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looniecartooni · 3 years

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@hawkasss‘s “Extremely Detailed Character Chart” applied to Tyki Mikk from D Gray Man-

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Tyki Mikk

Reason or meaning of name: “First Man” and “One who is like God?” possibly signifying his deeper connection with the Millenium Earl

Character’s nickname: Tyki-pon by The Millenium Earl

Reason for nickname: Not very clear. Kind of a silly “pet” name or close friend name. He isn’t much of a fan of it and it was only used once.

Birth date: December 25th, same as the main character’s adoption date

Physical appearance

Age: 27

How old does he/she appear: Definitely in his twenties

Weight: 150 lbs (currently)

Height: 6ft 2

Body build: Fairly muscular, but pretty average

Shape of face: Round, kind of a pointed chin

Eye color: Gold like most Noah

Glasses or contacts: When in his human form he wears glasses he found in the trash to hide his eyes and face mole. Doesn’t appear to need them though.

Skin tone: Usually pale, but became more tan after the showdown on the ark. In Noah form (depending on the interpretation) dark tan or gray

Distinguishing marks: Left eye has a tiny mole under it. Also has scars on his body.

Predominant features: Curly hair, large smile

Hair color: Black

Type of hair: Uhh... short? For a while it was long. Mostly straight, but has a bit of a curl to it

Hairstyle: In his Noah form, usually pushed back leaving a large bushel of hair going down the back of his head. When his hair is long, he likes to tie it back or in a side ponytail

Voice: Not too deep, quite sexy for a chain smoker

Overall attractiveness: Very attractive. He was made to be attractive and succeeded both in the story and in the fandom’s eyes

Physical disabilities: Can’t be on his feet for too long after the ark incident

Usual fashion of dress: Tends to dress in scruffy work clothes with overalls when he’s human and in a fancy Victorian suit with a top hat and one of those weird scarf things I forgot the name of, but that’s sometimes replaced by a back tie

Favorite outfit: I’d say he likes the work clothes or just a plain shirt and pants

Jewelry or accessories: Has been seen wearing earrings on several occasions. He also carries a deck of cards to play poker when he wants. His body is also full of robotic, flesh eating butterflies

Personality

Good personality traits: Kind, helpful, gets concerned when someone he knows is in trouble (whether or not they’re his enemy), friendly to everyone, understanding mostly to people’s situations

Bad personality traits: Murderous intent, can snap when provoked the wrong way, able to be a bit too charming when he’s ready to attack, likes to scam people in poker

Mood character is most often in: He’s usually pretty calm and chill. He smiles a lot, but has a pretty chill demeanor. He get bothered by others a lot though so he tends to look bothered a lot too. He is also notoriously known for being confused all the time on many of the story elements that have yet to be explained

Sense of humor: Not really sure. He laughs when he’s nervous or excited. Perhaps when things don’t play out how he thought they would or when there’s irony in a situation

Character’s greatest joy in life: Being able to live a double life as a Noah and a human

Character’s greatest fear: Losing his sense of self to his Noah side probably

Why? What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?: If he lost the ability to keep having a human side and no longer live a double life which may have already began to happen

Character is most at ease when: He’s in control, doing things right, understanding a situation, or hanging out with friends

Most ill at ease when: He’s losing or disappointing the Earl or something doesn’t seem safe. Or when people don’t listen to him

Enraged when: He isn’t able to get a task done

Depressed or sad when: He doesn’t know how to help the Earl

Priorities: Serve the Millenium Earl, eat fish, hang with friends, and play poker

Life philosophy: Life is more entertaining when there is two sides to it

If granted one wish, it would be: Probably to maintain control over his Noah side

Why? : Because he likes the ability to be a human too. He doesn’t want to lose that

Character’s soft spot: People missing their friends, people in pain, or needing time to themselves. Also his friend Eez. I also saw him kissing one of his butterflies once. He’s also concerned about the Earl’s feelings (and possibly others too)

Is this soft spot obvious to others?- Road and the Earl both notice his love for humans and wanting to hang with his friends, but mostly just acknowledge it and leave it be. His brother we learn about later doesn’t appear to be very understanding of Tyki’s love for living with street people and not preferring just to be of the upper-class of society.

Greatest strength: His kind heart and ability to observe

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: His obliviousness and anger

Biggest regret: Not killing the main character back when he was supposed to

Minor regret: Losing to the main character in a game of poker where the main character cheated

Biggest accomplishment: Telling the main character not to let the monsters inside of him control him. He has to be the one to show them who he wants to be. Not sure if it helped or he sees it as an accomplishment, but it was some pretty wise words for someone who seemed to be destined to be controlled by warring forces for the rest of his possibly short life.

Minor accomplishment: Getting out of doing Road’s homework that time he was given the task to kill the main character

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Not killing Allen

Why?- People made fun of him for it and it made him look like a failure

Character’s darkest secret: He lives a double life

Does anyone else know?- It appears the Noah are well aware of it

Goals

Drives and motivations: Being able to see his friends again, protecting the Millenium Earl, poker, and food

Immediate goals: Capture “the Noah reaper”, keep the 14th Noah away from the Earl while figuring out who he is, and find out who Mana is

Long term goals: Keep the Earl safe and find out who the 14th and Mana are while maintaining control

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Unsure. Probably by interrogation of other characters and more fighting.

How other characters will be affected: The Earl wants to see the 14th and the truth may be the thing that breaks him or the main character.

Past

Hometown: Somewhere in Portugal probably

Type of childhood: Most likely on the streets as an orphan, but we still don’t have any back story

Pets: Unknown

First memory: Unknown

Most important childhood memory: Unknown

Why: We don’t have a backstory yet!!!

Childhood hero: Probably the Millennium Earl. It’s implied he was taken in at a young age

Dream job: Anything as long as there’s food and he’s with his friends

Education: Never went to school, but was supposedly tutored by the Earl and helps with Road’s homework. He did learn how to write somewhere

Religion: Catholic most likely, given the story and who he’s with, but I could be wrong

Finances: Living by minimum Victorian lower-class wage or the Earl’s money (along with probably scammed poker items)

Present

Current location: His brother’s house maybe

Currently living with: Not really sure. Haven’t seen him with his friends, but we have seen him at his brother’s house a lot. His brother might have him trapped there

Pets: His brother has a dog

Religion: Whatever the Noah believe

Occupation: He was a miner with his friends. Not sure if that’s changed.

Finances: Brother or Earl’s money probably

Family

Mother: Unknown Relationship with her: Seriously Unknown

Father: Does the Earl count?

Relationship with him: He likes the Earl. Kind of scared and impressed with him. Occasionally embarrassed by him

Siblings: Older brother

Relationship with them: Tolerated to a degree, but tends to feel uncomfortable around him for... reasons. They do talk and I think have a form of care. They don’t quite understand eachother though

Spouse: None Relationship with him/her: Nothing yet

Children: He has a friend who is a child

Relationship with them: Tyki gets along with Teez pretty well, as well as his niece Road. His nephew can get annoying sometimes but he still cares for him.

Other important family members: Yet to be revealed

Favorites

Color: Image color is light blue and he has a light blue shirt so... Light blue? Maybe magenta or purple because of his butterflies, but that might be more of what the Earl likes. Wears a lot of black...

Least favorite color: Hasn’t expressed any hate for color that I know of

Music: Not sure

Food: Anything he eats with his friends, but he has a particular fondness for fish

Literature: Doesn’t read a lot

Form of entertainment: Poker, fishing, and hanging out with friends

Expressions: Eagerness???

Mode of transportation: Trains perhaps? So he can scam people- heheh... Might be the Ark though as he uses it pretty frequently. Probably more convenient

Most prized possession: Not entirely sure

Habits

Hobbies: Poker, fishing, and napping. He also likes collecting people he kills’s buttons and giving them to Teez

Plays a musical instrument? Be kind of fun if he did

Plays a sport? Fishing is a sport

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Playing poker, fishing (he definately would if it was pouring too), probably hanging out with friends or Noah family. Maybe take a nap

Spending habits: Food related probably

Smokes: Chain smoker

Drinks: He’s appeared to have drank Wine once or twice, but not really that often

Other drugs: I think he gets high on life and fighting

What does he/she do too much of?: Smoke, creative organ removing techniques

What does he/she do too little of?: Proper analying of sitations

Extremely skilled at: Combat, poker, fishing, and murder

Extremely unskilled at: Homework, defeating a 16 year old

Nervous tics: Puts hand on his face, chuckles

Usual body posture: Slups over when he’s relaxed, but actually keeps pretty good posture (probably instilled in him by the Earl and his brother)

Mannerisms: Calm, confidence, easy going

Peculiarities: You feel at ease around him which also makes you feel uneasy because you just know, even though he’s nice or acting nice, he most likely has something up his sleeve.

