#where does the fake version of me end and the real me begin?

[dope-hat]

love it when i’m insecure so i portray a persona and everyone thinks i’m something or someone i’m not because i’m good at acting and then somebody gets to know the Real Me and they’re confused and disappointed and i’m faced with the fact that i am actually so deeply flawed and insane. love that!

#someone pls tell me how to stop acting bc idk who i even am anymore #where does the fake version of me end and the real me begin? #like no i’m not confident and i get so scared of intimacy even though i act like i love it #because i have a very good understanding of what people want and i just want to be desirable and wanted #but then when someone actually wants me i freeze up and it’s so stupid but this is who i am #i’m a scared shy little fucking loser take it or leave it #(maybe they’re right about me being a manipulator) #i just really hate myself and i need so badly to be a different person than who i really am because i fucking hate him #bitchin an complainin ⛧ #shut up i’m talking ⛧ #bpd ⛧

[noneorother]

By far the dumbest movie reference no one caught in Good Omens is : The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse

I'm working on a theory that requires many hours of movie watching, so here we are. Many people have already mentioned that the nazi zombies/Furfur is a The League of Gentlemen comedy troupe shoutout. But I'm taking it one step crazier. Remember the opening scene from the 1941 minisode of S2E4, the one with the london bombing and the Angel statue in the bottom right corner ?

Haha sorry my bad. That's the climax intro scene of the movie The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse. Here's the opening scene of the 1941 minisode:

You can excuse the confusion after seeing both, with how they look pretty much identical (yes this is giving me The Tales of Hoffmann PTSD, thanks for asking) And it's not very coincidental when you know who helped write the minisode.

You know, just the fourth member of The League of Gentlemen and writer of the movie LG Apocalypse. So shall we tease out all the (I'm warning you) EXTREMELY dumb quotes and story beats this terrible movie has lent to the 1941 episode? There are quite a few. But there's also a potential story arc that isn't so dumb... (TW offensive comedy, including mild gore)

In order to understand this you probably have to know a bit of background on British show The League of Gentlemen. "[A] surreal British comedy horror sitcom... follows the lives of bizarre characters, most of whom are played by three of the show's four writers – Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Reece Shearsmith – who, along with Jeremy Dyson, formed the League of Gentlemen comedy troupe in 1995." You don't need to know all of the characters or backstory of the show, just that it's a fictional town with many fictional characters played by the same three writers (and an invisible fourth).

(Also known as all these people right here) Want to know who they plays a stand-in for Jeremy Dyson in LG Apocalypse and gets murdered first with black marker on his face?

Say hello, baby Sheen!

So we've seen the bombing scene, what about the car driving through fire and Aziraphale's suggestive line at the beginning?

Yup.

Do the characters make a deal with a Reece Shearsmith character to enter the real world through a church?

HECK YEAH. Bonus points for the green background.

A gag about fake lips with Steve? Sure.

Steve Pemberton seen here as a nazi zombie, and also here playing "Herr Lipp" (also known in the actual script as "the worst pun in the world" in the movie. Groan). What about Mark Gatiss Stealing binoculars from Steve to spy on two important characters? But of course.

Surely not the arm falling off too?

Oh dang. It's a big plot point in LG Apocalypse you say? Then, in the climax, does someone in dark sunglasses who doesn't know how a rifle works fire it at a main character, and the other character who he misses says fuck? Now you're pulling off my arm..

Well I'll be damned. The only difference here being Steve's head exploding, naturally.

I'll admit, I have trouble seeing where a giant 3 headed chimera beast that destroys a bunch of characters fits in at the end of the 1941 miniode, but I don't think 1941 is meant to be a stand in for the whole movie, because at that point in the movie the role of the main characters shifts to become the real versions of Shearsmith and Gatiss, not the characters. But even though the end of the movie doesn't track with 1941, I think the moral at the end is interesting : "In the church, Lipp says he will kill Gatiss. The other characters try to dissuade him, saying that once all the writers are dead, Royston Vasey will cease to exist and they will die. Lipp claims that they will in fact be better off, because as long as they're controlled by someone else they have no free will and can never change for the better. Tipps tells Lipp that because he saved the day and can therefore change, Lipp need not kill Gatiss. He persuades Lipp to hand him the gun, only for Tipps to accidentally fire it and kill Gatiss.

With all the writers now apparently dead, the residents of Royston Vasey prepare for the worst. Instead, everything calms down and The Apocalypse is averted. The characters realise they now have free will. Herr Lipp adopts some orphaned children, the vet, Mr Chinnery, finds a rabbit and is able to take care of it without killing it, and Bernice and Pauline become romantically involved. Tipps leaves the church, waving goodbye to Edward, Tubbs and Papa Lazarou. It appears that Royston Vasey can continue to exist independently of its dead creators." This struggle for free will outside of the plan originally set out by their creators, especially in the context of said creators not really caring about them anymore, really starts sending red flags up for me. Crowley's existential crisis at the beginning of S2E1 seems to be mulling over similar themes. The lack of any God narrator as in season 1 might be a change in storytelling technique, but might also point the the creator being absent, or having moved on without really letting her original creation know it gets to exist on it's own now. Funnily enough, this is the second movie with shot for shot quotes throughout, that places a specific set of characters at the center of their own deeper plot that has a meta level to the storytelling. I'm starting to think there's a pattern here...

_______________________________________ Here's my series on the Tales of Hoffmann, another movie hidden within the series.

#good omens meta #good omens 2 #good omens season two #art director talks good omens #go season 2 #go meta #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 #go2

[good-beanswrites]

I talked about my Milgram actors theory earlier, but @amugoffandoms reminded me I also have a little emotional support au version of the idea I’ve been meaning to chat about! It's actually not a typical actors au -- the canon events still happen, but are staged by the in-universe Milgram organization.

(Edit, now with a fic!)

Just like in canon, the organization has a mysterious/supernatural ability to identify and track down ten specific people at their breaking point. In this au, though, it's ten people who could have committed crimes soon. They discreetly reach out to these individuals, requesting for them to be actors in their experiment. They say there will be someone playing a prison guard, and explain the premise. With a bit of coaxing or bribing for a few, they all accept.

Milgram ensures these newfound “prisoners” don’t need to change many details about their lives – the less lies to keep track of, the easier it would be for these ordinary people to pull off such an extensive con. 

Some of them are exactly as they were right before their murders, such as Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, and Kotoko. Haruka, his sister, and Amane did go through traumatic abuse, but it was Milgram that pulled them out of the situation before they resorted to murder. Mikoto is/has been aware of his alters for a while at this point.

Some of the others are taken from their lives after things that could have ended fatally turned out alright: Shidou’s family got into an accident but all recovered; Milgram picked up on his private realization that he would have done anything to save them, were the damage worse. Mahiru and Kazui’s partners attempted/considered suicide, but did not succeed. In Mahiru’s case, they reached a friendship despite breaking up. I still don’t know enough about Kazui’s wife, but I like to think they’re pretty separate now. 

The ten prisoners weren’t allowed to meet beforehand, but they individually collaborated with the Milgram team to write the lyrics for their t1 songs and film their videos. I'll mention more about the other actors later, but the filming process is a lot of fun. Though the topics confront them with some unsavory thoughts about themselves, it's a good time singing and acting and getting the giggles on set and everything.

Milgram pulls Es from wherever they were for whatever reason, wipes their memory, and drops them into the prison. The prisoners are unaware that Es didn't come willingly, as they all did.

Once the experiment begins, everyone’s interactions that we’ve seen to this point are genuine. The prisoners get to know each other, while they come to terms with the fact that themselves and these others all had murderous potential. Their personalities, behaviors, and stories from their lives are all true. In the interrogations, they speak honestly to Es about their values and choices. The only faked things are the actual references to the murders, and the “invisible force” that they pretend to hit when acting in violence. Mikoto is instructed to use a bit of violence during his interrogation, though Kotoko sneaking in wasn’t scripted – she genuinely had her concerns about his character and acted accordingly. 

While Es sleeps after T1, the prisoners are treated the same regardless of verdict. They provide the team with their genuine thoughts about one another to decide what the staged incidents should be. Kotoko doesn’t actually hate the guilty prisoners, but she recognizes she would’ve wanted to take justice into her own hands in a real situation. Amane is very upset but Es' verdict, but the team helps her dramatize her transformation a bit. Haruka and Muu genuinely get that close. Yuno does wish to be left alone.

They film their second trial videos, now allowed to be around the other prisoners as they do so. They also invite people in their life to come in and play their victims. Yes, it’s just as awkward as it sounds. This is where the prisoners do their real reflection – they think about Es’ verdict for them and what they could have been capable of. There’s a bit of relief from both parties knowing that things will turn out alright now that Milgram intervened (ironic, I know, but this is my fix-it hehe). Shidou’s kids are excited to be filmed, not really understanding the context. Haruka once again works with an actor playing his younger self, a bit put off by how similar they look and the memories he bring back. Haruka’s mother, Rei, and Amane’s cult members (if they appear) are some of the only characters played by strangers, though they do look strikingly similar to the real people. Fuuta’s victim is also played by a stranger. Things are still tense with Hinako, but she agrees to appear. 

The team helps the prisoners fake injuries with lots bandages and slings. Then they wake Es. The same is repeated for T2/T3.

Now, I’ve played out a few different paths depending on my angst tolerance at the moment – sometimes Es goes through with the third trial verdicts and is forced to watch the executions (not realizing they're cleverly staged). Sometimes they refuse, finding a way to stop the whole experiment. Sometimes the prisoners realize that Es has been an unwilling participant, and bring the experiment to a stop themselves. Sometimes someone jams a wrench in the mv machine and try to blow it up in order for everything to end before final verdicts.

Because of limited details, the ending can play out however one wants. But my go-to is that Es wake up sometime afterwards in a clean facility filled with scientists. They’re brought to an interrogation room – this time on the other side of the questioning. They’re asked about their motivations, actions, emotions, choices, verdicts (or the reason they rebelled at the very end). A few doors down, the prisoners are being asked similar questions of self-reflection and morality. 

Es demands to know what’s going on, while the team tries to assure them that the prisoners are all fine. Es doesn’t buy this, though. They know what kind of mind games the experiment has tried to pull, and can’t tell what’s truth or lie anymore. Things get heated as they demand to see the prisoners. Meanwhile, the prisoners are getting worked up asking about Es. If they haven't already, this is when they learn that Es was an actual prisoner there the whole time. The last time they were together the situation was very intense, and they’re all incredibly worried about them. 

In the end, they manage to break out of their rooms and reunite in the middle of the facility, and Es is shocked. All ten are alive and well, even those they may have seen die. No eyes or limbs are missing. They’re all laughing and getting along, no matter what kinds of fights they got into between trials. Even more shocking is when the victims join them later – also all alive and happy. 

The ending has a bit of unavoidable angst since Es would be pretty fucked up by the whole experiment. They’d struggle with trust issues and knowing what’s reality. However, it’s still an overwhelmingly happy ending. They get to befriend the prisoners and their families outside of the painful context they met in. Regretting their ignorance of the situation, the prisoners decide to make up for lost time and spend a lot of positive, quality time with Es. The kids are finally allowed to play, and the they finally let the adults act a bit protective over them. This is when the found family completely kicks in lol. Es gets to sleep easy knowing they are all alive and happy, they receive all their memories again, and they get to return home to their own family.

