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outcast-thingz · 4 years

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Pairing: Nonbinary (Yuki) x Male (Thomas) Two random characters I came up with (once again thank you @red-riot-rat for the names)

Summary: What do you do when the most important person in your life to you gets cheated on? Taking them camping and have the closest time either of you have ever had of course. And maybe.. just maybe confess your crush?

Warnings: fluff, casual cussing, mahbe some angst.., did I mention fluff

Inspiration:

Whispering Wishes

"He what!?" Yuki's nostrils flared as listens to his friend's recent woes, "first that jealous good for nothing breaks your heart and now this idiot stands up a stud like you?! You really shouldn't waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise"

"Yuki, I'm okay really they were just some stupid guys." Thomas's weary voice came through the phone that Yuki put on speaker.

"You're right sweetness, they are stupid guys. However, one of them is a stupid guy you loved and spent three years with and the other is an asshole who stood you up last night." Forcing themself to take a deep breath Yuki calms. "Okay, okay… I got chu~" their voice became soft and sweet like the gentle strumming of a ukulele. "Pack yourself a bag Thomas. Make sure you got enough clothes for at LEAST three or four days, oh and don't forget swimming trunks!" They smile as they start to pack.

"Wha..what for?" Thomas sniffled.Yuki sighed,

"Listen, it's clear to me you need a pick-me-up, I'll be there in twenty five"

"I-.. okay, Yuki." The phone call ends.

Within ten minutes Yuki packed clothes, snacks, drinks, and camping stuff into his pickup truck. Truthfully most of it was pre-packed since Yuki planned on surprising Thomas with a camping trip anyways.

"I hate that this happened to him but at least I have an excuse to see him now." They told themself. The pickup truck roars upon the key being turned. "I know precious," Yuki patted the dashboard, "you get your wish today. We're going on a road trip." They roll out and spend the next fifteen minutes driving to Thomas's place.

*knock, knock, na-na-knock, knock knock* Yuki played their knuckles on Thomas's door.

He opens the door and greeted them, "Ba, da-da da da, da Da… Hello Yuki." It hurt Yuki to see bags under his best friend's eyes. Self guilt cloaked itself with a luke-warm smile and pulled on the strings around Yuki's heart. Without missing a beat they wrapped their arms around Thomas. "I-... I" his lips tremble, "Please Yuki. I don't want to cry right now," he held back the river that rammed against the damn he built. He could feel the care from a dear friend chipping its way at his damn; if yuki kept this up much longer Thomas was bound to cry and wasn't sure he'd ever stop. Yuki sighed and back from the hug allowing their hands to slip down his arms. They curled Thomas's fingers holding them gently.

"Sorry, I guess you could say I like to push my luck." Yuki jokes. Thomas surprised both of them when he giggled. Yuki smiled, "are you all packed?" He nodded, "Good. I'll get the bags and then you can take my hand, lets take a drive!" They insisted. Soon enough the two left hand in hand.

This is something Yuki was waiting for,

'I've been living in the future; hoping I would see you sooner' they thought to themself. Every so often Thomas offers to drive but every time Yuki would shake their head, "we may have the gps but you don't know where we're going, it's a surprise. So, I want you riding shotgun." After a few minutes of silence Thomas sighs. "What's up, buttercup?" They ask and place their free hand on Thomas's closest hand. He holds his best friend's hand with both of his.

"Yuki, why-... why do you choose to stay my friend?" He hesitates as if he is afraid of the answer. Yuki frowns internally, it hurts them to know some jerk got under their best friend's skin.

'Oh Thomas… he still has a hold on you. Nothing can change the fact that in my eyes you are the love of my life.' They smile and gently squeezes Thomas's hands.

"Becuse, I knew when I got one right," Yuki turns their head, "what'da'ya say we fall in love for the night and forget in the mornin?" They turn back to the road. The two of them laugh since it seems like Yuki was joking.

