#which is highly exacerbated by the fact that there is no way to filter the fandom vs. history content on tumblr so it all just mingles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xoruffitup · 3 years

Text

Sexuality In Neon Genesis Evangelion: Adolescence & Violence

(I’m literally 20 years late to the party here, but if anyone still cares for NGE metas, this hasn’t left me alone...!)

It takes only a few episodes into NGE to sense there’s some form of unrest beneath its surface. A palpable sense of unease and malcontent shadows the characters, seeping into the bleak cityscapes and following Shinji’s listless drift from one battle to the next - creating the unrelenting sense that this show has no intention to coddle or comfort you. Much will not be explained, or even directly addressed. Most of that unease you’re feeling as a viewer will be left for you yourself to decipher – probably in a manner uncomfortably and bracingly personal. I would call this a mark of artistry, in that the viewing experience becomes something deeply intimate and unique from person to person.

The obvious narrative explanation for all this dark ambiguity is the evocation of Shinji’s troubled psychological state. He mopes in his dark bedroom, rides the train alone with his headphones in and no destination, and accepts the role of Eva pilot only when his refusal would make him feel yet more despised. He is utterly directionless and thus helpless – caught in a paralysis between his pathological need for external affirmation and his crippling fear of being hurt. He craves kindness and care from others, but is both unwilling and unable to forge such positive connections with others because he presupposes doing so will cause pain. Therefore, he makes few self-motivated choices and rebukes all notion of the driven, intentional protagonist.

Shinji’s rejection of the traditional mantle of the hero’s journey, and his repeated regression into unassertive self-hatred also signals an unorthodox approach to storytelling - where the narrative flows around the inhibited, apathetic characters rather than through them. We as the viewers do not become invested in the narrative progression as an extension of Shinji’s own investment. Rather, a central part of the narrative becomes the self-aware exploration of its own impact upon Shinji and the wider cast of characters. Shinji, Rei, Asuka, and to a certain degree Misato and Ritsuko, do not determine the narrative direction through their own choices and thereby set events in motion; they are instead passive, reactionary presences drawn along by the provocations of seemingly inevitable series of events. (Angels attack – characters respond; Gendo or Seele give some unexplained order – characters react; Instrumentality begins – Shinji reacts)

As the curtain is finally drawn back from the human instrumentality project in the show’s final act, we realize Shinji was not simply whiny or poorly-written: His constant struggle between the fear of pain and need for intimacy is in fact the defining tension of the show as a whole. The “Hedgehog’s Dilemma.” This dilemma saturates each character’s personal trauma, fears, and desires, and finally elevates the characters’ internal reckoning in the face of instrumentality to create the show’s climax.

The show’s indirect yet masterful depiction of Shinji’s depression and undefined malaise is, in fact, keenly intentional and central to the story’s purpose. In a show defined by endlessly rich even if agonizing ambiguities and a narrative style that reveals itself only in subtlety, no minor detail is inconsequential. And so, I repeatedly found myself trying to discern the purpose of a recurring element that could be neither accidental nor innocuous. I am referring now to the show’s consistent and blatant preoccupation with the sexualization of its (female) characters and the infusion of sexuality into inter-character relationships.

The sexualizing and/or objectifying gaze is applied far too often to be anything but an intentional layer generating narrative meaning. In a show that elegantly weaves together psychological, religious, ethical, and technological allusions to construct a cutting inspection of the human psyche, this preoccupation is not a mere trope or “fanservice.” The recurrent reference to characters’ sexuality and their depiction as sexual objects cannot be a neutral or peripheral element of narrative meaning. Beyond the impossibility of this element being unintentional or divorced from the show’s narrative purpose, we are also obliged to make ourselves aware of the gendered lens through which this depiction of sexuality is filtered, and the power balance or imbalance this depiction enforces upon the characters involved. Consistent nudity to the point of fetishism and sexual inferences to the point of defining character cease to be superficial and become something pernicious.

Below, I will explore two different frameworks through which to interpret the show’s sexual overtones. The first framework – adolescence and the fear of adulthood – aligns with my initial response to the anime, while the second framework – sexual violence –reflects my more troubled response to the End of Evangelion film.

Framework 1: Shinji’s Adolescent Fears of Adulthood and Intimacy

Lest we forget, Shinji is only the tender age of 14. His internal struggle with self-worth and identity is exacerbated by its intersection with puberty and Shinji’s fraught understanding of his own budding sexuality. Shinji’s characterization of being highly dependent on the guidance and praise of his elders highlights both his adolescence and his own inability to confront his growth to adulthood. His unwillingness to navigate the perils of adulthood (as well as its corresponding sexual relationships) is probably evoked most clearly in his Episode 18 conversation with Kaji. After Kaji opines on men and women’s inability to understand each other – let alone themselves – Shinji merely replies dismissively, “I don’t understand adults at all.”

Given his 14-year-old perception of adulthood as something impenetrably mystical, it follows that his own budding sexuality acts as both a source of anxiety and a central aspect of his journey through adolescence. The often discussed parallels between Shinji’s relationship with Asuka and Misato’s relationship with Kaji further cements sex as something firmly belonging to adulthood; just as Asuka’s eagerness to present herself as sexually mature reflects her desire to appear independent and “grown.”

Coming to terms with one’s sexuality is of course a commonplace metaphor for the development from adolescence to adulthood. However, the characters’ understanding and comfort with their own sexualities also plays a key role in their internal reckonings and decisions which occur within instrumentality.

During his moments of metaphysical introspection, Shinji’s confrontation with his deepest fears repeatedly presents itself in the form of sexual temptation. We see him translate this need for external validation into unconscious sexualization and desire for the women around him. While fused with Unit 1 in Episode 20, Shinji is questioned by imagined specters of Misato, Rei, and Asuka. He reaches his breaking point when, after admitting he only pilots the Eva in hope of earning others’ praise, he cries out for someone to take care of him. After pleading, “someone be kind to me,” all three women appear to him naked, asking repeatedly, “Don’t you want to become one with me? In body and in soul?” In this imagined ordeal of self-examination, Shinji’s deepest, most fundamental need for approval and warmth from others is coded into the prospect of understanding and intimacy associated with sex. At a subconscious level, he perceives the offering of sexual union as the highest form of acceptance. Shinji therefore feels varying degrees of conflicted, guilt-ridden desire for the women around him, in the most primal form of his craving for acceptance.

In this scene, the offering of sexual intercourse is also a direct foreshadowing to the prospect of union with all during instrumentality, and either the acceptance or rejection of that union. In End of Evangelion, Shinji’s crucial choice during instrumentality is again presented in the same terms: Asuka, Rei, and Misato’s voices all asking “Do you want to become one with me, body and soul?” Shinji’s mix of attraction and repellence (for he fears intimacy as intensely as he craves it) when confronting this question indirectly depicts his struggle to decide between a solitary but self-defined existence, and the sacrifice of his autonomous self to total union. Thus, Shinji’s repressed desire for sexual intimacy becomes in and of itself a key facet of both his decision to ultimately reject instrumentality, and his conclusive creation of an independent and capable identity.

In line with my earlier reference to Asuka’s desire to appear sexually mature, the anime consistently uses sexuality as a means of revealing character - often probing at characters’ deepest vulnerabilities. Misato is likely the most direct example. It is through her sexual relationship with Kaji that she confronts her conflicted feelings towards her father and their profound impact on her. During instrumentality, she also admits she enjoys sex as an escape mechanism from pain and a way to prove she’s alive. She seems to perceive sex in the opposite perspective from Shinji – who on some level finds it threatening. This could be attributed firstly to Misato’s maturity in age and correlating comfort with her own sexuality. Secondly, this speaks to the show’s use of sexuality to build character in ways beyond Shinji’s troubled adolescent shame. The show’s focus on its characters’ sexuality can therefore be viewed as a means of prying into the inner conflicts they each seek to hide from the world. Note it is also through the reveal of Ritsuko’s sexual involvement with Gendo that we understand the reasons for her troubled relationship with her mother, her dedication to NERV, and her knowledge of its secrets.

Though sexuality is used as a sometimes literal, sometimes symbolic, but often effective vehicle to portray abstract concepts and internal, non-physical conflicts, this does not fully explain or justify the show’s gratuitous use of the male gaze. Though the depiction of sexuality often serves the purpose of character development, this depiction is exceedingly gendered. Though Shinji is shown naked, his nudity serves comedic effect (when he runs out from the bathroom in Misato’s apartment in Episode 2) or appears highly stylized (embracing Rei’s equally naked form in End of Evangelion). By contrast, Rei and Asuka’s bodies practically serve as set pieces. The pilot suits and contrived “camera” angles incessantly present their bodies as aesthetic objects for consumption.

Furthermore, early appearances by both female characters immediately define them as objects of sexual focus. The first time she appears, Asuka tells off Toji for looking up her skirt; Shinji ends up sprawled on top of Rei when she’s naked while first trying to get to know her in Episode 5. If we apply the interpretive framework of sexuality as a means of navigating adolescence, then it is exclusively Shinji’s journey towards adulthood with which the show shares its perspective and identification. It would therefore follow that Rei and Asuka serve merely as signposts or attractive obstacles along the path of Shinji’s development. Their bodies are exploited as tools through which to challenge and probe at Shinji’s psyche. While Shinji’s sexuality bestows him personhood and agency, Asuka and Rei’s often seem to do the opposite – instead reducing them to only the means towards Shinji’s end. Yet, even the justification that Rei and Asuka’s objectification may serve Shinji’s character development falls short, given that the girls are still depicted in a lewd and hyper-sexualized lens even when there’s nobody but us, the viewers, around to witness.

Using sexuality as a key vehicle to convey the male protagonist’s psychology creates an inherently gendered narrative – one in which a male protagonist acts out his conflict upon female bodies. This uneven and highly exploitative depiction warps what might have been an adolescent journey of self-discovery and growth into something far less constructive and much more unsettling.

Framework 2: Pervasive References to Sexual Violence

As I argued previously, Shinji’s repressed and conflicted sexuality can be viewed as a mirror of his character-defining struggle between the desire for love and the fear of pain. In this case, Shinji’s exploration and acceptance of his own sexuality becomes in and of itself a central element of his character development and, by extension, the show’s narrative resolution as a whole, given that the outcome of instrumentality rests on Shinji’s shoulders alone. It then becomes crucial that Shinji actualize his latent desire for sexual intimacy and ultimately master his own sexuality – as the chief expression of his internal development towards accepting his relationships with others and the co-dependent process of creating his own identity, self-worth, and reality.

In the abstract, this idea seems relatively healthy. However, the “Don’t you want to become one with me?” scenes and essentially all of End of Evangelion left me with a distinctly uncomfortable impression that couldn’t have been more different from that of a guileless adolescent navigating puberty. Seeing the “Don’t you want to become one with me?” question repeated to Shinji in the End of Evangelion context made me circle around one key question: Why is this imagined physical offering by the women in Shinji’s life presented as temptation? Why does the timing of this sequence reappear while Shinji is experiencing instrumentality? Or rather, why is the experience of instrumentality itself presented with the air of sexual temptation or seduction? This all culminates into the depiction of sexual desire for the female body as something needing to be tamed or conquered – given that it is only through Shinji’s repudiation of these offerings that he ultimately also rejects instrumentality. This supposition implies an adversarial relationship between Shinji and the object(s) of his sexual desire. This implicit hostility paints sexuality now as a struggle for control and/or dominance, rather than a source of self-discovery and growth.

I’ll note now that most of the observations and criticisms explored in this section speak almost exclusively to End of Evangelion. In my view, this implied hostility embedded into the exploration of sexuality is much more present in the film, whereas the show largely maintains sexuality as a means of fumbling adolescent growth and complex characterization. To frame what might be seen as an extreme interpretation, I’ll begin my closer reading of End of Evangelion with this Catharine MacKinnon quote:

“Once the veil is lifted, once relations between the sexes are seen as power relations, it becomes impossible to see as simply unintented, well-intentioned, or innocent the actions through which women are told every day what is expected and when they have crossed some line.”

The crucial dynamic supporting this darker interpretive framework – a dynamic much more palpable in End of Evangelion – is power relations. Referring back to my previous point wherein the persistent objectification of Asuka and Rei undermines their personhood to the same degree that it enhances Shinji’s – End of Evangelion takes this imbalance still further. Rei and Asuka’s sexualization not only serves Shinji’s development, but becomes the main stage upon which Shinji’s fight for self-determination plays out. This is to say that Shinji’s actions and key elements of the film’s narrative as a whole are acted out upon women’s bodies as both battleground and symbol. End of Evangelion resorts to a mode of storytelling that is explicitly gendered, portraying its conflict through a starkly male lens. Through the film’s imagery, brutality, and indulgence in the explicit, Shinji’s narrative is acted out through the depiction of women’s bodies as objects either with destructive power or being destroyed themselves; and as threats which much be conquered.

The Shinji we see in End of Evangelion experiences highs and lows far more extreme than his anime counterpart. EoE Shinji is shockingly depraved, powerless, and violent – in that order. His experiences in relation to the navigation of his sexuality take on a tone of violence and aggression. If he cannot act out his sexual impulses – if he cannot subdue the tormenting yet desired female body to the point that satisfies his desires (even if not always sexual in nature) – he resorts to violence to assert his will. During the kitchen scene within instrumentality, it is at the point when Asuka coldly rebuffs his pleading for her help that he first strangles her. Thinking back to the above quote re power relations – is this the “line” beyond accepted behavior where Asuka becomes deserving of male violence?

Violence takes many forms – all of them an embodiment of power relations. Yes, Shinji masturbating over Asuka’s stripped, unconscious form in the first scene is unequivocally an act of violence. No matter how “fucked up” and past sense Shinji may have been in that moment, he is still a man demeaning a woman and taking pleasure from the act – her inability to consent and even her comatose state all fueling male sexual gratification. Aside from the considerable shock value, this scene sets the tone of Shinji’s actions towards women throughout the film as relations of power and dominance. This scene further establishes repressed sexual desire and thwarted sexual frustration as the latent foundation of Shinji’s interactions with Asuka throughout the film; thus creating motivation and tension with the potential to drive him to further forms of violence.

In EoE, Shinji shares some type of sexual experience with all three women to whom he’s closest. First, his repulsive descent into depravity at the film’s very start. In this moment when he’s at his lowest, it is his most base and yet powerful instinct that takes over. He exacts pleasure, comfort, and distraction from Asuka’s body despite its fleetingness and her lack of consent. Second, Misato realizes that physical intimacy is the only thing that will get through to Shinji in his shell-shocked state. With a heated kiss, she delivers on the show’s hints of sexual interest between the two. Demonstrating just how well she understands Shinji, she promises him “We’ll do the rest when you get back,” knowing the promise of this ultimate physical act of approval and care is likely the only thing he will fight for. To put this in blunt terms: Shinji is promised sexual access to a woman whose praise he values, and this prospect of sexual fulfillment is what motivates him to finally enter Unit 1. While he isn’t imposing dominance over Misato here the same way he did to Asuka, this keeps with the film’s overall gendered perspective wherein Shinji’s triumphs or rare moments of purpose are marked by his access to women’s bodies.

Third, Shinji’s interactions with Rei/Rei-Lilith within instrumentality. It first must be noted that Rei is depicted naked for practically the whole movie. Sure, this might be necessary for the initiation of instrumentality, but it also serves to complete her objectification. I can by no means see it as mere coincidence that the advent of instrumentality and potential unleashing of the cataclysmic Third Impact is all represented by a giant, naked female form. What would be the greatest threat from the perspective of the male-gendered narrative? Precisely this – a female body that is overpowering, unconquerable, and unfathomable. By extension, I also don’t believe it’s coincidental that Shinji’s attainment of self-determination in his decision to reject instrumentality happens concurrently to his sexual union with Rei. She explains to him that no, he hasn’t died, “everything has just been joined into one.” This “joining” is depicted utterly literally, without any of the subtlety by which the anime presented sexuality as representative of total union within instrumentality. Thus, the resolution of Shinji’s character arc and the film’s climax as a whole occurs when Shinji finally attains fulfillment of the sexual desire he has harbored since the film’s beginning. The following shot of him and Rei naked with his head in her lap resolves the crisis of instrumentality with an unmistakable post-coital essence.

After these three encounters, we have the much-debated final scene of Shinji reuniting with Asuka after emerging from instrumentality. By this point, Shinji has taken advantage of her comatose body and strangled her, but she still has not shown herself amenable to his sexual desires as Misato and Rei have. She remains beyond his ability to either control or dominate. And so, while Rei’s giant, naked, and broken (read: conquered) body rests in pieces behind them, Shinji asserts his newfound will to attack the woman who has resisted his desire and refused the gratification he sought – both physically and emotionally.

This scene left me possibly even more disturbed than the film’s opening. To me, this ending implies that along with Shinji’s discovery of self-determination comes the male’s unfettered triumph following a struggle defined by sexual violence. In this final scene, we see the resistant woman subject to yet more violence at the hands of the protagonist – until at last, she no longer resists. In my view, this final scene was the occasion of Asuka’s capitulation. She is finally subdued to the point of acceptance and affectionate response even when being subjected to violence. She responds to Shinji’s aggression not with retaliation, but with a loving gesture. Her final words of “how disgusting” reminded me immediately of the hospital scene, and what Shinji had asked of her there: “Wake up, help me, call me an idiot like always.” Now, the man’s desire is at last satiated.

Beyond the narrative reliance on sexuality as a form of power relations, EoE also engages in gratuitous degradation of female bodies. They are either imbued with threatening, destructive power (Rei-Lilith), or experience destruction themselves (Asuka in Unit 2 and Rei-Lilith at the film’s end). Both Rei and Asuka’s bodies are subjected to extreme violence throughout the film, even while still being depicted as sexual objects. While suffering horrific, graphic injuries during her fight in Unit 2, Asuka is depicted writhing in agony in the entry plug with a disturbing sense of the erotic. After her body becomes the apocalyptic vehicle of instrumentality, Rei’s giant naked form is depicted crumbling to earth, stripped not only of her clothes but any sense of the human. Her split-open head rests beside the sea of LCL – a symbol of the male protagonist’s moral and psychological “victory.”

