#what WOULD cause him effort?

[keets-writing-corner]

personal head canons about lucifer lets GO

idk I feel like compiling personal head canons about him that are canon to me until proven wrong by season 2 LETS GO

All powerful seraphim angel can't be harmed by anything other than those higher ranking than him? This means he can't get poisoned either right? If he can't get poisoned then he also can't get drunk. Like at all. I wanna see an episode where he just outdrinks every person there, surprising everyone cuz he so smol

this also means that meds don't work on him either. Poor dude

He will squeal every time he sees something cute and coo over it, no exceptions (PLEASE I REALLY WANT AN EPISODE WHERE THERES A PHOTO OF BABY CHARLIE AND HE GOES AROUND SHOVING IT IN PEOPLE'S FACES LIKE "LOOK HOW CUTE SHE ISSS")

he and Charlie used to play "trapeze" when she was younger, aka that thing they did together in "More than Anything" cuz clearly she knew what he was going to do, she's been to that pocket dimension before, she's done it a million times

The one that there's technically no official source for but COME ONNNN HE TOTALLY BROUGHT TWO OF CHARLIE'S PLUSHIES TO LIFE AS RAZZLE AND DAZZLE COME ONN HE DID THAT WE KNOW HE DID

He made Lulu World for Charlie. Not just out of love but like, maybe also cuz he felt bad his depression was making him such a bad parent and he wanted to create of monument of his love for her. The fact that everyone else can go there too is just eh

Cuz of my dissociation headcanon for him (the one that the worse his depression got, the harder that it was for him to hear full conversations with his brain bleeping out large chunks of the sentences) Him agreeing to exterminations was entirely an accident

because of his meeting with heaven where he accidentally allowed for exterminations went so horribly because of his mental health, he developed anxiety about meeting with them at all, or just meetings in general. What if he agrees to something else that's terrible?? (He sent Charlie in to meet with Adam right RIGHT, IM NOT READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS I KNOW ITS CUZ HE WAS SCARED OF MEETING WITH HEAVEN AND ACCIDENTALLY MAKING ANOTHER BAD DECISION I KNOW ITS THIS)

part of the reason he was so hesitant to get charlie a meeting with heaven, wasn't just that he was scared for her, but because he was scared of talking to heaven again cuz of that anxiety ^

He knows he's been flubbing his words in addition to missing what people are saying, and he's over compensating hard

As an angel, his default is a Lover. He loved humanity. He loves his wife. He loves his daughter. He will do ANYTHING for the ones he loves, anything. *grabs you by your shirt* ANYTHING like pretty sure it's to an extremely unhealthy degree

I think maybe a huge part of his depression is justly because he's a lover at heart, and he's been living for thousands of years surrounded by the worst of humanity which shattered his ability to love them as he once did. It's not just disappointment and betrayal, it's a loss of a huge part of your identity. So now there's just this great big hole there that's he's desperately trying to fill in with things to love but uhhh his love for charlie and for ducks isn't enough, and he's trying to overcompensate SO HARD

(this one might actually be canon) because he's a lover, this means he's not naturally a violent person. It takes SO MUCH poking and prodding to get him to actually outright attack someone. Niffty literally scaled him like a tree and he just :\ Alastor was pushing all the buttons and Lucifer just toyed around with him for the most part (granted, Mimzy came in right when Alastor was about to get humbled HARD). Lucifer didn't even raise a finger against Adam until he stupidly tried attacking Charlie literally right in front of him

Maybe it's the shitty mental health and thousands of years of suppression, maybe it's cuz hell changed him, but he really enjoyed going ham on Adam. I think it was cathartic as hell for him. He probably had a lot of pent up emotions that he was just wailing out onto Adam

Lilith once tasked Lucifer of keeping an eye on young Charlie while she went out, and he thought it was totally an okay thing to teach an 8 year old how to summon fireworks. Lilith tells him to stick to the trapeze game...

