#this year will be so uncertain

[humbleanger]

.

#reading experiences with changing yr name and gender marker and it's either /went fast #was ok/ or /death would be preferable/ and it's getting me #but i know i have anxiety so i try to hold onto hope and tell myself /it could go well! nothings lost yet/ #sometimes i read about how difficult it is to be trans and i wonder how people here do it bc i instantly get /i can't do this i need to die #thoughts in my head but i also know that's probably the anxiety (and depression tbh) #journal eb #i hope for my own sake that when i go through this which is hopefully sometime this year i have people to help me keep going and who will #help keep me from losing my mind #idk yet #this year will be so uncertain #idk who will be there for me and who i will have to let go #and it's all probably going to happen while i'm writing my thesis so impeccable timing on my front once again #wooooooof this'll be somethin else

[ruporas]

honeymoon phase! (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #me when the modern au fluff gets to me viciously #i LOVE modern au... i'm so weak to it... augh..... i love them in another universe getting the chance to be mushy and sweet *explodes* #most of all i just like to see wolfwood in his full element of being able to love and care about someone so openly and honestly. #it's what he was meant to do... what he wants to do.. what he deserves to do T_T but anyway. this can be interpreted as their many years to #come honeymoon phase but i do think modern au vw would have like their 2 year break up that devastates the both of them and irreversibly #changes their lives but it wouldnt be anything nasty. it just is. and then their lives go on as is for those 2 years before they steadily #and veryyyy very very very slowly get to around a second chance for each other. never necessarily awkward but theyre obviously afraid of #hurting and being hurt and also uncertain of what's right for themselves. but then they'll just get it one day and then they get married! #that's my ideal modern au vision anyway...... happy end... with so much emotional devastation of unspoken feelings and personal life troubl #ruporas art

[bethanydelleman]

What about the Austen heroes?

So the current professions of the Austen heroes are Trust-Fund Baby (Darcy, Bingley, Knightley, Colonel Brandon) and clergyman (Tilney, Ferrars, Bertram) and of course, naval officer (Wentworth).

Darcy's personality and insane degree of stable wealth makes his character pretty hard to write without him being a trust fund baby. So I will not assign him a profession, he's managing the generational family wealth.

George Knightley - runs a small but successful factory that is basically the only industry in his small town. Cash poor because he's always reinvesting in the company. Robert Martin is the floor manager.

Charles Bingley - his father struck it rich in the dot.com era and then died. He's inherited most of the fortune. Has no idea what to do with it, so he's been in university for 6 years.

Colonel Brandon - did four tours in Afghanistan before his brother died and he took over the indebted family chain of hardware stores. He's finally gotten the finances straightened out and the chain is once again profitable (with 100% less tax fraud).

Edward Ferrars - went to a super prestigious university because his mother donated to it, has a degree in Environmental Science much to her chagrin. Wants to work at a non-profit or do his PhD but his mom won't help him with the cost of living so he lives at home, doesn't work, and is miserable.

Edmund Bertram - clergyman or civil servant

Frederick Wentworth - I'm not sure what to do with him, because he needs an uncertain, dangerous career that can also strike rich, not sure if we have a modern analogue... oh it's athlete. He's an athlete who actually made it big and got rich. You pick the sport.

Henry Tilney - this one is so tricky! Because you see Henry Tilney is a nepo baby, but he seems to actually enjoy his profession. So I guess he has a corporate job at Tilney Inc. but he does like it (despite the CEO)

#athlete is actually perfect for Wentworth because it's so uncertain #you may rot in the minors or just make an okay amount of money #or you can be insanely wealthy #but also a single injury can ruin your career like Harville #and 19 year old Wentworth who is sure he can make it is still a bad bet #austen heroes #question response #jane austen #mansfield park #pride and prejudice #sense and sensibility #northanger abbey #emma

[soulmvtes]

january me and december me are very different people <3

#still very much the same but i feel so much more stable within myself #i had a hard time at the end of last year so last winter was just very much me feeling it all n feeling very uncertain #but i have lovely people around me rn #and im just trying to focus on the present and what i can control despite everything #diary #tiyas thoughts

[conscydraws]

I've finished watching The Untamed.

