#which means there are still things to work thru. which we talked about again. but! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

systemadministratorclu · 5 months

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Y'all, I just HAD to share this, because holy shit.

A little background first:

I run the drive-thru cash register window at a fast food joint. One of the shittiest jobs there is because some of the rudest/stupidest people on the planet come through the drive-thru, and one must have near superhuman patience to deal with it. That said, there are customers who come regularly and are not hard to deal with at all. And then there are some-very few and far between-that restore your faith in humanity a little every time they come.

This is about one such customer.

This guy comes every day at about the same time with his grandson (6 years old when this started, recently turned 7) and gets the exact same thing every time. To the point where now either I see their car or I hear the guy say his name (whichever happens first) and I'm already ringing them up. Because of this, the kid now thinks I have weirdly specific psychic powers, and has said he prefers coming to the place when I'm there. He's also decided I'm the best employee this place has. The granddad talks to me like I'm a human, they're always smiling and happy to see me (which means a lot in this line of work, let me tell you) and even on my shittiest days, they've managed to make me smile. I genuinely look forward to seeing these people every day.

Recently, grandson was hella excited to tell me he had a birthday coming up. Reminded me every day "my birthday's coming!" as most 6yo kids do.

Maybe I was feeling a little holiday spirit or something, but one day after work, I went to the Dollar Tree near the restaurant. I picked out a kid's birthday card and a Christmas card. I wrote a message in the Christmas one about what I just explained above, thanking them for bringing some joy to my days, because y'know what? People need to hear that shit. Especially in today's world. And I wanted them to know how much this meant to me. I wrote a little joke in the birthday card about not forgetting the day. Then I looked in my wallet, saw I had a $10 and a $1, and stuck the $10 in the birthday card. Addressed the birthday card to the kid and the Christmas one to kid and grandpa. I give the cards to them on their normal drive-thru visit. They are of course surprised (kid starts yelling "thank you" even though he hasn't gotten to open it yet) but thankful. Then the line moves on.

Fast forward to today.

I see the car come in but I don't start ringing the order up, because it's WAY early for them. I give my usual greeting, then I hear a woman's voice, so I think it's someone in the same kind of car. But when she asks "is this Hal?" I then realize it's the kid's mother, whom he has told all about me and who has come through with him before.

I say yes, and she tells me she's not here to order anything, just to see me, since kid and granddad are sick. I tell her to come on to the window, she does, and hands me a card and a nicely wrapped gift. I asked her to tell them hi for me, she said she would and then the line moved.

I got off on lunch break and opened card and gift.

I was not prepared. At all.

This is the gift...

...the card (no writing on the front).....

.....and the typed note inside the card that actually brought tears to my eyes.

......I'm still not over this. I will be thinking about how this went on for OVER HALF A FUCKING YEAR and I had no idea.

This is the kind of stuff that makes this shitty job worth it. People like this....We need more of in this world. I'm going to hold onto that note so when I feel like shit or I don't matter, I can look at it and know there's a kid out there who I am so important to that he got his dad to write a whole-ass letter, to some random stranger he only knows through his son, inviting me to their fucking house. I'm tearing up again as I write this, just thinking about it.

If that doesn't say "you matter", idk what does.

(And yes, I will go at some point, because how can I not? I'm not gonna dash this kid's hopes and make myself look like an enormous asshole. This is the RL version of being handed a toy phone and told it's ringing)

#I'm crying and so are you.#ooc

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misfithive · 8 months

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Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)

#misfit answers asks #young royals #this is not targeted at the first anon i just see it a lot and have a lot to say on the topic #simon eriksson

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basslinegrave · 2 months

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i was being a completely sane person today (/s) and was creating a timeline tree for snm would anyone even be interested in that. and collecting my shipping thoughts (or specifics about them being a couple etc). know that i still consider my knowledge of the franchise as poor. its just tidying it up in my head so when i talk about something i can pinpoint a specific thing (i was too deep in fnaf theorizing so now i have to suffer thru a franchise that doesnt even have a canon)

in short/tldr the comics are the base that happened in every possible timeline and everything else is derived from that, happening after, except the cartoon, which shows some events the same way so that would be more intertwined; not everything is connected/within one timeline. and the cartoon is my most fav and where i see them as a true couple.

long rant ahead

on one hand i really like the time travel theory where its like comics -> ttg -> cartoon etc by them travelling back in time for that, however there are many holes especially thinking about their families and stuff so

i like the idea of things branching off. one branch is comics - htr - cartoon, as something more intertwined

second is comics -> ttg -> poker night 2 (since it references ttg events) (idk bout 1 i havent played/seen that)

third would be comics -> ttiv (or comics -> htr -> ttiv, i have no idea atm if bosco's is mentioned in the comics but it is in htr and mentioned in ttiv. ttiv is also set in the year it came out, so theres a huge gap inbetween ttiv and htr but i wouldnt say its where the ttg games happened!)

and i dont mean this in like a multiverse way, since the creator seems to dislike that, its simply just a very loose canon that differs with each installment (simply due to different people working on these imo. nothing too deep imo)

but the juicy part!! i even made brackets that im too lazy to remake digitally so i will just write it out for each bigger installment. im excluding poker night 1 as i havent played it nor watched much gameplay

M = married, BF = best friends (in all technically)

comics: M - unlikely; BF - yes absolutely

htr: M - possible; BF - yes

cartoons: M - i take it as canon here. BF - yes million percent

ttg all seasons: M - no; BF - yes.

poker night 2: M - not sure, implied dating, i take that as good enough; BF - yes

ttiv: M - absolutely not. not a couple at all. BF - they seem too tense, yes, but from my experience playing, their interactions were imo the worst in all of their media, so i wasnt buying it at some points

note - ttiv has to be like the straightest they ever were and i also see it in S.P.'s more recent work. im looking too deep into that, perhaps, but im just thinking were never gonna get anything similar to what we got from back in the 90s again, if theres any future projects

people are also saying they got married like 4 times and its making me a bit confused here. do people mean cartoon, htr dress up card, cake topper and tdph ring scene or am i missing something big?? because to me that is married once, other ones being just for jokes (first one as well but its less vague), and in the ttg games its so extremely vague i cant count that (being realistic here) that said its still fun to joke about them getting married several times, but in this case wouldnt it be more of a marriage per timeline?

and to end this, a personal tierlist

my most fave obviously is the cartoon. not only is it the easiest to work with for me, with the fast pacing and short watch time (but ofc i wish it was longer) i absolutely love how their relationship is depicted there, even if a lot of stuff there is just jokes, but if everything is a joke then its also fine to take everything as canon within this media, to me! like when haters say that people only take the wedding scene out of the intro and ignore the rest - as if the other stuff couldnt happen (isnt one of the shots them fighting a giant octopus, which they end up having an episode about too. like cmon. anything goes here) even if it was contained within this specific part of the franchise, im ok with calling them a couple here. and its S tier overall

another S tier is the comics. nothing else to say

HTR is like A tier to me, only taking off points because its soooo sloooowwww and playing it after watching the series took 3 years off my life immediately. otherwise gud game.

