Hellsite Detective in…
The Miku Bind
sometimes, a detective has got to do some work for herself. and i decided it was time to go after one of my white whales…
it was a cool, rainy afternoon in Tumblr City, like always. i had just wrapped up doin’ some cases and i was broodin’ out the window. but one image kept flashin’ in my mind. a vocaloid lovin’ foundin’ father that i’ve sought for my whole career. the fabled Thomas Jefferson Miku Binder.
to start my journey, i went down to the Search Bar, a night club in the heart of the city. neon lights shined on the sign out front and music could be heard pourin’ out the front door. i stepped in, drippin’ wet from the rain outside. the place was lively as ever, groups minglin’ and dancin’ to the music. and there, in a corner booth away from everyone else, was Don Google. that big time mob boss that acts as my informant. they sat there playin’ poker with a couple of lackeys, no one of note from what i could tell. they saw me walkin’ up and immediately called out to the waiter for another drink.
“well well! if it ain’t my buddy, Miss Detective! whatcha here for?”
i’m here for personal business, actually. i’m lookin’ for this…
i slid a photograph across the table. the photo that was so well known, it made even the Don pull back. they knew this was serious business.
“you sure you want this one?”
i’m sure, Don. you got it or not?
“oh, i got it. but it’ll cost ya.”
i wasn’t about to have my victory snatched away by this selfish old fool. the Don lookin’ for a deal was never a good sign, but i was desperate.
what do you want?
“oh, nothin’ much, doll. just do me a favor sometime down the line. then we’ll call it even. capisce?”
bein’ in debt to the Don was not something i wanted. whatever they asked me to do, i knew it’d be bad. but either way i needed this post. i needed to solve the case. so i made what would possibly be the worst mistake of my life…
it’s a deal.
“glad we could reach an agreement, Miss. i believe this is what you’re lookin’ for?”
they pulled out their black leather briefcase, their name engraved on it in multicolored letters. it would seem tacky on anyone else. but the Don had a style to them that made it work. poppin’ it open, they handed me the file i was lookin’ for. just sittin’ there at the top, like they knew i was here for it. i grabbed it, thanked the Don, and got up to leave. that’s when they grabbed my sleeve.
“Miss Detective. don’t forget about our arrangement.”
i pulled away, scoffed, and went on my way. whatever they wanted me to do, i’m sure it wasn’t great. either way, the job was done. and i finally had what i wanted. i went back to my dingy office, alone, and filed the post away. the rain still poundin’ down against the window.
Post Case: Closed
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you can cure a hamilton fan by taking them to see some experimental immersive shit by some small time local company with full frontal nudity
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Notice how Jesus died when he was getting too popular
I fear the same thing will happen to Miku binder Thomas Jefferson
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Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson from Tumblr meme culture is a Killjoy!! just about died upon seeing this one in my inbox
Requested by: @questioningpunctuation
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