#which was 19 days ago

[tellthemhowihopetheyshouted]

#ttpd #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #all the back covers combined #ive spent 70 dollars on this gd album and will probably spend more #(4 different cds) #taylor please don't make me pay 6 dollars for shipping each time when i bought 4 of basically the same thing #and they're all cominng at the same time #especially bc im just gonna have to throw away the packaging bc it sure as shit isn't recyclable in my area #being a taylor swift fan has drastically increased my carbon footprint #and decreased my bank accounts #not even that excited about this new track i just have to collect them all at this point #anyway i was wondering if you put all the back covers together they would fill in each others gaps and spell something #but i dont think they do #looks cool though #fuck capitalism and my goblin urge #how many more if these are there? im both excited and filled with dread #i dont want to spend 25+ USD for 16 of the same tracks and one new one x more times #she anounced it on the 4th #which was 19 days ago #and made 2 new variations #so thats like 1 every 10 days #until april 19th #god i hate capitalism #girl you're a billionaire donate this at the very fucking least

[mysicklove]

hey my friends, my lovers, my little bastards, i am going to be taking a little break! gonna be gone until bout maybe couple days before kinktober...maybe 29th of september or around that time. today will be my last day on here for awhile, so just wanted to let u guys know before i disappear for a bit lol.

alsoo i will be queing my kinktober masterlist like 3 times, so if you see that posted randomly, dont be suprised lol.

and to my mutuals, ill prob not be on discord. i associate discord with tumblr, and i wanna have a break from it all. sooooooooo....ill see you around!

#🔪 - mello talks too much #nothing bad happened dont worry #just #i got alot of shit i need to priorize and im focusing it instead on tumblr #which is not good LOL #19 credits....plus work #i gotta start paying attention to my studies. #also my parents bought me a car a couple days ago bc they were proud of what i am doing with myself #which i am sooooooooooooo greatful for #but it made me realize how im basically lying to them bc i aint doin shit other than write for kinktober #so #thats not good #i need to earn my car!!! #nd not be addicted tot his app #so yes #gotta maintain my 4.0 and also start volunteering at hospitals #and work

[orcelito]

It is Now

My birthday 😌

I am now 27 💃

#speculation nation #i'll update my bio later bcus i gotta b on my computer to not wreck my html #but the age old 'it's my birthday which means it's time to tick that age up one more year' #been doing this ever since i was 15 lol. and so it shall continue for the foreseeable future. #anyways im feeling better than i was earlier. my girlfriend came over & that helped a Lot #just chatted and cuddled as i waited for my birthday to hit. #it is now may 13th. my 27th birthday. and i have absolutely nothing written for ITNL chapter 19 😭 #i'm working on getting there tho. making good progress in my reread. just having to be more thorough than expected. #i'll still make it my birthday chapter. just in a 'hey my birthday was a few days ago. if u guys wanna wish me happy birthday :]' way #anyways yea if anyone wants to be oh so niceys to me in my comments or asks i would enjoy that very much 🥺

[britneyshakespeare]

I have to be so honest and vulnerable with you for a second. I keep thinking of getting another complete works of Shakespeare

#tales from diana #my riverside 1973 is still my beloved baby but she's really worse for the wear these days #i didn't start thinking about it till i got one for my friend like 6 months ago for his bday #and i kept looking at it and being like oh wow. his doesn't have all the scratches and rips mine does #mine is still BETTER obviously bc it's MINE. it's in worse condition objectively but it's MINE #making it the best copy in existence. to me #and it was my aunt's textbook at boston college. my grandmother let me have it. i think of it as a family heirloom #and the coating on the front cover side of the spine has been slowly tearing off :( #like there's one long vulnerable rip almost all the way down. idk how to prevent it from breaking further #other than just by not using it. and idk how to fix it wo making it potentially worse #i didn't know how to take care of old gigantic books when i got it at 19. i never considered it #i hadn't had one before. but now im more experienced #and im also just curious about what's inside other editions. especially newer ones #i only have 6 plays and at least 3 of them i plan to read in a copy other than the riverside #like my 23 plays and sonnets (1953) edited by t. m. parrot has 2 and another play im gonna borrow from library lending #and id definitely wanna get rid of a lottttt of books i have right now before getting a new one #im already planning on which books to donate when i declutter #and i need to declutter my books DESPERATELY. so so desperately #it'd just be nice to have another complete works in my collection. for a number of reasons. #that way i also suppose ill have two big books of shakespeare for auntie diana to pass down someday #i don't plan on getting one soon im just in the contemplative phase. but boy am i tempted