I added it to a reblog but editing with @/qrevo's tags because this is what I was looking for but couldn't quite pin down to make it healing for Es too:

#milgram #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #es #its not 'the prisoners leave milgram and get therapy' its 'milgram itself is the therapy for the prisoners' #i know the typical actors au would be more of a fix-it but i liked still having a small taste of the canon drama and interactions #its also nice to relate to es' relief -- after ive gone through the angst of canon its nice to imagine everything is okay #so in the au they also go through the angst of canon only to be relieved finding out it was fake and everyone is okay #it also keeps the prisoners lives/personalities the same! #as fun as it is to see actors aus give them whole new personalities offscreen im incredibly attached to these characters and this let me #keep them exactly the same lmao #on days i need the most fluff i picture the prisoners all together filming the t2 mvs -- getting giggly and silly on set #making bloopers and cheering each other on and interacting happily with their 'victims' #when i want intense but good emotions i love thinking of that reunion scene. es exclaiming that fuutas eye is okay and theyre all alright #lots of hugs and tears #(the only details i cant quite work out is how jackalope can talk in this fairly-realistic setting asdfd #that and the undercover mv wouldnt make any sense because es wouldnt have filmed it but ah well) #anyway if anyone has any thoughts or anything lmk! ive been really vibin with this au #analysis/thoughts #lights camera sing your sins

[stalltherain]

Manifest finale spoilers. I'm about to rant.

What the f-ck was that ending?

It might as well have all been a dream. Other than Mick meeting Zeke, a few people disappearing, and Saanvi's cancer treatment coming out soon enough to treat Cal, nothing is different than if the show had never happened.

I'd have preferred the characters find happiness in their shitty world. Or heck, even all of them dying in their shitty world to sacrifice themselves for people they love (that would have required a different setup from the beginning of s4 so that we saw the people that the passengers loved).

This ending reminds me of the dilemma in scifi where a character has to chose to live in a happy fake world or a tough & gritty real world. The show writers chose the happy fake. I'd have preferred to see the real world.

I was optimistic for this season and really had hope this show was going to be better than previous shows about explaining the mystery. Of all the theories of how it would go, resetting back to the plane not crashing was the most boring one & what I really hoped wouldn't happen. I guess it's a satisfying-ish ending if you had low expectations.

I just thought we'd actually get some answers, and was also disappointed by all but one of the character's endings. Since the show chose to ignore the mystery and focus on character stories, I'm going to address my issues with those.

TJ lost Olive, but immediately seems to forget her because another cute girl shows up.

Mick ends her relationship with Jared, because he wants kids and she doesn't, but how did that never come up for them in conversation before. Took my opinion of both of them down a bit. Then, 5 seconds after Jared got dumped by the woman he wanted to marry, he's already flirting with another woman. Took my opinion of Jarod about as low as it can get. Shame because I had actually liked him.

The Cal, Olive, and Grace we knew are all gone. Never going to even exist. They're basically fake versions of themselves now. Grace is reset back to season 1, which means she's the annoying version I wanted Ben to dump. Also, how is Ben going to explain that he had sex with someone on the plane? Season 1 Grace would not be open to the whole "hey, we went to another world or whatever" story. She didn't believe anything Ben said about it until she saw it affecting Cal. There's no way she believes his story if she hears it led to him sleeping with someone else. Unless Ben plans to lie to his wife, she's leaving him soon. If he does keep it a secret that he slept with Cal's doctor, that just means she'll leave a little later. Keeping that secret will destroy their relationship. It was a really terrible writing choice to have Ben and Saanvi hook up and then just go back to their previous partners like nothing changed. I think they're great together, but I'd have preferred nothing happen if that was how it ended.

The one thing I really wanted was for Saanvi to realize that she deserves better than the person who kept rejecting her over and over, but nope. Zero growth. I felt so bad for her and feel like from what we know of Alex, she'll go right back to her family soon. Or maybe Saanvi will get enough self esteem to get angry at how Alex treated her (both by not taking the flight and by how she repeatedly rejected her in the real world).

Vance is back to being kind of a jerk who knows none of them. I suppose I'm glad he has his family back, but his character development was meaningless. I'd rather have seem him get his family back in the real world.

The only ending that didn't suck was Mick found Zeke based on what he told her in the real world. I personally wasn't attached to Mick with either guy, so I wasn't expecting her ending to be the most satisfying. At least one story we watched ended up having meaning.

After so many shows have ended disappointingly, I just really wanted one to stick the landing. (pun not intended, but I'm keeping it) This ending was a major (pun also not intended, but I'm also keeping it) bummer.

I don't know how go wrap this up, so I'm just going to drop this. In five years or less, Ben and Grace are definitely split. So are Saanvi and Alex. Hey, maybe Benvi will get back together then. Lol.

#manifest netflix #ben x saanvi #benvi #manifest nbc #rant #manifest tv #manifest finale

[aemiron-main]

Henry’s In A Tank: Stranger Things vs The Evil Within (2017)

So, I talked in this post and this post about Elder Brains, and today, I want to talk about The Evil Within, Ruvik, and the STEM system.

Long story short, I think that Henry is in another NINA tank somewhere, since Edward Creel is Vecna, and we don’t know where Henry is, and since Henry seems weirdly present during NINA.

Henward vs Ruben vs Ruvik and The Creels vs The Victorianos

I’m going to talk about Ruben/Ruvik in general in a little bit, but first, let’s just take a look at the initial, most obvious parallels.

Ruben/Ruvik as an adult vs Vecna/vs Burnt Henward:

Ruben as a child vs Henward as a child:

And if you still don’t believe me that this parallel is intentional, look at this official concept art for Vecna:

That’s definitely inspired by Ruvik. Ruvik even does the same damn hand thing that Henward and El do:

Now, let’s get into Ruvik’s backstory, and then get into the story of the rest of the game and how it ties to ST, and why I think Henry’s in a NINA tank.

So, as a child, Ruvik was isolated and “weird,” but very close to his sister, and also a child prodigy. He came from the wealthy Victoriano family, with a religious father (much like Victor), and a mother that he wasn’t close to. Ruben was doing science experiments as a child, and when he was still a child he met a doctor, Dr Jimenez, who assured Ruben that he also did similar science experiments, and that it didn’t make Ruben a monster. Even just initially here, this is already extremely similar to Henry having already known Brenner (talking about “the very doctor I had hoped to escape,” recognizing Brenner immediately by his face after waking up in the lab), and we also have the “monster,” imagery that is constant with El, Brenner, and Henward.

Then, one day, Ruben and his sister were playing in a barn when some disgruntled townsfolk lit the barn on fire. His sister died saving him, and Ruben was left burnt and disfigured, much like Henward in the yellow UD.

Although Ruben survived the fire, Ruben’s father faked Ruben’s death, and led Ruben’s mother to believe that Ruben died in the fire when in reality, he was imprisoned in the basement, and then later at Beacon Mental Hospital. This is SO similar to what happened with Henry- his death was faked (and Virginia likely involved), and then Victor was led to believe that Henry was dead when in reality, he was at HNL, with the mother vs father thing swapped for Henry vs Ruben.

Ruben, much like Henward is frequently associated with spiders. During the game, the player sees a fucked up fleshflayer-esque spider version of Ruvik’s sister. It’s a common motif for him, just like it is for Henward.

When the game begins, the player plays as Sebastian Castellanos, years after the Victoriano fire/Ruvik’s disfigurement (which we’ll come back to later in the STEM system section) but you don’t need to know much about him for this analysis, just that he’s the player character.

We end up at Beacon Mental Hospital, which takes us to the next section of this analysis.

Beacon Mental Hospital vs HNL and Pennhurst

So, Pennhurst and Beacon Mental Hospital look EXTREMELY similar:

At the beginning of the game, the player/Sebastian ends up at Beacon Mental Hospital, pursuing Ruvik. As the game progresses, we learn that the characters aren’t in the real Beacon Mental Hospital at all anymore- instead, they’re part of the STEM system/the version of Beacon Mental Hospital that exists in Ruvik’s mindscape/memories, as Ruvik is part of the STEM system, and the player character is hooked up to a STEM system tank, which we'll get into later, linking their mind to Ruvik's.

The whole "not in the real Beacon Mental Hospital" thing reminds me of the fact that the area of the lab that we see during NINA is COMPLETELY different from the lab we’ve seen in other seasons, and we’ve never seen the NINA area outside of NINA, and we have two different rainbow rooms, too, and the lab and Pennhurst are paralleled all the time, both being likened to prisons, both having orderlies in white uniforms, both experimenting on their patients, etc etc.

The STEM System vs NINA vs Elder Brain Tanks

So, the STEM system is basically multiplayer NINA (although, as is the point of this analysis, I think that NINA is also multiplayer).

Now, going back to the Victoriano fire and Ruben’s disfigurement and the death of his sister and Ruben’s father faking Ruben’s death. Prior to the player character entering Beacon Mental Hospital, Ruben escaped the basement, killed his parents, and became “Ruvik,” and went to work at Beacon Mental Hospital with Dr Jimenez.

Dr Jimenez would betray Ruben, however, and teamed up with the company, MOBIUS, to have Ruben captured, restrained, and forced to become a test subject, just like Brenner kidnapping Henward forcing Henward to be a test subject at HNL.

Ruvik was the first test subject for the STEM system project, and he was hooked up to multiple machines, and his body was experimented on until there was nothing left of him except for a brain, which became part of the STEM system. Ruvik, although just a brain in the real world, had a physical form in his own mindscape, and spent decades trying to find a way to escape his imprisonment. (again, VERY similar to 001/Henward trying to find a way out of the lab.)

Before Ruvik was killed/left as just a brain, though, MOBIUS attempted to sync his brain with Leslie’s- Leslie was a quiet boy, very similar to Ruben, and Leslie reminds me a lot of both Will and El, and was also a test subject at Beacon Mental Hospital.

Ruvik and Leslie’s brains were synced in the STEM system because they had shared trauma- both had lost their families in a violent manner.

I’m staring DIRECTLY at Murray talking about “shared trauma” in ST. Murray even ties "shared trauma" to "your dad," just like the shared Brenner trauma between El and Henward.

So, I’m also staring DIRECTLY at Henward and El during NINA and syncing their brains, and the shared trauma of Brenner/growing up in the lab, especially with all the talk of “you’re like me/we’re the same/papa hurt you," and how they have shared trauma and shared memories.

Unfortunately, Leslie’s brain was unstable (much like NINA glitching for EL), and that’s what resulted in Ruben being killed/stripped down to his brain, as Ruben wanted to proceed with the use of Leslie, but MOBIUS did not.

Decades later, Ruvik somehow managed to manifest himself in the real world briefly, and committed a massacre at the real-life Beacon Mental Hospital (which is why Sebastian was at the hospital in the first place, investigating the murders). Ruvik was searching for Leslie when he committed the massacre. It reminds me a lot of a.) Henward seemingly committing the massacre to try and get El out of the lab and b.) Vecna searching for Will.

Now, let’s look at the STEM system vs NINA vs Elder Brain tanks:

And when we jump to DND and look at Elder Brain tanks, how do those work? What do they do? Well, an Elder Brain (which resides in an Elder Brain Tank) is a hivemind- it’s what controls Mindflayers. And it’s also known as a living library, which has me staring DIRECTLY at the library in ST. Elder Brain tanks are typically kept in caves beneath cities, much like the NINA bunker, but I’m also looking at the basement of the library in ST as some sort of connection, especially since the library basement specifically was brought to our attention & tied to the Creels when Robin and Nancy went down to the basement to look for newspaper information about Victor & the Creel murders.

And interestingly enough, the fleshflayer from S3 also resembles the STEM system- which makes sense, since the fleshflayer is basically a hivemind/combined minds, just like the STEM system.

