#wenzhou meta

[mtkay13]

My version of the wardrobe template! yay!! I had a LOT of fun doing this and feel like I could elaborate a bit more on each of those.

It's already linked up here, but here's once again a > link to the post.< Anyway! More about these designs below!

So first, for WKX's template! - Chapter 2: Grey robes I had already made my design of those for the full TYK lineup I made a while back. I really, really like those, and took inspiration from some of the robes SHL!WKX wears in the show for the shapes. - Chapter 69: dark robes with dark red belt I expected to like that style for him, but not that much! I had seen a tutorial on how asymetrical hanfus were worn by archers in the past and that inspired me, purely on a fashion level of course. I like how intimidating he looks with those and enjoy the touches of blue in the inner layer of the robes. - Chapter 75: dark red robes The GVM robes! which I also designed a while back when researching for the illustrations of the Mt Fengya battle scenes that I wanted to make. I reworked them just a little bit and got rid of some details that I didn't like anymore. I tremendously pleated skirts for WKX so I went at it once again. I also used shifts in hues to make it look like it could have been drenched in blood. - Extra 5: deep red robes For the reminder (since apparently some people are not aware of extra 5's existance), this extra is set 5 years post-canon. I wanted WKX to wear something that looked comfortable for traveling but also practical and fashionable. The teal jacket is of course another nod at SHL since the red and teal combo was an absolute banger. Let's say I didn't want WKX to just sport an all-red look. Furthermore, the teal really works to adorn the red hues. - My personal favourite I actually don't really know whether those are my actual personal favourites, but I've come to LOVE WKX dressed in red and white thanks to @kwehxing's designs. I think it really suits him and on top of that it avoids the question "is this Hua Cheng" LMAO--okay jokes aside, I combined most of the shapes that I really like for WKX (wider shoulders, wide sleeves, and long robes with pleated inner robes) and I find him very elegant like this. Now, for ZZS! - Chapter 1: sapphire blue scholar robes Those had already been designed before as well! They're my go to generic TC!ZZS robes, haha. I was a bit extra with the blue colour here, but oh well. I'm quite obsessed with the silver brocade cynching his waist, haha. - Chapter 2: stolen farmer robes A classic as well as far as I'm concerned--of course, inspired by his hobo fit in SHL because it was quite efficient. I'm forever fond of my scruffy hobo!Xu and his toes poking from his sandals. - Chapter 18: luxurious robes from the Gao family Those were a new design! Which I had a lot of fun coming up with. Putting ZZS in a different colour scheme was also really nice. For those who don't remember, ZZS feels quite ridiculous when he sees himself in a mirror wearing those fancy robes while being so emaciated and still sporting his hobo mask. I wanted to give this "out of place" feeling; and also work on a very "wuxia" style for the robes, since this is jianghu and they were provided by Gao Chong. - Extra 5: black robes I'm incredibly fond of this design. I worked quite a bit on it, since I wasn't sure of where I wanted to go. My main guidelines were: practical and cool. I really like ZZS having a lot of room to move so ideally not too much fabric in the way, and I think he also needs arm braces to be rid of annoying sleeves. Of course, him looking much healthier and having a dynamic ponytail really works to "complete the look", and I find that he looks really cool there haha. - My personal favourite This one has been refined over the months, but it's definitely, overall, my favourite look for him in terms of shapes and construction. I like that the robes are short, I like the more fashionable jacket. I'm especially into the "pants tucked into the boots" silhouette, as well as the little ribbons keeping them tight around the ankles. I'd say that this leg shape + short robes + a bun (or sometimes a ponytail) is THE ZZS design combo for me, haha. It looks practical and fun and adventurous, just how I like it.

To conclude the whole post, I had more fun doing this than I even expected, and needless to say that I'm very excited to see other versions of them following this template. It was a good opportunity to try and project what the characters look like throughout the book, and a fun design exercise as well. I actually don't really like doing character design usually, but for characters I'm obsessed with, it's of course a much nicer experience. Anyway, thank you for reading!

#tian ya ke #wenzhou #meta #character design #wen kexing #zhou zishu #tyk #zzs #wkx

[inaconstantstateofchange]

astarion/durge/halsin & hanwenzhou: a manifesto

For @sugarbabywenkexing and @realitycheckbounced, because you asked, and I am more than happy to deliver.

Starting notes: I do not at all like reducing characters to simple archetypes/tropes, so trust that the complexities of the characters and their interactions are implicitly maintained, and this is of course not anything like a 1:1 connection (how could it possibly be), just core themes that stood out to me from both relationship dynamics.

Also, the Durge connection is going to be affected by how you personally conceptualize/play Durge, but I am writing this with a Neutral Resist!Durge in mind, so that's what we're going with for the sake of this meta.

Spoilers for both canons, but especially the Dark Urge backstory.

Durge & Zhou Zishu

[Using my own Durge, Kelis, for the image - incredible art by @somespareserotonin-please]

A cult leader of a murderous organization, with an ocean's worth of blood and evil on their hands, who has broken away from that past but doesn't expect or even pursue anything like forgiveness or true redemption.

These characters are so unique to me because they hold regret for their actions, but not in the traditional "past evil seeks redemption" way that is familiar. They're so much more complex in their motivations, desires, and conceptions of the world than that.

Astarion & Wen Kexing

Steeped in blood and spending the majority of their lives being taught that power is all that matters, and those who have power will only ever use it against those who do not. The only way to get out from under the heel of those above you is to overthrow them, take their position, become worse than they could ever be.

When free from the oppressive darkness they were "raised" in, even for a brief period, they grasp onto it with a bloodthirsty glee.

Halsin & Han Ying

Loyalty and devotion are the very core of these characters, deep-rooted. They feel the weight of responsibility upon their shoulders and they wear it like a mantle. When they make a promise, especially to one they are devoted to, they will see it through, no matter how long it takes, or how much it requires of them.

Relationship Dynamics

Astarion and Durge are to each other, in so many ways, what Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are in another universe. They find each other at a time when their fates are at a point of divergence, and they find a kindred spirit - a kindred monster - within each other. They make each other better, but they do not make each other morally good.

Durge and Halsin have the capacity for a very similar relationship dynamic to Zhou Zishu and Han Ying. In an ideal situation, Durge is the one who makes it possible for Halsin to make good on his century-old vow to see the Shadow Curse broken. He showcases a great deal of respect for Durge as a leader, and a significant amount of loyalty and adoration for them as well.

Finally, Halsin and Astarion have the potential for a relationship with similarly disparate and flexible conceptions as Wen Kexing and Han Ying. They can be equal partners in truth, bonded first over their shared devotion to Durge, if provided enough time and narrative support to build such a relationship. They can be comrades with a bond of devotion only, not engaged romantically with one another but appreciating the other for their importance to Durge. They can be neutral parties, without true care for one another, but still cordial for the sake of their shared love. These are just three examples of a truly infinite number of variations.

Thank you for coming to my TedxTalk. All six of these idiots are so absurdly important to me. I'd love to hear any thoughts you may have!

#voidling speaks #my meta #meta #hanwenzhou #astarion/durge/halsin #astarion/durge #halsin/durge #halsin #astarion #durge #kelis #bg3 #word of honor #zhou zishu #wen kexing #han ying #halsin/astarion #wenzhou

[mejomonster]

I'm just thinking. Luo Wenzhou gave Fei Du the psp...

Fei Du said when he was little, he didn't watch TV, just play games sometimes... I wonder if those were his happiest childhood moments? The ones where at the house with his dad he felt the most like an actual child, escaping into a game and for once in a while feeling like he's experiencing a normal childhood for a little while, and he associated it with Tao Ran giving it to him which associated it with all the moments spent at Tao Rans house (again escaping the home his mom died in and dad abused him in and living a normal childhood helping to fix Tao Rans appliances and doing his homework and being safe and cared for and loved). To Fei Du that game system probably means an awful lot. Is connected to the best parts, kindest safest warmest parts, of him growing up.

No wonder it's such a shock to hear from Tao Ran, that Luo Wenzhou actually got it for him. To learn that behind the scenes, for the past 7 years, Luo Wenzhou has been doing so Much to try and give Fei Du a normal safe happy life, a safe haven, a way to feel human.

#silent reading #justice in the dark #meta #lb #and then that convo where fei du asks if Luo Wenzhou used to even check his report cards #like. even the yelling at fei du. Luo Wenzhou would treat him like an ordinary brat or misbehaving acting out teen when #fei du said some absolutely messed up stuff about killing animals or people #fei du was like su luozhan. luo wenzhou couldve seen him as a monster and pushed him away/rejected him #instead luo wenzhou kept insistingly treating fei du as a Completely Normal rebellious teenager. #simply arguing back instead of viewing fei du as horrific. punishing him with scolding or jokes instead of abandoning #steering him the only way Luo wenzhou knew how to be a ' #normal person with a normal life. meanwhile treating him consistently and SAFELY and allowing fei du to DISOBEY and disagree #in a way fei dus own father never did. fei du couldnt refuse him. but luo wenzhou could argue nonstop for a year #and still fei du could get away with not obeying. free to be in control of his own actilns and mind #luo wenzhou truly gave him SO much growing up

[audriel]

fourteen: behind the scenes

this story can be said a character study of Fang Rui and his relationships (tbh when is it not lol).

in truth, in the earliest draft, there's only one relationship that's become the focus, but as it typically happens, the character and the story tend to take a life of its own. but ultimately what brings it to completion is the Secret Santa prompt. as per en's request, the two characters chosen to become the main focus in their relationship with Fang Rui are Ye Xiu and Yu Wenzhou, with two more from the Chinese Glory team. so special mention to en (empatbelas) since they’re the reason this story gets completed.

Huang Shaotian: in comparison to the other three, there's no obvious interaction in the novel that suggests that they are closer than the typical familiarity between top gods of the League. it doesn't help that Huang Shaotian (and Fang Rui himself) is friendly with everyone. Huang Shaotian among the first to comment in Fang Rui's weibo post, then Fang Rui joins Happy's bullying of Huang Shaotian during the pre-match handshakes in the playoffs. until the prequel 'Summer of Blue Rain' that is.

not only Fang Rui shows up in Blue Rain, he also calls Huang Shaotian, Shaotian. again, considering how naturally friendly they are, it might not be enough as an evidence of their closeness. however, it's important to note that both spend time together in Blue Rain, and considering how tight-knit Blue Rain is and how social the two are, it's not impossible that they are more than merely colleagues and rivals, but friends that chat and hangout together outside of games.