[thebirdandhersong]

genuinely shocked that I'm not actually 17 anymore

#i remember being 17 much more vividly than 19 #the glitter shimmering on my high school friend's cheekbones under the disco light #the taste of those chocolate chip cliff bars i always brought to school as an afternoon snack #the way i would unlock the lock combination in between classes and how cold the metal was #the pinks and oranges of the sky above the setting sun through the window on a day i stayed late #i remember so much of it so vividly that i'm surprised to realise that it wasn't just a few months ago #granted it was lockdown when i was 19 and it was pretty awful so i forgot it on purpose or something like that #it is so much of a blur. but still #i read books with characters who are in their late teens and catch myself going oh yeah they're around my age #no they're not xD #anyhow Thoughts!! i have age on the mind since i'm turning twenty two in a few months (which is surreal) #in more ways than one i still FEEL seventeen #songbird again

[yeonban]

★ for the wonder dorks

Send me a ★ and I’ll bold what applies to your muse.

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you/ I love you / You are family (will be soon!!) / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me / You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in the hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt affect me more than anyone else /

#muse: takeda naotora. #ofdraiocht #I'm laughing at but I'm also incredibly fond of just how SMITTEN Naotora is for Naoe. just outright down horrendously #Him bolding every technically-an-insult part (mean; petty; childish) and then Immediately following that with an yearning sigh #Naoe beefs with a trio of 16 year olds and smacks his 19 year old retainer over the head w a brush and Naotora's still <333 #I'm crying about how Naotora went from keeping everything a secret from Naoe to willingly spilling all the beans tho... #He REALLY didn't want to confess anything of importance just a year ago and yet now Naoe knows everything. from childhood to present day #which IS more than even Tatsuomi knows :') bc Naotora didn't tell Tatsuomi about how Aijiro is his father instead of older brother #nor did Naotora tell him /everything/ he went through as a child at the Takeda. but he DID tell Naoe both of the above and beyond! #The sheer trust and love Naotora has for Naoe to open up that thoroughly and to put his heart in Naoe's hands... augh I ADORE them!!

[heavenknowsffs]

Sorry for another vent post but here goes

#like i'm not looking for a relationship ok ? but i met this guy and we've been hooking yp #but like he is being all sweet and caring and he is great don't get me wrong #he's like eddie munson i'm not gonna lie #but at the same time he doesn't get my jokes and when i make a sarcastic comment or something funny he always thinks i'm being honest #and then he's too sweet if it makes sense in normal convos? BUT if i am ganuinely distressed (which i am a lot you guys know) #he is just not very emotionally intelligent 😬 and like it's all fun and wtv but i feel like he might like me more than i like him #and i called him babe once bc i had this girl friend who calls everyone babe and i spent like 3 days with her so i called him that #and now he always calls me babe and i'm like 😐 pls stop but i can't tell him to stop bc it will seem rude #and yeah my friends that know him are like he's such a cool guy and so sweet and everything and it looks like we're dating #but like we're not man we're not i met him a few weeks ago #anyway i think in reality i'm trying to find bad things about him just so i can justify not liking him and sabotage the whole thing bc + #+ i'm too afraid lmao #i think i'm emotionally unavailable and don't want a relationship or feel ready for it at all #i feel like i'm starting that age most ppl have at 18/19 of exploring and just vibing except i should have gone through that then #but i never got the change bc of abusive relationships and being at home and not having freedom to just exist #and now i do and i feel like if i start dating someone i'll lose my freedom again #which should not even happen in a healthy relationship but that's how i feel #maybe will talk about this to my therapist see what he says #i think i know what he will say like 'you're just afraid don't think about it too much tell him how you feel' #and i HAVE told him generally how i feel and that i don't want to move mad about it and he was like 'no were just getting to know eachother

