#we get Easter weekend and that Monday off

[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Chapter 5)

Summary: Another few days spent with Mitch and Sarah lead to more developments in your relationship.

Previous Chapters: One ; Two ; Three ; Four

TW for this chapter: It contains smut

I did have one person mention that these posts aren't showing up for them, I'm guessing because the story now has a mature community label, so let me know if you want to be added to the taglist so you don't miss anything!

Hope you enjoy, and would love to know what you're thinking of the story so far!

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The following week is busy at work. Ryan’s mom, Beth, is a high school teacher and has been stuck working longer hours, as it was the end of a marking period as well as the week before spring break. You and Ryan had started going on more outings. You were busy taking him to baby music class, and story time at the local library.

Sarah and Mitch had also started to spend more time at the studio, often going for hours or even the whole day. You hadn’t seen them all week, and after having spent a whole weekend together, you were missing them.

Finally on Thursday you see them for the first time in days. You’re loading Ryan into his car seat as they get out of their car across the street.

They walk over to you waving hello before leaning in to say hi to Ryan.

“How are you love?” Sarah asks. “We’ve missed you,” she says as Mitch nods in agreement.

“I missed you guys too,” you say with a shy smile. “I’ve been good, crazy busy. We’re trying different activities for Ryan. His mom wants him socializing with other kids and burning some energy. Which definitely is needed. Plus, he switched to one nap a day so there’s a lot of time to fill.” You realize you’re once again rambling and turn the conversation to them, asking, “What have you been up to?”

“Mitch got some inspiration for new music, so we’ve been working on that.”

“That’s so cool! Can I hear some of it?”

“Sure kid,” Mitch replies. “Are you free anytime soon?”

“Ryan’s family is going away for Easter this Sunday and taking a long weekend, so I’ll be off next Monday and Tuesday. If you’re free, maybe we could have another sleepover? My apartment this time.” You blush, nervous that you sounded too forward.

“What are you doing for the holiday?” Sarah asks.

“Honestly, probably nothing. Maybe make a special meal or something. What about you guys?” You notice they didn’t acknowledge your invitation and grow more worried that they no longer want that aspect of their relationship with you. Before your mind spirals, Mitch answers.

“My aunt and uncle are visiting for a couple days,” Mitch answers before continuing, “And you will be coming over for dinner.”

“I really don’t want to intrude-” Sarah cuts you off, saying, “Y/N, you will be coming over for dinner. No question. You’re never intruding. And if you don’t mind, maybe we could come over on Sunday after dinner and stay a couple of days?”

Your face lights up and you reply, “I absolutely would not mind.” At that moment Ryan starts loudly babbling, tired of listening to the adults. “I should get going, story time starts soon.”

Sarah leans in and gives you a light hug, saying, “Of course! Sounds like we’ve got a great plan.” She pulls back and Mitch rests his hand on your shoulder for a second before squeezing once and pulling away. You know that these are the only types of contact you can have with them in public. Even if you were spotted, those casual touches wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

You double check that Ryan’s car seat straps are tight enough and continue with your afternoon. You have newfound energy now that you know that you’ll be spending multiple days with Mitch and Sarah.

Friday passes quickly and you keep busy on Saturday, doing a much deeper clean than usual since you would be having guests. You also go food shopping and make sure to pick up ingredients for an appetizer and a dessert which you make Sunday morning before heading over to the Rowland’s house in the early afternoon.

Mitch’s father answers the door and leads you into the kitchen where the rest of the family is congregated. You’re greeted by Mitch, Sarah, and Tammy, and introduced to Mitch’s aunt and uncle. You have a wonderful afternoon with everyone, enjoying the stories they’re all telling.

After dessert is over, and you finish playing a few rounds of a card game that got way more competitive than expected, you’re saying goodbye to Mitch’s family. He and Sarah each grab their bags and walk out to your car with you.

It’s a quick drive to your place and next thing you know, Mitch and Sarah are walking around your apartment, complimenting the view and decorations.

“This apartment really is beautiful. I love the windows and it’s so spacious in here,” Sarah says.

“There aren’t many perks to most of your family dying in your early 20’s, but being the sole recipient of all life insurance payouts and inheritances would probably be the one bright side.”

They both stare at you, as they do when you mention your trauma so nonchalantly.

“What?” you say, “I’m talking about the positives! Don’t give me those faces. Anyone want some water?” You decide it might just be best to move on from the discussion of your dead relatives. You grab a couple bottles of water from the fridge and hand one to each of them asking, “Do you guys want to sit out on the deck?”

They agree and you lead them outside to show them one of your favorite parts of your apartment. It’s a decently large deck, big enough to fit an outdoor loveseat plus another comfy chair, and since you’re a corner unit, it faces the woods behind your building, allowing for privacy. You sit in the single chair, leaving them to share the loveseat. You start to tell them about the wildlife you’ve seen in the woods, then point out the constellations you could see.

You all spend a few minutes sitting quietly enjoying each other’s company as well as the mild early spring weather. You feel a hand on your arm and know that it’s Sarah. You turn to her, and she gently pulls you, saying, “You’re too far away, come here.”

You get up and stand in front of them, not sure exactly where to sit. She pulls you down so that you are seated sideways on her lap, your legs extended over Mitch. He runs his hands over your shins and Sarah wraps her arms around your waist, holding you close. After another few minutes of listening to the calm sounds of the night you feel Sarah brushing your hair over your shoulder so she can start to kiss your neck.

Your eyes close at the feeling of her lips on your skin and of Mitch’s hands traveling higher on your legs. You slowly turn your head and seek out Sarah’s lips with your own. Neither of you hesitate to deepen the kiss, tongues immediately searching each other’s mouths. Mitch leans in to take over peppering your neck in kisses, occasionally switching to do the same to Sarah. He eventually turns you away from Sarah to himself, and you get lost in the feeling of kissing him. Next thing you know you’re watching them make out in front of you as your hands absently trail along their skin.

You all continue on like this for a while, getting lost in the sensations.

“Should we head inside?” Sarah asks, and you nod your head.

You all stand up, Mitch steadying both you and Sarah. You walk into your bedroom, immensely glad you had decided to splurge on the king bed. You stop just in the doorway and feel Mitch’s hand on your lower back. You’re equal parts excited and nervous about what’s about to happen, and you wonder if you’ll ever move past your nerves. You feel Mitch’s lips against your ear, and he asks, “Would you like to learn something new tonight?”

You turn your head to him, eyes practically crossing trying to look at him when he’s so close, and you nod again. He turns to whisper something to Sarah, and she smirks before climbing in bed and leaning against the headboard.

“C’mere, love,” she says to you, and you climb up the bed towards her. She pulls you in and says, “Mitch thinks we can teach you some different things to do with your mouth, what do you think?” Your eyes practically roll back in your head at the suggestion. You bite your lip and nod before saying, “I think that’s a great idea.” You start kissing her neck, biting gently as though overeager at the idea of using your mouth to please them.

Clothes are thrown off bodies and onto the floor. You start to kiss down Sarah’s body. You’re leaving kisses on the inside of her thighs when you suddenly feel kisses on your own thighs from behind. You glance back to see Mitch is behind you, just as bare as you and Sarah.

“Just follow along with Mitch,” Sarah says. You’re confused for a moment but then gasp as you feel him lick along your core. You understand what Sarah meant and lean to do the same to her. The sounds she lets out spur you on, each whimper turning you on even more and you barely hold yourself back from pushing closer to Mitch’s mouth.

You take note of the different things he does with his lips and tongue and recreate the moves to the best of your ability on Sarah. You feel the familiar tightening in your belly as your orgasm approaches. You hum in pleasure and the vibrations push Sarah over the edge. She grabs your hair, careful not to pull too hard. You work her through her orgasm and a second later fall into your own.

You lay your head on Sarah’s stomach as you both catch your breath. Her fingers weave through your hair as Mitch presses light kisses to your back. He climbs up towards Sarah, and she pushes him to lay on his back. Your eyes meet Sarah’s, and she beckons your closer. You crawl up to kiss her, then Mitch.

You think about what today’s lesson is, and take a deep breath before moving back down, this time trailing kisses along Mitch’s torso. You kiss just above his groin and look at his hard cock before glancing back to Sarah, silently asking for advice on what to do next.

She starts to whisper instructions in your ear, and you lean down to wrap your lips around him. He groans and clutches the sheets to keep himself from thrusting into your mouth. At Sarah’s direction you switch between sucking on what you can fit in your mouth and running your tongue along his length and around his tip. After a few minutes he pulls you off of him and sits up so he can press his lips to yours and you share a kiss so messy you can feel your teeth clashing against his.

“You did so good, baby,” he says in your ear before nipping at your neck and pulling away. He turns to Sarah and kisses her before pulling her onto his lap. He reaches down, and in a move so practiced and smooth that you almost miss it, he slides inside her. They both throw their heads back, moaning as they come together before sharing a moment of eye contact. You realize he’s checking in that she’s okay before they start to move together. You’re fascinated by what’s playing out in front of you. Sure, you’re turned on, but you’re more curious to watch than participate. That doesn’t mean they’re okay with you being left out, and they make sure they each have a hand somewhere on your body the whole time. You watch Sarah fall apart, Mitch following right after.

You all collapse onto the bed, a jumble of limbs, bright smiles on everyone’s faces. You’re once again surprised at how right this feels. You fall asleep with your head on Sarah’s chest, hand clasped with Mitch’s over her.

The next day you again wake up first. You slide out of bed, throw on some clothes, and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and reflect on the night before. You think about how safe they make you feel and how patient they are teaching you about intimacy. You’ve been so scared about being physical with someone that you thought it might never happen. But now you think back to how gentle Mitch was with Sarah, how he made sure to check in with her, and you start to think that you might be ready to have that as well.

Mitch and Sarah join you in the kitchen and you make them tea as well. As you set the mugs down Mitch’s phone starts to ring with an incoming FaceTime call. You glance at it and are surprised to see that it’s Harry calling. Harry Styles. Somehow you had yet to interact with him at all even though you’d been hanging out with his best friends for weeks.

Mitch answers the call and starts talking to Harry. Sarah quietly laughs at the look of panic on your face. You take some deep breaths, forcing yourself to stop fangirling before you somehow make a fool of yourself in the background of the call. You’ve just managed to contain your excitement when Mitch pulls you over to officially introduce you to Harry. You learn that he does know who you are, and Mitch and Sarah have apparently been talking about you to their friends.

It’s a short call, Harry had just wanted to check in on everyone and soon they hang up. Breakfast that morning is simple, everyone pouring a bowl of cereal and you discuss what to do that day.

“Do you still want to hear some of Mitch’s new music?” Sarah asks and you answer with an enthusiastic, “Of course I do!”

After everyone showers and gets ready for the day, you all drive over to the studio. Mitch plays two of the songs he’s working on, and you listen closely, watching in amazement as he sings the songs he wrote himself.

“I was wondering if you could help me with something,” he says timidly after you compliment him on his music.

“Sure, what is it?” you reply.

“I’ve got some ideas for guitar harmonies and want to test them out against the melody. If I tell you the chord progression, would you be able to play melody so I can see if it all works together?”

“Yes, absolutely.” He teaches you what to play and you spend the next couple of hours working on his songs, fascinated to see what goes on behind the scenes.

When you all start to get hungry you leave the studio to pick up sandwiches for lunch. You mention a walking trail nearby that has great views and you decide to take your lunch there. It’s a short walk to the first outlook and you settle there to eat. You ask Mitch and Sarah about their childhoods, wanting to know more about them. You continue your questions after lunch when you’re all walking towards the waterfall at the end of the trail.

When you reach it, Sarah starts taking pictures, including a selfie of the three of you which she immediately sends you. You’ll later make that your phone background, but no one needs to know that.

You start walking back and Mitch says, “So, I was thinking we could all go to Bella Luna’s tonight for dinner.”

You’ve heard of Bella Luna’s before. It’s one of the nicer restaurants in town. Ryan’s parents have gone there a couple of times for date nights, and you know it’s viewed as highly romantic.

“Oh, I’ve heard great reviews about that place,” Sarah replies with a cheeky smile. You nod and agree and spend the rest of the afternoon wondering what this fancy dinner might mean.

Back home everyone starts getting ready. Mitch informs you that the reservation is set for 6PM and you wonder when he set that up, as he hadn’t been on his phone at all that day aside from talking to Harry. You also realize that they both had fancy clothes packed and wonder if they had planned this ahead of time.

You walk out of your bathroom after getting changed, smoothing down your dress and fiddling with your hair to make sure it’s lying just right. You look up and see Mitch and Sarah staring at you.

Sarah walks over and places her hands on your hips, saying, “You look amazing,” before pulling you in for a kiss. “You look amazing too,” you reply after breaking apart. Mitch walks up to you saying, “You both look beautiful,” and you each kiss and compliment him as well.

You have a wonderful time at dinner. The conversation flows naturally, and the food is delicious. There’s never an awkward silence, and you realize how compatible you all are in every way.