I feel so sorry for Lan Wangji :'))

#conscydraws #the untamed #the untamed spoilers #lan wangji #wei wuxian #wanxian #but to be fair Wei Ying looked so conflicted and uncertain #i guess he just needed some space to think and rest #Lan Zhan has waited for him for 16 years 😂 surely he can handle a couple more. right?? 🥲 #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #love all the tags you folks adding x))))) you give me life

[alpacacare-archive]

If i think about noelle deltarune too hard i just crumple and die a little. I just want to give her her sister back and never replay the game again

#noelle holiday #noelle deltarune #deltarune #noelle you live with uncertain grief. you grieve with a distracting hope that keeps eating at you and telling you she is out there. #that she is looking for you too. that she cares and is searching and didn't give up and is walking and talking and breathing #and laughing the same laugh at the same jokes you never fully got #but then something happens. someone was loud or the wind got strong or someone called your name while you lost yourself staring at the open #freezer in the grocery store. and you come back to reality. where she is gone and has been for years. where no one has heard anything from #her in years and everyone that happened to was found dead. but someone called your name. so you turn around and laugh asking them if they #needed something. because its fine. its been years and it doesn't affect you as much as it did when you were a kid. #thats what you tell everyone #you two say goodbye and you go back to your head. its hard to focus. its hard to grieve when you have hope. #its hard to accept an answer that never was

[dmclemblems]

“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”

Claude in GW/Hopes:

Claude, literally, in Houses:

Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.

Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.

#I’m still in the middle of answering this ask I got but yeah #even Edelgard noticed Claude really loves bringing ppl together in WC #when she says ''you really value that sort of thing don't you'' after the Eagle/Lion (+Deer >.> ) battle #like if Claude's goal was to destroy Fodlan and just leave a mess of it A+++ you did an astounding show stopping brilliantly done job #if your goal was peace well you fucked that up pretty good buddy #in Hopes too like he's literally arguing with Lorenz about it while Lorenz is like ??? bruh wtf ??? #literally who cares what some politicians did 300 years ago certainly not Houses Claude #in fact Claude said fuck our history sideways with a cactus let's make peace and be friends #AND he got the approval from the whole roundtable and that's all we know on the topic bc it's all we needed to know #versus in GW where it's explicitly stated that it took some doing for them to allow Claude to be king #meaning the roundtable was not up for what he was suggesting and needed to be convinced #they needed it enough that Lorenz pointed it out to everyone and from a narrative standpoint #AM Claude doesn't need to say how the meeting went and all we need to know is that it worked out #but in GW it's told to us that the meeting was very long and it took some doing for them to trust Claude's judgment #the meeting is presented in a more uncertain light with how the lords felt abt it whereas in AM #it's not told to us how things went bc it's not important. a negative aspect (i.e. the roundtable not being able to come to an agreement) #is an important thing to note and if there was any negative aspect of it in AM they would've put it in there #meaning the roundtable trusts AM Claude's judgment enough when he tells them he wants to put their two nations together again #idk how else to explain that so I hope you get what I mean lol #I just find it completely baffling that people actually say both Claudes are the same person and that he was always like how he is in Hopes #like you can like his character in Hopes and enjoy that portrayal of him but at least admit he's written differently you know? #I hate when I see people say that Claude fans didn't understand his character in Houses at all bc they don't like him in Hopes #when you have literal staunch polar opposite sentences coming out of his mouth in these two scenes #the Claude we get in AM is the same Claude - the same person at his core - as he is in VW and all the routes #Houses Claude does not blame whatever the fuck Leicester and Faerghus did 300 years ago on the people living in their present #he also doesn't blame Dimitri or anyone else presently in power for Daphnel #GW Claude there is just grasping at unimportant and insignificant straws to justify his invasion #pretty sure AM Claude would be like ''hey dimi lemme borrow failnaught back real quick'' and smack GW Claude with it #then kindly hand it back to Dimi and smile and wave

[yang-png]

im constantly fighting for my life as a rwby fan i deserve financial compensation

#being a fan of this show for 9 years has been the best and worst of times #the uncertain future of it rn because of the whole rt shutting down stuff has me like. so upset #yang.txt

[transimailisa]

i think we don’t address enough how revue starlight full on juxtaposed the visions of kaoruko and nana of the stage as complete opposite

#revue starlight #gonna do most of my ranting in the tag bc its messy lmao #but something about. kaoruko stage being Set In Stone due to her family but breaking away from that safe road if only #for her highschool years as a way to define her Own stage #vs nana whose stage is so uncertain that the moment she finds comfort into one she wishes to keep it forever and never stray away from it #IF YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

#you are so valid for that anon #theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me #theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them #but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other #AFTER 13 years of knowing each other #just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time. #which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow! #the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video! #its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating #each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously. #& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!! #then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern #the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay #the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle #and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it. #and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that. #(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea) #the bathroom being very clearly a shared space. #goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant #dnp #c.text #dan and phil

[v-akarai]

#servamp #servamp sensei #i was VERY uncertain about that art for quite a long time #and i still am #but after having it abandoned for a year it stopped to look as pathetic as it used to #i like certain elements but not the general view bruh #but maybe it isn't that bad after all. so

[plantanarchy]

today we learned that maple has zero leash skills and is actually a little afraid of the leash. she does not know any commands at all and I've yet to find a treat she gets super excited about. but I'm not actively trying to do any training right now she is just chilling for another week or so. just hanging out and learning the routine.

