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dancingdeacyy · 4 years

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Rebound (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Hello everybody! I’m here with a Roger Taylor one shot, yayyy!!

I want to know if you would like to be in a pemanent tag list and if you like this part, imma write a second one about their relationship.

Warnings: mentions of cheating and alcohol, nothing serious.

Having a broken heart sucks but you’re better than that, or at least that’s what you keep on remind yourself, your boyfriend, Mark, cheated on you last week, your heart was obviously broken but what hurt you the most was with who he cheated on you, your best friend thought it would be fun to shag your boyfriend.

However, your heart stopped feeling empty when you were around your brothers, well brothers from another mother, the guys that knew exactly how to put a smile on your face but they loved you like a little sister and you knew they'd probably kill him, that’s why it remained a secret.

The guys invited you to a club tonight and of course you said yes, you loved clubbing with them.

You didn’t like one night stands but you thought it will work tonight to keep your mind off of Mark, that means you’ll have to use an extra hour to get ready, just in case.

The guys were already outside of your flat, as soon as you stepped out, Roger started honking, Freddie started cheering and Brian and John clapped their souls out, you started modeling to their vans, waving for hips and blowing kisses, they made you happy.

“We look stupid at your side, y/n” Roger said after greeting you. ”You’re a god damned model”

“Keep those compliments to your girlfriend, Taylor” you said winking, you have never said it out loud but you didn’t like Roger’s girlfriend, Mila, she gave you some ugly vibes and it makes you worried. “Where are the girls?” You said, all of them had girlfriends and you loved them all, except Roger’s but that’s a secret.

“They are going to Mila’s house, they’ll meet us there.” Brian said. “Ready to go crazy?”

“‘Course love” I said winking. “As always”

“Darling, you’re dressed to kill.” Freddie sassily said. “Where’s your man?” Oh, there’s the question, ‘Helter Skelter’ began playing on the radio and it was the perfect way to end the conversation.

“Damn, turn it up!” you screamed, partly because of the question.

All of you started singing (Screaming), your cheeks were hurting from smiling and your heart felt full and happy.

When you arrived at the club, music blasted and people were grinding against each other, it was a weird atmosphere but the guys were with you, that made you feel safe.

The girls were already there, you went to say hi, but surprisingly, not really, Mila completely ignored you, apparently she didn’t like you either.

The couples went to the dance floor after taking a couple of shots, Deacy saw you pouting and drinking shot after shot, he offered you his hand smiling, you looked at Veronica, his girlfriend, she nodded.

You took Deacy’s hand and went to the dance floor, he was a great bassist, an awesome friend and an incredible dancer, he was smooth and unstoppable.

You danced with him song after song and you enjoyed it so much you forgot about the other guys.

You looked at them, Fred, Brian and the girls except Mila were talking and drinking. Roger was pouting and playing with his glass of SoCo.

“Deacs, what happened with Rog?” You asked and stopped dancing.

“Wanna go with him?” He asked you and you nodded giving John a peck on his cheek as a thank you.

You walked slowly until you were standing in front of him, he lifted his head, his blue eyes were sad and his smile looked forced.

“May I?” You asked him softly, he nodded and you sat by his side, he put his head on your shoulder and you caressed his hair softly. “What happened, love?”

“Look at the bar, love” He said, closing his eyes.

Mila was there, shoving her tongue down a man’s throat, why are you not surprised?

“Wanna go out for a bit, Rog?” You asked, looking softly at Rog, he nodded and took him outside, you sat on a bench.

“I don’t understand, y/n” he said looking at you. “What am I doing wrong?”

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Rog.” You told him. “I know what you’re going through”

“No you don’t, y/n, no man could ever cheat on you, you’re bloody perfect” he told you, frustrated and raising his voice a bit.

“Actually... “ You started saying, scared of saying something wrong. “Mark did, with my best friend, ex best friend i guess”

“What?” He said, now angry at your confession. “I’ll fucking kill him”

“Rog, stop, this isn’t about me-” You tried to say.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” He asked with a pout.

“I don’t want your pity, and I knew you and the guys would probably kill him, so…” you answered laughing trying to lighten up the mood. “So yeah, i know what you’re going through”

I patted his knee “Let’s go inside, let’s prove her you’re more than this”

He took your hand and walked inside with you.

“Wanna dance?” He asked you.

“I’d love to” He took you to the dancing floor and placed his hands on your waist, Twist and Shout started playing and you screamed in joy.

“This is your favorite, darling” you nodded and put your head on his chest.

His hands on your waist swayed it to the rhythm of The Beatles.

“I’ve always liked dancing with you.” Roger said and smiled.

“You hate dancing, Rog, stop jo-” You started saying but Mila pushed you aside, Rog quickly grabbed your waist to avoid you getting hurt.

“Why are you dancing with my boyfriend, y/n?” she said, getting close to you, trying to intimidate you.

“I’m not your boyfriend anymore, Mila.” Roger said and gestured to you to go and sit with the rest of the guys who had already noticed what was happening.

“Guess who’s a cheating asshole?” I asked while sitting next to Brian and Chrissie.

“Everyone knows the answer, darling.” Freddie said, and laughed. “Cheers” he said sarcastically and drowned a shot.

Roger came back and sat next to me, his head was again on my shoulder and stole Deacy’s beer.

“I guess we’re the singles of the group” He said laughing and the guys turned to look at you both.

“y/n is single?” John asked and you closed your eyes and sighed

“Mark cheated on me, last week, but please, let's not talk about it” You said and stole Roger’s beer (Deacy’s).

“Guess we should date now” Roger said giggling and his breath tickled your neck.

“Yeah” you laughed and looked down at him. “I guess we should”

After that night at the bar, your relationship with Roger grew stronger, your ex’s were forgotten and you went out with Rog and the guys (Sometimes only with Roger) every sunday, after 4 months of a heartbreak, your heart felt stronger and happier.

Today you were planning a picnic to celebrate Valentine’s day.

The guys couldn't make it because they were spending the evening with their girls, it was only Roger and you.

You baked a pie, packed some beers and a bottle of wine, Roger found a perfect spot to see the sunset, he was going to pick you up and take you there, you were wearing a sundress and some stilettos that you loved, it was soft but pretty, definitely something you would wear.

Roger honked and you went to meet him, you could see he was wearing a white shirt and a pair of old jeans, he looked perfect, that's something a friend would say to another without developing feelings, right?

“You gonna stare at me the whole day or are you coming?” He said opening the car door for you.

“I was waiting for you to open my door, like a gentleman” you said sitting and dropping the picnic basket in the back seat

“Shall we?” He said pointing his head to the road

“We shall” you said patting his knee an giggling

The car ride was fun, as always, we were singing (screaming) every song on the radio, Roger rolled down the windows and our hair was messier than ever, you felt free and alive, it's funny how you always get to feel like that when you are around him.

Roger took your hand and put it under his on the gear stick.

You looked at him and smiled, you felt something new in your heart, love? maybe, but you were sure Roger would take care of your heart.

---

That’s pretty much it haha, I really hope you like it, if you do, don’t forget to ask for the second part!

I really loved this one and im so excited to continue writting it.

Don’t forget to repost, like and share!

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor smut #Queen #queen band #queen imagine #Brian May #brian may imagine #brian may x reader #brian may x you #brian may x reader smut #John Deacon #john deacon x reader #freddie mercury #freddie mercury x you

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 3 years

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Requests Are Open!

That’s right, my requests are finally open after far too long! Yayyy!! Thank you for all your support and patience, I really can’t wait to properly start writing for you guys again! 🥰 🥰

Here’s who I write for:

Stranger Things:

- Steve

- Robin

- Nancy

- Jonathan

Riverdale:

- Sweet Pea

- Fangs

- Toni

- Cheryl

- Veronica

- Reggie

- Josie

- Kevin

- Archie

- Betty

- Jughead

- FP

- Jason

- Hermione

- Alice

The End of The F***ing World:

- James

- Alyssa

5sos:

- Calum

- Luke

- Ashton

- Michael

Sex Education:

- Otis

- Eric

- Maeve

- Adam

- Jackson

- Aimee

- Lily

- Orla

Killing Eve:

- Villanelle

- Eve

Prodigal Son:

- Malcolm

- Dani

- Ainsley

- JT

- Jessica

- Dr Edrisa

- Dr Martin

- Gil

WandaVision:

- Wanda

- Vision

- Darcy

- Jimmy

- Monica

Miscellaneous:

- Harry Styles

- Peter Parker/Tom Holland

- Bucky Barnes

Here’s a link to my current prompt list which is running until the 4th of August:

song lyric prompts

Here’s a link to my (many) masterlists

And if you’d like, here is a link to my ko-fi! But please don’t feel any pressure to donate.

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alleycat97 · 4 years

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Catfight

Tag list :@paolaqueen5580 @fundamentalromantic

Pairing: Chloe x Mc(Bea)

@paolaqueen5580 thank you for the idea and I hope you like it!

...

It was time, the elbows have been rubbed and the talent had been showed. It was time to become the new Queen. Poppy took her step forward only to be stopped dead by,

“Chloe St. James!”

The audience gasped. Poppy stood, mouth agape. Even Bea couldn’t believe it. She was upset she didn’t win, but good for Chloe she thought, she couldn’t be too upset with this outcome.