Lucifer and Sera have an intense history and know each other very well. Neither of them like each other

I can't explain it but, Lucifer and Emily have never met, and while this is more of an Emily headcanon, she cannot recognize him on sight. If they ever were to meet, he'd assume she knows who he is, and she doesn't and he'd have to introduce himself and she'd be so HYPE instead of scared and full of questions for him. He'd probably like her

tops men, bottoms with women, granted it seems so far his preference is for women (but I enjoy all the lucifer ships, ngl)

Keekee used to be his pet and he gave her to Charlie when she asked for the "family building" (the hotel)

pretty sure he never wanted to be king, it's just something he got saddled with

shoot I was rereading and I had one more I wanted to put in here but I forgot like .5 seconds after I thought of it. Oh well this list is plenty long anyways

#lucifer morningstar #lucifer #hazbin hotel #head canons #A lot of these show up in my fic now that I think about it #yo I hope we get to see the full extent of his power #all we know is that he wiped the floor with Adam effortlessly #so like then #what WOULD cause him effort? #WHY IS THIS MAN ONLY IN 2.5 EPISODES ITS NOT FAIRRRRR #the .5 is the intro in episode 1 #not counting it as a full episode cuz we only see him in silhouette form and he doesn't speak #PLEASE LET HIM SHOW UP MORE IN SEASON 2 #PLEASE LET SEASON 2 HAVE MORE THAN 8 EPISODESSSS #also if he's living at the hotel #even in episodes he's not featured in #I want to see him doing derranged things in the background so bad

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Does

Does Barnaby

Does Barnaby tell the others to get off his lawn when he's angry

psh, who do you think he is, an old man? he'd Bark, like any lively young dog

#serves them right for (playfully) arguing right outside of his house smh #hes got sensitive ears yall... probably... i wouldnt know... #i bet ya could hear that woof everywhere in the neighborhood #and feel it. its gotta be deep as hell. bass boosted boof #legend has it that a Single Can fell in howdy's store #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #many thoughts about barnaby and barking #id imagine that if asked if he can bark hed be like 'yeah but its a waste of effort / who has the time for That' #i doubt he ever really does it... #cause that would take effort and really when would he be in the mood to be able to do it #its like. i dont get how some people can just let out a real good yell/scream on command #if im not angry enough i Physically Cannot raise my voice in that way. just dont have it in me #and id also think that barnaby has a thick skin. takes a lot to make him That Peeved yk yk #but when he does bark. oof. thats gotta be the loudest shit ever #everyone runs out of their homes like 'what happened??? is there a thunderstorm??? did a fuckin Bomb go off??' #meanwhile barnaby is slamming his door behind him and frank & julie are speedwalking away from his house with ringing ears #thoughts thoughts thoughts Musings

[daily-ethoslab]

my bad for not adding skizz won't happen again

#i didnt forget him I promise I don't know why I left him out #i love zkizz this is a sin I should repent or something #tt #i think its cause I don't have a good design for him and this was a lower effort drawing and i cant just draw him normally #he has to be weird and fucked up u know #and I've drawn him a lot but I didn't want to put in the energy at the moment #same as to why they arnt laughing in this drawing #cause I can't just slap an XD face on them and call it a day cause their poses would look weirdly stiff #then I would have to complicate the poses and I didn't feel like doind that cause I'm lazy #no its cause I spent a lot of my drawing energy earlier and I didn't want to burn out so I cut a few corners #i dont know where the line is sometimes #what's low effort and what's me trying to take it easy #I hope this doesn't come off as me venting I'm trying to reflect haha #anyways silly skizz doodle #this should inspire me to stay up a little later to do a few skizz designs tho #wegh

[omeletttte]

Ya'll should watch the '98 dub

#trigun stampede #trigun dub #trigun #trigun vash the stampede #vash the stampede #the dub is a lot of fun #please validate the effort it took to make this shitpost #it took me an hour #worth it tho #or would he be Pan? cause ya know #... or maybe you don't know #idk what's spoilers and what's not #please watch the dub #i beg you #26 episodes and totally worth it #This boy can fit so much trauma into him *Slaps vash like the car meme*

