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13thdoodle · 7 months

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bunch of Phantasy AU doodles n wip from earlier this year

Basically I just found out this year that ball-jointed dolls actually have strings in them and not just... magically attached by the ball joints themselves? And 31 in this AU is a ball jointed doll that were made out of Danny's energy so here we are :3c

I've been watching a lot of doll customization since earlier this year and found out from dollightful's video that no they are all connected by elastic strings inside so that's where the idea came from

...i was looking on google to find a good example to put here and clearly I'm not exactly paying attention to how the main body strings are actually.. pinned to?

the video I've been watching the most is dollightful n moonlight jewel and they have their bjd usually only to the bottom of the doll head instead of all the way to the top on the skull pin like the diagram above

Which is why 31 has his strings all connected to the 'heart' in the middle instead of the head kasjdnkasjnd

But yeah uhhh specifics aside...

----

Those ball jointed dolls made me think of 31, and then thinking about the clones in Phantasy AU and like.. the logistic of it

for 31, the idea is that during the circus gothica arc for this AU, Danny actually got kidnapped all the whole way into another universe/plane in which he met Valeska (Enn's oc) who unalive what his face the circus leader n break Danny's hypnosis

and now that Danny is essentially stuck in a whole other plane/realm/or sth he just following Valeska hoping she'll help him find his way back.

In one such trip, Danny got kidnapped (again) by another group/cult who wanted to use his power/energy as a gate keeper to the ghost zone to make their own gate keeper so they can open portals to ghost zones and maybe other realms too

31 is part of the experiments. He's a doll made with part of Danny's energy as his core.

And then it's.. uhh.. sth sth Valeska finally found out where they kept Danny and devour everyone there safe from Danny n 31 who helped him escape so now the three of them travel together~

The last pict is me thinking about clones and kingdom hearts :tm: so dramatic about Danny being the soul separated from the main body and 31 a clone made from part of the soul too and all that Not sure where I'm going with that but it do sound cool

And there's also Danielle but I'm not exactly sure.. how she would fit in? but it would be interesting if she was made from Danny's body somehow

so 31 made from part of teh soul and Dani from part of the body sounds poetic somehow

#13thdoodle #dp phantasy au #dp fantasy au #dp 31 #if u noticed that I've been putting some read more lately #it's bc one of the school project is to document all your progresses in a doc including all ur research and fails and what not #and basically i'm trying to make it into a habit by doing it here too #like.. no harm done i think in putting up what inspired me and where ideas came from #n what rambling about things #yall follow me here so i assume ur interested a lil bit about me rambling my ideas n such #i put them under readmore specifically bc I know how long I can go on #and like the main thing about documentation is to be transparent about it #u learn from ur failures n ur successes n this is one way to track them #if u fcked up figure out where how and why and what u can learn from it n then improve from said fail so yea anyway #but yea i been trying to keep things short n clean so it look nice before #but i got a p good grade for documenting everything last tri so now I'm well actually I DO have a lot to say about things #so heree i am #am i gonna be more active tho that would be a whole different topic all together bc ha ha capstone qwq

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jewishcissiekj · 3 months

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Ok so these aren't recommendations or proper reading orders but just for anyone looking to read/watch/listen to everything Asajj, I wanted to post my checklist for both Legends and Canon Asajj and tag them properly for convenience

Canon Asajj checklist -Dooku: Jedi Lost (Audio Drama) -Jedi of the Republic – Mace Windu #5 (Comic) -Brotherhood (Novel) -Hyperspace Stories #5 -Star Wars Adventures: The Clone Wars – Battle Tales #2 (Comic) -The Clone Wars S1 E16 (TV) -The Clone Wars (Movie, Novel) -The Clone Wars S1 E1 (TV) -Sharing the Same Face (short story, The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark) -The Clone Wars S1 E5 (TV) -The Clone Wars S1 E9 (TV) -Worthless (short story, Stories of Jedi and Sith) -The Clone Wars S3 E2 (TV) -Tales of Villainy: Give & Take (short comic story, Star Wars Adventures (2020) #12) -The Clone Wars S3 E12-14 (TV) -The Clone Wars S4 E19-20 (TV) -The Lost Nightsister (short story, The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark) -The Clone Wars S4 E21-22 (TV) -Dark Vengeance: The True Story of Darth Maul and His Revenge Against the Jedi Known as Obi-Wan Kenobi (short story, The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark) -Sisters (short comic story, Age of Republic Special #1) -The Clone Wars S5 E19-20 (TV) -Kindred Spirits (short story, Star Wars Insider #159) -Dark Disciple (Novel) -The Bad Batch S3 E 9 -Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader's Castle #1 (Comic) -Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader's Castle #3 (Comic) -Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader's Castle #5 (Comic) -Obi-Wan #4 (Comic) -Star Wars (2015) #47 (Comic, only depicted on playing card) -Star Wars Adventures Ashcan (Comic) -Halcyon Legacy #1 (Comic) -Halcyon Legacy #3 (Comic)

Legends Asajj Checklist -Restraint (short story) -Star Wars: Clone Wars chapters 6-7 (TV) -Star Wars: Republic #51-52 (Comic) -Jedi: Mace Windu #1 (Comic) -Star Wars: Republic #53 (Comic) -Rogue's Gallery (short comic story, Star Wars: Clone Wars Adventures Volume 3) -Dark Heart (short story) -Star Wars: Clone Wars chapters 11-19 (TV) -The Cestus Deception (Novel) -Star Wars: Republic #58-60 (Comic) -Star Wars: Republic #64 (Comic) -Jedi Trial (Novel) -Yoda: Dark Rendezvous (Novel) -Star Wars: Republic #69-71 (Comic) -The Clone Wars: Shadowed (Webcomic) -The Clone Wars S1 E16 (TV) -The Clone Wars (Movie, Novel) -The Clone Wars: Prelude (Webcomic) -The Clone Wars S1 E1 (TV) -The Clone Wars: Shipyards of Doom (Graphic Novel) -The Clone Wars: Secret Missions 2: Curse of the Black Hole Pirates (Junior Novel) -The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen (Webcomic) -The Clone Wars S1 E5 (TV) -The Clone Wars: Crash Course (Graphic Novel) -The Clone Wars #7-9 (Comic) -The Clone Wars S1 E9 (TV) -The Clone Wars: The Valsedian Operation (Webcomic) -The Clone Wars #11-12 (Comic) -Keep the Faith (short comic story) -In the Air (short comic story) -The Clone Wars S3 E2 (TV) -Hunted (short comic story) -Fashion (short comic story) -The Only Good Clanker (short comic story) -Under The Hammer (short comic story) -The Clone Wars S3 E12-14 (TV) -The Clone Wars #5-6 (Comic, retconned) -The Clone Wars S4 E19-22 (TV) -The Clone Wars: The Sith Hunters (Graphic Novel) -The Clone Wars S5 E19-20 (TV) -Star Wars: Obsession #1-5 (Comic)