Until Poppy couldn’t handle the loss and tried to steal Chloe’s moment, she wouldn’t stop until she verbally abused everyone in the room and the main reason for her loss, Wannabee Hughes.

“This is all YOUR fault.” Poppy screamed stomping her way over to Bea.

What happened next was legendary, Bea Hughes exposed Poppy’s family secret and sent her off crying, CRYING.

There was cheers for Bea all through the hall. She finally did it, although she didn’t win, she beat Poppy. She gathered up the trophy and crown and gave them rightfully to Chloe.

“Congrats Chloe, I’m sorry we ruined your moment, but I’m so happy you won.” Bea said giving her a small hug.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Ina staring at her as if she was a monster, an imposter of some sorts. When Ina noticed Bea watching her, she shook her head and ran out the door.

“Would the Queen and runner up like to say anything?” Thomas asked trying to regain the crowds attention.

“I’m sorry, I’ve gotta run!” Bea said leaping off the stage and out the exit.

“Where....where are you?” Bea frantically searched the quad for Ina.

A pair of delicate hands pulled her aside and up against a building.

“Ina!”

“Listen Bea, after your little stunt, I think it’s best if we steer clear from each other. We are obviously not mature enough to keep this going and now knowing the real you, I want to pass.”

“But Ina! This is not who I am! I’m...”

“Goodbye Bea.”

Bea was crushed, Ina was gone. But to be fair, it was probably the right decision. She had been cold to Ina, and sure, she tried to use her as leverage, but she felt a connection, a real connection. But hell, it was college, she felt that with mostly everyone.

“Ahhh look how the mighty have fallen.”

Bea stopped in her tracks, “Leave me alone Poppy.” Bea raised her head to see Poppy sitting by the fountain.

“I don’t think so Winchester. You may have beaten me tonight, but I’m miles ahead of you. I may lose everything after your revelation, but I assure you, you will pay.” Poppy smirked. “You’re no better than me, you’re just another monster and soon, they will see it too.”

“Blow it out of your ass Sinclair, you’re ruined, and I’m not even close to you.”

“On the contrary, I’ll get to rest, and freshen up. I’m still connected wannabe. And news flash, you still couldn’t win. You may have most of the student body brainwashed, but you couldn’t even beat Chloe. You let that ditzy bimbo beat you!” Poppy mocked.

For some reason, and Bea couldn’t answer why, but the comments about Chloe did it for her, rage filled her body.

“Ahhhhh!” Bea screamed charging Poppy, tackling her into the fountain.

“You bitch!” Poppy scrambled to her feet, returning the attack.

The catfight was on and the kicking and clawing began. Bea found purchase of Poppy’s delicate hair and began yanking it. Cliche.

Poppy squealed in pain as she reared back and socked Bea square in the nose.

“Ow! I’m going to kill you! You bitch that was my nose! Owwww! I think it’s broken!” Bea said trying not to cry due to the immense pain.

“Looks like an improvement.” Poppy mocked. “Ow! My eye!” Bea took advantage of Poppy’s distraction and slugged her, blackening her eye.

The two locked up once again, clawing and scratching, collapsing into the water again.

Once they both went under, the cool water startled them into submission. Both ending the fight and the two slowly climbed out of the fountain.

“Poppy!” The two were interrupted by her parents who quickly jerked her aside looking her over with disappointment.

Bea just shifted from foot to foot awkwardly as Poppy’s parents chewed her out and shot Bea an ugly look before leaving with Poppy.

Bea sighed, bloody, hurting, cold and now dripping wet. She limped her way back towards the Gala but as she entered, Chloe intercepted her.

“Oh my god! What happened to you?” Chloe asked concerned.

“Me and Poppy got into a disagreement.”

“Jesus Bea! Your nose!”

“You should see her.” Bea tried to laugh it off, the adrenaline had wore off and her nose began to hurt like hell.

“We gotta get you to the doctor!”

“I’m ok Chloe, really. You should stay here and celebrate your award.”

“No!” Chloe demanded. “I’m so tired of everyone telling me what to do!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean...”

“I am my own woman! I’ll do as I want and I am taking you to the doctor whether you like it or not!”

Okkkk, independent Chloe was scary as fuck, but also hot.

“Ok.” Bea sighed defeated.

“Veronica!!!!” Chloe screamed out across the room, so loud the music cut out and people began to stare.

“I’m taking Bea to the hospital!!!! Poppy beat her up! We will be back later!”

Bea tried to hide from the muffled laughter and appalled looks, way to go Chloe.

“Ok I’m ready let’s go.”

The girls checked into the hospital and were put in a room immediately. Luckily Bea’s nose wasn’t broken, it was just dislocated.

After a quick adjustment and a very painful pop back into place, Bea could breathe again. The doctor cleaned her cuts and gave Chloe some ointment to apply to the affected areas twice a day.

Back at Bea’s dorm, Chloe insisted she stay. She said it was her responsibility.

“Chloe you don’t have to. The doctor said I can apply the ointmemt myself.”

“No no. He gave it to me. I should be the one to do it.”

“Yes but he didn’t literally mean...” Bea stopped her reply when Chloe shot her, her ‘determined’ look. She clearly wasn’t leaving.

“Ok fine. You can apply it.”

“Yayyy!” Chloe cheered. “Now, hold still.”

Chloe delicately and calmly smeared the cream over Bea’s cuts with her thumb. Her silky smooth hands rested against Bea’s cheek as she stuck her tongue out and narrowed her eyes in concentration as her thumb moved softly over the cuts.

Bea couldn’t help but get lost in the touch. This may not be so bad. She closed her eyes begging for more.

When Chloe stopped, Bea couldn’t help but pout. She opened her eyes and jumped alittle. When did Chloe get so close? Her mouth was just inches away.....

As if Chloe developed mind reading powers, she inched closer and Bea didn’t refuse her.

The two locked into a delicate make out session, Chloe gently pushing Bea back onto the couch and crawling on top.

Zoey and Veronica had paired up to look for the girls after they had ghosted them hours after they left for the hospital. Zoey gave up and invited Veronica over for some Tea.

“Holy Shit!” Zoey screamed in delight as Chloe and Bea leaped apart.

“Damnit!” Veronica hissed. “I didn’t get that on video. Can we do a retake?”

“A retake? Hell no go away!” Bea yelled retreating to her room.

Chloe just shrugged and followed Bea.

“Did you just see what I saw?” Zoey said in shock.

“Looks like a new power couple.”

#playchoices #pixelberry #chloe st james #chloe x mc #queen b chloe #queen b mc #queen b poppy #queen b choices #queen b veronica #poppy min sinclair #zoey wade #queen b ina #veronica lombardi

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jakemoogle · 4 years

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top five things i associate with you: sonic, glee, kingdom hearts, veronica mars and playstation

Yayyy, I get so happy when people especially think of sonic and VMars whenever I’m on here hahaha.

#shumalek

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voltron-toast · 6 years

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My Predictions/Notes as I watched S7 (Part 1)

1. Hunk + Romelle? What about Shay?

2. KEITH IS BEING SUCH A GOOD LEADER SKFNSKDMMDKDKFMF

3. Is this an alternate reality...??? Like are they even in the right reality? I mean- Coran and such never went in with them when fighting Lotor so nvm that doesnt make sense

4. WHAT IS HAPPENING THO

5. Coran locked in a closet is a mood

6. i love hunk

7. I LOVE ROMELLE

8. NOOOO COSMO WTF DONT HURT MY BOY

9. Wtf is happening IM SO CONFUSED. THE WEIRD LOOKING GENERALS APPEAR NOW ONTO E3 WYJDJDJDK?????

10. Krolia is a savage but leave my boy lance aloneeee

11. GIVE CORAN THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT SJDNKDKSM I literally love him so much

12. The mice are amazing

13. UMMM EZOR X ZETHRID I SHIP IT OMFNFJEKDKDIKC wheres acxa tho

14. Speak of the devil and he shall appear IM IN LOVE WITH HER OMFG

15. How much time has passed?

16. I literally love Lance sm

17. Acxa x Keith?

18. Pink bayard???? Is that a mistake

19. UM WTF KEITH WTFFFFF

20. DKJDKFJSJDJDJKXKF WHAT.

21. Krolia didnt look phased at all also LANCE STEPPING UP AS SECOND IN COMMAND YESSSS

22. 3 years holy shit?

23. Another bonding moment parallel

24. holy shiz im shook so much has changed

25. GAME SHOWWWW

26. Zarkon’s highfive fail tho

27. Haggard seems to be the only one acting ‘normal’ or like herself... JK nevermind she “treasures” his art hmmmm

28. ZARKON EIFJWLDMDMA f u. i stg. lance isnt dumb UGHHH

29. ))): i want to hug him ughhhhhhhhh

30. )): i sad- oh wtf did pidge do ummmm im confuseddddd what is this magic?