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

#i wish it was in English #bcs i would be very happy about it #but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing #bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo #how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us #and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills #i shall.. probably just cheat. #LIKE i want to learn german so badly #but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing #why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all #it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic #but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me #again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb #but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content #but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing #like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language #ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest #like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research #<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off #but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB #lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed #and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH #well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it #i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible #but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it #catie.rambling.txt

[mbat]

i really wanted to try and write like, a thing explaining how i think steven universe future is one of the best portrayals (and my personal favorite) of mental illness in media, and how i think people misinterpreted it (me included at first, cause my experience over time has given me new perspectives) but i. AAA i literally dont even know if its necessary cause i dont know if people still think it was bad or a bad way to write steven (it wasnt!!) or like any of that, mostly cause. holy shit its just so obvious to me?

like i watch that show and i relate to him so much that i just understand it all and its so obvious to me and i dont know if other people find it. not obvious. like everything is right there in the text laid out i think

the main thing that i saw get misinterpreted when it aired was the second to last episode where steven turns into a fucking kaiju and everyone, again me included, thought that it felt rushed, but everytime i rewatch it i think... no it wasnt, actually. because we see it expecting a big fight or thinking it needs a whole lot to fix, but it doesnt. its not a fight, its someone having a mental breakdown and thinking theyre purely unlovable and evil, but being made to see that they are still lovable and arent evil even after all the bad theyve done, theyre loved unconditionally, and that other stuff mostly really doesnt matter (and hey, it can be fixed/dealt with later, its fine!)

its just my favorite show ever, specifically future! and i really wish other people would see what i see, but do i even need to try..? i didnt really write it very well anyway, but drafts exist for a reason. idk ive just been thinking about it a lot

TL;DR: i adore steven universe future and im wondering if anyone thinks its even necessary for it to be analyzed for people to maybe better understand it/do you think that there are enough people misunderstanding it that it needs a perspective to maybe help be more understood

#genuinely i relate so deeply to him in future #its such a comfort show to me when im having a bad time cause like #he goes through so much and does so much. but everyone still loves him and he gets a therapist and a happily ever after #and it gives me hope. yknow? #i just keep thinking about athena p saying she didnt like steven universe future and im like. GIRL YOUR OPINIONS ARE USUALLY GOOD WHAT #WHY NOT. WHAT IS THERE TO DISLIKE :[ #steven universe #su #steven universe future #steven quartz universe #steven quartz demayo #su steven #steven universe steven #suf #my post #im mostly asking this cause it would be a lot of effort to finish it #ive got a first draft written but its very long #and im planning on turning it into a youtube video. not just posting a long ass essay on tumblr lol #so it would take me writing a second draft. maybe even more until im satisfied- #then id have to read it all out loud. and then make a drawing for the background video cause i #PHONE ISTG #cause thats just what i have in mind #then id have to edit it all sjfhsjf #its like. i want to. but im so demotivated about it. cause would it even matter #I MEANT FOR THE POLL TO BE LONGER I FORGOT TO CHANGE IT NOOOOO

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Why Kenny is so loved and David is so hated?

This question's been in my inbox forever because I didn't know how to answer it... and I still don't tbh

Kenny's a more established character. We've known him longer, he's has a stronger connection to Lee and Clementine, and the Kenny crowd are ride or die for him. When we first meet him in S1 ep1, we get the impression of a decent family man dedicated to his family, and then he goes through a roller-coaster of tragedy and character development.

David, on the other hand, is only in one game... a game that a lot of fans consider the worst installment in the series. We don't have enough time with him, and even though he has a strong connection to Javi as his older brother, players aren't attached to Javi, they're attached to Clementine. You know how this works- if Clementine no like, then we no like >:[ and Clementine no like David. Therefore, David bad.

And to be fair, she does have legit reasons for not liking him, but that just gives the player all the more reason to dislike him.

So even though I would consider David the "Kenny" of ANF, most people who loved Kenny still labeled David an asshole even though there is an interesting parallel there... which he is an asshole, but he's an interesting asshole... he just wasn't given the proper development like Kenny was.