And a guide: -In no way these are my recommendations, I actually unrecommend a certain book here, I'm still working on my recommendations post but this is just the Wookiepedia list just less confusing (I hope) -She isn't a main character in all of these. At all. And some are just cameos, I didn't get into specifics about that. -Most of the canon books & short stories can be found in e-book/digital form, or in physical copies pretty easily, just look them up. -The same thing that goes for the canon books goes for the canon comics, although most of the issues listed are a part of a series (as might be evident by their numbers). That doesn't mean you need to read the rest, because they're pretty stand-alone and usually just reference the other issues of the series/have a framing story related to that. -I'm not sure where you can find the Star Wars Insider issue or the Adventures Ashcan, sorry about that. -The Bad Batch Season 3 did not come out yet so it gets a question mark. Might try and update this after it does. -The Legends list is much more complicated than canon, since anything related to The Clone Wars series may contradict the prior Legends media. That's why I marked those in bold, as they are only officially part of that timeline, and don't make much sense with the rest of it (most of it, other than the actual episodes, were mostly de-canonized when Disney bought Star Wars with the rest of Legends). -There are ofc the original printings of those, but I also I believe most of the Legends books listed were reprinted as a part of the Legends brand, but if they weren't then idk what to tell you. -The Legends comics were also reprinted, mostly in big, pretty expensive collections. So it might be harder to buy those. I think there are digital copies of those collections, though, so you can buy them for cheaper that way. -The Clone Wars webcomics can be found here , through @clonewarsarchives (a great resource overall) -The short TCW stories (in bold under short comic story) can all be found here (once again through clone wars archives) -The Restraint short story can't be found anywhere I looked, only in the 2nd printing of Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter. One of 2 things on the Legends list I've yet to read. -The Dark Heart short story was originally published online, so it's here legally (link straight from Wookiepedia I sure hope it's legal). -I have no idea how to get to the Graphic Novels normally but I trust they're on eBay and co. -I've only talked about legal options but obviously, there's more. Act with discretion and I'm not posting links like that here. I might be able to help more through DMs but you know.

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sincerelyandyourstruly · 14 days

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#boyyuri

on xiaoven & yearning

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so as we all know, "yuri is when there’s themes and motifs and yaoi is when there’s two blokes who do fuck all. if you reblog this you love trans people." (tumblr user dyggot, 2023.); that "yaoi is about entanglement and yuri is about yearning." (tags by tumblr user thyminesquared, 2023, screenshot and archived on this post.)

as should be clear from these definitions, this essay is not going to concern itself with whether a pairing counts as "yaoi" or "yuri" on the sole basis of the genders of the characters involved. although i understand the deeply gendered connotations of both of these terms, to ME, yuri is about the distance between one’s self and others around them (maybe people, maybe dreams and ideals), and the deeply-rooted desires that grow in that gap as a result.

as a post made to tumblr, put in the xiaoven tag, everyone reading this knows the basic lore surrounding their characters and world: that venti is the anemo archon, god of wind and freedom; that xiao is the last yaksha, who wields the power of anemo in battle to protect his homeland of liyue; that Visions are considered to be representations of a person's dearest wish, crystallized into physical form. but let's run over the basics again real fast, just to keep this piece from having external dependencies to understand, yeah?

venti is a wind sprite from mondstadt who ascended to godhood at the end of a rebellion against the at-the-time god of storms keeping his people in a cage made of windstorm thousands of years ago, and he chose his ideal of freedom to honor the bard who led said rebellion and died at the end of the final battle, but whether the nameless bard even got to see the clear skies he fought so hard to live under is currently up to interpretation. either way, venti took on the nameless bard's appearance so that his nation's people would never forget the true hero who won their freedom, but because thousands of years have passed the people have kind of forgotten by now anyway, and venti probably has a lot of identity issues about it!

also he's a bard who plays music in exchange for wine because singing to pass on the memories of heroes past and then drinking to numb the grief of people's forgetting is how he Copes™.

AND ALSO he will occasionally sleep for hundreds of years at a time.

Meanwhile, xiao is an immortal/"illuminated beast" from liyue whose true form is technically that of a bird, but he goes around in the form of a hot emo boy, ostensibly because he needs hands to don his mask, hold his spear, and do his dance to conquer the remnants of evil gods, the act of which literally taints his soul with their sins— his karmic debts.

anyway he was enslaved by an evil god in his youth because said evil god (probably) knew his True Name and because we're going by fairy rules this means he was forced to commit atrocities (namely eating people's dreams) against his will until the god of contracts geo archon zhongli killed his previous master, gave him a new name, and contractually tasked him with the job of subduing the demonic remnants of other defeated gods, which he has since proceeded to unflinchingly, unwaveringly, and unquestioningly obey for the last few thousand years. however, despite his unfathomable obedience and devotion to his duty, his Vision (his life's greatest desire) is that of anemo (of freedom).

also a few hundred years ago when he was about to succumb to the weight of his karmic debts, xiao's life was saved by the sound of someone (venti) playing the flute in the marsh where he'd been working, and so now his dream, the deepest wish he holds closest to his heart, is to someday "wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers." (xiao's character card, genshin impact, 2021)

…can you guys believe that the dihua flute moment was like all we xv shippers had to hold onto for like two years?! that, and xiao's extremely yearnful voiceline abt venti that's just like, "venti? is that what he goes by these days? his tunes are… nevermind." but the point of this recap i hope has become clear by this point: that the relationship btwn xiao and venti seen through these few snippets alone is just rife with potent yuri energy.

like, to elaborate on the opening of thie essay, yuri is specifically about the uncrossable distance between two people who are already sitting right next to each other, so close that only a single thread of wind could even hope to weave its way between them— although, as evidenced by the fact that such a thread of wind could weave its way between them, they are still shy of truly touching— and the painful yearnings of being unable to close that gap… even though you both exist so close to one another, so similar in both place and time, you are the only thing stopping yourself from reaching across that seemingly infinite distance.

as a result, i think that unlike yaoi, yuri— thematically speaking— tends to have a greater mutuality to it: whereas i understand being in a yaoi to be more about acting on one's impulses towards one another and passing along cycles of power, i believe that an important aspect of being in a yuri is the constant fear and anxiety of violating an unspoken boundary because you're afraid that you aren't actually on the same page about those.

deep down inside, you know that you're not supposed to want all the things you've built for yourself in all those private daydreams and self-indulgent fantasies you've created about yourself with the other person, because you know you're not supposed to have drawn your boundaries the way you have, such that the other person would be let in on the most intimate parts of your identity (if they were willing to see all that is ugly sleeping underneath your skin.)

as mentioned in the paragraph summarizing his lore, xiao's youth was marked by the fact that his very autonomy was continuously violated in service of forcing him to violate others' boundaries, crushing their hopes and devouring their very dreams. his deep cultural ties to liyue as the land of contracts means that he carries within him a keen sense of obligation as inseverable as the need to breathe; thus, saddled with guilt and believing himself to be incapable of gentility, he has come to view himself as nothing more than a weapon for others to use.

in signing his contract with the geo archon, xiao went from a situation where his agency was continuously denied and his boundaries intimately violated to one where he relinquished his agency and had his boundaries delineated for him by his new lord.

he has no desires of his own; immortals aren't so worldly. (if that were true, he wouldn't have a Vision.) he is not an active subject in his own life; anything he does is the effect of someone else's will. (if that were true, he would have stopped protecting liyue the moment that he learned his lord abdicated his rule.) he does not let anyone near him; it is inevitable that his karmic debts will force his hand against them. (if that were true, he wouldn't have been saved by the sound of venti's flute playing nearby.)

don't you see? he places himself in a subservient role to everyone around him, rigidly obeys every ritual of propriety, because he is afraid that by asserting agency over a situation, he will end up violating other people's boundaries again. except that this time, the responsibility for doing so would fall squarely on his own shoulders.

during the main quest arc for liyue, zhongli literally fakes his own death as an archon so that he can finally retire and be free from his own contractual obligation to the nation. this gives us reason to believe that xiao's contract with the geo archon has thus been rendered void, meaning he no longer has any obligation to continue his endless suffering for the sake of liyue— yet he does so anyway.

i think a lot of fans tend to view this as xiao needlessly chaining himself down to his duty, something that's often framed in fanworks as something rather tragic in venti's eyes. however, as the god of freedom, venti feels very strongly about giving other the freedom to make their own decisions, even if he himself may disagree with them or wish they had chosen differently. others' autonomy is deeply important to venti, perhaps even so far as to call it sacred: to order anything from anyone would be a violation for the boundaries venti has set for himself as an archon.