31. IM CRYING- LANCE WAS SO SWEET ABOUT VOTING KEITH AND THEN KEITH JUST HAD TO MAKE THAT REMARK I MISSED THEM SO MUCH WHDJRKMFMFM

32. They were all so sweet to each other it hurts

33. Also Lance’s face when he said Keith was the future wtf thats so gay? Theyre grown so much

34. im so shook rn wtf

35. Pidge is actually me with my nightmares gog im such a nerd.

36. ROMELLE IS SO CUTE

37. Krolia and Keith are so cute

38. Keith was so surprised when he died

39. HUNK YESSSS now im hungry i havent eaten breakfast rip

40. KEITH DIDNT NAME THE WOLF? HIS REASONING FOR IT IS SO CUTE THOOOO SJDKMFOSJ

41. Beautiful show bii boh bii

42. Wait- Wheres acxa? did i miss something- rippppppp shes gone

43. who is this dude

44. Is kolivan dead o_o? nooooooo sidjdjfkkdkdks nononooooo did he? NOOOO jdjdkdnfkdkdofofk All the blades ))):???? This is so sad wtf

45. Wtf is happening? OH- OH NO WTF YOU LITTLE UGHHHH KILL HIM- NONONONONO KOSMO SAVED KEITH GOOD BUT POOR EVERYONE ELSE STUCKKKK AGHHHH

46. NOOOOO KOSMO NONONONONO HIS LITTLE YELP )))):

47. Keith has abilities v cool

48. Ok kosmo is good, yay

49. KROLIA IS LEAVING?

50. NOOOOO, Keith is a good son though I hope she doesnt die- Awwwwwwwwwwwe hes so cute I cant AHHHHH He says I love you a lot now ;)))) jk only twice but still my heart just AH

51. well damn shiro. blunt af

52. they look so terrible omfg their eyes )))): nooooo hunk ;-;

53. Um Keith what the fuck oh nvm hes just going insane

54. KEITH WTF DONT SAY THAT. Hunk good i love you so much

55. Wtf is happening. Earth? WHAT? HOW? WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? This is fake. It has to be.

56. Hunk i love you- RUNNNNNNN aJdjfkfkfkm

57. A team again yayyy

58. Those wings wtf was that Lance and Keith? Wow they make a great team

59. so thats where the season would have ended and i would have hated how shortttt thank gog its 13 eps i would have DIED

60. OH NO WE SEE IT HAPPEN???? My heart I cant omfg noooooo nonono

61. Colleeeeen yayyyyyyy cuties hehe

62. im too shook to type

63. Iverson is not horrible and Colleen has balls. Theyre gonna get so much shit ughhhhh im WORRIEDDDDD

64. James is cool i hope hes not a dick anymore

65. THIS IS SO CUTE MINI MESSAGES AWWWW LANCE’S FAMILYYYY AJDJDKDKDKMDMS The fact that Keith has no one to go home to is sad but his home is with him I suppose

66. Iverson say something u shit STAND UP AGAINST THAT HOE YESSSSS GOOD JOB HAHAHA TAKE THAT OLD HAGGGG

67. Noooooooo )): go away galraaaaa

68. No. Thats Adam. Theyre gonna kill Adam. Please let there be a miracle... Nonononononononononono NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NON ONONOSKKDKDKDKDKD NO NO NONONONO No. Thats not real. No. FUCK YOU OLD HAG no. not adam ): noooo all those people UGH I CANT. im so upset- I *sigh* f u hag

69. why hVent we heard blonde or other dude talk? im so pissed about adam

70. random af- allurance is gonna be canon calling it now ;)))

71. veronica is pretty

72. Im so upset about Adam :,))

73. Aw he said quiznak that made me happy for a moment im still pissed about adam

74. give shiro a break damnit.

75. maybe hes not dead :,))) maybe he crashed and is captured by galra and is missing an arm to match his ex and just -sobs-

76. Veronica black paladin/leader of cadets i like her ;)))

77. Why dont they say their first names, gosh so professional GASP

78. Voltron did you just kill Veronica? R u kidding meeeeee You better not have Im so pissed rn

79. Sendak is sadly smart

80. OK GOOD SHES ALIVE GOOD I WAS HELLA PISSED. Is Adam actually dead though? Ughhhhhhhhhh im still sad ):

81. shiro’s been quiet this season i just realized

82. Lance and Keith are cute “Dont miss” awwwe

83. James niceee KEITH RECOGNIZE???? Shiro doesnt have Adam to return to :,)))) LANCE’S FAMILY I HAD GOOSEBUMPS WHERES HUNK’S FAMILY AW CUTIE WHERE ARE THEY EINFKFKDNDKDKDK MY HEART

84. KEITH AND IVERSON HAND SHAKE NICEEEE AW I LIKE IVERSON

85. So Adam is dead. -deep breath- Oh Shiro im sorry... Them in Garrison outfits are weird af

86. Griffin is jealous

87. i literally want to cry about adam

88. call back to season one

89. oh hunk i want to hug you so much ))): Keith and Hunk bonding awwwwwwe WTF KEITH YOU ARE SUCH A BABE AND HUNK YESSSSSSS

90. oh i forgot to type here oops

91. allurance!!! but why does she suddenly have feelings for him idk i dont like how its been done atm.

92. why isnt red coming to lance? o.O

93. is it because he cant concentrate or somethhing else?

94. wtf red why u have to be so dramatic

95. fuck you old hag, literally hate you more than zarkon

96. voltrons dead rip

97. now they sleep a long time, correct?

98. keith ily -sobs- please do something

99. jk they arent sleeping? shut up hag im sorry but youre literally the biggest idiot sigh. i feel bad but i cant. you just. SIGH.

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wigwurq · 7 years

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WIG REVIEW: BATTLE OF THE SEXES

We all know who wins at the end of the Battle of the Sexes, the 1973 tennis tournament/public spectacle between 29yo Billie Jean King and 55yo Bobby Riggs and yet it is a win that we all needed to see again in 2017 in movie form. I really wish this movie had come out on November 10, 2016. It would have been cathartic to see the reaction shots of misogynist men seeing a lady reign supreme and, well, it still felt cathartic now, almost a year later. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WIGS? Let’s discuss:

When we first meet Ms. King as played by tanned insect Emma Stone, she has subtle Farrah waves. This wig isn’t terrible. Meanwhile, Sarah Silverman serves up Jacqueline Susann realness with some extra frosted action in this gingham fantasy cocktail dress. YAYYYS MA’AM. I think I need to renew my wedding vows so that my mom can recreate this lewk.

Anyway, after getting no respect from Bill Pullman (yes, BILL PULLMAN), Billie Jean decides to start her own damn ladies tennis tour (wurrrrrqqqqqqqq!) and nothing says the start of ladies tennis tour like a trip to the salon, amiright?

There at the salon, BJK realizes that she might have some feeeeeeeeeelings for the lady hairdresser. This is also where the movie gets really boring (nothing against lesbian love, obvs - sadly it is expressed as really moody and boring in contrast to the fun of the rest of the movie!)

Anyway, whatever - you go, gurls. Again, this wig is fine.

As is this shorter shag the lady hairdresser/new mistress gives her.

Oh meanwhile, BJK was apparently married at the time to a blonde Ken Doll and possibly the most supportive husband of all time. Dude straight up looks the other way at lesbian affairs, will totally ice your knees, lawyer up all your Virginia Slims tennis deals all while looking like he’s going to escort Barbie to a date at a 70s disco ski lodge or something.

Back to Emma Stone’s wig, I guess my biggest problem is that is just doesn’t look like BJK’s real hair. HERE is the real BJK and Bobby Riggs (who looks pretty much exactly like Steve Carell - a good dude wig for once!) But BJK? NOPE. I don’t know why it’s so hard to find a feathered 70s shag wig that has the body and texture of this hair. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO DO?!

THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE BJK HAIR! OK? OK.

The other ladies of the Virginia Slims Tennis Tour all serve up (that is actually a pun here - ugh TENNIS) some good lewks - most of them wiglessly. Oh and if you look into the center of this picture you will see a Becca/Jules SuperBad reunion! They’re also apparently really good friends in real life - thanks internet!

These lady tennis players also serve up FASHION. JUST LOOK AT THESE EFFING TENNIS DRESSES. Here is where we get to the true stars of this movie:

ALAN EFFING CUMMING and also Wallace Langham (aka Josh from Veronica’s Closet) play the dudes who design these glamorous tennis gowns and also provide support, wisdom, and general sassiness. If this story were a fairy tale, they would obviously be the fairy godmothers (all puns intended).

LOOK AT WHAT THEY’RE WEARING TO AN AIRPORT IN HAWAII.

LOOK AT THEIR VAGUELY MATCHING LEWKS AND PORTABLE CHAMPAGNE GLASSES. I WANT TO BE THEM WHEN I GROW UP.

I think that Alan Cumming’s hair is just styled into the coif it should always be and Wallace Langham is wearing a wiglet but DAMN IT WURQS SO WHATEVER. Also at the end of this movie (absolutely no spoilers) Alan Cumming absolutely does his best Rupert Everett in My Best Friend’s Wedding impersonation and it makes me wonder what Rupert Everett is up to and can he be in a movie with Alan Cumming please? Thanks.

Oh also - basically everyone is in this movie INCLUDING ELISABETH SHUE. She doesn’t wear a wig but I just want everyone to know that she is getting work and looks AMAZING.

EVERYTHING SHE IS DOING IN THIS PICTURE WURQS. I amend my previous statement: I want to be Elisabeth Shue in this picture when I grow up.