I've said before that David is a "problematic fave" of mine, and I do hesitate to double down on that just yet. I haven't replayed ANF in forever and who knows, perhaps my opinion on him has changed like it has for a few other characters so I don't want to be like "and I still stand by the fact that David's my favorite, he's a bitch and I love him!" until I'm sure I actually feel that way, y'know?

If I had to give you my best answer, anon, it'd be that Kenny's better established and David's thrown in, the games explore Kenny's issues more thoroughly than David's, and lots of people hate ANF but love S1 and S2.

Though now that we're talking about David, I'm curious if I'll still feel the same way about his and Javi's relationship throughout the game. I was always more interested in the brother relationship over Javi's romance with Kate. I wanted a brothers reconciling storyline from ANF, and I did get that storyline done well in another game [surprise to no one, it's Dragon Age 2, Carver is my bitchy baby brother and I love him so much] and I have a feeling that's going to affect my overall opinion.

Sigh, add it to the to-do list, one day I'll revisit ANF.

#asks #twdg kenny #twdg david #twdg javi #twdg clementine #answering this makes me want to do a garcia brothers vs hawke brothers comparison tbh #because i mean... david and carver are both soldiers who always felt overshadowed by their siblings #especially in feeling like their father favored the other over them and it made them bitter and caused tension in the relationship #and it takes effort on the players part to repair the relationship #hell you can romance the person they're romantically interested in.... though to be fair merrill isn't carver's wife #they never actually get together but it's pretty clear that he's interested in her #and i can say with confidence that carver won't beat you with a wrench if you romance her and he comes around to supporting you two #like the big difference is there's never any doubt that carver loves you no matter what path his story takes #david on the other hand tries to kill you with a wrench no matter what and then he runs away with gabe #and if you manage to keep him alive he's just like 'yeah that's my bad sorry bro do you think dad would be mad at me if he were here?' #so david and carver have surface level similarities but they differ at their core #....and i guess that's my tag ted talk about why carver good and david bad sksksksksks #i'm so sorry sksksks

[kuroshirosb]

With unknown implications, abstractions stay silent, peace starts breaking, but we have no way to know.

An obscure night’s sign fascinates our unstable mind. Hey, have you still not realized? If you don’t even know their names, even now, the strange will harm you.

Ah, if I were able to speak about such a world, I would never be scared. But I still can’t fall asleep tonight, so I’ll keep wandering late at night.

[1][3][6]

#pokemashe #lucas aquila #trainer lucas #HEYYY LUCAS TIME. uxie’s favorite little guy #guy who has no friends growing up but then finds potential friends but then feels intrusive in their dynamic #so he tries to drown himself in what he knows best (being smart) #to try and avoid them and his awkward feelings despite the loneliness #or just. something only people with higher power would know. #despite these two being the first people who show interest in being his friend #even if he treasures them and them actively making an effort to try and be a friend to him #but then BOOM he meets Cyrus and he causes him to question everything he knows #and is suddenly pressured to discover the secrets of the universe that no one can know (not even he) #but he can’t find anything and then suddenly he doubts his worth and abilities and place in the universe #so much so that he forgets to be a kid. and he forgets he has friends who care. until it’s too late to BE a kid #(he shatters his glasses trying to save Uxie too. he lost his way and can’t see what’s in front of him) #and then he sees one of his first real friends die and his other friend scrambling to try and fix him #and that echo asking what happened to them just rings in his mind #and then the guy who left him with these questions and feelings of worthlessness just ups and might as well have died #and he just doesn’t know what’s even the point #and while Cynthia tells him it’s ok for him to not know everything it still pains him and itches his mind #hisui for him is him still not understanding the keys to the universe but understanding himself as a person #and what’s important to him. and learning through experience. #it’s about himself and the people around him rather than the big idea. #and he’s understanding what he should know most of all #because simply knowing you’re alive and the world is alive is enough for you to have a place in the universe #he grows closer with Dawn and Barry when he starts understanding himself and he grows happier #ashe’s art

