#ughh PUTS THIS IN MY MOUTH AND EATS IT. ur writing is amazing.

[fatuismooches]

(Extending the Dottore sugar tax)

That one fatui chef who is half-decent in confectionery (specialises in rations/large batches of easy food): Becomes the saviour of half the platoon after learning how to make Sumerian desserts

But... one day Dottore has to find out, a lucky streak never lasts with him around, and he finds out in the worst way.

It happened during a meeting with Pantalone, with him haggling the banker to just increase the damn budget, give him five percent at least— you know what?! Twenty-eight percent actually for wasting his time like this! His projects are far more important than whatever capitalist endeavour Pantalone is stirring!

Then he drops it, with Dottore huffing, barely snipping back a snide comment and instead with a haughty simper, states that he knew what Pantalone has been doing these past few months: The whole sweets debacle? Ha! He figured that it had been the Regrator from the very beginning, how dare he think of him an easy fool? And if he really wanted a new device to sell, he should have been a proper business man and went to him directly instead of playing around with childish antics like sugar bribing.

And Pantalone, for the first-time since this meeting - falters, his beguiling smile twitching down for a moment as his brows furrowed.

Three ticks from the time-piece on the table, and Dottore's grin drops. Why does the banker look so... confused?

Then Pantalone hits the final nail on the coffin with a genuine question: "I have not, Doctor... You mean to tell me that it hadn't been you purchasing those shipments of sweets?"

And there they are, two confused Harbingers sitting around a tea party spread in silence, looking at each other blankly (coincidentally, Pantalone had set it up to ease Dottore's inevitable sour mood during their deal)

Thus begins the recounting, with them trading facts and comparing the timeline. Pantalone had noticed the uptake of sweets/ingredient imports from Sumeru a while ago, and that salaries of agents (especially the new recruits on Dottore's side) spend their pay checks on those orders. How did they know that he liked those?

The investigation commences, this is simply far too bizarre for the Doctor to leave alone. Cue in the poor recruits suddenly getting a vaguely veiled interrogation. They haven't done anything wrong, so they wouldn't be hurt. Maybe.

That's where Dottore is reminded of his... fanclub. He knew that they existed, he just didn't care for them. What caught his interest however are these Fatui handbooks that were edited to have unofficial rules. A good lead.

Hilariously though, the moment he got ahold of one - he doesn't even make it onto the first page. He just sees the title: Everything we know about our Lord Harbinger Il Dottore thus far [And his lover (name)] Version 78

He just stares at it... stares at a specific name, and with a defeated sigh, it all clicks together. Of course, of course it had been YOU.

Excuse him, he has to look beyond the windows of the palace for an hour at least, to watch the snowfall of the eternal winter as he ponders on how the FUCK did he not figure that out sooner—

Does this hurt his pride as a perceptive scholar? Yes. Did he embarrass himself in front of the Regrator with a false accusation? Yes. Is he going to bite you now? Yes.

(Reader: *sensing foreboding* ... something just happened.)

AHHHHHHHH *screams* The idea of Dottore embarrassing himself right in front of Pantalone is absolutely hilarious. He thought he was being so smart too, trying to expose the banker for the little scheme he's been pulling for so long. What? Did you think he wasn't going to bring it up, that he was silently going to go along with it? Well, this is what happens when you decide to be greedy and unrelenting, in fact, this whole thing is far more embarrassing for Regrator than himself, Dottore huffs, waiting for a reaction and response from his co-worker. Because Dottore thinks he caught him.

Only to be met with nothing. The silent blank looks the two men give each other are almost comical, and when Pantalone replies with genuine confusion, Dottore can feel a little headache coming on, but he needs to know what is going on because even he is confused, and that's something that doesn't happen every day. He only grows more and more baffled but interested. Why was this information leaked in particular... by who...? He keeps this fact quite hidden from others, if they found out about this, what else do they know?