ttg is like A to B tier for me, because of some specifics and preferences but thats just me being nitpicky so, the games overall are good. A- it is. thats all

poker night 2 is fun, i watch the gameplay a lot lately when im too tired at midnight to do anything else, A tier

ttiv. oh how mixed i am about you. gameplay by itself and my first experience with the game - S tier. it made me so giddy more than one time and i kept wanting to come back until i finished the game fully. i dont mind the bugs, its just what i expect in VR games and even tho it made me a bit frustrated at times it wasnt all that bad. its also the only vr game i played for over an hour once and didnt get motion sick - the exception was the level at the store which seemed too bright and actually made me nauseous. which is a feeling that somehow comes back whenever i think about this game. what i dislike was the dialogue, while most of it was fun and fine, i had moments where i just burst out laughing, they (or max especially) were way too mean towards the player. i know its a joke and you could chalk it up to max being unhappy with us/jealous, but it got like, generally unpleasant very quickly. with stuff like good throw - "nice!" bad throw - *neverending insults* and the second was how painfully straight it was and like. the vibes i got from them two was like, oh theyre fed up with each other and my shipping self was just left quite disappointed. i did not get all lines during my gameplay which made it great but upon going thru every line manually after, i was just more and more uncomfortable with what they said in their banter. this drops the game to like C for me? maybe B if i squint. being generous. i also got sick of their talking animations over time... the models are fine just got to be too much. bonus points for max ragdoll physics tho. coming up with a conclusion that this is a completely separate timeline and has nothing to do with anything other than the comics and perhaps HTR. i talked so long about this one cause its the one thing that prompted all of this lol.

but its not that serious! i just knew this franchise for ages as "oh its the two animal guys that are married and its funny" and now that i got into it fully, i see a lot of the shippers are obviously daydreaming and taking things out of context - which is fun, i agree!! i also do that. but it just painted a completely different picture for me. so no. theyre not married, theyre not a couple, except for the cartoon, where its implied, which stays on top for me. but in ttg at least, they love each other, its not as romantic, but i can ship them there (so i ship them in the context of the cartoon and ttg basically)

anyway. nothing is canon for them, everything is canon for them, and everything they say or do is a joke so. its not that deep at all. they gay tho

#insane ramblings #i will tag this #sam and max #for the 2 people that will read this 🫶#thoughts are being thunk #long post #i just went on an unplanned rant here #i was home alone today and spent most of my day thinking about ttiv and how much i hate it and love it and hate it #one could even say its textbook queerbait but since its a separate game i cannot say it #but going from showing them getting married to 20 years later sam dating random women its like. uhh idont like that #obviously #i hc him as bi or pan so its fine its just so lame. like who are they? you know. random off screen characters that mean nothing to me #and max being jealous of the player being there but allowing sam to date is so lol. i havent found the line about the other woman yet #but ive had the lines open for way too many times and i dread going through them further. but i might bite the bullet i just want context #wonder if one of them is that one afghan hound (?) from that one valentines art #when the characters get ooc in official media /j

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bonesandthebees · 3 days

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im alive (questionable) and im finally back (real) and gods does it feel great to finally read the new rose chapter

I did NOT realise just how MUCH I missed it but DAMN

the crimeboys bonding is going great and theyre doing good in their surviving, im so proud of them

poor phil has to deal with the one thing he cannot control and so he ofc focuses on what he can control, control freak

im enjoying reading about him A LOT, hes so intriguing to me, like yeah so far hes a good character id say, but we get a peak at what he could be capable of and are slowly learning where his priorities and loyalties and limits lie and oh gosh is it fun to watch

and ofc THE BIG MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER: friendly nicknames privileges

and like its a really important and sweet moment in itself and ive been excited for it ever since learning there will be different official names like nikanna and willum and oh did it NOT DISAPPOINT like yesssssss letsgo they are FRIENDS and they let the other call them by their NICKNAMES and it shows how much CLOSER to got and the TRUST and just AHSHSHJSDHBSBSHS YESSSSSSS

and it gets even BETTER bc thats not all, this is a recurring theme with you, whether its a fae name that carries power, a mermaid name that signals family like in last years mermay, knowing a name that reveals the secret identity in superhero aus coming with trust but also responsibility, official and personal names of royals like rose and stars showing friendship or in the other way loss of it, and in glass the reclaiming of self identity thru the reclaiming of name and letting go of a title (which btw the coolest and most genius work with narration ive ever read) you just keep on giving names value in your stories and especially the act of sharing them, the one close to you, with others as a sign of love, even just a little bit and it gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and the fact its a recurring theme gives it even more meaning, makes it get to me even more

and like its something that happens even in real life in some ways but we often overlook just how much love is hidden in it and I love that it gets to shine like this in your stories

I know we talked about your love for giving names more meaning like this before but I just needed to scream about it again bc IT STILL GETS TO ME

it feels so good to have you back in my inbox (and my ao3 comments) with walls of text like this jiksvokrat

they're doing shockingly well!! shoutout to tommy's survival knowledge wilbur would've been dead by morning without him

I'm so glad you're enjoying the phil pov. I love showing his control issues and how his mind works. he's such a calculating character and I have so much fun writing him

I'm so glad you like my recurring thing with names. I really don't know where it came from, I never had this whole thing with names before I started writing mcyt fic. I think I just really liked it both when I wrote that first fae au fic so many years ago and then when I was writing clinic and there was obviously the whole secret identity thing going on that I just realized I liked the theme and decided to use it where I could.

I just think the act of sharing your name, your identity with someone else can be so vulnerable and full of trust!! I guess this translates to every day stuff as well. like when one of my childhood friends came out as trans to me I felt so happy when she trusted me with her new name and identity (I was one of the first people she came out to). or as a less intense example, part of why I like having an online nickname is that it feels strangely nice to have a name that you guys here can use that's me but also a bit separate from me, but then I have my real name which is reserved for the people I'm closest to (though of course most of my internet friends who know my real name still use bee for me which I don't mind at all). I guess it's kind of like having a public persona vs a private persona. idk, I guess I just really feel the importance of names so I like including it as a theme in my writing.

I'm just very glad you guys aren't getting sick of the whole name giving thing yet lol

#ask #jiksvokrat #rose ch 8

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teecupangel · 11 months

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As I near the end of Syndicate, I am reminded about our exchange about Starrick. So here goes: Desmond is not... As "lucky" as he usually is in our post-Temple scenarios. Instead of waking up somewhere discreet, he is thrown, unconscious, somewhere where Lucy Thorne takes notice. And so, Desmond is brought to Starrick's attention. When he wakes up, he is in a nice bed, in refined looking manor. And so begins Starrick's play at being the good guy 1/2

2/2 Desmond is taken care of. His Hidden Blade is not taken away - on the contrary, when he asks about the things that were found with him, Desmond is given them all back. He gets some good medical care. The manor servants are complimentary about their boss. And then - when Desmond eventually starts snooping and venturing out... The information he has waved his way about the Rooks is not complimentary. And so... He slowly starts leaning to Starrick's opinions.