#she learned leave the chickens alone very quickly so i have hope she will figure stuff out quick once she is in the right mindset #right now she is just very uncertain #i keep panicking like uh oh i am unprepared for this. but no? literally i have been hyperfixated on dog stuff for years #i know theoretically how to approach dog training #but also i am stress crying for no reason

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like??? #this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms. #but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

[irelandseyeonmythology]

Not people asking Celticists to do critical editions of texts because they asked us nicely to.

I would love to edit and translate manuscripts all day long, on top of working as a teaching assistant, my side job in the field that also pays me, preparing conference papers for presentation, which often includes translating Latin, Middle Welsh, Old Irish, Early Modern Irish, and Modern Irish myself, even when scholars before me have translated them (to ensure that the nuances are captured), adapting those papers to Powerpoints, arranging accommodations and flights for said conferences, playing Stardew Valley, organizing conferences/conference panels, working on my phd, working on projects that are actually publishable in the field, plotting the next Fomoire invasion of Ireland, as well as my various and assorted commitments to different groups and organizations that I am also doing without pay in order to bolster my CV so that there is a snowball's chance in Hell that I have a shot at employment, while even more senior scholars in the field have to struggle to justify their translation work. It reminds me of an article on the Celtic Students blog that talks about how the overwhelming amount of public outreach in the field, at the moment, is done by Grad Students, yours truly included.

In these digital spaces, students of Celtic Studies (predominantly graduate students) carry the brunt of the public's attention, and work to amend persistent pervasive errors or misunderstandings (such as 'did the Celts really fight naked in battle', 'were the Celts really matriarchal', and 'why did Saint Patrick commit a genocide against the pagans') that have found themselves deeply rooted in public consciousness. These misunderstandings appear to have been perpetuated by the rise of the internet giving the public access to wildly out of date scholarly publications, the Wikipedia articles on medieval Celtic literature being deeply inaccurate, and a small cottage industry of people producing exceptionally inaccurate self-published books (and ebooks) about 'Celtic Mythology' that dominate digital marketplaces such as Amazon and the Kobo storefront. 

Despite this being important work, and entirely legitimate scholarly labor, it can be disheartening when this work is not recognized as legitimate or worthwhile by senior members of the field compared to standard scholarly activities.

#like it's a request but it's an inherently unreasonable one to ask of anyone #we KNOW there's a lot to be translated #we WANT to share it with the public #but we CAN'T #we're working on it as best as we can but we are GRAD STUDENTS #we are functionally amoebas in the field #amoebas with very uncertain futures #in a time when translation work isn't only long and tedious work #but also increasingly unfashionable #*I* wanted to do translation work for my PhD and I was basically told no #if you want me to do work that will not get me anywhere as far as my future career...pay me #per hour #Given that you're asking for the product of approximately 4-5 years of training I think that $25 is reasonable #Keeping in mind it can take me that long to translate a sentence...sometimes even a word #and of course in order to do a TRUE critical edition I'll need to see the manuscripts #which depending on if it's online or not means that you'll need to pay for my flights and accommodation in Dublin (most likely) #which if you know Dublin prices...*woo* #It's only a few thousand dollars or so #if it's that important to the public it's worth it

[faeymouse]

Just had someone who commissioned me a decade (a decade!) ago email me out of the blue asking if I still had a copy of their piece 🥹

2024 really coming in clutch at supersonic speed with the surprise reminders that my actions and my art matter, and I leave ripples that’ll touch distant shores I’ll never see.

#babbles #faey draws #de late #i dont mention it on here but ive been feeling a bit uncertain about my art #like ill still do it and i love it a lot but that’s just the end of the year for you #digs up all the old regrets and new hopes and it’s hard not to get swept up in the wouldashouldacouldas #this really meant a lot to get thanks universe #worked so hard on this new year’s eve party makeup and now im crying it off haha

[petersthree]

cbs ghosts really said here are the loneliest people in each time period congratulations they’re a found family now <3 

#cbs ghosts #just thinking about how profoundly LONELY each character is #like yes pete in an unhappy marriage and sam and pete being alone with none of their friends and thor wandering alone for years abandonedbut #even the ones we don't always think about as being lonely!!! #flower joined cults and communes but her greatest regrets involved leaving the people she loved behind #alberta had all these connections but from her murder we don't see how many were actually /genuine/ #trevor LITERALLY getting dumped in the fucking lake by his so called friends #like these are just people who at their core were lonely and craved connection in their lives and are getting it in their afterlives #except so many of them are so uncertain of how to properly DO it either #idk it just makes me feral!!!! #janie rambles