#who you don't have to explain it all too because they already understand. so accomodating really is no demand at all for them.

[appendectomy]

people talk a lot on here about wilson accepting house in his whole messed up neurotic entirety but not enough people talk about the inverse. wilson is an incredibly neurotic personality, and although house jibes him constantly for it, in practice he is actually very touchingly accepting and accomodating. i just watched 6x19 which is the episode house tries to break up sam and wilson by doing all of wilson's pet-peeves like stacking dishes in the dishwasher wrong so he'll blame sam and resent her. which yeah is hilariously possessive on the surface. but it also implies that 1. house is aware enough of wilson's eccentricities that he can immediately spot when something is going to irritate him, such as the whole milk-in-the-fridge-door thing, and 2. that house is not only reflexively aware of these eccentricities, but also that he accomodates them enough in their everyday lives that a re-emergence of these annoyances is noticeable to wilson. to the point he correalates it with sam re-entering his life instead of house meddling. and also maybe 3. that house is aware enough of wilson's behaviour and body language that he picks up on what annoys wilson without wilson having to tell him, because wilson hates doing that, or that wilson is comfortable enough around house that he doesn't mind sharing these pet-peeves with him even though he doesn't like sharing them with his romantic partners.

house hates things he veiws as illogical or pointless, he rags on wilson for his obsessiveness about health and appearances, but he also cares enough about wilson to actively change his behaviours to accomodate the things that irritate him. he puts the milk in the body of the fridge instead of the door, not because it's suggested he cares at all about prolonging its shelf life, but because he knows wilson cares. sam balks at wilson and disdainfully suggests he has ocd (which i consider a win for my personal projection onto wilson, but that's besides the point) when wilson brings up his own perfectionism. but house accepts wilson in his neurotic entirety, and accomodates him so that they can live together relatively happily. to me, that suggests that house understands wilson's obsessive tendencies better than most 'regular' people, probably because of his own obsessive tendencies, which makes them complement eachother quite well. wilson is the exception for house, house would give up his crusade against pointlessness and his desire to push people's buttons if it meant keeping wilson around. he'd do it all the while complaining, but he'd still do it. this is the kind of thing that really strikes me bc it shows how comfortable and routine house's love for wilson is. it's domestic, it's relenting, it's just who they are. house's love for wilson is lived-in.

#house md #this ones for my mutuals with obsessive tendencies! make some noise #i really love thinking abt how house and wilson are both differently obsessive. and no one understand their obsessions quite like the other #it speaks to their closeness immenseley bc from personal experience #its so comforting and relieving to have someone in your life who just. gets your obsessiveness. #who you don't have to explain it all too because they already understand. so accomodating really is no demand at all for them.

[losingfayth]

it's nearing midnight and i'm walking home from a friend's apartment.

i'm sure i'm quite the sight to behold at the moment. my choice of gym short shorts is a bit premature for the weather. my hoodie would be perfectly seasonal if not for the curious choice to roll both sleeves up to my elbows. the cold is intense but manageable, and the sleeves don't even reach my wrists anyway. rolling them up at least gives the illusion that i want them to fail at covering my entire arm, rather than admit to any passersby that i chose a smaller size because i thought it looked nicer despite not accomodating my long, gangly limbs very well. the cheap fake crystals of my walmart cross necklace fail to catch the light of the streetlights, and the cross itself seems to contradict with my earrings which read "be gay, do crime." my glasses have rainbow frames. my piercings are numerous. my eyeliner is dramatically winged.

i'm sure i'm quite the sight to behold.

i feel, in this moment, like a character in an indie movie. i visually fit the part, surely, and i'm melancholicly listening to a sweet song about two lovers enjoying each others' simpler pleasures. it's a happy song that makes me sad.

i check my phone for new messages again. i texted my ex hours ago to see if she had time for me this weekend. i haven't heard back yet. she usually checks her phone before bed, so i should've seen something by now. but, then again, it is friday night. she could still be up. she could have plans.

that idea wrenches my chest. i can't imagine who she has plans with. i can imagine who she has plans with. i don't want her to have plans with him. god, please no.

