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booksalwaysandforever · 4 years

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Holding on to the Memories Chapter 3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Summary: Lauren’s life was a perfect dream, until one day it wasn’t. Cutting can distract you from life, but it can also take life away. Can Lauren get back home, or has it all been taken away from her?

Tag list: @kai-unknown

Length: almost 3000 words, it’s pretty long!

I’m so sorry, it has been forever since I posted. This chapter took a long time to write and I have had a rough couple weeks. I absolutely love this chapter and I hope you do too! I will try and get the next chapter out a lot faster than this one.

The darkness was all consuming. There was no way out, and no way to tell how long I had been here. It could’ve been 5 minutes or a month. I didn’t know.

All of a sudden, the darkness lit up with millions of colors. At first, I thought the light was back, but as I watched the scene in front of me unfold, I quickly realized that wasn’t it at all.

“Please, take care of her,” a woman, my birth mother, said as she handed a baby to Carlisle.

“We will take care of her and give her a life as grand as if she were a princess.” She smiled at the answer and closed her eyes as her breathing stopped. Carlisle turned to the baby in his arms. “Welcome to the family, Lauren. I promise to love you as if you were my own daughter, as I’m sure Esme and the rest of your siblings will as well.” With that, he turned and rushed away.

This was a memory. It was mine, but at the same time, it wasn’t. I was too young to remember this. It must’ve been Carlisle’s. It was the day he found and adopted me. Carlisle had been hunting nearby and could smell the blood. He came as fast as he could to see what had happened and if he could help. Sadly, my dad was killed on impact and my mother was severely hurt. Carlisle couldn’t save her, but before she died, she gave me to Carlisle, in hopes that he could give me an amazing life.

The memory quickly faded into another one.

“Everyone, I have some news,” Carlisle said as he walked through the door. “Meet your new little sister. Her parents were in a car crash and she has no other family, so she’ll be staying with us.”

Everyone piled around, getting a good look at their sister.

“Nessie,” Edward said, “she looks a little like you. And a lot like you did when you were human, Bella.”

“Yeah, brown hair, brown eyes, so similar.” Renesmee said, rolling her eyes as she moved closer to me. “Hi there girly. I’m Nessie, your big sister.” The little baby giggled and stretched their hands out to grab at Renesmee’s hand. When she got a hold of it, she pulled the fingers into her mouth and began sucking on them.

“I think she’s going to start using us all as teething rings,” Esme laughed as she reached her hands out to Carlisle. “Come here girly, Mommy wants to meet you.”

The moment Esme got her hands on the little girl, she began swaying side to side and humming to her. The baby was asleep within a minute.

“What’s her name, Carlisle?” Rosalie asked.

“Lauren Lee Stoel. She is about 4 months old I do believe. I have yet to see her official birth certificate, but I’m sure I will soon. The adoption process starts on Monday.”

“Wait, we’re actually adopting her?” Esme asked with a huge grin on her face.

“Yes dear. In a matter of months, she will officially be ours. She will officially be a Cullen.”

The scene faded again as another one began appearing. Renesmee was showing me as many memories as she could find, memories from my life, taken from the rest of my family, trying to help me wake up.

Esme opened the door to a room and walked in. I followed her in, but it was so dark, I couldn’t see anything. As my eyes adjusted, I realized it was the nursery. A baby, little me, was lying in a crib with Jasper sitting in the rocking chair nearby, reading a book.

“Jasper, what are you doing?” Esme quietly asked.

“I’m tryin’ to get used to her scent and calm ‘er down. She was fidgeting and having a nightmare, I think. I was gonna try and calm her down.”

Ever since that day, Jasper had been my best friend. Slowly, he had gotten used to me and every time I hurt myself or couldn’t sleep, he calmed me down.

The next memories were like pictures. There wasn’t much for talking, but there were short snippets of my life as a baby, captured like a picture.

Jasper was holding me and singing me to sleep while rocking in the rocking chair.

Rosalie was feeding me some mashed peas, which I had effectively flung back into her face. Everyone, including Rosalie, laughed.

Edward sat me in his lap, and was playing the piano. After a moment, I recognized the tune as my lullaby. I was banging on the piano as hard as I could, making it impossible for him to play.

Alice had dressed me up like a princess, practically in a ballgown. Baby me did not like that. I was screaming my lungs out and trying to pull it off.

Emmett was lying on the ground beside me, playing with me. After a few moments, I yawned and fell asleep. Emmett appeared not to notice and continued playing with my fascinating baby toys.

As I watched these pictures, I realized that Renesmee wasn’t in all of them. She must have talked to everyone, asking them to tell her about some memories they had of me, and she painted the picture in my head. It was almost like I was there with them, watching myself grow up.

“Oh Lauren! Look at you! You’re so grown up,” Rosalie cooed. Emmett was holding onto my hands, helping my almost one year old self walk across the living room floor. “Come here, come to Rosy”

I let go of Emmett’s hands and walked the small three steps into Rosalie’s arms.

“Oh! Lauren, you did it!” she gasped.

“Yeah, you can walk now!” Emmett shouted

And another memory. A birthday no less.

“Happy birfday to me!!” I cried as I shoved my entire face into the birthday cake Alice had made for my first birthday.

“See, this is why we had to strip her before we let her eat it,” Carlisle said. “Lauren, do you like cake?”