Getting questioned by Il Dottore himself is bound to shiver some boots... but to his luck, he ran into a group who was... almost excited to see him? He thinks so at least, he can differentiate shaking from nervousness and excitement. And that's when he remembers his... fan club, is what they call it. Even he thinks it's strange but whatever. However, he does find out that each of these clubs has their own handbook. In reality, Dottore has only read the general Fatui handbook once in his life, and that was when Pierro recruited him and made him read it just as a general procedure, and the Harbinger never picked it up again. But he doesn't even need to open the book (given to them by a member who was simultaneously terrified but proud to present the masterpiece to their Lord Harbinger) to check the differences due to the title.

Everything always led back to you, didn't it? You always have to cause trouble, don't you? He's exasperated. All this running around and pointing fingers when the root of the problem was snuggling up to him every day like they did nothing wrong. Dottore, for once in a long time, feels incredibly stupid. Why did it take him so long... you and your big mouth... ugh. He's going to teach you how to keep it shut now (lots of biting and kissing)

At the very least, the one thing he can respect is how the agents refused to expose you as their secret contributor, despite the clear evidence... he can respect their loyalty to you. (Maybe if he makes you tell his agents stuff instead, they'll be more efficient with it. He didn't know they liked you this much...)

(You probably sneaked that one Fatui chef some good recipes and tips, because you felt bad at all his failed attempts. They're all eternally in debt to you.)

Reader: *sneeze* i think someone is talking about me... (also instantly had a bad feeling when Dottore came to your room with that smile on his face)

#smooches talks #dottore love notes <3 #AHHHHH I LOVE THESE ASKS SM!! I LOVE THE FLUFF AND COMEDY!! #ughh PUTS THIS IN MY MOUTH AND EATS IT. ur writing is amazing. #pantalone's “capitalist endeavor” I CANT. poor dottore he just wants his experiments

[seobstarr]

HIII KEB

this is probably gonna be a long message bc i have a lot to catch up on but 😭 I ALSO CAUGHT UP ON OTC ITS SOO GOOD they need to fall in love and get married now!!!! is it bad that as soon as i saw a picture of jiung with a volleyball i thought of otc..

ALSO WE GOT PIWONS FIRST WIN!!! im so proud pf them i may or may not have cried im so so so happy for them when intak cried i broke down instantly omgggg

and one more thing but how did u actually start posting?? 😭 like i have so many ideas but my writing is dookie and im so scared to post it and idk how to do layouts nd all but UGHH IM RAMBLING

N EE WAYS i hope ur having an amazing day and stay safe and dont get sick and make sure to eat well and LOVE U ❣️❣️

-🦦

ITS BEEN SO LONG ITS LIKE IM TALKING TO UR SPIRIT LOLLL 😭

y/n and theo will BE TOGETHER SOON‼️🙌 TRUUSTTT but what’s a fanfic without a little miscommunication 🤭 i have big plans muhahaha but omg wait i think ab my fics?🤭🤭 ur making me blush helpppp

STOPPP BC WHEN THEY WON MY MOUTH WAS ON THE FLOOORRR LIKE THE GASP I LET OUT WAS INSANE!!!! I CANT BELEIVE WE GOT A FIRST WIN FOR THEM IM SO PROUDDD. For me it was when i went on twitter after and saw all of us rejoicing that i finally sobbed my eyes out😭 i was literally bawling, 4 years in the making and i’m so glad we got to give them this for all of their hard work but let’s keep winning for the other comebacks!! this is ONLLLY the beginning

TO BE HONEST WITH YOU…I WAS SO SCARED TO HIT THE POST BUTTON ON MY FIRST WRITING ON THIS APP😭 I did not have any confidence in my writing at all bc i came from wattpad (which is literally the badlands for literature💀) and if ur writing or your plot is bad then you won’t get any views like fr…

so when i published my first theo ff i literally just basically said “fuck it we ball” counted down from 3 and hit the post button with my eyes closed 😭 so safe to say that method checks out to be amazing 👍💀

FOR THE LAYOUTS THOOO i took inspiration from the other writers in my community’s and tried to replicate that! for me my long fics have a poster form (sort of like how otc has one big poster) and my shorter fics have a 3-picture style, where i put 3 pictures with the same color scheme in one row of text (kinda like how star-shaped keys have two pics that fit the aesthetic of the fic and one kyo pic that fits the color scheme of the other two pics!) from there you’d wanna put the basics which are the title, the genre, the warnings, so if ur fic has profanity or smut or anything like that and do notttt forget the description of the fic bc who would want to read a fic blindly??🤨 and any extra things you’d want to share!