"I'll make you a different deal, how about get some music going? I'm being a total party pooper so Play me a song that you like; you can bet I'll know every line!" Thomas challenges and Yuki accepts. They watch Thomas from the corner of their eye. After a few song pass Yuki could see Thomas relax more and truly enjoy the ride. It made Yuki happy to see the love of their life forgetting about their pain and feeling free again.

'I'm the [person] that your boy hoped that you would avoid; don't waste your time on jealous guys; fuck that noise! Thats right you asshole, I know how to make him forget all about you. But I know better than to ever call [him] mine… I suppose by taking Thomas away from people like this doesn't make me any better than the jealous ex..'

After spending half the day driving the giggling duo reaches their destination.

"A camping area?" Thomas moves his lips to one side as he furrows his brows.

"Mhmm!" Yuki nods and gets out of the car, "Not just any camping area, the one-"

"The one we met at, yeah, I recognize it now. You're family was set up in the camping area by the river next to ours." Thomas reflects as he stares at the familiar surroundings. A spark of joy lights in his eyes once again. He walks over to his best friend and hugs them, "Thank you, Yuki. You're amazing."

"Nope, you're amazing. If it wasn't for you coming on the camping trip I would have left with my mom"

"You're just saying that-" Thomas stops abruptly. Yuki had pulled themself away from the hug, and placed their hands on either side of his face. Determination, that was all Thomas could see.

"No. I'm not." Yuki states, "before you getting along with others was hard for me but you took time to know me, understand me. I lo-... I love our friendship."

'I'm and Idiot! Why don't I just confess my undying love right now!?... stupid'

For a moment Thomas was stunned. Soon enough he was laughing, leaving Yuki puzzled.

"And I thought I was the grateful one. I think you've changed life for me just as much as I've changed life for you. I'm not sure what I would do without you Yuki." He takes their hands off his face and wraps his arms around Yuki. There it was again, that bittersweet feeling; they loved him so damn much but knew they could never have them.

Thomas and Yuki spend a few days out camping. They hike the surrounding area, jump in the freezing river, regret it and warm up by the fire, and just talk themselves to sleep. Each day was filled with smile Yuki loved to see, the laugh they love to hear, scent of pine needles and campfires they loved to smell, as well as, the gentle boops and forehead kisses they loved to feel.

*late at night on the trip's last night*

"No! No don't apologize for that!" Yuki frantically waved their arms dismissively, "I love when you talk that nerdy shit!" He chuckles as Yuki just stare at those eyes that are lit with passion. They could stare at that forever. Thomas sighs and looks back at the clear sky

"We're in our twenties talking talking thirty's shit!" He jokes. Yuki copies his moves,

"Yeah but think about it.. with all that you know about astrology, even if we just do it as a side business we'll be makin' money but we're savin' it! Cause talking shit is cheap and we talk a lot of it!" they joke back.

Thomas promptly rises from his chair and marches over to his best friend.

"You better take that back!" A wild grin graced his face, "Astrology is not shit! You take it back!" They raise a brow daringly with a smirk they couldn't help but show.

"Oh yeah and what are you gonna do about it? ~Tommy Bear~" they tease.

"That's it!!" Thomas proclaims before staring a tickle attack.

"AHH! NO HAHA NN-NO! HAHAH" Yuki playfully cries out between laughs. 'You won't stay with me I know; but your can have your way with me till you go.'

"Okay. Okay. I take it back!" They manage to say. Thomas stops tickling and gives Yuki a peck on the for head.

"An apology for tickling too much." He states.

"But that doesn't make any sense!" Yuki giggles. The man just shakes their head and sits on Yuki's lap. "Thomas wh-"

"Shhhh" he places a finger on their lips, "pillows don't talk." He leaves his head to the side, resting it atop Yuki's shoulder. "Although I did here some sing." He mutters.

Once again Yuki giggles, they couldn't get over how adorable the love of their life was.

