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aaliyah-babe · 3 years

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The One With The Butt: Part One

pairings: eventual joey x reader, jamie x reader

authors note: i own nothing from friends, all credit goes to their respective owners. feedback is always appreciated!

feedback is the glue that holds my writing together!

you guys had gotten invited to the play that joey was in, you were sat next to pheobe on the end,

“oh look! look, there’s joeys picture! this is so exciting!” rachel squealed, showing you all joeys picture.

“you can always spot who’s never seen one of his plays before, notice no fear, no sense of impending doom...” chandler trailed off,

“the exclamation point in the titles scares me. you know, it’s not just freud, it’s freud!” pheobe exclaims, and you giggle at her.

the lights went down as you readied yourself for joeys plays, they weren’t all bad, but they weren’t all good, don’t get yourself wrong he was a good actor, he just chose the wrong stuff to act in.

“shh. the magic is about to happen!” ross shushed everyone

“well, eva,” you heard joey say with a german accent and you sighed, knowing it was gonna be another bust. “we’ve done some excellent work here,”

you looked at pheobe and she gave you the same look before you started giggling quietly, and ross gave you a warning look which made you stop.

“and i would have to say your problem is quite clear,” joey said before stopping. a piano intro started playing before joey got up from his seat and began singing, “all you want is a dinkle, what you envy’s a schwang! a thing through which you can tinkle, or play with or simply let hang,”

you looked at ross before whispering, “now can we laugh,” and he started chuckling aswell.

the play went on for what felt like hours, you had looked through the cast around five times, pheobe nudging you to look at joeys dancing and singing at times which made you both laugh quietly, before the show was finished.

everybody on the stage took a bow before you all got up and started clapping, yelling at the cast,

“yes! excellent!”

they walked off the stage as you all groaned, sitting back down,

“oh my god, that was nauseating,” you sighed into pheobes shoulder,

“i feel violated,” rachel agreed,

“did anybody else feel like they wanted to peel the skin off their body to have something else to do?” monica asked,

“ross, 10:00,” chandler nudged ross,

“i’d it? feels like 2:00,” ross groaned,

“no, 10:00,”

“what?”

“there’s a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 10:00!” chandler sighed which made you all look in his direction and see a very beautiful woman touching up her lipstick.

“wow she is pretty,” you agreed with chandler,

“she’s amazing! she makes the women i dream about look like short, fat, bald men,”

“well, go over to her. she’s not with anyone,” monica said to him,

“oh yeah, right. and what would my opening line be? “excuse me..” chandler said before blubbering words,

“oh come on! she’s a person, you can do it,” rachel encouraged,

“oh please could she be more out of my league? ross back me up here,” chandler patted ross on the back,

“he could never get a woman like that in a million years,” ross agreed,

“thank you,”

“oh, oh! but you know you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys!” pheobe encouraged him,

“oh yeah! come on chandler, do it!” you told him.

“you think?” he asked you all,

“oh yeah!”

“oh, god. i cant believe i’m even considering this. i’m very, very aware of my tongue,”

“come on!”

“here it goes,” chandler walked away and started talking to the woman,

he started saying a few things before he started walking back over,

“chandler?” the woman asked, making him go back over,

“wow, go chandler,” you nudged monica.

joey walked out and you all said hey.

“i didn’t know you could dance!” ross said,

everybody else said stuff to him about the play,

“was it good?” he asked, hopeful. your heart hurt for the boy.

everybody was silent before they all said the same things they did before.

“come on you guys, it wasn’t that bad, i was the lead! it was better than that thing with the trolls!” he argues,

“you’re right joey, you are, come here,” you hugged him,

“did you at least like it?” he asked, still hopeful,

“i’m not gonna lie to you joe. it wasn’t the best play,” his face fell, “but! you’re a good actor i just think your always going for the wrong roles!” you said and he smiled a little,

“thanks y/n/n,” he hugged you again, before letting you go not completely and just let his arm drape around your shoulder.

“she said yes! she said yes!” chandler ran over before turning to joey, “awful play man! woah!”

you rubbed joeys back, feeling bad for him a little.

