#though im having to take a break

[radiantmists]

reading animorphs sequentially instead of in whatever random order you can get your hands on them is such a trip because you can see these kids getting progressively better at war and worse at being happy, you can see how traumatic events from one book echo into the next ones but never quite get dealt with because these kids have no real way to take care of their mental health, you can see their relationships deepening but simultaneously gaining friction and faultlines as they learn just how far they'd go for each other but also how far they'd go in general...

obviously this series was meant to be episodic in nature, and i actually think that might be the better way to first encounter it, but the arc of the series in publication order is extremely well-crafted

#though im having to take a break #i just read 16 and like. In the context of Jake's endgame it has me so fucked up #i mean it's a lot in itself especially since he doesnt really deal with any of what happened #but also like. him genuinely not knowing if he thinks fenestre killing hosts to get their yeerks is okay ot not? #its a bad turning point for him but also still so much better than where he ends up and im too sad #animorphs #tbh im very [miles studying beter meme] about this #its so good at establishing character and themes #and laying down plot hooks for later #in a format i really dont think about much #Semi-episodic book series arent really a thing anymore are they?

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[soepwashere]

Tortles

In celebration of it having been a year since I watched Rise for the first time (the actual anniversary was in mid October but it’s fine) I redrew the first fanart I posted here! A whole year of ninja turtles brainrot <3

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt stuff #soep art #i was planning on having this done around the actual anniversary #but life got in the way a bit lol #very happy with the redraw though #it was fun to work on :D #if nothing else it’s an upgrade from the original alskjfkdkg #also i miiight take a break from fully rendered pieces for a bit #since they do take a while #and i think it’d be fun to post some of my sketchier/doodle art #im also having fun experimenting with my art so might have some more experimental drawings coming as well #anywho rambles over goodbye

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...

...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.

again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well

coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.

(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)

anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.

#taking a break from the late night funnies to get serious for a change #this is... sorta a vent post? idk. #please dont tag this with 'transmisogyny' i do not like that term #feel free to reblog though. if enough people are shitheads ill turn reblogs off but again i have hope we can be nice. #transmasculine folks please feel free to add anything else you feel is relevant! im writing from the perspective of a transfemme #who mostly spends time in transfem spaces and i obviously dont have the experiences of a transmasc so. yknow. add on if you have something #alright thats all for now back to your regularly scheduled sleepy/funny posting

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes

and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.

so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.

short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.

full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.

first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section

and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.

they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)

it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.

which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.

and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.

everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection

Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.

and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!

best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.

not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.

which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.

and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.

but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.

but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?

their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.

i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?

how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.

it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.

personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.

#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain #i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower #and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back #*taking a break from art* #brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings #welcome home theory #welcome home speculation #SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY #mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour #barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him #and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here #but like.... ugh #barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation #him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else. #him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt #everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone #and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away' #that has GOT to get on his nerves over time #this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck. #even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship #if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties #barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]' #and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship' #BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me! #also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things #bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn! #but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different #not said as a bad thing At All. #just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals #we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics

[skeletoninthemelonland]

😭😭

#BEHIND THE CODES SPRINGTRAP NOOO #Hi. im posting this here during a break from studying. i'll be back soon though #:] #i plan on making some springdad au animations in the future to better my skills #working on the au helped me get through some stuff irl and honestly im not ready to let go of it so soon #i'd say its different from the aftons suburb one. i had lost interest in it when it became some sort of shitpost #there is nothing wrong in having 'shitpost aus' but ig its not how i wish to view things #i do like ephemeral stuff #things that last for a while and that make you think 'woah. im glad i had the opportunity to see this' are always my favorite #aftons suburb was one of these cases #springdad au is going through the same path. but i trully believe theres more content to come from it #oh and about BTC? #i took a break from it. its been two or three months since that folder was last opened (and if i did open it. i didnt do anything) #its relatively hard to come up with good dialogs when theres also a need to comprehend how different characters express themselves #especially when said characters are older than you. or smarter than you in some way #some of them speak louder. while others will speak through their actions #thought i had to grow up a bit more to understand how these things work. #turns out. that mindset was blocking the whole creative process #anyway. its going to take a while #thank you for your patience

[house-of-daena]

Imagine walking in on Zhongli fucking Baizhu in his ass and just being like "Pleasing yourselves without my permission? How naughty.." and then proceeding to fuck them stupid as punishment. overstimulating Baizhu while Zhongli watches and Zhongli with his hands tied behind his back so he can't pleasure himself, making him beg to cum even once while Baizhu's came like 17 times. Then once satisfied with the begging finally fucking Zhongli until you're both satisfied<333