[eonars]

ended up finishing this one in one ~3 hour sitting, i was originally planning to take a few afternoons with it but it just cooked up and im happy with where it's at now

#now imagine if i knew how to photograph paintings #my work #i tryharded the water soooooo much plssssss look at da watah its literally where like 80% of my efforts went into #i also committed 2 small acts of fucky wucky by going outside my masking tape lines but im hoping some white paint will cover that up #ya know one time when i was still with my ex bf i made him a small painting on canvas board as a birthday gift #cause i didnt have a lot of money to get him anything and i also had no idea what i would get him #and he accepted it took it home and later told me all my landscape paintings looked really good but had a really weird vibe #and looking at them made him feel unsettled and depressed #likened it to art people put up in shitty retirement homes #also never got me SHYT for my birthday cause he claimed uhhhh im bad at getting people gifts #anyway moral of the story keep your bad vibe paintings for yourseld

[sketching-shark]

I was hoping in the S4 Special, we would see Wukong at least try to reconcile with the Brotherhood. We know Wukong and Azure were close, and we spent a lot of time talking about Azure's trauma and feelings of betrayal from Wukong. But we never got to see them at least try to talk it out. The first part of the Special focuses on Wukong's mistakes, and it's all centered around Macaque. I know Mac was his BFF, but Azure was also hurting a lot, too, and that was a big focus this season. The second Wukong gets out, he wants to shove them all back into the scroll. We get a little sad face when Azure dies, but that's really it. Kinda makes me question what the point of Azure's monkey trauma alongside Wukong's regrets were if they weren't gonna even have Wukong attempt to fix things. Also, the Pilgrims sealing the Brotherhood in the scroll. Wukong looking menacing in the flashback. That's never touched on either. All those theories on Wukong possibly striking a deal with the Jade Emperor to protect the Brotherhood or being forced to imprison them. Wukong will fish with DBK and eat popsicles with Macaque, but wont try making peace with his other brothers? IDK, it just feels like there was a lot of wasted potential with this Special, which honestly is nothing new for the series.

Hahahahaha sigh. Flying Bark really said "We are never going to let this monkey live down the stupid friend-betraying a-hole allegations <3" huh.

#monkie kid critical #monkie kid spoilers #monkey critical #anon answered #yes yes I know people don't like bringing xiyouji up when talking about monkie kid #but you can't help but think of the lengths swk would go to to NOT fight against a former friend #as well as his efforts in the book to legitimately fix issues he caused or had a hand in causing (ex the ginsing tree & the fiery mountains #and wonder why there's now this constant portrayal of him regretting what seems to be his entire past #and then just...not dealing with a lot of that #also yeah anon did find it kind of weird where huge chunks of season 4 were dedicated to azure's pain & the portrayal of heaven as being ba #and then in the special macaque's like 'well turns out azure's paradise was an act of ecocide basically' #and then we just move right along? #also still mad that swk's entire monkey yaoguai family seem to have been select all deleted out of this continuation #oh well at least we'll always have the og classic

[rust-bearer]

Thank Primus the clinic had a backup generator. First Aid counted himself lucky for finding it in the storage room, and quickly moved it into position for later. No fuel inside it, but that was alright. Plenty he could scavenge for when he’d need to turn it on. Not yet, at least.

How long until power ran out? He didn’t know. It was still online for a little bit, but that would change soon. Two days… maybe, max. Probably less. He shouldn’t- he really shouldn’t shelter in this clinic, of all places, but it was surrounded by big stone walls and only had two entrances. Entrances that he’d already blocked off earlier, sealing the gates and pushing abandoned cars in front of them, and then piling barricades behind. It would have been easier to defend the clinic with more people. Faster. But he’d…

First Aid’s eyes flickered to the outside again. Through the window. And he could see the throngs of zombies filtering through the streets. Could still see people, rarely, run out into the street screaming. Sometimes being chased by other humans too. Sometimes right before being shot. The tires tracks of the army convoy were still visible, and the same was said about the bodies they left behind. Some still human.