Framework 2: Counter-Arguments

Though I was disturbed by the rampant and dehumanizing sexualization in EoE, there were also plenty elements of the film I admired and remain deeply fascinated by. I don’t wish to seem overly disparaging, so I’ll briefly mention two counter-examples to this more critical framework.

1. Rei denying and rebuking Gendo and asserting her own will, while depicted as naked. It’s hard to overstate the enormity of Rei’s decision here. After existing as a seemingly unfeeling clone created for the purpose of realizing Gendo’s desires, Rei brings his plans to a crashing halt right at the pinnacle moment. The scene metaphorically traveled from 0-100 very quickly. It began with the insinuation of Gendo joining with Rei in a vaguely sexual sense, and his hand sinking into her breast in an unconventional bodily invasion while she showed discomfort. But then she asserts, “I am not your doll.” Her nakedness seems transformed from vulnerability to power. She is no longer the passive instrument of a man’s realization of his desires. Instead, she asserts her personhood and makes the individual decision how to employ the power within her. In so doing, she decides not only her own fate, but practically that of the whole world.

2. Shinji and Kaworu’s dynamic could be seen as refuting a binary reading of gendered power relations. Taking Shinji for bisexual has the potential to revise my interpretation from ‘Shinji subconsciously desires sexual access and control over women’ to ‘Shinji subconsciously desires sex and control’ period, without the emphasis on women as the subjects of his struggle. If this gendered binary is removed, then his growth and self-actualization need not come at the expense of the female characters around him. Extending Shinji’s repressed sexuality to encompass desire for Kaworu also alleviates the connotations of dominance and confrontation embedded within heterosexual sexuality.

Writing all this out was largely my personal means of resolving the million jumbled thoughts in my head after finally diving into this stunning masterpiece of a show. I’ll say again - what makes this show such a timeless work of brilliance is its highly personal resonance in the minds of its viewers. In the end, it isn’t a story about robots, aliens, or even sex at all – it’s a self-reflective act forcing you to wake up and confront your own role in creating the very reality in which you live. What kind of world have you made for yourself? Have you trapped yourself in confinement of your own making, or have you imagined every possible version of your world and liberated all the possibilities hidden in your creation of self? Evangelion can mean something different to every one, and no single interpretation is more correct than any others. So that said – a hearty thank you to anyone who actually read all the way here, and I’m always eager for discussion! :)

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #Evangelion #End of Evangelion #NGE #Evangelion meta #Evangelion analysis

107 notes · View notes

meikuree · 3 years

Text

short post about personal responses to being in fandom, mental health (slightly), coping mechanisms

2020 (okay, technically starting from late dec 2019) was the first year i started putting fannish content up on the internet and one of the key things i quickly needed to take stock of was ways to be conscious of my wellbeing while i was doing it, and also what to do to take care of it. this was necessary for me for a couple of reasons but the big one is that i get insecure very easily about my writing and have issues with stat comparison. my coping measures have ranged from tweaking my fandom experience in small ways to disengaging from fandom periodically if needed.

in mid 2020, for instance, i started using an ao3 code to hide all fic stats (e.g. kudos/bookmarks/comments) so they wouldn’t show up while i was browsing fics, and it’s something i’d now highly recommend to any other person also struggling with comparison with other writers/people. beyond being a recuperative step for alleviating the anxiety i was feeling while browsing ao3, i love it for the fact that it prompts me to reevaluate my criteria for determining what a “worthy” fic is -- hiding stats leads me more frequently to hidden/overlooked fics, because i’m not using stats as a flawed shorthand to determine whether a fic is good, and i like the increased equitability/thoughtfulness, i suppose you could call it, in how i’ve picked fics afterwards. it also works for me because i’ve long noticed that the fics i like/enjoy reading often aren’t the ones that get the most numerical/quantified attention, and this is one way to remove the influence of (sometimes, or frequently) arbitrary markers on my choices.

the other helpful but maybe sliiiightly drastic coping mechanism i’ve resorted to -- and which i’m doing right now, actually -- is simply disengaging from fandom for a while, which means not reading other fics in fandoms i’m writing for, or refusing to look up fannish content for a while. and it honestly does feel amazing! i believe everyone should do it once in a while if they notice their relationship with fandom going sour

i’m still fine with reading/looking at things if people send them to me or want me to check them out for any reason, but unless people specifically ask me, i simply Don’t Look At Things. i do this primarily when i’m in the middle of writing, because writing is a cognitively involved process for me where it’s easier if i withdraw into myself to finish short bouts of intense work. it’s unfortunately also a stage during which i’m prone to spiralling over my writing, so to avoid exacerbating that this is something i do

the tension i’ve faced with this is that it’s something i sometimes feel bad for doing, because it does mean i become insular and selfish in some respects -- i stop going out of my way to engage with acquaintances/friends’ works and/or comment on them like i usually do, unless someone directs me to them, for instance. it doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate them, i’m just keeping to myself for a while for self-preservation.

not sure how to end this -- but to recapitulate, this is just a short explanation... to talk about why i don’t reblog things sometimes. it’s because i simply filter/block all tags for fandoms i need to disengage from. i usually aim to get back to reblogging/supporting other creators when i get out of the stage where i need to do these things, i suppose

#meikuree talks #personal

6 notes · View notes

creativity-is-rebellion · 5 years

Text

Meme-ing Well: How the Modern use of Satire Contributes to a Fractured yet Passive Society

Within the political sphere (the most prominent recent example in Western society being the 2016 U.S. presidential election), there has been an increase in the utilisation of memes (especially “dank memes”, which experienced an awkward transition from youth culture to mainstream social media staple during this time period). In examining the growing body of academic literature regarding the phenomena of meme-related satire, “superiority humour”, so-called “filter-bubbles”, and echo-chambers, it would appear that change emerging in response to a comedic message is highly unlikely, although such public actions as tweeting and re-tweeting various satirical memes can create the illusion of making a difference, whilst also serving as a form of cathartic release for those with seemingly little-to-no social or political power. Some scholars argue that “not only is comedy incapable of launching revolutions; it may have even prevented a few from happening” (McGraw & Warner, 2014).

For example, Democrat candidate Hillary Clinton’s mocking of Republican candidate Donald Trump’s supporters as “deplorables”, and the memes surrounding this action, only further strengthened the resolve of Trump’s cohort to vote for him. Ultimately, the Trump campaign “trumped” (this never gets old), because the worst thing you can do is not take large groups of disaffected people seriously, especially in so-called democracies (which is a contested term in itself, but, for the purpose of this post, it pertains to the parameters of where every free person has the right to vote) (Winkler, 2017).

The finding from above could also perhaps be generalised to the memes we use in other domains, such as charitable or other social causes and issues, as it gives people the cognitive illusion that they are being proactive, when in fact using humour in this way is just a coping mechanism, and not really transforming anything; it is a way of poking fun at the sickness of society without actually doing anything about it. It is the antithesis of change, and the definition of maintenance. The most it can provide is comic relief against a seemingly hopeless situation. See the collection of memes used in this post for some good examples of this. Instead of dealing with the issues at hand, these various memes poke fun at the supposed ridiculousness of various concepts relevant to society today, which makes that group feel like they are not being taken seriously, so they push back, which exacerbates the social tension surrounding the issue on both sides.

Indeed, some of the people who create these memes know this, and utilise it as just another way to immobilise the masses against the agenda of the day. Trends are analysed and normalised in such a way to mass-distribute and cater to people's prejudices or mental schemas, in order to placate them. Meanwhile, everything is neo-liberalised, while politicians tell us to blame the refugees (or some other marginalised group) for our misfortunes, instead of the privatisation and globalisation of major corporations that disenfranchise us on purpose to line their pockets.

Getting back to politics, in Australia, most notably since the Whitlam government in the mid 1970s, the ALP and the Liberal-National Coalition has devolved into “the Coles and Woolworths of Australian politics” (Frazer, 2017), with both sides being water-carriers for global corporations in their world-wide campaign to pillage even more resources, exploit ever-cheaper labour, and evade or eliminate more regulations. The Left gives the corporations what they want, whilst still promising voters more jobs and wealth. The Right does the same, but wins more votes along the way by suggesting that “out-groups,” such as refugees, other immigrants, “gender-benders,” and intellectuals are responsible for middle and below-middle salaried workers losing their jobs and their savings, and taking all tax monies and benefits in foreign aid. These assertions are referred to as “dog-whistling,” and are commonly utilised by politicians to blame “out-groups” for the widespread pain actually caused by the depredations of global finance and assorted business behemoths.

Voting for either party thinking you are ridding yourself and your nation of trouble-making unions, welfare cheats, dole-bludgers, and foreigners is a mistake, because the agenda of both sides includes the globalisation of labour markets, an undermining of union power everywhere and the violent suppression of non-corporate nationalisms across the planet - all in the name of free-trade in the wonderful world of “laissez-fairyland.” Whatever the goals of this agenda, the results have been in the high-labour cost nations, such as Australia, the U.K., Europe and the U.S., a vast enrichment of a tiny financial elite, the defunding of socially-advantageous programs and regulations, the privatisation of art culture and essential government services, as well as financial decline for the majority of the citizenry (Frazer, 2017).

All of this relates to memes, as they very often express the frustrations we feel regarding these realities, and, due to the fact that they are mostly utilised for catharsis, they do very little to change or help the seemingly hopeless situations that the majority find themselves in. If the majority were to rally against change instead of poking fun at their situation, and the political predicament they find themselves in, they would be more likely to affect the changes needed to halt the ruination of democratic society, which is a far healthier alternative to essentially smiling while watching the world burn.

References

Frazer, P. (2017). When everybody does better: Building a movement for change. Griffith Review, 57, 70 -79.

McGraw, P., & Warner, J. (2014). The Humour Code: A Global Search for What Makes Things Funny. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Winkler, M. (2017). Poking mullock: The populist party, One Nation, and political jokes. Griffith Review, 57, 46 -58.

#political satire #memes #neoliberalism #politics #australian politics #western politics #satire #political comedy #time for change #the time is now #creativityisrebellion

1 note · View note

shadowphoenixrider · 6 years

Text

Okay, I doubt I will ever get to BFA in Draggka/Khadgar’s story at the speed I’m writing, so I decided just to write the overview here. Because I want to get it down and also because I can. This is going to get loooong!

Before they head to Argus, Khadgar uses his magic to bind both him and Draggka to objects on their persons, so they can keep an eye on one another, and sense if they need help. Draggka is bound to the Draenor ring, which she has been wearing on her neck, unable to part from it even when she found a stronger ring of power. Khadgar, however, binds himself to his collar, since he wears it most of the time. He still won’t tell her why he wore it before this binding, however.

Luckily they don’t really need it, and when they’re busy tussling through Antorus with everyone else, they’re mostly together so it doesn’t really matter. Still, it reassures each other, and occasionally they send their love through it.

(I don’t care what the game shows; everyone shows up to fight Argus at the end. Which means everyone gets one-shot, and Eonar drags us all kicking and screaming back to life. This is relevant, not just for me actually making canon characters pull their weight for once.)

They’re very dismayed to see Sargeras stab Azeroth before he’s put in the Naughty Chair for Badly-Behaved Titans. Khadgar almost slumps on the floor, whilst Draggka bitches loudly that they’re never going to get any peace.

They take some comfort in that whilst the giant sword needs to be dealt with, it’s not got the immediacy of ‘the Legion invading and going to kill us all’, so everyone can afford to take a bit of break. They all very tired, so they do take the opportunity for said break. And a low-key party too; enough people remember that the archmage owes them a banquet, much to his annoyance.

During this break, Khadgar goes hunting for a ring. You see, during Argus, he has a chat with several people and figures that if they manage to survive all this nonsense, he really has no excuse not to marry Draggka. I mean the world nearly ended, and might still end. Not the time to have regrets.

He manages to keep it secret enough that not even Draggka suspects he’s up to something; although rumours that he’s taken a lover (and a troll one at that) are now starting to filter around Dalaran and other places. Mainly because he went ‘I don’t give a flying fuck any more’ on the Vindacaar, and started to show Draggka more affection openly (he didn’t go yelling it from the rooftops though, and has only told Turlaoyn and Alleria straight at this time - anything else is inference).

He manages to find the perfect one (or he finds a good base and makes it better, I’m not 100% with that yet, nor what the ring actually looks like), and asks Draggka if she could maybe find some time to show him one of the wild places she’s always wanted to show him. Draggka takes him to Sholazar Basin when they manage to squeeze some time for themselves.

(Side note: Medivh already knows about Draggka/Khadgar, even before Khadgar told him in Karazhan 2: Demonic Boogaloo. He’s amused and pleased at their relationship, and has cultivated a warming friendship with Draggka.)

After a day spent exploring and admiring the Titan bits, they’re sat under a tree as the sun goes down when he asks her in his clumsy, sweetly shy way to marry him. She says yes, of course. Medivh throws confetti over them

Their wedding is a secret, low-key affair, attended only by close friends and family, and it is an inelegant merge of a human and Darkspear’s wedding rituals. Either way, their bond is sealed under the Light and the Loa to become life-mates, and that’s really all that matters. (There after, Khadgar wears his wedding ring under his gloves, whilst Draggka pierces hers into her nose, as per the Darkspear way.)

They take a honeymoon to Pandaria to fall off the radar for a week, and it is during this trip that Zal’ria is conceived. The pregnancy doesn’t become noticeable until a while after they get back (read: I still need to plot this out properly), when Draggka gets grumpier than usual and starts having bouts of nausea.

Tinkerspring is called, and she reveals the pregnancy to them, and unfortunately, this does not start off as a happy time. There is much talking and hand-wringing, due to the suddenness of the announcement, and the fact the world has a whacking great sword in it and is maybe dying. As well as the factions starting to look at each other with malevolent eyes. It is not the best time to bring a child into the world, but here they are.

They finally agree to keep the child, as they partly don’t know if this might be the only biological one they’ll ever have (what with them being different races and that Khadgar’s fertility at 50 really isn’t great), and that their little one is extra resolve to get this bloody sword done away with, so they can grow up happy and safe. So after this big long talk, they start telling close family/friends, organising where they’re going to raise the young’n, what the room’s gonna look like, etc, etc.

Then of course the war starts.

Draggka immediately alerts Khadgar that shit’s going down, though she can’t give him detailed information in case she’s seen to be engaging in treason (at this point Draggka’s Blood Oath to the Horde is starting to become questionable at best, and tenuous at worst). She manages to avoid direct conflict where possible, incapacitating night elves if she can, whilst keeping her people out of danger. Even so, she finds it very strange that her brother Dranka and her shaman friend Harnaka have been ordered down to Silithus, especially when the rest of her group is in Darkshore.

The Burning of Teldrassil is the straw that breaks the kodo’s back. Draggka is furious at Sylvanas, and also herself at being suckered into another Warchief for whom war crimes seem to be their bread and butter. She immediately flees to Karazhan and Khadgar and bursts into tears in the retelling.

(Dranka is told at this point, and Medivh relays the information to Camdyn/Varian, along with the caveat that Draggka and co. did not want this and will not stand in the way of anyone trying to kill the Banshee Queen - I’ve not yet decided what happens here, but Draggka may swear a Blood oath to Khadgar instead).

Draggka is present at the Battle of the Undercity, keeping up appearances, but she avoids combat again, staying to assist the Forsaken civilians in fleeing, and fighting anyone who tries to cut them down. The apparent loss of Saurfang shakes her, and deep down, this is probably when she starts not to associate herself with the Horde any more. She’s still quite tied to it, both through her friends, her tribe, and her honour (she will fight to aid and defend the races of the Horde), but she no longer includes herself as part of the faction. (That said, her feelings on this are very messed up, and may never be fully unravelled.)

She is roped in to sneaking about Stormwind to get Talanji and Zul out of prison, and she is both surprised and relieved to see that Saurfang is alive. She briefly converses with Saurfang, saying that she learnt from Garrosh, and will not allow herself to be used by Sylvanas. Draggka is appalled and upset by the fire Zul starts, but is unable to aid the citizens, so immediately starts to dislike him. This is exacerbated when Rokhan tells her that he was the one who was attempting to reunite the troll tribes (that Vol’jin opposed), and was behind the mogu nonsense on the Isle of Thunder.

Draggka checks in as soon as she can with a very anxious Khadgar (who sensed her danger on the docks facing Jaina, but was unable to teleport in due to magical interference) and explains what’s going on. From there, Draggka steps into helping the Zandalari and exploring Zandalar, in which she finds great amount of joy - with the combination of the wild jungles and the fact the Zandalari are essentially her people, if not just a little removed.

As Speaker of the Horde, Draggka uses this title to duck out of the War Campaign, leaving it to be handled by others like her brother and friends (also becoming disillusioned and highly mistrustful of Sylvanas), though she does aid in respects that don’t hurt the Alliance (such as hunting for food/materials, fighting faceless ones), and closes up Azerite wounds wherever possible. She does her best to avoid conflict with the Alliance (and those who are aware avoid her too, or just do their best to merely injure her, and vice versa), but if she must defend the Zandalari with deadly force, she does.

Despite everything going on, she makes time for Khadgar, either communicating with him through his Wisdomball, or using portal/hearthstones to return to Karazhan or Dalaran. However, after befriending the Nightborne Lasai, Khadgar receives a Zandalari disguise, that he uses to let Draggka show him around Dazar’alor and the jungles. They use it sparingly so the archmage doesn’t accidentally end up revealed.