-Skin

ohhh i can imagine 😋

punishing them both for having fun w/o you... fucking baizhu until he can't cum anymore, voice raspy, face wet with tears as his cock pathetically twitches against his slick tummy covered in his juices... he's weakling holding onto his, his thighs trembling and he could barely feel his lower half,,, he's still sooo pretty, drool dribbling down his chin, jolting when your fingers brush on his oversensitive dick.

while zhongli doesn't get anything. he just watches as he's knelt on the floor, arms tied, cock throbbing so painfully. he wants to beg you to let him cum, but you told him specifically to not say a single word or you'll think of a more befitting punishment for his misbehavior. make zhongli fuck baizhu between his thighs, the doctor biting his bottom lip the way zhongli's cock thrust against his skin, so hot and big. then forcing him to stop moving once he's close... 💞

#» asmo talks #» skin anon #SORRY THIS IS SO HALF BAKED #I ust really wanted to let his own bc im taking a smallll break from writing today and maybe tomorrow to regain energy ^^ #don't be shy t send in thirsts though #esp abotu my wife :3 #also i have your rq on the dottore thing! tysm!! #i actually love the idea hehe

[casdeans-pie]

Dean, whispering to the Angel in bed beside him who literally cannot sleep: Cas. You awake?

#i just had this image in my head #cute domesticity and cosy middle-of-the-night conversations in bed in hushed whispers #even though theyre in their own house in their own bed #but its like you speak quietly when the room is pitch black #because you dont want to break the quiet cosy nighttime bubble #and Cas literally doesnt sleep but he closes his eyes and he basks in the warmth of being close to Dean #while hes so vulnerable and sleepy and cuddly #and getting into bed with Dean is his favourite thing to do in the whole world #even though they do it every single night #anyway where was i going with this #its just that theyre so SO in love #and they deserve these sweet quiet moments #Cas nuzzling into the back of Dean's neck like Yes Dean Im Awake #and Dean goes on to tell him about how he forgot to say that he bumped into Mr Jenkins at the store earlier #and he gave him some pumpkin seeds to plant #and theyre still in the pocket of the jeans he wore earlier (that are on the floor somewhere) #so dont let him forget to take the seeds out before the jeans go in the laundry basket #and Cas with total solemnity is like I wont. and says that when the pumpkins have grown they can make pumpkin pie #and Dean snuggles back into him and says I love you on a sleepy sigh as he drifts back to sleep #and on that note goodnight tumblr #dont mind me just writing drabbles in the tags instead of sleeping yknow the usual #pie says stuff #destiel #destiel headcanon

[spamsandsuch]

erm. what the spamton

#spamton #spamtonposting #monthly post to show im not dead school and life are just killing me #i have not had much time to draw much spamton or dr stuff because ive already been doing so much drawing for my art classes LOL #its been taking my time #spring break and my birthday are coming up soon though.. maybe ill draw something then.... #ask to tag

[doodlebloo]

Hiii guys.

I've already been out of my mind busy for the past few months, and with midterms happening and my thesis defense soon I may not be super active here for a bit.

As it stands now I'm not leaving this blog. This has been my home for the past few years and I love the story too much to let go. I will assess how I'll talk about Tommy/Phil/Tubbo etc going forwards based on their responses, lack thereof, info on what is and isn't allowed to be said legally, etc.

If you're reading this I love you so so so much. I am at all times overflowing with love for the dsmp/mcyt community and what it's done for me. Some of the happiest moments I've had in my life were because of you all.

Also, if you're rebranding or moving blogs or w/e and we're mutuals I'd love to follow your new account even if we share 0 interests in common now, feel free to lmk where you're headed to (if you want) ❤️

#i think i need to be less on Tumblr for a minute because well. #i have an unhealthy attatchment to this community. i like get physically sick when i see a blog i loved has deleted. #and i cant really take the stress of watching ppl leave and checking for updates/statements on this situation rn so. may take a short break #i am coming back though. promise. probably wont even be a week. #(disclaimer 1: supporting shubble should always be everyones first priority. not trying to make this situation abt me just posting an update #on my blog about how my blog will be handling things.) #((disclaimer 2: if you see me post this ans a few days later im back here that means i failed in my attempt to not doomscroll 💔)) #doodle.txt

[itsalwaysforyou]

jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesn’t want to do anything coach might disagree with…….