Once back at your apartment, the evening goes like the one before and you find yourselves again out on the deck. Instead of you sitting on the chair, Mitch immediately pulls you on the loveseat with him and Sarah, and you’re sat half in each of their laps.

“Dinner tonight was delicious, thank you for taking me there,” you say.

“Of course, love,” Sarah replies. “We needed to make our first date special.”

At the word date you quickly turn to her, a shocked and confused expression on your face. You knew they cared about you, knew they were interested in you physically, but hadn’t dared to hope for the relationship to take this turn.

No one has ever expressed interest in you this way before, and here are two wonderful people wanting to bring you into their relationship. Two people who had everything they could want, but still opened themselves up to another person.

“We really care about you, Y/N,” Mitch says, and you turn to look at him. “Not just in a friendly or familial way. We care about you the way we care about each other.” Sarah is nodding in agreement, and you reply, “I care about you both too. More than anyone else.”

“I know this won’t necessarily be easy,” Sarah says. “It’s a complicated dynamic, especially with us being so well known publicly. But Y/N, we want to be with you. We want you as part of our relationship. Would you like that too?”

“I would. I really would. I know it’ll be difficult, and we’ll have to keep it a secret, but I want a relationship with you both. Being with you two just feels right in a way nothing ever has before.”

“We feel the same way,” Mitch replies.

They each press a kiss to your lips before sharing one with each other. The three of you sit there in an embrace, and the fact that you’re in a relationship sinks in. You can’t help the huge smile that breaks out on your face.

“What is it?” Mitch asks, noticing your expression.

“Nothing,” you reply. “I’m just really, really happy.”

“We are too,” Sarah says and meets you for another kiss. Mitch turns you towards him and he quickly deepens the kiss. This time you don’t get lost in the feeling, too lost in your thoughts of what you want to happen next.

Mitch notices your hesitance and pulls away asking, “What’s wrong, baby?”

You shiver at the nickname, holding one of his hands in yours and fidgeting with his fingers while building up the nerve to tell him what you’re thinking.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just. There’s something I want to do. And it makes me really nervous, but I think that I’m ready.” You pause a moment before continuing, “I know that I’m ready. To do this. With you.”

With the hand you’re not currently holding, Mitch cups your face to bring you to look at him. “Y/N, what is it you want to do?”

Even just saying the words feels impossible, not used to wanting this, let alone asking for it. “I, uhm, I want to- I’m ready to go all the way.”

He looks you in the eyes before asking, “Are you saying that you want to have sex with me?” You try to look away, somehow both embarrassed and turned on at the blunt way Mitch is clarifying your desires. “Because it’s absolutely okay if you do. I want to do that too. But only if you’re really ready,” he continues.

“I am,” you say firmly. “I’m ready. I’ve always been so scared of sex, but I saw the way you were with Sarah last night and, I dunno, I just know that you’d take care of me. I realized I don’t have to be scared with you. With either of you,” you finish, reaching one of your hands to rest on Sarah’s leg.

“Of course I’ll take care of you baby,” he says. “It’s all we want to do.” He leans in and presses his lips to yours, picking up where he left off a few minutes earlier. You feel like you’re too far away from him and move to straddle his lap. His hands immediately go to your waist, pulling you in so you’re flush against him.  

You feel his hard cock against you and begin to grow excited at the thought of what’s about to happen. He guides your arms around his neck and tells you to hold on tight. The next moment he stands from the couch, hands sliding to your bottom to support you so he can carry you inside. The three of you make your way to the bedroom, and Mitch lays you down on the bed, immediately crawling on top of you.

You get lost in the feeling of Mitch’s tongue stroking yours, on his hands sliding along your body. You tug on his shirt and break away to pull it off of him. He does the same to your dress and within minutes all of your clothes are on the floor. His fingers are at your entrance, slipping in one at a time to slowly open you up.  

You look over to see that Sarah is fully clothed and you pout. She notices your expression and says, “I’m okay love, I just want to watch tonight. This is a special moment for you.” You reach out your hand to hold on to hers and she passes something to Mitch before sliding her fingers between yours.

You hear a noise and look back to Mitch and realize what Sarah had handed him. He opens the condom wrapper and slips it on before running the head of his cock through your folds. He looks at you and asks, “Are you sure?” Without hesitating you tell him you’re sure, that you want this.

He lines himself up and starts to push in. You gasp at the stretch and squeeze Sarah’s hand. Mitch leans down to pepper kisses and love bites along your neck as Sarah runs her free hand on your stomach. You focus on those feelings as Mitch continues to push in, checking that you’re okay throughout.

Finally, he’s flush against you, letting out a loud groan in your ear at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Tears leak out of your closed eyes and you’re unsure if they’re from the uncomfortable pressure of being filled for the first time or from the overwhelming emotions running through you.

Sarah wipes away the tears, leaning in to quietly say, “You’re doing so well, love.” After a moment of letting you adjust, Mitch checks in again to see how you’re feeling, and if you want him to continue or pull out.

“Keep going, I’m good, please, you can keep going,” you tell him in a breathy voice you’ve never heard from yourself before.

He starts to move, slow thrusts at first before building up a rhythm after he’s sure you’re ready for more. It doesn’t take long to switch from uncomfortable pressure to intense pleasure. You’re still holding one of Sarah’s hands in yours and she uses her free hand to rub circles on your clit. You’re lost in the sensations, Mitch inside you, Sarah adding to the pleasure, both of their lips leaving kisses all over your body. It all builds until you come with a loud moan, clenching around Mitch. It’s an intense feeling, one that causes you to see stars, and you’re only vaguely aware of Mitch reaching his orgasm just after you.

They both slow down before stilling completely. Mitch tucks his face into your neck saying, “I’m gonna pull out now, okay babe?” You nod and he slowly pulls out as Sarah presses more kisses to the top of your head.

Mitch gets off the bed and you whimper and reach for him, not wanting him to be far away from you. “Shh, love,” Sarah says gently. “He’ll be right back; he’s just gone to get a cloth to clean up.”

A moment later he’s back and uses a damp washcloth to clean between your legs. He slips on a pair of boxers and places a large t-shirt on the bed for you. You know he’s giving you the option to put it on if you’d like but not pressuring you to, and you realize how well he already knows what will make you most comfortable. You slip on the shirt as he climbs in bed next to you. As you curl into his side, Sarah gets up and you pout again but refrain from grabbing for her as well. She changes into pajamas and gets back under the covers, holding you tightly.

You fall asleep almost immediately, missing the whispered conversation between the other two.

“How are you feeling?” Mitch asks her. He knew they had talked previously about the possibility of you and Mitch having sex, but he still wanted to make sure Sarah didn’t feel any different after seeing it happen.

“Honestly?” She replies. “I feel great. Y/N said it earlier, it just feels right. Watching the two of you together was mesmerizing, and beautiful. I think I may have fallen even more in love with you.” He grabs her hand and squeezes gently. You stir in their arms, turning towards Sarah and tucking your face into her neck. They share a smile over you and fall asleep as well.

Shockingly, you’re the last one awake the next morning. When you do finally wake up, you realize you’re sprawled on top of Mitch, clinging to him. He’s running his fingers through your hair, and you feel so content you almost fall back asleep. Before you do, Sarah walks in with a tray full of food. You climb off of Mitch to sit in the middle of the bed and Sarah sets down the tray before sitting next to you.

You rest your head on her shoulder and she says, “Good morning love. You feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling absolutely wonderful,” you reply with a shy smile. You glance at Mitch and see he’s looking at you with a similarly fond expression. “I’m also suddenly starving,” you continue. “This looks amazing!”

They laugh at your enthusiasm for breakfast, and you all start to dig in.

“What would you like to do today,” Mitch asks.

“Nothing. I want to do nothing today. I want to stay here with the two of you and have a movie marathon or binge TV and just cuddle.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” he replies.

And that’s what the three of you do. At lunch time you switch to hanging out in the living room instead of the bedroom, but that’s the extent of your effort for the day. They end up staying that night as well, brushing their teeth beside you in the bathroom before bed, and you revel in how domestic it feels.

They wake up bright and early with you the next morning and make sure to get their goodbye kisses before you all leave the apartment together. You drop them off in their driveway on your way to work and they each give you a quick hug before going inside the house.

You turn the car around and pull into Ryan’s driveway and sit in there for a moment before going into the house. You give yourself a couple minutes to think about the past few days, smiling and letting out a giggle when you can no longer contain the pure joy you feel.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I'm excited for the next part, we're finally adding Harry to the mix soon!

Taglist:@akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby

#harry styles x reader #mitch rowland x reader #mitch rowland x sarah jones x reader #sarah jones x reader #mitch rowland x harry styles #sarah jones x mitch rowland x reader

[tngrace]

Chapter 3

Hope 31..... nough said 🤭 😭 This one hurts... but man did I have fun writing this chapter and the next. I also figured out how I'm going to write the last chapter this week so hopefully in the next two weeks I'll get it written. and then it'll be on to part two. Hope yall enjoy and Happy Easter weekend.

A03 ; Tumblr Masterlists: Main, Mav Chronicles

The weekend is fun and relaxing and just what they needed. Watching Pete with Bradley is a true treat and makes Tom wish for things he knows will probably never be. They head into Monday morning refreshed and ready to go, none of them realizing what’s to come.

The second hop of the day is intense, Mav and Ice going up against each other, essentially sealing the winner of the trophy. Though neither of them really care at this point, would be happy for the other, they’re both still very competitive and determined to win. They go back and forth for the kill, their voices getting more intense and annoyed the longer it goes, more argumentative and impatient. But neither expected the jet wash or the flat spin. 

“Mayday! Mayday! Mav’s in trouble. He’s in a flat spin. He’s heading out to sea!” His voice is calm and controlled but there’s a slight tremor there as he watches. 

He and Slider see the two parachutes, but they know something’s wrong. He circles over head, refusing to leave, even when Jester orders them back. 

“Ice,” Slider says after ten minutes of circling, watching Mav and Goose in the water. 

“I’m not leaving. We don’t know how long search and rescue will take to get here. They’ll need the coordinates as Mav floats.” 

Slider doesn’t push. They both had seen how Goose had hit the canopy, how his body floated listlessly down, how Mav had pulled him into his arms and Goose still didn’t move. Ice keeps circling, and ever so often it looks like Mav looks up at them, but they can’t be sure. 

“Ice, Slider, back to base. SAR is two minutes out.” Viper’s voice is firm over their radio, and finally Ice acknowledges and turns them towards base. He doesn’t say a word on the return flight, leaving Slider worried. 

Mike's heart is in his throat when he hears the mayday call come in. He dispatches search and rescue immediately and grips his hands in tight fists as he waits. He hears Jester order Ice and Slider back to base, but he still doesn't move. He wants to be a dad in this moment but he can't. He has to be a Commander and it's killing him. 

He sees Jester’s plane land, and he takes a deep breath, and then another one. He dials Carrie; "Metcalf's," she answers. 

"I'm going to be late." He doesn't know what else to say without breaking down, but he has to tell her. 

"Mike? What's wrong?" 

"There…." He cuts off, choking back a sob. He breathes deep before he continues. "There was an accident during training. I'll be at the base hospital most of the night." 

"Is everyone ok?"

"I don't know yet. I just…. Waiting on SAR right now. I…"

"Mike?"

"It was Pete," he breathes. He hears her breath catch and he'd love nothing more than to hug her. "I…. I can't go there as…. And you can't…"

"Mike. You call me the minute you lay eyes on him! You hear me? I have to know…" He can hear the hysteria in her voice and he’d love to let her come check on Pete for herself, but he knows they can’t. 

"I will… I will… I just… I have to be detached and I just…"

"I know. Just breathe. You can do this. But you let me know our boy's ok."

He takes another ten deep breaths after hanging up. When he sees that Ice and Slider still haven’t landed, he orders them back to base as well. He’s not sure what is going on with Tom and Pete, but he knows it’s something. Once he sees their plane heading for the landing strip, he pulls himself together and heads to the hangar where he knows the class will have gathered. “You’re dismissed for the day. SAR will take them straight to the base hospital and we’ll let you know when there’s an update.” 

“Can we wait there?” Wolf asks.

“Of course. But you might be waiting a while.” He takes in all their faces and knows he’ll be seeing them all at the hospital. “Dismissed.” 

They scatter, and Mike rakes his hand through his hair. He’d kill for one of Rick’s cigarettes at that moment, but he knows the hospital won’t allow him to have it inside anyways. He makes the trek over, bracing for the worst while hoping for the best. He’s not sure what he’ll do if something happened to his own kid under his watch. 

A nurse greets him as soon as he enters; “Sir.” He gives her a nod to continue because he’s not sure if he can speak right now. “Lieutenant Mitchell is going to be fine. He has some severe bruising, mild concussion and is currently in shock, but overall he will make a full recovery.” 

Mike blows out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “And Bradshaw?” 

The nurse stops their trek down the hall and Mike tenses once more. “I’m sorry Sir. Lieutenant Bradshaw didn’t make it. His neck was broken and likely died upon impact, we assume he hit the canopy. Lieutenant Mitchell hasn’t offered up any details on what happened as of yet, so the doctor is just making assumptions.” 