Zhou Zekai: in the novel, there's only one notable interaction outside of games between the two, which is when they encountered each other after Samsara-Happy first regular match of Season 10. then there's a mention of a familiarity that's typical between pro players that debut together during the finals, but it doesn't suggest Fang Rui is as close to Zhou Zekai as Wu Yuce or even Zhou Guangyi, though it's interesting to point out that he called the latter Old Zhou, likely because he called Zhou Zekai, Little Zhou. however, then there's the prequel.

there's a pattern in the prequels: For the Glory and the Expectations of the Mediocre. all the stories tends to revolve around first meetings: Ye Xiu-Su siblings. Ye Xiu-Han Wenqing. Ye Xiu-Wu Xuefeng. Sun Zheping-Zhang Jiale. Yu Wenzhou-Huang Shaotian-Wang Jiexi. Wang Jiexi-Fang Shiqian. Yu Wenzhou-Huang Shaotian-Zhang Xinjie-Xiao Shiqin. Zhou Zekai-Fang Minhua. and based on the characters that become the focus, they are all play important roles for each other: partners, rivals, tacticians. they are equals.

and in the latest prequel, in what supposed to be Zhou Zekai and Samsara focus, suddenly a wild Fang Rui appeared. and he's not a mere cameo, unlike his previous appearance. he actually has an actual interaction, genuine exchange. and for people who's quiet and introverted like Zhou Zekai, they tend to stick close to people they're familiar with when they're getting into new place aka the League. Fang Rui might be the first friend he made outside Samsara, and quite possibly, his partner and/or rival in the future (or BB just plain adore FR, which is... fair, me too).

Yu Wenzhou: before the prequel, it's less likely for Fang Rui to be close to Yu Wenzhou, in comparison to Huang Shaotian. although there's a notable interaction in the playoffs when Lu Hanwen attempted to play dirty, the keyword here is 'attempted', making Fang Rui rolled on the ground laughing as he gestured wildly towards Blue Rain team. the one being shown having a reaction towards him is Yu Wenzhou (though this also points out how good of a relationship he has with his old team that he dares to openly tease them right in the middle of the match, it's the playoffs too).

then there's the prequel, while Fang Rui appears to mainly summon Huang Shaotian for his new silver weapon, he stays behind and calls Yu Wenzhou, Wenzhou. Unlike Huang Shaotian, Yu Wenzhou is more reserved and not to mention he's Swoksaar successor and future captain, even young as they were, I don't think any ordinary newbie (as per timeline suggests that the Challengers League conclude around the same time of S3, Fang Rui should only have less than a year in the training camp) would have that kind of familiarity with Yu Wenzhou. i come to believe, as reflected in this story, that in actuality Fang Rui is closer to Yu Wenzhou than Huang Shaotian.

Ye Xiu: and lastly, putting the most important relationship and the one that started everything. as i fall in love with Fang Rui, i recall vividly all his scenes and his interactions with others. his dynamics with Ye Xiu particularly caught my eye. Wei Chen is the first who can keep up with his trash talk in Happy, but ultimately after they officially enter the Glory Pro Alliance, it's Fang Rui. Su Mucheng is undeniably his best partner, but Fang Rui is Ye Xiu's partner in trash talk and in close range offensive. there are plenty of instances of these two working together in dealing damage in close range (i can give the receipt, if anyone wants it). these are some of my favorite interactions:

"Nice snipe." Fang Rui's Boundless Sea said in the public chat.   "I can't stay rusty forever :)" Ye Xiu replied with a smiley face. -Chapter 1163

"Clearly explain? You didn't explain at all!" Fang Rui said. "I saw that he was looking at them himself!" Ye Xiu said. "What use is looking at them himself! Are the rules that easy to digest? You need to properly teach him how to exploit the loopholes in the rules." "You shut your mouth, is exploiting loopholes and whatnot something that a respectable pro player should do?" "But there will always be a few sneaky players that do this. To defeat their sneaky tricks, you first have to understand how they'll be sneaky!" said Fang Rui. -Chapter 1164

"The ones who should be strictly criticized are the two players who went up next. Two players, and you couldn't take down the opponent's one player? Especially the third player, the great general anchoring the group arena, Fang Rui! The team didn't spend so much money to get you over here just so you could be a useless dim sum! You couldn't even take care of a Wang Jiexi?" Ye Xiu berated him. The tone of that "couldn't even take care of a Wang Jiexi" was deafening! Ever since Wang Jiexi had entered the Alliance, the reporters had never heard this kind of sentence before. "Yeah yeah yeah." To the side, Fang Rui confessed, ashamed, "I messed up, I couldn't focus my spirits to play well. Someone like Wang Jiexi, I should at least be able to fight ten of him." "That's a bit much!" Ye Xiu said. "Eight?" Fang Rui said. "Mm." Ye Xiu nodded. -Chapter 1195

“What do you mean? We purposefully gave you a shot at him, y’know?” In the chat, Fang Rui replied to Wei Chen. “Look at what wonderful people we are, giving you a chance to show off in front of your disciple. Where’s your gratitude?” Ye Xiu added. “Fine, thank you, you dumbasses,” Wei Chen retorted. -Chapter 1415

At such a crucial moment of time, Happy’s team members were still relentlessly trash talking Wei Chen, reminding him that it wouldn’t look good if his junior to defeated him. “You’re twice his age!” Ye Xiu reminded. “More than,” Fang Rui corrected. “If you get cut down so easily then that would be quite the embarrassment,” Ye Xiu said. “Indeed.” This time, Wei Chen didn’t reply. Naturally, this wasn’t because he was alright with being mocked like this, but it was because he couldn’t spare any effort into arguing with these two -Chapter 1416

“If you were my opponent, I definitely wouldn’t have fallen for that,” Fang Rui said honestly to Ye Xiu. “Nah, you definitely would have,” Ye Xiu replied back honestly. “Definitely wouldn’t have.” “Definitely would have.” -Chapter 1525

“How’s it going there? If you’re still holding on, type 1,” Fang Rui messaged. “11111111111,” Ye Xiu typed a line of 1s, showing that he was doing great. “Wow, amazing! What are we even here for?” Fang Rui replied. He was actually very shocked. -Chapter 1618

those interactions never fail to bring a smile to my face. their exchange is easy, comfortable. while at the same time when they do it during games, neither loses their focus. there also are times when they use it to cover their real intentions or use it as a mental attack, making their opponents second guess. then, i thought of the teams they left behind. 

i cannot imagine Excellent Era with Liu Hao and Wind Howl with Tang Hao responding positively to their trash talk or their overall playful, not so serious exchange, not realizing it’s also their way to lighten the team’s mood. i imagine how lonely it has been, how difficult and uncomfortable it might be, and yet here they are in Happy. another person, their teammate who can actually give as good as they get, without getting offended or losing focus in game. it’s like finding someone who can get your jokes. if i’m that happy in that situation, i bet Ye Xiu and Fang Rui are too.

and i want to particularly highlight these two interactions:

"Good joke. On the other hand, look at how sincere I am," Fang Rui said to Ye Xiu after leaving the stage, and was met with a kick. -Chapter 1139

"You useless dim sum! Are you looking for death! Hurry up and kneel!" Ye Xiu hit Fang Rui on the head. "My mistake, my mistake!" Fang Rui was weeping and crying. The others didn't know whether to be angry or amused. This communication issue was really a big problem! -Chapter 1208

my memories might be faulty, but i really, really cannot recall Ye Xiu being as physical with others as he has been with Fang Rui (besides Su Mucheng, but like that’s only once too, i think cmiiw). that’s display of another level of comfort right there

this also brings me to the other dimension of trash talk (and dirty playstyle).

Fang Rui had completely ruined the tense atmosphere in the stadium. The peak-level match had suddenly turned into an in-game 1v1 in the Glory Arena.  -Chapter 1605

Fang Rui received a warm welcome from Happy’s fans. As they cheered, he strutted around as if Happy wasn’t the team falling behind right now. He walked onto the stage, waving his hands towards the crowd as if he had won. It was only until the referee rushed over and berated him did he go into the player booth dejectedly. The crowd laughed. The tense atmosphere from Zhang Jiale’s 1v2 had lightened considerably. [...] The public chat had been very calm previously, but Fang Rui’s presence changed that. “How mighty! 1v2!” Fang Rui gave praise towards Zhang Jiale. “It’s not over yet!” Zhang Jiale replied.  “It pretty much is,” Fang Rui said. [...] You could say it was dirty, but that explosive burst of qi was very heroic. You could say that it was tyrannical, but hiding behind a wall and gathering qi was very dirty… In any case, Happy had won this round. It was a clean victory, chasing back the advantage that Zhang Jiale had gained. If Fang Rui’s previous interactions with the crowd had eased the crowd’s tension, then his dominating performance this round was a tranquilizer to Happy’s fans. -Chapter 1491

these excerpts can be said to be the best examples of how much a mood maker (or destroyer) Fang Rui can be. he can only pull this off if he is perceptive, he’s sensitive towards people’s moods and knows how to influence them. so it’s not a stretch to say that Fang Rui is a master at people’s psychology. and interestingly, this exchange sounds a bit familiar…

"Our captain is mighty." "If you've got the time to spout useless words, why don't you use it on moving your character instead?" The praise that he had typed into the public chat was only met with Ye Xiu's disdain. [...] Liu Hao would never forget the icy contempt that Ye Xiu showed towards his well-meaning compliment. To Liu Hao, calling out a beautiful play by a teammate was a way of boosting the morale of the team, but Ye Xiu maintained that his praise was too excessive. -Chapter 1279-1280

why is there such a difference in response from Ye Xiu? is it because of it’s directed towards an opponent instead of teammates, as it can be disruptive? Ye Xiu’s explanation in that very same match is that Liu Hao is always unable to put one hundred percent of his attention into the match. there are far too many other things he’s concerned about. is that all, or is there something else?

my first and main guess, is that Ye Xiu has a higher and better regard for Fang Rui. this started from their first official interaction in the novel.

"In the end, it's the experienced players who are harder to deal with!" When Ye Xiu saw Fang Rui's decision, he couldn't help but sigh in his heart. [...] In the end, it's the experienced players who are harder to deal with! Fang Rui came up with the same evaluation. -Chapter 1110

what’s also interesting in this chapter is that this shows their thoughts, and their thoughts are strikingly similar. this also might be BB sowing the seeds early of how Fang Rui would have fit in Happy under Ye Xiu easily.

“He’s not wasting the foundation that Mo Fan lay down for him. What a reliable guy!” Ye Xiu sighed. -Chapter 1447

Reliable, such an assessment coming from Ye Xiu should be a huge compliment. after all, this is the man who believes that Glory isn’t a single-player game. 

“You gonna be okay?” Ye Xiu grinned as he asked Fang Rui. For the other Happy players who didn’t know that Fang Rui wasn’t himself right now, it didn’t sound like anything was wrong. The team had four senior members. Apart from Su Mucheng, the other three weren’t exactly the most serious people. It was common for them to talk trash about each other. But Fang Rui knew that these seemingly normal joking words had real meaning today. “Even if I’m not, I’ve got to go. The team really can’t do without me,” Fang Rui said proudly. The others on Happy didn’t find anything wrong, but Ye Xiu could hear what Fang Rui was implying: Yes, we don’t have any other choice. No matter how things are, I have to go. Ye Xiu didn’t say anything more. He wasn’t completely clear how Fang Rui’s condition was, but he knew that Fang Rui was a responsible player. He wasn’t going to play if he didn’t think he could win. It could only mean that he could still fight. He didn’t want to go before probably because he only wanted to fight if it was necessary, and right now was the time. -Chapter 1655

Responsible. 