“her names aurora and she’s italian and she pronounces my name “chand-ler,” “chand-ler,” he was proud of himself you could see, “i think i like it better that way- oh listen! the usher gave me this to give to you.” he gave joey a card.

“what is it?” rachel asked,

joey read the card as his face lit up, “estelle leonard talent agency, an agency left me its card!” he smiled,

“told you,” you whispered to him and he smiled at you.

“maybe they want to sign me!” he smiled happily,

“based on this play?” pheobe asked and joey frowned, “based on this play!”

you guys were hanging out at the coffee house and jamie had joined you, and once again joey distanced himself from you and him. what the hell was his problem? it pissed you off that your bestfriend clearly didn’t like your boyfriend and didn’t even try to hide it!

“hey, kids,” chandler walked in, after his date with aurora.

“hey, chandler,” jamie said to him,

“well this line is passion, and this is just a line,” phoebe read monica’s hand,

“wow i can’t believe i’ve been here seven seconds and you haven’t asked me about my date,” chandler said,

“how was your date chandler?” everybody asked,

“yeah, chand-ler?” monica said, making you smile.

“it was unbelievable! i’ve never met anyone like her. she’s had the most amazing life! she was in the israeli army...”

“luckily, none of the bullets hit the engine block. so, we made it to the border. but just barely and i... i’ve been talking about myself all night long, i’m sorry. what about you? tell me one of your stories!” aurora said to chandler, who smiled at the woman in front of him.

“alright, once.... once, i got on the subway, right? and it was at night and i rode it all the way to brooklyn, just for the hell of it,” he said which made aurora laugh and he smiled again,

“we talked till like 2:00,” chandler said, “it was this perfect evening... more or less,”

“all of the sudden we realise we’re in yemen!” aurora exclaims,

“i’m sorry we is?” chandler asked,

“we would be me and rick,” she answered,

“who’s rick?” joey asked,

“who’s rick?” chandler asked her,

“my husband,” she answered.

“ew,” everyone groaned for chandler,

“oh, so your divorced?” chandler asked,

“no,” she said,

“oh, i’m- i’m sorry your widowed... hopefully?” he asked again,

“no, i’m still married.”

“so uh, tell me. how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me, sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?”

“don’t worry. i imagine he’d be okay with you because really with ethan,” she giggled,

“ethan? there’s an ethan?” chandler asked,

“ethan is my... boyfriend,” she answered

“what?!” everyone exclaimed.

“explain something to me. what kind of relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?” chandler asked,

“i suppose, mainly sexual,” she offers.

“huh,”

“aw, i’m sorry it didn’t work out,” monica apologised,

“what not work out? i’m seeing her again on thursday,” everyone looked at him confused, “didn’t you listen to the story?”

“didn’t you listen to the story?” you asked,

“yeah, this is twisted! how could you get involved with a woman like this?” monica asked,

“i had some trouble with it at first too, but the way i look at it, i get all of the good stuff, all the fun, all the talking, all the sex and none of the responsibility! i mean this is every guys fantasy,”

“that is not true,” phoebe said, “ross, jamie, is this your fantasy?”

“no,” they both said,

you smiled at your boyfriend before kissing his cheek, he looked at ross before they both nodded their heads, “yeah, it is,”

you glared at jamie.

“maybe somebody shouldn’t be with somebody then,” joey muttered but you heard him anyways, what is his deal? you were so going to talk to him after this.

“so you guys don’t mind going out with someone else, who’s going out with someone else?” monica asks.

“i couldn’t do it,” joey says,

“good for you, joe,” pheobe says to him,

“when i’m with a woman, i need to know that i’m going out with more people than she is,” that made you sigh,

“well, you know monogamy can be a tricky concept. i mean anthropologically speaking...” everybody pretended to sleep and fake snore as ross bored everyone,

“fine, fine. now you’ll never know,” he sighs,

“we’re kidding, go! tell us,” monica says,

“all right, there’s a theory put forth by richard leakey...” and there goes everybody snoring again,

let me know if you want to be mentioned in future taglists!

taglist: @zestygingergirl

#chandler bing #friends #friends series #joey tribbiani #monica geller #pheobe buffay #rachel green #ross geller #x reader #funny

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cutegirlmayra · 3 years

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I love your jealous Sonic and I think the most canon one is boom, so may I ask for Boom!Sonamy with jealous Sonic? If you need a more specific idea maybe Amy gets a pet like a puppy that takes up all her attention so Sonic feels left out and in competition and feels the dog doesn't like him and doesn't want to share Amy.

