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#we love a man that’s self aware
janetsnakehole02 · 2 months
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just discovered the absolute gold mine that is gabriel macht’s twitter account
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hypostatic-oath · 4 months
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Hydro Archon, Hydro Archon, Don't Cry
I've noticed a pattern with 5star characters in my game - they only come home after I've done their story quest or at least the Archon Quest where they appear. From an in-game perspective it's obviously because it takes me a while to finish the quest and I raise the pity in the meantime, however... from a SAGAU perspective, it's adorable that they only come around after I've spent the time to get to know them better.
Content Warnings: Angst, Furina desperately needs a hug.
SPOILERS FOR 4.2 BELOW
Imagine Furina before the Archon Quest. She's holding it together, like she has been for five hundred years. She's been performing her role so well for so long, yet she feels like she's already gone beyond her limit. She doesn't know how long she can handle doing this for, but she knows she must.
Late at night, she takes a break to catch some air. She's aware that she's still performing - she's alone, but she cannot risk lowering her mask, even before an invisible audience. She takes a deep breath and looks up, and doesn't even feel the tears flowing down her face.
A shimmering light crosses the sky.
Foçalors, it beckons. Come home.
Oh no. Not this. She's not ready, she's not ready! Not tonight. She tells herself she'll answer your summons tomorrow. In truth, she doesn't feel worthy of answering. What if she's not what you expect?
That isn't even a question. She knows she's not what you expect.
She knows you have other Archons - real Archons - among your Vessels. She panics - she doesn't even have a Vision, much less an Archon's authority. There's only so much she can achieve with acting. What would she do when you took her out on the battlefield and she inevitably failed?
Come on... Another shooting star crosses the sky, your voice a faint, ethereal whisper in her ears. I need an Archon team...
It fills her with dread. She can't answer your summons! She absolutely can't! Not only would she disappoint you - because there's no way she wouldn't, surely, she can't imagine a world in which you are not disappointed once you figure out just what she is, a fraud who can't even use Hydro much less be the literal Archon - she'd also jeopardize her only purpose.
She rushes inside, back to her room, closes the shutters and the window and the curtains and almost leaps into bed, placing the covers over herself as if to shield herself from the world.
She can still hear you calling.
The next day, Poisson is struck. The prophecy is in full swing. She's frantic, searching for something, anything that could possibly help. All the while maintaining the façade. At least you seem to have given up.
It's both relieving and heartbreaking.
At night, she doesn't even risk it - her windows are kept shut. She analises every report, and locks her door when she notices that she's crying, the papers she's holding becoming dotted with tears that fall despite her best efforts. She can hear the rain hitting her window, and the downpour has her feeling even more hopeless.
Neuvillette speaks with her in the following morning. If the pressure from you wasn't enough, she now also has to manage to assure the Hydro Dragon Sovereign that she has everything under control. It's funny, how those eyes capable of such gentleness seem to gaze into her without a shred of mercy. Just speaking to him now feels like she's been put on trial, and Furina knows, deep down in her soul, that she is guilty.
He presses. Poisson has fallen. She knows. She also knows she's likely crying, the mask is slipping, but she can't give up. She has no right - no right at all, to sacrifice the lives of every person in Fontaine for the sake of her comfort. She cannot afford to slip up. And that means she cannot trust anyone - not you, and not Neuvillette. So she gathers the little control she can at this time, tells him she knows exactly what she's doing, and dashes out the door.
Wait, Furina!
She barely hears your voice as she runs. "I'm sorry, but I can't answer!" She thinks, as she rushes to the top floor of the Palais Mermonia. She knows she gas no time to lose. She needs to get herself in check, to wipe away her tears, to figure something out. Where had she gone wrong? Five hundred years, searching for a solution. Five hundred years of observing every trial, hoping it'll finally be the one she needs. But nothing.
She has nothing, and Poisson has fallen.
She thought the Traveler - and you, by extension - would be the key. That by judgding them she'd have the "most magnificent trial" that her mirror self spoke of. And yet, at every turn, the blonde outlander had managed to evade being sentenced, or even making the trial as grand as she'd expected. She paces around in her room as she mulls it over. Should she had judged you directly? Could she have done so? That would've been a trial for the ages - the Overseer, brought to justice by the Hydro Archon of Fontaine, for the crime of... what could she even accuse you of? Posessing people's bodies? That had to be illegal - or at least immoral enough to warrant a trial...
