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morphoportiswrites · 5 years

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Riots. - Chapter Two: Please...

Summary: After finding Bane wounded and dying in Gotham City Hall, you have to make a decision. Your friends or him?

Pairing: Bane (TDKR) x Reader

Word Count: 2022

Warnings: Lots of swearing

Author’s Note: So here it is, the second chapter! I hope it’s not too boring? I really know how to drag things on, don’t I? Hahaha! (Also tumblrs formating is pissing me off. XD) And again: English is not my first language.

(Y/NN = Your nickname) (Found the gif on giphy!)

Chapter Two: Please...

Bane's grip was awfully tight around your neck and you were a 100% sure, even in his weakened state, this man was able to break it with one simple and swift move. For a split second you thought about ways to free yourself from his hand but another thing you were pretty sure about was, that he'd catch you by your hair.

“Seriously? I'm just trying to help you, man”, your mouth complained before your brain could actually rate the words coming out of it as a teensy bit inept. Nice. Way to get yourself out of this mess. To be honest, you had never been someone to shut their pie hole when situations required it.

Bane's eyes practically shot daggers at you. Stare still. Somewhat furious... but there was something else in them. Something you couldn't quite place. Fear? Pain? Confusion?

Bane was confused. What initially had triggered his reflex to defend himself, that no one could be trusted and everyone was just out to get him... there was nothing of it in your eyes. Assessing your motives, something told him, you meant every word you said. It was odd and frankly he was surprised by himself when he felt the muscles in his arm and hand shift.

You felt his fingers loosen and were able to pull away. Not trying to panic, you breathed in and out. In and out. While rubbing your neck. You could still feel the pressure of his fingers on your skin. If there was one feeling you hated, it was that of being physically restrained or downright inferior. Honestly, you had assumed this was the last time of you being cheeky in a situation like this. He could have hurt you so easily.

Now it was your turn to look somewhat confused and you were about to speak when you heard footsteps moving quickly down the stairs in the large hallway of the entrance. One pair halted in the door frame of the room you recently occupied and you turned your head around to see who it was. “You were right, Y/NN. An absolute waste of time and energy. Maybe a couple of pieces of furniture but too big and heavy to actually keep this a short time visit”, Cable, who's given name was actually Greg, admitted.

Told you so, crossed your mind for a moment but being sassy was not the major priority right now. “Look what I found though...”, you uttered and nodded into the direction of the almost lifeless body laying in front of you. Cable not being able to see what you meant, came closer.

“Shit! Is that... Bane?”

“Yes, and-”

“Fuck!”, he crossed the rest of the room and came to a halt next to you. “Wow, someone beat him up well”, a bemused snicker escaped Cable's lips.

“I need your help.” Another confused look.

“With what?”

“We need to get him out of here”, matter of factly.

“Excuse me?!... No, this... nah”, Cable pulled a face and lifted his hands in a defensive motion.

“He needs help or he'll die, Greg!”

“Sorry doll, but this is too risky for me... getting caught with him... and to be honest... he already looks fucking dead.” In any other situation you would have not let his degrading nickname for you slip past.

“That's because he's dying, you stupid fuck!”, you felt your face getting heated.

Cable put on his helmet and shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe it's better that way”, it seemed like he thought that now was his turn to sound matter of factly, as he put on his motorcycle gloves.

There it was. Your breaking point. The anger rushing from your head through your whole body, had you up in no time, when you both heard a voice yelling his name. It sounded urgent. Maybe someone from the group had turned on police radio and they weren't far.

In just one or two seconds more, a whole lot of things happened. Inside your head at least. In milliseconds your mind raced through your memories and replayed moment after moment you had spent together with the group. Things had been nice at the beginning. Nice and simple. You all had had the same goal. Or so you had thought it seemed. Sure, none of you was a saint in all of this but was this group still what you initially had joined it for? Were you all still on the same page? Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor? The last couple of heists had ended pretty violently and you had done nothing to prevent or stop it. You were as guilty as them.

Was that still you? What had happened to the girl calling people out on their bullshit? Even physically fighting for people who needed help? Fighting school yard bullies, mobsters, men who couldn't keep their hands to themselves?

So much more rushed through your mind. Situation after situation that had you made feel more and more alienated and cut off from the others. Had you overthink and doubt everything you were doing. Into all of this you felt fury pouring in. Was that guy in front of you still that chill dude you'd hooked up with a few times? Right now he was a bit too chill for your taste. If you thought about it, you had never gotten to know any of them, really. Who was to say Greg hadn't been a complete ass before, already? But refusing to help someone who was dying? This was it.

“Piss off.”

“What?”

“You heard me right, Greg. Piss off”, you almost spit in his face. Another cold shrug of his shoulders and he was gone out the door. A couple of moments later, the sound of engines could be heard and every other second if faded away gradually.

Your eyes fell back to Bane's face. Okay... you knew where to get him, you only needed a plan to get him out of here. Preferably as fast as possible. The sirens of police cars could be heard far in the distance of the city. Turning your gaze from the man's eyes, yours scanned the room yet again. This time for something that could be of use but nothing seemed obviously helpful in your endeavours or trigger an idea.

Quickly your feet carried you out of the room, the building and to your motorcycle. Without thinking twice, your hands opened the hatch at the back of the small trailer that was connected to your bike and emptied all the stolen valuables on to the street. So, now you knew how to transport the masked man. Just not how to get him down here. His injury was probably way too severe for him to waste too much strength on carrying his own weight.

“Think, think, think!”, you said out loud and gave your forehead a few good pats. Again your feet started moving. It had always been like that since you had been a child. Either your feet knew where to lead you or walking helped you to get your brain into motion as well, ideas flooding in. This time they made you pace up and down next to your bike. And you were about to give up on their stimulating support this time and go back inside, when your feet made you trip over something and fall hands first down on the pavement. Looking back at what had caught your two fellas attention, your eyes spotted a rolled up rug. You knew you could always count on them.

This morning you had taken the rug from the house of a guy who had the walls of his home plastered with photos of himself. The only face you found was a movie poster from The Big Lebowski right above a cosy sofa with a rug in front of it that tied the room together. You had to take this thing with you just to simply fuck with this wannabe playboy. It had been more of a meta joke to take it but you never thought the sight of a rug could've made you feel inspiration, excitement and relieve. You quickly got up on your feet again.

Bane hadn't expected to see your face ever again when you had left, so he did what this cruel world had made him exceptionally good at. Surviving. He knew his chances were small, certainly non-existent, but if he'd be able to block out the pain, as his mask partly did for him and as he was trained to do in greater detail and intensity all his life, he might could get a few blocks away from here. There he would die in the darkness, hidden from the world, he was sure. Anything was better than being in the hands of the police. Getting thrown in a cage again.