Also, the STEM tanks are literal bathtubs- bathtubs that are eerily similar to the Creel tub, and need I remind you that the sensory deprivation tanks in the lab are referred to as “the bath” by Brenner and El? And the fact that the S1 episode with the NINA-shaped, round pool in the school gym that El uses as a sensory deprivation tank is called “the bathtub”?

Like, it's the SAME sort of clawfoot tub.

Mirror Imagery

So, in order to save the game in The Evil Within, you have to find a mirror, which takes to to the safe zone of Beacon Mental Hospital. Mirror imagery is constant in this game, and I'm staring DIRECTLY at Henward talking about how he held a mirror up to his family & the mirror in the rainbow room during NINA.

Music

If you’re STILL not convinced that these parallels are intentional, I want to draw your attention to a certain song that plays in Pennhurst:

Clair de Lune. This song is CONSTANT in The Evil Within (which, need I remind you, takes place in an asylum JUST like Pennhurst), it’s the main song for the game, and is always associated with mirrors (which are extremely associated with Henward in ST), and specifically, are associated with the “safe zones” in the game, which, again, are accessed via mirrors, and the whole “music is safe/saves you” thing is VERY ST4. Clair de Lune is not just a song that happens to play once in the background of The Evil Within- instead, it’s THE song for it, you absolutely cannot miss it.

Dream Imagery

So, every subject that’s connected to the STEM system has some level of subconscious, “dreamlike” influence over it, and throughout the game, the whole experience of the STEM system is described as being like a dream/nightmare, except it's alive and can kill you because you're hooked up to the STEM system. (staring at all of the nightmare imagery with Henward, and Victor's "a nightmare far worse" vs Henward waking up in the lab vs El waking up in NINA, and Victor talking about a "waking, living nightmare" vs NINA basically being a waking, living nightmare)

We also have El talking about a shared “dream circle,” with Terry vs all of the dream imagery with Henry (Dream a Little Dream of Me etc), and the circular shape of the NINA tank. I think El and Henry were both likely present during NINA/connected mentally, like a STEM system, like an Elder Brain tank, and like a dream circle.

El talks about the dream circle "repeating," JUST like the repeating scenes during NINA.

Conclusion

But yeah! Like I’ve talked about before, I won’t be surprised if Henry has been in a NINA tank this whole time, which would explain why he seems so weirdly present during NINA sometimes- because he IS present. Just like how Terry was present in the dream circle and how Ruvik is present in STEM.

#stranger things #henry creel #edward creel #st creel timeline weirdness #st-evil within parallels #st nina project

[nevereverthem]

Imagine after sending Ms. Cuddles away that Bonnie developed insomnia which eventually led to Kai becoming Mr. Cuddles 🥰

TVD :

Given the moment this happens, I couldn't get myself to make her lose sleep and end up in Kai's arms as if they didn't mutually stabbed each other not so long ago. Since I kind of try to stick to how the character was written.... before the merge, he doesn't show much empathetic pretty feelings.

So here's my version, with a little twist.

PS : I intended it to be quite short but got carried away. I ended up talking about numerous things before getting to the point, but I hope you'll still enjoy the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May 10th 1994, prison world.

An eclipse. Kai Parker. Bonnie Bennett.

She was chanting a spell that would bring them back to their world.... It stopped abruptly. She's lost her magic. In fact, she's just put her magic in her beloved Miss Cuddles, sending the teddy bear to the 2010's.

Kai's cry resonated through the cave. He walk-rushed right to Bonnie.

_ Where's the stupid bear ?

_ Oh, it's gone. I guess we're stuck here. Forever.

She holds his gaze, whispering.

_ Sorry.

He inhales loudly, an incredulous laugh escaping his mouth.

_ Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie.... You'll regret this.

His psycho smile's been replaced by a menacing expression.

_ I don't think so.

She seems confident, despite being aware of the fact she's locked herself up with a killer. She couldn't let him out of this prison, in the present, murdering more members of his family.

_ You lost your powers. You've doomed us to be stuck here for damn eternity ! You think you had it bad during four months ? Try eighteen years. Alone. 'Cause, I suppose you don't fancy a truce with the enemy around a nice diner.

_ I'd rather die starved and dehydrated under the burning sun than spend one more day with you around.

He huffs in response.

_ Right.... You'll want me back. Somehow. When you've gone insane from the loneliness. No sounds at all, except from yours. Tired of your own voice, you'd rather punch your face than to hear one more syllable come out of your mouth. When you're on the verge of suicide, with no escape from your own mind.... When all of your being craves the only thing left, human company....

He slides a hand in his pocket, pulling out his pager.

_ Beep me ! 555hikai. I'll come and watch the show.

The last thing Bonnie sees is Kai's sadistic grin growing on his face. Then she turns her back, determined to get as far away from him as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The witch spends several more months in this prison world, going through the routine she had with Damon, now on her own. It seems like Kai didn't bother following her to haunt her days. She's stopped being useful to him after all.

At first she's holding on, hoping Damon got the teddy bear. Her friends will find a way, they'll come and get her out of here. She's counting on them, as they counted on her so many times. She concentrates her thoughts on happy memories with her friends. She counts the days to keep tract of the real time. When supposed-Christmas season comes, she even decorates a tree with garlands and christmas bulbs. Shortly after, she's hit by a wave of angry desperation and burns the tree. Who does she fake happiness for ?

A few more months later, it all becomes unbearable. It's her birthday. She's still in that hellhole. Alone. She's read every book she could find, searched every mystical object. Nothing. No way out. She's been stuck in this place for nearly a year now and she's had enough.

In a last celebration, she finally decides to open the bottle of bourbon Damon and her had made a pact on. After drinking three quarter of the bottle, she walks to the garage, closing the outside door. She starts the car so the carbon monoxide begins filling the room. Then, she slumps down the floor, back against the vehicle.

A camera in hands, she presses the recording button and starts talking.

_ I'm Bonnie Bennett, locked in a time loop in 1994. Elena, Damon, whoever.... Hi. If you find that video, it means you've managed your way in. It means you didnt give up on me....

Tears start gathering in her eyes.

_ I miss you. I miss you so much.... I miss saying hi to strangers, ordering diner in a restaurant, laughing with my friends. Every day with no one to talk to. Going weeks without speaking. The loneliness....

She bumps her head onto the car behind, crying....

_ I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.... I can't.... I promise I tried....

Her sobbing turns into a cough.

_ You know, Kai told me I wouldn't last long. I almost miss him.

She chuckles at her own statement, tears running down her cheeks.

_ You hear that Damon ? I miss that sociopathic murderer. Not that I'd ever forgive his manipulation, the arrow shoot, the chasing, the manhandling.... but I'd settle for a talk. He's the only human left here, wherever he might be. It'd be a hell of a last talk but...

She pauses a second, pondering.

_ I can't let him win. I'm stronger. I know I am.

She immediately stops the video, forcing her body to rise. She stumbles. The gaz has filled her lungs, making her weak. She can't stop coughing, vision blurred. She falls to the floor, desperate to crawl outside....

Suddenly, she hears a door slam open, someone walking in her direction.... Kai !

She makes an effort to look up at him.

He's standing right beside the switch of the garage's door, holding an oxygen mask before his face. He seems.... pained ?

_ You didn't beep me.

Right before she falls into unconsciousness, the door opens, filling the room with fresh air. The last thing she sees is an arm lifting her up the floor and an oxygen mask crashing on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's strange in here. All's kinda blurry, green-ish. She doesn't recognise the place she's in.

Two children appear in front of her, coming in her direction. Before she can realise, they both pass through her body before running away.

She's a ghost. Great ! She exhales in exasperation.

She hears knocking behind her. Turning around, she sees a woman opening a door.

_ Malachai ?

Mala.... Kai ?

Bonnie urges to the room. Nobody can see her anyway. She's faced with an unexpected picture.

A little boy's sitting on his bed, brow furrowed, a sad expression on his face.

_ You hate me !

_ No, no my love, I don't hate you.

That's his mother.

_ I already told you. It's safer that way.

_ I just wanna play with my sister.

_ You can't. We don't want you to harm her.

She's stern but soft at the same time. The boy's pleading.

_ I won't ! Please !

_ Malachai, no.

He starts sobbing, tears threatening to run down his face.

He extends his arms, reaching for a hug. The woman cries in pain. It's only a second, but it's enough to hurt her. The moment he hears her pain, young Kai removes his hands, horrified.

_ Mom ?

_ It's okay.

It's faint, but she smiles at him.

Loud stomps are heard in the stairs, the face of a man appearing in the door frame. His father.

The man doesn't say anything. He comes inside the room, wraps his arms around his wife, and carries her outside.

Just before he leaves, he glares at his son, a warning look on his face. Then, he closes the door, the lock clicks. The boy's alone.

He freezes a moment, holding back his tears.

Bonnie stays there, observing him. She can't recognise the emotionless murderer she knows in that little boy standing here, petrified from his own action.

Her train of thoughts is interrupted by shouting coming from downstairs. Little Kai slowly walks to the door, putting his head on the wood, an attempt at eavesdropping. The witch imitates him.

_ See what he did to you ?

_ He didn't mean to.

_ Of course ! Like he didn't mean to siphon his sister last week !

_ He just wanted to play....

_ We almost lost her ! That power, that thing, it kills people ! It's an abomination !

_ I know !.... But he's still our son.

The boy can't hold back anymore, he breaks down, falling to his knees by the door. A flow of tears escapes his eyes, running down to his neck, staining his shirt.

_ Kai....

Bonnie raises a hand, reaching for his cheek. Her hand disappears the moment she touches his skin, sinking through his body. She can't touch anything. Despite facing the man he became, manipulative and vengeful, she can't help but want to wipe away the tears of his younger self....

All of a sudden, the image of the boy fades. It's replaced by short fragments of discussions, people....

She sees it all pass before her eyes. The family reject, locked in his room countless times. The accidental siphonings. The pain. The addiction. The help he never get, learning by himself. Hurt turning into rage. Emotions buried away. Finally d-day. Merge refused. The snap. The killings. The banishment. Flashes of his months trying to find a way out of the prison world. His desperation. The moments he broke everything around him, punching his reflection in the mirror.... Then, all his attempted suicides. As she had just tried. The thing is, he succeeded. He actually did die. Each time. Coming back to life. Each time. Trying to kill himself for years. She saw all those times, all the suicides. Stabbing himself with a knife, throwing himself off a cliff, painkillers overdose, numerous unknown needle injections, shooting an arrow at himself, cutting his arms open with a kitchen knife, car crash, real guillotine in a museum.... She felt them all. She felt them in her body. Excruciating pain, vengeance desire, hurt, rage, fellings, despair.... Then nothing. Void. Just that feeling. They're going to suffer as much as I did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonnie snaps awake, gasping, jerking in a sitting position. She's panting, trying to catch her own breath.

She looks around. It's the Salvatore house. She's sitting on the couch next to the fireplace. She's actually sitting across someone's lap....

_ Kai !

Eyes wide, she abruptly pushes herself off of him, hands on his chest. Parts of the nightmare she just had make their way through her mind. She freezes, still too stunned to move away. Kai has an arm lazily rested around her waist, a blanket covering them both.

The man hears someone calling his name through his sleep. His eyelids open, watery from a troubled nap. He notices the eyes piercing through his own.

_ Hi ! Awake ?

The witch seems disoriented, wearing a traumatized look on her face. Kai's voice sounds too casual for the position they're in.

