#which is actually hilarious for certain circumstances

[nextstopparis]

when in fics they say two characters gave each other a look this is always what i envision in my head

#which is actually hilarious for certain circumstances #deeply stressful in others #ignore me

[aktinopterygia]

.

#one actually hilarious thing about my relationship is the following #and I've never said this to anyone #but yk how there's this theory about the song Mastermind which says that every girl is actually a mastermind when it comes to #calculating circumstances so that they end up with their crush #well #the issue arises when you're on totally different brain frequences #add to that the fact that frankly i am completely unhinged #so at some point i saw that she had a certain word in her bio #i recognized that word as a certain indigenous tribe in siberia so knowing that she studied anthropology i naturally started a conversation #with her about siberian tribes #turns out she didn't know anything about the subject #months later i found out that the word i had recognized to be the name of a siberian tribe was coincidentally also slang for #something unrelated in my girlfriend's language #this is wild and extremely funny to me #i had also tried to talk about post modern sociology to her because i thought she had mentioned a certain academic to me when #we first met but she also knew jack shit about that #and that's one instance too many thay i have tried to be a nerd to someone who is not #don't ask why i know names of siberian tribes

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

love all your thoughts on eridan so much!! ive had erikar as a passive concept in my head since i started slowly rereading homestuck, bit i never invested as much thought into it...it makes a LOT of sense.

very curious on your thoughts on eridan and nepeta, if you have any? i dont really see much around of the two of them and how they may act around each other (most likely because, iirc, they have basically no substantial interaction in the comic....) but its a concept ive twisted around in my head a little.

Hahah, one of my friends is a Nepeta roleplayer, so we have hashed this OUT. Basically, I think if they talked a bit more, under the right circumstances, they might try pitch for a bit, but resolve to normal friendship. TL;DR, at the end of the day, they just don't really have anything to particularly hate about each other, or to particularly love, but I think they'd make for really good friends actually, if Eridan gets his shit together and Nepeta comes out of her shell a little more. She might wind up having to play auspice for him because... he has a lot of problems... and as a Heart player, with more proximity to him, she'd realize "oh, wait, he's not that bad, hes just mentally fucking ill," and there are people on the team who would not give him that kind of grace.

Flushed is pretty canonically off the table - despite having hit on her several times, Eridan seems to have accepted the rejection, and Nepeta herself comments that it always came off as "cr33py and insincere", which it probably was - he's clearly not over Feferi, and has a kind of "please god anyone would be fine I just don't want to be alone" vibe. Nepeta is definitely looking for more sincerity than that, and although Eridan's Type is very much cheerful, bubbly, nice girls (what he thinks Feferi is), I think they're pretty incompatible overall.

His antics and Emotional Issues would probably be super taxing on Nepeta long-term, he'd wind up in a million fights with protective Equius (Eridan is a crazed murderer even just objectively), and he's really not a particularly kind or pleasant person.

Meanwhile, although he's basically willing to go along with anything that'll get him attention, I think he'd be very puzzled by Nepeta's expectations that he do Romantic Things, or otherwise adhere to certain romantic tropes and social norms, which he can't do; when this inevitably leads to hurt feelings, his response to perceived danger is "fight," so he'd probably end up making it worse. So! Flushed is flushed. Down the load gaper, I mean.

Trying on pitch, I think if Nepeta was already a little bit out of her shell - say, Equius has died, or she's otherwise locked in a SGRUB dungeon with him, or something like that - she and he would come to blows over Eridan's performative casteism. Nepeta's the anti-casteism troll, after all, and if she's worked up enough, she's quite spirited and opinionated, and Eridan is down for anything, so it would be something I can absolutely see forming.

Actually, hilariously, when my friend and I RP'd this out, Nepeta wound up with a pitch crush, and Eridan wound up with a FLUSHED crush, because he was THAT BAD at differentiating between good and bad attention. Nepeta was totally floored, she was like, dude i was calling you stupid and terrible??? how the fuck did you interpret that as FLUSHED??? and eridan was like i dont know... maybe... i might have mental illness......

The problem is, I don't see their pitched dalliance lasting, for two main reasons - the first is that Eridan wouldn't hate Nepeta long-term, even if he can work up some caliginous energy because he's desperate; she's too genuinely nice and kind and he loves nice and kind people. Similarly, Nepeta wouldn't be able to hate Eridan the more she got to know him - since he's kind of the least casteist highblood, despite his initial impression, she would lose her fundamental reason for opposing him, and would instead start going "oh god, hes so traumatized, he's like that because he's really messed up inside."

The second is because I think they're dangerous for each other, physically. Eridan is a volatile highblood with severe emotional problems and a bodycount in the thousands, and Nepeta is very reckless in the face of danger; I can genuinely see them going a little too hard and Eridan getting a bit of a highblood buzz and winding up severely injuring Nepeta, which he would feel completely fucking terrible about, and then not allow himself to ACT like he feels terrible about it. Even if they stay in the relationship, it would kill his vibe, since when he isn't on an outright murder spree, he doesn't want to hurt his friends ("wwhat kind of friend wwould i be"). And that's not even factoring in how much EQUIUS would flip out over it.

I also don't think Nepeta is particularly equipped to deal with Eridan's problems, even if she does recognize and sympathize with them more than most on their team. Although she'd have more success than others, I think it'd leave her exhausted, because Eridan is exhausting. A Heart player obsessed with true feelings and sincerity and genuineness is just a bad match for the kid who's 90% façade.

So, ultimately, I think they'd resolve to really good friends, and Nepeta might wind up being a middle leaf for Eridan in an auspicetism situation, since Eridan... tends to draw aggro, and Nepeta at least would care about him enough that she doesn't want to see him get killed (even in the comic, as Nepetasprite, she expresses sadness that Eridan is dead, although she doesn't seem to know about his murders).

Eridan is also a roleplayer, lest we forget, and if Nepeta is able to draw out rare flashes of genuineness, they do have a bunch in common - she could commiscerate with him over the thrill of the hunt (although she'd have to be careful not to get too into the weeds about the, uh, Troll Murder aspect), RP with him (in a safe environment), or gossip about romance. They're both pretty painfully sincere people at their core, so while I ultimately don't see them being particularly romantically compatible, I do really love the idea of them being close friends. If only Eridan didn't always make things Fucking Weird.

And also since I really love pitch FefNep, Nepeta becoming friends with Eridan would help fuel her hate dates with Feferi - ":33 < do you even realize how messed up killing lusii fur YOU left him???" "W)(at would you )(ave preferred, t)(at my lusus went )(ungry and krilled everybody? 3X0"

#eridan ampora #homestuck #nepeta leijon

[ellephlox]

Devil's (Bad) Luck

Pairing: Matt x fem!reader

Summary: You get cursed to be extremely unlucky for a day. Matt has to deal with the fallout — in other words, every inconvenience now bombarding you, including (but not limited to) spiders, falling stop signs, and running into Wilson Fisk. 

Warnings: None, only some light profanity!

It was one thing to know that magic existed, and another to experience it with the complete firsthand, fairy-dust-in-your-face 3D encounter. 

Seriously, though, it was actually a sparkly dust, and at first you weren’t sure whether to laugh or swear when a hooded man arrived out of nowhere and drenched you in glitter. You were in the library, picking up three books you’d ordered for the week — a short one that you felt sure you could devour tomorrow, since it was supposed to rain; another one that you hoped you were going to like since it had a lot of praise; and lastly, a third that you got as a Plan C in case one of the first two didn’t draw you in as you had hoped. 

It was then, that you were mulling over the third book and whether or not it was a reliable Plan C, when the glitter hit you in the face. 

If you were anyone other that you, then you probably would have laughed it off, or at least just said something to the hooded man — something along the lines of Why the hell did you just chuck sparkles in my face? Instead you just panicked at first, certain that he’d tossed some sort of poison at you, and then upon realizing it was glitter you stood there, agape; partially alarmed by the alacrity with which he had approached you and struck dumb by the fact that it was glitter, of all things. 

Well, Matt will think it’s hilarious, at least. You’d begun to keep a shared Google doc with him titled WEIRD NY THINGS, and throughout the day both of you would add to the list so that it was now a few pages long. Matt, unfortunately, had the privilege of experiencing the bulk of strange encounters, as he was the one out from dusk until two in the morning. Most of your contributions were amusing or bizarre interactions that you witnessed on the subway. 

Brushing the glitter off of you, you went to the desk to check out the books. 

“Just these,” you said, smiling at the woman behind the desk and handing her your library card. She scanned it, frowned, and then scanned again. 

“It’s declining,” she said, handing it back to you.

“Declining?” You smiled nervously. “Well, I can confidently say that I didn’t exceed my credit limit.” It was a bad joke, and the librarian didn’t return the smile. She typed in the number on the back of your card. 

“It looks like your account has been requesting books online from Fort Myers, Florida. Have you been there recently?”

