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centrally-unplanned · 3 years

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The Liminal 90's of River's Edge

River’s Edge, a 1993 josei manga by Kyoko Okazaki, is something I picked up primarily due to hearing through the ‘net-vine of its influence on FLCL. Which is clearly there – adrift teens smoking on a bridge?

A smog-belching factory defining the grim normality of the town they live in, whose purpose is commented on to be unknown to the characters?

FLCL is a hodgepodge of cultural symbols and River’s Edge certainly part of the, uh, hodge. The parallels end there though – River’s Edge is *peak* josei in that it is utterly engulfed in the edgy drama of its high school protagonists. There is no way around the fact that this just isn’t a very good story, when it has plotlines such as boyfriend of Haruna, the main character:

1: cheating on her with her close friend,

2: which they do while doing hard drugs together,

3: resulting her getting knocked up,

4: which her hikikomori sister finds out via reading her diary (the 90’s!)

5: prompting them to get into a *knife fight*, the wounds of which abort the baby

And that is the most tame of these plotlines, trust me. By the time the gay character’s fake-but-she-doesn’t-know-it girlfriend *immolates herself* for attention you are willing to flee to the nearest monastic order to just chill out for life. This manga is 14 chapters y’all, you can finish it in under an hour, there is not enough character screen time to justify this level of drama. Its a classic early-adolescent fiction problem; your first time hearing about sex and death is so cool! So *real*! But once the novelty wears off there are no characters underneath, the shock is a magician’s misdirect so you don’t notice the hollowness behind the curtain.

We also forget how much the digital revolution has changed art in fast-paced, low-cost genres like manga by allowing consistency and polish; Okazaki is an accomplished, well known mangaka and some of these panels are so messy and detail-less:

Which isn’t a criticism per se as this was what the genre looked like at the time, and much of the art is great, but it's just to say overall this isn't a visuals-first affair. It relies on writing that just doesn’t deliver.

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At least most of the time, because in its overwhelmingly maudlin current are ripples of some really good moments. My standout is when the narrator voice goes poetic, setting up a repeated motif:

Even as it is a bit cheesy this motif still spoke to me, the “flat battlefield”, the power of that phrase the story imbued into it. A fight with no contours to its course, no metrics to measure victory by? You don’t need to experience a knife-fight abortion to get that struggle, my daily mundane life is that (obliquely, through a certain lens at a certain time when the mood is just right/wrong). That is the universal feeling of ennui and social displacement these kinds of stories aim to have empathy for, and that the rest of this story failed to achieve. And credit where it is due – main girl Haruna, who narrates this and through whose eyes most of this story happens, doesn’t really have much drama at all in comparison to her peers. While they do insane shit she just watches and helps where she can from the sidelines, defined by her listlessness as opposed to everyone else’s tragedy. The flat battlefield is exactly the kind of pain someone like Haruna would feel – this arc works.

From the social critic lens, what I think is more notable about this story is what it does not contain. Its universal aspirations are betrayed by how utterly of its time it is. River’s Edge falls into the edgy-punk sphere, but original punk was defined by its targets - The Man, The Establishment, the polluted cityscapes and imprisoned activists, Thatcher’s & Reagan’s right wing triumphalism, original punk knew what it stood against. In the post cold-war, mass-culture era of the 90’s, however, the appeal of those causes faded – how could things so distant and so temporal be the cause of such deep personal ills? It's often said that Japan predicts America’s cultural movements ten years out, but in this case it was right on time – 1993’s River’s Edge flows neatly alongside the 90’s American counterculture void.

But we no longer live in those liminal 90’s, that void between the intensity of the 60’s+ social revolution and today – we now have causes, but they are, ahem, as personal as they are political. Sad edgy teens are no longer sad or edgy – they instead fall somewhere on the Depressed/Oppressed axis, their condition diagnosed. Alienation is now a mental health issue (with treatments, certainly always effective yep yep, criminally underfunded and denied to those who need them), gay teens struggle for acceptance as a political cause. Even if the problems are inwardly focused, the solution can be translocated outward – change media, change language, change executive leadership, only then can the struggle be resolved. It’s the grand cycle of history – the teen edginess is activist again, even if the targets are wildly different.

River’s Edge never mentions the word ‘depression’. No one mentions therapy, or acceptance, or really any solution to their various problems - the problems are experienced internally but exist externally, a world broken only by a vague sense of ‘modernity’, if anything at all. The language in which this state of mind is discussed is now antiquated, a sort of radical acceptance of hopelessness as the natural state of man. Its aspirations to universalism have already been left in the dust of the changing times, an ill-fitting, out-of-fashion way of thinking even as Depression Fics dominates its former niche.

Which is why this otherwise-silly story still spoke to me, as I still resonate with that way of thinking more than anything else in vogue. I keep being told something is out there, but all I ever see is an endless horizon - and I am glad to once again share the view.

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Anyway, happy 30th anniversary to Smells Like Teen Spirit!

#River's Edge #essay #I don't read too much manga but I do aspire to change that #this probably ranks an 8 on the 'insufferable writing' scale but I had fun with it regardless #90's nihilism

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walpurga-nacht-academy · 3 years

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“Any practitioner of magic that’s received even a modicum of training in the field has, at one point or another, heard of the term ‘grimoire’. Its origins are shrouded in mystery, its purpose unknown and the power that it possesses inestimable. However, their prevalence is also fading.

As magic studies become more and more accessible to mages of all walks of life, it is considered futile for witches and warlocks to keep personal tomes of spells and hexes anymore. The uniformization of magical practice has brought about an age in which collaboration between our kind is considered not only beneficial, but also ideal. The practice of taking apprentices is no longer an individual choice that each magician makes for themselves, and thus the need for secrecy - the fear of others invading our most personal matters and thus robbing us of our knowledge has become quite absurd.

Nowadays, grimoires have started to gain a reputation as old-fashioned magical tools, relics of the past or tools of forbidden lore. Less than 200 remain still, collected by the Ministry of Magic’s illustrious archivists and kept in many museums across Twisted Wonderland for easy access to those that seek to expand their knowledge. Yet despite their heavy efforts many of these crucial tomes fall prey to the passage of them, deteriorating as their magic fades away. Preventing the loss of these books is quintessential, if not for us, then for future generations. Thus, many countries have launched conservation projects in order to salvage what is left of our inheritance.

It is due to these projects that my own efforts have not been in vain. For years I have searched all over the world to recover and preserve the eight grimoires which had once belonged to the eight great witches of the Bald Mountain, figures shrouded in such mystery that these books are considered the only valid proof of their existence. They are thick volumes, averaging about 1,000 pages each, something quite unusual for that period, and written in codes and foreign languages that have long passed into obscurity. Translating them required intensive work and research, and even so I was able to conquer only sixty percent of the original text. The rest will be lost to history, I am afraid to say, for there are few people able to interpret the original dialects and signs of these spellbooks.

I hope that in the future there might be somebody more courageous and ingenious than me, who will decipher these tomes in their entirety. There is precious knowledge to be learned from these pages, power that has been lost over time, and power that might help the future. It is thus my request that for every person who reads this book detailing the journey I have taken since I decided fourteen years ago that I must resolve this mystery and prevent it from slipping through the cracks of progress, that you think to dedicate a little bit of time and money to the eminent researchers that still struggle to maintain their memories alive.

In this regard, I would like to dedicate this book to the many people and organizations that have made possible the publication of this volume. First, there is of course the Magical Research Board, The Ministry of Magic and the Magic University who have kindly and dutifully supported me financially. The research grant that they have awarded me with has helped me carry my investigation through several countries, as well as access resources that would have been otherwise impossible for me to make use of.

I would also like to express my gratitude towards the ruling families of the Afterglow Savannah and the Valley of Thorns, for their generosity in allowing me to study the history of their kingdoms in order to better understand the social and political dimensions to two of the witches’ that are said to hail from these places.

I would also like to thank all the translators and historians that have taken time out of their busy schedules to help with my manuscripts - pointing out translation errors, mistakes regarding historical dates and events, or even my continuous use of the word “mystery” of which I am guilty even in my opening chapter I must sadly admit! Thus, I would like to mention among many Miss Line, and her lovely daughter Safia, whose generosity saved my life when I was to drown at sea;

my Lord Duban of the Land of Hot Sands, who enchanted me with tales of viziers and street rats who court princesses;

Nefu, whose knowledge of the low town in the Savannah rivals none, I am sure of that;

Lord Himalia of the Land of Pyroxene whose heart is as great as the acres of land he owns;

old, wise Louisa who welcomed me in her hut before her beloved Cockatrice managed to tear me to shreds;

my dear friend Daphne, whose courage is greater than even the rage of a Kerberos breed when it sees its owner attacked;

Thursday, who proved to the world that despite their short stature dwarves should not be taken lightly after all;

and General Vanrouge, whose skill with the sword is as unmatched as the knowledge he possesses. To all of them, I would like to express my sincerest, heartfelt gratitude for the help they have given me. It is truly unmistakable that good friends are more valuable than a thousand golden statues!

Though they are departed, I wish to thank my parents as well, for having instilled in me such good morals and values. I am eternally grateful to all your guidance and love, and hope that you rest safely above in the sky.

Last, but not least, I would like to thank my dearest Alkin, who is first among familiars and friends alike. His companionship and experience has proven to be invaluable to me during my travels, and there are no words to express the warmth with which I regard my beloved brother.”

- Introduction to Of Grimoires and Pledges: A Study of Eight Texts that Shaped Our Understanding of Modern Magic

Grimoire of the Rose

In the sea I used to be a poet.

You do not believe me. That is alright. I understand. My speech is stilted. My pauses are long. My mind, once sharp and swift as the marlin’s gait, now always searches its corners for words that came easily before. I have forgotten them all now. I glance around with wild eyes. The vastness around us scares me.

You think, ‘Ah, this woman is not well.’ And perhaps you are right.

You think, ‘She must have suffered greatly.’ That is not so.

Please do not pity me. I do not deserve it.

As all fools I’ve made peace with myself.

As all wise men I wish to warn others.

Forgive me. Speaking in your tongue is hard for me. But please bear it. I would like to tell you my story. It is not long or sad. Just short and silly. You will surely laugh as you read it. That is alright. I wish you would laugh. It eases my soul when I hear others laugh. It reminds me of the ocean.

But I wish to tell you my story. Please listen.

It starts with a beautiful princess born in a wealthy kingdom.

No, that princess is not me. I was born on the shore, among the sand and shells, under the great night sky. I have never seen a palace, nor worn a gown. I have heard that they are beautiful. Princesses wear them at balls, with golden slippers and dance away the night. This princess must have worn one too. She must have been very beautiful. And loved. All beautiful women are loved.

No, I do not know what made her beautiful. I have never seen her. But I like to imagine it must have been so. It helps me rest.

As I said, my story starts with a princess born in a wealthy kingdom. She was her father’s only child, a sweet, delicate girl with fair hair and golden eyes.

Yes, I am lying now. For I never laid eyes on her. I say these things because it helps me rest.

I am repeating myself? Forgive me. Your tongue is difficult for me. I wish to tell you my story. Will you listen?

My story starts with a beautiful child, born to a widowed king, who paid three gold pieces to the undertaker to build a temple over his wife’s grave, where he went to pray every evening. I do not know why humans built temples. My kind does not.

I have asked him, but he did not know either.

He loved her too. They all did. She was beautiful. All beautiful women are loved. I was loved too. I was beautiful too.

My story starts with the birth of a beautiful child, whose father built a temple ashore the land where my mother had borne me. It was the darkest night she had ever seen, and the stars shone bright. My mother cried as I came out, small and pink and weeping. I was so small I fit in her arms with ease. She was frightened I would die of cold. She bundled me up and ran to the sea.

You think it’s strange. That is alright. Forgive me. I will explain.

My mother ran with me to the sea, for my father was giving chase. She reached the waters before he had a chance to grab her. That is as well. For if he did, he would have pulled my mother’s skin away.

Yes, my father loved my mother. All men love us. They cannot help it. It is their sin.

He found her upon the beach and took her to his hut and made her his wife. She bore him sons, I don’t know how many for I never asked, and then me. My father’s world came crashing down upon him. My mother wept with joy. When I came she knew Mother Sea would welcome her back. She bore me upon the shore so that Mother would bear witness.

When mother’s feet touched the water, she had already been gone. I do not know if my father followed. I think he must have not. Mother Sea does not welcome his kind. You cannot breathe when Mother holds you. That is very pitiful.

Forgive me. Your tongue is difficult.

There are no men among us. It is only us and Mother. She loves us deeply and we love her. And the men that Mother hates also love us. It is a difficult love. No, I do not know if we love the men too. We must love them. We swim every year to the shore to take our skin off and be like them - the human women that they love. And they love us too. Because we are more beautiful than their women.

Forgive me.

They love us, and they desire us. They take our skins and bring us to their sheds and take us in their beds. We bear them sons and mend their clothes and curse the land we live on and love them dearly. We cannot help but love them. No, it is not love. It is love. Your tongue is very difficult.

We love them and we love them. We must, for Mother no longer loves us when we love the men. She does not recognize us anymore. She cannot hold us when she doesn’t know who we are. She is frightened of us then. So we love the men because we cannot love Mother anymore. We miss Mother. But she doesn’t miss us.

It is very pitiful.

When we are human we cannot love Mother, so we wait for daughters to be born so she will love us again. No, only daughters. Never sons. Mother does not love our sons. They cannot see or hear Mother. But daughters - us - we can. I heard Mother before I had been born. She sang to me of the sea foam, and the waves and of my mother’s skin and where my father hid it. I told my mother this. She dug the chest buried underneath the juniper tree with her bare hands as I sang to her. She was crying because she heard Mother’s voice in mine.

I do not know what happened to my father. I have never returned to that shore. I have never met my brothers. I do not wish to. Mother does not either. She told me to be careful. She held me to her breast as we watched the angelfish, and told me to never go to the land of men and take off my skin. She told me to keep away.

But it was a waste. She knew this. We must go to the shore every year. We must take off our skin.

My mother did so the next year as well. I never saw her again. She must have been found by another man. That is as well. I would soon follow in her footsteps.