Okay, okay, this works sooo well with our previous idea of how easy would it be for Desmond to be a Templar but before we continue: this is not meant to be Frye twin-bashing. This is more on the side of "when looked from the outside without any ideas of who the Frye twins are and what they're going thru, it's really easy to paint them in a very bad light" and we're going to make use of that.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it is soooo easy for Starrick to pit Desmond against the Frye twins, especially if we set this after Jacob assassinates Twopenny which later led to inflation and riots.

Maybe Desmond even sees Starrick talking about how he raised the salary of his employees and how he would have supported all of London if he could (again, let’s remember that in canon, Starrick said this to Brudenell alone without any audience presence so this isn’t Starrick trying to get into Desmond’s good sides even if he knew Desmond was snooping around, this is Starrick being Starrick). Without the proper context that Desmond wouldn’t exactly have at the moment, Starrick and Brudenell’s conversation (including Starrick threatening to castrate Brudenell) could be taken as a powerful man chained by politics and selfish politicians.

I mean…

Just read the transcript and see how easy it is for Starrick to pain the Disraeli and even Brudenell in a bad light:

Cardigan: The currency a laughing stock. Inflation out of control! Twopenny brutally murdered! Starrick: And yet, Parliament does nothing! Cardigan: The bill will be defeated, sir. That buffoon Disraeli shall be taken care of. It has been arranged, upon my honor. Starrick: Your honor carries little weight. Cardigan: How dare you, sir?! Starrick: The poor people of this city have suffered enough. Today, I granted a significant rise to my staff in order to counter inflation. Cardigan: What? Starrick: I would supply all of London if I could. Starrick: Meanwhile, you sit in your club and wax poetic with promises your honor cannot pay. Your family's fortune, however... I wonder what they would offer to keep your record out of the newspapers. About the same as Disraeli would offer for your balls, I'd wager. But let's be generous. Why limit ourselves to one or the other, when we can have it all? What say you, sir, shall I come collect? Starrick: No more dallying. The halls of Parliament must be free to govern, again! Understood? You may see yourself out.

And Starrick would be polite to him, wouldn’t pry him of his past. Even Lucy Thorne would be polite (when she was still alive), most probably ordered to.

And then Starrick would ask the question all of the Templars had been curious about.

“Are you, perhaps, a member of House Kenway, Desmond?”

And that’s how Desmond would find out that Starrick and the others thought he was perhaps a descendant of Haytham Kenway or maybe even Jennifer Scott.

“And what if I am?” Desmond asked back, wondering if they would talk about how Ratonhnhaké:ton and his descendants were Assassins.

“We owe a lot to the Kenway family.” Starrick explained calmly, “Even if you…”

Starrick glanced at Desmond’s left arm… no… he had glanced at Desmond’s hidden blade.

“… you do not hold the same ideology as we do, we will still give you the respect a member of House Kenway deserves.”

Desmond watched as Starrick placed a key on the table between them, “This is the only copy we have of the Kenway manor. It is only right that it is returned to a member of the family, wouldn’t you agree?”

Desmond kept his attention on Starrick as he took the key. Starrick sighed as he added, “It is my duty to inform you that it has been… well… it’s not in its best condition right now.”

“A few intruders did not have any manners.” Starrick said vaguely, “And left quite… a trail.”

And what trail did Desmond find in the Kenway mansion?

The trails left by Evie and Jayadeep.

And you might be thinking “What about Lucy Thorne and her goons?”

Well…

It was a stealth mission which meant that there was a high possibility that Evie and Jayadeep kept the body count to a minimum and we have a cutscene confirmation that some of them were wearing Blighters outfit. (although the ones you see in the manor itself had Templar armbands and those are the ones Evie can take down)

… So… what’s to say that Desmond’s tracking wouldn’t lead to a few ex-Blighters now wearing the coat of a Rook?

Jacob’s Rooks do have ex-Blighters in their ranks so it’s possible that some of the Blighters in that cutscene became Rooks later on.

And then…

He is told by one of Starrick’s men how the Assassin Jacob Frye joined the crime boss Maxwell Roth in burning down warehouses that had children inside.

And Desmond realized…

The Assassins here in London must be stopped.

#i wouldn’t say desmond is a templar in this one #more like…#a rogue assassin hunter?#like if shay remained an assassin while hunting his fellow asssassins and having an amicable relationship with the templars without joining #i guess #ask and answer #ngl starrick is one of my most favorite templars #he’s just a fun character for me #assassin's creed #desmond miles #crawford starrick #do i want to tag the frye twins?#naaaahhh #just to be safe #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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creativeafterdark · 8 months

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Chapter 9 and 10

Heyo folks taking a @journeythroughjourneytothewest

Had to take a break from book club last week, burn out was very bad. But I've had a week to relax, celebrated my birthday and slept most of the day lol. Let's get back into Journey to the West

First: Chapter 9.

We finally meet our Monk and learn the story of his family!

We don't spend a lot of time learning about them (minus his Dad, gets a thumbs up from me. Kind to all and easy going enough to be like "I got hit by a ball-- oh I'm married now? Okay cool". Like talk about a shotgun wedding), but we do see little bits that remind me of our Monk. He does share his kindness with his Dad, and I genuinely think his anxiety is from his mom. I'll talk about her in a minute because she is a whole other thing.

My one question is... wouldn't other officials notice that Liu Hong, essentially becoming Chen E, had no idea what he was doing??? He went on business trips, did no one recognize he wasn't who he said he was????? I mean you would think anyone who took the exams with him who got positions would be like "uh... that's not him tf??". Or they just did not care. Who knows at this point. Apparently he had Six Eared Macaque level disguise skill, rolled a nat 20 in bullshitery.

Now. Lady Yin. The poor lady went through hell for over 18 years. She had to watch her husband get murdered, had to abandon her baby, and had to play wife to a murderer. Even when her husband came back... I'm not surprised she still ended up passing. That's a lot of guilt (and I'm sure Liu Hong was not kind to her) on her mind for a LONG period of time, nearly two decades. I wish there was a happy ending for the family but I get why it ended how it did, knowing what depression and anxiety can do to people.

Now our baby Monk. Our Xuanzang. I am so proud of him for being as brave as he was. This recently turned 18 year old did everything he could to help his family. Licking his grandma's eyeballs was...a choice. But it was for a good cause so good on him. I can see why he was a good choice as the Scroll Pilgrim.

And as promised, a sketch of Xuanzang

And as a bonus baby Monk with a doggo

But now we move to Chapter 10.

...I legit got annoyed going thru the debate between the fisherman and woodman. Like it went on far longer than it should have. I'm sure there was a profound moment that we're supposed to glean from it but I just wasn't receptive to it. Maybe I'll read it again.

Anyway.

I have been doing some looking into of Chinese historical heroes (I desperately want to read Romance of the three kingdoms, and I need more reading material about folk heroes and heroines) so seeing some references to the stuff I learned made me happy. There was mention of Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang and the painting of The Emporer's Generals on the doors (supposedly the Tang dynasty is where this practice was first used. A few three kingdom folks also get this treatment as door gods, or menshen, along with other important heroes and deities. Makes me wonder if the Emperor essentially deified his Generals and Wei Zheng. How does Heaven handle that?)

Fun fact! In my jttw x mythology story Wukong will work with Asena, mythical wolf mother of the Ashina Clan of Gokturks. Guess which dynasty of China had to deal with them a lot? :)

Anyway.