During this time, Talanji and Draggka become close friends, and eventually Talanji discovers Draggka’s pregnancy and who her mate is. She’s...bemused, but likes the human mage, and is convinced that he bears her and her people no ill will. And she learns that there are many things afoot in Azeroth, not least the blood troll nonsense and the sudden appearance of Azerite. Draggka does not make comment on Sylvanas, but Talanji learns from Khadgar about the unrest in the Horde.

Draggka was to help her friends take down G’huun, but Dranka and the others fear that the Blood God may harm Draggka’s unborn baby, and go to Talanji for support. Draggka argues that her honour demands that she finish what she started, but a long conversation with Talanji and her brother (with Dranka correctly pointing out what happened with Aegwynn and Sargeras, and also it’s a fucking old god with power over blood that is definitely dangerous to a baby), she agrees to sit this one out.

She won’t be sitting out the Siege of Zuldazar, despite Camdyn and Khadgar’s best efforts (which is going to drive her poor mate mad, but he reluctantly admits that her honour is too strong, and she’s as stubborn as he is), although Khadgar will enchant her Draenor ring so as soon as she’s hurt badly, she’ll automatically teleport to safety. As much as he would want to rip apart whoever hurt her, it’s probably best he doesn’t get involved.

That said, I don’t have much down pat for the Zuldazar raid just because it’s on the PTR and we don’t know much aside from what has been datamined. I still need to do some proper plotting of Draggka’s pregnancy, which could shift things around.

#SPR rambles #draggka/khadgar #oc/khadgar #otp: walk on the wild side #mild bfa spoilers #headcanon #character development #writing reference #god i need to write more

5 notes · View notes

feynites · 7 years

Note

I think the A/B/O Arlathan AU is potentially the worst AU, like, so far it's even worse than the AU's where everyone dies. Upsetting is what it is. I almost regret asking about it at all. Can I prompt you for more? I mean, what will do Lavellan when Mythal(god do I hate her) does choose a suitable alpha to r̶a̶p̶e̶ pair with Pride? Will she ask someone like Merina or Melarue(they owe her) to volunteer and pretend to rut with him, or will she just go for straight up murder? pROTECT HIM

Around about the fourth day of his heat, Pride comes downfrom it enough to actually put on proper clothes, and hold consistentconversations. He drinks the tea that Lavellan and Thenvunin give him, readily,and asks questions about it. And about heats, and omegas; his cheeks flaming ashe gets some of them out. But Lavellan answers them, as comprehensively as shecan.

He doesn’t bring up the dead alpha, but she knows heremembers; and she knows Uthvir talks to him about it at one point, because shecatches the tail end of that conversation in the early dawn of Day Five, whenher own heat has her awake and frustrated, but otherwise not too badly off.

She feels a moment’s unease, when she realizes that Uthviris alone in the room with Pride. But though there’s a certain amount of tensionin the air, it’s not the kind that would make her really worry.

“-did for you. If you tell Mythal any of this, it will bethe last thing you ever do.”

“I… understand.”

There is a moment’s pause. Lavellan pushes the door open, andPride and Uthvir both look over at her. They are sitting by the window,overlooking the garden. Pride in a set of leggings and a silver-white tunic,Uthvir just short of being fully armoured.

For a moment, her nanae glances back at Pride, and they lockgazes. And then they turn, and head towards Lavellan.

“Were you threatening him?” she asks.

“Of course,” Uthvir says. “What do you want for breakfast? Ican go to the dining hall and get something.”

She sighs, but tells them to bring back something withberries in it, if available. And then she turns back to the room, as theyleave. And to Pride, who is looking at her, know. His features a touchinscrutable.

After a minute, she shuts the bedroom door behind her. Thescent of him is thick in the room, now, and so is the scent of heat. It’s notunpleasant, but then, that’s part of the issue, really. If it was acrid andsour and made her nose twitch in revulsion, she probably wouldn’t be here atall. Not even just in this room, but in this entire time period and situation.

Instead, though, it makes her ache. It’s warm and familiar, and though other scents have become familiar to her, in this time,the way it plucks at her memories and drags her back is inescapable. She has totake a moment, to inhale and then exhale again before she makes her way over toPride. Her gaze checking him over, looking for signs of injury, anxiousness,exhaustion. His eyes are clear, though. And apart from a delicate flush veryhigh on his cheeks, and the obvious scent, there’s not much to give away thathe’s one what will probably be the last day of his heat.

“I am sorry Uthvir threatened you,” she offers.

“They do not seem to think very highly of Mythal,” Pridereplies, his expression turning somewhat pensive. She remembers how Solas usedto speak of Mythal. Notes of tension, underlying a kind of nostalgicadmiration. Part of her finds she’s impatient with it, looking through the lensof her own perspective. Another part of her has seen how much worse things canbe for omegas in other territories, and understands him a little better, now,too.

“What do youthink?” she wonders.

Pride sighs, and runs a hand down the side of his face.

“I think I have disappointed her again,” he admits. “Omegasare not renowned for wisdom and temperance.”

“Are alphas?” she counters.

He frowns a little, at that.

“By implication, somewhat,” he says. “I confess, I… I do notunderstand some things. I would liketo speak with Mythal about them. I feel she could clarify the situation, but… Ihave no desire to cause trouble for you, either. You have helped me. Whateverelse may be true, and whatever the unfortunate circumstances created by myunexpected heat, I cannot deny that.”

Lavellan regards him for a moment, before she settles intothe window seat across from him. Out in the garden, a few of Thenvunin’s birdssquabble over one of the feeders. The sunlight filters through a few floweringvines, and casts pale green shadows over Pride’s hands.

“Perhaps I might be able to help clarify some things,” sheoffers.

Pride smiles, a little.

“You are hardly an unbiased source,” he points out.

“Is Mythal?” she wonders.

That has him going quiet again, for another long moment.Long enough that she wonders if he’ll just change the subject, as outside thewindow, one of Thenvunin’s purple and yellow songbirds ventures too close toScreecher’s nest, and is treated to a round scolding by the offended raptor.

“Mythal has her biases,” Pride at last concedes. “I do notunderstand why she would wish to keep things that could help omegas a secret,though. She is very concerned with their… with our safety, and good treatment, and responsible ways of helpingthem. Us.”

She looks back at him, but he’s staring out of the window,now, too.

“That is part of her vision for the future,” he continues.“To create a place where omegas have a chance to be safe and looked after.Where any alpha can obtain a good future for themselves, and their mates, onmerit of their skills and character. And betas can be free to pursue theirinterests, of course. This tea you gave me… it was like it calmed a storminside of me. There must be some cost, I suppose. Some grim reason why it isunwise to allow it to fall into wider use. I wish I could simply intuit it, butpart of me feels as though I must ask.”

Lavellan considers this, for a moment.

“I do not see why you could not ask Mythal after thepossibility,” she suggests. “You do not need to assert that I or anyone elsehas actually given you a remedy. All you need to know is that they exist, andthat she also knows that they exist – she must, to outlaw them – and then seewhat she tells you. And weigh it against what you have experienced, and whatyou have observed.”

Pride glances at her. And then at his hands.

“Omegas on the cusp of heat are not supposed to be able topunch trained alpha generals to death,” he notes. “Whatever I have beenobserving, it seems I have not been looking closely enough.”

She shrugs.

“There are consequences for killing people,” she says.

“I know,” he assures her, swiftly. “And I will not say aword of that. And I will not tell Mythal about the tea, but… if I shoulddiscover that there is some awful danger in it, would you accept thatinformation?”

He looks surprisingly anxious over that prospect.

Lavellan only shrugs again, though.

“I would listen. It would depend on what the informationwas, though,” she tells him. “But I would hear you out. I always… I mean, Ialways try to do that, where possible. For people. You would not be anexception to that rule.”

Pride offers her another, tentative smile, then. And notlong after that, Thenvunin rouses, and Uthvir returns with breakfast. The mealis a little awkward. Thenvunin doesn’t seem entirely sure of how to talk toPride, waffling between obvious distaste and reluctant sympathy, and what seemto be a few stray paternal instincts as well. Uthvir makes do with loomingsilently in the background a lot, while Pride does an admirable job ofpretending that it doesn’t unsettle him, and Lavellan alternates between tryingto make conversation and trying to get Uthvir to stop it with their MenacingAlpha bit because even if they’d decided that a reasonably-recovered Pride isnow, also, a potentially-dangerous one, he was just attacked during his first heat, and she has less than nodesire to exacerbate the trauma.

Eventually they catch her eye, and then at least sit down.

The overall mood doesn’t improve much throughout the day,though. Lavellan’s own heat is waning, being of a generally short duration, andby noon she’s pretty sure she’s at the end of it. Pride takes longer, thought,and she opts to stay until his own scent has evened out as well. Mirena ends upkeeping her distance; either because she’s discreet enough to know anotheralpha might upset things, or because Uthvir asks her to. She’s not sure.Possibly both.

Still. Before he finally leaves, Lavellan gives Pride a fewrecipes. Just simple things, to help reduce his scent and ease his heat, andmake him overall less conspicuous. She almost doesn’t let him walk down thecorridor on his own, half afraid that someone else is going to come leaping outof the shadows and try to force themselves on him again. And when Mirena does finally come, with reminders thatthey have commissions to go see to, now, and business to get back to, shewaffles on the prospect of leaving the palace.

How can she go, now? Now?With Pride here, and with the situation being what it is?

But part of her does want to go, in fact. Part of her wantsto race away, and get some space from it. Breathe, and sort out her own thoughtsand feelings, without the foggy-headed impediment of her heat, or the visceralreality of her dead lover’s past self staring at her with the same eyes.

Omegas are not considered well-matched with one another.Such pairings are derided, looked down on as, at best, acts of desperation –‘two omegas in heat will settle for one another, when no one better suited isaround’ – or even just generally non-existent. Incompatible. It’s the kind ofthing she’s heard elves in this time make jokes about, there’s even a crudeturn of phrase which is literally ‘two omegas trying to have sex with eachother’ and it’s used for situations when something that should be easy justisn’t working.

And that’s… the least of her issues, really. But she can’tsay that it’s not a factor, in some ways. That wanting… wishing…

Her reluctance isn’t subtle.

“Perhaps it is time for a break,” Mirena suggests. “For itsown sake, and not for mere matters of physical necessity. You have been workingvery hard, after all. I would say you have more than earned some leave, andproper family time. Or time to yourself, if you prefer.”

“I do not know if that is what I want,” Lavellan admits.“But thank you, Grandmother.”

Mirena reaches over, and pats her shoulder.

“I am very proud of you,” she says.

In the end, Lavellan does decide to take a break, of sorts.Uthvir’s duties are scheduled to see them away a few days after Pride’s heatends, and they go with uncharacteristically obvious reluctance. Mirena stillhas her commissions to take, and so after another few days it’s just Lavellanand Thenvunin, and Pride’s scent lingering in the walls of her room.

But her father seems very happy to have her with him, andshe finds that she’s glad to be able to keep an eye on him, too, all thingsconsidered. Pride is one of Mythal’s attendants-in-training, it seems, andLavellan finds herself catching sight of him every so often for about weekafter his heat. The rumour mill strikes up, of course. There’s some speculationthat Pride might be moved to Arlathan, now, to the pleasure district or to theestate there, or that he might even be apprenticed to Thenvunin to learn how ahigh-ranking omega ought to behave. Some people muse on the possibilities witha distinct air of satisfaction, as if a mystery or conundrum has been resolvedin a way that finally settles an issue – Mythal’s ‘new favourite’ is an omega. So of course, the rumour millgoes, he will be doted upon and spoiled and dressed in pretty things, taughtfine arts and service and sequestered in some lovely garden somewhere, when heis not draped beside her throne or upon her arm.

It makes her want to punch things.

Not least because when she sees Pride at Mythal’s side, he does look the part of a very well-keptpet. Whether he’s a wolf or an elf.

She wonders if he’s going to keep his distance, permanently.If that’s the better part of discretion. She wonders what Mythal has plannedfor him. Wonders how she could possibly help him, now, or if he even wants herto. There are so many machinations to sort through, so many layers of falsehoodand pretense and whatever the wheels of this empire keep turning for. Mythal’ssatisfaction?

She honestly doesn’t know.

Thenvunin can tell that she’s upset. He doesn’t really pry,though – she supposes the apparent sources of her discomfort are enough to keephim from suspecting others. But he fusses, and stays close, and after thatfirst week he suggests they take a day trip to one of Mythal’s nicer littlevillages, to get some supplies for her ‘cosmetics business’, and get away fromall the whispers of the palace. It’s been a long time since the two of themwere able to go somewhere, she realizes. Between her apprenticeship and onething and another, they haven’t had much chance. And she’s missed him, misseddoing things with him. They head through the crossroads before breakfast, andarrive in a floating village at the foot of the vast mountain range that splitsthrough Mythal’s territory. The Not-Quite-Frostbacks. Each mountain has its ownname, and the settlements in the region tend to be a lot more manageable thanthe bigger cities. The air is quieter; less saturated with magic.

In the end they wind up discussing actual cosmetics quite abit, as Thenvunin muses on some new form of body-glitter, and Lavellan absorbshis thoughts on the subject in case regurgitating them later should happen tobe useful. They eat breakfast in a little sunlit dining hall, and have lunchthere, too, and when their shopping is done, Thenvunin suggests they go for awalk in the fields just below the shadow of the village’s platform. Where thesun isn’t quite so high, and there are pleasant little meadows and farmland.

And a small halla pen, as it turns out. Where one ofGhilan’nain’s latest gifts to Mythal has been quietly sequestered, with a tenderwho wears Ghilan’nain’s vallaslin, but doesn’t object to Lavellan and Thenvuninwatching their charge graze. It makes something in her sink and soar at once,as the sight of halla always does. When the animal comes over, curious, thetender even lets her run a hand across its brow. It snuffs her hand, searchingfor treats; but those are delivered by its usual caretaker, who doesn’t trustthem any further than that.

She can’t say she blames them. A slip-up could mean theirdeath, after all.

When they finally head back, Lavellan glances suspiciouslyat Thenvunin.

“You knew this was here,” she accuses.

He reaches over and links his arm with hers, and pats herhand.

“I thought it would be a nice surprise,” he confesses. “Youhave been so upset lately. Not that I blame you, of course, that was adisgraceful business with Pride and… and, well, it never should have happenedto you, anyway. Uthvir and I should have gone to meet you straight at the gate,and we could have taken care of things. It’s all wrong, for you to have… donethat. Omegas need peaceful settings, to keep their equilibrium. If it were me Ithink I would still be shaking.”

Lavellan offers him a fond smile.

“Papa,” she says. “When I was ten you broke a table over ahunter’s head, and afterwards all you did was tell me to forget I saw it.” Thehunter in question had been making some less-than-child-appropriate comments toThenvunin; and she herself had been on the verge of trying to break his nose.But then her father had taken more offense to the fact that it was being done in front of her, it seemed, and brokenhis usual composure to issue a firm reprimand of his own.

“I recall no such thing,” Thenvunin tells her, lifting hischin just a little bit. “And if something like that had happened, it would still be very different.”

His hand tightens over hers, for a moment, as he frowns.

“I am alright,” she promises him.

It’s not… entirely true. But it’s also as true as its goingto get, under the circumstances.

And the trip helps. It helps enough so that when they getback to the palace, and find Pride waiting for them, she manages to look at himwithout feeling like the floor is dropping out from underneath her.

His scent is subtle, but still his and still recognizablyomega in notes. He’s dressed in soft blues, today, and off-whites, more subduedthan what she’s mostly seen him in. It compliments Thenvunin’s own lavenderensemble, and she wonders if this is a new trend for the attendants. Thethought makes her kind of glad that she never has to worry too much about whatshe wears, at least.

“Lavellan. Thenvunin,” Pride greets, outside of theirchambers. “I was wondering if we could speak?”

“Is it important?” Thenvunin asks him, frowning a littlewhen she nudges him.

“It could wait, if you would prefer,” Pride allows.

“Do we have something pressing to do?” Lavellan asksThenvunin, raising an eyebrow.

He glances at her, and then lets out a sigh.

“I suppose not,” he allows. “But it is nearly time for theevening meal…”

“I can retrieve some things from the dining hall,” Prideoffers.

Thenvunin sniffs.

“Oh, very well, then,” he says.

And so the three of them end up sitting in Thenvunin’sgarden, with a decent dinner spread on one of the little round glass tablesthere. Lavellan stows away the materials they picked up from the villagemarket; but after a moment, removes some of the willowbark. There was a goodprice on it, and she acquired plenty; and it is one of the ingredients in therecipes she gave to Pride. She segments off a few months’ work into a smallerpacket, and wraps it up, and when they’re settling in, she offers it to him.

“We went to one of the villages today,” she says. “I gotsome extra. Here, take it.”

Pride blinks, and then opens the little packet. And thenblinks again, before he nods at her in thanks.

“That is very kind,” he says. “I heard you had left thepalace. I am glad it was not for any untoward reasons.”

Thenvunin frowns.

“Why should it be for untoward reasons?” he asks, obviouslya little affronted.

Pride opens his mouth, and then closes it again. And then heoffers a gracious bow of his head. The little crystal toggles in his hair aresparkling.

“I do not know,” he admits. “Of late, it is beginning tofeel as if I do not know a great many things. But, that is not why I am here. Icame because I wish to apologize.”

Lavellan comes up a little short, at that. She can’t helpit. That voice is his voice, andthose tones are familiar tones. That note of remorse drifts straight throughher, passing the barriers of time and language. I am sorry.

She looks down at the table.

“You do not have anything to be sorry for,” she tells him.

��I must disagree,” he tells her. “I was careless, and mycarelessness was costly to you. And before that, I confess, I was dismissive ofyou, Thenvunin.”

She glances up again, and her father stills.

Pride carries on, resolutely.

“I had come to the conclusion that you were… frivolous. Andinconsiderate. Perhaps I bought into the notion of the ‘silly omega’, who isnot to be taken seriously. It was arrogant of me, and lacked perspective. If Ihave gained nothing else in this past week, it has been a great deal ofperspective. Though, again, it seems I understand very little of it,” heexplains. “But I wished to apologize. For all of it. I caused you all a greatdeal of trouble, and imposed greatly upon your family, and I am sorry.”

