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macfrog · 10 months

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jet

🎉 thank u guys so much for 1k followers 🎉 i don’t know how we got here but i love you all endlessly and can’t thank you enough for all the love n support. here’s some smutty joel to celebrate 🤩 this might become something, it might not. i dunno. wanted to try it out tho. lmk your thoughts ✨

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you and joel have an agreement: follow his movements, follow his orders, stay alive. what happens when, one night, he asks you to break the deal?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) post-outbreak!joel, pining i guess?? when don't i pine for this man, praise kink, light bondage, fingering, unprotected p in v sex (don't u dare), creampie, dom!joel, soft!joel, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), cursing, cute horsies

word count: 6.9k

main masterlist

Somewhere between Missouri and Illinois, last time you checked. Joel has the map, and you don’t bother asking him to see it much. You’ve been following the Mississippi north, on his orders, looking to hit St. Louis sometime tomorrow. Provided you don’t run into any trouble, that is.

It’s been three days with no safe refuge. Camping out in deserted houses with wood for windowpanes, stores infested with rats, office buildings with infected roaming. Joel figures the outskirts of the city are a good spot to stop for a couple nights, regain your strength, find supplies.

You’re a few paces ahead of him, only turning your head slightly when you notice an offramp, and looking back ahead when he doesn’t give any direction. You weave in and out of abandoned cars, hips swaying with the clipping of your horse’s hooves on broken asphalt, Joel’s horse in time at your heels.

You’d untethered the pair of them on a farm back in Nebraska. Joel had told you to stay put while he cleared the house, but you’d wandered over to the field when you spotted them. Timid, skittish, starving.

Five minutes hooked over the fence and they were both eating grass you’d pulled from the earth, right out of your hand. Joel’s heavy footsteps approaching had spooked them back a few steps, but you’d petted their muzzles and when he did the same, they soon warmed to him, too.

He’d jerked his head in a nod and muttered, “Good job,” before finding two saddles, strapping them on, and helping you onto the chestnut brown one – who you’d named Jet.

Joel had found tins of food in the farmhouse, and a switchblade for you to carry. He had a new stain on his shirt.

“Infected?” you asked.

He grunted in reply. Then rolled the tins into his backpack and hoisted himself onto his own horse, giving her reins a tug.

You knew that meant that yeah, there’d been infected inside. And recent, too, going by how well-kept the horses looked. It can’t have been longer than a week.

Joel’s silence as you both wandered down the farm track probably meant that there weren’t just adults in the house, either.

You’d glanced over to him, giving him a small smile. Bent over and reached for his horse’s ears, scratching where her soft black coat met her mane. The reins lay loose around Joel’s knuckles.

Protecting and providing for you was more important than some infected kids in a farmhouse. Joel had made that more than clear over the time you’d been with him. But somewhere, buried deep underneath years of fighting and killing, tucked away under a dusty flannel shirt, you knew his heart was hurting.

That was two weeks ago. Joel hasn’t talked about it, and you’re not interested in bringing it back up. Y’all got to the farm, took everything it had to offer, and you left.

Jet clicks her way along the highway somewhere south of the city. It’s still bright out; Joel reckons probably a few more hours of sunlight, so you know he’ll be scouting for places to camp out soon.

You lean back to stretch your spine, hand steadying yourself on Jet’s rump, her tail swishing as she walks. Her head bobs, looking from left to right, from the trucks with smashed windows sprouting moss, over to the trees losing leaves in the fall breeze.

It’s peaceful. Not much is, these days.

It’s quiet enough that Joel can listen for any sound of oncoming threat, and quiet enough that you can shut your eyes and pretend like you’re on some trail in the Texas country, on a warm summer evening; not exhausted, covered in dirt, weeks since you washed, days since you slept.

You’re humming gently to yourself, imagination taking you down by a creek where Joel pulls you by hand off the horse and you sit down to a picnic or something. He’d bring a basket. Maybe a bottle of wine, or a cheese board. Maybe he lays you back and kisses you on the blanket. Maybe his hand starts to wander up your thigh, skirt ruffling as he goes…

“Not much out here, is there?”

His voice startles you, bursting the seams of your daydream. He isn’t much of a talker, not unless you start it. You sit up straight and give your head a shake, as if dislodging the fantasy from your mind.

You twist around to look at his face; squinting under the bright white sky. Tired, same as you, lined, flecked with years and sun and survival.

“Hm?” he asks when you still don’t reply.

“Not a lot,” you finally say, clearing your throat and turning back to the road.

Finding the horses isn’t the only thing that’d happened two weeks ago.

Joel hadn’t wanted to camp in the farmhouse, hadn’t wanted to have to shift the bodies. Too much effort, or too much for you to see, maybe. You’d protested, heart set on a night’s sleep in an actual bed, but he hadn’t budged.

And you knew not to push him.

The sun was setting, though, so Joel led you down a dirt track toward a barn and burst the padlock. He tied the horses up just inside the door, used bundled up hay as a makeshift mattress upon which he laid out a blanket for you.

He barricaded the door as you lay back, did a walkaround of the place just in case any infected – or worse – were waiting to surprise y’all, and then sat down next to you.

Your head by his thigh, you put a hand on his knee.

“You can lie down, too, y’know.”

He grunted in response, breathing deep and steady.

“Joel.”

You took his shoulder and tried to pull him down to you, but the man is stronger than anyone you’ve ever met, even in his late forties, and you were convinced he’d only pretended to be yanked toward you so as not to hurt your feelings too much.

He remained upright. “Just want to keep watch for a while.”

Joel’s like this when you’re on the road. He’s cautious. On high alert. Always watching ahead, always listening out for whatever he thinks he might hear in the distance. Sometimes you can say something to him and have to give his leg a kick for him to answer you.

You’d sighed and pushed yourself up to lean your bicep against his. He furrowed his brows and scanned you from your jeans to your jaw.

“If you’re up, I’m up,” you told him.

“You need sleep,” he replied flatly.

You shrugged. “So do you.”

“What good is both of us tired?”

You sighed again and shook your head. You weren’t gonna argue with him.

Good thing he didn’t feel much like arguing, either. Ten minutes later he was on top of you, jeans loose on his thighs, head buried in your shoulder, fucking you senseless. Grunting and groaning into your skin.

You’d scored marks into his shoulder blades with your nails that you’re sure, if you peeled back his shirt right now, would still be there.

It’d tired you both out enough that Joel settled with your head on his chest, his hand in your hair, eyes trained on the barn doors. You don’t know if he slept a wink. You never know if he sleeps these days.

Joel hears the hoarseness of your voice and knows that you’re tired, ‘cause he clicks to his horse and she trots up alongside you and Jet. He pulls the map from his backpack. You tilt your head to take a look.

“Keep ridin’ for another hour,” he mumbles. “’m sure we’ll find somewhere soon. Looks like we’re still a little way out of St. Louis.”

You nod, rolling your head back. The cloudy sky burns your corneas as you watch a bird fly overhead. Joel slips the map back into his bag and you feel his hand on your thigh.

“You okay?”

“Mhm. Tired,” you whisper.

“Only a little while longer.” He gives your leg a small squeeze and his hand returns to the reins. He doesn’t fall back, instead, stays ambling along by your side. It feels like company. Feels nice. Feels…normal.

Two weeks is a long fucking time. Especially when your adrenaline peaks on the regular, sometimes multiple times in one day, and you’re alone with Joel all day and all night. Trusting each other, relying on each other. Saving each other time and time again. It was only natural that you began to rely on each other for…more than just survival.

You can’t remember when you found him. It was in the QZ, back when you believed in stability and structure. When you believed in people. Now, the only thing you believed in was Joel. Broken, hurt, shut-off Joel, who’d grumbled an apology when his shoulder brushed yours in the hallway and changed everything.

You like to think you were something new to him, something different. A challenge, maybe. Something worth holding onto, anyway, for reasons he was yet to let you in on.

He had an apartment of his own, with a bed of his own, which was something you weren’t used to. You shared a cramped apartment with Luce, a single mom with a two-year-old. Joel’s was where you went when the tantrums, the screaming in the middle of the night, the ration cards being destroyed either by ripping, by eating, or else by other means, became too suffocating.

Joel didn’t believe in anything or anyone, either. That’s what kept you coming back.

He’d just open his door and step aside to let you in. Barely a word. He’d ask if you’d eaten, and share his plate with you either way. Wordlessly picking away at the same food, making sure you got the last spoonful of soup, the last strip of jerky.

Most nights he’d fuck you until your mind went blank, nothing but the smell of him, feel of him, sound of him. No talking, no kissing, no touching. Just the sound of the bed springs, Joel’s soft groans as he bottomed out inside you. The feel of his hot skin, hips rubbing against the inside of your thighs. The bare, cracked brick walls of his apartment would fade away with each thrust, and then slowly seep back in when your orgasm began to wash away.

You knew it was time-wasting, for both of you. Scratching an itch. But some nights, it felt like more. The nights when he’d be so caught up in what he was doing, so caught up in you, that he’d forget to pull out. The nights his hips would snap messily and suddenly he was spilling inside of you, a deep groan humming against your skin between his teeth.

He wouldn’t care to ask, and you wouldn’t offer the information for free, but you remember every fucking time he did it. Where it’d happened, the position he had you in, how long it took for him to finally peel his body off of yours.

And afterwards, he’d let you sleep with your head on his chest. Let you play with his fingers. Let you talk to him; let you ask questions.

Didn’t mean he answered all of them. Didn’t even mean he answered much. Some, he’d give away more openly than others, but you soon got used to clocking when he was keeping a secret. Make a mental note of it, remember to chip away at it.

He trusted you, though; you knew that. Knew it by the way his fingers knotted safely in your hair, the way he’d lie naked with you until the sun came up. The way his breathing would slow, the way he’d mumble in his sleep.

You never talked to him about the incoherent words he’d breathe – but you could piece them together well enough to understand him better than his waken self would ever reveal.

When you brought up leaving, one rainy night weeks ago, he thought about it maybe twice over. Asked how he was supposed to keep you safe.

You do that already, you told him.

‘s different outside. You don’t understand.

It can’t be any worse than in here.

You’d taken a step forward, and he’d flinched, but allowed you to take his strong jaw in your hands. You tried to form a sentence, and when your throat closed up, eyes flitting between his, he took your wrists and lowered them. The shadow of a rain-spattered window doused in a sickly amber glow across his face.

You’d wanted to kiss him. And had he left your hands where they were just a few seconds longer, you think you might’ve. Joel saw it in your eyes, and stopped it.

Whatever. It had still convinced him. He packed his bag and you snuck down the fire escape the following night. Joel’s fingers were hooked around your belt loop the entire time, keeping your hip in stride with his all the way until you were at least a hundred feet away from the QZ wall.

His other concern was his age. Why someone like you would want to run away with someone like him. Forty-something, graying, past his peak. He has, like, twenty years on you. Once he made some reference about Bruce Springsteen and, when your face blanked, he sighed and took the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

I know who Bruce Springsteen is, asshole, you’d said, just didn’t get that reference.

He’d shaken his head and given you a sly, twisted smirk, then pushed you out the door of the apartment block you guys were searching.

Still, despite the years between you, you have one major thing in common.

You’re both good at getting each other…there.

Joel knows exactly what to do to make you tick. You know exactly how to push him until he does it. It’s in the way you look at him, the way you touch him. Things you say that make his stony eyes flit once down your body, and then you know you’re in.

It’s a little harder to do while on horseback, you gotta admit. The best you can do is look at him, say a sentence or two laced with want and need. Hope that he reads through the lines.

It’s worked a few times, when Joel’s suddenly found a shed or basement you can camp out in and then made it difficult for you to walk for the next couple days.

Right now, you feel too tired to even bat your eyelashes at him, never mind coming up with lines to turn him on. You’ve been on the highway for a few hours by this point, little sign of shelter anywhere nearby. Joel holds his hand out and you bring your horses to a stop in view of a hospital a couple miles ahead.

“That’s gotta be teemin’ with them,” you say, looking over to study his expression.

“Hm,” Joel agrees, and glances to the right.

“What you thinkin’? Sun’s getting lower.”

He takes a deep breath, pulls on the reins. “Know somewhere nearby.”

He heads off the highway with a click of his teeth, and you follow. You shut your eyes, chin burying beneath the collar of your shirt. You’d kinda hoped that he’d offer to clear even a small part of the hospital for you to rest up, maybe more, but you trust him enough to lead you somewhere safer, somewhere quieter.

That trust begins to wear thin, though, when the sun disappears behind the trees, drowning you guys in a low dusk, and the temperature begins to fall. Joel’s using what’s left of the gray light to guide him, slowing down to take a hold of Jet’s reins and line her up with his own horse.

“I thought you said an hour,” you mumble, grip becoming slack on the leather.

“Changed my mind,” he replies. “Almost there.”

Your eyes start to roll with exhaustion, hips aching from the position you’ve been sat in for hours now. It’s not until you notice the silhouette of a tall sign in the clearing, black against the fading purple sky, that you blink yourself awake.

Joel pulls you and Jet off the road to a deserted parking lot, shadowed by a motel. He slows the horses down, listening for any signs of life, leading them to the side of the building.

“Easy,” he whispers, pulling on the reins. Both animals come to a halt.

He slides off the saddle, hitting the ground with a thud. He takes your hands, pulling you down to him, and you glance around.

“Stay here,” he tells you, and you don’t have the energy to argue back.

He makes off, pulling his gun from his holster. You stand with a hand on each horse’s muzzle, gently petting. Joel’s gone for a decent amount of time, his silhouette slowly sneaking in and out of every room, spending a couple minutes in each before he clears it.

He returns with a box of pills, some gauze, and a bottle of water, which he hands to you. You take a long swig and pass it back, and he does the same.

“What will we do with Jet ‘n…?”

“Huh?” he asks, replacing the cap on the half-empty bottle.

“What’s your horse called?”

“She ain’t got a name.”

You tsk. “Bad owner.”

“We ain’t their owners.”

“Mine’s is Jet. Pick a name.”

Joel sighs and shakes his head, but you know he’s gonna spend all night thinking up some name to go with yours. “We’ll tie ‘em up out here.”

“What if something happens to them?”

“Well,” he says, leading them toward the shelter, “if somethin’ happens to them, it only means it’s about thirty seconds away from happenin’ to us.”

He jerks his head toward the first room as he ties them up, and you know the conversation is over.

You wander into the small, dingy room, pulling your jacket from your shoulders. It smells of damp, the wallpaper’s peeling off the wall above the bed. The sheets are in disarray, a little dusty, but they look clean enough. The bathroom walls are covered in grime. Drawers empty, closet doors missing, entire place ransacked.

It’s as good as you get, these days. At least it has a solid roof.

Joel settles the horses and closes the door gently behind himself. You’re already tugging your boots off, sat at the foot of the bed.

He rests his gun on the nightstand and straightens up, stretching his back with a quiet groan.

“’s cozy,” you offer, and he nods.

“Better ‘n risking that hospital.”

The bedsprings creak when you shimmy up the mattress, resting your back against the hardwood headboard. It ain’t the most comfortable, but then it’s not meant to be, is it? It’s only meant to be safe, which Joel’s made sure of.

He stands at the bottom of the bed, watching you as you bounce up and down a couple times, laughing quietly at the sound of the springs beneath you. His expression clouds over under low brows.

“Y’okay?” you ask, tilting your head.

He nods again. Eyes flitting up and down, from your face to your neck, back up, and then lower still. Your chest. Your stomach. Your legs. You feel your heartbeat quicken when he takes a step forward.

“Just had to find somewhere better.”

“Better?” You smile. “Have you seen the world, Miller?”

He leans his knee against the foot of the bed. His brown eyes darken even more, and his jaw tenses.

“Had to find somewhere better,” he mutters, “so I could fuck you in peace.”

Your breath catches. You stare from his lips back up to his eyes. His fists are balled tight. His chest heaves with steady panting. There’s something flickering in the depths of those warm eyes; an ember, drawing you in. Tantalizing you.

You sit forward, pushing onto all fours, and crawl down the groaning bed to him, rising onto your knees when your hands meet his shirt. Your chest against his stomach, you look up into his eyes.

His rough hands knot in your hair and he pulls down, yanking your head back and your chin up to him. He studies your face, outlined in the moonlight seeping through the window. Then he lowers his jaw and lines his lips against yours.

“That what you want?” he hums against your mouth. You swallow his words – they claw at your throat as they go.

“Uhuh,” you breathe back, trying to connect your lips. He doesn’t allow you; steadily dodges your jaw like you’re a pair of negative magnets, repelling off one another. You moan.

“Needy girl,” Joel whispers. “Two weeks too long for you?”

“Mhm.”

You’re not tired anymore. You’re fucking desperate. You feel your cunt dripping, seeping through your underwear, worsened when Joel’s hand reaches down between your legs and cups you through your jeans.

You gasp and grab his arms to steady yourself.

“Tell me what you want,” he says, hand tensing around your core.

Your lip trembles as you watch the way his mouth moves, how he shapes the words. His teeth locked between soft lips, dappled with brown hair, ends singed gray. The way he almost spits the words.

Your chest meets his torso when you breathe in, a deep, shaky breath. Joel notices; the corners of his mouth twitch, holding back a smile.

“Want you to…want you…”

He doesn’t wait for you to finish your sentence. He pushes you back and falls on top of you, strong body pinning you against the mattress, hand still clamped to your crotch.

His head dips to your neck where he bites, scratches and sucks, mumbling against your hot skin, “Tell me, baby. Use your words.”

Your head begins to swim, body starts pulsing with electricity. Baby. Joel’s pet names are limited to one thing. One activity.

“Want you to f– fuck, Joel – fuck me.” Fuck me fuck me fuck me.

His hand begins wrestling with the button of your jeans. Thick fingers fumbling with your zipper, taking your waistband with both hands and hauling it down. The force of it pulls you down the mattress too, squealing as Joel rips the denim from your legs. You lower your hands to help him, but once they’re tossed to the floor, he bats you away.

He’s shaking his head, tsking, then takes both your wrists in one of his huge hands. Fingers twisted around your delicate skin, pinning them above your head. The bed sighs around you when he pushes your hands into the mattress. Your back arches, your chest rising to meet his.

Your legs part, knees settling either side of his waist. Of course they do. It’s what you know now. It’s basic fucking instinct at this point.

His free hand returns to cup your sex, feeling how wet you are through your now soaked underwear.

“Baby,” he coos, “this all for me?”

You nod a little too eagerly, not that you’re present enough to care. But it beckons a smug smile from Joel, who begins sliding your panties down your thighs.

Your hips lift to let him drag the fabric down, biting your lip, not willing to wait another fucking second for him. Lace meets denim on the torn-up floor, and you sigh, settling back against the rusty bedsprings and mottled sheets.

Joel’s free hand ghosts from your wrist down to your elbow, teetering along the sleeve of your t-shirt over to the collar, where he pulls it so far down into the valley between your breasts that a small noise passes your lips.

“Hm?” he asks, fingers pausing against your breastbone.

“’s my only shirt. Don’t…”

He kisses his teeth. His gaze never lifts from your heaving chest, skin damp with sweat right underneath his fingers. You can see him tossing it over in his head. What he wants to do, versus what he probably shouldn’t.

He blinks. Decision made.

“Give you one of mine,” he growls, and hooks his fingers, dragging the fabric of your shirt lower and lower until the collar tears open and it’s another scrap lost to the motel room floor.

And then there you are, naked and writhing underneath him. He’s still in his dusty flannel. There’s sweat lining his forehead. He holds himself over you, hovering, taking every inch of you in and storing it behind his eyes.

You jerk your hands, trying to break free just to touch him, feel him, but he pulls away again, tutting.

“No, pretty girl,” Joel coos, “gonna take my time with ya.”

You moan in protest, still wriggling under his body. His grip on your wrists doesn’t loosen, not even when his free hand dips to undo his belt. The cold metal kisses your naked thighs when he pulls it through his jeans; the leather drags up your torso and across your face as he lifts it.

He takes your hands individually, careful and yet rough, urgent, and slots them between the slats of the headboard. Your head turns up to watch what he’s doing. The silver of his belt buckle knocks against the wood as he slips it under your wrists, feeding it between your skin and the mattress, wrapping it around the slat between your hands.

Then he slips the belt through the buckle, and pulls. Tight. Your hands come together, wrists kissing, the leather burning your skin the tighter he pulls. You whine, head rolling back to meet his gaze, fixed on yours.

“Since you don’t wanna listen.”

The drip in his voice, sweet like honey, smooth as whiskey, forces your legs open wider. Joel smirks, pushing himself down the mattress and out of your view.

Staring up at the gray ceiling, you’re left just to feel him. Feel him as his palms splay out on your knees, pushing them into the bed. Feel his stubble graze the inside of your thigh as he drags his tongue up, leaving a trail of wet behind.

Feel when he breathes a whisper across your aching cunt, something you can’t hear over the ruffling of sheets around your head as you toss around. And feel when his fingers part your lips, opening you up wide for him to really fucking see.

“Fuck, baby,” he says, and you find the strength to lift your head to watch. He’s leant over you, one arm hooked around your left thigh, holding it open, the other fucking…playing with you. Like you’re some fancy gadget. Like you’re brand new to him.

“So,” he runs two fingers from your clit through your folds, “fuckin’,” lines them up at your entrance, “pretty – for me.”

He pushes up into you, and your head hits the pillow with a stifled groan. You’re panting through your teeth, back arching the deeper he goes, stretching you out and rocking waves of sparkling heat through you. Waves that hit the other end of your stomach and come rippling back, throbbing around his thick fingers.

His arm bears down on your thigh, forcing your legs wide open for him. His hand cups your clit and you buck your hips, rutting against the base of his palm. Joel laughs softly.

“Patience, darlin’. Don’t want it to be over ‘fore it’s even started.”

Your head rocks back and forth, eyes tight shut. It’s all you can fucking do, tied tight to the bed. Joel pumps his fingers in and out of you, adding a third when you’re wet enough, thumb never leaving your clit.

You can feel your orgasm brewing in your stomach. Feel the tension between your hips. You’re chasing it, eyes shut, focusing only on Joel’s hand fucking in and out, in and out. You’re coming close, body pushing into the mattress, legs widening even more to let him slip a fourth finger inside you.

“Feel good?” he asks, almost with a laugh. There’s a smirk painted across his lips, you know it, even though you can’t find the energy to open your eyes.

You whimper in response, some small, muffled sound roughly shaped like yeah.

“Yeah,” Joel agrees, and his wrist flicks harder.

You moan every time his fingertips kiss the edge of your cunt, pushing against the soft walls. You moan when he drags them out, leaving you empty. Again, when he pushes them back in, rough and fast. And then when he lowers his lips to your ear and tells you how good you’re being, how pretty you look, how hard he’s gonna…

It’s like he changes his mind in an instant.

Withdraws his hand, slick-covered and still hooked. Pulls it away as quickly as he pulls your orgasm from your body. It drains from you; reduces back to an ache you can’t reach.

Joel slips his fingers between his lips as he readjusts himself, repositioning on the squealing mattress. Sucks them clean as casually as he would at a cookout or something, then takes your hips in both hands and straightens you up.

His jeans are tugged down barely past his ass. He’s not prepared to waste any time ripping his own clothes off like he did yours. Just leans forward, pulls his solid cock from his boxershorts, and spits into his hand.

You watch through eyes glazed with lust as he strokes himself a couple times, eyes always on your swollen cunt, groaning as his spit coats his shaft. Then he lowers himself to you and does the same, only running his length through your folds.

You whine, feeling that familiar thickness separate you so close to where you need him, and yet so fucking far.

“Joel…” you whisper, but he’s not listening.

Transfixed on the sight of his cock moving against your soaked cunt. Listening to the sweet, wet sounds the pair of you make. His tip catches on your entrance a couple times and you gasp. Just fucking do it already.

“Fuck,” Joel growls under his breath, and then…

It’s been months. Might even be years. But the feeling of him pushing inside you for the first time is still the same. Every. Fucking. Time. He’s bigger, thicker than anyone you’ve ever slept with before. And he knows it, because every single time, he glides into you without hesitation. No time for you to adjust. Just fills you up straight away, lets you deal with it later.

He’s cocky like that. Too careful when you’re on the road, and too careless when you’re between the sheets. Not that you’re fuckin’ complaining.

Your mouth falls open in a choked moan. Your lungs are gasping for air. Joel’s all you can feel.

Your elbows lift into the air, arms desperate to break free just to grab onto him, ground yourself, feel him close against you. Your wrists lock against the hardwood, leather digging into your skin as punishment for trying to break free. You’re stuck; nothing but the overwhelming feeling of him between your legs, filling you up and leaving you empty over and over again.

“Good girl,” he’s panting, still watching where his cock lines up with your cunt, and then disappears inside.

He leans down and his lips find home on your shoulder, sucking sweet marks into the skin like he always does. His tip bumps against your cervix, jolts of sensitivity pushing through you each time he bottoms out causing you to whine into his flannel.

“Fuck, Joel.”

“I know, I know. I got you. I’ll get you there again, baby.”

You had a routine. Follow his movements, follow his orders, stay alive. Deviate slightly from that routine, even for a minute, and you threw the whole agreement into jeopardy. One misstep on a crowded street dotted with cars once had a sniper open firing at you both for nearly two hours until Joel found him and put a bullet between his eyes. That time your curiosity got the better of you and Joel almost lost a hand stopping you from walking down an alleyway and straight into a wire trap.

Repeat it, Joel had said that night. Crouched by his apartment window, rain battering off the glass. Hands on the frame, ready to hoist it up and let you slip out any second. Repeat. It.

Do as you say, you whispered back. And only then did he pull the sash.

This is not the fucking routine. This is not the agreement. You fucked, of course you did. But that’s all it ever was. Hungry, touch-starved, desperate sex. Bored sex. We-almost-died-today sex. Not this.

Not: clear an entire motel just so nothing within a two-mile radius gets to hear you fuck me senseless. Strip me down, tie me up, push me to the edge with your hands, but don’t let me go without you. Curl your lips around my ear while you’re buried inside me and whisper praises. Whisper baby. Whisper…anything you like. Anything you wouldn’t say when the sun’s up.

This feels like it means something. To both of you. Feels like Joel’s looking for something in you, asking something of you. And you want to give it to him, whatever it is.