As he was about to slip into some kind of trance, to disassociate himself from the pain in his body, he felt something from the outside pulling him back. A physical impulse. And a voice. Muffled. The voice started sounding clearer as he shifted his mind back to reality again, clinging to the pain to guide him back. “Bane!”, he opened his eyes to the sound of his name. And there it was again. The face of that girl.

And there he was again. You exhaled deeply with more than some relieve. The moment you had seen him with his eye lids closed, you had feared the worst. Feared? What kind of thought was that? And what was he to you anyway? A terrorist? Scratch that. Someone who was about to die infront of your eyes and you couldn't let that happen, could you? No matter who he was.

“I'm really sorry about this...”, you apologised in advance for the increase of pain he was going to feel from what you had in mind. You rolled out the rug next to him, fuzzy side down. This way it would function as a poor excuse of a stretcher you could drag across the sleek marble floor and thus be able to get someone his weight out of here. “You've got to help me a bit to get you onto this thing”, you explained. For a moment you could see the hesitation in his tense body, the suspicion in his eyes. The sirens of the police cars cut through the silence between the two of you. Definitely closer than before. You held out your hand to grab. “Please...”, a whisper. Almost pleading.

Heavy breathing grew heavier as Bane's hand grabbed yours. Luckily you weren't opposed to work heavy physically and nature had you made with a bit of counterweight anyway, so you weren't pulled down by his. Together you managed to get him on the rug, his agitated breathing was the only sign of pain you could read off of him, and you wasted no time to pull on it. It wasn't as easy as you had wished it to be, with all the rubble specking the way out. Tomorrow you'd definitely have sore muscles but that was a ridiculous price you were willing to pay to get both of you out of all of this. Alive.

The stairs were the short way but no option, so you played it safe and dragged him down the long wheelchair ramp at the outside. As soon as you reached the back of the trailer and hold out your hand another time, Bane's already held on to it. Either way he had realised how close the cops were now or... no, don't you think like that, Y/N! You scolded yourself while you helped the man who was easily a head taller than you and built like a brick wall into the vehicle. With a few quick movements you fastened the top cover to hide Bane from eventual encounters with the officials and other folk, and hopped onto your bike. A good and precise kick to the starter and you fled the scene.

______________________________________________

Taglist: @markusstraya

#bane x reader #bane tdkr #tdkr #tdkr bane #batman #fanfic #fanfiction #tom hardy x reader #the dark knigth rises

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morphoportis · 5 years

Text

Riots. - Chapter Two: Please...

Summary: After finding Bane wounded and dying in Gotham City Hall, you have to make a decision. Your friends or him?

Pairing: Bane (TDKR) x Reader

Word Count: 2022

AO3: Riots. - One / Two

tumblr: Riots. - One / Two

Warnings: Lots of swearing

(Y/NN = Your nickname) (Found the gif on giphy!)

Chapter Two: Please...

Bane's eyes practically shot daggers at you. Stare still. Somewhat furious... but there was something else in them. Something you couldn't quite place. Fear? Pain? Confusion?

“Shit! Is that... Bane?”

“Yes, and-”

“Fuck!”, he crossed the rest of the room and came to a halt next to you. “Wow, someone beat him up well”, a bemused snicker escaped Cable's lips.

“I need your help.” Another confused look.

“With what?”

“We need to get him out of here”, matter of factly.

“Excuse me?!... No, this... nah”, Cable pulled a face and lifted his hands in a defensive motion.

“He needs help or he'll die, Greg!”

“That's because he's dying, you stupid fuck!”, you felt your face getting heated.

Cable put on his helmet and shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe it's better that way”, it seemed like he thought that now was his turn to sound matter of factly, as he put on his motorcycle gloves.

“Piss off.”

“What?”

This morning you had taken the rug from the house of a guy who had the walls of his home plastered with photos of himself. The only face you found was a movie poster from The Big Lebowski right above a cosy sofa with a rug in front of it that tied the room together. You had to take this thing with you just to simply fuck with this wanna be playboy. It had been more of a meta joke to take it but you never thought the sight of a rug could've made you feel inspiration, excitement and relieve. You quickly got up on your feet again.

______________________________________________

Taglist: @markusstraya

#bane x reader #bane tdkr #tdkr bane #the dark knight rises #bane #batman #fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #tom hardy x reader

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ilongrangerfiona · 4 years

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Hi :) its been 1 week since we broke up and I still find myself so stupid to have done so much bad to you that you’ve come to this point that you hate me that much. You even said you were traumatized from what I have done to you. Its just so sad to hear those words coming from the one I love when I should have all the chances to broke up with you when I was also traumatized and couldn’t even breath and sleep when you fucked up and hit me so hard in the bones.. but I choose to be strong all over and over again. I choose to never give up because I only not love you but I also want to give you hundreds or unlimited chances to change and be the best version of yourself. Nobody is perfect even me... I know I changed you to be the man that was never you, I have given you SO FUCKING MUCH stress when you are at work, your home, with friends and family. I never gave ALL my trust in you and doubted you all the fucking time. I never made you the man you wanted to be. I never made you do the things you wanted to do. I never let you explore and be with the people you wanted to be with. And all the SADNESS, HURTFUL and UNHAPPY feelings you felt was all because of me. All because of my selfish, insecure and fucked up self. Why on earth did I ever deserve someone like you? Why on earth did you ever liked me? Why on earth God gave someone like you? These past few days I always end up crying early in the morning in our little home. I know I was in our little home but it NEVER felt like home because I know I lost “my home” and that’s YOU. I try and try to be genuinely happy but this thing keeps me thinking all over about you - of how you are feeling, of how your heart is doing and of how happy you are right now.

I just wanted to talk to you about US. I just wanted to tell you how much I miss being with you not physically but truly in your heart. I just wanted to tell you how much I regretted every single “nonsense LQs, selos, overthinking, pangluod, bullshit decisions and arguments”. I just wanted to tell you how much lessons I have realized thru this break up. I just wanted to tell you how willing I am to commit to EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANT ME TO DO for us to be together again. I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me even if we don’t see each other. I just wanted to tell you how much I am praying to God for you to forgive my old bad habits before and to give me another chance to be in your life and to make you happy again. I just wanted to tell you I’M SORRY A MILLION TIMES even if these words meant nothing to you anymore when it comes from me. I just wanted to tell you I wanted to wait for you even if it takes months, years and a decade, your Regine WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF WAITING. I just wanted to tell you I want to prove things to you, I want to prove to your father that even if I’m tired, I will never give up on his son. I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you for you have taught me A LOT in life and in love. I just wanted to tell you I’M SORRY LANGGA :’( . I’M SORRY FOR HURTING YOU MY LANGGA :’( . I know its impossible for you to forgive and be with me together again but I will never give up on you even if you have given up on me. I will prove to you that my promise will never break if it means loving you.

