#what even am I doing I don't go here

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

#my art #my writing #who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life) #i dont know what this even is #i just work here #disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like. #most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis #so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps #i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction #if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this #ultrakill #v1 ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #blood #love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[front-facing-pokemon]

#baltoy #now okay let's just get the elephant outta the room. baltoy? what does this mean. is it a toy that happens to be a ball. because that's how #i've parsed it my whole life. and i've always not understood it because this thing is a top and not a ball #it's also what like. ground/psychic?? i think that's cool but it's just. like what's it got going for it. i forget it exists regularly and #don't even know if it has an evolution to make it competitively viable #where's that one person who said they were gonna do competitive facts on every post and then only did it on one. i miss them #whatever folks have things to do. not everyone has the time to dedicate to a silly little tumblr blog like i do. so here i am #telling you nothing about baltoy. go girl give us nothing. i am giving you nothing

[egophiliac]

so we know you love diasomnia endlessly, but who is your favorite character from each of the other dorms

this is SO hard to answer, because so many of the characters are, like, those pet adoption ads that say "MUST STAY TOGETHER, CANNOT BE SEPARATED". it's all about the relationship dynamics! and I think everybody in the main cast is pretty neat, honestly; there isn't anyone who doesn't have something I really like about them. but if I haaaaad to choose...

Hearts - Trey, partly because I do like me a good Mom Friend™ character, and partly because he pretends like he's all sane and normal, right up until he does something to prove he's just as much of a dipshit as everyone else. you're not immune, sir.

Savana - BUFF 👏 TSUNDERE 👏 WEREWOLF 👏

Octa - this one took a lot of soul-searching, because I do feel like the Octatrio is at their very best when it's all three of them, especially when they're in full Ed Edd n Eddy mode. but in the end, Jade ekes out a win, because sometimes you get this Jade:

and then when he gets back from his nice mushroom-foraging hike, you get this Jade:

Scara - Kalim, my sweet little moron. such a good heart, so few braincells.

Pome - 90% of the time when Rook shows up, you know it's going to a be fun time watching a silly little man dance around and break into song for no reason and wax poetic about the beauty of, like, a chair. always a delight!

except every once in a while, he'll bust out something that is absolutely insane even by Twst standards:

this isn't a complaint, it's just. why is he like this. I want to study him under a microscope, except I'm afraid of what I might find.

Igni - MUST STAY TOGETHER! CANNOT BE SEPARATED! ...but I would probably go with Ortho, just because right now I'm pretty invested in his Learning Emotions story arc and looking forward to seeing it progress. he's a good boy who will post your cringe fanfic publicly if you annoy him

...and at this point I'm calling technicality because the ask says "other dorms", and I genuinely do not think I could choose between the Dia boys at this point. let's see how episode 7 goes first!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 6 spoilers #long post #obligatory disclaimer that this is my own personal opinion et cetera #what it comes down to is that i'm going to love EVERYBODY and you can't stop me! #it REALLY is all about the dynamics though #i don't talk about them as much but i really do love the riddle-trey-cater and riddle-trey-che'nya friendships especially #and i KNOW i've talked about idia and lilia being unintentional bffs before #and i'm going to stop here before i just start listing off every possible character interaction and why i like it #what up it's a day ending in y which means i got feelings about anime characters again #sorry this is somehow even less coherent than usual #i was like 'i'll do a couple of drawings for this' and then looked up and it was 4 am somehow #this keeps happening dagnabbit

[sergle]

I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon

#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays #if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone #because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page #but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source #because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it #and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but #on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway #someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those #if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link #to my etsy #I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside #like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth #like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back #or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info #about what the art is and who made it and their links #I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful #and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited #but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue #reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing #as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen! #that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB #A JOB!!!!!!!!!! #sergle.txt #I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark

[uncanny-tranny]

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #trans meme #described images #image description in alt #this goes for ANY reason a trans person is on the 'wrong' hormones for their gender... #...whether it is by chance or choice it need not be excluded. there are no 'right' hormones for your gender or experience... #...if you're a trans person who is fine with your body's natural hormone levels that's FINE... #...or if you're a trans person who chose to take the 'wrong' hormones (again there's no wrong hormone)... #...or if you're just fucking EXISTING... #...you belong here. even if there are commonalities between trans people amd what hormones they do or don't take that's just a commonality. #...that by NO MEANS indicates that you must adhere one way or the other if you so choose... #...two things can exist at once: 1) hormones are a necessity and 2) people are allowed to go on whatever hormone they want #my testosterone is a NECESSITY it isn't something i can choose to take. but that doesn't mean that i am threatened by trans people... #...who exist how they do

[triaelf9]

hey folks who interact with creative works online! just a tiny PSA

If you don't like a character, that's totally fine! If you have a different reading of a situation in a show & have issues with stuff that's going on, that's also fine.