_ Oh, yeah, hum.... When I carried you out of the garage and took you here, you started to get all sweaty and cold. The fire and the blanket didn't help. So I figured.... the whole 'body heat' thing.... Well.

Bonnie doesn't respond. She doesn't move either. Kai waves a hand before her face. She doesn't even flinch. Given her lack of responsiveness, the man extends a leg in an attempt at walking away.

She stops him. A hand on his shoulder.

_ That was yours, right ?

The man gives her a confused look.

_ What ?

_ The nightmare... It was yours.

Now, that's his mouth whose's shut.

_ Kai ? Is this all true ? Or did you manage to feed me false visions ?

His expression's petrified, angry-sad-ish ?

_ How ? You don't have your magic back. I would have felt it. How did you-

_ I take that as a yes.

She doesn't know how it happened, how it's even possible. She must have felt him in her sleep and got into his head. She's not supposed to have her magic back. She's doesn't. But she somehow was able to get through him. All of him.

It surely doesn't feel like he's down to have that conversation. And she clearly needs time to process all she's just witnessed in her sleep. But there's one thing bugging her now. It just popped in her head. She was able to get inside his mind because she's here, alive, thanks to him....

_ How did you know I was in the garage ?

The question is enough to get the man out of his thoughts. He's expression's back to 'normal'.

_ I was watching over you.

_ You were... how ? There's nothing here you can get magic from.

A guilty smile grows on his face.

_ Hiding in a house doesn't require a cloaking spell.

The witch's dumbfounded, her mouth opening in an 'o'. She's also kind of impressed by his discreteness, and a tiny bit scared.

_ Stalker much ?

He fake-gasps, being falsy offended.

_ That stalker just saved your life !

_ Why ? You couldn't just 'enjoy the show' ?

Her quoting him after all these months sort of gives him an ego boost.

_ First, you didn't beep me, meaning you didn't know I was there, so that's no fun. Secondly, dying on your birthday ? Even I know it's pathetic. And exhaust poisoning.... Seriously ?

_ You tried it too. I saw it.

How does she.... Right, 'the nightmare'.

_ For the record, it wasn't on my first attempt.

They suddenly both fall silent. His smile fades, her expression darkens. Even though they're discussing the situation, the touchy subject of suicide affects them both too much to keep arguing.

Also, Kai doesn't know how much she saw and he's certainly not letting himself be vulnerable by slipping out information she doesn't already have.

Despite being physically close at this moment and having an oddly casual conversation with him, Bonnie is far from feeling safe. She wraps her arms around herself.

_ Are you here to kill me ?

Kai chuckles, brows furrowed, mocking her.

_ After I stopped you from doing it yourself ? That would be so evil !.... I like the way you think.

His amused grin reappear on his face. The familiarity of his expression nears reassurance. He adds.

_ I'm not here to kill you. I weirdly got used to 'not harming you'.

She huffs in response, eyeing him incredulously.

_ That's progress.

He can look as sincere as he wants, the witch isn't fooled by his words.

_ You wanted to stay close in case I ever happen to find a way out, am I right ?

_ Guilty ! But I got myself useful. I stopped you from.... You know.

Here we go again... She shakes her head, pushing the thought away.

_ Why ? We have no way out. I'm not getting my magic back.

He shrugs, terrifyingly soft in his words.

_ I still want the company.

_ The company ?

Now she's mad.

_ You shot me with and arrow !

_ You killed me with a pickaxe.

_ You murdered your siblings !

_ You....

He stops. He doesn't feel any remorse, he believes they deserved it. But he can't deny what he's done, nor can he form any excuse she would accept.

_ You know you wouldn't have popped out again like me, right ?

Change of subject ? She wants to argue and force him to explain himself, somehow. That's when she remembers the dream, the memories.... She gives in, answering the question.

_ That was the whole point....

_ Don't do that again. Please.

_ You're concerned about me now ?

He exhales, a stupid look back on his face.

_ Look, I was kinda hoping you would get up and walk out by yourself. You were about to, but then you tripped and that was it.... I couldn't let you die. I mean, if I can't get out of here, I'd rather not lose my main entertainment.

She rolls her eyes at the ceiling. That sounds more like him.

After so much unusual conversation, the witch's mouth feels dry, eyes tired, a crushing headache making its appearance. She closes her eyes, hand on her forehead. Kai notices her discomfort.

_ Hangover ?

_ Ya think ?

He nods in understanding.

_ You drank more than half the bottle of bourbon. By the way, what's their thing with bourbon ? That's, ugh !

He wears a disgusted expression, making a giggle escape from the witch's lips.

_ At least, that knocked me out. I haven't had a good night's sleep for ages.

_ I know.

His statement came out a bit too fast. He's nowhere near shy of a person but the lack of restraint in his talk leaves him with an apologetic look.

_ Did you watch me sleep ?

The accusing tone in her voice is flagrant.

_ Oh, no. Please !.... Okay once ! I was intrigued.

He is unbelievable. She's not surprised, but she'd hopped to have a little intimacy. She doesn't want to think about what else he might have seen. She's not going to ask. Ever.

She blinks a couple of times, trying to block any invasive thought about a certain man spying on a naked Bennett witch....

_ Miss Cuddles.

_ What ?

_ I've had trouble sleeping since I don't have her with me....

_ Whose fault is that ?

He's the one accusing this time.

_ I had my reasons.

Silence. He doesn't bother. The witch's mouth opens wide, letting out a loud yawn.

_ Tired ?

She only nods, slowly shifting towards the man, putting her head back on his chest.

Kai flinches at her movements.

_ What are you doing ?

_ Getting back to sleep.

_ On me ?

_ Yep.

Direct answer, as if there was no problem with that. The man frowns in confusion.

_ I may be a sociopathic murderer, Bon....

She notices him quoting what she's said recording her video a few hours ago.

_ ....but I'm clever enough to know I'm the last person you'd like to willingly cuddle with.

She steps back, looking straight in his eyes.

_ You're right. You're a bad person craving for touch, and I'm desperate. Win-win.

Her blunt logic hits something inside of him.

_ You think that low of me ?

_ Didn't show me much better.

_ Fair enough.

In a silent agreement, she places her head back on his chest, Kai's arms wrapped around her waist in a shy embrace.

_ And from what I've seen, I'm not the only one who could use a hug.

He wants to argue, but then remembers.... She knows. She saw him. Little Kai. 'Right where it hurts', he thinks.

_ Does that mean I've become your new teddy bear ? Am I the brand new Mister Cuddles ?

His voice sounds so excited it's endearing. Bonnie looks up at him. He winks, offering her a stupid grin, which hides much more. She has proof now.

_ Shut up.

She lowers her head, eyes closed.

_ If you promise not to invade my head again.

_ I'll try.

It may be a mistake, a bold move, a dumb experience, call this what you want, but she needs it. Wether it'd be a friend, a complete stranger, or an enemy.... She needs it. Human touch. She's got no magic to be sucked. It's 'safe'. For now....

A few minutes later, she's already fallen asleep.

Kai's watching her, sleeping in his arms, chest heaving at each intake of breath. He thinks about planting a kiss on top of her head, but it's not worth the risk. He doesn't remember the last time he got to hold someone, or the last time someone volunteered to hold him. He's thrown his feelings away a long time ago, but he would be lying if he'd say this didn't make his heart beat faster....

The End.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Words : 3k ~ how on earth ? When I said I got carried away. 🙄

That took fricking long to write !!

I don't even know if it actually respects the request. >< Sorry ?

Next time, say it if you want me to change Kai's personality a bit. If you want him to have more feelings than in the actual TV show, especially before the merge.

Don't hesitate to tell me your impressions.

✨❤️💀❤️✨

#tvd resquest #tvd imagines #the vampire diaries imagine #the vampire diaries #tvdu #bonkai #bonnie bennett #kai parker #miss cuddles #writing #prison world

[silverskull]

The Rookie 518 specumalation...

SO. MANY. THOUGHTS.

UC Chenford is like, my absolute favourite thing, and seeing Jake and Sava again…. Urgh, it’s bringing back all the memories of last summer (the good parts, obvs - the theories and the creativity and the craziness…)

I don’t usually like to speculate on episodes - I just like to let them happen. No point getting bogged down or upset if things don’t happen the way you’d like, and as a community, we can often get caught up in little details that just make us mad at one another 🤯.

THAT SAID, I have no problem doing *fun guessing*, or wondering how certain teasers connect. And since we have a hiatus and this is my favourite subject, let’s go down the rabbit hole…

I actually originally thought they may have taken the clips of Lucy’s interview in the station from last year’s Real Crime ep, but I checked and they did not (different lighting and angles). This is a part where I’m not majorly interested in guessing, but perhaps they do not interview Tim at the start, to keep up the fear factor, so Lucy is interviewed on her own. Followed by her and Tim interviewed at her apartment when it’s revealed he’s not dead. Or perhaps he’s there beside her and it’s just cropped. Not a spec to worry about either way.

Who the redhead is with Tim and Aaron, or why there’s a puff of smoke, I have no idea. But Tim looks good.

NOW.

This is where it gets interesting.

I think Jake gets out of jail (see barbed wire and “this is a high security” sign), and that the lovely image we’re all fainting over is actually really Jake and Sava, not UC Tim and Lucy, or any version of Dim and Juicy. I’m interested to see if Jake has lost weight too, or if his fling with the waitress in Vegas is brought up…

There are a few possibilities here, but I think, basically, there’s an issue between Jake and the guy we see him beating up in the alley. I can’t tell if Jake is really dead, or if the death is a setup by LAPD (if it’s a setup, I want happy Jake and Sava in the sunset afterwards 🌇). It could be some kind of triple cross con, where they pretend they think Tim is dead, but it turns out to be fake Jake. Meanwhile, real Jake is safe somewhere and he meets Sava at the end. 

Anyway, he’s probably really dead (which is very, very sad 😭) and the story we’re left with is Lucy going UC as Sava to figure it out. Meanwhile, real Sava is bopping around on her own, devastated by the death of her OTL. (‘Bopping’ and ‘devastated’ should not be used to describe the same moment of time for a character, but here we are. 🤷‍♀️) I think Lopez and Harper take her into the station to tell her about Jake’s death and, maybe, put her into protection for Lucy to go UC.

I think Sava on the bench meeting Beard Guy is actually Lucy, and I can’t be fully sure if Beard Guy is also Alleyway Guy. Possibly. But surely there are more characters involved.

The spoken lines are cut up all over the place. Listen with good speakers, don’t watch the picture, and you’ll hear it. I’m not fully convinced that just because “Tim just disappeared” sounds slightly English means it’s Sava. When Lopez and Harper meet (probably) Sava in the beginning, she doesn’t have an English accent there. 

Because of that, I have no inkling whether that’s Lucy or Sava. The only thing is, at the porch, she has her phone out, and the Lucy in the car crash does too. That’s obviously to facilitate the footage for the documentary, but I’m feeling slightly more like it might be Sava because of that.

I don’t know at what point the car crash fits into anything. I can’t tell if it’s Lucy or Sava, and the clothes and hair don’t match any of the other images we have of her. I think something hits her from behind while she’s on a video call, and I think she might be in the front passenger’s seat, but that’s all I can tell from that.

OKAY OKAY, NOW.

The most interesting bit! (According to me!)

What the hell is that massive house?!

There’s no way it’s Jake and Sava’s, so it might be something to do with Alleyway/Beard Guy (slash Jake’s murderer?!). It’s unlikely to be connected to the redhead lady scene, because Tim no longer has his vest on, and the neighbourhood looks entirely different. Either way, Tim and Sava/Lucy are not alone in there.