i prayed earlier that we would be brought back together. i sure hope somebody listened.

i'm nearing the crosswalk, feeling like a character in an indie movie. maybe not an indie movie, actually. i may be "manic pixie," but i'm not exactly anyone's dream girl. maybe an alternative music video by some garage band out of portland. maybe that's more accurate.

then again... here's the thing: if i saw me, right now, in this moment, crossing the street in the middle of the night, a tall, alternative lesbian dressed inappropriately for the weather hauling an acoustic guitar on her back, i think i'd fall in love instantly. i would melt as she showed me her obscene pokemon merch collection (we love a girlie who's passionate) or explains her prescription insoles (we love a girlie who can make her own doctor's appointments). i'm no lesbian casanova, don't get me wrong, but i've fallen for girls with less going for them. why do i assume no one else is going to love all the same things i would?

i thought about a conversation. one i might have if i finally decide the jettison my ex-girlfriend from my life. "i deserve better than you!" i say.

...but, then again...

there's not too many people in this world who would put up with my bullshit. there's not too many people in this world who are as kind, caring, compassionate, loving, understanding as she is.

we visited her father's memorial one day. she was beside herself. an absolute wreck. but, before we left, she went to every single other memorial there and fixed it up. she straightened flags and put up fallen magnets and tended to plants. she did it like it was her job. like it was expected of her. and every time i bring it up, she responds the same way.

"it was the right thing to do."

i trust her to do the right thing in so many areas. i trust her to do the right thing almost all the time. the one thing i don't trust her to do right is keep safe my heart. she broke it once, and i'm here in agony again and again for her. if she truly doesn't want me, she should cut me loose for good. anything less is just cruel.

i feel like a character in an indie movie. a movie i want to end already.

#196 #196 rule #rule #lesbian #sapphic #sapphic yearning #sapphic longing #writing #lgbtq #rant #wlw #wlw post #queer #fayth and alex saga

[fifteenth-entity]

hi person I definitely do not know, choose the number 22 now let's see what you got

*cracks knuckles and neck*

everyone, meet my arch fucking nemesis.

one day, while we were in a literature workshop i think, we promised each other we'd write a character analysis of each other. we're both too scared to do it, but i will make a stand and this will be like... a hint of that. a teaser of what could be. an idea.

I don't exactly know where to start so I'll just pick a random point: I said previously that I visit Rei's house the most. That's because I practically live at Dee's house. It became so bad we eventually started going to uni together. It became a meme. and for good reason.

Dee is the most terrifying person you will ever see, but then you'll talk with them for 15 minutes and if you do end up clicking, you'll discover that there's nothing to be afraid of. They're very sweet, but so extremely introverted. Im an archeologist and they're ancient ruins which I KNOW exist and i WILL be digging them up.

but this person. this specimen. this creature. this eldritch entity. honestly man, i dunno what to say, other than this guy (gnc) is one of my best fucking friends and i am so happy about that. this BRAIN. they are genuinely the most fun to discuss shit about. like theyre one of the few people where i will rave about my special interests and they will rave about theirs and we will be having Fun.

speaking of raving about special interests, theyre one of the few neurotypical people with whom i genuinely feel heard and properly taken care of with. like so many of my acquiantances will just not understand the mental illness cocktail inside my brain, and dee doesn't either because they just don't experience it, but theyre one of the few people who will make accomodations for me without me even having asked and that is so noble of them.

also sorry for constantly talking about how hArD my life is. except when i say im dying or wanna kill myself. then im not sorry. i am a dramatic son of a bitch and you befriended me on PURPOSE.

also the ones that get it, get it, but creating an au with you has been one of the most fun experiences ever in my life. not only was it such a fun writing exercise (WRITERS CLUB WHO?) but i loved thinking with you and it was an excuse to spend time with you and no joke i would do it all over again and i WILL do it all over again you are extremely unsafe. and while our love languages clash, once we synced up and did parallel play perfectly, it was such... a safe environment. talking and planning an theorizing with them is fun as fuck. but chilling on their couch (aka my bed) while they play some strategy war game and i play breath of the wild and i listen to them rage at egyptians, mongolians, british, scottish, or whoever attacks their faction and theyre panicking about not having enough resources while i rapidly back away from an approaching lynel is so comforting.