After a moment, Thenvunin clears his throat.

“Well. These things happen,” he finally says.

Pride nods.

The atmosphere around the table is a little difficult toread, after that. But gradually Thenvunin starts up a conversation on thelatest political scandal in Arlathan – one of Ghilan’nain’s attendants beingsuspected of passing information to the Nameless – and Pride is more thancapable of holding his own, in that. He peppers the discussion with a fewwell-placed questions that seem like small talk, but that actually yield quitea few answers on Lavellan’s own activities. She counters with the questions shemanages to muster up herself, and learns that Pride has not yet discovered alove for painting, but very much enjoys reading; that is he is good friendswith the Curiosity spirit in the library, and that he had aspired to fill therole of tactician and strategist, but that this all seems to be part and parcelof a desire to understand the world better.

Recent events have likely thrown him for more of a curvethan even she realized, in that case.

By the time he leaves, Thenvunin has calmed down enough tohave launched into a long-winded spiel on the pitfalls of minimalistaesthetics, while Pride argues against his stance with surprising fervour for aman wearing crystal hair toggles shaped like little wolf heads. Lavellansettles back, and listens to their voices, and breathes in the scents of themboth. Two ancient elves which she has such odd and convoluted ties to. Shesnacks on the last of the dinner offerings, and sneaks the last piece ofvenison to Screecher, who is being very well-behaved considering there is anunfamiliar elf in the garden.

“It is getting dark,” she points out, at length. Not thatshe particularly wants to end this experience, but she also doesn’t want Prideto walk back to his rooms in the dead of night.

Even if they arejust a hall down. It’s a hall filled with the chambers of other high-rankingelves, and most of them are alphas.

“Oh, so it is,” Thenvunin notes. And then he huffs, alittle. “Well. I suppose we should continue this tomorrow, in that case.Perhaps over lunch. If you would care to come and have another meal with us,Pride?”

Pride blinks, obviously a little surprised.

She can’t blame him. She’s a little surprised, too. ButThenvunin is unrepentant, and after a moment Pride agrees. He takes his leavewith a polite bow, and more thanks for the willowbark.

Lavellan glances at her father curiously, after he’s gone.

“You needn’t look so surprised,” he tells her. “You wereright. He needs looking after. And I am well aware that if I do not help withit, then you will still try and look after him, and I have no intention ofletting you do that. You have enough to be dealing with right now, and you arestill much too young to be mentoring other omegas, even in some casualcapacity.”

“I was not planning on mentoring him,” she says, which istrue. Helping, though… absolutely, she would do that. She doesn’t think she couldstop herself even if she tried.

Thenvunin sighs.

“I will speak to Mythal,” he decides. “She is hardlyill-qualified to look after his best interests, of course, but some things arebetter when explained from one omega to another. But if she tells me to leavehim well enough alone, then that will be it. For the both of us.”

“Of course,” Lavellan agrees, lightly, and in a way that makesher father look at her like he knowsshe would never respect such a decision.

Then he just sighs, again, and sweeps an arm around her,before heading off to tuck his birds in for the night.

The next week goes differently. And the one after that, asPride becomes a regular visitor to their chambers. Sometimes with questions orobservation about his status as an omega; but sometimes just for casualconversation, or issues on other topics. Sometimes he brings books that he’sbeen reading; sometimes he brings little offerings, too, of things he’s scrapedup that might be useful. Like the willowbark she first gave him. He brings herseed packets and dried herbs and, one afternoon, even manages to show up with aspare crate of empty cosmetics containers, mistakenly shipped in excess thanksto a clerical error.

Lavellan gives him a few more recipes, in return, andadvice, and during the second week even gives him one of her spare tea pots,which is very discreet and has an enchantment that renders the teas odourless.Much more discreet, for anyone brewing on the road.

Pride looks at it a little ruefully.

“I have never been a great fan of tea before,” he tells her.

I know.

“It has become more popular, these past few years,” shereplies.

He looks at her rather keenly, at that. And she remembersjust how sharp he can be.

“So it has,” he agrees, though, and then with a smile.

So, despite the cataclysmic clash of their reintroduction,life more or less picks up where it left off. Still the same, and still utterlychanged. Uthvir comes back from their assignment, carrying a tension that onlyseems to relax a little when they see herself and Thenvunin, there to greetthem at the gate. Lavellan’s break ends, and she goes back to travelling withMirena; somewhat assured that whatever Mythal’s plans, they do not seem to beoperating at a fast pace, and that Thenvunin and Pride will both look out forone another. Her apprenticeship continues.

Pride writes her letters.

Short ones, at first, peppered with questions – some ofwhich she thinks he already knows the answers to. But then longer ones follow,as they begin a pretty verbose string of conversations. Nothing incriminatingmakes it into the letters, of course, neither of them is that stupid. But theydon’t lack for subjects to talk about, either, and when they do skirt the edgesof appropriateness, it’s usually just to complain about the restrictions onwhat skills and lines of education are considered ‘appropriate’ for omegas.Pride is officially banned from reading books in the library that might ‘leadto hysterics’ – which is basically anything on warfare, politics, philosophy,or advanced magical theorem. The latter strikes him as the most frustrating,and Lavellan considers for a moment, before carefully mentioning that Uthvirhas an interest in certain advanced magical theories, and if Pride can think ofany books that they might be able tomake use of, they would probably appreciate the recommendation.

So they can get the books.

And then read them. Themselves. In the privacy of their chambers.Obviously.

Pride writes back that Uthvir is indeed very interested in avast array of subjects, and he is glad that he can at least help them pursuethese interests, even though he must abandon them himself in order to maintainhis ‘delicate equilibrium’.

She snorts at that.

Most of the rest of her correspondence is with her parents,or else with a ‘resource manager’ in the Pleasure District of Arlathan, who mayor may not be Melarue. Towards the end of the year she gets her first personalcommission in her capacity as Mirena’s apprentice, making a set of very fancyfishing attire for the manager of a small lakeside village, who wants to asserther rank a little more visibly when she is also engaged in community duties.

It is a nice commission, in fact, though Lavellan finds shedoes not particularly enjoy the work. The gear itself is alright, but all theaesthetic regulations and guidelines and restrictions she has to finesse herway around, on top of, in all honesty, a truly exhausting amount of hand-stitching, leaves her feeling morerelieved than anything when she finally gets it all squared away according tothe commissioner’s desires, the empire’s laws, and Mirena’s professionalsatisfaction as someone associated with the work.

It’s a major milestone of a fashion, though. And the nextyear sees her getting more commissions. Mostly from people who are in need ofsomething that marries her own capacity for practical gear with Mirena’sreputation for gorgeous styling. Her grandmother sorts through all of hercommissions, as her prerogative, and dismisses anything which she thinks wouldbe beyond Lavellan’s abilities, or would reflect badly on either of themsomehow. It’s a benefit of her own high rank; Lavellan knows that when her ownapprenticeship is over, she probably won’t be able to refuse commissionswithout providing very good reasons for it.

And she’ll be expected to complete the commissions ofhigh-ranking alphas first and foremost, and to submit to complaints, or toreprimands if the work is deemed subpar. Mirena knows it, too, and she wondersif that’s part of the reason why there’s been next to know talk of how long herapprenticeship is supposed to last for.

In one of her letters to Pride, she admits to her owndissatisfaction with her work. She doesn’t really want to live her life as aclothier in ancient Elvhenan. Part of her appreciates the relative peace of it,but part of her sincerely doubts that this is what Solas sent her back for, inany shape or form. There are things out there, that she needs to find. Needs todo. Needs to act on in order to stopthe future from going as it will, and part of her feels increasingly desperateat that thought. Drowning in her own uncertainty, as she wonders where sheshould be looking. What she should be looking for.

Can she kill every single evanuris?

Should she?

Falon’Din has claimed many of Andruil’s former followers,and he’s notoriously unpleasant. Elves suffer in the empire every day, and itseems they suffer the most in his lands, but Falon’Din guards himself verywell. And Lavellan didn’t grow up in his halls, the way she grew up inAndruil’s. She thinks about dismantling Elvhenan with her own two hands, andshe wonders what her old clan would make of it.

Of course, none of that gets into the letter to Pride. Justthe frustration, more or less.

Do you think it islike this for all of us? he wonders.

She doesn’t really ask who he means by ‘us’.

Yes, is what shesays. Simply. And then she changes the topic of conversation, because that’streading even closer to treason than the smuggled books or the angry wordsabout how ridiculous biological impulses can be.

When her next heat rolls around, Mirena takes her home.Going with her the entire way, this time, with Thenvunin and Uthvir bothwaiting for them at the gate. Lavellan tries to focus on being happy to seethem again, and not on the hyper-vigilance. Thenvunin enthuses over the detailsof her latest commissions, and Uthvir walks beside her, and tells her thatthey’ve brought back some interesting materials from a few personal hunts, andthat she’s welcome to claim anything which strikes her eye from the spoils.

Pride greets them, at the palace.

She’s a little surprised to see some of the changes on him.

There’s nothing concrete.He still smells the same, and looks mostly the same. But he’s wearing his hairloose, and he’s dressed the way Thenvunin used to, before he and Uthvir gotmarried; a high collar up to his neck, and gloves down to his fingertips, withthe kind of long skirt that’s very useful for hiding knives. His nails arepainted, and so are his lips, and there’s something about the overall pictureof him that strikes her as… not quite right.

It’s not any of the individual elements. It’s more… sheremembers what he was like. Before she left. And she remembers what he could be like, in another lifetime. And thiscarefully styled person in front of her seems almost more like a painting ofPride the Respectable Omega, draped loosely over the framework of the actualperson underneath.

Her fingers twitch. Wanting to pull it off – and that’s abad impulse, she knows, because it’d probably do him more harm than good.

But then he smiles, genuinely, and some of the wrongnessfalls away.

“Lavellan!” he greets. “Welcome back to the palace. It isgood to see you again.”

Her face heats, just a little, at his enthusiasm. She’llblame it on the time of year if anyone asks, she thinks, as she returns hissmile.

“It is good to be back,” she replies, mindful of the publicspace. “I hope you are well?”

“Very well,” Pride agrees. “I wanted to see you before Imust be sequestered. You parents have spoken of little else besides yourimpending return; I am sorry I will be too indisposed to see you for most ofit.”

She feels a pang of her own regret, at that.

“What are you accommodations like?” she wonders, before sherecalls that that’s… not a totally appropriate question. But Pride just smiles,in a way that relieves her of someworry that he’s just being shunted off to some strange alpha’s ‘care’.

“I am staying in my chambers,” he admits. “There aresleeping remedies which are especially suitable for Dreaming-born omegas, whichI will avail myself of. Thenvunin has offered to check in on me, and ensure Iam remaining hydrated; given that he will already be seeing to your own care,it was very generous of him.”

“It is practical,” Thenvunin insists. “I have leave, and itwill not take up too much of my time.”

Lavellan raises an eyebrow at both of them, but is mostlyjust relieved.

“Good,” she decides.

She honestly does think that’s the end of it, too, untillater that evening; when one of the adjacent garden gates opens, and Pridecomes through. Greeted by Uthvir, who offers her a smile as they approachherself and Thenvunin, and Mirena, in the sitting room next to the exteriordoors.

She can’t smell anythingon Pride, but then, that is how her scent is at the moment, too. Remedies doingtheir work at squaring away the worst of the symptoms. Pride’s cheeks are alittle flushed, but that could from a little wind as much anything, and he sitsfairly close to her, but that could also just be because the available seatingis limited anyway.

“Mythal moved my chambers next door, a few months after youleft,” he explains. “The gardens are adjacent. I hope you do not mind? Somediscreet visits seemed like they might stave off boredom, but if you wouldprefer I did not intrude…”

“No!” she assures him, reaching out and brushing his arm.Before she hastily retracts her touch, and clears her throat. “It is more thanfine.”

Pride smiles.

They spend the better part of the evening talking about someof the things they had discussed in their letters, then, in better detail.Pride is surprisingly comfortable in her parents’ chambers, and shows her someof the books which Uthvir helped him acquire. Not only those claimed from thelibraries, but also personal copies retrieved from sellers in Arlathan.

“I think Mythal knows,” he confesses, somewhat seriously,after Mirena retires for the night, and Thenvunin and Uthvir both head off tothe garden. “About the books, in specific. I do not think she minds, but, Iwould not want Uthvir to come to trouble over it, so I have asked them to stop,lest we cross the lines of what is covertly acceptable. I am still not quiteconfident in where that dividing line lies.”

She feels a pang, at that.

But she doesn’t want Uthvir getting into trouble over it,either.

“Maybe you could come and visit Mirena and I at some point,”she suggests. “Grandmother’s rank is quite high. I am certain we could take atrip to one of the outlying cities, and find all manner of things that could bediscreetly packed for a return trip.”

Pride leans in a little closer. His nostrils twitching, justa bit.

“That is very generous,” he says. “I do not think I couldmanage it any time soon… but I would like to visit with you. And not just forthe books.”

Her heart speeds up, a little, and she wonders if he knowswhat he’s doing. But then he seems content to just lean close to her, for awhile, breathing in like he’s trying to catch her scent. And she finds herselfreciprocating, despite her better judgement.

It’s not as if they’re actuallycrossing any lines, really. They’re just sitting together, close to oneanother. And at the moment if she could take some kind of liberty, it wouldprobably just be to rest her head against his shoulder. And possibly to cry,because emotions are always harder to manage this time, and she’s never found areally effective remedy for that. It might just be habit, at this point.

They’re still sort of basking in one another a little whenher parents come back. Thenvunin doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss, as hegets Pride to say his goodbyes and then escorts him back through the gardenagain.

But Uthvir gives her a very calculating sort of look.

“You like him,” they guess.

She doesn’t do them the disservice of pretending she doesn’tknow what type of fondness they’re referring to.

Instead, after a moment, she just nods.

They look at her, and then they close their eyes.

“I am sorry,” they offer.

She knows why they’re apologizing, too. It’s not an easyprospect, any which way she looks at it right now, and she doubts they could dovery much to improve that situation themselves. But it… never has been an easysituation, has it? Not even when she thoughtthings were much simpler, back before she could have even conceived of her lifenow.

It’s never stopped her from wanting him.

“It is what it is,” she reasons.

And what is, is something she gives up on properly definingafter the second day. Pride visits, and stays, and they read books, and talk.She spends time with him, and time with her family, and has feelings that justsort of wash through her behind the weight of her suppressed heat, and come outin odd bursts of affection and sorrow, and old grief dug up and settled intothe framework of new fears. She and Pride seem incapable of not leaning intowards one another, to the point where if they start a conversation onopposite ends of a room, they usually finish it standing close enough to touch.

Mirena leaves to go and deal with an emergency repair job,on the third day. Lavellan’s heat finishes out sooner than Pride’s, again, butonce they’re both safely ‘out of the woods’, Thenvunin suggests they go foranother day trip to celebrate. This time with Uthvir, and to Arlathan. Theyvisit Mythal’s new garden. Pride goes as a wolf, and Lavellan doesn’t reallyblame him; she still feels uneasy enough herself that she’s practically gluedto her parents’ sides. But it’s… nice. To spend the day, walking around,visiting the market stalls and some of the smaller shops. Breathing in thevaried scents of the city, and being surrounded by people of all sorts.

When they get back, one of Mythal’s beta attendantsapproaches them.

“Our Lady wishes to see you,” they say, to her.

“Us?” Thenvunin asks, gesturing between himself and Pride.

“Just Lavellan,” the attendant clarifies. “Alone.”

The tension in the air ratchet up a notch.

Lavellan manages a smile, and a nod. A glance back at herparents, and at Pride, before she falls dutifully into step alongside herescort.

“Did our lady, perchance, mention what she wished to see mefor?” she wonders.

“She did not,” the attendant tells her.

Fortunately for her outlook, they don’t make their way to afilled throne room; but rather to the private meeting chamber behind it. Mythalis lounging in what seems to be a recently acquired chez, with very fine velvetupholstery. Compassion is lingering at the edges of the room, but with agesture from Mythal, slips away towards the Dreaming.

Lavellan bows.

“My lady,” she greets.

Mythal treats her to an assessing look.

“Lavellan,” she acknowledges. “You are looking better than Iexpected, for having endured yet another heat on your own.”

She hesitates, a moment. That’s… not a good subject to bestarting out on, though it could also be small talk.

Maybe.

“Thank you,” she says, either way, as Mythal gestures forher to take the seat across from her. “I have never been unduly afflicted, assome are. It is a fortunate thing. I dislike being drawn away from my duties,although it is pleasant to visit with my parents, and to see the palace wallsso regularly.”

“We are always pleased to welcome you back,” Mythal assuresher. “Which is, of course, why I wished to speak with you. It occurred to methat last year we scarcely spoke – under the circumstances, I was beside myselfwith Pride’s matters. But it does no good to neglect one of my omegas foranother.”

She has to bite back a degree of distaste, at the assertionthat she is Mythal’s omega.

“I have my nanae and grandmother to look out for me. But Iappreciate your interest, my lady. I have been doing quite well,” she offers,instead.

“Yes. You began accepting independent commissions this year,I understand it,” Mythal agrees. “Pride mentioned that. Such a milestone. Mostapprentices begin to consider finding other masters to serve under, at thisstage. To diversity their crafts, or to branch out into other interests. Do youhave other interests, apart from clothing design?”

Well.

Shit.

She considers her options, quickly. Denying it is not good,her cover is official. Truth it is, then.

“I have been developing some cosmetics, in my spare time,”she admits. “I do not know how good they would be considered. It is not aformal matter; I give the results to some of the workers in the PleasureDistrict, to make free use of. If they can.”

Mythal smiles at her.