I've also come to the conclusion that Dragons just like to fuck around and find out. Like, the Dragon King just goes against heaven's orders to spite a very accurate fortune teller, does not even THINK of the consequences, and is surprised Pikachu face when he gets in trouble. Also not sure why he thought appealing to an earthly emporer would save him from THE SUPREME DAOIST DEITY'S JUDGMENT. Like, y'all, I'm beginning to think dragons just don't give a crap or just don't think. Got what he deserved for being dumb. Did the emporer make promises he shouldn't have? No doubt, you don't promise supernatural beings anything because it will make you want to die if they catch wind of you breaking promises, regardless of nationality. Did he deserve what he got? .... I mean historically probably but in the sense of this story, no.

I find the Tang dynasty interesting (because it gave us a certain Empress and had some fun female warriors, like Taizong's sister, who helped her father found the dynasty) and I can definitely thank jttw for getting my attention about it.

I think that's all I have as far as thoughts. And I apologize if my rambles just jumped around too much lol.

Over and out ✌️

#journey to the west #jttw book club #jttw tang sanzang #jttw Xuanzang #xuanzang #slight mention of #jttw x mythology #the more you know

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hexcryingwolf · 7 months

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to give some context to some previous posts it turned out someone in my private friend server had been leaking directly to glip that i was venting about them. which was precisely something i was terrified would happen and it really sucks cuz i recently made amends with this person (had a falling out over flora stuff, not this incident exactly) only to find this out and. i mean we talked about it, i tried to let it go. but its still really bothering me.

because the way they told it - peppering shit i was doing with random lies and leaving out details like I Wasnt Using Anyone's Names Around People Not In The Know - thats where a lot of the bullshit about me came from. the "she has no idea what reality is" thing. that thing that torments me still for some fucking reason i hate it. it made this whole narrative of me clinging to flora when what i was trying to do was work thru shit, by doing things like Allowing Myself To Be Angry but. fuuuck its so upsetting that it had to get back to them.

"im not your problem anymore" was something id said to glip the first time i tried to cut off cold turkey. didnt really work out cuz they made the callout comic about me so that sucks. then i have the meeting with my therapist with the letter and it looks like i can get away for real but nope cuz someone i trusted betrayed me. and they had been pushing back against me trying to process shit in my space to a painful degree at the time. to know now that they were also in contact with my abuser is awful and. like i dont wanna end the friendship again after having just fixed it but. i dont know what to do.

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autogyne-redacted · 1 year

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@loving-n0t-heyting hope you don't mind a bit of a longpost. I was gonna reblog one of your posts but this became A Whole Thing and I just decided to let it be its own post.

I've been thinking since you posted about it a little while back, and I do think (as an abolitionist) that the classic sources like Are Prisons Obsolete do stop short of making the case that no form of incarceration ever makes sense in any circumstance.

I think they make compelling cases that prisons cause more harm than they prevent. And I think there's a ton we can say about the limitations of viewing some ppl as just inherently Bad/Dangerous (or of acting like the majority of ppl incarcerated are in any way exceptionally "dangerous").

But I have the impression you're probably on board with at least most of that, and that's different from actually making the argument you're asking for.

///

At the end of the day, there are and will continue to be situations people who have crossed lines and caused major harm and made clear that they would or likely would do so again if given the liberty to do so.

And I don't feel the need to shy away from talking about that just because it gets messy.

And so our options are:

-refuse to infringe on their liberty.

-kill them.

-or in some lesser way limit their liberty.

And while I wouldn't want to totally write off options 1 and 2, I think it would be foolish to hardline and refuse to consider options in category 3 as part of what ideal solutions might look like.

As for what that looks like, I think it varies a ton depending on what context we're talking about and what kind of individual / situation we're talking about.And I think fundamentally in any context I'd advocate for a more case by case approach, which unfortunately means my answer is still somewhat vague (tho if you want to propose specific hypotheticals or talk about specific historic court cases I'm open to that).

But my general principles are:

-try and find a solution that minimizes the risk of them cashing more major harm in the future while not infringing on the their liberty more than necessary.

-reject punishment for the sake of punishment, or for the gratification of the victim.

Prison is a one size fits all solution and a fairly comprehensive denial of someone's liberty and I would (thinking about solutions that could be implemented without changing more than the criminal justice system)* advocate asking lots of separate questions:

-can the person in question continue to live at their home? If no, why not?

-can they continue to work a (non-prison) job. Or hell, work a bit al remote job from inside a prison?

-can they attend specific events / otherwise go to specific places they want to?

-can they keep their possessions?

Etc.

Requiring that any reduction in freedom be actively justified.

A lot of the logics that justify prisons act as if some ppl are Inherently Dangerous and the only way to mitigate that is total separation between them and law abiding citizens because if they were allowed to walk thru a grocery store or go to a football game they'd manage to kill someone. And it's like ... that's 100% media super villain logic and not a real threat model.

Generally the capacity to cause major harm is dependent on specific things (having a weapon, having an established relationship, an institutional hierarchy, an isolated space, etc).

And none of this says that we could never decide that the best course is for someone to be confined to a specific location or otherwise be under close supervision long term. But I think there's a real paradigm break we can make from that being the default to something that has to be justified piece by piece, case by case.

Also, I'm gonna include this link as the only specific historic anarchist examples I know of:

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/augustin-souchy-with-the-peasants-of-aragon#toc7

Is it abolitionist? Is it trustworthy source? I think lots of ppl would say no to both, but it paints a specific kind of picture that seems like the result of ppl using similar principles to mine. And like, how do you handle a large group of fascist soldiers seems like one of the harder challenges you could pose to prison abolitionism (tho tbf my understanding is lots of them were drafted and actual ideological commitment wasn't super high)

*this is a weird thought experiment for me to do because my relationship to the prison system as it exists is so fundamentally one of antagonism and I see the kinds of cases where I would see ~ongoing control or supervision~ as justified as so limited, but they're not non existent and I hate seeing abolitionists in your threads just refuse this conversation so I'm trying.

#long post #prison abolition #ok bedtime now

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faghubby · 2 years

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Slut wife

My husband Tom was never well endowed at a little under 5 inches. But also quit thin erect he was no thicker then a roll of nickels. He was willing to extend foreplay and always tried to make me cum. But after the birth of our daughter. That changed. No matter what he did I felt no pleasure from him except from his tounge. I tried to do Kegal exercises and other things but nothing worked. I found myself sneaking into the bathroom after he fell asleep to masterbate.

Now Tom was a great husband a good provider and would always be a fantastic father to out daughter. But as a lover he failed. For months I endured. I would try different positions. I even asked if he would like to try anal. But he wasn't interested saying it was gross. I wasn't looking to have an affair. But it just kinda happened one day. I was driving home. It was pouring down rain and I got a flat tire. To my luck there was a garage half a block away. I ran down the street and this gorgeous 30 something man opens the door letting me run in. I hand him my keys and explain pointing at my car. He went and got it. When he came back he started to tell me that I needed a tire. He was staring at me. I looked down to notice I often didn't wear a bra, not having big breast. That you could see thru my soaking wet dress as if I wasn't wearing anything at all. I turned red and he handed me a towel.