[cherry-shipping]

aaaooughhh. cook for me fictional other. fictional other. cook for me

#cherry chats #or just. get me food. pleeeeeeeease im asking so niceys #i didnt. get any food today Cause they freaking forgot me #which. shoulnt be a problem because im almost 19 i should be able to make food for myself #but. as it turns out. i canttttt #and anyway i like to imagine papyrus cooking for me because he loves cooking and i think making food is how he shows he cares 4 ppl….. #or one way at least #blegh. anyway im not gonna go full vent mode on here because who give a shit but. it also makes me feel so STUPID 4 not being able to do #like. basic stuff like feeding myself #so. i think papyrus would like making me stuff to eat and also encouraging me about it #also. hed be good at forcing me to eat in a way that doesnt make me feel bad #ive talked about this before but i feel guilty when i tell people i havent eaten in awhile so i lie and stuff….. #like ‘oh i ate not too long ago so im fine’ and then #‘not long ago’ means like. 3 days. #and it makes me feel guilty and makes other people worry and then THEY feel guilty cause they cant really do anything #but papyrus is cool and awesome and smart so he doesnt make me admit it out loud and he makes me eat stuff even when i dont wanna #but. in a way that doesnt make me feel bad either. hes a master of psychological manipulation But like good #like. i tried a new recipe and you HAVE to taste it and tell me what u think or ill look sooo sad and dejected ^__^ #blarfgh. anyway -_- #i wish my cool awesome bffsie papyrus was here to make me awesome food

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Dang.

Resurrection day and cc!Tommy’s birthday and a good writing day and getting to spend time with baby cousins?? All on the same day???

#this was a very fun day :D #THE KING IS RISEN!!!!!!! YES!!!!! #listened to Christ And Christ Crucified earlier today—absolutely amazing song fantastic just wonderful just incredible one of my favorites #I actually heard it for the first time a year ago exactly! it was during the Easter service my church does :) #but yes amazing song amazing DAY Jesus is ALIVE!!!! #I actually didn’t realize it was Tommy’s birthday until today XD #can’t believe he’s 19 now oh my gosh :0 #hope he had a good day :) #and writing okayokay; this past week has been pretty busy for me so I didn’t have as much time to write as I usually do #which has been a little frustrating #but I ended up writing over 1K words in about an hour (which was surprising sjsvsjdbwksvsi) and it felt… really really good #especially because I worked on two stories that I’ve been stuck with for a while. it was soooo nice to have inspiration for those again #me and a ton of family members all met up today to celebrate easter/hang out #MY BABY COUSINS I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM 😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #the youngest wanted me to read him a book (twice!!) and held onto my finger as he looked for plastic eggs outside and he just apsgsiagsskshw #and the oldest wanted me to play with her and she gave me a flower and said it was a BFF flower 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #my heart exploded #I love my baby cousins SO DARN MUCH #but anyway allll this to say: today has been good. really fun and kinda busy but really really good #my post #rambling in tags #I AM FILLED WITH SO MUCH HAPPINESS AND LOVE AND JOY

[captaincleverusernamehere]

Welp. My brother who just came back from a different state and was locked in the basement IMMEDIATELY because he caught covid there has STILL managed to infect me. So. I guess I have covid now. This really sucks.

#UGH I have a summer job that I Really Like and now I can’t go!!!! #more time to do artfight I guess…? #and just sort of relax just a little bit? I’m asymptomatic for now which is good but my bro came home literally two days ago so. early days. #and he’s Very sick so I really hope I don’t get like that :||| #welp. #covid #covid tw #covid 19

[2-wuv]

lov age & how weird it is for sysmates

#talky #system shit #by lov i mean It's Weird #anytime someone doesn't front for a while and they come back up front they tend to have aged a few years or so #Cain went from being around ??? minor aged ??? to like 20 #and he's... like. #In everyone's shared canon. according to Eden (who plots all this out) Pure's the eldest sibling... At 18-19. #And Eden is still. 18-19ish in-sus #*in-sys #Cain sir u cannot be Pure's younger half sibling and also be older than Literally all ur siblings here HELLO HEHWUS /JOKE #Eden's so miffed abt it too and Cain's super smug abt it and I'm like He lp HEJWJAKSKDJDKDODDK #and SPEAKING OF WEIRD AGE SHIT RELATED TO 13 A AND B fuckin... I think Isaac de-aged #not age regressed no he was like 5 when I last saw him (which was‚ a couple days ago) #I... Assume? It was A-side Isaac though and not B-side bc he was Not Angry At The World. #so. that's fun! #tl;dr age is a conundrum sometimes . #though mentally everyone's still the same (For Thee Most Part) #there's my system ramblings 4 the day. yeehaw