#‘coach trusts me…’ like what if i cried #man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN #<- i’ve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc #but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment #coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him #the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team #train them and critique them and lead them to victory #and coach probably wouldn’t have cared abt lonnie being on the team #but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask #coming from the ‘if you want it take it and if you can’t take it break it’ guy #like this is the one thing he doesn’t want to risk breaking……. #and then obviously he gives it up!!!!! #he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team #& mr ‘my only dislike is women being unhappy’ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM #it’s suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint #but also character wise for jay #like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didn’t really want that much anyway….. #it’s going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay #oh it makes me crazy #damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things #im like i analyse things a normal amount and then i’m writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2 #I AM UNWELL #anyway. jesus christ #descendants #jay son of jafar #EDIT i’m not finished actually #do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coach’s word? #bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isn’t like the isle #but. ‘you don’t want to be at my house at dinner time’……. #he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right

[inkingkitsune-art]

@originalartblog Remembers how I said I had the urge? It's not finished but this is how that urge is going. Enjoy this snippet.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #writing #tiny skk adventures #Does this belong on my Art blog? #Who knows but this is my blog and writing is art SO #I have a vague idea on how this will go so this may take a while #pls ignore my grammer #It should be fixed when its done and on AO3 I swear #its a nice break from my main fic im writing though #(no my main fic isn't bsd before people might get excited about a random new fic soz) #(its Ratchet and Clank but its not even about them its about Ratchets dad lmao) #TUMBLR LET ME TAG YEEES

[lunarharp]

witch sketchbook

#witch hat tag #orufrey #partial nudity / #first is for 'promise' theme of whatober. saw there was an event so im bothering coming back online to post... lately i dont feel like it #especially twt..the last oru is just for here. i just feel so happy while drawing alone & then after posting it there like..mood drop. #not good at internetting... maybe i should just take another break & isolate myself forever... *thinks this literally every other week* #i like the nice tags on here though :) #i have nowhere else to complain about the following thing either so i'll do it here. theres a bug in baldurs gate 3 keeping my chararacter #from fully romancing their man. What's up with that. 180 hours of fighting the horrors for this. Aint that just life..

[exchangersilverr]

Honestly I think what is more upsetting about these results is just how many people thought it was going to be more even than it was. I fell for it too! The sneak peek looked so close, the half time report even closer, but then...

...it kinda stings, y'know? It shouldn't have been like that. All the games I played, it felt even. I played just as much against Big Man, I thought. It definitely didn't feel like we were such a small cohort. It didn't feel like there were 55% Shiver. It felt genuinely equal and to find out it was nowhere near is soul-crushing.

#shut up e #splatoon #splatfest #dont get me wrong #i do love shiver #and i am holding onto hope that this will eventually even out #i think this splatfest theme itself was... not great #i am just debating at least taking a break for a while #glad i missed cryptids and icecream and zelda lol #but after spending all weekend playing even sacrificing sleep to play i guess im just a little heightened on emotions #it was a lot of fun though and i enjoyed playing! #i kind of wish i never saw the results and just enjoyed the game for what it is #funny squid game #y'know #...sigh #anyway sorry for the rant #hope youre all having a good day regardless of what team you chose

[oozeandgoo-art]

had an odd dream that i was reading a comic book. sketched a couple of the pages i could remember.

#i might adapt this into an actual story because i am SO SO SO mad that it isn't a thing i can go back to reading #oc #im definitely keeping the concept of save-bot i fucking love save-bot he's just doing his best. i love a robot who wants to help people #im not equipped to be writing about underground rebellions with any sense of real tact though #besides its in a superhero universe/story so you know it would just be so sucks lol #sketch #god the colors were so interesting. the teal parts were all very precisely crosshatched and the fire was this gorgeous brush pen looking #colored inks that just seemed like they were MOVING #and i mean some of that was because i was dreaming but god even in my halfhearted copy you can see some of the movement #it was a bad scene but a really really REALLY fun dream. i love when a book can *get* to me so i was really enjoying it #put it aside so i could take a break and woke up. instant fury at the universe for not having it be a real book instead #ill reblog with details if anyone's curious. i can explain this scene but i dont feel like it #the green people are in a secret basement though. hiding from the government. blue jacket guy is a speedster robot named save-bot who does #rescue stuff with every fire department so fire suppression technology is not very good because save-bot "can just save you'' #however they're badly over their legal occupancy and the secret basement has One (1) exit so everyone is like really fucked here. #includinig save-bot who is going to do his job until he dies because he is an ai without any sense of self preservation and he cares #which i didn't even CATCH until i woke up and started tryin to frantically note everything down #and then i was like wait. the glitter on that last page before i realized i needed a glass of water to keep reading... what WAS that... #(it was tears suspended in midair because save-bot goes so fast and also knows he's so fucked LOL) #seriously i'm so mad someone else didn't make this.

[puppyeared]

for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........

#MOTHER FFFFUCKER #to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants #im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night #at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn #to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS #the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori #but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey #consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!! #just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick #outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to #animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better #at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH #i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc #im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over #where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands #there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE #ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles #but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your #health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!! #im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves #also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet #im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to #have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to #to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up #their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ #yapping