What is NOT fine is to ACTIVELY SEEK OUT fans of the characters you don't like and talk shit about them, the characters they have feelings about, or the content they've posted b/c you, Freddy McHatesalot really needs to tell everyone how much you dislike a...fictional character.

You are totally welcome to consume content in your own space in whatever way you see fit. It is disrespectful of the fandom space to try to drag other people into your space and interact with you if they don't want to. And dunking on a character in writings or art of them is fucking rude as hell to the person who put work into into the creation they made out of some feelings they were having.

Also. side note, it is possible to enjoy a character who is Wrong About Some Things or Isn't Doing The Right Stuff In The Right Situation. Sometimes it's possible to like a character and disagree with them, and shitting on people b/c you can't see what they see in a character is pretty trash garbage and is 90% of why I just make silly little art for me and my own silly feels and hope folks get a chuckle or some enjoyment out of it too.

#Behave better #and if you can't behave yourself I'm not going to play into your little hate roleplay #you can do that elsewhere while I enjoy the nuance in my media thankss #don't pull me or my work into your weird vendetta against fictional characters #I draw art for me and for anyone who is feeling like I am #to jump in and be like “this person is the shittiest & I hate them” on that creation is ummmmm #why I don't interact with fandom like I used to #b/c if people can't control themselves it spoils the whole pot #I don't like some characters and stories and ships #does anyone here who isn't a close friend of me irl even know what they are? #no b/c I don't find that worthwhile to spend my time doing #I don't fill my page with hate for fictional characters. I post what I enjoy and share it to put more joy out there in the world #sorry this is so long #I'm just fucking pissed b/c I thought we were past this bad behavior #and I'm too old too tired too busy and too stressed to have to put up with this shit. Grow up.

[jesuis-snips]

LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.

TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.

LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.

TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.

LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.

TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.

LIES: Israel is the victim.

TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.

#free palestine #palestine #and here we are seeing hypocrite peoples posts and how Palestinians are wrong and terrorists #do you even know what you are talking about do you even know the history of these lands #i am sure that you don't bc if you did you wouldn't even dare to open your dirty mouth #it is very tragic how the whole world was playin 3 monkeys when israel was attacking and bombing and killing and raping Palestinians #none of you gave a shit #none of you said a word #ever since i know myself there was pain and blood and tears in Palestine #and the couse was always isarael #ever since i was a kid i protested israel in meetings and press briefings #i have seen the pain of my muslim sisters and brothers i have heard their screams for help #and now this shameless people coming here and saying Palestinians are wrong and they should have picked a more peaceful methods #hah don't make me laugh #what peace are you talking about #whose peace would be a better question actually #why is it okay when muslims are hurting and wrong when others are???? #there is hell for israel #it is the only place they can go after all #the bottom of the hell

[generalsmemories]

every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.

#narus' corner #SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY #AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE #ion think u understand #maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly #YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT #THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK. #u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it #because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I #LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa #IMMA AAAH #eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE #when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan #because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?! #and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing #ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR #OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?! #and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on #imma just. #imma shut up LMFAO

[bellepark]

Jeff Satur | The Guitar Mag Awards

#jeff satur #jeffsaturedit #kinnporsche #kinnporsche cast #esmetracks #juultag #tosnimeat #userpharawee #lextag #tusersilence #tuserchlo #user111 #kinnporschesource #userkimchi #ninisdarlings #i told myself i don't need to do this but i couldn't help myself so here i am again #he looks like a vampire he looks like an anime character istg i don't even know whats going on anymore #kpts #belleparkgif

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Fluff and gay rarepair are currently drawing. So I tried to write the fluff, with the idea I could finish it, watch some videos, then maybe crack at gay after stuff ends. I think this isn't actually fluff, but /I/ think its cute, and its soft, even if it is a bit hurt/comfort for what I meant by fluff.

Philza finds Missa asleep in the ram pen.