My story starts with the birth of a fair child, beloved by all, and especially by the young poet who wished to marry her. He was a handsome man, but he was poor. This is unfortunate in your land. Forgive me.

Why did he love the princess? Because she was beautiful. All beautiful women are loved.

Yes, all beautiful things must be loved.

Why?

Because they are beautiful. That is all.

The poet loved this princess because she was beautiful, but she did not love him because he was poor. It is a pitiful thing.

Yes, I loved the poet too. Because he was beautiful. No, I did not love him. I loved him. Your tongue is very difficult.

I wish you could understand.

He did not understand either. Though he was a poet. It was odd. He told me he could not hear me sing when I spoke, and did not hear me speak when I sang. But Mother hears us. She hears me and my sisters as we sing-speak and speak-sing to her. Only Mother can hear us.

But still I loved him.

Yes. No, I did not love him. Please understand.

I sang to him under the night sky and he kissed my lips. I spoke to him about love and he kissed my cheeks. He loved me on the shore until dawn. No, it was love, not love. Forgive me.

When Mother released the sun from her hold, he kissed my eyelids. He had beautiful lips. I loved them dearly. He was a beautiful man. All beautiful things must be loved.

He did not take me for his wife. He loved the princess.

‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘Forgive me,’ he said.

I am repeating myself. Please understand.

‘You are taking my skin,’ I told him. ‘You are taking my skin. What will I do without my skin? Mother won’t take me back without my skin.’

‘Forgive me.’

He spoke so sweetly. Do you understand? All beautiful things must be loved.

‘The princess of this land - I love her dearly. I wish to marry her. But I am poor. I am not worthy. I wish to be worthy. The princess - she wishes for a coat more beautiful than the sunrise. I have searched this land - from the mountain to the sea, from the fields to the hills, but I have not found a coat more beautiful than yours.’

‘I cannot give you my skin,’ I told him. ‘You must take me as your wife. I cannot give you my skin for another. I must have my skin to return to Mother.’

‘Forgive me,’ he said. He kissed my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids - and then he was gone. He took my skin to the princess. She loved it dearly. She loved him dearly. They were to be married within the year. She wore my skin as her veil. It was a beautiful veil. It was a beautiful wedding.

All beautiful things must be loved.

I gave chase. Yes, I did. I followed after him - my husband.

I called to him. But he did not stop.

I wept for him. But his heart did not yield.

I wept for Mother. But she could not hear me.

I wept for our Master. He said I was a fool to trust the word of man. He thundered. He roared. He drove me away with arrows made of fire and spiteful words. He did not care. He did not listen.

Please listen.

I wish to tell you my story.

There was once a child born upon the land where a temple was built with just three gold coins. This child was so beautiful that when she spoke, the birds would listen to hear her song. When she danced, the ground would soften underneath her feet so no harm would come upon her. When she smiled, the sun bowed so it would not deter from her beauty.

He loved her. She scorned him. He was poor. It is a pitiful thing.

I loved him. He loved her. I loved him and loved him.

Your tongue - forgive me.

She came to me upon the shore.

All beautiful things must be loved.

My husband - he left me upon the shore. He took my skin and left. He loved the princess. I loved him.

I wanted to return to Mother. But Mother did not love me anymore. She did not hold me. She could not hold me. I wept. Mother’s arms - they seemed to wrap around my throat. I could not breathe.

She came to me upon the shore. My Lady.

My sisters - they tore away their skin. A leg, an arm, a breast, an ear - they had sewn it all together. They gave the coat to me. They said Mother would hold me now.

She did not. She could not.

I loved Mother. I loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved and loved Her.

She could not love me. He did not love me. She did not love him.

They were to be married within the year.

It was a beautiful wedding.

It was a beautiful veil.

‘My skin,’ I said. ‘My skin, my skin, my skin - You must take me as your wife.’

‘I do not love you.’

‘You must. Mother does not love me anymore. You must.’

His roots went deep. They touched her mother’s grave. They touched my mother’s grave.

He loved her. She loved him. No, not love. Love.

Please understand.

All men love us. It is their sin. We must love them too, when Mother no longer loves us.

Please understand.

‘My child, my rose,’ she spoke. Her eyes were so sweet. I wept. She kissed my eyelids. She kissed my tears. All beautiful things must be loved.

I loved him. I let him bloom. I gave him light. I gave him water. I fetched it every day from the well and watched him grow. My husband.

It was a beautiful wedding.

‘My child, my rose, my sweetest heart.’

She held me. Mother could not hold me. She held me and kissed me and loved me.

Your tongue is very difficult.

‘I do not love you,’ my husband lied. ‘I cannot love you. I do not want to love you. Please understand.’

All men love us. It is their sin.

It was a beautiful veil.

Forgive me.

I am repeating myself.

Forgive me.

They take us from the shore into their huts and into their beds. We bear them children and mend their clothes and curse the land we live on and love them dearly. And wait for daughters to be born.

Every year he gave me blossoms. I crushed them underneath my feet. He fed on my blood.

I loved him. And I loved her. And I loved Mother. And I loved her.

‘My child,’ she kissed me. ‘My rose,’ she kissed me. ‘My sweetest heart,’ she kissed me.

I sheath myself in wicked thorns and sing of my Lady’s love.

Please listen. Please understand.

My mother’s grave. Her mother’s grave.

He took her into his hut and into his bed. He took her into the garden and stripped her of her skin. He hid it underneath the juniper tree where mother heard me sing.

All men must love us. It is their sin.

She was a beautiful child. He was a dutiful king. He paid three gold pieces for the temple. It was made of stone and wood and the bed inside it was warm.

They take us from the shore and into their beds.

I loved him. He died in spring. I burned him. I kissed the ashes.

Mother would not listen.

Mother could not understand.

It was a beautiful veil.

Forgive me.

Your tongue is very difficult.

I wish to tell you my story.

Please listen.

Notes

“Translating this introductory part of the grimoire has proven to be by far the easiest part of my endeavour, as there has not been much to translate at all. It seems that unlike her sisters, the Witch of the Rose wrote in the common tongue of that time, which fortunately for me is not very different from our current one. Line tells me this might be because the language of the selkie has no written form. In fact, its complexity is so great, no written form could properly capture its beauty.

It is an interesting notion to me, a student with meagre interest in languages, at the very least before I become employed in this project. There is no proper way to prove this, however, as according to what Line tells me, she can barely remember even the few things she picked up from her grandmother. It is so with every selkie that lives on land for too long - slowly they forget the tongue of Mother Sea (an ancient pagan deity, I believe) and learn the tongue of their husbands. Line herself seems to remember mostly old songs that she teaches to little Safia too so she can remember her ancestors even a little. She tells me they are the last ones.

Line’s great-great-grandmother was taken from the sea by her husband as well - a practice which was considered normal back in the day - and as she never managed to have any daughters was forced to live the rest of her life on this foreign land. She tells me this story with a sort of melancholic detachment as she brushes her daughter’s long, golden hair. This is standard for their species it seems - all daughters have golden hair and golden eyes which makes them look terrible and inviting to the men that come across them.

Line also tells me that the selkie language has over 34 words to express ‘love’. She says that the witch must have been trying to capture them all as she wrote down her confession, but she can only remember a few of the ones her grandmother taught her. Thus, there is ‘love gleaned from above the sea foam’, ‘love that is realized by the stroke of midnight’, ‘love which blooms only at the wake of dawn’, ‘love which burns one as they feel it’ which is different from ‘love that scorches one as they let go of it’. She does not know the word for the love felt for one’s husband, but she tells me that the love for one’s daughter is translated as ‘love for a budding flower which blooms on the bottom of the ocean’.

She tells me all this with a mournful look - the expression of a woman who knows that when she passes there will be a little less of her legacy left. The grimoire that I show her has a shell accessory on the cover that when opened produces the most beautiful melody in the world. When I showed Line this she started weeping and once she calmed down she explained that it was the same song that her grandmother used to sing when she was little. I believe it must be an old folk song, though she cannot confirm it for me, since she admits that there are barely any words that she recognizes. Though she can tell with some certainty that it is a song of forgiveness - that the witch is begging her mother to welcome her back to the sea. Little Safia listened to the song as well, but I could tell that beyond the soothing melody nothing stuck out to her at all. It broke Line’s heart.

I stayed there for almost two months learning what I could about the selkie. It did Line good too since she felt that even if she were to die, little Safia and her children would not be robbed of her heritage. I was touched by this sentiment - so much that I swore that once I have finished my business collecting and translating the grimoires I would make sure to amass in one volume the entirety of Line’s teachings during the time they graciously let me stay there.”

- Of Grimoires and Pledges: A Study of Eight Texts that Shaped Our Understanding of Modern Magic

“It has now been more than ten years since I have made that promise, which I have managed to keep after all. If you were to look in any library right now, dear reader, you might spy tucked away in one of the shelves a little book of no more than 100 pages, more than half filled with illustrations and drawings, while the other half is full of songs and poems and little phrases that Line shared with me as we sat huddled around the fire at night. I’ve been told it is a commercial failure - that nobody but the most dedicated anthropologists give it more than a glance. But it does not matter to me. It took four years for the 100 copies to sell. I have recently ordered 100 more.

To others these books might be nothing more than curiosities, oddities, a change of reading material - but it is not so. Not in the slightest. These are the words and experiences of a woman whose ancestry has been erased almost entirely and plunged into obscurity. By no means can I simply let her life or history be disregarded in such a manner. Especially now since I am the only one left fighting.

It was two years after I departed from Line’s house that I received a letter from the young lord who oversaw the village she lived in. I was in the midst of a lesson with Old Woman Louisa when I was informed that due to a tragic accident little Safia lost her life at sea, followed three months later by her mother who died of grief. I was left numb by the news - barely registering it at all and inconsolable for weeks after. I had to leave Louisa’s abode as my mourning made the beasts under her care uneasy, and with no goal in mind simply proceeded forward to the Isle of Lamentation. A fitting spot to vent my grief.

I have had the good mind to send the young lord a letter asking him to keep the hut in which they lived in good condition, and returned there two years after my travels ended. It is now a museum, my dear reader, dedicated to Line, Safia and all the women who suffered at the hands of their destiny by being taken from their home to live on these strange lands. The last that will even suffer this destiny, for Line and Safia’s deaths did not mark merely the loss of two great souls and hearts from the world, but also the loss of an entire species. There are no more selkie that roam the ocean, and if there are any on land they must have long forgotten they even were.

To them I wish to dedicate this small volume that I have compiled, relying on the memory of the most wonderful woman I have ever met in my life, and the innocence of the sweetest little girl that I have had the good fortune of knowing.

May their souls rest among the stars, free of pain and suffering, curled in Mother Sea’s bosom.”

- Songs of Mother Sea: A Short Guide to the History of Selkie Culture Through Poems and Music

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #astra selene #witch of the rose #selkie #twist #twisute #twist oc #twisute oc #fanmade lore #twisted wonderland fanschool #walpurga nacht academy #the little mermaid #postmodern fairytale #fractured fairytale

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olivish · 3 years

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Some thoughts about Melanie Cavill and her beautiful mind.

I agree with others that Mel is neurodivergent/ autistic. I think this helps explain her passion and focus, and also why, in S1, she was so adept at “putting on a mask” and pretending to be someone else. Basically, I think she had been masking in some way or another her entire life, so when the time came to create the “Hospitality Melanie” persona, it was already second nature.

I think this also explains why it took Melanie so long to see Wilford for the monster he is, and why he was able to control/ manipulate her for most of her life, despite her superior intelligence. On that note, here are some of my MC HCs (I hope it goes without saying, I don’t mean to imply that anything described below is necessarily an “autistic” trait. This is simply how I imagine Melanie the person, who also happens to have autism.)

1. Before meeting Wilford, Melanie struggled to find her place in the world. She dropped out of high school because she was bored with the lessons and couldn’t be bothered to complete assignments. She had no friends, and most adults wrote her off as a trouble-maker.

Her family was poor, so she “borrowed” things they needed for the farm (some of them rather LARGE things), which earned her a juvenile record for theft.

2. Because of this, Melanie believed she’d never go to college. That was fine, she thought, she wouldn’t fit in there. She didn’t fit in anywhere. The only person who didn’t make her feel like a misfit was her father, John Cavill, who was a patient man who loved farming, and who taught his daughter everything he knew about the trade.

It wasn’t long, however, before John ran out of knowledge to share. Melanie was 8 when her father took her to the local library. “So,” he said. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

From that moment on, John watched his daughter surpass him in every subject, every field of study. It was hard, not because he was prideful, but because it felt like he was losing her. But not completely. At least, not yet.

Because for years after that, Melanie would seek her father out, and she’d talk at length about the topics that interested her, and he listened, enjoying her company, even after he ceased to understand a single word that came out of her mouth.

I mean that literally.

“Certains nématodes posent problème en agriculture parce qu'ils parasites des plantes ou des animaux d'élevage, mais la plupart stimulent la croissance en améliorant le cycle des nutriments.” “Mellie.” “Oui, papa?” “You’re speaking French again.” “Oh. Sorry.”

3. Melanie’s mother was a different story. Shanon Cavill, nee Shanon O’Connell, was stern, intelligent and, due to an undiagnosed mood disorder, emotionally unstable. She’d lose her temper at the drop of a hat, and although she loved her daughter, she didn’t understand her. Shanon didn’t understand why someone so brilliant was throwing her life away. Dropping out of school, getting arrested, fooling around with boys, and girls, who didn’t care about her, and who only got her into trouble.

Shanon said many words in the heat of many moments that she could never take back. Foolish. Reckless. Lazy. Quitter.

The day Joseph Wilford showed up at the farm looking for Melanie, Shanon peered at him through the porch screen door. “Did she steal something from you?” she asked. “Because whatever it is, we can’t pay you back, so you’d best just leave before I let the dogs out.”

Looking back, Wilford deeply regrets not heeding the lady Cavill’s advice.

4. Melanie saw Wilford as her missing piece. Melanie always knew she was “bad with people”. To her, human beings were confounding black boxes. INPUT > [???] > UNEXPECTED RESULT, USUALLY BAD.