for me i share a couple of songs from my playlist to help set the mood or list any songs that match the vibe of the story :P

OKAY WAIT NOW IM RAMBLING 😭 I HOPED I HELPED U OUTTT

#kebs asteroids ☄️ #keb talks! #🦦anon🦦 #p1harmony #fics #keb helps out👩‍💻 #fic help #fanfiction

[chasseuses]

reasons why I love floyd leech and why you should too

I'm a simp for the tweels- I'm so sorry my cursed account had to be my temporary simping grounds for them.

JDBKSEJKSHSJSNDKZBSKXBSKXBSKXBDKXHSJXHSJBXNSBXKSBXJDHXJDHXJDHDNKSBDKSBDNSJSJSKDJNDSKBDKD ahem

Floyd Leech, twin brother of Jade Leech and childhood friend of Azul Ashengrotto. Also a member of the Octavinelle Dorm along with the said two.

Heaven forbid me from screaming but GOD I LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH it physically hurt me at first when someone asked me to pick who I liked better between the tweel. DHDDBJDH I FIRMLY BELIEVED,,, I'D LOVE THEM EQUALLY BUT UNFORTUNATELY THAT WASN'T THE CASE.

I HALF EXPECTED HIM TO ACT LIKE JADE TOO BUT THAT WAS NOT THE CASE AT ALL ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ HE ACTS LIKE HE'S HIGH ON PASTA ALL THE TIME EXCEPT WHEN HIS MOOD SWINGS BECOME RLLY BAD ಥ‿ಥ

LIKE I MENTIONED IN MY JADE POST-- HIS MATCHING EARRING WITH JADR SJKSHRJFBDJDBSJHDJSJD I CRY EVERY FUCKING TIME I NOTICE IT OH MY GOD

PL E A S E !!! HIS BOWTIE IS UNDONE AND THE FIRST BUTTON OF HIS SHIRT IS ALSO UNDONE WHAT THE FUVK AM I SUPPOSED TO THINKKKKFJRKFBDJ BUTTON THAT UP RIGHT NOW FLOYD I AM GOING BERSERK

can I just take my time to tell u guys how much i fucking love Octavinelle's dorm uniform??? it's just ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

also-- floyd in suspenders?????? Pretty please?????? With a cherry on top?????_)$(3+_+$;_+$+_ i will cry i am on my knees

LOOK-- MANY TIMES I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HIS TONGUE AND I CAN'T JUST NOT ADD IT HERE

LOOK AT THAT SMALL RBELEPFB IM GONNA CRY PUT THAT TONGUR BACK INTO UR MOUTH FLOYD OR I WILL DO IT FOR YOU ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

✨ purple eyeliner ✨

PLEASE PLEAS EPLEADE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME BECOME THAT HAT!!!_($+$($+ AS I MENTIONED BEFORE-- THIS MF IS THE TWIN OF JADE LEECH!! THE OWNER OF THE MOST NICE HANDS IN THE WHOLE GAME (IMO) THAT MEANS THIS GUY HAS SOME NICE HANDS UNDERNEATH THOSE FUCKING GLOVES TOO

Is that why he's good at basketball??? He has nice big hands??? Perfect to hold the basketball?? i dunno.

B A SK E T BALL mm yes reading his gym uniform personal story was a fucking blast-- his fuckidnfg performance depends on his mood and that is-??$(8$+$($+$+

I'm not the biggest fan of basketball but I would love to see him play AURHRUTGURTVJRURGTURGRHRHHD

this eel is 191cm tall 😭😭😭 he can tower over me too. yes- please do i am begging you

AURGEURGRUGRURGRHRGRURGURG HE CAN FUCKING SQUEEZE ME TO DEATH ANY DAY PLEASE I'LL THANK HIM

UARGURGRURGRURGRURHIB HIS SSR PERSONAL STORY SHIT I CRYR EVRRY TIME I READ IT BEVAUSR HOW THE DUCKCKKKFN IS HE LIKE THIS GOD FORBID ME FROM LOVINH HIM SO MUCH I CANT DO THIS NO MORE

HEHEHEHEH DO U HAVE SOME TIDDY UNDERNEATH THOSE CLOTHES???? DO U??_(8$+$($!$(";$(";$(";$("!_)"!