No. First Aid didn’t need anyone else. Couldn’t risk it. He already had four mouths to feed- if he even managed to find someone, how could he trust them? How could he trust to leave them around the kids? As of now, everything was- fine. Okay. The oldest, a teenager named Cliff Racer- who’d been at the hospital for her broken leg- she could take care of the younger ones when First Aid would go out. She knew how to shoot a gun, knew how to take care of the littler kids. Of course it wasn’t ideal. But it was what they had.

How much fuel did they have stored? If power went out tonight, First Aid could run it. Should he run it? Maybe not. The windows weren’t covered yet. The fridges all had perishables, though- he’d need to clear them out first. The blood bags. The milk. How much baby formula did they have? He needed to get more. Shit- the vaccines- were all the kids up to date? The babies, certainly not. How many months old?… DTaP, IPV, HepB-

Breathe. First Aid took a shaky inhale in, and out. He hadn’t slept last night and he wouldn’t sleep tonight, either. Just naps through the day. Like night shift work. But it made him exhausted still, and he was panicking. Of course he’d panic. How could he feed all of them by himself? Take care of all of them? If both of the babies needed twenty cans of formula per month- finding that alone would be difficult. Nevermind feeding a growing child and a growing teenager. Even if he could do the most basic of food, rice and beans, how long would that even last? Before-

…Before what?

He didn’t know. He glanced back outside, and this time, towards the edge of the mountains that flanked the city.

Maybe it would be a good idea to move out soon.

#first aid #transformers #zombie au #transformers idw #weeeeee I’m tired #I love writing prologue stuff for the zombie au #before first aid meets vortex #cause it’s like yeah. first aid would realize that he has to get out #but he also knows he doesn’t have anywhere to get out to #and he had what. a bike? #two babies and two kids and an adult and a bike #I love first aid also I looove the idea of him frantic and wheezing as he shoves #cars to make a barricade while the zombies are still weak and distracted #because it’s such a nothing . nothing effort in the end #congrats you’ve shoved two cars in front of a gate #zombies can climb #and he KNOWS that but he doesn’t- what else can he even do? #he’s almost convinced that they’ll all die anyway too #terrified that zombies will break in and he will have to . do. what? #kill them? and by them #who does he mean by them? #maccadam

[silentspectres]

currently taking -1hp psychic damage from hyperfixation

#okay to reblog #i fully did this to myself i just didnt realize how thoroughly i've painted myself into a corner #i started a durge playthrough of bg3 but since i had have two saves (mercury my solo + shrike who is co-op) #i decided i would use an existing oc i've written for for 13 years #seems logical - i already have his personality and a basic idea of how he'd deal with the durge's tendencies #since in his own canon he struggles in a similar way of not totally being in control of his actions #and has become a puppet to a being that wants to steal his mind to cause discord + strife #and he can easily be slotted into a warlock since in his own canon he made an 'agreement' with #well basically one of the gods of the land for protection #also part of my choice to use him in my third playthrough was pettiness for astarion also having curly white hair #because they unfortunately look similar and i have to live with that #but yknow whatever i was like this is a low commitment playthrough just to explore the durge storyline #and it's easier to use Silent here since his own existing story already has keynotes that would probably overlap #BUT THE PROBLEM IS #IM DRIVING MYSELF INSANE #i need locked in a room with a giant conspiracy board #i cant even share my thoughts because i'd have to first explain who Silent is and what his deal is in canon #and then from there I'd be able to talk about the parallels or the way some of the stuff that's happened in bg3 has already fucked him up #like what was i honestly expecting when i made this choice #i don't know how or why i Thought using one of my longest existing ocs would mean i could get through this playthrough low effort #i have cursed myself to be thinking about it x2 as often because it's both the game im obsessed with and my main mascot Silent #and the worst part is i keep violently swinging from thinking about Silent in bg3 to Silent just In General #so I simultaneously need to see and do things with him in this new setting while dying to tell everyone about him in his natural setting #i'm dying #silent speaks #yes i'm called Silent and he's also called Silent #no he's not a persona/self insert it's like a branding thing