But Wilford. Joseph Wilford was a social magician! She watched in awe. Everyone adored him. He’d tell a joke and everyone laughed. Anything they needed for their work - funding, IP rights, permits, materials, labor - he procured through sheer force of charisma.

He was just like her, except he had that one missing piece.

It was the apparent gap in their interpersonal skills that led Melanie to conclude that she could never be a leader like him. That’s why she allowed Wilford to take credit for her work, why she believed him when he said it was better for all involved if she remained a ‘silent partner.’

That’s also why she never tried to run Snowpiercer as herself. Despite having all the skills, Melanie couldn’t imagine anyone would follow her leadership.

(I think she was wrong about that...)

5. It was Wilford who sent Melanie to college, and it was Wilford who coached her on how to “mask.” As a sociopath, nearly all of Wilford’s social interactions are theatre. They have to be. So when he met Melanie, he immediately saw what her problem was - the silly girl wasn’t acting!

So he sat her down one day and gave her a gift. “A chess game?” she said.

“Not a game. This box contains the secret to the universe.”

She smiled, but he was serious. As Wilford set up the pieces he explained, “This is the whole world. Every type of person you’ll ever meet is here. Pawns, knights, bishops. They all have their rules, their own little scripts. The trick is, figure them out, while revealing nothing about yourself.”

She didn’t understand, but in time, she would. Wilford taught her how to survive, but not as herself. He taught her to hide, to blend in, and to trust nobody but him.

And it worked, to a certain extent. Melanie earned degrees from MIT and Yale, graduating with the highest honors, lauded as a prodigy. A recruiter from NASA asked if she’d be interested in applying for the astronaut program. Elon Musk asked the same thing, but he offered more money.

Melanie could have worked anywhere. Done anything. But she went back to Wilford, partly out of loyalty, and partly because she believed he was the only person in the world who truly knew her, and saw her, and valued her for who she was.

They weren’t lovers, but Melanie considered him just as close. For many years, he was her one partner and closest friend.

6. When Melanie got pregnant with Alex, she was afraid she’d be a bad mother. She worried that she wouldn’t have that mysterious ‘maternal instinct’ that seemed to come naturally to other women. She thought maybe she was “broken” in a very particular way and shouldn’t be a parent.

Those worries disappeared once Alex was born. More than that, Melanie’s deep connection with Alex made her consider that maybe she’d underestimated herself. In motherhood, Melanie found courage. She built stronger friendships with Ben & Jinju, and she began to interact with Wilford on a more equal footing.

She started speaking up about things she never dared interfere with before. She didn’t like the company’s environmental practices. Their anti-union stances. Their parental leave policies were atrocious. Wilford was beside himself. He didn’t recognize her. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what happened.

At a loss, Wilford blamed his catch-all word for human behavior that fell outside his bounds of understanding.

“Sentimentality.”

7. When Melanie lost Alex, she lost faith in herself. It wasn’t just the grief, or the guilt, though those were enormous. Melanie understood now: Alex was her missing piece. Alex was the one thing that made Melanie feel like she could do anything.

It cannot be overstated what a colossal blunder it was for Wilford to return Melanie’s superpower to her. He thought he was being clever in saving Alex, but from the moment Melanie blew up Big Alice’s connector and Alex gave her that grudging look of respect, all bets were off.

Melanie remembered who she was. The awakening started with Layton, but it ended with Alex.

Final thoughts: Melanie’s particular neurology has been a hot-button issue in the past, so I’m a little nervous posting this. Please reach out to me with any comments or concerns. Everything here is written with an open heart in good faith, and while I’m allergic to argument, I am addicted to discussion. <3

#Snowpiercer #fanfiction #hc

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okayto · 4 years

Text

Mini-Review: Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions!

I’m so glad @littlestartopaz recommended this to me, because it was SO GOOD.

Yuta wants to start high school afresh: new school far from home, new classmates who don’t know he spent middle school acting out the fantasy of being the mysterious and magic “Dark Flame Master,” new him. But one of his classmates has delusions of her own, and after she accidentally discovers his embarrassing past, Yuta is unwillingly drawn into her life and a growing circle of friends with their own quirks.

The “chunibyo” of the title basically means “8th grade syndrome;” a phase in middle school where some kids inhabit and act out their own fantasy stories, positing themselves as dark magicians, magical girls, and other wielders of magical powers.

I had avoided this for a while, until it was specifically recommended to me, because honestly, it sounds embarrassing, right? It sounds like it’s gonna be an embarrassing manic pixie dream girl scenario. But what it actually contains is the story of how a mixed bag of students--some actively chunibyo, others not--become friends and develop very endearing close relationships, while arguing and frustrating each other because that’s what friends do.

Now, the idea of being the star of what’s essentially your own fantasy-action anime is embarrassing, but what’s notable is that the show doesn’t really hold the chunibyo characters up for mockery. Sure we might laugh at them, but hey--it’s funny to watch friends be silly together. And most viewers, just like some of the characters who have moved on from their chunibyo phases, probably easily understand the mix of soul-wrenching embarrassment and (mild?) fond sentiment that comes with remembering our middle school selves.

But let’s be real: the reactions the two former chunibyo students, Yuta and Shinka have to being reminded of middle school, are #RELATABLE

Rikka, our title chunibyo, in particular uses her fantasy in part to cope with grief, coming from an extended family that (without getting spoilery) didn’t help a young girl to deal with a very hard and life-changing time. Now that she’s in high school, her older sister blackmails Yuta (using an a voice recording of one of his chunibyo speeches) into helping deal with Rikka and things (like the cat she wants to adopt) that pop up.

One thing the show is very good at, though, is not making a single thing the reason behind a character’s chunibyo. One may have started their fantasy inspired by another person, or prompted by an event, but it’s also (while active) part of their personal narrative that influences how they spent their free time, how they see the world and keep blogs or diaries, etc.

But at the same time, they’re still teenagers, and their inner view of themselves...doesn’t always translate skills.

I said the show is primarily about friendship. A lot of that friendship is between Yuta and Rikka, but they accumulate a little group, mainly through Rikka’s attempt to start a magic club. Recruit 1: Kumin, a polite, quiet senpai with no chunibyo history or aspirations.

Kumin starts off seeming like a background character, but by the second season it’s clear she’s not just there for jokes about how she’ll take a nap anywhere. She’s perceptive, and genuinely enjoys watching the others act out their scenarios.

Compared to the other characters who are boisterous in their chunibyo activities (Rikka, Deko, Satone), or vociferously trying not to get drawn in to chunibyo activities (Yuta, Shinka), Kumin is happy to watch and offer encouragement, but she’s also willing to participate if a chunibyo scenario calls for a group.

Incidentally, the show does a really interesting thing where occasionally, we’ll be drawn “inside” the chunibyo world, seeing what Rikka/Deko/whoever see: a fantasy land, big magical weapons, anime-grade magical attacks. Occasionally we’ll also see what this “really” looks like--a couple people running around waving umbrellas at each other--but often we only get the fantasy version. It’s clear that Rikka and co. are legitimately on some level engaging in a shared imagination, and the times when a reluctant character (particularly Yuta or Shinka) willing steps in to the shared illusion are genuinely sweet.

Speaking of, Shinka (aka Morisummer) became one of my favorite characters. Like Yuta, she was chunibyo (”Morisummer the magician”); like Yuta, she chose a high school where she didn’t know anyone expressly so she could reinvent herself as a normal teen. And like Yuta, she’s getting dragged kicking and screaming into chunibyo again.

It would’ve been so easy to make her a bad character. She’s pretty, puts a lot of effort into being popular and likable at school, trying to keep up a good teen girl image, despite being fairly sarcastic at her core. And as loathe as she is to admit it, she likes her friends (even if she won’t admit they’re friends, even if half of them are actively chunibyo, even if she says she’s only hanging around so she can make sure all traces of chunibyo-Morisummer are erased from the internet).

Shinka gets drawn in to the group through Rikka’s apparently only pre-existing friend: Deko, a fellow chunibyo who follows Rikka (or “Eye of the Wicked Lord Shingan”) as her master, and is extremely devoted to the great magician Morisummer. So devoted, in fact, that she has several physical copies of Morisummer’s book containing all her wisdom...aka Shinka-Morisummer’s blog, which Shinka has tried to erase all trace of.

Needless to say, the two don’t seem to get along great.

Deko’s dedication to chunibyo and Morisummer irks Shinka; Shinka’s claim to be Morisummer irks Deko, who refuses to believe the great magician could ever be this sarcastic, mundane girl. Deko’s refusal irks Shinka, bringing out the sarcasm and bluntness Shinka tries to hide from the school at large.

Obviously, they actually become close friends, but heaven help you if you actually say so.

The entire series is an exploration of relationships, and Yuta’s developing closeness with Rikka (hey, we knew it was going to happen) is also sweet. He’s a genuinely likable boy, embarrassed by the vestiges of his former self he sees in Rikka, but often willing to meet her on her level, and both of them also learn/reaffirm the importance of doing things their way, and keeping both of them comfortable, rather than acting a certain way or performing specific acts just because their classmates think their relationship status mandates it.

Speaking of classmates--and I know this is getting long but I CAN’T HELP IT, I LIKED SO MANY ASPECTS OF THIS SERIES--the characters aren’t ridiculed at school. Sure, some people think they’re weird, but there’s no shunning, no arc involving teasing or bullies. Rikka’s often content as a loner, but when she attempts to join in a social circle, she’s welcomed. Shinka’s obsessed with reinventing herself and appearing normal and seems to think that otherwise she’ll be cast out, but multiple characters mention that others at the school notice how she behaves (oddly, on occasion) and there are no social repercussions. Truly nice for a show that has characters spending quite a lot of time in school.

Verdict

English dub? Yes, and it’s got strong performances. Rikka’s voice actor in particular does a fantastic job capturing the difference between chunibyo!Rikka’s confidence and command, and regular!Rikka’s, well, normal awkward teenageness. (Plus, I also found her lower-than animegirl-average voice enjoyable.) (Double plus, I honestly think her English voice is better than her original Japanese voice at showing the difference between her emotions and chunibyo/reality.) Deko’s VA is fantastic showing the enthusiasm of the 9th grader (and what enthusiasm, Deko is like the Energizer Bunny), and Shinka’s VA manages to show her alternating annoyance, cheerfully sweet ideal self, and organizized leader voices.

Visuals: Fine, and I really liked the chunibyo designs for each character’s chunibyo phase. The contrast between chunibyo-vision (giant magic weapons; mysterious lights, fantasy landscapes) and reality (an umbrella or soup ladle; a strip of lights taped to the floor; a local park) was really well done.

Worth watching? Yessss. It’s very manageable--two 12-episode seasons--and while each season contains its own arc (you could stop after the first one, but why), together they make an excellent story. Heck, I think the second season is equal to, if not better than, the first, because the friend group is well-established and even more fun to watch.

Where to watch (USA, as of October 2020): Netflix (dub, sub); Crunchyroll (sub), HIDIVE (sub & dub, plus OVAs and film)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#love chunibyo & other delusions #chuunibyou demo koi ga shitai #Rikka Takanashi #Shinka Nibutani #Sanae Dekomori #anime #brb just going into withdrawal from the lack of Shinka and Deko snarking in my life now #not sure if Rikka was supposed to read as non-neurotypical but I think it's a possible interpretation & I want more #reviews #recommendation

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intobarbarians · 3 years

Text

day 2

The song is earnest, unrefined garbage--which is why Jounouchi uploads the video to every social media account he has.

No one likes the music he’s proud of? The lyrics he pours his soul into? Fuck ‘em. Let the masses(one hundred and twenty-eight Twitter followers and counting) be content with shitty pop love ballads. He’ll save the serious music for the live shows in between part-time jobs and construction work. He performs better in person than in front of his flip phone camera, anyway.

Jounouchi will give them one song he’s happy to see ignored. “Seto” deserves nothing more.

***

The notifications on his phone can’t be right. Jounouchi counts the digits again--math is the one class he never failed--and decides the last Instagram update must have fucked up the app. He’s had a few posts in the past that garnered a hundred likes and comments combined, and the app is saying last night’s upload has five thousand. Weird.

He opens his email.

Big mistake.

Calmly, he places the phone in an airtight container that usually houses leftover stir-fry and sets it on the balcony. If the phone is gone by the time he gets back from work, Jounouchi won’t complain.

He brushes his teeth. The email from Kaiba Corps Legal Counsel is probably just spam.

***

The old woman squints her eyes. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

The question pops up from time to time. Jounouchi plays Tetris with her groceries until they fit snug in the canvas tote. “I won second place at Duelist Kingdom in high school.”

She waves away his explanation. “I don’t care for that silly card game you kids play. Where else might I know you?”

“I won a 500-meter dash.” Also in high school. His post-graduation plans have mostly been making music, and the accomplishments there are frustratingly little. Until last night--maybe.

The old woman sighs. “This is going to bother me for the rest of the day.”

Jounouchi hands her the tote and her receipt. “Thank you for shopping with us today,” he says politely.

***

In a tone that implies she has a particular topic in mind, Miho asks, “Is there something you’d like to talk about, Jounouchi?”

Years of dueling have given Jounouchi a keen sense of when a trap is being laid. He focuses on the Dark Magician Girl winking at him from Miho’s thermos. He could have sworn Dark Magician Girl used to blow a kiss instead. Did Miho get a new thermos? “I don’t think so.”

Miho sips her coffee. Dark Magician Girl never looks away from Jounouchi. “Hm.”

His draw. Jounouchi attempts to change the subject. “So, next Wednesday is discount day for mini-golf--”

“Thursday is the discount day for mini-golf at KaibaLand.”

“I wasn’t suggesting we go to KaibaLand.” He never suggests doing anything at KaibaLand. Kaiba has enough money as it is.

“Oh? I was sure you’d want to.”

Jounouchi soldiers on. “Like I was saying, Anzu is on break and coming back this Saturday--”

Miho perks up at the mention of Anzu. Dark Magician Girl starts to laugh. “She told me last night! We were exchanging messages, and she sent me a link to this new song she heard. How does it go again?”

Dark Magician Girl, Jounouchi thinks, save me, you haunted ass cup. “I’m glad you still flirt with the girl you have a crush on while she’s going to school overseas. Can I finish my thoughts here?”