“Oooooh, cake. I like cake,”

“Esme, I don’t think a bath is going to clean her. We’re going to need a garden hose.”

“I’ll go get the power washer!”

Everyone laughed. “Emmett, no! You do not get to hose down your sister with the power washer.”

Images of my second, third, and fourth birthday all passed by, along with many different images of me playing games with my family, meeting the wolves and playing with them, and other random memories. None of them were very long, just a moment or two, but that didn’t mean they weren’t important to me.

“Emmett, Jasper, can you guys take Lauren and go shopping for food for her this afternoon? Your father has to work and the rest of us need to go hunting,” Esme asked the boys.

“Sure thing, Mom,” Jasper said as he grabbed the keys. Emmett helped me put my shoes on and buckled me into my booster seat.

“So, what do you want for supper Lauren?” Emmett asked, turning around in his seat to look at me.

“Pancakes. And Mac and Cheese. Oh! And chicken nuggets.” Jasper laughed.

“We’ll see what we can get you squirt.”

When we got to the store, Emmett and Jasper followed me around the store and let me pick out anything I wanted. The best part of being the youngest kid was that all of my older siblings didn’t have the ability to say no to me. After 30 minutes of following me around the store, we walked out with several bags, mostly consisting of sugar, and brought them to the car.

After spending the afternoon playing games and running around the house with Emmett and Jasper, everyone came home.

“So, how was shopping, boys?” Esme asked.

“Good, we got everything Lauren wanted.”

“Oh no. No no no.” Esme put her head in her hands. “Please tell me you bought more than just donuts, ice cream, and candy bars.”

“Don’t worry, we did. We also got her some fruit snacks, fruit roll ups, juice boxes, popsicles, and chocolate milk,” said Emmett with an innocent grin on his face.

“And some Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, yogurt, fish sticks, and stuff for pancakes and waffles. Don’t worry, there is some actual food in there,” Jasper said, laughing at Esme’s horrified face.

“So Lauren, what do you want to be for Halloween?” Jacob asked me.

“That’s a secret. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Jacob always took Renesmee and I trick or treating. Renesmee was only one year older than my four year old self, so she passed for a young teenager. People still gave her candy when she was with me, so we always went together. Most of the time, it was too sunny out when we started trick or treating so none of the rest of the family could come.

A week later, it was time to go trick or treating. Alice was in my room helping me get ready.

“Lauren, are you almost ready? We need to go before all the good candy is gone,” Jacob called from down the stairs.

“I’m coming. I’m coming,” I shouted back. As I walked down the stairs, Jacob started laughing. I was dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood, and Renesmee and I convinced him to be a wolf. Renesmee was dressed as a grandma to follow along with the whole scheme.

“See, we match!”

From that day on, Jacob always called me Little Red. My Halloween costumes had earned me several nicknames. I dressed up as a bear for Emmett one year and he had begun to call me “brown bear”. I became known as “spider monkey” to Edward because I dressed up as a spider monkey one year for him, and the fact that I would always climb on everything when I was little. To Jasper, I was his “mini major”. I had dressed up as a cowgirl once and I often had a bit of a temper and was pretty sassy. The best Halloween costume though, was when I dressed up as a vampire. Alice and Edward helped me get red contacts, fake fangs, a cape, and everything else to help me look like a vampire in movies, even some fake blood and red juice to drink. Everyone loved it. It was by far, the best Halloween costume ever.

“Can I please know what my birthday present is?” I asked. Jasper had blind folded me and had slung me over his shoulder while he carried me somewhere.

“No. It’s a surprise.”

“Come on, please? Pretty please? I’m seven now. I should get to know.”

“No.”

“Wow, this is one of the first times you’ve said no.” Jasper laughed.

“We’ve all had a hard time saying no to you since you’re so cute.”

“I’m not cute,” I exclaimed as I hit him as hard as I could without hurting myself. “Rosalie says I’m beautiful. Also, your shoulder hurts. It’s too hard. I’m going to break my hand one of these days from smacking you or Emmett.” Jasper laughed at me again.

“Then maybe don’t hit us.”

“But you deserve to be hit.”

“I agree with Lauren.” Rosalie said, standing somewhere beside me. Jasper set me down on the ground. I could tell we were outside due to the sound of the creek and the breeze blowing my hair.

“Okay, are you ready to see your birthday present?”

“Yes. I’ve been waiting a whole year!” Everyone laughed.

“Okay then.”

Rosalie untied the blindfold and everyone at the party began singing happy birthday. My family, the pack, Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Sue, Grandpa Billy, and even my aunts and uncles from Alaska were there. Alice had made this a huge party, with fairy lights hanging from the trees, a huge banner that said “Happy 7th birthday, Lauren” in fancy calligraphy, and a huge birthday cake. But the coolest thing I saw was a swimming pool with a diving board and slide, a trampoline, and a tree house in the climbing tree.

“A tree house, a pool, and a trampoline?” I exclaimed, jumping up and down.

“Yes dear,” said Carlisle. “You’ve been begging us to get at least one for a while and you’ve been doing amazing in school, so we decided to let you have all three.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I shouted as I gave him and Esme hugs. I ran over to the trampoline, and Seth, Jacob, Emmett, and Jasper followed me.

“Boys,” Esme called. “That is Lauren’s gift. Let's not break it on the first day.”