drawing in the same room as them and explaining fashion trends while they explained the latest criminal minds episode to me was so fun. it was so safe. i will genuinely cherish every moment with them, and i massively appreciate them. I wont get into what the situation was, but i once had to run to their house at 12.30 am while carrying groceries in my pajamas, and i wouldd do that again, for any reason.

but also they BULLY me and i am being ABUSED. >:(

no bullying from me in this post tho, i already do a lot of that irl and i will not be stopping.

also i know you will never make your own post like this about me, dee, unless you're not a coward :)

#asks #friends #greetings-humans #'AM I BEING ROMANCED RIGHT NOW?' and 'I would give you my first born' are genuinely the most funny compliments ive ever received from #an aroace person thank you dee for that honor #but uh yeah uuhh who is this person oh noo stranger danger

[weathernerdmando]

I told my dad recently that I was looking to get evaluated for ehlers danlos because it would explain a lot and his reaction at first wasn't the best (it's honestly a little fucked up what he said but i saw where he got it and he did basically apologize for implying it) but once I actually got to explain why he seemed to get it. At first he was like "why do you want to get all these labels and to stand out and like I sort of get the perspective but now that I am actually chronically ill I just want to be healthy" and like I get it, I do, but I think what he didn't understand is I don't want to "stand out".

The problem lies in that I already do. The autism and ADHD alone already make me "unique" or whatever enough. It's not that I want. Its not that I want to be sick, I dont.

I just...i already am, or at least, have things wrong with me that haven't had answers so far for my entire life.

It's that I don't want to be alone. It's that I want to find other people who share similar issues who I can finally say "there's an answer to these random, seemingly unconnected, pain in the ass issues and other people understand it finally".

It's knowing I've always been medically complex and that apparently just kinda got forgotten/ignored because I thought most of it was normal because I didn't really know much else and once things were initially "dealt with" we kinda just moved on and if we needed to make accomodations we did but we just slid them between everything else and it was like they were always there before.

I know I've always been medically complex, but I didn't know that I wasn't the only one dealing with these issues and maybe some of it *is* fetal alcohol related but I don't see those things in me much at all, and even if it is a factor it doesn't explain the things I'm looking for answers for.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis for the hell of it. It's not for another label to slap on, it's not another "fun little trivia piece" or whatever you want to call it.

It's getting answers and ways to deal so things cause me less pain and I can stop being exhausted 90% of the time and maybe only be tired to exhausted 70% (50% is optimistic I think, lol). It's maybe maybe maybe finding out why no matter what I do, how much more I eat, how much I try to remember to eat, why i cant gain weight, why I can't get the body signals that signify hunger like I should be, it's maybe getting a path forward to a healthy weight for the first time in my life. I've never hit 3 digits and I *should* be and it's not intentional at all, I try and try and try but I simply can't and getting some reasoning as to why?? And maybe finding ways to get there?? That's what I want.

It's finding another person who's ribs move like mine in a way they really shouldn't and the relief in knowing "this person has an Official this is something wrong diagnosis and they share this trait with me and I finally have confirmation that this *should* concern me a little" but that there is also an explanation for it too.

I just want to be able to do things, accomodations or otherwise, somewhat normally for once. I'm used to accomodations, they've already been present in some way throughout my entire life. I wanted to be normal for a long, long time and I'm never going to be. I know I'm not like most people. I know that.

I don't want to be normal. I'm not ever going to be. What I want is to find other not normal people like me who I can say "this is happening and it hurts" and get a "yeah, same, you're not alone" response from or maybe "Here's things that have helped me, maybe talk to your doctor about them" and "Yeah, no, you're not overreacting to that being painful or weird or whatever, that's not something you should be able to do".

I'm not looking to stand out but to some extent, blend in and have a chance to finally just rest for a second or two.