In this 1 week, I learned so many things.. but most especially I learned many things about LOVE. In the beginning of our relationship, I thought that if there is LOVE everything will be alright. By the time we were getting to see how toxic we were to each other, right there and then I realized that LOVE is NOT ENOUGH. Love to me right now means...

*** To be selfless - make your partner happy first before yourself, let him enjoy his life because I don’t own your life (GOD DOES) so who am I to not let you enjoy it? :”>

*** To give your full trust - we all have our own mind to better understand what is good and bad. so I must not forget to give my full trust to you because I know it is your number 1 emotional need as my partner. Its up to you if you will break it or not but I truly know that you don’t want to be sorry in the end.

*** To be willing to forgive and forget - I have learned that if I must forgive you, I must be truly willing to forget the things in the past. Because only in forgiving and forgetting we can genuinely live a happy and peaceful life.

*** To fix problems calmly and maturely - I have learned in the past that I was really a toxic gf and never ever trusted your explanations instead I doubted them. I have learned that listening to you and understanding your explanations is always the best thing I should do to make it easy for us to solve the problem.

*** To be more vocal in a respectful way - I have learned that whenever I get mad, mangluod, selos and magduda.. I always approached you in a very disrespectful manner and I know that that was really really really wroooong. Instead I should always tell you calmly what I am feeling for you to explain things to me too.

*** To have UNLIMITED patience - I have learned that I was always impatient in the past that even if you can’t call me an hour I get mad right away. Instead, I should keep myself busy and productive so that I can also improve myself even in the smallest ways I can.

*** To “ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT and POSITIVE” - I have learned that I was really insecure to everyone that you meet. To the point that I even lowered my standards and talk to them like I am not the LEGAL GIRLFRIEND. Sheeet!!! Grabi ka sheeet! Haha. Instead I should have believed in myself more, I should have believed that you loved me very much and I should have believed that they were all just nothing to you.

*** To LOVE MYSELF MORE - I have realized that I was lowering myself in the past. To the point that I was waiting for you the whole day and not even thinking if you will be back early, chasing you in your own house knowing I am not supposed to be doing those things, forcing and begging you to love me again even if you don’t want to... Imagine??? How fucked up I wasss? I was blinded and I really lost myself in loving you. Instead I should be thinking that if you really want me, then come back and freaking get me. LOOOL! XD hahahaha. Oooopss! love yourself ganiiii. Hahaha. Balakajan! :P instead I should have been doing things that would make my soul happy and improving more in my goals (which I am obviously doing since you broke up with me. HEHEHE)

*** To NEVER CONTROL YOU and LET YOU DO ANYTHING - I have learned that I was always asking for your time, attention and love in the past which I think now is super duper bwesit hahahaha. I just don’t know but right nooow??? I am really fine if you will spend time with me, go out with your friends and do the things you want on your own. I just realized if you want to be with me physically, then okaaay! I not, then still okaaay! :D I just learned that that’s how LOVE TRULY WORKS. You give me the freedom, I give you your freedom too. If one of us messed up like cheating, then... GOODBYE. That’s called SELF LOVE.

*** To MEAN EVERY WORD I SAY - I have learned that I have said IM SORRY to you a fucking million times and never changed my attitude. I was sooo toxic and even myself right now can think of it to leave myself if I was in a relationship with myself. Haha. Amaw. Instead I should have changed myself to a better me and did everything I can to prove things to you (which I am doing right now) even if its hard that you are very cold to me and awkward, I am still doing the best that I can for you to choose me again. :”>

I never regretted my decision to agree with you in this choice that we made because I believed I will also realize many things in this choice. I believed I will be better and you will be healed. I believed that we are here because we are doing this for ourselves and for the family that we will build in the very near future. I believed that we are here to make our future better together. I never regretted because if I would have never agreed, I won’t see where I was in the past and of how much I have hurt my one and only langga. I know I still can’t give anything expensive to you at the moment but I know you already know how much I can give if God will give me the desires of my heart. Right now all I can give is the writings I always carry in my heart and the love that I will never get tired of showing you. :”> In the days were I was alone and you were so cold to me, I really wanted to give up. I really do want to give up. But I always tell myself that when you love someone its when the hardest and heaviest time you shouldn’t. I also always tell myself that I deserve to be treated this way this is nothing to the pain I have caused you my langga. But don’t worry about me because I truly deeply understand the situation. That is why even if its really hard for us, for me, I am never giving up even if I have thousands of reasons to give it all up... YOU ARE MY “ONLY” WONDERFUL REASON not to. <3 (kilig sad imong dragon baaallsss ani oiii! HAHA)

Thank you my langga for the opportunity and decision you have made. You made me a better person. I know it’s just 1 week but within that time, I can’t imagine I learned and woke up from being asleep for 3 years. THANK YOU LORD! Praise the Lord for His goodness and kindness to us. I know that God is guiding us both to the path we should be. To the clearer path of our love for each other. I can proudly say to you that I am really happy without you but life is so much better if you are with me. And if we will be together again, I wanted to say this... I will be happy if you are not with me physically and still, I will be happy if you are with me physically. I also want us to enjoy ourselves company, our friends company and especially our families company. This time also, I want to give, give and give it all to you for me to payback all the pain you are feeling. I only ask for three things and I confidently know you are capable of giving these to me: 1) assurances to every people I don’t know personally, 2) honesty to every word you say to me and 3) for BOTH of us to compromise in every issues/problems we will have in the future.. :”>

I admit langga I was acting so immature in the past and I have really truly regretted ALL OF IT. I am not afraid to tell you all of these because I am also human and I am tired of telling myself that I am correct/right always and that you dont understand me and that you dont have any point when in fact, YOU WERE ALWAYS RIGHT. I just want to be true to myself, accept who I am and be a better woman for myself and for the one I love. I am only human and I also sin. But I know God is never late to make me someone I really am this time and I know I am in the right path. Thank you langga for everything that you have done and for making me the person I am today. =) you have taught me sooo much jud. Thank you Lord for the gift of you.

I am always looking forward that we will be back together my langga. I am always looking forward that your “iloveyou” today will be “iloveyouverymuch” na. Because believe me when I say... it’s still you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, to be the father of my children and to hold hands together when we grow old. I hope you still do my langga. :”>

Love always, Fiona

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ilkkijangege · 4 years

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123

Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.