A billion more memories went through my head. Memories of riding on Jacob’s back through the forest and going on runs with all of my siblings and the rest of the pack. Memories of playing tons of board games and video games with Emmett and Jasper, learning to play piano with Edward, and learning to dance with all my brothers and Dad. Going shopping with Rosalie, Alice, and Bella, spending the night at Renesmee’s house and her spending the night with me. Having sleepovers at Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Sue’s house, sleepovers with the pack at Sam and Emily’s house, and even sleepovers in Alaska with Aunt Tanya, Aunt Kate, and Uncle Garrett. Making a flower crown for everyone in the Volturi when they came to visit, making Marcus smile for the first time in a very long time, pretending to be a vampire princess when I visited their palace. Singing and dancing for my entire family, playing tag with everyone, only for it to end with someone catching me, throwing me in the air, and tickling me. Memories of things like going tubing, or to an amusement park with Renesmee, Jacob, Seth, and sometimes the rest of the pack. Even just simple things like blasting music in the car on the way to school, or seeing everyone in the front row at one of my dance recitals. Every one of those billion memories reminded me of why I needed to fight to stay. I needed to hold on to these memories and go home. But how?

One last memory plays in my mind. This one definitely wasn’t mine, but it was everyone else's.

My entire family was there, standing in a hospital room, crowded around a bed. My bed. Renesmee was sitting next to me, on my right side near the window, holding her hand to my cheek. Jasper was sitting on my other side holding my hand, while Alice was standing behind him. Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett, Edward and Bella, and Jacob were all standing around my bed. Edward spoke first.

“As you’ve realized, Renesmee has been playing as many memories as she could find for you to try and wake you up. So far, it hasn’t helped. I hope this does. We need you to come back, Lauren.”

“Brown bear, come home,” Emmett whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear. “We’ve got to play Cards Against Humanity.”

“Lauren, we found your gifts,” Rosalie said, reaching for the locket around her neck. “I love it. And I promise,” she said, opening the locket to reveal the picture inside. “I didn’t put anything embarrassing in here.”

Esme��s crying was worse than it had ever been. Her body was shaking with sobs, which was very unusual for a vampire. She was turned into Carlisle’s body, who was holding her, but he looked like he was going to collapse himself.

“Princess, please. We need you,” was all he could choke out in a hoarse whisper. My dad was never like this. He was always cool, calm, collected. Right now, he looked like a mess. I had broken my Dad. And that broke my heart.

“Little Red, the pack needs you too.” Jacob said from behind Renesmee. “They’ve all been a mess. Especially Seth and Leah. They haven’t slept or eaten in days. We need you. Fight. Please, please fight.”

“Lauren, I need my best friend. I need help eating all the candy and ice cream at home, help beating the boys at every video game we own, help pulling all nighters and watching every movie for the six millionth time. I can’t do that without you. I can’t do it without my best friend and sister.”

Both Bella and Alice couldn’t talk, they were sobbing too hard. I left Alice speechless for the first time ever.

“I love you too.” That was all Jasper could say. I had never seen him cry. Jasper did not cry. Not once. But now, he was. My big brother, the Major, the strongest of us all, was crying, no, sobbing. And it was all my fault. Slowly, Jasper leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

That kiss was true love. My brother loved me more than anything, and that was what fought the darkness. The feeling of his lips leaving my head were the first thing I could feel. That and his cold hand in mine felt amazing against my burning skin. Now, I could hear the sounds of everyone's sobs in my own ears. I was regaining consciousness! I had fought the darkness and now I could go home. I forced my eyes open and looked at my family, who, other than Alice and Edward, had no idea I was awake. Alice had gasped the moment Jasper had decided to kiss my head, so everyone turned to look at her.

“Jasper” I croaked. Everyone turned their heads to me as fast as they could, disbelief filling their eyes.

“Lauren!”

#twilight #twilight imagine #Cullen Family #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #edward cullen #bella cullen #renesmee cullen #jacob black #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #rosalie cullen #rosalie twilight #alice cullen #Emmett Cullen #twilight imagines

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emeto-things · 6 years

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My Emetophobia Story!