You can find me talking about this prompt at 21:16 on the Pajama Blogs!

Hehe, jealous Sonic, it would be more canon in Boom, you’re right. I agree and share your opinions lolol but I think this would be cute and I hope I do it justice!

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN! Sorry, you missed the grand opening and will have to wait till next time :( You can still ask questions though! But they need to be in accordance to the blog rules~<3

Prompt:

Comedy Chimp was in a hysteria of panic, the news had just announced the most popular celebrity pet: Tinkle Dipples, to be housed in Hedgehog Village while preparing to shoot a cameo in the famous Tommy Thunder movies.

Eggman and Amy compete in a tournament/competition to win the right to take care of Tinkle Dipples for the shooting, since his manager is going fangirl over Tommy Thunder, she doesn’t want to care for him and instead, has Amy--the winner of the tournament--sign some legal documents and take off to pursue her hero.

Sympathizing a bit with the manager but more excited about the cute, idol puppy, Amy takes her job very seriously as Eggman whines and complains about his loss and plans to do something about it..!

“I knew I should have played Dynamite Dalmatian but she had Rover Clover on the field, you can’t EXPLODE ROLL WITH MAXIUM LUCK ON YOUR OPPONENTS TEAM!” he wept and tossed his arms about as they wacked against his bed.

Orbot and Cubot just looked to each other, unsure how to comfort him. “Sir, perhaps scheming against Sonic and his friends while one of their prominent members is distracted could prove useful and make you feel better?” Orbot stated, as the two held up a pen and some graph paper, “Scheming always puts you in a better mood for evil...” He encouraged again.

Collecting himself and rubbing his massive hands under his glasses, he sniffled as he took the paper and started sketching. “Ohh...hoo... hoo...oh-ho? Oh ho! Oh-ho-ho-ho-wha-hahaha!!!” with soft cries that suddenly turned manic with evil, he scribbled more furiously and immediately cranked his back and threw his arms to an angle in his signature laughter.

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were playing beachball when Sticks poked her head out of the local garage dump, “Heeeey, wait a minute!” she threw a banana peel off her head a second, “Volleyball and Beachball are the same things! Why are they called differently!? Do they respond to the same name!?”

“Guess you could call it Beach Volleyball.” Tails shrugged, “Though, technically, beachball is the thing you use to play volleyball...” As he continued, Knuckles spiked and knocked him down while he was contemplating it.

“Haha! Snooze you loose!” Knuckles mocked, throwing his arms down to point at Tails.

“Grr... Knuckles! We’re on the same team!” He spat out sand and dusted himself off.

“Oh.” Knuckles then gestured to himself, “Well, then I was awake and quaked!”

Tails shook his head, “Sonic, do you have to play on your own team?”

“What? I’m fast enough for two!” Showing off his amazing speed, Sonic zipped around the court to where it looked like Sonic was literally playing by himself, “I could even play all teams!” He snatched the ball from the ground and pushed--or lightly placed--Knuckles and Tails out of the field to then play the game by himself.

“Still seems a bit unfair, though.” Tails pouted, folding his arms.

“No, no. Shh!!! I wanna see which team wins!” Knuckles became excited, “Woo! Go, Left field Sonic! Ah! No! Watch out, Right field Sonic! Nooo..!!! Oh, phew... Wait-Sonic!” Knuckles went through typical spectators reactions, gripping his head, tugging on his hair, before cheering yet again, “Yeeeahhh! Good forward arm there, Left field Sonic! Rooted for your along! ... Hey, which one’s Sonic again?” he looked to Tails.

“At least you got the fields right.” Tails side-commented before stepping back up to Sonic. “Is this because Amy wouldn’t come down to the beach today?”