THIS. this might be what sets Fang Rui apart from Liu Hao the most: he’s a responsible player. he always sees the big picture, he thinks of the ultimate goal: victory, and he never forgets he needs a team to achieve that. his trash talk and his playful demeanor onstage and offstage, his silence when he’s not feeling the best, his voluntary choice to step up when needed… are all in consideration of victory, and being as perceptive (and former vice captain) as he is, he knows how important morale is. Liu Hao can preach as much as he wants that he wants to boost the team’s morale, but Ye Xiu isn’t buying it, he knows Liu Hao’s doing it for himself, not for the team, not really as he’s always concerned about other things irrelevant to the game, to victory.

it’s no wonder that Ye Xiu finds it easy to trust Fang Rui despite having less time to build a rapport with, especially compared with the rest of Happy who has been building the team with him from scratch, and even when he’s not exactly close to Fang Rui. i say this with confidence because it’s noted that Ye Xiu needed to open a new chat window to pull Fang Rui to Happy, which means their only contact is limited to around official matches or All-Stars.

Ye Xiu’s trust and reliance in Fang Rui shows up many times throughout the novel, but it’s notably obvious in during the playoffs.

“I would’ve been fine even without your help,” Fang Rui suddenly said. “Huh?” Steamed Bun replied. “Not you, Steamed Bun,” Ye Xiu typed a reply as fast as he could. Though he knew that Fang Rui was talking to him, but if they let Steamed Bun misunderstand, then things would go downhill very fast. “We’re counting on you, Steamed Bun,” Fang Rui also broke out into cold sweat, hurriedly pitching in and making sure that Steamed Bun was focused and happy. [...] Ye Xiu and Fang Rui’s hearts calmed. Let him be as wasteful as he wants; it’s better than going completely out of it. “It’s all up to you!” Ye Xiu once again made sure Steamed Bun focused, but his words had a second meaning. Fang Rui understood, knowing that Ye Xiu was actually talking to him. As for Steamed Bun, the other cheerfully gave an acknowledging reply. Fang Rui didn’t dare tell him the truth of the matter. -Chapter 1474

Ye Xiu is trusting the handling of Steamed Bun, the most difficult to understand player in Happy, the greatest wildcard and variable in the game, to Fang Rui.

then there’s the playoffs against Tyranny.

Back on the battlefield, Happy had regrouped under Ye Xiu’s orders. They clearly didn’t want to continue fighting with Tyranny here. They wanted to reset the battle and fight in a different place. During this gradual process, Happy’s players began to regain their calm. Even Ye Xiu had felt distressed over the loss of Fang Rui. He wasn’t nearly as calm as he appeared. The others were even more so. -Chapter 1565

before finally Fang Rui is sent out of the game, until the very end Ye Xiu tried to save him, even when Fang Rui himself told the team to leave him. In that scene, Ye Xiu is even shown to be visibly distressed, which says a lot.

"Du Ming's in really good condition today. Be careful," Ye Xiu said to Fang Rui. "In better condition than me?" Fang Rui scoffed. "Haha," Ye Xiu laughed. "What's 'haha' supposed to mean!" Fang Rui could feel the disdain from Ye Xiu's laugh. "You're getting paid the most out of all of us. Please," Ye Xiu said. -Chapter 1605

the please tacked on really shakes me to the core, i can imagine it's more so for Fang Rui. that proud and stubborn Ye Xiu, needs to resort to something close to begging in desperation. i may be reading into things, but another interesting point in this scene is how Ye Xiu is not hiding his disdain. Ye Xiu is really careful in revealing his emotions, particularly negative ones. and yet here he is, doing so. for me, it’s like the mask is off, the guard is lowered, in that single moment.

“But… No matter what the map is, have you thought about not letting Fang Rui go onstage?” Chen Guo said. Ye Xiu fell silent.  -Chapter 1635

Just two of them were left. Su Mucheng stood behind Ye Xiu, watching him reclassify the recordings, articles, images, etc. from before and save them. “How do you feel?” Su Mucheng suddenly asked. “How do I feel? You mean about Fang Rui?” Ye Xiu said, without turning his head.  -Chapter 1636

By then, Ye Xiu had returned to Happy’s area. He also had to decide on the next person Happy was to send up. But this was not an easy decision. Even though Ye Xiu did not lose in spirit to Zhou Zekai, not even he could suppress the opponent’s confidence. Zhou Zekai would continue his fight-to-the-death attitude and launch an aggressive offensive. Happy needed to send up someone with lots of experience and ability to quickly adapt to changes to tango with Zhou Zekai. Fang Rui! He was the most suitable choice. When Ye Xiu thought this, his gaze wandered in Fang Rui’s direction. But just as he did so, his heart sank a little. Fang Rui was also looking back at him, but his gaze gave off an abnormal sense of calm. Ye Xiu understood Fang Rui. Even though he was the epitome of playing dirty, he was definitely not the kind to bully the weak and avoid the strong. Fang Rui must also understand how crucial this coming match was. In these moments, judging by Fang Rui’s usual personality, he probably would have already volunteered to play next without being asked. But now, not only Fang Rui did not speak up, but he still stayed silent when he caught Ye Xiu’s eyes. Ye Xiu immediately knew that Fang Rui wasn’t at his best. The burden from last match probably hadn’t been completely erased by the two days’ worth of rest. Fang Rui staying silent was his way of not hurting Happy’s morale. But at this moment, he decided to stay silent after he exchanged looks with Ye Xiu. This was because he knew Ye Xiu would understand him right away. -Chapter 1651

Mo Fan, who hadn’t contributed anything last round, looked even more dejected when he returned. The comforting from his teammates were completely ignored. “Don’t worry,” Ye Xiu looked towards him. Mo Fan walked right past him. Those words were too light. How could he casually wave off such a devastating defeat? “Your teammates are still fighting,” Ye Xiu continued. Mo Fan turned his head. Ye Xiu was no longer looking at him. Mo Fan followed Ye Xiu’s gaze to Fang Rui, who was still holding his clenched right hand up in the air. “So we haven’t lost,” Ye Xiu turned his head to look at him. -Chapter 1655

Fang Rui patted Qiao Yifan, and his attitude was also very sincere. “Without me, you guys will be the ones working very hard.” Everyone laughed. But after laughing, they felt that these words, although shameless, were true. Fang Rui’s strength, Boundless Sea’s strength, were stronger than the new players and new accounts of Happy. Without him, the rest of them really would have to work very hard. “Then we’ll work harder.” Ye Xiu nodded. -Chapter 1675

the first to the last scenes are Ye Xiu not denying Fang Rui’s strength and importance to the team. it also shows Ye Xiu’s tendency to look to and for Fang Rui. i want to remind you of the scene when Ye Xiu was checking on everyone’s state before the playoffs, and kept wondering of Fang Rui’s whereabouts until Su Mucheng told him that he went to bed early. Don’t also forget this infamous scene:

It was a shocking performance, but as Ye Xiu watched and watched, his original smile grew a bit heavy. He glanced at Fang Rui’s booth again, and seeing that there was still no movement, he quickly walked over. [...] Even though Ye Xiu was still smiling, that heaviness from earlier still hadn’t faded. When he saw Su Mucheng looking at him, he returned the gaze, answered Su Mucheng’s doubts. -Chapter 1634

Ye Xiu is the first to notice the abnormality of Fang Rui and the first to make a move to check on Fang Rui. he's also the one who doesn't buy Fang Rui's act.

this trust and understanding go both ways.

"It was well done," Fang Rui nodded. "But it wasn't easy, no?" "What?" Chen Guo was puzzled. When she looked at Ye Xiu, she discovered that he didn't look too happy about his win. Even though Ye Xiu wasn't the type to show his emotions easily, his expression wasn't very relaxed despite winning. Chen Guo realized her perspective of the match was too shallow. She looked at Su Mucheng, and from Su Mucheng's gaze towards Ye Xiu, she could see… worry. [...] "It wasn't easy," Ye Xiu said.  -Chapter 1273

The trophy. The gleaming golden trophy, symbolizing the greatest Glory, was finally given to Happy. Ye Xiu accepted it with both hands. But immediately afterwards, the trophy slipped between his fingers. “Ah!!” As the crowd cried out in surprise, to Ye Xiu’s left and right, Su Mucheng and Fang Rui swiftly reached out to support the trophy. -Chapter 1727

It’s Su Mucheng and Fang Rui who are the first to react and help Ye Xiu to support his tired fingers to lift up the trophy, and Fang Rui himself is unlikely to have fully recovered by then too.

whoops it grows into such a long analysis into Fang Rui and Ye Xiu’s relationship. i’d also point out that Ye Xiu’s trust and reliance on Fang Rui is not baseless, besides the legendary play that heralds Fang Rui’s return to godhood. it’s been pointed out that Happy’s excellent record is due to Fang Rui as much as Ye Xiu’s. (not core player my ass. sorry my beloved dimsum, but we’re gonna agree to disagree)

Fang Rui growing accustomed to his new playstyle was an indispensable contribution to Happy's recent strong performance. After being thrown off by Ye Xiu's unspecialized Lord Grim, the various members of the Alliance now faced another playstyle that they couldn't immediately understand, that caused them just as much difficulty as Lord Grim. -Chapter 1225

this, alongside the brief mention that player(s) from abroad seems to disdain these kinds of dirty tricks from Wei Chen, makes a strong argument that if Ye Xiu has his pick in the national team roster, he will certainly have Fang Rui.

meanwhile, it is merely my speculation that Fang Rui is the one replacing Han Wenqing. however, i feel it’s not without basis. the numbering on the national team, for one. then there’s the distribution of class and ability. I’ve read some analysis, and many are leaning towards Fang Rui as one of the candidates. more so if Wei Chen’s comment of dirty playing is being disdained is true and not mere exaggeration, Fang Rui’s not being the first choice is much higher and for Ye Xiu, who needs to work miracles as the Team Leader in the short time, for him choosing Fang Rui is a no brainer: a player that is unpredictable and unfamiliar to opponents, and a teammate whom he trusts and relies on, with whom he can pick for both individual and team competition. 

i kinda have to add the last one because the younger members of the national team are not very known for their teamwork. and Fang Rui, both as a player and as Qi Master, is incredibly versatile. he has high adaptability. case in point: him fitting in the grassroots, online game background Happy with surprising ease. for this reason Happy is nigh invincible in online games and robbing BOSSes compared to other pro players. this shows that that online game style is not easy for pro players with a formal training background, and yet here Fang Rui who debuted in the Fifth Year easily fitting in like he’s been with Happy from day one.

that’s why i headcanon Fang Rui as a diplomat’s son, who is used to moving to different countries, learning different languages and cultures. it’s also why he’s so perceptive when it comes to people and language (read: loopholes). in the national team, he will be the unofficial vice captain to Yu Wenzhou and right hand to Ye Xiu. while they have single rooms during training, they will have roommates during the actual competition abroad, which i think will make more sense, in the case of anything going wrong (lateness, forgetfulness, you name it). so it’s likely for Ye Xiu and Fang Rui to room together. yeah, i definitely have some ideas for the World Invitationals, writing them is another matter.

thank you for reading this long author’s-note-turned-meta! i’d love to hear more from you about this story (and my note).