Hi my name is Abby and I’ve had emetophobia since 2011 when I was only 8 years old. It was the winter and the flu was going around. My brother got it, and for some reason he makes himself sick on purpose so he can feel better? Idk. Either way, my bedroom was next door to the bathroom. I woke up to the horrendous sound of g* and v*. I ran into my parents room and asked my mom what was going. She told me he was purposefully making himself sick and that everything was okay. After shaking and crying, I went to bed and couldn’t sleep because it made me so awake. I ended up catching the flu a couple hours later. I was so worried that I was gonna v* too and my mom could NOT convince me that it wasn’t part of the flu and he didn’t that on purpose. The whole time I had the flu I slept barely any, constantly worrying i’d v*. Thankfully I didn’t! After the flu was gone, I was back to my normal self. Until 2013, when I was 10. I was talking to a pen pal online and we decided to make a movie together. I was in charge of everything, and she’d call me everyday asking if I had worked on it. It stressed me out so much that I developed anxiety. Later that year, I was in the car and felt totally fine but had a scary thought of “what if I get motion sickness?” I had motion sickness when I was younger and I still might I just don’t wanna test it. I started to cry and shake uncontrollably and I didn’t know why. I guess that was my first glimpse of a panic attack but I didn’t know such thing existed back then. I realized my friend was not so much of a good friend after all and decided to cut ties with her. My anxiety kinda disappeared again. I then started to develop OCD. I would constantly check her social media’s and read our old messages obsessively to the point i’d Be sad that I left her. It took me monthsss to get over that. But I eventually did. In 2014, my fears got far behind me and I was having a really good life. I don’t remember having anxiety at all much that year. It was the best year ever to this day. In early 2015 when I was 12, I started having strange, violent thoughts. I’d be sleeping with my dog and get a random “urge” to want to shove him off the bed and hurt him. The thoughts scared me so much since I love him and would never want to hurt him. I started having them more. I’d have an “urge” to kill a family member or poison them. It made me so uncomfortable and scared and I thought I had a serious problem and was going to end up a serial killer. It wasn’t until a few months later I was researching OCD and found that those thoughts are an extremely common OCD symptom and that you’d never actually act on it. I felt so much better! I found out I wasn’t a crazy person! Now I don’t even have those thoughts anymore. I was going pretty good until April 2015. I had been in an art class for about 6 months, but I’m this particular day I went, apparently a sv* was going around but I didn’t know about it. And apparently someone in my class was s* and still came in. It was a very tight class with a lot of kids and we were all sharing the same markers and pens and pencils and one girl (I believe who was the s* one) coughed with her mouth open all the time and we sat literally right next to each other that I could feel her breath on me. I didn’t have emetophobia then so I didn’t get all freaked out. Besides, I didn’t even know anyone was sick! If I did, I wouldn’t have gone. Not because I was scared but because of common sense. (This part may be a little triggering but i’ll Try not to be. Skip this part if you want.) 2 nights later, I’m asleep. I wake up around 4am with a very bad feeling. I didn’t think I was s* I just didn’t feel good. I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn’t. I had a small stomach ache, I was kinda dizzy and my head felt really gross. I was also kinda hot & cold and kept having weird dreams every time I’d start to fall asleep. Since I had anxiety in the past, I figured it was just anxiety so I googled ways to calm down and then eventually, my stomach ache went away and I fell asleep. I was extremely tired & basically fell asleep during a small panic attack which is unusual. I woke up again at 7am and I remember my first thoughts were “omg I feel even worse than I did earlier” and I rubbed my head and felt kinda hot. Idk how to describe how I felt it was just horrible. I went on my iPod and went on twitter and was watching YouTube videos to keep my mind off of whatever I was feeling. I then suddenly just g*d. I went into my moms room and told her I had been feeling bad for a while and didn’t know why. She asked me if I was nervous about anything and I said no. I told her I hoped I wasn’t sick. We were counting the days of places I’ve been to see if it was a possibility for me to be sick. And when I said “I went to my art class the other day” my mom realized that could be a possibility but didn’t wanna say anything. She said she still thought I probably wasn’t s* though. I went back to bed and watched more YouTube videos. I suddenly got reaaaaaally tired and decided to listen to calming music. I put on a song and in the song, someone made a noise that sounded like a g* and that triggered my reflex since I was already feeling it anyway. I knew v* was about to happen but I kept on keeping it from happen. I even started to feel better. So I told my mom I was feeling better and would be downstairs for breakfast soon. I got dressed like I normally would, just feeling tired but not really s*. I went downstairs and got a banana and sat on the couch next to my mom. I ate two bites and started to feel s* again. She had on a cooking show which obviously didn’t make me feel any better. I told a joke to my mom that made me start laughing hard and then my headache and pain all came back. I went from laughing to g* within seconds and then it happened. I rushed to the sink, did my thing and then that was it. I ran back to the living room and started crying like crazy and screaming “what is wrong with me???” But thankfully I didn’t get s* again but I was just super tired and drained the whole day. But we had a birthday party at my house that night since I was feeling better. Since that day, everything has changed. The very next day, I started wondering about every bodily symptom that before then I would’ve totally ignored. Just thinking of bananas sent me into panic, my mom couldn’t watch her cooking show around me and the smallest stomach pain would send me into a panic spiral. Over the summer I got really busy and my phobia got pushed aside. I still worried about it more than I ever did before but I wasn’t panicking and I could get my mind off of it pretty easily. I even got to meet my favorite band (The Vamps) that summer! Which totally distracted me from everything. It was going pretty good until October 2015. I went to Starbucks and got a pumpkin coffee, and had a strange thought of “what if I’m allergic to pumpkin?” And I started to have trouble breathing (not because a health issue, it was my anxiety - but I didn’t know that then.) I calmed down, and the day went on like normal. That night, my family came over and I was in my room singing. I got extremely hot out of nowhere, so I ripped my boots, jacket and scarf off and turned on my fan. I got even more hot. Then my lips went tingly and so did my hands and feet. Then I started getting really dizzy. I ran downstairs to my mom. I had NO idea what was happening. I cried for hours and my grandma (who also has anxiety) helped me and told me it was a panic attack and how she has had them before. They really calmed me down, and after it was over I was so thankful and was glad i’d Probably never experience another one. I was wrong. The next morning, the panic symptoms came back and I was on the verge of another one. I had a panic attack everyday for around 2-3 weeks. I was miserable, tired and my nerves never got a chance to relax because any time I was almost calm, I would panic again. At the same time, my dad lost his job, my brother had a horrible cold that I caught (I’m not even telling that story because it’s too long. I didn’t v* though!!!) and my anxiety was the worst it had ever been. Christmas that year was a total blur because I was so sleep deprived and out of it that I honestly barely remember what happened. In 2016, my anxiety got a lot better. I was still very careful and worried a lot but I wasn’t panicking all the time. I developed OCD hard core though. I couldn’t do simple tasks like cleaning my room because I would have to refill a certain article of clothing 50+ times due to my OCD. My OCD would say “if you don’t fold it like this, you’ll get s*” so I listened to it. I feel like I was dead that whole year. My hair was dry and brittle and almost coming out because I stayed in the shower so long trying to get clean and I brushed my hair super hard because my OCD told me it was the only thing to prevent s* from happening. Thanks to a lovely girl online who helped me with OCD and the help of praying, my OCD went away almost completely!! I was so happy. This was in January 2017 when I was 14. My family had a stressful year though due to family problems. But around June 2017, my anxiety and emetophobia started to pick up again and it’s been bad again ever since. I worry about food and viruses more than I ever have and I’m starting to have panic attacks again. So sadly, that’s where I am now. 15 years old atm. My life is still pretty good I guess. I don’t have controlling OCD anymore, and since I’m older I’m able to think more logically than I used to. But I’m nowhere near recovery yet. Hopefully soon! Sadly, I can’t end my story on a positive note because I have recovered yet. But for all of you out there dealing with this horrible phobia, I know what you’re going through. You’re not alone. I know what it feels like to shaky uncontrollably worrying that any second you’ll be s*. I know what fake n* feels like. I know what worrying to the point you just want to sleep feels like. I know what it feels like to want to die than rather be s*. I know what you feel like! I’ve felt it several times and it’s horrible. But we can get through this together. We are so much stronger than we think we are and we won’t let this phobia beat us. I know it can be so controlling, but we can do it. Getting s* is soooo uncommon. People rarely ever v* and if they do, it’s because they were doing something us careful people wouldn’t. We are so careful that we have way less of a chance than people who aren’t like us - and even they won’t be s*!! Don’t worry. You will be okay. Remember all the times you’ve felt this way and been scared all for nothing. Each time you have a panic attack, it makes you stronger. And remember not to google your symptoms. Google doesn’t know everything and there’s a lot of liars and people who don’t know much out there. Some people probably post things just to scare us health freaks! You’re going to be okay. And you won’t be s*. Keep telling yourself that! You’re okay and we’ll get through this, together. Stay strong my loves!❤️❤️❤️