“Has Bradshaw’s wife been informed?” 

“Not yet, no. We were waiting to see who you wanted to designate to do that.” 

“I’ll handle it,” Mike decides. “Can I see Mitchell?” 

“Of course. Right this way.” She shows him to Pete’s room, and Mike pauses, gathering the strength to push the door open. When he does, he feels the breath knocked out of him once more. Pete looks so small in the bed, eyes closed, but Mike knows he’s not asleep. 

The nurse leaves him with it, and Mike quietly closes the door behind him. Pete’s eyes snap open at the sound of the door closing, and when they meet Mike’s, he quickly turns his head the other way. 

He pulls up a chair beside the bed, and tentatively reaches out for Pete’s hand that has an IV in it. He can see where Pete has picked at the tape around it, and it brings a small smile to his face as he smooths it back out. Some things with his kid will never change, he thinks. “Pete?” 

Pete turns his head back towards him, tears shining in his eyes, but he keeps them from falling. 

“I’m not going to ask you if you’re ok because I know you’re not.” He pauses as he watches Pete just staring at him. “I told mom. She’d be here if she could, you know.” 

“I know,” he croaks in a whisper. 

Mike squeezes his hand tighter once more. “You’re not ok right now, but you will be…. You will be.” 

Pete turns away again and Mike sighs. “We have to be even more careful now, so this is the only time I can offer you any form of comfort kiddo. There’s going to be an inquiry; they’ll let me know the date tomorrow.” Pete still won’t meet his eyes and Mike feels like they’re back at day one when they brought home a scared nine year old that didn’t trust them. “Pete? You know I love you son. But I need you to know that right now and for the next however long it takes to get the brass off our backs, I can’t be ‘dad’. No matter how bad I want to be.” 

Pete gives him a tentative nod, and Mike can’t resist any longer. He leans over and pulls Pete into his arms, into his chest. He resists at first, but the first hint of Mike’s cologne and Pete breaks. The sobs break Mike’s heart even more, and he just holds him. He murmurs soft innate words of comfort as his son breaks in his arms. It takes several, several long minutes before Pete starts settling, his sobs turning to quiet sniffles, before he eventually just goes silent. 

Mike softly strokes his back as he keeps holding him. “I’ll try to sneak mom in after hours ok?” 

He knows Carrie isn’t going to rest with just his reassurance that Pete is ok, and he knows Pete really needs her at this moment. Pete gives a small nod before his whispered words destroy what is left of his broken heart. “Just don’t get in trouble for me.” 

Mike pulls Pete’s head off his chest and stares into Pete’s eyes. “We’d do anything for you and you know it kiddo. If it comes down to a choice between you and the Navy…” Pete tries to interrupt him, but Mike just keeps talking. “If it does, I’m choosing you every time kiddo. Every. Single. Time.” 

“Mike…” 

“I mean it Pete. You are my son, my kid, and if the Navy doesn’t like it, they can go fuck themselves. You matter Pete. I love you son.” 

“Love you too dad,” he whispers as he falls back into Mike’s chest. 

Mike lets out a deep breath at that. Pete isn’t ok, but he’ll make sure he is, no matter what he has to do. 

After several minutes of letting Pete resettle he has the horrible task of making Pete recount what happened. It’s the most detached he’s ever heard his kid, and it strengthens his resolve to sneak Carrie in to see him later. Once he’s sure he has everything Pete can recall, he squeezes his hand once more. “Try to get some rest. I can keep the others out if you want?” 

“Na. It’s fine. I’m sure they need to see with their eyes I’m fine. Especially Ice and Slider.” 

“Alright. I’ll let them know.” He leans close in case anyone can hear; “I’ll get mom in here later. That’s a promise.” 

Pete gives him a weak nod. They both know what a risk it is, but he’d do it over and over for Pete. He gives him a nod and then heads for the door, with one glance back at his son. 

Mike’s not surprised to find the six aviators waiting in the waiting room. They all jump up as soon as they see him, and Mike pulls himself together. “Mitchell is going to be fine. Some bruises that will heal in time and a mild concussion. He’ll be discharged tomorrow.” 

He sees a small relief flow through the group, and he knows what he says next will cause it to vanish. 

“Bradshaw on the other hand, is… dead. Broke his neck on the canopy as soon as he hit. I’m going to inform his wife now.” 

The six aviators before him are deathly quiet, grief written across all their faces. 

“Can we see Mav?” Wolfe finally breaks the silence. 

Mike gives them a nod. “He’s pretty detached, still in shock. He’s resting, but he said it would be fine for all of you to visit. Probably do him some good to not be alone right now. Classes are dismissed for the rest of the week. When arrangements have been made, you’ll be the first to know.” He gives them a nod of dismissal and takes his leave. 

The six aviators scurry down the hall to Mav’s room. Wolf and Wood are through the door first, just barely squeezing in before Chipper and Sunny. Ice stands at the door for a long moment just breathing, trying to prepare, and Slider waits with him squeezing his shoulder. Tom wants nothing more than to race in and scoop Pete into his arms, but he knows he can’t. Once he lays eyes on his boyfriend, who’s barely engaging with the other four, he leans in the corner just watching. He can see Pete’s eyes trail over to him ever so often, and he finally sees when Slider realizes they need to go. Tom gives him a nod of thanks, and promises to get back to their base housing later, before Ron turns and ushers everyone out. 

Once he’s sure they’re gone, he walks over and settles on the side of Pete’s bed. His hand ghosts over Pete’s forehead, brushing the hair back. “Hey,” he whispers. 

Pete can’t speak, too choked up holding back tears. 

“Come here,” Tom whispers, easing down and helping Pete sit up some and lean into his arms. He holds him as tight as he dares, knowing under the gown Pete will be covered in bruises too painful to be held too tight. “I’m so sorry,” Tom whispers over and over as Pete sobs in his arms. He finally exhausts himself even more, and Tom can feel him drift off. He eases Pete back to the bed and covers him up. He sits and watches him sleep, knowing the coming days, weeks, and months are going to be hell, and wonders if Pete will blame him, wonders if this will be the end of them. Once Pete is deep asleep, Tom takes his leave, knowing he can’t stay any longer without them being found out. 

After talking with Carole, he finally makes it home; it’s late enough he knows he’ll just be leaving as soon as he’s through the door though. Carrie is waiting on him at the door just as he suspected, and he pulls her into his arms. “He’s going to be ok. Just some bruising and a mild concussion. He was still in shock earlier. I…” He feels her squeeze him tighter and he lets out a soft sigh. “I promised to sneak you in. He needs you.” 

“Do we tell the girls?” 

“Not yet. Sneaking you in is going to be hard enough. I don’t need Catherine leaving Cynthia and banging down the hospital door or Jamie freaking out.” 

Carrie gives him a soft huff of a laugh. “Alright. Let me get my purse and we can go.” 

Once at the hospital, Mike nods to the night nurses, but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t see any of the class in the waiting room, and assuming they’re not still with Pete, they should be at home. He stops right outside Pete’s room and tries to listen for any voices, but doesn’t hear any. He pushes the door open just a hair, and sees it empty, Pete just lying in the bed staring off into space. 

He turns back and gives Carrie a nod, before pushing the door open further for her to slip past him. He closes the door behind them, but stays near it, so he can run interference if anyone comes to it. As soon as she’s by his side, she sits on the side of the bed and pulls Pete into her arms. 

“Mom,” he cries as he clings to her, and it breaks Mike’s heart even more. Carrie just hugs him tight, her hand running up and down his back and into his hair. 

When Pete has finally exhausted himself of tears, he whispers “I killed him,” effectively tearing both his parents’ hearts out. 

Mike moves across the room at that statement, joining Carrie on the side of the bed. He eases Pete back from her hold and cradles his face. “Look at me son.” 

Pete slowly meets his eyes, unable to ignore the firm demand in Mike’s voice. “You did not kill Nick. You did not kill him. You hear me?” 

“I did though. He was my RIO, my responsibility.” 

“Pete…” 

Carrie cuts him off though, knowing that Pete isn’t going to believe a word of any argument at the moment. She cradles Pete’s cheek and kisses his forehead. “You need to get some sleep sweetheart.” 

“Don’t think I can,” he sighs. He knows he’d fallen asleep on Tom, but it doesn’t feel like he slept long at all before a nightmare gripped him. When he’d woken and been alone, he laid there staring off into space, knowing sleep would be hard to come by. 

“Try. We’ll stay til you’re asleep,” she promises. 

She gets him to ease back against the bed, and softly runs her fingers through his hair. It’s the fastest way to settle Pete; they'd learned the first time the kid hadn’t gotten sick after coming to live with them. She keeps it up until his eyes drift, and even after until he’s deep asleep. 

“He’s going to be ok,” Mike reassures her as they watch him sleep for a few more minutes. They don’t linger long though, despite Carrie wanting to stay.

The next morning, the inquiry information is waiting on Mike the minute he steps on base. He goes through Mav’s file one more time to make sure nothing of their connection is hidden in there, even though he knows the file like the back of his hand. When he’s sure everything is good, he makes the trek over to the base hospital to deliver the news about the inquiry. From here on he knows everything has to be above board until the brass is done sniffing around. 

When he walks into Pete’s room, he’s surprised to see him not there. He has a moment of panic before one of the nurses points him towards the bathroom down the hall. He gives her a nod and heads in. Mav is leaning heavily on the sink, but he somehow managed to shave. Mike catalogs the bruising along his chest and shoulders from his harness that he wasn’t able to see yesterday because of the gown. He knows there’s probably some along his thighs as well, he just can’t see them. He wants so badly to pull his kid into his arms and never let go, but they also have more eyes on them now more than ever. He just has to be careful, not show emotion or favoritism, he keeps reminding himself, and they’ll get through this. He calls on all his years in the service to keep it together as he meets his kids' eyes. He doesn’t like what he sees; Pete’s eyes have always been alive and full of mischief. They always shine and sparkle so bright. But right now, they are dead, lifeless, emotionless, same as yesterday.”How you doing?” he manages to ask.

“I’m alright.” It’s rough and so much quieter than Pete normally talks it throws Mike for a minute. He spins and meets Pete’s eyes in the mirror trying to portray that he has to be a Commander at the moment. 

“Goose is dead.” Internally he winces at how straightforward and harsh he has to be, and he knows the minute Carrie finds out, she is going to be livid. But they all knew when Pete joined up, that a time like this might come, and Pete told him then, as a bright eyed eighteen year old, that he’d never hold it against him. 

“I know.” His eyes drop back to the sink, hand splashing more water onto his face, and Mike can see he’s barely holding it together. He wants to tell him to come home with him, let Carrie mother him to death, but he bites it all back. Seeing her last night is going to have to be enough for now. Pete runs another hand over his face, and takes some deep breaths. Mike recalls words one of his former COs told him after Duke died. At the time he hated it, and he knows Pete is going to hate being told the same thing, but he needs to say it. “You fly jets long enough, something like this happens.” 

“He was my RIO, my responsibility!” It’s an echo of his statement last night and Mike knows the guilt is eating him alive. He knows he’s going to have to work hard to get Pete to let it go, if that will even be possible. He knows Goose was like a brother to him; that Carole and Goose both welcomed Pete into their family. But he can’t see his kid drown in grief, not if he can help it. 

“In my squadron in Vietnam, we lost eight of eighteen aircraft. Ten men. First one dies, you die too. But there will be others. You can count on it. You gotta let him go.” His hand touches his side, draws across his back, offering as much comforting touch as he can in that moment. “You gotta let him go.”  He knows it's harsh, hates the words coming out of his own mouth, but as a Commander, it’s what you’re supposed to say. 

Pete’s eyes are hard as they stare at him despite being red rimmed, but Mike does his best to let it roll off his back. “Your inquiry hearing is scheduled for two days from now at 0800. Jester and I will be there. I don’t see any reasons why you won’t be cleared and can return to finish the program before graduation.” 

Pete doesn’t say anything and won’t meet his eyes again. He walks away even though it kills him too. He passes Tom in the parking lot and he knows he was right about something going on between the two. He gives the Lieutenant a nod, wants to pull him to the side and threaten him if he so much as dares to break Pete in any way. But he knows he can’t, so he keeps walking and just hopes Tom will be able to get through to his kid. 

Tom finds Pete back in his room, trying to dress. “Can I help?” he asks from the doorway. 

Pete gives him a nod and Tom comes over, helping him pull his shirt down. The bruising looks worse today, and his body is stiff and achy. He’s refused anymore pain pills though and just wants to leave. “I saw Viper leaving.” 

“Mmm yea. Stopped by to give me the information for the inquiry hearing.” 

“It wasn’t your fault Pete.” 

“Let’s not. I don’t… I just want to get out of here.” 

Tom bites back all his retorts that Pete needs to talk about this and just gives him a nod. “Carole and Bradley are at the base housing. I can take you there.” 

Pete gives him another nod, and follows Tom out the door. Once in the car, the silence is almost unbearable. “Pete…” Tom starts when they’re in front of the housing, but stops when Pete cuts his eyes at him.  