and because we're all familiar with genshin impact lore, what i have to say next should go without saying, we are all so familiar with it: the element of a person's Vision will be directly related to the kind of ideal they strive to meet and uphold, and as such, can generally tell you a lot about a person's desires.

xiao wields an anemo Vision— the only known anemo wielder in liyue until the arrival of xianyun, presumably because that is how deeply ingrained the binding sense of obligation is in its culture— and wears it visibly on his person at all times. it would be ridiculous not to believe that venti knows, and intimately so, just how xiao desires.

and i think that a lot of fans can fail to consider the idea that to xiao, his duty of protection is a choice he made of his own volition when he was first set free, and is, in all likelihood, one he continues to make in canon. yes, this choice comes with a great many obligations restraining him in various ways— but do our choices truly mean anything if they are not bound by obligation? this is something venti would obviously understand and respect as lines drawn in the sand by xiao himself, and he would never dare even suggest they be crossed.

it's clear from the various scraps of in-game lore that xiao craves proximity to and knowledge about his savior in the marsh. yet, he refuses to go out of his way to attain these things and will even deny ownership of these desires altogether because in a sense, they are blasphemy: venti, although not his archon, is still a god.

might seeking venti out over zhongli not be considered a sign of detracting, or perhaps even failing faith in the unwavering sureity of the geo archon? or even if it turns out that's not so— who is xiao to ask anything of venti? the god of freedom must surely be a flighty little thing, following his every capricious whim. to ask him to stay would be akin to tying him down, no?

clearly, there is no need for xiao to call out for him. if venti wants to be with him, he will simply be there.

(and if he doesn't, then he won't.)

((after all, it is the duty of the servant to wait on the master's call.))

it's easy to imagine that these two immortals might end up in a sort of song and dance of propriety for a while, that at fight might be genuine, but eventually just becomes habit and custom. they both want, in some way, for xiao to lay down his duty, to be free of the strict hierarchy of master & servant or god & disciple. but for venti to say it so plainly would feel like he's trying to convert xiao to his ideals— a discomfort that would more than likely only be compounded by how seriously xiao takes the word of god(s), and how expressly venti hates being treated like anything but an equal— and so he would hesitate on his feelings; whereas for xiao to speak of his desires so plainly, it would feel like a betrayal of his duty— that which he chose to shoulder as his first act of free will.

you see it, right? the gap between these two characters, whose lives will otherwise touch and cross over and over through their long, immortal lives, and the mutual desires they can both plainly and painfully read in one another, yet never individually act upon due to their already-established senses of propriety, tradition, and boundaries?

these are the basic yuriisms of xiaoven genshinimpact.

#xiaoven #long post #only reason i put part of this post under a cut is bc it's 2111 words so in the interest of being polite i put 1356 of them under the cut #anyway happy birthday to xiao my son my melancholy yearnful boy c':#adapting this essay to the context of tumblr was more work than i anticipated #but i think it pairs nicely w/my xv moon/moon essay from a while back c:#i've actually been sitting on this one for a few months now; this entire chunk got cut from my submission to yaoizine vol 3 (yurizine)#and if you haven't had your brain chemistry altered by the yaoizines published by tshirt. what are you doing. go read them

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dupliciti · 2 months

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my thoughts on sa.mpo in keeping up with st.ar ra.il - sp.arkle

i reorganized this post to have the content discussion front loaded then have the voice acting/language VO differences talk following it up

if you don't watch the keeping up with st.ar rai.l videos, sa.mpo was supposed to be the one to help introduce for bla.ck swa.n's. sp.arkle crashed it. hence the taped name card, she tore it in the last one lmao. my additional note here is that i was robbed on commentary from sa.mpo on the "beautiful lady" smh.

sa.mpo himself says that he and sparkle aren't that close !!! in my mind he's always kept her at arm's length. willing to help her or work things out in a deal but they really aren't friends

sa.mpo apparently was knocked unconscious backstage, this is in dialogue with the real ow.lbert. so this was intended perhaps so he wouldn't pull a fast one? ow.lbert works for the IPC so i have to then assume that the IPC is aware that sa.mpo is dangerous to some degree to have to do this??? sa.mpo sending ow.lbert a scam text is so funny to me

sa.mpo wanting to move on by not bringing up the past and wanting to be a good boy to then be invited to more "good" things in the future. yeah, he definitely shrinks himself, act innocent, or tries to switch to acting good to get benefit out of it. time and time again this is proven.

fucking sa.mpo calling out ow.lbert and ow.lbert being like "DoYouWantYouAppearanceFeeOrNot" LMAO. sa.mpo then playing up spa.rkle is SO KJSDHGJKSDHG. ow.lbert like okay sa.mpo you're acting TOO MUCH asjkdgh

"what are the limits of the art of acting?" sa.mpo says that he "believes that mistress sparkle represents the limit of the art of 'acting' itself!" based on how he feels about her pursuit of elation, to me he means to say that she really is a limit. it's clear that he doesn't appreciate her viewing the galaxy as a stage or worlds as stages. thinks that this pursuit of elation itself is limiting for a person since it's just acting

when spa.rkle then replaces ow.lbert she says "i believe your acting is still confined to.." she doesn't specify here, instead goes on to say "mr. sa.mpo you have too many limitations. having limitations always kills the vibe". we know that because of how spar.kle exists, to her, sa.mpo is boring because of his self-imposed limitations

i don't dislike spa.rkle but obviously i write sa.mpo so in regards to that last bit, i think his take on elation is more focused on himself. and kinda how i said before it seems that fools have a drive to embody elation, so if he's feeling joy from what he does for himself, then that's what matters to him. in most cases that means it's related to a crime lmfao. i also have other thoughts based on like 2.0 and the sparkle trailers and information but that'll be a separate post

i watched it in english initially. okay. yeah. roger has settled into sa.mpo's voice. he's actually speaking a little higher here than in 2.0 which is… confusing. but i'm pretty sure it's all good under the hood. that's all. it's not a bad thing! in his own right it's great it's fine. english for sa.mpo is just not my preferred in the slightest asjkgh

although i've also said i don't draw my voice for him from spoken/voice acted lines, the way he speaks here outside of the context of the express, aka not pretending to be from belobog.. i think it's actually neat. and by neat i'm referring to the way he draws out some words.

okay as for the other languages. this type of content is so great for comparing and analyzing his VAs oh man. my bias lies between japanese and korean.

though i think more recently japanese has been winning out with his expression. newer lines and in this video we see sa.mpo's full range of emotions and his "acting". i think it's great and what i kinda aim for when writing him. even if i'm writing in english THE WAY in which he speaks is what i hear and where my goal lies. he's not just smarmy, he's not just overdramatic. he's capable of being all over the place when attempting to win someone over, and even when he sounds more genuine you still feel like you can't trust him

however, i have also said that the active balancer in my mind his his korean vo. also has had some rather amusing moments. now isn't the time to discuss past stuff, but for this video he also does the over the top bits when talking about acting and spa.rkle. the dramatics are still fitting! between all the vas i feel like this sa.mpo perhaps sounds the "coolest" if that makes sense. when speaking normally you can kinda hear it in this video

i do adore the chinese vo for sa.mpo. i've seen people say that he isn't as expressive, which i don't entirely agree with as a reason to judge his voice acting? this is technically the closest to source material in terms of the script right. i had said before regarding the reveal scene in 2.0 i think when it's called for then he IS more expressive, this comes through in this video. his dramatics feel purposeful and thus slightly more impactful since he's just a chill playful dude otherwise

#this got weirdly long so i put it under read more lmao #i need an analysis tag bc this isn't entirely headcanon and i've said some of this stuff before #i think i might combine the 2 tags because normally if i comment on something it's because i think it's pertinent to his characterization #idk or just have them separate but link on the pinned?#( analysis; )#( ◇ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵘᵈⁱᵉⁿᶜᵉ┊ ooc; )#( ◇ ᵖᵘʳˢᵘⁱⁿᵍ ᵉˡᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ┊ hc; )