"I will fix it right up" he fumbled and went back into the garage. I basically wrapped the towel around me not doing much. If I covered my breast you could clearly see my thong well one or the other. I called Tom and told him. He would have to pick up Bethany our daughter from his mother's. Mark had the tire fixed in no time. Mark tried not to stare still able to see thru my dress as I paid the bill.

"Thank you so much, and sorry" I motioned for basically flashing him.

"Nonsense you are welcome back anytime it rains" he joked.

"And if it's not?" I asked. He stepped close to me taking the towel.

"I am sorry I didn't mean" I wanted him to throw me down and take me "I am married" I told him barely able to breath. As he bent and kissed me. I kissed him back and started to tear off his shirt. He looked around then opened the back of my suv and laid me down. His dirty pants fell around his ankles along with his boxers. He pushed his cock. Yes cock a real strong hard cock. Into me. I was so wet he slid right in. My legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked me. He didn't make love or even have sex this man FUCKED me. I screamed as he made me cum. He wasn't Done he pulled me out of the car and bent me over the bumper like I was a doll and drive his cock back into me. He had not even taken my thong off just pulled to the side. I came again as he came deep inside me. I fixed my dress just as another costumer pulled in. Anyone could have watched us from the road I thought. Which excited me even more. As he talked the other customer I didn't wait I just drove away.

I still managed to get home before Tom. I used the bathroom and as cum leaked from me I fantasied about the mechanic and started to masterbate. I had my vibrator buried deep inside me my panties on the floor and dress hiked up. I had not heard Tom. Till he opened the bathroom door. He just stood and watched.

I came loudly all over my toy. Pushing the mechanics cum out as Tom watched I pushed toy into my ass. And moaned. Tom had is dick out and jerked off with two fingers. As he came it didn't even shoot instead fell onto his shoe. I went to check on the baby. When I came back Tom was washing my toy.

Tom seemed distant the rest of the night. When we where getting ready for bed Tom asked.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"What?" I asked not sure I had heard him.

"How long have you been having an affair?" He said facing me.

"It happened today. Just today the guy who fixed the tire" I sighed relieved to tell him.

"It just happened, I " I stopped and looked up at him.

"I am sorry but I swear I have been faithful but today I just gave in to desire" I told him. I grabbed my pillow and went to sleep in the guest room.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I guess to the spare room" I told him. Was he going to leave me.

"Don't be silly, come here" he patted the bed.

"I believe you, and I understand" he told me. "I know we have been struggling to ........ in bed since Bethany was born. Maybe this is what we need" he told me.

"I don't understand" I told him.

"Would you like to see him again? Or maybe someone else?" He asked. I was even more confused. He clasped my hands.

"I want you to find a lover" he told me. "Or several" he added.

"Tom, we can work past this" I told him.

"Liz, I am asking you to find a lover to please you. I will always be your husband" he tried to explain

"You want me to cheat on you?" I asked

"Not cheat, with my blessing." He told me. "I know I am not very big. And now i can't even" he didn't finish just held me.

"Yes find a man to please you however you need" he told me. He was rock hard I noticed thru his thin boxers.

"This gets you excited?" I asked he just nodded. I laid back he kissed my breast.

"Tell me about him" Tom said.

"Like what?" I asked as he kissed my neck.

"Is he big? Did you cum? Where, what position?" He blurted out.

"In the back of the suv, he had me on my back then doggie style" I told him he got even more excited.

"Are you going to cum? " I asked he dick still in his boxers. He just moaned " Yes he made me cum twice" I told him and he came in his boxers. He kissed me and got up to change.

"Tom, you really want this don't you?" I asked.

"Yes" he said as he wiped up his cum. Then came back to bed.

"After you want me to tell you about it?" I teased. "Maybe some video?"

" he snuggled against me, " yes" he moaned. And fell asleep. I couldn't sleep so I turned to the internet. And found alot of men have this type of fantasy. Cuckolds, Hotwives, the more I read the more questions I had. But they could wait.

In the morning I asked Tom again.

"Last night what we talked about?" I smiled

"Yes" he replied

"Still feel the same way?" I asked

"Very much so, why don't you go see him today I will watch Bethany." He stated. He went and got the baby. I found the receipt and called the repair shop.

"Hello this is Mark" he answered

"Yes, my name is liz I was in yesterday and you um fixed Me" I laughed

He laughed. "Of course"

"I was wondering if I could get that service again" I said

"Why don't you meet me for coffee, in an hour" he told me.

"Ok" he mentioned the coffee house near his shop. I hung up showered and got ready. I rushed and didn't say anything to Tom till I was walking out the door.

"Be back later, going to get fucked" I teased him. He just kissed me goodbye. Mark was waiting for me. I walked straight up and kissed him.

"I don't want coffee" I told him he took me outside. And we went above the coffee shop. To his apartment. Once inside he was all over me.

"Fuck me" I moaned as he peeled off my panties.

His rough hands sliding over my body. He bent me over his couch. And drove his cock balls deep. And didn't stop until he filled me with his seed. He pulled our and I spun and dropped to my knees taking him in my mouth. He grew hard as I tasted my dirty cunt on his cock. He sat in a chair and let me mount him. I rode him fast. As an orgam ripped through me. I stopped just sat with him inside me. He kissed and sucked my breast hard. Biting them even. He scooped up some of his cum that was leaking from me and pushed it into my mouth.

"Taste your cheating pussy" he told me then lifted me off had me drop back to the floor. He grabbed my hair and fucked my face. As I gagged and spit all over his cock. Until he fed me his second load. I fell back on the floor. He got dressed. I was still naked as he had me stand in front of him.

"Can I see you again?" I asked him.

"Of course" he replied

"Have you ever been spanked?" He asked me taking off his belt. I swallowed hard.

"no" I whispered.

"Spoiled rich girls need it you know the belt slid across my thigh. I shook with excitement.

"When you come back I want a plug in your ass" he told me. Then one swat with his belt across my ass. I jumped and he let me get dressed. I stopped at the adult book store before going home. I found a trainer set of butt plugs. And bought them along with lube. The sales clerk smiled and gave me their website. I then headed home to see Tom.

The baby was taking a nap when I came in. Tom rushed to me and kissed me.

"Tom, I just " I tried to stop him.

"I don't care" he told me. I pushed him back.

"I read about other things Cuckolds like." Using that word for the first time. It spurred Tom on. I held him back. And dropped my pants. My panties soaked with cum. I rubbed them and licked my fingers.he dropped and kissed my panties. He looked up at me and I just nodded with a smile ad he pulled my panties down. He licked me tasting cum clothes the first time.

"Well?" I asked. He moved his head to the side. As if deciding then licked me again. Sucking Mark's cum out of me. As I stood leaning against the front door. When he was satisfied he had gotten it all he stood and kissed me. I reached down and pulled out his little dick. I held it with two fingers.

"It is so cute" I teased him. I knelt and took his dick and balls in my mouth at the same time. He came in seconds. I stood and kissed him letting his taste his own cum as well. I went to shower and Tom went to check on Bethany. Tom saw me when I got out of the shower. Hickeys all over my breast. He looked concerned

I just smiled. I told him everything. We made rules. I had to tell him where I was meeting, I would tell him all about what happened. Either one of us could stop it at anytime no argument just say enough. I would stay on birth control. And when we where ready decide what to do about having a second child.