“Uh, no.”

“Okay. I’m putting a hold on your card and you’ll have to order a new one. Someone’s hacked yours.”

“People hack library cards? Why, to steal $20 worth of books?”

“It happens,” was all she said, and you left the library empty-handed. That was only the first of several other unfortunate circumstances that befell you on your way home. You went to the grocery store next, to buy fixings for supper, and opened your phone to text Matt in case he needed you to pick up anything, only to find it dead. Two minutes later you stepped aside in the aisle, to allow another shopper more space, and bumped into the jellies behind you, two of which fell to the floor with horribly loud crashes and shattered in a gooey mess of pectin, strawberry, and raspberry. It didn’t help that the worker you alerted about the mess got pissed, grumbling that he’d just arrived at work and didn’t have time “for shitty imbeciles like you.” And then one of your paper bags split while you were on the subway, sending kiwis, potatoes, and frozen peas tumbling down the floor.

When you finally arrived back at the apartment — manhandling the peas, potatoes, and kiwis in your arms — you couldn’t find your key. And since your phone was dead, you had no way to call Matt. It was Saturday, and he was likely at Fogwell’s, getting in a morning workout by punching the living daylights out of a bag. 

At least you didn’t have to sit outside of the apartment for very long. Matt ascended the stairs in his sweats and tee shirt, white cane still held loosely in his right hand, about half an hour later. 

“Thank goodness you’re here, I thought I’d be stuck out here for hours and I really want lunch,” you said, relieved.

“Why do you smell like jelly?” he asked, eyebrows drawing in. 

You sighed. “I have lots of things to tell you, if you don’t mind me venting to you for the next hour.”

“And you know you’ve got bird poop in your hair?”

“Are you serious? Shit!”

“Why are you holding all of the groceries out here?”

“Like I said — I have to vent to you later, and it involves sparkles,” you grumbled, accepting Matt’s hand so that he could pull you to your feet. “Bird poop is my first priority, though.”

It wasn’t until after your shower (a shower in which you used thrice the amount of shampoo as normal, and rinsed as quickly as possible because there was, for whatever reason, no hot water) that everything made sense. You came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around you, and turned on the television to the news as you slipped on a sweater and pants. 

“—gotten word from the Sorcerer Supreme that anyone in the vicinity of Hell’s Kitchen should be wary of this man,” the news reporter was saying. “While his identity has not been confirmed, the glitter-like substance — which has been used on at least three individuals so far — has been verified as—”

Matt chose to call to you at that moment. “Mashed or baked potatoes?”

“Wait, wait! Sorry, Matt, hang on—” You turned up the volume on the television.

“—causing what has been given the moniker ‘Friday the Thirteenth Syndrome’, after the extreme bad luck that comes to its victims for the next twenty-four hours. The Sorcerer Supreme has assured the public that any victims of this man will endure no lasting effects, though they should take care to not engage in any risky behavior until the effects of the substance have worn off. Coming up next on Channel 14 News, we have breaking news coming from Manhattan, where Spider-Man and Deadpool have been videotaped attacking a man dressed as a gorilla at a local nightclub—”

You shut off the television triumphantly. “Friday the Thirteenth Syndrome!”

Matt paused from where he was peeling potatoes. “Come again?”

“Did you not hear the segment I was just blasting through the living room?” you asked, wandering into the kitchen and joining Matt at the cutting board to help peel using the spare knife. 

“I was a bit preoccupied tuning out the couple having sex two floors above us.”

“Okay. Gross. Well, long story short, a guy threw something at me today and now I’ve been cursed to be unlucky for the next twenty-four hours. I knew something was off, because no one just happens to be unlucky enough to shatter the jelly and get yelled at and then locked out all in one day, but—” You stopped short as your potato you were sawing at split open to reveal a rotted center. 

Matt’s nose twitched almost instantly. “Burn that, please.”

“Evidence!” you said emphatically, picking up the potato and waving it at him. “This is it, Matt! Evidence that I’m unlucky! Of all the potatoes, I just happened to get the rotten one? This is undeniable evidence.”

“Hasty generalization,” Matt corrected. 

“We’re not in court, Matt.”

“Sorry. It’s a habit.” Matt rubbed the back of his head. “I guess I believe you, then? Not that I think you’d lie, just that it’s a bit... far-fetched.”

“It’s magic,” you enthused. “We’re experiencing magic, Matt, for a full twenty-four hours. So soak it up and enjoy it, because it’s not often that—”

“Y/N, your sleeve is getting dangerously close to the stove.”

“Right.” You shifted away before your sweater sleeve could make contact with the flames by the stove. 

Your enthusiasm didn’t last very long. The entire afternoon was a bombardment of the worst possible luck you could have imagined; it even got to a point that you were scared Matt was going to get annoyed with you, and the idea of just your presence ruining his Saturday began to stress you out more than the prospect of whatever ill-fated misfortune was about to strike next. Still, you played two games of Monopoly with Matt on the braille board you’d bought for him last Christmas, and both games you lost miserably after landing on Matt’s properties with every single roll of the dice. 

“This was a horrific idea,” you said, pushing the last of your money at Matt. “We’re not doing this until the stupid glitter stuff wears off.”

“So you’re not in the mood to play some chess?”

“I hate everything about this,” you complained. “Luck is dumb. Maybe I’ll just test my luck for fun and go pick a fight at a bar or something.”

“That’s not happening,” Matt objected, and it looked as though he would have said more, but his phone interrupted him with its mechanical iteration of Foggy. Foggy. Foggy. Foggy. He picked it up while you began to scrape the mess of paper money back into the Monopoly box. 

“Hey, Foggy. No. I don’t think so.” Matt stood up, pacing into the living room. “He wants it today? Are you serious? I thought they approved our request to push out the trial. I don’t know if I can — well, I can, but...” He hesitated. “Y/N might be coming with me, if that’s alright.”

That was why, on a day so cold that you could see your breath, you were zipping up your winter coat and following Matt down the stairs out of his apartment. 

“It shouldn’t take more than an hour or two,” he told you apologetically. “There’s just this client who’s been costing us a lot of time and money, and he needs the paperwork by this afternoon in order to submit—”

“It’s okay, Matt. Really. I mean, you’re a lawyer; weekend hours are kind of a rite of passage, right?” You shivered. “What I’m less than ecstatic about is the fact that you’re forcing me to come along with you. I’d be perfectly content to sit on the couch and watch a movie.”

“With your luck, the ceiling would come down on your head. Or a burglar would break in and hold you at gunpoint.”

“So I’m safer on the street where we could get hit by a car?”

“You’re safer with me near,” he corrected. As though to prove his point, he suddenly steered you sharply to the left, so roughly that you almost fell over. A massive clang resounded right where you had been standing, and you looked down, alarmed, to see the broken half of a stop sign fallen beside you. 

“Oh my God!” a woman shouted from behind you. “That coulda killed you! You should sue for that!”

You looked dumbly at the sign. “Well, I do know a lawyer.”

Matt gave you what was almost a reproachful look. “This is why—”

“Why I have to stay by your side. I know. Ugh. This feels like having a driver’s permit again, when I couldn’t legally drive without an adult watching my every move.”

But once you were safely in the office of Nelson and Murdock, the next hour passed with a suspicious lack of unfortunate events. You sat rigidly in Matt’s chair, confined to the “permissible” activities of drawing on the notepad or reading a book on criminal justice, and bearing Foggy’s good-humored reaction to your situation. 

“If there’s a bad luck sparkle dust, then there’s got to be a good luck sparkle dust, right?” he said, popping back into Matt’s office. “Because I’m thinking we send Y/N off to find this hooded man again and ask him for the good luck version. Then all we need to do is have her buy a lottery ticket and no longer shall we dine on ham and cheese sandwiches at lunch.”

“If I won the lottery, paying for gourmet lunches wouldn’t be my first priority,” you said. “I’d buy a big house on the coast and dedicate the largest room to my own personal library.”

“With a guest house,” Foggy said. “So I can visit.”

“Okay,” you agreed. “And then I’d make sure that we have an in-house doctor who can tend to all of Matt’s injuries every single night. Ooh — and I’d also want one of those fish tanks that’s built into a wall. Did you ever watch that show Tank Masters or whatever it is on Animal Planet?” You snapped your fingers. “Tanked. I think that’s what it was called.”

Matt cleared his throat. “You guys know that I absolutely love your chatter to pieces, but—”

“Sorry. I’ll shut up,” you said. “How much paperwork do you have left?”

“Actually, it’s just about done. Now we just need to bring it to Mr. Devon.” Matt tilted his head at you. “Nothing unlucky has happened in the past hour or so.”

“Maybe it wore off earlier than expected,” you suggested. “He didn’t throw that much dust at me.”

“Catch.” Foggy tossed a pen at you and you caught it, bewildered. He shrugged. “If you were still unlucky, wouldn’t the pen have hit you in the head, or exploded?”