“Might be best if we just had some space right now. You don’t need messed up in this hearing too.” 

“I have to be there because I was in the air with you.” 

“Better to be safe than sorry.” 

Tom wants to argue, wants to push that Pete doesn’t need to do this or push everyone away, but his own guilt is eating him alive. Thus, he’d do anything Pete asks. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” 

Pete won’t meet his eyes so Tom knows he’s lying. “I just want him back,” Pete says softly before he gets out. He closes the door and doesn’t look back. 

Tom watches him go, his heart breaking, but knowing he will give Pete anything. He watches until Pete is inside the door before driving off. 

#my writing #maverick chronicles #icemav #icemav fic #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #nick goose bradshaw #mike viper metcalf #vipapa #top gun #tg #top gun fic #tg fic #MCD

[maylorscardigan]

Reputation & TS11.

do you think Taylor will announce or drop Reputation in a few days? Do you think we will see TS 11 soon? I’m curious what your thoughts are with these because there’s been a lot of speculation with it lately. I don’t think she would do 1989 TV dirty like that. Please… thoughts.

*mumbles under breath*

NO.

I do not think we are getting Reputation as an announcement or as a drop this weekend. 1989TV is quite literally her most successful album debut of her career. She is NOT going to disrespect that album by doing that. 1989 TV / SV is her baby. It’s the album that changed her entire career.

So no.

Besides - anyone who truly knows anything about Reputation knows that she is not going to make it obvious. That’s the entire point of Reputation. It’s like the Reputation fans who thought she wasn’t actually going to release 1989 TV and just drop Reputation instead. There are so so so many things that would have gone wrong with that.

SNTV got a short period because when you look at it… while it didn’t have a long Era like Red TV or Fearless TV… it got A LOT. It got a night dedicated to it with the guest appearances and the music video etc. Red and Fearless were released outside of the Eras tour so they got a longer stretch. That being said - she is giving 1989 TV longer.

When she announced 1989 TV she performed “New Years Day” from Reputation and that in itself could be an Easter Egg. If she was going to stick to the 112 day thing then she could announce Reputation on New Years Day and release it for February 16th, 2024. This would give it 46 days of promotion before a release.

Is it possible she just drops Reputation on New Years? No. It’s a Monday. Not to mention a holiday. Logistics nightmare if you ask me.

I am to laugh my ass off if the next album announced is Debut, closing with Reputation towards the end of the tour. Why? It’s exactly something that Taylor would do. Reputation Taylor at least. But I won’t get into my theories as to why I think Debut could be coming next.

As for TS 11…. I don’t see it coming before Eras wraps. The entire concert if designed around her first 10 albums. A LOT would need to be cut and redone to fit a new album into the concert. Not to mention all the work that has already gone into it with the movie and all that. She has a year left of touring with 2024. Two re-records to still get released. She is finishing off the Eras tour with those released then anything going forward will be TS11 and beyond. Releasing TS 11 during Eras would be such a bad business decision. New Albums deserve their own time. Just like Midnights had separate from the tour.

I think fans have become extremely greedy. She dropped two albums in a year with folklore and evermore because there was literally a pandemic going on and she had nothing else to do. Fans want all the re-records on top of each other. They want a new album - all while a world tour is going on. Like… come on guys. She is Taylor Swift, yes. She’s a bit of a super hero. I get it. But she’s still human all the same. Stop demanding so much from her all the time.

Since 2020, we have gotten:

• folklore

• evermore

• fearless tv

• red tv

• midnights

• speak now tv

• 1989 tv.

That is SIX albums. And fans just want more and more and more and more. Other artists… they’ve released one… maybe two if you’re really lucky. Some of released none and are working on one now. You also complain that the sound between 1989 tv and Midnights is too similar but you want TS 11 and Reputation like right now yet if it sounds similar you’ll complain about that… give it a rest and be THANKFUL fans for getting 6 albums in under 3.5 years AND a massive world tour with a three and a half hour show.

Disagree? Cool.

But the vultures need to back off.

((Note: when I say you in the post I do not mean the anonymous directly. I’m speaking about fans in general))

#taylor swift #anon #swifties #eras taylor swift #fearless #fearless tv #red #red tv #speak now taylor’s version #speak now #speak now tv #fearless taylor’s version #red taylor’s version #1989 #1989 tv #1989 taylor's version #reputation #reputation taylor’s version #taylor swift taylor's version #reputation tv #taylor swift tv #the eras tour #taylor swift eras

[tammyfeabakker]

Its Monday again. I had a great birthday weekend. We watched... pepsi,where's my jet?On Netflix I recommend it. Then we watched love on the spectrum and down for love. I wait months to watch the new seasons. My Chloe and Emily. My Chloe went back home. As much as I'm so happy to see her. I was so sad when she left. The loneliness. The tears. I don't cry much when I do. Its jus painful. I miss her so much. I have to tend to my merlin and peaches. I jus can't pick up and go anymore. They jus can't pick up and leave they have responsibilities. It takes months before I see her again. I crave championship. I tried online dating. But I don't think I want that kind of a relationship. I jus want my kids back. Its been years. I'm still not over it. Why do I have to be the one. That will never get over the empty nest syndrome. They say you get over it or you don't. I didn't probably never will. My Chloe is my soulmate. Soulmates come in many different ways animals kids mothers dads aunts uncles friends... not only man and woman relationships. But all kinds. Chloe was my champion from the time she was born. I loved her with everything I had. We went everywhere together up until she was 24. She never slept out. She was always home. I never never never had a problem with her. What a great kid. I feel like the universe tortures me. I have no idea what I did to deserve this continued pain. Of her growing up moving on. She jus moved to far. I don't know how to spend jus a day with her. Has to be days. Its so hard to let her go. I watch the Simmons3. Bout a mother lost her 3 kids in a drunk driver accident. I want to tell that woman. Not only does she help keep drunk drivers off the street. But she helps me feel better. Its sad I know. But the empty nest syndrome. You grieve like they are gone. You grieve... you jus don't cry you grieve. The first couple years I cried everywhere everyday. I tried to tell myself I still have my kids. They are alive and well doing what I instilled in them growing up. Independent women. My cats do every thing they can. We are here for you momma. Please don't cry. They take the pieces put me back together. They know when I'm sinking. They stick to me like glue. My job is starting to suck now too. We use to be able to take the hours...if we finished up early. But now that ended. I pile up my targets looks like I'm working 10 hours. Jus for my boss to come in say can you handle that? I say yes because I'm doing in it 4. Only to take work from me. Because she doesn't think I can handle it. But I'm not really working it. That fucking easter cart been out set up for months now. Don't adjust the time on it jus act like its not out. We have to make it up somehow. Considering the wear and tear on our cars and phones. But I still like my job. Gift card resets are coming up again. The managers love me because I jus throw them out. Everyone I work with is a joy. Molly is a joy. We try to get together so if I have a job. Thats insane I call Molly. 5 hours of awesome. We talk laugh. I keep telling her she's to good for this. She incredibly smart. The girl is gifted. She's jus this little thing talks me down when I start to loose it. The gift cards are a nightmare. I start my shit. She knows how to deal with me. We are soulmates. She sees the little things I see the big picture. We both suffer depression its like therapy to us. Start my day now. Thanks for listening. I tell ya one thing bout Tumblr. Even though we don't talk. No matter how far I go no matter how long im gone. You know who you are. You never leave me. Thanks for the devotion it truly means alot to me oxoxox.

[sunmontuewrites]

EPIC LONG WEEKEND PLANS!

So - this long weekend is the anniversary of my fandom username SunMonTue (short for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday), because where I work we get Tuesday off work following Easter. ~14 years ago I spent these entire three days reading fanfic. So it's an anniversary of sorts.

This weekend I am aiming to write >25k, along with doing some socialising and baking and making yummy foods (hot cross buns, beef bourguignon and fried rice). And also start doing some exercise again because I have registered to do a 14km walk in October.

Onwards and upwards!

THURSDAY

Pick up groceries 5-6pm

3 loads of washing

Change sheets on bed

Go to work and do work...

Clean toilet

Write ~2k

Buy baby onions

Finish Easter egg hunt

Buy descaler from Mitre10

Cut strips for patchwork quilt

Sew 10 bandages

Turn all bandages inside out

Watch Sherlock episode

FRIDAY

2.45pm beauty appointment

Catchup with KD

Dinner with Dad

Write ~5k

3 loads of washing

Make beef bourguignon

Make hot cross bun dough

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Morning routine

Clean CPAP machine

Tidy fabric away in lounge

Sew strips

Sew 10 bandages

Thursday list

SATURDAY

Catchup with MM?

RT and RT coming for boardgames and dinner

3 1 loads of washing

Make hot cross buns (x4)

Fold 50 pieces of washing and put it away

Cook rice for fried rice

Write ~5k

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Morning routine

Sew strip binding onto quilt

Sew 18 bandages

Thursday list

Friday list

SUNDAY

Write ~5k

Go for a walk or dance for exercise

Catch up with SL in Miranda

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Make fried rice for dinner

Morning routine

Easter egg hunt with family

Thursday list

Friday list

Saturday list

MONDAY

Write ~5k

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Morning routine

Previous days lists

TUESDAY

Write ~5k

Go for a walk or dance for exercise

Breakfast / Lunch / Dinner

Morning routine

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

New Rule: Atheists Day | Real Time with Bill Maher

New rule: You shouldn't be able to talk about DEI anymore in America - DEI, that's diversity, equity and inclusion - without including atheists.

Atheists. We're approaching a third of the population now, I shouldn't have to beg for this, for God's sake. it's outrageous there are this many of us and there are still zero representation in government

Congress has 535 members and only a handful will even sheepishly admit they're "religiously unaffiliated."

The Supreme Court is two Protestants, one Jew, and six people more Catholic than the Pope.

And even intellectual presidents like Obama who admit to being secular humanists have to pretend to be religious. No one has been able to admit their shameful secret: "I don't believe in ghosts."

Next Sunday is Easter, so enjoy. Enjoy, if that's your thing, bunny rabbits that shit eggs to celebrate the Son of God. Whatever floats your Ark.

But it's not fair that people who belong to one of the big religions, they all get this cosmic personal day, where the world revolves around them. I mean, here we are in the middle of the great egg shortage, and yet next Sunday we're going to take the few eggs we have and hide them in the yard?

There's also now a movement for schools to officially recognize Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting, and I'm all for it or anything that gets our fat kids to eat less.

But while approximately three million Americans celebrate Ramadan, 100 million say they have no religion at all. What the fuck? Where's our day?

Is that really so much to ask that this many people get one day a year when we recommit ourselves to observable reality? One day with no atonement, no corpse reanimation, no fasting, no tree in your house, no big rock to circle, no dirt on your forehead, no candles to light and, please God, no fruitcakes.

Just a yearly three-day weekend to celebrate your deeply held belief that with Monday off you can drink on Sunday night. And get to sleep in because there is no place to gather to affirm we all believe the same shit, we know what we believe and what we don't believe. We don't need to rub elbows with other people who don't believe it too.

And we don't need to commercialize our holiday like all the other religions do. Atheist Day is about not buying something. Like virgin birth. I'm not buying it.

We have the numbers. We can do this. The fastest growing religious group in the United States are nones. No not the kind who used to beat you with a ruler for being left-handed. I mean people who, when asked how much they want to be involved with a religion, say none.

The unaffiliated share of the population, consisting of people who describe their religious identity as atheist, agnostic or nothing in particular, has risen from five percent in 1972, to 15 percent in 2005, to 32 percent today. You're welcome.

And lest you think it's only young educated white liberals, no. Just about everybody is losing their religion. Or as I call it, holy ghosting.

The average age of a none is 43. A third are people of color. A quarter voted for Trump. 70 percent don't have a four-year college degree. Millennials are the first generation that are less than a majority Christian. Their idea of hell is a coffee shop with no Wi-Fi.

When asked how often they go to church, 34 percent of younger Millennials answered "seldom/never" or "don't know." Don't know? Hey kids, going to church is like having an orgasm. If you didn't know you did, you didn't.

And that's another great thing about Atheist Day. You don't have to fake it. You don't even have to be an atheist to enjoy it, just like you don't have to be Christian to enjoy Christmas, I still love Christmas.

You don't have to be an atheist to celebrate Atheist Day. I'd like it to be the one day a year that the devout can get a little taste of what it's like to live your life without some mythical daddy figure judging and condemning you for being the exact person he made you.

Atheist Day should be a day for believers to stop and ask yourselves, why? Why? Why make up a being who's constantly disappointed in you? Yyou don't need it - you've got your wife. And your parents, your siblings, your co-workers, your trainer when you don't give a hundred and ten percent. There are plenty of people right here on Earth who will gladly make you feel like a lame, incompetent fuck up. Why make up one more? It's like adding an extra mother-in-law.

Why always be tormented? I better not make Baby Jesus cry. Why? Is he sitting behind you on a plane?