#meta #tka #the king's avatar #quan zhi gao shou #qzgs #analysis #fang rui #fourteen #fanfic #fanfiction #ye xiu #yu wenzhou #huang shaotian #zhou zekai

[pastelcheckereddreams]

Thinking about how it’s Wen Kexing who scolds Chengling for crying at the dinner table during their NYE’s feast. Thinking about how we get a close-up of Zhou Zishu’s face as he realises Chengling’s change in mood - an arc of empathy moving from delight to dismay. Thinking about how it’s only now - now he wants to live - that ZZS allows himself to see the similarities he shares with Chengling, allows himself to see himself in Chengling, and doesn’t immediately default to harshness.

#nikkirewatches #woh episode 28 #woh ep 28 #wenzhou family #woh meta #shl meta #zhou zishu #zhang chengling

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

unfortunately, the scene in the underground cave system of marionette manor was spoiled for me as zhiji-esque moment, due to the way my mind works. sometimes other people’s views overlap my own and it muddles my head. (hope that will relax with time, looking forward to rereading that scene and reacting in my own way to it, no shade intended.) but there so many other moments that had me go “oh! zhiji!”

and like, one of them isnt even really a direct interaction between wenzhou. though they are on-page as wenzhou, they are speaking to someone else in that moment. and its such a quiet, introspective, lowkey moment, but extremely powerful. it encompasses an aha!-moment for zzs that ties into his character resolution, and has wkx as a silent, reliable (mouthy) backup. and the thing about it that had me go “oh! zhiji!” is when i realized that wkx’s way of quiet support is lending zzs a viewpoint he, up to now, hasnt dared to let himself consider. and also, all this time wkx wanted nothing more than for zzs to get his disguise finally off! but when a bunch of righteous sect members accuse zzs of being unfit to be seen, and suggest he sheds his cloths so he can save face, wkx (who wouldnt lose anything if zzs followed the advise) hurls that guy’s words right back at him. zzs hasnt anything he needs to be ashamed of! the thing is, im certain wkx would react a little differently if the accusation was directed at him. i dont think he would give in, but im fairly certain he wouldnt completely block these accusations off and bounce them right back, cut the idea at the root. he is shielding zzs in that moment, because he knows zzs has a thin face re: being perceived. he knows zzs doesnt want for anyone to see his nails. he knows zzs values his privacy. and he doesnt think zzs has anything to be ashamed of. thats his personal opinion, thats the principle he lives by; why should there be anything unfit to be seen on you, just because you arent a righteous sect member, just because you arent going along with the crowd? wkx has no problem at all following this. and it is in accordance with zzs’s own nature, too. but zzs has lived way too long twisting himself into shapes that dont really fit him, he is all twisted up now. wkx, though he cant know the details, somehow senses this. by speaking up for zzs in that moment, he is protecting and shielding him, and it gives him an out. because it directly precedes zzs’s massive aha!-moment.

like. they arent even speaking to each other, they are speaking to someone else, and they have never really talked about this. but, somehow, they are in such harmony.

#so i didnt cross-check the scene before writing this post #if i misremembered anything yell at me in the notes. #tyk wenzhou meta #tian ya ke #tian ya ke my beloved

[intertexts-moving]

eating your tyk liveblogs with a spoon <3 they are SO funny and your takes are so good

ahh hi!!!!! hskdkdfjvd oh that makes me so happy i'm SO glad someone is enjoying my pain at least <3 tyty though i'm enjoying tyk so so much... insane novel. doing new and unusual types of things to my brain. god.

#this is just fuel for me 2 post even more unhinged wenzhou meta.... also thank u sm.. very kind. i love watching people consume media i like #so i try to return the favor ever time i get into a thing LMAO <333 #if yr ever wanting to id love 2 hear some of yr tyk thoughts btw!!! i think it was yr zzs guy who is a shell game post that made me go ok #fuck. i should read this shouldn't i. hsjsdkffkd #oh also! u are... mutual.. (whoa cool) mutuals get. their own named tags! if u would like! #does #gC tag! #work or is there a name or smth youd prefer? :0

[liberty-or-death]

There was no one at the ferry in the wilderness; save for a small boat that lies on the water leisurely. "野渡无人舟自横" - The meaning of Fei Du 费渡 and Luo Wenzhou 骆闻舟's Name. (Wei Yingwu 韦应物- Chuzhou’s Xijian 滁州西涧）

I’ve never analysed a priest related meta so here’s a first for me I guess.

It’s a known fact that Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou’s names were censored when the Modu adaptation was released.  The names just stuck out to me so I did some research and WOW, their names were from the same line in a poem (OBVIOUSLY).

And it's a very famous poem too, which is probably why their names were changed because everyone knows what Priest was trying to imply.

So anyway here it goes ~

Their names arise from from Chuzhou’s Xijian 滁州西涧 written by the Tang Dynasty Poet Wei Yingwu 韦应物 (lmao this dude's courtesy name was Yibo XD) .  Chuzhou’s a city located in the Anhui Province. 西涧 Xijian refers to a river located west of Chunzhou. When the poet was the governor of Chunzhou, he frequently visited Xijian and thus, it inspired him to write this poem.  Wei Yingwu has a reputation for writing poetry based on scenery so here's one of them!

独怜幽草涧边生，上有黄鹂深树鸣。 

The only thing I like is the lonely grass that grows by the stream that runs through the valley, and the orioles that cry out in the deep undergrowth.

T/N: 独怜 is a very interesting word. 😍. It can be broken down to 独 (unique, alone) and 怜 (pity, love).  So in this case, most people would interpret this as something was so unique and the poet loved it, or it could also mean something that was  lonely and pitiful 🥲

春潮带雨晚来急，野渡(DU)无人舟(ZHOU)自横。

In the evening, when the spring tide rises and the rain drizzles, the water in the Xijian river becomes increasingly turbulent.  There was no one at the ferry in the wilderness; save for a small boat that lies on the water leisurely. 

"野渡无人舟自横" is a very famous line (Tang 300!) and it has inspired many to draw based on this line alone.

Drawn by Zhang Pin in 1963.

And another painting by Pan Tianshou in 1964

To fully understand this poem, we have to start from the poet’s background. Wei Yingwu came from a rich family, and when he was 15 years old, he was the aide of Emperor Xuanzhong.  In the early days, he was unruly and the villagers under him suffered.  During the An Lushan Rebellion, Xuanzhong fled and Wei Yingwu lost his job. Wei Yingwu then put his mind to studying and eventually, he became an official.  It was said that his past turbulent experiences in his life (the An Lushan Rebellion in particular) inspired his poem. 

As a bonus point, you’re absolutely right  if you’ve read modu and found the vibe of this poem to be very familiar.  Because Priest has used similar imagery throughout the novel.  For example, in Chapter 95:

He was like a traveler walking through the desert, his body utterly broken. And Luo Wenzhou and this tiny house was like a bottle half filled with water that fell from the sky.  Even if it contained arsenic, or if the cold broke apart his fingers one by one ... he could not give it up. - Translation by yours truly. 

#priest #modu #silent reading #luo wenzhou #fei du #justice in the dark #mo du #pei su

[yexie]

as i read faraway wanderers i’m already trying to work out what bits and pieces of novel!canon i prefer to show!canon and vice versa, and i’m reading through @verycharismaticdragon‘s excellent meta posts to build my own opinions upon.

i haven’t finished the novel yet so i haven’t finished my thoughts yet, but as people who saw my post about “soulmates by choice” wenzhou can imagine, i greatly prefer the novel’s complete coincidental meeting of two random people to the show’s “and they were sect-mates” (bad joke ik). i did however read a meta post about wuxia romance tropes in word of honor, and this is one of them, so perhaps it was either a way to make tyk a more traditional wuxia story or one of (many) ways to hint at wenzhou’s romantic relationship despite the censors.

on the other hand, seeing as how i love women... luo fumeng and liu qianqiao own my heart and i love them as characters in the show. luo fumeng is also peak character design with the long nails.

and the third hand that just has “obsessed with xiejie liubo” written on it is gently holding show!xie wang very close to my heart. i’m not far enough in the novel to have met his novel counterpart yet, but i know that his and zh** ji**’s relationship (censored bcs ew) is very very different in the novel and he himself is just a completely different guy.

idk i don’t really have a point i’m making here i just needed to kind of air these thoughts out. this is in part due to the aforementioned wonderful blogger having tags on one of their meta posts that mentioned giving yby a lovely boyfriend and some newfound will to live, and seeing as my url is what it is, it sent me down a spiral of “i think i prefer novel!canon in general but you can pry show!xie wang from my cold dead third hand”

#max.txt #hmmm many thoughts #b: tian ya ke #s: word of honor #meta #ish?????? not really ig

[tungtung-thanawat]

What drives me entirely feral about the 'there is light on your body - let me catch it' line is that - that is all that Zishu has ever wanted. To bring light where there is darkness. And yes, literally anyone but his nefarious selfish cousin could have told him that choosing assassin as a profession was the least efficient way of doing that. So unsurprisingly he's failed completely and it took him a decade to notice that all he did was bring darkness to the people he loves.

And then Wen Kexing uses what he thought was his dying breathe to unknowingly fulfill Zishu's wish and Zishu - broken and hopeless as he is - finally knows what it feels like to be someone's light. And suddenly as soon as he got it he's about to lose it.

So when Zishu desperately reaches out for Wen Kexing's hand to give him the light, the path to humanity that Wen Kexing so desperately craved - Zishu was really fulfilling both of their wishes and both of their dreams. That they are exactly what the other needs and was missing from their lives is what makes them such compelling soulmates 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#wenzhou meta #word of honor meta #everyday i wake up and i have feelings #it is ruining my life #also I have this thought once every 3 days so my apologies if I’ve posted something similar before

[mtkay13]

Two illustrations of the "are you sincere?" scene, TYK, chapter 65.

More words below! VERY VERY LONG POST AHEAD

It's probably one of the most famous scenes of the book, considering it's the closest to an actual, outspoken declaration of feelings. Funnily enough, my first reaction to the scene was that of frustration, since WenZhou get once again interrupted, and the running gag + horniness distracted me from everything else that was going on in that scene which I now consider to be truly incredible, imo.