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2xcursekissed · 4 months

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caring prompts | not accepting @cvrseduser

it takes a moment to change someone's life; that's a truth yuuta knows too well. a string of these moments had gotten yuuta to where he was today: shadowing his mentor—his savior—at the temple to free people of their stressors—cursed spirits, as geto-sama had called them.

for the first few people who had come in, yuuta attentively watched as the older curse user had kindly heard them out, noting the spirits idly hanging from the people in different places, in different ways. yuuta made a mental note that none of the people were even remotely aware of the clinging creatures. non-sorcerers only knew the pressure and the negative emotions they felt.

when a young woman walks in and states her own issues, geto-sama's welcoming hand gestures to the woman as he encourages yuuta to try it now that he's seen him exorcise a few of the small curses plaguing the lives of these harmless people. the teen is hesitant at first, never having dealt with such small targets, never having worried about another person when it comes to eliminating cursed spirits. he'd usually just fight curses under the supervision of another member of the organization and weaken the spirits enough for rika to bring back to his mentor for his consumption. it was better geto-sama stored them rather than let them roam japan unattended and risking civilian lives.

yuuta relents after his mentor reminds him of his great progress during training, his nonstop practicing, his new ability to release rika at will—his beautiful connection to his lost companion. yuuta feels silly for doubting his own abilities, sheepishly scratching his head with a smile.

"i guess you're right, " he says as he steps up to the lady, who they have learned is a freshman in university and stressed from the ongoing exams. she is also experiencing intense back pain that doctors were unable to treat or diagnose, attributing it to the nonstop studying. yuuta's eyes don't miss the serpent-like spirit wrapped around her waist, possibly flirting with the idea of crushing her entirely one day.

"rika," yuuta calls, his own curse appearing, ready to heed his orders as she always had. "let's help her out, alright?" he asks softly, nodding to the girl with a thumbs up. his smile from earlier finally reaching his eyes.

with this, rika slashes at the cursed spirit, ripping more than just the spirit from the girl. rika had stricken too strong; more than the curse is exorcised. a chunk of the young woman's midsection is gone; her body thuds as it hits the ground. however, with the threat eliminated, rika retires, leaving the scene in just a moment.

for a second, yuuta can't move. he watches as the blood begins to pool around his shoes, white sneakers sullied by red liquid. his breathing is even—silent almost—until it's not.

it dawns on him that the stains are a consequence of his own doing, another innocent life taken by him. the sight of red is his reminder of his crimes against his classmates—his reminder of rika, her lifeless body, her mangled corpse drowned in a puddle of blood. it's too much for him to bear.

silence is soon replaced with panic as his heart begins to pound against his ribcage, his eyes widening as he fixes his gaze beyond his shoes to the woman, now missing a chunk of her body. his arms raise to grip at his own hair, yanking a few strands out in his alarmed state as though bringing pain to him will pull him from some sort of dream—nightmare.

it doesn't.

oh god. this can't be happening—he'd been on such a roll with training. bringing out rika had gone so well over the past month. he'd been able to wield her without casualties among geto-sama and the other members of his organization.

geto-sama!—he'd spent much of his time trying to prove to him and the other curse users—jujutsu sorcerer, as geto called them—that he wasn't just some murderer, that he was someone whose gift would help change the world.

his eyes dart from the woman to his shoes, geto's feet visible in the corner of his eye, red soaking the fabric on his feet. his eyes briefly glance up to his mentor, before returning to the floor as guilt begins to consume him. he thinks he saw the remains of a smile on his teacher's face, but yuuta assumes it's from when he sweetly encouraged the teen to put what he'd learned in training into practice. that thought makes the 16-year-old all the more distraught. he was not making a good case for himself.

yuuta's knees hit the floor as he pushes his hands against the woman's open flesh, a futile attempt at stopping the outpour of blood from spilling any further.

"i—" yuuta begins, voice shakey, yet loud at the same time. tears begin to well in the corner of his eyes. "i didn't mean to—rika just—she missed. she didn't mean to—i didn't mean to kill her."

"i'm sorry; i'm sorry—"

his plead abruptly stops as he feels a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. he jerks up at the sudden contact, reflexively peering over his shoulder. his mentor's calm voice breaks through the turbulence.

❛ it's okay. i've got you. you're safe now. ❜

this time, yuuta doesn't hesitate to look up at geto-sama. yuuta is not exactly calm, but he does feel relief that it seems as though his mentor understands that it was a mistake and isn't mad. although he is reassured, it doesn't stop yuuta from trembling as he presses against the open wound. "it's not. i just hurt her. she's bleeding—she's gone," he explains quickly, as though geto has the solution to this situation.

yet, at the back of yuuta's mind, he knows any advice doesn't change what happened at that moment.

#cvrseduser #ic; curse user verse #cw blood #cw gore #TAGGING JUST IN CASE #hehe verse name creativity where #anyways i hope this is fine lee #you wanted cult leader geto so i took inspo from that talk we had haha #under read more bc this is long #you don't have to reply this got ridiculous i'm sorry

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ofgentleresolve · 7 months

Text

ferre's thoughts!

hi everyone! so sorry to have been absent ( or at least very sporadic ) here and across all my other blogs- i promise i never stopped thinking about my muses and all of the wonderful dynamics i have with everyone!! recently though, i guess i've been feeling a bit...meh about this blog?? so i'm just going to ramble for a hot second in these bullet points to air out my thoughts and hopefully i can get to some kind of conclusion here....feel free to throw your own opinions in here if you want to!!

this is my fault, but uh, i think i accidentally isolated myself on this blog?? like, these days most of my activity rp-related has been in discord, but i would like...to reach to ppl again if they are still interested....that being said, i know i say i love plotting with other muns, but i also know that truthfully, it takes me a while to open up and it probably doesn't help that i can take like weeks to get back to ppl ic wise....i dont want to get into the details but i'll just say that this summer was kinda...not great ( don't worry nothing bad happened, i'm just going thru a rough patch....) so that's been killing my writing mojo for a while ://

this also relates to the first point, but i realize plotting really does make a difference to me about whether or not i'm excited for a thread so i'll probably make a note about that when i rewrite & condense my rules....

ever since i moved patrick to his own blog, i've noticed that annie ( and since i gave him a connection to her ) and ga ram seem to be the most active on there...tbh there are some muses on my main muse roster that truthfully, haven't been used in months due to the lack of plots/active dynamics- i don't want to get rid of them bc nostalgia and i do intend to write them on occasion, but....if they aren't garnering as much interest then i might just have to switch around my rosters a bit....

this blog isn't nearly as much of a slice-of-life blog as it used to be....if anything, i feel like it might be better to call it a crime & slice-of-life multimuse considering that the muse who seems to come out the most often now is annie....as such i was wondering if....perhaps changing the aesthetics of this blog might help with getting into the mood for writing on here again?? if anything patrick and calum's blogs seem to embody this blog's current core themes more ^^'

this might also mean changing the username for this blog....although i will say, i am quite attached to this url as it's been my brand for YEARS... but on the other hand perhaps a url with a bit more...grit to it could help ( that and if it is change then better to accept than resist...right?? )

also saw lena on my dash ( WHICH WAS A SIGN OF A GOOD DAY FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺 ) and i lowkey?? wanna follow in their footsteps aka be more lax and free-flowing on here...so i might drop the formatting ( sans the small text ) bc that does, i will admit, take up more time to post responses than anything else :'D

okay if you read all of this, thanks for listening, i promise everything will be fine on my end <3 i really really just miss writing on here and being part of dashboard shennagans so....hope to see?? you all soon in the meanwhile, will try to get to some memes & maybe do the bingo boards for some of my muses here <3