Wouldn't you like one day, one goddamn day in the year when, for 24 hours, you can tell your God to climb down off your ass? Because trying to please a man who's not there sets you up for a lifetime of misery. Just ask Tiffany Trump.

#Bill Maher #Real Time with Bill Maher #Atheist Day #atheism #rise of the nones #leaving religion #decline of religion #religion #christianity #Easter #Easter eggs #egg shortage #diversity equity and inclusion #diversity #equity #inclusion #religion is a mental illness

[theretirementstory]

07/04/2024. Today is my 14th day in hospital and it doesn’t look as if I will be going home just yet! I could wrong of course 😉.

As I am unable to get out and about to photograph the flooding that has been happening here or to take advantage of yesterdays warm sunny day when the mercury hit 27c! I decided to use “throwback photos” from places I have visited. The first photo is of “Temple Saint-Étienne” in Mulhouse, a city I visited in March 2022.

So it was Easter Day last Sunday and to celebrate we were given some appalling food which I returned untouched. The highlight of the lunchtime “plat” was the birds nest cake with jelly beans, it was delicious. In the evening there was a pastry square with chicken and mushroom and as much as I wasn’t going to eat it, it was rather tasty. It certainly beat a lot of the food we get here!

On Monday,we had coffee in the afternoon 😳 with a little cake and a couple of mini Easter eggs. Anie messaged and visited me bringing another couple of Easter eggs.

Everyday it seems that something else is low, red cells, white cells, platelets, potassium or blood pressure! I must admit by Wednesday I felt quite low myself. Asking why my body wasn’t working as it should? It turns out this is quite “normal” for the type of chemo I am having now (wish they had told me earlier). Anyway, a good talking to and I settled myself down, my positivity returned and I was “up there” again.

I now have provisional dates for my stay in the hospital in Paris. However, I really need to go home for a couple of days to get my case packed ready to take.

I have run out of reading materiel so I need more books. I have had to resort to reading the blog from inception December 2016. After two full days I am only at Xmas 2019. It’s interesting to look back on though, I must admit.

This week I have chosen two songs by someone I think has been very underrated. The songs go back to 1967 and 1968 respectively. Apparently the songwriter, Cat Stevens, sold this first song to P.P. Arnold for £30 and it became a big hit for Arnold as well as for other artists including Rod Stewart and Sheryl Crow, the song is “The First Cut Is The Deepest”.

The second song, written in 1967 and recorded by P.P. Arnold in 1968 is “Angel Of The Morning”. I must say I have loved both of these songs since first hearing them in the 60’s and was only too happy to sing them at any opportunity. However, I must admit it was much the same for lots of songs from those decades.

Pauline messaged last weekend, from Barcelona, where she is currently working. At some point over the Easter weekend she had her phone snatched out of her hand and the thief made off on an electric scooter. I imagine that was quite a shock! She, fortunately, had an old phone with her and just needed to buy a sim.

I have been messaging lots of people, French friends, English friends and catching up on “Hatched, Matched and Dispatched, unfortunately it is mainly now the “dispatched” that are known to me.

“The Photographer” had his daughter for the day on Tuesday. He sent me a photo of them waiting for the stately home they were going to visit, to open. They had such fun until my granddaughter fell in mud, all over her new leggings! She was worried Mummy would be unhappy, so they took a photo to let Mummy know what had happened. This weekend he has both of his children, it was wonderful to get photos of their happy smiling faces and then of my grandson catching “forty winks”. It was ok as Grand-mere has slept rather a lot today. Hope I sleep tonight! Last Monday “The Photographer” made the trip to Kings Lynn to photograph the home side v Scarborough AFC. At half-time the score was 3-0 and he felt sure Scarborough were going to be beaten, However, they pulled off an amazing feat to win 3-4. No-one saw that coming at half-time, absolutely brilliant!

“The Reconnect Navigator” is thrilled this week as she has now been given her own cases. She worked overtime one evening and so on Friday she had a 3pm finish which was great! Makes the weekend longer.

“The Trainee Solicitor” is feeling better about his job now. A new “young man” has joined the company and is working full-time. He hasn’t worked before so comes with no preconceived ideas (which is good), he is keen to work (always a plus point) and I think given time will be an asset to the firm. “The Trainee Solicitor” has applied for his Uni course and is hoping to get that done during May, June and July. It’s all positive steps. One thing that he messaged to me, really resonated with me and I thought it was a beautiful thing to say, he messaged “It doesn’t matter how long the road is, as long as you are walking it”. I was quite moved.

“The Jetsetter” is recharging her batteries ready for the next adventure. Not only that but you do need to work to have money to enjoy these jaunts. On Easter Sunday, she spent a lovely day with “The Photographer” around York. They took a photo of the house I once lived in. A view that was a favourite of mine when walking around the city walls and some photos of the Minster and the Clock Tower at the old Terry’s Chocolate Factory.

Monique and Ludivine (her daughter) have been messaging me, plus Nadine sent a message and said she will come and say “hello” on Monday or Tuesday. I messaged the ladies at the knitting workshop, it was thin on the ground, two at first then the 92 year old lady came for the cake and a drink. I am missing all of this but the treatment has to take priority.

My best friend from senior school messaged me yesterday to say that her mum had had a stroke. She is in hospital and I hope that is the best place for her. My friend is an only child who lost her father about eight years ago. Her mum is coming up 93 and although you “expect” things to happen due to age etc., it is still a shocking time because that person is your Mum. Thinking of them both ♥️.

I will leave you with this photo of the Cathedrale Saint-Christophe de Belfort . Thé photo was taken in February last year and I likened it to the Treasury at Petra due to the red hue.

Jusqu’à la semaine prochaine

#churches #france #photography #troyes #mulhouse #belfort #60’s music #York #family #friends #lovinglife #travel

[jeffhirsch]

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MoneyShow Easter Sale

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Rally Respite After Big Best Six Months Gains

Monday is the beginning of the last month of the “Best Six Months (BSM)” (November-April) for the Dow and S&P 500 – and what a banner one it’s been so far. From our Seasonal MACD Buy Signal on October 9, 2023, through the close on March 28, 2024, DJIA is up 18.46% and S&P 500 is up 21.19% – more than double the historical average BSM gains. Our Best Six Months Seasonal MACD Sell Signal can trigger anytime on or after the first trading day of April, which is Monday April 1st this year. NASDAQ’s Best 8 Months end in June, which is up 21.47% since our buy signal, not quite double the average but give it time.

The big rewards we have reaped this Best Six Months and year-to-date so far have not left much on the table until later this year. Risks are more elevated now. Sentiment continues to run high. Valuations are extended. Geopolitical tensions have not eased. And persistent inflation pressures have the Fed in no rush to cut rates. As the election campaign rhetoric heats up and the Best Six Months comes to a close be prepared to shift to a more cautious stance when we issue our Best Six Months Seasonal MACD Sell Signal. We do not expect a bear market or major correction. We do not Sell in May and go away. We sell some things, tighten stops and consider defensive positions if warranted.

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[theworldoffostering]

Sunday:

My life feels like a roller coaster.

Three of our kids were in a Christmas pageant at church this morning. I volunteered to help during rehearsals the past two weekends. The performance today was adorable and perfect as far as kid performances go. The kids were super cute, did a great job, and the whole thing lasted about 15 minutes.

We started attending church again in-person around Easter and are at a Lutheran church which is new for me. It is the most accepting church I have ever been in. The pastors are a husband/wife team and the church tends to be community engaged/involved which I love.

Then DD called and tried to ask how she could get her things “in the future” if she “wanted to move out.” She was nearly involuntarily committed last week because she’s so unstable so she thinks now would be a great time to “trade families” and move in with her friend who happens to live at home. What DD really means is she wants a living situation where she has zero accountability for her mental health or anything else. She’s dating her friend while also dating another person that her friend doesn’t know about and the dude she’s dating doesn’t know about the friend she’s sort of, kind of moved in with. She keeps all of her relationships hidden from every person in her life so she doesn’t have to be accountable to anyone for them. I told her I’d be willing to engage in that conversation with her when she was stable. Then she called back a few hours later and just straight out said she was going to move in with her friend. When I pointed out she was nearly involuntarily committed last week and maybe wasn’t super stable to be making huge changes right now, she hung up on me. Great.

Y’all, the stress is so, so much. I have been able to handle major amounts of stress for the bulk of my adult life. Thanks foster care and single parenting. However, these past six months feel like they are maxing my body beyond what it can take. Idk if it’s due to the cancer treatment, my age, or the sheer volume of stuff I’ve had to manage.

I don’t know how to mitigate the stress DD’s situation brings to our home and particularly me. She’s closest to me in our family.

Monday:

DD called and tried to assert that she didn’t hang up on me when she called last night. She’s said, “You told me you were eating dinner.” I said that people usually say goodbye when they are getting off a call instead of simply hanging up. Then she tried to tell me that DH and I prevented her from getting her medication and her things from home last week when she took off. I reminded her that she literally refused to come home with DH when he saw her at Walmart and then blocked us from calling or texting. I also reminded her that she took off without warning while DH was waiting to pick her up from work. Either that’s the mental illness talking or she’s very set on creating a narrative of her behavior that allows her to live with the choices she’s making. Either way, it’s challenging.

I told DD this afternoon that she was always welcome at home, but we could not continue to live with her unless she was willing to do the work to get well. It’s too much for everyone to live with the constant unknown of where she is and what she’s doing. She is making plans to return to her friend’s home where apparently the parent there will make her pay rent.

I am so very sad and hurt.

[denimbex1986]

An interactive Doctor Who sculpture made out of regenerated technology has materialised on London’s South Bank.

To celebrate the return of Doctor Who and as part of the brand’s 60th anniversary celebrations, BBC Studios has teamed up with Back Market - the global online marketplace for refurbished tech - to create a showstopping installation on London’s South Bank. This mind-bending 180-degree interactive sculpture showcases the current Doctor, David Tennant, seamlessly regenerating into the Fifteenth Doctor, Ncuti Gatwa. 

The Doctor’s regeneration into a new physical form at the end of each series is an iconic trope of the show. The installation, which acts as a homage to the process, can be seen on London’s South Bank from Friday 8th until Monday 11th December.

See the ART OF REGENERATION - from Friday 8th until Monday 11th December at London's South Bank

The ART OF REGENERATION sculpture is made from hundreds of discarded devices, acting as a physical embodiment of Tennant’s iconic character leaving the show and transforming into Gatwa’s Doctor.

The 7ft by 9ft anamorphic sculpture has been handcrafted by Global Street Art using unused regenerated tech as an artistic representation of the estimated 100 tonnes of e-waste thrown into landfill every minute. Alongside the usual tech you’d find on the B Corp’s marketplace, eagle-eyed Doctor Who fans will spot special devices recycled from the space-time continuum, including the TARDIS, sonic screwdrivers, plus a few additional easter eggs.

There is a wealth of activity happening on the South Bank around the activation:

On Friday 8th the ART OF REGENERATION sculpture will have a very special guest appearance from the TARDIS (10am-2pm only).

On Saturday 9th we are hosting a cosplay event, inviting fans to get dressed up and come down to the pop-up for a photo call at 12pm. So dust off that bow-tie and pull out your tweed blazer to join your fellow Whovians at the South Bank this weekend…COSPLAYERS ASSEMBLE!

On Sunday 10th between 11am and 2pm, fans will also be able to come down and see the Fourteenth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver as well as for the first time, Ncuti’s brand-new Sonic Screwdriver as part of the exhibit.

After the activation, the sculpture will return to BBC Studios’ Television Centre headquarters, where it will live until it’s dismantled, and the tech used to create the installation will be recycled.

For those looking to cash in on old devices before Christmas, Back Market is inviting the public to make use of its Trade-in service by selling unwanted electronics to professional refurbishers. To make the process super easy, Back Market is giving away recycled envelopes to pack with your old device and seal with a pre-paid Back Market postage label generated online, plus exclusive Back Market and Doctor Who merchandise for those who can flex their superfan skills.

Back Market and BBC Studios’ Doctor Who sculpture the ART OF REGENERATION is available for free public viewing from Friday 8th until Monday 11th December at the Queen’s Stone on the South Bank’s bustling Riverside Walkway, next to the OXO Tower.'

#Doctor Who #60th Anniversary #David Tennant #Ncuti Gatwa #TARDIS #Sonic Screwdriver #Global Street Art #BBC Studios #THE ART OF REGENERATION #Back Market

[dasenergi-diary]

Today's feeling like an okay day.

After several stressful days at work, today I was all caught-up by noon!

Amazon delivered the gopher trap today and within 30 minutes of installing it, I caught the gopher! Let's see if more mounds appear in the yard tomorrow.

The car insurance people called me assuring me the decision will be made Monday whether I will get money from being hit by an uninsured driver, or if I will work with the other driver's insurance to get my car fixed. My poor car has been sitting infront of my house for over a month waiting! The battery is even already dead. Hopefully Monday brings good news and we can get it fixed finally!

It's a lovely warm day, I have all the doors and windows open letting the beautiful day inside. A hummingbird just came to my open front door to say Hi.