'If all your kisses turn to bruises, then I'm a warning.' A twang upon their heart as they reminded all the forehead kisses they had been given. It was like someone flicking a bruise with a metal glove on.

"Let's fall in love for the night, and forget in then morning," They sing as they wrap their arms securely around their best friend and childhood crush, "Play me a song that you like you can bet I'll know every line… cause I'm the [person] that your boy hoped you avoid." They glance down to see Thomas already fast asleep. Still they continue, "Don't waste your time on jealous guys, fuck.. that.. nooiise…. I know better, I know better" they trail off into a hum 'I love you Thomas with every part of me but... I know better than to eevvver.. call you-oo miiine~..' Yuki gave Thomas a gentle kiss on his cheek before whispering as quietly as possible, "I love you, forever and always Thomas…" He stirs a bit in his sleep but nevertheless stays asleep. "Heh heh~" Yuki chuckles and leans their head against his quickly falling asleep.

The end

Taglist: @gayfanficanonymous @wow-she-a-h0e-for-aran (if you want to br added to the tag list let me know)

#fluff #some angst #nonbinary #nonbinary x male #fanfic #fan fiction

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pointreyesjournal · 2 years

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Helmet Time : ep78

This whole “Ana” situation has left me struggling philosophically and ideologically with the concept of love. Pre-Ana I was whole. I was a complete entity. You could say that maybe I was lonely, or ready to find love, or whatever … but I was generally happy. I had my motorcycles and my photography and good friends.

The bad days weren’t too bad. The good days weren’t too good.

But life was sustainable. And I had hope.

Post-Ana, I feel despondency. Like, I’m going to live out my remaining days with a deep sense of loss and incurable emptiness.

“They” say, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I’m not so sure that “they” are right. In fact … fuck them. “They” are wrong. I was a much happier person two months ago.

Over the course of our relationship I spent a lot of time thinking about my future. I even discussed it with Ana. We would move to the country, destress, make and raise beautiful children, and have a life together. We'll get a dog named Rover, and he'll bark at passersby.

Life would be simple, and straight forward, and we'd be happy.

She too was examining her own future and my role in it. Apparently what I was offering wasn’t good enough. Unfortunately, “The Good Doctor” was the prescription she needed for happiness. Maybe she'll be content, but I get the sense she won't be truly happy. Or maybe it's the other way round.

Regardless, I’m worse off than when I started. I feel like the guy in the football highlight reel that catches the interception then triumphantly runs into the wrong end zone.

This whole experience has really taught me how conditional love is. Love as a collective group of feelings is a very powerful and believable thing. One that you hope is eternal. When in fact, love is conditional upon your values aligning with the values of the person upon which you’re projecting love.

When people get divorced, they nearly always cite “irreconcilable differences” as the cause. What does that mean? It means people “grew apart.” It means that both parties changed over time, in ways that were incompatible with one another. It means love is conditional. It means love is fragile.

Maybe love is just compatibility? Maybe true love is just 100% compatibility? Jeez, that seems awfully pessimistic.

But love, like life itself, seems quite fleeting.

The Ana situation also made me reflect upon my own mortality. If you’re not going to create a family, what is the point of your own existence, other than self satisfaction?

If I don’t find true love, am I just going to coast along in this life with a smile on my face and a hole in my heart until I reach the finish line?

What then?

When you die, do they just sell your shit at an estate sale and the universe forgets about you? If you don’t pass along your genes, do you stand a shot at having a legacy?

I remember hearing the actor Mandy Patinkin saying “As long as someone remembers your name, your story isn't over.”

It took 15 generations of men to build the Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Strasbourg between 1277–1439. “Our family are cathedrale builders. My grandfather was a cathedral builder, and his grandfather was a cathedral builder.” Entire families built their legacies on building that damn cathedral, and not a word of their existence remains. There's no legacy.

But the building still stands …

I’m sorry about the ramblings and musings. These are the thoughts bouncing around in my head as I ride north.

With any luck I'll ride out of this mental fog and find some clarity.

With any luck ...