“You are a very giving sort,” she says. “it is a credit tome. But I have been wondering if you are truly cut out for the work whichMirena has you doing. I took the liberty of looking into some of yourcommissions. As an assistant you seem to be exemplary, but independently, Ifear some of your pieces slide towards mediocrity. Not that there is anythingwrong with that. Omegas fill a vital supporting role in the empire, and I thinkyour grandmother would benefit greatly from having your assistanceindefinitely. But that would be selfish of her, perhaps. An omega is nevertruly happy without a bonded mate to claim them.”

Lavellan goes cold.

This is not the direction she was expecting the conversationto veer, and arguably, this path is almost worse.

“I am happy to help my family,” she tries.

“Of course you are,” Mythal agrees. “You are a sweet andgenerous soul, but I hate to think of you being lonely through so many yearsand so many heats. Loneliness can make things fuzzy for omegas, at times.Confuse them. Push them towards inadvisable dalliances.”

“I am not lonely,” she counters, resolutely. “I appreciateyour great concern, my lady, but-“

“It is alright,” Mythal assures her, shushing her as if shehad raised her voice, when she’s pretty certain she hadn’t. “Do not upsetyourself. Many omegas are wary of the prospect of change, it is a frighteningand unstable thing. But it still must be done, at times. Your caretakers havedone an exemplary job, but I think it is time you ventured out from under theirwings. One of my alchemists in Arlathan has been looking for an omega to takeon as an apprentice and partner for their ruts. I think the two of you would bemost well-suited to one another. And it would be a good opportunity for you toexplore more of the options available to you.”

She feels like a block of ice, now. Like a heavy, heavy block of ice, and for a moment sheremembers the colour of Andruil’s blood. The look in her eyes, as the lifefaded out of them. The scent of the alpha she had tackled off of Pride, and theway Corypheus’ expression had twisted as she tore him apart.

Mythal is still talking.

“Of course, should you two prove unsuited to one another,then other arrangements can be made,” she says. “I plan to speak with Mirena onthe matter, but I thought it wise to inform you, first. You have been a verygreat help to Pride, after all. I would not want to see you treated withdiscourtesy, or feel as if your opinions are being overlooked.”

She swallows down the sandpaper in her throat.

“My opinion is that I would prefer to continue on in myapprenticeship with Mirena,” she offers.

“Calm down,” Mythal tells her.

She is calm,though. Her emotions are restrained; her voice is low.

“Ah, dear,” the evanuris sighs. “I see you are distraught.Perhaps I should have had Uthvir present for this conversation after all. Well.No matter. You do not need to worry yourself; everything will be sorted, andyou will be looked after. Perhaps it would be best for you to return to yourchambers, with my apologies to your parents for inadvertently distressing you.”

The dismissal is very clear.

Lavellan meets Mythal’s golden gaze for a moment, before shestands and makes her way out of the room.

So.

Mythal has decided that she’s been spending too much timewith Pride, for whatever reason. Maybe she deduced that they were meetingduring his heat, and jumped to the wrong conclusion. Or even the right one.Maybe, whatever her plans for him, Lavellan has begun to look too much like animpediment. And what does one do with an unbonded omega who’s interfering withthings?

Send them to some alpha alchemist in Arlathan, apparently.

She swallows. Her throat still feels too dry.

What does she do?

She could run. Uthvir and Thenvunin would likely be punishedfor that, though. Mirena, too, probably. She could kill the alchemist; but shedoesn’t actually know what they’re like, come to it, and aside from that, thealpha who accosted Pride last year is still ‘missing’. The bodies would startto add up, after a point. And then ‘punishments’ would become ‘executions’,most likely…

She could kill Mythal.

That would really upsetthe status quo, she imagines. But right now, Mythal is the main force thatseems to be keeping the likes of Falon’Din in some kind of check. And Elgar’nan’sreaction would be dramatic, and she honestly doesn’t know which direction itwould go in.

A lot of people could – would – die. Even just Andruil’sdeath had resulted in a great deal of suffering, however justified it had been.

What does she do?

She stands outside the door to her parents chambers. Roomsshe grew up in, for a second time.

What will they do?

The door opens.

Pride blinks at her.

“You are back,” he says. “That did not take very long. Whatdid Mythal want?”

She hesitates. Mythalwants to get rid of me. Because of you. Because my fate is always being decidedin terms of how it relates to you, it seems.

But this isn’t his fault. Not this time, at least.

“Come with me?” she asks. Nodding down towards the hall.Pride glances back towards the chambers, before inclining his head inagreement. His brows furrow in concern, as she leads him away from Uthvir andThenvunin and Mirena. Up three flights of stairs, and off to a little alcovewhere she’s relatively sure there are no listening devices of any kind.

“Mythal wants to pair me off with some alpha living inArlathan,” she tells him.

His expression drops.

“I… what?” he asks, as if she’s just said somethingincomprehensible.

“Mythal,” she replies, and little more clearly. And withmaybe more anger, now, too. “Is going to end my apprenticeship with mygrandmother, and send me to Arlathan. There is an alpha there, an alchemist,who has been looking for an ‘omega apprentice’ to help with his craft and easehis ruts. She intends for that to be me, now.”

Pride looks like she just dumped a bucket of cold water overhis head. She wonders why he’s sosurprised, for a moment; but only for a moment. Most of her energy gets takenup, subsequently, with the question that’s still beating at the back of hermind like the tempo of a drum. What do Ido?

It’s frustrating that the answers her gut keeps trying tothrow back up to her are fight and run, because she also can’t figure outhow to make those two work.

But maybe…

Maybe the prevailing image of the unreasonable omega canwork to her advantage, now.

“Hysteria,” she decides, and then catches Pride’s gaze. “Youcan tell everyone I was hysterical. That it was frightening to you. That I ranoff without seeming to know where I was going or what I was doing. Perhaps ifyou make it clear enough that it was a spur-of-the-moment thing… then I canflee, and she will not be able to punish my parents for it.” Where would shego? To the wilderness, she supposes. She knows how to survive that, and no onereally expects her to.

Pride looks aghast.

“No,” he says, reaching out to touch her arm. “Calm down,and do not be rash.”

“I am calm!” shesnaps, pulling away a little. “But what is the point? I can calmly walk to thisfate, and people will say ‘obviously it is not so bad, if she is so calm aboutit’. Or I can protest, and people will say ‘look at that raving omega, clearlyshe is much too emotional to decidethings for herself’. If I go along with this I will wind up essentially given to some strange alpha I do noteven know, and if I do not, then it will fall on my parents for raising such anunruly omega, and Mythal will probably stillfind some way to get rid of me or make me compliant, and punish them, too...”

Pride’s grip on her arm tightens, just a little.

“Lavellan,” he says.

She lets out a breath, and realizes that while she might notactually be hysterical, she’s… probably no longer calm.

“I will talk to Mythal,” he tells her. “She probably doesthink she is doing what is best for you. She is an alpha, she does not always understandthings from that side. As much as I have come to question some of herapproaches in this regard, she is still not a cruel person.”

Lavellan stares at him, utterly uncomprehending for amoment.

“Why do you think that?” she wonders.

Pride seems equally taken aback by that question. But thenhe recovers, a moment later.

“Because she has been kind to me,” he supplies. “Where shedid not need to be kind. Her greatest desire is to make the world better. Ibelieve her vision is true – even when it becomes diverted by bias, sometimes.Or the actions of others. She is the best leader we have.”

She was the best ofthem.

Lavellan lets out a breath.

“I might only have this one chance at it,” she tells him,holding his gaze. “If you do not help me, I do not know when I will getanother. And you want me to gamble that on Mythal’s compassion? When she hasorchestrated all of this to begin with?”

Pride meets her stare with his own conviction.

“She will listen,” he insists.

And what if she does?What price will she demand from you, in turn?

“Please,” Lavellan tries.

And then her breath catches, as Pride glances down thecorridor, once, and then moves in and puts his arms around her. Catching her ina surprisingly fierce embrace, close enough that she can feel his own heartbeating surprisingly fast.

“I will not let it happen,” he promises her. “You helped me.I will help you – trust me.”

Dammit.

She closes her eyes, and lets out a breath. With their heatsdone with, his scent isn’t being fully blocked anymore. It seems to drift overher, along with his emotions; a warmth and conviction, painful familiarity anda certain degree of dissonance, too, that makes her think of all those lettersthey’ve written. Of herself, standing in front of Solas.

I would have had youtrust me.

It’s a mistake.

She knows it’s amistake.

But some part of her still doesn’t know what to do. And soafter a moment, she relents. Maybe it was a bad idea anyway. Maybe talking is abetter one. Maybe this is all part of some large game that Mythal is playingwith Pride, rather than her; trying to make some kind of point. Maybe, if shejust steps back for a moment, the world will right itself…

But when has that everbeen the case?

Pride walks her back to her parents’ chambers, and headsoff, with one last squeeze of her hand.

What do I do?

Uthvir opens the door, this time, while she’s lingeringbeyond it.

They take one look at her, and then pull her quickly intothe room.

“It is not the dead man, or else you would be in a holdingcell,” they note. They’re wearing their armour, and the air around them istight and closed-off. Usually a good sign that they’re actually very upset. “Whathappened?”

“Mythal wants to transfer my apprenticeship,” she admits. “Thereis an alchemist in Arlathan who has been looking for an omega…”

She can’t quite get the rest of it out. It’s harder,somehow, trying to spit out the implications to Uthvir.

But then again, with them, she doesn’t really need to.

She can see the gears in their head turning.

“Stay with Thenvunin,” they tell her, after a moment. Theyclasp her shoulder, and then move towards the door again.

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“To blackmail someone,” they admit, but then they won’toffer any further details, before heading out.

Lavellan debates following them – she’s had enough of beingordered around today – but then she takes a breath, and goes to find Thenvunininstead. It doesn’t take long, he hurries over to her as soon as he sees her,and asks her what Mythal wanted. For the third time she find herself explainingit; and when she does he seems just as unhappy about it as everyone else.

“You stay with Screecher,” he tells her. “I have to go andtake care of some things.”

“Uthvir went to blackmail someone,” she supplies, with aprofound internal sigh.

“That is very nice of them,” Thenvunin says. “Where did Iput my cloak…?”

Reaching over towards the chair by the door, she plucks itup, and hands it to him. Her insides feel like someone has thrown them into ahurricane; but in the midst of it all, she does feel a warm rush of gratitude.

And a profound hope that her family isn’t diving headlonginto inadvisable contingency plans.

“Maybe I should come with you…” she suggests.

Thenvunin leans over, and gives her a reassuring half-hug.

“No, no, everything will be fine,” he tells her. “You juststay here and regain your equilibrium. And do not worry a bit, I have nointention of letting you be parcelled off to some – some alchemist.”

Their being an alchemist isn’t actually the objectionablepart, but she suspects Thenvunin already knows that, as he sniffs and kissesher temple, and then makes his way out of the door.

And so, she thinks. Pride is talking to Mythal, Uthvir isblackmailing whoever they’ve decided to blackmail, and Thenvunin is… doingsomething, too.

She supposes she might as well check the emergency escaperoutes, if nothing else.

After about an hour, Pride comes back. He’s very quiet, withthe look of someone who has just had his faith in the world badly shaken. Shedoesn’t ask how well his efforts with Mythal went, at first – his expression ispretty telling, in a way that makes a piece of hope she didn’t even realize shestill had for the evanuris vanish into a puff of smoke. Instead she takes himwith her to go and feed the birds in the garden, awkward silence permeating theatmosphere.

Maybe, she thinks, if she goes, she can just drug thealchemist. Maybe she can make it look like they’re starting to drift towardsuthenera of their own accord. She does have a year until her next heat, afterall… although she doesn’t know when their next rut is supposed to be, but thenagain, if she gets him to sleep through it… unwittingly… somehow…

“I am sorry,” Pride offers. He’s looking at one of Thenvunin’stiny fat birds. But after a moment, he turns to meet her gaze directly. “Youwere right.”

She lets out a breath.

“I will figure something else out,” she assures him. “Somehow.”

“If I was an alpha, this would not be an issue,” Pridenotes.

“And why not?” she wonders.

“Because then Icould…”

He trails off, and then swallows.

“I am sorry. That is presumptuous, too, I suppose. To thinkthat if I was an alpha, I could just claim you for myself… that is still predicatedon the notion that anyone should bedoing these kinds of things. Overriding whatever you may want for yourself, todecide what is best for you…” he trails off, and makes a soft sound offrustration. “This seems neither wise nor compassionate to me, no matter howMythal tries to explain it.”

“That is because it isneither wise nor compassionate,” she agrees. Trying not to think too hard aboutthe implication that he wants to be with her. Again. And cannot.

Again.

Pride goes quiet, for another moment. Some of the birds peckimpatiently at his fingers, until he resumes feeding them.

“I will find anotherway to convince her,” he promises her. “I know things. People tend tounderestimate me, but I have not stopped seeing and listening and thinking,just because my scent has changed. If forthrightness has failed, then I will beunderhanded.”

Lavellan lets out a breath, and shakes her head.

“Not that I disapprove,” she says. “But you will probablyneed whatever means you are thinking of to avail yourself, sooner or later. Ifwe are going to talk about Mythal’s deficits, then it probably bears mentioningthat whatever plans she has for you are not… that you may find yourself inuntenable positions, in the years to come, and she will not help you. She maywell be the hand behind such things. You must keep yourself safe, too.”

Pride frowns.

And after a moment, he moves towards her. His expressionshifting, as she turns to fully face him as well. Falling into somethingsofter, and much more perilous than the frown. Her fingers twitch. When hishand brushes her cheek, she lets out a breath, and then draws in another one.Whatever happens, Mythal has decided that her interactions with Pride are to bediscouraged.

So. Whatever happens, this might be the last chance she getsto be alone with him, like this.

“Would you mind if I kissed you?” she wonders. Maybe sheshouldn’t. Maybe there are simply too many factors that he doesn’t know about,too many complications and maybe she never should have kissed him, not once,not in any strand of fate…

He leans in, and brushes his lips against her.

Everything else falls away, for a moment.

She reaches up, framing his face with her hands as she pullshim closer. His lips are soft, and his scent is strong. His movements a littleuncertain, but she doesn’t press him. Just moulds their mouths together, for amoment, and drifts away into the warmth of it. His arms close around her, andshe shifts her touch in return. Brushing her thumb over the tip of his ear,before burying her fingers into his hair. A tiny gasp escapes him, when theirlips finally part again. Just a single, revelatory breath, as if the last pieceof a puzzle has clicked into place.

She knows it isn’treally the last answer to the mysteries between them. But for a moment,everything does feel like it makes a perfect kind of sense.

“You.”

She blinks at the sound of Thenvunin’s voice, and Pridestiffens. In unison, they glance over to see her father standing in the garden,levelling an accusatory glare at Pride.

“How dare you!” hesays. “Kissing – just – just, what doyou think you are doing?!”

“Kissing. Like you said,” Lavellan offers.

Pride looks a lot more uncertain, though, and Thenvunin’semotions are a whirl of shock and anger, and other, strained emotions that wereprobably brought to the forefront by the current situation.

“Get your hands off of my daughter!” he settles oninsisting, as he makes his way over. “Do you think you can just – just stand inmy garden, and kiss her? This is her home, this is a safe place, we let you in here, how dare you take liberties withLavellan when she is vulnerable and distraught! Do you think I would let thisslide just because you are an omega? Because-”

“Papa,” she interjects, and lets Pride go, but mostly forthe sake of intercepting Thenvunin before he does something particularlyinadvisable. Like pick a fight. “It is alright, I want to kiss him. My heat is over, remember? And I have wanted tokiss him when it was nowhere even in sight, I promise. He is not doing anythingunwelcome.”

Thenvunin’s outrage deflates, just a little. Crumbling intoa kind of painful uncertainty.

“But… you… him?”he manages to get out, gesturing derisively at Pride. Who winces.

“Stop that!” she scolds, a little more sharply than shemeans to. But the moment has pretty thoroughly broken, and now that Thenvunin’sback, and reality is asserting itself again, it’s bringing with it all thepainful uncertainties of her fate, too.

She draws in a long breath, and lets it out again. Gardensmells, Pride’s scent, Thenvunin’s. Emotions whirling, nerves high.

“We can talk about it later,” she decides. “But please,Papa. If you are going to second guess my choices, can we not do it immediatelyafter Mythal has just decided to dictate my future to me? Because I would muchrather be considered the chief authority on who I should be kissing, please andthank you.”

Thenvunin deflates further.

“I did not mean to imply that you should not be,” he offers.Glancing narrowly at Pride, for a moment. “I only… I was surprised.”

“I know,” she allows.

Pride shifts.

“I apologize for the indiscretion,” he offers.

She sighs.

Thenvunin sniffs.

“Yes. Well,” her father says, still bristling quite a bit. “Youcan just… go now. We can discuss this later.”

Pride nods, and Lavellan isn’t sure if it’s a relief or awrench to watch him direct a softer look towards her, again, before heading offfor the gate to his own garden. Maybe they should have gone there before they started kissing oneanother. Not that it was exactly planned out…

Thenvunin tsk’s, once Pride is gone, and starts fussing overher a little. Straightening out imaginary wrinkles and acting like she’s aten-year-old with grass stained skirts again.

“Papa,” she protests, after a minute.

He hesitates, and then relents. Taking her hand and guidingher over to some of the garden seats.

“I spoke with the petitions manager,” he admits. “That alchemist is probably an elf namedRenathel. They have a shop in the city, although they only take commissions byorder and have not been able to keep a stocked shopfront. I have not been ableto turn up anything immediately discrediting about them, though of course, ifthey are the sort to make requests of this nature, then they are questionableenough. I sent a message to your grandmother, and to a festivities planner inArlathan who owes me a favour. This Renathel will be withdrawing their requestin short order, even if I must go to the city and beat them over the headmyself.”

“And if Mythal just finds someone else?” she wonders.