When Tim finds the secret door, someone is filming (perhaps Aaron’s bodycam/Sava’s phone?) and a third person appears in front of Tim - you get a split second of their hand. So it’s not like he’s hanging out alone, babysitting a grieving Sava, however interesting that might be.

My (second!) favourite thing from this promo was something I missed entirely on every other viewing, until I took the screencaps for this essay. THERE’S A HIDDEN ROOM FULL OF TREASURE. Or something. Probably something more boring, like notes, or art, or a dead body.

Maybe Jake was involved in some sort of heist for this stuff, got killed, LAPD got involved, Lucy goes UC as Sava, while Sava helps out on the LAPD side. Something goes wrong for Lucy (car crash?) and the team have to follow their own leads. Sava gives them this house address and they find the secret passage, but Tim falls through some sort of trap door. He may find the secret room on his own, or maybe they find it together.

Add to all this that set decorator and gentle spoiler man, William DeBiasio hinted that one or other of Chenford are in danger in this episode (just trust me - the tweet tree is too big to repost at this stage!), and the remaining one is worried about them. Because we hear “Tim just disappeared”, and because nothing bad has happened to him so far in the series, I’ve been assuming that the bad thing would happen to him. But really, it would make more sense if it happened to Lucy (back to the car crash/UC issue).

And then it would be Tim taking care of Lucy at her apartment. And since we see the cameras when Sava arrives at the station, Lucy's uniformed interview could be before the op takes place, while the interview at her apartment is afterwards.

Eric Winter was also asked in a cameo message why Lucy would do a documentary about UC, and thus broadcast her face to any potential criminals. He said “it’s all explained” in the episode.

Myself, I have a constant little racket in my head that reminds me “light drama, light drama, light drama”. The Rookie is not a very serious show, and we let a lot of inconsistencies slide. I’ve been letting the True Crime episodes exist outside reality, and just don’t think very deeply about how they affect the ongoing plot. I also love the True Crime episodes, and I cannot understand why people don’t! (You are completely allowed to not like them, I’m just letting you know where I stand!)

So with Eric saying Lucy talking in public about UC is “explained”, I’m wondering if something happens… like she gives up on UC? I’ve not been one of the people who thinks she dislikes it. I never got that feeling from her character. But maybe something in this episode changes her mind; or maybe I’ve been misreading her feelings.

Then again, it may be as simple as - someone uploaded her picture online (at the crash, or somewhere else public). Or Sava was broadcasting the whole thing (and that’s why we keep seeing her on her phone). So Lucy’s face (as Sava) is already out there, and it doesn’t matter in the context of this documentary.

--ETA-- Jake's clothes in the sunset gif are, I think, exactly what he was wearing when Tim and Lucy arrested him, giving more credence to the Jake & Sava theory.

--end ETA-- ANYWAY.

As you may be able to tell by now, I am super, super, SUPER excited about this ep. Some of my favourite bits of everything are going to be in it, and the only cherry that could make it even better would be some form of Chenford kiss. Imagine, less than one season on from 422, and I’m feeling deprived that we haven’t had a kiss in the last few episodes (goddamn that bug the actors got after 512……)

Now that I’ve typed this thesis, watch someone drop a new promo/spoiler that completely negates the entire thing.

WOOHOO, FANGIRLING.

#chenford #the rookie #ACTUAL SPECULATION #can you believe it amanda #i did it #MAYBE #jake and sava #dim and juicy #silverskull explodes #5x18

[atiny-for-life]

Xikers Full Storyline Explained - Part 3

Masterlist

NOTE: Apologies for the new post - I accidentally deleted the old one when I was cleaning up my old posts in the mass editor so I had to rewrite it from scratch.

DO or DIE

While this MV doesn't move the storyline forward (which is likely due to Junghoon's absence at the time), we can still take a little look at its self-contained plot for the fun of it!

We begin with a shot of an old tube TV with an integrated cassette player

Note the 'Xikers' and 'Do or Die' tape, as well as the blue-and-yellow background (the latter will be noteworthy in a second)

We zoom in on the screen as it switches on and displays the main menu of a little game called "The Adventures of Xikers: Zombieland"

A little pixelated red and black van comes flying at us as we select "Play" and cut to the Mission screen which announces: "Mission: Capture zombie's heart"

From there, we cut to the interior of (presumably the before seen) van where we find ourselves in the company of Xikers themselves

However, we're also quit to cut to another version of Xikers who're lounging on a couch and cushions in front of a familiar yellow-and-blue wall

It's now conveniently already been established that we've got both the in-game and real-life versions of them and we'll be cutting back and forth between the two throughout the duration of the MV

Their in-game versions roll up to a zombie-infested street with their weapons already in hand, kicking off their mission

(It's here where I'd like to point out the super extravagant outfits they're wearing which tell us that their real-life counterparts spent a ridiculous amount of time in the character creation section just to put as much random extra items on their avatars as possible)

Now at the starting point of the game, their in-game selves are quick to knock out a couple of zombies in a row, swinging bats and pipes to lay them out flat and stand threateningly over them

And by threateningly, I mean adorably

We've got Yujun hopping onto the roof of a car, while Jinsik, Yechan and Seeun push along a zombie whom they've placed on a hospital gurney

Meanwhile, Sumin has made himself at home in the back of a van stacked full of boxes labeled "xikers" which he then exits to show off its exterior (there, we can then also see the van company's motto: "We blow up everywhere" - a line from the song)

The members then gather around the gurney and begin to fasten electrodes to the zombie's chest, place headphones over his ears and inject him with an unknown substance (something tells me these kids don't have a medical license)

They then proceed to dump him in a wheelchair and push him along the street until they've reached the stage built at its end

Xikers take the stage and begin to perform as the zombies flock around the parked cars they'll sometimes be jumping onto

Some of the already treated zombies then also join in on the jamming as a drummer and guitarists respectively

As we move into vers two, we return to the real-life versions of xikers who, for now, stop playing and roam around the store they've been chilling in

The little "Tricky" video rental place is very much reminiscent of the Blockbuster stores found around the US from the mid-80s up until a decade or ago

This then raises the question what the fuck these kids are doing in there and why they're not being supervised by an older adult

Do Yechan's parents own the place? Did they start a business themselves at such a young age? Does one of them live in a house that has a fake video rental store in its basement for some reason? Guess we'll never know.

Either way, they return to the game after a bit and have Junmin absolutely obliterate half the earth for the sake of going full Happy Gilmore on an innocent golf ball

They then jam out with the zombies some more until they've fully converted them with the power of music and performance, at which point they join in on the dancing and fireworks explode in the sky, declaring the mission was successfully cleared which marks the closely followed end of the MV

#xikers #xikers lore #Minjae #Junmin #Sumin #Jinsik #Hyunwoo #Hunter #Junghoon #Seeun #Yujun #lee yechan #do or die mv #how to play

[poisonous-honey]

Hello hello! I deleted some of my other blogs and will slowly re-upload the fics and drabbles I made here. I hated having everything separated, this is just my attempt to make navigation less confusing for me. Also, so I can tag everything properly from the beginning lol

Website Master list/To Be Uploaded

Mobile Friendly Version under the cut (Work In Progress. Some links won't work I think, I just copy-pasted from my other page)

Masterlist - Word Wall

Hello! You found the word wall :) I’m using this as both a master list to stay organized and to keep track of what I haven’t finished yet.

If there’s no link, it hasn’t been uploaded. If you can’t find it, it might be in a collection page. If it’s neither then send an ask, I forgot lmao.

Genshin

Honestly assume it’s SAGAU unless stated otherwise

3.3 Tier List Mayhem

Scaramouche- I guess you should say Wanderer, has finally been released, and you’ve used him all week. After you’ve basically drowned yourself in content surrounding him after the Sumeru Interlude Quest you feel an update to your tier list is in order

36-Stars Of Jealousy

After a year worth of grinding you’ve finally conquered it, but at the cost of Venti’s exclusion. He should be happy for you, but can’t break away from his seething jealousy and sadness.

Cats On Crack (Collection)

Luck never seems to be on your side. You always seem to end up helping other unlucky souls on their own journey, as if fate itself thought it was your job to be a substitute guardian angel. Maybe that’s why you find yourself standing in front of a group of cats protecting one of their injured. It doesn’t matter if it’s Lady Luck or the Goddess of Fate condemning you to this role, but you hope they step on a Lego Brick. (Not SAGAU)

The Cruel Act Of Breaking The World

They try their hardest to keep you entertained. To keep you within their realm of ones and zeros, so your immersion doesn’t fall, and their mind doesn’t shatter. They know their walls are fake and lives are merely code, but that doesn’t make seeing the out-of-bounds any less harsh.

Fontaine Is Committing Childe Slander FR

Childe’s treatment in the Fontaine Archon Quests puts you in a terrible mood

Garden Of Eden

The world has ended and there was nothing they could do about it. Xiao and Aether share a quiet moment in a sea of flowers. (God Reader || Not SAGAU || Reader Isn't Even Physically Present In It)

Genshin Is Crossing Over (Collection)

Where all the crossover fics are kept (i.e. The Venti Parable, Does Having Animal Ears Make You A Pokémon etc.)

Genshin Incorrect Quotes (Collection)

Silly and crack. Basically what the title says.

In The Abyss We Learn To Worship

Why does Childe seem to be your most devoted acolyte, even surpassing that of the Archons? (KINDA CULT AU (ALSO OLD))

Irodori Festival

Little blob!

Just Unbuilt, Or Am I Unwanted?

As you try to improve Xiao’s build for the 100th time, some of the others finally lose their patience

Losing Your 50/50

An ask by Coldbarbarianpeace!

Nahida’s Precious Tailor

The little lord of Sumeru calls upon your aid as she wishes for a wardrobe change.

Naming Wanderer Something Silly

An ask by Anonymous!

SAGAU Darling That’s Been To Other Games

What if for the SAGAU Darling doesn’t end up in Genshin first, but in a different game. Or maybe they were in multiple different games before they landed in Genshin. (HAS IMPOSTER AU IN IT (AND OLD))

Skipping Dialogue

What do the characters do when they find out you’re not paying attention?

Soul Crushing Guilt

The Knowledge That You’ve Been Controlling Real People With Thoughts And Feelings Has You At A Loss

Twins In SAGAU

For the self-aware Genshin AU there have been some slices where Darling has a twin and the twin either isn’t respected as much or in the villain au they’re treated as the imposter. That’s cool and all, but what if the twin worked for Mihoyo (OLD)

Why Are Their Designs So Complicated???

You thought Kaveh would be an easier character to draw. At a glance, his outfit is much simpler than a majority of the casts, so you thought he’d be a safe pick for fanart. How wrong you were.

(18+)

Honkai Star Rail

Losing Your 50/50

An ask by Coldbarbarianpeace!

#Pois.Posts #i just need to remember when i wrote all of it #some are easy to guess #some not so much unfortunately #might've done me good to write the dates down before i deleted everything #:qiqi-has-fallen: #Since my blog theme is freaking out and I remembered they don't even work on the app anyway #I'm adding this here so my to-do list is still accessible #masterlist

[weeklydrarryficrecs]

My Year in Review is Actually Just a Drarry Rec List (lol)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

In the Shadow of Your Heart by lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill)

Summary

And thus began the very strange circumstance of their fake dating in public and real fucking in absolute secret. It was, with no comparison, the weirdest relationship Draco had ever been in – which was to say, it wasn't one. Rating: Explicit Word Count: 51881

Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282198/chapters/27917463

My Thoughts: This is one of those fics that had me (hypothetically) screaming from my rooftop over how amazing it was. Draco’s engaging voice kept the story moving and made the fic immensely comforting. This story is a cup of hot chocolate for the mind: rich, indulgent, and soothing.