Miho starts humming under her breath. The first few bars are familiar, the product of long nights trying to make his feelings go away, lit up by his heart and the bedside lamp. Jounouchi’s fingers ache for his guitar.

She sings, “I think you ought to give us a try--”

Fuck, he can’t do this. Jounouchi jumps to his feet. “Stop it.”

She catches his hand before he can run away. “Jou, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. It’s a beautiful song.” Dark Magician Girl holds up her wand like a mic.

Jou wonders if there’s a Red-Eyes thermos somewhere. Red-Eyes, at least, would have his back. “It’s stupid. I wrote it a long time ago.”

“You put it up all over the internet. I thought you’d be proud of it.”

He puts all of his music on the internet. Why is it that “Seto” is the song that gets noticed? “It’s not finished. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about the lyrics that bugs me.”

“Other than the fact you have a huge crush on Kaiba Seto?”

“Yeah,” Jounouchi says. “Other than that.”

Dark Magician Girl blows him a kiss.

***

Oh, you don’t wanna be mine I know

But I think you ought to give us a try

I’ve been thrown into the deepest sea

But lightning hasn’t struck you yet

If it pisses off the gods and scorns the fates

I think you ought to give us a try

***

Jounouchi scrambles to the balcony. He opens the container and checks his phone. The notifications fucked around while he was out and are now fit to populate a new solar system. He’s got around seven thousand new followers on Twitter, and his mentions are filled with tweets mentioning Kaiba Corps’ official account.

He does not check to see if Kaiba Corps responds to any of them.

Jounouchi mutes every social media account that mercifully grants him the option. He lays down on the balcony and groans into the gray paint. Just because some poor intern handling the Kaiba Corps twitter heard his song doesn’t mean Kaiba has.

Right?

Yugi’s tried calling Jounouchi six times, but there are seventeen missed calls from an unknown number.

He thinks the phrase Kaiba Corps Legal Counsel and shudders. There are lots of voicemails.

Jounouchi has some experience in breaking the law, and the wisdom from such experience boils down to this: it doesn’t matter what the law says or is when rich people are mad. Pegasus let a bunch of teens wander his private island without food or shelter, and nobody even breathed the word lawsuit in his direction.

He ignores the voicemails to read Anzu’s message demanding that Jounouchi write the music for her next recital. I’ve had Seto on repeat all day, Jou! It’s gorgeous.

He’s not sure how he’ll accomplish that from Kaiba’s dungeon.

#my fic #jounouchi x kaiba #ygo

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creatingnikki · 4 years

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Dearest Nura,

You play multiple musical instruments? Do you know how utterly magical that is! About two years ago when my baby cousin – aged 8 – was discarding his guitar I asked him to give it to me because I was convinced that watching YouTube videos and powered by my immense fascination of the instrument I would be able to learn it. And it might be true for other people but lol not me. But I never threw it away. It’s still kept in a corner in my room and sometimes I just pick it up and even simply strumming the strings and the sounds that it creates soothes my soul like nothing else. And so I know I’m not discarding it anytime soon.

People like you, who can play musical instruments, have the power of creating magical memories. You really do. Today a friend of mine is leaving the city. I met her at work last year when I joined and she left soon after. And I know work friends aren’t friends friends but some people defy that rule. And she was one of them. Every time I went to her home, she removed a musical instrument, as if some magician. First, it was the ukulele. And she played La Vie En Rose – which being a How I Met Your Mother fan – captured my heart. The next time, she got her harmonica out. And the last time, a fascinating instrument, the name of which I don’t remember.

And each time she said she doesn’t quite know how to play any but perhaps one song. And in those moments she seemed like this young, beautiful, peculiar and brilliant girl – which she absolutely is – but in these moments she seemed like a female protagonist out of a YA book. Someone who collects different instruments and only learns how to play her favourite songs on them. I told her this and then she told me, that you too, with your blog and your poetry, your vivid observations of people and your intriguing disposition seem like a female protagonist out of a YA novel. She proceeded to explain how most people could seem like such if viewed from a certain angle. And reading your answers, I have to say, she was absolutely right.

Not just because you write fiction (which btw is awesome! Any tips?) and play multiple musical instruments but because of all your answers. The way you feel about love…I have to say I can’t disagree one bit. It is definitely why we are living right now – the only thing that makes all the other pain and suffering worth it. Because if we didn’t have love, what would really be the point of this frustrating and confusing life? Love adds another dimension and adjective to that definition of life. Life is frustrating and confusing and yet magical.

And haha I am far from a sports person but the fact that, aside from your parents, you have said ‘I love you’ the most to your favourite hockey team (Pittsburgh Penguins) is so striking and endearing. See, another beautiful and peculiar YA protagonist trait! We are, aren’t we, the protagonists of our life, as cliché as that sounds. And side characters of so many other books. I also believe while we may not be the writers of our life – because the universe, god, forces we can’t recognise, chain reactions, other people and so much more – determine so much of how our life plays out. But we are the editors, no? We can choose to cut some parts out, to draw the focus onto some other parts. And I think, I agree with Stephen King, when he says – to write is human, to edit is divine.

About stress and life – you know what I am doing today, on a Wednesday in the morning? Writing you this letter. Why am I not at work? Because I took a pass. I am down with the flu and my overwhelming emotions and thoughts. People and obligations exhaust me and I get worried about my personality (lyrics from TMI by Gray). But it’s true and hence I took a day off. A pass. A mental health day. A pause. Whatever you want to call it but every so often it’s so important for all of us to do this. Students. People working full time. Full time homemakers and parents. Literally everyone. On days like these it’s also so important to:

Keep your phone and social media time to a minimum

Keep social interactions to a minimum

Not push yourself to do anything you don’t want to do

Do silly little things that bring you joy

Unwind in ways that suit you the best

Yell out loud – stop – if you have to for your brain to stop thinking or planning about the future or the past

Knowing that you deserve days like these

You’re also the second person I’ve ever come across who speaks so highly and warmly of your co-workers. And it truly makes me so happy because if the people you spend a majority of your day with can make you feel accepted/loved/understood, that’s another way life truly becomes more magical. When I started work last year, my desk partner and my first friend, made me feel that way. On the surface, we were as different as we could be, and initially we also gave into the human flaw of judging each other, but eventually we really saw the other person for who they were and came to develop a pure and genuine bond. We didn’t communicate much through typical conversations, especially not when one of us was mad or sad. But during such times, she would always leave me my favourite chocolates in my desk. Or doodle something on a sticky note and leave it on my laptop. I did the same. And these tiny things made those days bearable. And so then it made life bearable.

Love, Nura, as you rightly said is everywhere. I always knew that but The Love Project it has given me hard facts for the same. The people around the world who harbour so much hate and discrimination for other people, I wish I could show them the answers people have given for The Love Project. People all around the world – we love the same way and we hurt the same way. And if that similarity of our truth and existence doesn’t matter then I don’t know what does.

So, Nura, as you live your last teen year, I hope you can look and accept all the love this life has to offer you. Your twenties are going to be as frustrating as exciting. But I do have a feeling that the exciting and magical bits are going to overpower the frustrating ones. So, now and in the future, live well, and edit even better.

All my love, Nikki

Guys, February is 29 days of love letters. I’m writing love letters, as part of The Love Project, and if you’d like me to write one to you, drop me an email at [email protected]

There are 2 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D

I wrote this letter for Nura basis some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers here.

#the love project #29 days of love letters #letter 11 #love letters #valentines day #happy valentines day #february 2020 #let me write you love letters #creatingnikki

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magicianapprenticelyra · 4 years

Note

(Birthday question) Who is your favorite child to write?

Mun: No matter what I say, there is a version of Lyra who is aware of the existence of her other children on all the timelines that will look at me, aghast at my answer, because she absolutely adores all of them.

Let me say what I like writing about each of them though, to give you a better idea.

In no particular order:

Junior:

To be precise, he is the first of Lyra’s children that sprung into my mind. He’s the son of one of the most infamous men in Vesuvia. Paired with his mother, to say the least, Lucio and Lyra make an odd couple. We don’t know, as of yet, how Lucio’s upright ending shall go, but my prediction is that there is a possibility that Lucio might have to leave Vesuvia. There’s a lot to be said about the man that helped Vesuvia into one of the region’s most disastrous moments in history. It wouldn’t be good to stay in Vesuvia… hence why he and Lyra leave to make a life of their own. Junior, growing up, only knows a few details here and there about who his father was in the past. However, he’s learned from his mother that the past doesn’t define anyone: it’s what you do from then onward is what’s important. Overall: Junior loves the shit out of his family, and they do so in turn. Woe be to anyone that speaks ill of this group. Junior might get his ass beat, but he’ll always say it’s worth it in the end.

Iris:

For starters, from when she was a little girl, Iris wanted to be as big and strong as her Papa. She grew to top off at 6 ft tall, and is decently muscled. She wants to get buffer, but it’s a work in progress. Out of all my apprentices, she’s probably the one that can navigate The Forest the best. She found her familiar out on one of the rocks near the top of the mountain, where Muriel casts his runes. While her papa was doing that, she heard some squeaking off to the side. She looked, and there was Flower, the pika that would become her familiar in time. She just loves, love, loves, loves her friends and family. Funny enough, she’s also the almost too-spoiled niece of the Satrinavas. Iris is best friends with Navra, and often explores/gets lost in the Marketplace with her whenever she visits. Even if she is muscled/could split a log in two with her bare hands, she loves dressing in feminine things. Dresses with the poofs and ruffles, the works! Muriel, despite thinking that sort of stuff isn’t necessary when getting dressed up for special occasions, is fully in support of her tastes.

Noor:

Asra’s kids were the last ones to pop up in my mind for me. Noor was the first of them, being the elder one of the twins. She is very adept at water and fire magic, but instead chooses to spend her time learning the multitudes of dances across the world. Growing up, she never was into entering competitions: the dancing is the best part! Why put so much worth into it, only to be pitting each other against people? Dance in and of itself is an expression of love for the craft, in her opinion. She’s best friends with the Stove Salamander at home, and is a lover of people watching when she travels with her parents all over the place and on her own. With her brother, she was the one looking out for him all the time because Hải almost never stood up for himself. He’s better at it now, and she’s so proud of him. Her grandparents, strangely, don’t seem to be much older than her Zaza. Maybe it’s in the genes or maybe magic something. Her patron would be The Star, and time to time she travels to the Lighthouse in the Arcana realms to pop in and say hello.

Shiloh

He gets into the most trouble out of all the kids. He’s like his father before them, though the unfortunate thing is that Shiloh is a bit more mean spirited about it. He was born a little early, which made his parents a bit more protective than they should’ve been over him. The kid’s the most fire magic inclined of the whole bunch. One time he coincidentally summoned the rains in Nopal by dumping a bucket of water into the sand, and then shouted to the sky IT’S NOT THAT HARD. The shit-eating grin he had for the rest of the day when it rained buckets was legendary. Along with the fire magic, Shiloh is the second-most combative of all the kids, with Avery being the most adept. He butts heads with his mom and dad a lot. Mazelinka can only do so much before she resigned with ‘the boy is on his own now’. There have been points where he’s run away, only to return within 24 hours. When he’s about the age of 18, he took off on a ship. He didn’t return home for another five years. He always wrote his parents, to say the least. Lyra ain’t happy he became a bounty hunter, but that’s his route in life now. At least Julian taught him how to run when necessary.

Avery

She’s adopted into Lyra and Lucio’s family when she’s five to six years old. Her village was razed to the ground, leaving Avery behind with a burnt little Lykoi cat named Marcus. These two joined their family about a year to two years before Junior was born. The difference between them really is that Avery is the outgoing sibling and knows when not to fight. Junior on the other hand, fought a lot. Sometimes, he fought for no good reason at all. Avery does still have her biological mom: Leora. They find Leora again a few years after Junior is born, and they recognize each other right off the bat. She’s a part of the family too, though Leora often roasts Lucio, much to his chagrin. Because of that wherever Leora is settled in, Lyra, Lucio and Junior moved in nearby so that Avery could have all her parents nearby. As an adult, Avery becomes either a bounty hunter or a mercenary. Leora and Lyra are very nervous about her chosen path, but Lucio can and will show her all the ropes in order to protect herself and how to kick ass. And she does very, very well.

Hải

The younger sibling of the Alnazar twins, he felt he was always running leagues behind his sister. They didn’t have a sibling rivalry in any sense of the word, but at times Hải felt like he was inadequate in a family full of powerful magicians: his grandparents with alchemy and water magic, his Zaza with water magic, divination, and so on, and his mother’s strange ability to learn some magic and being able to get a handle on it quickly. Because of that, he hardly tried to make any friends. He wasn’t lonely, per se, but his social skills aren’t the best. Then one day, when he was thirteen, he flubbed making a simple recipe. Hải was so angry he threw the spoon, only to be startled by the fact it suddenly magnetized to the kitchenette, scaring everyone in the house and the poor Stove Salamander. Asra always recounts that day proudly to customers, happily pointing out that the metal spoon is still magnetized to the kitchenette. After that, Hải began an apprenticeship under his grandfather. This also gave him an unexpected friend and mentor in the Countess, who often helps Hải with his personal projects.

Thomas

The last, but not the least! Thomas is actually the son of one of the Palace staff. Regardless of timelines, Thomas is gonna be a part of Lyra’s family somehow, someway. He never knew his father, but he knew his mother, Callista, only spoke of him fondly. One day, his mother suddenly passed away, orphaning him. All of the Palace’s staff took it upon themselves to help raise the boy. In the timeline where Lyra and Portia end up together, Thomas often tagged along with Portia whilst running errands for the Countess. When Portia couldn’t mind him, Lyra took it up on herself to do so. Her warmth and occasionally silliness, combined with Portia’s antics, made for great fun in his childhood. In the rest of the timelines, Thomas ends up in Lyra’s orbit somehow, someway. Apprentice timelines, even if she doesn’t know why, Lyra is very fond of children. It was only natural of her to gravitate to one that she was within close proximity with at the Palace. His magic style is focused in the vocal: he sings in order to do magic. He is forbidden to sing at the Rowdy Raven because he accidentally enchanted a good portion of Barth’s stock to walk out the door and into the canals.