#that would be truly wonderful ( ooc. )#it's not really negative but it's long #so that's why i put it under read more :'D #that and....ngl in the last few months i kept on seeing some...bad energy on my dashboard across all my blogs :/#no one i follow now bc thankfully they disappeared to the wind/i got so fed up i bit the bullet #but i guess in my rules i really have to make it clear that i'm slow ooc and ic #literally my partners and i can take MONTHS to get back to threads #and it's all gucci jfsldkjfl <3 #okay this time for REAL i'm heading out now #I WILL BE BACK I PROMISE :DDDD

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litres-of-cocaine · 4 hours

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okay as much as i agree that groups under the lgbtq+ umbrella are stigmatised by other people in the community please be so fr and stop calling it ‘double discrimination’ you just want to say ‘monosexual privilege’ but are aware people get kind of mad about that

#queer discourse #to clarify this isn’t about ableism racism sexism transphobia etc exhibited by people within the community #it’s more about the presentation of stigma witin the community as a disparate and equal thing to bigotry coming from outside the community #like it’s all coming from the same place guys just being wielded by other oppressed people #like lesbians do not represent a unique evil to bi women and vice versa #or trans men exhibiting transmisogny is not a result of their transmasculinity it’s white supremacy and patriarchy #it’s not a sign that these groups of people are your enemy #(disclaimer: this is completely online problem no one under the age of 14 genuinely seems to push this irl as their brains aren’t rotting)#and i’m not saying that bigotry from other queer people should be ignored bcs NO we need to be pulling each other up #but framing it as a ‘double’ discrimination instead of the same goddamn thing is just saying you’ve got it worse than everybody else #if someone attacked me for liking coffee and then a different person /also/ attacked me for liking coffee that’s not double discrimination.#that’s the same type of discrimination done by different people #we are a goddamn community force the internet leeches OUT of your brain don’t let them take you alive #it’ll suck the joy out of everything #this is largely in response to a long as text post that had some great points but this glaring welt of online behaviour in the middle of it #i’m also aware no one is going to read this i just can’t be arsed to waste any real life person’s time in discussing it #godspeed campers

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pocket-prosecutor · 2 years

Text

A weird sensation overcame Miles suddenly. He could feel his muscles tense in an almost painful manner.

Dad.

He had to go to his father. But before he could step away from the couch, he was overcome with dizziness.

The moment Gregory noticed that something was up with his son, he made his way to the living room to help him. "I'm sure it's nothing severe," he thought to himself, "kids get sick all the time after all. I'll make sure to check his temperature."

But before he could place his hand on his forehead to check for fever, Miles looked up at him with a scared look.

"Dad I- I feel really bad what's-"

Gregory kneeled over to comfort Miles, expecting to see eye to eye with him. Which...he didn't? Did he overestimate how tall his own son was?

Miles's voice broke him out of his short train of thought.

"What's happening? Dad!?"

Gregory stared dumbfounded at the sight in front of him as his own son slowly shrunk down. Miles looked up at him in in terror. Unsure what to do, Gregory picked him up whilst trying to hide his panic from Miles.

He could feel a shaking and still shrinking young Miles in his palms. Gregory started to spiral a bit in that moment. What if this never stops? What is going to happen? Is this normal? None of the books ever mentioned anything about shrinking... And what if-

Gregory was quickly pulled out his own thoughts when he saw that it stopped. They stared at each other, slowly taking in what just happened.

In Gregory's hand now sat a tiny and scared Miles Edgeworth, reduced to barely 5 inches.

Gregory asks Miles if he's badly hurt anywhere (and immediately lowers his voice when he sees and feels Miles back away at the perceived loudness of it). Miles shakes his head, unable to speak from shock. They both don't know what to do. Gregory barely dares to move his hands, but slowly, whilst warning Miles, puts him on the salon table.

He assures Miles will be alright. But in Gregory's head all sorts of thoughts start spinning around. He would definitely have to call him in sick for school tomorrow. But what then? Would his son just... be tiny forever? Could he never go back to school? What about his future? He felt his thoughts spiraling again.

Gregory takes a deep breath and gathers himself. He makes a makeshift bed for Miles for the night and he will sleep on the couch next to him.

Calming Miles down took several hours. It was painful for him to see his son so upset while he could not do a thing, not even hold him in his arms to comfort him. Besides, he could see Miles give him a scared look now and then. His own son was scared of him.

They both eventually fall asleep. Moments before the sun rises, Miles wakes up from a similar sensation over his body. The dizziness starts again and through his confused state he sees the table he slept on get bigger.

He calls out to Gregory, who wakes up upon hearing Miles's voice. The first thing he sees is his son growing back to his original height. So it wasn't a dream.

Gregory still decides to keep Miles home "sick" from school and tells Miles to spend the day with him in the office. He tries to focus on his work and his clients while keeping an eye on Miles. Everything seems to be fine now? They're both cautiously optimistic.

They eat a bit later than usual that day. Miles helps Gregory with cleaning the table after dinner. But Miles drops his plate in shock, overcome by the same sensation again. He calls out to his father, who immediately assumes the worst. He pulls Miles away from the glass shards and feels him shrink in his arms. He puts him on the dinner table to give him some high ground.

It happened after dinner again. Was it the food? No that doesn't seem right. An Allergy? But he'd never heard of people shrinking from allergens before... Gregory checked his watch. Around the same time as yesterday. Could it be..?

When he looks up at Miles he noticed that he backed further away from him. Of course he was still scared. Gregory assures that surely Miles will grow back again like last night, and that he can sleep with him again tonight to be safe. Miles nods in understanding, but doesn't come closer to Gregory. In fact, he doesn't really want to be close to him until they go to bed.

Miles wakes up at sunrise, feeling his body grow back again. Gregory calls him in sick for another few days. He's quite sure about the pattern but...he feels uneasy about sending Miles to school now.

Miles is a perceptive kid. He asks his dad if this will happen every night now, and if he will actually grow back or just suddenly be tiny forever. His father reassures him that whatever happens, he will make sure that Miles is fine and, most importantly, safe.

It becomes clear to both of them that this is likely to be a pattern. Gregory decides to test their theory the following day. He tells Miles to sit on the dinner table at a certain time, all the while Gregory checks the time on his watch. And it checks out. At around the same time, Miles starts shrinking again. He repeats this for the remainder of the week, concluding that this only happened at night. He almost called it a relief.

Gregory has to send Miles back to school again, despite both being anxious about it. While Miles is out for school, Gregory uses what free time he has to figure out how to make the house more accessible. This feels...kind of bad. Doing so would confirm that Miles's situation might be, well, permanent? Besides, it feels a bit degrading to give his son tiny materials for him to use.

Over the course of a few weeks, Gregory figures out that the times that Miles shrink are in accordance with the sunrise and sunset. Which doesn't exactly make this "condition" any more sensible. Furthermore, it takes Miles several weeks before he is finally able to be in the presence of his father for a longer amount of time. After the initial shock wears off, Miles starts wandering around the house in the evening a bit more.

Miles starts to realize the limitations of his condition. From time to time he needs to rush home after having a playdate. Or sometimes missing out on events for school.

As time passes, they both learn to adapt better. Miles gets less scared of walking around the house, and asks to be picked up to get places more often. Despite that, Miles one day admits that he is still kind of sad that he can never stay over at any of the kids' for too long, or vice versa. Gregory tells him that maybe it's time that he told one of his classmates about this, if he wanted to of course. Miles is very wary of this idea, but he thinks it over now and then. Who of his classmates was really his friend? Who wouldn't laugh at him, or pity him, or think badly of him? He didn't think he had a friend like that in class at all.

That is, until a certain class trial rolls around.