I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.

Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"

Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂

Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.

Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂

20/3/2020

Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭

It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂

Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.

21/03/2020

Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.

I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!

22/03/2020

This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂

Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂

Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.

23/03

He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people

ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS

Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU

24/03

STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME

25/03

No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc

26/03

I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.

I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.

Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.

He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)

Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.

Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'

Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.

On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.

I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.

30/03

STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.

I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.

Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?

1/04/20

I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)

Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.

Ay ayoko na.

5/4/20

Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.

Urgh.

Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.

I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?

Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.

6/4/20

Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??

I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.

From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol

8/4/20

So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.

But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂

Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.

Will I be over you by then?

10/04/20

Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.

I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...

I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.

11/04/20

So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.

Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.

13/04/20

Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.

14/04/20

Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??

18/04/20

Argh why did I dream of him again?

We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.

Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.

So I just thanked him and watched him leave.

Aish why did I dream of you again???

20/4/20

Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.

Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.

Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?

Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.

23/04/20

Another day, another Chad dream.

So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.

I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.

Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.

WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.

It is honestly annoying. 😭

I just wanna move on.

27/04/20

Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.

28/04/20

Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!

Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.

Ugh I hate overthinking this!!

Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.

6/05/20

Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.

If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]

Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂

(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)

13/05/20

It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.

Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.

Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂

But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.

I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂

I need more time to heal but it will be okay!

Update 14/5:

I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.

Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!

Chad please go away from my feelings 😩

15/5

Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.

He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.

Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂

Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭

17/5/20

Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.

Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.

18/5/20

Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.

Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.

20/5/20

Another day of helping him out....

Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.

Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭

But after I helped him, this was his reply:

Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭

21/05/20

Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....

26/05/20

He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.

Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.

27/05/20

As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.

His response:

Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.

He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.

Then when I completed it, this was his reply:

Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos

BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH

5/6/20

So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.

Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).

Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂

That was it haha.

But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.

15/06/20

So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.

Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"

And that made me kilig inside. 😂

I am awesome, chos! 😂

16/06/20

Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂

Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂

Tara let's go on a date chos 😂

24/06/20

I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy

Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha

3/07/20

Yo wassup.

I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.

Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂

12/07/20

Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.

He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....

14/07/20

So today, I was overthinking again.

Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?

Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya

Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa

19/07/2020

So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.

Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.

Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.

08/08/20

Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂

He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂

Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂

Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu

16/08/20

So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)

I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.

I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.

She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.

So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.

Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.

I'll let you know if there's progress.

19/08/2020

So today, I helped him out with a case.

One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.

When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂

Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.

9/9/20

So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️

Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha

Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.

13/09/20

So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭

I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭

But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.

MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭

0 notes

kimmysfandomblog · 6 years

Note

Sondam if you like it :D And/Or Tokomaru, as you want !

Thank you so much!!! :D Sorry it took a while! I got distracted today and didn’t think I’d get any, but here you are!

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/167497972565/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-tell-you

I actually am rather fond of both ships! I sincerely hope I didn’t mess up my characterizations to much for this! It got rather long, being that I did both of them, so under the cut!

By the way, at the two anons, I’m on it! :) Be sure to check the “mehere” or “ask meme” tags!

Sondam:

Funny thing is, I ship it, but I never had to think of how they’d work exactly XD Thanks for giving me a reason to sort that out! It’s a bit shorter than the next answer only because I’m not used to thinking in the minds of SOnia or Gundam, but I hope I understood them well enough to do this!

Who said “I love you” first: I’d have to go with Sonia on this one! Gundam would have more roundabout ways of declaring his love and fondness of her, of course, and Sonia would definitely respond in similar ways, but as for who would actually say “I love you” first, it would most certainly be Sonia!!!

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background I feel like both of them would? but for Sonia, I can imagine her secretly taking a picture of him when he’s being cute or showing his softer side, like revering his Dark Devas, or feeding some of his pets! And she’d change them out every so often.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom: While I don’t see either of them doing this, at the same time I can’t help but think of Gundam writing protective spells in the mirror for Sonia!

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: I can see Gundam buying the cheesy gifts and having his Dark Devas or other pets present them to her!

Who initiated the first kiss: Gonna have to say Sonia! Gundam is still the more guarded person, so I feel he wouldn’t actually think about initiating a kiss, and Sonia is anyways the person more likely to take initiative. I can see Gundam doing things like kneeling and kissing her hand, though ^^

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: You know, I don’t know for sure if they would, but I’d say Sonia would! (If the pets don’t do so first)

Who starts tickle fights: I can’t see them doing this much, but Sonia would totally start, and the Gundam would get really into it and make it out to be a true battle XD I don’t know who’d win honestly!

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Sonia for sure! She’d be way more comfortable to ask Gundam if she can join, than for the opposite to happen hahaha.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: I’m not too sure about this one, because if it is in canon, they are both on a ship and on the run. Even if they were to be in disguise and get jobs, I can see them always bringing each other lunch, so it would never be a surprise, just something they’d do and appreciate for each other.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: While I do believe that both of them would be nervous to some degree, they get along really well and will probably hide their fears. For Sonia, she’d be used to adapting to situations and taking lead. Gundam would take it on bravely, but if Sonia were to do something cute, or compliment him, he’d surely be hiding under his scarf as usual XD

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Gundam would, but only so that he could feed his pets that like to eat bugs/spiders. Sonia would probably be more fascinated than scared by spiders and be willing to watch him feed spiders to the animals.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Gundam would get drunk first honestly (Sonia, I imagine, would have a very high alcohol tolerance). He’d probably continue to revere his Dark Lady loudly. It’s not an actual bluntly said “I Love You,” but his message is very clear.

Tokomaru:

Honestly such a cute ship! I mean, I think I understand these two better than Sondam, but I also think I may have made Toko a bit tsundere.... not my intention I swear! She just has issues with trust and affection, and I’m pretty sure she hates clichés (but honestly fantasizes those clichés happening to her, if her fantasies mean anything). I’d say that their relationship would take far more time, because though Toko does trust Komaru, and Komaru is probably the closest she has been to anyone, it wouldn’t sit well that she fell for Komaru because she’d probably never thought she would ever fall in love with a girl and commitment to someone so openly affectionate would cause her to fear that this relationship wasn’t real.