Traits

Optimist or pessimist?: Optimist. Seems to believe he has the high ground or people will comply to what he offers

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert. Likes to be alone or with a small group of individuals. Also not a fan of people being clingy (he’s like a cat. Don’t go to him, let him come to you)

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil with a sense of caution. He doesn’t always think things through, but he does keep his guard up mostly. When he lets his guard down, bad things happen

Logical or emotional? Emotional. Worries about peoples feelings and does what makes him excited. Doesn’t always use logic, but he likes a good challenge

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Disorderly I think

Prefers working or relaxing? Relaxing

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Mostly confident, but he has been unsure on himself and situations before. When he’s too confident, he’s most vulnerable

Animal lover? Seems like one

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: Seems to like their life

One word the character would use to describe self: Interesting

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I doubt he’d want to write a paragraph about it

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait?: His charm

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait?: His cluelessness or lack of perception

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic?: His “choose” ability

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic?: Not sure. His hair being too long? Or being “handsome”? Kind of seems to be bothered by that.

How does the character think others perceive him/her: Trustworthy or lazy

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Probably how he looks. He already managed to get a hair cut and straighter hair

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: He’s clueless but handsome and interesting

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Sometimes, but seems pretty expressive in a simplistic sense. That was hindered a little by becoming a Noah

Person character most hates: Apocrypos and possibly the 14th

Best friend(s): Eez, Momo, and Clark

Love interest(s): None that have appeared so far

Person character goes to for advice: Road

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Eez, The Millenium Earl, occasionally the main character, seems to instinctually know how to handle his brother, the Earl when he feels like he made him upset, whoevr puts him under pressure

Person character feels shy or awkward around: his brother when said brother is upset

Person character openly admires: His friends and The Earl

Person character secretly admires: I think he’s secretly impressed by the main character’s tenacity, but I could be wrong (no- I do not ship them)

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: His friends and The Earl

After story starts: The Earl and figuring out who the 14th is

#d gray man #boy that took a long time!#dgm tyki #tyki mikk

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precuredaily · 3 years

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Precure Day 204

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 Go Go! 06 - “King Donuts Awakens!” Date watched: 8 January 2021 Original air date: 9 March 2008 Screenshots Transformation Gallery Project info and master list of posts

mood

The character re-introduction arc reaches its epic conclusion and shows us where Rin has wound up after her moment of self-realization in the Y5 finale. It turns out, she wound up constantly tired. Relatable. Let’s dig in!

The Plot

Nozomi and Rin are on their way to Natts House to prepare for the grand re-opening. Rin is visibly very tired and confesses that she was up late the previous night.

images with sleepy auras

As they arrive at the store, they run into Syrup.... or more accurately, he runs into them, carrying an urgent letter from Milk. (Remember this, because Syrup sure doesn’t) However, just then, a brilliant light erupts from inside of Natts House, so they all rush in to see what’s happening. They find everyone gathered around a table with the Rose Pact in the middle, glowing, and then it opens up and King Donuts emerges, fully awake. Then he yells at everyone to stop staring at him.

blinded by the light...... how does that song go again?

After the opening, the gang tries to introduce themselves to King Donuts, but he assumes it’s another Eternal trap until Coco and Nuts reveal themselves. Instead of being relieved, however, he just pivots his anger onto them for being incompetent and letting him get attacked by Eternal. So yeah, not off to a great start here. While they watch the goings-on, Rin yawns, and this further annoys the already irate king. Growing frustrated, he tries to leave, but finds that there’s a barrier around the Rose Pact that’s trapping him until he fully recovers. As you may imagine, this does wonders for his good mood.

I’m not yawning because I’m bored, I’m yawning because I’m bored AND tired.

Cut to Eternal’s headquarters and a very fatigued Scorp drops a huge report on Anacondy’s desk, mentioning he hasn’t slept for six days while writing it. However, she dings him on numerous minor errors, deeming it unusable, and tells him to combine it with the previous report and redo it. Exhausted and holding a stack of paper half his height, Scorp collapses and the pages fly everywhere. I have to say, Koyasu acting tired is a fun change of pace for him.

these are the eyes of a man who has lost all hope

Back at Natts House, everyone is still trying to appease King Donuts. He insists he’s fine already but in attempting to demonstrate this, he wears himself out quickly. Karen offers him the apple she snapped a few episodes ago, but he refuses to eat it because he doesn’t trust them. The girls give up on him for now, because they need to get to work opening up the store, but they notice Rin has fallen asleep.

Nozomi advises them to just leave her be, trying to get Syrup to help them pass out fliers instead. He refuses and wants to know why they don’t wake Rin. Nozomi explains that Rin was busy all day with sports clubs, tending to the family shop, and watching her siblings, so she stayed up all night designing accessories because it was the only free time she had. (I am very familiar with this concept.) She also admits that Rin didn’t tell her this, she deduced it because she knows Rin and how she works.

With that settled, the remaining girls, as well as Coco and Nuts, get to work handing out fliers. Syrup, however, stays behind to look over Rin, because he refused to help any other way. He muses over his situation.

At that moment, Rin wakes up, and Syrup asks if she really was up all night designing jewelry. She realizes her old friend Nozomi has read her like a book. She admits to feeling guilty that she not only stayed up late working, but she couldn’t come up with any ideas, and now she’s missed out on handing out fliers as well. She feels useless (big oof) and contrasts herself with Syrup, who she says is working hard to get to the Cure Rose Garden. Syrup disagrees and insists she works way harder than him. At this point, King Donuts, who has been listening in, interjects and commends Rin for being critical and analytical of herself, saying it’s the key to self growth. I feel like there’s a missing line in here about not slipping too far into self-doubt, but regardless, Rin remembers she’s supposed to be at futsal practice and runs off before the end of the King’s speech.

“Gah!” - Natsuki Rin, 2008

After she’s gone, the king and Syrup discuss how hardworking she is, along with the other girls. Also there’s a gag where King Donuts didn’t recognize Syrup until he turned back into his fairy form which further establishes that Syrup has a bit of a negative reputation far and wide.

Meanwhile, at the practice field, Rin isn’t doing a whole lot better at futsal than she was at jewelry design. As a result of staying up late, she’s still tired, so she’s missing passes or overshooting goals. She even accidentally kicks the ball over the fence and into the woods, so she goes to retrieve it while yawning some more.

It’s here that she is confronted by an equally sleepy Scorp, who asks her to hand over the Rose Pact so he won’t have to write up his report, and he can sleep. It’s kind of pathetic, kind of comical.

Scorp turns the futsal ball into a hoshiina, so Rin transforms as well. Syrup swoops in to save her from Scorp but drops the Rose Pact, so King Donuts tries to talk down the villain. However, Scorp is undeterred and even sees more value in having one of the monarchs inside the Rose Pact. The other girls show up and transform, temporarily distracting Scorp (as well as the king, who is surprised that they’re the legendary warriors) but he then continues his advance until Rouge punches him away. Then she hears Lemonade screaming as the Hoshiina tries to fling her off, so Rouge rushes in to kick it and rescue her friend. Scorp once again tries to capture the Rose Pact, so Rouge separates from the team again to protect the fairies, but Scorp captures her instead and taunts her about trying too hard to do too much by herself and says she’ll only ever be halfway finished. This hits Rin at her core and she is unable to resist an attack from the Hoshiina, but at the last moment her teammates jump in front of her to defend her. They remind her that she’s not alone, they’re there to help her, and then Dream gives an inspiring speech about how Rin always challenges her situation and works harder than others, so they’ll always support her. Scorp is unimpressed, but Dream rushes him with a Shooting Star. Feeling newly motivated, Rin also performs her new finisher on the Hoshiina: Fire Strike! She summons a fireball at her feet and then kicks it into the monster, which of course dissolves back into a normal futsal ball. Scorp flees, muttering about how he’ll have to include this in his report as well.

As the dust settles, King Donuts admires the Precures, and then has a seemingly random realization about the Rose Pact and the Red and Blue roses, or rather, the lack of blue rose. In case you had forgotten that plot point.

the answer will surprise you

Back at Natts House, King Donuts opens up a bit more to the girls and they chat back. However, he quickly reiterates that he doesn’t acknowledge Coco and Nuts as rulers yet. When they ask Syrup to help them with the shop, he reminds them that he’s only here to deliver a letter from Milk, and he finally hands it over to Coco. (took him long enough) It turns out the letter says there’s an emergency in Palmier Kingdom and everyone needs to come there quickly! They want to go but aren’t certain how.... until they remember Syrup has the convenient ability to travel between worlds. He initially refuses, but King Donuts cleverly appeals to both his pride and his kind-heartedness, causing him to think about the conviction all the girls have shown in their solo outings thus far, and he agrees to take them. So just as quickly as it opened, Natts House is closed again and the gang boards Syrup to fly to the Palmier Kingdom. As they rise into the air, they soar forwards into a watercolor warphole, surrounded by floating lights. They fade to white and the credits start.

The Analysis

Something I truly appreciate about this episode is that it picks up from the first series finale, and shows that Rin hasn’t magically become a top tier accessory designer, she still has moments of artist’s block, and she really struggles with just finding time to create, which impacts her social responsibilities. (sounds familiar) Rin’s struggle is a recurring theme, and I'm always glad that unlike certain later shows, they don’t glamorize her sacrificing sleep, they just portray it as something people sometimes do even if it’s not in their best interests. Contrast with that episode of Go Princess, you know the one. It’s a straightforward cause and effect: Rin stays up late designing, so she’s tired the next day, and that influences her interactions.