Header Art generated by Wombo Dream.

35 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#4

A Pocket Full of Stones by waterwings

Summary:

A curse is spreading through the wizarding world, erasing memories of the war. Harry Potter is on the case! Where Draco is the DMLE’s most wanted dark wizard and Harry is the private investigator tasked with bringing him in. It goes as well as one might expect. Rating: Explicit Word Count: 67983

Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36210718/chapters/90265783

My Thoughts: This fic is so beautifully written. The prose, at times, reads like a Greek epic, poetic and larger than life. Draco, a consummate Dark wizard, glides through the story, captivating Harry (and me). This version of Draco is fascinating and horribly beautiful. Draco and all the characters drew me more and more into the story. It was so hard saying goodbye to this world at the end of the fic. I hope everyone reads this story! 

Header Art generated by Wombo Dream.      

38 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Life Lessons by bixgirl1

Summary

On the cusp of a promotion, Harry needs a little help with his image. Enter Draco Malfoy — who doesn't really do that, Potter — to whip him into shape… and make him feel things he hasn't for a very long time.

Featuring: odd jobs, surprising chemistry, lots of accidental kissing, the Prophet living up to type, owls exhausted by the carrying of dirty letters, a secret no one can talk about, a merry band of Slytherins (none of whom really approve), and an enchanted mirror (who really, really does). Rating: Explicit Word Count: 68378 

Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090108/chapters/45353227

My Thoughts: I absolutely loved the letters in this fic. Each letter had great pacing and captured the characters' voices so well. The "My Fair Lady" aspect and a fabulous Draco made the fic so much fun to read! Header Art generated by Wombo Dream.  

40 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#2

Loverboys by corvuscrowned

Summary 

As post-war violence and tensions rise, it seems as if there’s no hope to unify the wizarding world. Except, maybe, a manufactured relationship between resident Saviour Harry Potter and known purveyor of the Dark Arts Draco Malfoy. (The fact that they detest each other is beside the point. But as Draco’s unrelenting mind games begin to wear him down, Harry has to remind himself that it’s all fake. The relationship is fake. The affection is fake. The pet names, the romance — even the engagement photos are fake. But there’s something in Draco’s kiss that might just be real. Word Count: 84196

Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35143108/chapters/87553033

My Notes: This fic has excellent pacing, and the growth of Harry and Draco's relationship is quite satisfying. I was particularly intrigued by this post-War world's social issues and dynamics. This fic has a good mix of politics, romance, and erotic elements that make it strong. 

40 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym

Summary:

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought. Word Count: 131086

Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794657/chapters/21995357

My Thoughts: Oh my god, what a fantastic fic. I feel healed, refreshed, and reborn after reading it. Draco's dialog had me laughing alone in my room, and Harry's ruminations had me rethinking my life. This story's approach to adulting up (or more like watching your friends become adults while you're trying to figure things out) is truly gold.

115 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#these are some good fics here #drarry #drarry fic rec #hpmd #tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #2022

[hellsdisneyprincess]

‽: An unpopular/unusual ship with my character that I love

((That's a hard question to answer since I've not really seen anyone ship much with Charlie besides Chaggie and Charlastor/Radiobelle. And both are quite popular. I've seen people add Emily to the Chaggie mix too, but I'm not a fan of that since she is too similar to Charlie. So I guess to cop out, I'll give my general views on shipping for Charlie.

I think the best kind of partner for Charlie is someone that supports her in a way that challenges her. Someone who doesn't see her as her role or what she can do for them, but who she is, while also helping her grow and mature.

Most characters available either are too much like Charlie (like Emily), fulfill the role in a familial/parental figure/mentor way (Rosie, etc), don't have enough meaningful interaction for me to see as much beyond platonic (Niffty), or would be too antagonistic without the redeeming qualities that Charlie would need without significant overhaul (The Vees or Lute).

- Chaggie: I think this ship does accomplish a lot for this, though I really do wish they explored the whole "you were an Exorcist" thing rather than focus almost entirely on the lying part. Because while that is important and that they'd ultimately get through it because of who Vaggie is now, it shouldn't have been dismissed so easily that it was Charlie's people Vaggie was killing before. I also do wish that Vaggie had a little more pushback than she does, but I don't think it's a total pushover situation that I've seen people criticize it as. She's supporting Charlie as she can, but doesn't want to control her either.

- Charlastor/Radiobelle: This one is a weird case for me since when I was watching the show, I'd put their dynamic in the familial camp at best and antagonistic via manipulation at worst. But I have seen SO MUCH fanart that is really damn cute that it's shifted me a bit. So now there's like... Multiple versions of their dynamic in their mind. One is the antagonistic/manipulative where the positive interactions were fake from the beginning and everything is one-sided (or at least he makes the choice to remain this way once he starts caring instead of being genuine and that his goals are more important), platonic mentor figure (where he goes into things for his own reasons but ends up caring without despite efforts otherwise and may try to work towards other interests than JUST his own if he can), then the ship version where catching feelings entails romantic feelings rather than platonic ones.

EDITING TO ADD: I don't usually like toxic ships, but the idea of it being one-sided for Charlie to be met with an ultimate betrayal is juicy as hell and I LOVE that angst. Even more fun if Alastor realizes he DOES have feelings of some sort for her, but prioritizes his own goals first, so he is also hurt by his own betrayal even if the ends justify the means for him. GUH.

All that said, I think a POTENTIAL ship besides all the ones mentioned that I think has a shot is with Angel Dust, assuming he is played with a different orientation or they're queerplatonic with each other. But I haven't seen enough of that to have a clear idea where that ship would go.

Also, this is subject to change with RP. Since different versions of characters provide different interaction potentials, as well as OCs. But I can't go into those LOOKING for a ship because just like real life, can't really force that chemistry. And that is important to me. I'd rather not RP a ship at all than to force a square peg into a round hole.

#megs the mun #hopefully that wasn't TOO off course #but a good opportunity to talk about where i stand with shipping in general #voxiiferous

[emberphantom]

how long have you been a fan of iasip and how long on sunnyblr? do you know who here has been around for a long time? how has the fandom developed and changed from your perspective? has it always been so reddit-oriented? what have the main opinions (general consensus kinda shit) been in your eyes? were you into macdennis right from the start? did the fandom always follow rcg so closely or is that only after the podcast? sorry for asking so much, just interested in the history of this space

Step into my office Anon. Let me regale you the tale of Sunnyblr from the days of yore. Or whatever.

Me personally, I started watching Sunny in late summer 2019 (tragically I had just missed the fake MacDennis script panic of July 2019). My friends had it on when I went to their house and we didn't have anything else to do, so we just watched like a shitton of episodes that day and I was like hold fuck on this scratches something in my brain. I didn't start poking around on the Sunny side of tumblr until possibly a week later? I think. Basically in my skipping around Sunny episodes I was starting to pick up the vibes Mac and Dennis were putting down and as a joke I was like hmm what if I just take a look at the ao3 tag ahaha jk unless. And that was the beginning of the end. I'm not sure if I checked out the Sunny tag on tumblr first or the MacDennis tag but literally at that time it didn't matter. Sunnyblr was essentially MacDennisblr. Tumblr didn't get me into MacDennis but it definitely accelerated my hyperfixation with them This was all pre-s14 at this point for reference.

Honestly, not many people remain from that time or even before. I remember some folks I had followed reminiscing about post-s12, wondering if Dennis was coming back, or if he turned into the bar. Idk man I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with not knowing if Dennis was coming back like that would've been too much for me.

But 2019 Sunnyblr, and this may just be the nostalgia talking, but man it was magical. The gif sets, the meta breakdowns of episodes, the macdennis posts--god we were eating GOOD. It felt like one giant group chat in the best way. And then The Gang Gets Romantic happens an we were absolutely FERAL. Okay? Like picture Nov 5th but on a way smaller scale. But that was the energy, okay?

But then, tragedy struck in the form of Dee Day. That, for me was kinda the beginning of the end of that version of Sunnyblr. A lot of people were pissed. The glass shelves we had propped RCG and Megan Ganz up on had shattered. A decent amount of people left right then and there. But those who stayed were holding out for something -- a better apology from them regarding the brownface for one. And that...didn't happen (I don't want to speak more on this bc like...look I'll be real with you, I stuck my head in the sand on this one. But people had a right to be hurt by that episode and to this day I haven't rewatched it since it aired). But we trudged along. Bc it's "satire" and these are "bad people" and we are DEF getting canon MacDennis okay they are going to KISS on the MOUTH in BIG MO.

....and then they didn't. Clown shoes squeaking.

Okay trying to get this back on track...

As far as reddit goes, that's always just been the "dudebro" place for Sunny. Sometimes they make valid points and our braincells align and that warrants someone posting it here to discuss.

I feel like the general opinions kinda feel the same to me? Mac and Dennis are endgame, Archie. Dennis is bastardman but also baby. Charlie poor little meow meow. I do have to say...I feel like some stuff used to feel a bit more...grounded than it does now?? If that makes sense? Like idk man people were out here writing academic prose to describe the meta in Clip Show. And I do feel like that vibe's kinda gone. But it's not a bad thing. It's just different. Like it's more unhinged but hey we're still having fun so who cares?

Uh what else? Oh yeah so the RCG stuff. Like I said before, there was a point where Sunnyblr propped them up and we got reality checked real quick, okay? They went from being UnProblematic Kings ™ to Rob posting copaganda on his IG at the height of the George Floyd protests in June of 2020. That happening after all the shit with Dee Day was basically a powder keg. And that's honestly when Sunnyblr as I knew it, really died.

I think the podcast has def shoved them back into a more favorable light in the fandom's eyes. Speaking for myself, I never stopped stanning Glenn but Rob and Charlie and Kait were on thin fucking ice (maybe not Charlie so much but def Rob and Kait--actually mostly Rob). I think RCG have to be prevalent in the fandom as much as the characters do bc they're so close to them and the show like this IS their show y'know?

That's...all I can really think of. Like I said, not many people remain from those days. I can think of maybe a handful off the top of my head but I wouldn't consider them nearly as active as they were regarding Sunny when I joined. We're still moots but that's bc we like each other beyond the MacDennis of it all.

Sorry this is so long too lmfao. Like Sunnyblr was such a huge part of my life during that time so I guess I got shit to say. I also for real in no way consider myself the end all be all expert on this either. Like in no way am I the sole authority on Sunnyblr history. This is based on stuff I experienced and picked up on from other's posts from before my time. Anybody can chime in with their own opinions and shit. Correct me too. Idc.

Uh yeah. So I guess that's what you missed on Glee. Or Sunnyblr. The end? I hope that helped (for real).

#allison answers shit #sunny asks #sunny #macdennis #long post

[olderthannetfic]

Do you or your readers have any opinions on formatting dream sequences in fic? Or any thoughts on what makes a good one? To italicise or not to italicise... to signpost early or reveal at the end... what do people love or not love about dream sequences? (Apologies if this has been asked before)

--

You know, I don't think it has been asked before, actually.

For me personally, I usually like it signposted early if it's going to be a long sequence, but it depends on what function the dream is serving in your story.

--

Italics are acceptable, but reading huge blocks of them can be a pain. In many cases, it's probably best to begin the dream at a chapter break or big scene division, then make it crystal clear in the text when it ends (starting a paragraph with "X woke" or something) rather than using a lot of formatting of the dream itself.