“Or she could just come,” Matt said. “It wouldn’t hurt.”

“Mr. Devon likes his privacy,” Foggy reminded him. “Remember he threatened to request a new lawyer when we had Karen come with us to take notes?”

Matt exhaled. “Okay. Y/N, you have to swear that you’re going to sit here the entire time and not do anything that has any chance of going wrong.”

You raised your hands defensively. “I’m not the one with a death wish, Mr. I-Punch-Bad-Guys-At-Night.”

“You’re deflecting.”

You sighed. “I promise. Where’s this Mr. Devon’s place?”

“On the other side of Hell’s Kitchen,” Matt said. “Which means I probably won’t  hear you if something goes wrong.”

“I’ll just scream really, really loudly if someone comes in to try to kill me so that you can pick it up,” you assured him. But the look on his face was so far from amused that you winced. “Sorry. Nothing’s going to go wrong, Matt. Look, I’ve been sitting here for a long time now, perfectly fine.”

Five minutes later, he and Foggy left, and you remained in the office of Nelson and Murdock, twiddling your thumbs and making a M.A.S.H fortune for yourself on the notepad. You showed Matt how to play it a month ago, and had written out an array of five-year predictions for him. His results gave him a career in the publishing industry, a penthouse suite in Manhattan, zero children, and a happy marriage with Elektra (the last of these predictions pissed you off and you didn’t bother making any M.A.S.H fortunes for yourself). 

Bored, you began crossing out the options, counting off by fours. It narrowed until you were married to Thanos, working for the Hand, living in the sewer, and mother to fifty-six children. 

Maybe the unluckiness hasn’t worn off.

Exasperated, you flipped open the criminal justice book, preparing yourself to read what was surely going to be mind-numbing jargon, when a siren suddenly began to wail. At first, you assumed it was the fire detector, because that went off every single time that Karen made the coffee, according to Matt. But the fire alarm above you was silent and dark. You craned your neck to see where the flashing red light was coming from, and your stomach dropped when you recognized what was emitting the high-pitched wail: the carbon monoxide detector. 

“Oh, come on,” you complained, to absolutely no one in particular. Matt had made you swear to stay put, but something told you that he’d also be pissed if he came back and you were sprawled out dead on his office floor from carbon monoxide poisoning. Resigning yourself to having to leave, you got up and gathered your phone and coat. 

It took only a minute to call 911 once you were on the street to let them know what was happening. The street was busy with people, so you stepped into the entrance of a hotel across the street where you were less likely to get crushed by a falling piano or get struck by lightning. 

That was a mistake, though. 

You rounded the corner of the foyer, hoping to find a sitting area that you could make yourself comfortable in, and ran straight into a large suited man who was standing there. You would have nearly fallen if you hadn’t steadied yourself in time, taking a few steps backward. 

“I’m so sorry—” you began, and then your heart stopped. 

This wasn’t even badluck. This was hellish luck, and for a moment you felt certain that you had to be having a nightmare, because no one, not even someone who was cursed, could be this unlucky. 

“Pardon me, ma’am,” Fisk said, voice gravelly and baritone. 

You started to speak but your throat had gone so dry that nothing came out. You cleared you throat, then started again. “My bad. I, uh, wasn’t looking where I was going.”

Fisk looked at you, and for a moment you felt sure that he could see traces of Daredevil on your face, where Matt touched your cheekbone and kissed the nape of your neck, as though there were glowing residuals there — because it was eerie how penetrating Fisk’s gaze was. But then he swung his eyes back to the man with whom he was talking and you were forgotten. 

Taking a breath to steady your heartbeat, you returned to the street, where there were already responders to the carbon monoxide. It turned out to be a malfunction of the alarm, and there was no trace of any carbon monoxide in the building, so you were allowed to return. 

Of course, nothing seemed to be simple at the moment, so you didn’t exactly return to the office as smoothly as you’d hoped. Someone hurrying down the street with a carton of cream-filled doughnuts, of all things, plowed right into you as ungracefully as you had run into Fisk, and only two minutes after that mishap, once you were sitting back at Matt’s desk and twirling the pen Foggy had thrown at you earlier, it exploded, right onto your hands and face. The worst part was that now you didn’t even dare go wash up, for fear of some brain-eating bacteria somehow getting from the sink water and into your body, or some other equally horrific misfortune. 

Matt and Foggy came back a half an hour later. You assumed that Matt could smell the powdered sugar, cream, and ink on you from far away, judging by his expression of unsurprised amusement, but the look on Foggy’s face was far too delighted. 

“A guy with cream doughnuts ran into me,” you said shortly before they could ask. “And then, yes, that pen you thought was such a good test earlier, Foggy, finally betrayed me, and now I desperately want a shower. Again.”

Matt’s lip twitched, and then he moved to his desk, picking up a notepad and pencil. 

“What are you doing?” you asked suspiciously.

“Making a note to add this to the WEIRD NY THINGS document,” he said, smirking slightly as he tore the note off and stuck it into his pocket. 

“Ha, ha. This must just be a riot for your senses, having a girlfriend who reeks of sugar and ink—”

But Matt’s face darkened and he cut you off. “Why do I smell him?” 

Him could only mean who you thought it meant. “Matt, don’t worry, I’m okay.”

Matt’s hand flitted onto your shoulder as though to assess your well-being. “Where’s Fisk? You’re sure you’re not hurt?” he demanded. “What happened?”

"Everything’s okay. Really. I had a false alarm for carbon monoxide so I went down into the street and then into the hotel but Fisk was there, so I left—”

“Fisk? As in Wilson Fisk? Like, Willie Fisk, the guy we’re always talking about? That Fisk?” Foggy said, his brow furrowing.

“Yeah. I maybe sort of... ran into him. Literally,” you admitted. “But everything’s okay, really! So I was kind of lucky in a sense, right?”

“No, you weren’t,” Matt said, his expression sour. “You could have been killed. What if you’d run into him while he was doing something illegal? He would have murdered you without blinking."

“But he didn’t. Although if you can smell Fisk underneath all this doughnut dust on me, I really want to shower even more now.” You stood up and stretched. “I’ll make us some coffee to-go. We’re free to leave, right? Is your thing with Mr. Devon over?”

“Yes, it’s over, and no, you’re not making coffee,” Foggy answered. “Because Matt will kill you if you die making coffee.” He trooped over to the kitchen, whistling as he started the Keurig. 

“I feel like Alexander,” you said absently. “Did you ever read that book? Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Except now it’s Y/N and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.”

Matt didn’t answer. His head was cocked ever so slightly at you. 

“What is it?” you asked warily. “Am I about to have a heart attack or something? Is there an earthquake coming? Please tell me there’s no meteorite coming to use my head as a landing pad.”

“Stay still,” he said, voice low. 

“What is it?”

“Stay still.” He edged around you, and swiftly swiped something off your back. You gasped as a spider fell to the floor and scurried towards the wall, but Matt followed it and quickly squashed it with his heel. You squinted at its twitching remains. 

“Please tell me that’s not a brown recluse,” you said, feeling suddenly lightheaded. “Is it? Is that a brown recluse?”

“Sorry to disappoint, but I haven’t memorized the various smells different spiders emit when squashed,” Matt said, smiling slightly. “It does smell venomous, though, so whatever it was, it wasn’t anything you’d want to get bitten by.”

“Back,” Foggy announced, handing you both cups of coffee. “I was trying to brainstorm risk-free activities and came up with something brilliant.”

“Meditating? Napping? Yoga?” you offered.

“Nope. It’s movie night,” Foggy said. “Tonight, us three — plus Karen if she’s not busy — where you, Y/N, will be surrounded by guards, a.k.a. us, who will ensure that nothing unlucky can happen to you.”

“Sounds good to me,” you said, bringing your coffee to your lips. 

“Wait!” Matt started, but it was too late; the coffee immediately burned the tip of your tongue and you pulled it away, swearing. 

“Damn it. That was my fault,” you said, nonetheless still glaring at the cup. “I can’t wait for this stupid spell to wear off.”

“Then let’s kill time,” Foggy said. “Not just movie night. A movie marathon night. Popcorn, hot cocoa, the works. My place.”

“Alright. And you’re forbidden to go anywhere alone, Y/N,” Matt said. 

“Come on, I can at least go to the bathroom alone—”

“Not a chance,” Matt said, and he looked far too pleased with himself. “I’ll just come with you.”

And despite being one of the most unlucky people in the world, right then you couldn’t help but feel like one of the luckiest, as Matt’s hand brushed against your back and he kissed the side of your head. 

A/N: I don’t know if anyone noticed while reading this but the premise was heavily inspired by Bad Day at Black Rock from Supernatural — one of my favorite episodes :)

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #marvel #matt murdock x fem!reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #x reader #reader insert #reader

[kittydesade]

I'm very sorry. Six months ago you commented on a Gordon Ramsey accessibility post that your job to help make websites accessible. How do I get that job? I would love that so much. I'm sure you've answered this before but I can't find it.