#novel #first person narrative #thoughts #love #san francisco

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Grace & Janis

Grace: Not to cause drama but your man can't stay away 😂💓 insisted on giving me the caravan keys himself this morning babes Janis: 'Cos he's not my man, go hog wild Grace: OH HUNNY NO 😭 WHAT HAPPENED? OMG DID HE GO TOO FAR WITH THE PRETTY WOMAN SITU Janis: No, sadly I'm not 3 grand better off for it, Grace. Janis: Just run its course, I'm over it. Grace: I can't believe he'd use you like that! 🐖 After you took him on hols too OUTRAGEOUS 😧 Grace: You'll be okay though babe you are better off if he's gonna be like that Grace: OMG ITS THE CURSE OF SKERRIES! REMEMBER ME AND TY Janis: Maybe I used him? Ever think of that Janis: Nah, I don't...which one was that Grace: That's right gurl ♀ take control of the narrative Grace: You dumped him, consider it announced 💋 Grace: He had that well buff neck tat, remember? Janis: Its the truth. Nothing happened anyway, not proper. Janis: I'd rather keep it to myself but if you must, cheers Janis: Ahh, borstal boy Grace: 🙊 Gotcha 😇 Grace: Is that in 11? He was from there Grace: Anyway you should come on my juice cleanse Janis: No Grace, lol never mind, don't worry about it Janis: How am I gonna work out with nothing but a belly full of juice? I need protein Janis: but I wouldn't hate the vitamins and electrolytes, sometimes Grace: Oh Jan-Jan EVERYONE else manages it 🙄 but you are going through a break up 😢 just don't eat your feelings too hard. Asia's still trying to lose lbs 2 boys later 🙈 Grace: Yayyy! Come to town with me. It's lush there. 😜 drinks aren't bad either lol Janis: That's because you all only do half an hour of light cardio at best Janis: No I'm not, and there are no feelings to eat, I'll be in better shape now he's gone, more time to hit the gym, no more cafe shit Janis: Asia just wants an excuse to get fat, in or out of a relationship Janis: Not today, I'm busy but tomorrow lunch maybe Janis: I cba to be at school for any more time than is required Janis: might throw a sickie Grace: Rude! I know you're hurting but there's no need to come for me and my gym routine Grace: You don't have to pretend with me, babes 🤗 Grace: Unfair, Jan! She's been to WW and everything! It's so sad. Such a struggle Grace: YES! I'll phone in too. We can have a duvet day together. SISTER TIME SICKIE Grace: 💕 You'll feel better in no time Janis: I truly ain't. Janis: And if you don't want me to come for it, try harder, same goes for Asia. Janis: If she actually wanted it, she could, simple as. Janis: Nah, you have to spread my side of the story, don't you? Need you on the frontlines Janis: Plus, I'm going nan and grandad's, not home Grace: EXCUSE YOU BITCH I WAS AT THE GYM FOR 3 HOURS LAST NIGHT Grace: Okay yeah good point, can't let him chat shit about you after everything ugh Janis: Taking selfies? Lol, alright, alright, well done you Janis: I'm sure he won't.. Janis: It'll be everyone else Janis: Don't try and 'come' for him, Grace, that would be so embarrassing. Just set other people right, that's what I mean, right? Grace: thnx 😘 Grace: Boys can't even help themselves Grace: Oh Jan I'm not gonna fight him!! 😂 Don't worry I got this Janis: Yeah but just don't even chat to him Janis: I know YOU can't help yourself Janis: but I don't need it, Grace Grace: 🤐 Going to him for goss? Please. I'd never. Grace: He'd only lie anyway Grace: I can't 🤞 to hold the girls back tho Janis: For God's sake, its none of their business Janis: This is what I mean, everyone getting involved, can't people just leave it Grace: Bailey did lock lips with him first, babe Grace: You can't blame her for feeling wronged Janis: Yeah I can, when she practically grabs up on boys like Trump Janis: Its not on Janis: If she wants to try again, she can, she don't need to drag my name into her piss-poor attempt at chat Grace: Your ex WOULD say it went down like that 🙄 Grace: He's so gross! I shouldn't have let you near him 😧 Janis: It isn't just him Janis: she's getting herself a worse rep than she already had Grace: OMG JANIS STOP SLUT SHAMING MY FRIEND Grace: I can't believe my twin is such a bad feminist Janis: I can't believe you're siding with the abuser, and not believing a victim Janis: If you wanna chat that bullshit Janis: so leave it out Grace: You shouldn't throw words like that around. It's no joke Janis: It isn't. Janis: Let JGG know before she gets in trouble Grace: YOU STILL LOVE HIM, DON'T YOU? 