VERDICT: WURQS

#wigwurq #wurq #battleofthesexes #emmastone #billiejeanking #bjk #bobbyriggs #tennis #stevecarell #alancumming #elisabethshue #wiglet #glamour #icedknees #fairygodmothers

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aristocratlegacy · 5 years

Photo

Chapter Sixty-Seven: Bar Crawl

Ok first chapter with Gen eight as adults! I’m gonna do one more of them in the city living together because that was so fun to do- sorta reminded me of the old days when you could send all of the spares and stuff together to uni in ts2 legacies. That was fun. I’m also going to do the first heir poll for the first time in like 100 years, even though I have a personally clear favorite, I’m still gonna leave it up to change. Enjoy!

9 PM

Pierce: “Oh my god, guys, you’re never going to believe what a shitty day I had at wo-”

Pierce: “What the fuck?”

Chloe: “Hey there Hawkeye! You’re late!”

Pierce: “I was at work, Chloe. What the hell is going on here?”

Chloe: “What does it look like?”

Pierce: “It looks like a party.”

Chloe: “Duh. Want me to get you a drink?”

Pierce: “No, I wasn’t invited so it might be weird.”

Chloe: “Invited? What? Oh- ok. Bye I guess…..he’s so weird. Oh my god Izzy hey cutie!”

?: “Hey, Vivien, how’s showbiz?”

Vivien: “Do I know you? Oh! You must know me from my commercial work as woman with boil! Or perhaps dead stipper number five?. I was so proud of the work I did on that those, I think it’ll really help a lot of people understand the workings of the world.”

Stranger: “Oh, uh, no- I just...live next door. We’ve met like, five times.”

Vivien: “Really? Huh. I don’t remember any of that.”

Stranger: “Oh. I should check out that commercial you’re talking about, I’d love to see it.”

Vivien: “I’m sure you would, it’s genre-transcending really.”

Stranger: “I’m Walter Trimble.”

Vivien: “Ok. Bye Walker!”

Walter: “Oh...bye.”

Chloe: “OMG, I want you to meet my brother, he’s an art critic too so I think you’d really hit it off!”

Izzy: “Oh is your brother Pierce Aristocrat? He definitely didn’t get a few of Nancy Landgraab’s latest pieces.”

Chloe: “Well then you’ll get to pick his brain! Where is he….”

Chloe: “Hey, Vivi? Have you seen Pierce?”

Vivien: “No? Darling, I just got recognized for the boil ad! That guy Wallace over there quoted the entire ad from memory. He’s basically obsessed with me I’m his favorite actress.”

Chloe: “Cute! I’m gonna look for Pierce”

Pierce: “Hey!”

Vivien: “I just heard him, though.”

Pierce: “This isn’t like a spare closet or something, you can’t just make out in here you absolute hooligans!”

Chloe: “Pierce! There you are! Why are you, like, hiding in a cave when we’re having a party?”

Pierce: “Are we having a party? You didn’t even tell me about it, I wasn’t even invited! Who does that?”

Chloe: “I’m still not seeing a problem. Come out and meet my friend Izzy!”

Pierce: “No! I don’t want to go to your stupid party, Chloe.”

Chloe: “Ugh, I hate how you get like this! I’m sorry I wanted to have fun and have people over in our awesome apartment that we live in together.”

Pierce: “Then I guess I’m sorry for being pissed that I wasn’t invited to a party taking place in my own house.”

Chloe: “Great! So now that we’ve all apologized, come out and talk to people!”

Pierce: “......I’m just gonna talk to the cat the whole time.”

Chloe: “Oooooh, I don’t know about that, Walter Trimble from next door has had a monopoly on Teacup all night. He’s really awkward, poor thing.”

Pierce: “Yeah, to be awkward is obviously such a curse. How dare he not feel comfortable at a party you probably invited him to from his mailbox.”

Chloe: “Oh my gooood, Hawkeye! You’re obviously mad-”

Pierce: “I’m not mad.”

Chloe: “Yes you are!”

Pierce: “No I’m not.”

Chloe: “Are.”

Pierce: “Fine! I’m mad!”

Chloe: “UGH! What do you want me to do? Kick everybody out and go somewhere else?”

Pierce: “I mean, it would be a start.”

Chloe: “You’re ridiculous, I’m not gonna do that.”

Pierce: “Then why did you offer?!”

Vivien: “OH MY GOD!.”

Vivien: “Guys! I just got the part in Alpha Centuri!!! I’m gonna be legit famous now! Some of my castmates are gonna be at Orchid tonight, so I’m gonna bounce.

Partygoer: “Seriously?”

Pierce” “...”

Chloe: “Oh shut up. Fine.”

Chloe: “Hey everybody! We’re going to the club! We’re all drunk so I’m gonna call us a party bus!”

Party: “Woooo!”

Chloe: “Yayyy!”

Chloe: “Wait, are you coming?”

Pierce: “Yeah. Why?”

Chloe: “I just can’t with you sometimes, you know that, Pierce?”

Pierce: “Oh I know.”

10 PM

Chloe: “Is this it?”

Vivien: “Yup!”

Vivien: “Hi there! I was told I would be on the list for the Alpha Centuri cast meetup? Vivien Aristocrat.”

Bouncer: “Uhhhh...yeah, you’re on the list, but your accompanying...guests aren’t.”

Vivien: “Oh I have a plus one.”

Bouncer: “Right. A plus one.”

Vivien: “I don’t understand.”

Bouncer: “You can’t bring all these people in here.”

Vivien: “But I have a plus one.”

Bouncer: “So….pick on of your friends and go inside.

Vivien: “Well, I tried, sorry nerds, I’m gonna go party with the beautiful people- toodles!”

Chloe: “Seriously Vivi?”

Pierce: “SO lame.”

Chloe: “I’ll try to sweettalk her.”

Chloe: “Hey,”

Bouncer: “Not on the list.”

Chloe: “But...I’m level ten charisma. Look into my beautiful eyes and tell me I can’t go wherever I want.”

Bouncer: “Ok. You can go in.”

Chloe: “Without my friends?”

Pierce: “Chloe, I know what you’re thinking, and you can’t abandon me with all of the people from a party that you threw.”

Bouncer: “Look, you guys gotta move away from the door.”

Chloe: “Unbelievable. I’m gonna kill Vivi.”

Walter: “Um...h-hi. I could try.”

Chloe: “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

Walter: “Yes. I’m Walter Trimble. I live next door. We’ve met many times. A package of yours was delivered to me last week?”

Chloe: “Sweetie, if I can’t get us in then I don’t think you could.”

Pierce: “Wow, he’s really gonna give it a go good for him.”

Chloe: “Is he waving us over there?”

Pierce: “Did...did Walter Trimble do something?”

Chloe: “Omg Walter you did it! How did you pull that off? Do you know this guy or something?”

Bouncer: “No, we just met….he just does some business with the club.”

Pierce: “What kind of business?”

Walter: “Secret business! Doesn’t matter let’s go inside!”

Pierce: “Hey- thanks for ditching us out there!”

Vivien: “You are so welcome. It’s nice to get that appreciation from you.”

Pierce: “No, I was being sarcastic, I’m still mad at you.”

Vivien: “Well how am I supposed to know that. How’d you get in anyway? Find a back door?”

Pierce: “No, it was super weird, that guy Walter from next door said something to the bouncer and he just….let us all inside.”

Vivien: “Seriously? That guy? What’d he say?”

Pierce: “He wouldn’t tell us. It was totally sketch.”

Vivien: “Which one is he again?”

Pierce: “Checked shirt, three o’clock.”

Vivien: “Oh there’s gotta be something fishy going on there, right?”

Pierce: “That’s what I thought. Move, I wanna get a drink.”

Vivien: “Walter, Walter, Walter...what are you hiding?”

*Crash*

Stranger: “Oh my god, I totally just spilled my drink all over you I’m so sorry!”

Vivien: “How DARE y-...hi.”

Stranger: “Did you just turn a furious comeback into a meet-cute?”

Vivien: “Trying to.”

Stranger: “I’m Veronica- you look familiar.”

Vivien: “So do you- do I know you from somewhere?”

Veronica: “I must just have...one of those faces.”

Vivien: “No, I’d remember seeing a girl as beautiful as you before.”

Veronica: “You’re...not so bad yourself.”

Pierce: “Wow...so much for detective Vivien I guess. Where’s Chloe?”

Pierce: “Is that Dustin Broke? How can that girl talk her way in with anybody?”

Even Stranger Stranger: “I have come to understand that talking to oneself isn’t acceptable in public places.”

Pierce: “Aah! Jesus- you snuck up on me. Sorry, I do that sometimes. Am I bothering you?”

Stranger Stranger: “Negative. Where I come from everybody converses aloud to themselves. It feels like home.”

Pierce: “And where exactly is that?”

Stranger Stranger: “I come from the source where energy and all life grows. I am not from any one place I am but from…..the moment.”

Pierce: “Wow. That’s really deep. So are you an artist or something?”

Stranger Stranger: “Artist….yes. I am an eccentric artist from this world.”

Pierce: “I’m an artist too...or I’m trying to be. I’m a critic right now, and I’m really good at it, but I do want to do my own art. I just feel like I haven’t had my big break of inspiration yet, though.”

