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tenrose · 1 year

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Ok, so I finished first book and tbh I started as a joke but I'm probably gonna end up being addicted lmao

Now I have to keep in mind that I wanted to read this when I was like 12 but I am now 30 (what a leap in time 😬) so obviously I'm not reading with the same eyes. I know for sure that 12yo me would have been obsessed with it, I love the idea of kids turning into animals and I would have made scenarios and possibly fanfictions with shit tons of OCs (even tho back then I didn't even know the word fanfic but that had never stopped me lmao).

Now as an adult I obviously find the book jumping too quickly into action and being too condensed but keeping in mind that it is for teens, it does make sense. Now, I have to tell that all those months I have been chasing after the absolute bliss I felt reading when I was young, and overall being nostalgic of my teens (even tho it was in fact shit years djzjzj) and I found in these books what I loved about fiction back then and that we kind of lost along the way with YA literature today. Now I don't read that much YA anymore, I think the last one I read was Cruel Prince and I hated it (some might say it's not YA but to me it kind of is YA). Tbh basically since Six of Crows I never loved any YA books after, I think. And I don't even like the world YA anymore because it has been turned into like fantasy or science fiction with romance and like no that's not it just call them SFF romances books and move along with it. But also sometimes they call YA a fantasy book just because it has romance in it and honestly WTF is wrong them. Anyway I'm completely derailing from the initial topic sorry.

So as I was saying, it is for teens and adults can read teen books if they want and that's fine and let's stop trying to invent new terms for marketing purposes every two days. Also it always funny and interesting seeing librarians and booksellers having discussion where to put a certain book because it means the said book is interesting.

And ofc we shouldn't expect some things -such has heavy descriptions- from books targeted at teens. And I'm not expecting them. Yes it goes fast, yes it's short sentences with a lot of dialogues etc. Etc. But that's normal for kid fiction.

Now what I really love and that I know is gonna be the reason why I love the books despite all of this is that it has exactly what my nostalgic brain seek for: a bunch of kids teaming together to beat some evil. I'm a sucker for a family of kids/teens/adults/misfits whatever. It's just my favourite trope in the world. And I will take it over romance any day. Not that I hate romance, but I prefer having the plot over the romance and the romance being just like one of the many relationships characters experience (now you know why I'm not into YA as it has basically turned into romance with minimalist fantasy world building and then a plot nowadays). Obviously there are many counterexamples of books focused on romance that I love, the most recent being This How You Lose the Time War but if you've read it... You know the writing and the type of narrative is the reason why it is an adult romance book, bye. But other than this examples it's not what I seek when I picking a book targeted at younger audience, and it's absolutely not what I seek when reading nostalgic 90s 00s stories. Because that's not what they were about. HDM was not about romance even they have some, HP wasn't about romance either, Ewilan wasn't about romance either and so weren't pretty much all teen books we had at the time. But they did have romance at some point and that's completely different. Like I expect Animorphs to have romantic drama at some point and that's fine with me. But keeping in mind that is not for adult, it kind of make sense that friendship, family are very important topics in these books. Like it is what most teens live. Or maybe teens don't live like this anymore, idk? But for me it was I lived, and romantic relationships came afterwards (or not at all dhjdje) but basically most of us we were just discovering it at that time. However the absolute drama we had over the 'you are not my bestie anymore', complaining about our family and stuff, that was big. And being in group of friends is what most of us were looking for back then. I mean having no friends was way more worse than not having a bf or gf, at least it was for me.

So yes I love the kids friendships over the rest. And I love that the books depicts them as kids, they react and act like kids and it's great and I hope teens today still can find these kind of stories. I already got attached to these kids and they have already distinctive personalities and stories so I can't wait to see the different POVs. Can't wait to see them have big ass dramas and feud against each other and suffering because, well, I love angst. I can already see that trauma is gonna be an important part of the story and some seems to have pretty fucked up families and that's topic I love to read about too.

And tbh kids turning into animals has the same vibes for me that when I've first read HDM with people having their soul visible has animals. Idk, there is something inherently adventurous and fun with the combo kids + animals. Or maybe I just love animals, we don't know. This come from someone whose very first original story was about a dude crossing a cursed cave with his cheetah lmao.

But yes, so far I liked it, the writing was according to its audience, the story is very kids story. And I think it's gonna have a decent world building. And I can tell that characters development are going to happen hand in hand with the plot and I like it. I just however found out that some books are ghostwritten and I am a bit wary of it but I'm far from being there to worry about it now anyway. This first book was an exposition so I kinda understand why it is a bit fast. The narrative being fast, I know they are all short books. Tbh if I'm reading all of them in one go I won't even be able to tell all books apart so it won't matter that much anyway.