I'm hosting Easter brunch for my family this weekend, so I have a list of things to do around the house and yard. Most of it I will wait until Friday (inside) and Saturday (outside) when the kids are here to help-out. My bad back can only do so much before it gives out.

I've already bought all the foods and decorations, except for what we'll pick-up at the Farmers Market on Saturday.

But with all that said, once I get off from work at 4pm... there's always a bit of dread about what to do with myself.

Usually I would hang-out with Michael, but that's over now. So it's just me, by myself, Monday thru Friday. I think today I will mow the front yard. That's not over-doing it. But then, after that. What will I do with myself? I ask myself that question every day.

[theluschmaster]

I was told, 'we are moving tomorrow' at 10PM the night before.

The moral of the story is to depend on people less and less. It's imperative to my overall health and well-being. I get it now.

I was dropping the baby off in her parents’ bedroom around 10PM and that’s when I got the official news: ‘so we are moving tomorrow evening’ .. I was having such an awesome day, full of productivity! After an unnecessarily long Easter weekend (seriously, these will stall one’s productivity!) .. sure, it was still Easter Monday but I had things to do and I just needed to get an early start to run…

View On WordPress

#adult living with parents #adult living with parents challenges #adult living with parents concerns #adult living with parents isolated #adult living with parents issues #adult living with parents problems #adult with no home #adult with no space #adults living with parents pros and cons #living with parents

[rambleswhatsthepoint]

4/15/23

Just like that it’s shorts and tshirt weather.

It’s been a while since my last post. I decided to foster fail. Nugget is just the sweetest and gets along perfectly with the cats. They aren’t afraid of him at all and they can even sleep next to him. It’s been fun to see him integrate into the family. Last weekend we actually went to lake Katherine with him for the first time.

Easter choir performance went pretty well. The time flew and I’m hoping we sounded decent lol. It was nice to see the church packed for Easter services. I am happy that Lent has ended. It was just so much church time. Sooooooo much. But it was fun to sing and also to wear a dress. Wearing clothes that aren’t joggers or old tshirts is just so novel lol.

Haven’t landed any interviews and I feel like the job pool of places to apply at is drying up. I will keep trying.

So next week the base training for the marathon starts. Which means from Monday to October 8 I’ll be freaking training. It’s a little crazy to think that for the next 5.5 months I’ll be preparing for one singular event lol. Not gonna lie, I do think- wait why am I doing this again? lol

Did I ever journal about the smash boob? Fing mammogram, got one for the first time. Wasn’t bad then. But then I had to go for a second one cause something looked “questionable” and that was freaking painful. And then after that I had to get an ultrasound which didn’t really show anything but now I have to go back in 6 months for more torture for a recheck.

I got my tetanus booster, tdap? I dunno whatever it’s called and a few days later the muscle in my arm wouldn’t stop twitching. Got bad enough I reached out for my doctor, but then of course it started to subside. I guess the muscle in the arm that got the shot got inflamed or I dunno.

I also have a high amount of whatever thing in your blood that indicates inflammation. That’s two tests in a row with that. Everything else was fine. My doctor was saying she thinks if I actually changed my diet that it could go away.

But I don’t want to be gluten free lol. Dairy I already swap most out but leave me my damn bread and pastries. It was like wheat, gluten and soy and dairy that came up on my food sensitivity test. Meh. Meh ugh. She said i might even be able to get off my daily allergy pill. Bahhh

Haven’t really had any time or interest to try out the stupid dating scene. I’d rather get a new job. Then with marathon training I really won’t have any extra time anyways so 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have so much stuff and I want to get rid of it. I want a new desk. I need a new office chair.

Nugget sleeping on the same bed as evil cat. 🥰

#online journal #my life #rambles #life

[littlegodzilla]

Hiiii! Here I am again!! Ready for another chapter? Let's see what going to happen with our favorite Farmer!

I hope you'll like it!!

Enjoy!!

≈≈≈≈≈≈

The Farmer.

John Rollins x FemReader

Mini series. Chapter 4.

Warnings: Fluff. Hard situation. Awkward moment. Sexual tension. Precocity. Slightly mention of sex. A.A. meeting.

Words: 4000

Summary: Finally John's case is solved, when he comes home and sees you waiting for him, he can't contain himself, but things don't turn out the way he didn't expect.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Part 4.

The ruling on Lindsey's child support and custody is postponed until Monday morning. Mary has played all her cards to the best of her ability, she has tried to make John look like a rag, a rat in the eyes of the judge, to prove that John was not fit to take care of the child, however, Samuel has also been able to play the game and has defended his client tooth and nail, convincing the judge.

"I have made a decision, John Rollins will be responsible for the payment of a monthly child support for little Lindsey Rollins, non-payment of said monthly payment will be punished by a monetary reprimand and repeated non-payment will proceed to a trial hearing." He explains and John swallows hard. "Likewise I see no objection to Mr. Rollins not being able to see and care for his daughter, so I grant joint custody, as Mr. Rollins lives out of town, Lindsey will spend weekends, holidays and summer months with her father with both parties agreeing on what dates will be most appropriate for the child." He bangs his gavel hard and John feels his shoulders stop weighing a ton. "Very good morning." He says goodbye and they leave them all in the living room.

Samuel smiles excitedly and hugs his friend, Mary has a blank look on her face, also in the room are Tommy, Lindsey and Mark, the three of them walk up to them, Mark hugs John as Samuel has done and Tom tries to calm an enraged Mary.

"It's not going to stay that way John, I'm right, and eventually they'll see it, you'll fall, you always do and you'll take Lindsey with you and then you won't be able to do anything to stop yourself from ever seeing her again." She spits with venom in her every word.

"Mary please stop." He tries to be reasonable Tom, but the woman walks away tugging at the girl's hand.

"No, wait!" John shouts cutting her off. "We still have a lot to talk about. I'm going to give you my money, I know you don't give a shit whether or not I care about my daughter, that you just want the money to fuck me over, fine, I'll play your game, but you're going to play mine too; every weekend Lindsey wants to come with me to the farm, since I've gone five years without being able to see her I want Thanksgiving, Easter and Christmas."

"Have you lost your mind!"

"And a month of summer, I don't care which." He keeps talking, ignoring her. "It will be in writing, I'll have Samuel draw it up and send your lawyer a copy for you to sign, if you don't, we'll meet here again and I think you'd lose out."

"We'll see about that." She huffs and walks out of the room mumbling curses that he doesn't get to hear anymore, but he doesn't care.

"But what was that!" laughs Mark hugging his friend by the neck. "If I wasn't married I'd invite you to a little hotel..." He jokes and John laughs nudging him, Samuel approaches with a smirk.

"I'll draft that petition as soon as possible before your lawyer can quash it with any bullshit."

"Thanks Samuel and, no offense, but I hope I don't see you again for a long time."

"Same here." He jokes and waves goodbye to both men leaving.

"What's your plan now?"

"I'm heading home, it's too many days away, I left chores half done, I have to set up a room for Linds...I'm going to be busy."

"Well, maybe you should go to a meeting and talk about all this, it's a lot of stuff."

"I know, take care Mark and thanks to you too."

"For what I wrote? You earned every word John, I didn't give anything for you the first day you showed up at a meeting and you just made me miss my words. I'm so proud." He smiles and John feels his cheeks burn.

It's no big deal, he's no role model.

*********

(Sorry I just needed to put it here)

John parks the van in the driveway of the estate, frowns slightly and feels a tug in his stomach when he sees you get up from the porch steps, waving your hands nervously. He steps out of the vehicle and walks straight toward you, feeling his heart pound violently against his chest.

"John..." You greet him with a gasp of relief and he feels your words burning through his entire body. "I-I'm sorry to show up here, but it's been days and I didn't know anything, I was left worried about that letter, Hershel told me you were back in town..." You keep talking at the same time he is getting closer and closer. "I thought something bad had happened, I wanted to call you, but technically I don't have your phone number, I could have looked it up in your client file, but that would have been inappropriate and I don't..."

John kisses you, cradles your face in his hands and kisses you intensely. You gasp against his mouth opening your eyes wide as you didn't expect him to do that. You hold him by the back of his neck and feel his mouth open on yours and his tongue slips between your teeth making you tremble in his hands. You break the kiss for air, your gazes connect again, John bites his lip as his fingers caress your cheeks. Neither of you say anything, but there is something intense between you. John looks towards his house in a second, you follow his eyes and nod your head feeling your cheeks redden. John holds your hand and the two of you walk into the house.

The kisses don't stop as you move to the living room where you sit on the couch, you are left on his lap, your legs on either side of his, his hands grab your ass, your hips move against his crotch, already hard to your touch, John grunts because the fabric of the suit pants he wore in court gets him to feel it even more intense and his fingers press against your jeans hard. The kisses get more and more intense, the heat of your bodies keeps increasing, John presses you against his crotch and moves in your turn, he stops kissing you moving down your jaw and neck, enjoying the feel of your skin against his lips, your taste on his tongue gives him goose bumps. You throw your heads back, but your hands unknot his tie and unbutton his shirt, your fingers caress his bare chest, you lean over him kissing his neck, biting an x-shaped tattoo he has on his collarbone. He grunts and curses under his breath because he feels on edge. Four years is too long and his body is in a hurry. You keep moving on him and John feels like he's losing control.

"W-Wait..." He gasps, but your final thrust against his hard crotch, disarms him "F-fuck..." He grunts as he clenches his hands on your thighs as he feels his boxers getting wet and his whole body trembles. "I'm sorry..." He whispers without daring to look at you.

"Oh..." Is all you are able to say, sitting up on his knees.

"J-Just give me a minute and..." He tries to offer by rubbing his forehead, but you avert your gaze by getting up from his lap.

"I-it's okay, I..." You stammer and arrange your clothes over your body. "I'm meeting Maggie and... I should go..." You excuse yourself, but John doesn't try to stop you, he nods.

"Sure... I'll see you around." He says goodbye and you walk out of the house. "Fuck." He snaps again covering his face with both hands. He stirs on the couch feeling his boxers stick to his skin and it's uncomfortable.

He gets up from the couch and goes straight to the shower. It's been humiliating, but worst of all it's been disappointing for you, he knows, he hasn't even been able to touch you like you really deserved it and he's soiled his pants like a fifteen year old kid with his first porn magazine.

It's absurd.

The hot water runs over his body removing the remnants of his own shame from his skin, in his hands, in his mouth, in his ears he can still feel you and he curses once more. He doesn't know what has happened to him, he had no desire, but when he saw you at the door of his house, waiting for him, something has taken over his judgment. Maybe it is due to all the emotions he has suffered and experienced throughout those days, frustration, fear, confusion, euphoria, all of that has exploded at the same time and he has thrown himself on you like a hungry animal. Too much pressure, too soon.

A disaster.

He grunts once more and steps out of the shower walking naked to his room, one of the advantages of living alone, he leaves his stained pants aside along with the shirt and the rest, he puts on an old t-shirt and work pants. He will go up to the second floor and check the rooms one more time, he will look for the most suitable one for Lindsey, spacious, sunny, he will decorate and furnish it so that the girl will feel comfortable there, he would like to do it with her, at least choose some furniture, but until Samuel sends him the copy signed by Mary, he knows he will not see her.

Trying to avoid those thoughts he walks into one of the rooms and smiles. It is spacious with a large window that connects to a small balcony, which she will keep closed so the girl won't go out, she can put some nice curtains, a big bed in the center, decorate the walls with the color she likes the most. He bites his lip and gets down to work.

The first thing to do is to take out all the garbage that is there and air it all out.

**********

At the meeting everyone greets him, it hasn't gone missing for anyone who has been out of town for a few days, everyone asks him if he is ok to which John responds by nodding his head and thanking them for caring. On his turn to speak John was going to tell why he was gone, but he can't stop thinking about what happened to you two and needs to say it out loud.

"Hi, I'm John, alcoholic." He repeats as he does at every meeting. "I guess some of you are wondering where I've been these days and I really wanted to talk about it because a lot has been going on, but I need to talk about something I'm ashamed of." He sways held to the lectern searching for the words. "Today, after four years, I've been with a woman again..." There is some applause and a few whispers. "For five seconds... it was probably something else, but it was a pathetic five seconds that I held on..." He sighs in frustration. "I'm not coming to say that I was an animal in bed, that I held out for hours thanks to alcohol and that I always managed to make them cum, because it's not true, because I don't remember all my sexual escapades either, I'm coming to say that it's been humiliating and disappointing for her. She has run away, like a scared guinea pig. Just like that." He forms a grimace with his mouth, pursing his lips, forming a thin line. "And I've realized, again, that with alcohol everything was easier, or at least seemed easier. You'd get drunk, give your girl that look, take her home or to the back alley, what did it matter, and whether you managed to get your pants down or not was the least of it because your brain wouldn't remember it the next morning, when the hangover started hammering, you'd drown the thoughts in another beer and let the world keep spinning, right?" Some nods. "Now I feel the shame, the regrets, most of the time when I'm doing something I end up questioning what the fuck I'm doing... I want to apologize to her, but I don't even know if I have the right to do that, fuck I don't even know if she'll still be interested in me..." He finishes his thoughts returning to his chair.