Stranger Stranger: “Have you looked under your bed?”

Pierce: “For my inspiration?”

Stranger Stranger: “Or perhaps, in your zero-g chamber?”

Pierce: “Huh...that’s….not bad actually. Like underwater photography with the hair all crazy.”

Pierce: “I’m Pierce, by the way.”

Stranger Stranger: “ I have been deemed TIFFANOR.”

Pierce: “Oh, that’s pretty cool. Is that like an artist name or were your parents...modern too?”

“And a special guest tonight for a surprise performance by DJ Fliphop!!! Make some noise1”

Chloe: “Omg I love Fliphop . Not crazy about the name though. Wanna dance, Dustin?”

Dustin Broke: “Hell yeah, this dude’s my bro. Never seen him with the helmet off, though.”

Chloe: “I know! I heard that he’s, like, super secretive. Nobody knows his true identity.”

Dustin: “I read a theory it was Rudy Quick in there.” Chloe: “Oh man, I’d love to see my sister’s face if that were true.”

Vivien: “I feel so in sync with you, Veronica.”

Veronica: “I know- it’s like I’ve known you for my entire life.” Tiffanor: “I love these sounds! It sounds like my dreams!”

Pierce: “You dream in Technopop?”

DJ Fliphop : “Thank you everybody! Peace!”

Tiffanor: “The moon is almost in the third easternly quadrant. There is a gathering of other….Artists. On the beach. To display our projects.”

Pierce: “So like a gallery opening?”

Tiffanor: “.....yes.”

Pierce: “That sounds dope- can we bring the party?”

Tiffanor: “Affirmative.”

Chloe: “So where exactly are we going, Pierce?”

Pierce: “Like a cool underground gallery party at a beach for artists.”

Chloe: “Artists? Gallery? Is this gonna be some wine and cheese crap because we need to keep the momentum goin!”

Pierce: “Look at that girl. Are you telling me that she’s not taking us somewhere cool at 1 am?”

Chloe: “...Fine. She does look pretty cool. I’ll give you an hour, that’ll give me time to scope out somewhere seriously dope.”

Pierce: “Deal”

MIDNIGHT

Chloe: “This seems really weird, Hawkeye.”

Pierce: “Don’t be a baby, you’re making us look uncultured!”

Artist: “Welcome to the Coalition of Ali-st….Aliartists. It’s a new modernist movement. You can call me Kourtnacht, this is Huxlous, to their left is Garyl, then there’s Isablank, and you know our famous Tiffanor!”

Garyl: “Go, enjoy the gallery, look deeply into the eyes of any statues you see, and the ceremony shall commence in a half of one our.”

Walter: “C...ceremony?”

Chloe: “That’s a fair question. What kind of ceremony?”

Pierce: “Oh my god, Chloe, you can’t just ask him that.” Chloe: “Why? We’re invited.”

Pierce: “I’m sorry about her.”

Tiffanor: “It’s, how you say, ‘all good, dawg’”

Chloe: “I don’t get it.”

Dustin: “I dunno, this one is kinda cool. Like...if you look into it’s eyes…”

Dustin: “......................”

Chloe: “Dustin?”

Dustin: “...............”

Chloe: “DUSTIN!”

Dustin: “What? Where…...what year is it?”

Chloe: “Ugh, this party sucks so bad. Is there a bar- I need to keep the momentum of this party going or everybody’s gonna leave.”

Veronica: “I love all your black and white clothes.”

Vivien: “I love yours too. My brother and I have always thought black and white was really classy.”

Veronica: “Totally. I just feel like you totally get me, y’know?”

Vivien: “I feel that way too. Ok- on three, what’s your favorite movie?”

Veronica: “1...2..- Devil Wears Prada!”

Vivien: “The ad I did for Boil Gone!”

Veronica: “Well...I guess that’s not the same, but we have a lot else in common!”

Vivien: “Before I did the boil ad, Devil Wears Prada was my favorite movie. Miranda Priestly is my role model.”

Veronica: “Awww!”

Pierce: “All this art is crazy cool. Thanks for inviting us.”

Tiffanor: “Yes. We love the arts.”

Pierce: “Pfft- check that out, my sister is making out with somebody that looks just like her.”

Tiffanor: “I onced kissed my clone under the full moon against a crystal sky.”

Pierce: “Oh so is that like a common fantasy for people then? Huh- I definitely don’t think I’d want to hang out with myself for too long.”

Huxlous: “Pierce! Kourtnacht and I were having a disagreement about her piece, what do you think it means?”

Pierce: “Hmmm….well...The stark slab suggests the hopelessness of humanity, while the perfect circle is the opening oppritunity for good. The fact that it’s hollow on the inside indicates that it’s not as hard to break through as first impressions may imply. Overall, a very hopeful peice.”

Kourtnacht: “Yes! That is precicely what I was saying!” Huxlous: “You are a very intelectual man, Pierce. We may consider inducting you into our organization.”

Pierce: “Dope, would I be able to display stuff at the gallery and stuff?”

Chloe: “Woo! Party!”

Partygoer: “Hey, this was really fun- but I think we’re gonna take off.”

Chloe: “Oh no! Why?”

Partygoer: “This is just getting a little weird and it’s really late, let me know if you’re doing something else this weekend though!”

Chloe: “Okay...bye cutie!”

Chloe: “Where. Is. Pierce.”

Chloe: “Pierce! People are starting to leave, we gotta rally and get somewhere livelier.”

Alien: “Let the Ceremony begin!”

Pierce: “Let’s just stay for a few more minutes to watch this and then we can take off.”

Chloe: “This is weird.”

Pierce: “No it’s just like...performance art.”

Vivien: “What the hell are we supposed to be watching?”

Chloe: “Uh-uh. I draw the line at chanting. C’mon squad- let’s boogie!”

1 AM

Pierce: “So, Chlo- where are we going exactly?”

Vivien: “Who cares where we go when I’m lost in your eyes.”

Pierce: “You know I wasn’t talking to you, please don’t use me as a setup for your pickup lines.”

Veronica: “I love it when you talk about how beautiful I am. I love your face.”

Vivien: “I love your face.”

Chloe: “She knows right? I mean, she has to know.”

Pierce: “Would she still be into it if she knew?”

*giggles from Veronica and Vivien*

Chloe: “It seems pretty on brand for Vivien to fall in love with herself.”

Pierce: “She’s gotta know.”

Chloe: “She doesn’t know, does she?”

Pierce: “No. She definitely doesn’t know. We have to get out in front of this one.”

Chloe: “Where are we gonna go though.”

Partygoer: “Chloe- we’re gonna head out, it’s getting late.”

Chloe: “Are you sure?”

Chloe: “Dustin- you’re famous, and people are dropping like flies. Where should we go.”

Dustin: “Well...I had an idea. We’ve got some star power in this group, so I was thinking, combined, we’re like one really famous person. She’s an actress, you’ve got half the town wearing sunhats in October, he’s probably reviewed it by now. We could probably get into Studio PBP.”

Chloe: “You think so?”

Dustin: “I do.”

Chloe: “They won’t let us in dressed like this, though.”

Pierce: “I don’t want to go to a thrift shop, Chloe. We don’t have five hours for me to DIY anything we could find into something acceptable.”

Chloe: “Hawkeye, this is an uptown Del Solo thrift shop. It’s just gonna be a bunch of shit from last season and this is an emergency!”

Vivien: “It’s a nice place. Chloe and I once got us into a DJ R!DDL3B01 concert when we were in highschool wearing shit we got here.”

Pierce: “What? When did that happen? Where was I?”

Vivien: “Oh you were just being really moody that day and we thought you wouldn’t want to go.”

Chloe: “Don’’t think about that too hard, let’s go!”

Pierce: “Fine.”

Ohhhh yeaaaaaah

Chloe: “We look so dope, you guys. They’re totally gonna let us in.”

Bouncer: “No.”

Chloe: “Oh come ON! Look at us! We look incredible!”

Vivien: “But we’re famous!”

Bouncer: “Not really.”

Dustin: “I’m famous.”

Bouncer: “Sorta.”

Chloe: “Listen here, buddy- I am not about to let this party die when I’m still ready to have fun. You will let us into this fancy fucking bar or so help me, god.”

Bouncer: “Fine! Fine! Go- jesus…”

Pierce: “I cannot believe that that worked.”

Chloe: “Damn.”

Pierce: “We grew up in a really nice house, and this is the fanciest shit I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Chloe: “Right?”

Dustin: “Sorta quiet, though.”

Chloe: “Right?!”

Judith Ward: “Shh!”

Chloe: “Judith Ward just shushed me. I love that, so rebellious.”

Vivien: “I have a plan.”

Veronica: “What is it, baby?”

Vivien: “I’m gonna sing a song. On the stage, and make everybody listen and they’ll be like holy shit who’s that- oh, it’s the actress that played a dead stripper on CSI and Bones.”

Veronica: “That...doesn’t seem like a great idea.”

Vivien: “I know! It’ll be amazing. Your support means everything to me.”

Veronica: “I’m not...supporting you. You’re gonna get us kicked out.”

Vivien: “Wait...what?”

Chloe: “Yikes. Maybe it’ll run it’s course before we have to handle it.”