She lets her body flop onto the bed, covering her eyes with one arm as she lets out a sigh that despite its overdramatic appearance, is in fact incredibly genuine. She's tired. So tired.
Foçalors, come home.
Furina buries her face beneath one of the pillows. She hopes it'll drown out the sound of your voice. She can't distinguish whether that ache in her chest is from your summons growing more insistent or from how much she needs to cry.
The shooting star turns golden outside the window, and Furina wonders if the fact that someone else intercepted it will be enough to dissuade you. She hopes it is, otherwise, her days are numbered.
No more stars cross the sky that night, and relief washes over her body, in a wave so intense that she once again doesn't notice the tears. She falls asleep like that, and dreams of rising waters.
Furina heads to the Opera Epiclese in the morning. She's not looking forward to seeing Neuvillette, but she prays that there'll be a trial. "Please," she thinks, as she sits down in the throne reserved for the Hydro Archon, observing the stage from on high, "let it be today."
It isn't. Instead of a trial, there is a performance... and though she usually loves them, now is not the time. Worse yet, she's spotted by the crowd as she's getting ready to leave. They're angry, of course they are. The prophecy is true, and what is their Archon doing? Furina performs as best as she can, but this time the audience is completely unreceptive. She doesn't blame them. She'd be angry, too, in their shoes. She knows they're terrified. She's terrified, too.
But what can she do? Her search has turned up empty. She has no powers, not really, none besides the power of persuasion and even that seems to be slipping more and more these days. She cannot reassure her people. Neuvillette no longer trusts her, if he ever did. The water rises every day with no signs of stopping.
"Why, mirror-me? Where am I failing?"
The crowd chases her out of the theater. Neuvillette is nowhere in sight, and even if he were, Furina isn't sure she could call upon him now. The time in which he acted as her shield if gone. Neuvillette is now just another of the many she's disappointed.
It hurts.
With no other choice, she runs - as far as her legs will take her, she dashes away from the crowd, and guilt tells her she's being a coward. That she needs to stand up and reassure the masses, that she needs to do what an Archon would at that time.
The notion feels almost ridiculous. She cannot command her element freely like Barbatos, or raise protections over her city like Morax. She cannot threaten to strike down the unruly like the Shogun, nor does she have Lesser Lord (Lesser Lord! Hah! Even someone known as 'Lesser' is leagues beyond Furina's ability) Kusanali's foresight and wisdom.
So she does what she can do.
Whether it is fate or simply her own feelings of guilt, she finds herself in Poisson, at the base of the Spina di Rosula. The place where all those people - her people - had lost their lives to a disaster she was supposed to prevent.
When the Traveler extends their hand, she doesn't know whether it is a blessing or a curse. She wants to run again - what else can she do? But her pursuers are apparently still giving chase, and the outlander offers her aid. She can feel your presence from within them - every time she's crossed paths with them, as brief as those moments were, you were there. She can tell that the longing in the blonde's eyes is, at least in part, yours.
She's sorry.
She follows the Traveler to the hiding place - someone's home? It seems irrelevant. For a moment, she wonders if she could sue you for invasion of private property. "Oh, what am I thinking? The time for the grand trial is over... and even if it weren't, suing the Overseer for something so trivial would warrant the same result as the first time I challenged the Traveler..."
The Traveler. The outlander whose presence preceeded disaster. They were known for solving it, sure, but she knew that the moment they set foot in Fontaine the prophecy would have already started. Was it their fault, or yours?
Furina still feels like it might be hers.
The Traveler offers help once again. They extend their hand, and the look in their eyes as they ask her to confide in them is so earnest, so genuine. She swars she can hear two sets of voices saying the words - the Traveler's, and yours. It's faint, and gentle, and pained, and carries a yearning she knows she cannot fix.
Through them, you reach for her and she almost breaks. She knows you'll stop reaching once you know the truth.