Philza wakes up, and he isn't sure what is wrong. His eggs are asleep, the doors are all locked, and dawn is still far away. Still, he swears he heard something. It's not from above - people still use his warp and garden too often to be bothered by noise from above - and that settles dread into Philza's spine.

He slips out of bed, bothering with shoes and scythe but not changing out of his pyjamas, and stats looking. It's probably a water pipe, he tells himself; he will not settle until he checks.

Chayanne's room and the kitchen are checked first, but nothing unusual is in either. Philza puts the plates from the night before away, then keeps looking.

Tallulah's garden is, too, empty of oddities.

Philza is about the chalk it up to nothing, when he remembers the aquarium beneath his feet. Instantly annoyed he breaks a piece of the floor, and drops down.

He fixes up the hole - he can just warp out after all - and looks around. The change isn't immediately apparent, but after he checks behind the animal pen… his heart breaks.

"Missa?" He whispers at the man - his husband - asleep among the animals. "Why are you sleeping down here?"

Missa sleeps on, oblivious to the question. Philza looks, and hesitates, then sees the ram try nibble Missa's hood and makes his descision.

He can hate him in the morning if he's wrong.

Carefully, he reaches down. One arm goes behind Missa's back, and the other tucks under his legs. His husband stirs with a quiet groan, and Philza gently hushes him.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers. "I'm just bringing you to bed."

His words have the opposite effect; Missa eyes slowly blink open, head turning to find him. "Phil…?"

"Hi Missa," he abandons his plan, and kneels next to the setee instead. "What were you sleeping down here for? Our bed is upstairs, silly."

Missa blinks at him, tears welling up. Philza reaches out and smooths then away, brushing Missa's hair from his eyes too.

"What are the tears for? My face isn't that bad, surely?"

"No," Missa whispers, and then his voice picks up. "No, no, no, its a good face! A very good face."

"Then why are you crying, king?"

Missa shakes his head; Philza reaches out, offering a hug. The shaking and tears both get harder.

"Missa?" Philza is worried now, genuinely worried. "Missa, what's wrong?"

"I don't deserve it," Missa sobs - in Spanish now, and Philza glances to his translator for support. "I don't deserve you, I'm a bad husband, I'm a worse dad, please, I'm so sorry-"

"Shhh," Philza continues to brush his hair. "You're not, you're not. You have to travel for work, that's all - plenty of parents have to. I don't blame you. Chayanne adores you. You're a good husband, I promise, there's no one I'd rather raise my eggs with."

"But-"

Philza waits, but Missa does not continue, just sobbing into a ball.

"I should have thought and asked Roier to keep up Chayanne's Spanish once your trip back was delayed," Philza says. "These things just happen with kids, it's not your fault, he's not hurt, he's safe and he's happy."

"Philza," Missa sobs. "Philza! Stop it! I… I know I did bad, you shouldn't comfort the terrible."

It's maybe too late, too emotional, too tired for that conversation. Philza instead reaches over, pulling Missa into a hug. It hurts, it hurts to see what words have done to his dear egg-partner. "You're not terrible," he promises. "You're not, you're not - come upstairs with me; some sleep will make things better."

The sobbing lasts a bit longer, before with a sniffle Missa manages to stutter out "really?"

"Really," Philza replies. "I want you in my bed, and the eggs want you with them. We've been waiting for you."

"For me?"

"For you."

Philza leans forwards, tapping his forehead to Missa's mask. There's another hiccupping sob and then Missa throws himself into Philza's arms more fully.

He is of course caught, and held as he cries.

"You're so good, king," Philza promises. "Phil e Missa, Phil e Missa - its still our house; I built it for you."

There is no answer, but eventually Missa's tears slow. Philza backs slightly away, just enough to grab a tissue and let Missa dry his eyes.

"… You mean it?" Missa asks.

Philza does his very best not to laugh, and nearly succeeds, "yes, king, I do. We want you here, I promise."

Despite the tearstains, Missa's face lights up in a hesitant but true smile. Philza sniles back, pressing a thumb to Missa's cheek and touching their foreheads again.

"So… will you come to bed?" He asks.

"Okay," Missa whisoers. "Okay, I- I-"

"Will get some sleep, and in the morning Chayanne and I will make you breakfast, and we're going to spoil you for a little while, okay?"

"I- I don't need that, just a bed, just a bed somewhere close to you!"

"Well, we have a double upstairs, and its a shame not to use it," he presses Missa's hand to the warpstone. "You remember where to go?"