“Yeah, we can’t help it if I’m too good for the two of ya.” He twirled the ball on his finger, “Besides, Amy can’t--and won’t--part with that Tinkle... Dinkle... Winkle... whatever his name is!” Sonic fanned a hand out, masking his own opinions on it. “Amy’s obsessed with that thing...”

“Huh, I always thought Amy was obsessed with y-” Tails seemed to panic and jumped up to cover Knuckles’s mouth.

“Knuckles-!” he cried out, then lowered his voice to whisper down to him, clinging to his head and shoulder. “We’re supposed to pretend we don’t know anything about that...”

“Anything about what now?” Sonic was still doing tricks with the volleyball.

“N-nothing!” Tails waved his hands out and flew a moment in the air. “An-anyway, I don’t think I’m really in the mood to keep playing. I’ve got uh... some... some engineering stuff to work on! Bye, Sonic!” He waved and took off.

“Engine-erring!?” Sticks spat out a flat tire that had been thrown away that she was gnawing on to find the trapped gerbil that she believed made the car’s wheels turn and free it from it’s imprisonment at last. “Oh no, you don’t!” she jumped out and rushed after him, barking as he flew up and in a bit of surprised fright, tried to dodge her but she jumped and grabbed his foot. “You aren’t making nothing to torture these gerbils anymore!”

“W-wha-what are you talking about!? Le-let goooo!!!” The two flew off and seemed to crash somewhere.

“I-uh... better check on that.” Knuckles saw Sonic offering to share the ball with him but decided to check on his friends first. “Sticks! Wait! I’m sure that nice village of Gogobas are still safely in their pity parties!”

Sonic sighed, “Oooh...” And let the ball go to kick it, letting it roll as a Eggman spybot was hit out of a bush and flew up.

“Guess I’ll check on Amy then...” Sonic took off towards her house.

“Hehehe-huhuhu...” Eggman rubbed his hands together, sitting happily in front of his screen in his evil lair. “There we go... I’ll snatch Mr. Tinkle Dipples the second Amy’s distracted by Sonic!” He roared confidently in laughter. “My machine is almost complete! Orbot! Cubot!”

“Yes, Doctor?!” Cubot nervously saluted as Eggman turned around to face the two in his spinning chair.

“Make sure my robot pooch is fully operational!”

“Yes, doctor!” The two took off...

Sonic raced to the door, but before knocking, looked himself over in the reflection of a window and adjusted his quills, then tightened his bandana. He choked, loosening the bandana again and grumbling to himself something but the only audible line one could hear was--”Never learned to tie a tie...” before rushing back to door and knocking this time.

“Busy!” Amy cried from within.

His entire confident air deflated, and he drooped forward with his arms hanging down, “Oooh... Uh, it’s me! Sonic! ... Sonic The Hedgehog!” He puffed himself up just a little bit more, calling and leaning more towards the door. “Hero extraordinary! ... So much better than a puppy...” He folded his arms and mumbled the last bit to himself.

“Oh-oh... C-coming!” Amy seemed to scramble but Sonic could hear multiple layers of locks, chairs, wooden-door stoppers and more start being cleared away like a construction site. She peeked open the door, “Come in!” she chimed, “Quickly, quickly, quickly..!” She then rushed him in and put one single lock back on the door. “Eh, I’ll take of that later.”

“Woah, what’s with the, uh... high-end security arrangement, Ames?” Sonic thumbed-back to the door but Amy rushed over to a stool with a soft pillow on it, making the little puppy look like royalty as his tongue hung out and he drooled.

His eyes grew intensely large like in anime and shined, trying to such Sonic into his cuteness as Sonic felt the pull but leaned away.

It shone with heavenly aura as it’s eyes kept growing bigger but Sonic about-faced and turned to Amy, “Uhh... How’s the pooch-sitting coming along-” he was surprised to see she was completely captivated by the puppy and already squatting by the stool, gawking and taking pictures as her own eyes looked bigger than normal.

“Aww, cute puppy! Sweet boy! Look over hereee~” she cooed and coddled as it continued to pant, it’s eyes normal to Sonic now. “Who’s the cutest, wutest, sweetest, squishiest cheek boy ever?~” she then scrunched up his cheeks and played with them as they jiggled and wobbled to her touch, spraying drool everywhere...