“Why should she?” Thenvunin counters. “You are doing very well in your apprenticeship, I haveno idea why she would want to disrupt it in the first place.”

Lavellan debates on how mentioning the likely reason forthis entire debacle might go over. Considering Thenvunin’s immediate reaction, not well, she imagines. He might forgive Pridefor kissing her – she’s not sure he’s even really upset about that on its ownmerits, or just because everything is already so tightly wound right now – butshe can’t imagine he’d be pleased to discover that Mythal is probably trying toget rid of her because she figuredout a few disagreeable things about their closeness.

And if Thenvunin holds a grudge against Pride, how likelywould he be to help him, should theneed arise?

She looks at the man, whose brows are still furrowed.

…Then again. Then again, maybe she’s not giving him enoughcredit, either. Because she thinks that if she asked, he’d still do his best tohelp – whether to help her, or to help someone she thought deserved it.

That’s how things have gone so far, after all.

“Mythal knows that Pride and I… that we are getting alongsurprisingly well,” she admits. “I think she disapproves.”

Thenvunin’s lips thin. He opens his mouth, and then closesit again.

“…Oh,” he manages.

Awkward silence descends. She watches his expression shiftthrough varying degrees of outrage, before finally settling into somethingoverall frustrated and sad.

“It seems a silly thing to make a fuss over,” he finallydecides, as if he hadn’t just made a fuss over it himself. Despite everything,her lips twitch.

“Really?” she asks.

He sniffs.

“Of course. After all, Pride has done very well for himself.And a lack of proper omega influences in his life was probably part of the reasonhe got into that… situation, to begin with. It is not as though the two of youspending time together has proven costly. You are doing very well, just as Isaid, and so is he. And there is Uthvir, and my mother, of course, if anyonewould care to make a fuss about a lack of alphas about. Plenty of variedinfluences to go around.”

“I doubt Mythal is looking at it that way,” she points out.

Thenvunin hesitates.

“Perhaps… more discretion…?” he ventures, tentatively.

“Papa. You did noteven notice until you saw us kissing,” she points out. “I doubt our lack ofdiscretion is what is concerning her, here.”

Thenvunin doesn’t seem to know what to do, at that. After afew minutes of silent contemplation, he straightens his shoulders, andnevertheless does his best to assure that things will be fine. They’ll find asolution. At least if this Renathel withdraws their request, Mythal will haveto find another suitable avenue to shunt her down into. Maybe, Thenvuninthinks, if she and Pride maintain a certain degree of distance, her ‘concerns’over them will be assuaged in the time it takes her to find something else.

Uthvir comes back just when she’s starting to get worriedabout them, then. And while they don’t offer up as many details about their ownactivities, they do seem calmer. They also don’t seem very surprised whenThenvunin has a minor meltdown and starts going on about her and Pride andMythal and sketchy alchemists, among other things. They just let him vent, andthen go about doing their best to assure him – and her, too – that they haveSeen To Matters. But also that it’s better if they don’t ask how, because of plausible deniability,it seems.

Lavellan’s willing to trust them.

It doesn’t stop her from wondering if she should still make some attempt atfleeing into the night, though. Or committing murder.

…She needs a better set of innate problem-solving methods, probably.

It keeps her up, though, long after Thenvunin has retiredfor the evening, and Uthvir has gone back out again. Thoroughly enough thatwhen the moon is high, and she’s reasonably sure that her father is actuallysleeping, she heads through the gardens and into the adjacent ones.

It’s her first time seeing the neighbouring garden. It’s alittle smaller than Thenvunin’s, and, though she would never say as much,tidier, too. Fewer bright blooming flowers and roosting birds, and more softlybabbling fountains and neatly tended plots of tiny, white blossoms. The gardenstones are smooth and shine in the moonlight, but she sticks to the darkerareas around the path – just in case – as she makes her way towards the archeddoorway, that leads into Pride’s chambers.

Light spills into the gardens.

She knocks, and wonders if he’s even awake.

But after a moment, the door eases open. Pride is standingon the other side. Dressed in a loose white robe, with a fluffy fur trim, and aslightly brittle look to him that makes her heart twist.

“I am sorry,” she tells him.

He makes a pained sound, before reaching for her. Pullingher back into his arms, almost fiercely. She tilts her head up, and tucks hernose against his jaw, as he folds himself around her again. The fur of his robetickles her neck, and the door almost thwaps into her shoulder. But she reallydoesn’t care, right now. She wants to burrow against him for a few minutes –just a few minutes. Just… however many she can have.

“Come inside?” he offers.

She nods against him.

Oh, what a mess it all is.

And she is probably going to end up killing someone elsebefore it’s done with, too.

#filled prompt #a/b/o #i swear i don't actually mean for these to get this long #or to end on open notes #oops #Anonymous

42 notes · View notes

hasansonsuzceliktas · 4 years

Text

How Will YOGA & AYURVEDA Reduce Your Belly Fat?

Gastro-intestinal health and weigh-loss are the most outstanding issues pestering people in their late 40’s and onwards. For many, it is more or less a matter of good and attractive appearance, but hiding ourselves behind fleeting beauty is to miss the crux of the problem. The impact of the belly fat isn’t only external, mostly on our apparel and self-perception, but its deeply internal, too. Now, let us see where belly fat is harmless and where the harm begins. Subcutaneous fat ingrained beneath the skin, also known as “love handles”, padding on the tights or buttocks, or upper arms is actually harmless. It is but natural to add more of it with age. That, of course, is also subject to inherent constitution (dosha) of vata, kapha or pitta - as they are classified in Ayurveda. The first one, vata is of airy property and it appears as a thin, bony, sometimes wired body-frame. The second is known as the heavy, oily one and has at many times shape of a pear. The last one is of fiery origin and has more of an athletic outlook. We need to keep in mind that these “types” are always in mix with each other and therefore creating many versions of body types. Usually one of them lords over the other two, though sometimes they can be more or less in balance. These proto types are very basic and they shouldn’t necessary be taken at as the “all-in-all” benchmark. Also, a long-term illness or impairing disease can mask one dosha and reveal the other in its place, thereby creating a false perception. Considering inherent constitution (vata, kapha or pitta) our perception of perfect body should be in accordance of it. However, it is important to mention that kapha types, or people who have quite some kapha ingrained as part of their DNA, are definitely more likely to carry more belly fat, just by sheer demand of their inherent constitution. If your waist measures 35inches (89 cm) for women and 40 inches (101 cm) for men you should know that you are carrying abdominal fat that isn’t just some cute “love handles” but is having some serious implications on your health. With the other words: the fat has become visceral, accumulating around your abdominal organs, slowing down your metabolic functions by reducing the digestive fire, in Ayurveda known as JhataraAgni. The visceral organs, especially the liver (the seat of digestive fire), kidneys, gall bladder and spleen are the organs of fire (pitta) and therefore constantly engaged in breaking down enzymes, proteins and sugars, as well as cleaning blood, producing bile and filtering waste. When these organs accumulate fat their ability to produce powerful JhatharAgni is constricted and the body starts to accumulate waste, which, if not expelled in reasonable time, will turn toxic. The long-term toxicity creates dangerous phlegmatic disorders (shelsma rogham) in our intestines. Not to mention, that when liver and kidneys fail the heart will take a brunt of carrying it on. Developing a coronary disease is quite natural when visceral fat builds up. The problem with visceral fat is that it can’t be just vanquished, by toning your body and abs, neither by building a six-pack. The most powerful methods come through yogic exercises, strength training, long walks and swimming, though an alternative diet should be the first thing to apply. All sugars are very potent fat builders, including those in the fruit. Eating fruit in moderation is certainly good, though overdosing on fruit and fruit juices is the sure way of building up visceral fat; the body can become highly acidic with too much fruit intake. Correlation of visceral fat and diabetes is obvious. In Ayurveda diabetes is treated as impairment rather then illness: the fat blocks the passage for the insulin to be injected into the system. With diabetes of all types a risk to heart increases dramatically. The lack of insulin messes-up our digestive system as well and with it all the pitta (fiery) organs that are home and support to JhatharAgni - our digestive fire. Cancer is another collateral of increased visceral fat. The visceral fat impairs the lymphatic system and colon, aggravating risk to breast and colon cancer, which can quickly spread into the liver as well. Colon is the seat of our life energy, termed in Sanskrit as prana, which simply means life. When the air doesn’t move unobtrusive in the colon, but rather builds in it and stays there, we know that some trouble is brewing. The visceral fat prevents the movement of air, because it douses digestive functions that heath up the airs. The most common symptoms include excess of gas, indigestion and the feeling of heaviness. Lymphatic system is also very sensitive to the build up of visceral fat - it simply capitulates when fatty tissue expands. The impact of visceral fat is nearly total. It further impacts our nervous system and in the last stages our cognitive abilities as well, which Ayurveda calls extreme disorders of air (vata). Excess of vata builds up when the other two properties (doshas) aren’t in their natural balance creating a disharmony between the three. The oil is the fuel, which fire lights and with its heath moves the air around, and the air moves both. The exacerbated air is no friend to the nervous system, which over the long-term neglect impairs our cognitive abilities, too. Fat is very much needed as a fuel and lubrication of our skeletal and nervous systems. The lack of fat increases dryness (vatadisorder) of the nerves and joints, resulting in a very jittery personality and a lifetime of rheumatic illnesses. At many times we can observe two disorders – one of excess of fat, the other a lack of it – existing side by side, where belly is full of visceral fat, yet the rest of the body lacks sufficient lubrication and suffers from cranky joints, and dangerously ruffled nerves. In such cases we apply several remedies and therapies to counteract both imbalances. Mostly in the form of changed diet, oil therapies and herbal intake. There are really no simple and straight forward answers as far as fat management goes. We can observe that in our selves or in the others. Simple and well though solutions propagated over the internet appear reasonable. Following them does bring some results to most of the people, but certainly most of the people feel left out of that promising volte change. Lets look into several factors that shape our destiny and are a considerable roadblock to belly fat riddance. The Age. Aging is ruthless. When the youth is at full swing, we are oblivious to it, but when aging starts to be a very noticing affair, the panic and despondency set in. People might, in their 40’s or 50’s, weight the same as in their teens, yet the accumulation of fat is by far greater. The body in those years needs more comprehensive and impact-full exercising, and dieting to balance the subcutaneous fat, which essentially is just a hormone-like organ producing secretions (various harmful proteins) that negatively impacts the function of the before mentioned pitta (fiery) organs responsible for break down of proteins, sugars and enzymes - resulting in insulin resistance. This is a precursor to diabetes and development of high blood sugar, high blood pressure and of course, the excess of fat around the waist that lead to a cardiac risk. Having too big a waist is definitely a sure step to coronary heart disease. The bigger the waist, the greater the chance of it. When women hit menopause and pre-menopause, their chances of developing breast cancer increases dramatically, if their waistlines are way off. For men there is always the curse of the prostate cancer or enlargement of the prostate. When we age, our visceral organs age, too. The JhatharAgni isn’t as strong as it was in our heydays, for the simple reason that our internal organs have aged as well and are also not in the prime of the youth, where we could digest stones and still see another day. The lower JhatharAgni, the greater amount of fat we’ll be adding, especially if our constitution is from the onset somewhat stronger, more kaphic. The first thing that has to change is diet. That does not necessarily means going for some extreme diet watch, unless we really have to. It simply means that there will be lesser intake of sugar, out of which the white sugar can be kicked out completely. The alternative is always a pure cane sugar, in smaller amounts, if we are bend on having our tea or coffee sweet. The second most dreadful thing is definitely bread. While some are actually good for consumption in certain climates, especially if made with the sour dough, most are just brazen fillers with no nutritional benefits - like white bread and all the fluffy pastry included. The same story might be with the rice. Though there are many types of rice, some highly beneficial for weight-loss, majority of the consumed rice is the processed one. Cutting it out or substantially will do magic to your gastro-intestinal tract. And the third dreaded thing is the consumption of oils. Various cooking oils are no friend to your GI tract. Cut them to the minimum, or cut them out completely. The exemption are small amounts of ghee, the clarified butter, which acts as a vehicle for the nutrients to enter the system. The diet is always a complex issue and in Ayurveda we look at the inherent nature first & foremost to give the right advice. There are foods that work for some, while others have no benefit from them. One of the most important remedies, for the “aging” ones is a periodical fast. There is nothing like fasting. Fasting is good for everyone as it truly invigorates visceral organs and gives them a necessary break. If we are going off for a holidays, the internal organs should also take off for a while. In fact, fasting makes us younger - in and out. The Genetics & Karma (destiny) Destiny is a phantom word to some, but the reality is that it definitely exists. Sometimes, despite our best endeavors things just don’t move the way we want them, or they don’t happen at all, or the least desirable things happen to us suddenly without any provocation from our side. Lastly, our bodies and also minds are, at many times, just not up to that “perfect” standard, where we can have a clear and fair start. Then what is it? The genetics are in a way a set destiny that will act like a break for some things and accelerator for the other. It seems that our bodies and with it the minds are already set cages with the set trajectory. How discouraging! In Ayurveda the astrological calculus is a part of the healing. The transit of the planets and their set positions play a vital role of understanding their influence on our vital organs, nervous system and the nature of the mind. No just that, the planets are the rules of visceral organs as well. The planets do affect us greatly. It is the phases of the moon and sun that regulate the currents and tides of the water bodies, including our own bodily fluids. Menstruating women are the perfect study-case, as their periods are called monthly periods, coinciding with the days of the moon – 28 days - 14 days of waxing & 14 days of waning moon, add a Full moon and a New moon to total thirty days. The monthly period is, more or less, every 28 days and barring any illness or major stress, women can effectively manage the period schedule. Then there are other planets that we haven’t given much credit as far as their influence goes. One that happily makes you put on the weight and accumulate visceral fat is the mighty Jupiter. The biggest of the planets. Falling under its period, or have a predominant influence in ones chart, one will, no matter what, witness accumulation of weight and fat in general around the waist. It is right opposite when Saturn rules the time or has great power in the chart – the thinness and perhaps struggle with the joints and skeletal disformity will be the issues. Athletic figure will certainly show in those with the strong Mars – they’ll lose weight and fat fast, just with a bit of workout. And the planet of love, Venus and also Moon, if afflicted, will affect health of plasma and liquids. The planetary positions reveal the intimate medical conditions pretty much in horrific detail. The celestial positions aren’t accepted norm among the medical fraternity, but Ayurveda begs to differ. Ayurveda uses not just the herbs to heal but precious stones and metals, like iron and gold, too. The Earth is a cosmic organism, undoubtedly connected to other planets through set of trajectory and gravitational rules. The bodies of beings (micro cosmos) are part of the greater sphere (macro cosmos). Usage of precious stones in a powdered form, with the herbs, in a particular day, or days, is a common Ayurvedic way to treat imbalance of the doshas. They can be worn, too, encrusted in the ring or pendant. The precious stones and metals are connected through proprietorship of the planets, which have a dwelling within our own bodies as well. Sleep & Exercise Sleep is one of the prime focuses when we are set to reduce visceral fat. Make sure you sleep enough and not too much. Too little sleep forces the body to accumulate the fat as the nervous system is shattered and it craves the fatty tissue for sustenance. Too much sleep douses digestive fire and reduces the metabolic functions vital to management of fat. Bhagavad-gita, the foremost text on yoga encasulates that under a verse: nāty-aśnatas tu yogo ’sti na caikāntam anaśnataḥ na cāti-svapna-śīlasya jāgrato naiva cārjuna "There is no possibility of one’s becoming a yogi, O Arjuna, if one eats too much or eats too little, sleeps too much or does not sleep enough." Bhagavad Gita 6.16 Lastly, the inactivity is the main culprit. Being a sloth or somehow physically incapable to exercises one becomes really a repository of visceral fat. Even when physically constricted one should device ways to do some workout, or seek advice from professionals. While dexterity of movement decreases with age, the age is no bar for any meaningful exercises. Of course, we’ll list yoga as the top method to combat the issue of visceral fat and hormonal imbalance. Our first aim is to regulate, balance and tame life airs (prana) to forcefully set metabolism on its desirable path. With the subsequent movements (asanas), set in particular sequences we induce JhatharAgni (digestive fire), subsequent purging of waste and burning of the visceral fat. Indeed, our first focus is nothing but our visceral organs. We are working on them thoroughly; thereby giving them much needed rejuvenation and a new lease of life. It is the state of your visceral organs that will determine your overall health. Therefore, keep them alive and strong. The regular and insightful practice of yoga does changes your composition of fluid and plasma in general and is perhaps a catalyst of changes in otherwise set destiny. With it many other changes spring up, for the better. Regular breathing exercises are another component of yogic practice that set you on the powerful self-control mode and introspection. The diet isn’t really something hard to follow and it usually doesn’t apply turning your world on the head. It is more or less recreation of old age wisdom and an insightful guidance. Read the full article

#ayurveda #cancer #health #yoga

0 notes

ingrid--writes · 5 years

Text

On the ‘Sick Water’ of False Body Positivity and Ideal Figures

“It got to the point where I was running fourteen kilometres every day. It comes back to an internal driving force. If I ran fifteen kilometres yesterday, why can’t I run sixteen kilometres today.

“Don’t be weak!”

“Keep running!”

---

Her feet bled, she was rapidly losing weight, and yet she continued journeying blindly towards a potential fatality, in fear of disappointing herself.

---------

In her darkest moments, which she recalls with a sad smile, she remembers only a blurry sense of chaos. Weighing in at a meagre twenty-nine kilograms, she was in a precariously life-threatening situation.

“It was like tunnel vision. I knew everything was imploding,” she recounts. “But in order to manage that, I thought, all I should control and focus on was my study, exercise and food.”

She, Sarah Ravindran, a twenty-one-year-old medical student at the prestigious Monash University, is one of many brave survivors of anorexia nervosa. The Garvan Institute of Medical Research reported that one fifth of sufferers eventually die of the disease, when their minds push their bodies to such a level of exhaustion, malnutrition and frailty that their hearts could stop beating at any given point in time.