Missa pulls out his warpstone, and allows it to pull him back atop the wall. Philxa follows a second later.

Above the door, the sign Missa wrote still hangs. Philza looks at it, then turns to see Missa doing the same.

"I missed you too," he finally replies to the message.

Missa whimpers, but smiles, "I missed you more."

"Bet?" Philza asks, even as he pulls him inside.

There's barely space in their house, a tiny place made for an egg and repurposed for his parents. The double bed is squashed tightly between the walls, and they both have to scramble to get onto it. By the time they are under the covers the pair are already a mess of limbs, one that only grows messier as Missa hesitantly gestures for a hug and Philza willingly provides.

/I love you/ Philza thinks, but cannot bring himself to say - not when the love he offers isn't the sort people ever want. /You are home and my home, you are family, you are mine; I love you./

Missa doesn't say anything either, having never entirely woken up; as soon as his head touches the pillow, he is asleep again.

"Goodnight," Philza says instead.

Then he huddles himself closer, and feels the warmth of his husband, and knows that shit though the island might be, here intertwinned is the best place he's ever been.

---

In the morning, Tallulah wakes up. Papi is no longer in his bed - she grabs Chayanne, shaking him hard. He wakes with a groan, and panics just the same. Together they search, getting more and more worried.

They're about to go get Tio Tubbo to help find him, when Chayanne remembers the house upstairs. They scurry up and across the ladder, and find the blinds closed for once.

They open the door and peer inside, and Chayanne jumps for joy as he sees both his dads inside. He runs and jumps up on the bed, a sleepy Missa grabbing him with one arm and pulling him close before turning back to sleep. Tallulah approaches more gently, scrambling quietly up. Still Philza's arms find her when she wiggles herself beneath the blanket.

Their dad - their dads - are here. It's later than normal, but they snuggle back in and return to sleep in the morning light.

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #they're what qmike would recognise as qpps even if they don't have a term for it themselves #and I will die on this hill #hurt/comfort #here you go enjoy #if I do the other too or not depends on how eepy I am #busy this evening but bored today #chores got postponed to tomorrow

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[greenerteacups]

What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭

So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.

With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.

Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.

But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.

#greenteacup asks #sidebar: I know Minister “of” Magic is an Americanism but mea culpa #Someday I might actually bite it and pay someone to britpick Lionheart but I can't do it now #because I have a ban on editing published fic unless it's finished. Otherwise I'll never get around to writing the actual ending #I have a Process #is it the best process? likely not! but it makes the words go. so here we are. #I also think the fact that JKR is Gen X makes a difference here. careers worked differently in the 80s and 90s than they do now #i.e. we have the gig economy and a lot more mobility and EXPECTATION of mobility in your early life #that means career changes & professional pivots through your 20s and 30s are increasingly normal #and in fact have always been normal — but the image of the 'true' or 'ideal' career has changed #so we look at those careers and go hm. really? none of them changed? #none of them even went to uni? do wizards... just not? #but again. I believe the epilogue was written almost completely without consideration as to what happened between the BOH and then #I really believe that JKR did not know what happened to Harry except a wedding and 3 kids. because that was the whole point #I don't think she even knew what his career was when she wrote that scene #It existed to marry everyone off and do a quick munchkin headcount #because of the understandable temptation as an author to keep your hand on the wheel. but it didn't even matter! #the epilogue changed NOTHING! it was the most useless chapter in the series! I just — GOD #you can absolutely accuse me of being sour grapes about my ships getting nixed. I AM sour grapes. I AM a hater. #AND I have plot/theme/craft reasons for disliking it. #I'm not objective. I just want credit for being a sophisticated hater. my grapes may be sour but they're still artisinal.

[mishkakagehishka]

"We're old moms, we can't wait to stop breastfeeding so we can get [very excited, shrill even] botooooox!!!"

We are never making it out of the patriarchy.