It has some positive responses, such as getting King Donuts to recognize how hardworking she is and swaying his opinion on the girls; and some negative impacts, like kicking the futsal ball too hard and over the fence. With all that said, I must once again remind you all not to sacrifice your well-being for your goals, even if I’m bad at following my own advice.

King Donuts (or Doughnuts if you prefer) is an interesting character. At first he’s paranoid that he’s in another Nightmare trap, but as he grows to accept his circumstances he warms up a bit, especially when he hears about how hard Rin is working. He remains critical of Coco and Nuts, understandably so, since their negligence led to him being attacked previously. However, he doesn’t dislike them, he is sharp-tongued because he wants to make them better kings. Physically he resembles a diminutive dragon. It’s not the most apparent visual but when all four Rulers are together the pattern begins to become obvious. More on that ~eventually~.

although they’re all in the OP so, ya know, clues

A secondary theme throughout this arc has been to show Syrup starting to acclimate to the girls and begin appreciating their hard work and way of doing things. He’s still stubborn and wants to do his own thing, but it takes less arm twisting to get him to go along with the girls’ requests. Usually. As he admits to King Donuts, he respects their work ethic and their devotion to the causes they love. He entered the picture as a loner delivery boy who just wanted to do his job, but getting roped in with the Precures’ misadventures has opened his eyes somewhat. He’s going to be fun to watch as the show continues. However, he has a reputation, as we’ve seen. We don’t know exactly what the details are but several characters seem to have a low opinion of him, and we’ll find out more about that in coming episodes.

The fight in this episode is interesting in how..... not interesting it is. It kind of fools you into thinking more is happening than actually is. There’s a lot of talking and not as much action as you would expect. The Cures and Scorp or the Hoshiina will exchange a few blows and get thrown around, then one of them starts lecturing the other side about their beliefs. Sure, all Precure shows have elements of this, I can remember a few other fights that were more talk than combat, but it seems particularly egregious this episode. I do like how Scorp’s mocking has an effect on Rouge though. She’s already feeling really unaccomplished and then he goes and tells her she’s useless without her friends. It starts to weigh on her heart, but her friends quickly step in and say hey, we love Rin, she has us to support her, it’s okay if she can’t do it all by herself. As a result of this quick pep talk, she unleashes Fire Strike, her new finisher, and boy does THAT shine. It’s the first soccer-themed Precure attack in the series, and more will follow in subsequent years.

Compared to some of the other finishers, Fire Strike is more straightforward. Rouge creates a ball of fire and kicks it directly into the Hoshiina. It’s less over the top than her teammates attacks (flying into the enemy, twin whips, flying discs, or an arrow made of water) but the animators manage to punch it up a bit with some suitably dramatic effects that sell how fast, hard, and powerful this kick is. Also I have to say, the shot of Rouge bringing her leg all the way back to ready the kick is really cool.

Her leg is cocked and extends past her head. If you’ve ever tried this you know it’s hard, so even if you can make a drawing do anything, it still looks impressive, and the next shot where she’s kicked it is gorgeous. The flame walls, the way she’s lifted slightly off the ground, the way the ball is warped, all convey a sense of power and motion. Yeah, she’s just kicking it straight ahead, but you get the sense she could kick it through a brick wall.

I do have to say, on the negative side, the framing device of the episode feels a little forced. If this letter from Milk was so important, Syrup probably should have pushed it on the girls a little sooner. Maybe just dropped it off with Nozomi when he first met her in the morning. They still could have seen King Donuts awakening but they would have made moves to go straight to the Palmier Kingdom instead of doing all that work advertising and opening the shop only to have to close it again right away, and skipping Rin’s moral quandary. Since those are at the root of the episode, it might be hard to cut them, so alternatively, to keep them, the episode could have been written such that Syrup could have received the letter at the end, so he wasn’t holding onto such an important and urgent letter all episode long. It’s the little things. And on that topic, I find the third act (fourth act?) after the fight to be a little too goofy. Syrup finally hands over the letter, then they all hem and haw about how they’re going to get to Palmier Kingdom and they beg and plead Syrup to do it until he finally agrees. The only truly funny part to me is Nuts lamenting that he has to close Natts House after he just opened it.

Also there’s this ending sequence.

vimeo

This is the single worst thing I have ever made in the name of this project.

It’s overall a well-thought out episode and it smartly moves between story elements, smoothly concluding the character reintroductions and setting up the Blue Rose arc that follows. I appreciate how seemingly unconnected events flow into each other and they lead to the King seeing that the girls are legitimately good people. It’s probably the most cohesive episode of this arc, although I still think the character reintroductions peaked with Urara’s. The others have been good in different ways, but there’s a deeper bit of heartfelt emotion that episodes 2, 3, 5, and 6 just haven’t been able to match.

Next time, Milk’s emergency turns out to be largely imagined, and we meet a new villain. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 kettei!

#Precure #Pretty Cure #Yes! Precure 5 Go Go!#YPC5GG06 #PCD204

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rhnuzlocke · 5 years

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Chapter Seven: If You Can’t Rock Me

Ren and Tāraki stood in the immaculate hallway on the top floor of the Devon building. Despite donning the most businesslike outfit she had in her vapor box, Ren was feeling rather underdressed for the occasion, especially when a woman in a custom tailored suit emerged from the office across from them.

“Mr. Stone will see you now.”

She held the door open for them, and Ren thanked her as they went in.

The walls of the generous office were covered in cases of specimens from glittering crystals to polished granite. The floor was beautifully striated, pink marble that was somehow still less impressive than the lobby, which had them walking over an incredible array of intricately arranged fossils.

Mr. Stone stood from his large desk on the far end of the room to greet them. He was an older gentleman with silver hair and a perfectly trimmed beard.

“Lovely to meet you, Miss Kosugi,” he said as he shook her hand. He then he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “Please have a seat.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Nonsense, it is I who must thank you,” he said as Ren sat down, and Tāraki jumped to the arm of the chair. “The package you recovered was an extremely important prototype. My company and I are indebted to you.”

“You are welcome, sir. I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

He gave a warm smile—warmer than she had been expecting. “That is very admirable of you, Ms. Kosugi, but I did not invite you here just to thank you personally.”

“You really don’t have to do anything,” Ren said firmly. She had hoped to avoid a reward after purposefully letting the thief go… twice.

“Please allow me to anyway. It is only fair,” he insisted. “I’d like to offer you full access to all of our nav apps, free of charge, and of course upgrade your nav to any model you choose. We also have an extensive line of accessories for trainers that may be of use to you. Ms. Ikeda will assist you as soon as we’re done.”

Ren weighed whatever was happening in her conscience against the risk of exposing herself and Josh for a moment before realizing it was moot. Despite Mr. Stone’s jovial bearing, she could feel that he wasn’t going to budge.

“That is very generous, sir. Thank you.”

“Very good.” He regarded her for a moment, hands knit together and thumbs wandering back and forth. “There is one more thing. This in no way effects anything I have already offered, and you are under no obligation to accept, but I was hoping you might run an errand for me—paid, of course.”

Now that she wasn’t expecting. “What sort of errand?” She asked carefully. She saw Tāraki cock his head in her periphery.

“Delivery. Specifically taking the parts you returned to me twice to my son in Dewford. It would be a great personal favor.”

The odd feeling that had prodded her back in Petalburg Woods reared up stronger than ever, and she gripped the arms of her chair. She had let go of the idea of asking questions before she even entered the building. Now there was no way not to.

“Before I decide, I have a few things I would like to ask.”

“About the incidents?” he asked, and she confirmed with a nod. He was sharp. “By all means. You and your pokemon were, albeit unintentionally, put in jeopardy. You are perhaps owed some manner of explanation.”

“Thank you, sir. Can I ask why you sent your top fossil scientist to deliver this prototype and not a courier? It seems like, as the head of the department, he might have other things to do.”

The corner of his mouth turned up just slightly before he leaned back a bit. “Ah, yes, under normal circumstances I certainly wouldn’t have, but since this was sensitive material, I needed someone I trusted. Devon may make most of its money nowadays from navtech, but I founded this company as a fossil revival center, and that has always remained my passion. Graeme has been here since the very beginning, and I’ve worked with him for much of my life. He is a close friend.”

In that moment, Ren resented her gut just a little for being right again because now she had to follow it. “Please excuse me—I don’t mean to sound rude or accusatory—but it seems as though Dr. Arden, and by extension yourself, may have expected an attempted theft?”

“To be perfectly frank, yes. Yes, I did.”

“So, do you know who is trying to steal this prototype and why?”

“Yes, I believe I do.” For the first time, Mr. Stone’s flawless posture wilted ever so slightly, and he paused for a moment, as if reluctant to elaborate. “This may sound strange, and I hope you will forgive me—I do not mean to cast aspersions—but I am fairly certain Magma is behind the attempted thefts.”