When I meet Sarah at Second Wife café, she has just finished her morning placement at Box Hill Hospital, and is ready to scrub up, quite literally, to head to Maroondah Hospital to sit in on a surgery - all part and parcel of the life of a third-year medical student. She greets me with a bright smile and immediately launches into lively conversation, asking me about my weekend and thanking me for the opportunity to speak up. This sense of warmth sets the tone for the highly engaging chat to come and allows me a sigh of relief; the twinkle in her eye is enough for me to know that this is a healthy and happy girl with whom I speak.

“Studying has always been a really, really big part of my life,” Sarah tells me. “I put pressure on myself to do really well and that has its pros and its cons.”

For Sarah, a developing obsession with control and structure, along with the demands of university did not work in her favour. She allowed academic stresses to engulf her. “I freaked out, basically,” she divulges. “And the only thing I could control was the food and exercise, and that’s what I did.”

This is not uncommon amongst people in the Eating Disorder (ED) community. I spoke to Bianca Skilbeck, who works as a counsellor associated with the Australian Centre for Eating Disorders. Her expertise dictates that “there are personality traits that go along with an eating disorder, things like being a perfectionist and being a high achiever.” According to specialists like Bianca, eating disorders are extremely common amongst people who are used to placing themselves under pressure and judgement to attain perfection. Pair this with the toxic dieting culture that constantly shrouds young teens, and you have a perfect breeding ground for mental demons to take over vulnerable youths.

“We’ve all got a relationship with food,” she says. “It’s actually rare to find a woman in particular who has a completely comfortable relationship with food.” Bianca herself battled with restrictive eating from the tender age of ten, but luckily found clarity in her teens, managing to seek professional help and overcome the toxic mindset armed with her steely drive to become a counsellor, which she felt she could not do if she herself was anorexic.

What strikes me most about Bianca is how matter-of-fact she is. She discusses the confronting concepts of body dysmorphia and self-starvation in the hustle and bustle of West Footscray café Willow and Wine, as babies wail around us and cars continually zoom by. I take sips of my coffee, and think to myself, this is the kind of normalised discourse we need surrounding ED, for the sake of all those who suffer.

The Garvan Institute of Medical Research reports that eating disorders, in particular anorexia nervosa, are the third most common chronic illness in girls and young women. According to Eating Disorders Victoria, sixty-four percent of people with eating disorders are female, while twenty percent of all females live their lives struggling with an undiagnosed eating disorder. These statistics are confronting to say the least and have everything to do with the unrealistic body expectations that young girls are faced with from birth and during their upbringing, which are perpetuated blithely by social media influencers.

YouTubers are constantly posting videos with titles like “What I Eat In A Day”, “Trying Intermittent Fasting – It Works!”, “How To Get Kendall Jenner’s Body” and “How To Lose Weight in A Week”. Instagram models spend painstaking hours taking photos from the right angle, and even more time editing them on applications such as FaceTune and VSCO Cam to enhance the aesthetic. This includes simple filters, escalating dangerously to the alteration of one’s body shape, with the elimination of some fat here, and the straightening out of a blemish there.

The modern social media world loves skinny, and skinny role models are what the younger generation of girls are fed from the moment they inevitably step into the sphere. This social media sphere is a distorted idea of reality.

Young girls are subliminally fed the message that skinny is better, healthier, more desirable.

Attractive, hot, more acceptable.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard the metaphor, where if you’ve got a fish living in sick water, and you take the fish out and fix it, but then put it back in the water, it just doesn’t make any sense,” Bianca laments. “I think this is the culture that we live in, where even if we do eating disorder treatment for people, we still put them back out into a water that says thinner is better.” Such pressure on young girls to look a certain way culminates in great mental strain and can be a direct pathway to the destructive mindset that exacerbates eating disorders. Sarah recalls that her issues regarding her own body image began when she started posting images of herself on her fitness page on Instagram.

“Whenever I would post a photo of myself, it wouldn’t do as well in terms of likes,” she details, divulging how she began to feel pressure to look more like the toned, skinny girls of Instagram.

This is why promoting and advocating for genuine body positivity is so important. Instagram campaigns such as #IWeigh, which was kickstarted by Jameela Jamil, an actress and survivor of ED, are spreading a beautiful message - that we are more than what we physically weigh. The campaign encourages women (and men) to think about what they bring to the table as a person rather than a physical being. People weigh their careers, their aspirations, their values, their hobbies.

According to Bianca, it is step by step that these changes are taking place, and she encourages us as members of society to take responsibility for abolishing fat stigma.

“There’s a level of understanding that you can’t discriminate on people based on race and gender and sexuality,” she points out. “It took Australia long enough to get the vote through for gay marriage, changing people one by one, and that’s what we need to do for fat as well.”

So the question is, how can we help?

The answer is uncomplicated in theory, but difficult to achieve in practise:

1. Vastly improve the Australian support systems for ED. 2. Destigmatise the mental health issues that lie at the crux of ED. 3. Promote genuine body positivity.

Why this is difficult to achieve lies in the lack of understanding and empathy surrounding how ED functions. Bianca recalls a past anorexic client who was told by her GP, after a look up and down, that she was ‘fine’ because her weight seemed okay at face value. In stark contrast, her mental health was at great risk. Further, the constant pressure on young women to be perfect makes it extremely frightening to seek help, and to heal.

“Once again, it’s taking the fish out of the water and then throwing it back into the sick water,” Bianca says, fixing her gaze intently towards my eyes. “What we actually need to fix is people’s perception of what it is to have different sized bodies.”

Eating disorders are extremely harsh mental and physical conditions which are often debilitating and life-threatening. Perhaps a glimmer of hope can be given to the future generation of young girls if we purify the sick water in which we live.

“It’s not about being perfect,” Sarah says with a wry smile. “It’s about being happy. It’s about having those negative thoughts, accepting them, and then pushing forwards in life.”

#university #people

0 notes

conners-clinic · 5 years

Link

What Exactly Do Cancer Cells Feed on?

Anaerobic (without oxygen) metabolism primarily consumes glucose as a fuel source. Cancer cells respire anaerobically, consuming 7-8 times more glucose than normal cells. Since it is so inefficient compared to aerobic metabolism, cancers have a voracious appetite for glucose to sustain them. This is why excess consumption of sugars tends to promote cancer growth.

It is less well known that cancers have an equally voracious appetite for glutamine, an amino acid. Briefly, glutamine is the most important “nitrogen shuttle” in the blood. It brings the organic nitrogen to the cancer cells so they can use it to make the essential amino acids and thus proteins required to make more cancer cells. As the glutamine supply goes to zero, tumor growth goes to zero.

In order for cancer cells to survive they basically require three conditions:

Availability of glucose

Anaerobic surroundings – less oxygen

Availability of glutamine

One avenue to reduce the growth of cancer cells is simply to starve their food sources such as glucose and glutamine-rich foods, and then increase the amount of oxygen in the blood, which they hate.

A rich dietary source of glutamine is red meats. This is why excess consumption of red meats and other concentrated sources of animal protein tend to promote tumor growth. Since normal cells also require both glucose and glutamine, reducing the intake of either to zero would have an undesirable outcome. Consumption in moderation (small quantities), along with fruits and vegetables seems to be the best approach.

Other Foods that Should be Avoided in Cancer

GLUTAMINE-RICH FOODS SUCH AS:

Red meats (fish and eggs is better in small quantities)

All dairy products except cottage cheese

Wheat (which is rich in glutamine)

SUGAR-RICH FOODS SUCH AS:

All refined sugar products

All refined foods (white flour products, white rice)

Fruit juices (homemade vegetable juices are fine and highly encouraged in the Gerson Therapy program which we highly recommend!)

FOODS THAT ARE DISEASE-CAUSING IN GENERAL:

High saturated fats (animal fats)

Trans fats from fried foods and hydrogenated fats in margarine

All food additives, coloring agents and preservatives

With regards to a cancer treatment, every food that we eat or drink can be categorized into several different categories:

1) Foods that feed and strengthen the cancer cells and/or the microbes in the cancer cells and body. Examples would be: refined sugar, refined flour, soda pop, dairy products, etc.

2) Foods that cause cancer (e.g. trans fatty acids [margarine, French fries and virtually every other processed food you buy], aspartame [Diet Coke, NutraSweet, Equal, etc.], MSG, polyunsaturated oils [e.g. corn oil], etc.)

3) Foods that directly interfere with alternative treatments for cancer (e.g. chlorine, fluoride, alcohol, coffee, etc.)

4) Foods that occupy and distract the immunity system from focusing on killing the cancer cells (e.g. beef, turkey, etc.)

5) Foods that contain nutrients that kill the cancer cells, stop the spread of cancer, or in some other way help treat the cancer (e.g. purple grapes with seeds and skin, red raspberries with seeds, strawberries with seeds, broccoli, cauliflower, several herbs, carrots, pineapples, almonds, etc.)

Cancer Cells Feed on Sugar and Glutamine

I’ve stated above that the Cancer Diet should decrease sugar and glutamine consumption and here are a few reasons. Researchers at Huntsman Cancer Institute (HCI) at the University of Utah have uncovered new information on the notion that sugar “feeds” tumors. The findings may also have implications for other diseases such as diabetes and Metabolic Syndrome. The research is published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS). “It’s been known since 1923 that tumor cells use a lot more glucose than normal cells. Our research helps show how this process takes place, and how it might be stopped to control tumor growth,” says Don Ayer, Ph.D., a Huntsman Cancer Institute investigator and professor in the Department of Oncological Sciences at the University of Utah. Glucose and glutamine are both essential for cell growth, and it was long assumed they operated independently, but Ayer’s research shows they are inter-dependent. During both normal and cancerous cell growth, a cellular process takes place that involves both glucose (sugar) and glutamine (an amino acid). Ayer discovered that by restricting glutamine availability, glucose cannot be well utilized by cancer cells. “Essentially, if you don’t have glutamine, the cell is short circuited due to a lack of glucose, which halts the growth of the tumor cell,” Ayer says. The research, spearheaded by Mohan Kaadige, Ph.D., a post-doctoral fellow in Ayer’s lab, focused on MondoA, a protein that is responsible for turning genes on and off. In the presence of glutamine, MondoA blocks the expression of a gene called TXNIP. TXNIP is thought to be a tumor suppressor, but when it’s blocked by MondoA, it allows cancer cells to take up and utilize glucose as its primary energy source, which in turn drives tumor growth.

Ayer says the next step in his research is to develop animal models to test his ideas about how MondoA and TXNIP control cell growth. “If we can understand that, we can break the cycle of glucose utilization which could be beneficial in the treatment of cancer,” Ayer says.

So, make sure you are not taking any glutamine in your supplements. Since this is an amino acid, you would most likely find it in a protein powder. Another common source of glutamine would be in products to heal the gut. Glutamine is a primary player in intestinal healing and though healing intestinal permeability issues (leaky gut syndrome) is important for cancer patients, do NOT use a product with glutamine!

BPA (bisphenol A)

“More than 130 studies have linked BPA (bisphenol A) to breast cancer, obesity, and other disorders,” concludes a report from President Obama’s 2010 Cancer Panel.

Because BPA is a chemical compound that is practically inescapable in modern American life. It is used in virtually every plastic container, plastic bottles, and coffee cup lids where it is known to break down and contaminate the liquid contents. It is sprayed inside of the vast majority of our country’s canned goods, and has routinely been detected in staggering levels in the food it is supposed to be protecting. Cash register and credit card receipts are covered in BPA which give them the slippery feel. In fact, 92% of the food and drinks in the U.S. that come in plastic or metal packaging contain BPA. If you eat ANY prepared foods, even rice and beans that come in plastic bags, you are being exposed.

Why are they bad? BPA’s mess with your hormones! Even small amounts of BPA can act as “endocrine disruptors,” altering your body chemistry in alarming ways.

“Hundreds of independent peer-reviewed scientific studies have found harm from low doses of BPA,” Laura Vandenberg, a BPA researcher at Tufts University said in a recent statement.

The problem is that they are everywhere – you can run but you can’t hide from BPA’s. But it can be removed from our society. Japan quietly stopped using BPA in the 90’s. Canada has banned it from infant toys and bottles, as have a handful of U.S. states. Senator Diane Feinstein has now proposed a much heftier ban of BPA that extends to all food and drink containers used in America but don’t expect the chemical companies, who profit extensively from its use to quietly surrender.

“I think the outlook is that it’s going to be a struggle,” Feinstein said of the prospects for passage of the ban. “There’s no question about it. There are powerful interests that don’t want us to pass this bill.”

What to do until a ban will someday be enacted? Here are a few suggestions adapted from Lisa Farino, a writer for MSN Health & Fitness:

Limit canned foods & beverages. The epoxy liners of metal food and beverage cans most likely contain BPA. Vom Saal especially recommends avoiding canned foods that are acidic (tomatoes, tomato-based soups, citrus products, and acidic beverages like soda) and canned alcoholic beverages, since acids and alcohols can exacerbate the leaching of BPA.

The good news: Many foods and beverages can be purchased in glass containers (olive oil, and tomato paste) or frozen (like vegetables).

Don’t store foods in plastic. Glass food storage containers are inert and there are plenty of wonderful Pyrex containers on the market. Just be sure to wash the lids, which are made of plastic, by hand.

Filter your drinking and cooking water. Since detectable levels of BPA have been found in the water, vom Saal recommends removing it using a reverse osmosis and carbon filter, which generally can be found for less than $200. “In the long run, it’s cheaper than buying bottled water, which isn’t tested for BPA,” he says. If you buy bottled water, you are defeating the purpose if you store it in a plastic container. We have BPA-free plastic water bottles at our office. I believe I ordered them off of www.amazon.com.

Filter your shower and tub water. According to vom Saal, the relatively small BPA molecules can easily be absorbed through the skin. BPA can be removed from the water by adding ceramic filters to showerheads and tubs. Just be sure to change them regularly or they just dump contaminates.

Don’t transport beverages in plastic mugs. Instead, opt for an unlined stainless steel travel mugs or glass mugs/containers. This is especially important when transporting hot beverages, like coffee or tea.

Limit use of hard plastic water bottles. Those colorful light-weight plastic bottles may be great for hiking, but unfortunately, they are made of polycarbonate plastic. For everyday use when a little extra weight isn’t an issue, choose a stainless steel water bottle, and make sure it’s unlined—some metal water bottles contain a plastic liner that may contain BPA. Again, use stainless steel or glass.

Minimize hard plastics in the kitchen. Hard plastic stirring spoons, pancake flippers, blenders, measuring cups, and colanders regularly come into contact with both food and heat. Fortunately, all of these can easily be replaced with wooden, metal, or glass alternatives.

Skip the water cooler. Those hard plastic five-gallon jugs that many companies use to provide their employees and customers with “pure” water are usually made of BPA-containing polycarbonate. Opt for tap water instead.

If You Must Use Plastic

Avoid using plastic storage containers for anything that contains acid ingredients, like tomatoes or citrus products.

Avoid putting any warm beverages or citrus products in plastic mugs or travel bottles.

Wait for foods to cool to room temperature before placing in plastic storage containers.

Transfer foods to ceramic or glass before placing in the microwave. Microwaving will break down the plastic, causing it to release BPA into the food.

Wash all plastic containers by hand. The harsher detergents and hotter temperature in the dishwasher will cause the plastic to break down more quickly.

Throw away any plastic food storage containers that are showing signs of age. If the plastic looks hazy or warped, feels “sticky,” or has any visible lines or cracks, it is beginning to break down and could be releasing even more BPA.

Choose plastics that have the recycling number 2 and 5. These are made out of far less reactive polypropylene and polyethylene.

Especially For Kids

Choose BPA-Free Baby Bottles. There are several alternatives to polycarbonate baby bottles. First, there’s the old-fashioned, inert glass baby bottle. If you prefer a plastic alternative, check out Born-Free’s new line of BPA-free plastic baby bottles.

As with any plastics, you should still avoid harsh detergents, dishwashers, and microwaves.

Choose BPA-Free Sippy Cups. Stainless steel sippy cups, like those by Klean Kanteen, are a great alternative to polycarbonate plastic sippy cups. Klean Kanteen also offers a BPA-free sippy-cup top adapter.

If you prefer a smaller, lighter-weight, totally plastic sippy cup, check out Born Free’s line of colorful, BPA-free sippy cups.

Again, it’s still wise to avoid exposing plastics to microwaves, harsh detergents, and dishwashers.

Limit Plastic Toys. Unfortunately, polycarbonate plastics are used to make toys, which young kids are so known for chewing on. Since chewing can break down the plastic and release BPA into a toddler’s mouth, minimizing plastic toys during the chewing stage is a good idea.

Especially for pregnant women

Here’s one more reason to keep taking that folic acid. Not only does it help prevent birth defects, it may also help protect a developing fetus from the effects of the BPA you’ll inevitably consume even if you take steps to reduce exposure. In pregnant mice, nutritional supplementation with folic acid has shown to protect fetuses against maternal BPA exposure.

Dairy, rbGH, and Cancer

An epidemic rise in one under-publicized category of cancers should sound an alarm for all Americans. There is a powerful link to the dramatic surge in lymphatic cancer: the 1994 approval of the genetically engineered bovine growth hormone (rbGH). Before 1995, lymphatic cancers were comparatively rare. Today, if one adds up the total number of cancer deaths from breast, prostate, lung, pancreatic, and genital cancers, they do not cumulatively equal the number of deaths from lymphatic cancers. Americans annually consume nearly 180 billion pounds of dairy products that will average out to over 650 pounds per American. Cheese, ice cream, yogurt, and milk will be ingested from hormonally-treated cows – cows treated with rbGH. Most people are unaware that laboratory animals treated with rbGH experienced enormous changes in their lymphatic systems.