I, too, am sure I've answered this before, but I can't remember where and I'm not about to brave the Tumblr search feature to go looking, so you and @the0dd0ne get a twofer.

Hi, I'm not a bot, and I was wondering if I could ask you a weird career question? I saw your addition on that "Accessibility Nightmares" post where you mentioned it's your actual job to email websites about their lack of accessibility and what they need to do to make it accessible, and can I ask how you got into that? I got injured on the job and need to make a huge career change, and that type of work has always been really interesting to me, but I don't even know where to start to get into it! Also feel free to ignore this lol I know it's out of left field.

(This is actually the third question I've got on this, so no, not that out of left field.)

So the first thing to understand is that it's actually pretty hard to get into digital accessibility because there just aren't that many companies doing it. As far as I know from company meetings there aren't that many schools teaching it as a part of their core web development curriculum. It's just not that common to think about it as part of web development. Which is vastly irritating.

I started mucking around with the web when there was first a web to muck around on, but when the pandemic hit and my Mom suggested (in a hilarious twist of circumstances) that I go to one of those Learn to Code boot camps to get a certificate that said I actually knew my shit so I could get a job in web development. A number of these boot camps also have job placement programs and pipeline agreements with certain companies. and in a nutshell that's how I got into it. The company sent my boot camp a letter saying "we need N warm bodies" and they sent the company a list of names, I got interviewed, I got hired as a contractor, and after a couple years of good work for them I got invited to interview for a permanent position, which I got.

These days due to the state of the everything, there are probably 10-50 programmers for every open development position, depending on language and job type and company. It's a rough field out there and I got very, very lucky in my timing. But if you want to try it, the boot camp to job pipeline is probably your best bet. Ask the boot camp recruiters if they have connections to accessibility firms. If they don't, you can always try asking if they have connections to web development/site packaging firms and then check if the firms have an accessibility department. Tell the recruiter up front what you're looking to work in, and keep in mind that the recruiter's job is to convince you to give the boot camp your money. (Mine was $12k USD.)

For resources to study in the meantime, there's the A11y Project which has discussions, videos, articles, posts, etc about digital accessibility, a lot of good information. You can also look at the resources for the CPACC exam, I don't recommend taking it unless you have a few hundred USD to burn but you can definitely study up on the Body of Knowledge, which is a free PDF to download. And there is, in fact, an accessibility job board, although I don't have any experience with applying for any of these jobs cold.

The languages I use most in my job are HTML and jQuery, and I passively use (meaning I read and interpret but don't actually program in) JavaScript and CSS. This is mainly because we work with client sites and there's only so much of the client code we can touch; if there's a problem in the client code we can't touch we have to write it up and tell them to fix it. If you end up in house for some large brand you may end up working in more web development languages, but a lot of accessibility can be handled by basic HTML attributes called ARIA attributes (and roles) and there's the documentation on that. Another tool to have is your soft skills: communication, specificity of language, writing up good descriptions of what code does what so you can explain exactly what needs to be fixed where and why. You might also want to look at documentation on what makes good alt text, where it's needed, what kind of labels are standard, etc. I think you can find that in the A11y Project pages, but honestly I just learned it on the job working with senior developers.

It's a hard time to get into software development at all, let alone a niche field like web accessibility. But Europe is about to have a digital accessibility law come into effect in July of next year (that encompasses more than just the web, that's just my area of expertise) and the US is making slow but steady strides in requiring digital accessibility as well, so there are jobs out there and there might be companies hiring to capitalize on the need. There will definitely always be companies putting off conforming to regulations until the last possible minute, and then needing services and specialists. So study up, practice, and good luck!

#a11y #digital accessibility #accessibility

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (December 17-23, 2023)

Episode 7 of Monarch: Legacy of Monsters laid down significant Monsterverse lore, showing the moment Monarch finally revealed itself to the public (under hilarious circumstances) and how the organization's partnership with Apex Cybernetics began. I did not find May's long-awaited backstory super compelling, to be honest, I think because the proto-Apex company was so thinly sketched. And that Frost-Vark better not be dead. :(

An incredible three Godzilla comics released last week: DC/Legendary's Justice League vs. Godzilla vs. Kong #3 and IDW's Godzilla: War for Humanity #3 and Godzilla Rivals: Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon. The crossover lit a certain section of the Internet on fire with the revelation that Godzilla did, in fact, kill Superman the previous issue. Writer Brian Buccellato chalked it up to Godzilla's atomic breath having "a radioactive signature similar to [K]ryptonite," which as handwaves go is pretty good. Behemoth and Scylla had moments to shine as well, and the issue ended with Lex Luthor discovering a Mechagodzilla eye. Glad Godzilla won't be the only Toho character in the comic; that would've been a bit lame.

Godzilla: War for Humanity remaining a thrilling read, and the Super MOGUERA debuting in this issue is not to be missed. Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon starts with a content warning for depiction and discussion of attempted suicide, which certainly surprised me. It's another strong issue, neither callous nor didactic, and told so efficiently there's plenty of room for the titular bout (which sometimes has felt like an afterthought in Rivals stories). Also, Jet Jaguar talks—something Toho forbade in a comic earlier this year, for whatever reason. Anyway, he's exactly the 'bot you would expect him to be. Hope IDW can keep him chattering in the future.

You've probably seen my flurry of posts already, but it bears repeating: The Boulet Brothers' Dragula, a drag reality competition found on Shudder, aired a kaiju episode. Reality TV isn't my bag, but I thoroughly enjoyed the competitors' kaiju-inspired costumes and performances. I also kept ping-ponging between awe that Americans are just expected to know what a kaiju is now and yelling at the hosts for, say, not naming any kaiju outside of Toho's Big Five.

Hot on the heels of the black-and-white re-release of Shin Godzilla comes Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color, which has to be the best title one of these things has gotten. As with Shin, this is no mere filter; each shot in the film was regraded, with director Takashi Yamazaki striving for "a style that looked like it was taken by masters of monochrome photography." It opens in Japan on January 12; no word yet on whether it will play in any other country.

Godzilla will follow in the steps of pop culture fixtures like The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars with Godzilla: The Official Cookbook by Kayce Baker, due from Titan Books on September 10. (You can tell it's official because he's actually on the cover.) 60 recipes lie within. It's a given that I'm going to buy something Godzilla-related that's this silly; I just have to pick up another cookbook first so it won't be the first one I ever own.

I was surprised to realize that McDonald's has never done anything Godzilla-related; far less prolific fast-food chains have worked with the monster, from White Castle to Carl's Jr. The first salvo in the campaign was pretty underwhelming—BE@ABRICK figures that can only be won via lottery, with an entirely plain Godzilla. That replica MogeGoji suit looked great in the ad, at least. Tokusatsu is being kept alive in the Godzilla franchise through some truly odd means. The follow-up ad/promo was a lot better, but that's a matter for next week's post.

This is at least kaiju-adjacent—James Wan's long-gestating The Call of Cthulhu movie seems to finally be going somewhere, as revealed in roundabout fashion by a Deadline article. I thought the 2005 silent version was just fine, but presumably this will be produced by his company Atomic Monster, which is long overdue for an actual giant monster movie.

#kaiju week in review #monarch legacy of monsters #godzilla #dragula #comics #idw #kaiju

[gloriousburden]

in this post… i am going to speak on the discriminatory/ignorant joke that was made in thor ragnarok. before i do so, i would like to clarify a few things:

i am a part of the group being mocked. i am roma, or a gypsy as most are more familiar with that term. some do find the term “gypsy” offensive in certain contexts/altogether, but i personally reclaim it and don’t mind being called it. (unless it is used in a derogatory sense, of course.)

another term my people are more known by is “romani” but i personally don’t really use that term. roma = romani/gypsy. but of course there is nothing wrong with using romani!!

since i am quite vocal on here about my dislike of thor ragnarok, i feel it’s important that i state that i am not using this discriminatory/ignorant joke to prove any sort of point other than this is not right. do not weaponize discrimination towards any group. (even ones that you are a part of.) this is real life discrimination that affects real people, and those who face discrimination deserve better than merely being used to prove points on the internet. it’s not fair to the group being affected at all.

here is the scene/dialogue in question:

the context is bruce (who is dressed in tony’s clothing) mocking thor for wearing a towel/blanket (i really can’t tell which it’s supposed to be sorry everyone 😭😭😭😭) over his head as a disguise by calling him a gypsy. the joke is that the towel/blanket is supposed to resemble the headscarves that are a part of our traditional clothing.

why is this offensive?

this is offensive because headscarves are a part of our culture and have a significant meaning. similarly to a lot of other cultures, a woman will wear one to signify that she is married. (but it is also worn in other contexts as well. specifically to display our culture/traditions.) it is also offensive to other groups who wear headscarves. mocking cultural/traditional clothing is not okay in any circumstances. it makes those who wear them feel alienated, it makes them the laughingstock, and it also encourages discrimination/ignorance towards those groups.

it is specifically ignorant and wrong, considering that my people (as well as many other groups) have been targeted in hate crimes and mocked due to our cultural garb, as well as our appearances in general. countries have actually banned the use of our traditional clothing in order to get us to forcefully assimilate throughout history.

it also… makes no sense canonically and was deeply unnecessary. that’s what is the most upsetting to me. asgardians (thor specifically) don't even know what coffee is (diner scene in thor 1) but they would know what my people are and how to make fun of them? many real life people don’t even know who we are outside of ignorant stereotypes. why would someone from space (who doesn’t have much knowledge on humans) know of us enough to make fun of us?