Ren had no idea what that meant or why he should feel uncomfortable saying it. Tāraki tilted his head all the way in the opposite direction, brow furrowing. He was doubtless even more lost than she was. “Is that… a criminal group?”

“Heavens no!” Mr. Stone exclaimed, raising his hands as if to push that idea away from him. “I forgot you are new to the region. No, Magma is a humanitarian organization. Their focus is infrastructure and affordable housing. I collaborated with them recently on the Rusturf Tunnel project.”

Mention of the tunnel made Ren’s chest tighten. “I’m sorry about the collapse.”

“It is unfortunate,” he said with a sigh, “but not your doing. Problems with the Whismur plagued it from the beginning. I suppose Captain Seaborne was right after all…” His eyes drifted out the window as he fell silent.

Ren felt a pang of sympathy. Continuing to pry didn’t seem kind anymore. Mr. Stone was under a lot of stress, and this wasn’t just business to him. But she looked over at Tāraki, saw the confusion on his face, but when their eyes met he smiled and nodded encouragingly. Her resolve hardened. He couldn’t understand much of what was being said, but he trusted her to make the right choice. They were all relying on her.

She didn’t mince her next words. “Do you think the project may have just been a way for them to get inside information about your company?”

“I admit to briefly considering the possibility.” He rearranged some items on his already orderly desk. “However, taking into account the organization’s history and having met with their leaders personally, I find it unlikely that their work up until this point has been some kind of smokescreen for criminal activity. That is to say, I do not believe this was motivated by greed. It seems more likely to me that they have found some way other than public appeal to further their agenda and that the technology they are attempting to steal will help them in some way.”

Now that was an interesting wrinkle. “And what exactly are they trying to steal?”

“A new type of energy converter,” he answered easily. Ren had half-expected him not to disclose anything at all. And that made her feel better even though things had become more complicated.

“So with all of that going on, why ask me to take the package?”

“Firstly, you have already proven yourself trustworthy. You had ample opportunity to take the parts yourself, knowing full well that they must be very valuable, but instead returned them twice. Secondly, since you are not a Devon employee or affiliate, Magma is unlikely to suspect you are carrying anything for us. And thirdly, if they do find out, you have already demonstrated you are a competent enough trainer to fend them off.”

“Oh.” That was all very well reasoned. “Thank you, I guess.”

“That being said, I very much doubt they will come after you. I wouldn’t have asked you if I thought they might. However, I completely understand if you don’t want to take any more risks. It is your choice.”

“He had such a reassuring way about him, that in that moment I really did believe everything would be fine. And I think he did too.” If he is anything like Steven, I’m sure he would never have sent you willingly into harm’s way. “No. He wouldn’t have.”

“I’ll do it. I’d like to visit Dewford anyway.”

“Thank you very much, Ms. Kosugi.” His relief was even more gratifying than the genuine gratitude in his expression. “Once again, you are really getting us out of a bind. Will you need travel accommodations?”

“Ah, no sir, or I don’t think so anyway. Captain Briney offered me a ride.”

Mr. Stone smiled broadly. “Jim? Well, that works out very well then. He has a lovely boat, and his cottage is quite close. Do send him my regards. I haven’t seen the old rascal in quite some time.”

Tāraki climbed up her shoulder and wrapped his tail around her neck. “Will do, sir.”

...

Ren walked out of the Devon building with the prototype in her vapor box and her bag full of new tech. Mr. Stone had not been kidding about the trainer equipment; Ren had to admit she was pretty excited to try out her collapsible screen and use her new solar generator the next time she camped out. But the shine wore off quickly as her mind wandered, and she soon found herself watching her boots tromp down the sidewalk. Without Mr. Stone there to reassure her, doubt was creeping back in.

“That went well!” Tāraki piped up by her side.

“Yeah, he told us a lot more than I thought he would,” Ren admitted distantly.

Tāraki cocked his head, trying to look up at her face for a moment or two before giving up. “Though I guess I still don't understand all of it.”

“We should tell the others. Come on, I think there's a park nearby.”

It was small, like most things in Rustboro, but there was a pond with blooming lily pads and a pretty little gazebo. Ren let out the rest of her pokemon, and they listened as she and Tāraki explained the situation.

Ren expected them to say something when she was done—opinions, comments, at least one question—but none of them did.

“Are you really okay with this? I mean, I’m not even entirely sure what I’m getting us into.” She looked from one to the next and was met with nothing but mild confusion.

“You’re the leader,” said Akahana at length—deliberately, like she was explaining something obvious. “It’s your call, trainer.”

Iki nodded in agreement, and none of the others raised any objection.

“Wait, hang on, that’s not the way I want to run this team.” Ren swallowed, a little shocked at her own dismay, but it did nothing to keep the anxiety out of her voice. “It—it isn’t right. You’re my partners. I want your input.”

Hakeka grumbled, and Panahi nodded along. “Maybe not how I would have put it, but you have a point.” Ren gave her a questioning look, and Panahi elaborated. “It’s just that you’ve already accepted.”

“I would go give it back right now if it mattered to you!”

“I’m sure you would,” Panahi said delicately, obviously still at a loss for what exactly the issue was. “Do you not want to do it anymore?”

“No, I do.” Ren looked at them, hoping one of them would understand, give her something so she could stop sliding helplessly downwards.

They looked at each other, and Akahana’s tail twitched. Finally Hakeka grunted.

“What do you want from us?” Akahana translated.

“I just want to know what you think! I know I already explained things, and you all seemed okay with it, but maybe I didn’t really give you all a choice. I want to give you a choice. Besides, you’re all smart. I just thought—well, maybe we shouldn’t be relying on only my judgement all the time. Please just tell me what you think. Should we do this?”

There was another silence and a few more glances between the pokemon before Māia piped up. “Why not? Even if another one of those Magma trainers comes after us, we can totally take them. We’re strong!”

“That’s right!” said Tāraki. “We’re all getting to be pretty good battlers.”

“He said they probably wouldn’t know it was us anyway, r-right?” Iki asked. “It doesn’t seem too dangerous.”

“And we could use the money,” Akahana concluded.

The last two weren’t as forthcoming, so Ren prompted them. “Hakeka, what do you think?”

Hakeka snorted, followed by some gurgling.

“She thinks you worry too much,” said Tāraki. “Seems like a low risk with a high reward.”

“Ahi?”

“I agree with everyone else, Honey. But listen: it’s great that you want to know what we’re thinking and all, really it is, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have the final say in the end. You are the leader. You need to own your decisions and take responsibility.”

“I didn’t know why that made me so uncomfortable, so I didn’t say anything. And she was right: I am responsible.” Perhaps, but not for everything you think you are. “And what is that supposed to mean?” If you wouldn’t hear it from Steven, you will not listen to me. Not that he has any authority on the subject. “Then why are we talking about it?” My hope is that you will see it yourself. That is why we are doing this exercise. But it won’t work if you are so defensive. “Alright, I’ll try not to be.”

“I—thank you, Ahi.” Ren took a deep breath and nodded, face set. “Okay. We are going to do this, and I’ll take full responsibility for what happens. But I just want all of you to know that I never want to make you do anything you don’t want to do. You should be able to make your own decisions too.”

“Awesome! So when are we challenging the Gym?”

...

The Rustboro Gym stood out boldly from every other building in the city, not just in size but in architecture—if it could be called that. The exterior looked more like a jagged, natural rock formation than a human structure, yet it was still regular and purposeful. Ren wondered if it was pokemon-built. Kai confirmed for her that is was, more specifically, a team of Lunatone, Solrock, and Probopass.

The lobby doubled as a gallery of the Leader’s personal rock and fossil collection, much like Mr. Stone’s office. This one turned out to be more like a museum, albeit a small one, with informative plaques next to each case. The glass roof, which had been invisible from the outside, flooded the space with natural light. Beyond the desk at the back of the room was a thick glass wall that opened onto the arena. Kai hung back while Ren and Tāraki approached the receptionist.

“Hello miss,” the receptionist greeted her. “Ready to take the Gym Challenge?”

“Hell yeah!” Tāraki cheered, bouncing up and down on Ren’s shoulder.

“That’s right!” Ren echoed.

“And what badge will you be aiming for today?”

“My first.”

“Oh! I would have guessed second or third with a full team like yours.”

“I may have over-prepared a bit,” Ren admitted with a shrug.

“No such thing,” the receptionist responded with a smile. “I’ll just scan your trainer ID and get you started. Would you like to battle the Gym trainers at your badge level before the leader?”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright then. I’ll put you on the roster. You can enter the arena as soon as the other trainers are ready.” She fixed Ren with a knowing grin. “I don’t think you’ll need it, but good luck, Ms. Kosugi.”

Ren’s face began to twist into discomfort, but she covered it with a smile.

What did she say that upset you? “Living in a new region, surrounded by strangers, I kept forgetting that most of the League employees would already know me or at least recognize my name. The expectation would be enough, but I… I know Otōsan and I have a lot in common, but I like to think some things are different.” Is this another point we must revisit later? “Yeah. Won’t be able to avoid it.”