Watch me falling for the late 90s early 00s nostalgia trick. I mean it's funny when you think about it, because I have been allergic to all these reboots of our generations or older because I can see from trailers only how polished they are. Like I do expect some stuff to be outdated and not exactly extremely progressive happening in the books, but also I am an adult so I can totally have the necessary distance to both appreciate something and be aware of its wrong.

#animorphs #so it was longer than expected #and mostly off topic sorry #misc

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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4/27/23

Okay so... I got to bed at around 2:30. And I struggled to get to sleep pretty bad. Like, tossing and turning and not able to actually fall asleep. I got there eventually, but was woken up by the sound of some really loud appliance, I still have no idea what it was or where it was coming from. This sound was at 5:50 AM. And I was supposed to be up for my apartment inspection at 9. I had an alarm set and everything.

I laid there for - no exaggeration - 2.5 hours trying to fall asleep again. No phone, no apps, just laying in bed with my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep. Doing breathing exercises, doing body relaxation techniques, visualization techniques, you name it. Everything I've learned over like 15 years of studying sleep hygiene techniques. And I just gave up and got up at like 8:30.

The guy showed up for the inspection at like 9:30, it was super quick, just an electrical inspection or something. He even gave me compliments about how clean my place was, which blew my mind. I started on a new abstract drawing, I'm gonna work on it more and I'll post it when it's done.

I went to take a nap around... fuck man, I don't even know. The whole day has been a huge blur, unfortunately. Temporally, at least. I put in the earbuds and put on some binaural beat thing for a 90 minute nap and... same problem. I "forgot" how to fall asleep. I've gotten this before, and it's like... it's a fucking torturous feeling. Being absolutely utterly exhausted... and not being able to fall asleep. And not knowing why, not knowing what you're doing wrong.

I napped successfully, though, and had some of the most intense dreams I've had in a long fuckin time. It was surreally like... norse-age, with these weird mutated people that were cutting off a water supply or something? I have no clue and that probably sounds ridiculous, but this dream was legit one of the most vivid I've had in ages. The colors, the sounds, the imagery; so memorable. I might try fucking with that binaural stuff to see if I can amplify how vivid my dreams get. You know... intentionally... like when I want it to happen.

I woke up at like... 2, I think? My car reservation was at 1, but was until 5. I made sure to book a big window just in case something like this happened, I just didn't expect it to be... like 4 hours of sleep total.

And I looked up like... more sleep techniques and the shit I was doing was literally what they train for people in the military who need to sleep while sitting up and shit. And it didn't fucking work. And it said on there, this might not work with people who have ADHD and/or anxiety issues. Welp, there ya go...

I showered and said fuck it and went. The walk to the car alone had my shins fuckin throbbing. I speed-walk a bit too much when I walk around the city, I'm just... 1). not used to urban environments and they still make me feel unsafe, and 2). not used to walking in shoes, tbh.

But that was remedied (and reminded, which is why I even noticed the speed-walking) by finally getting back into nature.

A quick stop at Walgreens first, to get the steroid cream the doctor prescribed me... a month ago... And they had to redo it, because of how long it took me to get there. XD So I sat there nodding off for like... 20 minutes...

But then I went to the park. And I got to hike barefoot again, and it was such an at-home feeling. I was out there until like 6. I think it was a total of about 3 miles of walking? I explored a bunch, they had some cool constructions like staircases and bridges and shit, very well-made stuff. There was even a beach right on the lake, it was very pretty and peaceful. I found some rocks that I brought home, I'm going to try to clean them up and see how they come out. There was a decent amount of sandstone there, which is actually pretty cool because it's super soft, so it's easy to carve. I'm going to see what working with it is like and then go from there, if I feel like trying to source more. It's cool how different the types of stone are around here.

For real, just being out in the woods alone, no music, no distractions, just me and nature, bare feet on the ground, wind on the skin, it was great. I missed it a lot. It's like... the polar opposite of how I feel when I'm in the city... XD

Driving wasn't as nerve-wracking as I thought. It was fine. Got the car back half an hour early, ordered a pizza. The car did cost a total of $50 for it being mine from 1-7... (I added 2 hours and I'm glad I did) which is like... ugh... But when you consider I never actually drive anywhere and compare that to buying a car, or paying lease payments? It ain't bad, especially when I don't even pay for gas.