I continued to see Mark. It was pure sex. He took my ass about two weeks after. Mark always stayed home. He bought me lingerie to wear for Mark. And licked me clean after every date. Mark never did really spank me. But liked to play that he would. Worst I ever got was two smacks. After a few months it ended. I quickly found another. I liked the tough working man. Such a contrast to Tom. I was a slut wife and I loved every moment of it

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merrinpippy · 11 days

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listening to "the deal"

i didn't anticipate scratch coming to the rescue but it's cool! i love how seamlessly the plot threads move forward together. worrying trade to find a body for scratch. maybe he chooses himself, since he doesn't seem to have lost that self-destructive streak? (wanting to kill himself rather than let larson take him... oh arthur) he might also choose the butcher which would be. very bad. but he might do it bc he's not innocent

lol arthur nearly got hit by a car... again

NO JOHN'S MEMORY WTF IS HAPPENING TO HIM IT'S MAKING ME SAD

yesss i know oscar was the one who saved daniel awwwww he give him hug!!! omg and daniel's okay after all this is such a win for the me community!!

john didn't see them there? ehh? that's more than a memory problem that's very much a problem In The Present. i wish he would just talk to arthur about it instead of pretending it isn't happening (though i get it's a defensive reaction bc he's scared - and perhaps knows more about it than he lets on? we still don't know at this point what john's deal with kayne was...)

fucking rich people ahahaha mans just got shot and he's annoyed he didnt get the private ward

aw oscar... he's such a good personnnnnnn ;--; very different to our first impression of him not wanting to help marie (possibly in hindsight because he doesn't trust marie bc of the husband murder? more to marie than we'd thought perhaps?)

argh a fucking detective no way this is good for arthur. so annoying when police get involved and fuck up a perfectly good crime in progress. and detective's questions are suspicious, it sounds to me like he knows arthur's a wanted man in arkham

so fucking cool that arthur's like butcher would do this because i would do this and emphasising how similar they are.... soooooo cool i love the hell out of it. extremely dangerous to be saying all of these to a fucking detective though, you know better than that arthur. or at least you should

wait... this is good??? police being helpful for fucking once? sounds fake but okay

god it's so fucking TENSE with the butcher and daniel and mr detective guy... john narrating where butcher is in the room is so effective. and feeding back when arthur has hit on a sore spot! they are such a good teammm

that's so good having arthur tell the whole room how many people he's killed... and arthur not even knowing the exact amount! and doing it in front of a detective (dangerous) oscar (good man arthur wants to be buddies with) and daniel his dad figure who's only just come around to believing in him again!!

who even are the 7 people again? i'm not exactly sure who counts. i mean i know parker, kellen, he's probably counting faroe and uncle... idk who else though

holy shit come thru oscar! they all made it out alive! i'm genuinely shocked nobody died here! but very pleased! oscar is so sweet i love he. worrying that the detective still wants to speak to arthur, i'm a little scared that it's a trap and he's going to arrest arthur as well as the butcher

omg daniel... this is so different from what i thought their dynamic would be and i couldn't be happier.... and calling arthur his son and telling him he's a good man i swear to god i will cry right here on the bus

wait lmfao that's so funny daniel's like setting arthur up on a friend date???? ahahahahaha. of course john isn't a fan of arthur trusting other people but i like that arthur is. john jealous maybe? or feeling a little left out more likely seeing as he can't interact with any of these people himself

god the thing with john is so upsetting john clearly feels so helpless about it and arthur too... wishing john would just work with him so they can solve the problem, arthur feeling as though he needs to rely on other people bc he can't just rely on himself and john anymore... nooooooo.....

okay moment of truth with mr detective. so funny when they bring up the little mishaps that happen bc arthur can't actually see. also nice that having john doesn't mean they handwave all the complications that come with being blind - arthur is fully blind and it's important.

oh he's really coming clean huh? just really going for it. i'm actually with john on this one that's a nuts thing to say to a detective. oh but the detective already knows... (and arthur's very smart for figuring that out hehe) okay who the fuck is this detective then? and who are their mutual friends? eh?

wild that arthur seems to have allies now that aren't just john! wonder how that will play out :o

#malevolent liveblog

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retrievaldivision · 2 years

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comparing how we've seen dispatch operate in manga canon to the BITE model for cult identification <3

putting this all under a readmore for thorough discussions of cults and suicide . heres my meta everyone

so basically. imho dispatch operates like a cult and will grelle ron and othello need to dip asap and ut had the right idea for leaving. this is basically evidence for my theory that at some point its going to get revealed that the "higher ups" are uhhhh. fucked up actually and the squad is getting emotionally manipulated. alright lets get to it

starting off w behavioral control letsgo

"promote dependence and obedience"

-so the big thing that signifies this in canon for me is the fact that . as sascha talked about in ch 105 (#brainwashedgirlqueen) the reapers are dependent on dispatch and the higher ups for forgiveness of their sin. if they dont play by their rules theyre not getting out of punishment purgatory

"modify behavior with rewards and punishment"

-remember when grelle was gone for an arc and then came back in campania and was like haha yeah ive been on suspension . i mean. there it is. theres definitely an argument to be made here about the fact that grelle was killing random ppl and like yeah definitely wld call for uhhh not being in public However-- why i kept this in was bc like . yeah she was being suspended for doing some mass murder etc-- but she was also being suspended bc she fully left dispatch during that time. like she was off with angelina pretending to be her butler not @ hq literally in disguise and thats why will had to come get her ass in the first place. which i think should be pointed out here

"dictate where and with whom you live"

-keeping this on here tentatively bc we dont know specifics but like. HQ. i think its important to point out that they all have this building where theyre all supposed to be

"control clothing and hairstyle"

-the suit uniform swag period.

"restrict leisure time and activities"

-again pointing out saschas monologue. the part where she points out theyre all supposed to be "worked to the bone".

-in the extended version of the BITE model they also talk about weaponizing keeping a cult member busy thru tasks bc if they are so pre occupied with tasks it leaves them w less time to question whats going on and . Yeah .

moving on to informational control

"deliberately withhold and distort information"

-pointing out how in campania ron and grelle had no fucking clue who undertaker was even tho he was supposed to have been a Huge Deal while he was at dispatch. why werent ron and grelle privy to this info why did they have to hear it from ut himself . unless ur deliberately withholding shit it makes no sense as to why they shldnt know abt the guy who destroyed half of HQ even if it happened before their time

"forbid you from speaking with ex members and critics"

-this is in purple and only half credited bc the strongest example i can think is from tmbd and not the manga but i still do want to bring it up (and i think is worth mentioning bc yana did draw those bitches into the manga when talking abt deserters so) but the whole. will monologue in tmbd where hes like yeah ur name will be stricken from the records . its a little uh. yeah its coded

"divide information into insider vs outsider doctrine"

-yeah so remember when the fight was about to happen in campania and grelle was like this is shinigami business stay out of it outsider to sebastian. like literally called him an outsider. its the vocabulary.