Kai went to look at one of the cases, and Ren and Tāraki to look out at the arena while the Gym staff and students prepared. Tāraki climbed the glass with his amazing toe pads to get a better view. It was significantly larger than standard and contained uneven terrain and rocky outcroppings rather than being packed flat. Massive fossilized skeletons loomed over the defending side, and the recessed viewing stands were almost hidden in the towering rock of the adjacent walls.

“It really is your kind of battlefield, no?” Ren asked Tāraki. He snickered gleefully back, wiggling in place while his face stayed glued to the glass. “We’re gonna crush this.”

Kai offered her a good luck handshake when it was time and went to sit in the stands with the Gym’s more experienced trainers and other spectators.

Ren sent out the rest of her team to watch, and the first trainer sent out a Binacle.

Ren nodded to Hakeka, and she trundled forward. The starting whistle sounded, and the Binacle fired off a Sand Attack, but Hakeka turned and received it with her cap, saving her eyes. Knowing the Binacle wouldn't move, Ren didn't have her wait for the dust cloud to clear before launching a Mega Drain that took it down.

The rest of the trainers went by nearly as fast. Tāraki faced a Dwebble and easily defeated it with his superior speed while Hakeka downed a Rolycoly, Roggenrola, and finally a Carbink with a combination of Leech Seed and Mega Drain.

When that was done, the Gym leader herself finally appeared. She looked younger than Ren knew her to be, though that may have been the twin buns on her head or short, stylish dress and colorful stockings. She walked out to the center of the arena to greet Ren.

“You’ve battled all of the badgeless trainers who are in at the moment. Very thorough.”

“It’s such a great opportunity for experience. I didn’t want to miss it.”

Roxanne smiled broadly. “Excellent. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Ren.” She extended a hand, and they shook.

“Likewise.”

“So are you and Stripes ready for your lesson?”

“Yep!” Ren chirped and then something hit her. “Wait, how did you know his nickname means stripes?”

“Oops! Uhhh…” Roxanne floundered, and Ren’s face pinched in pain.

“Oh Arceus, there’s not some kind of League chat that he talks about me in, is there?”

Roxanne chuckled sheepishly. “Yes, but you didn’t hear that from me.” Ren grabbed her head, posture shrinking with mortification. “Don’t worry about it! It’s not nearly as bad as when Wattson spams us with pictures of his grandkids. And Phoebe and Sidney are real shitposters… Come to think of it, Steven and I have been kicked off a few times for talking about fossils. Apparently we’re supposed to ‘keep that rock shit to ourselves’ and ‘not freak everyone out by blowing up the chat with eight-hundred-and-sixty-three messages.’”

That pulled a chuckle out of Ren. She had to wonder who was the admin if not the Champion, and who was reprimanding?

Roxanne smiled before leaning in, face suddenly stony, and she gripped Ren’s shoulder firmly. “But seriously, this conversation never took place.”

Ren snapped to attention. “Hai, sensei!”

Roxanne straightened up and smiled again. “I like you, Ren. Let’s get started.”

They paced back to their squares, and Roxanne sent out a Geodude.

“Alright, Shima, Knock ’em dead!”

Tāraki ran into the ring and tensed, whole body quivering with excitement.

“Celestine, Rock Throw!”

“Dodge and Mega Drain, Tāraki!”

The Geodude started hurling rocks, but Tāraki skittered out of the way and dove behind the nearest rock. He climbed it and leapt from one to the next, zig-zagging but drawing ever closer to his opponent. The next projectile flew over his head as he ducked and danced away from three more, grin broadening. He used the last as a stepping stone to reach the top of a high boulder and launched a Mega Drain at the spent Geodude.

“Nice one, Shima!”

“Tackle, Celestine!”

“Quick Attack!”

The Geodude lunged forward and leapt up, but Tāraki slammed its arm on his way down and knocked it off balance. It crashed into the side of the boulder and rolled to the floor.

“Tackle!”

“Mega drain!”

The Geodude charged, but Tāraki flipped over it, bouncing off its head with his hands. Before the Geodude could come around, Tāraki sapped its remaining strength, and it rolled to a stop. Roxanne withdrew it.

“Well done.” She sent out a Nosepass. “Akivi, let’s hem in this acrobat: Rock Tomb!”

The Nosepass’s palms glowed, and rocks began to hail down around Tāraki on all sides. He hopped around trying to avoid them but had nowhere to run and disappeared beneath them. His head popped out as a stone fell away, and he strained to free himself as the Nosepass prepared to hit him again.

“You can still hit her from there!” Ren called to him. “Use Mega Drain!”

Tāraki stopped struggling, charged, and fired. The Nosepass remained impassive, but Tāraki glowed as its energy flowed into him, and he burst out of the rock pile.

“Rock throw!”

Tāraki dashed from one piece of cover to the next as projectiles fired at him and shattered.

“Mega Drain!”

“Tackle!”

Tāraki stopped moving to charge up his attack, and the Nosepass ran at him. Tāraki’s Mega Drain landed, but the Nosepass was undeterred and crashed into him. He went flying back but landed on his feet on a bit of high ground.

“One more Mega Drain!”

“Rock Tomb!”

The Nosepass readied her attack, but Tāraki was faster. The rocks she was lifting fell to the floor before she could fire them. Tāraki puffed out his chest as the last of her energy flowed into him. The Nosepass drooped ever so slightly and was still. Roxanne withdrew her.

“Congratulations you two!” Roxanne called, withdrawing her pokemon. She walked down into the arena to meet Ren in the middle. Tāraki leapt down, and Ren caught him in her arms, holding him to her chest as he squeezed her neck.

“You’ve certainly demonstrated you know the basics.” Roxanne continued. “Plenty of trainers can win their first badge with a simple type advantage, but the way you countered my attacks shows dedicated practice and solid strategy.” She pulled a small box out of her pocket and offered it to them. “I’ve rarely been so happy to hand over a badge.”

“Thank you,” said Ren, and the strain in her tone took her by surprise. She should be happy about this. She had been a moment ago, but now a familiar dread clawed at the back of her throat, squeezed her ribs. She remembered the heat coursing through her veins as she directed Tāraki, and her arm gave a throb.

“And Ren.” She wrenched herself back out of her head to look Roxanne in the eyes. “Good luck with whatever you decide. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do.”

The pressure in her chest lifted and sighed back into position. A smaller smile returned as Tāraki wriggled up around her neck to get back to his usual spot on her shoulder. “I won't.”

Ren thanked her again as they parted and walked slowly back to the rest of her team waiting in the challenger’s square. Even after all that strain, Tāraki’s tail waggled with frenetic energy behind her head.

“Well, Tāraki, is it everything you hoped and dreamed?”

“Hell yeah it was!” he crowed, and Māia whooped, pale underwings flashing. “That was so much fun!” Ren couldn’t help but smile, and Tāraki grinned back at her. “Although, I wouldn’t have minded evolving super dramatically in the middle of the match like Jay.”

Ren laughed. “Maybe next time.” She held up the badge to him. “Should I put this away or do you want to wear it?”

“I don’t care about that thing. No offense. I mean it’s shiny and whatever, but I don’t need it. I just want to battle like that again! Really push myself, you know? That was seriously awesome!”

“You were seriously awesome. I’ll take it into consideration.”

“I’m taking the next Gym!” Māia reminded them, shoving Tāraki’s tail aside to claim Ren’s other shoulder.

Kai came bounding out of the stands. “You did so well! That was such a cool battle! Using the terrain like that—all those awesome flips Tāraki was doing—we have to battle again!”

“Alright,” said Ren, stifling a giggle.

“But you probably have to get going…” He stared down at his feet.

“We’ll see each other in a week, just north of Slateport, right?” He glanced at her as he nodded, and she flashed him a big smile. She wasn’t sure which of them needed the reassurance. “Train hard between all the science or we’re gonna beat you into the ground!”

“We will!”

This time, when she hugged him, it wasn't stiff.

“Um, could you maybe do me a favor though?”

“Sure! What's up?”

“Could you get me Steven Stone’s autograph?”

#ORAS #nuzlocke #storylocke #Mr. Stone #Roxanne #Ren #Kai #Taraki #Akahana #Iki #Panahi #Maia #Hakeka #lgbtq #chapter

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wereallbarredfromheaven-blog · 5 years

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Music Business Loans and Grants: How to Spend It

Suppose you've been sufficiently fortunate to discover somebody to put resources into your record mark or other music venture, or even that you have some money of your own that you're prepared to put towards what you're doing. You have the money close by, yet the crucial step isn't finished yet. Presently, you need to make sense of how to spend the cash you do have shrewdly. There are a couple of reasons why making the correct calls with your music business advance or speculation matters:

The most clear reason not to blow the cash you have is, well, you won't have any cash left. Be that as it may, beside the typical handy utilizations of being down and out, maybe, overspending on one piece of the procedure of your task will abandon you with no cash to for different parts. That implies, for example, that on the off chance that you blow all the cash on the squeezing of your collection, you won't have any cash left for advancement

The cash you get may accompany strings appended. This is particularly valid in the event that you get cash from an expressions committee (indeed, I know, an outside plan to US perusers, yet they're out there), yet in case you're managing a financial specialist in your business, this could matter also. You no uncertainty needed to disclose to any individual who is financing you what your arrangements are and where you anticipate that the cash should go. They'll anticipate that you should stay on course you exhibited to them, in any event by and large terms.