I told him some of this, summarized really, and he kinda sat for a second, and I think understood what I was saying. And he said "I'm sorry you've been dealing with all this and I didn't realize."

So I think he understood why, in the end, but still. It's nice to lay it all out in the end anyways.

#personal shit #tagging to track comment reblog whatever lol #weight mention #ehlers danlos #hEDS #probably

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I don't like ranking autism in any way but especially in general tiers and let me explain why.

So I'm what people would generally agree is a "tier one" autistic. I'm diagnosed, and I'm very low support needs. I work in home care for disabled individuals and I have worked with higher support needs autistic people. I won't share any more about my experiences out of respect for my client's privacy but I say that just to say that I'm not one of those low support needs people who has only ever interacted with other low support needs people. I am aware of the struggles of those who have higher support needs than I do.

So with that disclaimer out of the way I want to talk about why I don't like tiers. It's not helpful in my mind. I'll use myself as an example. I struggle most heavily with sensory issues and executive functioning. One of the biggest ways this impacts me is how I eat. I'm very grateful to live in a time where I can use vitamins to get around a lot of my issues with eating but there are certain foods, often foods that have fundamental neurients in them that I cannot physically force myself to swallow because of the way it feels. My executive functioning makes it very difficult to compleat certain iADLs. Before I started the diet I'm currently on I would sometimes starve rather than prepare my own food because of the difficulty of the task. I could prepare my own food sometimes but sometimes it was like climbing a mountain. Both the sensory issues and the executive dysfunction affect me in many other ways this is not an exhaustive list, but I don't want this post to be too horribly long. That said my motor issues are so mild that they're negligible (I have messy handwriting and a weird gait but I can correct for both of those if I focus) and I never have trouble speaking.

However there might be a different "tier one" autistic person who doesn't struggle with sensory issues at all and who's executive dysfunction is much milder than mine but who is hit or miss on their ability to speak in a way that they have to structure their life around, and who really struggles with motor function, maybe they even also have trouble feeding themselves because their motor functioning makes it difficult for them to get the food from their plate to their mouth. That is a whole separate issue from my own eating struggles which needs a whole different system for support.

Me and this other person would have completely separate needs, we have different struggles. We have some things in common like being sort of able to hold a job with the right accomodations, being able to mask more or less effectively in some but not all situations, and being on the lower end in terms of support needs. We both struggle with feeding ourselves but in very different ways. If you told someone tasked with helping me that I was a "tier one" autistic it wouldn't tell you which set of those two problems I have or how to help me it just tells you that I need less help than someone who's a tier two. How much less help? Who knows. On top of that a person might know me, who hasn't had a problem with speech since I was small, and assume incorrectly that all "tier ones" are able to speak all of the time, which would be an incorrect assumption. We already have a phrase to help categorize struggle. It's high support needs and low support needs. It's called the autism spectrum, not the autism pyramid scheme.

TL;DR: if someone told me I had a tier 3 autistic client that I needed to help that information would not illuminate anything about their needs for me. There is an enormous diversity of needs and struggles within any given tier. I think it's about as useful as high needs vs low needs and I think listing spacific struggles is far more useful if it is my business and you don't need to say a damn thing if it's not.

I suppose if tiers are helpful for you in understanding your own autism im not gonna police that, I just find it to be unhelpful.

#not to mention that hot take its probably just another way to rank our usefulness to allistic society #which i do not endorse #anything that assigns a number value that is considered 'better' to autistics who need less help and can hold a job #is something i will always be suspicious of #actually autistic

[tottymatsuno]

Was thinking about why I like Todomatsu sm and I think it boils down to I would know where I stand with him at all times. It wouldn't require any guesswork to know if he liked me or not, in fact Todomatsu is pretty obvious when he dislikes ppl if his relationship with Atsushi is any indicator.