Furina, please. You can trust us, love. Let me- let us help. People from your world cannot know, but neither of us fit that criteria. Your people will not dissolve, I promise you. I've seen enough worlds to know.
She considers it.
She hears your voice, and considers it. But there is uncertainty in your tone. You're gambling, and she's a good enough actress to know you're not sure yourself. They wouldn't do it, that's your reasoning. Furina doesn't know who 'they' are, but you're placing all your bets on the fact that 'they' would not erase an entire Nation. Who are 'they'? Celestia? If so, she knows for certain that your wager is more optimistic than based on facts. It's not enough - blind optimism is not enough for her to risk it, not even from a being like you. Besides, that is not her choice to make.
She cannot give up. She cannot lower her guard. Not with Neuvillette, not with the Traveler, not with you. The Traveler urges her for a response, reaches out, and she's about to deny them, when the house's walls fall.
Damn it, we needed more time! Furina, I'm so sorry.
She feels your sorrow about at the same time that she feels the spotlight on her.
Neuvillette looks down from his seat as the Chief Justice, and somehow the sliver of pity in his eyes hurts more than the coldness of a few days prior.
She's on trial.
________
She's crying.
She's not even making an effort to conceal it anymore. It's over. The curtains have closed and everything she worked so hard for has crumbled. The people know. Neuvillette knows. You know. Furina makes no effort to hear your voice. She knows you're disappointed.
If she did, perhaps she'd hear how you're screaming at the Traveler to go check on her. If she did, perhaps she'd hear how despite everything, you're reaching out, still. How you wish to hold her tight, as she deserves. She'd perhaps hear your outrage at the thought of her being subjected to the death sentence, she'd hear you trying to tear Neuvillette apart for allowing it, she'd hear you slowly realising that the fact that the sentence is addressed to the Hydro Archon means it's not her who dies.
She doesn't witness your relief.
Instead, it is you who gain an understanding of her thoughts. The Traveler reaches for her, and she can feel you pushing through, but she can't stop performing. Even now, she's still holding it, as much as she can.
You tear through her defenses with more ease than she expected. Furina had, until now, thought of you as detached. She knew you saw the world as a stage, a story for your amusement. Sure, you liked them, but only to the extent that one likes characters in a play, right? You were, as far as she knew, exactly the type of god - or, er, entity? - she emulated. Fickle. Boastful. Using lives as entertainment, watching trials and tribulations like a performance and solving the Nations' troubles like nothing more than a game. She had not expected you to care.
Not about her.
Not after knowing the truth.
You push forward. She knows it's you, and not the Traveler, who's in control. She can feel it, the intensity with which you reach out is the same she felt tugging at her very being every time a star crossed the sky. She knows it's you who's still trying to reach her. Even if she's failed.
Even if she's not capable of being in your Archon Team.
So she sighs, and lets you witness. That is your role, after all, isn't it? An audience of one, watching an interactive play. You haven't given up on her character, even though it's not what you expected. You're not what she expected, either. Funny, she finds herself thinking, you're both more human than anyone realised.
You witness her life. She lets it play out like a film before your eyes, the endless stream of memories of growing hopelessness as she realised that the prophecy was slowly setting itself up and she was not any closer to finding out how to stop it. Now you know - the truth, the whole truth. She has nothing left to lose now, anyway. Everything is lost. She was unmasked. She failed.
You're pushed out of her thoughts after she invites you to take your place on stage. You act in her memory, but this time the Traveler doesn't speak. You barely have time to state your piece - all you manage is an I'm sorry before being forced away. She has nothing more to share. That is enough, she figures, and far more than she ever thought she'd share. She still feels the urge to cry, but part of it is from relief.
After that, she doesn't feel your presence until after the flood.
The prophecy comes and goes and Fontaine is unharmed. The flood lasts no more than minutes, and no one is dissolved. Furina remembers your words - 'they' wouldn't do that. Though she is unsure as to 'their' identity, she is thankful that you were right. The sunlight feels like bliss upon her skin as she steps out of the Opera Epiclese, gentle rays drying the remaining water from the streets and the tears on her cheeks, and for the first time in five hundred years she breathes easy.