(but thor is not shown laughing at/encouraging the joke, it is only bruce thinking it’s hilarious...)

my point is… thor wouldn’t even get the joke. they just went OUT OF THEIR WAY to make bruce make a discriminatory/ignorant joke towards a group that thor wouldn't even know about nor even understand the stereotypes we’re mocked for. it is just so ignorant and unnecessary...

although it is obviously not the worst thing that could be said about us and many would think i’m overreacting, i SPECIFICALLY find this offensive because mark ruffalo has been discriminatory to roma before and has been called out for it prior to thor ragnarok in 2015. he apologized for it, but clearly did not change as a person as thor ragnarok came out in 2017. this isn’t just an ignorant joke, this is mark ruffalo continuously being racist even after he has previously apologized/been called out for it.

why make such an unnecessary joke that literally makes no sense canonically??? asgardians don’t have much knowledge on humans/human culture. this was just both marvel and mark ruffalo going out of their way to mock us.

i was in genuine shock when i watched thor ragnarok for the first time and saw the scene. it’s a little hurtful to see characters from your favorite movies mocking your people… ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS SO FUCKING UNNECESSARY!!!

once again, of course this is not the worst, most offensive thing i’ve heard and is only surface level. but i’m not going to downplay it and act like it’s okay. this one case stands out to me in particular because like i said, mark ruffalo has previously been called out for being anti roma.

i am not using this to “cancel” anyone, but i personally do not support mark ruffalo at all. if he is not racist, he is at the least very, very ignorant. i don’t know who was responsible for this exactly so i do not want to put the blame on anyone for no reason, but… i would say taika waititi is at least a little responsible for this considering it is his movie, and i would believe he has to approve of each scene/line of dialogue. this is one of the reasons i do not support him either.

unfortunately, this isn’t even the end of the mcu’s anti roma discrimination. maybe i will elaborate on it one day, but i know a lot of people already have on here. (specifically about the erasure of wanda/pietro being roma as well as jewish.)

i am more than willing to explain further to anyone who has questions/would like to understand more!! i am proud of being roma, but i often do not tell others out of a fear of discrimination. i have been discriminated against before as well as told i’m overreacting in the past when i’ve called out anti roma discrimination, so it took a lot to make this post. but it’s very important to share awareness, and that’s exactly what motivated me to make this post. if you disagree with this… all that i ask is to please be respectful about it.

#anti thor ragnarok #thor ragnarok criticism #mcu criticism

[goreshitrushi2]

You’ve probably answered this a dozen times but what about Kizashige got you into it and what made you stay into it?

I. well, I basically got into corpse party for kizami and morishige in the first place, back in late 2019. serial killer AND gore obsessed freak, I knew from the very beginning they would be my favorites. but when I read kizami's wiki page specifically his relationship section over morishige and how he suicidebaited him, it legitimately sounded so hilarious to me I had to witness it so I watched last waltz before even finishing my playthrough of blood covered.

and I think it ruined my life. last waltz is definitely one of the biggest contributing factors to what I got out of kizashige through literally the entire thing. like the set up of kizami watching morishige perform, kizami's antagonism mixed with genuine intrigue ("those of like mind have a certain bond in here", "MY PREY HAS BEEN CAUGHT"), the fact that morishige isn't even receptive to kizami's intimidation in the beginning (talking back at kizami even when he's restraining and twisting his arm!??!?!?!)

no, that part was actually crazy to me in how oblivious morishige was to how much of a threat kizami was. it really made a large part of my interpretation of their dynamic be that morishige wouldn't give a single fuck about kizami's power (i.e, social status) which kizami would be really surprised by (annoyed that all his effort in his presentation has no effect on this one person? relieved that finally there's someone who doesn't care for any of that bullshit and can see him for who he really is?).

and that's where I get into the domestic shit because when I started thinking of them outside of heavenly host, that really made me obsessed with kizashige. I think it's fun and cute, but when they only interact like twice in very specific circumstances, you think it would be really hard, right. good thing they parallel each other in like every way possible.

the death thing is obvious, they both feel dehumanized by their families, and scenes like when morishige talks about how people only care about popularity contests instead of actual talent vs where kizami rants about how people only care about trivial things and humans can be so much better than that. maybe it's just because I'm a jaded college student, but that shit is seriously relatable to me lol. AND I WANT THEM TO RELATE TO EACH OTHER.

they are bitter, cynical, and lonely people, and it's that persuasive loneliness to the both of them that gets me. that's why they both die in heavenly host-- morishige never allows himself to open up and connect with the people he meets to get out of heavenly host, always berating who he pairs up with in his head or outright refusing their help and trying to find mayu on his own, only to succumb to his obsession. kizami completely letting his own beliefs of himself being incapable to connect with others dictate his actions as some sort of "fuck you" to everyone else, until he meets yuka and thinks he can finally gain that sense of humanity, but does it in the wrong way entirely.

it's relatable, especially in how much of it is something they both enable in themselves. there's no shame in admitting that I'm really attached to them because of my own history with mental illness. I project onto them a lot, it's kind of eerily easy to do so. to me, they are somehow just really evocative of a specific experience growing up mentally ill where it's all you've ever been, and either taking it to the extreme or making some sort of peace with that.

just individually, I have never liked two characters so much before, they are both so genuinely uniquely written and layered characters to me. I find them both very comforting and interesting and have so much fun working with them together or alone.

I love kizashige.

#I feel like I've said certain points in this before but this was a fairly extensive answer. and even then I can't put everything #I think about them into words #I am delusional and they are soulmates CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH

[goddesspharo]

emoji fic asks: 🥺🌞✅

(let it be known that i resisted a very strong urge to send you the WIP emojis)

[fic emoji ask game!]

If you had asked me about the WIPs, it would basically just be wildly out of context make outs!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I don't know that I feel strongly enough about my own writing to be "in the feels" about it as I'm writing, but I do have a soft spot for when the more emotionally closed off character lets their guard down a bit. The first use of a pet name is always a good one (when that first "baby" hits, just know that I'm patting myself on the back for throwing it in there), something I was NEVER one for until they had Selina Kyle use it so deftly in The Batman. (It's all about how COOL the person saying it is and how much of a dweeb the person they're saying it to is. Matt Reeves was a real one for translating that specific bit of their dynamic from the comics so well.)

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I almost always do the bulk of my writing at night. Alas, what I prefer (reasonably early at night, maybe when I don't have to be up early the next day) and what actually happens (always starts around 11pm the night before I have to be up at 6am the next morning to go to work and be on call) are not the same. Basically, nearly every fic that I have written in the past year has resulted in me being sleep deprived the next day.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Every once in a while, I see that tumblr post that is some variation of "look at me writing the same story again" (or conversely, Nick Miller's "there are only seven types of stories") and I feel like that's BASICALLY me these days? Am I just writing the longest "idiots fall in love" anthology? Sometimes the idiots are different and there are extenuating circumstances, sometimes they fall into hate first, sometimes they're not even gonna call it love, but that's essentially what I'm doing. One day, someone's gonna be like GIRL, FIND ANOTHER ANGLE and then maybe I'll tackle dog vs zombie.

Speaking of Nick Miller, I do feel like Jake Johnson was right on the money when he recently said, "Whenever I'm writing something, if there's not a love story, I don't know what it is." (Hilariously, he said that while promoting his movie Self-Reliance which only really works in the twenty minutes he lets it get rom-com lite with Anna Kendrick so he should've stuck with that instinct MORE.) I don't need or want all stories to be love stories, but I find that it grounds them a bit to have some sort of emotional connection involved. But recent fics aside, I'm also less of a plot-driven fic writer so of course I'm saying that. That said, I tend to usually have one person be wiser to the relationship dynamics than the other person. They're almost never on the same page until they are because I don't know how to sustain even my own interest if everyone is transparent about their feelings from the very beginning. Someone ALWAYS falls first and my favorite thing in the universe is to sprinkle just enough in it throughout so that when it finally clicks for the other person, it's not a shock that the robot has fallen in love. On a more superficial note, you're always gonna get some pop culture references in anything that I write.