#every time i open instagram i see videos promoting botox for the moment you turn 20 and face lifts and plastic surgery #and skincare regimens that are not care at all but just fifty products to torture your skin (and spend money!!) #the ties between the patriarchy and capitalism that support one another are terrifying. #but not even that . i feel like i'm going insane #how did we in this day and age normalise so much of this shit #what happened to feminism... why am i seeing a man who works as a plastic surgeon #talking about ''when a client walks in and i know EXACTLY what she needs to change so i am able to get her to #sign up for four more procedures asides from the one she came here for ^_^'' i'm going to kill you. #beat you with rocks. do you guys know botox is a bacteria? do you guys know about botulism? #you throw away a can of food because it's slightly dented so you don't die from botulism #but you inject it straight into your forehead because someone told you signs you #lived a long life full of expressing your emotions guilt-free was what made you ugly #the way i see influencers who will call themselves feminists talk about those wrinkle-free straws... don't sleep on your side #don't breathe wrong don't crease your eyebrows don't smile don't cry don't drink from straws #you're all fucking insane. and wrinkles are caused by your skin losing elasticity. you will STILL have wrinkles #if you live long enough that is (<- can you see why it's a blessing?)

[werewolves-are-real]

I keep promising myself that ONE DAY, I will do enough research into 1800s China to write a proper Temeraire fic taking place there. But there's sooooo much I would want to research first. Even if I skimmed over court details as much as possible - which I don't want to do, tbh - it would just feel very shallow. And it's hard to properly flesh out any characters without any understanding of court life, dynamics between different classes... also just, you know, common beliefs? Attitudes? Religious beliefs too, etc etc.

One day! Hopefully. And we just get so little of Mianning (much less the other Chinese characters) it's hard to do them justice :( Doesn't help that no one really wants to tell Laurence or the aviators what they're actually thinking lol.

#I have some small bits from a fic I want to do #basically with confused amnesiac pre-Temeraire Laurence #who saves the prince's life and gets basically adopted into the royal family #then formally adopted when Temeraire hatches #right around the time his memory comes back and he gets to go back to England #hey I'm alive and a prince now here's my dragon #making his introduction to the Corps 100x as wild #and also after China Laurence disapproves SO much of barbaric England dragon-rearing #what do you mean you don't even cook their food?? #Raw meat? Xiang is a prince too thank you #- But I want to do a LOT of stuff in China first and really build the relationship with Mianning as a main character #(and a growing complex dislike of Yongxing who loathes him at first sight) #but also not wholly without reason become missionaries opium etc etc #suspicious amnesia backstory etc #and I can't write any of that properly without! So much research! #I am too lazy for this sigh

[kiwichaeng]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tags @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @fallout-mars @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad <33

“Are you going to hover over me the entire night? Am I going to find you looking down at me at 3 am?” Carlos’ tone is light as he finishes sits down heavily on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t hide the wince as well as he thinks. TK remains quiet in the corner.  Carlos looks up when he doesn’t get a response. He tilts his head and looks at TK curiously.  “What are you doing all the way over there? I know you don’t need to sleep but I would feel better if you didn’t stare at me from the corner the entire night.” TK knows it’s in good faith, that they’ve come leaps and bounds since they met and if nothing else else, the humour in Carlos’ eyes would give it away but tonight, all TK can do is play back the evening’s event in his mind over and over.  He knows Carlos has noticed it. He had kept on shooting glances at TK the entire time at the hospital as he was being treated to the point where the doctor had asked him if he was looking for someone.   The white bandages peaks out from under Carlos’ collar and TK’s eyes are fixed on them like a moth to a flame.  This is on him, that he got someone as good as Carlos tangled up in his mess. He should never have followed him home, never forced him into helping and should have— He should never have gotten attached.   “I have to go. You should too,” TK murmurs in the quiet room and made for the door. He doesn’t look at Carlos once as he slipped out of the room. “What— TK wait,” He can hear the confusion in Carlos’ voice turn into panic. “Where are you going?”  With a heavy heart, TK ignores the calls and keeps walking straight ahead down the empty hallway.  “TK,” Carlos whispers loudly from behind him but TK doesn’t turn back. It is only when he hears a sharp inhale and a wince does he stop.

open tag and no pressure tags under the cut <3

@liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader @orchidscript @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @paperstorm @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk @ladytessa74 @three-drink-amy @chicgeekgirl89 @theghostofashton @redshirt2

#lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from the tag list <3 #I have been writing in snippets these past few days and I just need to sit down and compile everything as well as fill in the missing blank #also I don't really edit as I go so the snippets I post on here may change a bit in the final draft or even look completely different #What I'm trying to say is that I'm aware they need polishing #anyway! this obviously takes place slightly down the imaginary timeline I keep on fucking around with #also I am in such a writing mood right now but I also have a shit ton of work to do like...gotta suffer now #evie's writing #autopsy fic