#miles is 6 here btw!#..enthusiastically peppering in the fact that Miles was really young when this first started happing lmao #but honestly this is probably less traumatic to him in the long run compared to the previous idea for this AU #in which he got the wereshifting condition due to the dl-6 trauma and it was in MvK's house #that mustve been way more stressful without proper parental support #oh...btw this got Really Fucking Long but i just. Have so much To Say abt Gregory helping Miles deal with this #and the first and second night are just the worst ones yakno #the first one because of the shock and disbelief #and the second one because they both fear that the end of this phenomenon is not in sight #oh god and seeing his own son is scared of him like i really enjoy writing a bit from Gregworth's perspective #everything under the read more is meant more as descriptive which is why there isn't dialogue #i really don't like writing dialogue mmm #it's an infodump but with a dramatic tone (hopefully)#g/t #aa g/t #aa gt #wereshifter miles au #ending this before Miles gets closer to Phoenix bc this got too long already oh wow #like i have a lot more to say but it'll drift away from the original intention of this post #which is Gregory helping Miles with the whole ordeal #not once does he think Miles is a burden. he would do anything for his son fucking sobbing #and yeah STILL havent played aai2 yet but you just KNOW i'll mentally break down when i get to his case

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raayllum · 1 year

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Obviously it doesn't make everything instantly better between them, but from Callum's POV, he's seen Rayla was (somehow) right in her paranoia about Viren and he is in fact alive (just was unable to find him). What do you think Callum might feel or think about her leaving now, or if it does change at all?

This is a tricky one I’ve been sitting on because like, there’s a few layers to this

We know from the end of TTM that Callum didn’t ever fully believe that Viren was alive. He trusted what Rayla thought / had seen, enough to commit himself to her mission wholeheartedly, and it was his idea to leave as soon as possible to set out and complete it. (Callum may have even had it in his head that he’d be the one who would have to kill Viren, if they did find him, since cold blooded murder is something Rayla has never been able to accomplish with her blades.) So his concern was less “Viren may be alive” and more “I want to keep you alive/safe” which he reflects in TTM: “Together. That’s the most important thing” (reminiscent of “Taking Zym home to Xadia, that’s the most important thing we’ll ever do”).

So I think the two biggest blows was 1) I can’t protect her and 2) She abandoned me. Number one is what is on his mind then probably for the bulk of the timeskip with the abandonment taking (somewhat) of a back seat, as while he says “This will will always be the anniversary of the day she left,” his birthday ends on a somber note of love and loss, being unsure of whether the girl he loves is even still alive.

Then, Rayla returns - unharmed, of her own accord, in S4 out of nowhere after two years. She certainly seems to be less of a wreck than he is, even when they reunite (which makes sense, as she had time to at least emotionally prepare, and he had no time at all). Cue “She abandoned me” coming to the forefront, and the anger about it being what makes Callum shut down / try to leave first in order to protect himself. It works, marginally.

Callum is also a little (rightfully in some ways) petty about it. He doesn’t think that Rayla’s come back for him, after all.

C: So why are you back? Guess you must’ve found Viren, huh? Was he dead, after all?

This is a hit in a couple of ways. First reaffirms that Callum still doesn’t think Viren was ever alive (and that Rayla had in some ways left for nothing, to kill a target that was already in the grave), that Rayla probably couldn’t kill him (implied) even if she did find him (thus returning successfully bc she didn’t need to do anything), and that Rayla had only come back because her mission was over. Again, not choosing him.

Then Rayla corrects him and admits her failure while looking at her wrist.

R: I didn’t find him.

Absolutely devastating, thank you. So Callum processes, quick as a whip, jumps over “You came back for me then” and right into “you could’ve come back at any time / wouldn’t have left at all if you had just trusted me” and oof. Leading to his “So you disappeared for two years for no reason at all?” which is both technically true and not 100% fair. Rayla left to try to get closure that Viren was dead and they (particularly Callum) were actually safe, and neither of those things were nothing to her, even if they didn’t amount to anything.

More on how Callum may feel like he failed Rayla (and how he feels like she failed him) here if you’re interested

Then they start slowly rebuilding, largely through action and re-familiarity, and Callum has basically entirely thawed by the end of 4x06 (even if again, big feelings still aren’t ready to be discussed, which is what the end of 4x09 signifies bc he’s turned a corner) and then.

Viren shows up again, with Callum looking almost scared - we know he has reservations of some kind of way about Viren (and possibly his predecessor being what led to Rayla leaving in the first place, the ghost she just couldn’t shake)

Then sadness as Callum, presumably, realizes that (as far as he knows) Rayla has been right this whole time

And Rayla says she has to go after Viren and Callum looks surprised

Because he really thought, this time, that she’d stay. This whole time, Callum has been taking her choice to leave very personally - and very understandably so! - but in this moment, this scene, he realizes it was never about him. Not really. The same way Rayla left her letter in hopes of comforting him but also first and foremost, honestly, for herself. This is a part of her she cannot cut out even now that she’s honestly and earnestly tried, even though she came back for him, and now she has to leave again.

So I don’t think Viren actually being alive recontextualizes her initial decision for him that much, but I do think it makes the fact that she comes back again in 4x09 - in the wake of 100% verified proof - all the more meaningful to him than it already was. He can’t change this part of her, he was also testing himself to see if he could let go and he can’t do that either, but he can love her and he does, and he finally lets himself admit he’s happy she’s back to her face - he finally starts to let himself say it to the person who needs to hear it the most

It’s certainly not all healed. He’s never going to like/approve of Rayla risking herself in the manner she does. Rayla still needs to learn all her lessons there (which, if she ever learns the truth about Viren’s ressurection, may help). And there’s so much left to talk about / work through - but now Callum’s willing to talk about it, and I can’t wait to see their development next season

#rayllum #tdp #leftboob #always love seeing u on my dash / in my notifs <3 #thanks for asking #arc 2 #s4 #post ttm #through the moon #requests #analysis series #analysis #4x03 #4x09 #putting under a read more bc Unsurprisingly this got a lil long

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jefferythejelly · 1 year

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wtf is going on between dream and quackity??? I looked it up but I'm seeing so many different opinions from people 😓 what's going on and will I have to pick sides? I'm just so confused by this whole thing 😭

oh anon what rock have you been living under (and can you take me there)

this got kind of long bc a lot has happened and it's been kind of slowly building up over a month, and i kind of used this as an excuse to do something i've been wanting to do and make a rough timeline of events, so hope you don't mind the incredibly long post. it has certainly been An April (/neg) around here.

march 10th- quackity announces the big project he’s been teasing, the qsmp, a minecraft server with both spanish and english creators. dream puts out a priv tweet the same day saying he’s been working on something similar to collaborate with worldwide creators and he’s mentioning it bc he doesn’t want people to be worried about copying once it’s announced (this is foreshadowing)

april 2nd- dream announces the united smp and its accompanying live translation mod with a video and a tweet. small note here that the video was originally supposed to be an april fools video at first, which is why the international creators are skinned as the different manhunt members, but was delayed by a day bc editing took longer than expected. discourse starts near immediately as drantis are quick to accuse dream of copying q's idea of a multi language server

april 3rd- quackity announces that a new live translation mod is being implemented in the qsmp. copying accusations are now coming from both sides. note that it has been 1 day since the usmp announcement, so the chance that q actually developed a mod in that time is basically zero. also note that dream said he’d been working on the usmp prior to knowledge of qsmp’s mod being public. this is confirmed by snapchats dream posted later this month of camera roll screenshots of photos of a whiteboard with brainstorming for the usmp with the date march 8th visible, which is prior to the qsmp announcement. the point i’m trying to make here is that the most likely explanation is that it's a big damn coincidence