And maybe that’s the point.

He’s proving that he could make you do fucking anything. Let him tie you to a bedframe, push you close enough to the edge that you can feel the pressure of release beckoning you forward like the wind circling your ankles.

And you’re proving that you’ll do it. You’ll do what he says. Follow him to the edge, refuse to jump. Pull his body into yours, make it feel like home for a night.

He’s proving that he’ll take care of you, and you’re proving that you’ll let him.

Your wrists are burning. Leather digging marks, searing skin, then rubbing over it again and again to cut it deeper. It’s starting to hurt, if you’re honest with yourself. Your face probably gives it away.

Probably, possibly. Definitely.

Joel notices you quieten and lifts his head from the crook of your neck. Studies your face for a fraction of a second and knows.

“Hey,” he says, reaching up. He loosens the belt with one hand whilst still deep inside you, hips thrusting slowly just as a place marker.

When your hands slip free, Joel’s clasp gently around your wrist, fingers delicate over the sensitive, reddened skin. His eyes almost glisten at the sight.

“Baby…” he whispers.

“’s okay,” you reassure him, loosening his grasp on you and settling your shaky hands on his jaw. “I’m okay. Liked it.”

Joel lowers his forehead against yours and picks his pace up again, and you moan into the space between your lips. Your legs lift higher, knees bumping against his shoulders. His hips snap into yours, his jeans rutting against the inside of your thighs, the bed creaking with each messy thrust.

“Close, baby,” his voice vibrates against your lips.

“Yeah,” you whine, chest pushing against his. “Fuck. Right there. Fuck.”

Your arm drapes over his shoulder blades, nails dig into the rough cotton of his shirt. Your left hand is still at his jaw, fingers caressing his cheek. Joined together at your hips and your brows, gaze never really meeting for longer than a second, but still. You’re right there. Joel – he’s right there.

It’s new, it’s intimate. It’s almost…sweet.

“Gonna cum with me?” he asks, sincerely. He’s not trying to coax it out of you. He’s checking that you want to fall over the edge. Not for him, not because of him, but with him.

You nod and he returns it, sweat sticking his dark hair to his forehead.

With his eyes on you, flitting between your parted lips and your batting eyelashes, too scared to settle on either place for too long, he lifts your hips and fucks into you fast. Deep. Fucking – hard. Skin slapping against yours, breath hot and tangling with yours between your lips.

The pressure between your hips begins to build again, rapidly, Joel adding to it with every movement. Every push of his thick cock against your walls only draws them in tighter, closing around him, holding him closer to you with each moan escaping both your lips.

“Darlin’…” he murmurs in a broken voice, and you know. He’s starting to falter. Thrusts weakening.

“’m there too,” you reply, gasping for breath.

“Let me – feel you,” he says, “pretty girl.”

Maybe it’s the fact you don’t normally talk. Maybe the fact he never touches you the way he has tonight. Maybe it’s him wanting you to cum first, before he will.

Or maybe it’s pretty girl, that finally sends you over.

You look so good to him. You’re being so good for him. ‘n he can’t help it, has to let you know. Has to let every thought that passes through his head slip out past his tongue.

Pulling his chest flat against yours, you throw your head back to the pillow with a moan so filthy, so guttural that you’d be surprised if you don’t have company in five minutes.

Joel’s at your heels, face buried between your breasts, groaning into your chest as his cock twitches deep inside you and you feel him fill you up.

Your orgasm’s still knocking you senseless, every nerve in your body electrified. You’re holding Joel tight to your body, his ear flat to your chest, and you know he can hear your heartbeat. Know he’s listening to it throwing punches from behind your ribcage.

He’s still groaning through his breaths, heavy and thick with his release. Cock still deep inside you, still, softening. You lay like that for…well, you’ve no idea how long. But after a bit, Joel pulls himself up off of you and wanders into the bathroom.

You sit up on your elbows, taking deep, steady breaths, and let the stars in your vision dissipate. Joel emerges a couple minutes later and finally tugs his jeans down. He lifts both his shirt and the tee underneath off in one motion, tossing them onto the sideboard, then slips back under the covers, wordlessly hooking a hand around your upper arm and pulling you down onto his chest.

Your legs intertwine with his. There’s cum seeping out of you onto his thigh. Both of you, mixed up as one. His fingers sift through your hair, doing little to untangle it but trying all the same. His breathing in time with yours, his lips pressed safely to the crown of your head.

Before you know it, you’re sleeping.

Dawn breaks early. Too early. You’re still tangled up in Joel, feeling his chest rise and fall. Listening to his heartbeat – slow, calm. The drapes – not that there’s much left of them – are too thin to stop any light from flooding in. It’s only a matter of time before he wakes up.

The rough sheets sting against your wrists – red marks scoring them where Joel’s belt had been. You wince, running light fingers over the grazes, hissing at your fingertips as they go.

It hurts way less than it thrills you. This little reminder of what you did last night. What Joel did. The pain subsides the longer you touch the scars, knitted brows melting into a smile.

You slowly lift your head, propping yourself up on your elbow. Just watching him. The dust in the room frames him in a sea of white glitter, the slow-emerging sun lights across his face and dips where the scar on his nose sits.

His arms are still around your waist, cradling you. Holding you to him. You know he’s stirring when they tighten, and then fall loose. Façade back up. Walls slowly rebuilding.

You dress yourselves in silence. Run out of words to say. There ain’t nothing to say – nothing that wasn’t said last night. Joel sinks into the mattress beside you to tie his laces, and your arms brush against one another a couple times. It’s like fire on ice.

He’s first to leave the room. Just pulls his jeans over his boots and stands, unlocks the door and lets the light flood in. You check once over for anything left behind, and slip out. The air is cool, twilight still slowly washing away. You sling your jacket over Jet’s back and pull yourself up.

Joel’s t-shirt is loose over your shoulders. He gave you a fresh one from his bag. It smells like him, but you don’t let him see when you bury your nose into it to breathe him in. The hem bunches up over the top of your thighs once you’re sat on the horse.

His eyes scan down you once, surveying you in hisshirt. Then he swerves off back toward the road, silhouette cutting between the rays of sun streaming between the pine trees.

“Ghost,” he tosses over his shoulder.

“Huh?” You click to Jet to follow.

“Horse’s name. Ghost.”

“How come?” you ask when you’re side by side with him.

He shrugs, upper lip turning. “When it’s dark, you can’t hardly see her. She’s like a ghost.”

Joel’s hand surfs gently across Ghost’s mane, fingers scratching her shining coat. Your bodies rock in time with the sway of the horses’ walking. The echo of their hooves on the asphalt masks the silence for a few moments.

“Alright,” you eventually accept, turning away to watch the sun lift above the prickly treetops.

And to hide the smile tugging on your lips.

----------

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samandcolbyownme · 3 months

Text

This story will get dark and contain things that some readers might find unsettling and/or triggering. PLEASE DONT READ IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH!!

Summary: Things get a little out of hand as you explore the Missouri Farmhouse with Sam and Colby.

Warnings include: talk of death and suicide, mentions of good and evil spirits, mentions of a brothel, reader being touched, spoken to, and tormented by spirits, mentions of being scratched, pushed, shoved, mentions of blood and puking, Estes method and other things some readers might find unsuitable - please read with caution my lovelies!

Disclaimer: everything in this story is completely off the top of my head, meaning I made it all up and also, y/n has a little thing going on with both Sam and Colby, but nothing is official. Enjoy!

Word count: a little over 16k | NOT edited

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"Yeah, okay. Thanks." Sam nods his head, "Alright. See you in a few days." He hangs up and sits down, "So." He ruffles his hair and looks between you and Colby.

"What's up, man?" Colby leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, "Was that Trevor?"

Sam nods, "Yeah it was."

"Who's Trevor?" You ask looking between them. You could tell something was up, but you didn't know what, "Sam. What's going on?"

"So.. Trevor is the owner of the house we're going to in a few days, and he said that we should rethink about bringing you along."

"Bringing.." Colby points to you, "Y/n along? Why?"

Sam leans back, "I guess having a female there just won't be a good idea according to Trevor."

"Why?" You shake your head slightly and sit up. Sam shrugs, "I guess when other female investigators that went, they left pretty banged up."

You raise your brows, "Well it's a good thing I can handle a few bumps and bruises."

Colby pulls on the corner of your sweater and you look at him. You can tell that he is only concerned for your safety right now, so anything you say will just go in one ear and right out of the other.

You look back at Sam, "So what? I'm just going to be excluded from this?"

Sam sighs, "Trevor said that it's all up to you. If you want to go, no one will stop you."

"Well I wouldn't say no one." Colby chuckles slightly and looks up at you and Sam staring at him. He quickly covers it up, "She's our best friend Sam. Why would we potentially put her in danger? Especially since the owner of the house is telling us not to bring her?"

"He said it's her choice so I mean-"

You cut Sam off, "Yes. Exactly. And I want to go."

"Have you read up on the place we're going to?" Sam raises his brows and you stare at him, "No.. but I can."

He gets up, "Look, I'm all for you going with us y/n. You're a vital part of the team, you see things we can't sometimes, so of course we want you to go." He sighs, "Just read up on it then decide whether or not you want to still go. I'm going to go make sure we have all the equipment we need."

You watch as he walks away and then you turn to Colby, "why am I getting an irritated vibe from Sam?"

Colby shrugs, "Probably because of what Trevor told him, and because he cares about you." He turns towards you, taking your hand in his, "We don't want to put you in any harms way, okay?"

"Colby." You laugh slightly, "Everywhere I go with you guys, well not everywhere but the investigations specifically.. anything could happen. I've be targeted before. I've been scratched before. I honestly think I've been through it all with you guys."

He smiles and nods, "Yeah, no you're right, I just." He pauses and lets out a sigh, "We just don't want you getting permanently affected by anything."

You nod, squeezing his hand, "How about this.. I'll go read up on the Missouri Farmhouse and then I'll get back to you guys after?"

He smirks and nods, "Okay."

"What's that smirk for?" You tilt your head and he shakes his head, "I just.. I just know that you're going to still want to go even after reading up on it."

You purse your lips together and blink a few times.

"I know you so well." Colby smiles and stands up, "I'm going to go help Sam." You watch as he walks away before reaching forward for your laptop.

The keys clack in the silence as you type in Missouri Farmhouse.

You click on a link with the same image that Colby texted you and your eyebrows raise at the first headline.

Uncovered: Multiple Prostitutes Found Dead, Miles From Missouri Farmhouse

Your eyes scan over the paragraph, Arlon Wheeler has been named leader of the satanic rituals involving the sacrifice of female prostitutes.

"Satanic rituals?" You shake your head, scanning back over the old news article, Arlon Wheeler's wife, Cordelia Wheeler, came front with authorities and confessed to everything her husband and others involved have done.

You click back, trying to find a more recent one, mainly one about people investigating it.

"Oh, yes." You click on a link and your eyes widen at the second headline.

Scratching the Surface: Ghost Investigators Leave Missouri Farmhouse Scratched and Bruised.

You scroll down, eyes widening as you read, 'Yeah, we went in knowing that it could get a little wild, but I honestly didn't think that I would be leaving with five scratches and a few bruises. I partially can't recall what happened after entering the barn, but other than that, I can tell you that if you are a female ghost hunter, please proceed with caution.' Lyvie said. I asked her about the barn and she said, 'Oh yeah.. the barn. That's where the brothel - I guess, took place. Along long with the said rituals.'

A chill is sent down your spine as you sit up, taking in what you just read, but it just seems to get worse and worse.

'With further research, it has been found that Arlon and Cordelia Wheeler would plan for Cordelia to go into town and to pick up naive females and return with them for Arlon Wheeler's sadistic needs.'

You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a sigh.

"That doesn't sound like a sigh of relief." Sam jokes as he sits next to you. He leans over, eyes scanning over your computer, "Mm, I see. Reading up on what you're getting yourself into?" You laugh slightly and look over at him, "Yeah, yeah."

You shake your head, looking back down at your computer, "I just.. That place is full of hatred."

"What do you mean?" Sam leans back against the couch and you point to the screen, "Between Arlon being sold out by his wife to all of those innocent girls being slaughtered for absolutely no reason." You look at Sam, "It's going to be a good video, but at what cost?"

You close your laptop and lean back, "I don't want you guys going in something like that alone." You smirk slightly, "What kind of friend would I be?"

"Friend.." Sam chuckles as he extends his arm over the back of the couch, "I'm just super anxious, because with you being a living female, I just have this weird feeling as to why there's so many reports on other investigators getting injured."

You lean in and rest your head on his shoulder, "Jealousy?" You turn your head to look up at him and he looks down at you, "Oh yeah." You smile, "Why's that, Sam?"

You can see his cheeks turning red as he tries to keep his composure, "Because.. As a pretty girl walking into something like that I-"

Colby cuts him off as he walks down the steps, "I'm looking at plane tickets. How many do I need?"

You sit up, looking from Colby to Sam. He smirks and holds up three fingers, "Three."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

""What's up guys.. It's Sam and Colby." Colby motions to the empty spot where Sam should be. He looks at the camera again and sighs, "What's up guys. It's Colby Brock, And today, we are currently at the airport, waiting to board our flight to Missouri." He tilts his head, giving a confused look, "Now, you're probably wondering, guys why are you at the airport waiting to go to Missouri? Well, we'll tell you."

Sam moves into frame and gives an awkward stare into the camera, "Hi." You laugh quietly, shaking your head as they continue the intro for the video.

"Sam, do you want to tell the people why we're going to Missouri?" Colby motions towards the camera and Sam looks at Colby, leaning in to mumble, "Why are we going to Missouri?"

You and Colby laugh at Sam and he sighs, "We are heading to a massively haunted farmhouse there. It is known for leaving a, figurative and literal mark on the people that go there to investigate."

"We're super nervous about this, considering what Sam says, I will be majorly surprised if we all make it out unscathed." Colby grabs the camera, turning it around on you, "We also have the very risk taking y/n here for this trip."

You smile and wave to the camera, "Nice intro for me, Colby." You laugh and he turns the camera around on himself, "I thought it was pretty bad ass, but okay." He laughs, "See you guys on the plane." He lays his hand on the lense and turns the camera off.

Sam sits down next to you, "Is anyone else actually kind of excited about this?"

You look over at him, "I'm half and half."

He leans forward, and you both look at Colby, "What about you?" Colby leans forward and shrugs, "I'm.. here." He laughs and you nod, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Hey, you cou-"

You cut Sam off, "I didn't want to stay home." He raises his hands, "Alright." He laughs, making you smile. He shake his head, "We couldn't get you to stay home even if we tied you to-"

"Oh my gosh!" A girl squeals, inconveniently cutting Sam off, "Are you guys really Sam and Colby? Like is this happening right now?"

Sam points to himself, "Yeah, I'm Colby and that's Sam." He points to Colby and Colby waves with a smile, "Yeah, my hair is a little darker than usual."

You smile and look up at the girl. Her jaw drops, "Oh my g- You're y/n! Are you guys making a video right now?"

You're shocked that she knows who you are, because you don't really get recognized much, "Yeah." You laugh slightly, "It's me." You glance over at Sam and he nods, "Yeah, were actually heading to Missouri right now to shoot a video."

All the girl can do is smile, "That's so freaking cool. Can I get a picture with all of you, please?"

You all agree and stand up as she finds someone to take the picture. You stand next to Colby as the girl stands between him and Sam. Colby wraps his arm around your waist, fingers gently rubbing your side as the stranger takes a few pictures.

"Thank you so much. oh my god, I can't wait to show my friends." She looks up from her phone, "They love you guys so much, they're going to freak."

"Thank you for stopping!" Colby smiles and gives the girl a hug, same with Sam, "Be on the lookout for this video. It's something you're not going to want to miss."

She nods, "I won't I promise." She looks at you, "Can I get a picture with you?" You look from her to Sam and back to her, "Of course, yes." She hands her phone to Sam and moves to stand next to you so Sam can take a few photos.

"Thank you so much, have a good flight!" She waves as she walks away and you turn to look at Colby, "Did that just happen?" He nods with a smile, "It sure did."

"Have you ever gotten stopped like that?" Sam asks as you all sit back down. You shake your head, "Nope. But I love it." You laugh slightly and Colby stands up, "I'm going to go get a drink, do you need anything?" You look over him and shake your head, "I have my water."

He motions to Sam, and Sam nods, "Just get me what you get."

You watch Colbt walk away before looking at Sam, "So what were you saying before all of that?"

He smirks and shakes his head, "About what?"

You smile and sigh, "oh you know, about me not staying home no matter what you did?" He laughs and sighs, "oh that.. Yeah, I was just saying how even if we tied you up at home you'd still find a way to come with." He leans in, "But something tells me that if we were to do that, no one would be going anywhere."

You sit up straight as his words send an intrigued shiver down your spine. You smile and look over at him, "This isn't some sort of I better say what i want now incase we don't make it back kind of thing is it?"

He laughs at your tease and shrugs, "I mean.. if it was.. I wouldn't say that and I definitely wouldn't be saying it here." He looks up as Colby walks back over, reaching up to take his drink.

Colby sits down next to you and sighs, "So what are we talking about over here?"

"Oh you know.." You look over at him, "Sam was just confessing his unprofound love for me, no biggie." You look at Sam and right before he can say anything, your flight is announced over the speakers.

"Oh look at that, perfect timing." Sam smirks and stands up. You look over at Colby and stand up, "Ready to fly into some spook-tacular fun?"

He laughs and points to you as he stands up, "You are definitely saying that on camera."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

The plane ride was quick, considering you fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. You woke up on the shoulder of a sleeping Sam.

"Morning sleepy head." Colby whispers with a smile. You wipe the little amount of drool from the corner of your mouth and smile, "Isn't it like four p.m?" He laughs and nods, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

The flight attendant annouces that you'll be landing shortly so you reach over to nudge Sam, "Hey.. Hey.. Sam. Samuel. Samuel John.." You look at Colby and back to Sam, "Samuel John Golbach."

You laugh slightly, "If you don't wake up, Colby will have no choice but to kiss you."

Colby leans forward, "What now?!"

"I'd like it better.." Sam sits up straight and looks at you, "If you kissed me instead."

You smirk, looking away to hide the blush growing on your cheeks and Colby holds his hand up, "Whoa. I think it'll be fair if she just kisses us both."

"You would like that wouldn't you?" You smirk at him and he nods, "Very much so." You lean back in your seat, the anxiety of going to that house tomorrow sets in.

The news articles flash in your mind, images of the the scratches and bruises people have received slip into the mix as well.

You didn't know your leg was bouncing a mile a minute until Sam lays a hand on your knee, "You good?" He asks with a slight laugh and you look over at him, "Yeah, I just got to thinking about the house."

Sam wants to suggest you staying at the hotel, but he and Colby both know that that isn't going to happen.

"I'm just.. what you told me about what Trevor said, it's just circling in my mind and I mean, maybe.." you shrug,"..I'm having second thoughts but I just can't let you guys go alone."

Sam smiles slightly and nods, "No, I know what you mean."

You all get up and get off the plane, making your way to the baggage claim. You yawn, laying a hand over your mouth, "Thank god we don't have to go until tomorrow."

You walk up, picking up your suitcase. Sam and Colby follow behind you, "Yeah, we all need to rest up before going there." Sam says, looking at Colby, "Do you want me to film or you?"

Colby shrugs, "Doesn't matter to me." Sam nods and you follow him over to a bench before he pulls out the camera, "Well guys. We have landed here in Missouri. Going to head to the hotel now and that's where we'll give you the rundown about everything that's going on tomorrow night."

"Colby, y/n." Sam turns the camera to face you guys, "How are we feeling?"

"Tired." You say with a laugh, "And kinda nervous, because we're only a few hours away from the house and I'm just.." you shrug, "Anticipating the scariness of it, I guess."

Colby nods, pointing his thumb towards you, "Exactly what she said." He laughs and nods, "But I'm ready."

Sam turns the camera back to himself and points, "See you guys in a few." Sam turns the camera off, putting it back in his backpack, "Alright, let's get to the hotel."

You make your way to the car that they rented and throw your stuff in the trunk. You get in and shut the door, waiting as they get in.

"So how far from the house will we he once we reach the hotel?" You lean over and look forward in between them.

"Um.." Colby thinks, "About an hour and a half, two with traffic maybe?"

You nod, "okay." You get on your phone, typing in the house you're going to into the search bar again. You click on a link you haven't looked at yet and rest your head against the headrest as you bring your phone up to read.

We got in contact with a group of ghost hunters to talk about their experiences at The Missouri Farmhouse. One said, 'Yeah, I was walking towards the barn and all of a sudden I was on the ground, almost like something came barreling behind me and I was in the way.'

Another said, 'I was standing on the porch of the home, just looking out over the dark cornfields when I felt something wet on my back and my shirt was kind of sticking to me. We went in the summer so I thought maybe it was just sweat - I was wrong. I had my friend shine her light on my back as I lifted up my shirt and I still can't get the way she gasped in shock out of my mind. I had two scratches going down my back and what I was feeling wasn't sweat - it was blood. My blood. I left right then and there and I don't plan on ever going back.'

"This person said that they were scratched so bad that blood was drawn." You look up and Sam and Colby both glance back at you, "I'm reading more on the house, and everything I'm seeing just gets worse."

"It's not going to be an easy night. That's for sure." Sam shakes his head as he comes to a stop at the red light, "We have to go in with a positive mindset, because if we go in with negative one, all we're going to get is a negative reaction."

Colby nods, "That's why I'm super thankful we came a day early. Just so we can rest up and really prepare ourselves for this."

You go back to reading.

'What would you say to anyone who plans on going to see the house for themselves? Would you try to persuade them from going?'

'Personally..' Darion starts, "..I wouldn't necessarily try to persuade anyone from going, because at the end of the day, if they really want to go, they're going to go. So what I'd say, is go in there with an open mind. Don't expect the worst right off the bat because if you do, you'll get the worse right off the bat. Treat the ground you walk on with as much respect as you humanly can and don't, don't underestimate the spirits that are trapped in that house - especially the barn.'

You lock your phone and look out the window. You don't really say much because of not only being tired, but because you're really thinking about whether or not you want to go.

You wanted to go, of course, but you didn't want to put the burden of being worried about onto Sam and Colby, considering they'll already be worried about each other.

You reach the hotel and make your way inside to check in before going up to the room. You sit down on the bed and fall back, "Finally."

Colby laughs, sitting down and falling back onto the bed next to you, "Tell me about it."

Sam sits down on the other bed and falls back, "So who's sleeping where?"

"I could honestly fall asleep right here." Colby laughs slightly. You nod, "Same." Sam sits up and goes to his backpack, "I forgot. We have to do the backstory stuff."

Colby sits up, "Oh shit, that's right." He gets up, moving over to the other bed, right in front of where Sam set the camera up.

You heave yourself forward with a groan and stand up slowly. You walk over, moving onto the bed behind them.

Sam looks back at you, "You can lay down if you want."

You shake your head, "I'm good."

Colby laughs and looks at you, "You just want to say that spook-tacular line don't you?" You roll your eyes as you laugh, looking at him with a serious look, "Maybe."

He laughs and looks forward as Sam gets the camera on. Sam sighs, "we made it to the hotel." He motions around before clapping his hands together, "We are about an hour and a half, two hours give or take, away from the Missouri Farmhouse."

He motions towards Colby and Colby takes over, "So the Missouri Farmhouse was known for a few things. One thing being that it was owned by two of the richest people in this town at the time, Arlon and Cordelia Wheeler. Second thing, the barn right behind the house."

Sam looks from Colby to you, "Y/n, you were reading up on it on the way here, why don't you fill everyone in?"

You nod, slightly shifting to face the camera, "So over the last few days and even today, I've been reading different articles pertaining to the house itself and the barn." You pull up your phone, unlocking it, "The barn is where a brothel was held for a few years. Multiple people from this town, and even family members to both Arlon and Cordelia, would come and pay them to engage in sexual activity with, as the article stated, naive prostitutes that Cordelia would pick up from town and bring back."

You look at Sam and he smirks slightly, "Keep going."

You smile and shake your head, "Not only did the sexual activity take place, but the same prostitutes would then be sacrificed to bring good fortune to the very greedy couple, and to also try and bring a miracle, or whatever of fertility onto Cordelia."

"Oh yeah, they didn't have any children." Colby snaps and looks at Sam, "I read that they tried multiple times, but nothing worked so I think it was a cousin, maybe, of Cordelia who was big into secretly doing witchcraft, that told her about the human sacrifice thing and yeah."

"So it was the cousin of Cordelia that started it all?" Sam asks and Colby nods, "I'd say so. Because what I was reading, they convinced her, promised her safety after she made a deal with the devil I guess and that's when they started sacrificing everyone, but I don't know how they could have saved her from everything."

Colby shrugs, "Bottom line, this place isn't going to be like any other place we've stepped foot into before."

"Oh!" You snap your fingers, "I also read some other investigator's personal experiences and the one got shoved, knock over on to the ground hard and the other one I read, she had two.. not one, but two scratches on her back.. and they were bleeding."

"I just hope that we leave with our skin in tact." Sam rubs his arms and Colby looks over at him, "I think I would rather leave unpossessed or something of that matter."

He laughs and Sam nods, "Yeah." He laughs, "You have a point with that one." He claps his hands, "Let's just hope that we all leave the same way we go in."

Colby and you nod and he looks back at you, "Anything else you want to add in?"

You stare at him and sigh, "We'll see you tomorrow on this spook-tacular adventure."

Sam and Colby cheer and Sam reaches up to turn off the camera, "That was great. I love that." He looks back at you and you laugh, "alright. I'm going for a shower."

You grab stuff from your suitcase and walk into the bathroom.

Once you're done, you come out to both Sam and Colby asleep on the same bed in positions they probably were expecting to fall asleep in.

You pull out your phone, recording as you walk over to them, "This is how I found them when I came out from the bathroom."

You zoom in on Sam, "I don't know how that's comfortable." You move over to Colby and quietly laugh, "again, I don't even know how that's comfortable."

You stop recording and tap Sam's knee, "Hey." He opens his eyes and smiles up at you, "Hey." You laugh and motion to his position, "How is that comfortable?"