Pierce: “While it’s going down though…”

Chloe: “Let’s go mingle.”

Pierce: “She’s not with us!”

Judith Ward: “Shhh!”

Pierce: “Oh my god Judith Ward shushed me, what have I become?”

Chloe: “So badass.”

Veronica: “You always do this, Vivien. Everything always has to be about you.’

Vivien: “About me? You’re like, obsessed with yourself!”

Veronica: “Not as obsessed as you are with yourself!”

Vivien: “I don’t want to do this in public, darling, not again. Can’t we have just one good night out? Like we used to?”

Veronica: “Maybe we could if you weren’t always putting on theatrics and stunts!”

Vivien: “My stunts are the only thing keeping this relationship from going stale!”

Judith Ward: “SHUSH!”

Veronica: “Look what you’ve done. Your theatrics have gotten us shushed by Judith Ward, how could you do this to me. We should take a break.”

Vivien: “You want to take a break? Fine? I’m gonna go dance.”

?: “Oh my god- Dustin Broke? How’ve you been, man?”

Dustin: “Dirk Dreamer, my man! I’m great- how the hell are you?”

Dirk: “It’s been pretty dope man, I can’t complain. Why don’t you and your girl come to the VIP room, and we can catch up.”

Chloe: “We’d love to!”

Dirk: “Pleasantview, man, what a throwback! How’s Brandy?”

Dustin: “She’s dope! I mean...we still live together, but now I own the house. And a lot bigger now.”

Chloe: *yawns*

Dustin: “You all right, babe?”

Chloe: “Yeah it’s just...a little late. This place is a little less fun that I had hoped. Not that this VIP room isn’t amazing I just wanted to keep the momentum goin’ and this is just a little bit…”

Dustin: “Upscale and stuffy?”

Chloe: “Exactly! Like, I made eye contact with Fake Ryan Gosling and Opal’s ghost, which is sick, but other than that...it’s just a guy playing piano and some very expensive drinks. Expensive even for me.

Dirk: “You’ve got a point about the piano, you’d think they could at least get a whole band in here.”

*Voice* “Good evening everyone, I’ll be singing a song tonight.”

Dusitn: “Did...did they hire a band?”

Chloe: “Oh, no.”

Vivien: “aaaAAANNNDDDD IIIIIIIIIEEEIIIIIIIIII wwwIIIILLLLLL ALWAAAAYYYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU”

Dirk: “Yikes, I...take back what I said.”

Chloe: “Oh my god”

Dirk: “Do you know that person?”

Vivien: “I love you so much, Ronnie, please take me back.”

Pierce: “Oh my god, Vivien, stop. You only like her because she looks just like you stop embarrassing us.”

Vivien: “What? She doesn’t look just like m……”

Vivien: “Shit.”

Security: “MA”AM, STEP AWAY FROM THE MICROPHONE. THEY HOST THE OSCARS WITH THAT THING.”

Judith Ward: “SHUT UP!.”

Vivien: “Shh!”

Pierce: “Shh!”

Chloe: “Shh!!”

Partygoer: “Great party, Chloe! G’nite!”

Chloe: “Good night! Thanks for coming!”

Pierce: “So is this when we finally head home?”

Vivien: “Yeah...I just want to curl up somewhere and cry over the mistakes I’ve made that led up to this moment.”

vChloe: “We….can stay out a little longer.”

Pierce: “Yeah, Vivi, we can keep this going for a bit more, let’s see who else is in.”

Dustin: “I’m in.”

Dirk: “I know a great dive we can head to, if you don’t mind me crashing your party.”

Pierce: “What? Chloe? When did you make friends with Dirk Dreamer?”

Chloe: “At the party. Let’s head over there, then.”

Walter: “Can I still come?”

Vivien: “You’re still here? I could’ve sworn you left after the house party.”

Pierce: “No, he got us into the first club, remember?”

Vivien: “I don’t. How’d you manage that?”

Walter: “Oh- I- uh”

Chloe: “Don’t bug him, Vivi. Of course your welcome to come, Radar.”

Walter: “Radar?”

Chloe: “Alright! Hawkeye, Vivi, Dustin, Dirk, Radar, let’s head out.”

3 AM

Pierce: “Okokokok, never have I ever, been pushed in a swimming pool by a Real Housewife.”

Chloe: “Call me out in front of everybody, Hawkeye. All right, I’ll drink. ”

Chloe: “Never have I never….”

Vivien: “Queue the half hour wait while Chloe thinks of something that she hasn’t done.”

Chloe: “What is this? The roast of Chloe Aristocrat?”

Dirk: “Be proud- you’ve got a very fulfilling life.”

Chloe: “So true. Did I tell you guys about the time that Mortimer Goth took me to Sulani on his yacht?”

Pierce: “I still don’t think that happened.”

Dustin: “I’ve never even seen a yacht before.”

Dirk: “Huh...me neither.”

Walter: “A what?”

Chloe: “I love this song! Let’s dance!”

Walter: “Don’t feel like dancing?”

Vivien: “What? Oh...not really.”

Walter: “Love is oft short lived, but that does not make it less worthy.”

Vivien: “I like that. Especially the fancy wording.”

Walter: “It’s not a quote or anything, but people take it more seriously if they think it is.”

Vivien: “That is so clever, here I was just appreciating the dramatic effect.”

Vivien: “Why aren’t you dancing?”

Walter: “I’m just not very good at it.”

Vivien: “Even if that’s true, it’s not like there’s any paparazzi in a place like this.”

Walter: “Oh I wasn’t worried about...cameras or anything, I just don’t like looking silly.”

Vivien: “Oh yeah. I forgot what it was like before I was famous, like, for normal people.”

Walter: “Yeah...I’m totally not famous.”

Vivien: “That was kind of a weird way to say that.”

Chloe: “Vivi! This is our song! Everybody, clear the floor, Gen Eight is gonna show everybody how former child stars do it!”

Pierce: “Chloe, don’t do this.”

Chloe: “Oh, it’s already done.”

Vivien: “Chloe, no, not in front of all these people.”

Walter: “C’mon, it’s not like there’s paparazzi.”

“Woo!”

Dustin: “That was kind of amazing, you guys. I’m gonna have to hire you guys as backup dancers.”

Pierce: “Don’t put that bait in front of Vivien, she’ll take it and refuse to let go.”

Chloe: “He’s right. She’s like a pirrahna.”

Vivien: “Is anybody else starving?”

Pierce: “Yeeesss, I was waiting for somebody to say something first.”

Walter: “Me too.”

Bartender: “Alright, guys, it’s closing time!”

Chloe: “*Yawn* I know we said just one more spot, but is anybody up for breakfast?”

Dustin: ��I’m in.”

Pierce: “There’s some food trucks by our place.”

Dustin: “Dope, because I left my shoes at your place. I’m wearing Pierce’s.”

Pierce: “What? Why?”

Dustin: “I stepped in a puddle on the way here ...and they were really nice.”

5 AM

Pierce: “You wouldn’t think shish kebabs would go down as well at five in the morning.”

Chloe: “But they really do.”

Vivien: “This is the best anything I’ve ever tasted. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

Walter: “Didn’t I see you at this food truck at lunch time?”

Vivien: “I woke up at noon. That was breakfast for me.”

Walter: “Heh...ok.”

Dustin: “Gotta admit, Chloe- this was a pretty fun party.”

Pierce: “Yeah, it really was.”

Vivien: “Best night since we moved to San Myushu, most def.”

Dirk: “To Chloe!”

Pierce: “Raise your kebabs!”

Chloe: “Thank you, thank you, I would like to thank my parents, for teaching me never to give up.”

Pierce: “I’m sure they’ll be proud of this application of their teachings.”

Chloe: “This is without a doubt my greatest accomplishment.”

THE NEXT DAY

*snoooore*

Pierce: “Ahh!”

Pierce: “Tiffanor? What the hell is…”

THE DAY AFTER THAT

Vivien: “Is that a note? Dirk Dreamer took me to Sulani for a vacation on the beach :) toodles cuties!

Vivien: “Bye Pierce, I’m going to my first day of my new job!”

Pierce: “Get some medicine at the store on your way back I feel awful.”

Walter: “Hey Vivien, good morning.”

Vivien: “Morning Walter.”

Director: “Vivien! You’re here, this is so exciting, I’d like to introduce you to your stunt double.”

Vivien: “I have a stunt double?! This is amazing!”

Director: “I’d like you to meet Veronica!”