#The Arcana #fan apprentice #Count Lucio #lucio x apprentice #Muriel #muriel x apprentice #Asra #asra x apprentice #Julian Devorak #julian x apprentice #magicianapprenticelyra #The Seeker: Junior #The Forthright: Iris #The Heart: Noor #The Lioness: Avery #The Mind: Hải #The Singer: Thomas #answering the mail

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frederator-studios · 6 years

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Meet Kate Tsang and Jennifer Cho Suhr, Creators of “Welcome to Doozy”

Kate and Jennifer are award-winning, multidimensional filmmakers who bonded over being the food table hoverers at networking events. Others may schmooze; Kate + Jen sandwich. Their passion for food - and for their friendship - shines through in their short “Welcome to Doozy,” our 6th GO! Cartoon. I sat down with these very impressive ladies to discuss the bureaucracy behind imaginary friends, the importance of representation, and karaoke tea-time.

Sooo, how’d you two meet? Kate: We met in film school at NYU, where we were in the same Masters program. Jen: Kate took classes in animation - but I have no animation background, and, sadly, can barely draw...

What brought you together as collaborators? Jen: We were paired in the same production group our first week of school, and became good friends. Kate: We’ve since collaborated on each other’s class exercises, thesis films, and various arty things.

Partners in movie-making! What brought you to Frederator as a team? Kate: I’ve always had an interest in animation. I love Adventure Time and Bee and PuppyCat. So when Natasha Allegri posted on her blog about GO! Cartoons, I told Jen we should ‘go’ for it. Jen: We had - still have! - the concept for a full series prepared, so we actually pitched the show bible first and then reverse-engineered that into the short.

How did “Doozy” change throughout your development process? Jen: A lot, actually. Lou is a Kitsune fox demon now - she started out as an eyeball with cowboy boots! But the concept was always 2 girlfriends, a la Broad City, having misadventures. Kate: A little origin story: Ex (who has always been a rabbit) recently retired from being an imaginary friend. The Bureau of Imaginary Friends handles the re-adjustment of retired IF’s back into the imaginary world. So this is the story of Ex re-assimilating: finding a roommate in Lou, getting a job, and developing a crush on her coworker Skeletim. Jen: Skeletim stayed really consistent since the pitch - Eric (Homan, our VP of Development) always really liked him. We joke that Eric only stuck with us because of Skeletim.

How much are Ex and Lou based on you two, and who’s who? Kate: It’s a bit of a mix… Jen: But I’d say I’m more Ex, almost by default - just because Kate is so much more like Lou. Kate: I AM the mischievous one. Jen: And I’m the more... straight-laced one? I guess that’s the way to put it. Although! Kate is the one who does martial arts, like Ex.

What themes recur in your work? Kate: There’s always hopefulness in mine. I’m interested in outsiders, and finding whimsy and humor, even when things look bleak. I enjoy working in mediums where I can create wonderment. Like right now: I’m learning magic! Jen: I care a lot about representation and grounding stories in the realities of human relationships. The feature film that I’m developing now is inspired by my relationship with my sister. And with “Doozy”: it’s very specific to Kate and my identities as Asian Americans. Kate: Like incorporating the bento box, and the influence of Japanese anime and manga, of which we’re both fans. We were definitely inspired by Hayao Miyazaki’s way with food.

❀ A happy lil side note: one of the most popular Youtube comments on the short reads ‘A lot of people won’t know what a bento is but thanks to you, now they do!’ ❀

Jen: And we were conscious of the fact that most buddy comedies are about male friendships. We wanted to show girls being silly together and represent female friendship as it really is. Kate: That’s why Broad City was such an inspiration and even a motivator for “Doozy”. We were like ‘Ok, people do want to watch this.’

I read recently that Broad City’s viewership is split almost evenly male/female - it’s actually something like 55/45, with more men watching than women. Kate: What? That’s awesome. Jen: It just goes to show that it all comes down to good comedy and strong characters. I’m actually about to have a baby boy which has made me think about the types of stories that I’ll read to him as he grows up. I’ve been thinking of some of my favorite YA books with female protagonists like Anne of Green Gables and A Wrinkle in Time… it’s important to me that he’s able to identify and empathize with female characters. The only reason that boys “wouldn’t be able to” as people say, is if they learn socially that they shouldn’t.

What are some cool things we’ll get to see if “Welcome to Doozy” gets a series? Jen: Well, let’s just say there are some nefarious happenings in Ex’s office…

Gasp! Not Mrs. Hugs! Kate: Nah, not Mrs. Hugs. She’s a true office drone, doesn’t know what’s really up. Jen: We’d also backtrack, to show how Ex and Lou came to be friends and roommates. Kate: And we’d get to introduce their pet popsicle, who lives in the freezer. Jen: And we’d get to see Lou working her job at a run-down mini golf course. She schemes and ~magics~ to keep it afloat. Kate: There’s an underlying mystery, and it’d be a lot of them screwing up while trying to investigate it.

What sorta stuff do you guys like to do together - any wild adventures? Kate: Actually, yes. We try to take a road trip together every year. So far we’ve done the Badlands, the Southwest, the Midwest, the South and New Orleans. Jen: Admittedly, the Midwest was probably the most boring… not to knock where I’m from. But here’s a story: when we were in Nashville - the biggest music town - we quickly realized that karaoke is different there and that everyone getting onstage was a pro or semi-pro country singer. And then Kate got up - Kate: I didn’t know any better. Jen: And sang an Amy Winehouse/Mark Ronson cover amid all this country music. Truly the new kids in town. And the audience TOTALLY ate it up! They loved it. Kate: We karaoke together a lot. Sometimes we rent a room for just the two of us… during the middle of the day… one might call us enthusiasts.

What cartoons do you guys like? Jen: Well, Kate and I have wildly different tastes. But we both love Adventure Time and Rick and Morty. Kate: And we share 90s cartoons, like Dexter’s Lab, Daria, and Invader Zim - Jen: But Kate likes things like Ren & Stimpy - which is too grotesque for me…

What about your favorite Studio Ghibli film? Jen: Spirited Away. Kate: My Neighbor Totoro.

Last up: what are you working on now, and what’s your favorite thing you’ve made in the past? Kate: Favorite film I’ve made is “So You’ve Grown Attached” - “Doozy” inherited elements from it, like the imaginary friends, and the name ‘Ex’. Jen: I’m really focused on getting my feature financed right now, which we want to shoot this summer.

Oo-ooh! What’s it about, and who’s the star? Jen: The film is called You and Me Both and we have Constance Wu from Fresh Off the Boat as one of the stars (me = !!). It’s a drama with comedic notes about two sisters, one a struggling heroin addict, who take a road trip to find their birth mother. While it touches on some heavy topics like loss and addiction, it’s ultimately a love story between sisters… so if anyone is looking to finance a film, hit me up! As far as favorite work… I don’t know… Kate: What about “Saeng-Il”? (“Birthday” in Korean) Jen: Okay, “Saeng-Il” then.

vimeo

And Kate, what are you working on?

Kate: Eeeerrrrrr…. Jen: C’mon! Your feature! Kate: Okay, yeah, I’m working on a feature too. It’s a drama-comedy about a teen delinquent who teams up with a struggling party magician to battle her inner demons, strained home life, and avoid reform school. If anyone happens to know anyone who knows Catherine O’Hara - I’ve got a part for her.

youtube

You heard it here first, folks. Let’s snag financing for “You and Me Both” and Catherine O’Hara as Kate’s lead.

Thanks for taking the time, Kate and Jen! Great chatting with you, and best of luck on all of your projects. Can’t wait to see ‘em on the big screen (and also, little screens).

- Cooper

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little-jester-adventures · 6 years

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1OO IMPORTANT CHARACTER QUESTIONS

(( I really wanted to do this meme for a long time now ! But I kinda struggled with which verse I would do for Elisa. But since it’s tumblr, I’ll do it with the more Borderlands-tumblr verse I have for her right now. If you guys want to see this meme with Elisa her main/canon backstory. Feel free to tell me :) ))

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? “My name is Elisa de Graaf.”

Where and when were you born? “I was born on Earth. Haha no, I was born in the Netherlands on the 13th of February 1994.”

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) “Uhm...That’s a weird situation...I have my own parents, David and Selina de Graaf. My dad and I share the same powers and he is a magician who preforms shows around the world. My mom has telepathic powers, just like my brother. She works as promoter for my dad. So they can be together as often as possible ! They are kind, funny and very supportive. But uhmm..Now the weird part...Since I kinda live on Pandora now, I got a set of new parents. Handsome Jack and Nisha the sheriff of Lynchwood...Yea...I call them my murder parents, because, well...You know...”

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? “I have ! My brother Liam de Graaf, he’s a couple years older then me and share the same powers as my mom. He is very protective and funny. I miss him...But I have nothing to fear. I got my Pandoran brother now, August ! August is such an amazing guy. He takes care of me, he’s kinda, funny, charming and makes me feel at home again.”

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people. “Right now I live in a couple of places. I have a place on Helios, in Lynchwood, in Hallow Point and with Rhys is the Atlas facility.”

What is your occupation? “I work in the Purple Skag as a waitress.”

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. “Uhmm...I’m 5′8 feet tall. I have long brown hair with a little streak always on my face. I also paint a little star on my cheek because I’m took scared to get a tattoo on my face. This doesn’t mean I don’t have any tattoos. I have a bunch of tattoos on my hips and back and with a little help of my silly magic, I made them fade and appear on random parts of my back. Oh ! And I don’t weight a lot...whoops.”

To which social class do you belong? “Here on Pandora ? I think a pretty high one...Since I have ben adopted by Handsome Jack and Nisha.”

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? “I’m not very strong...”

Are you right- or left-handed? “I am right handed.”

What does your voice sound like? “Uhm...Pretty high pichted, maybe a bit annoying...It’s not high pichted like a 4 year old...But well...You know.”

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? “Oh my goodness. Oh jeez. IT HAPPENED ONCE !”

What do you have in your pockets? “Uhm...empty candy wraps...I ate a few a couple of minutes ago hahaha.”

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? “I giggle a lot and very quick, I trust people waaaay to quickly, I also turn really REALLY red very often. Oh...And when I get drunk...I start to float because I can’t controle my powers very well when I’m drunk.”

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? “Very good ! I had a great childhood.”

What is your earliest memory? “Uhmm...My earliest memory is about my brother and I sharing ice cream. I was covered in it tho hahaha.”

How much schooling have you had? “I went Highschool and College.”

Did you enjoy school? “Highschool was a bit meh, because you know how teenagers are...I was the weirdest girl in school with strange powers...So yea, I got bullied a bit.”

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? “From my father and from my friends.”

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. “My role model were my parents, yea I know it’s super cheesy. But they were good people, they were kind and showed me that there is good in the world that we need to protect.”

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? “I wanted to be a nurse.”

As a child, what were your favorite activities? “Playing piano and later violin.”

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? “Cheeky, adventures, curious, kind and a little trouble maker. All I wanted to do was go on adventures and be a superhero.”

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? “Yea I was, because I was able to show my friends some little tricks I learned. My friends were kids who lived nearby and from school.”

When and with whom was your first kiss? “M-My first kiss ? Oh...Oh goodness. That was back in highschool. I was...15 ? With my first boyfriend at the time...Who...Well kinda dumped me a couple months later because ugh never mind.”

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? “Believe it or not, but I’m not a virgin. I lost mine at the end of highschool when I was 18 with my second boyfriend who was very sweet and kind back then.”

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. “I was born with my powers. Just like my parents, I didn’t have to do any scary things to get my powers. Thank god for that !”

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? “I have a few...But I think...The moment I made a big mistake by trying out new magic and ended up here on Pandora...”

Who has had the most influence on you? “My friends and family.”

What do you consider your greatest achievement? “My greatest ? Was joining my superhero team back home and helped a lot of people across the world.”

What is your greatest regret? “Not staying in contact with them...When we split up...”

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? “Now see...I don’t like doing evil things to people...”

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? “Nope ! And I would like to keep it that way...”

When was the time you were the most frightened? “The first few hours on Pandora. I had no diea where I was, if there were people on the planet, what kind of dangers I would come across...The whole being on Pandora thing was very frightening.”

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? “I uhmm...W-Well I...I kinda kissed Jack when I was really drunk...IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT I DID !”

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? “Stay in contacted with my old superhero buddies...”

What is your best memory? “Creating our superhero team and living with my new family.”

What is your worst memory? “Losing them...”

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? “I am very optimistic !”

What is your greatest fear? “Dying alone...”

What are your religious views? “Uhm...Not really....I believe there is something out there watching over us, but I don’t know what it is...”

What are your political views? “Uhm...skip !”

What are your views on sex? “It’s nice.”

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? “I-I don’t like killing people. I only did it...Twice...Because we had no choice. I believe that everything can be solved by talking or helping someone...Killing is never the answer...Sadly that’s not how it works here on Pandora.”

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? “Killing someones family...Those are the people who you are bounded with for live...And then you take that bond away from someone...It’s the most horrible thing.”

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? “I do ! Ofcourse I do ! True love is always out there and everyone will find it.”

What do you believe makes a successful life? “A successful life ? Oh that’s a difficult question. I think for me it would be to be happy with my partner, not have to worry about money and raise a family.”

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? “I...I hide a lot...That’s all I want to say about it.”

Do you have any biases or prejudices? “I try not to have any...But sometimes I do...Sorry...”

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? “I will not kill people...”

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? “My friends and family.”

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? “I treat people how I want others to treat me. Politely, with kindness and I’m always willing to listen to everyone. Sure it changes a bit when I get to know the person better, I get a bit more bold. But I always stay kind towards everyone.”

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? “Right now ? Rhys. Right behind Rhys on my list are August, Nisha and Jack. But Rhys is the most right because...Well he’s my boyfriend.”

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? “The most respect ? Hmmm....I have to say August and Jack. Because they both made a name for themself...Sure in...very different approaches...But that’s not what I want to focus on.”