However, it depends entirely on the structure of the work. If it's a fic that is punctuated by little snippets of dream that grow and eventually reveal the whole dream, recontextualizing the fic thus far, I'd absolutely put the few little dream paragraphs in italics. They'd be visual dividers between different parts of the fic.

--

I can't think of anything I love about them. I can think of many things I hate, but they all boil down to "Why is this here?"

A dream sequence should serve a purpose in the fic, so if it turns into too many paragraphs of impenetrable purple prose, I'll feel like it has overstayed its welcome and is no longer serving a good purpose. Even if it's short and well-written, I'll still get annoyed if it doesn't seem to be well integrated into the rest of the story.

Think about how dream sequences are used in other media.

Plenty of tv episodes have a character waking from a prophetic dream. They worry about it. Eventually, when the events come to pass, they either avert disaster because of the dream or the real events turn out to technically match the dream but are completely different from what the character and audience assumed. These dreams add foreshadowing, set up up irony, or raise the stakes.

Some dream sequences show what a character is worried about and thus are character development. Maybe the dream itself shows this. Maybe the dream is them being a villain or being into weird sex or whatever, and it's only when they wake that they go "Oh no! What does this mean?!" That reaction is the point and the existence of the dream sequence should serve it.

Some dream sequences exist to show that a character has been given hallucinogens, a psychic is messing with their mind, etc.

Once in a while, a fic has a tragic dream, and then the character wakes up and everything is fine. The one I recall like this that I actually enjoyed was a BTS fic where the point was the dreamer going and getting cuddles from another member after waking up. The whole thing contrasted their music video AU with their real lives. What I liked was that observation of how weird it would be to spend time on an AU of yourself that's sad and awful and how it would mess with you. It wasn't just that a character had a scary dream and then got comforted: there was a bit more specific reason to show that dream on-page.

A fic needs a twist, coda, or commentary other than "It was all a dream! LOL!"

Bad versions of dream sequences (which are numerous, I'm sorry to say) tend to just rely on "Surprise! It was fake!" If you just wipe out everything that has happened, then the emotional stakes you set up within the dream don't matter. You're telling the reader that the story doesn't matter.

It is crucial that the dream have lasting, real world impact.

The dreamer realizes something about their own feelings that they didn't before the dream. The dream is literally prophetic and changes how the character reacts. The dream is imposed by an outside force on purpose. It can be a realistic, internal, emotional impact. It can be a sff plot device where the dream is more than just a regular dream. But there has to be something.

Otherwise, you're writing filler, and your fic would probably be stronger without it.

[incarnateirony]

I know I shouldn't, but I'm really curious about the bullshit this guy Pat says and I would like to have a look at his twitter, what is his twitter account? You talk about him often but many times I don't get it because it's all out of context to me (like your last post with the picture from TW trailer, what happens there?)

shooting an answer before work. Pat uses some variant Of TeamFreeWillTwoPointO on every platform like tfwtwopointo etc. Don't let the name fool you, it fooled many for years, he's a jared stan that does everything he can to minimize and stomp down jensen and other successes and greatly inflate and dramatize Jared's successes. It's a mix of propaganda account and wanna-be leaker

Things Pat has argued with me on saying "his sources" told him:

My statement about the ending: order of death, roadhouse reunion, etc. Pat mocked this not coming true. Radio silence when Dabb clarified the original ending, which Pat never had access to, only the late omitted one. I'd say that was more than his version where he was talking about "a battle for Dean's soul" I sent someone to correct him on that he never picked up on.

THAT anything was omitted. He rabidly denied it and acted like it was in tact, not WANTING to admit a considerably modified finale. Then, the script came. This is why he worked so hard WITH. KELIOS. AND. CO. to try to get the script to have control of it. They spent 5K, we spent 25, and ultimately, well. You know. [Omitted.]

I wrote a post about Jensen having a hard time letting go and moving on. Many posts, actually. The first came the December after the finale, when I "speculated", attached to that phrase, that he was working on something to help his character resolution--the Mary and John details didn't come for several more months as the decided/accepted/inked pitch/deal. Roughly 2 months before the Deadline leak and mantrum day. And, for many months, I reminded people that Jensen had a hard time Letting Go and Moving On in associated contexts I was trying to inform people on. Pat went out of his way to argue with this and call me wrong and projecting, and then Jensen used the phrases verbatim, almost like I might have been quoting him BTS or something IDK!!! Either way, he brushed that under the rug.

I released the pilot script. Pat screamed up and down that his sources said it was fake, totes real CM sources. I know who, that person tried to argue with me too. I knew they were wrong, cuz they couldn't even begin to wrap their heads around why I knew they were wrong. Radio silence since filming and the trailer. Hell my *pinned post* was an effort of explaining like they were five what kind of script it was and what, if any, changes happened. And I mean, give it a skim. Look at filming and the trailer. Tada.

His own friend rings were among the people screaming for SEASONS, until the bitter, awakening end, that Berens had no Destiel intention, or even claimed he supported Wincest, because they had no idea of all the BTS intel about the man or his open secrets of conversations abroad on favorites and intent. He has no concept who anyone is, who they know and are close with, or what these social crossengagements come from. They didn't LIKE the idea that Berens was gunning for Destiel all along, and they denied it, and Pat amplified it. And [gestures at everything] now they're real pressed realizing either he's back, or in the very least, he's boning the showrunner, and might have a teensy little bit of consulting influence.

Now he's out here pitching arguments nobody did. People are out here pointing out the Mise en Scene similarity to purgatory, from gamma lighting to afterlife elements to dean's wardrobe but the goddamn SECOND Pat realized that mise en scene and wardrobe directly anchored Dean to 15.04 and 15.09 specifically, the latter as afterlife fodder, he's losing his mind. "IT'S NOT HAPPENING IN PURGATORY STUPIDS" no shit sherlock we're talking about concepts, story vibes and mise en scene do you fucking understand what this is in your lil peanut brain, pat.

He loves to wave MY SOURCES MY SOURCES MY SOURCES then finally one day when he got pressed he cracked and admitted his source was legit "I have a friend in LA" and "my brother's cousin's boyfriend's best friend worked on a show adjacent to misha once" no I'm not fucking kidding, these are this dude's idea of sources. His only better one is one I use as a tertiary intel source because she's just crawled up from fandom, limited contact, limited perspective, limited development insight, and a LOT of other reasons making her intel complicated to parse.

He tries DESPERATELY to echo me, in some futile attempt to pretend "anyone can do what Min does!!" like he tries to spec unannounced actors and stuff and misses the mark EVERY TIME because he does NOT know this industry, he does NOT know how to qualify leads, and he does NOT know how to keep his media muggle thoughts and biases out of coloring in the information he gets.

So yeah. That's Pat.

He's pressed af and looking to swing against the very obvious patterns going on here. IDK why he thinks that'll change the result.

This man is goddamn OBSESSED with arguing with everything I release, and ALWAYS buries it resultingly making an ass out of himself. He wants real, real bad how to figure out how to do what I do or how to have what I have and my god will he throw his daily temper tantrums to display it.

More often than not, Pat's "intel" is a small whisper of accurate information that means very little without context, that he then appends violently wrong opinions all over to the point the original whisper is unintelligible from itself, leading to him putting out giant editorialization and opinion pieces and trying to call them Inside Information. When not a soul that's worth a damn has ever sat down and talked with him. Promise.

I don't know if he's aware he's doing it, but that's his weakness every time. He can't sort out his wants, dreams, dislikes and fan ambitions from when he does get a nublet of information and decides to figure out how that nublet of information fits into his world view, rather than finding accessory information to understand the world that information exists in and how it interacts with, yknow, reality.

Because in a way, it does feel like Him and His have some sort of derealization going on. Like if they argue and do enough backflips and brush enough failures under the rug, that if they argue REAL HARD and wish on their ring of INFINITE WISHES, reality will change the result for them, and I'm sorry, no matter how many dumb posts Pat, Pathyrn or loljackles (don't get me started on the "pre successful actor" that argued against global industry decline and then whipped it out when walker was failing in 18-35, incorrectly) publish, that's not how it works.

None of these folks actually have a building understanding of what IS, just a million things they want to scream it isn't, whether or not it's coherent, related to the information at hand or resonant with common sense resulting. They have NO fuckin spec, much less ACTUAL INFORMATION, on where this shit IS heading, they're just actively pissing themselves day-in-day-out screaming "NO!!!!"

If Pat put in like. Five minutes. Five minutes of not wanting to argue with something he doesn't like. Five minutes of applying, to me even, the same sort of pattern solving he SHOULD be, but never does, with his "info". That if he put together all the posts in all the world that he wiped out embarrassed on, and me being more accurate than his supposed CM source I told was wrong to their face, and all the other information I'm putting out around it ahead of the curve like actors and writers he can't keep up with that like. He could kinda. Figure out what's happening here. And stop embarrassing himself.

But he won't.

Read between the FUCKING lines, pat.

I'm out here leaking shit as far as episode 3 and these ding dongs still can't wrap their heads around the pilot.

So how about you pack this in your pipe and smoke it: the team not only fully intends to address the confession in this property, but are holding open discourse on the when, where, how, considering the potential accordion nature of the show for a few years.

K?

He's gonna call me a liar. I'm gonna not care. Because it's happening.

It's one of the primary arcs that need to be adjusted to the show arcs if there's an accordion. I need everyone that doesn't like this to start wrapping their fucking grey matter around it right now. It doesn't matter if you like it. The people creating it, Jensen included, do, and have it on the priority plot list

I rarely state my info this directly as much as weaved through supposed theories with some public facing receipts. But fuck it. I'm gonna say it outright and it needs to be said.

jensen isn't who you think he is, Pat2 and lolj. Like. I can not emphasize that enough. Jensen. Is not who you little lot think he is. I'm not saying this... blindly or parasocially as some kind of fan. I'm just sitting here saucer eyed that you haven't figured out what's happening here yet. Even just from your outside views looking in pretending you understand it Inside. Like. There's a certain point I gotta raise my brow and ask what psychic block there is to pretend not to see it even public facing. Much LESS things said behind closed doors. Many of which you have argued with my posts on. Such as Let Go and Move on. Which is honestly, something YALL need to do. He's not what you want him to be any more than Berens was what you wanted him to be all those many years you screamed in denial only to get a gay pie to the face

dumb fuck arguing with my posts basically arguing with jensen or thompson the last year as pre-release of later statements from them because they can't cope that they're real people and not narrative toys for Pat to play with on tumblr.

ok?

ok.

cool.

bye.