So yeah, those earplugs I ordered were delivered this afternoon. Talk about fucking timing... -_- I'm gonna try them tonight. Like I said a few nights ago, I don't have to listen out for pets anymore, so... fuck it. Hope they work for me, I think if I can sleep with AirPods in, I should be able to sleep with earplugs in okay.

Definitely bed time. I can barely keep my eyes open.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

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I decided to give I Am Not Starfire a chance and... frankly I personally didn't like it that much. I don't hate it, but I'm also probably never going to reread it. I'm going to make this semi-review/reaction as fair as I can. Also these are just my opinions, so if you disagree with them just take them with a grain of salt and move on.

So one red flag that DID get obliterated was Mandy's last name being Koriand'r. It's, thankfully, just Anders. Not sure if this was changed mid production due to backlash or if the ad makers just screwed it up, but whatever.

Just 11 pages in (4 of which are the cover and credits) Mandy is already slutshaming her own mother for the way she dresses. /sarcasm/ Great way to get you to like the character. /sarcasm/

Starfire has an absolutely hideously drawn thigh gap in her introduction page.

Just about the only thing the comic does right in depicting teenagers is Mandy and her friend Lincoln, who both seem dedicated to being edgelords, incorrectly labeling themselves anarchists despite being the typical anti-establishment type teen. I knew and do know a lot of teens who act like this. Any other attempts to write teens here are, frankly, cringe worthy.

This Starfire is clearly based on her 2003 counterpart, which seems odd because this book is marketed towards teens, and that show aired and ended in 2006. For context, I'm 24 now, and that show would have ended when I was about 9. I'm just barely a Gen z. Most people who are actually teens right now would primarily associate this Starfire's characterization with the TT Go! spinoff... which I believe has the target audience of 4-7 year olds. It just seems like a weird decision to not go with her comic personality in this context.

The narrative very directly tries to compare the conflict between Star and Mandy as being similar to that of immigrant parents and their children... which I guess is there, but the story itself doesn't do much with that premise. Unfortunate, as I feel more focus on that could have actually made the story interesting.

Mandy is an extremely toxic person, as she's one of those "I'm not like other girls" characters, and that makes her very hard for me to sympathize with.

I've seen defenders go "Of course she's toxic she's a teenager" but like... the narrative clearly wants us to sympathize with her, but her behaviour at certain points makes that extremely difficult. She's mean to literally everyone other than Lincoln, often for no reason whatsoever.

Just about the only thing that I'm able to sympathize with her is some of her classmates harassing her about the Titans, and the fat phobic comments she gets. However, that can only justify her behaviour to a certain extent.

The sad thing is I WANT to like Mandy, as it's rare to get fat lesbians (or fat wlw in general) in media but she's just so... ugh, at points. She's also fairly generic in terms of female YA protagonists. I feel like I've seen her a million times, with the only difference being she's not straight.

Her completely blowing up over a selfie that Claire took is stupid. She doesn't even bother to explain why it upsets her, she just yells at this poor girl and storms off. Claire is then the one to be made to apologize, despite Mandy's blatant over reaction and unwillingness to communicate.

The way the story uses Gen z stereotypes to try to relate to its audience is the kind of thing I found extremely cringy when I was teenager. Judging from some reviews I've read written by actual teens, the feeling seems to be present here for the target audience to at least some extent.

(Think how 90s cartoons and teen sitcoms had an overabundance of skateboarding and rap to try and be "cool with the kids." Yeah, it's like that but with social media and boba tea).

"It's not fun, it's hamlet" is an actually legitimately funny line imo.

Also her bird is cute.

I like Claire's fruit backpack.

Honestly, one of the only genuinly positive things I can say about this is that I like the overall art style.

For some reason Blackfire decides to attempt to kill Kori and Mandy at her school instead of taking them to Tamaran? Petty queen, ig.

Blackfire is extremely underutilized. She spends the majority of the comic spying on Mandy before the big fight.

Mandy, at the very least acknowledges she was a shitty daughter towards the end, and seems to be making attempts to be less so in the epilogue.

Her new superhero costume is lame tbh. It's just typical goth clothes with bracelets and a tiara.

Still kind of annoyed that Claire had to apologize over a selfie and that Mandy's over reaction wasn't really called out.

Other than the selfie thing, Mandy's crush on Claire is cute.

So basically, not nearly as terrible as I was worried it was going to be, but it's otherwise pretty standard YA that doesn't do much new aside from being connected with DC Comics. If you're into that kind of thing, it'll be a pretty standard read but otherwise not super remarkable imo.