"If I'm being honest I think it happens to all of us." Hears John next to him as the meeting ends and he's pouring himself a coffee. "Not just the precociousness, also that feeling of saying 'have I always been like this?' but then it all passes. I'm still married." He comforts the man by showing him his ring.

"A lot of women are scared of sex after they get into the program." A female partner approaches as well. "Too many questions and nerves play very bad tricks." She tries to encourage him. "If that girl likes you, she'll come back, but maybe you do need to tell her some things."

"Yes, I had thought that too, she knows I come here, but I guess it's not the same."

The woman smiles warmly at him and they walk away, John leaves the building heading back to his truck and home.

As he sits on the couch he hears his cell phone ring, he has a message from his lawyer and his smile grows wider as he reads that Mary has signed the joint custody papers, that she has agreed to his demands. With trembling hands he asks for Mary and Tommy's phone number, he wants to be able to contact one of them to talk directly to Lindsey, he wants to ask her about her room, the color of the walls, the bed, everything, he wants her to want to be there. Samuel is quick to send him both numbers, but John saves them, it's late and he doesn't want to bother, he would call them tomorrow.

Again he feels a relief run through his whole body, maybe he has hit bottom, maybe he can't fall anymore and now it's time to fight and go up, and this is like a reward for that.

That night John sleeps in one go and finally in his own bed.

************

John sits on the couch biting his nail as he listens to the phone ring, waiting for someone to answer on the other end, after several rings, he finally hears Mary's voice.

"Who is it?"

"Mary, it's me, John." He greets and hears her snort angrily. "Please don't hang up on me, I wanted to talk to Lindsey."

"Didn't we agree you'd see her on weekends? Wait for your turn."

"She's... she's not a toy I want to borrow, you know, I have every right to talk to her."

"Since when?"

"Since the day she was born and then you took her away." He answers angrily, Mary on the other end is silent, until she sighs.

"What do you want from her?"

"I just want to ask her a few things, you can put your hands free if you want." He rubs his forehead and picks up a pen and a piece of paper when he hears Mary call the girl, the voice echoes so he knows he's on speakerphone.

"Hello?" The little girl asks shyly and John smiles.

"Hi, little girl how are you?"

"Fine, I was just having breakfast with Tommy and mom...how about you?"

"Just fine, having breakfast too." A giggle escapes him. "You know? I'm fixing up your room for when you want to come see me and I was thinking of decorating it a little..."

"Yeah?" the girl asks curiously.

"Yup and I was wondering what color would look best and what furniture I could buy..."

"Unicorns!" the little girl shouts and John has to pull the phone away from his ear. "And pink! And purple! And green!" she continues excitedly. "And a big bed! Mom doesn't want me to have a big bed because she says I fall out, b-but I don't!" She defends herself, John laughs writing it all down quickly.

"Would you like to help me pick out some things?" He asks her again and thinks he hears a squeak coming from the girl, but then there is silence. John can imagine Lindsey asking her mother for permission before answering and he bites his lip again.

"Mom says we have a lot of things to do this week, I can't go..." Her voice sounds a little disappointed and John's smile falters.

"It's okay honey, it's okay." He promises her. "I'll ask your mom to send me some pictures of what you like best and I'll decorate it to your liking, is that okay with you?"

"Yup!" she shouts excitedly again. "Hey, Dad..." John's heart flips in his chest as he hears her. "Are there animals on your farm?"

"No, there aren't, but I'm friends with a farmer who does - dogs, cows, even horses." He encourages her and again seems to squeal on the other end. "We'll ask him to give us a ride, do you want?"

"Yes! I want to ride a horse!"

"Well we'll see about that." Mary interjects, her voice sounds very loud so John figures she's already taken the speaker off. "She's still too little and I'm not going to let you cut her head open for getting on an animal."

"That's not going to happen." He growls. "Do me that favor, okay? If my little girl wants anything for her room, or likes any particular color, send it to me."

"Whatever you say, John. Bye." She hangs up and John is left with his goodbye in his mouth. He snorts holding back an insult and leaves the phone on the table.

Unicorns. Well, he thinks he can find something out there, shouldn't be too hard. Though he highly doubts Hershel will let him put a fake horn on one of his horses to drive Linsdey totally insane.

After breakfast he goes out to the fields to do some work, he has to take care of his daughter's room, but he can't neglect his crops either. The day before Hershel explained to her how the whole system that the Jones brothers had installed worked, she checks that the pond is full and opens several stopcocks, so that the water can irrigate the land. Leaving the irrigation on for his corn crop, he rubs his hands against the cowboys and climbs into the pickup to head back to town.

He's not sure, but it's likely that at Woodbury Furniture he'll find some furniture that will fit Linds' room. It's the biggest store on the whole avenue, he's bought some furniture there that he's replaced from home and the prices are affordable, the furniture isn't the best quality, but it will last for years, especially if Linsdey only visits temporarily.

He never thought he'd find a rural Ikea, to be honest.

************

He gets out of the van and enters the huge furniture store, he just wants to look around, he prefers to wait for Mary to send him a list of the things Lindsey prefers for her room. He goes straight up to the second floor where the bedroom furniture is, the children's section is more spacious, there are double beds, bunk beds, trundle beds, desks of all kinds and shapes, comfortable chairs both wheeled and classic wooden, closets to match the beds they have on display, double closets, shoe racks, trunks to store toys, bookshelves. John feels a bit lost all of a sudden, there is everything, but the vast majority is austere furniture, poor or dark colors, which surprises him as usually all the children's sections are more colorful.

"I could buy wood paint and paint them myself." He thinks aloud, looking at a double-door cabinet with a full-length mirror between the two doors. John doesn't know if Lindsey is a flirtatious child, but he thinks she might like the glass detail.

"Can I help you with something?" He listens next to her, turns around spotting one of the workers and smiles gratefully.

"I'm actually just browsing, I have to redecorate a room and I'm getting ideas."

"Great, any new additions to the family?" she asks mischievously and John laughs shaking his head.

"Something like that... Do you sell paint and accessories here too, anti-fall railings?"

"No, you might find that at the hardware store, but we do have railings, they usually fit all the models of children's beds we carry, if not we could order you one to choose from."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Thank you very much." He smiles kindly and says goodbye walking away from the young woman who continues with her work.

After looking at the furniture, John has an idea of what he wants for Lindsey, he walks over to the hardware store to look at the wood and wall paint for the room. There are too many different pots, he never thought there were pastel colors, glow in the dark, fluorescent... Lindsey is a little girl, it would be best to pick up some pastel colors, pink, purple and green he had told her. She picks up several buckets plus the brushes and more tools she will need, after paying for everything her last stop is the nursery.

**

You drum your fingers on the steering wheel before getting out of the truck and walking inside the greenhouse.

As you enter he spots you at the counter talking to a customer as you hand him back his change, a huge smile on your mouth full of friendliness and John takes a deep breath before approaching you.

"Hey, hi." He greets and looks sideways at you, you see him and your smile falters for a second as your cheeks take on a ruddy color. "Can we talk?" He asks you nodding to the side.

"S-sure, did something happen at the farm?"

"No, I... in private, please..." You insist and look at Rachel who gives you a gentle tap and nods her head.

"Of course you can talk, your shift is over." She nudges you lightly and smiles, "See you tomorrow."

"Great, do you want a ride home?" John offers as you grab your bag and pull your ponytail off, John's eyes follow the movement of your hair falling to your shoulders and he swallows.

Mark's coarse and out of place words talking about you come back to his mind. It's true that work clothes don't flatter anyone, the yellow t-shirt and green pants with the safety boots, certainly not sexy, but it also makes him think about how he's never seen you outside of work, not even that day you coincidentally met at Hershel's barbecue, you had left work and showed up in your company uniform. Yet he's still able to spot the natural curves your body makes. You are a big girl, bigger than other women he knows, bigger than Mary, full legs and strong arms, you are fit but your build and family heritage keeps you from losing those pounds that perhaps others think you have to spare, but which John realizes he doesn't mind at all. He still remembers the feel of your butt in his hands and would love to be able to touch it again.

"So will you take me home?" You ask approaching him and John nods clearing his throat, realizing he's been staring at you for a long time.

"Yes, no problem. See you another day, Rachel." He says goodbye to her who nods and the two of you walk back to the van.

Rollins is nervous, not sure how to bring up the subject, but you look quite relaxed, as if nothing has happened. He starts the engine and pulls into the drive following your directions.

"Hey I wanted to... I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday..." He opens his mouth at last, sees your body tense slightly and you look at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Don't worry, John, there's no need..."

"I'm sorry." He interrupts her. "But it's been like... almost five years since I've been with anyone and..." He stammers seeing you stare at him with wide eyes.

"Five years?" you ask in surprise and he nods. "Wow, it's... is it because of the program? They don't let you...?" you ask unsure, John smiles and shakes his head.

"In a way, yes, but it's not that they forbid us to have a relationship, the first year is self discovery, they ask you to take time for yourself, and then it's your own personal fear, meeting people again, realizing that everyone drinks, more or less, but everyone does and thinking what if I kiss that person and it tastes like beer? What if that pushes me to drink again?" he confesses and you look down apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"No, I wanted to tell you because it was my fault about yesterday, I really didn't think it was that... pathetic." He snorts and you smile.

"Don't torture yourself, John. It's okay." You smile again, looking at him at last.

"I'd like to do it right, next time, if... if you want." He clears his throat. "I owe you a meal, so... I'd like to buy you dinner or something..." He dares to propose and the surprise comes back to you, but you try to hide the excitement that's drawn on your face.

"That sounds great. I'd love to." You agree and you can almost see his shoulders relax.

The rest of the ride is pleasant, you talk about many things, much more comfortable than when you first got in the car. You both avoid asking about his days out of town, John knows he has to tell you about it at some point, but he doesn't want to burden you with too much information either, nor does he know how much you want to know more about his life. He parks the van outside your house and you thank him for driving you there.

"Wait... I don't have your number..." You feel totally lost, had it always been this hard to pick up?

"That's right." You reach for a pen in your pants and take his hand, writing down your number for him. "I'll wait for you to call me, then."

"Yeah, you bet." He smiles and looks at his hand a couple of times as you go home.

************

John drives home, from the back of the truck he pulls out the paint cans and everything else carrying it up to Lindsey's room. His phone rings in his pocket and when he pulls it out he discovers that Mary has sent him several pictures with examples of rooms Linds might like. He smiles and puts the phone away again, with those references he can get to work.

******

To be Continued...

***

I hope you liked it!!

See you in the next chapters and stories!

❤❤❤

#my stuff #norman reedus #normanreedus #john rollins #john x reader #john rollins x femreader #the messengers 2 #the messengers 2: the scarecrows #mini serie

[emily-scstudyabroad]

Weekend in Croatia!

For Easter weekend, I took a trip to Croatia! Emma and I decided to go with Smart Trip, a student tour company. It was the first time we used Smart Trip. For our past trips we booked everything ourselves, so we liked that the transportation and accommodation were booked for us. It was nice not having to plan a trip for once, but I do think it is important to try to book most of them yourself. The trip was fun because it was 70 students studying in Florence!

We left on a bus on Thursday at 9 pm and arrived in Croatia around 12:30 pm on Friday. It was my first time spending the night on a bus, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to sleep. But it wasn't too bad, and I did get some decent sleep.

Our first destination in Croatia was Dubrovnik, and we stayed in Hotel Astarea. It was near the water and had such a beautiful view.

View from our room's balcony!

Emma and I had lunch in Old Town at a restaurant outside and had a nice view of the city and the water.

Love my Italian food! Most people order seafood in Dubrovnik but we aren't the biggest fans of it.

Next, we walked along the city walls for even more spectacular views!

The water is so blue!

We both bought postcards and some gelato. And we walked around the city exploring!

Then we took the cable car because we wanted to see the view of the city from the top. It was neat to see the walls surrounding the city. I really enjoyed visiting a smaller city for a change!

The island on the left is called Lokrum! Inside the walls is considered Old Town.

On Saturday, thirty of us on the trip went kayaking! That was probably my favorite activity on the trip. Emma and I teamed up in a tandem kayak. We had a guide who told us about the history of Dubrovnik and then took us to a little shore for lunch before kayaking back to the mainland.

I hadn't kayaked since middle school but luckily Emma knew what she was doing.

After kayaking, Emma and I grabbed smoothies before getting tickets to take the ferry to an island called Lokrum. This island is known for having peacocks, so we had to go! The island was also a filming location for Game of Thrones, so many people like to visit.

As soon as we stepped off the ferry we saw peacocks!

The island was so beautiful! We hiked around the island and up to the top of the Path of Paradise.

View from Lokrum.

Before dinner, we went to Buza Bar, a bar built into the cliffs. During the day people can go cliff jumping. It was a very cool experience, people were sitting all over the rocks, and the waves were just below my feet.

Buza Bar! The bar closes before dark for safety reasons.