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philanddanxreader · 7 years

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43. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me” Dan.

Hello, Love bugs!

Dan X Reader

Warnings- Smut. Also this is a really long one.

Saying you hate crowds would be considered an understatement.You could never put it into words. It's so much more than just people forgetting what personal space is. It's even more than the thought of everyone looking at you thinking you're strange. It’s an immense feeling in the pit of your stomach that tightens. It's the way you feel your breathing changing to a more shallow breath. Dan understood how you feel in crowds and has always tried his hardest to help you through any emotions you were feeling. Today was an extra stressful day as you were not only in a crowd of strangers but it was a crowd of Dan’s family.

“They will love you just as much as I love you.” That was easy for Dan to say. He wasn't the one who was meeting a bunch of new people who were for sure judging you to see if you were right for there Dan.

"What if they don't. What if your aunt thinks I'm wrong for you and tells your mum and your mum tells your grandma and then she will hate me and then I will never be able to be with you because I can't make you choose between myself and your family." Dan kisses you softly to try and get you to shut up for even just a second.

"My mum loves you. No matter what one of my aunts say. My grandmother literally asks how you are doing before she asks me about myself when she calls. Don't worry love." You nodded as you took his hand into yours.

"I'm just. Nervous." Dan smirked his usual killer smile as he kissed your knuckles.

"Good if you weren't I would be concerned." Dan placed one more quick kiss to your lips before leading you from the rented car up the driveway towards his parents home. The both of you reached the door and you were positive that you could puke right then and there.

"Hello, my loves. Daniel, I have missed you, dear." Dan's mum was so sweet. She could make anyone feel loved in an instant. Just as his mum finished hugging Dan she turned to you for your turn. " y/n! Everyone is so excited to meet you. Not to make you worry but Dan's grandmother has been bragging about how amazing you are to the whole family." You let out a nervous laugh before following her into the house. With Dan in tow as you felt that if you let go of his hand you would go into a straight panic. The moment you walked into the kitchen you felt a little less worried seeing Dan’s grandma’s face light up seeing you.

“Finally! I thought the two of you had gotten lost. You know Dan was never a very strong driver. Let alone never driving since he moved to London.” You were wrapped in a giant hug before you knew it. Dan was flushing pick at his grandma. Their relationship was so sweet.

“I drive fine. Besides Y/N drove here.” She pulled away after crushing you to move towards Dan.

“I insisted as I value my life.” She smiled as she took Dan into the same tight hug.

“Smart girl. See everyone I told you she was perfect!” It was your turn to blush as you now noticed all of the new faces that were watching this exchange. Dan noticed and quickly reached for your hand rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. The two of you were never that heavy into PDA but holding his hand always seemed to help calm you down.

