i don't think transandrophobia is motivated by a passionate hatred for trans men, especially not the kind we see in queer/feminists spaces. i just think our existence disturbs the foundations of radical feminist framework (i.e. patriarchy defined as class warfare of all men against all women) a bit too much. within this paradigm, "woman" is the exact synonym for "marginalised gender" and thus "men being oppressed by patriarchy" sounds heretical.
therefore not only transandrophobia doesn't and most importantly shouldn't exist.
so, it's easier to come to the conclusion that trans men are the collateral damages of "something else" (cf general transphobia, misdirected misogyny etc) and you cannot expect more from TIRFs and all the people who will never question the core tenets of their feminism
a change of paradigm is imperative because you'll never achieve "trans liberation" if you need to actively ignore roughly one half of the trans community (if you don't care about trans liberation that's a whole other issue lol)
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can't believe the globe just took a real living teenage girl who was murdered by the English state for her nonconformity (being a 'witch' and wearing men's clothes to avoid being raped)...
a woman who spoke French so could not use a gender neutral third person pronoun even if she wanted to (which she didn't)...
a woman who is sacred to millions across the world, including many Catholic women who have few other role models...
a woman who was a powerful figurehead for early feminist movements as a symbol of female militancy.....
and some worm has decided that because she wore trousers (to play a leadership role in war against another state, the state that killed her, and, again, to avoid being raped)... because she had short hair... she couldn't be a woman???
The fucking gall! The absolute bare faced misogyny!
Giving her weird fetishised sex dysphoria or whatever with the horrific poster of her bound breasts as if her real suffering caused by extreme male supremacy in her society and in England were not compelling enough!
And people lap it up, saying that this is a sign of progress or that gender bending characters is good... as if the globe didn't ban women from it's stage for decades. As if taking a female historical figure and saying she was actually nonbinary is just the same as taking a male role from a male dominated play and having a woman play Hamlet... disgraceful
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i love girls and women so much. the women in my life bring me so much joy and happiness that i can’t even put into words. i find them so beautiful in every way. the female relationships in my life are what keep me alive, there is so much pure genuine love between women and it gives me so much hope to know that such love still exists. there is nothing more comforting to me than to be held in the arms of a woman whether it be my mother or my sister or my friend or a girlfriend. we can talk for hours without stopping or we can sit in complete silence and i will feel content just from their presence alone. we can talk about anything (no matter how embarrassing) and there is never a feeling of judgement. we are all so different yet the same at the same time and it’s beautiful. i feel bad for the women who hate other women, i don’t understand how any woman could be happy centring men in their lives who don’t care about them at all. i have so much genuine love for every kind of woman or girl that it almost feels like it’s consuming my heart 🤍
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In my time on this site, I have often seen radical feminists (of the trans-exclusionary persuasion) complain about trans women presenting themselves in ways that enforce caricatures and stereotypes of women and femininity.
My response to this, however, is: why is the full blame for this being placed on said trans women instead of on the patriarchal systems that skew everyone’s perception of what it means to be a woman?
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here's the thing. and i'll use trans speak for this. afab ppl's connection to their afab-typical bodies, with bio breasts and bio vaginas, will never be the same connection as the one transfems have with their hrt breasts and surgical vaginas.
this is a neutral statement, one isn't better than the other to me. so hold on, i just wanna explain
people who grow up without seeing people like them, who have their body type, get breasts and be oppressed for it, and who in turn grow breasts in puberty, those afab people have a relationship w their bodies that amab people simply do not have. a transfem person is excited for breasts, even a trans teen told "omg kid you get to go on hormones and grow those too someday!!" does NOT have an afab experience w breasts (or vaginas, with bottom surgery). afab feelings about their growth of breasts are complex as fuck since childhood as a thing you just cannot escape, at times excitement but also usually involves fear, fear of men, fear of this random growth that "makes you a woman" (and you've been told since a young age by society that women are bad, weaker, dumber, and have gross or usable bodies) and the fear of having seen older people with breasts be treated like garbage all around you... it can make afab puberty traumatic, while transfem hormone puberty is a celebration and seen as a miracle, beside some nervousness. same with how transfems view their surgical vaginas vs how afab people do, it's radically different. this is why transfem ppl will never truly understand afab experiences. and the reverse, of course, is true as well.
the way afab ppl's eyes view breasts is simply different. for amab people growing up breasts are exotic, unusual, something their natural puberty will not include, and they're often encouraged to fetishize and sexualize them by fellow amabs, including creepy grown amab ppl (usually, but not always, cis men) making misogynistic jokes about afab bodies to young cis boys & young transfems. transfems were in the not-afab camp, and knew they were safe from that bullshit, even if they sympathized with or even wanted to join the afab camp or were bullied for being afab-like
even if they later transition to get boobs as well, and eventually normalize their view of it, it doesn't change that breasts will always be a foreign thing on an amab body, an addition, and i say this neutrally, not to say that amab breasts are lesser. that's just a totally different relationship than the one afab women and afab ppl as a whole have (or have had) with their breasts, and their vaginas too, with unique oppression linked to periods and potential impregnation and pregnancy and all these crazy things afab bodies do that amab ppl, transfem included, will never truly understand. most transfems also haven't had bottom surgery statistically speaking, and with that comes the ability to penetrate with genital pleasure (unlike afab ppl who can only penetrate w fingers and objects, and transmasc bottom surgery afaik isn't the same) and often ability to impregnate. those are risks! risks that afab ppl grew up fearing! most transfems aren't creeps, but they have abilities to do so that afab ppl simply do not have, we should keep that in mind!
and that is why amab people being in any afab spaces where nudity is involved, even partially such as bathrooms, will always be an uncomfortable situation for many if not most afab women, and often transmasc people too, and some post-op transfemmes as well who do not have a penis anymore and relate more to afab struggles. and even if turns out everybody can coexist in the end in nudity rooms, afab worries matter! afab ppl should not be shut down the way they are right now. it should be a nuanced issue
yet instead of respectful discussions talking about compromises afab people are all told to change our conditioning, to totally ignore amab conditioning, to act like transfems are exactly and have always been exactly like afab people and there's no particular risks or power imbalance. and we're threatened w the label of bigot and being shunned and lose all our friends if we still have concerns. not even outright refusal or hatred, just worries and questions and requests!! but nope, that's being bigoted terfy bitches, or naggy theyfabs, just bc we're not accepting right away (DESPITE GENDER NEUTRAL ROOMS BEING AN OPTION AFAB PPL HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OPEN TO) that is seen as just as bad as racism and ableism and afabmisogyny, if not worse. usually worse. bc transmisogyny is always seen as WAYYY worse than the kind only afab ppl face, to the point where afab ppl don't even need to be seen as a uniquely oppressed class nor allowed to have their own boundaries. it's ridiculous
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