"encourage others to spy and report on others' 'misconduct'"

-for this i am citing the entirety of management div and the fact that its a thing. it can def be argued that management is also there to intervene during like very fucked situations where just retrieval div cant handle it as we've seen will do. but also like. it does seem esp w ripper arc that management div is there to narc on ppl for not following rules etc.

-Also for this one wanted to point out that in the extended BITE model they talk abt using buddy systems so like. u arent truly alone there is always someone who can rat on u . and how thru most of the arcs w reapers present theyve been in groups of two (ron and will in circus, ron and grelle in campania, sascha and ludger in green witch, othello and grelle during the whole ut standoff). again this can also be argued that theyre there for helping purposes in terms of fights But Also. its a little coded u guys imho

moving onto thought control

"instill black vs white, us vs them & good vs evil thinking"

-going to be talking abt this again for the second point but the way that specific language is used to moralize what the higher ups r asking the reapers to do. the way that the reapers describe what theyre doing as "collecting" souls whereas demons "hunt" souls even tho they are both. Taking Someones Soul. the fact that this paints their actions in a morally better light even tho it is the same action

-also wanted to point out a moment in the training ova even tho its not manga canon bc it is worth mentioning imo. will's whole monologue when hes getting his glasses where hes like. going to be "protecting" ppls souls and all of this stuff. and that these r Glasses Of Life. all of this pure morality and saviorism the reapers are being taught to attribute to them being in dispatch. Yeah.

"use loaded language and cliches to stop complex thought"

-thinking abt the v specific terms both will (current member of dispatch) and ut (ex member of dispatch) use to describe demons when they call them "vermin" like it is the Exact Same Word that they use. its again the repeated vocabulary to other and condemn demons even though they are Both Entities Who Take Ppls Souls Away. its . hmmmm. why does this not apply to u guys.

last one!

"install irrational fears (phobias) of questioning or leaving the group"

-based on the 105 info, if u leave dispatch, u r never going to be forgiven from ur "sin." even though. we've never seen this "forgiveness" ever actually happen and none of the reapers have ever indicated that anybody they know has ever actually been forgiven. its the irrational fear of not being forgiven even though attaining forgiveness has not, as we seen, been proven to actually be a real thing

"label some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, or wrong"

-wld like to briefly point out wills monologue to ron in circus abt how having empathy is like not something that should be done

-also the whole . again with the 105 drop. the fact that dispatch is labelling having mental illness as A Sin. lol

"promote feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness"

-again going off of 105 . the whole reason they are there and working for the higher ups is bc they have killed themselves and feel the need to get forgiven for it. The Entire Model Of Dispatch Runs On Guilt

"shun you if you disobey or disbelieve"

-circling back to previous points made abt ut being a big deal and ron and grelle only finding out abt him when he literally spelled it out for them . like he was. all info of him was gone that wasnt firsthand witnessed once he deserted. also rons whole moment in campania i believe while hes talking to ryan where hes like i have no respect for ppl who meddle w death. and dispatch has rules against meddling w death.... hmm...

"teach that there is no happiness or peace outside the group"

-bringing up 105 again. there is no forgiveness outside of dispatch that is why they are still there this is the only way they can get forgiveness and presumably peace bc theyve righted their "sin"

in conclusion, the higher ups are fucked up and will grelle ron and othello are getting played <3 i do think this is going to be blatantly revealed at some point like. with everything ive talked about in this post . i do think there is foreshadowing directly pointing to this idea. and i think there will be a moment where will ron grelle and othello realize this . thanks for coming everyone

#kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji spoilers #black butler

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kulekrizpy · 4 months

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my friend/ex was really upset yesterday. his body is all messed up from various injuries, he needs dental work. i told him to call out of work bc he wasn’t going to get any sleep before his shift

he moved near his hometown with some planning but not a lot. he wants to go to school. but he won’t have in-state tuition since he was living in my state prior to moving. he works really hard at work but it’s physical labor and it only makes his health issues worse. he also doesn’t want to move up to a less labor-intensive position :/ he honestly needs to take medical leave

and he’s upset with my brother for various reasons, but last night he was drinking and it all came out and he messaged my brother and my mother about how upset he was about my brother breaking something of mine and not paying in full to replace it. he’s struggling with money on his own and he resents my brother for having a cushy job that he complains about and flouts authority on. in many ways my brother IS entitled and probably WOULD benefit from being punched in the face at least once for his shitty political views, especially bc my ex is genderqueer. but he has definitely not spoken frankly about it with my brother

speaking of which, now he’s in a less accepting place and tho he “toned down the queer” he still gets looks from ppl and it’s stressing him out a lot. he worries about going thru backroads in case his car breaks down and someone kills him

all his friends from back home are druggies or complete deadbeats or both and he’s had a falling out with everyone since he moved. he’s also worried one of his older friends won’t live beyond this year. so now all the friends he does rely on are in my area and not his and he’s very lonely and isolated. and that also means i’m his best friend rn, which he’s told me several times

a week or so ago he wanted to make a risky and illegal change in career and after i told him i wouldn’t have been friends with him anymore if he decided to do it, he told me he still wants to fuck me. when i told him i can’t be casual with him anymore so don’t say that, he said he didn’t say it properly and that he meant he wants to be with me, eventually. and it’s just a whole fucking thing. he can’t even articulate what he wants. i told him not to mention it again unless he was sure and confident he could actually be a good partner to me. and i told him i need time to get over him too

and last night, we were chatting and i realized he’d been drinking, and he’s in a negative spiral/combative. he messaged my family. i told him he should wait til the morning and he did it anyway. at that point i said whatever. the call dragged on for hours tho he needed to sleep for work. he was in such a state i didn’t feel comfortable getting off the phone with him in case he did something very risky, like driving drunk or idk what else. he talked about wanting to lay down on some train tracks…

AND he called me again at work the other day. like. on the work phone. he used to work there but it’s just… not professional. feels weird. esp bc he was doing it cuz he was drunk. told him to text or call my phone next time

he gets drunk and disregards boundaries. bc he also mentioned the dating thing last night while we were talking. and when i told him not to he sidestepped and kept going on about whatever rant. and he just argues abt everything when he’s drunk. DUMB shit. like me taking my bike apart to store it easier. like bruh leave me alone ??

in the end he called out of work, then talked to his sister and i guess she convinced him to drive up instead of doing something dumber. i asked if he was sober enough and he said yeah. which he would’ve said no matter what i’m sure :|

so. he got to his family’s place and i guess i’ll see him today sometime. i told him i don’t want to drink and my brother doesn’t wanna drink with him either, so we’ll avoid that at our house at least

he’s trying, but he’s also falling back on stupid habits. i just hope he can figure out how to get the help he needs

and i need to figure out how to keep my boundaries

the cats woke me up earlier. i need to sleep more before i see him. good night

#suicide m //#personal

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serotoninny · 1 year

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Hey- hi. My sister and I grew up playing Super Paper Mario constantly. I would absolutely love to hear any and all thoughts you would like to share pls and thank you!!