Those two illustrations, but mainly the second one, mainly take from one small paragraph in particular, but I will elaborate a little bit on other parts as well. First, though, a translation of the scene:

[...] Wen Kexing raised his head, looked at him. The lamp's light softening Zhou Zishu's chiselled features shone through his eyes, and Wen Kexing was lost in thoughts— He felt like he and this man had known each other for such a long time. From the moment he'd noticed his shoulderblades, felt this rush of excitement, to when he'd started liking who Zhou Zishu was, when he'd thought——so this is the Commander of Tian Chuang. Suddenly, he'd felt as if he'd met his other self. Both of them, lone wolves caught in a hunter's trap, struggling for freedom to no avail, until they had resolved to coldly gnawing off their own legs in the end. He'd felt compelled to follow him around, watched him, until he suddenly realised—if Zhou Zishu could live like this, then surely, so could he? He thought, and thought, until he fell, fell deep until he couldn't climb out anymore. Wen Kexing absent-mindedly reached out to gently caress Zhou Zishu's face, only brushing him with his fingertips. He felt a slight chill from contact of Zhou Zishu's rough skin against his own palm littered with scars and callouses. All of a sudden, he blurted: "Don't die. Should you die and leave me behind, I would be so lonely..." Zhou Zishu grasped his wrist, but didn't shake him off. He smiled: "As long as there is the slightest chance for me to live, I won't die. My life is mine, my gong-fu is mine. The Heavens granted me this fate, and taking it back from me won't be that easy." Zhou Zishu's breath brushed against Wen Kexing's fingers. He squinted, then said, seemingly deep in thoughts: "Once upon a time, an owl knocked over the bowl of red water carried by a villager..." Zhou Zishu looked at him and, his expression unchanged, he gently asked the question he'd already asked before: "Why was the villager carrying a bowl of red water?" Wen Kexing's lips slowly stretched into a smile, and he answered: "Water is colourless, but should blood trickle into it, wouldn't it turn red?" Zhou Zishu still looked at him but remained quiet. As if Wen Kexing's spirits had suddenly returned to him, his faraway gaze coming back into focus.

"Ah-Xu, you should sleep with me once," Wen Kexing said, his eyes smiling up into crescent moons. "This way, we'll have each other in our hearts; so you won't die so easily, and neither will I. How does that sound?" His tone was playful, but Zhou Zishu didn't banter back; he merely watched Wen Kexing with an odd glint in his eyes, and after a moment, he asked: "Are you sincere?" Wen Kexing chuckled, leaned forward so that his breath was brushing against Zhou Zishu's lips: "Can't you tell, if I'm sincere or not?" Zhou Zishu faintly startled, before he replied in a low voice: "I... I really can't. I haven't seen much sincerity in my life, and can hardly discern it. So, are you?" Wen Kexing's fingers climbed up along the curve of Zhou Zishu's shoulder, and he tugged his bun loose. His black, silky hair cascaded down, at once making the hardened man appear a few shades more fragile. Wen Kexing's playful smile faded, and in a soft, yet deeply grounded voice, he said: "I am." He closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to Zhou Zishu's, finally lifting the heavy turmoil from his heart. Zhou Zishu slowly reached up, a long moment passing before he rested his hand upon Wen Kexing's shoulder, gripping his robes with his fingers. [...]

Phew that was a bit long but it felt necessary! TL by me.

Obviously, the second illustration is based on this passage:

"Wen Kexing's fingers climbed up along the curve of Zhou Zishu's shoulder, and he tugged his bun loose. His black, silky hair cascaded down, at once making the hardened man appear a few shades more fragile," which I have lost my mind about too many times to count. I feel like the contrast between this and the mention of Zhou Zishu's rough skin, and his assured words above, is very cool.

About the scene itself, while I guess it's mostly self-explanatory, I feel like mentioning what particularly touches me here:

I think that Wen Kexing's impression of Zhou Zishu, his freedom, "the way he lives", is really the core of what moved Wen Kexing in the first place. It is also echoing that scene, back in Dongting, when Wen Kexing watches Zhou Zishu lazily sitting in a restaurant, feeling what could be interpreted as resentment or envy when he sees how free he looks.

Wen Kexing unconsciously halted his steps. He stared at Zhou Zishu’s relaxed silhouette for a while, with no trace of an expression in his face or eyes. His heart swelled with some strange feeling—strange, in that it was no feeling at all. He felt as though this man was mocking him with this wordless posture; he who rushed around for one thing or another, who was burdened with so many cares, yet obstinately put on a devil-may-care persona. Zhou Xu—as carefree as duckweed, he thought, with a body like willow catkins. In all the world, with its boundless perspectives, where could you find someone who walked their path alone and never allowed anything to trouble them?

(TL by Lianzi)

Wen Kexing longs for him, to be like him, to be free like him; they both came to having to hurt themselves to be free of their shackles, but Zhou Zishu kept living freely afterwards.

By evoking the red water, the past he could never tell straightforwardly, I think that Wen Kexing is expressing how this past of him has been his shackles and how now, he wishes to follow along, to follow Zhou Zishu in his freedom.

And then, Zhou Zishu's words—they almost feel like his own confession, to me. Later, by the tree as well, his words refer to life, the will to live, and not being really direct, it sounds like his way of telling Wen Kexing, "I am serious about you." Wen Kexing was the first one to hold onto his life, to want for Zishu to live, and now Zishu follows along.

His words feel so powerful, and said so straightforwardly, baring himself to Wen Kexing like that, it makes so much sense for me to expect, finally, a proper confession from him as well, considering how each and every one of Wen Kexing's declarations have so far been over the top, jokey or deflected one way or another. Of course, I also think that Zishu does feel some form of insecurity, does need reassurance, and is gambling a lot here, but I guess... he's essentially worked to bare himself and expects the same in return.

ANYWAY. I think this is a gorgeous scene. I DO think, for balance, that the ending is a bit abrupt and that they would have deserved for Priest not to undermine the emotions right away—for that does take away from it a bit and distracts (calling back, once again, to the tired running gag of "oops they're interrupted). Not that the joke shouldn't have come up, but it could have waited a bit more.

But yeah! Thanks for reading!

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #wen kexing #wenzhou #tyk #wkx #zzs #meta

[jeriafterdark]

Word of Honor Concept Art by lead designer 韩广仁- Really they look like they enjoyed the process so much, and it actually made it into reality. The costumes are one of the few areas where WOH spent a large portion of their tiny tiny budget. And it definitely paid off!

#word of honor #shan he ling #wen kexing #costumes #concept art #zhou zishu #liu qian qiao #wenzhou #woh meta

[mejomonster]

I’m relieved to find out when i finish case 3 in silent reading the translation still has a part 4 AND extras ToT

like god i admire priest SO much. i think in many ways the writing choices in silent reading are SO ballsy. especially now that i know what publishers push toward regarding standard/norms look like all other novels don't deviate dont be brave or unique. like i know priest self published online THEN gets a print deal but like. to decide you as a public commented on author with a HUGE following where ppl buy your chapters? is gonna write THIS? 

its brave i think. its brave to trust an audience to read 77 chapters of truly fucked up crime story thats main point IS TO critique the world and justice and human nature. before you get into the romance danmei readers most wanted. to make readers both feel bad for and terrified of a little girl. to remind readers every poor immigrant with a bad life who dies is a TRAGEDY and a horrible loss that society has too much allowed. to remind readers that the justice system fails to bring many people closure or help. 

(babes below the cut turned into a MEGA meta on zhoudu and their completely different views on the world)

and THEN of course the LEADS priest decides to write arcs for in this. its ballsy to write a lead the other lead thinks might be capable of being a killer. to write a man objectively with as many red flags as. fei du as THE lead. like? think of 2ha and the people who hate mo ran too much to try it even just hearing of mo ran lol. fei du objectively in some ways is HARDER to empathize with and view as 'an ordinary relatable man'. mo ran when you take that hes been abused is mainly just a kid who wanted to help people typical xianxia hero style and gain power for revenge on REALLY cruel people in a really cruel Fucked up world he lives in thats painted as so much worse than our real earth world. 

fei du? well he outwardly is pretty so i guess like the strangers he meets people tolerate that. but the little we get of our past lets us know he killed animals with his hands (and again its as BRAVE a writing choice as the lead in kdrama Flower of Evil who’s raised by a serial killer and trained to be like him and unable to empathize with others and he fights so HARD to be a good person but he’s no one’s definition of a safe guy to trust - but somehow he met his wife and had a daughter and loves them so dearly and he IS and has always been a good man and good kid who went through awful stuff because people were afraid of his inability to emotionally connect and his abused background). Fei du is like HIM. Fei Du self harms to an intense degree, trying to curb impulses trained in him from a young age and a natural propensity mixed with a raising teaching him and Hammering into him that death is the only absolute to feel comfort in. He could’ve become a murderer, an abuser, in the sense of his father pushing him toward it and so many things could’ve affected it - like luo wenzhou simply being not there. Fei du is fighting before anything else, himself and his own fears about himself and who he is and who he even wants to be ultimately. Mo Ran gets cursed and becomes an evil emperor, and without that was a brute revenge okay-with man (and a black lotus trope so honestly more tolerable as a violent rage fest reading-norm wise). But fei du? is just an ordinary modern man working in an office who thinks it would be nice to choke someone and watch them break down hopeless. Who’s probably felt and thought everything su luozhan did (now i’m losing track... there’s things to be said for mo ran and his abuse making him cruel and lash out like fei du and su luozhan too...but moving on for now). fei du is a realistic ‘monster.’ or an almost one. he’s a man who if taken for all he is, much of society would want removed and taken away, or see as an inevitable evil of a rich man who can’t be stopped by most. he’s like Flower of Evil’s lead and the bad rich kid who lashed out and killed people, combined into one. 

priest makes him understandable, because priest is amazing at writing very good characters and depicting them and showing their nuances and evolution. and also because luo wenzhou loves him unconditionally. luo wenzhou chooses to love the hurting child, and in doing so comes to see fei du for all the multitudes of value he has as a person, for the treasure he is in ALL of himself with the bad and the good as a whole. (sort of like Flower of Evil main characters sister always loved him and saw him as her little brother needlessly hurt by the world, or the wife who eventually realized the man she loved was part of it and is real its just hes more than she knew before - luo wenzhou is both in one). and because luo wenzhou can see him, all of him, and love and appreciate all of it even EVEN when it horrifies him? even when he thinks and knows its beyond the scope of acceptable or normal, even when he’s hearing fei du lose himself in a viewpoint of the world that is so FAR from luo wenzhous ability to understand or view it. luo wenzhou STILL thinks - how do i reach out so we connect and meet halfway, even if i have to wade into that dark and try to understand, even if i have to explain the regular world like its fantastically rare and incomprehensible to him until he gets how other people like me feel. luo wenzhou thinks: no matter who he is, in fact with ALL of who he is, i’m going to go up to fei du and connect to him, we are going to eat and be okay, we are going to carve out a life together and feel whole and safe and connected there. and so for all fei du is, when we are given luo wenzhou’s fathomless endless care for him it’s impossible not to also open our hearts to fei du. to assume no matter how different he is from us or feels things, or how inhuman or whatever, he’s a an amazing individual and worthy of being understood and accepted into our care too. because luo wenzhou’s viewpoint is hard to fight. even if we think luo wenzhou were wrong, if we didn’t get sucked in, we can’t fight the fact luo wenzhou unconditionally feels this and it won’t change, it will drive the story. 