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. “My friends. Well you have Rhys, who is my boyfriend. Nisha, who took me in when I had no place to go and she quickly became my best friend ! August, who is my Pandoran brother ! Handsome Jack, sure our relationship is kinda weird...But I see him as a friend. And Pari, she’s such an awesome friend, I love her. And there are a lot more, but we’re not that close yet...”

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. “My significant other is Rhys. He’s funny, kind, a bit sassy and works really hard. I love him.”

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. “Hmmm...Like I stated a couple of times...I have boyfriend ! So yea I have been in love. It was a very warm and fuzzy and felt great.”

What do you look for in a potential lover? “A man who loves me for who I am, even with my strange powers. Who is taller then me and loves cuddling. Oh and who’s older then me is always great.”

How close are you to your family? “I am very close with both my families, the one back home and the one here on Pandora. Sure I could get a bit closer with Jack...But we can work on that.”

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? “Why not ? Uhm...I’m 24...I’m a bit too young.”

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? “That depends on the situation...But I think I would go to Nisha first. She’s the one person who has known me the longest...But she has told me that’s not very good with emotions...”

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? “I do. I trust August, because he sees me as his little sister and has already protected me a couple of times. I trust Nisha, for the same reason. And I trust Rhys ofcourse.”

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? “I hope my Pandoran friends and family would miss me...”

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? “I don’t really despise anyone...”

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? “I mostly try to avoid conflict...”

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? “I do, I love interacting with people !”

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? “I do ! Because it’s fun to meet a lot of people and hear their awesome stories.”

Do you care what others think of you? “I do...But I shouldn’t...But it’s hard to not think about it over and over again. I want people to see me as kind and caring...“

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? “I love watching movies with Rhys, Dancing and singing in the Purple Skag with August and my shooting practice with Nisha.”

What is your most treasured possession? “A picture of my family back home I always have stored in my tophat...”

What is your favorite color? “Red, yellow and purple.”

What is your favorite food? “Anything that is sweet hahaha.”

What, if anything, do you like to read? “I like to read history books and books about magic.”

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? “Music you can dance to, I want to have a great time and lose myself in it. Same goes for movies !”

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? “I do drink, I like cocktails oke haha. But I’m a lightweight.”

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? “Cleaning the bar with August, talking about our day and have a good laugh when bar is closed.”

What makes you laugh? “Rhys making silly jokes. Nisha talking about Violet and Jack. Oh ! oh ! oh ! And when August does impressions of people we know !”

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? “People not taking me serious...”

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? “Play with magic, talk to my bunny or...read or something.”

How do you deal with stress? “Uhm...I try to take a long warm bath and try to listen to some nice music.”

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? “I am pretty spontaneous. Sure a plan is nice...But most of the time I don’t have one.”

What are your pet peeves? “People bringing up things I did in the past I feel embarrassed about.”

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? “My routine ? Oh it’s not that special. I get up in the morning, get dressed and check what I have to do one that day...It’s a oke routine, nothing too special.”

What is your greatest strength as a person? “Mine ? Uhmm...I think my kindness ? I don’t know...I don’t think I really have any strengths.”

What is your greatest weakness? “My naivety...”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I want to be stronger...I don’t want to feel weak like I feel right now...”

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? “I am very extroverted !”

Are you generally organized or messy? “I’m pretty organized.”

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. “Things I’m good at ? Uhm...Listening to people, making people smile and taking care of my friends. Things I’m bad at, Learning to not trust every person I meet, magic and defending myself.”

Do you like yourself? “Uhm...I...I’m not sure to be honest...”

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) “I do these things to be a hero. I want to help people, that’s my biggest goal in life.”

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? “I want to be able to control all of my powers.”

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? “In 5 years I hope I’ll have figured out how to use my powers to switch between Pandora and Earth so I can always visit all my friends and families.”

If you could choose, how would you want to die? “Defending a friend or family member.”

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. “Say goodbye to Jack and Nisha. and give Nisha my tophat because she likes it so much. Stay a few hours with August to calm him down and tell him everything is going to be oke, leave Apollo with him to take care off...And my last hours I’ll spend with Rhys...”

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? “My kindess...”

What three words best describe your personality? “Kind, silly and a bit of handfull.”

What three words would others probably use to describe you? “Bubbly, cheery and naive.”

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…) “You are a great person...I don’t be so hard on yourself and take the compliment you get. Don’t stress yourself out, you are doing great...”

#Jester Headcanon #Jester's personality #Character Meme

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musingcompany · 7 years

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Underneath the cut you’ll find #52 archetypes from A-Z!! If you don’t know what an archetype is, you can read about it here and under the cut.

Why use archetypes as a character building tool?

Knowing the archetype may assist you in fleshing out your character and in building a complete world.

Many writers shy away from using “character types”. They fear they will be writing a stock character – one that lacks originality, depth and complexity. My argument is that there is a lot to be learned about from studying archetypes and that you can make your archetype original by placing him/her in an unexpected role.

Every story has a hero. A hero is an archetype. Is every hero in every story unoriginal? Hell no.

Q: Why should I use archetypes?

Makes a story feel fully developed. We expect to see the hero and villain (both archetypes) and adding further archetypes can help your world to feel full, complex and real. It contributes to identifiability. People will feel they know someone “just like that”. Assists with writing believable group dynamics. You want real group dynamics, take a handful of archetypes and throw them in a room together and let them duke it out. The conflict between archetypes creates tremendous dramatic tension. Archetypes perform essential functions that may be necessary for your story. You may need a character to point your hero in the right direction, or in the wrong direction. You may need a character to offer advice, provide wisdom or specialised knowledge. You may need a character to push the hero into facing his fears. You may need a character to be the voice of temptation, or faith, or logic or purity. All these voices stem from archetypes. It’s a grounding force. When we see/read an archetype, though he may look a particular way, the audience is grounded in knowing who they are on some deep, unexplainable way. John Truby, storytelling guru and Author of The Anatomy of a Story states:

“Using archetypes as a basis for your characters can give them the appearance of weight very quickly because each type expresses a fundamental pattern that the audience recognises, and this same pattern is reflected both within the character and through interaction in the larger society.” (source).

Artist: Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental, Romantic and Visionary, full of passion, creativity and intensity, spontaneous, loving, loves to impact change, trouble controlling emotions, takes things to extremes, unaware of boundaries

Beast: physically unattractive but with humanity or physically attractive but without humanity, a representation of the primitive past of man

Boss: The Leader of the pack, the “go to” person, the solver of problems, may be overbearing and controlling, competitive, stubborn, aggressive, status seeking, can be chronically rude

Career Criminal: commits crime with high stakes, smart, suspicious, may be highly skilled, plans carefully, may move often, can be charming, feels like an outcast, creates his own morality

Child: can be young in age or in spirit, loves adventures, seeking play and playmates, potential, innocence, rebirth, salvation, believes in good vs. evil

Clown/Joker: Uses humour to cope and avoid tough emotions/intimacy, Serves as a happy distraction, makes others happy by joking around/diffusing the tension, may be sad inwardly- does not show this to outsiders, thinks he is helping people by relieving stress. (Note: a more pure form of this archetype is the Jester – always lighthearted and joking but he/she is always pure of heart and truly caring for others like Kramer in Seinfeld.)

Do-er/Achiever: Focus is on success, often has experienced success, often building a track record, great ability and ambition, at times cannot see the bigger picture and loses out on love/family/living at the moment due to single-mindedness. Organised, driven and often needs to be seen as a winner. Rarely stands still.

Emotionally Sick: Mentally disabled, dependent, sometimes the focal point of the family, can create chaos, draining on others

Enabler: Maintains group balance by rescuing the irresponsible one and smoothing things over. Often faces a dilemma: if he/she does not bail the irresponsible one out of a bad/dangerous situation, the irresponsible one could do serious harm to self or others. May be contributing to the irresponsible behaviour by continuing to rescue and cover up- but believe that they are simply being helpful.

Father: Source of authority and protection, powerful, strict, often inducing fear, protects loved ones fiercely, wants to win, can be an activist, very physical, motivated by survival, can be career focused, sometimes fails to think things through

Feminist: the female cause is her cause. Masculine side is just as strong as her feminine side, intuitive, instinctual, task oriented, can be seen as cold, self-sufficient and goal oriented, can be boastful

Femme Fatale: Seductive, charming, loves being in control, loves the thrill of the chase, often provokes jealousy, has star quality, fashion conscious

Flamboyant/Show Off: Extrovert. Likes to be the centre of attention, extreme need to display intelligence, talent or body, often deeply insecure, overcompensating for a deep need to be loved/connection, can be dramatic and easily upset, flaky

Fool: still a little boy or girl inside, seeks to play/find a playmate, wandering off in confusion and faulty directions, creates chaos for others, cares for children, takes risks, avoids commitments and responsibility, fears boredom, loves freedom, can be charming

Gender Bender: Feels they were born in the wrong body, may try to correct the issue, may have two identities (one male, one female), does not act for sexual thrill, can be loyal, appreciates loyalty, seeking their place in society

Girly Girl: Innocent, Feminine, focused on all things girl, beauty, can be extremely naive, helpless or dependent, idealistic and coy, nurturing, passive, difficulty expressing anger or dealing with conflict, boosts men’s egos, may doubt own adequacy, flirtatious

God or Goddess: All powerful, source of magic, can provoke fear, awe, humility, the great mother, or Mother Earth

Guy’s Guy: masculine in an exaggerated way, rugged, tough, fearful of weakness, adventurous and aggressive, worldly, sexually experienced, ambitious, need to win, risk taker, may have rocky relationships with women

Imposter/Pretender: take advantage of situations, intelligent, verbal, delights in deceiving people, looking for the weakness to exploit it, may make a career out of deception, makes his own rules, rationalises his life choices

Investigator/thinker – Withdrawn, Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated, Can become obsessed/highly focused on a goal. Finding what is hidden/unknown brings creative joy.

Irresponsible /Drug Addict-Alcoholic – avoids commitment, dedicated to the moment, to his freedom, fears being chained down to a schedule, can turn to drugs and alcohol, lives life on her own terms, discounts societal rules, selfish, narcissistic, creates chaos by acting on own desires, destabilizes the group

Journeyman/Hero: Journeys on quest, Champion, defender, rescuer, travels on journey to realize his/her destiny, can lose sight of all but his journey, often reluctant to go on journey, to be a fully realized hero he must face his greatest fears and flaws

King: Ruler, Sees the big picture (often avoiding the details), cares for the whole village, can be authoritative, lacking emotion, can be an addict, craves self-esteem and self-respect, confident, strategist, needs a kingdom, can be controlling, fear-provoking, stoic, unable to express emotions

Know-It-All/Reformer: superior attitude, can be self-absorbed, tries to come across as having it all together but often just seems silly, full of it, low self-esteem, need to be seen as an expert, may try to change others or situation

Loner – isolates, struggles to connect with others / socially inept, avoids conflict, invested in his rich inner world only, fears the world, usually intelligent, reliable and loyal trusted few, can have large imagination, feels alien to others

Lover/Love Interest: Romantic, sincere, dedicated to object of his/her affection, often poetic or artistic, often the symbol of home base or security, believes in the hero, the person the hero can vent to

Loyalist: Strong ability to support others, bonds and stays, can lack self-worth, doubts abilities, tends to isolate when not with specific loved ones, big-hearted, can get behind a cause

Magician or Shaman: Offers an elixir, explains the mysteries of life, may provoke fear in others, spiritual, powerful, often loves to be alone/dislikes the spotlight

Maiden: innocence, desire, purity, often searches to be rescued, inexperienced and naive, often self-confident, playful, takes risks, may want to party and have fun, can be sexy and child-like

Manipulator: charming, intelligent, ability to read the needs of others and use the information, sly, deceitful, crafty, may appear attractive at first or on the surface, ability to pull others in, can play the role of the backstabber

Mentor: advisor, expert, intelligent and wise, wants to be in hero’s life, cares for hero, can be positive or negative force in hero’s life, can be a competitive relationship with the mentor struggling to let go

Mother: Source of nurturing and comfort, calming, center of the hearth, offers guidance, can be over-controlling and worrisome, sense of duty to help others is strong, can be needy, a martyr and passive aggressive

Narcissist – self-absorbed, inability to see the needs of others, draws the attention back to himself, often a show off, low self-esteem, lacks empathy for others, needs to be admired, will express his grandiose sense of self, often politicians or religious leaders due to ready, admiring audience

Nemesis/Challenger: a friendly troublemaker, has a surface-friendly relationship with the hero but his main goal is to mess up the hero’s life, often jealous, the nemesis loves to hate the hero, in fact it’s part of his life’s purpose

Observer: watches all but often quiet. Usually a deep thinker and when he/she does speak, it is something of importance, insight or gravity. Will withhold judgment until all of the evidence is in. Can be fiercely loyal to hero or to his tribe. Has trouble letting loose and having fun.

Peacemaker: Tries to be the force of peace, dislikes conflict, Easygoing, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent

Perfectionist/Conformist: needs precision, pressures others to reach for the best, hard on themselves/others, can be rigid, purposeful finds it painful to live outside society’s expectations, cares deeply what others think, anxious, can be a team player, finds meaning and stability in rules/regulations

Pessimist/Depressive: glass half empty point of view, pulls others down, self-absorbed, Debbie downer, will offer disapproval, why try attitude, will take no risks, spreads doubt, defeat, confusion

Psychopath – no conscience, amoral, inability to feel or care for others, no sense of guilt or consequences, can be source of fear, easily bored, motivated by money, impulsive, irresponsible, no sense of belonging, no strong emotions, rationalises his behaviour

Queen: Ruler, willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good, can be stoic, has masculine qualities, can be the bringer of harsh truth, stands up for beliefs, protective, loyal, wants to keep order, strong, can be boastful

Rage-Filled: goes from irritated to fury quickly, violent, can’t control temper, dislikes most people, often self-loathing, loyal. Ironically when calm can be loving, likes to laugh and be passionate.

The Reformer: Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and often a Perfectionist

The Robot/Intellectual – Hides in their knowledge, intelligence trumps feelings, may struggle socially, low communication skills, high abilities, strength can lie in their objectivity

Scapegoat – the one to blame when things are going wrong, the person who acts out in a dysfunctional family, he often suffering the shortcomings of others often the one that receives all the negative attention. (The acting out teen sent to therapy who deals with drunk father nightly – but he is seen as the sick one) Can be rebellious, perhaps antisocial, ‘juvenile delinquents.’