Anyways- the main reason why I fuckdindgd d love floyd so much is because of his personality-?$$($++_

this guy can do amazing shit and immediately go "eh~~ this is boring" in a span of 10 seconds and I love him for it. I live for it ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

also the way that he wants to do their 'jobs' ,,,,,, is to just break their bones and I kinda-??? i kinda went 😳 with that,, like uh huh ok that's cool 😳 please break my bones too if you have the time 👉👈

jade corners their victim with threatening words and his beautiful smirk while floyd starts cracking his knuckles saying things like "ahhh, let's just get this over already~~" it's me. i am the victim.

STEP ON ME HOLY FUCK I CANT SAY THIS ENOUGH BUT I'D LET HIM STEP ON MY ANY FUCKING DAY AND I'D THANK HIM AND BOW DOWN LIKE HE'S A GREEK GO-

please look down on me, floyd. ♥️

His smile. his fuCKING SMILE LIGHTS UP MY WHOLE WORLD HE IS MY PRIDE AND JOY GOD I WANT TO HOLD HIM GENTLY.... PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASE I WANT TO PROTECT THAT SMILE!!!!$(($($

he is also~ "Ughh~ I’m gonna wither and die…" a fucking mood

"We're good at squeezing tightly too. Wanna try, little shrimp?" i am on my knees, go ahead.

HIS MOST DISLIKED FOOD IS SHIITAKR MUSHROOMS DESPITE JADE'S LOVE FOR THEM AND I FIND THAT HILARIOUS THINKING ABT IT

this guy- this guy can dance i guvkdicndgdndjbddjbdjxbdkcndkxnkdnxkdndkdndkdndksnxksnsksjsodnskjdksjsksks sir,,, ur hand in marriage,, hand it over.

also has sharp teeth‼️ perfect for [REDACTED] 👁️👄👁️

DJKSHEKABEKAJS TAKOYAKI.......... IS HIS FAVORITE FOOD... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST IMAGINE HIM CHASING AZUL AROUND SCREAMING "LET ME EAT YOU" BECAUSE IAM CYRUFNDHFHSBFJFBBC

he calls yuu shrimp right??? if i become a shrimp will he ever consider gobbling me up or is that already an option in his book.

AWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOW I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH I CANT EVEN DDESCIRBE IT ANYMORE THIS IS SO FUCKDING HARDDDDD

I AM JUST. I AM LOVE HIM SO MUCHDHHD

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH JADE TOO-???? I AM SO SOFT BECAUSR OF IT

the way that he imitated jade in his ceremony robe sr,,,,,,,,,,,, please sir,,,,, i am deceased.

and jade mentioned how floyd can be clingy right?? even going as far as to follow him in class although they're in different classes. i think that's pretty fucking cute

this guy can also??? cook??? haha sir 💍 i am on one knee

AURGRURGRJVRB I THINK THAT'S IT????? I'M WRITING THIS AT 2AM PLEASE I AM HAVING FLOYD BRAINROT JUST READ HIS STORIES AND LOVE HIM 💘💘💝💝💝💖💕💖💕💗💞💗💕💕💗💗💗💗💕💕💖💞💖💕💗💕💖💕💖💞💗💕💘

that is all. i hope this doesn't radiate horny energy because i sTG I HELD BACK SO FUCKING MUCH SKDJSKDJSKDNKSJDKD i hope u guys will learn to love him like how I do now~~ hehe i am but a lowly simp

#twisted wonderland #twst #floyd appreciation post #disney #twst meme #floyd leech #floyd #twst floyd #twisted wonderland floyd #simping #admin simps #octavinelle #tweel simping saga #STAN FLOYD #GRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRGRRGRGRG #now i sleep #if i wake up and i see floyd anons in my inbox i will JEBDKSHEKDNDKNDKSNDKSKLDKSLDJDLNDLDJD