After introductions to the whole family, you started to come out of your shell a bit more. Everyone was generally pretty nice. They would ask you questions like did you have a normal job, unlike Dan. You felt bad for him that most of his family didn't understand his job or really care to learn more. You explained that you did have a normal person's job and that you loved what Dan did. At one point one of his aunts called his job weird and that he wasn't going to get far after the fad dies. You were just about to defend Dan and how his job really makes his creative side shine but Dan thankfully interrupted.

“We should go get our things from the car love.” You nodded as you followed Dan out of the kitchen and back to the front entrance.

“I was about to set your aunt straight.” You put on your shoes as you continued your way to the car.

“I know and I appreciate it love but she is a lost cause. My own grandparents understand it better than she does. Anyways. They were taking up to much of your attention.” Dan had a little smirk on his face as he pulled you by the hips closer to him.

“What has gotten into you? Someone is going to see us snogging in the road.” You couldn't help but laugh at your own words.

“I love it when you talk dirty.” You tried to push away from him but didn't really succeed as Dan pulled you in for a quick kiss.

“Your family is going to be judging us from the windows.” Dan finally let you go as he opened the car to get the bags.

“Fine, you win this time.”

Later that evening you found yourself surrounded by a bunch of strangers all trying to include you in conversations about more strangers. It was all a bit overwhelming. Luckily you had Dan to your left holding your hand under the table. Just as you were wrapping up a conversation with Dan’s mum you started to overhear Dan’s conversation with his uncle. It quickly dawned on you that he was talking to Dan about hat he could have been if he stuck to school. You desperately wanted to say something but you knew Dan had come to the conclusion long ago that he could never explain his job enough to some people.Just as you were getting lost in pushing your desert around your plate you felt Dan’s breath close to your ear. The room had become quite loud from all of the mini conversations so you had to listen closely to Dan.

“Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.” You gave his right hand a tight squeeze before leaning in closer to Dan. “After this desert is finally over do you want to go to the car to get some fresh air? I could take you downtown to see the only existing thing this town has. Spoiler it’s a fountain.” You smiled as you nodded your head in excitement. It was time to get away from so many people and have some alone time with Dan. The two of you were definitely used to having Phil be the only other person in the apartment.

Here it is. The most magic place in the town. Actually, this is the place I had asked my first girlfriend to date me. Now, look at me. Still dorky, with a hot lady. The big difference is I have a lot more money and the girl was a big upgrade.” Dan took you over to the bench by the fountain.

“I have never kissed by a fountain.” Dan took your face in his hand as he pulled you closer to him.

“How about I change that.” Dan was only a centimetre away from your lips. You could feel his warm breath on your lips as he finally closed the last gap away from you. It was a sweet kiss as your noses brush against each other. It was almost a battle to see who could last longer without pulling away first. Unfortunately, it was you to pull away first. Dan smiled against your lips as he laughed a little at you.

“How is it after all of this time you haven't figured out to breath through your nose.” you hit Dan square in his chest as to make sure knew you were grumpy with him.

“It's things I haven't learned yet. Kinda like how I don't know how to open my eyes under water. Or How I don't know how to fold a fitted sheet. I have actually had lots of practice with that too. Yet here we are.” Dan placed another kiss to your lips as you sighed into the kiss.

“Should we get out of here so we don't look like teens in the park who have nowhere else to go.”

“We don't really have anywhere else to go. As we are staying at your parent's house in your old bedroom. Plus we are making out like teens in a park. What or where do you have in mind?” Dan took your hand to drag you back to the car. The two of you drove back to his parent's house singing your hearts out. After a few minutes, Dan pulled up back in front of his parent's house. The both of you sat in the silence for a little bit as the both of you were thinking the same thing of wanting to avoid more conversations with family members.

“We have two options one we fuck in the car and kill like three hours. Or we go into the house, wait for my family to leave. Go up to my childhood room and quietly try to fuck?” You rolled your eyes at him before bursting his bubble.

“First I do have to question your three hours? Are we also going to solve Rubix cubes for two hours and forty-five minutes.” You paused to look at Dan’s face because that was too sweet of a burn not to enjoy his hurt. After your sweet moment, you continued to list why his plan was terrible. “Second as fun as it would be to fuck in your bed I will not try and be quiet as to not disturb your parents. It would be fun to fuck like teens in your bed but as a grown woman I will not suck your dick while having anxiety about getting caught.” Dan nodded at your valid points but it wasn't like you fully ruled out sex in the car.

“So could we spend those fifteen minutes doing something before going back in? I can pull the car around the corner.” How could you say no to his stupid little face? Plus thinking about humping like bunnies was actually peaking your interest

“Fuck it.” Dan had a little cheer before starting up the car so you could pull around the corner to have a bit more privacy. Once around the corner you quickly realised how dark the night was as there wasn't a single street light on the block making your eyes try and adjust to the blackness. You could hear the car being turned off as you looked down to find the lock button on the doors.

“Scared pet? Haven't you ever seen porn with people fucking in cars? It always seems to work out for them just fine.” Rolling your eyes you started to take off your shoes before crawling your way to the back seat of the car.

“The last thing we need is someone coming up to the car to steal it while were getting it on back here.” Dan laughed as he ungracefully crawled into the small back seat where you were sitting.