#ask me things #we can pretend there is a thought process behind any of this

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

Hi, Jil!! Just popping in because of your tags on my fic asdfghjkl

I did write "this one is for my Pokémon mutuals" with the thought "specifically Jil" in parentheses in my head--you're like ... my main Pokémon mutual. Gotta share some breadcrumbs of Aria/Eusine with THE Pokémon mutual, of course.

Also Eusine is a fairly arrogant character--he's very proud of his knowledge of myths (oh no ... a man who likes history ... and me having a history degree ... how could I resist ... /lh) and does tend to dismiss others when they try to correct him. He's not as dismissive of Aria or Morty, though, because ... *childhood friends beam.* Also maybe he likes Aria that way, so he's a bit easier on her, who knows--

Anyway, I had the misfortune of seeing the only (?) Johto anime episode with him as a kid, and little 9-year-old Sarah really though, "Man. This guy's a jerk." Little did she know she'd fall for that jerk years later. We don't talk about that--

The loss of the shiny Pidgey exists because I was training Ollie (my Chikorita/Bayleef/Meganium) in HG the other day, encountered a shiny Pidgey, and realized I didn't have any more Poké Balls--massive loss. But also a win because ship lore. And also the second time I've run into a shiny Pidgey while playing a Johto game ... maybe someday I'll actually catch the thing.

ANYWAY. I always felt Suicune would prefer Aria over Eusine (similar to the way the plot unfolds in the games, with Eusine eventually ceding the right to catch Suicune to the player), and while she would like to catch it, she's not as ... let's say ... passionate about it as Eusine is. Hence why Suicune tends to respond to her.

... she does think him chasing after Suicune all the time cute, though. It's very subtle, but she would've been mega embarrassed to fail that Pidgey in front of him--because, while it's not stated directly, she's imagining a scene where she failed at her life goal in front of her crush. It's not like Eusine doesn't do that on a regular basis, but that only makes it worse for Aria asdfghjkl

I also liked writing the subtle “… you were talking to Suicune about me?” followed by Aria immediately changing the subject--and then her adjusting his bow tie later. Subtle things get me all the time--

Anyway, uh--Morty, huh? 👀 /lh

(And sorry for the essay--I just. Have a lot to say and like to respond to tags through asks, sometimes asdfghjkl)

~ heart-of-aspiration 📖

HI SARAHH!! - oh man the fact you had me in particular to share the aria/eusine ship makes me SO honored ("THE pokemon mutual", that made me audibly giggle) and i'm honestly here for it, and you can tell i can definitely like - have the capacity to take batch after batch of hardcore pokemon ship/self insert lore (and be equally as talkative and lengthy about it...) so naturally i'd immediately gravitate here, and it's characters belonging to gen 2 which i'm incredibly biased to.... AHFJSHFGAS

i should've expected this from eusine - it would seem that he doesn't seem too dissimilar to his manga counterpart (which is radiating the same vibes as how you written him, he's definitely arrogant but kind enough to help) i actually should share some panels of him maybe! i'll admit that he was really hilarious for being lowkey petty due to a certain circumstance in the manga, but moving on!

i respect that his attitude is toned down towards aria and morty, they're totally good friends and morty doesn't seem like someone who'd engage in fights quickly - he's super relaxed and wise...

the whole pidgey story got me WAHUSHASHDAF THAT'S SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITYYY but that moment was enough to be a realistic incident for aria and i LOVE it. i hope you can actually catch that shiny birdie!!

i can totally imagine a scenario where she notices eusine on his failed attempts to catch suicune and he probably curses to himself (assuming he's alone) and aria would just quietly laugh, reminding herself how much she adores him and how cute he is for that - i swear i know a dynamic where they had a similar vibe to this but i can't seem to point out who or what -- but my point is, i love that dynamic so much. it doesn't feel TOO much like a rivalry but it's enough to at least poke fun at each other's professions + their little romance heheh ITS JUSTTT. YEAHHH!!!

let's not talk about morty /lh /pos the headband makes him look so cute combined with his relaxed personality and i'm on a hunt for a misdreavus and to name it after him as we speak WAHUSDHAUFS (IT'S NOT SUCCESSFUL HOWEVER BUT I'M GETTING THERE) let's just say he's one of the early crushes i have - not too active but i... would like to hold his hand HWAJHSDJAHJFDSAF. if he ever resurfaces im running to you immediately /pos /lh

#AND AGAIN - I PROMISE YOU - i genuinely love to respond to lengthy asks - it feels like having a nice conversation. #and you don't have to feel awkward when trying to carry on with the convo #so if you have something big to say to me - hit me in the tags or ask box :3 #~ mail #sarah tag

[lokigodofaces]

Okay, I'm going to talk about Rocket's prosthetic obsession thanks to the new comments from James Gunn. I have yet to see the Holiday Special (tonight hopefully!), but I think I have enough context to know what is happening.

I have always found Rocket's obsession funny in a way, but over the years with the way Gunn has spoken on the subject, it seems that him and I find it funny for two different reasons.

I now believe that the intended meaning behind the joke was "haha racoon is stealing prosthetics, now amputee doesn't have their prosthetic, haha." A very ableist type of humor. And I'm kind of surprised I didn't see it earlier. I don't know, it just never crossed my mind, and as y'all could probably guess that Guardians of the Galaxy isn't a part of the MCU I spend a ton of time thinking about. The prosthetics thing is something I forget about until I rewatch them again. But now after putting literally any thought into this, yeah, I'm pretty sure this was the goal. Which is unfortunate because I've always interpreted it in another way which is funnier and actually has to do with Rocket as a character.

Rocket's prosthetic obsession has always been funny to me in a "this guy has issues" sort of way. But isn't that the basis behind a lot of the humor in the Guardians movies? Rocket stole anulax batteries for the heck of it, Drax thinks he's invisible if he stands still or eats nuts slowly, Yondu joked about eating Peter when he was a kid, baby Groot apparently chewed someone's toe off, Peter tried to explain sex while smiling like a 12 year old to the head of an extremely elitist and eugenicist planet, Mantis is convinced Kevin Bacon is an Avenger, Nebula got a whole ship to try to kill Gamora and proceeded to crash it instantly, and Gamora picked up the guns from said ship two seconds later and shot at Nebula with that. Random examples. I could go on and on. These people have problems. And it's because of trauma. All of them have wildly different backgrounds, but all of them went through something traumatic. And trauma doesn't just produce soft spoken people who apologize if you run into them. Traumatized people can be all sorts of problematic.

I think one of the beauties behind the Guardians franchise is that all of them are a little unhinged, unfriendly, defensive, etc. But they all get along after a while. And it is hard. Some people criticized the second volume, saying that they just completely re-did the character development from the first. No. The Guardians are a wacky found family and family doesn't always get along, especially if the found family is as wild as the Guardians. They fight and struggle to get along but they all truly love each other. I think it's beautiful.

An obsession with prosthetics is unhinged and frankly unacceptable in real life circumstances. Really, I think most of us would not get along with the Guardians if we met them. If it weren't for comedy being its main genre, I think we'd get lots of discourse about all of the Guardians being terrible people versus meow meows, but a lot of the despicableness of their actions goes over people's heads because of the comedy. But, darn it, Rocket's obsession fits in so well with the craziness of these movies. And it helps that those jokes were delivered well!

The very first one was the leg in the first movie. It's one of the things Rocket lists when he is telling the others how they'll escape the prison. When I was watching it, I assumed he needed a certain mechanical part that can be found in prosthetics because his plan was very technological. You have the action scenes of them fighting the guards, then it cuts to a scene of Peter sitting down with the amputee, asking how much he wants for the prosthetic. The contrast adds to the humor. Then Peter gives Rocket the prosthetic and Rocket laughs, explaining how he finds it hilarious to steal people's prosthetics. And Peter is reacting like the audience, shouting at Rocket because this guy has problems! Because the joke should be that they're all ridiculous, not that some guy doesn't have a prosthetic now!

It's disappointing to find that so many people are being ableist with this when this works with Rocket's character (okay, he's the one that's easiest for me to list random ridiculous things. He has some wild issues). And, yes, this means that Rocket is ableist. Like I said, if it weren't for the genre there'd be lots of discourse on these people. My thoughts are that he's definitely improved as a person (now he's giving his stolen prosthetics to people that need them, like Thor), fiction isn't reality, trauma doesn't excuse being a jerk but I can see how he's the way he is, if you have problems with this don't be a jerk. Whatever. I don't care enough. But it seems like people, Gunn included, are leaning away from my interpretation and towards just plain ableism.

Anyway, my explanation for how Nebula got Bucky's arm is that she showed up at Sam's house (Bucky is celebrating Christmas with the Wilsons) and asked Bucky if there was a [insert animal that is not a racoon] that asked about his prosthetic during any of the fights against Thanos. He said yes, she said he wanted to give him a fake Christmas gift because of this ridiculous obsession. Bucky said he was in, and they made a paper mache arm or something like that, don't tell Rocket.