He's very honest with his feelings so I would know 100% if I were being rejected or not. A big part of my personal social anxiety stems from the fact growing up I wasn't a particularly loved or cared for child. Tolerance was love, hatred was love, wishing death upon me, pain and abuse was all love. If someone was apathetic towards me then I was already half way there. All of my best friends when I was a child were earned by offering my back as a footrest. People who told me outright, "I hated you at first and thought you were annoying." were a common thread before a series of self serving compliments. I didn't realize it back then but those ambiguous and open ended rejections were no's. A maybe isn't a yes, it's not a could be yes. A maybe is a no.

Very rarely have I met someone who said "maybe" and that turned to a yes. If someone said "maybe I can see you on your birthday" I'd be calling from my land-line to see are you coming?? Will you be here?

I don't like not knowing. I don't like it when people sugarcoat their feelings, I don't like unclear communication. It's hard for me to stomach when I ask are you mad at me and that person says No. And I know that means "I'm incredibly furious." I'm not a mind reader, and I when I realize I am try to stop assuming/projecting/explaining a reason to myself bc I have very low empathy and the conclusion I come to is almost never correct.

What I like about Totty is that he'd tell me then and there, "You're annoying me." or "You're making me angry." if he felt that way. It'd easier to know and if he wasn't angry at me I know he'd still be honest. He'd rather lie through omission than lie outright. If I asked "are you mad at me?" he might say yes and if asked "how mad?" he'd answer. Unless I really made him angry and then depending on what I'd ask he might say nothing at all rather than to sugarcoat it.

I like that he's still very gentle with what he says and that often he's thinking about things in both a logical and emotional viewpoint bc that's how I look at things too. I try very hard to communicate clearly because of my disabilities it makes it harder for other people to understand me. Growing up I didn't realize just how unliked I was because I didn't know that "I guess I could try..." meant I don't want to. I didn't really know these things.

It's better for everyone to make yourself understood. My paranoia is pretty extreme and with my past experiences it's easy to get why ambiguous things are bad for me. Ive got accomodating DPD, I was someone who was groomed to serve other people and any outburst or expression of negative emotions even just crying would often lead to traumatic experiences. The paranoia of being in a public space and knowing people are watching and consuming and making judgments of me that aren't accurate is hard.

If you correct them even if gently it feeds into the confirmation bias that, "well he said it so bluntly so I was right." and then that projection continues. My instincts are to become what people say I am and i try very hard after years of therapy to not give into that compulsion.

I like Todomatsu bc he wouldn't assume anything about me either way or at least wouldn't project it onto me. It's very clear he values getting other people's side of the story firsts he can understand situations better. I just really like that he'd tell me "No, I'm really mad at you but I don't want to see you get hurt so let me do this for you."

It's just better than being told "I'm not mad." when that person is seething and I can see it. There's no game to figure out "are they lying or settling, do they want me to serve them in some way?" when there's openness. It's actually very difficult the more people I interact with and the more facets I am told about myself that seem to be universal not to try my hardest to fit into that mold. I don't want people to really explain to me who I am, I don't know who I am. I'd rather understand others better.

#open_mouth.exe #Vents about this for really no reason

[slightlyaggressiveaffirmations]

I feel like some people I know (including my supervisor and occasionally professors) don't understand that I sometimes take longer than other people to complete tasks or learn things (probably due to several of my disabilities). Do you have any advice for explaining this to other people but not making it seem like an excuse? My accommodation of extra time on assignments in school doesn't allow me very much extra time. Can I also request some affirmations about it's OK to learn at my own pace?

Hi Anon!

I have similar problems to you - because of my cognitive dysfunction, I am a slow learner, and I usually need three times as long to read anything. I am currently working on a research project for my degree that should take me one semester - but I have been able to negotiate much much longer - the initial plan is that instead of the usual 15 weeks, I will aim for 27, with the option for additional time if I need it. The reason: I cannot take in more than about 10 pages of reading a day, and that’s simply not enough.

So... let’s talk about how I explained and negotiated my way to this agreement:

1. I am registered with Disability Services

So, not every school has one, and it doesn’t help with a workplace, but essentially what this means is that I took steps to explain my situation before it became a problem. As well as registering that I need assistance (which I’m guessing you have done too - hence the extra time) I always speak to a new lecturer or professor myself after the first class. I say something like:

“Hi. My name’s Kate and you will have recieved an Education Access Plan for me. I just want to let you know some things...”