there’s the choice priest made, to make an ‘ordinary’ enough hero of a story (a policeman - legal official solving crimes - who is almost superhero like in his original desire to help people and bring justice, who still ignores wounds and tries to be Larger than Life and do More than the average man, trying to save even with his very real human faults of a nepotism parentage and a short temper in his youth and a naivety he had to lose). he’s old but not jaded, he’s realistic and skilled now but still driven to give out justice, still hurts in his heart when he can’t help someone enough. and it all kicks off with a kid named fei du, and luo wenzhou wanting to heroically bring him justice and closure and save him like Superhero savior of the Cosmos young luo wenzhou did... and failing. failing. failing and having the realization he WILL fail people, legal justice is sometimes impossible or has dead ends and horrible things happen with no resolution and no one saved, and still wanting to care about fei du, wanting to do his best to help him even when it will Never ever be enough. Fei du will NEVER be saved. can not be saved. the damage has already been done (and after the basement scene, luo wenzhou realizes even into adulthood, even once fei du’s dad was in a coma, luo wenzhou still couldn’t even protect fei du from Himself, yet another way luo wenzhou can never be that Cosmic Superhero, not even that local guardian to one single boy, he loves fei du unconditionally and that does NOT mean he’ll ever be enough to protect him or undo the damage). 

but luo wenzhou tries anyway. and its in that trying, that is so worth it. it’s not the outcome, its the act of trying, the ‘ceremony’ and how it means he cares. how it means he views fei du as worthy of it (and he really views by extension so MANY worthy of it who he also can or can’t help to varying degrees, and it rubbed off on fei du, because now hes the kind of man who also finds it awful a poor young man named He zhongyi dies and is willing to go to any lengths to try and get justice for him, for any particular person). Anyway, the point is luo wenzhou is an understandable hero typical of his story type. His heroics are the super-detectives who want to save everyone, his failings are the cops like Lee Dong Sik in Beyond Evil who take their small tasks seriously and are aware they may never save their world or Do Enough and justice can fail but they’re still making Their Choices every day, their baggage and damage and aged lessons coming along. He is an ordinary enough choice for a lead. His most remarkable trait in my mind, that makes him stand out, is his decision once upon a time to care about fei du unconditionally. its a choice a parent makes when they adopt, a bodyguard makes in a fantasy tale when they decide to dedicate their life to their ruler, in a realism grounded story like Silent Reading real life red flags just usually keep such a decision from being made.

Take Flower of Evil - its normal for the wife to be suspicious her husband is a killer and investigate it before ultimately picking his side. Take Beyond Evil - Juwon is younger and has fucked up, but Lee Dong Sik makes fucked decisions he doesn’t expect of the younger, makes the choice to cross lines he feels the younger shouldn’t and maybe no one should but he’s too far gone to quit his path now. Luo Wenzhou sees fei du, the teenager, making death threats and you can’t abandon your own kid. But it’s not his kid, its a stranger like su luozhan who’s killed something, lashing out and feeling unlike other humans and without any real parent who gave them unconditional love (maybe fei du had his mom once a week when she was alive but with health issues and spousal issues and dad’s nonstop threat of a presence on them, fei du was not getting that secure unconditional love environment). its a stranger completely, and luo wenzhou just decides to love him anyway. 

So why’s he a brave writing choice? to use a character like luo wenzhou who does decide to love someone like that unconditionally. before the romance even starts. he’s not fei du’s family, he’s not fei du’s mentor until he Chooses to be, he’s not fei du’s lover when he makes the decision or long time spouse (like in Flower of Evil), he’s not a man who’s got enough shared experiences to understand fei du’s perspective (in fact it terrifies luo wenzhou the gulf there is between each other’s experience and view of the world). but luo wenzhou, the man that he is, chooses to love fei du unconditionally. 

it makes sense for his character of course, because priest is good at writing characters. while luo wenzhou fits the relative norm for his genre, it also makes sense his particular life leads him to a choice i rarely see in these stories. He’s an idealistic naive rash ‘hero’ rookie cop. He sees a child cope with the death of his mom and his world shatter, look at him with an intense resolve that BEGS Luo Wenzhou to BE the hero that can give fei du justice. Luo Wenzhou, the rookie who think himself Hero of the Galaxy, has been dealing with petty crime and this is one of (or possibly the FIRST) time anyone has given him the responsibility and Ability to attempt to serve justice on this scale. This is his first opportunity to SOLVE a possible murder, GIVE someone closure, and truly change their life on such a scale. Of course heroic-dreaming Luo Wenzhou, thinking himself important and inhumanly capable of anything to help someone, takes up that look fei du gives him and decides “then I will give you the justice you need. I will resolve this for you.” A character like him? what other choice would he make.

And fei du is both the first time the world gives him the chance to be the Big Hero Savior he wanted to be, and the reality check that he can NOT be that Hero. That such a heroic feat is impossible, is unreasonable, is not something anyone will be able to live up to forever without fail - especially him, who turns out is lacking much of what he needs to succeed. But even if he had ALL the tools to succeed: even if Luo Wenzhou had ALREADY been a Captain, with rich influential and politically powerful allies, and had been able to legally adopt fei du and take actual political action against fei du’s dad? Even if he HAD all that, luo wenzhou would not have been able to save fei du - from the pain of his childhood, from the loss of his mom, the mystery was too hard to be solved at the time (or luo wenzhou of stubbornness i believe would’ve found a way to solve it), or from fei du’s own self hatred and self harm (just given how privately fei du keeps part of himself - he kept so much from luo wenzhou and probably always would’ve). 

So even with everything, Luo Wenzhou would’ve failed. And at least failing then, as a rookie, he learned he WASN’T superman, he wasn’t infailable and Enough to save people inherently, and took the experience that he’d have to WORK and struggle and fight every single TIME to truly try and save people with him as he was promoted and gained power. That failure made him a better savior for future victims he’d help: because he’d be self aware that failure was possible, and helping others was going to be a struggle and require All his dedication every time, and is never a guarantee. 

Luo Wenzhou picking fei du changed their lives. He failed fei du (and always would have) and in doing so it made him a better person to help people moving forward. and in the moment he chose to try and save fei du, an impossible thing with no Real Guarantee (as Luo Wenzhou would learn later and not ever promise so freely with certainty again), fei du DID see him as a savior. As a hope. As the first guardian angel in his life, the first belief that ANYONE outside of himself could help him. Could fix anything in his life - could explain why his mom who loved him would choose to leave him, could explain if it was his own fault for not loving her ‘enough’ or being too monstrous or if it was someone else’s fault, who could take his father to justice for the awful things he’d done when to fei du his father was the god of his world able to kill and do anything and make fei du do Anything no matter how awful. For the first time, fei du truly had a hope in something able to HELP him. And Luo Wenzhou failed. And fei du experienced both a temporary believe in the kind of “justice is served to the evil, help is provided to the innocent” that children usually simplistically learn at first but he never did (because his father didn’t teach him that but that the predators do what they want). and then experienced a cold harsh horrible shock that it WAS a lie, that the person telling him to believe it - luo wenzhou - was wrong. that fei du’s view of the world was “correct” and the false hero he’d believed in, luo wenzhou, was a fool who believed falsehoods and couldn’t do anything real. that no one Could help fei du. 

and yet. despite all that. despite that failure shaping them both. it also tied them together. for all luo wenzhou failed, he still decided Inexplicably to be responsible for it. Instead of taking the loss, he went on to keep helping fei du. Caring. With Tao Ran as a contrast, its clear how excessive those actions were compared to the norm. Luo Wenzhou dragged Tao Ran into helping him take Fei Du after school, so fei du was rarely left alone in an empty house, into taking him out for food so he’d eat when the help at his house didn’t cook, these are all the acts of a godfather or a makeshift caretaker. They’re more than a responsible police officer should’ve ever gotten involved in a victim’s life - the most luo wenzhou should’ve appropriately done, was maybe call child services and insist and fight that no matter ‘how rich older master fei was’ the child still was in an enviornment that needs either an after school program for some socialization and social support, or a caretaker to move in, or if at all possible to get to live with a different guardian. But Luo wenzhou, knowing what’s appropriate, couldn’t abandon that ‘idealic heroic’ persona he learned failed and was unrealistic, still trying adamantly to be it for fei du. Even failure after failure. He would’ve adopted fei du probably, possibly, if the person he’d been fighting for custody against hadn’t been so filthy rich he’d have never had a chance. (never mind the legal issues im sure would keep him from getting custody, but the intent was there). He took fei du in as much as possible for their circumstances, then expanded that to full on parenting. To checking fei du’s report cards, to making sure he ate right, to checking on his healthcare, to commenting on his dating life as he grew up into a playboy partier, to insisting he pick a career, to worrying how he adjusted when his dad died and he had to take the business, to giving him gifts for birthdays and just cause (both secretly and also full on remembering his birthday when others didn’t), to the simpleness of scolding fei du like a regular teen caught cursing when he’d threaten violent, the simpleness of taking the Extreme-ness of fei du’s worse personality moments and simply saying ‘well whatever fucked up stuff you did or want to do, come sit down and have dinner, come on and join me.’ i care about you. lets eat. i accept you into our little family of two no matter what, and every meal is a ceremony reminding you this is permanent and secure and always here for you. 

luo wenzhou can’t save fei du as a child, can’t save him as an adult from himsel, can’t save him throughout of a great many deal awful things. but he can give him a safe stable eternal home in the both of them, that is always ALWAYS there. always opening it’s doors, always mobile and coming to fei du when he feels isolated and abandoned and like he doesn’t even belong to the same world, it exists everywhere. it’s his. its a thing he never had before luo wenzhou. but it exists now. and it is THAT which luo wenzhou can provide. 

He can’t save fei du from the many horrors of the world, from the monsters within himself. But he can give fei du a home that exists no matter what horrors exist or happen, a home that fei du will always belong IN no matter how monstrous he is, no matter what he’s done or what happens. 

Maybe once upon a time the end of the week with his mom, had been the closest fei du had to that kind of ‘home.’ Some safe place where he was loved even with everything different about him, with the fucked up views his dad pressed on him, with the way he felt different from others and uncomprehending of the world. His mom, fleetingly, would be there with the house made ready for him, would be happy to see him and simply be with him. 

Luo Wenzhou carved out a home for him after that, when he lost that, and made it permanent. It exists nonstop, always, whenever fei du is with luo wenzhou. waiting for fei du when they’re apart, always open for him to return. 

wow i got distracted in zhoudu dynamic stuff lol. back to whatever the point was... priest writing brave. so. while i love all of zhoudu’s very grey area roles filled up and overlapping dynamic. i think the above portion explains well WHY it makes sense for them. Why their dynamic makes sense it would happen, from luo wenzhou’s perspective. why luo wenzhou would choose to do it, and how it would end with him and fei du connecting deeply. 

Because that’s the kind of man luo wenzhou is and that’s where he was in his life, in the perfect place to make 1 single heroic Ideal decision and fail, but still feel too attached to actually quit and cut his losses. He could never cut the loss that was ‘failing fei du.’ he had to keep providing the only consolation he could, a home for fei du, even if he could provide nothing more. To Luo Wenzhou he will always be Fei Du’s very mortal and flawed Guardian Angel who couldn’t move heaven to save him or help him, but still took the job as his life’s work. And to Fei Du he will always be that very mortal Guardian Angel who lied that he was Strong enough when he wasn’t, when angels don’t exist and he was just a man, when justice doesn’t exist only this lying flawed incapable Luo Wenzhou trying to act like there is still justice. But to Fei Du, flaws and all, it’s still his Guardian Angel despite it all. In his world there are no angels, no true heroes. But this person is trying to be one, in Fei Du’s fucked up world where none exist, anyway. Luo Wenzhou is still trying to be one for him. And that’s worth something because it has MEANING, the choice to try to be an angel in a world with NONE means something, its the effort that counts. It’s the ceremony of doing it, the act, that means everything. (As luo wenzhou’s final lines in i think chapter ~79 hammer home).