HELLO! HELLO HI!

wanted to start off by saying Holy Shit!! spm was a video game me and my sister also played growing up!! we never beat it back then but recently she came home and got me hooked on it again and we played it all the way thru. we also did fun little voices for each character I got to be dimentio so that was very fun ^__^ i think Objectively its not a very hard game (which is why we were able to beat it LMAO) but what it lacks there it makes up for in STORY and super strong characters and i adore it so

IF ANYONE!! ANYONE wants to respond to anything ive said in this word soup of a post PLEASE DO!!! in the tags in the comments i just like seeing ppl talk abt whatever the hell about spm. Head canons Theories You name it

this is . a little scattered around. u do not have to read all of this but thank you for giving me an excuse to talk abt spm VVV

first of all themes of love being the answer make me wanna bawl my eyes out and i gotta be real i did tear up at the end of the game when blumiere and timpani have bounding through time ost playing and then walk out of frame. CHEFS KISS. lovely. i like how each chapter the gang goes thru has its own unique little set of townspeople and even thru little bits of dialogue u are left wanting to defeat the chaos heart even more because you dont want any of them to die YK? HEAVENS TO BETSY! THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS FOR RIGHT BEFORE CHAPTER 8 FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN FLIP/FLOPSIDE?? SHIT HURTED. npc reactions to all the shit going on were so good

one thing i WISH happened tho was. mario and luigi Sibling Love (i mean this platonically i want to specify Just in case there are any weirdos out there) Helps Save The World. i get the whole count bleck mansion part where everyone started sacrificing themselves to save the others which means they care for one another n whatnot which is good great and fantastic However i think it wouldve been COOL to see the whole gang esp the two opposing forces of Mario (prophesized hero color red) and luigi (prophesized Man In Green to contain the chaos heart and destroy the world) contribute to the reformation of the pure heart like some sorta balance between light n dark . BUT ITS FINE i love the game anyway because its probably the longest bowser luigi mario and peach have ever been on the same team

and completely unrelated, the entire premise of luigi being the harbinger of a great world ender is ALWAYS a joy. a fun little recurring gag if you will. like i cant believe this is not the only time he was the vessel for a great evil like what is up with that. every day i think abt that one luigi post abt how he's Doomed By The Narrative TM to be the Evil Twin Brother but he just chooses not to be. never not thinking abt that ever. hes so haunted by like literally everything got separated and brainwashed fought his brother aided in the destruction of the sammer guy world Died went to hell KOed spm satan got revived became GOD then saved the world. and he is some middle aged man in striped socks

MR L. GOD. that fucking guy. hes so lame. i like him so much. his theme goes SO hard in the silliest way imaginable. and i also like how even when he is brainwashed its kinda obvious he still wants mario around (see: brobot, the replacement brother). they fr tapped into luigis need to be useful and used that as is motivation to work for the count. yeowch. mr l to me is just luigi but Lots of parts of him just locked up and forgotten (plus a little minor bit of oh i dont know straight up brain manipulation, nastasia is a force 2 be reckoned with fr) Duno if im making sense here . anyway mr l is so so so hilarious to me because his one liners are so so dumb and i think the gag abt no one recognizing him is FUNNY (EVEN IF i think at least mario SHOULDVE recognized him but WHATEVS).

all of count blecks minions are . SUCH a fun little group. and while dimentio didnt give a fuck about them i still love his dynamic as the court jester whos a little bit of a bitch. the origins of them joining the group are very interesting because ochunks mimi and nastasia had been at their lowest when bleck recruited them and dimentio was like. let me in your emo band. ochunk's warrior code is something i think about a lot. he doesnt got a lot behind the eyes but hes got values he sticks to and i like that a lot in a character. him and mimi do spa days

bleck as a character makes me wanna chew through my walls. in a good way. guys who are slipping and dont want to get back up and bringing everything else down with them are fun and that is all. bonus! he still gets to be Somewhere quiet after the story's over

dimentio has to be my fave of the goons (not counting mr l). not surprising because hes just. so. ...... He is the Way That He Is. his little similes are so stupidly funny for no reason and i think being a Silly Guy and also a Guy With Ulterior Motives are the two funest traits a character can have. His ambiguous past is so interesting like yes bitch hide behind the mask keep cards up your sleeve dont let them know your next move!! something interesting i read somewhere was that. even after luigi the chaos heart and dimentio were separated that there were bits still mixed up between them, linking them not only prophetically but on the atomic level is a headcanon im tucking close into my heart . terrifying as it is super fucking rad !! luigi cannot escape the harbinger of doom allegations

dimentio and luigis entire dynamic is the best thing ever. because dimentio is a goddamn weirdo and luigi is. and i cannot stress this enough. JUST a fucking GUY. luigi is like "ill stop you you ne'er do well!" and dimentio responds with "im killing us both<3ciao!" why does every luigi villain wanna be no children mountain goats with SO BAD. they should keep doing it

god. the way mario is the mc and barely has a role in most of the story other than being The Hero of the Light Prognosticus is both a little annoying and also kinda sick /pos. annoying because mario is one of my faves and i want him to participate in the story more (not really a diss on the writing i just like him) but also kinda sick because . the way everyone in the game talks abt the hero from the prophecy is so. soooooooooooo. god. like everyone in favor of all worlds Not Ending preparing THOUSANDS of CENTURIES in advance just for mario to arrive. Pixls were locked in boxes and hidden away WAITING for him and its like. if he could talk back. i wanna know how he thinks abt all this. because throught the entire story You as the player kinda fuck things up for people in pursuit of the pure hearts. and mario cant rly SAY anything abt it cus its not Really his story, but MAN. what i would give for a little development on his end of the lineup during a few points like 'wilting' king croacus, figuring out squirps is now orphaned because he had to stay alive long enough to help the heros, Luvbis Entire Deal, and figuring out mr l was luigi all along. SIGH

i dont know much about the pixl war, but all of that lore is so cool to look into. ive got like surface level knowledge. even then i only rly care abt the history when im thinking abt the personalities of the pixls themselves. cus like they get their little moment in the spotlight and then they Never speak Again. dottie and cudge and fleep are some of the more memorable ones for me and i wish it was possible to hear more of them. but alas

squirps. :( in my heart. in my heart and soul. bowser takes squirps under his wing. forms an alliance with his kingdom (assuming. squirps takes over from where his mom left off). peach would of course also form an alliance with him. IDK. squirps is the Only One out of every major side character in the game who didnt really get a happy ending. while not everyone NEEDS one i think he deserves one. and in my perfect world he is being guided by two more experienced rulers (bowser isnt doing much in terms of teaching him good diplomacy but he sure as hell is getting him to hang out with kids his age like Jr).

bowser was so funny this whole game. love when evil guys get domesticated a little. thats all about him

PEACH. PRINCESS PEACH. god i love her. the way she was the only person to resist nastasias brainswashing AND her fucking umbrella is the most cracked defense in the World. blowing a kiss to the wind. for peach

ok so i cant think of anything else to say and i havent proofread this. if YOU, dear viewer, love super paper mario i need you to never shut the fuck up ever. there are like 12 of us

#spm #super paper mario #long post #HOO man. supare papa mareio.

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wanderrlust0 · 9 months

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-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

#mypost #journal #continued in the comments

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