[semothekat]

head in hands heand in hands

#paper is talking #Me when my dad is telling me how good and useful ai art is #How it would be so much easier for me to draw if i used it #That i can just skip the ‘meaningless’ stuff and get exactly my ideas made #Basically like the entire drawing process is meaningless and isnt important #Im not that good at speaking chinese but i said sometihng like ‘then i dont need to draw’ meaning like theres no point in me drawing at all #But i didnt really say the right words to get that meaning across so he said exactly! #Like. #head in hands right now guys #Theres no point in drawing anything if i use ai to make it #Like idk how to explain this in a way that he will understand in a way that isn’t ‘yeah! See now you dont have to work as hard and its so m #So much easier!’ #Idk why but him suggesting whole heartedly that i use ai to draw just ruined my mood eniterely #WHATS THE POINT!!! #In drawing amber and sayu and all my ocs if im not drawing it!! #Whats the point in drawing anything ever agian #Drawing is so fun becuase i made that. #I made that with my own two hands #And its specifically mine. I made that #Like i took the time to figure out how to draw the eye to look just rihgt #i took the time to figure out which colors looked bettter and i took the time to look back at the references and study the characters cloth #s and realize with terror that they have 32847298374 details #I took the time to just not draw all those details #I tookt he time to make it and it is part of me #I dont care if its just amber standing there drawing 548 i made that! #He thinks that the amount of time and effort is a hassle and a problem that should be solved cause it ‘gets in the way of the #Creative process’ #This is the creaive process!!!! #This is the point!! #Top ten reasons im balding

[aaobjectionposting-va4]

Ok but can we talk about how out of all the major male characters that Ryunosuke interacts with throughout the story, van Zieks is the ONLY one that isn't hiding something from/lying to him at one point or another?? Sholmes lies about Kazuma being alive, Kazuma hides the fact that he's going to Britain as a hired assassin, Yujin hides details about the Professor killings from him in 2-2, Stronghart lies about... Well, everything really. Like there's so much I could say about him lol. Gregson hides the fact that he helped frame Genshin for the Professor killings, McGilded lies about having been the culprit in the omnibus case, Jigoku lies about having been the one to kill Gregson... Etc etc. I personally can't remember a single point where van Zieks was hiding things from Ryuu or just straight up lying about important things to his face. He's an ass to him at first, sure, but he's ultimately on the side of justice and finding out the truth, even if it means hurting his cases or having his worldview challenged (except maybe in the case of Klint, which I'll get into).

Now one might say, "Oh but didn't he hide the fact that he had a brother from Ryunosuke at first?". And to that I say... So what? From van Zieks' point of view, details about his personal life (and ESPECIALLY about Klint) are hard to talk about and, frankly, Ryuu really had no reason to need that info about him, other than just to be nosy. That's why he's so cagey about the topic in 2-3, and why he's (somewhat) more willing to talk about it with him in 2-4/5, because at that point Ryunosuke absolutely DOES need to know more about Klint (and the Professor killings in general). And as for Ryuu's point of view, he really has no reason to be asking about van Zieks' personal life at first, other than the fact that he's just curious about it.

Anyways. I really do believe that, despite how rocky these two's dynamic is at first, it's been built on honesty and straightforward-ness from the start, and I really appreciate how we have an Ace Attorney prosecutor who's more than willing to not hide the truth from his lawyer rival (even if he's making dunks on Ryunosuke half the time, lol)

