tottymatsuno

[tottymatsuno]

English added by me :)

#Todomatsu

[tottymatsuno]

Todomatsu should be involved in some youtube drama where he’s a family vlogger and gets cancelled when outed that the child he was pretending to be the single dad of quits over a payment dispute

#just pitching s4 skits

[tottymatsuno]

Todomatsu could be the first trans woman to have an abortion

#LOL?

[tottymatsuno]

Btw yall love her right? We all canonically Trans woman Todomatsu? We all love her so so much?

@iyamifucker ty for providing the image 💕

#I should redraw this

[tottymatsuno]

Osomatsu would be the first man ever to jack off in a public bathroom and contract syphilis

#shower thoughts or w/e. i was thinking about him rinsing his dick in the sink

[tottymatsuno]

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

#could see todomatsu doing this since he be making the worst faces always constantly

[tottymatsuno]

xreader fic is so inherently healing like

do you love yourself? no? that's okay this character you love loves you back. are you kind? that is why they love you. are you patient? that is why they love you. are you a coward are you shy are you brave are you bold are you bratty? that is why they love you. you are loved and you will not be punished for seeking love. you are loved and you will find it here in these words.

do you love yourself yet? no? that's okay this character can love you until you do. this character will point out the few traits you can relate with yourself (your smile, your laugh, you brattiness, your whimsy, your strength, your sorrow) and tell you that they love that about you until one day you can love it, if not yourself, too.

do you love yourself yet? no? but you're starting to accept that you can be loved? that there is something in you- your awkwardness, your bashfulness, your straightforward mind, you ability to heal, your ability to fight- that someone could look at and learn to adore? well done. you're right, this character does see that and adore it. you may not love yourself just now, just yet, but now you see right? That there is something to love in you?

[tottymatsuno]

Still thinking about how he doesn’t wash his hands, dudes paws must smell like balls sometimes. I would side eye him so hard, but also tbh if we lived together i would also wait outside of the bathroom to see if he washed his hands and yell at him for it. I always wash mine

#like ive done that before. i have waited outside of the bathroom to ask #i actually used to get on my ex about that all the time even tho they claimed not to touch it when peeing #i would kill him. but it is kinda funny thinking about how similar we are except im better

[tottymatsuno]

[tottymatsuno]

i love it when they lazily design background characters with their faces. any matsu oc can be canon if you believe....jonamatsu is there. hes rly there

[tottymatsuno]

bald headed scallywag...

#HOW YOU GONNA BE THE ONLY ONE BALDING OUT OF SIX IDENTICAL DUDES #dsjkfdjkgd #i would make fun of him but i wub him dearly #tottimemes

[tottymatsuno]

he could manipulate me so easily and it would take at least a decade before i divorced him for it

[tottymatsuno]

this is a political compass of sexuality to me.

#me and Totty depending on the day #all four though

[tottymatsuno]

hi there! sorry for the random ask but do you happen to know of/remember what the artwork of iyami as a flight attendant is from?

Oh! This one?

I do remember what it was for! It was an advertisement for a vlog Kenichi Suzumura and Miyu Irino (Iyami and Todomatsu’s voice actors respectively) filmed while traveling to and spending a while in France together to promote the first Osomatsu-san movie, in 2019.

It’s kind of random because they sure don’t go to France in the movie and Iyami and Todomatsu don’t have any solo scenes together either. Maybe they were already going to France together and decided to take advantage of the trip to advertise the movie a little, heh.

Sadly, I have no idea of where these vlogs were shown or even if they were released to the public at all or were like, something only sent to people who subscribed to the official Osomatsu-san fan club. But I mean, any event that makes their artist department draw a brand new piece of official Iyami art is a great event in my book, and this is a very cute piece of official Iyami art too. Just look at him!

#You have to buy the bluray of it but uts also available on amazon #i think a lot of rhis content is probably available for piracy someone on the jp net but you have to speak the language #😭

[tottymatsuno]

#me rn when I’m scrambling to get my life together

[tottymatsuno]

Yall can't see this so imma post this pic of Ichimatsu with context for my tumblr gold mutuals

Excerpts from the 20 pounds of pussy and ass saga w @ichikos

#YEASDBFHSHDHSH #the whole conversation was so funny i wish i knew where the screenshots of it are but also chahfushs i don’t talk to this person anymore #but this was so fun im glad i didnt misremember or like saw the 20 pounds of pussy and ass in a dream #a booty mirage or something

[tottymatsuno]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

#I HAD NO CLUE THOSE THINGS COST 500$ fbsjdjsjdjDJFHHE #WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER ME AND TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING ON THE INTERSTATE HWY TO THE MOVIES AND WE SAW THE BOX #and LIKE WE ENDED UP GOING IN THE ADULT VIDEO STORE NEARBY BC SHANNAN WAS PREGNANT AND I NEEDED WATER AND TO PEE #BUT I NEVER FORGOT THE 20LBS OF PUSSY AND ASS BOX ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD #omg i had talked to some ex friends about this too and we made up a whole ososan skit about it cuajshajs #imma reblog it #but. choro. oso. and todo… #tho initially i had totty being super shy about it ahfhshsjs