He sits up, almost falling off the bed completely, "I honestly don't even know." He looks over at Colby, "Is he kneeling on the floor?"

You nod, drying your hair with the towel, "That he is." You toss the towel onto the floor and walk over to Colby, "Hey, Colbs." You tap his shoulder and he snorts, "Huh?"

You smile, "I think lying in the bed will be more comfortable.." you laughs slightly, "Better for your knees."

He laughs as he pushes himself back from the bed, "You would know."

Your jaw drops, "Hey now. I've never fell asleep like that." He glances up at you, a smirk comfortable on his lips, "Wasn't talking about that."

You roll your eyes, "Keep it up and you won't know." You make a face at him, smiling as he shakes his head, "Don't say that."

You hold your hands up, "Sorry." You go to walk to the other bed but Sam stops you, "whatcha doin'?"

"Going to bed." You point and pull the covers back. Sam pouts, "All alone?"

You smile at him and glance at Colby, "what? Are you scared or something?"

"Oh yeah, don't you see me shaking in my boots?" Colby pretends to shake and you laugh, "Fine. You've convinced me enough."

Sam grabs your hand and pulls you over him, laying you in the middle between him and Colby.

This wasn't anything new to you guys. You shared toddler beds as kids and it just stuck. You knew the moment you came to live with them that you liked them both.

They both seem to like you, and even though nothing is official, it just works for you guys.

Almost like a well oiled machine with no labels, all three of you just know.

"Goodnight." You roll onto your side and Sam turns the light beside the bed off, "Goodnight." He lays down next to you, laying his arm over your waist.

"Goodnight." Colby turns his light off and lays down facing you. He lays a hand on your hip and with them next to you, it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep at all.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You hear talking, but you try to ignore it as you don't really want to get up yet.

"Today is the day we go to the Missouri Farmhouse."

Your eyes snap open the instant those words leave Colby's lips. You lift your head, slowly looking around before sitting up.

"Oh, look. She's finally awake." Sam jokes and you cover your face with a pillow, "No." you groan, "I'm not ready."

Sam goes back to talking as you sneak away to get ready for the day. After a little bit you come back out and see Sam and Colby sitting on the bed talking.

"You still up for today?" Colby looks at you and you nod, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" You set your bag down and walk over, sitting in the chair across from them.

"Just making sure." He smiles and you nod, "I mean, I'm nervous, but I'm trying to shake that away."

"It's normal to be nervous, especially when investigating something like this." Sam starts, "You just need to go in there with knowing that you're in charge of yourself."

You let out a breath, "I'm just.." you shake your head, "When do we have to meet Trevor?"

"He said he'll meet us at noon, but if you want we can go get something to eat." Sam suggests and you nod, "Yes. Please, I'm starving."

You make your way out to the car, debating on whether or not you should tell them about the dream you had last night.

You didn't want to freak them out, but at the same time, it felt so real, like you need to tell them.

"Hey, so.." you start out, laughing slightly when Colby looks at you, "I had a weird dream last night, and I debated on not telling you but it was something about the house."

"The house?" Colby questions and you nod, "Yeah, the farmhouse."

"Do you mind if I record this?" Sam asks holding the camera up and you shake your head, "No because it might be a good thing if you do."

You wait for Sam to do his intro, "We are currently on our way to get something to eat before going to meet, Trevor. He's the owner of the Missouri Farmhouse, but first, y/n here told us that she had a dream about the house so I'm just going to let her take it away."

He turns the camera back to you and you sigh, "Okay, so first off I don't even remember falling asleep so that's kind of weird because usually I do, you know what I mean?"

Sam and Colby both nod and you nod back, "Okay, so once the dream started, it was us, standing on the front porch of the house, it's nighttime mind you."

"Extra creepy." Sam laughs and you nod, "Oh yeah. Definitely. So we go in, and for what ever reason, Colby wanted to split up and I just had this absolute gut feeling that we shouldn't. So I kept telling him no, Colby. No we can't split up and he like got, I don't even want to say mad because it was worse than that."

"Almost like something took over him?" Sam asks and you hear Colby whine from the drivers seat, "Why me!?"

You shrug as Sam puts the camera back on you, "That's what I'm saying, like you were told that you were intimidating to the ghosts, and Sam.. well.." you laugh and he moves the camera to frown into it.

"Anyway, so we stick together, but there's all these shadow things moving around and at this point in the dream, I've had enough I want to go home, I'm clinging to Sam.." you see his lips form into a smirk and you try not to smile, ".. screaming to let me go let me go."

You point to Sam, "You, Sam, You're just looking around, watching these things fly and move around us and then all of a sudden everything goes dark, it feels like you're pulled away from me. I'm pushed backwards, and then I woke up. I don't know what time I woke up, but you guys were still asleep and it was still dark out."

Colby glances back at you in the rearview, giving you a why didn't you wake us up? look.

You frown slightly and sigh, "So I don't know if that has anything to do with what we're about to experience or what but it kinda has me shaking a little bit."

"I honestly don't even know what to say to that." Sam laughs slightly, "We wanted to record that just in case anything like that happens tonight at the actual farmhouse, so."

Sam turns the camera to Colby, "Click that like button if you think it will happen and hit that subscribe button if you think it won't." Colby smirks and winks into the camera and Sam smiles as he nods his head, "I see what you did there. Nice."

You laugh and lean back against the seat, your dream replaying in your mind over and over again as you make your way to the restaurant.

After lunch, you guys head to meet Trevor and Colby starts recording as Sam takes a turn driving.

"We are now on our way to meet up with Trevor. He's going to give us the whole run down." Sam looks over at the camera and back to the road, "My hands are sweaty. I'm actually getting more anxious the closer we get to going to the house, you know?"

"No, man. I know what you mean." Colby laughs and nods. You lean over, "We can just pull up to it, you know. Snap a few pictures then leave, I mean we can still say we seen it, right?" You laugh nervously and sigh, "Fuck. I cannot believe we're doing this."

"Well, believe it. We're here." Sam pulls into a driveway and Colby leans forward, "This doesn't look like the Missouri Farmhouse."

Sam starts laughing, "That's because this is Trevor's house, you fuckin' dummy."

You lay your hand over your mouth and Colby sighs as he nods, "Yeah.." He looks down at the camera and nods, "Okay." He turns it off and looks at Sam, "Thanks for embarrassing me, Sam."

"You did that yourself." Sam laughs and gets out, opening your door for you, "Ready?" You look up at him as he shuts the door, "Yeah. Let's go get some more horrific information." Colby walks around the car and stands next to you, "Did he say if it's alright to record this?"

Sam shakes his head, "I'm going to ask him."

You follow them to the door and Sam knocks. A few seconds later, the door opens and what you assume, Trevor smiles, "Hey, Sam?" He holds his hand out to Sam and he takes it, "Yes sir, I'm Sam." He points to Colby, "That's Colby."

"Hey, how are you?" Colby shakes his hand and steps out of the way as he motions to you, "This is y/n." You step up and shake his hand, "Hi. How are you?"

Trevor nods, "I'm good." He smiles, "I'm good. Please.." He steps out of the way and motions for you all to come in. You walk in, followed by the boys and Trevor closes the door, "So what do you want to know?"

"Oh before we start, do you mind if we film this for our video?" Sam holds up the camera and Trevor shakes his head, "Not a problem at all, whatever you need." He takes you guys into his dining room and Sam sets up the camera so you're all in frame.

"These look.. old." Colby reaches out and slides a paper over towards him, "What are these names?" He looks up at Trevor and Trevor sits down, "So this right here." He points to the paper in front of Colby, "We think these are the names of the prostitutes that were taken to the house."

"Like the ones that were sacrificed?" You lean over and look at the paper. Trevor nods, "Yes. We think this was kept by Cordelia as a way for her to have leverage over Arlon."

"Almost like blackmail?" Sam asks as he looks up and Trevor nods, "Exactly. Now these.." He opens a manilla folder and slides papers next to each other, "Lean in and read this. Tell me what you think it is."

All of you lean in, eyes scanning over the semi blurred words that read;

By signing this, you have gradually acquiesced to the demands of our leader, A.W. You must now obey order. If orders are not obeyed, there will be acts of retribution.

A.W. C.W

"Was this like a contract or something? Something that the women were, I'm assuming, forced to sign so they couldn't run and tell the truth about what was happening?" You ask as you look up at him.

Trevor nods, leaning back in his seat, "Precisely."

"Its such a short contract." Colby shakes his head, "But it actually worked? Like it was a valid thing?" Trevor shrugs, "I don't think there was such thing as a notary back then, but with enough people believing in Arlon, I'm sure that didn't make much of a difference."

"Can we take a picture of this name list? Just so we know who to try and talk to?" Colby taps his finger next to the paper and Trevor nods, "Oh yeah, of course. Take a picture of it all if you'd like."

Colby works on taking pictures while you and Sam talk to Trevor, "Can you tell us about any personal experiences that you or anyone else close to you have had?" Sam asks resting his elbows on the table.

Trevor blows out air, "Gosh, I don't even know where to start." He chuckles and you sit up more, "What about the girl that got scratched so bad she bled?"

Trevor's eyes widen as he nods, "Oh shit. Yeah. The panic in her voice when I got the call about them leaving, was not a call I wanted to receive at two a.m."

You nod, "Oh I can imagine. I was reading up on the house over the last few days, and some of the stuff I've read is just.. horrifying."

Trevor nods, "They're not exaggerating it at all, either. The barn, that's where everything was held for a majority of its time. That is where most of the crazy shit happens."

He shuffles through the folder and slides over a blown up picture of a wooden beam sticking straight up out of the ground, "My brothers and I were working on patching up some of the holes in the roof of the barn one day when I suddenly got this really bad, dizzy feeling. I stepped, maybe three steps, and that beam fell straight down onto the exact spot I was standing."

You all look at Trevor in shock and he nods, "Another time, I was in the house looking around to see what we could really remodel. I was standing on the stairs and it honestly felt like someone was trying to throw me over the banister."

"What the hell." Colby shakes his head, holding up hid pointer finger, "Note to self. don't stand too close to the stairs banister."

You and Sam laugh and Trevor nods, "Another don't you should follow." He looks between the three of you, "If you go into Arlon and the wife's room, don't let the door close on you."

"I know.. I'm probably going to regret asking this.." Sam sighs, "Why?"

"I've never had it happen to me, I even went there to see for myself, but I've had multiple reports about some crazy shit happening if you let the door close. For instance." He sits forward, "Someone called me and told me that their hearing.." He puts air quotes, "Stopped working."

"Oh shit." Colby shakes his head, "Almost like they isolated them." Trevor nods, "Yeah, they also said that they've heard things being screamed into their ear. They could never tell me what they heard. Every time they thought about it, it was on the tip of their tongue but they just couldn't ever say it."

"Now that is really freaking weird." Sam shivers, "I have the goosebumps just thinking about that, like being the only one in a room, a dark room at that, and just having something scream shit into your ear that you definitely make out, but you forget about it even though you know it? Does that make sense?"

You nod, "That would drive me absolutely insane." You lean back, stretching your arms out behind you.

"Did you get pictures of everything?" Sam asks Colby and he nods, "Yes, I did. I'll send them to both of you, just in case something happens to my phone." He sends out the pictures to you and Colby and you swipe through them as they finish up talking.

"Thank you so much for meeting with us." Colby holds his hand out to shake Trevor's hand again, "We truly appreciate all the information." Trevor shakes his hand then moves onto Sam's, "Not a problem at all. Again, call if you need anything and just be cautious around and in the barn if you do go in. You never know what can happen."

You nod and walk over to the door with them, "Wait." You turn to Trevor, "You told Sam on the phone that I shouldn't come? Why is that?"

"I found that the females that come to the house are targeted the most, probably out of the dead being jealous of the living." Trevor opens the door, "Just be extra careful, sweetheart. The pretty ones get more attention."

"Oh.. Okay. Thanks." You look from Trevor and Sam and Colby are both staring at you, "Again. Thank you for the information." Colby walks out, stopping to wait for you.

Trevor hands Sam the key, "This will open the front door. Call if you need anything."

"Thank you." Sam grabs the key, "I'll be sure to let you know how it goes." He lays a hand on your back as you walk in front of him.

"Good luck." Trevor yells before closing the door.

You get in the car after Sam open's your door, "He was fine up until the very end. I didn't like that." Colby looks back at you, "I don't think he meant it in the way that we took it, bu-"

Sam cuts him off, "I still didn't like it."

You laugh slightly, "It's fine. We have something bigger to worry about now." You take a deep breath, "The Missouri Farmhouse."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Stop here so we can get a shot of the entrance." Colby points and you lean around, "That's actually very fucking creepy."

Colby nods, "I know, all of the trees and then just this dirt, gravel road." he rolls his window down and holds the camera out, recording as Sam drive onto the long driveway.

Your heart drops into your stomach as the house comes into view.

"There she be." Sam says and you shake your head, "I already don't like this." You laugh nervously and Colby puts the camera on you, "You nervous or something?"

You roll your eyes and clear your throat, "What? Me? No. Not at all." You look at him serious, "Yeah, very much actually."

Colby laughs and turns the camera to Sam, "Well, brother. Now that were here.. how are you feeling?" Sam parks and takes a deep breath, "I honestly don't know." He laughs and looks over, "Y/n's dream kind of has me freaked out."

"Tell me about it." You run a hand through your hair, staring at the house as Colby records it, "Well, guys. This is .. The Missouri Farmhouse."

"We are going to get our things together and we will take you guys on a tour before it gets dark out, just so you can all see how old this house really is." Sam looks into the camera and Colby tilts his head, "You mean to show them how creepy this place actually is?"

Sam nods, "Same thing." He laughs as he turns the car off. Colby shuts the camera off and gets out, opening your door for you. You move at a slow pace, not rushing to get inside. You slip on your jacket, "How cold is it supposed to get?"

"I believe low forties." Sam says as he pops the trunk. You nod as you pull the hood from your sweatshirt out of the back of your jacket. Colby walks up next to you, "You ready?"

"As I can be." You smile up at him and he lays a hand on your hip, "At anytime-"

"You tell me this every time I do an investigation with you guys, and you know that if I absolutely cannot handle it anymore, I'll tell you." You smirk as he smiles and nods, "Just like to remind you."

"I appreciate that." You smile and turn to look at Sam, "So were just going to do a walk through?" He nods, "Yeah, I figured that with it still being daylight, we can get footage of how everything looks normal because I honestly feel everything is going to intensify when the sun goes down."

Colby puts his jacket on and sighs, "Ready?"

You and Sam look at him with a nod, "Ready."

Sam starts rolling, "Alright guys. So we are on our way into the house. This is what it looks like on the outside." Sam turns the camera around, panning it over the huge farmhouse standing before you.

You walk up to the door and Sam hands Colby the camera as he pulls the key from his pocket. He slips the key into the old looking lock and turns it, "Alright." Sam looks back as the door cracks open, "We're in."

"No going back now." Colby chuckles and hands the camera back to Sam so he can walk in first. You follow, Colby right behind you.

You trip on the step and fall into Sam, "I tripped." You announce quickly, "Sorry."

"You okay?" He turns around, laying a hand on your side and you nod, laughing slightly, "Yeah. I'm good." You look away from Sam, eyes scanning over the house.

Sam pans the camera around, "It's so old, yet so beautiful."

"Whoa, look at this." Colby walks over and Sam follows him. Colby points to a portrait on the wall, it's old and kind of ripped, "I think this is Arlon and Cordelia."

As Sam and Colby are talking about the portrait, you get this unsettling feeling that you're being watching, "Guys.." your voice is almost inaudible.

You reach out, tapping Colby's arm and he turns around, "Did you just- what's wrong?"

"Something is watching us." You swallow and turn around.

A shadow moves from the top corner of the doorway and you point, "That door. There was something in the top corner."

"Oh fuck." Sam walks in front of you, camera pointed at the door, "what did it look like?" He looks back at you and you shrug, "It was just a shadow, like a head shaped shadow."

"Jesus Christ." Colby shakes his head, "So we won't be going that way." He laughs and points the other way. You nod, "Yeah, that room.. gives me a bad feeling."

"What kind of feeling?" Sam looks at you and you take a breath, "Dark, evil kind of feeling."

Sam and Colby just stare at you for a second, "Okay." Sam says breaking the silence, "Moving away from that room."

You walk down the hall, staying as close as you can to them while holding your arms around yourself. Sam and Colby explain some backstory while you can't help but continuously look around like someone else is there.

"So there's what? Two three floors to this?" Colby asks.

"Three, but the third is the attic, but I guess it's huge." Sam answers. He looks over at you, "What's going on?"

You shake your head, "It doesn't feel like we're alone. Like don't you feel that weird feeling like someone is standing like right.." you wave your hand up and down behind Sam, "Here."

Sam turns around as Colby walks over, standing right where you motioned to, "Here you said?"

You nod and Colby looks at Sam, "I don't feel-" he moves back, "Whoa." He looks around quick and moves to stand next to you, "swear to god something just pushed me."

"We saw it." Sam looks from you to Colby, "Are you okay?" You lay your hand on his arm, "You were pushed backwards, so whatever that was, it was between us."

"Fuck." Colby shakes his head, "Do you still feel like someone else is here?"

You take a deep breath, shaking your head, "No. it vanished right as you got pushed."

"You moved next to y/n. What if they think that we're trying to -" Sam puts air quotes, "-protect her?" He shrugs, "I mean, we were told that they'll go after her more because she's a girl and the spirits can have some sort of jealousy towards her."

You shiver slightly, "That just send a chill down my spine, Sam. That's honestly so bizarre to hear out loud."

You snap your head to the left, eyes focused on the staircase, "shh." You hold your hand out, frozen for a second until you look at Sam, "There was walking, like heavy footsteps on the stairs."

There's a sudden loud thump only a few feet away from you that causes you all to jump and yell out, "Oh shit."

"What the fuck!?"

"Goddammit."

It happens again, and this time you jump towards Colby, grabbing onto his arm as you look at Sam, "What the hell was that?"

He shrugs, "I don't know but we should keep moving." He nods towards the hall and you and Colby follow him, making sure to stay extra close to them.

They continue talking about the place, making sure to give you reassuring glances every so often as you explore the rest of the house.

Soon enough, you're face to face with the barn.

"I mean.." Colby starts out as he takes the camera from Sam, "It doesn't really look all the scary in the daylight."

Sam laughs slightly, "It looks, kind of pretty with the light shining down through the beams."

You get dizzy, and it happens quick.

"Oh god." You mumble as you hold your head. Sam is right next to you, arm around your waist and you lean into him.

"What's going on?" Colby asks confused and you feel Sam shrug. You take a deep breath, slowly lifting your head, "I got, really dizzy."

Sam looks up at Colby and back to you, "Are you still dizzy?" You can tell there's concern in his voice, "Do you need to sit down?"

You shake your head, blinking a few times, "No. I think I'm okay." You brush hair from your face, eyes moving past Colby to look into the death filled barn, "That's not a good place."

Colby turns around, pointing the camera at the entrance, "If you wouldn't know anything about this place, it honestly looks like a normal barn that was abandoned, you know?"

Sam nods, arm still around you, "I'm actually kind of scared for when the sun goes down."

Colby nods, "I'm sure we're all feeling that way." He looks at you then to Sam, "I'm going to walk up, get a shot of the inside, you guys stay here."

"Colby." Sam warns, "I wouldn't."

"Yeah, don't go up there alone, please." You practically beg. Colby shrugs, "I'll be fine, I'll just run up and run back."

You tighten your grip on Sam's jacket as you watch Colby walk up towards the barn. You were preparing yourself to run and help him.

You had to be on your toes while here, this place is so unpredictable.

"Yo Colby." Sam yells, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I got it." Colby yells back, "Coming."

Your eyes are focused on Colby as he walks towards you and Sam, glancing behind him every so often. He wants up, pointing his thumb behind him, "It sounded like someone, you know those loft spaces in a barn where they store the hay?"

You and Sam nod and Colby looks back before continuing, "It sounded like someone was up there, scuffling around."

"That's not surprising. That's the most active spot out of everything." Sam shakes his head, "alright. So I'm thinking we go get something to eat, calm our nerves and really prepare for what we're going to be facing tonight."

Colby nods, "That's a good idea." His head snaps towards the house, "There's no fucking way."

"What?" Sam takes the camera, "What happened?"

You stay close to Sam, looking to where Colby is staring, "Did you hear something?"

"It sounded like someone yelled back here in the distance, like they were telling someone to get back here? You know what I mean?" He looks at Sam, "We're the only ones out here right?"

"We should be." Sam pans the camera around the old farm, "Take one last look, because when we get back. Everything will be engulfed with darkness."

"Isn't it already?" Colby asks, "With the spirits and all of that?"

Sam sighs, "I mean. Yeah, I guess. But I was trying to make it thrilling." He pouts and shuts the camera off as you and Colby laugh.

"Let's go take a minute." Sam lays his hand on your lower back, "We can go over the plan of where we want to start and where we want to end while we wait for the sun to go down."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

After dinner, you're in the car heading back to the farmhouse and you can't shake the nervous feeling.

All of the news articles pop back up into your head, flipping through like pages in a book.

"Y/n?" Colby's voice makes you jump, "Fuck." You laugh slightly, "Sorry. I was thinking about everything I read."

"Yeah, us too." Colby looks to Sam and back to you, "If things go south, we're getting out of there. No questions asked, no it'll be good content, nothing."

You nod, "Deal."

"If you at anytime don't feel like you can do it anymore.." Sam starts, "Same for you Colby, we're done."

Colby nods and you sit up, "I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that that girl had blood drawn."

"Spirits are powerful things, y/n. If they don't like you, they'll make it known." Colby quickly sighs, "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. I know that's probably something you don't want to hear after-"

"No, Colby." You lay your hand on his shoulder, "You're fine. I'm fine. We're all going to be fine."

You lean back, taking a deep breath as you see a familiar sign that lets you know you're almost to the beginning of the dirt road.

"We're almost there." Sam says, "Do you want to get the camera out Colby? We need to get a shot of this." He motions to the windshield, and you look out at the dark road that's only lit by the headlights of the car.

"Oh fuck me." You breathe out, laying a hand on your forehead, "This is sketchy as hell."

"I'm going to stop and turn the lights off." Sam comes to a slow stop, looking over at Colby, "Ready?"

Colby nods, "Rolling." He points the camera forward and Sam flicks the lights off, leaving the three of you in total darkness.

"Oh m- that is fucking scary." Colby laughs, "What the hell."

"Now imagine I turn the lights on and there's something just sta-"

"Sam!" You yell, tapping his shoulder, "Don't say that!" You laugh, "I'm already peeing my pants back here."

"Are you really?" Sam teases. Even thought you can't see him, you can tell he turns around and you scoff, "No, not really."

He flicks the lights back on and thankfully there's nothing there. You let out a sigh of relief as Sam starts driving again.

Sam and Colby go back and forth about the darkness, laughing and joking like they normally do. You weren't sure if it was your dream keeping a tight hold on you, or the fact that you're a girl going to this no girls allowed club, or what.

But you were scared, and you knew that you had to pretend that you weren't and it was going to be hard.

"Alright." Sam taps the wheel, "We meet again."

"The sun going down has definitely amplified the creepiness by a thousand times." Colby adds, "I have goosebumps."

Your eyes stay on the house and you squint, "Did you guys light that candle when we were in there?"

"What?" Colby turns around and Sam comes to a stop, "I didn't light anything."

You look back up at the house and the light you thought you seen wasn't there anymore, "It's not.. maybe it was just the headlights."

"I wouldn't be surprised if anything was on in there, so maybe you did see something lit." Sam assures you, "Let's get everything ready and take final minute before going in."

Colby shuts the camera off and gets out with Sam. You sit there for a moment before Sam opens your door, leaning down to look at you, "You okay?"

You turn your head to look at him, "Yeah. Yeah. Just taking a minute for myself." You slide over, swinging your legs out, "I'm ready."

You look up at Sam and he grips your chin, "That's our girl." He winks and helps you get out, closing your door behind you.

You walk around, grabbing your backpack from the trunk. You make sure you have everything that you planned on taking, along with the boys.

"I'm good." Sam says zipping up his backpack.

Colby nods, swinging his around to put his arms through the straps, "Me too."

"Yep. Let's go." You put your backpack on and step back so Colby can shut the trunk. He sets the camera on top and turns it on.

He back up, standing on the other side of you, "We are here."

"It's dark." Sam adds before Colby picks up, "It's finally time to explore the famous Missouri Farmhouse."

You look around, nothing but the light from the camera illuminating the short distance around you.

"Did you hear something?" Sam looks at you and you look at him, "No. I'm just looking around." You laugh and look at the camera.

"So we came up with a game plan of where we want to go first, and where we want to go last." Sam claps his hands together, "We all agreed that the barn is the last place we want to go, so stay tuned for that and we'll see you in a second."

Colby walks up, cutting the camera, "alright. Let's head up."

As you walk up to the house, you look behind you, squinting at the sight of a possible figure standing still at the back of the car.

You blink and it's gone.

You shake your head, looking forward as you're met with the farmhouse door. You look up, turning to look out into the darkness.

Colby opens the door and walks on, Sam lays a hand on your back, nudging you slightly so you walk in.

I'm not scared, you think, mind over matter. I'm not scared.

The camera light shines on the dark interior and Colby bumping into you causes you to jump, "Colby!" You yell quietly with a laugh.

"Sorry. Sorry." He laughs and lays a hand on your shoulder. Sam spins around, pointing the camera on you and him, "should we bring out the Epoch box?"

"Yes. That's a good start." Colby says, "Do you have it or do I?"

"I think you do." He points to Colby and Colby nods, "Okay." He pulls his backpack off and you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling a chill creep down between the multiple layers of clothing.

You let out a sigh, stepping closer to Sam.

"You alright?" He whispers looking over at you. You nod, "Just cold. I got a chill standing over there."

"I'll get this thing going." Colby stands up, walking over to the small end table, "So this is called the Epoch box. It isn't motion censored, but it's similar to the Ovilus as it uses a sophisticated algorithm to read the environment and converts the energy into yes or no responses."

"I'm Sam, these are my friends Colby and y/n. We're here to ask some questions and with those we come in peace. We mean absolutely no harm to anyone here so if it's okay with you.." he pauses, looking between you and Colby, "Can we ask you some questions?"