#mildew #supernatural #the winchesters

[septembersghost]

I was reading a thread about blonde and I saw someone say if they wanted to fictionalize her life, they could've made it empowering and changed the ending so she lived, like once upon a time in hollywood, but would that really be any better? why not make a fictional movie depicting these things at that point? why does Marilyn have to be the brutalized subject?

i mean, the director is blatantly obsessed with her death to the point where he said it's the whole purpose of the story and nothing else about her life matters, because he's a disgusting misogynistic ghoul (if you read any of the things he's said, his outlook on people who suffer addiction or die by su*cide is shockingly dehumanizing. which isn't even beginning to get into the fact that marilyn's death was most likely accidental and incorrectly ruled intentional by the coroner).

that said, would a version of her story where she lived be better? i don't know. it would be nice to live in the fantasy where that happened (and it has been done elsewhere, you mention sharon tate in ouatih, they did the same with john lennon in yesterday), it's dependent on how it's handled, i guess, and does raise the question of why not just tell a fictional story then? i have a family member who absolutely hates biopics and even historical fiction because he thinks it's unethical to embellish/fabricate/dramatize real people's lives, and we talked about this at length once. it gets tricky because no history or real life can ever be depicted in its entirety as a story, narratives have to be constructed to be interesting. and historical fiction is an ancient part of the form - i remember asking him how we reckon with shakespeare writing plays about real figures, for example - and there's not an easy conclusion. that said, what i do think matters is some measure of empathy and understanding for the subject so that a piece isn't blatant exploitation. blonde isn't problematic because it's fiction (my week with marilyn is fictional too, but at least she's treated like a person in it; smash fictionalized her a bit musically but was so special and meaningful to me), it's problematic because it's exploitative and traumatic for the sake of debasement.

the answer here being, of course, because it's more buzzworthy to exploit the real person and hideously fictionally degrade and abuse her, and draws more attention, than a fictional starlet would. marilyn is still incandescent and instantly recognizable and consumable as a tragedy. her rights are owned by an ad agency who only cares about making money off her image - hence countless products with fake quotes printed on them (and i admittedly have some mm things) - so they don't care how she's depicted so long as she gets a check, and the graphic fictionalized account of her life is only dollar signs to them.

marilyn exists in a particular section of pop culture that is very difficult to confront. her contemporaries would never be treated in this way, even though many of them had very sad stories of hardship too, or experienced abuse themselves. we're not seeing this done to audrey hepburn or grace kelly or rita hayworth or elizabeth taylor or vivien leigh or natalie wood (the list of talented, unforgettable and beautiful women from that time goes on and is long). even when any of those women have had biopics made about them, there's a very different intent. (ie: nicole kidman portrayed grace kelly and lucille ball in recent years to mixed reviews, and i don't agree with sorkin on the latter at all, but at least it wasn't exploitative. renee zellweger won an oscar for playing judy garland, michelle williams played marilyn and then played gwen verdon to moving effect). but marilyn is so ingrained in the public consciousness as a pinup and sex object that she gets reduced to it far more easily, as if that should just be the expectation for her. i remember there was a thing in the 2000s (which was just not a great time in discussions of women), where there was this idea that "trashy" girls liked marilyn and "classy" girls liked audrey, and you should always aim to be an audrey. (i love audrey too, this is not her fault.) and it was only looking at them as flat images to pit them against each other. hair color, body types, class backgrounds, these were seen as morally based differences rather than any appreciation of either actual woman. pop culture has been obsessed with this madonna/whore mentality when it comes to marilyn - she was poor, her mother was mentally ill, her father abandoned her, she didn't get a formal education, she modeled and (gasp) did a shoot nude when she needed money to survive, so doesn't that make her a commodity, a body we're allowed access to? forget that she pushed back against that very idea when she was living. the way her varying hardships are viewed as entertainment fodder has always been gross, even though she was far from alone in having those difficulties. (the world lost judy only seven years after marilyn, in a not dissimilar way). when marilyn said she was constantly running into people's subconscious, it's still true. so much has been projected onto her that frankly any telling of her story says more about the creator than it does about her. there's a mystique because she's seen as a creation/invention, painted over norma jeane, there's an ease to reducing her to a baby doll voice or to fragility or to desperation for affection. there's an oddly derisive air around her talent, the blame for which is the remains of the studio system that wouldn't take her seriously. there's an obsession with her lateness and her substance abuse and her medical care that erases context for how those things transpired. she's like a mirror reflecting whatever is desired, rather than a human subject. they're taking her personhood and soul away from her to render her this defiled, diaphonous thing.

besides the quotes i put in the other post, her pleading to not be made into a joke, i've been thinking about this a lot too - "hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents."

#marilyn monroe #blonde #blonde 2022 #anonymous #letterbox

[mollrat101]

While the joke was that Deborah just loves attention, she’s not gay or straight, I do think there’s room for really examining that and they did leave the door open. 

Cause I do feel like the show is really asking about Deborah of what’s the difference between attention and real intimacy and desire and love. 

That’s what Ava was trying to get at with her convo on comphet. There’s a difference between liking attention and actually desiring closeness and intimacy with another person. And it’s not always clear where the difference begins and ends. 

Deb got caught up in the temporary attention by the women (which turned out not to be real which *sighs* let’s not get into that, it’ll just make me mad lol) which almost turned on its head the comphet point Ava was arguing. Deb got caught up in the attention of women, but there was still no real intimacy or desire. 

The conclusion (at this point) feels less like “Deborah is straight and she just likes attention” more than it does “actually, Deborah is so closed off and cut off from her own desire that she can’t actually tell the difference between being attracted and just liking being wanted”. Which was Ava’s point but turned up to 11. Deb says she’s turned on by flattery, but I don’t think that’s really true. 

Deborah is a performer and I don’t think Ava was wrong in her email that the adulation from fans gives Deborah a sense of love that she lacks in her personal life. But, of course, it’s not real love. These people don’t actually know Deborah, especially based on the fact that she’s been lying for so long. The tragedy of Deborah is, for so long, no one has really known her, not even supposedly the people closest to her. 

But I think, like all people, Deborah has a deep desire in her heart to be seen for all she is and loved. 

I think what’s clear about Deborah’s love life is that Deb loved Frank with all she had. She tried to make it work between them. She wanted that artistic life with him. She wanted a family with him. She wanted to share her new success with her family in the unaired pilot. But Frank didn’t want to see Deborah succeed, it threatened his ego. He loved Deb as long as she didn’t outshine him. 

But even with someone she loved and someone she wanted to be close to, Deborah still had sexual problems with Frank. 

“Ladies, have you ever noticed that men seem to feel entitled to sex on their birthday? No, thanks. You know, a word of advice. Next time, marry a guy born on leap day.”

In the original pilot script: “My ex-husband always thought he was entitled to sex on his birthday. No thanks. I’m going to make sure the next guy I marry was born on Leap Day.” 

It’s hard to say at this point why Deborah struggles so much with sexual desire, as we still need more information. But I could argue that maybe the desire Deborah is missing from her life is actually related to how few of the people she sleeps with really know her. They’re sleeping with a version of Deborah that’s a performance. There’s an argument to be made that sexual desire for women is really wrapped up in wanting to be wanted and there’s truth to that. But the question is, which version of Deborah does she want to be wanted for? 

She sings “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” which does express the point of what kind of woman Deborah wants to be. Deb’s ideas about womanhood are being challenged right now. But it doesn’t feel earned because of a fake piece of attention she got from one woman who doesn’t know her. 

“Although Goffin’s lyrics could be interpreted as describing a woman being validated by a man, the song has come to be seen as a celebration of womanhood and as an anthem for female empowerment. As Dr Mike Jones of Liverpool University’s Institute of Popular Music points out, no one who has listened to Franklin sing it ever imagined that this was a woman who needed validation from anyone.”

What strikes me about this song is that it actually is perfect for Deborah. It’s about a woman who has become more secure in herself. A woman who is living a more authentic and freer version of herself. Someone who has found clarity and purpose. Someone who has managed to both be confident in herself and in her own skin, but also free to get close to others. She is a woman who is self-assured and confident about her life, who she is and in her own body. 

But the problem is that nothing before makes this song feel earned. Deborah hasn’t really gone beyond the idea of wanting validation from men, as evidenced by her desiring Marty’s attention. Ava has only just presented this idea to her and she’s had no time to digest it. Who has made Deborah feel like a “natural woman”? A woman who’s faking flirting with her? I get that she doesn’t know it’s fake at this point, but by making it fake it removes the impact of this moment. 

See, I understand if the writers didn’t want to further the idea that anything romantic will happen with Deborah and Ava, but taking out the subtext actually makes it make less sense. It would’ve made more sense if a compliment from Ava would’ve inspired such a strong reaction from Deborah. Both because of how well Ava knows her and because of how much Deb cares about her. A beautiful young woman who has seen you at your least glamorous and knows your secrets and tells you you’re sexy? Especially from the woman who could embody the lyrics of “ When my soul was in the lost and found /You came along to claim it”. A woman who has broken through Deb’s walls and allowed her to finally start healing and living a fuller life. That would make the song feel justified. 

Edit: @lavenderwedding made a good point that the song choice might be more about what Deborah wishes to be, rather than what she’s currently feeling. That’s honestly a good interpretation and I think is a good alternative to my initial thought that the song wasn’t earned. The song could suggest that Deborah eventually will become that self-assured, sexually confident and emotionally open protagonist of the song, but she’s not there yet. And the fact that this happens after the comphet discussion, Deb examining her sexuality could be the key to achieving this. 

Cause it’s a natural human desire to want to be desired and validated. I don’t think that in of itself is a problem. Ava and Deborah provide each other the validation they’ve desperately been wanting. But when it comes to men, and people in general, Deborah has been getting validation for superficial reasons. A facade that’s not really who Deborah is deep down. Marty just wants to pick Deb up when he feels like it and has no interest in investing in her as a person. With other men, it might have been similar or Deb deliberately kept them at a distance so as not to risk hurt. 

Why I think Deb’s idea that she’s turned on or wants flattery isn’t true is 1.07 where Ava tells DJ how cool it is that she found someone who loves her for exactly who she is. The camera cuts to Deboah looking sad. DJ accuses Deborah of being jealous that DJ has found a person who loves her and the thing is? I think she has a point. Deb keeps doubting DJ and Aidan’s love for each other and it’s proven wrong each time. Her own bad experiences with Frank making her not see that they’re the real deal. Her cynicism is proven unjustified. 

Deborah wants to be loved unconditionally but she doesn’t know how to get out of her own way enough to let down her guard enough to let someone in. The risk is potentially pain when you’ve shown someone yourself and they reject you but there’s also a potential reward of someone seeing you and loving you. There is no shortcut to that. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. 

I have no idea whether or not having someone who sees Deborah clearly and loves her would fix her sexual problems, but it at least has powerful potential. 

Part of why I believe (or believed, I don’t feel especially confident) that Ava was the partner Deborah has always wanted is that she makes all the pieces fit together of what Deborah has been missing. 

Ava doesn’t start out as a fan, so slowly Ava starts to respect Deb as an artist. Ava doesn’t flatter her like a fan would, on the contrary, she challenges her which is what Deb needs. She forces Deb to stop performing and being more honesty, something that no one else ever calls her out on. Ava clearly sees Deborah in all the sides, as an artist, as a mother, as a friend. She shares Deborah’s love for the craft so she understands why this matters so much to her. But Ava is a writer, not a performer, so there’s not the same level of competitiveness, in fact they complement each other’s strengths. Ava is actually a good person, unlike Frank who felt no remorse when he hurt her. Deb can’t find a perfect partner, but she can find a good enough one who will try their best to be better. And finally, because of all her sexual problems with men and her narrow views on exploring her sexuality, Ava offers Deborah a chance to explore something she’s long not given herself the opportunity to do. Which in turns, her falling for Ava would challenge her internalized homophobia in a really substantial way where the consequences would be felt personally. If Deb can’t figure out her lesbophobia and compulsory heterosexuality, then she potentially loses out on a great relationship. 

I’m not confident anymore this is the case because season 2 has taken out a lot of the romantic subtext of the first season, but all the pieces they set up still make sense even if they choose not to follow them. 

Again, maybe all my concerns about Deborah’s sexuality could be answered. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of this. They’ve set up a lot of interesting pieces. What I’m not clear on is what solution they’re presenting Deborah with. Especially something that makes ALL the pieces fit together. 

#hacks hbo #hbo hacks #hacks thoughts #hacks #deborah vance