#rocket racoon #peter quill #nebula #gamora #mantis #drax #yondu udonta #groot #guardians of the galaxy (2014) #guardians of the galaxy vol 2 (2017) #guardians of the galaxy holiday special (2022) #james gunn critical #bucky barnes

[autopotion]

I'm playing a slightly modified version of the challenge run I wanted to do in fall '22, i.e. I have to recruit almost all of my units with Invitation and I can't change them out of the job I recruited them with, and it's an absolutely fascinating way to play FFT for a couple of reasons.

It might not seem like it, but switching just one unit to your side can turn the tide of battle in a major way. I invited the most useless character in the Slums of Dorter fight (the archer who is not equipped with any weapons at all) and was kicking myself for it, except he instantly drew most enemy fire away from my more important units (Ramza & Tia, my mediator). Life-saving.

I'm actually paying attention to Zodiac compatibility so I have higher success rates, meaning I don't waste as much time with misses (for the most part). The downside of this is my roster is going to be filled with fire signs LMAO.

The times I pay less attention to Zodiac compatibility are when there are female generics on the field, which is a noticeably rare occurrence. Like, it was always a fun treat to face them in battle in the average playthrough, but now that my options are limited & the naturally occurring women are so few, I find I'm planning battles around recruiting a particular female generic. I failed to nab one of Miluda's priests, but I grabbed her time mage in the second fight. I've started compiling a list of every battle which features female generics and in which Jobs.

Some units start to feel kind of... expendable. Example: I recruited a Bomb in Sweegy Woods and promptly remembered that Bombs suck. I used that Bomb in Dorter as bait and didn't bother to waste a turn resurrecting it when it died. This is a perma-loss run as well (save for Ramza & Tia), so I can't restart when I lose a unit, but I found I cared much less about keeping the Bomb alive vs. the linchpins of my playthrough. I'm also not quite as cavalier about units with rare jobs, especially if they're women (like that time mage), but male knights you can practically pick up off the ground. Like my dude knight, Stone. There's definitely a hierarchy of unit worth (not the least because I only have sixteen slots, thanks PSX). Which is HILARIOUS considering Ramza's arc is about the inherent worth of all life, not just the ones society deem important. It seems more merciful to recruit units in battle instead of just killing them all, but the fate of a recruited unit is less certain--will I strip them of their equipment and kick them out on the street? Will I use them as a diversion to draw fire away from my central characters, or as bait to capture a more valuable unit? I feel kind of evil lol.

The circumstances under which I invite units into my party also create interesting little stories. Like that time mage I yoinked from Miluda, Silky (which is SUCH a cute name, half the reason I went for her). Silky was the only other unit left alive, my mediator cornered her until she agreed to join us, and then we killed Miluda. How would Miluda have felt in that moment, watching her last ally betray simultaneously her and their cause, by crossing the floor and joining up with this snot-nosed noble boy? That's crazy dude. I'm kind of obsessed with Silky now.

#fft blogging

[juniperhillpatient]

The Drill Re-watch

The Dangerous Ladies are back! And they have a big scary drill. I love how Mai is just happy to get something to do & I had honestly forgotten how consistently ecstatic Ty Lee is at any opportunity for violence. She's so adorable & scary at the same time. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Ty Lee? +1000 iconic behavior points to her for taking out all those earth-benders & scaring Katara. I had also forgotten just how scared of Ty Lee Katara is & how much she dislikes her. Katara yelling & calling Ty Lee a circus freak was a badass moment. +1000 iconic behavior points. Mai disobeying Azula just because she doesn't want to get muddy & popping up in the end like "we lost" in a deadpan voice was hilarious & very based of her, +500 iconic behavior points. Sokka's plan to take out the drill from the inside was pretty smart. +500 iconic behavior points.

My favorite part of the conflict with the drill was actually Ty Lee. I also really loved the flirty moment between her & Sokka, & Katara having to drag Sokka away. Honestly, I've never given much thought to Ty Lee/Sokka as a potential ship until this re-watch but their flirty banter during fights is so funny & cute. And I just can't get enough of Ty Lee happily kicking ass.

Surprisingly, I don't have that much to say about Azula in this episode which is rare for me but this was pretty much standard hero vs. villain "let's keep the Fire Nation out of Ba Sing Se" stuff. I mean, the Azula vs. Aang fight was badass, but I don't have any meaningful analysis of it. I think the most meaningful takeaway I have about Azula in this episode is regarding her relationship with Mai & Ty Lee. It's been commented on a hundred times that Mai disobeys Azula's order in this episode, but still, I'll comment on it again. I think it says a lot about the dynamic between Azula & Mai. Mai is a subordinate, & there is a power imbalance but Mai knows what she can & can't get away with & isn't afraid to do what she wants under certain circumstances. I think that the dynamic between these three girls is layered & this episode gives evidence to the idea that Azula does treat Mai & Ty Lee like friends to the extent that Azula can treat anyone like friends. Mai never felt coerced & if she was reluctant to follow specific orders, she simply didn't.

Jet & Zuko were my favorite part of this episode, actually. I can't believe it took me as long as it did spending time in this fandom to warm up to Jet/Zuko as a romantic pairing. Shocking & disappointing for me, really, I feel like I usually have good taste right away. SMH past me. Oh well, I see the truth now. They're literally Thee Template. Like, they met each other, said "be gay do crime" & had a touching heart to heart about both being traumatized & Zuko realized that he didn't always have to be alone & by the next episode Jet is following Zuko around like a lost puppy begging him to join his little found family. THEN freaking Iroh warms up his tea with fire-bending. Iroh, I was just warming up to you & starting to stand up for you, dude. What are you DOING? Zuko is right. For a supposedly wise old man, that's just.....really fucking stupid. I don't even know what to say. I guess Iroh got a little too comfortable? Like....what? Anyway....

Despite the rather contrived way in which it happened (yeah, sorry, I'm gonna say the writing is a LITTLE contrived like, I just don't get it is Iroh supposed to be smart or not?) I DO love a dramatic breakup between two characters who technically never even dated. Jet now knows that Zuko & Iroh are fire-benders. And MAN. A hundred smarter people than me have written fascinating essays & analyses & metas about the tragedy that Jet is right that they're fire-benders & more right than he knows because they're literally Fire Nation royalty & both personally responsible for a lot of harm inflicted by the Fire Nation but he's wrong because they are actually refugees now & not causing any new harm & also because he needs to let go of this obsessive hate because it will (& does) lead to his downfall like....We'll get to my thoughts on Jet's tragedy & his death when we get there but this set up for drama (by itself!!! pretending I'm watching for the first time!!!) IS excellent writing (if the specifics weren’t so contrived.) If only they ---- never mind, I'm done for now. I'm ending this ramble. Goodnight. Oh yes, Zuko & Jet get +1000 iconic behavior points for their quick little fling that will change them both forever & for having a dramatic breakup without Zuzu (king of drama on any other occasion!) even knowing about it.

Anyway, this was a great episode. I'm surprised I had so little to say about Azula & that she earned no iconic behavior points, but it's okay because she will blow everyone else out of the running in Crossroads of Destiny, I already know 100% for sure. Yeah, my favorite parts of this episode were the Dangerous Ladies & Jet & Zuko but I should also mention that I liked Sokka joking about the different group names even though "gaang" hasn't come up yet. And the hints about metal-bending & its potential were fun subtle foreshadowing.

#atla re watch #atla book 2 #the drill

[owlixx]

I’ve been playing Ratchet and Clank 2 lately. Also been playing War for Cybertron and Bulletstorm, all on my PS3. It’s funny how much better Ratchet and Clank 2 has aged as a 3D platformer despite being a console generation older. I’m still having actually a lot of fun with WFC and BS but they’re both verrrry 2011 or so. Washed out colors, camera shake, a certain stiffness to the animations and controls, gritty UI elements. But honestly I think part of it is that the PS3 port of RC2 is 60 fps which feels so much more modern. WFC really chugs under certain circumstances sometimes which is hilarious because it’s about 2 different shades of grey at any given time (at least in the first few missions anyways).

Anyways I also keep having the thought that ratchet and clank as a series is like if the shadow the hedgehog game was good (platforming and gun shooting combined)

Also ratchet and clank 2 is sooo much better. The weapons are so much more fun to use and the controls feel better and I just like everything more here.