Scaredy Cat/Fearful: worrier, anxious, brings fear/panic to others, hides from life and new experiences, the member of the group who will bring up what might go wrong in any scenario

Trickster: trouble maker, liar, rascal agent that pushes us toward change, self-absorbed, can be entertaining or charming

Troubled Teen – hates rules, defies authority, can be depressed, self-centered and angry, loyal to fellow criminals, feels above the law, vulnerable (cults and drugs)

Upside Down Hero/Anti-Hero – motivated by base or lower nature drives. Driven by the pursuit for power, sex, money, control. Need to fill his/her appetite is big and often all that matters. Can be selfish, anti-social, power-hungry, and materialistic. An Anti-hero is useful in storytelling, by examining the dark side of an anti-hero the audience may be able to explore/come to terms with their own shadow side.

Warrior Hero: takes action, takes on causes, fights for what he believes, single-minded, leads the pack, craves blood and battle, most in touch with his rage/anger as primary emotions, takes risks to compensate for loneliness, doesn’t expect to live long

Wild One/Flamboyant/Rebel: Cares little what others think, walks to the beat of their own drum, often likes to shock/display their different/offbeat world view, against the grain of society

Wise Old Man/Woman: sage, guidance, keeper of profound knowledge, wisdom, has “seen it all”

Wizard/Psychic: eccentric, possesses knowledge about hidden secrets of the earth, often sought out when a transformation is needed. The Psychic may possess knowledge of other worlds or of the future

Woman’s Man: loves women above all else, women love him and are drawn to his inspirational, passionate qualities, smooth talker motivated by love and belonging yet may have trouble committing, searching for impossible ideal, can be irresponsible/flighty, sensual and erotic, can be seen as a dreamer, chivalrous and gentle, driven by experiences

Vampire: Uses people for his/her needs. Passionate, sometimes romantic, experiences life in a heightened way, strong emotions, self-absorbed, can be dominating and secretive

Victim: “poor me” mentality, believes they will always suffer, looks for evidence that life is working against them

Zombie/Monster: half human or not human at all, provokes fear, panic, sometimes has human qualities/elements

#syd did that #archetypes #archetype #character development #character help #character ideas #masterlist #masterlists #rp #rph

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katybudgetbooks · 7 years

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YA Books We’re Excited About in September 2017

Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart (9/5): From the author of the unforgettable New York Times bestseller We Were Liars comes a masterful new psychological suspense novel—the story of a young woman whose diabolical smarts are her ticket into a charmed life. But how many times can someone reinvent themselves? You be the judge. Imogen is a runaway heiress, an orphan, a cook, and a cheat. Jule is a fighter, a social chameleon, and an athlete. An intense friendship. A disappearance. A murder, or maybe two. A bad romance, or maybe three. Blunt objects, disguises, blood, and chocolate. The American dream, superheroes, spies, and villains. A girl who refuses to give people what they want from her. A girl who refuses to be the person she once was.

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust (9/5): Frozen meets The Bloody Chamber in this feminist fantasy reimagining of the Snow White fairytale. At sixteen, Mina's mother is dead, her magician father is vicious, and her silent heart has never beat with love for anyone—has never beat at all, in fact, but she’d always thought that fact normal. She never guessed that her father cut out her heart and replaced it with one of glass. When she moves to Whitespring Castle and sees its king for the first time, Mina forms a plan: win the king’s heart with her beauty, become queen, and finally know love. The only catch is that she’ll have to become a stepmother.Fifteen-year-old Lynet looks just like her late mother, and one day she discovers why: a magician created her out of snow in the dead queen’s image, at her father’s order. But despite being the dead queen made flesh, Lynet would rather be like her fierce and regal stepmother, Mina. She gets her wish when her father makes Lynet queen of the southern territories, displacing Mina. Now Mina is starting to look at Lynet with something like hatred, and Lynet must decide what to do—and who to be—to win back the only mother she’s ever known…or else defeat her once and for all.Entwining the stories of both Lynet and Mina in the past and present, Girls Made of Snow and Glass traces the relationship of two young women doomed to be rivals from the start. Only one can win all, while the other must lose everything—unless both can find a way to reshape themselves and their story.

Nothing by Annie Barrows (9/5): Nothing ever happens to Charlotte and Frankie. Their lives are nothing like the lives of the girls they read about in their YA novels. They don’t have flowing red hair and hot romantic encounters never happen—let alone meeting a true soul mate. They just go to high school and live at home with their parents, who are pretty normal, all things considered. But when Charlotte decides to write down everything that happens during their sophomore year to prove that nothing happens and there is no plot or character development in real life, she’s surprised to find that being fifteen isn’t as boring as she thought. It’s weird, heartbreaking, silly, and complicated. And maybe, just perfect.

Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas (9/5): In the next installment of the New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass series, follow Chaol on his sweeping journey to a distant empire. Chaol Westfall has always defined himself by his unwavering loyalty, his strength, and his position as the Captain of the Guard. But all of that has changed since the glass castle shattered, since his men were slaughtered, since the King of Adarlan spared him from a killing blow, but left his body broken. His only shot at recovery lies with the legendary healers of the Torre Cesme in Antica--the stronghold of the southern continent's mighty empire. And with war looming over Dorian and Aelin back home, their survival might lie with Chaol and Nesryn convincing its rulers to ally with them. But what they discover in Antica will change them both--and be more vital to saving Erilea than they could have imagined.

Before She Ignites by Jodi Meadows (9/12): From the New York Times bestselling co-author of My Lady Jane comes a smoldering new fantasy trilogy perfect for fans of Victoria Aveyard and Kristin Cashore about a girl condemned for defending dragons and the inner fire that may be her only chance of escape.Mira has always been a symbol of hope for the Fallen Isles, perfect and beautiful—or at least that’s how she’s forced to appear. But when she uncovers a dangerous secret, Mira is betrayed by those closest to her and sentenced to the deadliest prison in the Fallen Isles.Except Mira is over being a pawn. Fighting to survive against outer threats and inner demons of mental illness, Mira must find her inner fire and the scorching truth about her own endangered magic—before her very world collapses.

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu (9/19): An unlikely teenager starts a feminist revolution at a small-town Texan high school in the new novel from Jennifer Mathieu, author of The Truth About Alice. MOXIE GIRLS FIGHT BACK! Vivian Carter is fed up. Fed up with an administration at her high school that thinks the football team can do no wrong. Fed up with sexist dress codes, hallway harassment, and gross comments from guys during class. But most of all, Viv Carter is fed up with always following the rules. Viv's mom was a tough-as-nails, punk rock Riot Grrrl in the '90s, and now Viv takes a page from her mother's past and creates a feminist zine that she distributes anonymously to her classmates. She's just blowing off steam, but other girls respond. As Viv forges friendships with other young women across the divides of cliques and popularity rankings, she realizes that what she has started is nothing short of a girl revolution. Moxie is a book about high school life that will make you wanna riot!

One Dark Throne by Kendare Blake (9/19): The battle for the crown has begun, but which of the three sisters will prevail? With the unforgettable events of the Quickening behind them and the Ascension Year underway, all bets are off. Katharine, once the weak and feeble sister, is stronger than ever before. Arsinoe, after discovering the truth about her powers, must figure out how to make her secret talent work in her favor without anyone finding out. And Mirabella, once thought to be the strongest sister of all and the certain Queen Crowned, faces attacks like never before—ones that put those around her in danger she can’t seem to prevent. In this enthralling sequel to Kendare Blake’s New York Times bestselling Three Dark Crowns, Fennbirn’s deadliest queens must face the one thing standing in their way of the crown: each other.

Release by Patrick Ness (9/19): Inspired by Judy Blume’s Forever and Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway, this novel that Andrew Smith calls “beautiful, enchanting, [and] exquisitely written” is a new classic about teenage relationships, self-acceptance—and what happens when the walls we build start coming down. Adam Thorn doesn’t know it yet, but today will change his life. Between his religious family, a deeply unpleasant ultimatum from his boss, and his own unrequited love for his sort-of ex, Enzo, it seems as though Adam’s life is falling apart. At least he has two people to keep him sane: his new boyfriend (he does love Linus, doesn’t he?) and his best friend, Angela. But all day long, old memories and new heartaches come crashing together, throwing Adam’s life into chaos. The bindings of his world are coming untied one by one; yet in spite of everything he has to let go, he may also find freedom in the release. From the New York Times bestselling author of A Monster Calls comes a raw, darkly funny, and deeply affecting story about the courage it takes to live your truth.

Invictus by Ryan Graudin (9/26): Time flies when you're plundering history. Farway Gaius McCarthy was born outside of time. The son of a time-traveling Recorder from 2354 AD and a gladiator living in Rome in 95 AD, Far's birth defies the laws of nature. Exploring history himself is all he's ever wanted, and after failing his final time-traveling exam, Far takes a position commanding a ship with a crew of his friends as part of a black market operation to steal valuables from the past. But during a heist on the sinking Titanic, Far meets a mysterious girl who always seems to be one step ahead of him. Armed with knowledge that will bring Far's very existence into question, she will lead Far and his team on a race through time to discover a frightening truth: History is not as steady as it seems. In this heart-stopping adventure, Ryan Graudin has created a fast-paced world that defies time and space.

The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo (9/26): Enter the Grishaverse... Love speaks in flowers. Truth requires thorns.Travel to a world of dark bargains struck by moonlight, of haunted towns and hungry woods, of talking beasts and gingerbread golems, where a young mermaid's voice can summon deadly storms and where a river might do a lovestruck boy's bidding but only for a terrible price.Inspired by myth, fairy tale, and folklore, #1 New York Times-bestselling author Leigh Bardugo has crafted a deliciously atmospheric collection of short stories filled with betrayals, revenge, sacrifice, and love.Perfect for new readers and dedicated fans, these tales will transport you to lands both familiar and strange—to a fully realized world of dangerous magic that millions have visited through the novels of the Grishaverse. This collection of six stories includes three brand-new tales and six stunning full-spread illustrations as rich in detail as the stories themselves.

#new releases #YA #E Lockhart #Melissa Bashardoust #Annie Barrows #Sarah J Maas #Jodi Meadows #Jennifer Mathieu #Kendare Blake #Patrick Ness #Ryan Graudin #Leigh Bardugo

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bidickgrayson · 7 years

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i’ve finally almost gotten to the place in persona 3 where i stopped playing a couple years ago. just got to october, and i stopped some time in november in my first playthrough

it’s interesting to revisit shinjiro’s death a couple years later, because that death was one of the few things i remembered with any kind of detail. i remember being very angry at the storyline that had a ten-year-old kid plot revenge for the death of his mother. couldn’t really understand that urge/the fact that that kind of storyline was coming from a TEN YEAR OLD

and i’m still not a fan, but i am a little less directly angry with ken. the first time, i wasn’t expecting it, and so i was just angry that ken got shinjiro into a situation where he was killed lol. i had a lot more sympathy for ken this time around, when i knew what was coming the whole time, and could remind myself more rationally that ken didn’t actually kill shinjiro

really where i disagree with the writing around shinjiro’s death the most is around the aftermath, primarily around akihiko’s reaction. first of all, BULLSHIT on the fact that akihiko was like “we need to stop treating ken like a kid” because HE IS A KID!!!! what are you talking about!!!! “he needs to make his own decisions” like OKAY i get that you want to respect his autonomy but....he was just a kid who plotted a revenge-murder of a high schooler who killed his mom in front of him, only to watch in horror as that high schooler THROWS HIMSELF IN FRONT OF A GUNSHOT TO SAVE THE KID’S LIFE and then died in front of the kid. there’s no acknowledgement of the trauma, because they’re trying to treat this precocious ten-year-old like he’s an adult, when frankly, no adult would go through that without some trauma!! it’s just dumb. and i can forgive the sees members for some of it, because this is a bunch of high schoolers dealing with some heavy shit with no good adult supervision (lol @ ikutsuki), and they’re all just kids themselves, so i can’t really blame them for not knowing the best way to handle it and stumbling through on their own

also, what makes it worse is that it was literally just revealed that ken was suicidal/wanted to die like, just a while before, and tbf none of the other sees members knew, but i knew as the audience, and so to have akihiko go like “well, he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do” was so jarring and distressing. GET THIS KID SOME HELP! but. whatever. and then ken of course decides to come back and has a new resolve, and it’s treated as though that’s the really strong thing to do and not a definitely unhealthy lack of concern for mental well-being. “i’m strong so i’m not going to let the multiple traumatic events/my suicidal ideations (as a ten-year-old!) distract me from our mission”

also, back to direct reactions to shinjiro’s death, and maybe this is more personal preference, but i really Cannot Relate at all to akihiko’s resolution in the face of it. i remember that disconnect was jarring to me when i first played it years ago too. because he’s sad, and then very quickly he’s not sad because “it’s what shinjiro would have wanted”. and i just can’t relate to how quick he came to terms with the death, because this was literally akihiko’s oldest friend. and when the other’s express sadness, he’s like, don’t be sad, it’s what shinjiro wanted. LIKE WTF it is still sad??? i just think a better balance between acceptance and grief could have been found, because i really feel like they jumped over the majority of the grief that i would expect from shinjiro’s oldest friend, which is very jarring. but. i mean, who knows, maybe that would be realistic to some. it feels like a shortcut to me tho. i like akihiko, but this particular instance really disconnected me from his character

i’ve heard that with the female protagonist in p3p, you can do a social link so shinjiro doesn’t end up dead. and i’m really curious how that plays out (/why the social link changes it). i just wanna be able to say “YOU’RE A HIGH SCHOOLER, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE YOUR DEATH IS THE BEST WAY THINGS CAN PLAY OUT ( :( )”

anyway, some other thoughts while i’m here:

my vague recollection of p3 having some social links with ppl who weren’t really good people was correct. or maybe i should say, weren’t people i really found sympathetic. like, the devil link with the shady businessman (which i still haven’t completed), or the magician link with the classmate kenji (he has called me SO MANY TIMES, and i have turned him down every time, because if there’s going to links i don’t complete, i am fine with one of them being his. i just.....am not interested in his quest to fuck his teacher, i don’t enjoy it. i know i completed his in my last playthrough, but i can’t remember how it resolves but....god i could not care less about kenji). then there’s the hermit link with the teacher online (she’s so annoying lol, and i hate that she tells protag that she has a crush on the irl him, like, fuck off. also, she’s such a bad/unsympathetic teacher, it made me really miss kawakami, who had flaws but was ultimately a good teacher imo). oh, then there’s the emperor link with hidetoshi on the student council who....lol, that’s another link i completed last time but have barely touched this time, because i really dislike him. i kinda remember him softening towards the end of the link, but so much of the first part is just about enabling him being a tyrannical class council member which is not fun. and i ultimately like the tower/monk link, but he’s another character who....doesn’t really seem like that nice of a person. but i do like him because he likes the protag

the other links for the most part are good. it’s interesting the differences between p5 and p3 social links, because p5 had a definite theme to all of the links (/the whole game lol) where they were all ultimately good people who were misunderstood/unfairly judged/treated somehow (altho i haven’t done the iwai link all the way through, i imagine it ends up similarly because he’s a somewhat decent person “doing evil to combat evil” iirc). but there’s no real theme for the p3 links as far as i can tell. which makes sense, because in p5 there is a specific reason to have links with them all because they end up helping you, and they all end up as accomplices to all of the crimes the thieves commit lol

i really dislike that you have to romance all of your female classmates in order to complete their social links. what is friendship lol. really really really makes it feel a whole lot cheaper, and really makes it hard for me to care. very glad they stopped making that a requirement in p3p and beyond

what also make it hard for me to care?? the blank and unemotional p3 protagonist lol. i really have a hard time connecting to him, because he doesn’t really do much?? he’s just a blank wall for all of the social links, and it really disconnects me from the emotions of it. some girl will be confessing her feelings to him, and i’m just like, hm, fascinating, who cares, he’s gonna go on a date with another girl tomorrow. it doesn’t feel real to me at all. maybe i’m just totally unfairly biased toward p5 (and i don’t want to compare endlessly, bc p5 is newer and clearly they’ve made many improvements over the years, but it’s the easiest comparison at hand), but when someone talked to joker about how much he meant to them, i bought into it a lot more than i do with mr. low energy, the p3 protag. joker felt like an actual character to me, that i could care about, who i could understand/imagine his feelings and reactions to things. but for the p3 protag, it’s a lot of, well, i GUESS he COULD care about shinjiro dying, but you sure as heck have to read a whole lot into it to get to that conclusion, because the strongest reaction you can make him have to it is to have him tell the callous students at the assembly to “shut up.” which is nice, but hardly anything at all lol. i just find him difficult to project my emotions onto him in the game, unlike joker, who i didn’t have as much trouble believing in his genuine feeling for the people he talked to. i think also, people reacted to joker in a much more specific way that made him more real than the p3 protag, who kind of feels like a ghost most times, except for his social links where he shows up just to say exactly what the other person wants to hear lol. idk, i’m looking forward to replaying p5 and paying more attention to joker this time

(my feelings on the p3 protag are gonna be interesting come end-game, because if i understand correctly from the vague spoilers i’ve gotten about p3, the protag is gonna sacrifice himself to save the world. i keep trying to remind myself/play with that in mind, because i don’t think someone would sacrifice himself if he was actually as unemotional and detached as he sometimes comes across as)

80% of my rage at this game comes from being unable to control my specific party members in battle and so they do things that i don’t want them to, 10% comes from enemy advantage attacks (especially when i swing at them, but they hit me first), 9% comes from this game challenging me/punishing me for being underleveled when i’m playing on easy and don’t want any challenge at all because i want to get past the silly fighting business and back to social links/story, and a special 1% goes to the sleeping table boss in tartarus, which definitely was a primary punisher for me being underleveled and caused me to yell angrily at my screen yesterday

oh, ikutsuki. it’s funny, because p3 was the first persona game i played, and very early on, i was like, i don’t trust ikutsuki at all, so when the reveal came that you should not, in fact, trust ikutsuki, i wasn’t at all surprised. but it’s funny to replay it, knowing that persona likes the “this guy is not what he seems” trope, and realize that...there wasn’t really a specific giveaway instance where ikutsuki said something that was off (a la pancakes, or adachi showing up to a private conversation with interesting timing), it was just a sort of feeling i got about this weird adult who was having these high schoolers be responsible for saving the world, apparently. he really is a terrible terrible advisor though, lol, even knowing he’s evil. it’s sad to realize that the only adult help these kids have got is someone who is absolutely not on their side, and they’re truly on their own

#talking to myself #katherine plays persona #this is so many run on sentences with my thoughts about p3 #also mentions of #suicide /#I'VE TURNED INTO A PERSONA BLOG RECENTLY sorry @ the 99% of my followers who aren't interested in that

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readbookywooks · 7 years

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“How old are you, little girl?” “Nearly nine.” “And you want to be a wizard when you grow up.” “I want to be a wizard now,” said Esk firmly. “This is the right place, isn't it?” Cutangle looked at Trestle and winked. “I saw that,” said Esk. “I don't think there's ever been a lady wizard before,” said Cutangle. “I rather think it might be against the lore. Wouldn't you rather be a witch? I understand it's a fine career for girls.” A minor wizard behind him started to laugh. Esk gave him a look. “Being a witch is quite good,” she conceded. “But I think wizards have more fun. What do you think?” “I think you are a very singular little girl,” said Cutangle. “What does that mean?” “It means there's only one of you,” said Trestle. “That's right,” said Esk, “and I still want to be a wizard.” Words failed Cutangle. “Well, you can't,” he said. “The very idea!” He drew himself up to his full width and turned away. Something tugged at his robe. “Why not?” said a voice. He turned. “Because”, he said, slowly and deliberately, “because . . . the whole idea is completely laughable, that's why. And it's absolutely against the lore!” “But I can do wizard magic!” said Esk, the faintest suggestion of a tremble in her voice. Cutangle bent down until his face was level with hers. “No you can't,” he hissed. “Because you are not a wizard. Women aren't wizards, do I make myself clear?” “Watch,” said Esk. She extended her right hand with the fingers spread and sighted along it until she spotted the statue of Malich the Wise, the founder of the University. Instinctively the wizards between her and it edged out of the way, and then felt rather silly. “I mean it,” she said. “Go away, little girl,” said Cutangle. “Right,” said Esk. She squinted hard at the statue and concentrated .... The great doors of Unseen University are made of octiron, a metal so unstable that it can only exist in a universe saturated with raw magic. They are impregnable to all force save magic: no fire, no battering ram, no army can breach them. Which is why most ordinary visitors to the University use the back door, which is made of perfectly normal wood and doesn't go around terrorising people, or even stand still terrorising people. It had a proper knocker and everything. Granny examined the doorposts carefully and gave a grunt of satisfaction when she spotted what she was looking for. She hadn't doubted that it would be there, cunningly concealed by the natural grain of the wood. She grasped the knocker, which was shaped like a dragon's head, and rapped smartly, three times. After a while the door was opened by a young woman with her mouth full of clothespegs. “Ot o0 00 ont?” she enquired. Granny bowed, giving the girl a chance to take in the pointy black hat with the batwing hatpins. It had an impressive effect: she blushed and, peering out into the quiet alley-way, hurriedly motioned Granny inside. There was a big mossy courtyard on the other side of the wall, crisscrossed with washing lines. Granny had the chance to become one of the very few women to learn what it really is that wizards wear under their robes, but modestly averted her eyes and followed the girl across the flagstones and down a wide flight of steps. They led into a long, high tunnel lined with archways and, currently, full of steam. Granny caught sight of long lines of washtubs in the big rooms off to the sides; the air had the warm fat smell of ironing. A gaggle of girls carrying washbaskets pushed past her and hurried up the steps - then stopped, halfway up, and turned slowly to look at her. Granny set her shoulders back and tried to look as mysterious as possible. Her guide, who still hadn't got rid of her clothes-pegs, led her down a side-passage into a room that was a maze of shelves piled with laundry. In the very centre of the maze, sitting at a table, was a very fat woman with a ginger wig. She had been writing in a very large laundry book-it was still open in front of her-but was currently inspecting a large stained vest. “Have you tried bleaching?” she asked. “Yes, m'm,” said the maid beside her. “What about tincture of myrryt?” “Yes, m'm. It just turned it blue, m'm.” “Well, it's a new one on me,” said the laundry woman. “And Ay've seen brimstone and soot and dragon blood and demon blood and Aye don't know what else.” She turned the vest over and read the nametape carefully sewn inside. “Hmm. Granpone the White. He's going to be Granpone the Grey if he doesn't take better care of his laundry. Aye tell you, girl, a white magician is just a black magician with a good housekeeper. Take it -” She caught sight of Granny, and stopped. “Ee ocked hat hee oor,” said Granny's guide, dropping a hurried curtsey. “Oo ed hat -” “Yes, yes, thank you, Ksandra, you may go,” said the fat woman. She stood up and beamed at Granny, and with an almost perceptible click wound her voice up several social classes. “Pray hexcuse us,” she said. “You find us hall at sixes and sevens, it being washing day and heverything. His this a courtesy call or may I make so bold as to ask -”she lowered her voice -“ his there a message from the Hother Sade?” Granny looked blank, but only a fraction of a second. The witchmarks on the doorpost had said that the housekeeper welcomed witches and was particularly anxious for news of her four husbands; she was also in random pursuit of a fifth, hence the ginger wig and, if Granny's ears weren't deceiving her, the creak of enough whalebone to infuriate an entire ecology movement. Gullible and foolish, the signs had said. Granny withheld judgment, because city witches didn't seem that bright themselves. The housekeeper must have mistaken her expression. “Don't be afraid,” she said. “May staff have distinct instructions to welcome witches, although of course they upstairs don't approve. No doubt you would like a cup of tea and something to eat?” Granny bowed solemnly. “And Aye will see if we can't find a nice bundle of old clothes for you, too,” the housekeeper beamed. “Old clothes? Oh. Yes. Thank you, m'm.” The housekeeper swept forward with a sound like an elderly tea clipper in a gale, and beckoned Granny to follow her. “Aye'll have the tea brought to my flat. Tea with a lot of tealeaves.” Granny stumped along after her. Old clothes? Did this fat woman really mean it? The nerve! Of course, if they were good quality .... There seemed to be a whole world under the University. It was a maze of cellars, coldrooms, stillrooms, kitchens and sculleries, and every inhabitant was either carrying something, pumping something, pushing something or just standing around and shouting. Granny caught glimpses of rooms full of ice, and others glowing with the heat from red-hot cooking stoves, wall-sized. Bakeries smelled of new bread and taprooms smelled of old beer. Everything smelled of sweat and woodsmoke: The housekeeper led her up an old spiral staircase and unlocked the door with one of the large number of keys that hung from her belt. The room inside was pink and frilly. There were frills on things that no one in their right mind would frill. It was like being inside candyfloss. “Very nice,” said Granny. And, because she felt it was expected of her, “Tasteful.” She looked around for something unfrilly to sit on, and gave up. “Whatever am Aye thinking of?” the housekeeper trilled. “Aye'm Mrs Whitlow but I expect you know, of course. And Aye have the honour to be addressing - ?” “Eh? Oh, Granny Weatherwax,” said Granny. The frills were getting to her. They gave pink a bad name. “Ay'm psychic myself, of course,” said Mrs Whitlow. Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent for it. It was a different matter if people who ought to know better did it, though. She considered that the future was a frail enough thing at best, and if people looked at it hard they changed it. Granny had some quite complex theories about space and time and why they shouldn't be tinkered with, but fortunately good fortune-tellers were rare and anyway people preferred bad fortune-tellers, who could be relied upon for the correct dose of uplift and optimism. Granny knew all about bad fortune-telling. It was harder than the real thing. You needed a good imagination. She couldn't help wondering if Mrs Whitlow was a born witch who somehow missed her training. She was certainly laying siege to the future. There was a crystal ball under a sort of pink frilly tea cosy, and several sets of divinatory cards, and a pink velvet bag of rune stones, and one of those little tables on wheels that no prudent witch would touch with a ten-foot broomstick, and -Granny wasn't sure on this point - either some special dried monkey turds from a llamassary or some dried llama turds from a monastery, which apparently could be thrown in such a way as to reveal the sum total of knowledge and wisdom in the universe. It was all rather sad. . “Or there's the tea-leaves, of course,” said Mrs Whitlow, indicating the big brown pot on the table between them. “Aye know witches often prefer them, but they always seem so, well, common to me. No offence meant.” There probably wasn't any offence meant, at that, thought Granny. Mrs Whitlow was giving her the sort of look generally used by puppies when they're not sure what to expect next, and are beginning to worry that it may be the rolled-up newspaper. She picked up Mrs Whitlow's cup and had started to peer into it when she caught the disappointed expression that floated across the housekeeper's face like a shadow across a snowfield. Then she remembered what she was doing, and turned the cup widdershins three times, made a few vague passes over it and mumbled a charm which she normally used to cure mastitis in elderly goats, but never mind. This display of obvious magical talent seemed to cheer up Mrs. Whitlow no end. Granny wasn't normally very good at tea-leaves, but she squinted at the sugar-encrusted mess at the bottom of the cup and let her mind wander. What she really needed now was a handy rat or even a cockroach that happened to be somewhere near Esk, so that she could Borrow its mind. What Granny actually found was that the University had a mind of its own. It is well known that stone can think, because the whole of electronics is based on that fact, but in some universes men spend ages looking for other intelligences in the sky without once looking under their feet. That is because they've got the time-span all wrong. From stone's point of view the universe is hardly created and mountain ranges are bouncing up and down like organ-stops while continents zip backwards and forwards in general high spirits, crashing into each other from the sheer joy of momentum and getting their rocks off. It is going to be quite some time before stone notices its disfiguring little skin disease and starts to scratch, which is just as well. The rocks from which Unseen University was built, however, have been absorbing magic for several thousand years and all that random power has had to go somewhere. The University has, in fact, developed a personality.

#EqualRites

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