"They're still hoping you'll come." A familiar voice pulls her out of her trance. The Traveler, alone, stands behind her. Your presence is nowhere near. They look the same, yet different, without you within. Furina can't quite explain it, but it feels odd after being so used to seeing you within the outlander.
"I'm not an Archon." She answers, a certain bitterness in her voice as she looks down, defeated.
"I don't think they care. I know you need to rest for now, and they don't have enough primos for a ten pull anyways, but... just so you know. They'll keep trying."
Furina doesn't quite know whether that is meant as a warning or as an opportunity presenting itself. They're gone before she can ask. Either way, they're right - she is tired, and she does need rest. Out of instinct, she heads to the Palais Mermonia, but stops herself as she reaches for the door.
"Lady Furina." The gentle, deep voice she knows as belonging to the Iudex pulls her from her thoughts. She doesn't dare look him in the eye. He opens the door for her, but she simply turns away. She cannot face him, not after that trial, not after everything she'd done.
"Thank you, monsieur Neuvillette. But I... I think I'll be going, now."
The now fully restored Hydro Dragon can only watch as Furina walks away. He knows she needs her space right now, but that doesn't stop him from worrying for her. He'll arrange the best apartment he can get for her, and make sure she never lacks for anything. In the meantime, though, he'll just try not to let his emotions get the best of him, lest he causes a downpour to fall upon poor Furina, who definitely does not need rain right now. If there is one thing he knows about humans is that rain does not, for the most part, cheer them up. So he holds it in, promising himself that he'll take a small break for a walk after the aftermath of everything is over, and heads to his office.
There is so much to do...
_________
Three weeks pass. Furina lays on her bed, her window open, the soft breeze bringing the smell of a night that promises rain into the apartment. She is busy, not with work, or with renovations, but with the azure glass sphere that she holds up to the light, examining it under her lamp. A Vision... during all those years, she had never thought she'd receive such a thing, much less after being pushed away from her role as the Archon. She is thankful, yes, for her newfound freedom, and, she supposes, for the fact that she'd gotten to act again. But it still remains that this bauble was completely unexpected.
Power. This little thing can give her power. She's still unsure on how to use it, and it crosses her mind that the Traveler - or you - might know. You owe her, after all, after what she did to help you out with the play... she could feel you trying to strangle the Traveler and Paimon on the astral plane and that was perhaps why she wasn't entirely offended by their remarks. Still, she had made a great effort for that play. It was only fair that at least one of you repays the favor, no?
Furina smiles softly, sighing. She'll have to put up a commission at the Guild tomorrow.
She examines the light reflecting within, and it reminds her of the surface of the sea as seen from underwater. The holder, a silvery ornament not unlike those she's seen worn by Vision-bearers, has a distinct characteristic - four fang-like details that seem to secure the glass in place. Before she can give it more thought, the first pitter patter of raindrops reaches her ears, and she rushes to retrieve the clothes hanging on the line she has in the small balcony of her apartment before they get too wet. She rushes outside, hearing as the rain and wind pick up.
"Damn it, damn it, damn it..." She mutters to herself, quickly shoving the clothes onto a basket, trying to pick them off the line as fast as she can. Behind her, a flash of light illuminates the night sky. "Oh, I am so not in the mood for thunder..."
Furina cringes, hoping the storm is not directly above. Maybe she'll be able to sleep if it's just a faraway rumbling. What she hears, however, is not the booming sound of a storm.
Furina. Come home.
You're still trying. For a moment, she forgets about the heavy rain, and the clothes, and simply looks up at the sky. Blue flashes, one after the other, cross the clouds in rapid succession. Even after everything, you hadn't given up. The Traveler had warned her, but at the time she hadn't been in a stable enough state of mins to even care, still shaken from everything that had happened.
Now, she simply looks up.
"Overseer." She answers. You won't be able to add her to the 'Archon Team'. She knows she's not as powerful as most of your Vessels - hell, she doesn't even know how to use her Vision yet. But you still want her.
You know the truth - the whole truth - and you still want her.
The next star that crosses the sky turns gold, and glows brighter and brighter until it lands in front of her, hovering above the railing on her balcony. It emits a soft, warm light, and Furina reaches for it like she'd reached for her Vision.