Who said “I love you” first: Has to be Komaru. Komaru is a lot more open about her feelings, so I imagine she’d be the first to admit/realize her love for Toko.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Also Komaru! But although I don’t know this for sure would happen, I’d say the picture she got was hard-earned! I imagine Toko wouldn’t like having her picture taken, least of all as a way of showing other people she’s Komaru’s girlfriend, and if Komaru had taken a picture sneakily, Toko would probably make a big deal of getting it erased. So I imagine, she’d only allow it after Komaru and her have been dating for a very long time, and under very many conditions that Komaru has to promise to keep.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: I’d say Komaru would, because Toko would probably find it a very silly practice (but that doesn’t stop her from appreciating it... more than appreciating it)

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: You know, I’m beginning to think that all of these are going to be answered “Komaru would,” lol. But yeah, Toko would consider cheesy gifts too cliché to buy for Komaru. Komaru might get a little disappointed the first few times, but Toko would take the gift anyways and treasure it (because deep inside, she’s very touched having never thought anyone would do such a thing for her). Eventually, Komaru just learns that what Toko really means is that she really like Komaru’s gifts.

Who initiated the first kiss: Komaru would, and I imagine that while at first they were both pretty stunned, Toko would comment on how horrible it was, Komaru would probably say something like “Oh, come on! It was my first one!” only for Toko to say it could have been worse... and she kind of liked it, anyways.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: I can totally imagine Komaru doing this, because knowing Toko, she’d be the last one to wake up. Komaru kissing her to annoy her awake, but also just because she wants to give her girlfriend affection. I’d imagine she’d only do this once Toko is more comfortable receiving affection, though!

Who starts tickle fights: Komaru, again! And probably just so that she can get Toko to take a bath XD

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: Komaru, but I mean isn’t this canon XD Kidding, but really, she’d not ask, and more like shove Toko in the bath with her to get her clean rather than for anything romantic.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Komaru would totally do this most of the time, especially since, as a writer, I bet Toko forgets to eat often. However, I can also imagine Toko come to see Komaru in her work (whatever that may be... like maybe during a lunch break from Komaru’s training drills as a member of Future Foundation, perhaps?) And surprise her with lunch, under the guise of coming to mock her. Really, though, she was trying to be sweet, but not cliché, and Komaru would probably understand that best!

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: Toko would, because I think she’d overthink it. A part of her wonders if Komaru is being sincere, but Komaru has never not been sincere to Toko. Another part is wondering how Komaru would look having Toko on a date, and how Komaru would be too naive to care. She’d overthink the first date to the point if anything went wrong, even something miniscule, she’d probably burst, or if everything went right, she’d probably be all giggly about it?

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Well I can’t see Toko even caring if there are spiders in the house, nor can I see Komaru having arachnophobia, so I’d say Komaru would just to keep the place clean. If Komaru dd have a fear of spiders, TOko would take it out just so that she can get Komaru to stop screaming.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Toko and Komaru probably! Depends on whose the designated driver, if ither one of them is. Toko would be funnier to watch drunkenly talking about Komaru, even embarassing things she loves about Komaru, and TOko would probably be ver embarrased taking care of a very clingy and affectionate Komaru that’s so cutely proclaiming how much she loves Toko! That’s how I see it! And if both of them are drunk, it’s going to be so sweet, but mildly disturbing to watch XD

I really hope I didn’t mess up any of these four characters too much :P These were harder to do than I thought, but I had fun! Thanks again for the ask :)

#serahne #Thanks for asking!!!#ask meme #mehere

2 notes · View notes

moonraccoon-exe · 7 years

Note

The fact that Gladio's bruised ego was bigger than his sworn job to protect Noctis bothers me. Like, what if Noctis was hurt or even killed while he was hanging out with Cor by a fucking campfire? That whole, "I gotta become stronger to proctect everybody" bullshit would've been a waste of time. You know damn well Ignis was like "WTF GLADIO!? You're really gonna abandon your post as the King's Shield just coz you got your feelings hurt? Seriously!?"

Hmm….I agree and disagree at the same time, hahaha.

The part that I agree with is that Gladio chose a very inappropiate moment to do that. The guys were headed straight across Lucis all over again (literally, from the edge of south to the edge of north in the map) to go meet with some Nifs, have one of the captains as ally, go into some ancient ruins filled of daemons and monsters and a boss. It WAS super dangerous. Yet, Gladio was like “So, gotta do some stuff. Lemme go please? c:”

It WAS a bad time to do that. I remember on my first playthrough I remembered to be expecting Gladio to come back sometimes soon before heading for Steyliff, and was I was driving closer to the swamp and after the Nifs let us through some part of the road, I was like“Wait. No. Ignis, are you seriously going to continue driving? But…Gladio hasn’t returned, I can’t have a party of three? No way, is the game seriously taking Gladio from me? In THESE moments???? When I’m in a ‘treaty’ with the Nifs and about to go in an unexplored area with a surely giant boss??? No way no way no way no way no way no way no way no wa-”

Hahaha. It was pretty paranoid, and I was somehow still hoping he’d come back midways through the ruins. I felt a bit vulnerable without Gladio.

But then I disagree for one little thing!

They literally have no time.

I can speak for Gladio if I see it well.

First of all, they don’t have time. They need to make it to Altissia as soon as possible, get to all the Astrals before the Nifs do, they need to hurry in their journey (canonically, at least, as gameplay you can do whatever the heck you want across your days XD). So among all the required things, going here and there, there was no time for Gladio to be like “Also, can we stop here for a while? I want to go do this and that.” He literally can’t stop the journey just for that. So the only option he had left was to look in the less inappropiate moment to appear to go.

So it was pretty prudent, in my opinion. Noctis was not about to face an Astral, not about to face the Nifs, there was no major event but “go look for this sort of metal (?) up in a ruins north of here”. No major event planned or expected at all. And seen as the guys would spend days on the road (we spend hours, but in their universe it takes days), it’s easy to assume Gladio found that moment to be prudent; he would not be majorly required, and maybe he hopes to not take as long and be able to return almost as soon as the guys do.

Another thing is, seen as Gladio sees this is not a major event, he trusts in Ignis and Prompto.

And in Noctis, too. Gladio’s duty is not only to protect him, it’s also to teach Noct to defend himself for moments like this, when Gladio’s not there. So Noctis has all his training and Gladio trusts in it. And even more than that, he has two other shields; maybe not as resistent and thick (metaphorically) as Gladio is, but he has two other shields. Ignis and Prompto don’t need to have the title; they wish and would protect Noctis with all that they have and even beyond death if it was needed. And Gladio knows that. And trusts in that.

He would have never left if he had not trusted Ignis and Prompto with all his heart.And he was right, wasn’t he?

Besides, I do think it was necessary that Gladio did the Gilgamesh trials. More than to recover his ego, more than to surpass fears, more than gain power or strength….

He neededed the most important thing.

Confidence.