Flubbing your financing once could affect your odds of getting supported lateron.

Along these lines, plainly, the choices you make about organizing your costs are critical, however they're not in every case simple. Here, we should investigate some normal music business situations and how to deal with them. To begin with, the little print. Not these situations will apply to you - it relies upon the task you've been dealing with. Additionally, this guidance is general in nature. Step by step instructions to best spend your cash relies upon your particular conditions - above all else, how flush with money you are. This guidance is outfitted towards the individuals who are truly juggling their costs, however there's a piece of truth in there for the vast majority, regardless of how profound your pockets are.

Collection Pressing Costs

Suppose you have a non mainstream mark. You're preparing to discharge a collection, and you're endeavoring to choose on the off chance that you need to press up the collection on CD and bundle it in a gem case with a two or four page booklet, which you believe is somewhat ho-murmur, or on the off chance that you need to squeeze it on CD, bundle it in a digipack or a gem case with a 16 page booklet AND press it on vinyl, which, goodness, wouldn't it be so cool to put something out on vinyl?!?! What do you do?

All things considered, most likely the appropriate response is evident here. You go for the basic first choice. It might not have every one of the extravagant accessories, however things like digipacks and long booklets truly lift the expense of creation in a rush, and you don't get much profit for that venture. Indeed, cool work of art and bundling are bunches of fun, yet you need to spend astutely currently to come to the heart of the matter where you can stand to do that sometime in the future. With respect to vinyl, well, it costs a fortune, and it's difficult to sell. Try not to misunderstand me, for certain styles of music, vinyl is truly essential, and indeed, when individuals love vinyl, they LOVE vinyl.

In case you're one of them, you may be persuaded that vinyl is the path forward. On the off chance that your companions love vinyl, at that point you'll REALLY be persuaded that vinyl will make you rich. It won't. It's an extravagance. Be keen toward the begin, and you'll have the capacity to enjoy your vinyl dreams sometime in the not so distant future.

Obviously, in the event that you truly need to set aside extra cash, you could select an advanced discharge and test out the enthusiasm for the collection you're discharging before you press printed copies (or may choose you don't have to press by any stretch of the imagination). Furthermore, on the off chance that you need some all the more persuading about vinyl, consider Factory Records, who lost cash on each duplicate sold of their greatest selling 12" - Blue Monday by New Order. Would you truly like to implore no ones purchases your collection so you can pay your lease?

Demo Recording

You are very brave melodies, and you think you'd like to send them out to some name to perceive what occurs. You can record your demo at home, however your chronicle abilities are so-in this way, and you're stressed that your demo will sound so amateurish the names won't pay attention to you. Your other decision is to book some studio time to record your tunes genius style. What do you do?

Regardless of whether you have financing for the collection you're making (and indeed, in certain spots, expressions boards will finance individuals to compose melodies), in case you're recording a demo, don't spend your cash on a studio. On the off chance that your motivation is genuinely to shop your melodies around, marks truly, sincerely are set up for demos to be unpleasant. They anticipate it. A few people feel that having their demo expertly recorded and giving it complete broad fine art and liner notes demonstrates that they're not kidding about their music. In all honesty, now and again, it can really make somewhat of an awful impression—it's only a misuse of cash that looks somewhat credulous.

Your cash would be better put resources into some sort of home account framework so you can plug away at your astoundingly up. Truly, individuals do record demos in studios, however that is best left to individuals who are as of now offering a few records and can bear the cost of it. For the time being, you have better approaches to spend your money.

The special case? On the off chance that the thing you're pursuing isn't generally a demo at everything except rather a promotion. On the off chance that you intend to attempt and sell your chronicles, at that point a studio might be all together.

Employing PR

You have a collection prepared for discharge, presently you should simply advance it. You can do the advancement yourself, yet you're not by any means beyond any doubt what you're doing. Your other decision is to contract a music PR organization to deal with the work for you. What's the best choice?

This one is somewhat precarious. Advancement is to a great extent about contacts, contacts, contacts, and when you contract a PR organization, you're truly paying for access to their contacts. Having said that, there's no genuine enchantment equation. Everybody doing advancement had their first day at work, in a manner of speaking. You need to begin some place, so there's no reason you can't develop those gets in touch with yourself, with loads of persistence, explore (and a tough skin). Be that as it may, do you have sufficient energy, or want, to do it?

First of all, PR is costly. While thinking about whether it is a beneficial speculation, consider the collection you're discharging. What are the odds that it will truly get prominent surveys in national media/radio plays? On the off chance that it's a first collection by an obscure craftsman, that is an extreme fight notwithstanding for a PR organization. You might be in an ideal situation doing your promotion in-house, developing the same number of provincial audits as you can while ensuring the nationals in any event realize you're out there, and afterward enlisting PR for the following discharge.

With that basis set up, you're giving them something that has a battling shot of getting took note. Then again, if the collection you're discharging as of now has that foundation set up or as of now has a buzz, at that point PR can be an incredible speculation.

The main concern for PR? It relies upon your discharge. Likewise, remember that distinctive PR organizations spread diverse pieces of the media. One approach to find some middle ground on the off chance that you can't decide on PR is to procure an organization with great radio contacts and do the print media yourself. Radio is inconceivably hard to get into, so having somebody with a foot in the entryway on your side can be a generally amazing thing.

Visit Support

You have a record name, and one of the groups/craftsmen you work with is intending to go on visit to advance their new discharge - and they need you to contribute to the expense. Would it be advisable for you to do it?

This is another dubious one. Visiting is exorbitant. In all respects expensive. Anyway much you figure it will cost, it will be more than that. What's more, ordinarily, free craftsman simply beginning aren't making enough cash to try and verge on earning back the original investment. Along these lines, requesting that the name pay visit support is a quite run of the mill and reasonable solicitation. All things considered, visiting is extraordinary advancement for a record, and their visiting may help both of you. In the meantime, most non mainstream names loathe giving visit support, since it's difficult to evaluate whether it's a decent venture.

While a visit may expand the buzz around a craftsman, it may not convert into deals immediately, or enough.

Where does that abandon you? It comes down to an informed decision. To start with, realize that many, numerous outside the box marks won't considerably consider paying visit support. On the off chance that there is sufficient cash in the coffers to help spread the expenses of the visit, and you like contributing, put it all on the line. Be that as it may, don't hold back on other imperative costs to rub together the cash for visit support. Likewise remember that you may have just added to the visit "in kind." If you booked the shows—which numerous non mainstream marks wind up doing—you have spared the band the commission an operator would charge for taking every necessary step.

In the event that you're advancing the visit in-house, at that point that is another cost you're covering. In like manner, in the event that you have your PR organization complete an extraordinary battle for the visit, you're now acquiring cost for the visit. Different things to remember when weighing up visit support:

Your arrangement with the craftsman—on the off chance that you have the craftsman bolted into a multi-collection bargain (quite uncommon for outside the box names), putting resources into a visit may be a not too bad thing over the long haul, since you have a superior shot of receiving the benefits. In the event that your arrangement is progressively adaptable, there isn't much explanation behind you to pay for a visit for a craftsman whose next collection you're not going to work.

Does your agreement say anything regarding visit support?

In the event that you pay visit support, will that be a recoupable expense against the craftsman's record?

What amount is the craftsman going to make on the visit? Things might be diverse at greater names, however for an outside the box mark, you're somewhat in things together. On the off chance that they will make a benefit from the visit, at that point it's not to your greatest advantage to contribute any money. For more in-depth information about Music Entertainment . I highly recommend this website Music Entertainment

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md3artjournal · 5 years

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venting angst productivity failure time sleep practice progression

12:10 AM 3/25/2019

My daily figure photo series "Waiting for Ryuji" plus the daily/monthly drawing challenges I keep doing, are both destroying my days. x____x; It's been more than a week, and I haven't even finished the 23 paopu halves plushies I was supposed to do within 1-2 days! I have so many projects to do for artist alley in early July! ;O; So many new products I want to make, but I have no energy! It's becoming clearer that I only have energy for 1 (maybe 2) projects per day! ;O; That's just the 2 daily art projects/challenges to keep my art muscle in shape! ;~; Aughhhhh! ;o;!