Vivien: “Well sh-”

------

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neopuff · 7 years

Text

riverdale ep 1-3

these twins always make me >___>

oh yeah i knew jason was gonna die

this is very artsy

i thought he was murdered

tragedy

oh......a mom for veronica

what is a...chocolate shoppe? and why? does it sell? burgers?

is veronica the new kid

OH KEVIN

the gay kid gweiopubgoewgnew

the acting in this is terrible

the archie actor is clearly not a real ginger so i approve of this casting lmao

“to pass time i started composing poems in my head” shut up archie

archie: says anything betty: amazing!

lmao

betty: ive been thinking about us- archie: is that a hot bitch i see

“we do, both of us, together”

omg

GNOIWPEGWE BETTY’S FACE IS KILLING ME

awkward

oh....archies dad

thats not archies dad

archies dad got that fat gut

“im a sophomore’ BITCH NO UR NOT

SHES GOTTA BE LIKE 25 LMAAAOO whaaatt

im still dying theyre supposed to be 15 gwenpiubgewo;gwe

“gay, thank god, lets be best friends” im gonna piss and die

wow

love these pussycats

“ive had every flavor of boy except orange” its better that

waywiongubwepogn;wegew

ARCHIE AND GRUNDY IM DYING!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKINGGG DIIEEEE

GRUNDYINOGEW;EWL

im pissing im

DYING

shes the music teacher

why wouldnt they just make up a new teacherniogwepng;ew WHY IS SHE MS GRUNDY!!!

archies dad/veronicas mom have a....history

“chose the rich kid”

wow

so many divorced parents

outdoor cafeteria

when will i see a high school that has one of these forreal

i assume its a west coast or south us thing

kevin: refers to cheryl as a widow me: i called the JOKES

“is cheerleading still a thing?” “is being the gay best friend still a thing”

the dialogue in this show is terrible its so funny

im glad betty/ronnie is a good ship

grundy is all turned on by archies music

this is so gross and im DYING

“i dont think thats a good idea” cuz u fucked a 15 year old bitch

theyre not talking about the fucking

did cheryl murder her brother

why doesnt just one of them say it and not mention the other

bitch ur the only one who’d get in trouble ur an ADULT

that was so lackluster

wow

GNIWEUPGEW;OGWE

CHERYL’S FACEGNIEW;GEW

like yeah....not the kind of heat i meant :\

im glad cheryls the villain i always hated her

wow

veronica: i know who u are [has known her for 2 minutes]

this dialogue is so unnatural and bad its cracking me tf up

get WRECKED cheryl

veronica: betty and i come as a matching set

i bet u do

time for football

“what you got something better to do” dont be rude

awww

“why did you defend me” just accept the kindness u fool

man

i like mr lodge

this is very awkward

was polly a character in the comics i dont remember her

WOW

“both of us” gewinouogbewgew

im DYING

in the headspace

“archiekins” gweinouobgweo;ngew

wow

“cheryl blossoms cheerleading squad.......”

bettys mom is so annoying

she sounds familiar

mr lodge just sent a lotta money their way

why did the coach call his dad

he said hed give him a day

impatient ass

archies dad is just like :\

these actors dont look related at all

which is funny to me

oh good its the pill in ibiza song

omg

i love that veronica is the speech giver in this show

moose/kevin gwiuebogiwgew

where is REGGIE

my SON

wow

openly talking about the illegal secrets at a big party

i just realized reggie is the asian guy

i didnt hear his name and couldnt figure out who tf that was gweopiubgwe;ngwe

im a fool

whered ronnie go

dancing with the gay guy, god

“i have this fantasy of us as a power couple” who asks someone out like that

STOP STARING AT GRUNDY

this is super awkward

cheryl is gonna murder...everyone

they could just

chill

“cheryl blossom truly is...the antichrist” just all her a bitch like a normal person

“we’re not just friends we’re best friends” shut up archie

wOW

hes NEVER FELT for betty

if these two make out i s2g

once they kiss cheryls gonna open the door

foolish children

ronnie dont DO IT

foolish

sighs

boring

what how tf would she know they made out

did they not come out at exactly 7 minutes

ok but wheres betty

oh hey jughead

i like jugheads not-crown

now shes goin straight for love

“of course i love you” hes being so...obtuse

annoying

ok now its about not being good enough

sure

did they find jayjay

and look at that

he got shot in the head

probably by his sister

its obvious cheryl did it

im sure theyll switch it up like somehow it was secretly jughead

but it was cheryl

ok ep 2

fgewgw

why were they even fuckin at 6 am

cant believe they made moose gay

i forgot his gf’s name in the comicsniguwebgew

god

the actor that played jason was so uggo

GEWNIOG;EW SHARING A SHAKE WITH HIS TWIN SISTER!!!

maybe someone shot him for being so openly incestuous with his creepy sister

i know its like plagueing archie now but i feel like this should help him

“are you up?” “no” “youre killing your mother”

he went to grundys house

weird

and hes shirtless

“you could be expelled” “we could go to jail” NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM!!!

pedophilia is not a two way street

bettys mom is...the worst

betty plz dont talk to your bitch mother about your life

i love archies eyebrows

i hope this is the end of archie/betty forever

wow

“sardonic humor”

bye jughead

is kevin not out to his dad

“the yellows for friendship” sure

veronica is so aggressively into this friendship

YAYYY

the otp stays together

wow

betty u are a fool

that is your future WIFE

hi mr weatherbee

cheryl is wearing a spider pin gewoinubgewlngkew

CHERYL

archie and mr weatherbee just gonna

make eyes

jughead: archie you KILLED him

fewijohuog

HE THINKS ARCHIE DID IT

no jughead i was just fucking the hot prof

jughead: ew

fewiougobewgno;ewlgew

kevin moose is your new bf

“fate throws us together” ok

wow

why is he rejecting moose

because hes in the closet???

hes clearly trying to come out cmon

everyones terrified of cheryl now so thats good

bettys mom

“i ship it” why

“moose has an official girlfriend...mitch” i feel like i heard this line wrong

oh, betty

dont cry sweetums

“im supposed to say yes” THE DIALOGUE

ronnie is trying so hard with these dramatic white ppl

really

they couldnt even keep weatherbee fat

is this channel afraid of fat ppl

wow

does this bitch just sit in her empty ass music room all day

is she not really even a teacher

DONT TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

YALL ARE GROSS!!!!

disgusting

bitch get a dog and leave teenagers alone

WOW

WOW LMAAAAOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAA

JUGHEAD: WHAT!! GROSS!!! WTF!!!

this is not high school cheerleading

one of the girls here actually looks like a high schooler

cheryl just called herself exoticgewiongewiogew; CUZ YOURE A GINGER? BITCH

i die

betty why

wOW

betty dont do this

cheryls a crazy ho

i know theyll make up by the end of the ep but still

“like we were meant to be best friends” gweniguebwg

2nd grade tutor

gewinogubwegw

“oh, little archie-” little archiewgn;klew I DIE

references are what i live for

i cant believe betty let cheryl into her house

wheres her mom to scream and chase her out

welp

there goes that

betty dont let her into ur HOME

whats betty doing

“BEFORE I KILL YOU” BETTY

terrible thing to say

are they not friends because archie stood him up

cougarngiewgew

SHES A PEDOPHILE

awkward

i guess bettys mom coulda killed jason

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend” actually, always, not sometimes

oh reggies finally doin something

gonna keep up the reggie/jughead rivalry

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

“you wanna d the right thing” the way archie said that made it sound like he wants to fuck her and she doesnt want to

but whatever

so does jughead and bettys friendship not exist in this universe

nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions

wow

this dialogue is still awful its so funny

i hope it never improves purely for my amusement

out door pep rally...

[dances]

fewiulgbew

AHH HONEY HONEY

YOU ARE MY

CAAAANDY GIIIIIIRL

good shit

cheryls having a Time

god the kid that plays jason is so uggo

bye cheryl

finally getting a genuine emotional response from her

were they gonna fake his death for attention but then he was actually dead

yayyy

make up

veronica is over here like “betty and i were destined to be friends” and betty is like “im sure we wont know each other in a week”

aww archie and jughead back 2gedda

does jughead know betty or not

wheres the jughead/betty brotp of my past

veronica and jughead: interact me: yes...

im glad that, unlike in the comics, archie is not dating both girls at once and then also every other girl he meets

where ya goin weatherbee

wha

A CHALKBOARD LOL

i doubt a school like this would have a chalkboard instead of a smartboard

did she do it

gasp

im sticking with my fake death for the attention theory

OK LAST EP

im enjoying this show

but i dont think i could take multiple Dramatic Teen Shows

how could cheryl be wearing that skirt in public school

“the plan was bananas”

jason just wanted.....to leave

thats fine

who got shot

gwneio;glkwe

in my neighborhood it wouldve just been the hunters

is archie gonna have a shiner for the rest of the show

is betty not poor as shit in this universe?

i shouldve guessed from her moms outfits

“a lois lane type like you” nice and ronnie can be clark kent

omg leave grundy alone so she can die in hell

wha

why didnt you just say that you were alone

dog

a date....

hes hot

good call, ronnie

CHUCK CLAYTON

“hes kind of a player” dont be racist, betty

he is hot as hell tho

awww “juggie”

finally jughead and betty are 2gedda

jughead you need shit for your college applications

oh right, dilton

what

“im not ten years old” but you are 15 which is not very different

so if chuck is in the show is nancy gonna be around too

ronnie/chuck is a good ship

“to OUR relationship” shut the fuck you youre a pedophile

wow

the sticky maple....

wow

chuck was cute

ronnie is gonna tear him apart

man

why does chuck have to be a dick!!! chuck was always a nice guy

fewionpgnew

betty: [COVERS FACE]

destroy him

PUNCH HIM

why is chuck a villain im bothered but also hes the worst destroy him

this terrible au version of chuck is terrible

“nothing is off the table...except for my body” weiugblewnkg

i love the pussycats

is this every other girl chuck did this to

its ethel

hi cheryl

go away

lmao

whose this kid

wow

ok jughead

dont steal his ice cream

dilton shot a gun gwoinegbpweo;nglwe

survivalist?!?! DILTON

IM DYING

HES A TECHNOLOGY OBSESSED NERD

why do the pussycats roll their eyes at josie

“a bnd with b&v”

did they find...ze book

so the football players dont even fuck the girls its just about getting a date and a selfie???