The box flickers a few times before lighting up green for a few seconds then stops.

"Okay. Is Arlon here with us?" Sam keeps the camera on the box as you all wait.

The box lights up red for a few seconds before shutting off. It flickers before going dark and you sigh, "I'm y/n. I mean no harm to anyone here." You step forward, "Is this Cordelia?"

The box flickers before lighting up green for a few seconds.

"So it's her." You look at Sam and then to Colby and he nods. He looks down at the box and furrows his brows, "Sam."

"What?" Sam walks over, making sure you go with him, "did it just turn off?" Sam looks up at Colby with a shocked expression.

Colby lifts it, "That says on, right?"

"So it.. what? Died?" Sam asks confused, "what the fuck?"

A loud thump makes you jump and you look behind you. It catches Sam and Colby's attention too because they turn after you, "What was that?" Colby whispers, "Sounded like a-"

Thump!

"That." You point, "That sounds-"

Thump! Thump!

"Okay." Sam sighs, "Lets move to the den area." Sam lays his hand on your back and turns back to Colby, "Just switch it off. Maybe we can get it to work somewhere else."

Colby nods, picking it up, "You said the den area?" Sam nods and Colby pulls out his phone. Sam looks at you and you look at him, shrugging before both looking back to Colby.

He holds his phone up, "I knew I remember seeing something about a den. Look." He shows you and Sam his phone and you nod, "so he had favorites."

"Looks like it to me." Sam says as he shows the camera Colby's phone, "Hold on, I'm trying not to get a gla- oh here we go."

Colby puts his phone in his pocket and sighs, "So. To the den we go?"

"The den we go." Sam nods before you all walk towards the end of the hall. Colby opens the door, announcing that it's you guys before walking in.

You get a weird feeling, almost like you're uncomfortable.

You shift around, pulling down your sweatshirt and jacket, "This room feels.. uncomfortable." You look at them, "Like I think I can tell what happened here just by how I'm feeling."

"If he had favorites, I'm sure we can all figure out what happened in this room." Colby points to you, "Do you want to leave? Are you okay?"

You shake your head, "No, I think I'll be fine. Do you have any names?" Colby pulls his phone back out and nods, "Edith Macentire, Daisy Lovell, Lydia?" he zooms in and shakes his head, "I can't read the last one."

"I'll get out the REM pod." Sam hands the camera to Colby before swinging his backpack off. He gets out the pod and looks around, "I'm not going to put it by the door, I'll put it.." he walks over to the small stand that's in front of the window and sets it down.

"Hello, I'm Sam. Just want to ask you a few questions, I mean no harm. I just want to try and figure out what happened in here." He gently claps his hands together, "there's a light on that pod there, if you get close enough to it, a light will flash. If you want to answer any questions, all you have to do is just make that light up, okay?"

A few minutes goes by before the light turns on.

"Okay. Is this Edith Macentire?" Sam keeps his eyes on the pod, "Just touch it once for yes or-"

The light flashes once time and turns off. Sam looks back at you and Colby, "Edith, did bad things happen in this room?"

The pod lights up one time and you move your hand to tap Colby, "don't we have a spirit box?" He nods, "Yeah." You look at Sam and back to Colby, "I think we should use it. I just feel like we need it right now."

"Okay." Colby nods, "I think it's in your bag." Sam walks up behind you and the REM pod goes off constantly.

Sam leans out from behind you, "What the fuck." Colby shrugs, looking back at him, "I don't know, man." Colby keeps the camera on the pod as Sam walks over, "I'm going to shut this off." Sam grabs the REM pod and holds it in his arm as he sets the little radio box on the stand, "You will be able to tell us things through this."

Sam step back, taking the camera from Colby so he can move up, "I'm Colby, I mean absolutely no harm, neither do my friends. Can you tell us what happened in this room?"

The static sounds for a few minutes, "..Man.."

"Man?" Colby questions, "Are you talking about Arlon?"

"..Evil!.."

"Arlon was an evil man." Sam shakes his head, "Are we still talking to Edith?" The static plays in the silence for a minute longer, "..Lydia.."

"Lydia. Can you tell us what the evil man did?" Colby rests his fingers on his chin as he watches the box, "..he said.. wouldn't die.."

"Did he tell them that they wouldn't die?" Sam whispers and you nod, "I think that's what she means. Maybe he promised them a good life since he was-"

Your words are cut short by the box, ".. he wants you.."

Your eyes go wide and your heart sinks into your stomach, "Huh?" Colby looks at you, Sam, then back to the box, "Who wants who, Lydia?"

You can feel your heart starting to race and it feels like something is creeping up behind you. You glance behind you, seeing nothing as you move closer to Sam.

Sam looks down at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder as he holds the camera on Colby. Colby shake his head, "I think she's gone."

Instantly after Colby stops talking, "..run!"

You feel a gently tug on your jacket before it feels like a yank and you're pulled from Sam, both of you yelling at the same time. He grabs your arm pulling you back to him as Colby comes over, "What the fuck just happened?"

You cling to Sam as he hands the camera to Colby. Colby keeps the camera pointed down, "Sam wh-"

"..I told you.."

Colby walks over, shutting off the box, "Okay that's enough for now." He walks back over, camera still down at your guy's feet , "Are you okay?"

You keep your head pressed against Sam's chest, "When it said he wants you.. I got this feeling that there was something, I don't know." You sigh, "Creeping up behind me and then right after run was said, I got yanked backwards."

"I don't.." Colby shakes his head, letting out a sigh, "I don't want to say anything, but I know we're all thinking it.."

"He wants her." Sam says nodding down to you. Colby nods, "Mhm." You lift your head from Sam's chest and sigh as you try not to laugh, "This is insane."

Sam takes the camera back and you walk towards Colby, taking a deep breath, "Okay. Where to next?"

Colby smiles slightly and shakes his head, "You want to keep going?" You nod, "I'm not tapping out yet."

"We hit two of three places down here, I don't really want to go into that room she saw the shadow figure in. Not at night, gives me a very bad feeling." Sam says and you nod, "So, upstairs then?"

"I think we should go into Arlon and Cordelia's room." Colby raises his brows and you nod, "Just please don't let the door shut."

You make your way out of the den and into the hallway. Colby shuts the door and you all freeze as you hear something in the hallway.

You wait a few seconds before starting to walk, "So.." Colby says to the camera, "We are currently making our way up to the bedroom that housed the ring leaders to this whole shabang."

You laugh slightly, "Shabang." Sam smirks and Colby rolls his eyes as he chuckles.

Each creek of the stairs is unsettling to you. You're jumpy, really jumpy. So every little sound causes your body to feel like you're going to jump out of your skin.

"Alright." Sam breathes out, "We have reached Arlon and Cordelia's humble abode." He takes a deep breath, "We should find something heavy to put in front of the door so that way if it moves we can hear it."

Colby reaches for the handle, looking between you and Sam, "Ready?" You and Sam both nod and you walk up behind Colby as he pushes the door open slowly, "Okay. I don't see any-"

Something falls right into the door way and you gasp while jumping back. Sam groans, "Jesus Christ." Colby squeezes his eyes shut and open them, "I may have peed a little bit."

You look down and step towards Sam, "Oh gross."

"I didn't.. actually.." Colby sighs and shakes his head, "Let's just go in." Colby steps in and turns around, "The atmosphere in here is.. different."

You walk in and look at Colby, "You're right." Sam follows you and looks around, "That's actually super fucking crazy."

Colby keeps his hand on the door while you look for something kind of heavy, "Would this work? If we just pull this over in front of it?" You point to a small table and he shrugs, "I can stay by the door just in case."

You push the small table over, freezing as you hear footsteps in the hall.

"Did those come from up here or down there?" Sam whispers and Colby shrugs, shaking his head, "I-I don't-"

What sounds like running in the hall causes you and Sam to move by Colby. Sam leans forward, aiming the camera into the darkened passage, "I don't see any-"

"Did that just move?" You say cutting Sam off as you point to the bed, "The blanket. Wasn't that tucked up by the pillows nice and neat when we came in?"

"I have no idea, I didn't really look." Sam says, "It could have-" he tells jumping slightly, "Fuck."

"What what what!?" Colby yells quickly, "you good?!"

Sam nods, "Yeah, just something like drug up the back of my leg."

"Do you feel like you're scratched?" You take the camera from him and he just stands there staring at the ground, "Sam." You snap your fingers and lean in to look at his face, "Sam. Hey."

He blinks as you wave your hand in front of his face and looks up at you, "No. I'm good."

You look at Colby and Colby shakes his head, "Where'd you go man?" He looks at Colby confused, "What do you mean? I've been right here."

You slowly shake your head, gasping loudly when you see something in the slightly dusty mirror, "Oh my god. The mirror." You aim the camera at it, the light from the camera reflecting off, "A woman, was just standing there."

"Cordelia?" Colby asks and you shrug as you look to Sam, "You with us?" You reach out, wrapping your hand around his wrist.

He slides his hand into yours and squeezes it, "Yeah, no. I just. I'm dizzy. Like really dizzy."

Colby lays a hand on your back, "Let's get out of this room." You hand Colby the camera as you guide Sam out. He walks over to the wall, resting his back against it and you look back at Colby, watching as he closes the door.

"Hey, you alright?" Colby asks walking up, "Did you see anything when you spaced out?"

Sam shakes his head, "No, I just couldn't look up from the floor." He runs a hand over his face, "I could hear you calling for me, but I just-"

"Frozen." You say and he nods, "Literally, yeah. That. I didn't hear anything other than you and Colby." You step towards him and lay your hand on his shoulder.

He tilts his head back, resting it against the glass, "I'm not dizzy anymore."

"Well that's good." Colby sighs, "do you need a water or anything?" Sam shakes his head, moving to stand up straight, "No, I'm alright."

You glance to Colby and he nods, "Let's take a minute. It's been a lot for all of us right now."

"No let's just keep going." Sam insists, "I'm fine."

Colby nods and you sigh quietly, "Okay. Where to next?" Sam points down the hall, "Arlon gave Cordelia an office like room to keep things organized, I guess. We can do that then we can go outside for a minute."

"Whatever you want to do, Sam." Colby says and Sam nods, "I'm good." He smiles, "I promise."

You nod, following him down the hall to one of the doors, "Okay, so." Sam points to the door and Colby shows it to the camera as Sam continues to speak, "This is where all of the information they could get about each prostitute was kept. Cordelia, Arlon's wife was in charge of getting them to come back here."

"Do you think she talked them up wherever she found them or kind of did like an interview situation?" You look from Sam to Colby and Colby points, "That's actually a really good point, we can get the spirit box or something out and ask."

"We can try the Epoch box again. See if downstairs was just a bad spot for it." Sam says before reaching for the doorknob, "it's just us again."

He steps in and turns around, making sure you're behind him. Colby follows and pans the camera around the room, "It really is like an old timey office."

"Look, this is that same list of names, do you think this is the original?" You move over to the desk, looking at the old looking piece of paper. Sam walks over and check it out, "This might be a copy? I mean, it looks pretty real to be a copy, so I don't know."

Colby moves over, shining the light from the camera over the page so you can see it better, "I wouldn't mess with it, you know just, to be on the safe side."

You nod and hold your hand up, "Do you hear that?" Sam and Colby look to you before turning towards the open door.

The sound of a door opening and shutting echos through the hallway.

"What door is that?" Colby whispers and Sam shrugs, "Could it be the bedroom?" Colby walks over, peaking out as he aims the camera.

He leans back in quickly and exhales, "Holy fucking shit." He looks to you and Sam, "Holy. Fucking shit."

"Did you see something?" Sam asks, "Colby. What did you see?"

"The door, to the bedroom, was cracked open and a shadow came up the steps and went into the room then it shut." Colby's breath is shaky.

"No fucking way." Sam lays a hand on his mouth, "Are you serious?" Colby nods, "Swear to fucking god, Sam. I'm not shitting you, it- here." He hands Sam the camera and reenacts what he saw, "It came up the steps like this, slow. Then just turned like this.." he turns his body, "And then just went into the room."

"Jesus Christ." Sam sighs and you lay your hand on your forehead. You feel like you're sweating, "Do you guys, feel.. hot?"

Sam turns to you, "Are you- what's going on?" He feels your forehead, "Colby, she's sweating."

"How? It's like forty degrees outside." He walks over to the other side of you and you lean against him, "I think we need to take a break."

"Yeah. I agree." Sam nods, taking the camera from Colby before Colby wraps his arm around your waist, "Come on." He walks over to the door, looking out before rounding the corner with you.

The only light you have is from the camera that Sam has behind you. He pulls his phone out, switching on his flashlight as you reach the steps.

"Careful." Sam says as you and Colby step onto the first one. These steps were old, so you had to go up and down with care.

You reach the bottom as just as you are about to make it to the front door, it feels like something grabs your arm and tries to pull you away from Colby.

A faint, "Stay.." is whispered as you pull your arm back.

"Something just grabbed me and told me to stay. It was super quiet." You grip Colby's jacket and he opens the door, "You're good. We got you."

He walks you outside and Sam shuts the door behind him with a loud, "Holy fuck."

"Yeah. Yeah." Colby nods as he walks you over to the car, "Here." He opens the door, "Sit for a second."

You sit down and let out a sigh, "Sam, are you okay?" You look up at him and he walks over to you, "Yes, sweetheart. I'm fine."

You smile slightly and nod, "Okay." He brushes hair from your face, "Are you?" You nod and he turns to Colby, "Are you okay?"

Colby nods, "Yeah." He shakes his head, "Maybe we should do a recap before anything else." Sam nods, looking back at you, "Stay here."

"You don't have to worry about that." You laugh slightly, watching as Sam walks to the back of the car. You rest your head against the seat, listening to them talk to the camera.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You stand up, slinging the back pack over your shoulder, "I know it wasn't really in the plan, but I think we should do the Estes method in between the barn and the house."

Colby looks between you and Sam, "Do you think that that's really a good idea?"

Sam puts his backpack on, moving his hood out, "I mean, it can't hurt to try. Two of us will be able to see and hear."

Colby shakes his head, "I don't know. This place just makes me nervous for something like that." Sam nods, "No I understand, but I was honestly going to say something about doing that too."

Colby chews on his cheek for a few seconds, "Who ever does it, has to be prepared, that's all I'm saying." Sam sighs, "Yeah, Colby. I know."

This place was doing something to them.

To all of you.

Tensions are usually never this high. You knew you all wanted to do this for the video, but you also knew that you all didn't really want to be there anymore.

"Let's just.." Colby sighs and you cut in, getting out of the car, "Let's just take it one step at a time because we really don't know what is going to happen."

"She's right." Sam says, we can just go back, maybe set up flashlights? I don't know where but we can try that?"

Colby nods, "Yeah." He grabs the camera, "Come on." He switches the camera on as you start to walk back towards the house.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You all stop, looking at each other before the sound of something tapping against the glass catching your attention again, tap. Tap. Tap.

"Okay.. that's freaky." Sam laughs slightly, "What window is it?" You shrug, "It sounds close." Your eyes scan over the windows that are lit up by the camera light.

You point to the middle window, "The curtains moved in that one." Colby steps towards the window, holding up the camera to see inside when all of a sudden he jumps back after a loud thump on the glass scares him.

"What the fuck!" He yells stepping back, "That was literally right fucking there."

"There's no way that wasn't on video. Holy shit." Sam walks up to the window and looks in, "I don't.. see.. anything.."

He shakes his head and looks back at you, "Lets go around to the back." You and Colby follow him as you walk around to the back.

Colby shines the camera over towards the bar, "There it is." He shivers slightly, "Just looking at it sends a shiver down my spine."

"So what do we want to do?" Sam asks as he looks between you and Colby. You shrug, "I'm all for doing the Estes method."

Sam nods and looks at Colby, "Colby?"

Colby sighs, "I guess we can do that, but who-"

"I'll do it." You raise your hand and they both just look at you with a solid look. Sam sighs, "We can all do it. Take turns."

"I'll go first." Colby says handing Sam the camera. Sam looks at him, "You sure?" Colby nods, swinging his back pack off, "Yeah."

You look at Sam and back to Colby, watching as he digs in his bag to pull out a bandana and the equipment.

You had an eerie feeling creeping in again, maybe it was just your nerves about doing this method with the barn right there.

"Okay. So are we thinking like right in the middle?" Colby asks and Sam reaches out, pointing to a specific spot, "Yeah I'm thinking something like right in here. It looks about halfway."

Colby sets his bag on the ground and sits down next to it. He takes a deep breath, "Okay." He wraps the bandana around his eyes and ties it behind his head.

Sam sets the camera down on top of his backpack, angling it so you're all in frame as you sit on either side of Colby.

Sam leans over, showing the camera how loud the static plays through the headphones. He hands them to Colby, "Here you go."

Colby takes them and puts them on, shaking his head slightly as he gets used to them, "Pain."

You look at Sam with your eyes wide, "What the fuck."

Sam shrugs, "I know you were and still are in a lot of pain. Can you tell my friend, Colby here who is talking to us."

Your eyes move to Colby as he tilts his head, "Why?"

"Are you asking us why we're here?" You ask and Colby answers, "Yes, why?"

"We're here to figure out what to the women Cordelia brought back to this farmhouse." Sam says and Colby taps his knee with his hand, "There was like.. a scream?"

"Who are we talking to?" Sam asks looking around, "Are we talking to one of the girls?"

"In the barn." Colby says, "He wants.. you in the barn."

"Who wants us in the barn?" You ask, "Does Arlon want us to come into the barn?"

"not all." Colby states, "Just one."

Sam points to you and you shake your head, "I'm not going in there alone. I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

As soon as the words leave Colby's lips, the hood on your sweatshirt is pulled back and you slam your hands behind you to catch yourself as you let out a scream, "What the fuck?"

Sam taps Colby and Colby pushes the headphones off, "Right before you tapped me, there was a deep, manly like laugh."

"Right after you said yes you are, she got pulled backwards." Sam looks over at you, "Are you okay?"

You nod, "Yeah." You sigh, "Yeah. That just, I let my guard down for a second." You run a hand through your hair and move closer to Colby, "That barn just.." you glance back at it and your eyes focus on the dark inside.

You can't tell if your brain is playing tricks, or if you actually see things moving.

You look away, trying to focus on Sam filling in Colby on what you and him asked, but you just can't seem to stay focused.

You rest your elbows on your knees, holding your face in your hands.

You feel Colby's hand on your shoulder, but you just can't acknowledge it. You take a deep breath and manage to lift your head, "I just.. couldn't get focused there for a second."

"You good now? What happened?" Sam asks and you nod, "I looked at the barn and I just couldn't look away. It's like I was supposed to be looking at that and only that. So I just rested my head down until the feeling went away."

"Fuck." Sam whispers as he looks to the left, "That place is more powerful than people think."

"Here." You take the bandana from Colby, "I'll go."

He lets you take it, "Are you sure?" You nod as you untie it, "Yes." You wrap the bandana around your head, completely blocking your vision. You take a shaky breath as you feel Colby lay the headphones in your hand.

"Whenever you're ready." He assures and you nod before putting them on, static completely drowning out everything else.

Sam takes a deep breathe, "Can you tell us who we're talking to?"

"Sam." You straighten your back as his name rolls off your tongue, "Colby?"

"What do you want with y/n?" Colby asks, eyes glued to you, "Why do you want her?"

You try and keep your breathing under control as you do your best to listen, "You can't have her."

"No." Sam says sternly, "You're the one who can't have her. She isn't yours to touch or have, just like the innocent women that you killed years ago."

You tighten your hands into fists, "They weren't good."

"Why weren't they good? Can you tell us what was bad about them?" Colby asks as he looks around, "Arlon. Can you tell us why?"

You listen few seconds, "Arlon. He's here. It's him. Help."

Colby takes a deep breath, "Should we pull her out?" Sam shakes his head, "Not yet. Arlon, why are they so scared of you?"

You tilt your head, "Bad things happened. He did it."

"We know he did bad things. We know it was him. Can y-" Sam stops talking as you cut him off.

You speak normally, "It's almost like they're arguing with him."

Sam looks at Colby, "Arguing? Like one do the girls and Arlon?" Colby shrugs, "Can you tell us why he killed those women?" Colby pauses for second, "Why did he kill you?"

Words are shouted loudly in your ear, "He says he had to."

"Was it the cult he ran? Can you tell us about that?" Sam asks, watching you.

You shake your head, " He wanted to."

Sam and Colby look at each other, "Did Cordelia bring you to the house?" Sam runs a hand through his hair, glancing at the camera before snapping his head back to you.

"You don't love her."

"who? Who are you talking about?" Colby asks, "Who doesn't love who?"

"Sam. Colby." You pause for a second, "Y/n."

"Holy shit." Sam sighs, "Why do you want y/n?"

"Mine."

"Not a chance." Colby says looking at Sam, "I'm going to tap her leg."

"Mine. No!"

"Colby. Her hair." Sam points to your hair that's lifting off your shoulder and Colby taps your leg a few times, kinda rough.

You jump as you feel the tapping and you push the headphones off before ripping the bandana off of your head, "Okay. What the fuck?"

Sam has a shocked look on his face and Colby lays a hand on your back, "Did you not feel your hair lifting up?"

You shake your head, "Um. No." You run your hand down over your hair, "I was only focused on the arguing I was hearing, what were you guys asking?"

They fill you in and you raise your brows, "So it makes sense as to why it sounded like it was arguing." You shake your head, "That's.. actually kind of scary, not going to lie."

"I don't think you going any closer to the barn is a good idea." Colby says, "I don't want to risk you getting hurt or anything."

You nod, "No I agree. I don't even like looking at it." You look to the barn and away, shaking your head as you close your eyes, "Anyway. Sam. Are you doing this?"

Sam nods, "Yeah. Yeah." He takes the headphones, sitting down in the same spot you and Colby sat. He ties the blindfold around his head and takes a deep breath before putting on the headphones.

Instantly, his words are loud, "Help.."

"What do you need help with?" Colby asks as he sits down next to him, "Who is asking for help?"

You freeze, eyes moving from Sam to Colby as soon as Sam just starts listing off names non stop, "Kathleen, April, Eloise, Bethany, Rita, Liza, Sarah, Taylor.."

"Are you the girls Arlon sacrificed?" You ask and Sam responds instantly, "Yes, he's evil."

"Is he with us right now?" Colby asks and Sam tilts his head, "He went out."

"Where did he go?" Colby asks, and you'rere frozen with fear as you see a black shadow figure move a little being Colby, "C-Colby."

"Outside." Sam says and Colby looks at you, "Where outside?" He looks back at Sam, "Is he with us?"

Sam doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

You reach over, tapping Colby's leg, "there was a shadow figure behind you." He turns around quickly and looks back at you, "Where?"

"It was like a foot or so back from you. I don't know, I just seen it and then it was gone." You wrap your arms around your tighter, "Mayne we sho-"

"No." Sam says, "Don't go."

"Why?" You ask, "Why do you want us to stay?"

"You know." Sam says and you shake your head, "we're not staying." You go to tap Sam's leg but it's almost like something grabs your wrist to prevent you from disturbing him.

"I can't.." you try to pull your hand away but it's like stuck there, "Colby."

"They can't help you." Sam says and then he rips the headphones off, throwing them away from him. He pushes the blindfold up and your hand drops, "Fucking no. No fucking way."

"Are you okay?" Colby grabs your hand and your hand goes to wrap around it, "My wrist is burning." Sam crawls forward, grabbing the flashlight from his bag. He shines the light on your skin and you all become shocked when you see finger marks on your wrist.

"I went to tap Sam, get him out of it, and something grabbed my wrist, I couldn't move until Sam threw off the headphones." You explain, pulling your wrist to your chest.

"No, we're done. We're leaving." Colby stands up, grabbing his backpack and it sounds like something heavy falls in the barn, causing all of you to move back a little bit.

"What was that?" Sam asks quietly and you all just stare at the dark opening of the barn, "I don't know and I really don't want to find out." Colby walks over to you, helping you stand up, "We can come back in the daytime, try something then."

"Yeah, right. Okay." Sam gets up, bending down to grab the camera after slinging his backpack on. You start to walk around the way you came, a lot slower than normal, just to be cautious if there was anyone else there.

"Right before I threw the headphones off, it was a loud, clear as day, man voice yelling death like three times in a row, like boom boom boom." Sam explains, "Ive never.. had that happen." He lays a hand on his chest, looking over at you.

He reaches out, grabbing your wrist to inspect it, "Is it still burning?" You shake your head, "No. thankfully."

"Alright. I haven't heard any-" Colby stops talking and instantly switches the light to the camera off when the sound of branches breaking sounds from the woods next to you.

"Should we call out? What if it is people?" Colby whispers leaning in to you and Sam. Sam wraps an arm around you as you huddle next to him, "We should just go."

"we're going, but like.." Colby sighs, "I think we should acknowledge that we hear it, them, you know what I mean?"

"I get what you're saying but like.." Sam pauses and there's a bang on the window, causing you all to jump and move away from the house, "we can just try to make it to the car?"

"Okay." Colby whispers, "Stay close together."

You move along the house more, your grip tightening into Sam's jacket as you see the car in view. Colby stops, "Should we just book it?"

"Yeah, but at least turn the light on." Sam says and Colby switches the light on, but it suddenly goes back out. He tries switching it on a few times, "It's not.. turning back on."

"Fuck, okay." Sam digs into his sweatshirt pocket, pulling out a flashlight. He switches it on and it stays on, "Okay. Lets go."

His arm stays around you as you guys start for the car. Sam's grip is suddenly ripped away from you when he falls to the ground with a groan.

"Sam!" You yell, turning around to go down to him, "Are you okay? What happened?"

Sam gets up as quick as he can, "I tripped or what tripped?" He shakes his head, "Let's just get-"

The door slamming shut on the front door of the farm house causes him to snap his head towards it, "Get in the car."

Colby reaches for the door handle, pulling on it a few times, "Keys. Keys. Keys."

"I thought you had them." Sam yells quietly as he pats his pockets, "Shit." You check your pockets frantically, hoping that some miracle will happen and one of you will find them.

"Backpacks. Check the backpacks." Colby drops his bag to the ground and sets the camera down before digging in his.