“Now that would be a good reason why Dan’s a fail.”You were about to make a snarky remark but were quickly cut off from Dan’s lips crashing into yours. Just as Dan was pushing you up to lean on the door you made an uncomfortable squeak. Dan pulled you back instantly looking over your face trying to read it in the dark car.

“Seat belt thing was digging into my hip. Hold on.” Quickly tucking the seatbelt parts into the back of the seat you grabbed Dan by his collar to continue what was so rudely interrupted. The fight for dominance was given easily to Dan with your current position in the car. You head and part of your back was against the door as your one leg was on the seat and the other awkwardly on the floor. Dan pulled away for a second to resituate himself between your legs to try and get a bit more leverage.

“Now I know why older people don't fuck in the car. It’s incredibly uncomfortable so if it's possible to fuck anywhere else you take it.” Dan laughed into your lips as he continued to pepper kisses to the already slightly swollen skin.

“I never had a car when I was younger and my girlfriend took the bus everywhere. I guess you’re taking my car sex virginity. How exciting.” He was always in a teasing mood even when he was trying to get with you.

“I have never fucked in a car. I have done other things but never fucked. If we're being honest I'm already hot and not in a fun way. Would it be possible to give you a little road head and maybe continue the other play another time?Like tomorrow when we go back home.” Dan weighed his options as the both of you sat in the already steamy car.

“I would feel bad to get some sort of release and leave you hanging.” You patted Dan’s face sweetly as you tilted your head to the side to look at him.

“Don’t worry about me, baby. I know you will make it up to me in some way tomorrow. Plus I know how bad you have wanted this since we had to cut our morning short because we had to leave.” Dan was feeling rather needy from the lack of play this morning.

“Ok, I'm desperate. Love would you please suck my cock. Nothing would make me happier right now. It may release some stress.” You couldn't help crack a smile at his desperate need.

“Fine. Only because I love you and your pretty cock.” You felt a little blush rush to your cheeks even though you were usually this straightforward with Dan. Thankfully he wouldn't be able to see the pink on your cheeks from the darkness so you continued you way over to Dan as you knelt on your knees so you were mere inches from his already hardening member. You didn't pause for very long before reaching to undo Dan’s jeans that were somehow even tighter with his member pushing against his pants. Managing to undo the button and zipper Dan’s cock sprang free from his jeans giving you a bit of a shock.

“Where are your underwear?” You had pulled back a bit so you could try and read the expression on his face.

“Well to be honest I knew at some point today we were going to be fooling around and I wanted to make it as easy as possible.”

“Cocky. Aren't we?” Quickly realising the accidental pun the both of you shared a quick laugh before both of your focuses were turned to a more pressing matter, Dan’s hand had snuck its way up to pull your face closer to his making you vulnerable to his lips over yours. As much fun as it was to kiss Dan you did want to please him so as you broke the kiss you moved your hand over the tip of his cock brushing the precum over his shaft down to the base. You continued to do these long strokes as Dan let his guard down by releasing a low moan from the lips you were kissing mere seconds ago.

“Please.” That was it all took for you to continue your way to kitten licking him from his base upwards to the tip. Wrapping your lips around him you make sure to hollow your cheeks as to try and get as much of him in your mouth as possible. You were going slow as to try and not hit your gag reflex but in taking the time you were accidently causing Dan to be teased to the point where his hips bucked on their own causing you to gag slightly. You pulled off of dan giving him a smirk as he looked down at you apologetically. It was a silent conversation as you rolled your eyes before setting back to the duty ahead. Regaining your composure you started again mostly focusing on the sensitive tip sucking and pressing your tongue on him as you pop him in and out of your warm mouth. Just as you were about to try and really suck on Dan again you felt his hand in your hair tugging slightly letting you know not to stop what you were doing. You took the hint as you continued on. Pumping the rest of him with one of your hands as the other played with his balls just a little. Dan was still letting out little whimpers in pleasure before finding his voice.

“What a pretty girl sucking my cock. Do you like my big cock in your mouth?” You decided to answer him with a slight squeeze oh his balls a little harder. It took Dan everything not to buck into your mouth again. “Oh, you dirty little girl. D you want my cum in your mouth?” You replied with a moan making the vibrations flow through Dan. The car was filled with the sounds of Dans moans and the sound of you sucking on Dan begging for his release. You loved when you could pleasure Dan making him orgasm for and because of you.

“I'm going to cum love.Do you want me to cum in this pretty little mouth?” You didn't have much time to respond as you felt Dan’s cock throb in your mouth before letting his orgasm rush over him. After a few thrusts, you pulled away from Dan as you swallowed all oh his hot cum.

“That’s my girl/ You look so pretty with my cum on your chin.” Dan took his finger wiping the cum from your face before brushing it off on his pants that were still only around his thighs.

“Did I do good?” Dan laughed as he pulled you into a kiss.

“You did fantastically well.”

#danisnotonfire smut #dan x reader #dan howell #dan howell x reader #danisnotonfire x reader #dan howell smut #dan x reader smut #dan howell x reader smut

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broncasaurus · 7 years

Text

Tag of Basic Information W O W

i’ve been released from college like a bat out of hell but it was actually great i love college highly recommend sooooo now i have time for things like tumblr again y a y

thank you @sugasweetsubs for tagging me and bring me back to the kpop fold ~

ABC tag

AGE – 19 i can’t believe i turn 20 this winter HO L Y

BIGGEST FEAR – Not feeling fulfilled? Also spiders.