on this day there was also a brief copypasta started by george and sapnap joking about the similarities between the two servers (the first multilingual smp with live translation). george goes live with the smp from his copypasta tweet (slutsmp) and several ccs join throughout (during the stream its implied he basically @/everyone-ed the entire dsmp discord). he makes several shady comments but at this point its unclear if hes memeing quackity, the fans making drama out of the situation, or both

kind of skipping over a few weeks here bc its a lot of the same Nothingness but basically: discourse continues to spiral, egged on by the fact that dream has continued interacting with/mentioning quackity but is met with radio silence from the other side. there are a few clarifications from dream on twitter during this period that the qsmp and usmp are separate concepts and that he does not hold any ill will towards q

april 24th- while already somewhat assumed after quackity announced the qsmp's translation mod, quackity officially announces that the qsmp will be adding worldwide creators

april 27th- dream drops this thread which i highly recommend reading for yourself bc it gives a lot of context. tldr: quackity hasn't responded to dream despite multiple attempts to reach out, from both dream and other mutual friends. dream doesn't know what's going on with him but doesn't want any more hate to build between their two fanbases. he is explaining this because he feels he should explain his motives/give context as hate has built up to the point of irl threats to himself and his family's safety. he says that he is changing the concept of usmp slightly so there is less competition between the 2 servers and reiterates that he doesn't want any hate sent to quackity and that he's proud of all he's done

radio silence from quackity for this whole day, and then:

april 28th- quackity goes live on twitch. he says nothing about it and announces the new brazilian creators for the qsmp

and that's... kind of where we're at? q has continued being active on qsmp and social media and has said nothing, mutual friends are continuing to interact with quackity, and we've kind of reached a weird stalemate.

there's also some small bits of context that are more on the fandom side of things as to why a lot of ppl aren't supporting quackity anymore, so i'll (semi-briefly) try to explain those here:

during all this a mod on the qsmp was (rightfully) called out for including a mob that portrayed incredibly racist stereotypes of indigenous people. q did eventually remove the mod after public pressure but his apology/explanation of the situation was incredibly lackluster, and he didn't address any of the server members who made racist comments about the mob or after the mod's removal. this soured a lot of people's opinion of quackity/the qsmp in general.

second thing is just general vitriol between the two fandoms. qsmp fans/quackity solos were already being nasty at the start of the month, and that only built as the month continued. i saw at least one instance of a fan supposedly being doxxed and having someone show up to their house over the drama, and heard of ppl having gore/photos of self harm sent to their dms (so y'know. classic toxic twitter fandom bullshit). i will say that the toxicity has recently somewhat risen on the dteam side of things as well, with people being a lot quicker to hate on ccs still interacting with quackity and generally being super neg abt q (tho i can't act like some of that anger isn't slightly warranted. hell, i've been super angry over this and i used to be a super big fan of quackity). a lot of people are disappointed in q's silence over this whole issue and believe that it is quackity's responsibility to at least publicly denounce the doxxing/threats being made by fans in defense of him, especially as it's something that dream has already done, both prior to this situation and during.

as far as "picking sides" goes... a lot of ppl here on dtblr have been doomposting for a while, and at this point quackity is basically in no one's good books. at the same time, most of the rational people i follow have been acknowledging the nuance of the situation, and that a lot of mutual friends may be caught in the middle right now (shit dude, you're talking to a foolish main and that dude's still on quackity's damn server). there's also the matter of dream basically asking people to stop fighting, which at this point i am very inclined to agree with due to the levels of discourse and toxicity that we've already gone through, plus i think it's a better alternative than the community self-cannibalizing any time someone mentions quackity

ultimately it's up to you to decide what you want to do with this info and how much you want to remove yourself/unstan ccs, but know you aren't alone if you're sad/disappointed about how this whole thing has panned out 🫂 it has certainly been quite the Month around here

#sorry this took so long to get to. i had class for 5 hrs and then when i got back i was tired & didnt wanna think abt discourse for a bit #i could go back and add links to tweets and such if anyone wants but i think this is mostly accurate #feel free to add on if there's anything you think i missed or could be helpful #and anon i hope ur doing well. also sorry for making u read all that <3 #asks #anon #discourse #long post #its under a readmore but still. fair warning. long post #ALSO this is all shit we already know if this starts up arguing again im gonna explode into a million pieces no one start shit #i dont think anyone will but i just get nervous whenever i discourse post bc im v nonconfrontational and dont wanna start more arguments #everyone b niceys okay....

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shoceted · 10 months

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Hello, this is like... months late but you were one of the only English KeiwaxAce writers I actually liked and seeing that you've dropped the series is devastating (but understandable, they've been ruining Keiwa since Bullfighting Game and I'm devastated, on the edge of my seat and have a lot words/feelings about it too). Could I ask what was your turning point for the series? Or, I guess, what was the straw that broke your back.

If you don't feel like it, that's fine too. Thank you for sharing your Geats fics at the start of the series.

(Anonymous cuz i'm shy af but mostly because haven't used tumblr in years how does this website even work anymore help-)

firstly, this is an incredibly kind thing to say about my writing, and i appreciate it a lot! i kind of miss being that inspired — like including the ex-aid crossover i wrote, seven things??? that's impressive, actually, go me. the first 16 episodes of geats provided a lot for me to be inspired by, i guess. (i think my heart's always going to do something when i think about the phrase "the tycoon i know", tbh.)

the last straw... well, for one thing, the lack of keiwa focus after episode 19 did bug me, because he was my favorite character and i liked seeing him. people say "oh he got focus during the first dgp" but i don't think that's really the case; i went more into this on my personal twitter account, but him being the audience surrogate for the first arc doesn't mean he's the focus of those episodes. like 1-2 are establishing ace, 3-4 are establishing neon, 5-6 are establishing buffa, and then it's only 7-8 that keiwa gets focus... and he's eliminated. at the beginning of the next dgp, he's not even a contestant, he's just a device used to show the fact that being eliminated without dying gets rid of why you wished for what you wished for. it's not until episode 12 that he's even back.

now, i thought the direction they were going with him — he still wants world peace, but in a more realistic way, wanting to bring all the dead contestants back — was really good, too. and i liked him and neon both developing into characters who could trick ace by the time episode 16 comes around! (i actually still have a kace wip that i might finish someday for the sake of finishing it that takes place between episodes 16 and 17, sorta; like, i have 5k of it written and all it needs is the smut that sure is a part of it, so i might go back to it eventually? who knows.)

and thennnnn the dezastar arc starts, as does the decline in keiwa's writing.

i don't mind characters being comic relief now and then, but having a previously-serious character relegated to just comic relief doesn't sit well with me. 19 was a great episode for keiwa, and that conversation with ace he had over dinner made me lose my shit, and i foolishly thought that maybe they'd take him seriously from there on out.

but, no, they sidelined him. for 12 weeks. waiting for my favorite character to have proper focus episode for 3 straight months really bugged me, tbh, though i didn't say anything for fear of stirring the pot. and we finally get to episode 31 and he gets kicked into a pit. this made me really upset.

the fan reaction to this also didn't do me any favors; i was pissed at buffa (the character, not the actor — i do not care about mokudai kazuto in any direction, though i was accused of hating on him, which was fun) for the whole pit-kicking thing and made this clear, which i realize in retrospect was a mistake, because all of a sudden being a fan of keiwa was not the move. (and fwiw, i don't want to hate buffa; i just get a way with characters who hurt characters i love. i'm the same way about him that i am about kylo ren and sangwoo from squid game, and i do not like this trait about myself.) it reminded me of a bunch of shitty experiences i had in a toxic fandom in 2020 and 2021 that sunk me into a deep depression that it took a long time (and the existence of kamen rider revice, which a lot of geats fans abhor and make clear that they abhor, which also didn't help) for me to get out of. that's when i stopped watching geats live, at least. (i also want to state that this had nothing to do with any ship i like, not even kace. apparently people have this idea that kace enjoyers are really angry folks and it's just like... no? this isn't a popular pairing. nobody is going to get mad at you if you don't like it.)