Thank goodness I take notes for how long it takes me to draw different stages of a drawing, or else I would never have noticed I've been taking 3 hours per sketch. O~o?!!!! How is that?! I'm not trying to be polished with those! That was supposed to save time! I mean, I'm not doing all-nighters anymore, like I did for Inktober 2017, so that's an improvement. But 3 hours?!????????? It takes me 10 minutes to do the primary sketch. I know I can have problems designing a costume or conceptualizing a monster design, but 2 hours and 50 minutes?!?!?!?????? Omg... I'm so hopeless. Is this worth keeping my illustration muscles/skills in shape? I've already accepted that I'm not an illustrator. I suck too much. I usually call myself a crafter, a jewelery, or a clay sculptor...Even though I've been drawing more frequently than ANY of those in a LONG time. x~x;;;; Is all this time really worth just TRYING to become better at drawing? ;~; I wanted to be able to nurture this skill so I could express myself with drawings, whenever I needed to express something. But today was "Kiss Ryuji Day" and I was still too intimidated to draw anything for it, because I'm too afraid of how bad my attempts always turn out. I couldn't even draw a good hug between Ryuji and Akira during OTPtember2018! (It was such a bad drawing...That I tried SO hard on! ;_; ) I mean, I have to admit that I could turn some of my Magical March and MerMay challenge drawings into merch for artist alley, but objectively, none of it is good. It's good *for me*, but compared to the competition in artist alley...What am I even doing there?!? Looking at my sales data, the answer is I'm selling polymer clay sculptures, so again the question becomes, why am I using so much time to learn to draw, just so I can express myself, when it eats all my time away from making more clay sculptures that actually sell? Is being able to express myself such a hang-up for me? ...Yeah. ~.~;

So what about the figure photography? I'll admit that those answers are simple. It's a good way to practice an "eye" for composition, lighting, posing, etc. I suck at it, and I don't put much effort into my lighting to mean anything against such greats as Kixkillradio, Love Pink Cheeks, Nendo Stories, etc. When I look at their stuff, I can recognize how little I'm trying, and I have to ask myself "why am I even trying?". Considering my self-expression fixation, figure photography is a good fill-in medium until I can better develop my drawing skills. And I did originally start collecting figures to use as drawing models, which unavoidably funnels me into figure photography, so it's not like it's something I'll fully stop doing even if I stop setting up photoshoots and dioramas. But I also really like making miniatures, figure accessories, diorama props, etc. My sister said something like that if something makes me happy I shouldn't feel guilty about it and I should pursue it. Whether I vent about how terrible I am for spending so much money on Nendoroids or when I refrain from buying supplies that could make my life less irritating out of frugality. Maybe just feeling happy from doing figure photography is enough to justify it. So maybe I shouldn't stop. ...But I need to stop spending hours on Photoshop elements for figure comics. That needs to seriously cut down, especially for a daily photo project.

I know it never works when I resolve to stick to a schedule, but I really need to cut down how much time I use for these daily art projects, when artist alley is in a few months. I don't outsource my products. I have to make each and every one by hand. That's the curse of the crafter. I need to use more time for these crafts. Jewelry, sculpting, designing, problem solving fabrication, etc...It's all stuff I love to do and once I start I don't want to stop... But at this rate, I'm never going to get to it. And then it'll just be a repeat of my horrible history. Sure, last year I was able to finally make enough polymer clay Wayfinders to not sell-out my entire stock, half-way through Anime Expo---for once! But it was still a situation of crunch time focused only towards my essential products and past best sellers, vs the thing I really wanted to do, which is making new products as well. I waste so much time watching productivity videos, trying gameified motivation apps, and so much time wasted trying bullet journal techniques, thinking that if I just use this tracker or try this analog gameification technique, I'll finally stick to a schedule and thus be able to do everything I need and want to do.... But it always fails. I really can't do more than 1 thing reliably per day. And I have to practice daily to keep my skills up---my skills are too low to keep it to a once-per-week practice session.

And it's started to wear down on me how much all these attempts and failures at a schedule are ruining my sleep cycle. Everyday, there's a midnight I don't manage to get into bed on time, or a midnight in which I don't manage to be truly productive before midnight, so I have to stay up to get something done so I can go to bed, feeling good about myself as a person. It's not as bad as school, but it is still a daily sense of failure, like school. I recall the months (years?) that I resolved to no longer try to have a normal person's sleep schedule and just simply work on my projects as long as I have the will for, and than collapse into bed whenever. I worked hard to have no social life, to have no one in my life vying for my time, so I should have no need to live in the same Time as anyone else. But I had a breakdown last year, where I had to accept that I wanted the revive the good relationship I used to have with my mom, and I had to resolve to put some effort towards that. So now I guess I have to live in the same Time as other people. So I can't just be noctural and asleep while everyone else in my life is awake. Yesterday, I think they tried to wake me to go to my uncle's birthday party/luncheon/dinner, but I sleep during the day and wake at night now. I don't have FOMO for parties, being an introvert, but the next time---or rather how many times has my mom wanted to spend time together and I'm just in a different Time than her? They go to movies every Tuesday sometimes invite me, haven't mentioned it in a long while, and for the past 2 weeks, I haven't even been able to be awake enough to go to two movies I've wanted to watch during the Tuesday-discounts. Even right now, I'm staying up late again because I got sleepy during the day, and had to nap (and quite frankly I get better quality and more productive recuperation during daytime naps) so now I'm all rested to be awake...and it's past midnight. Last week I finally got to a place where my sleep cycle more resembled a normal person's pattern, after 2+ weeks of work towards that. And then one or 2 projects that went into the night, and all that progress was gone. Sleeping like a normal person wouldn't be such an issue for me if I would actually be rested enough to be awake for when I want to get to work. But I can't sleep even when I'm trying to sleep. I'm amazed how spectacularly my attempts to sleep fail whenever I get to bed early ("early" as in a normal person's sleep pattern). Is this all a lost cause? Just like the rest of my life?

Ugh. I need to eat and sleep.

2:13 AM 3/25/2019 Earlier today, my mom seemed to imply we could watch a movie on cable together, but I was in the moddle of a project. I was fixated on a project instead, since sleep/fatigue had taken all my time, so the rare moments of productive will I have, I don't like to let go of it whenever I happen to have it. It may ruin me, but in the end, I'd rather pay the cost of an all-nighter to get a good piece done, and have something as proof that I can be proud of myself (as well as use for artist alley for years to come), vs getting sleep on a normal person's pattern and have done nothing that stretched me beyond the limitations I thought I had. I like that proof of worth. (I've been seeing posts lately about "your productivity/skill is not your self worth" but I can't completely buy into that for myself anyway.) With my lack of memory and sense of self disappearing along with it, having artwork left along the way, as proof of who I was, what I'm capable of, and as concrete encouragement, proving that I can do great things, I have that inside me, even if those "great" things are just stretching beyond my subjective limitations by only milimeters...those are memories and senses of myself that I want and value. ...And having new pieces in stock, ready to be turned into new artist alley products at the last minute, while I'm feeling bad that I hadn't had time to make anything new, is also great.

#please ignore my idiocy

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sansa-of-oldstones · 6 years

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In The Chaos - Chapter 4

Finally finished another chapter of this modern au I refuse to abandon.

Chapter 1/ Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Also on Ao3

It’s weeks before Brandon Stark graces them with his presence. Jon had heard of him. Stark Technologies was responsible for a majority of the advancements Jon had seen in his lifetime, and Brandon Stark was its CEO. He’s famous for more than his name, and filthy stinking rich. From what Jon had heard, he’s also a bit of an asshole, and nothing like his brothers. He was anxious to meet this man no one seemed fond of.

He sat next to Sansa in the conference room the hospital had let them use. Robb glared at the clock on the wall from across the table.

“He should have been here ten minutes ago.” Sansa shared her brother’s disapproval.

“He’ll be here.” Benjen promised. Jon had heard Benjen on the phone with who he could only assume was Brandon. Benjen may be younger, but he wasn’t taking any of Brandon’s shit. “It was a long flight.”

“Don’t make excuses for him.” Robb warned. “We still like you.”

Brandon joined them shortly thereafter, wearing a suit that fit him perfectly, and sunglasses Jon knew to be expensive. Before his father was hired to be a part of Ned Stark’s guard, he’d worked for people like Brandon. The fancy clothes, and expensive accessories. Jon knew the type.

A young man not too much older than Jon and Robb stood beside Brandon. Probably the son of an employee, or someone Brandon owed a favor too, Jon decided. Brandon’s eyes landed on Jon while he was greeting Benjen.

“Good gods.” Brandon shook his head. “You didn’t look like Ned when you were little, but you sure as the seven hells do now.”

Jon stared at him awkwardly.

“Brandon, that isn’t your nephew.” Benjen sighed, turning him toward Robb. “This is your nephew.”

“Robb.” He gritted through his teeth, and introduced himself to his uncle.

“That makes a lot more sense.” Brandon nodded. “You must be Sansa. It’s lovely to finally meet you, my dear. I’m sorry it took so long.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Sansa was as sweet as can be, remembering her manners, but Jon knew it was only courtesy.

“So, you’re the ward...” Brandon turned once again to Jon.

“Jon.” He corrected him. He would not be known as the ward.

“Benny, is there something you’re not telling me about Jon here?” Brandon wondered, making Jon uncomfortable.

“No.” Benjen shrugged, taking the paperwork from in front of Davos.

“So, it’s a coincidence that I feel like a grumpy, teenage Ned is sitting right in front of me?” Brandon asked. “It’s a bit unnerving.”

Perhaps it was guilt. Or grief. Grief can do strange things to the mind, Jon knew.