You and Sam do the same and you shake your head, "I checked each pocket." You sigh, "What the fuck."

"You didn't drop them in the house did you?" Sam asks as you grab the flash light. You shine it around the car and point with a slightly loud, "Ah ha. There! There."

"How did they get under-" Colby reaches under the car, pulling them out, "The fucking car?"

"We can talk about it when we get in, just unlock it." Sam says as he throws his stuff back into the backpack.

Colby unlocks it, causing the lights to flash. You all rip open the doors and get in, shutting them with a slam.

"Fuck that." Sam says.

"I honestly can't believe we stayed that long." Colby sighs, "What the fuck is that place?"

You take a few deep breathes, trying to remind yourself that you're in the car now. You're safe.

"Okay. Let's just.. Go back to the hotel and we can figure out everything there." Sam turns around to look at you, "You good? You okay?"

You nod, "Yeah. Yeah. I'm good." He nods and turns back around, buckling up as Colby starts to drive, "I just want to know if people were there. That was fucking weird."

"That whole place is fucking weird. You have to be out of your mind to go there at night." Sam pauses before laughing slightly.

You and Colby join in laughing. The feeling of relief settles in the further you drive down the gravel driveway.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I'm sorry that it's so long but if you made it to this point, I truly appreciate you so much. Thank you for reading.

I figured this was a good place to stop. When the time comes, I’m thinking of doing a part 2 where they investigate the barn during the day? What is think?

Love you so much 🖤

465 notes · View notes

sprinkler-ashes · 8 months

Text

begin again // aaron hotchner x reader

begin again

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

description: in which there are five times that aaron hotchner restores your faith in love and one time where you restore his. inspired by begin again by taylor swift.

words: 6.1k

warnings: cursing, a touch of angst, hotch in a quarter zip and casual clothes (yes this requires a warning), fluff, hurt/comfort if you squint, reader has an awful ex (gn pronouns for ex), mentions of violence and injuries

a/n: i’ve been working on this all throughout the week every night at like 3 am running on, at best, 4 hours of sleep so i’m very sorry if there are grammar/spelling errors – i will edit soon. also i fear i’ve been watching too much dharma & greg, and this was the product. enjoy!

i've been spending the last eight months

thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

but on a wednesday in a cafe

i watched it begin again

One.

It was week one of your new job at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit when you knew with absolute certainty that as soon as you arrived back at the bureau, you were going to hand in your resignation.

You were sitting away from the rest of the team who all sat together, though a little cramped, and deep into discussion about something that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. They were talking normally as if everything they just witnessed over the last few days didn’t affect them.

You knew that you were new to this – it was your first week on the job. But you felt like you should be… happier than the way you currently felt. This was your dream job: one that you’ve spent years working towards. One that you gave everything up for, including your relationship.

However, it was starting to feel like it wasn’t worth it.

The team was very lovely. From the moment the case had begun, each one of them made an effort all throughout the trip to Missouri to make sure you were keeping up and doing okay. They’d even tried to get you to come over and chat with them when the flight started, but you lied and said you were tired.

Your head was leaning against the window, your eyes peering out to see nothing but blue skies and clouds. This was everything you’d ever wanted, so why did you feel the way you did?

A voice in the back of your head told you that your ex was right; you weren’t cut out for this. You were going to fail just like they always said you were going to – this was a mistake.

You couldn’t help but be on the verge of a breakdown with all the thoughts running through your head, but there was no way you could cry due to the presence of someone moving to sit in the seat in front of you. A part of you didn’t want to look up because you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t want to look him in the eyes, but, reluctantly, you did look up only seconds later.

BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner was sitting in front of you with his usual gaze that made you feel slightly intimidated. He seemed to be good at everything he did – or at least everything you had seen him do. He was well-respected, a damn good profiler, and so put-together that it made you feel like a mess in comparison.

“Can I help you, sir?” You asked, attempting to mask the conflicted feelings in your voice.

He ignored your question. “You just finished your first case. I wanted to see how you were feeling. You and Reid really helped by figuring out the geographical profile.”

You should’ve known he would know. This was a plane full of profilers – they probably all knew.

“I’m good,” you lied with an attempted smile that never reached your eyes. “I’m glad we caught the guy; I’m just really exhausted.”

Aaron didn’t say anything as he obviously did not believe you with his eyes still watching you, presumably reading more about you in mere seconds than you even knew about yourself. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the chatter from the rest of the team filling the air.

“They’ve all been here for years,” he suddenly said. “It still affects them, but it gets easier.”

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” you told him, your voice cracking in the middle of your sentence. You shut your eyes, cutting off eye contact. You didn’t want to look at your boss after you basically just told him you can’t do your own job.

This is so embarrassing, you thought to yourself.

When you finally re-opened your eyes, Aaron was still watching you. He moved forward, crossing his arms and resting them on the table between the two of you. He was looking at you with what you almost would’ve called sympathy.

“You can do this,” he reassured you, making sure his voice couldn’t be heard by the rest of the team. “You wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. It’ll get better.”

The sheer honesty in his voice caused unshed tears to form in your eyes. No one had given you the affirmation you so desperately needed in a long time – not even your ex, who often said more unkind things than kind.

“What if it doesn’t?” You asked, blinking hard to get rid of the tears that were threatening to fall.

“It will,” he said firmly, emphasizing his words. “Go home, rest, and come back for a new day tomorrow.” With that, he stood back up, straightened out the sleeves of his suit jacket, and looked at you one last time before walking back over to where he was originally sitting. “You did very well this week.”

Aaron said everything with so much sincerity that for the first time in a while, you felt a little bit better.

—

Two.

You didn’t end up quitting.

It had been a little over a month since you almost quit your job after the first week. Things still weren’t perfect, but you had gotten more used to being a profiler and had gotten to the point where going to work didn’t feel like such a chore.

You were now in a small North Dakota town on a case. It was the second week of December, and the heat was out at the inn you were staying at, which all of you had, unfortunately, found out when arriving back from the police department.

“I probably know the answer to this, but is there any way we could go somewhere else?” JJ asked as she stood by the door. “It’s freezing, Hotch.”

“Actually, in order for it to be freezing, it would need to be–”

“Reid, not now,” Derek cut him off.

Aaron looked up from the folder he was reading. “We can’t go anywhere else. This is the only place to stay in town, and it’s the only place that was approved and booked.”

“They said they will probably have it going again in under an hour. Maintenance is working on it now,” Rossi announced as he entered the room, stepping past JJ. “They apologized for the inconvenience.”

It was eleven at night, and everyone was in clothes they were sleeping in except for Aaron who still wore his suit, minus the tie and jacket. You didn’t know how he wasn’t freezing in only his white dress shirt. The rooms at the inn were relatively tiny, but the team had all managed to cram into Aaron’s room, who got one to himself this time. They’d all flocked to his room in an attempt to figure out if staying somewhere else was possible, except for you, who had already been there.

You were sitting on the couch in the room next to Aaron as you attempted to help him figure out how this particular unsub was kidnapping his victims. The couch was particularly small, leaving no room between you and him. The entire side of your thigh was pressed against his, warmth radiating off of him despite the cold room.

Aaron sighed, laying down the folder and running a hand across his temple. “I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands. Everyone, go back to bed. Hopefully the heat will be back on soon.”

“You coming?” Emily, your roommate for the duration of time you would be in North Dakota, asked as everyone filed out of the room.

You shook your head. “I’ll be there soon. I’m going to look over this one last time and see if there’s anything I missed.”

Emily told the both of you goodnight and left the room, leaving only you and Aaron still sitting together.

He made you very nervous.

Aaron was older, extremely accomplished, more experienced in the job, and working with him alone was nerve-wracking. You’d proven yourself immensely in the short amount of time you had been a member of the BAU. Still – he was wonderful at everything. The idea of being wrong around him was terrifying.

As you continued to look through everything laid out in front of you, you couldn’t focus. It was so cold to the point where you couldn’t feel the tip of your nose anymore, and you were slightly shivering, crossing your arms in an attempt to warm up a little.

“Looks like I should’ve brought a winter coat to sleep in,” you attempted to joke.

The left corner of Aaron’s mouth tipped upward as he stood up and moved to the small closet. “It is pretty cold, isn’t it?”

Before you knew it, there was a brown blanket being draped across your shoulders.

It wasn’t very thick nor was it very comfortable. In fact, it felt a little scratchy to the touch as it brushed over your bare hands, but Aaron situated it until it was entirely wrapped around you while his body hovered over yours. You stopped breathing momentarily, your heart picking up its pace every time his hands scraped over your own arms. Even through your thick sweatshirt and the blanket, you could still feel his touch.

“Thanks,” you muttered. Your heart rate had gone back down to normal now that he was moving to sit again.

“I can’t have one of my agents going hypothermic,” he joked and gave you one of his rare smiles; the ones that were usually reserved for outside of work.

You weren’t blind – Aaron Hotchner was a gorgeous man, and you wouldn’t deny that just the scent of his very expensive cologne alone was enough to make you feel slightly dizzy.

However, that's all you thought. He was your boss, and you were dealing with a breakup that was still laying heavy on your heart and constantly consumed your thoughts.

But even after the heat started working only half an hour later, you didn’t remove the blanket and temporarily forgot about the person who broke your heart while you worked next to him.

—

Three.

It was six months into your job when you found yourself having one of the worst days ever.

You’d woken up late and to a text from a friend letting you know that the ex you’d been getting over for half a year was now social-media-official with the person they told you not to worry about, you spilled coffee all over your car and your white top resulting in you being even later for work as you had to go back to your apartment and change.

You were a stumbling mess when you finally made it to the conference room for the meeting that you were six minutes late for. All eyes were focused on you as you mumbled apologies and sat down while trying to listen to Aaron’s voice. It was some housekeeping things and maybe you should’ve listened, but your head was elsewhere.

The rest of the day did not go well either. Halfway through the day, you had managed to screw up the fax machine, trip over your own shoes, and give yourself not one but two paper cuts. All of it sounded like minor things – a paper cut shouldn’t have set you off so badly, but it really did.

By the end of the day, you wouldn’t have minded if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. Once you did one more thing, you would finally be able to go home.

“Come in.”

Aaron’s office was a place that you had grown to not fear so much. In the beginning of your job, every time you had to go in, it almost felt like you were in middle school walking into the principal’s office as he sat there at his desk with a stoic stare and hardly any emotion in his voice.

“I got your email about needing to speak with me,” you told him, coming inside and shutting the door behind you. “What did you need?”

He looked up at you as you moved closer to his desk. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

You frowned. “I thought you said in the email that you needed to speak with me about something important?”

Aaron nodded as if it was no big deal. “You’ve been acting off all day. How you feel is an important thing – even if you think it isn’t. So, are you okay?”

Your heart broke at his kindness. He was always nice to you, maybe nicer than he should’ve been, but calling you into his office just to make sure you were okay after a bad day made you wonder why no one else had ever cared about your feelings like this.

“I’m okay,” you told him. “It’s just been a terrible day.”

Still sitting at his desk with his full attention on you, Aaron asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

You wouldn't lie – you did think about his proposal for a moment. There weren't many people for you to talk to. You had friends, but not many in Quantico other than your co-workers. You’d moved alone without knowing anyone, and you worked so much that there was rarely time for you to go out and meet new people.

But Aaron was a busy man. He was probably just offering to be polite – there was no way he cared that much to hear about your miniscule problems when his job was as hectic and busy as it was.

“No, Hotch, I don’t want to keep you here any longer–”

He cut you off. “I’m already here; it doesn’t matter. You can talk to me. I’ve been rather concerned about you.”

At that moment, you couldn’t come up with an excuse as to why the idea of him thinking about you was enough to make your heart flutter.

“It’s… it’s stupid,” you started, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. “I had a bad breakup right before I moved to Quantico. My ex didn't really care when I went to the Academy, but they exploded when I told them how I finally got this job. It was constant fighting before they gave me an ultimatum: them or taking the job.”

“And you chose the job?”

You laughed, feeling a little pathetic. “No, at first, I didn’t. They really got it stuck in my head that I wasn’t good enough to do this. I was going to turn it down and stay, but I changed my mind last minute. I found out this morning they’re now with someone else. Then, I was late, I fucked up the fax machine, and I got a couple paper cuts. It’s nothing, really – it was just a bad day.”

Aaron moved around in his seat, leaning back a little and crossing his arms. “It isn’t nothing if it bothers you.”

“I didn’t know you were a therapist,” you tried to joke, squirming awkwardly in your seat. You were already feeling vulnerable and the way he was looking at you wasn’t helping.

“Only part-time,” he said. “Don’t tell anyone – someone may think I have emotions.”

His face was completely stoic when he said it, but as soon as you started to laugh, he joined in.

“Really, though, I’m okay – just exhausted. I think the universe just hates me right now.” You stood up to leave. “I want to beat the rush hour traffic, so I should head out, but thanks for checking on me.”

He nodded in acknowledgement and you were on your way out while thinking the interaction was over, when he called out your name.

You stopped, hand still grasping the door you were about to open. “Yeah?”

“It’s their loss.”

A frown appeared on your face. “What do you mean?”

“Your ex,” he explained. “You shouldn’t lose sleep over someone who doesn’t know how lovely you are.”

Lovely.

You’d been called a lot of things in your life, probably even some adjectives better than lovely, but the way it just rolled out of Aaron’s mouth as if it was a casual, every-day-like occurrence made you feel warm.

Aaron Hotchner thought you were lovely and knowing that kept a smile on your face for days after while the wounds that had been given to you by someone else slowly healed.

—

Four.

After a year of working with the BAU, you ended up with your first unsub-related injury.

You thought going to the hospital was pointless because you truly felt fine, but both Derek and JJ argued relentlessly for you to go due to the nasty gash on your head. Unfortunately, you were outnumbered and sent to the hospital for an evaluation after the unsub you were after thought it was okay to slam you on the ground a little too hard, resulting in a blow to your head when you went down and hit the concrete.

JJ rode with you to the hospital in the ambulance that you, very much, did not think was necessary. After seeing a doctor, it was determined that you had a concussion. With a thick bandage on your wound and a drive home from JJ who gave you strict rules on taking care of yourself while you healed like the mother she was, you were finally alone in the comfort of your apartment after a long day spent in Manassas – the location of the latest case.

Now that the adrenaline had worn off, you were starting to feel the symptoms and the sound of knocking on your door felt like nails being drilled into your head.

However, the person standing on the other side when you opened the door made your head spin faster than the concussion did.

Aaron was standing on the other side of the door, one hand holding a brown paper bag with a look of worry on his face. He was dressed casually in a navy blue sweatshirt and jeans, nose slightly red from where he had walked through the cold November air to get inside your apartment building.

In other words, he looked very good. It was hard to not grab and kiss him.

You’d developed somewhat of an attraction for your boss since that fateful day in his office. Not that you hadn’t been attracted to him before, but it now felt more like a serious affection and not some small crush – the first time you felt this way about anyone in a long time.

“Hi,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another upon seeing you. “How are you?” He paused after his eyes glanced at the very obvious bandage on your forehead. “Wait, I don’t think that’s an appropriate question right now. I’m sorry.”

You giggled despite the throbbing in your temple, moving to let him into your apartment. “I’m as good as I can be right now. Come on in.”

He walked into your apartment, following you into the kitchen after you shut the door and locked it. Aaron had only been to your apartment once after giving you a ride home from work, but this was the first time he’d ever been inside.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” He asked while you got a glass of water.

You nodded slightly, careful to cause any more pain. “Probably, but I can’t get any rest until my medicine kicks in and my head doesn’t feel like it’s about to bust.”

Aaron winced. “I tried to come to the hospital, but JJ had already taken you home by the time I got there, so I came here. I apologize for coming unannounced and so late, but I had to make sure you were okay.”

“You do that a lot,” you told him, leaning against one of the counters in the kitchen. “Making sure I’m okay.”

“I happen to care about you a lot.”

Hiding your smile behind the glass of water, you took a sip before focusing your attention back on the bag he brought with him. “What’s in the bag?”

It seemed as though he had forgotten he was still holding something. He raised it up and held it out to you, an almost-shy look dancing across his face that you’d never seen before on him. “I, um, made a stop at the store for you on my way over. It’s just over-the-counter medicine, extra bandages, and a couple snacks that I know you like. I figured it might help you out since you can’t drive for the next two days.”

You couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on your face. It was almost as if every time you thought Aaron couldn’t get any more perfect, he would prove you wrong.

He continued as he sat the bag down on the counter next to you. “I also wanted to tell you that Strauss said take all the time you need to recover.”

You gave him a quizzical look. “She did?”

There was only silence between the two of you as you looked at each other until he shrugged. “Well, I told her that you’re going to be taking all the time off that you need, and she didn’t really say anything so take all the time you need.”

“It’s just a concussion,” you told him. “I’ll be back to work soon.”

“A concussion is a serious thing,” Aaron said with a frown, not liking the way you brushed the injury off as nothing. “I’m glad you’re okay. Morgan said you hit the ground pretty hard before he cuffed the guy.”

You took another sip of your water before sitting it down. “I’m alive and well – Derek was just worried.”

As much as you were enjoying the feeling of talking with Aaron in your kitchen, the heaviness you felt in your eyes reminded you that it was nearly midnight, and you’d had a long day. The yawn that escaped your mouth didn’t go unnoticed.

“I should go and let you get some rest.”

You really didn’t want him to go. There weren't many other opportunities where you would get Aaron in your apartment like this. It felt oddly domestic, and you hated the fact that you loved it so much. But he was right – you did need the rest.

“Thank you again for stopping by,” you told him as the two of you walked the short distance back to the front door. “And for all the stuff you bought. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” he said, his hand lingering on the door knob. “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

He was opening the door before you called out, “Wait,” your mind flooded with déjà vu from the time he stopped you on your way out of his office.

Aaron paused and turned to look back at you. His body hadn’t left the room yet, but the door was slightly ajar where he opened it.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you walked over to him and threw your arms around his broad torso engulfed in the softest sweatshirt you’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” you softly said. “Not just for tonight, but for, well, just caring about me.”

He didn’t waste a second reciprocating the hug as he wrapped his arms around you even tighter, careful not to get near the bandage on your forehead and further hurt you. He was like a human heater – warm, tall, and you fit perfectly against him.

One hug from Aaron was like a band-aid healing any problem you had – even the external ones. Maybe this was what the placebo effect felt like and if this was it, you wanted it over and over again.

“Of course,” he muttered, arms still locked around you as if he needed this more than you did.

When you finally parted, his cheeks were dusted with a slight red shade as he wore one of his grins that you’d grown to love and receive more often. “Goodnight.”

Even though you had a raging headache and a painful cut on your temple, it had nothing on the big smile you kept on your face even as you drifted off into sleep that night still feeling warm and giddy.

—

Five.

It had been almost two months since you hugged Aaron in your apartment.

Since that night, something changed in the relationship between the two of you. You couldn’t really place your finger on what had changed, but there was a shift. Tension was thick – not in a bad way but in a way where you wanted to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him to you any time you were alone.

You also had the feeling that he felt the same way. Aaron had been a profiler for many more years than you had been, but you liked to think you were good at your job. You could read him and from the way his eyes watched you, you could tell he was feeling the same tension in the air.

It was New Year’s Eve, and David Rossi had, after a lot of pleading from Penelope, agreed to host a small get-together for the team plus family including Will, Henry, and Jack – the latter two were currently running around the, very expensive, house, which was driving Dave insane as kept watch to make sure nothing got damaged due to the kids.

You were standing outside in the backyard, the late-December air hitting your face as you glanced down at your phone that told you it was almost midnight.

When you thought back to who you were around this time last year – a woman in a new city with a demanding job and hardly any friends, still crying yourself to sleep over someone who didn’t deserve your tears – it made you want to smile.

It had been a little over a year since you started working at the BAU and as you glanced inside through the large glass doors, you felt like you belonged. There was no more doubt, no more tears, and no more days where you wanted to run away.

“What are you doing out here? You’ll freeze to death.” You turned around to find Aaron closing one of the glass doors and moving towards you.

He was wearing a black quarter zip and jeans – a casual outfit but one of your favorites. For reasons that you couldn’t understand, Aaron Hotchner in a quarter zip made you feel things.

“I came out here because it’s cold,” you told Aaron, leaning against a railing and crossing your sweater-covered arms. “It’s so hot and stuffy in there. It’s like Rossi is trying to burn us all alive.”

Aaron laughed and walked over next to you. He leaned against the railing, his arm brushing against yours. “He does keep his house pretty hot.”

“Is Jack having a good time?”

Jack Hotchner was probably your favorite kid you’d ever met. He was a total sweetheart, and you instantly got along with him from the first day you met him.

You didn’t miss the way Aaron’s face lit up a little as you mentioned his son. “Yes, I think so. He’s a big fan of celebrating the New Year because he gets to stay up late.” You then watched his face fall a bit. “He’s been missing his mom a lot lately, so coming here tonight – it’s good for him.”

You knew of Aaron’s ex-wife who had died before you joined the team, and you knew the terrible way that it happened. You’d also heard that it greatly affected Jack and Aaron, even though he hid it more than he should’ve.

“It must be hard on him, but I’m glad he’s having a good time tonight.”

Aaron smiled. “He loves the team, but I think you’re his favorite.”

You grinned. “No way! I’m honored.”

A comfortable silence grew between the two of you with no sounds other than distinct chatter and laughs from inside of the house. You glanced over to Aaron who was pulling out his phone.

“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said. “You want to head back inside and watch the ball drop?”

You almost said yes at first because you actually did want to see the ball drop, but you also wanted a moment alone with Aaron considering you rarely got them in a setting outside of work. Maybe you were being selfish, but you didn’t care – a few more minutes with him wouldn’t hurt. “I think I’m going to stay out here.”

He didn’t say anything. Aaron kept his phone out so the two of you could keep an eye on the clock app, its tiny, orange hand moving around the twelve, now signalizing that it was eleven fifty-nine.

Your eyes kept watch on the clock as it got closer to passing twelve again. You were starting to get nervous. A part of you expected Aaron to go inside after you told him you weren’t going back in – it wasn’t like he was obligated to stay out in the cold with you.

However, he never went back inside and as the clock kept getting closer to midnight, only seconds away now, you wondered if he was thinking the same thing you were: the traditional New Year’s kiss.

You discretely searched for any sign on his face that gave away if he was going to kiss you or not. You so desperately wanted it but if he wasn’t thinking the same thing, there was no way you were going to embarrass yourself by trying to kiss him.

Ten.

Still no sign – you were starting to panic a little.

Nine.

What were you supposed to do?

Eight.

Would he rather have a handshake? He did have a pretty firm grip.

Seven.

No, screw a handshake. Who gives someone a handshake at midnight on New Year’s?

Six.

He put down his phone and was starting to turn toward you.

Five.

Was he actually going to kiss you?

Four.

“Forgive me if I’m reading this wrong, but can I kiss you?”

Three.

You couldn’t form words, only a nod, eyes slightly widened.

Two.

He was moving his hand up to your cheek and, oh dear, this was actually going to happen.

One.

Aaron’s lips were warm against yours, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever been kissed with so much delicacy. He was gentle and respectful. Your hands pressed against his chest before you finally moved them up to the nape of his neck under the collar of the quarter zip you loved so much, pulling him even closer to you.

You felt secure and safe pressed up tightly against him with one hand of his cupping your jaw as the other rested firmly on your lower back. Your mouth was opening up before you could even stop it. Aaron smiled against your lips as he felt it before he deepened the kiss.

This time, he was kissing you much more firmly and with the feeling of his tongue moving against yours, you couldn’t remember the last time, or if ever, you felt the way you did. His hand pressed even harder against your back, making you inhale sharply during the kiss.

There was a time in your life when you thought you would never find someone else – that maybe you were destined to be alone all because of one person who didn’t see your worth, but Aaron made all the pain go away to the point where you hadn’t thought of the person who hurt you in months.

Aaron made you feel like you were floating all the time. He reminded you of your worth instead of breaking you down. He was a man who did both the small things like throwing a blanket around your cold body and the big things like bringing you snacks and medicine after a hit to the head – the definition of “if he wanted to, he would” in the best way possible.

“Hey! You guys missed the – holy shit!”

You flung yourself off Aaron and looked behind him to see Emily standing there, her mouth wide open. You’d never seen her utterly speechless like she was at the moment. She opened and closed her mouth for a moment, glancing back and forth between the two of you before she finally found something to say.

“Morgan and Reid owe me fifty bucks.”

—

(+) One.

It was three months into Aaron Hotchner’s relationship with you when he knew with absolute certainty that he loved you.

His job was difficult, and today was no different but instead of shaking it off before going home, he couldn’t help but feel a cloud of emotion follow him all the way back home to his apartment.

He knew that you were waiting on him because the two of you were supposed to have dinner. You’d gotten to leave at a reasonable time and not, he glanced down at his watch, at nine at night. Aaron had a lot of duties and responsibilities as Unit Chief, but he sometimes wished he didn’t in order to come home at a normal hour.

Aaron saw you sitting on his couch as soon as he unlocked and opened his front door. You smiled sweetly as you looked over at him, no trace of frustration or anger at how late he was getting home.

“Everything go okay with those reports? I know Strauss was giving you a hard time,” You said as you glanced back down at your phone you were holding. When he didn’t answer, he saw you look back up at him again but this time with a frown on your face.

He knew the look he had on his face was giving him away, but he just couldn’t force himself to not feel the way that he was feeling.

You put your phone down on the coffee table and stood up to move in front of him. “Are you okay?”

“That’s usually my line to you,” he attempted a joke, but it never reached his eyes.

You responded with a half-smile. “Bad evening?”

Aaron nodded, not saying anything further. You moved closer as you wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, honey,” he said, instantly feeling a little better just from your touch. “I missed dinner. I’m not the one who should be upset.”

You pulled back and rested both hands on each side of his face as he kept his situated on your waist. “Someone told me once that how you feel is an important thing even if you think it isn’t.”

He chuckled a bit. “Using my own words against me, huh?”

You cracked a smile. “It’s okay that you missed dinner. I know you had a rough and busy evening. Don’t worry about me. We can have dinner another night – it’s not a big deal that you couldn’t make it.”

You were looking at him so sincerely and touching him with so much care that he couldn’t help but pull you back in again, eyes closing at the feeling of another hug from you.