The controversial genetically modified cow hormone was approved for human consumption in February of 1994. Cancer statistics have recently been published by the U.S. Census Bureau comparing death rates from cancer by sex and age groups in 1980, 1990, and 1995. These data support evidence of a runaway plague. All of America became a laboratory study for rbGH, which is now in America’s ice cream, cheese, and pizza. There are small increases and decreases in lymphatic cancer rates from 1980 to 1990 depending upon sex and age group. What happened in 1995 represents the most dramatic short-term increase of any single cancer in the history of epidemiological discovery and analyses.

The approval process for rbGH was the most controversial drug application in the history of the Food & Drug Administration (FDA). In order to address that controversy, the FDA published an article in the journal SCIENCE (August 24, 1990). Data in that paper reveal that the average male rat receiving rbGH developed a spleen 39.6 percent larger than the spleen of the control animals after just 90 days of treatment. The spleens from rbGH-treated females increased in size by a factor of 46 percent. These are not normal reactions and portray animals in distress. These animals were “under attack” by the genetically engineered hormone. The spleen is the first line of defense in a mammal’s lymphatic system. Lab animals treated with rbGH developed lymphatic abnormalities. This same hormone causing changes in lab animals was introduced into America’s food supply in 1994. As Americans continue to ingest genetically engineered milk and dairy products, lymphatic cancer rates soar. Americans have become laboratory subjects in genetic engineering’s experiment, and the resulting data indicates extreme cause for concern.

Lesson: If you stay on the Cancer Diet, you won’t have to worry about genetic modification of dairy because you won’t be eating dairy. Any dairy consumed, like yogurt, must be rbGH-free!

I could spend the entire book talking about dangerous toxins that have influenced cancer growth, but I want to mention just one more: genetically modifies food (GMO).

Again, I am NOT a conspiracy theorist, but to think there are NOT financial ties by major industries that financially benefit from GMO and rbGH is absurd! Here is a list for you:

NAME MONSANTO JOB GOVERNMENT JOB ADMIN Toby Moffett Monsanto Consultant US Congessman D-CT Dennis DeConcini Monsanto Legal Counsel US Senator D-AZ Margaret Miller Chemical Lab Supervisor Dep. Dir. FDA, HFS Bush Sr, Clinton Marcia Hale Director, Int’l Govt. Affairs White House Senior Staff Clinton Mickey Kantor Board Member Sec. of Commerce Clinton Virginia Weldon VP, Public Policy WH-Appt to CSA, Gore’s SDR Clinton Josh King Director, Int’l Govt. Affairs White House Communications Clinton David Beler VP, Gov’t & Public Affairs Gore’s Chief Dom. Polcy Advisor Clinton Carol Tucker-Foreman Monsanto Lobbyist WH-Appointed Consumer Adv Clinton Linda Fisher VP, Gov’t & Public Affairs Deputy Admin EPA Clinton, Bush Lidia Watrud Manager, New Technologies USDA, EPA Clinton, Bush, Obama Michael Taylor VP, Public Policy Dep. Commiss. FDA Obama Hilary Clinton Rose Law Firm, Monsanto Counsel US Senator, Secretary of State D-NY Obama Roger Beachy Director, Monsanto Danforth Center Director USDA NIFA Obama Islam Siddiqui Monsanto Lobbyist Ag Negotiator Trade Rep

Obama

Source

Genetically Modified Foods

Genetically modified (GM) food has been around for decades. Most corn and soy purchased in the United States is GM food. Proponents argue that there are no ill effects on humans with GM food but I completely disagree. I’m not in the minority with my belief that changing the genetic structure of a food product is playing with disaster. Recent studies reveal that GM corn destroys the intestinal lining of mice causing absorption problems and leaky gut syndrome. What is it doing to our gut?

Today’s GMOs are based on adding new genes to crops like corn, soy, and cotton in order to alter the way the plants function, make them more tolerant to disease and bugs, and able companies to patent the seed and create an endless need for farmers to repurchase, year after year. Gone are the days of saving seeds; it’s against the law – Monsanto owns the patent. To say that our food supplies, laced with toxins, filled with additives, colorings and chemicals, and now genetically altered don’t negatively affect our bodies is ludicrous. This book does not contain enough space to discuss these things in detail and I have recommended various books for your personal research, but it suffices to say that removing these poisons from your diet is of utmost importance.

Bottom line: Eat only organically grown foods. Do your own research into the foods you put into your mouth and make sure they are not genetically modified. If we all create a greater demand for good food, the supply will follow.

Electromagnetic Fields (EMFs)

Electromagnetic fields (EMFs) from power lines, high power lines, normal home wiring, airport and military radar, all types of electrical substations, electrical transformers, computers and other home appliances have the potential to disturb human body cells. I believe that EMFs can contribute to the cause of brain tumors, other cancers including leukemia, a variety of birth defects, miscarriages, and chronic illness of all sorts.

Dr. David Carpenter, Dean at the School of Public Health, State University of New York believes it is likely that up to 30% of all childhood cancers come from exposure to EMFs. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) warns “There is reason for concern” and advises prudent avoidance“.

Martin Halper, the EPA’s Director of Analysis and Support says, “I have never seen a set of epidemiological studies that remotely approached the weight of evidence that we’re seeing with EMFs. Clearly there is something here.”

The initial concern over possible problems with EMFs exploded after Paul Brodeur wrote a series of articles in the New Yorker Magazine in June 1989. His articles had a catalytic effect on scientists, reporters and concerned people throughout the world. In November 1989, the Department of Energy reported that “It has now become generally accepted that there are, indeed, biological effects due to field exposure.”

The EMF issue gained more publicity in 1990 when alarming reports appeared in Time, the Wall Street Journal, Business Week and popular computer publications. ABC’s Ted Koppel and CBS’s Dan Rather both aired special segments on EMFs.

One prominent cardiovascular surgeon, Dr. Stephen Sinatra, MD, has written several books on the subject that I recommend one read. Search for his name on Amazon.

By 1990, over one hundred studies had been conducted worldwide and at least two dozen epidemiological studies on humans indicated a link between EMFs and serious health problems. In response to public pressure, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) began reviewing and evaluating the available literature and drafted several reports.

The EPA recommended in a 1990 report that EMFs be classified as a Class B carcinogen, stating that EMFs are a “probable human carcinogen and joined the ranks of formaldehyde, DDT, dioxins and PCBs”. After the 1990 EPA draft report was released, utility, military and computer lobbyists forced a final revision did NOT classify EMFs as a Class B carcinogen and the following explanation was added:

“At this time such a characterization regarding the link between cancer and exposure to EMFs is not appropriate because the basic nature of the interaction between EMFs and biological processes leading to cancer is not understood.”

After the EPA placated to the various pressures (I never said they accepted bribes) the report also stated: “In conclusion, several studies showing leukemia, Iymphoma and cancer of the nervous system in children exposed to supported by similar findings in adults in several/ occupational studies also involving electrical power frequency exposures, show a consistent pattern of response that suggest a causal link.”

When questioned about the contradictory nature of these statements, the EPA responded that it was “not appropriate” to use the probable carcinogen label until it could demonstrate how EMFs caused cancer and exactly how much EMF is harmful.

EMFs and Power Lines

Electrical generating stations both create and lose energy. The giant power lines that transmit the high-voltage electricity to be down-graded at local stations and transformers give off an enormous amount of stray electricity that disperses into the air and travels through our bodies. All power lines radiate electromagnetic fields into the environment, how much are the power lines near YOUR home radiating? The amount of EMFs coming from a power line depends on its particular configuration, the age of the wires, other interferences in the conductivity and even your home, work or environment that may contribute to the EMFs attraction. Power companies know which power line configurations are best for reducing EMFs but most don’t feel the evidence supports costly changes in the way they deliver electricity.

An electrical substation is an assemblage of circuit breakers, disconnecting switches and transformers designed to hold and transmit electricity to neighborhoods. Substations have been blamed for causing cancer clusters among nearby residents. Paul Brodeur wrote about several such cancer clusters in the July 9, 1990 issue of the New Yorker Magazine and I’ve personally seen areas of specific cities that have high incidences of brain cancers.

A key component of a utility’s electrical distribution network depends upon numerous, small transformers mounted on power poles around town. A transformer looks like a small metal trash can, usually cylindrical, mounted at the top of the pole. Even when electrical service is placed underground, you will often see a metal box (usually square} located on the ground near the street. Many people don’t realize that when they see a transformer, the power line feeding the transformer is 4000 to 13,800 volts and is transforming that voltage down to a usable (120v/240v) service for the nearby homes.

EMFs near a transformer can be quite high, but due to its small structure, the field strength diminishes rapidly with distance, as it does from any point source. For this reason, having a transformer located near your home is usually not a major source of concern, although just to make sure, everyone should measure the field strength around it. One can use a meter called a gauss-meter to measure such EMF fields.

EMFs and Your Home

With our patients that have a diagnosis of cancer, we make a point to go to their home and measure the extent of EMFs that may be a contributing factor in their recovery. We not only want to measure EMFs in their home but sources of environmental toxins like chemicals gasifying off carpets or building materials, hidden fungus or mold, to chemicals used in the home. I just believe that we CANNOT leave ANY stone un-turned!

If your home has high EMF readings, it is important to determine the sources of the EMF so that remedial action can be taken – this is called GROUNDING. Many times a particular room will have higher EMF readings due to the configuration of the wiring, the appliances in the home, or something outside that area.

Sometimes, the source of a high magnetic field is incorrect/faulty wiring/grounds. If you suspect that your home is wired improperly, obtain the services of a licensed electrician. Warning: Do not touch electric wires, even if you think the current is turned off. If you need to disconnect electrical circuits to determine the source of magnetic fields, you should call a licensed electrician.

There are several techniques that we employ when we GROUND a home. The first thing to understand is that each of us is a unique electrical conduit. We truly are little antennas walking around that filter electrical impulses as energy. A curse understanding of quantum physics tells us that everything, broken down to its smallest component is simply energy vibrating at a specific frequency. EMFs disturb our body’s frequency.

EMFs and Computers, Electric Blankets and Waterbeds

EMFs radiate from all sides of the computer and can pose a serious health risk. Thus, you must not only be concerned with sitting in front of the monitor but also if you are sitting near a computer or if a computer is operating in a nearby room for it is a major generating source of EMFs.

The Swedish safety standard published in 1990, specifies a maximum of 0.25 mG at 50 cm from a computer display. Many US manufactured computers have EMFs of 5 – 100 mG at this same distance. Screens placed over monitors do NOT block EMFs; even a lead screen will not block ELF and VLF (very low frequency) magnetic fields.

I know that it is almost impossible to live without a computer – I certainly couldn’t! Try this – turn it off and unplug it when not in use.

Maybe one of the worst things to own, electric blankets create a magnetic field that penetrates about 6-7 inches into the body. It is not surprising that an epidemiological study has linked electric blankets with miscarriages and childhood leukemia. Just throw it away!

This pioneering work was performed by Dr. Nancy Wertheimer and Ed Leeper, who originally discovered that magnetic fields were linked to childhood leukemia. Similar health effects have been noted with users of many electric blankets and waterbed heaters will emit EMFs even when turned off.

EMFs and Electric Clocks, Fluorescent Lights and Appliances

Electric clocks sitting on bedside stands across America have a very high magnetic field, as much as 5 to 10 mG up to three feet away. It’s like sleeping in an EMF equivalent to that of a power line. Think about moving all clocks and other electrical devices (such as telephones and answering devices) at least 6 feet from your bed – or better, NOT in the room which you sleep.

Fluorescent lights produce much more EMFs than incandescent bulbs. A typical fluorescent lamp in an office ceiling have readings of 160 to 200 mg 1 inch away – that’s horrible.

Microwave ovens and radar from military installations and airports emit two types of radiation — microwave and ELF. All microwave ovens leak and exceed safety limits. In addition, recent Russian studies have shown that normal microwave cooking coverts food protein molecules into carcinogenic substances.

Electric razors and hair dryers emit EMFs as high as 200 to 400 mG for the sort time they are in use. There just are not enough studies that prove whether short-term, high EMF exposure is more or less damaging than chronic exposure to a 2-3 mG field. Some EMF consultants recommend that hair dryers not be used on children as the high fields are held close to their rapidly developing brain and nervous system can be a problem.

EMFs and Telephones and Cellphones

Telephones, especially cordless telephones, can emit surprisingly strong EMFs from the handset. This is a problem because of course; we hold the telephone so close to our head. Place a Gauss meter right against the ear piece and the mouth piece before buying a phone or better yet, do NOT use cordless phones in your home. Cellphones have gotten a ton of press regarding EMFs. Surprise, surprise, every study that produced that show no ill-effects from cellphones was paid for by the cellphone industry. Always read into the possible biases of scientific studies.

What to Do About EMFs?

Dr. Sinatra wrote a book with Clinton Ober and Martin Zucker titled “Earthing”. It goes into details on the need for all of us to remain ‘grounded’ with the earth. I know to most reading this book, these concepts sound more like something out of the hippy generation, but it makes scientific sense. Grounding or Earthing as spoken of in the book I referred to is natural and simple, and affects every aspect of your physiology. When you ground yourself, you physically add electrons to your body and thereby increase pH to the tissue – an important concept in those with cancer.

James Oschman, Ph.D., an internationally renowned expert on energy medicine and author of “Energy Medicine; The Scientific Basis”, describes the phenomenon of personal grounding/Earthing: “Recently I attended a meeting on the East coast. One of my colleagues came in from the West coast. She had a bad case of jet lag. I told her to take her shoes and socks off and step outside on the grass for 15 minutes. When she came back in, she was completely transformed. Her jet lag was gone. That is how fast Earthing works. Anyone can try this. If you don’t feel well, for whatever reason, just make barefoot contact with the Earth for a few minutes and see what happens. Of course, if you have a medical problem, you should see a doctor. There is nothing that comes close to Earthing for quick relief. You can literally feel pain draining from your body the instant you touch the Earth.”

The human body is mostly water and minerals and is therefore a good conductor of electricity (electrons). The free electrons on the surface of the Earth are easily transferred to the human body as long as there is direct contact. Remember, you are simply an antenna. Unfortunately, synthetically-soled shoes made of rubber and plastic act as insulators so that even when we are outside and walking on the ground; we are insulated from the Earth’s electric field. When we are in homes and office buildings, we are also unable to receive the Earth’s balancing energies.

Is this ‘new age’? No, it is simply physics. The Earth’s electric field is mainly a continuous direct current (DC) producing field that is a giant transmitter of electrons. By comparison, home wiring systems in the U.S. use 60-cycle per second alternating current (AC) and other forms of man-made environmental electromagnetic fields (EMFs). Some people are just more sensitive to EMFs than others. One person may develop cancer due in part to EMF exposure and another family member with equal exposure appears unaffected. Again, this is just one more causative factor!

So what does one do? There are some simple steps that everyone can take (not just people with cancer) to ground their home and themselves. First, start with looking at your footwear. Standard plastic/rubber or composite soles on your shoes do not conduct the Earth’s electric energy and can contribute to a host of illnesses. You need leather or hide soles, which used to be the primary footwear materials in the past. Leather itself isn’t conductive, but the foot perspires and the moisture permits conduction of the energy from the Earth through the leather and up into the body. In addition, moisture from walking on damp ground or sidewalks could permeate up into the leather-soled shoe. Thickness of the sole can also be a factor, and specifically that very thick leather soles may not allow the moisture through. Moccasins are the best type of natural conductive footwear. Leather isn’t quite as good as bare feet on the ground but certainly much, much better than standard soles that are insulating.

There are companies that sell grounding kits and Earthing products around the world. Remember, there is a difference between personally grounding yourself to the earth (Earthing) and grounding your home or office in a protective measure against stray EMFs. In our practice, we attempt to send a team out to the home of every cancer patient to make sure their house is as free from EMFs as possible. We also test for hidden mold, fungi, etc. There are lots of things that can make you and keep you sick!

Grounding your home includes physically checking grounding rods that were supposed to be installed to see if they are working properly, installing new rods and connections if this is not done, utilizing special volcanic materials called dragonite (it’s a ground basalt) to block stray EMFs as well as other techniques to ‘clean’ the home. There are personal products that can help also like grounding mats that one can stand on, mattress pads, seat cushions, attachments to computers and other things. But start simply by unplugging appliances that are not in use, stop using some things I wrote about previously and get the electrical things out of your bedroom.

I highly recommend the book Earthing to all my readers to help them understand the concept. It is easy to explain to my Minnesota patients who love to hunt. I often hear men say something like, “I just love to go sit in the woods next to a tree. I don’t even care if I see a deer; I just love being out in the woods.” They are grounding themselves, whether they know it or not. They are receiving an abundance of electrons from the earth and alkalizing their bodies and decreasing inflammation. They are healing.

This is exactly what the RIFE light is doing for my patients with cancer. The photons dispersed from the Tesla tube act as electron donors and ground the patient by adding electrons and alkalizing and healing the patient. The more specific we can be to the frequency of the tissue treated; the body receives the more electrons.

So it is with grounding and Earthing. The more stray EMFs we can erase from the environment and the more electrons we can receive from the earth, the healthier one will become.

This was an excerpt from Dr Conners’ book, Stop Fighting Cancer and Start Treating the Cause.

Free Download Buy the Book

Dr. Kevin Conners, D.PSc., FICT, FAARFM

Dr. Conners graduated with his doctorate from Northwestern Health Sciences University in 1986 and has been studying alternative cancer care for over 20 years. He holds AMA Fellowships in Regenerative & Functional Medicine and Integrative Cancer Therapy.

He is the author of numerous books including, Stop Fighting Cancer and Start Treating the Cause, Cancer Can’t Kill You if You’re Already Dead, Help, My Body is Killing Me, Chronic Lyme, 3 Phases of Lyme, 23 Steps to Freedom, and many more you can download for FREE on our books page.

via News

#IFTTT #News

0 notes