My school has rules that the Plan has to be followed, and the staff aren’t allowed to ask me why I need my special accomodations, but I like to be upfront and explain to them. Then they feel like I’m honest and trustworthy, etc. And I find them always very accomodating.

2. I make sure people see the effort I put in

I am a high achiever. At school, in the workplace, in my activism work, in video games! At school, I care a lot about my grades, but I also make a deliberate effort to be sure my lecturers and teachers can see my effort. I ask a lot of questions and raise my hand when I know the answers to things. I contribute to class discussions. I email if I am sick and I go to consultation hours and ask for help.

This means that when I need that extra time to finish an essay, they know wasn’t lazy or wasting time (and sometimes, maybe, I was!) because I have that track record of being a good student who puts effort in. I’ve even got a reputation now with staff I haven’t met.

I do the same thing at a job. I work hard and I make sure I’m seen working hard.

Note: You should not have to do this! I should not have to. Our word and a medical certificate should be enough. But it often isn’t, and you asked for advice, so this is it, sadly.

3. I explained exactly what my need is and why

When it came to negotiating this specific longterm extension on my research, I had to ask my supervisor to commit to much longer. That’s a big ask. So, I needed to be clear on what my problem is and I also came to her with a proposed solution to that problem. The clearer you can be, the better (which can be hard with a cognitive disability - but writing it down can help)

So. Problem: I can only read about ten pages or so a day of the kind of complex academic language this research requires. That’s drastically below the amount I need to read in the timeframe available.

Solutions: I need more time. There’s a way we can enrol me so the computer system allows me to take more than one semester, and I came to her with that information. I wrote a proposed study plan of how long it might take me and when I might have a first draft, a final draft, etc. I included what kind of information I thought I needed and how much time I thought the first few of these might require (Two weeks on Subject A, Three on Subject B).

I also explained to her how varying the tasks I’m performing helps me to keep focused - so I wrote a list of the tasks I needed to do besides reading, and gave her these too, so she could see how I’d help myself work better by varying tasks.

People love it when they don’t have to do that much work! If you say “Here’s the problem, I already found the solution, please tick the box that says you agree” they fucking LOVE that. The thing is done with the least inconvenience to them.

So, your problem: You need longer to complete tasks or learn something new.

If you feel comfortable, it will help to explain why this is. In simple terms, but not patronising. I always say:

“I have trouble concentrating, especially if there are distractions like other noises - even something minor like an air conditioner. I get tired easily, I can only focus for short periods. I fall asleep when reading long passages of text. I read slowly. Some days I cannot read at all.”

All of those things make up “I need more time”, but they explain WHY I need more time, and often a person who is just ignorant about disabilities simply hasn’t bothered to think about it and when you explain it like this, they begin to understand why you find things more difficult than they do.

Another thing I like to say is “Think about how you function when you’re very tired. When you try to read a book but you’re ready to fall asleep and the words blur - that’s me all the time” - that’s an experience that they can relate to, and that really helps!

Then you can tell them the solution: “It would really help if I had extra time. That would give me more time to read everything over twice to make sure I understand it.” Or you could say the extra time helps you because you can only work for a small period each day and therefore you need more days to give you an equal amount of work time as your classmates.

OK. In summary:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an “excuse” - it’s just a reason you didn’t or can’t do something and we shouldn’t attach negative connotations to that. But I know what you mean when you say you don’t want it to sound like an excuse, so ways to avoid that include:

1. Make your needs clear BEFORE you need them. (I realise you’re already in the situation, but note for future) If you’ve already told someone about a potential problem, it will not sound made-up to them when you bring it up during a deadline.

2. Make them trust you. Show them that you wouldn’t lie. If they think you are an excellent student/employee/citizen/etc, they will not see you as having a reason to make up some excuse. Why would you when you’re normally so diligent and enthusiastic?

3. Explain the WHY (I do and learn things slower because...) and offer solutions by explaining HOW they help (More time would mean...)