Warmth spreads over her body, and it feels like every time she'd looked at the Traveler with you in them, except everything feels more... intense. It's not like she's seeing the filtered bits of you that shine through the cracks in someone else, no. She can feel you directly, and she understands why they call it 'coming home'. It's warm. It's comfortable. And for the first time she can truly, honestly say she doesn't feel alone.
You're happy she's there. Time seems to stop around her, and she finds herself dry and in a field full of stars. If she squints, she can barely make out a form, a swirling swarm of stardust in the vague shape of a person. She reaches a hand out.
You place the cursor over her outstretched hand.
Welcome home, Furina.
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m1d-45 · 1 year
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wandering
summary: my scaramouche pulls, but make it sagau
word count: 1.8k
-> warnings: minor spoilers for sumeru (3.2) archon quest, author has not done 3.2 archon quest but had been spoiled by tumblr :/, probably ooc scara. based entirely on me and my prior pulls (pulled miko, pulled + built childe, has an itto), like two swear words?
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3
< masterlist >
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scaramouche didn’t know what to think of the stars.
he’d kept an eye on them, out of curiosity, watching as constellations rose and fell, rose and fell, their cyclical nature never ending. he never saw any importance in them—not even when he heard of the forest watcher in sumeru being used as a vessel and his glass heart twisted—and hence never paid any attention, focusing on his mission in sumeru. he kept a passing eye on them, sometimes trying to guess how long the current rotation would be up during particularly boring fatui meetings, or trying to guess which constellations would light up when the stars began to fall.
after a while, he began to pay a little more attention to the patterns. he didn’t know why, but suddenly they drew him in more, even as he rolled his eyes whenever tartaglia boasted about a star crossing his constellation. never mind that that guuji from inazuma had hers too, no, he was the one that mattered.
and he was probably right. his bow had been replaced, he was a better shot than ever, and his water blades burned with skill. even the tsaritsa noticed his increase in strength, irritatingly, sending him a letter of congratulations on becoming a vessel. he’d even spent a whole day drafting a three-page letter to his family detailing it all, all the new skills and power he’d picked up by being with you.
what made him so favored?
he pulled down the brim of his hat, repressing the need urge to look up at the sky. he’d never been one to believe in astrology, or astronomy, or whatever that witch in mondstat wanted to call it. he wasn’t going to start now, not when his whole plan in sumeru was close to toppling.
he arrived at his camp. he accepted reports with a scowl. he marched to his office. he glanced through the window. he sat down.
he didn’t know why he was being so contradictory. he’d never felt this before towards anything, let alone something he actively despised. there was no reason for this. at all.
scaramouche picked up his pen, pulling over another dull report. the words bled together, the handwriting atrocious, and he was tempted to burn it. the only thing stopping him was the knowledge that it meant he’d have to ask for another from whatever recruit turned it in.
he tapped his pen on his finger. it was hard to focus, unnaturally, and he chalked it up to the weird feeling that’s been bugging him all day; the same one that wanted him to look at the stars. he sighed, adjusted his hat, glared at where a tassel caught on his chair, and picked up a pen again.
‘troops near chatrakam cave…’
purple eyes glared at his page, at where the ink bled a bit as he left his pen too long. what was his problem?
his eyes flicked to the window, to the curtains waving in the breeze coming though.
‘…have encountered no problems. all…’
‘…all…’
‘…all is going gwe-‘
scaramouche slammed his pen on his desk with a loud groan, standing from his chair and sending it skidding back. with stomping steps, he approached the offending window, reaching to shove the pale green curtains aside. he fumbled once on the lock but quickly pushed open the whole window, removing his hat to put his head through and glare at the sky.