We had some yummy chicken quesadillas for dinner because we can't get good Mexican food in Florence, and I was craving it.

Dubrovnik at night!

On Sunday, we left at 6:45 am to drive to our next destination in Croatia, a bigger city called Split. We arrived later than planned because we got stopped at the border in Bosnia for an hour and a half. The only way to drive to Split was through Bosnia for ten minutes, even though we were going from one Croatian city to another Croatian city.

Once we made it to Split, we checked into the Design Hostel 101 Dalmatinac and changed for the boat ride! We were on the boat from 2:30 pm until 8:30 pm, and stopped at an island for dinner. We made some new friends and saw the sunset on the boat.

Sunset view!

We had an early night because on Monday we woke up early to drive to Krka National Park to see the waterfall. The waterfall did not disappoint!

In the summer people can go into the water!

After an hour and a half, it was time to board the bus for the rest of the journey back to Florence. The drive took about 12 hours and we arrived around 11 pm.

Overall, I loved my time in Croatia! It was never on my radar as a place to visit initially. But, when Emma and I finished planning our weekend trips, this was the last one open because it was a long weekend. So, we decided to take the last two spots on the Smart Trip. I think the tour guide did a great job, and it was a very stress-free weekend. Dubrovnik was my favorite city; I loved seeing so much nature for a change!

Such beautiful views!

I will say that Croatia was more expensive than I thought it would be, and it surprised me. The food and drinks were good, but definitely overpriced. The cable car ride was 27 euros roundtrip. Walking the city walls was 35 euros. Since I didn't really research for this trip, maybe I could have learned that ahead of time, but I don't regret the trip at all! I had such an amazing time in Croatia and it is one of the top destinations I have visited.

#study abroad #croatia #travel

[purplesurveys]

1660

Do you have a reason to smile right now? Sure. I like that it’s Monday yet it’s a holiday, so I don’t have to work. Then again it’s the last day of our 5-day long weekend and I’m feeling a bit bummed, but I’m trying to stay on the positive my dudes. Stressing on my last free day can’t possibly bring anything good. Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? Depends on the weather. These days I stand directly under the shower as soon as I turn it on because it’s HOT AS FUCK and the cold water feels refreshing anyway. Most of the time though I’d start it before.

True or false: You’re not sitting on a chair to use the computer right now. That’s true. I’m sitting up on a folded-out sleeping bag.

Do you regret any of your past relationships? I regret many, many parts of it but like, I wouldn’t invalidate the happiness I knew I felt then. I just feel bad that that happiness was misdirected.

How many times have you been to a museum? Too many times than I can count. I went to a museum for the first time in Grade 1 as part of a field trip and was immediately hooked, and since then it’s been tradition for me to visit at least a handful of museums every year.

How has this past week been for you? So fucking relaxing. It was a break I really needed. We had five days off due to the Holy Week and because of another national holiday also happening at the same time, and even though I told myself I was gonna use the extra time to catch up on work...I didn’t, lol. I just let myself enjoy the days going by and caught up on Wrestlemania instead. I haven’t watched this much wrestling since 2014.

Is anything going to happen next month that makes you happy? My dad will be coming home then.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? My mom has been saying she wants a Pomeranian but I think we’re good with the two dogs for now.

Do you like the rain? I love the rain; the only time I don’t is when it’s nighttime and I’m stuck driving and in traffic.

Do you like it when stores have sales? I don’t actively hunt down sales cos it just means 45794749 other people would be all over it hahaha, but I mean it’s always nice when I encounter something I like and it happens to be like 60%, 70% off its original price.

Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? Panda.

Do you have any of your Easter candy left over? I don’t celebrate Easter. Easter candy also isn’t much of a thing here...egg hunts and decorating events are organized for kids, but most of the time the eggs contain money and not candy.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? Nah.

Does your ex make you mad? It’s a very passive resentment. She doesn’t make me like, actively seethe with anger lol but I don’t necessarily hold positive feelings towards her.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? Nope.

Do you like BBQ sauce? I love barbecue sauce and enjoy it the most on my pizza.

Do the stairs in your house have carpet? No.

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? In bed, waking up. I was going through my Twitter I think.

Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? No. I did take ballet but didn’t stay in it long enough to learn how to do a proper spin.

Would you rather eat 12 hot dogs or 6 hamburgers? I’d go with the hotdogs even though I prefer burgers. It just seems a tad easier to take down 12 of them hahahaha.

What color is the door to your basement? We don’t even have a basement.

Was your favorite class science because of the experiments? My favorite was history because of the far more interesting stories and lessons I got out of it. 

Do you like citrus pop or any drinks? I wouldn’t say so, no.

Last time you wore the opposite sex’s clothing? Over a month ago.

What’s the last board game you played? Can’t even remember.

What laundry detergent do you use? Tide.

Do you trust people too easily? I trust a fair amount.

Are you currently fighting with someone? I’m not.

Do you hang out with your siblings friends? Nah. I’d be the cool older sister that can shoot the shit with them, but my sister’s friends like to keep to themselves hahaha so it’s alright. As for my brother, I’m not even sure if he has friends. He’s never asked permission to go out for a hangout sesh and has never had any friends over.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Last Wednesday when we were anxiously awaiting the Thai ticketing website to let us in from the online queue we were painstakingly waiting in.

Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? Nope.

Do you set good examples for little kids? If I’m around kids then yeah, but that doesn’t happen often anyway.

Does your favorite song mention a famous person’s name in it? It doesn’t.

Are you counting down the days to anything? Jin’s enlistment release and the day we’re seeing Yoongi.

Does your house have a pool? Nope.

If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it by yourself? Nah, I’d take it to a repair center immediately.

On a scale 1-10, how much does the opposite sex confuse you? Not nearly as much as they used to, so 0. I get enough interactions with Hans and guys at work these days.

When you party, do you get wild? Depends on the vibe of the party and how fun the crowd is. These days I grow bored quite easily and leave places without so much as a buzz, haha.

If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? Check for an ID and try to hunt the person down if they have any social media I can reach out to. If no ID, I’d post on social media anyway to see if there’s anyone who’d know the person who left the wallet behind. I don’t really trust police.

Do you do cheers often? Like...toasts? Not really, no. Do you enjoy fishing? I’ve never tried it and it doesn’t sound interesting to me.

Was your first job babysitting? No, I’ve always been in PR. Did you wear a hoodie today? No, and I don’t think I’ll need to wear a hoodie again until like December lol.

Are you embarrassed to talk about stuff with your dad? I wouldn’t open to him 100% but between him and my mom, I’m definitely more comfortable talking about things with him. He’s more open-minded.

Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood? Neither.

--

10 How’s

How did you get one of your scars? Cooper got too playful and also happened to have longer nails than usual at the time, so he managed to get a deep gash into my right thigh. I knew the second it bled the way it did that it was going to leave a souvenir, haha.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? I stayed at home for the most part til I brought out my family for dinner; then that weekend I took my friends to the beach. My next birthday’s a little over a week away and it’s going to be drastically different as I’ve since shut down all plans for it; am on full budget lockdown mode in preparation for my Thailand trip in June.

How are you feeling at this moment? A little sleepy, a little antsy because I’m back to work tomorrow. Just trying to enjoy my last few hours of freedom.

How did your night go last night? As chill as it gets. I just stayed in my room watching wrestling. OH but I did put a bit of work in and drafted an entire press release to get some tasks out of way for tomorrow.

How did you do in high school? I was miserable the first couple of years; didn’t have a group of friends and was doing terrible in a few subjects. I seemed to find my footing when I reached junior year where I was able to improve my grades and find my place in a group, and also get invited to stuff outside of school. All in all the positives outweigh the bad and generally I’m able to look back at high school with good feelings.

How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? Idk, my mom got it from somewhere and I called dibs on it.

How often do you see your best friend? With Angela, at least once a month. I see Andi a lot less frequently – maybe once every 5-6 months? We typically only get together when there’s a local wrestling show happening nearby, or when they need help studying for a test.

How much money did you spend last month? A little over ₱12,000 – just the total bill for my dog bites. Extremely frustrating how my HMO didn’t cover it so ever since then I went on spending lockdown. Haven’t spent on literally anything since then other than my Agust D ticket.

How old do you want to be when you get married? I used to want to get married in my late 20s, but by the looks of things marriage isn’t in the cards anymore.

How old will you be at your next birthday? I’ll be 25!

9 What’s

What is the most important part of your life? Right now, it would be my personal life and just trying to stay happy. Family’s health is just as important to me, too. I’ve stopped placing my career as top priority.

What did you do last weekend? I caught up on the newest Wrestlemania and a bunch of recent WWE storylines by watching compilations and segments/promos. Literally I have not watched this much wrestling since 2014; it’s super refreshing, and yet I feel right at home. Which is what wrestling has always made me feel, anyway.

We also finally settled our Yoongi concert dilemma – all 4 of us are seeing him in Bangkok. :)

What did you last cry over? Listening to Agust D’s People earlier.

What are you worried about? Catching up on work starting tomorrow because I’m sure there’ll be a fuckload of it waiting to crash down on me. I’m not mega mega anxious because I did do some preliminary work last night and tonight (ily self thanks for powering through despite it being a long weekend), but STILL.

What is your mother’s name? Abby.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Petting my dogs, YouTube videos, BTS.

What would you rather be doing? Anything but mentally bracing myself for work.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? I’m not looking, but I’d appreciate anyone who wouldn’t gaslight, I guess...and someone who doesn’t think they’re always right, and someone who is actually capable of apologizing when necessary.

What did you have for breakfast? Spicy chicken tenders with rice.

EIGHT Have You’s

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? At this point, haven’t we all at least once?

Have you ever had sex on the beach? No, I haven’t.

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend? Sure.

Have you ever been out of the country? I have a few times, yeah.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? The gap was literally a month and half lol but if we were being technical and strict about this question then yeah.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody? Nope.

Have you ever been brokenhearted? Yeah.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Mostly when I was in my teenage years.

SEVEN Who’s:

Who is the last person you saw? My mom briefly opened my door a couple of hours ago to say goodnight.

Who is the last person that you texted? Some media person who texted me earlier. During the long weekend. Pissed me off ngl hahaha but I still replied to get it over with.

Who called you last? Angela.

Who is the last person you hung out with? Angela, Hans, and Angela’s coworkers; we watched an open night. Who did you hug last? I think it may have been Marla. It’s weird; we’ve never actually directly worked together much, but for some reason we’ve developed some sort of mutual fondness? Hahaha like if we happen to be at the office at the same time we’d literally run to one another and hug. Must be the solidarity that comes with being a corporate slave or something like that lol. 

Who is the last person that texted you? The said media person who texted me first earlier today.

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Andi.

SIX Where’s:

Where does your best friend live? A good 20-minute drive away; it’s one of the cities next door but you don’t need to know which one it is.

Where is your favorite place to be? Some spot with good nightlife makes me the happiest and most content.

Where did you sleep last night? The foldout sleeping bags I keep under my loft bed. It’s just not possible to sleep on my actual bed this summer; it’s a big hassle to keep bringing my electric fan up and down the stairs, and it’s not like I keep my AC on all night – I turn it off just before I go to bed and within an hour or so I would 100% start sweating through my clothes unless I have the fan pointed towards me.

Long explanation but anyway that’s the room situation for the next few months: Go with my sleeping bags on the ‘ground’ level, where I can conveniently have the fan pointed at me.

Where did you last hang out? The bar where the aforementioned comedy night was happening.

Where do/did you go to school? I went to UP for college but that’s as much as I’m able to share.

Where did you last adventure to? Just around BGC. I had an event that day but nevertheless the whole experience still felt like an adventure. It’s always nice and freeing to be in BGC.

FIVE Do’s/Does:

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Every now and then, but it’s not a thought that actively consumes me.

Do you think anyone despises you? Idk man. Even if someone does, I wouldn’t want to entertain the thought.

Do you like someone right now? Nopes.

Does the future scare you? I try not to be. It’s healthier to stay in the present.

Do you have any secret powers? Um, let’s go with no.

FOUR Why’s:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? Our humors and personalities have clicked for the last 18 years, and we never abandoned one another when we needed our friendship the most.

Why did your parents give you the name you have? They thought it sounded nice. Also was a little nod to the Swedish singer with the same name.

Why did you get a myspace? I got one forever ago because I assumed everyone was on it...to which I quickly realized it was largely an American audience, and Filipinos were actually largely on Friendster and Multiply instead hahaha.

Why are you doing this survey? I’m just trying to finish up the backlog I’ve racked up on my liked surveys tab. I will say I know I’ve taken this one before, but the format is really interesting so I didn’t have a problem retaking it now.

THREE If’s:

If you could have one super power what would it be? Wealth. Or, if we’re speaking to Work Perfectionist Robyn, the ability to think of award-winning campaigns all the time.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Not a thing.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Korea.

Two Would-you-ever’s:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Sure.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you? No.

Last one:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out? Yes.

#last hurrah before getting hurled back to reality! #5 day weekend you've been very kind to me #PAIN #anywho have a good week ahead y'all!