I’ve been in a minor gaming rut since beating TOTK but maybe I’ll continue mainlining ratchet and clank. There’s still a lot of games there to beat and now I can play the new one on PC soon! Since I don’t have a PS5

Also I might be here more often because of the Reddit blackout

#ratchet and clank #war for Cybertron #Bulletstorm #gaming #ps3

[zealoussy]

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SPACE - EMILY R. AUSTIN REVIEW

Title : Interesting Facts About Space

Author : Emily R. Austin

Genre : Contemporary, Literary Fiction, Queer Lit

Released : 2024

Enid's daily life can't be separated from these two things: space and true crime podcasts. From mars to black holes, she always has interesting space trivia at the top of her mind. She often finds herself in circumstances where she and other people are at odds, and the murder stories podcast is one reason she can manage getting by. She also goes on a lot of dates with women from dating apps. One day she receives a phone call from a stranger that resulted in an unexpected sequence thereafter. Although she would rather stay out of other people's business, it appears that misfortune follows in her direction. On top of that she is not only in the middle of rekindling her ties with her family, she also noticed that one of her neighbors has been acting strange recently. With so many things happening in her life, things are getting worse when she feels like she’s slowly losing control.

Set in modern day where there’s a certain stereotype about women who listen to true crime podcasts, I was dreading that this book will turn to a path I don’t particularly enjoy. Because my past experience with modern internet phenomena used in a book is not so great. Having finished the book, I think I can trust Emily Austin to handle that in a careful manner. As per Emily Austin style, the premise of the story tends to be simple yet the actualization is rather grim and gloomy. That’s why before starting this book, it’s best to check the trigger warnings first then tread carefully.

This book made me realize that it's impossible to make everyone understand me. It doesn’t matter how much or how little I explain about what’s going on inside myself to people; some people won't be satisfied by my explanation. It stings, but that’s just how the world works. Like Enid, who exhibits symptoms of autism throughout her life, she can’t speak her mind without portraying it in a way that other people can accept. People’s reactions to her authentic self are often furrowed eyebrows and awkward smiles. To avoid over-explaining herself that will just make the situation worse, she develops a way to camouflage. There’s this persisting feeling that the way that she is unfit for the world.

“I worry that I am a shell for something bad. That deep down, in the spot where most people keep their souls, I keep a weird little bug.”

This narrative is a constant thing that exists in her head. Because we exist in her head, we are provided with her train of thought which explains why Enid behaves the way she does. But even after mastering the art of blending in with society, she is still misunderstood by people around her.

Enid is a complex character who displays a mix of traits, trauma, and coping skills she acquired after negative past experience. She’s written to be so unbelievably real, as if Austin finds Enid’s diary on a random Tuesday, then makes it a novel.

What I’m trying to say is, the characterization of Enid is so intricately refined. From the way she talks to herself, how she presents herself in front of other people and why she does it, the slow walk to self-awareness, to how she finally finds herself, all of that feels so psychologically intimate?? Maybe because I ‘m very familiar with the themes this book brought up, that’s why I’m totally absorbed in the story. I guess because of this reason too, this book will hit harder for some than others.

The plot itself isn’t some grand twisty storyline or anything, but it integrates well with what the characters are dealing with. To me the pace is well-timed, not wonky at all. The dynamics between the characters are okay, and the humor is without a doubt, well delivered. Enid is so neurotic, her mind is a mess to the point that her absurd thoughts sound so hilarious to me like she’s so me fr. Meanwhile the mystery aspect itself is not what you expect. I don’t want to spoil it, just know that it left me with emotional damage which I should be compensated for.

I wish I could articulate myself better because some passages in this book made me feel like screaming crying throwing up munching the wall, you know what I mean?? The nuance in the daughter-mother relationship, half sisters and abandoned kid, relate that to Enid’s relationship with people, it’s just so good. I love this book a lot. It’s a great book. I highly recommend this to everyone.

My only complaint is, Emily Austin’s characters need better names.

Last, I hope she keeps getting bright colorful covers for her novels, I think it’s funny.

FAVORITE QUOTES

“But there are some fears that are rational. It’s reasonable to be afraid of murder, or to feel troubled about existing as a speck on a space rock floating in colossal, silent darkness. Those are rational fears. They’re both fears that can’t really be faced. How am I supposed to cope with fears like that? I thought the only option was to be delusional. I thought everyone coped by imagining reality isn’t what it is—by ignoring the threat of murder, or by forgetting we’re in space—or by doing what I do. By repeatedly exposing yourself until the threats feel familiar, the shock wears off, and you’ve conditioned yourself to find what scares you pacifying.”

“It’s actually sort of soothing to think of how massive the universe is, and how I could be snuffed out at any minute. I guess I like tricking my brain into disarming things.”

#adablabbooks #book review #bookblr #books #literature #emily austin #interesting facts about space #IFAS

[ravenadottir]

I’m sure you’ve answered this before but I can’t find it so I’m sorry for the repeat!!! Which of the S2 girls do you think are actually friends in/out of the villa? It seems like (with the exception of Lottie/Hannah) they all only like MC but we don’t really get a glimpse at the strong friendships between them.

which of the girls stayed friends after the show was over?

i'm not even sure if i answered this before but i think it was a passing quote somewhere. anyway lol, let's see:

hope x mc. i have no doubt hope wanted to keep in touch and they possibly become really good friends on the outside (out of noah's route of course. hope wouldn't be able to take it if mc and noah got together, at least not for a while). she even says mc is her closest friend in the villa, especially if the heart score is high with her, so i think hope is reaching out for sure! she’s a wonderful friend and wouldn’t waste time on the outside. i can picture them having a slow friday night as they talk about their week with some cocktails and snacks. also, hope is the kind of person to bring gifts all the time (just a headcanon) so she’s always buying mc something, even if it’s a little token from a different city, she’s bringing it.

marisol x priya. they're all over the place, partying, blowing off steam, shit talking lottie (as they should), and i love to picture them on trips together, flirting with people, winging each other in the night. i'll even go further and say priya realizes she has some interest in mc and marisol is the one to help her figure things out. they talk about boys and girls and i think that's neat. (it might be canon since they talk about it briefly during casa amor).

blake x shannon. they came in together and appreciated each other, one because they both had game, two because of their strategy, three because they were both dumped and felt it rough. i reckon when shannon leaves, blake is waiting for her to give her a hug. blake might've been a bit cunty to mc but that doesn't mean she wouldn't be a good friend for someone she likes/respects.

chelsea x mc. um, there's no doubt in my mind that if mc wants it chelsea will be there like a cuddly koala, ready to listen, to party, to brew a tea and hear her venting (and yes, some gin too). she's the closest friend to mc and i reckon she's anxious to continue that friendship on the outside. it's a headcanon of mine that they move in together and become roommates during the quarantine if they're single. chelsea must be a right laugh when putting together a tinder profile so i believe it would be fun.

hannah x jo. hear me out! they understand each other. once they're out of the villa, and lottie is not exactly the person hannah thought she was, jo is the person that comes through. they're more similar than the shallow impressions show. to start, the insecurity, fear of daring, putting on a brave face instead of showing vulnerability... jo and hannah would be a good pair on the outside. hannah trying to show jo some poetry, jo trying to get hannah to hop on a bike. i think it would be hilarious if it happened.

elisa x hope. again, hear me out. i believe elisa was teasing hope because of the whole situation. many times people don’t get along under certain circumstances and then afterwards become friends. i think that’s exactly what happens with them. they even talk about the villa and elisa is embarrassed by the way she called hope “teacher”, but they laugh it off. they both like clothes, makeup, shoes, expensive and excellent taste in things, that’s where it starts. there’s also cultural similarities happening there, and sharing experiences is definitely a thing they do all the time. i just like picturing them cheering with champagne or martinis on a friday night after hope is off work.

hope x marisol. yep, i think they would find each other at some point, enough to realize they didn’t have much time together in the villa because there was so much drama happening. but remember that if not mc offering the hot chocolate, it’s marisol who comes through and comforts hope. i do think they like each other but never had the proper time to sit down and talk because lottie was always in the middle. once that’s not an issue i think they get along really well.

BONUS:

a group chat with mc, chelsea, hope, marisol, priya and elisa, where they constantly talk about what’s happening, trash talking, exchanging memes and screenshots of their convos with people. all of them go out together, chelsea and hope might even say “so,we’re the only boring straights here, huh?” to which the girls laugh while winking at some hot girl from across the floor. that might be my favorite group of girls on the outside, ever.

lottie. so... yes, she might have a few video projects with elisa and all, but i don’t think they become friends, not really. she might have to do some soul searching after she realizes the girls don’t really call or check up on her. they like the pics, the videos, they leave one or two comments but no one really pulls through with friendship because they might not care enough to do it. that’s just my headcanon. and knowing lottie the way i do (and some irl people, *clears throat* my mom) she might play the victim and say nobody wants to be her friend because she’s always too honest, completely disreguarding the fact that she was always looking out for herself and nobody else, using girl code as an excuse to do it so. i don’t think any of the girls really care for lottie once the show is over.

#litg #litg blake #litg chelsea #litg elisa #litg hannah #litg hope #litg jo #litg lottie #litg marisol #litg priya #litg shannon #litg s2 #litg season 2 #love island the game season 2 #love island the game #queue #friendship #post-villa #villa girls