This was an extremely long answer... Not sure I could read it all in one hit myself, tbh! :p Might be pushing that ten page limit.

Good luck, Anonymous Friend. I hope some of this is helpful to you.

- The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer

#slightly aggressive advice #disability saas

[sincerity--extreme]

Hi I saw your post in the adhd hashtag and I just wanted to say I relate. For my job I’ve had to take two mental health medical leaves and the process of dealing with the company’s insurance and policy and having to “prove” my mental health issues was more traumatizing then what I already have to deal with. They called me on a recorded line asking stupid questions like “are you able to do laundry” I sat on that phone in the verge of tears because I’m like I’m not going to tell you I feel suicidal and that my freaking brain doesn’t work. That affects my work I need my brain to be able to mentally think. Anyone can do freaking laundry I do it even when I’m depressed. Even if I explained in detail my struggles they still wouldn’t understand. I just hate that these “helpful” things people claim to have in place as mental health “resources” are not actually setup to help. I’m like I can tell people who created this stuff never battled mental health issues. I have adhd and will be getting back on the long road of searching for the correct meds for me. I’m exhausted but I have to keep fighting to obtain the life I want not the one that has been forced upon me due to lack of support and a world who believes everything I’m struggling with is bs. I just want to say you got this, things will get harder but hopefully you’ll see the light in the midst of the struggle. You are stronger than you’ll ever realize. We don’t view ourselves as we really are. We automatically see the negative but you put up with more shit than most people will ever deal with in life. You are AMAZING! Definitely focus on gratitude it helps a bit. I hope you have a wonderful new year and thank you for posting it made me not feel alone! 😌💙😊

First of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply, I never got the notification and this only appeared in the activity area today for some strange reason, I don't even know if you'll ever see this but hopefully you do

It really is extremely complicated, sometimes I feel like the world simply wasn't build for us, and in some areas unfortunately it's true, like in the education and working area and it sucks, it feels scary to try to do anything because most of the times we don't receive the accomodations that we need, even the simple ones. I am so sorry you went through that, I feel your pain, it's horrible when people dismisses our feelings or turn them around. Like, my parents never even tried to understand my needs, I'm constantly being disrespected in my own home, sometimes, my struggle with ADHD and depression aren't the hardest part of my day, dealing with my parents is and that, to me became the most painful thing to deal with on a daily basis. There's so much I need to figure out this year regarding work and I'm terrified as I have no help and without an official diagnosis I can't even (try to) get any accomodations and I'm not medicated at all (also my parents are against medication so that's a issue too) so once again, I feel your pain and I'm so, so sorry the world doesn't even try to understand and help us a little better.

What I learned during the past few years with the help of an amazing therapist and 2 awesome and very patient friends is that we need to hold onto the people that actually care about us, those who rush to our "rescue" when we need it the most. For years I didn't have that and it made everything even harder, having to do it all by myself felt impossible and today I know it really is, we can't do everything alone, so I truly hope you have a "security system" as I call it, people you can call when you need it the most, people who will call to check on you and will stay around when they can tell you need it even if you can't say it.

I'm so incredibly proud of you for keep fighting, I know how hard it is and how much easier it'd be to just give up, but I want you to know that the world is a better place with you in it, we all know how... Complicated things are, so we're all in desperate need of more good people with true nice intentions

Thank you so much for sending this, it brighten my day to know my words reached someone and helped them not feel like they're completely alone, this ask also helped me a lot!!

Hope you also had a wonderful New Years and that you're starting to feel better now, and if you're not that's ok, I'm still proud of you and if this ever reaches you, know you can talk to me if you ever need, I'll love to meet a new person and try to help as well as I can!!

And that goes for anyone who might be needing someone to talk or vent/complain with, I'm your girl, love to complain and to help!

#ADHD #depression #I really really hope you see this #whoever you are #this ask meant so much to me #I hate that Tumblr didn't showed it to me before #also #I'm sorry for how messy this looks #I got lost as I started writing and then #started rambling and simply couldn't organize everything properly #hope it's still readable