“Oh.” He realized he was being ignored. “Alright, no worries, just the most dashing man of the hour in your house... No need to over-celebrate.” He frowned and pushed his arms straight down again. “Dumb dog.” he muttered under his breath.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!?” Amy’s big, sparkling eyes went right into his face, as though a brainwashed-slave to this puppy as he shook his head in intimidation at her creepy smile.

“N-no-nothing! Just how cute the puppy iswh! Is-!” he almost mimicked Amy’s baby-talk on accident. “Ehem, Amy, I normally would never do this under typical and honorable circumstances but in this case-” He shoved her hands to his cheeks, “I think you see my point.” he beamed.

“...Uh, I guess?” Amy took her hands off his cheeks, “You hungry or something?”

He deflated yet again, his eyes just saucers of white. “N... No.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“...Yes.” He shrugged down, and as she went to the kitchen, he glared and clenched his jaw at the puppy. He zipped over to it, “Listen you, I don’t know what fame has done to your head or anything, but I’m not here to stand for your pompous treatment of my friend!”

The dog continued to drool, one eye blinking.

“But I’ll have you know that I’m the big shot in these parts! And Amy just happens to be madly in love with me!” He pointed to himself and then picked up the constantly panting dog. “Not you. So you can wag your little tail and stick out your tongue somewhere else!” He dashed to one of Amy’s bird cages and shoved the dog in, causing a minor yelp from it but it wasn’t hurt, just surprised as Sonic tarped it and headed back to Amy.

Sitting at the counter, he then crossed his legs, “So-ho-ho~ Amy~ Have I told you about the one time I-”

“Yep.” Amy continued to work on the food.

“I-I didn’t even say it.” Sonic squinted his eyes in suspicion at her.

“Uh-huh.”

“...Are you even listening to me?”

“All done!” she poured something into a bowl.

“Awesome! You’re cooking, might I say, is way better than Meh Burger when it comes to the ol’Sonic engine!” he rubbed his stomach and licked his chops before Amy swiped the bowl away from him as he went to bite down. “H-huh..? What just happened...” he spoke with his mouth open, mid-bite again, before he saw the puppy had mysteriously wound-up on the pillow stool again, Amy bringing the deluxe dog food over to him.

“Here you go, Mr. Tinkle Dinkles~ Yes, who’s hungry? Who’s the biggest star in Hedgehog Village and the world? And the whole wide wittle world? You are~ You are, you good boy~” she petted him as he leaned his head back, thumped his leg at her praise and loving scratches, and then flopped over her lap to gorge himself in her home-prepared dog food.

Sonic leaned against the couch, narrowing his eyes at the sight as he muttered more curses for the dog under his breath...

He had a thought bubble that then showed a chibi-version of Amy and the pooch, her scratching his belly and loving on him but the dog faded and a Chibi-Sonic replaced it. Snickering and cackling as Chibi-Amy continued her smothering but the Dog was now whining with it’s tail between it’s legs, trapped in a Meh Burger costume with a sign that read: ‘Will pee for attention’.

Sonic continued to snicker to himself before the doorbell rang again.

“Oh?” Amy lightly placed the dog back on his stool and used a finely made napkin with ‘Fuzzy Puppy Buddies’ logo on it to clean up his mouth before heading to the door. “Who could that be?”

While Amy was distracted, Sonic sped over to the dog, grabbed it, pulled back the window and tossed the dog with a under-handed swing out the window. It hung in the air a moment before going, “Oof?” like a little woof and fell straight down...

Into Eggman’s hands...

“Hehehe, hohoho..!” Eggman placed a mechanical dog down, doing the exact animations as the dumb little creature in the first place. “Now you’re coming with daddy sweetie~ Who’s a big, bright, beautiful star? You are~ You are Mr. Tinkle Dipples~ Uncle Eggy has a nice place set up just for you~” he wiggled his finger to the puppy and continued to adore it secretly while sneaking away.

“I’m gonna miss Metal Pooch.” Cubot wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Such beautiful destruction he caused...”