It’s not equal to ego. His ego would be “goddamit I’m better than this, I’m the BEST and I’m gonna prove it”. Of course he probably felt like that. It’s natural in us humans to be egocentric to certain levels, so of course that Gladio, literally raised just to be the strongest shield in existance, was easily beaten by Ravus using only one arm (Ravus

But ego’s not bad. Ego is linked (but not the same as) to confidence.

Imagine if Gladio had gone the journey without beating Gilgamesh. Constantly thinking on Ravus and how Ravus is stronger than he is. And starting to overthink. Subconsciouslly or consciously, it’s going to burn not only in his ego but also in his confidence.

When things are done without confidence, the risks of failing increase to astronomical levels.

It’s like singing. The more confident you are, the greater the chances are that when you open the mouth you’ll hit the right note. It’s like dancing; the more confident you are when making your next move, the greater the chances are that you’ll nail it.And by greater I mean by a KAZILLION chances more. But so happens the other way around; do something not only not being confident, but also being doubtful, fearful on it. The greater the chances are that you will fail at striking the note or the move. And, same than above, by a KAZILLION chances more.

Even if the trials hadn’t made him physically stronger, magically more powerful, hadn’t given him a weapon or anything, they did what Gladio needed most: to boost his confidence.

A Shield cannot hesitate. He has to stand in the way of the sword and his King without a single tremble of the knees, without a single breath of doubt, without a blink. Sadly, but true, a Shield cannot NOT be confident on throwing himself to the blade.

Ravus brushed his ego, of course, but also his confidence (which, I repeat, are linked but not the same). Imagine if Gladio had gone all the journey losing bit after bit of his confidence across the days. Not only would he have turned weaker, he would also start to become an obstacle. A thing in the way. Because not only would he lose strength and would fail at slashing monsters down, he would also become dumb when it’s about protecting Noct.

And that cannot be.

I think ignis wouldn’t have let him go had he not trusted in himself and Prompto, too, and if he didn’t know that Gladio needs that confidence. Gladio doesn’t tell them where he’s going, but it’s Ignis; the guy’s trained to read into people. So while he may not know WHAT, he may suspect it has something to do about his confidence. And Ignis would know more than anyone that a Shield with no confidence is no better than a fragile glass. So he just says nothing. Lets him go, because he knows that, more than power, or strength, or weapons, Gladio needs his confidence back.

So considering that it’s not like they had TIME across the journey for Gladio to stop in any moment, and considering he was aware nothing of major importance was happening, considering his trust on Ignis and Prompto, and considering the hugely great importance of confidence in his position and role…I agree with Gladio’s decision.

Still, it made me panic and fear and feel vulnerable, but hey, we survived!

And Gladio gained confidence to be back to his usual being. And also a bit stronger. :)

Do understand him.

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thepalegoldmoon · 7 years

Text

Answers

so i was asked to answer all of these so here i gooooooo!!!!~… kms… ;u;

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

uhhhhmmm i dont really hold hands cause i over heat and the get clammy easily, so the last person i “held hands”/ linked arms with was actually at Anime Boston with this rad dude Jay, we were cosplaying Keith and Lance from Voltron. it was a good day, but we were tired as fuck.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

kinda both depends on the situation and who im around tbh

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

in general or like famous??? uhhhmmm, if we’re going in general tbh me rad ass mate Jay cause why wouldnt I be looking forward to seeing this kid??? hes literally the best thing or person to see ever, duh! and if were going famous??? uhhhmmm music wise either Panic! At The Disco, TOP, orrrrr maybe a tie between some one from the Hamilton, or Heahters musicals.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

again depends on the situation and people. over all id say yeah in some way.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

uhmmm idk because we’d both probably be shit faced and tumbling over each other screaming, incoherently and laughing our asses off. While simultaneously getting into 20 different fights over cheese, bread, and cats. Then crying about video games and anime. probably in the midst of this we’d be laughing and patting each other’s back telling each other how good of a bro the other is an how we’re gonna take over the world by the sheer brute force of dogs and cats

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

uhhhhmmm i dont really have a type but there’s a guy i like alot whos my dream guy tbh, and to me hes perfect in alot and pretty much every single way. ºuº

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

probably not but its nice to hope and dream c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

either rn my friend Casey cause shes in spain this week for vacation or my childhood bestfriend Liz cause her birthday just pasted on april 7th and i havent seen her in years.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends on who im with and what exactly kinda stuff were talking about. but im always awkard af with everything so im always uncomftorble.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

mi boi Jay!!~ we tend to get into deep conversation alot. i enjoy it alot tbh hahaha.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

(when i got to this quesion)

WE WILL BE TRASH GODS!!!~

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

UHMMM pass cause honestly the whole entirety of Heathers and Hamilton pretty much.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

OMFG HELL YEAH I DO!!!!!!!~

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah man thats always been something i believe in because i have the most terrible luck but i like to believe miracles have happened in my life.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i started the change in my social life and i got a really rad friend through the beginning phase of it!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

uhmmm ive only done pecks cause im fucking looser so that was Jay, so hell yeah i would man hahaha! (hes got a kissable face its nice alright, i swear im not this fucking awkward XD) ((and bro i know youll end up reading this. i love ya man!! i hope this isnt too bad lol~))

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

fuck yeah i do bro. i wanna befriend at least one of them tbh.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

not really cause the kid left after 5th grade and i never saw him again,

19. Do you like bubble baths?

fuck yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont really talk to them haha.

21. What are you bad habits?

i have alot, talking to much and fighting HARD during a fight, and having the worst timing for smart ass comments, and trying to change things i cant change too much. theres more but thats a good few.

22. Where would you like to travel?

everywhere and anywhere tbh

23. Do you have trust issues?

a bit ive more developed them because of shitty people

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

either shower or the part where i come home and either draw, eat, play video games, get to text my boi, or where i get to sleep.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my nose, the corners of my mouth or my big toes.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

text my friend good morning or get up and play with my mouse for a few minutes

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

i enjoy my skin tone but i wish i could tan ith out burning although, ive always wanted to either be albino or see what its like to be darker.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

either Jay, or my friend Casey

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nope because i dont talk to them XD

30. Do you ever want to get married?

at some point maybe haha

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

almost but the sides and some of my bangs are just a teeny bit off from making it :u:

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

uhmm not really any tbh theyre all to much older than me

33. Spell your name with your chin.

alyxx/ nyxx

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

ew no but i like swimming and to go on walks for fun

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

thats hard cause i need both for background noise

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

not really, i dont think so

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

something really stupid and half the time really provocative

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

ahhhh hahaha well i dont really know because the guy im crushing on is my dream guy js. and if i were to try and describe him id butcher the amazing and astounding beauty of the real person to be honest

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

ahhhh idk, lush?? and anything with food tbh

40. What do you want to do after high school?

die, or move to salem WITCHever comes first -u0 lol (bad pun i know i know)

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

i belive in ALOT of chances tbh

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

either im tired, extremely sad/depressed, overthinking/ thinking, focusing, thinking how to reply something or im REALLY fucking pissed off at you for something.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

REALLY FUCKING AWKWARDLY AND IN REALLY FUCKING AWKWARD SITUATIONS

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

UHHHHHH BOTH!!!!!~ TF?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

THE INPENDING FEAR AND DOOM OF CRIPPLING ANXIETY IF I MISS THE BUS OR if im hanging out wiht someone that day the motivation of not being alone in my room with myself for the whole day or so hahaha, or a con/ meet up which applies to friends.