“what the fuck could you possibly-…”
scaramouche stared.
his steel tongue was stilled, no quick remark or scathing quip coming to his mind. his thoughts were empty, his mouth suddenly dry as he looked upwards.
at his constellation.
he knew the moment he received a vision—how he wanted to see it shatter—that he had one, the image filling his mind alongside the elemental abilities. he knew what it was, he knew it’s name, he knew the six stars that composed it and the lines drawn between.
he didn’t know it was in the sky.
but there it was, blue stars shining brightly next to some orange bull, almost mocking him as he looked up at them. in his disdainful study of the stars, he knew that only a few were delegated to the prime positions in the sky, and that the latter of the two had been rotated in already. even if he didn’t, the way it’s stars outshone his made it clear.
curses rose and fell on his tongue, like a relentless tide that dared him to speak whilst taking away his air.
he knew what having a constellation in the sky meant. he knew it, and it was why he tried earnestly to destroy it the moment he got over the shock when he received it. he wasn’t picky about power, but power that came at the cost of being another gods puppet?
he’ll pass, thanks.
so to see himself in the sky, to know that at any moment strings could be tied around his wrists once more, that he could be jerked and pulled across a stage of another’s making-
the stars shone brighter.
his office fell away, his hat slipping from between his fingertips.
no.
he reached for it, he reached for his last semblance of a shield—he wouldn’t need it—from another god, but he barely felt the fabric before it was gone.
a white haze surrounded him, vaguely bubbling into clouds far beneath his feet as he stood on an invisible platform. a blurry rectangle was far out in front of him, a distorted voice warping through.
“-i have 45, that makes… i just have to get lucky, then…”
the voice was soft- you were soft, urging him to relax even as his rational mind fought. he could feel his heart speeding up in his chest, feel the war of emotions clouding his thoughts.
this wasn’t fair. you didn’t get to show up, after everything he’d been through, and expect him to fall into your lap. you didn’t get to do that, not to him, not now, not ever.
how he wished you’d catch him.
stars lit up the sky, one after another, and he saw one of them cross a flower-like constellation. you ooo’d and thanked whoever it was for answering—as if they had a choice—and sent out more stars, more wishes, the dust certainly fogging his head.
your voice grew clearer the more stars you summoned, his heart rate increasing in turn. how many did you have? would he be forced to go? why did he want to? would you wrap your divine hands around his and pull him into your team? why did his paper front of a soul leap at the idea?
emotions he’d never felt filled his chest, heat and warmth and icy frost pooling in his veins.
“50,” you called, voice alarmingly gentle in his ear. “please, scara, please?”
he should be proud to have a god so high begging for him. he should cross his arms and puff out his chest, he should smirk and glare with a comment about how even the divine can fall.
he was one of them.
“60,” you whispered, flaring the boil in his chest.
what did he do? what could he do? how did he get out of here? why didn’t he want to? what were you doing to him? what were these feelings? why did he never want them to fade?
“70. please? pretty please?”
he felt himself lurch as the star passed but gripped desperately to the invisible air around him, wide eyes searching for a way out. it was all clouds and stars, as far as he could see, with vague shapes slowly coming into focus around him. he saw something that he thought would direct your attention elsewhere, then realized it would take your gaze off him would only be temporary and saved his energy.
“80. come on, scara.. i promise i’ll be nice.”
nice? he wanted to laugh. he would have if he wasn’t so short on breath already- and yet somehow still lightheaded, his vision swimming as his fingers began to buzz. he could feel it, the invisible rope around his chest pulling as the purple stars whizzed by, and yet he held firm in his place amongst the clouds. he couldn’t answer you he wouldn’t be able to stay composed. he wouldn’t allow himself to be put under another’s jurisdiction again but he knew you were different, you were warm and soft and so different from her.
you would not have him yet.
you were not his god you were his true creator.
you laughed. he hated loved that it was edged with bitterness.
“damn. making me go to the shop again, huh?”
he wanted to apologize tell you it was a lost cause.
“well scara… 4 more wishes. i know it’s useless but… please?”
one.
the pull knocked the wind out of him, his treacherous to who? hands faltering their grip on the walls around him. in the blue light of the stars, he knew he was flushed with exertion.
he could feel it, the chance he was given. the choice to stay, to hear your voice falter and slip and plea, or to go. to answer the string pulling at his heart of glass, to trust and hope that you wouldn’t betray him like so many before.
two.
did he dare believe you? did he dare to trust the only one he could another god, to put his cracked trust in your palms and hope you wouldn’t drop it? did he go against his rules, did he follow the reputation he had built up, did he cling to the clouds before crashing down in regret his office?
who knew if you could be trusted? if he went, you’d have two harbingers under your thumb. what if you wanted to topple the fatui? what if this was a ploy to get him to trust you? what if you didn’t treat him like you did childe or any of the others, what if you wanted him to laugh and scorn and taunt? what if you wanted him just to see him try and pick himself off the floor where he landed, expecting nothing and yet still disappointed?
what if you wanted him for him?
three.
enveloped in gold, the wanderer could only wish that you would catch him.