Side Note: Raven is pretty in this.

Also, she and Gar snuggling is cute.

ALSO, absolutely obsessed with this image of Gar.

What the dog doing?

#i am not starfire #mandy anders #kori anders #koriand'r #kory anders #starfire #raven #rachel roth #gar logan #garfield logan #beast boy #changeling #victor stone #cyborg #dick grayson #nightwing #komand'r #blackfire

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

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OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

#sho — 💍#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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doodle-dog-diary · 3 years

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Saltober DAY NINE: Hobby

Original post here

Technically this is a hobby that is my own but yeah couldn't think of anything else to write about

(Warning: please do not talk to me about Yarichin Bitch Club. Do not play the YBC opening song anywhere near me. I WILL rip your throat out in a very unsexy way.)

Psst.

Come closer. Closer. Yes, that's it. I have a secret to tell you (tbh it's not so much a secret as just something I don't usually go around telling people, but I digress)

I read yaoi.

No, I didn't just go through a phase when I was like 13, I read yaoi as in, I'm still doing it now. Present tense and all. NO NO PUT DOWN THAT PITCHFORK I CAN EXPLAIN

I think I must have started when I was 13, maybe 14? When a self-proclaimed-fujoshi friend of mine introduced me to it. (I feel like back then every female friend I had was either already familiar with yaoi, or into yaoi. I don't know why, it feels like yaoi was like, an integral part of the Teenage Girl Experience)

I then discovered the amazing world of free manga reader sites, and no one could stop me from then on (except maybe almost getting caught once, but still). In those early days I started out only reading yaoi that was recommended on rec lists, in an effort to filter out the icky weird toxic bullshit (It didn't always work. Remember that opinions are subjective, and sometimes someone's memories of a thing may be tinted with nostalgia). I then learnt how to judge books by their cover with some degree of success (you can tell which works are more recent based on the art style. More recent stuff is less likely to have problematic elements, like abuse and rape being portrayed as romantic)

Ok, I know how this sounds, before you say something like, "but Doodle! That sounds like a lot of trouble! Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just, you know, read something from another genre?" I will say that yaoi, just like literally every other genre of fiction in existence, adheres to Sturgeon's law (90% of everything is crap), so it's not like I have significantly higher chances of finding something that is not crap with any other genre. I would know, every time I went to the library and picked out a YA novel (the sort geared towards teen girls) 9 times out of 10 it would be the same old "boring brunnette protagonist who insists that she's ugly even though she's not has two angsty hot dudes chasing after her, everyone looks like a model, also magic and werewolves" bullshit. So yeah, I'd rather take my chances with yaoi, because…

…Second, I…like pretty boys. YES I KNOW I'M AROACE THAT DON'T MEAN I'M BLIND,…also I'm a degenerate weeb, I just like looking at pretty anime boys, what can I say

Third, I've adapted. I've learnt to embrace that So Bad It's Basically Psychological Horror Yaoi lifestyle. I mean, if you can't escape it, you might as well just embrace it, you know?

Listen, man, reading bad yaoi may be an acquired taste but is an EXPERIENCE. Especially yaoi from like, Ye Olden Days. Those are a whole different level of fucked up. I could pick some random yaoi that looks pretty old, and the title would always be something that's really cute and cheesy, like, "doki doki first kiss" or something like that, and the mc experiences violent sexual assault within the very first chapter, without fail, every single time. That shit really fucks you up, man.

Also, I LOVE how yaoi mangaka will go, "you know what would be real fucked up?" and then go and draw a whole ass comic about shit that's fucked up. But potray it in a sexy way.

(Seriously. I just read one where it's like a collection of short stories, and in one there's a guy who's a literal pedophile. Like seriously. His friend asks him "what kind of girls are you into" and he deadass stares at a group of elementary school kids and says "you wouldn't get it" like no joke for real goddamn. Same guy goes and molests his little twink classmate not two pages later. The whole thing is portrayed as a cutesy high school romance)

Before I end this, word of advice, it's something I learned from my yaoi rec list days, some people will say shit like, "oh, go give Junjou Romantica a try…go read Sekaiichi Hatsukoi…trust me it's good…really the most wholesome romance story in yaoi history…" THOSE PEOPLE ARE LYING. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. I WATCHED JUNJOU ROMANTICA WHEN I WAS MAYBE 14 AND IT SCARRED ME FOR LIFE. SERIOUSLY DO NOT DO IT I AM 100% SERIOUS I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND JUST DON'T DO IT

#long post #cw rape #cw abuse #i feel like i have a lot more to say but yeah #oh boy i hope i dont get cancelled for this #feel like ppl gonna call me fujoshi like its a slur #oh well #im just gonna go sleep #saltober 2021 #saltober #the short story collection mentioned here is nise x koi boyfriend in case youre wondering #yea see i told you the title would be cute #cw yaoi

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tinkdw · 6 years

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How... do you personally read Cas? I mean, the glasses do make sense in a way, since he does have a penchant for learning (then and even now, like he's in on the journey alongside his ward Jack). But I don't know if glasses do the overall picture justice...