cheryl, doubting her brother

what

just take the book

why not...just take the book

powerful

bettys rly lucky her mom isnt violent

(for now)

she looks super awkward in that

omg

the sound of bettys lil demons in her head

“and a hot tub....”

this is such an awkward conversation

just imagining this with real 15 year olds is ridiculous

oh hey ronnie

chuck youre so fucking stupid

shes wearing a swimsuit and heels this is CLEARLY A TRAP

GWENOIGO;NEW

BETTY

black is not a good hair color

ronnie: im so turned on

GEWNIOG;EWG

SLAP!!!!

i just realized why archies dad is so familiar

he was on generator rex AND clone high

love it

part of me always liked archie/josie

15 is not late wtf

“slut shaming...its what they call it when sluts get shamed” wow

when does bettys mom get murdered

are they gonna burn him

betty

LMAO

shes fine shes just pissed

awww

dads gonna support u now

must be NICE

gweoniugbweo;gew bettys face when ronnie said she called chuck “jason” was so funny

are they gonna do some she went off her meDS OO---OOOHHHA AAAHHH TERRIBLE BEAST

#burn it

cheryl tryin to make up for ze past

i still hate her idc

omg when does grundy get murdered too im done with this pedophilia subplot

STAY AWAY

FROM THE CHILD!!!

-___-

dilton you fool

im happy juggie and betty are hanging out

dont mention ms grundys car

YOU

FOOL!!!!

im tired of this pedophile plz shoot her next

ok im all caught up

whens the next episode

#riverdale #carro watches riverdale

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 6 years

Text

Riverdale Imagine: Who Dunnit?

“Hey Y/n. Are you coming to the Halloween themed dance tonight?” Archie asked, as he caught up to me, walking into school. The air was colder and everything seemed eery today, something seemed off. I didn't know if it was because of the recent events but I knew something was wrong. I could see my breath as I breathed and rubbed my hands together to keep them warm.

“Hmm. I don’t know. With everything that has happened with Jason, I don’t really feel like going.” I replied hesitantly.

“Oh come on Y/n. You know you want to. And everyone has decided that they are going. Even Cheryl is. After watching that video we decided that we shouldn't let Jason’s death affect us. We should be celebrating because he can’t. Pleaseeee.” He argued. I thought about it for a minute before reluctantly agreeing and going to my class, saying goodbye to Archie and hello to Betty and Jughead who I saw on the way.

I arrived at home, threw my bag on the floor and went up to my room. I had just lay down to have a nap when I heard someone at the door. I slowly slumped down the stairs to see an envelope on the floor. I picked it up and opened it.

‘You're next’ It read. It looked like it was written in blood. I dropped it and stepped back from the door. I heard a noise from outside and saw shadows of people looming. They looked like they had weapons, and were trying to get into the house. Why did my parents have to work late tonight. I backed away from the door, towards the stairs, when I saw the door handle turn slowly. ‘Please tell me I locked it’ I prayed silently.

“Y/nnn, Open the door.” A high pitched voice called from outside. ‘Holy crap, I’m going to die.’ The door handle clicked and the door swung open. Hooded figures stood outside, with knives and guns and other weapons. We stood in silence and then...

“BOO.” A girl shouted making me scream. “Woah, Y/n, calm down its just me. Veronica see.” She took the hood down to show me her face as I leant on the stairs hyperventilating. “Whats wrong Y/n?” She asked me and looked at the rest of the guys, who had all taken their hoods down to show a concerned look etched upon their face. “Just breathe.” She said, trying to calm me down.” Everybody else walked into the house and closed the door. Cheryl went into the kitchen an came back with some water, whilst the rest of them took me into the living room. After catching my breath I was calm enough to talk to them.

“I’m fine. I was just left a note and then you guys scared me half to death.” I explained.

“What note?” Jughead asked.

“It’s not important. Its stupid.”

“Well, it is clearly important if it made you this scared.” Kevin argued.

“Its on the floor next to the door.” I told them.

Archie stood up to go find it. She came back looking confused. “There is nothing there. No note, nothing.”

“What. Really?” I asked, shocked and he nodded. I tried looking for it but couldn’t find it so I gave up and went back into the living room. Maybe when I dropped it, it slid under a table or cabinet or even the rug. I will look for it later.

“Right. Lets get you ready and start drinking because I brought beer and wine.” Cheryl smiled. “Lets drink our problems away and the go party.” She cheered.

“YAYYY.” We all cheered and passed a bottle of very old looking wine around. Cheryl got up to go put some music on and Betty leaned over to me and whispered “Must of stole if from her mother.” She laughed. “Yeah or her grandmother.” I replied. Cheryl came back and grabbed my hand pulling me up and nearly spilling the wine on the floor. “Come on. You need to put your costume on and I need to do your makeup and then mine.” She pulled me up the stairs while the rest of them drank downstairs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“HURRY UP. YOU HAVE BEEN UP THERE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF AND WE NEED TO GO.” Jughead shouted from the bottom of the stairs where they were all stood waiting.

“HOLD ON. NEARLY FINISHED... OKAY DONE.” Cheryl shouted back as she added the last touch of makeup to my face.

“Come on then.” I got off my bed and walked towards the door.

“I will catch up with you. I just need to re-curl my hair. Can I do it here and then I will see you all at school.” She smiled.

“Sure. See you later.” I replied and hurried down the stairs.

“Where’s Cheryl.” Archie asked.

“She’s going to catch up with us. She needs to re-curl her hair.” I explained.

“BYEEE.” We shouted up the stairs and then left. We walked to school and the bad feeling I had, had all day got stronger, however now it felt like somebody was following us.

We arrived in the hall of the school and everybody went their seperate ways to talk to some other school friends. I walked to the corner of the room and stayed there, the feeling was still there and being here just made it worse, has anybody else had a note, and when the fuck was I going to be ‘next.’ Also he is this idiot, everybody knows what has happened in this town, why would you do this, how sick would you have to be.

“Hey Y/n are you okay. You look pale.” Veronica asked, walking towards me with two drinks in her hand. She handed me the drink and stood next to me observing the dance.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t feel very well.” I replied, taking a sip of my drink. “Have you put alcohol in this?” I asked, spitting it out in shock.

“Yeah. Well Archie brought it but I put it in there. Do you want to go outside?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

We walked through the dark, empty corridors of school and outside, the air was cold and there was a slight breeze which made everything else seem creepier. We stood in silence until Veronica jumped back slightly.

“What, whats wrong?” I asked, now suddenly on edge.

“Can you see that.” She said pointing in the distance.

“See what?” I asked, frantically searching for what was distressing her so much.

“There right there. There is someone walking towards us. I can’t see there face. They look they are staggering.”

“Oh. Do you think they are okay?”

“Probably not if they are staggering. We should go inside. Get help, and run away from the scary, staggering person.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I agreed. We turned around and started to walk up the steps.

“WAIT! PLEASE HELP ME.” The voice shouted and reached out to us, getting closer. Now at the bottom of the stairs the mysterious figure staggered up the stairs and towards us. Me and Veronica looked concerned and terrified at each other, and walked more quickly towards the entrance.

“Please.” The voice said more weakly, falling to the floor, making their hood fall from them.

“CHERYL.” We both shouted and ran towards her, she was covered in blood, several cuts covered her body, making her red dress, a more crimson colour.

“What happened?” I asked, trying to figure out who would do this.

“I- I had, err, I had, j-u-st fin-ished my err hair, whe-n I he-a-rd som-on-e downstairs. I-I we-nt to see who, i-t w-as, and th-e-y at-tack-ed me. Sa-y-ing, that- I err de-serv-ed it. Th-ey say-ing I was you, the-y the-n re-alised I - wasn’t an-d ran off.” She cried.

“Did you see who it was.” Veronica asked.

“No.” She cried even harder.

“Okay, that okay. We will find everybody else and then we can go to the emergency room to get you checked over and then we will all go back to mine for the night. Yeah.” Veronica suggested and we both nodded. I hugged Cheryl and Veronica tried to ring Betty.

“No answer. I will try in a few minutes.” We all sat on the step and tried to comfort Cheryl, however we were interrupted when everyone ran out looking panicked.

“There you all are I have been trying to ring you. Cheryl has been attacked. Why haven’t you answered.”

“We have been looking for Jughead.”

“What?”

“We were talking and he went to the toilet, and when he left a stranger with a mask over there face handed me a note and then left and I haven’t seen him since.” Betty said hysterically.

“Well what did the note say?” I asked standing up and walking towards her to comfort her. She handed me the note, the same type I had posted through my letterbox and written in the same style was

‘JugDEAD’

“Well shit.” I stated, staring at the note.

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale tv series #cheryl blossom #betty cooper #veronica lodge #jughead jones #archie andrews #kevin keller #cheryl blossom imagine #betty cooper imagine #veronica lodge imagine #jughead jones imagine #archie andrews imagine

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