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docnukes · 1 year
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bird-inacage · 2 years
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Besotted Little Shit: Oh no this is bad. It’s over for me. There’s no going back. I’m already in too deep. I’m a lost cause. Nothing and no one can save me now. What have I become? Why am I like this?
Boy is finally coming to terms with the severity of his Sky sickness, which is notoriously incurable. We’re already ten steps ahead of you Prapai, and the symptoms are potent.
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blow-me-a-kis · 1 year
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The way ppl flew into tantrums over the suggestion some fans might not like Stede confirms for me that those folks really don't think that deeply or often about other characters outside Ed/Stede
If during any rewatches you stepped into the shoes of Roach, Oluwande, Jim or Lucius or any of Stede's crew and considered their background, opinions, feelings and their relationships to other characters, including Stede, it would not be a surprise at all to learn some folks don't like Stede
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gemstarstarlight · 1 day
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I love that in the canon flashbacks we first see Pinocchio and Ylfa's stories and how the adults around them failed and manipulated them into doing horrible things and those experiences traumatized them deeply and then the next story is Gerard just being incredibly pathetic in a pond. Peak storytelling, 10/10 no notes
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teasel-backatitagain · 3 months
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Thinking about her (Karina Braun)
#I do not like her in the slightest#But also want to explore Reiners feelings toward her post rumbling#Her 'oh yes i only want my son' bullshit is not flying with me (nor is it flying with jean AHAHAHAH)#Karina used Reiner as a tool to further her own desires#Putting a clear expiration date on her only son as the ripe age of ten#She sees him coming back from his trip to hell depressed suicidal self harming and does not care lol#She also gladly pushes gabby toward the same fate (and we know how Reiner feels about Gabby)#So yes propaganda propaganda but goddamn the amount of damages she caused her only son (a literal CHILD)#Reiner is somewhat aware of all that but feels conflicted about it and might kind of push it away#Cause god he has already lost so much#She would have AT BEST troubles reckoning with the full extend of it and properly atone for it#And at worst be a nasty bitch about it and straight up refuse to admit anything but still insists on having a relationship with her son#Idk man wherever she ends up falling on that spectrum Reiner is in for a fun time#(cause i do think he'd want some sort of relationship with her)#(also i think she wouldn't be fully on board with her son kissing devil men (yes jean) on the mouth so that's a problem to add to the list)#Interested about how jean would fit in all of that cause of course he'd be there every step of the way#(they're in love your honor there is just a chance they don't know it yet)#Between his mom being so not karina#his foul mouth#big heart and burning desire to prevent reiner from being trampled yet again#That would make for some fun discussions#So much possibilities... the juices are jussing#do i have the braincells to discuss all this with the nuance it deserves at this ungodly hour? no#hopefully at some point i will#reinjean adjacent#rambling
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grinchwrapsupreme · 2 years
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bbqhooligan · 2 months
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through all of it, after all of it, ill still be mulling over Bella Swan. unlike other parts of smeyers writing where the glaring issues take the front seat to parts that are well written or interesting, bella remains special to me. genuinely worlds most boring girl, meant to be a mormon self insert but her humanity fleshes out so nicely its hard not to think this is an interesting character who is stuck in a bad premise. i dont know if many fanfics have it in them to do her justice but i be Wondering.