IDK how to keep it short tbh, I could write whole essays on how I read Cas ;)

I just think it’s interesting how people pick up on different things. Eg. I just don’t read Cas as some unknowing, hesitant, unconfident, crying ball of nonsense. Like,

Have ya MET Cas?

He’s a confident bucket of sass who’s canonically watched humanity for eons. Sure of course his story is that for years he lost that confidence due to the situation he’s found himself in but his endgame is to gain that back you know? His PERSONALITY hasn’t changed, who he is deep down hasn’t changed, he’s not some blubbering wreck of a dude with no clue about the world and a need to be rocked to sleep whilst being sung a lullaby cos he’s oh so friggin delicate. He just didn’t know about pop culture (he does now) or have personal practice in things like eating and sex (he does now) so like… I struggle to understand the concept of this snivelling wreck in fics sometimes (and weak, don’t even get me started on physically weak, pale, pasty Cas, URGH have you met Misha or heard how much everyone in the show goes on about how HOT he is all the time?!). Even in the show when he was at his most depressed and suicidal he wasn’t pathetic.

So yeah, I think everyone can read him how they like, I just personally don’t see any reason in canon to read him like that, once he’s who he truly is, without the self doubt etc (and that’s how I read all of them, who they truly are beneath all the crap that they are going through, like I don’t read Sam as being happy in Dean’s shadow or Dean happy in the closet you know?).

So yeah, back to the topic of glasses, I do see why people read him as a bookworm, hell I do too, but not just this. Sometimes I read / see the idea that he’s just a bookworm who waits at home while the boys go out to hunt and literally just reads lore until Dean comes home and makes him dinner. Jesus. He’s also a brilliant fighter and strategist, he’s even a little vain, he’s someone who loves PB&J and watching nature and civilisation documentaries while stuffing his face with toffee popcorn who then can turn it off and spend 3 hours taking his boyfriend apart with his tongue and enjoy the hell out of all of it equally (well not equally but you know what I mean :p).

IDK, like, his whole humanity arc purposefully showed us that he’s not just interested in learning and serious things. That was kinda the whole point of his humanity arc, it’s exposition of what he wants, what his endgame is. Even if you don’t adhere to the human!cas endgame it still showed us what he wants overall - peace, a sense of purpose, a home, family etc. Basing a reading of the character on how he is when he’s depressed / repressed is kind of missing the point. It’s like omitting Sam’s character from s1-3 (eg. his wacky fashion sense, self confidence, the kind of women he was interested in etc) and all the moments we see beneath Dean’s facade eg. how he enjoys cake as well as pie, loved riding Larry, all the bi meta, Taylor Swift, the confessional scene, the list goes on. For Cas so much of this is in the snippets where he is doing something for himself or something he truly believes in, basically when he’s not doing what he perceives as duty ie. when he’s human was the biggest exposition but also his sass towards Lucifer who he gives zero shits about, his sass towards Dean who he’s comfortable with being himself around eg. 12x10 and clearly for me his exposition that he never wanted to take his grace back but did it due to his sense of duty to save Sam and Heaven.

He’s so multifaceted and you have to really look beyond the surface level to read him as 90% of the time we see him on screen he’s doing what he thinks he should do, not what he wants to do. You have to find the times when he’s truly being himself and base your character reading on that.

So yeah, different readings are all totally valid I just personally read him as a very well rounded, complex character who loves to read a book sure and glasses, why the hell not?! and get stuck into a deep conversation with Sam about the inner workings of the human psyche but also would totally argue with Dean and Charlie for hours about how Legolas is a far cooler than Gimli and Aragorn and Arwen are the best romance couple of all time and it’s a travesty how it ends but he read a brilliant fanfic where it all got fixed so they lived happily ever after and he far prefers that version :P

#cas winchester #imo #castiel #human!cas #for blacklisting #Anonymous

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