“Let’s go to bed,” you mumbled to him. “You look like you could go for an early night.”

Aaron wasn’t sure what he did to deserve someone as good as you – someone who cared for him even on days when he didn’t care for himself. You were kind, understanding, and patient. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe he was lucky enough to be with someone like you.

So while he wasn’t sure of how deserving he really was, he was one hundred percent sure of the fact that he loved you and your lovely self.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner one shot #hotch x y/n #aaron hotchner

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titleknown · 1 year

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So, while we're all trying to fight one of the other terrible "think of the children" bills trying to ram its way through Congress, KOSA, we should also be talking about The EARN IT Act.

Long story short, it's basically yet another surveilance bill using a "protect the children" bill, as a hideous meat-suit, putting restrictions on sites that'll make them even more vicious towards NSFW content, creating a climate where using a VPN might be a crime, and they'll be creating a federal committee to decide how best to spy on us!

Long story long, well, the Linktree is right here.

Beyond the stuff in the Linktree, I urge you to directly contact your congresspeoples and tell them to kill this bill, especially if they're on the Judiciary Committee, which is currently marking up this bill.

The members of the committee are:

Dick Durbin, Illinois, Chairman

Dianne Feinstein, California

Sheldon Whitehouse, Rhode Island

Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota

Chris Coons, Delaware

Richard Blumenthal, Connecticut

Mazie Hirono, Hawaii

Cory Booker, New Jersey

Alex Padilla, California

Jon Ossoff, Georgia

Peter Welch, Vermont

Lindsey Graham, South Carolina, Ranking Member (Ugh)

Chuck Grassley, Iowa

John Cornyn, Texas

Mike Lee, Utah

Ted Cruz, Texas (Double-ugh)

Josh Hawley, Missouri

Tom Cotton, Arkansas

John Kennedy, Louisiana

Thom Tillis, North Carolina

Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee (she cosponsored the bill, so probably not)

So yeah, do what you can, even if it's just boosting this terrible, terrible danger we need to thwart.

And, I will add, as with my previous KOSA poster, this poster is officially, for the sake of spreading it, under a CC0 license.

Feel free to spread it, remix it, add links to the bottom, edit it to be about the other bad internet bills they’re pushing, use it as a meme format, do what you will but for gods’ sake get the word out!

...And yes, for the record I was thinking of the Judas Priest song when I came up with the tagline for this one.

#internet freedom #earn it act #politics #internet #american politics #censorship #spying #signal boost

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precisely-evisceratedxx · 8 days

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Headless, sleeping soundly

Love Lost but Not Forgotten was an emoviolence/ screamo band from St. Peters, Missouri, and were active from the years 1997 - 2002.

Formed of a mix of ex-members of other screamo bands, Love Lost but Not Forgotten’s music is characterized by a chaotic mix of sheer emotion and violence expressed in their songs, as well as their unique shrieky vocals (which later went on to inspire bands like The Number Twelve Looks Like You).

Since their breakup in 2002, they have performed 3 reunion shows in 2005, 2008, and 2010.

This band is probably my favorite screamo band of all time, please check them out if you haven’t already (s/t is fucking amazing).

#screamo #skramz #mathcore #punk #emoviolence #love lost but not forgotten #grindcore #Spotify

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supernaturalfreewill · 6 months

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An insistent vibration reverberated through the bed and pulled you from the hazy sleep you were in. It took several long seconds for you to remember where you were and be clearheaded enough to reach for your phone. You didn't glance at the name on the screen. You should have.

"Hello?" you answered, pressing it to your ear with your non-dominant hand. The other was restricted by the sling that had your arm velcro-ed to your chest.

"...Y/N?" Sam's voice on the other end, already sounding concerned. "What's going on? You don't sound like yourself. Are you alright?"

You perked up immediately. Shit. "I'm fine. What's up, Sam?" you said, trying your hardest to sound bright and energetic.

There was another long pause. "What's going on?" he asked again, worried.

You sighed. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"That wasn't very convincing," he said gently. "What's that sound in the background? Where are you?"

Shit. The goddamn beeping and whirring of your shared hospital room clearly registered in the phone. Too late now. Sam wouldn't give up on this. If you didn't come clean, he'd probably find a way to track your location and show up anyway... "Promise me you won't overreact."

Sam sighed heavily into the phone. "That's not a good start. Tell me you're okay."

"Well... mostly."

"Where are you?"

"In the hospital... but don't freak out! It's—it's nothing really! I have a broken collarbone and fractured ribs and my face is a little bruised up, but I'm completely fine. I'm just waiting for them to discharge me." You could already tell Sam was moving around and you could picture him clearly in your mind, throwing clothes and gear into his bag.

"Which hospital? Dean and I are coming."

"Sam—"

"Don't even try and argue. We're going to be on our way in 5 minutes. You can tell me where you are or we can find out the hard way."

You sighed. "Joplin, Missouri."

"This was a hunt? What kind?"

"It was just a car accident, Sam. I'm okay."

"Alright... Joplin. We'll be there in 3 hours, okay?"

"You don't need to—"

"I know. But we want to be there for you. We always want to make sure that you're okay. And you'll be laid up a while. You can come stay with me and Dean and we'll make sure you take it easy and help you heal up. You shouldn't be dealing with this alone."

You couldn't help smiling a little. "Thanks, Sam."

"Of course. Get some rest, okay? We'll see you soon."

Prompt: "Promise me you won't overreact."

#sam winchester imagines #sam winchester drabbles #supernatural #spn imagines #sammy x reader #sam x y/n #sam x you #the winchesters

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rickgrimeswifey · 1 year

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Overheard gossip pt.2 - Spencer Reid

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Category: Smut with plot

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Season: 3 ish

Warnings: Unprotected p in v sex, cursing, tension all over the place, sub!virgin!Spencer

Word count: 2.6k

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The same night as the incident the team flew back to the headquarters. Y/n knew they’d arrive late so when her shift was over she hurried home. She couldn’t face Spencer, she didn’t dare too. She knew he’d never confront her or tell anyone else what she said because he was too shy and embarrassed about it. But that didn’t change the fact that Y/n was dying from the embarrassment she was feeling.

The week after that day went by fast. Y/n succeeded in avoiding Spencer at work, every time she saw him she’d simply take a different direction in where she was going. Sure, she might’ve been late to some meetings because of it but that was a price she could pay.

It all went well until there was another case about a week and a half later after the incident. Hotch wanted Y/n to come along for this one as she was feeling better now. They were all called to their meeting room where JJ was going to present the case for them. Y/n walked in and took a seat being the first one to arrive along with JJ. Spencer wasn’t anywhere to be seen meaning he was late. The rest of the team took their seats and left the one in front of Y/n empty. If something that's karma for avoiding him.

“Sorry I’m late!” Spencer's stressed and soft voice was heard as he entered the room.

“It’s fine. Just don’t let it happen again.” Hotch warned, not looking up from the file he was reading.

He took the seat in front of Y/n and sat down. Swallowing thickly when they made eye contact, he was nervous. Of course he was, Y/n didn’t think of just how innocent he was. She had ruined this man with her simple words. When she saw Spencer blush she couldn’t help but to blush herself, she knew this meant that they’d have to talk about it sometime. Once JJ was done presenting the case and the team was about to board the jet, Y/n hurried out of the room to grab her bag that was packed and ready to go.

The ride over to Springfield, Missouri was fine. The team went over the information they already had and yet sat in her seat against the wall with Derek beside her. His body shielding off the view of Reid. Before they landed Hotch spoke up;

“So we’re probably going to stay over here a night or two as you all know, catching a serial killer like this isn’t easy with the little information we’ve got to go off. I’ve already made roommates for the hotel rooms. Morgan you’re with Prentiss. JJ you’re on your own. I’m with Rossi and L/n you’re with Reid.”

Y/n’s eyes widened, what did he just say? Now all she could do was pray they solved this case today so that she didn’t need to be alone in a room with Spencer. Y/n couldn’t switch rooms either because Hotch wouldn’t allow it and it would be mean to Spencer. She thought about this room situation until the jet landed becoming more and more anxious about it.

The day went by fast at the police station they set up their clues and got to work at. They had found out some minor stuff but not a name or anything that could tell a location. They’d run down a deadend and it was time to wrap up for today.

Once the team got to the hotel they all split separate ways to go to their rooms. Y/n and Spencer got into an elevator that no one else seemed to be coming into. She cursed to herself mentally, why did the universe want to punish her this much? The ride up to their floor was awkward, she could feel Spencer's breath on her since the elevator was insanely small, only making her stress more and more. They got out of the elevator and went to their room, both of them equally stressed about this situation. Both of them had their key card in their hand more than ready to get into the room and go to bed. Once they reached the door both of the two reached out their hands at the same time to look up the door, only making their hands collide. With her hand over his she began blushing even more. Being the first one to remove her hand after some time before she apologized quickly;

“Sorry…”

They entered the room and Y/n thanked god for the separate single beds. Y/n opened her bag to reach for her stuff for the bathroom.

“Is it okay with you if I use the bathroom first?” She asked, turning to look at him.

All she saw when she turned around was Spencer sitting awkwardly on his bed with his cheeks flushed pink. She had broken this man, he would never be able to speak properly to her ever again. That theory was confirmed when he nodded before turning his attention away quickly to something else.

Y/n took a quick shower, brushed her teeth and then changed before going out into the room again. Spencer was sitting on his bed reading some book she’d probably never heard of before.

“Bathroom’s free” Y/n informed quickly before she went back to her bag so that she could put away her stuff once again.

She heard Spencer walk away to the bathroom and close the door softly behind him, gosh she had really screwed this one up for herself. After a couple of minutes Spencer came out of the bathroom, she noticed he’d change into what she assumed he’d be sleeping in. Y/n got under the covers and texted Penelope about the situation before turning off her phone and getting to bed. She didn’t pay much mind to Spencer as she turned off her bedside table light and snuggled up in the plush hotel bed.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” She heard Spencer ask.

“What?” Y/n mumbled, too tired to turn around and turn her light on again.

“That we have found next to zero clues on this unsub, it’s almost like this person has been planning the murders they’re committing their entire life…” he explained.

“There’s a theory… Maybe it’s true, but there wasn't anything we could find since the unsubs childhood. I have no clue how they’d be able to hide that too.”

“Maybe we’re missing something…” Spencer speculated, wondering what it was they’d missed.

“I don’t know Spencer. Just turn off your light and go to bed.” Y/n debated with him.

Not a protest was heard coming from his side before Y/n heard the click of the lamp. Next morning Spencer had already occupied the bathroom before his colleague had the chance to wake up. All she could think about was their chat from last night, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Y/n sat up in the bed and slid the covers off her body. She stretched before standing up and collecting the clothes she was going to wear today. Spencer came out of the shower with his hair semi-wet. The way it laid on his head and over his face made him look like a wet dog. He clearly hadn’t touched it since he got out of the shower. Without thinking Y/n placed her clothes on the bed and walked up to him.

“Let me help you…” she mumbled, face to face with Spencer while reaching up to his hair.

Spencer stood still as Y/n began running her fingers through his towel dried hair, she separated it and placed it into the way it usually lays on him. When she was done she looked into his eyes and smiled.

“Much better.”

Spencer nodded at her shyly before Y/n went into the bathroom with her clothes in her arms. The day at work went by fast, the team found out some stuff about the killer that could help them catch him. The killer was an organized, very smart, narcissist individual. They had gotten a name but it was a dead-end which meant that they’d have to stay over another night. Once they got back to the hotel room Y/n threw herself down onto her bed, frustrated that they couldn’t catch this guy. Spencer just kinda stood awkwardly in front of her, watching as she groaned loudly out of frustration. With her head laid against the pillow she looked at Spencer, wanting his opinion she asked;

“Do you think we’ll catch him? Or is he too smart for us?”

He raised an eyebrow at Y/n, not liking her statement. She saw and caught on to what he meant.

“I’m sorry, you’re obviously smarter than him... I just meant that he just planned all of this so well that we can’t find anything. It’s so annoying.” She sighed heavily.

“You need to think about something else to get your mind off this, you’re driving yourself crazy Y/n.” Spencer explained, now starting to not be able to stand still.

She watched him move his body back and forth. Swaying up and down with his feet. He was obviously also thinking of something that bothered him, you could tell by his body language that he was nervous.

“What’s on your mind?” Y/n rolled onto her side and looked at him quizzically.

Spencer looked straight into her eyes, now being completely still as she’d caught him. He vaguely shook his head meaning that it’s nothing.

“Don’t do that. Tell me, come sit here.” She told him, patting on the bed in front of her legs.

He hesitated before slowly making his way over to her. Spencer sat down in front of her knees, looking over at her nervously.

“What’s going on Spencer?”

“Did you … said … Garcia…” he mumbled inaudible.

“What? I can’t hear you.” She said, wanting him to speak up.

He blushed at her words and Y/n felt bad for him. He is so innocent, she thought to herself.

“What you said to Garcia…” He said loud enough for her to hear. Spencer noticed that she did by the look of embarrassment on her face. “Did… did you mean it?”

Y/n looked at him bashfully. Since she didn’t know what he wanted her to say, she decided to just tell him the truth.

“Yes, I did.”

Spencer swallowed thickly and looked around the room, Y/n wanted nothing else but to ease his nervousness.

“What is making you so nervous?” She asked, she didn’t mean to but it kind of just slipped out.

He put his hand on his lap, sitting as tense as ever in front of her. “Uh- That subject… I don’t know. I- I just… I don’t know…” Spencer stammered.

“You’re inexperienced are you?” Y/n asked, finally getting the hang of his nervousness.

Spencer looked her way and nodded slowly. Of course she’d heard Derek tease Spencer but she didn’t think too much into it.

“Do you want me to make you less nervous?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him while smirking.

He turned to her and asked;

“What do you mean?”

Y/n sat up and leaned in so that her lips were just hovering over his.

“You want me to show you that this is nothing to be nervous about?” She took his hand up to his cheek and caressed it with the softest touch possible.

The only thing heard from Spencer was a little whimper.

“Tell me Spencer…” she whispered, sliding her hand from his cheek to his neck.

“Yes, I really do Y/n.”

And with that she closed the gap in between them and kissed him softly. Spencer was the first one to deepen the kiss. Y/n guided his hand to her waist where it rested while she kissed him a little harder. After a minute Spencer was the first one to pull away, he needed air. Y/n looked at him, his lips were red and swollen. She lowered him onto the bed so that he was laying on it before she swung her leg over his body and sat on his hips. She leant down and pecked him on the lips before she whispered in his ear;

“Is this okay?”

Spencer whimpered as she moved down to kiss his neck before he managed to get out a small “yes”. Y/n began grinding on his growing bulge which made both of their breathing heavier.

“Are you sure you want this?” She asked caressing his chest while sitting on him.

He groaned beneath her as she began grinding a little faster. “Yes, I’m sure.” He whined.

Y/n leaned down and kissed his swollen lips once again. This time the kiss was more heated and sloppier as she continued grinding harshly against his hard dick. Spencer tried to keep the little moan he was going to let out in by biting on his lower lip, but Y/n stopped him immediately.

“I wanna hear you, don’t do that.”

She continued kissing his lips, jaw and neck while she unbuckled his belt. Y/n easily slid the belt off and then she removed her dress shirt. She continued undressing both her and Spencer until they were completely naked. He gawked at her tits as she hovered over his dick.

“This might feel a little weird at first. Okay Spencer?”

He nodded and soon let out a moan as she slid down his length. Which she by the way was right about. His dick was big, nothing you’d expect on his tall skinny body. Y/n groaned as she began slowly bouncing up and down on Spencer's dick. The guy beneath her was a whimpering and moaning mess. His hands began roaming her body as he was unable to lay still from the intense feeling. Y/n had her hands on his chest for steadiness as his hands found her boobs. She gasped when Spencer’s hand flicked over her nipple.

“Shit, do that again.” She breathed out while speeding up her pace on his dick.

Spencer was coming close, his ability to speak was long gone. He had his hands on her breasts and he kind of just massaged them as Y/n continued bouncing up and down, now far more aggressive than before. He was just coming closer and closer even though they had barely even started. Y/n realized that virgins didn’t last long, she saw in Spencer's eyes that he had no idea what was happening.

“Don’t worry- oh fuck… it’s supposed to feel that way…” she moaned out feeling his dick hitting the right spot on and on again.

Y/n sped up the pace, chasing her own release. Spencer squeezed her tits harshly as his cum shot up into her. She moaned loudly, feeling the warmth in her stomach. Spencer’s hands slid down from her boobs to her legs where they rested as he was exhausted. She knew she couldn’t keep fucking him for too long because he’d be overstimulated. Therefore Y/n’s fingers desperately found her clit and began rubbing harsh circles on it. Moaning even louder now until finally after a couple of minutes her thrusts against Spencer became sloppier before she finally came. Her moans were so loud that SPencer actually became concerned for her, it sounded like she almost was in pain. But when he saw her face he knew she was feeling what he had just felt. She collapsed beside him once he softened and slipped out of her.

“How was it?” She asked out of breath.

Spencer looked her way and met her eyes. “It was really good…” he admitted quietly, as if he was still nervous.

Maybe she’d have to show him again that there wasn’t anything to be nervous about…

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Tag list: (click here to be apart of it!)

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#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x you #spencer x y/n #spencer x fem!reader #sub!spencer reid

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artbyjessicajewett · 8 months

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Hi everyone! I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Jessica and I was a previous user of Tumblr before it was bought. I decided to come back.

Today I'm not so much a fandom person (my first account was a Supernatural and Destiel vibe) as I am living my "real" life as an artist, author, historian, and disability rights activist. I'll be 42 in February and I live on the border of Ohio and West Virginia - like, literally on the border. I can almost throw a rock and hit West Virginia from my apartment building. Living here after spending over twenty years in Georgia has been a fresh change. Georgia is not a great place for people with complex disabilities like mine. I get much better medical care and access to state services here in Ohio, which is why I came here. My ancestry is Appalachian anyway, so this does feel like home in a strange way.

My art is what I do the most. This is me doing a commission order a few years ago.

You're immediately wondering about my disability and why I do everything with the tools in my mouth. I was born with a condition called Arthrogryposis and that just simply means my joints have very little range of motion. Much of my body is stiff. So I taught myself to play with my toys, markers, etc., with my mouth rather than my hands before I could even read or go to school. It was natural for me. I live a happy life and I'm not upset about being born with this disability. You don't have to feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for me.

At this stage in my life, I'm working on art commission number 91 with about 50 more on my wait list. My work specializes in black and white pencil portraits, mostly of different historical periods. Most of the art people order from me has to do with my ability to interpret their previous lifetimes (yes, reincarnation) as well as introducing them to their spirit guides. I do regular art with no spiritual complex as well, like family portraits, friends portraits, pet portraits, architecture, fan art, original characters, some fantasy, witchcraft, folk magic, paranormal, historical events, etc. I'm heavily trained in realistic very detailed portraits, so if you're looking for anime or cute illustrations, I'm probably not your woman.

This is the last commission I finished.

This is an interpretation of that customer's spirit guide as they appeared before they died. This is "my style" of art, as they say. I like to do color art too but I finish black and white orders much faster.

Besides art, I'm a lifelong student of 19th century history in America focusing on women's roles, families, social issues, disability history, and LGBTQIA+ history. I was in school to specifically become an antebellum and Civil War historian before chronic illnesses forced me to drop out. Higher education 20+ years ago was a casserole of nonsense when it came to helping disabled students succeed. Don't get me started.

I'm also a lifelong paranormal researcher focusing mostly on hauntings tied to antebellum and Civil War America including old folklore. My mother and grandmother were Missouri folk magic practitioners. I was raised in an understanding of the unseen world. I also collect reincarnation cases from the Civil War period sparked by my own case from that time. I'll talk about that elsewhere if you want.

Follow me here if you like. I'm just getting started. I have to relearn how to use this app.

-Jessica

Shop: etsy.com/shop/ArtByJessicaJewett

If you're not interested in art, I also accept tips if you enjoy my content. I'm at $ArtByJessicaJewett on CashApp, at Jessica-Jones-1002 on Venmo, and PayPal.me/ArtByJessicaJewett on PayPal.

#art #writing #history #commission #portraits #disabled #artbyjessicajewett

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ebaybears · 1 year

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Rainbow Furby Deepdive

Now that I've decided my website is a sea slug fansite (long story) I don't have anywhere to put my rainbow furby research. I considered putting it in a youtube video, but decided to post it to tumblr instead.

Anyway, here it is! The forbidden furby lore.

On the 14th of June 2016 supersonicmario0770 made a post on the adoptafurby forums. The thread was titled "Rainbow Furby?" and included a link to an archived ebay listing.

"I have never seen one of these before or where it came from. I can't find it when I look it up, no sign of it anywhere online but this ebay listing. It's pink with rainbow ears, hair, and chest."

At first most forum members thought it was a customized furby with dyed fur, although some thought it could be an unknown prototype. While the ebay listing is unarchived, we know roughly what it said.

On the 15th aibo7m3 posted this:

"I would err on the side of caution and and say that it's probably a custom too, but the seller's story is that this furby was an employee gift given to some of the members at tiger electronics (including her husband)."

Two weeks later on July 6th furbyandchips made a forum post, providing pictures of their own rainbow furby.

"My friend bought me the other rainbow furby the seller on ebay was selling. Identical to this one. I do not believe it to be fake or custom made. I have inspected it closely and the bottom of the box was open, so the inside cardboard can be removed, but the furby is still attached to the cardboard and didn't look tampered with. All tags are present and in mint condition. Everything is as it should be and looks like it was made in a factory and not customized by someone. The seller told my friend the same story which I believe to be true going by the fact the other furby she bought with it was only furby number 4 of that release, which makes me think it could of been someone who worked for tiger to have such a early one. This furby is in a regular box but if you look at some of the other special editions they too were in regular boxes."

Three years later, on the 19th of January 2019 furbyandchips provided an update on their website heyfurby.com.

"Hello Furby Fans! To start off our new blog, I thought I would write about a very interesting Furby in our collection. I do not know her Furby name as I have never switched her on, she is still attached to the cardboard base from the factory. We decided to name her May May, which means Love ;-)

A good friend found May May on Ebay America and I have never seen another furby like her. A while ago I posted about May May on a furby forum to try and find out some information about her, but no one there had ever seen or heard of this furby. I'm not sure which generation she is, if she is a prototype, limited edition or something very special. She has all tags present and looks to be an Official Furby Release.

Looking at the photo you will see she has rainbow eyelashes and a purple face plate, unlike any other furby. She also has rainbow pattern ears, mane and belly.

Her colours are amazing and I wonder if there are any more around like her. We will always treasure May May and hope to eventually find out more information about her. Stay tuned!"

furbyandchips quickly provided an update on the 21st. In this post, furbyandchips described searching the wayback machine for furby.com articles, finding what they were looking for on a page titled 'news updates'.

From the 9th of November 1999 until the 1st of August 2000 a competition to design a furby took place on the back of Post brand cereals. Children 17 and under were asked to color in their own furby design, and send their entry in the mail by the 1st of August 2000. Twelve designs at random would then be selected and posted on furby.com where a winner could be voted by the public.

The winner was Brittany from Missouri, who won a trip to the furby design studio in Illinois, as well as recieving their own furby. However, furbyandchips was still left with some unanswered questions.

"So it turns out that this is in fact an official Furby-Tiger Release! (some doubted this on AdoptaFurby Forum). I wonder if 'Brittany from Missouri' still has her Rainbow Furby? Also were any of the other 12 entries created?

As far as I know, there are only two Rainbow Furby's in existence. The one that I own, and the other one the original seller (maybe) still has? After some more detective work, I found out the other rainbow Furby had a highest bid of $525.00 before the seller chose to end the auction early! I can only guess they had a change of heart and wanted to keep it."

Eight months later, on the 11th of august 2019 an update was posted on the private facebook group Furby Collectors.

"Hi guys! I'm brand new to this group, and while I'm not a “collector” per-se, i am very proud of this furry rainbow dude right here. He's one of three in existence, made in 2000 when i was just 10 years old. i just so happened to be the lucky winner of a coloring “design your own Furby” contest hosted by Post cereals back in the day. i was flown to Rhode Island with my family and allowed to tour the Hasbro factory, meeting the artists, getting sneak peaks into prototype toys to come, and got to meet the CEO himself! He presented to me, in a formal greeting ceremony, with three of the Furbies I'd designed as a little girl. One to play with (kept outside of the box), one to keep sealed, and one they put into their archives. i felt ike a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Truly a dream come true for a kid. Sadly, when i was 16 years old, 13 years ago now, my boxed Furby was stolen from me and sold by my late older brother who had been battling an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking addiction. I've come to terms with it over the years, but have always wondered what happened to the rainbow siblings of this furry cutie. I'd seen images posted online of an Ebay listing with one of the sibling Furbies before but have not discovered much more about their fates. thought I'd reach out here and give a bit of backdrop to this weird story in hopes i may learn something! Here I've included a goofy photo of my multicolored friend from recently and a clipping of the arcticle written from when i was an excited 10 year old girl!"

This still leaves some questions. If the other furby furbyandchips's friend bought was number four, then why would the facebook poster believe there to be only three in existance, why would furbyandchip's believe only two to exist, and why would the original ebay seller say their husband recieved two as an employee gift?

We can most likely rule out the brother making both ebay listings, since he only had access to one furby. Could there be more rainbow furbies that we don't know of?

If you have any more information on this furby, please get in touch! I tracked down the news article the original creator was mentioned in, but I needed a newspaper.com subscription to view it so I wasn't able to get further information from that. I also wasn't able to check the facebook group for further updates as I don't use facebook. If anyone has pictures of the back of the rainbow furby and can share them, that would be appreciated!

Here's some more images:

#furby #rainbow furby #furblr #furby community #furby love #bear speaks

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obsolescent · 8 months

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Leon S. Kennedy Headcanons

Author’s Note: As you know, I write Leon in a certain way. Here’s headcanons that I have for him...I think about him a bit too much, I fear. My desire for Leon to be a country boy is the product of living in the south and also some projecting, lol. Some of these delve pretty deep and some of these are niche. If you want to share any headcanons that you have, please do. I love creating lore for characters that we know little about! Thank you to @roseglazedlens for reading over most of these for me! I’ll also be doing a NSFW version as well, the alphabet prompt.