#mypost#bella swan#twilight#kristen stewart as bella swan in 2008 was my first love yknow.#like shes only ''not like the other girls'' because the narrative compares her to ''Bitch Women'' like jessica or rose#shes only ''cringe love triangle thirst trap'' because narrative has jacob playing this disgusting ass role#shes only ending up in this cheesy happy ever after vampirism because the mormon writing#but what of the girl.#if smeyer had been more self aware and less religious we could truly explore that. what OF the girl?#like edward or jacob or vampirism and the plot ALL need huge reworks. their intrigue is weaker than their problems#but with bella... idk am i biased i always just her as a fellow abusive family teen. traumatized. coping mechanisms to hell and back#she isnt depressed -at first- but shes. emotionally frozen. carefully frozen. and shy and self conscious and...#scared in these ways that make me think renee was as strong in her negative feelings as she was with her positive ones#god shes just a. really beaten down girl who looks strong. who longs for a family and escape escape escape ESCAPE ESCAPE#she longs to be precious and loved deeply DEEP enough to penetrate her thick skin deep enough it warms her carefully frozen self#its so sad. how badly she needs assurance. renee sucks. charlie an emotionally constipated divorcee. and a fuckin. MAN.#bella needs edwards intense ''mate'' connection. because shes so alone. she needs to hear she will be ONE persons priority. forever.#and its god its so sad#i looked over some fics. ''bella swan with a back bone'' and ''bella swan is a self insert'' are the ovherwhelming majority#but of the girl... im tearing up thinking about my girl.. its ok bella... it gets better.....#she was just in high school. like sweetheart it will get better it will get better it will get better. god im#tearing up about bella swan in the club tonight. she was just 17. she couldnt have been in the club but should have been.
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subconsciousmysteries · 3 months
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Men are absolutely losing it because women are seeing through their bullshit and I'm here to watch their collective narcissistic meltdown
#I understand anti feminists because feminism is a CIA funded plant that dug its own grave in regards to the trans stuff#I understand anti fems until they start saying we need to feel compassion for incels lol#I can tell these anti feminist women have never got stuck with a narcissist / borderline personality man before#The only way you can deal with a Cluster B is shut them down like the animal they are.#No sympathy no compassion... Their entire pathology is about exploiting your compassion to get you to enable their evil.#They are demonically possessed individuals#Even if you don't believe in that stuff... If you've dealt with one before and processed it... you know there's no fixing them#You can't love incels out of hating women#They have a deep-seated womb envy that transcends feminism or anything to do with the modern times#Coddling them literally makes it worse#See if the population understood enneagram things would be much easier lol#4s (incels) need to get they ass whooped by some harsh eugenic 1-ness#You cannot love them out of being hateful#And 2s (gender conforming women) need to grow some self awareness and understand that they keep themselves trapped in the “feminine role”#It's not muh social conditioning muh patriarchy keeping women sympathizing with gross men#It is our own 2-ish hubris#I need to write a book about gender dynamics inspired by enneagram 2 cuz this understanding is so so lacking in our culture#When you try to “fix” a broken man you are trying to impose your will on him and establish power over him.#It's absolutely not about you being a poor little innocent victim of patriarchy even though that's what you become when it backfires on you#Speaking as a 2-ish woman who has learned the hard way you can't fix broken hateful men
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tortoisesshells · 3 months
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65.
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tovaicas · 4 months
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recent dev comments got me malding I'm sorry
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oversizedbats · 8 months
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Often times at work when I am the only woman in the room I question my decision to go into a male dominated field. Then I remember if I went into a female dominated field, like I wanted to, I literally wouldn’t make enough money to survive.
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poohbea · 11 months
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I find it funny how my dad complains I’m hella argumentative and always gotta be right, like WHERE YOU THINK I GOT IT FROM NIGGA?? You looking in the fuckin’ mirror rn.
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seek--rest · 9 months
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Every time I see you reblog a Tomdayer it trips me out cause I feel like you’re always at them 😭
ajfeiawofaewj listen i don't keep track of usernames i see good shit and i reblog it. 98% of the tomdaya fandom freaks me the tf out (why the fuck does a relationship between real ass people have a fandom that's just weird as hell to me much less coming from grown ass people but whatever that's what blocking is for) but even a broken clock is right twice a day and the unfortunate part of it is that if you want to get some Actual Celebrity News about either of them, the price is having to ignore the weird as fuck creepy shit that people post about them.
Most of it I can't handle but the ones that don't make me wanna vomit, I just close my eyes and ignore that nonsense.
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