Their dynamic makes sense, for them. Of course it’s where they’d end up, how they’d develop. How they’d get so enmeshed and close and Bigger Than People to each other (both symbolic Roles to each other while being gravely aware their symbol is actually just a flawed human who will never live up to it). To Fei Du, Luo Wenzhou will always be a Guardian Angel and that IS just a weak human who will fail the job. To Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du will always be his charge to Save, even though saving him is impossible, even though he’s failed for 7 years, even though fei du will never let him and both of them are More Than Aware this mission is impossible. Luo Wenzhou knows fei du is not a charge, was never one - or only one for the first time until Luo Wenzhou first failed. 

Fei Du is a grown man who has done bad things, horrible things to himself, who views the world so differently from Luo Wenzhou his morality might not even be able to compare with his, who is a man he can’t fully understand but tries to reach out any try to anyway. Every single time. What a brave choice. To be commited to unconditionally loving someone and trying to understand them, even painfully knowing you never will. We may truly never be able to understand another person completely. But in these two’s case, they truly have such different internal worlds, it is a painful point for them both that they really never will exist in the other’s world and grasp it fully. 

Fei Du is brave too. He knows Luo Wenzhou is an ordinary man, who belongs to the world most people understand and accept as reality. He knows he’ll never understand Luo Wenzhou, will always see some of Luo Wenzhou’s beliefs as lies or falsehoods most people seem to believe or assume or operate based on that Fei Du will never ever understand or connect to or operate under unless he tries very hard to force himself to act unnaturally. In a way, it is like an Angel loving a Demon. In reality they both realize they’re not an angel and devil - Luo Wenzhou realizes he’s painfully human and incapable, Fei Du doesn’t see himself as a demon he just thinks all humans are truly this way or walking-corpses unaware of it and Luo Wenzhou is another deluded soul lying to himself or simply way too uncomprehending to ever see the ‘truth’ of the world the way Fei Du is Only capable of seeing it. But Fei Du sees his own awareness as monstrous, in that it makes him a monster to those ordinary people and their entire world framework. And yet to Luo Wenzhou, he’s not a monster for it, just another flawed imperfect person like Luo Wenzhou is. They put themselves into the Roles of Angel and Demon, while knowing its partly untrue but unable to stop living that way when it comes to each other. Fei Du can’t help seeing Luo Wenzhou as an angel, in the warped way he’d view one in his world - a deluded hero who’s incapable, but still the closest thing to any angel in Fei Du’s world could exist. Fei Du can’t help seeing himself as a Demon, even though it’s normal to him he can’t shake the awareness its how he’d be in Luo Wenzhou (ordinary people’s) framework of the world. And then they meet in the middle somehow. And somehow even existing in different realities cause they perceive the world SO differently, Fei Du somehow catches a glimpse of himself in Luo Wenzhou’s worldviews: an innocent. An ordinary man. Not a demon, not even different from others. But someone who could and DOES exist in Luo Wenzhou’s world where people who are hurt deserve justice and people attempt to give them it, where cruelty is not the norm and not comprehensible to the masses. Fei Du isn’t compatible with that world - he’s not comprehensible to them. But somehow Luo Wenzhou can look at him, and place fei du into that world. And for the moment they’re together Fei Du EXISTS in both worlds. Is brought into the world outside his, that he can’t be part of or relate to or understand, and see as if he’s like Luo Wenzhou almost. And he wants to be one of the people providing justice to those who are harmed, one of the people who views cruelty outside of the norm and combats it. Could he do this, view things this way, if Luo Wenzhou didn’t connect their worlds by being connected to Fei Du?

And in contrast, in Fei Du’s world the cruelty is the norm, there is no one innocent only those harmed and those self aware enough they also cause it. There is no justice, only an attempt of power and control until the inevitable death. People like Luo Wenzhou cannot exist. In Fei Du’s mind, people like Luo Wenzhou can at most only be struggling helplessly against nature, hurting themselves by prodding other violent people, giving no justice because there’s no way to give it, just struggling to fight for an outcome that is impossible to provide. But because its Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du’s worldview shifts to accomodate him: Luo Wenzhou is a pathetic man fighting for an outcome that can never occur... but he keeps trying anyway. And because he’s Fei Du’s personal angel, even though angels can’t exist here in fei du’s view of the world? Fei Du almost wants to believe maybe there’s worthiness in someone trying anyway. To be like an angel. To do what nothing in his world does, want what can’t be achieved in his view of the world. And that’s where their worlds connect. Where Fei Du’s world connects to Luo Wenzhou’s and lets a sliver of Luo Wenzhou into his as something Possible. And is that why Fei Du wades into the water of doing work like Luo Wenzhou? Is that why he cares when a son dies and leaves a mom behind. In his world to care is illogical and pointless and has no use. But Luo Wenzhou IS in Fei Du’s world, and he cares. So Fei Du feels like... maybe he’ll care too, even if it is useless. He’ll let himself care still, like Luo Wenzhou cares. 

There is use in the ACT of caring. Even if it changes nothing. There is worth in the act of caring, even if it fails to save anyone or stop harm. Is that one of the themes of Silent Reading I wonder... its certainly a theme of these two’s relationship.

It’s the point of Luo Wenzhou trying to explain to Fei Du what their connection is. It’s the connection of their worlds - Luo Wenzhou in our usually normally accepted one, and Fei Du in his hopeless one. It’s also the connecting point of their personalities - through knowing each other they’ve both developed a level of caring. Caring despite finding it cannot save, cannot stop the awful things that have happened and will later. 

And so we get to a point where Fei Du cares about Luo Wenzhou, even though Wenzhou failed him and still does. Even though Luo Wenzhou will never fully understand him or the world he exists in. 

I never realized just how wholly separate their concepts of the worlds they exist in were till I wrote this damn. 

>>I keep losing the point in zhoudu meta lmao. Anyway back to priest. What I am impressed by (among many things), is priest writes that kind of dynamic as mentioned above. The ‘normal ordinary hero’ type Luo Wenzhou who can never connect to the kind of person/world Fei Du exists in, and vice versa. But somehow they meet halfway and see through the keyhole of the other person’s world anyway. Take one step in, while still being unable to enter the other’s world and abandon their own. It’s impossible. But it is. Because they choose to do it, no matter how impossible it is. 

And its this relationship that outside on paper on some novel summary is the tags idk older/younger, rich/gruff, cruel/heroic whatever. When I walked in once upon a time, with the impression from a tagged summary it was going to be a cold genuis with a fascination for analysing cruelty, and a heroic gruff type combatting him and helping him ‘grow a heart’ I did not expect this kind of deep relationship dynamic i actually got. I didn’t expect a relationship that’s part caretaker/child, part opponents striving to fight yet it’s to connect their irreconcilable worlds, part lovers who were already closer than usual lovers before the romance even enters the picture. I didn’t expect 7 years of failing each other, but still being unconditional care there. Fei Du is not just a ‘cold genius’ he’s given the traits of a man from a world where he sees himself as the ordinary monster of it, and he will never ‘grow a heart’ and come to see the world like Luo Wenzhou (I’m 70% through the novel but i don’t think he will). And Luo Wenzhou for all his physical actions is not a gruff man with a ‘warm heart’ a la some sweetie pie emotional warm hero. He was an idealistic idiot who got a reality shock he wasn’t Superman, who grew into a realist. He is a guardian angel who is not actually an angel and KNOWS he isn’t but can’t stop himself from trying to be for Fei Du, the first and only time he tried to be one, refusing to quit this mission even though it’s been lost a million times and it’s painful for both of them for him to keep pretending he’s an angel instead of a man. Luo Wenzhou’s warm emotional ‘hopes and ideals’ don’t touch Fei Du and ‘change him’ (although Fei Du trying to understand Luo Wenzhou’s pov at least does open him up to witnessing Tao Ran’s idealism and kindness even though he finds it naive). 

While their failures with each other certainly change them, they don’t actually change the core of each other - they are permanently too distinctly different people who see the world in an incompatibly different way. Growing up with Luo Wenzhou certainly influenced Fei Du’s behaviors, and gave him a peek into seeing the world differently, but he still ultimately exists mainly in his own world. Even with shared experiences together now, working together, it’s not shifting Luo Wenzhou into a person who sees the world as inherently cruel and monstrous like Fei Du, and its not shifting Fei Du into seeing justice as natural and possible. In some couple stories the worldviews would gradually mesh as the shared experiences grew - but no, not with these two. 

The beauty of their relationship is they Will exist in their separate worlds, their incompatible worldviews and interpretations of it. But they still connect. They still carved out this space of a home together, that exists in both worlds. That has a window to each other’s worlds where they ask the other to explain what that unimaginable window’s view means, how the hell the other person is interpreting it because they don’t see it the same way. This shared home, that lets them concieve of a world where the other person can and DOES exist in their world. Fei Du sees himself as a monster in a world where it’s natural, and where angels don’t exist let alone just heroes - but Luo Wenzhou is in his world. Impossibly. He’s there, he’s part of it, he’s relentless, and he always will be. In Luo Wenzhou’s world, Fei Du exists and is just as inevitably part of it as Luo Wenzhou is. Even though Fei Du can’t conceive of existing in Luo Wenzhou’s kind of world - luo wenzhou sees Fei Du WITH him there, dragging him in by refusing to accept that Fei Du couldn’t be there. 

Fei Du’s heart (in my prediction anyway lol) is not going to grow 3 sizes and decide justice is possible, is expected, and he’s an ordinary person who thinks like the others and feels wronged when he’s not given help and doesn’t instinctively think cold things. But Fei Du’s heart, despite himself and knowing Luo Wenzhou lied about being an angel in Fei Du’s world where none exists and failing him, holds a permanent space for Luo Wenzhou. A permanent part of him lets itself open the window to what Luo Wenzhou sees, and even though Fei Du simply can’t understand it, he lets the wind come in. Lets the idea drift through his own world: that for all justice is impossible, try to fight to do justice anyway. Try to conceive that people deserve it anyway, even if there is no way they do. Just humor the idea. Try anyway. It’s okay to try, even if the result will fail. Luo Wenzhou tries anyway, so you Fei Du can indulge in trying too despite it all. Fei Du’s heart has Luo Wenzhou in it, broken through the window and bringing the breeze, residing warmly in it and bringing all the ‘idealistic-fictional’ warmth from the world ‘other ordinary society thinks’ and decorates. Brings warm cooked noodles, shrimp, sweet candy so sweet its better than Fei Du’s world but here IT IS. Brings hope and determination and belief that doesn’t exist in Fei Du’s world, but here it is, in residence in his heart, with good smells that make him hungry, that taste like nothing that’s supposed to exist. And Fei Du thinks: its a lie, it can’t exist, it can’t be this good, it can’t be permanent... it must be an illusion or something that will crumble later. But its Luo Wenzhou... so Fei Du tries indulging the temporary goodness anyway, even if it WILL crumble. Like how Luo Wenzhou will still fail. Even so, even though this is nicer than any dinner in his world with his mom and dad had been, so much nicer he believes it impossible and a lie and just as hard to rely on as trying to grab the wind. He’ll still sit down and accept it for the experience it is. Because Luo Wenzhou brought it and said it was their home. And even if it makes no sense, somehow in their shared point of connection - this place where their worlds can almost overlap? It’s worth it to try. It’s the act of trying that’s important, not the outcome later. Not what’s possible or impossible. But that here, they can coexist somehow. That they tried very hard to carve out this home right here. They can be brave enough to believe the other sometimes about their other worlds, even if they can never move into the other’s. Try to go on faith on the other person, and try out the other person’s way of living in their very different world, even though it makes no sense. 