😭 SO SAD Grace: I get you siding with your boy now Grace: poor Jan-Jan. I'll get him back for you don't worry Janis: No, it wasn't that deep, it was only a few months, get real Janis: Never did Janis: I don't want him back, focus on getting him for yourself, like you always wanted Grace: Oh honey...whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie Grace: I hate hearing you like this Grace: He really did a number on you 😢 Grace: We'll say no more about him Janis: I'm not you, Grace. I don't have to pretend it was love in the moment, or after, just to make myself fell better and to let the world know I'm not a skank. Janis: Good, stop talking, you've got no idea. Grace: DON'T TAKE YOUR MOOD OUT ON ME I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP Janis: Well you're not so stop trying, thanks Grace: Well now I know what to get you for christmas ffs! Grace: You need therapy, girl Grace: No-one else can talk to you when you're like this Janis: I hope you've not pulled me in secret santa, 'cos you're almost as bad at gifting as 'helping' Janis: you can't either, you just like the sound of your own voice Janis: and i'm the fucked up one, lol Grace: Mum and dad will send you, you know, they're always chatting about it Grace: see how edgy you are then Janis: good luck, i'm capable of keeping my mouth shit for more than five minutes Janis: no wonder all your boyfriends use yours then bounce, who could bare you Janis: if we weren't related to you, none of us would Grace: Maybe that's your problem, babe. Jimmy obvs wasn't feeling the strong silent type Grace: At least I've had boyfriends you've done it once and think you're an expert Grace: No wonder he got fed up Janis: Yeah, he's really after a girl just like you, that's why he does everything possible to avoid you Janis: You're the clueless one, Cher lol Grace: It's hilarious to me that you think I was ever interested in your fuckboy barista Grace: Both lads he works with are well fitter for a start Grace: I was happy for you, doesn't mean I'd be happy to go there Janis: You're so blatant the old dears having their pot of tea went to fucking pray for you after Janis: The idea you think you're slick enough that he didn't notice, I didn't notice, that the whole fucking town isn't aware who you want to ride next, is what's hilarious Janis: Sort yourself out, its embarrassing Grace: Nothing could be as embarrassing as having you for a sister 😂 Grace: Go cry to nan babes I'm over it Janis: The feeling's more than mutual, GracieGuru Janis: No one crying but you, as per Grace: As if I'd waste the mascara. Get a life Janis: I've got one, and it isn't yours to share; a fact you haven't been able to stand since you fell out of mum with me Grace: 😂 WHERE? You've got no friends, no lad and you hang out with our grandparents most nights Grace: so much to envy Janis: and yet, I'd sooner that than yours Janis: and that's what's really sad Janis: poor wittle gracie poo Grace: Next time you go running just keep going like Grace: Nobody'll mind here Janis: Yeah, 'cos they all love you Janis: You don't fit in Janis: Changeling baby, nowhere else to go Janis: Mum always liked taking in strays Grace: Must've been why she kept you Janis: Burn Grace: If you fit in so well why are you never here Grace: Too busy thinking you're above me to bother with the rest. That's sad Janis: Cos I can't fucking stand you, Grace Janis: and if I'm anywhere within a mile radius of you, I'm liable to kill you Janis: and you aren't worth the prison time Grace: Wow I'm so intimidated Janis: You aren't meant to be Janis: No one here but you needs to front Janis: Its the truth, you make my life hell Grace: Chats the girl who does nothing but Grace: You