CURRENT TIME – 3:45 PM

DRINK YOU LAST HAD – Peach tea

EVERYDAY STARTS WITH – Coffee? An alarm? Physically getting up?

FAVORITE SONG – SO MANY I really like True Romance by Citizens! from The Beauty Inside ost, which is a great movie on Netflix btw. It’s a really funky and upbeat song, great for summer. Bop material.

GHOSTS, ARE THEY REAL? – My Mom says yes, I say maybe.

HOMETOWN – A bathtub

IN LOVE WITH – Ooh so many things. Life is pretty great recently so i guess i love life. Aw.

JEALOUS OF – People who don’t procrastinate and can easily answer phones.

KILLED SOMEONE – P sure it’s a solid nope

LAST TIME YOU CRIED – when i watched this

MIDDLE NAME – Clarice

NO. OF SIBLINGS – uno

ONE WISH – not having to worry about money would be gr8 pls and thank universe

PERSON I LAST CALLED/TEXTED – A group chat of my friends/roommates

QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED – Do you dye your hair?

REASON TO SMILE – sunshine through a window, lee seokmin, rain and cloudy/overcast days, large bodies of water, coffee, strong woman do bong soon, flavored specialty coffee, autumn and brightly colored leaves and crisp mornings, sand between your toes, green leafy trees, the entirety of bangtan sonyeondan, friends, soft pillows, that feeling of bare legs in a comfortable bed, big cozy sweaters, astro comeback happening soon, books and especially books that have been so loved they feel soft in your hands. There’s a lot.

SONG LAST SANG – Journey to the Past from the new Anastasia musical! It’s such a great song and Christy Altomare has such passion in her performance and ugh childhood. Eagerly awaiting the cast recording to pop up...

TIME YOU WOKE UP – 9 AM

UNDERWEAR – grandma-esque

VACATION DESTINATION? – I recently went to Miguel’s campground in Kentucky and that was awesome, I’d like to go back sometime with my friends.

WORST HABIT – Forgetting things? My roll my eyes a lot too when they feel uncomfortable but people misinterpret it a lot.

YOUR FAVORITE FOOD – I love pasta in all forms except spaghetti.

ZODIAC – SAGITTARIUS YOOOOOO

BOLD tag

→ appearance:

 I I am 5′7″ or taller  I I wear glasses  I have at least one tattoo  i have at least one piercing  i have brown eyes kinda? there’s green too idk it’s confusing  i have short hair  my abs are at least somewhat defined  i have or have had braces  There is something I would change about the way I look

→ personality:

 I My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Slytherin  I am an introvert  i like/love meeting new people  people tell me that i’m funny i think they’re being nice but i appreciate it none the less  helping others with their problems is a big priority for me  i enjoy physical challenges  i enjoy mental challenges  i’m playfully rude with people i know well  i started saying something ironically and now i can’t stop saying it  There is something I would change about my personality

→ ability:

 I I can sing well  i can play an instrument  i can do over 30 pushups without stopping  i’m a fast runner  i can draw well  i have a good memory i remember really useless things  I’m good at doing math in my head  i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute  i have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling  i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch  i know how to throw a proper punch eliott taught me to kept my thumb on the outside so it doesn’t break in 4th grade and that’s all i know

→ hobbies:

 I i enjoy playing sports I LOVE FRISBEE SO MUCH i have fantastic hand-eye coordination i’m really good at catching things lol  i’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else  I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else  i have learned a new song in the past week  i work out at least once a week  i’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months  i have drawn something in the past month  i enjoy writing  Fandoms are my #1 passion  i do or have done martial arts

→ experiences:

 I i have had my first kiss  i have had alcohol  i have scored the winning goal in a sports game  I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting  i have been at an overnight event  i have been in a taxi  I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year i took all of my roommates/suitmates, but i myself wasn’t admitted.  I have beaten a video game in one day  i have visited another country  i have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

→ relationship:

 I I’m in a relationship  i have a celebrity crush this entire blog is pretty much evidence  I have a crush on someone I know  i have been in at least 3 relationships  I have never been in a relationship  i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them  I get crushes easily i get infatuated real quick but i wouldn’t say it’s the same as a crush. A crush is more meaningful i think  I have had a crush on someone for over a year  I have been in a relationship for at least a year  i have had feelings for a friend isn’t that how most crushes start?

→ my life:

 I i have at least one person i consider a “best friend”  i live close to my school  my parents are still together  i have at least one sibling  i live in the united states  There is snow right now where I live  i have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month  i have a smartphone  I have at least 15 CDs  I share my room with someone

→ random shit:

 I i have breakdanced  i know a person named jamie HEY GIRL I LOVE YOU YOU LIL VIRGO DEMON<3  I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce  i have dyed my hair  i’m listening to one song on repeat right now  i have punched someone in the past week  i know someone who has gone to jail college dude  I have broken a bone  I have eaten a waffle today  i know what i want to do with my life  i speak at least 2 languages fluently  i have made a new friend in the past year

I’ll tag @labelleangel, @melusthings, and @flowerboysruinme also anyone else who wants to! Tags r fun! Talk about urself! <33

#em's life shit in the library #tag #woooooo yay enjoy this useless information about myself

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