[intersectionalpraxis]

"If a pig catches both a human influenza A virus and an avian influenza A virus at the same time, it can spark a process known as viral reassortment — a genetic exchange in which flu viruses swap gene segments." "Those swaps can introduce dramatic changes, producing a new virus with certain properties of a non-human strain coupled with the capacity to infect and spread between people." "The death rate in humans may be upwards of 50 per cent, World Health Organization data suggests, though it's possible that milder infections are getting missed, skewing the case fatality ratio. Still, in a population that's never been exposed, the global impacts could be dire." "More human cases could also be happening under the radar among farm workers who've moved to the U.S. from abroad, don't speak English as their first language, and may be hesitant to seek medical help, he added." "So I think there's probably underreporting on both sides," Armstrong said." "If [H5N1] gets into a population where there's constantly animals going in and out … it might not ever leave."

I've been watching this develop for the past several days, and apart from being terrified most people will not take this seriously (I've seen a handful of people already shout conspiracy on social media and it's alarming to see, as always). What I wanted to point out is that pandemics are going to continue to be our 'normal.' I watched a great video on YouTube a while ago (I believe it was by Vice?) that touched base on how this is going to become our new reality because of multiple factors (such as our proximity to animals, and environments/etc). It was when Covid hit and they did a piece debunking some of the misinformation floating on the internet. If I can find it I will post it here because it was informative and relevant to pretty much any world crisis we will see around any virus that spreads among a human population.

This post isn't trying to fear monger anyone, I just hope more people are aware of what is happening because this is important to talk about. There are already cases (of cows getting this bird flu) in the US, and I won't be surprised if there will be instances in more countries around the world. As usual, keep washing your hands/keeping good hygiene practices, masking up (and if you aren't I hope you consider it), and taking precautions if you do happen to visit/work or go near a pig or poultry farm too:

I'll keep track of this here of course, but please stay informed folks. And also FU to any governments who will try to minimize this or try to diminish the severity until it's too late and community spread happens like Covid because their actions are influenced by capitalistic interests.

Update (April 7th, 2024, 9:32pm EST): to anyone wondering where some of the source information originates from -here is a link to the CDC. They are tracking documented avian virus outbreaks in the US and the public can access it here:

#current news #current events #global news #united states #cattle #cows #cattle farming #avian flu #bird flu #h5n1 #mask up #pandemic #covid #covid isn't over #covid conscious #covid is airborne #covid is not over #viruses #fuck capitalism #anti captialism #healthcare #public health #world health organization #cdc #news update #update

[moonwish]

turbulent events have happened tonight

#celebrated international children's day with my high school english teacher #yes we have been friends for almost 10 years. since i was in 9th grade #yes he is 19 years older than me #talked about the old friend group which consisted about like three of us high school girls and a bunch of college guys who were all at least #4 or 5 years older than us. yes every guy crushed on the same girl at one point. i was in a relationship with the oldest of them #one of them who was tangentially in the group now has psychiatric problems. i don't know the specifics. he was to get married to this random #ass girl who got pregnant at 22/23 by another guy #idk who exactly but suffice to say they are not together anymore #we discussed my cancer situation. my ex (who apparently will love me forever) was crying a lot about it and seemed shaken up #even at their little guys christmas reunion last year #he texted me in december saying a part of me lives and will always live inside of him and that he loves me no matter what #i was honestly at a complete loss for words because we broke up 5 years ago. we literally had no future together #one of the other guys apparently said back in december that it was no use texting me encouraging words because we had drifted apart #that is the same guy i crushed on for 6 years. i still wished him a happy birthday in april tho. #it's okay because my crush on him vanished as soon as i realized he's a little piece of shit human. still likeable tho #and that is the issue. anyway. maybe i shouldn't have said piece of shit he's more like an annoying asshole which you still find endearing #talking to him now makes me realize he was never all that. high school me just thought he did really interesting things (which admittedly #were very interesting for that time and for our little town) #about my ex tho #even though i have no feelings for him anymore i think it's really beautiful that what we had is staying with him like that. i hope #it doesn't stop him from having a healthy and loving relationship in the future #i know he had multiple relationships after me but none of them really worked out. i really hope he finds that happiness #the way that i have

[savingthrcw]

points for my Steph:

[and listen, take this with a grain of salt because it might get deleted if someone confirms that Steph was also a Bud's Bud, but since the show doesn't say it, and the wiki is written by fans who are assuming it, I can feel for now it's safe to say that my version could also be a possibility: just like Janey, she was part of the Bud's Bud family and not an executive assistant herself]

one of the rare cases of 'full family in cryo', her mother is the one in charge and is a very sweet mom to her. Awoken at 9, family moves to 33 after the "famine" that kills so many people and Rose. Which makes her 28 now.

she's taught that those poor 32s and 33s can't know the truth about who 31s are because THEY (31 people) have to guide them, and tell them what's best for them, those naive sweethearts would not understand how dangerous life can be, so Steph knows she's there to guide and protect (and look at their reactions to the raiders attack! they do need help!)

she's told that China dropped the bombs, obviously. Why tell a kid anything else? They are there to save the future after all.

she sees Lucy as a rare exception who happens to have a good mind of her own, because she's the daughter of a 31 and clearly very bright, different from the 'let's reform the raiders!' type of 33s she knows, and she genuinely loves her. she feels a kinship with Norm because he also feels like a different specie from the rest of the Vault.

she asks for an inter-vault marriage to do her part, didn't expect to fall for Bert but she kinda does??

Chet is not someone she sees as a real person at this time, just a precious 33 to guide and use

She poisons the raiders; with Beth she discusses how they are too much of a danger and a waste of resources, but it's really revenge

no reason to tell her about Shady Sands, as far as she knows there was a famine before they woke up

she trains a lot because she knows there are people outside, survives the wedding for this very reason

to allow interaction: her baby (Bertha? lmao) is taken from her after they open the Vault to look for a water chip, which is a bit of a sole survivor situation there, and she asks her parents and Beth to warn whatever still existing Vault Tec is out there to keep their eyes open but SHE'S GOING OUT.

her ability to feel emotions and to relate to other people is greatly stunted by the situation and she will keep on poisoning and murdering to get her baby, even when innocents may get involved. She's not hurting Lucy unless Lucy is trying to kill her.

this is in part to give her a chance to interact with people AND not get her immediately murdered

#about steph; #muse: steph #there are a LOT of assumptions from fans in the wiki like the fact that Hank bombed Shady Sands in the early 80s #meanwhile if we have ONE date in the show it's that it was bombed in 2277 #exactly 200 years after the great war and 19 years ago which is also why I think Lucy is closer to the actress age than early 20s #because no way she was 3-4 in that flashback. I think I'd have forgotten a couple of days outside even in my 6-7s honestly #if everybody told me it didn't happen and I had to deal with my mom's death right after. 6-7s is still an age of forgetting little things

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[transgaysex]

hey, i saw your post about frustrations with family and i hope this isn't weird/unwanted, and you dont need to answer this or anything, but i just wanted to say that i really resonated with it as someone who has to constantly be the glue in my fam as the eldest sibling with the expectations that i understand both "sides" between my parents and siblings enough to mediate. youre not alone in how you feel and i am sincerelywishing the best for you!!!

this isnt unwanted or weird at all !!! its a bit comforting knowing im not alone in it and i really appreciate the sentiment actually 🥺 im wishing the very best for you as well chief !!!

#breezy replies #im not even the eldest but my older sister moved out like 2 years ago and since then ive been acting as eldest at home 😭 #its truly a world of frustration. my parents think that they can tell me to tell my sibling anything they want and theyll listen bc its Me #when like. sure thats part of the reason but part of it is that i respect them as a Person and not My Creation That Should Bend To My Will #on the other hand my parents have gotten better over the years and my sibling Refuses to see the improvement because- #it invalidates how unproportionately cruel theyll treat others around them. its truly a sticky and honest to goodness situation to be in #and neither side like. asks anything about me yknow. hows my day been ? do i feel well ? whats been up with my friends lately ? #i have to play social worker and im not even doing it for either sides. im doig it because i want my baby sister to grow up- #in a more stable environment and household than ive ever been in. which again is something my sibling doesnt get #because theyre still in that immature and stupid mindset that 'everyone in my situation should suffer as i have' #and maybe id understand if they were still like a kid but theyre almost 19 and frankly ive had it up to here !!! #SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO RAMBLE ON I JUST. HAVE A LOT OF IT BUILT UP LIKE CRAZY i feel like a pressure cooker 😭😭😭 #heres hoping it gets better for the both of us pal 😭 good luck to u !!!