only went out with the barista because you THOUGHT I was interested Grace: Such a loser move Grace: Don't expect me to feel bad for you Janis: Jokes on you because I didn't go out with him Janis: He wanted you and your marauding band of molesters to get the hint and leave him and the others alone Janis: and you just made yourself look more and more idiotic every time, just been laughing about you behind your back this whole time Janis: It was a laugh Janis: So, do you get it now, hun? I'm not devvo, I'm just bored of making a fool out of you when you're happy to do it by yourself every day of your life Grace: Like I'd believe that. He dumped you because you're so crap you can't even make a candlelit bath sexy, cope with it Janis: Believe what you want, sweetheart, I'm not the one that's full of shit Grace: Yeah you are Janis: Oh honey...whatever you need to tell yourself sweetie Grace: @yourself next time babes Janis: you already did Janis: i bow to your infinite wisdom Janis: you should write a blog, oh wait- you already do and no one fucking reads it, 'cos you're a basic bitch giving children life advice like you have any idea what you're doing Grace: And you do? 😂 Faking a relationship for MONTHS to mess with me when all I've been is supportive about you getting a lad in the first place Grace: Such a good one of yours Janis: Yeah, this is hilarious Janis: like you ain't reacting exactly how I hoped you would, you pathetic bitch Janis: I knew it was fake, you need to catch yourself on Janis: fake friends, fake fun, fake boyfriends, fake happiness Janis: its honestly sad, you need therapy Grace: Yeah I need to catch myself on to how pathetic you are for literally living a cliche so bad it wouldn't air on CW Grace: To think I thought you were actually sorting yourself out. That's sad Janis: and yet, you and your gal pals lap up every episode Janis: just like you did here, so predictable i could set a watch to you Janis: what, to be like you? you're so sorted? Janis: no one wants to be like you grace, no one would ever want that Janis: you can joke and hashtag about goals, but if having to see you is anything like having to be you Janis: i'd sooner join edie Grace: That's a sick thing to say. Don't bring her into your bullshit, Janis Janis: MY bullshit? Janis: This ain't nothing but you, as per Janis: You're like fucking black mould, spreading everywhere, ruining everything, suffocating us all Janis: and I can talk about her all I fucking want, fuck you Janis: just cos you wanna pretend she didn't exist Grace: No I don't I just don't think it's fair that you use her death to play the victim with me now Grace: To say you'd rather die than deal with your bs is gross Janis: Yeah its only okay when you do it Janis: woe is you Janis: suicide is so gross ew Janis: what a problematic cunt you are Grace: You using it to guilt me is Grace: If you want to kill yourself don't put that on me Grace: You gonna leave me tapes? Fuck off Janis: Why not? Janis: Someone's at fault Janis: we all know who's fault it was Edie died Janis: its no secret Grace: And I'm at fault for your EVERY issue, sure Jan Grace: Don't take any responsibility at all Janis: Did I say that? Janis: You're a cunt, own it Janis: Don't pretend you care, 'cos I didn't ask you to and it does fuck all for me or you Janis: I'm not interested in being your sister, never mind anything beyond a familial tie so drop dead, sincerely Grace: I do care, bitch. How dare you. Grace: Yeah like death fixes anything. I'd still be your sister. Cope with it Janis: At least you'd be my dead sister, that's easier Grace: Yeah because you handle it all so well Janis: Better than I handle having to be anywhere near you Janis: Don't you get it yet? I hate you Grace: Then don't be. Run away to Grandad's. Nobody is bothered I already told you Janis: You are, you delusional cunt! Janis: You always try to talk to me, you won't leave me the fuck alone Janis: who started this conversation Janis: I do everything that's humanly possible to avoid you and you still won't sto

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