neon's writing during this time also made me angry; i do not like any of the sponsors at all, and neon's character development coming from a man — and a man who is a toxic fan of hers, at that — didn't sit well with me. on the topic of sponsors, jean felt like forced ace shipping bait, and i didn't like his character much, either. (which also makes me feel bad, since i know the actor's such a huge fan.) it was actually him coming back, as well as punkjack's return (by all means i should adore punkjack, because am i ever a sucker for a flop musician, but nothing about his character has ever worked for me — especially since he unnecessarily flirts with tsumuri and clearly makes her uncomfortable in a setting where she can't complain about this, which, ew), that made me drop geats entirely.

the direction the writing is going right now is also not good. the misogyny of fridging sara and damsel-ing tsumuri, the way they've completely fucked up keiwa's character, it's so frustrating — i honestly want to move zero one up on my toku list for this year so that i can see if ex-aid, which famously gave me a disease, was some kind of fluke. hell, in ex-aid, we have a character who acts illogically because of his grief, and those episodes are perfect to me. doing this with keiwa 40something episodes in doesn't hit the same.

buffa's storyline was supposed to be something similar, i know, but that never worked for me either. much like punkjack, it should have. but his non-reaction to the toru jamato's death when toru's death and his anger over it is supposed to be his entire character motivation... didn't make me feel like hiiro did. his rivalry with ace is also no kaito/kouta. it feels like geats is trying to do a lot of things that worked in gaim without understanding why those things worked in gaim. (and i do hate to be an annoying gaim stan, but... come on, geats.)

maybe i'm missing something because i'm not watching every week, or maybe i just have bad taste, but all of these things piling up makes me want to have nothing to do with geats at all anymore. i've actually considered orphaning all my geats fic in frustration, but i've decided against it because that would mean interacting with my geats fics again. it wouldn't provide catharsis. i'm just done.

so tl;dr: around the dezastar arc i became frustrated with keiwa getting sidelined, the fan reaction to episode 31 as well as its contents brought up bad memories and made me stop watching live, and the return of two characters i just don't see the appeal of made me drop the series entirely.

#asks #this ended up really long so i put it under a read more lol #writers gonna write?#anyway thank you again for complimenting my writing :') i hope i can write something you enjoy in the future!#and i'm sorry if i said anything negative about a character you like in this big ramble #i know what it's like to have unpopular favorites (kaito hiiro people don't like ikki. i love ikki.)#and reading negativity makes me upset even if it's valid criticism yknow?#but yeah tl;dr at the end bc this got long

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vilevampire · 10 months

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I'm going to fucking scream the amount of blatant misinformation on tumblr staff's recent posts is going to make me pull my hair out

#did we read THE SAME FUCKING POST?#They did not say they would remove the chronological dash. they already clarified THAT IS NOT THE CASE #they're not getting rid of reblog chains. how did you jump to that conclusion.#they already clarified that is also not the case. they're just considering putting long chains under a read more/click to see #even their @engineering post about making the dashboard open-source and FULLY CUSTOMIZABLE which is awesome #got a bunch of angry ppl telling staff they were dumb fucking idiots bc they SOMEHOW understood they were pushing more #algorithmic content on the dash #????? DID WE READ THE SAME POSTTTT????? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT #I am actively losing my mind here #lucasings

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burnedself · 4 months

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Change, and Not a Moment Too Soon.

Exhaustion clung to his bones like dust, his body threatening to topple over as he reached for the control lever. It wasn't long now, he only had to wait a few more moments, maybe he could sit down, just rest his eyes, let the darkness take him.

Rest, earned, and eternal.

But then, but then, his eyes glance over the monitor; there it is, he can feel it still, the old itch. " Oh, there it is, silly old universe. More I save it, the more it needs saving. The treadmill." Hadn't he given enough? How many lives had it been, how many years?

For how long could he keep burning the candle at both ends before burning himself out utterly?

His back finds the railing, eyes, longing for sleep, drifting from the rotor to the ceiling. He can practically feel her judgmental gaze on him. " Yes, yes I know they'll get it all wrong without me." Could he keep going? Should he? He's sure he ended up making the universe suffer just as many times he ended up saving it. Did it really need the Doctor, still? Hadn't he done enough?

Another chime from the rotor-- If she was being so outwardly chatty, it definitely was the end times. Almost like she was trying to get him to take the hint.

He lurches forward, hand pressing against the corner of the console for support, mind, filled with questions, stretching a moment into a thousand.

His hearts ache; He feels the weight of millennia upon him. Loves, found and lost; Mistakes, made and rectified. Could he go through it again? Couldn't he just stop?

But then again--

There is a nebula, at a far corner in the universe, in nascence, ready to be born. A beautiful spark, with no one to welcome it home. He could be there, right now, watch it bloom; He could go further, run across the fields of Elyisum, float on the iridescent flora with the smell of strawberries. So many wonders of the universe, how many of them had he managed to see? How many of them would he miss?

Oh, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, when will you ever learn?

Acceptance or resignation, did it matter in the end? "Well, I suppose one more lifetime wouldn't kill anyone." Eyes focus on the all too familiar yellow glow, a sad, tired, smile tugging at the corner of the mouth,

" Well, except me."

You wait a moment, Doctor, there were some ground rules to go over, the basics, lets get them right.

He leaps to his feet, the regeneration energy, slowly building, ever building, giving him his second (third?) wind as he launched into his final monologue. It was always a dodgy process, danger to lose himself ever-present, he hoped his words would steer him right, guide him to where he needed to be, to the person he would like to be.

He hoped he would remember these words.

" Laugh hard. Run fast. Be Kind." The stage was set, the players ready to assume their roles, time for him to leave the dance floor. How many more metaphors could he squeeze in before the end?

Would he continue to enjoy metaphors?

Stay on course, Doctor-That-Was.

A blink, and he is on a beach far away, feeling the sand between his toes; at the distant, the inevitable wave, moving toward him with steady persistence. " Doctor, I let you go." Awash with gold, he throws his head back, death flowing out; life, flowing in, filling the TARDIS with overbearing warmth.

And round, and round, and round we went. Next stop, everywhere.

It was a bit like getting concussed, really; If being concussed meant having your brain shaken violently like an etch-a-sketch, hoping enough of you remained in the aftermath. He could feel the changes as they came on; ends of his hair felt longer, his knees ached and buckled as they made up for the height differential, his clothes now a size too large.

Blinding of gold; warmth of life, the cold touch of death. It blinds his vision, really, and then its gone; He exhales the gasp of life, new lungs taking in air for the very first time.

To begin again, how exciting.

He stumbles forward yet again, hands, younger than earlier, reaching for the handles of the display, curious for the reflection that would face him. He was-- Oh! Cheekbones still sharp as ever, eyes blue as the open sky, and-- No Adam's apple to be found?

Oh, oh! Was he a she now?

" Oh, marvelous."

Lovely, He-- she was hoping for a change in the routine.

"And-- I'm blonde!" She throws her head back, a laugh, from deep within, gazing up at the rotor with a wide, beaming smile on her face, the first of many. " I haven't been blonde in ages!"

She launches herself off the console with a twirl, joints moving, snapping, stretching for the first time; fingers tap tap tapping along the metal surface

"Okay, love, wherever shall we go next?"

#v; once more with feeling. ( thirteen. )#v; laugh hard. run fast. be kind. ( twelve. )#listen I had the idea to rewrite the scene last night whilst battling insomnia I just had to do it #god I'm so out of it today I'm sorry have this drabble as my apology jsdjfjsdf #putting this under a read more because this got LONG #but also bc doctor hangs dong-- I'm kidding #I did not proofread this as I went along lmfao I'm hoping to fuck it makes sense

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