46. What are you paranoid about?

AAAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION???? fucking everything…

47. Have you ever been high?

yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

buzzed not drunk

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

uhhh i dont think so im not really very secretive. maybe like PERSONAL shit but no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

a few times

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

uhmmm either eye color and nose Physically.and personality wise i wish i wasnt so stubborn tbh.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

lush is the closest thing to makeup i use hunny

54. Favourite store?

lush

55. Favourite blog?

@thedevilandhisfiddleofgold c;

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food?

uhmmm theres too many to list, all?? except spicy

58. Last thing you ate?

a cracker with nutella on it

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a cinnamon powdered sugar doughnut

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

nope

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Suspending, accused of stealing shitty locker wallpaper panels. THAT I ACCTUALLY FUCKING HADNT ;U;

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

YES ;-;

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

never fucking had one kiddies sorry no story time for this one

65. Are you hungry right now?

kinda i want chips

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

uhm my only tumblr friends are friends in real life so not really because how do you like someone more on tumblr than you like them in real life??? not like its impossible its just odd.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

neither tbh, i only use my facebook for my work schedule

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

TUMBLR

69. Are you watching tv right now?

yes i started 13 reasons why

70. Names of your bestfriends?

jay, casey, liz (ranked most to least interaction and tbh who ive talked to most recently, those other two loosers never text me)

71. Craving something? What?

chips, cookies, FOOD, and love, BUT MOSTLY FOOD RN

72. What colour are your towels?

we have mostly white and black towels but theyre all just multicolored

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

(im also counting my stuffed animals as pillows)

at least 11 tbh

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

(refer to last question)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

75. Favourite animal?

wolf, fox, raven, snowleopard, cat, snake (i cant choose)

76. What colour is your underwear?

black like my soul bitch

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

birthday cake or cotton candy/ bubblegum

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black

80. What colour pants?

dark grey

81. Favourite tv show?

uhmmmm Voltron or steven universe

82. Favourite movie?

heathers and the crow

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

havent seen the second one (refer to previous question)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

the lebanese chick and the gay guy that were friends with lindsay lohan’s character

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

thats a hard question cause i love them all ;-;

87. First person you talked to today?

Jay (and caiden???) i sent a message to a group chat right after i woke up, i was pointed at Jay but theyre both in that chat

88. Last person you talked to today?

same chat

89. Name a person you hate?

ahha ahhahaha hahahaha, mmmmm theres alot

90. Name a person you love?

Jay, Casey, my pets

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

better question… is there not????

92. In a fight with someone?

i dont think so but im aboutabe casue they wont give me times on if theyre coming tomorrow or not ;-;

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2 and a pair of sweat pants i made into shorts

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

hehehe at least 6 or 7. tbh my attack on titan one has been issing for a while and it makes me sad

95. Last movie you watched?

heathers, im not saying the technical last one cause it was gross as fuck and doe not count as a movie to me

96. Favourite actress?

ehhh hellena bonham carter

97. Favourite actor?

johnny depp

98. Do you tan a lot?

not really cause i burn and im afraid of getting skin cancer

99. Have any pets?

2 guinea PIGS and a mouse

100. How are you feeling?

alright kinda missing my friends and also kind anxious

101. Do you type fast?

depends on my mood, what im typing on, and about

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

so.. many… things…

103. Can you spell well?

fairly decently i think, average nothing over the top but i try haha

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

ehhh Liz and my friend Julia from Germany she was cool.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

there was a girl named shannon who was all over me and head over heels for me, she mightve been a taurus. she tried to use some serious mental shit to try and get me to stay. i told her to seek professional help and not me.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

nope

108. What should you be doing?

a 10 page paper and finishing final fantasy, and getting more loot boxes in overwatch

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not really knowing what to do with my senior paper, shop friends, being alone, and not having enough hours in the day and always being fucking tired.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes, i do right now, tbh, but its cool

111. Do you have trust issues?

this was already asked. slightly it depends on the person

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

no one, mentally and close to physiccally jay and caiden, but im always mentally crying. i dont physically cry if i do youre special, im not that soft.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Ash

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i was born in pittsburgh, pa. i lived in townsend, ma and i just recently moved to pepperrel, ma.

115. Do you play the Wii?

not any more

116. Are you listening to music right now?

not really

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?

YAS

119. Favourite book?

how to make the perfect boy?? (its something like that) i also really enjoyed mrs. perigrines home for peculiar children.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

im afraid of what might be in it

121. Are you mean?

i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

ew not wtf

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

probably not

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

kinda but only to an extent

125. Do you believe in true love?

again kinda but only to an extent tbh

126. Are you currently bored?

a bit

127. What makes you happy?

chilling with jay, playing wiht my animal or sleeping

128. Would you change your name?

i want to, im trying to get Alyxx as my name hahah but i have a genius way to keep ASH

129. What your zodiac sign?

GEMINI BIATCH!!!!~

130. Do you like subway?

yeah its alright

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

uhhhh hahah i already dated my childhood bestfriend. Liz was chill but id kindly turn her down

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

already answered this up top, but Jay

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hmmmm i have too many tbh, id love to put one here but i cant think of a good one atm sorry my dudes

134. Can you count to one million?

maybe but im to lazy to fam

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

hahaha ive told too many to put those down

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

CLOSED OMFG NO #TRIGGERED

137. How tall are you?

5′5.25″ ( THAT QUARTER IS IMPORTANT ;u;, believe it or not i had=ve alot of friends that are taller than me)

138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy-ish

139. Brunette or Blonde?

i myself am a “brunette”

140. Summer or Winter?

kinda both

141. Night or Day?

ehh more night but i enjoy both

142. Favourite month?

either, October, November, December, and i actually am not a fan of my birth month may haha

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but ive thought about becoming one to cleanse and to get in better shape kinda reasons

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk and white

145. Tea or Coffee?

both

146. Was today a good day?

ehhh kinda

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers but i wanna try a mars bar

148. What’s your favourite quote?

hahah either

“ another fucking heather! -sighs- Our love is god let’s go get a slushie!”