#GOD im so glad i finally wrote. something. about these two's dynamic #like their dynamic is so underrated and it sucks because it's so good like!! #as early as 1-3 these two are working towards finding the truth no matter what it may be. even if it means they might lose #ryuu in 1-3 openly admits that the omnibus was tampered with even though that may implicate his client #van zieks in as early as 1-4 not only gives evidence to the defense that he 100% didn't have to give #(and that would potentially cause him to lose the trial) #but he also calls out the actual culprit and makes it very clear that he won't tolerate her hiding things from the court #he does this in 1-5 as well with graydon.. and in 2-2 with ms green #i'm currently doing my second dgs playthrough and i'm at 2-3 so my memory there is a lil hazy lol #but i do remember that in 2-3 he had an absolutely insane premise for his case and probably sounded like an IDIOT to everyone there #and it 100% feels like it was a way to subtly tell ryuu 'hey mr naruhodo you're smart you should have 0 issue ripping my case apart' #(to be fair 2-3 saw his one friend as the defendant so that's probably why he went through all the effort. but still) #anyways im obsessed with their dynamic and y'all SLEEP on it goodbye #va4 rambles in the tags #vu's posts #tgaa #tgaa 2 spoilers #barok van zieks #ryunosuke naruhodo #also to y'all who ship them you can absolutely ship tag this lol. like im not a fan of the pairing i just like their dynamic platonically #but tbh if you wanna use this as ship fuel then honestly just go for it lmao #o shit i almost forgor... their dynamic tag omg #reaper/resolve

[thefiresofpompeii]

session with the psychiatrist today and he finalised getting me a s*roquel prescription… upon a google i discovered that one of the most common side effects is supposedly weight gain so now i am actually considering the preferred alternative option of recovery which is k*lling m*self

#he is 1. russian 2. the sessions are being paid for and monitored by my father #i tried calmly and reasonably explaining to him that i do not suffer from bipolar disorder and that #the prevalent part of the symptoms which cause me direct discomfort or suffering in my day to day #life most closely correspond to adult ‘female’ adhd and autism; and that the #only psychiatric pharmaceuticals which would cause a legitimate positive impact on my life would be those prescribed to ADHD patients; #which means that what he really should be doing is writing me a reference form to speed up the diagnosis process. his response? #‘you have labelled your issues with these developmental disorders to absolve yourself of a responsibility to heal from them; since; unlike #mental illnesses; they are not temporary and cannot be cured; only alleviated’ #ok mental illness isn’t temporary either; total recovery is nigh impossible. plus; i don’t want meds for a cure. i want meds to be able to #manage and live like a functioning adult human being. as in; be able to concentrate on what i am invested in; to ameliorate skills and put #in an ounce of effort instead of floating mindlessly without concrete goals or desires #okay maybe i need depression meds. MAYBE. but i have a sneaking suspicion that the moment i start taking adhd medication and become #far more productive and accomplished by my own standards; my depressive state will begin to dissipate without psychiatric intervention #jamie.txt #tw ed implied #antipsych

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

bestie is coming home on 1st im having thoughts

#obviously i missed her and would love to see her but seeing her brings so many complicated feelings and i hate it #i realised somewhere in the middle of a metro surrounded by a crowd that my bestfriend loves her boyfriend more than she loves me #i saw them flirt and hug and ive known her since we were 11 okay i had never seen her be so happy and calm and peaceful and CONTENT #and it made me feel yuck disgusting gross that i could never give her anything like this in years of our friendship so ofc she loves him #more than me #i used to be annoyed at her telling me about him what he did down to evey detail but there's one i can remember really well #how she was upset with him and he got angry too very angry so she thought he was breaking up with her and she started sobbing so #uncontrollably on the phone itself because she couldn't lose him and so he at like 11 pm?? he left his pg and showed up at her house told #her to come down just to give her a hug and then they went to have ice cream to make her feel better #and i just. #obviously she loves him more ivy you don't even talk to her unless she talks to you you talk once in like 2 months #she has made me realise so many things about love 😭 #i think i get it love means showing up being there when the person you love needs you no matter what #like i get it's not always possible real life problems but #like he did have real life problems going out so late getting an auto not even being sure if she would come down cause she has very strict #parents #he was willing to put in all that effort just cause she was sad and that's why she loves him more than me it makes sense #but this is why i feel so scared im not even 2% of the person he is i always feel she is going to realise im an asshole and leave me #but we talk so less it wouldn't even affect me realistically #but then i would have lost all my childhood friends everyone who knew me when i was happy better than present atleast #i would have lost all friends period since i don't have any irl friends 😭 #this is why i feel conflicted 😭😭😭