Content warnings: Mature rating, no gendered language used for reader, nothing sexual but general discussion of Leon and his life so that involves alcohol, depression, suicidal thoughts, trauma.

NSFW Alphabet

Leon is more or less introverted from how he behaves in the games and movies, I was thinking probably INFJ-T for his personality type.

He’s bisexual. He likes whoever he can be comfortable and feel safe around, though with his hinted attractions, he prefers dark haired people.

There’s been speculation that Raccoon City is based around Springfield, Missouri, based on a few factors, so I tried to think of where he could be from. I was choosing based on my desire to have him connected to the south in some way while also not being too far from Springfield. We don’t know how far he traveled or how long it took him to get there during the events of RE2, unfortunately.

I thought of specifically around where Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, and Tennessee meet. It would also be a convenient area for his family’s mentioned crime involvement.

Also why he doesn’t have much of an accent due to being near four different states. He is of Italian descent which is one of the canon things we know. KY, MO, and TN have a higher percentage of Italian Americans in the south from what I’ve researched.

If I had to choose a specific city, it would be Paducah, Kentucky. Definitely more of a small town kind of guy. It’s also around 5 hours from Springfield.

I don’t believe he went into the foster care system, though it’s not stated. But I like to think the police officer who saved him adopted him.

Also I feel like he’s autistic in some way, generally based on how he acts and carries himself in the games. (He’s just like me fr)

His favorite brand of cars is Jeep.

He’s definitely the type of Jeep owner to wave at every Jeep he passes by while driving.

We know he likes Ducati too, he drives a XDiavel in Vendetta and DI.

He can do minor repairs, on both cars and motorcycles. A bit of a mechanic in his spare time when he’s home from missions, helping some of the others when they have car troubles.

His love language is definitely acts of service.

Even platonically, if he overhears a friend having a bad day, he’ll stop and ask if they need help with their work, or get them their favorite snack.

Romantically, he’ll bring you flowers, drive by your pharmacy to check if you have anything that needs to be picked up, tidies up the house, cooks for you, prepares you lunch for work, gives you massages if you’ve had a tough day.

He’s not the best at cooking, but learns quickly, so if you give him tips on how to improve, he’ll apply them to the next time he makes something.

Pretty sure blue is his favorite color, we see him wearing it a lot.

There’s speculation on what he smells like, I think even some perfumes made for him? But personally, I don’t think he would wear typical masculine scents, something more alone the lines of citrus/clean/fresh. One I think he would wear is Nautica Blue by Nautica. It smells so good.

He has some religious background. With how Leon behaves/carries himself, it leads me to believe his family were a part of the Church of Christ, which would correlate with the location I chose.

Leon, to this day, follows the church’s principles: “In essentials, unity; in opinions, liberty; in all things, love.” It’s something he repeats often in his head.

He sings, having taken it up at church. After the incident with his family, he continued, as it reminded him of attending, and of his mother, how she would sing him to sleep. He likes to pop into random churches during times of service.

Not straying too far in, just near the exit to join in with singing and reminisce on his own memories.

With singing, he's a baritone.

His favorite song is We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks.

He’s all over with his music taste, from alternative to country, divorced dad rock, pop, to gospel hymns. If it has a catchy tune, he’ll like it, not too picky with music.

To get into the sad bits, we know he liked to drink to cope, a functional alcoholic.

He would have trouble sleeping through the night, drinking helped.

Sees a therapist and isn’t the most truthful during meetings. Afraid to open up about everything that’s happened to him.

In RE6, you can see a document where Leon confesses he’s thought about suicide, as far back as RE2, so he’s struggled with depression.

Doesn’t do well with large crowds or gatherings. Stays on the outskirts of any event unless he has to go deeper into the throng for the sake of a mission.

Firm believer of his corny one liners:

*Gets bill* “What’s the damage?”

“You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

*Starts raining* “We needed this.”

Also looks out the window/stands on the porch when there’s a storm coming.

He keeps a memory box. It holds items he’s kept from each of his missions. It’s small things, like a key, a piece of paper, photos, a keychain. He looks in it every once in a while, so he doesn’t forget about what he’s done, who he’s helped, and those who didn’t make it.

Not the best with technology, basic knowledge of what he needs to do and how to get to things, but doesn’t use it much outside of work.

He has to ask you for help sometimes, thankful you’re more knowledgeable on the topic.

Will always tell you goodbye when he leaves for missions, no matter what method he has to use.

Face-to-face, video chat, or even going to your work. He just wants to see you one more time before departing, in case it could be the last time. Though it’s unsaid between you two, it’s in the air, tinging it with sadness and trepidation.

When he comes back, though, he immediately notifies you and wants to see you as soon as possible. He holds you a little tighter than he usually does for the first few days after returning from a mission.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon headcanons #leon kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy hc #leon kennedy imagine

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m-writes-stories · 7 months

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The Kansas City Couple Pt 2

TAKES PLACE DURING TRAINING CAMP AND PRESEASON GAMES (JUNE-AUGUST 2023)

Word Count: 1117

Warnings: Car accident

Interviewer: We are back. It is training camp time. And we are only here with Y/N. Why isn’t Travis here?

Y/N: So during training camp, Travis stays on the Missouri Western State campus. So I only see him at practice. So I saw him yesterday morning but he stayed there. So I’ll see him again tomorrow morning at practice again.

Interviewer: So why do they stay on campus when they could just come back?

Y/N: So the 9:30-12 practice that community members can see isn’t the full practice. So they actually come back at 1 and practice for another 2 and a half hours. So it is easier for the players to just stay in the dorms on campus than it is to drive all the way home. They also normally do team bonding skills after practice. I know that this year there are 8 PS4s and like 6 X-Boxs. So they are most likely doing a huge madden tournament. Honestly it is good for them to have that time together as a team. I know a couple of years ago there was a lot of separation between the rookies and the vets as training camp. And now they stay at campus. It is really funny cause Pat (Patrick Mahomes) called me the other day and we were talking and he goes “you know that Trav leaves early every night from our Madden tournament to call you right?” and I was confused. He said “every night when he calls you, we are most likely playing Madden, and he just gets up and leaves. He normally comes back 30 minutes to an hour later.” Which is funny cause he is calling me right now, (Answers the phone). Hi Trav! “Hey baby, what are you doing?” I am filming the documentary. Can I call you back after like an hour? “Yeah that's fine I love you!” I love you too. That is normally not how our conversations go. But we need to film so he can wait. He probably wasn’t doing anything important anyway.

Interviewer: Is it hard not having Travis here?

Y/N: It definitely was in the beginning. But it is mostly normal now. I’m sorta used to it. I have been doing this for so long. You know literally since day 1. So since then it has been getting easier. I don’t know if it is 100% easy, but I am pretty much used to him not being here for basically 3 months straight. We call and text and facetime so often it is kind of like he is here. There are evenings when he isn’t playing Madden and I am just walking around the house with him on Facetime. And it is literally like he is at the house.

Interviewer: What do you think about the Podcast?

Y/N: The New Heights podcast. Um, it's fun. I think Travis has so much fun with it. I love that he gets to talk to Jason (Travis’s brother). They are both so busy during the season and this is something that they can do to stay close. Even in past years with having Tuesdays off, there wasn’t a lot of time for them to sit down and talk. And so now with the podcast they have a set time to not be bothered. Which actually rarely happens, they get interrupted a lot, between me and the girls. Something is interrupting them.

Interviewer: So we talked about this during the off season, that you and Travis were off and on throughout high school. And you mentioned that you were in a car accident your senior year. Can we talk about that?

Y/N: yeah for sure. We can talk about that. So yes I was in a car accident my senior year. In January of that year I was driving home from wrestling practice and I hit a very slick patch of the road and slid into the ditch. But the ditch happened to ot be super deep so I actually just rolled over the ditch and rolled my car like 6 times. This is funny but not at the same time. It was actually Travis that found me. So this was back before we had cell phones. But we lived pretty close to each other, and the plan was that after practice I was to go to his house for a family dinner type thing. Well it had gotten way past the time that I should have been at his house. So he told his parents that he was going to drive the normal route to school, which is the same for both of us, and he found my car.

Interviewer: So you said in the previous interview that the accident kind of put a barrier between you and Travis. May we ask why?

Y/N: So being a wrestler and a softball player, I was determined after the accident to get back to 100% health. And I kind of pushed myself harder than I should have and it took me a while to realize that. But during the first like 3 weeks after the accident, there were times that I felt Travis being too protective. He was really just trying to get me to rest and take it easy. And all I wanted to do was to get back to being 100%. So I decided around the beginning of February that it would be best if Travis and I took a break. So we did and in April when I was finally feeling like myself again we ended up getting back together. And we have been together since.

Interviewer: So with that being said we know you wrestled at the college level. Was there ever a time when you felt Travis cared more about football than you or your wrestling?

Y/N: We definitely had arguments about that throughout college. But it was never that I felt he didn’t care about me or my wrestling career. It was more that we had two completely different focuses for a good chunk of the school year that we had a hard time spending time together. There were fights where we said that our individual sport was more important. But at the end of the day we knew that wasn’t true and that the other person came first.

Interviewer: I know fans would love to have multiple episodes with just you but we are going to hopefully get Travis back in for an interview. Hopefully after the first preseason game. We would love to talk about how he is feeling. But we will have to make time to get him to sit down and talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I also want to say that my requests are open for Travis only right now. So go send in all your Travis Kelce one shot ideas,

Love you all, M

#m-writes-stories #travis kelce fanfic #travis kelce x reader #travis kelce

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naughtyneganjdm · 3 months

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Lost & Found

Summary: After escaping New York, Negan finds himself desperate for a place to rest when making his journey to Missouri to find his family. In the middle of the woods he finds a young girl that has been left alone to fend for herself.

Characters: Negan, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53376820/chapters/135093157

Warnings: Swearing, Negan Being an Asshole, Angst, etc.

Notes: I was originally going to make this a one shot, but it turned out to be way too long for a one shot, so it's just going to be a two part story. This is different than what I usually do, so just a pre-warning. Part two is already done so I will probably post it in like a day or two. (Y/N doesn't show up until chapter 2)

It had been a grueling few days with little to no food or water. After Negan finally escaped from New York, he started his journey to Missouri in hopes of finding Annie and Joshua. On the way he had been followed by a group of those from New York that had worked for The Dama before he had done what he had. Most of his supplies had been destroyed after the fight leaving him with little to nothing after he was able to kill them. In the fight he had also been wounded, but he was able to keep himself together enough to continue his journey.

The sun was starting to go down which left Negan in a vulnerable situation. He had lost his matches and he had nothing to keep him safe. Who knew if there were going to be more from New York coming after him. All he knew is that he needed to find some shelter for the night so in the morning he would be able to go looking for supplies.

Heading deeper into the woods, it took a while until he found what looked like an old cabin. There was a weathered fence that was put up around it that he assumed someone had put up half assed in order to keep out the walkers. Walking around the land, he could see that there was a well on the property and he let out an excited breath hoping that there would be drinkable water. There was a door in the gate, but it was locked. It had a metal chain wrapped around the door with a lock on it that was on the other side. It was strange that it was locked from the inside, but regardless he knew this would be the place he would have to catch his breath for the night. Finding an acceptable area in the gate, Negan was able to make his way over only having trouble at the top where there was barbed wire. On his way over, he got his jacket caught on it and found amusement in the fact barbed wire almost got him. Dropping down onto the ground, he took a minute to gather himself. That drop actually knocked the wind out of him. You could call it age, exhaustion or just the overall strain of getting his ass kicked earlier. Call it what you wanted. Maybe it was a little bit of all of those reasons.

The cabin appeared to be in a pretty good condition and he felt like he lucked out. An empty cabin in the middle of the woods was the perfect place for him to rest for the night. Moving up the stairs to the front door, he attempted to open it easily, but it didn’t budge. Trying to put some pressure on the door had it barely moving and he let out a grunt. The front door was blocked off. There had to be an easier way to get into the cabin without hurting his shoulder trying to knock down whatever was blocking the door on the inside. Stepping back, he looked the cabin over and let out a tense breath. There were no lights on in the cabin and when he listened, there was no noise coming from it either. It had to be empty.

Observing the cabin, he noticed that there was a broken window on the second level. Carefully, he did his best to crawl up the side of the cabin using some of the broken-down pieces of the cabin to make his way up. Toward the top he almost slipped but quickly caught himself enough to make it to the window. Once he was up there, he used his strength to crawl into the window and made sure that he wasn’t being followed.

“Hello?” Negan spoke up, hoping that if there were walkers that had passed living in the cabin it would draw them to him. At least he still had a weapon and he would be able to take them down. Clapping his hands together, he tried to make enough noise that would draw a walker, but when nothing came, he finally made his way out of the room.

Scoping out the second level, Negan noticed that there were several rooms that had beds and thanked God for that. In New York he had a nice room, but he was someone else’s puppet. Since he left, he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep and it would be nice to finally sleep in a bed tonight. It was strange though because things were still in a decent condition. Someone had to have been living here recently, but who? It was visibly empty from the lack of response.

Carefully making his way down the stairs, Negan was sure to check every room to confirm that the cabin was empty. There seemed to be supplies in the house. Weapons, books, toys, a little bit of everything. Maybe there was a walker in here that had found the same window that he did and made their way out. That still didn’t explain how they were able to get out through the gate that surrounded the place. The set up just wasn’t making much sense.

Tiptoeing into the kitchen, Negan opened a cabinets to see that there were jars of food filling them. A relieved breath fell from his lungs knowing that he would finally be able to eat. The ache in his stomach grew with his eyes observing over the options that were there. Whoever had left this cabin must have left in a hurry because they had left it fully stocked. A thankful sound escape his lips when his eyes fell upon the jar of peanut butter. Shakily reaching out to grab it, he rest it on the counter and then gazed over the rest of what was there. Noticing the crackers, he swiftly grabbed them and pulled them onto the counter as well. Who knows how incredibly fast he worked the lid from the peanut butter before dipping a cracker eagerly into it. Shoving the peanut butter covered cracker into his mouth came naturally. Groaning out after swallowing it down, he didn’t realize how hungry he had truly grown over the last few days. Continuously he kept eating the combination and maybe he should have been paying attention to how many he was eating, but his body was shaking with anticipation to finally be able to eat again.

A chill ran down his spine when he heard the sound of a floorboard squeaking. Turning on his heel, he let out an uncomfortable breath seeing a young girl standing behind him with a gun pointed directly at him. Grumbling under his breath, Negan rolled his eyes and gradually raised his hands up with the peanut butter jar in one hand and the crackers in the other. It didn’t take much for him to notice that she was scared by the way she was tremoring before him.

“Fuck,” Negan scoffed, the peanut butter making it incredibly hard for him to swallow down his last bite.

Where the fuck did she come from? He looked everywhere before making his way into the kitchen.

“Please leave,” she pled of Negan, her young voice broken while she held her gun further trying to make herself appear fiercer by pointing the gun directly at his head. By the looks of her, she might have been close to Hershel’s age. Maybe a little younger. By the tone of her voice and the way she was shaking, Negan didn’t find her to be much of a threat and he gradually lowered his hands down at his sides. The lack of fear that came from him only frightened the young girl more. Arching his eyebrow in curiosity had the young girl clutching the gun tighter. “Please.”

“I can’t do that right now. I’ve got nowhere else to go and if I go out there during the night, I’ll die,” Negan explained shaking his head noticing the fear in the girl’s eyes when he made it clear that he wasn’t leaving. “I just need a place to stay for the night and then I’ll leave in the morning. I swear.”

“You can’t do that here, you can’t stay here,” she explained with an anxious sound looking around in a moment of discomfort.

“I’ve got no other options. Some assholes destroyed my supplies and I really don’t have anything,” Negan tried to explain noticing the way that her eyes lowered to his large hunting knife that he had attached to his belt. “Listen, I’m tired. I’m hungry. I haven’t drank anything in a very long time. I just need to get some rest and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Talking her through things seemed to calm her down some, but she still seemed shaken to have a stranger standing in her kitchen.

“Are you alone?” she wondered, nervously gazing back over her shoulders to confirm that Negan was the only one that was there.

“Are you?” Negan’s brow raised in curiosity, his jaw clenching when he went to move, but she held the gun up again. It had him stopping in his tracks and he was trying to genuinely assess the situation between the two of them. He could talk her down, but when he approached her, it only made her scared again and she kept pointing that damn gun at him. “How old are you?”

“That doesn’t matter,” she claimed, hovering her finger in over the trigger as if to warn him what she might have been capable of. It had Negan huffing out, his brow line furrowing when she shook her head again. “If you want the peanut butter and the crackers, you can take them. But I need you to leave.”

“And I told you that I can’t leave. Not tonight,” Negan repeated hearing the discomfort in her breathing. By the way the girl was looking around the room, he could tell that she was trying to figure out what to do in this situation. “You’ve never shot someone. Have you?”

“I have,” she insisted with a nod of her head trying to steady the gun that was in her hand. It was dark so he could barely make out her features, but he could tell that she was young. “A few people.”

“Just a few, huh?” Negan set the jar of peanut butter down on the counter along with the crackers. An amused rumble of laughter fell from Negan’s lips when he took a step forward toward her and she took a step back. “I tell you what honey, I don’t believe you.”

“That would be your mistake then,” she warned him, drawing her finger closer to the trigger when Negan stepped in closer to her. “I’m not afraid of shooting you dead mister. So I suggest you leave. Now.”

“I’ll tell you what I think,” Negan began taking another bold step forward that had her repeating her earlier motion in stepping away from him. “I think you’re alone here and I think you’ve never shot someone in your life.”

“And what makes you so sure?” she gasped when Negan moved swiftly forward to snatch the gun from her hands, pulling her into his arms with her back against his chest. A worried breath fell from her throat when Negan placed the gun to her temple. “Please…please don’t…”

“If you knew what you were doing,” Negan lowered the gun before her, his left hand still firmly wrapped around her shoulders to show her the gun. Switching off the safety made a sharp exhale fall from her throat, “You wouldn’t have had the safety on the gun. Which tells me you have no clue how to use this thing. Which makes me believe that you weren’t always alone because you would be fucking dead if that was the case.”

Pushing forward, Negan heard the girl hit the ground hard when she scrambled back on the floor toward the corner of the kitchen. Keeping the gun pointed at her, he watched her hold up her hands and keep her head down, “Are you alone?”

Staying quiet, she refused to look at him or even answer him. The lack of response left Negan with a rage burning deep inside of him.

“Are you alone?” Negan screamed at her making her jump and she immediately nodded her head. “Speak when you are spoken to and nothing will happen to you. Do you understand?”

With a nod, he heard the tremoring in her breathing and he huffed, “I said speak when you are spoken to. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

“Yes,” she whispered with a bit of venom behind her tone, her jaw clenching when she finally lifted her eyes to his.

“How old are you?” Negan questioned again, his right eyebrow arching in curiosity.

“Thirteen,” she stammered, her bottom lip trembling while she sat before him on the ground. “I’m thirteen.”

“Okay. And why are you alone?” Negan pushed trying to figure things out as to why he had found a girl alone like this in the woods.

“We were running low on some supplies and my mother left to go search for some,” she explained cautiously lowering her hands when she braced herself on the floor. By the emotion he heard in her tone, he knew that she was telling him the truth. “That was a few weeks ago.”

“Did she teach you nothing?” Negan wondered, his head tipping from side to side. “How to defend yourself?”

“My mom was worried I would shoot something off if she taught me,” she answered nervously while Negan let out a tense laugh. “She gave me a quick course with the shotgun, but this was the only gun that I had on me when you came into the house.”

“Where were you when I was walking around?” Negan demanded an answer. Noticing that she wasn’t telling him, he raised his gun up higher and she lowered her head down again. He had no plans of hurting a child, especially one alone and vulnerable like this one, but she didn’t know that. “Where?”

“There is a trap door in the living room,” she was quick to give away her hiding spot and Negan lowered the gun a bit. “My mom told me to stay in the house. She said when the sun went down that I need to turn off the lights so it wouldn’t attract anyone. She said that if someone came into the house that wasn’t her that I needed to hide.”

“And how did you know I wasn’t your mom?” Negan inquired hearing her scoff under her breath and he stepped forward. “I asked you a question!”

“Because I have the key to the gate. When she came back, she was supposed to whistle a certain way and I would know it was her,” the young girl replied with a long sigh seemingly embarrassed that she got herself in this situation. “She was only supposed to be gone a few days.”

“Did she tell you to come out like this?” Negan muttered and he could tell by the way that she lowered her head that she wasn’t supposed to. “So your mother told you to stay hidden, but you decided to come out here and do this? Do you have a death wish or something?”

“I didn’t want you to steal the food,” she defended herself, pointing back to the cabinets that were behind Negan. “With mom gone, I’ve been doing my best to preserve everything.”

“What’s your name?” Negan asked, lowering the gun further noticing the way that her eyes were slowly becoming comfortable enough to meet his stare.

“Mia,” she spoke quietly and he waved his free hand about before lowering the gun at his side.

“Mia. That’s a good name,” Negan responded with a shake of his head, reaching for another cracker from the counter. “My name is Negan,” he informed her plopping the cracker between his lips and letting out a long sigh. “I hate to tell you this Mia, but I think your mom is dead. And she did you a disservice in not teaching you shit.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about,” she snapped at Negan, anger flooding her tone when Negan shrugged his shoulders. Maybe it was wrong to be so blunt, but it was best for the girl to know that now instead of continuing to expect to have her mother returning home. “My mom is strong. She wouldn’t just…”

“Strong people die in this world Mia. I’ve seen it happen a lot in my life,” Negan declared, leaning against the counter in the kitchen. In the small amount of light he could see that her eyes were tearing over at the mere suggestion that her mother was dead. “You know that I’m right Mia. If your mom was supposed to be back in a few days and it’s been a few weeks, she’s probably dead. There is no other reason for her to leave you here this long.”

A broken sound fell from the girl’s throat when Negan whistled and waved his finger about in the air, “Where is your dad?”

“I never met my dad,” she replied, wrapping her arms around her knees to pull them in closer to her chest. “My dad was killed when my mother was pregnant with me. A group raided our community and they took him. He was the leader and they killed him to make a point. They killed most of our community.”

“See what I mean,” Negan retorted, wiggling the hand that had the gun in it up in the air and she uneasily shifted with him pointing the gun in her direction. “Shit, sorry”

Turning the safety back on, Negan showed her the gun and then set it down on the counter noticing her confused expression, “Strong people die in this world Mia. Just like your dad. It sounds like he was a strong man and look what happened to him. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of strong men and women in this world.”

“You’ve probably been around long enough to see empires fall,” she snarked at Negan causing him to immediately burst out in laughter hearing the smart remark she threw his way. The expression over her face showed that she didn’t understand his response.

“That shit was actually funny,” Negan complimented her, grabbing the peanut butter and the crackers again. Sliding down onto the floor with her, Negan sat across from her and dug a cracker into the peanut butter again. “I thought you were this shy, weak little thing and you’re a fucking smart ass. I like that.”

“What do you want Negan?” she wondered, uncomfortable with the way he was sitting across from her.

“I tell you what Mia,” Negan began, his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. “You let me stay here a night and I’ll teach you how to take care of yourself.”

“No thanks,” she immediately responded drawing the lines in Negan’s forehead to grow deeper. “I’ll be fine without you.”

“I don’t think you will,” Negan countered, his eyebrows bouncing up with her quick snap back. “Most people aren’t like me. You’re lucky it was me that found this place and not someone else. You are gonna need someone to help teach you the things that your mama never did.”

“I’ll survive. I’ve gone this long without your help, I can keep doing it,” she declared causing Negan to roll his eyes and shift his legs on the ground to stretch them out.

“What are you gonna do when you run out of supplies?” Negan almost mocked her, setting the crackers down and sliding them out closer to her. There was tension in her body when Negan held out the peanut butter. “What are you going to do when your mother doesn’t come back?”

“She will,” she leaned forward and, in that moment, he could finally see the hazel coloring of her angered eyes in the small amount of light that was filtering into the room. It made a breath hitch in his throat getting his first decent look at her.

“Say I’m right and she doesn’t. How are you going to take care of yourself kiddo?” Negan brushed off the awkward sensation it caused him and he held the peanut butter further out toward her. Finally, she took the jar of peanut butter and it made him smile when she grabbed a cracker and took one for herself. “You can’t live on peanut butter and crackers. If you were low on supplies before, you are likely even lower now. So, go on kid, tell me how you are going to survive.”

“I just will,” she suggested, swallowing down hard making Negan laugh and roll his eyes. “You don’t have to be an asshole, Negan.”

“You’re being stupid Mia,” Negan stressed, pointing his hand up toward the gun that she had pulled on him earlier. “Put your guard down and realize the shit I’m offering is good for you. I’ll show you how to use all the weapons you have here. I can take you out tomorrow and show you how to hunt. And I’ll help you hide yourself better. We need to get some shit to hide this place and the fence. You’re out in the open for any group to find. If my old ass was able to climb up that fence unscathed, then someone else can too.”

“Unscathed?” she arched her brow, a scoff falling from her throat. “You look like shit.”

“Oh?” Negan noticed her pointing up toward his face and then toward the middle where he was obviously bleeding from the fight he had gotten in earlier. “That’s from something else.”

“Is it?” she breathed out, her throat tensing up. “Are you a good man Negan?”

“Is anyone good anymore?” Negan answered, lowering his hand to press his fingers in over his ribs from where he had been slashed by a combat knife earlier. Feeling blood beneath his fingertips, he let out a tense breath and shook his head. “You have my word that I won’t hurt you. I’ll just stay the day and when the next morning comes, I will leave.”

“What are you hiding from?” she questioned him now and it made Negan laugh. “I think I deserve to know.”

“What aren’t I hiding from? You can have your choice. Raiders. Walkers. Shitty people,” Negan rambled off noticing the way that her nose wrinkled. Hearing him say those things had confused her in some way and he wondered how long she had been locked up in here. “You really are oblivious to the world, aren’t you? How long has your mother had you locked away? Please tell me you know about the fucking walkers,” Negan begged hearing her sigh and he threw his hands up. “Biters. Flesh eaters. What the fuck ever you call them.”