-JD “Heathers”

( i relate most to the heather part tbh)

“ill hook ‘em…” “..and ill cook ‘em!”

-Roadhog and Junkrat “Overwatch”

( YEAH I KNOW IM TRASH BUT ITS A PRECIOUS QUOTE BETWEEN TO REALLY GOOD BEST MATES OKAY!!!??)

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

WHOLE HEARTEDLY, IVE SEEN THEM, IVE FELT THEM, IVE HEARD THEM, TALKED TO THEM, I RESPECT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND THEY ARE KINDA SLIGHTLY TERRIFYING BUT I LOVE THEM!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“WOW MAGNUS, you’re probably thinking. That was… stupid!”

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard

#my asks #non anon

2 notes · View notes

wejustsurvive · 5 years

Note

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i actually think its haley XD if not her then sam2. Are you outgoing or shy? im in between. new people make me shy, but i can be outgoing with people im comfortable with3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? meh4. Are you easy to get along with? i think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i can take care of myself thanks6. What kind of people are you attracted to? the wrong kind7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? who knows8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? nope9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probs emily11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? thank you 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Clairvoyant, you used to say, dead bird, how does it feel, i think your nose is bleeding.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i LOVE IT14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? i camped my life away16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? isnt that what a boyfriend is?17. Do you think there is life on other planets? obv.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope19. Do you like bubble baths? nope20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah my neighbor is my grandma, we have tea every morning

21. What are your bad habits? seeing the good in people after they have fucked me up. Always trying to help people.22. Where would you like to travel? all over canada, and greece, and thailand23. Do you have trust issues? yup24. Favorite part of your daily routine? lmao blazing? idk i dont have much of a routine25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach26. What do you do when you wake up? hate my life27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker28. Who are you most comfortable around? sam29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ummm not really, kyle said we could of worked through our shit when we first broke up but i believe we were made to be friends30. Do you ever want to get married? yes i do, i want my papa to walk me down the isle31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? soooo long32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Any and all Avengers. JS33. Spell your name with your chin. hnaqy7l4eyu34. Do you play sports? What sports? LMFAO 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yee37. What do you say during awkward silences? well this is fun38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone willing to go the extra mile just like i am39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? second hand stores40. What do you want to do after high school? die41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes i do42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im v sad and anxiety43. Do you smile at strangers? yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? bottom of the ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my animals46. What are you paranoid about? people hating me and driving with weed47. Have you ever been high? all day er day48. Have you ever been drunk? YUP XD49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not really, i wish people would actually find out about some things...50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black lol51. Ever wished you were someone else? every second52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? lol everything on the outside53. Favourite makeup brand? urban decay54. Favourite store? i dont have one55. Favourite blog? not anymore56. Favourite colour? pink57. Favourite food? sushi58. Last thing you ate? some chippies59. First thing you ate this morning? People eat in the morning????60. Ever won a competition? For what? LOL NO61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope62. Been arrested? For what? nope63. Ever been in love? is this love?64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? jon browne, caught on video. Was not expecting it65. Are you hungry right now? no66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i dont have tumblr friends anymore :’(67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter69. Are you watching tv right now? nope70. Names of your bestfriends?kyle haley suzie emily71. Craving something? What? ugh72. What colour are your towels? grey72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no real animals74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? too many for a adult75. Favourite animal? tigers76. What colour is your underwear? leopard print XD whoda guess77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ????? something fun79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light blue night with cats 80. What colour pants? i never wear pants when im home81. Favourite tv show? supernatural 82. Favourite movie? fuck too many, something avengers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the turtles maybe87. First person you talked to today? my Dog and yes hes a person88. Last person you talked to today? ive only talked to my dog XD89. Name a person you hate? My uncle90. Name a person you love? my Aunt Mary91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? YEEE 92. In a fight with someone? Like maybe? ask them, theyre the ones sending anon hate93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2 pairs, need more for work94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 595. Last movie you watched? ant man and the wasp96. Favourite actress? honestly no clue. i dont pay attention to that stuff97. Favourite actor? if i have a favourite its not for their acting skills so98. Do you tan a lot? nope and nope99. Have any pets? i have a zoo. And honestly im so proud of my family i wish i could introduce everyone i care for to them100. How are you feeling? honestly tumblr, not great. Ive been down the last couple months and i keep trying to get back where i was mentally but i having a hard time. Many things are getting me down and i want to fix them but somethings are out of my control. And i never taught myself how to cope with that101. Do you type fast? pretty fucking fast i work on the computer A LOT

102. Do you regret anything from your past? I regret little things, like not speaking up and telling people how i feel from the start. Its fucked up a lot in my life. But without going through and doing what i did i wouldnt be the compassionate person i am today.103. Can you spell well? sometimes when i dont overthink it104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? YES AND I WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER106. Ever broken someone’s heart? honestly, i have a couple times. Im not proud of it and i wish it could of been different but life happens107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes i love horseys108. What should you be doing? moving on and letting go109. Is something irritating you right now? yeah thats one way of putting it110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? lmao yes111. Do you have trust issues? so many112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Sam, always sam113. What was your childhood nickname? bird114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes i wanna go back to alberta115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore116. Are you listening to music right now? i was117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? YES119. Favourite book? acheron or Fahrenheit 451120. Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore121. Are you mean? people perceive me as mean sometimes because i like to be honest these days122. Is cheating ever okay? no its not.123. Can you keep white shoes clean? bitch i dont buy white shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hahaha i belive in lust in first site 125. Do you believe in true love? yes126. Are you currently bored? umm not the word i would use so no127. What makes you happy? when my animals are healthy128. Would you change your name? i wanted to when i was young but nah129. What your zodiac sign? gemini130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him to cool his jets. Been there done that. Did not work. We are happy as friends and get a long way better132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? honestly probably emily133. Favourite lyrics right now? i love this question

This is your life, there's no way to run from itThe doubt in your brain, or the pain in your stomachI only have the one complaint at the momentDon't paint me black when I used to be golden.

134. Can you count to one million? nope, dont have an attention span that long135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i work for telus136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open for the cats137. How tall are you? 5′5 and a half138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? night142. Favourite month? june143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk chocolate145. Tea or Coffee? tea146. Was today a good day? i just woke up, no147. Mars or Snickers? mars148. What’s your favourite quote? its on my wall

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

149. Do you believe in ghosts? yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? the books close to me are all notebooks. page 42 is blank

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