“Yeah... The steel heart mends, Cubot. Give it time to rust.” Orbot patted Cubot and helped turn him away from the sight.

When Amy closed the door again, she turned around with a shriek, panicking and tearing her house up looking for the dog. Sonic tried everything to get her to turn her attention to him, even momentarily throwing away his pride and setting up a floor-lounge with candle-lit setting with a rose in and across his mouth,... but she was too busy searching to see.

He spat out the rose and it hit her on the back of her head, “Ah! Sonic! We don’t have time for-...” Her eyes shrunk at the scene, and it might have been enough as their eyes met and romantic music started playing as he lifted up his foot and clicked a radio with his heel.

“Who’s a good boy..?” he flirted, but suddenly...

“BARK. BARK. I AM BARKING LIKE A CUTE, WITTLE BOY. BARK. BARK.”

“Oh my stars!” Amy raced to the window, “Mr. Tinkle Dipples!? What are you doing out here?” she had big, anime eyes again... as though love was blinding her from seeing the fakeness of the dog.

She cradled it in her arms after reaching down the window to get it.

“BARK. BARK. I AM THE GOODEST OF BOYS.” It’s robot voice was a dead giveaway, but Sonic was amazed to see that Amy kept caring for it, spoon-feeding it as it took the food but lifted its tail to dispel it out the other end.

“Ohh~ Did Tinkle Dipples make a wittle present-mess-le?” Amy put her hands to her hips as Sonic couldn’t take it anymore.

“HE’S A ROBOT!” He spindashed the Eggman robot as it powered down.

“Ohh... Goodest of b-b-boys...” and shut down.

“NNNOOOO!!!” Amy freaked out, crying and holding him in her lowered arms.

“Amy! Snap out of it! It’s a decoy!” Sonic put his hands on her shoulders and shook her, and her eyes returned to normal. “H-huh? Sonic? When did you get here?”

He lowered his eyes in agitation, but then the news came on.

“This just came in, T.W Barker is suing Amy Rose for a violation of her contract, that’s right, MR. TINKLE DIPPLES IS MISSING! AHH!! THAT POOR, INNOCENT BOY! AHH! AHH, THE AGONY! Amy’s reputation is ruined by the way and the world will never forgive her awful crime of LOSING THE MOST ADORABLE PUPPY IN THE WOR-RL-RLD!!!” The eagle was losing himself in his grief, as Amy’s eyes twitched and she brought out her hammer, looking ready to murder Sonic.

“Wait!” He dodged, “Amy, listen to me! YIKES!” he had to dodge Amy all the way to Eggman’s, where they defeated him to get the puppy back, who was still as still and in a loop-animation as ever, but wagged its tail and licked Sonic’s face when successfully brought to the manager.

Amy’s reputation was spared and Cubot and Orbot got Tails to fix Metal Pooch, leaving him to a happy life with Mombot.

She sat and stroked him, “THERE. THERE. WHO’S THE GOODEST BOY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD BESIDES MY TWO OTHER EVIL BOY SONS?”

Metal Pooch continued the animation cycle, “I AM. I AM GOODEST BOY OF YOUR TWO EVIL SONS. BARK. BARK.”

Eggman frowned, watching from a window, “Ohh... Wait, how’d he end up there!?”

Cubot still visits to give him screws as a treat.

Amy looked to her friends, “Huh, I guess the moral here is to not let celebrities take over your lives and make you forget about your real friends...” She opened her arms up to everyone but instead, T.W Barker popped up, shocking everyone.

“And always keep your contractual obligations~” he winked to the camera with a sly grin.

“Evenwhenabluehedgehog,that’sbeentheloveofyourlifeforwhoknowshowlong,isflirtingwithyoujustbecausejealousyisapartofacopingmechanismoftennotprescribedwithourcompany’sproductremembertobrushyourteethandsayyourprayerssuckersthisistotallylegitmarketingschemes.”

he muttered under his breath as though the legalities at the end of a radio or t.v commercials.

END.

#sonic boom #cutegirlmayra #sonamy #boom!sonamy #sonamy boom #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic boom prompt #sonamy prompt #fuzzy puppy buddies #eggman #boom!eggman #eggman boom

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