It’s a love story about yes, being seen as all of who you are and still loved unconditionally (something often appealing in fiction romance). But also like. Its this heavy reality of No, actually, you will NOT ever be seen completely and understood completely by another person. We are not Fei Du and we are not usually seeing the world and it’s ‘laws’ as so drastically different as him. But like him, when we meet people even as close as we may become, as much as we share, another person will truly never see and feel exactly as we do. Words are imperfect, people’s past experiences and personalities are all different, people can’t read your mind and see your history and feel your emotions. There is no perfect fullproof way to get someone to truly understand you completely. And that’s okay. You can be loved, you can connect, even when that’s true. There is worth in making connections, even if we will ever only be understood imperfectly, only partly be able to view the world or something the same way. Even if someone can’t understand why X is that way about you or why you can’t believe Y the same way they do (even when you try your best to). There is space in all of us to find a way to still love whole heartedly, to choose to Try to understand. There is power in choosing to try, and keep choosing to, even though it’s an impossible endeavor to ever fully accomplish. Like Luo Wenzhou, we choose anyway. Like Fei Du, we realize there’s worth in just the act of trying. Even if we are never fully seen, can never fully grasp the other, there’s care there. The care builds a space for us to connect. A space for us to feel close enough, safe and loved. 

#silent reading #lb #meta #zhoudu #zhoufei #WELL this turned into a mega zhoudu meta and character analysis #character analysis #i will say though. damn. #i think this is true of many (possibly all of priests works but i havent read all) of priests novels #is that they really CAN be delved into analysis wise as works of literature #Silent Reading alone? It has a LOT to say about society and justice and our expectations we're raised on #versus how society really acts. versus the unique ways individuals VARY WILDLY in their perception of it #which i didnt even go into in this meta. but in a Literature Class that'd probably be the main theme. #but then also? fei du and luo wenzhou really ARE doing something so unique with their dynamic that's worth discussing #the fact that like they DO put each other on pillars. while also being self aware those pillars are LIES. and then yet they keep #functioning as if both aware the other are only human AND still putting faith in the pillars they put them on #the fact that in this story the two NEVER reconcile their worldviews into one shared one more or less. which usually happens in these #stories of different ppl. think Goodbye My Princess or Love and Redemption or The Untamed - those different ppl #end up experiencing things that help them come to understand each others pov and perspective of the world. #but the thing is lwz and fd will NOT compromise or change their core world view understandings. lwz just CANT see the world #as inherently monstrous and cruel and kindness as so fleeting and impotent. its against his entire belief system and experiences and #against who he IS. and fei du just Cannot see the world like the ordinary masses. let alone like luo wenzhou who #when young saw himself as the pure idealistic super Hero. to fei du a man like luo wenzhou just Cannot exist and succeed or and just IS #wrong. but their choice to connect anyway is a bridge between worlds. they cant even see eye to eye. but they can choose to connect anyway #despite it. #and internally grow hope and awareness and motivation. even if their worlds remain the same

[aiyexayen]

The shiny link said to ask you things so here I am. What's ur fav outfits for each of WKX and ZZS?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING although this is a very difficult question, given how many thoughts and feelings i have about their outfits. i've never tried to boil it down to favourites, but i'm going to go on a small journey and see if i can do it.

(1/5)

zishu first. devastating intro.

this outfit makes me nostalgic for my first watchthrough. it's sexy, and i really like the way we see wenzhou both in red before anything else. but it lacks a kind of depth in the same way the unknown character does to us; it's a first impression. certainly a good one but just can't be my top favourite outfit.

his second tianchuang outfit is even better. it puts him in blue--his colour, siji shanzhuang's colour, even though it's draped in black and part of tianchuang right now. we get a lot of soul shattering emotions in this outfit as we start to learn who zhou zishu actually is, what he cares about, what he's built, who he's lost, what he is capable of doing. episode one kills me.

and then we also get a reprise of this outfit later, which is what really spikes its ranking up for me. the way he wears it subtly differently, coming full circle to finish this fight now that he's changed so much after the year he's lived. the way that blue he'd always carried with him, even into the heart of tianchuang, really stands out in stark contrast to jin-wang's red and gold.

beautiful. it's up there but doesn't quite get favourite.

and honourable mention of course are his other two we catch glimpses of in episode 1--brilliant shixiong blue accented in fUCKING green in his flashback as if he's remembering a time when he was still human, and his "i'm riding off to die now" cloak. these get NOTHING from me because i'm so sad.

moving on.

zhou zishu tries to become unobtrusive and unnoticeable and ordinary but instead he looks Like This:

and we all hate and despair and love that perfect hair shoulder blades jawline in equal measure. especially wen kexing.

comfy, rugged, unapologetically blue. this outfit introduces the flask, introduces him to wen kexing and zhang chengling, and we have some good times with it. but it's simple, and dark, and so is his view of his remaining life right now, and that hurts a bit too much.

so, next is the outfit wen kexing gives him and he's briefly suspicious but he does wear it, deciding to trust wen kexing a bit and caving in a little to the concept of being something more than he'd planned. we're expanding to two shades of blue, too, very nice.

this outfit sees us through the epic fight with the beggar gang, the heartrending siji shanzhuang flashback, the LIPS ON SHOULDER and that's not even the only reason this outfit is a top contender to the title.

because more layers means the chance to take them off. and it must be discussed how much work the under layers do in this outfit.

look at this man revealing that there is indeed more to himself, letting himself be less guarded around wen kexing. look at his smile, his playfulness, and that fucking fairytale princess that has been hiding under so many masks, perfectly offset by that pretty pale blue and that soft hairstyle.

but i'm not sure i can commit to favourite.

pin in that one, i will keep going. so, this first yueyang outfit is just So Much.

the HAT, the DRAPE, the ZHIJI-ACKNOWLEDGING, the way that gray creeps in. zhou zishu has revealed his face and in doing so has decided not to hide, in more ways than one, as he says to han ying. he's decided to deal with his shit a bit and maybe live a bit better with the time he has left. he's becoming himself and it's so much.

and as if that wasn't enough, after their big fight when it all goes wrong, zhou zishu GOES BACK to wearing THIS outfit. "let's try this again." backing up, making up, re-centering in the last place that felt more himself and then setting back out again on the right foot.

and then he sits in the miDDLE of the STREET, outer robe HALFWAY OFF HIS SHOULDER in stark contrast to the structure of the breakup-outfit, and SAYS LAO WEN'S NAME. what am i supposed to do with that. what. WHAT.

i think this one comes extremely close to being my favourite, pin in this one, too.

speaking of the breakup-outfit.

it's so shimmery, suddenly full of so much structure and colour. zhou zishu, trying to reconcile who he's been with who he wishes he could be with who he doesn't want to see lao wen become, abruptly wrapping himself up in all these layers and trappings of a man that's a different kind of shield against the pain and it doesn't really make him any less lost in the end. but damn is it pretty. i can't really put my finger on it but something about his hair and that collar. and, of course, the blood. the declaration that nobody can stop him from killing who he wants and getting what he wants. hot damn.

however, comparing it to the two top contenders for the title right now, i don't think it beats either one.

part 2

#wenzhou #have some nonsense #my meta

[pastelcheckereddreams]

Siji Manor First Drafts!

Okay but this is a cry for help, really. Lotus Pier was so easy compared to this.

I’ve spent two weeks already searching for the right film set, once it became apparent from my initial screenshot studies that Siji Manor has been filmed across multiple lots. The screenshots/reference pictures already total nearly 200.

I have deep dived many chinese websites and used Google translate more than I have in the last year alone, even though I’ve been self-studying Mandarin. I have found concept art of the “main” birdseye view - the one we see in episode 24 - and have found it on Google Earth and Tencent maps and several other Chinese map sites. (And I cannot stress enough how difficult that was, dear god. The park is newer than the others, and split into several lots, so it’s not marked on any of these maps - if its there at all. It doesn’t have a clearly dedicated page on Hengdian’s website, either, and no tourist map. I had to do sooo much sleuthing. I did find The Hanshi, though, for an unexpected boost!)

But based on the fact that I have scoured all of Hengdian’s film parks, after confirming it is indeed Hengdian and not another film studio, I still have not found the right cluster of buildings for the more private courtyard(s) - the main Siji set, consisting of Chengling’s training area, the kitchen, and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu’s rooms.

That, and the echo I hear during the single BTS clip of them in this space leads me to think that this second courtyard was entirely enclosed and built in the adjacent studio lot for this site.

So I have no birdseye view of a second site to 1) confirm layout and 2) marry with the birdseye view of the initial courtyard.

I’m going to have to get creative. I’m going to have to make it up. And that - that terrifies me a little, I’m not going to lie. The designs I have done so far have strived to be as close as possible to the shows. I still want to be as faithful as possible. But... I think a lot of it this time is up to me. 

And that terrifies me 😅

#nikkidraws #siji manor #WIP #siji shanzhuang #four seasons manor #word of honor #woh fanart #shl fanart #shan he ling #wenzhou #research #woh meta #hengdian world studios #the set drawing saga continues #creative process

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

how wen kexing and zhou zishu deal with grief always takes my breath away. the fact that zhou zishu is so susceptible towards vulnerability, so open to people in need he has to close himself off forcefully and reject them harshly. the way wen kexing could not treat zhang chengling as a person the entire time he followed zhou zishu, the entire time they were in gao manor, up to the moment they were forced into direct proximity, direct context, as people wanting to stay with zhou zishu, at which wen kexing opens to him like a flower. it makes me feral, seeing these guys, these jackasses who love to make fun of others and each other, who are so used to violence and death they are bored with it, who sometimes suspect that other’s emotional expressions are a bit too insincere because who could possibly feel so strongly? they are the same who treat zhang chengling like a baby bird fallen out of a tree, broken wing, the same who joke around and quibble with gu xiang like with a little sister, challenging and educating her without gaining anything from it, the same who are so very gentle with each other when they are in need and distress.

#so. i ended up writing a post about it. #tian ya ke #tian ya ke my beloved #tyk wenzhou meta