“Of course I know about them,” she waved her hand about in the air and it made Negan sneer, shaking his head. “I don’t know how long I’ve been in here. I’m allowed to work the well, but I’m not allowed to stay outside for more than fifteen minutes at a time.”

“And how long has that been going on?” Negan interrogated her and she simply shrugged her shoulders. “You’ve been in this cabin that long? It’s a surprise the two of you weren’t killed yet leaving yourselves out in the open like this.”

“I told you, my mom is strong,” she restated to Negan who let out a dramatic breath and nodded his head about. “She is. My dad taught her to fight when they were together. My dad was a really good fighter. The strongest in our community. That’s why the group opposing ours killed him. They knew if they didn’t that my dad would destroy them.”

“Your dad obviously wasn’t as good as you think he was because he still got caught and killed,” Negan retorted and he could see the way that her features seemed less aggressive. Frowning, Negan threw his hands up in the air and shrugged his shoulders. “You fight pretty hard for a man you never knew.”

“Because my dad was a hero,” she argued and he shook his head slowly doubting that there were heroes anymore in this world. “My dad saved my mother when she was alone. She was about to be killed and he stepped in. He saved her.”

“That doesn’t make your dad a hero kiddo. Your dad was just probably horny and saw a woman that he thought was pretty. It was slim pickings back then,” Negan grumbled under his breath and a disgusted sound followed. “Your parents got intimate in order to create you kid. Or let me guess, your mother didn’t tell you about the birds and the bees. All that shit.”

“Yes, I know about sex, but no kid wants to think about their parents…doing…that,” she released another disgusted breath, shaking her head when she thought about what he was saying. “My dad was a good person. He fought for his people. He died protecting me and my mother. He knew that she was pregnant with me and he did everything he could to keep us safe.”

“Yet you’re alone in this cabin all by yourself,” Negan reasoned with her, his dimples becoming more prominent when she slid the jar of peanut butter back to him. “It sounds like your mother fed you a story to me. A rather unbelievable one at that. You’re what? Thirteen? Heroes didn’t exist back then. It was just people hoping to survive.”

“Why would she lie to me about him?” Mia didn’t seem to understand what Negan was hinting at and he huffed.

“To give you something good to think about?” Negan suggested while she considered his comments. “For all you know, your father was a one-night stand that she had. Two people running into one another. You could be an accident for all you know. Maybe your father was a shitty person and your mother wanted to hide that from you.”

“No, my mother isn’t good at lying,” she bickered, her young features becoming upset when he tried to suggest her father wasn’t everything that she was led to believe. “I can see it in the way that she talks about him. She really loved him. And he must have loved her and me for her to be that in love with him. The way she talks about him, she gets really emotional about it. He meant a lot to her. And she swears he did everything to protect us.”

“And yet he got himself killed,” Negan brought back the other part of the story she had told him. “If I had someone pregnant with a child on the way, I would have done whatever I could to be with them. Not risk their lives leaving them alone. He swore to protect both of you, but he left you alone to fend for yourselves.”

Once he saw the expression in her eyes change, he actually felt kind of guilty for unloading onto this kid, “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I guess he did fail.”

“Damn kid. Not completely,” Negan noted noticing that she was starting to think negatively about her family. “You’re still here, right? And your mom was around for a long time too. So whatever he did, he did something right. Even if he died, he kept the two of you here,” Negan felt like he was going back and forth with his own argument right now, but he was going to use it to his advantage. “So why don’t you honor your father and let me teach you how to continue to take care of yourself. That way you don’t die and waste everything he did to make sure you made it in this world.”

Thinking things over, she considered what Negan was saying before nodding her head, “Fine.”

“Smart decision,” Negan muttered having a hard time pulling himself up from the ground, letting out a half laugh at the pain he was feeling in his back. Lifting his head, he could tell that she didn’t know what to do seeing him having a hard time getting up. By the time he finally did get up, he raised his hand out to her. Observing the gesture, she almost considered not taking it, but after a while she finally accepted it. Staring up at him with her big eyes, she didn’t know how to go forward with things. “I’m gonna teach you your first lesson.”

Returning the gun to her, he could sense that she was uncomfortable and he shook his head. When she finally grabbed the gun, he motioned her to hold it right, “Now take the safety off.”

Listening to what he was telling, he urged her to point the gun at him and he shook his head, “No matter how scared you are, don’t take the gun off someone when you think you are in danger. You keep the gun pointed directly at the center of their head. You talk confident. You don’t break eye contact and you don’t shake. That way they know you are serious. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” she assured him and when he let go of her hand, he could see that she was still shaking.

“You aren’t going to make it in this world if you don’t assert yourself kid,” Negan warned her pointing toward her arms. After a minute of closing her eyes and taking in a long breath, she finally gathered herself. “Good job. Now you can make a choice.”

“What do you mean?” she was confused when Negan shrugged his shoulders.

“You can use that gun, take what I taught you and shoot me,” Negan informed her and he could see that she looked nervous. “Or we can follow through with our deal and you’ll let me help you further. We’ll take the day to teach you everything I can. And then I leave in the morning.”

“I’m not going to shoot you,” she refused, lowering the gun and putting the safety back on. “If you were a bad guy, you would have shot me immediately. We’ll keep our deal. You might think I’m naïve, but I can tell a bad person when I see them.”

Grumbling under his breath, Negan noticed that she waved him out of the kitchen and he snagged the peanut butter with the crackers when he followed her. Sitting down on the ground, she dug through some things before holding up some water, “Peanut butter does a number on your mouth. I’m sure you’re thirsty.”

“Thank you,” Negan accepted the water and moved for the couch that was at the other side of the room, dropping down on top of it to stretch himself out. A pained exhale fell from his throat when he looked down toward his ribs from where he had been injured, but he tried to brush it off. Taking the top off of the water, he drank down the liquid and he could tell that she was staring at him. “What?”

“Why are you alone?” she finally spoke up after taking a minute to gather her thoughts.

“I’m a loner,” Negan shrugged, clinging to the container that she had given him. “That’s just who I am.”

“So you just walk through the woods alone with no supplies?” she put together the details finding trouble coming up with what he was saying. “That sounds like bullshit.”

“I’m going to Missouri,” Negan claimed adjusting his body weight to rest his head back on the arm of the couch. It didn’t hurt telling this kid the truth about things. “My wife and my son are there.”

“You have a wife?” she questioned and it made him laugh. “Is she pretty?”

“Very,” Negan answered with a weak smile, his dimples sinking in when she eyed him over. “I sent her and my son away because they were in danger being near me. Now they are safe, so I can go be with them again.”

“Why were they in danger?” she blurt out, sliding in closer to the couch and the moonlight shined down in over her young features. Staring out at him with her big eyes had him take in a sharp breath when he noticed her dimples becoming more prominent with curiosity. “How long have you been away from them?”

“Too long,” Negan took another extended swig of the water that she had given him, setting it down at his side. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan felt himself staring at Mia for a long period of time before clearing his throat. “Did your mom ever tell you your daddy’s name?”

“No,” she shook her head and he could tell that she didn’t know why he was asking her about her father again. “What I’ve told you, I’ve only learned in the thirteen years of being alive. My mother doesn’t like talking about him because it makes her sad.”

“Huh,” Negan bit at his bottom lip, lifting his fingers up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

“Why?” she whispered and he let out a hesitant laugh.

“Because I feel like maybe I was killed or fucked up really bad in the fight that I got in,” Negan stated with an amused laugh trying to shake off the thoughts he was experiencing when he looked at the young girl.

“Uh…why?” she snorted and he lowered his hand to glare out at her.

“Because you look…” Negan began, a shuddering breath falling from his lips. There was something in the way that she looked at him that made Negan question his past. “Forget it.”

“Okay?” she let his answer linger before rocking back and forth. “So why have you been separated from your family this long?”

“I did something bad and the marshals were chasing me,” Negan thought back on his story. “It was getting hard on my wife and I didn’t want them hurt, so I sent them away. They thought I would be following them, but I didn’t. I stayed back. Now that I’m free, I’m making my way back to them.”

“What did you do that was bad?” she asked like a child would and he realized that this was becoming a million questions between them.

“I killed people,” Negan spoke honestly and there was a shift in the way that she was looking at him. At that moment he knew that she was considering if her decision to let him stay there was bad. “I killed five men that hurt my wife. They did some really terrible things to her and left her for dead.”

“Oh. How do you know they are still in Missouri? Your family,” she wondered and he cussed under his breath. “I don’t mean to sound negative, but if it’s been a long time, how do you know that’s where they are?”

“I just have to hope that they are,” Negan reached into his pocket to grab Annie’s bracelet that he still carried with him. Stroking his thumb over the bracelet, he sighed loudly and shook his head. “I don’t know if they are or not. But I have faith that I will find them. Because I can feel it that they are still alive.”

“You feel it?” she repeated his words, her curious eyes on him. Placing his hand in over the center of his chest, he rubbed over it and sighed. “I think I feel the same thing with my mother.”

“Yeah?” Negan muttered, his jaw clenching. Truthfully? With her mom gone this long, he didn’t feel as confident as she obviously did. At this point, he was certain that her mother was dead. “I hope you’re right Mia.”

Things got awkward in that moment. He was talking about having a feeling that his family was still alive. And she said she felt the same way about her mother. It just made it uncomfortable for him. Pushing the bracelet back into his pocket, he could see out of the corner of his eye that she was still staring at him.

“Do you have a picture of your mom?” Negan inquired, locking his stare with hers and she cracked a smile. “What?”

“Sure, let me go pull out my cell phone and I can show you one,” she chuckled and he rolled his eyes at her smart-ass comment. “Where am I going to have a photo of my mom?”

“I don’t know, people find polaroids all the time,” Negan reasoned with her, tossing his hand up in the air.

“What’s that?” her face twisted and Negan suddenly started feeling extremely old. “I’m not fucking with you, I don’t know what that is.”

“I know that,” Negan dropped his head back and he looked up toward the ceiling letting out a tense breath. “Some people actually carry photos around from when they were younger. I was hoping I would get lucky.”

“Get lucky?” she challenged what he said, not quite understanding it. “Why do you care what my mom looks like?”

“Because I’m trying to remember my life about fourteen years ago,” Negan answered her realizing that he was probably just letting his emotions get the best of him looking at this girl.

“What would my mom have to do with what you were doing fourteen years ago?” she pulled her knees back up to wrap her arms around her legs while she stared out at him with wonder in her eyes.

“It’s complicated,” Negan adjusted his positioning on the couch wishing that it was more comfortable than it actually was.

“Were you and your wife married back then?” Mia let another one of her thoughts out again. This time Negan didn’t answer, he just shook his head. “Did you have a wife back then?”

“Kind of,” Negan thought back to The Sanctuary and all the women that he called his wives.

“Kind of?” she repeated his answer and he gave her a glare.

“What’s with the fifty questions?” Negan snarled, surprising her with him getting cranky with her.

“I just…” she went to defend herself, but realized it wasn’t for the best. “Never mind. You’re probably tired. You can take one of the free rooms upstairs.”

“Sounds good,” Negan groaned out, sitting up on the couch. Wincing, he reached for his ribs and wrapped his arm around them. In that moment he felt the room spinning around him and he closed his eyes trying to pull it together. Once he did, he got up from the couch and huffed. “Has it always been you and your mom?”

“There were some others from our old community,” she headed for the stairs and Negan started to follow her, grasping tightly to the banister when he felt sick. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Negan lied, getting up a few steps further. “What happened to them?”

“What happens to everyone?” she looked back over her shoulder to see that Negan had turned pale and he stumbled forward onto the steps. “Negan?”

“I…I don’t think I’m okay,” Negan explained hitting the stairs hard, sliding down them before laying out on the floor at the bottom. His eyes were fogging over and the last thing he saw was Mia stumbling down the stairs moving in over him. And then everything turned black.

----

Groaning out, Negan’s eyes fluttered to a slow open noticing that there was light coming through the windows of the room that he was in. Everything was blurry and he was in agony. Hissing out, Negan lifted his head and once everything started to clear up, he realized he was at the center of the room he was in last night with Mia. Cussing to himself, he pushed at the damp cloth that was over his head. Once he realized what it was, he threw it onto the ground beside him. Rolling over, he gasped when he saw someone at the corner of the room. It took him a minute to realize that it was Mia curled up in the armchair that was there. Eyeing her over, he could see that her dark hair was pulled back into a hairband and she looked exhausted. With the position that she was in, he had no idea how she was even comfortable enough to sleep like that.

Attempting to pull himself up led to him crying out in pain and he noticed that he was on a mattress that was at the center of the room on the floor. Hearing him in pain had Mia’s long eyelashes fluttering to an open and she scrambled to her feet when she realized it was him hurt. Heading over toward the corner of the room she grabbed the water and something else before dropping to her knees beside him.

“Here, take this,” she tried to place something between his parted lips, but he was quick to smack them out of her hand. Shock flooded her young features followed by him grabbing a tight hold of her face. Digging his fingers into her cheeks had her letting out a whimper when he raised up onto his elbow. “Negan?”

“What did you put in the water last night?” Negan demanded an answer seeing her immediately shake her head. Her hazel eyes looked terrified when she reached for the water. There had to be a reason he passed out so swiftly last night like he did. “Why did you drug me?”

“I didn’t,” she insisted pulling the water up to her lips to show that she would drink the water too. It was hard for her to do it with him holding onto her face like he was, but when she dropped the water back down after drinking some, he could see that she was actually scared by his response. “Please…I didn’t drug you. Your wounds were infected. I think you had a fever. You passed out and fell down the stairs. I dragged a mattress down the stairs and I took care of you. Please. Please. Let me show you.”

Releasing her, Negan heard her let out a panicked breath before shakily reaching for the blanket that she covered him with previously. Lifting his head he noticed that he was shirtless with a bandage wrapped around his ribs. Shakily pulling the bandage off, she could see through his heavy eyelids that Negan was looking down at his wounds that he had over his abdomen. It didn’t look good and he let out a groan, dropping his head back against the mattress.

“I still had some medicine,” she explained moving over toward the corner to dig out the bottle that she had used. Handing it over to him, he looked at the bottle to see what she had given him. “And I was just trying to give you some pain medication. I swear. I didn’t do anything to hurt you.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan apologized, pinching at the bridge of his nose and setting the bottle onto the ground. His body was still on fire and he imagined that was the fever that she was talking about. “I didn’t think I was hurt that bad after my fight.”

“Yeah,” she breathed out, sliding back to press her back up against the couch feeling shaken up that he had grabbed her like that. “I made a deal with you. I wouldn’t hurt you.”

There was a fear in her eyes that Negan hadn’t seen before when he lowered his hand from his face to stare out at her. Everything was still a little blurry and he shook his head, “I’m sorry kid. I didn’t mean to get rough with you. I just…panicked.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered rubbing at her face from where he had grabbed her previously. It was still red and Negan felt guilty knowing that she was innocent. “I know what it’s like to be scared, but I wouldn’t do anything to keep you from getting back to your family Negan. I promise.”

“I believe you,” Negan grimaced, looking down at his ribs to see that his wound there looked terrible. Tipping his head back again, he noticed that her stare was locked on her feet and she actually looked really upset. “Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” she blew off his worries, avoiding eye contact with him.

“I’m really fucking sorry,” Negan repeated, shakily reaching out to place his hand in over her knee to get her attention. Doing that actually hurt him, but he could tell that she trusted him and for him to do what he did had really upset her in that moment. Finally getting her to look at him made a breath fall from his throat at the innocence in her eyes. “I didn’t understand why I passed out like I did last night. Some people use children to get someone’s guard down and unfortunately, I’ve heard about it in the past.”

“It’s just me here Negan,” she looked to his hand, giving him a small nod when he pulled his hand away. “But I understand.”

“I know I promised to teach you things today,” Negan’s fingers outstretched over his injured abdomen and he dropped his head back with a pained sound. “I have no idea what time it even is.”

“It’s evening. You’ve been out all day,” she informed him, sliding forward to reach for the pills that he had smacked out of her hands previously. “You might want to take these and then I can get you another shot of the medicine. It should help.”

“Fuck,” Negan accepted the pills, swallowing them down with the water before grunting out loudly. Throwing his hands in over his face, he heard her moving around.

“I need you to roll onto your side,” she instructed him hearing the huff that he gave out before doing as she told him. “I’m going to inject this into your hip because I’d feel kind of weird injecting this in your ass cheek.”

“Whatever you say kid,” Negan felt her tugging at his pants to get his hip exposed. The bed dipped beside him and he winced when he felt the pain that she caused when she inserted the needle. “Jesus! Be careful with that fucking thing!”

“I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before other than when you were passed out,” she apologized, finishing the injection. After moving around behind him, he felt her placing something over his hip where she gave him the injection. Lifting his head up, his eyes fell upon the band aid that was decorated with a cartoon character and he smirked. Shaking his head, he fixed his pants and laid at the center of the bed again. “I need to clean your wounds and bandage your ribs again to keep it from getting infected.”

“You shouldn’t have wasted your medicine on me,” Negan explained feeling her delicately moving in beside him. Watching her closely, he saw her pour something out onto a cloth before placing it over his wounds to dab at them. Wincing out had her jumping, but he fought to keep it together since he knew she was already on edge from what he had done earlier. “Your mother should have taught you better than that. Using your supplies on a stranger means there is less for you.”

“She did,” Mia corrected Negan, a lump developing in her throat when she heard Negan laugh after she dragged her fingers across a certain area. Giving him an odd expression, she shook her head. “The hell was that?”

“I’m ticklish,” Negan was honest causing her to roll her eyes. “If your mother taught you not to waste supplies, then why are you doing it?”

“Because you promised to help me,” she responded with a loud exhale, shakily finishing up with the job that she was doing on Negan’s ribs getting them bandaged again. Once she was done, she pulled the blanket back up over Negan’s body and he didn’t fight her on it. Outstretching over him, she grabbed the cloth he had thrown off and moved around the room to get his wet again, ringing it out just enough. Returning to him, she lowered the material over his head in attempts to bring down his fever with his eyes hooked on her. “And you have a family that is waiting on you. Somewhere your son is waiting for you like I’m waiting for my mom.”

“Yeah,” Negan felt his chest ache when she dropped down to sit on the ground beside the mattress that he was on. “Thank you. I probably would be dead if it wasn’t for you.”

“It was the right thing to do,” she whispered and Negan noticed that she was rubbing at her face again where he grabbed her.

Gazing over her, Negan felt a lump developing in his throat staring out at her. From her green-brown hazel eyes to her coloring, the dimples and even the color of her hair it had Negan deep in consideration with the way that she looked.

“Is your mother’s name Sherry?” Negan thought about the affair that he had with Dwight’s wife before they arrived at The Sanctuary all those years ago.

“No?” Mia raised her eyes again and Negan grunted. “What is it with you and my mother?”

“I just thought you might want to talk about her,” Negan lied hating that he was even considering the fact that this girl next to him may have been his daughter. It was stupid to think that it was Sherry that was her mother considering she would have been older than thirteen and he would have known about the baby if it was. Goddamn, he was pissed that he was having such a hard time remembering things from back then.

“How about we talk about your son,” she suggested and it made a warmth flood into his face. “How old is he?”

“He’s a few years old,” Negan answered drawing his arm up over his eyes again to hide the light since it was aiding to his headache. “His name is Joshua. Super cute. Big dimples. Has my eyes. A mix of his mother’s skin tone and mine. Dark, curly hair.”

“Sounds cute,” Mia stated with a half-smile sitting by the edge of the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. “He probably gets away with everything.”

“What do you mean?” Negan lifted his head seeing her giving him a big cheesy smile that made him snort, but it drew attention to her dimples as well.

“My mom always told me it was my dimples that let me get away with everything,” she explained hearing Negan’s laughter at the face she made when she was showing him her dimples again. Negan’s nose wrinkled in amusement and he snorted.

“You’re a weird kid,” he responded drawing her cheeks to flush over with red in embarrassment. “It’s not a bad thing,” Negan assured her when she dropped her head down to look at her lap. “My mom told me the same thing when I was little too. She said anytime I got in trouble I would just look up at her and smile. She’d forget everything.”

“I guess those of us with dimples use them the best way we know how,” she suggested and he nodded his head slowly. “Do you miss him?”

“Very much,” Negan swallowed down, getting more relaxed on the bed while he looked up at the ceiling. “He was a cuddler. That’s what I miss the most. He would always crawl into the area between my arm and my chest. Just place his head on my chest,” Negan placed his hand in over the area that Joshua used to lay and he felt his eyes start to tear over. “It was the place he felt the safest, I guess. It was my favorite thing. I’d give anything to have those moments back.”

“It sounds nice,” she whispered with a weak smile, nodding her head slowly. “My mom has always been…” there was a silence that fell between them as she shook her head. “I don’t know. I think she saw things so she’s been very hard since I was little. She always protected me, but I think she was afraid of being loving with me in case…well…in case this happened I guess.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Negan noticed that Mia seemed upset when thinking about her mother. “She still loved you though. You know that.”

“Yeah. As much as she could,” Mia agreed with Negan, nodding her head about when she shifted on the ground beside him. “You sound like you’re a good dad Negan. Joshua is lucky to have you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Negan admitted, an ache flooding throughout his body when he shook his head. “I abandoned him and his mom. I’ve been gone for a while Mia.”

“You did what you did to keep them safe. I can’t think of a greater sacrifice than that,” she assured him, throwing her hand up in the air to point out at him. “I’m sure if you tell him the truth about things when you find him again, he’ll understand.”

“You have a lot more faith than I do,” Negan confessed, turning on his side away from her to avoid showing her that he was crying thinking about his family.

“You’re the one that was talking about hope,” she reminded him only to have silence on the other end. After a while, she heard him sniffling and she spoke up again trying to change the subject. “I see you have freckles on your shoulders. I have those too. I thought I was weird or something was wrong with me, but I guess I was born with those.”

A chill flooded his veins when she added another thing to the list of things she had in common with him and he just started to wonder if this was some kind of nightmare he was trapped in where his brain was conjuring things up for him.

Negan didn’t respond and she felt uncomfortable just sitting there, “I saw all of your tattoos.”

“Oh yeah? Do you got a tattoo somewhere too?” Negan was sarcastic with her, looking back over his shoulder at her when her hazel eyes got big.

“No, but it would be awesome if I did,” she exclaimed excitedly, throwing her arm up and pointing toward an area. “I would get the word believe written right across here.”

“Believe?” Negan scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “That’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. It’s fucking awesome,” she insisted seemingly offended by his response. “It would serve as a reminder. To always believe that things are going to get better.”

“You don’t need a tattoo of that to feel better about yourself,” Negan snorted, his nose wrinkling when she gave him a dramatic expression. “What?”

“Like you have any room to talk Mr. I have blacked out rectangles on my knuckles,” she half laughed noticing the glare that Negan gave her when she pointed out his tattoos to him. “Like those have some special kind of meaning to you.”

“Touché,” Negan rolled his eyes and turned away from her again hearing her humming under her breath.

“I like the happy face tattoo on your middle finger. It’s funny. What do all of your tattoos mean?” she questioned after noticing how many he had. “You have a ton of them. Do you like pirates? Is that why you have the one you do on your chest? Is the dog on your back one of your old pets? Are you very religious since you have a few crosses on your body? What does Bisou mean? I was also wondering where your name came from? I’ve never heard it before. Is it like a family name?”

“Jesus!” Negan snapped, looking over his shoulder at her again noticing the way her eyebrows bounced up. Everything was starting to overwhelm him and he didn’t even know where to start with her since he was already finding himself uncomfortable with this whole thing. “Do you ever shut up?”

“Not really,” Mia simply shrugged her shoulders and gave him a sheepish smirk. “My mom always told me that I talked too much, but I just like learning things. It’s the one thing I think she couldn’t stand the most about me. Said my dad talked too much too, but I figured if you’re going to be here…”

“We’re not friends Mia!” Negan interrupted her sitting up in the bed noticing the way she got pale after he cut her off. There was anger in his tone and she looked upset to see him snap at her. “I’m just a stranger to you. Once I get better, I will take a day to teach you what I promised and then I’m fucking leaving. Do you understand me? We’re not friends. I’m not going to get personal with you. So…just be fucking quiet. I want to rest so I can get better and I can get the hell out of here.”

“I’m sorry,” she frowned, her hazel eyes looking away from him, “I’ve just been alone and…” he could see the sadness flooding into her eyes again before she stood to her feet. “I just haven’t talked to anyone in a really long time and…” she cut herself off thinking about the things that Negan had just said. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry for bothering you Negan. Get some sleep.”

Huffing out, Negan turned onto his back and heard her walking up the stairs toward the second level and he started to feel guilty, “Kiss. It means kiss.”

“What does?” Mia slowly turned on her heel and lowered down to sit on the step she was on.

“Bisou. It means kiss,” Negan educated her letting out a long sigh. “I like skulls. That’s why I have the skull on my chest. The dog is an old dog of mine. And I just like crosses, I’m not religious. I just like the aesthetic of them,” Negan explained the questions that she asked him. “And I don’t know what kind of name Negan is, it’s just what my parents named me.”

“What’s your last name?” she inquired getting a glare from Negan in response. “Last question. I promise. And then I will leave you alone.”

“Smith,” Negan responded, clutching to the pillow that was under his head.

“I was expecting more,” she chuckled, pulling herself up into a standing position. “With a first name like that, you expect something more unique. And it’s interesting you named your son Joshua.”

“It was Annie, my wife’s idea,” Negan informed her, clearing his throat when he thought about his son. “His name means salvation. That was kind of the point. Joshua was my salvation.”

“Oh, wow,” she breathed out noticing the sadness that flooded into Negan’s features again talking about his son. “That’s deep. I don’t know why my mother named me Mia. I just think…she liked the name.”

“Goodnight Mia,” Negan grumbled under his breath turning away from her and cuddling his head in closer to the pillow. More than anything, he just wanted to shut his brain off and rest. The faster he got out of here, the better.

“Goodnight Negan,” she whispered taking a minute to head up the stairs before heading to her bedroom. It left the house silent when Negan closed his eyes. He just had to get better and then he could be back on his way to find his family. All this extra added nonsense was just driving him crazy and he could tell he needed to get away from all of this.

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