“Just sign the paperwork.” Benjen shoved the paperwork into Brandon’s chest.

“Am I allowed to read it first?” Brandon smirked. “Always read what you sign, children. Let that be my first lesson to you all.”

“Who’s your friend?” Benjen looked Brandon’s associate over.

“This is Theon Greyjoy.” Brandon answered, still reading. “He’s interning with me.”

“Greyjoy?” Benjen laughed. “How’d a Greyjoy end up interning with you?”

“I applied.” Theon was confident. Jon didn’t like his attitude. He didn’t appreciate the way he was speaking to Benjen. “What’s it to you?”

“Wanted off the Iron Islands, did ya?”

“Where are the others?” Brandon handed Davos the paperwork. “There are three other children?”

“They’re upstairs in the game room.” Davos told him, organizing the papers into a file. He looked tired, Jon thought. It was understandable. The younger Starks were giving them all a run for their money. Bran was miserable, and pissed off at the world. Robb was preoccupied looking out for Bran, and Arya and Rickon felt slighted. Rickon listened to Sansa most of the time, but Arya listened to no one. She was missing her parents, Robb, and Bran. She was acting out. She had taken to influencing Rickon. Jon woke up a few nights before to neither of them in their bed. He found them soaking wet in the lobby. They had snuck into the kitchen, and the pool. They got stranded downstairs without a key. They were lucky they didn’t drown, and Jon had words with the employee at the front desk who was supposed to lock the door to the kitchen and pool. He didn’t tell anyone else. Davos was getting grey hair, and Benjen already had enough to deal with. He knew Sansa would sleep even less. He was satisfied with Arya and Rickon promising to not leave the hotel room alone again.

The game room was a life saver, and a great source of motivation for a recovering Bran. It took a couple weeks, and a lot of patience, but he was now able to sit safely in a wheelchair. When they left to meet with Brandon, he was playing air hockey with Arya.

“How is young Brandon?” Brandon wondered, and Jon noticed Sansa discreetly roll her eyes. Jon could almost hear Bran insisting he was named after Bran The Builder, not their estranged uncle. “I’ve been worried.”

“Have you?” Robb sassed, the sarcasm obvious.

“Robb...” Benjen attempted to intercede, but Robb was not having it.

“It’s been weeks.” Robb raged, clenching his fists. “He wasn’t scared out of his mind while Bran was having surgery. He wasn’t up all night with him after, terrified to lose him too. He hasn’t helped him with therapy. He wasn’t even here for his brother’s funeral. He hasn’t been here.”

He hadn’t visited the ruins of the library, searching for answers they wouldn’t find. He hadn’t had the nightmares. Noises probably didn’t send his heart racing. He hasn’t been traumatized. Jon understood Robb’s anger. It was weirdly comforting. Misery loves company.

“There were matters I needed to attend to.” Brandon offered. “I couldn’t just drop everything going on in my life.”

“Some of us didn’t have a choice.” Jon swore Robb snarled. “Uncle Benjen has responsibilities, and he’s been here. I had plans to go to The Vale, but I guess those went up in smoke with everything else. Bran had plans too. We all did.”

“That’s enough.” Benjen placed hand on Robb’s shoulder.

“It needed to be said.” Robb defended himself. “I won’t apologize.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

“You can still go to The Vale.” Brandon sounded sincere.

“No, I can’t.”

“Why don’t we head upstairs.” Davos suggested, hoping to ease the tension. “You can meet the other children.”

They were still playing air hockey when Davos opened the door to the game room.

“That’s seven!” Bran cheered, bringing Rickon into a headlock. “We win!”

“You have Rickon cheating!” Arya whined. “It isn’t fair!”

“You didn’t have a problem with us being a team before we beat you.” Bran pushed the brakes of his wheelchair back so he could move. “Victory lap!”

He circled around the table with Rickon on his lap. Rickon laughed loudly in delight when Bran popped a wheelie. Jon smiled. He’d been working on that for days. It was nice to see them acting like kids again.

“I demand a rematch!” Arya pouted, and noticed their arrival. “Robb or Jon can be on my team!”

“I’m getting tired.” Bran stopped, and Rickon lowered himself off of his brother. “Sorry.”

“Liar.”

“Arya, leave him be.” Robb told her sternly. “Come meet Uncle Brandon.”

“He is lying.” Arya insisted, and shuffled over to them. “Hi.”

“You look just like your aunt.” Brandon smiled at her. Jon had never heard anything about the Starks having an aunt. Brandon tousled Bran’s hair while Rickon hid behind Benjen. “I know you’re all sick of the south. Home is almost ready. Some accommodations for Bran needed to be made.”

“It’s a long trip north.” Robb huffed protectively. “He still needs therapy three times a day.”

“There are perfectly capable therapists up there willing to work with him.”

“I can go home?!”

“When will it be ready?” Arya was curious, and anxious to leave King’s Landing. She was happy, hopeful.

“I’ve been told a week, but I’m hoping sooner.”

Everyone but Sansa seemed excited. Jon understood it. Going home meant being surrounded by memories of those she lost. It was easier to escape in the hotel.

A few days later, they flew north on Brandon’s plane. Unlike Theon Greyjoy, Jon remained unimpressed. He had a plane, and it still took him this long to be with his nieces, nephews, and brother. It was clear the man had other priorities. Quite frankly, Jon was disgusted.

Everything that was theirs from the Prime Minister’s residence was packed up, and put in storage a couple days after the assassinations. It was waiting for them at Winterfell when they arrived, something that annoyed them all. They would have liked to pack their own belongings, but that wasn’t an option.

“Sansa!” Arya screamed, knowing Sansa’s room was closest to her own. Jon’s new room was down the hall. She was kneeling next to Arya, consoling her when Jon got there. “This is Mom’s! They put it in one of my boxes! This is why I wanted to pack!”

“They put one of Dad’s notebooks in mine.” Sansa soothed her. “I wanted to rip it apart.”

“I just want it to stop hurting!” Arya sobbed. “Get it out of my room!”

It felt like a very personal moment, and Jon felt like he should leave, but he doesn’t. He blinked, and his face was wet. Unless there was something that belonged to his father in his boxes, Jon had nothing of his parents. He barely even remembered his mother. He wasn’t even sure if the memories he has are real, or if he made them up to fill the void her absence left in his life. He’d give anything to have his mother’s necklace, or his father’s notebook.

Sansa held the velvet case, and looked at the necklace that upset Arya so much. “Maybe she wanted you to have it.”

“I don’t want it.” Arya wiped her face. “It’s hers.”

“I’ll hold on to it for you.”

“I don’t care.” Arya sighed. “As long as it’s out of my room.”

“Uncle Benjen brought some cookies from that bakery in Wintertown.” Sansa stood up. “I’m going to have some.”

“Are there lemon cake ones?” She had Arya’s interest. “I like those.”

“Gods, I hope so.”

“I read that you shouldn’t eat your feelings.” Arya worried, following her, and seeing Jon. “Jon? What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t answer. He wanted to tell Jon to answer that he’s fine, but Jon wasn’t listening. This had happened before. The therapists his father took him to when he was younger called it dissociation. His mind conveniently pretends he isn’t Jon when it sucks to be Jon. It’s kind of like when you’re little, and pretend you’re invisible. Did other kids play that game, he wondered, while Sansa and Arya tried to talk to Jon. It had been happening more since that day everything went to shit.

“Let’s go downstairs.”

“He’s crying.” Yes, Jon was leaking like a faucet, and there was no stopping it.

“Go downstairs.” Sansa urged, eyeing Jon. Arya does not go downstairs. He was aware of them looking at Jon blubbering like an idiot, but he simply had to wait it out.

“I’m okay.” He was Jon again. “Just tired.”

“You’re all a bunch of liars.” Arya shook her head. “I’m going to eat my feelings.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“That was not nothing.” Sansa stared at him. He didn’t blame her. “Are you back with us?”

“I check out sometimes when I get upset.”

“This has happened before?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Whatever you say.” Sansa grumbled, and brushed past him.

“I’m sorry.” Jon had no idea how to explain it. “I can’t help it.”

“I’m just missing when a bad day was a day it rained after I straightened my hair.”

“That is a bad day.” Jon followed her downstairs.

“I can’t tell if you’re teasing me.”

“I’m too tired to tease anyone.” Jon explained. Dissociating was exhausting. “I know what you mean, though. Rain is not a friend to this hair. It means I have to wear a hat or a hood.”

“Does it happen a lot?”

“When I lived a tropical climate, yes.”

“I meant checking out.”

“Don’t worry about it.” They walked into the kitchen. They could see Arya on the front porch, eating her cookies.

“You were catatonic.” Sansa snapped. “Is it still catatonic if you’re crying?”

He was impressed she knew what catatonic meant.

“I’m fully aware of what’s going on.” Jon answered. “I’m Jon, but not. It’s like an out of body experience.”

“Does anyone know?”

“My Dad did.” Jon nodded. “He tried to help. He did.”

“Okay.” Sansa looked through the box on the table. “I won’t tell anyone, but I can’t guarantee Arya won’t.”

“It’s fine.” She passed the box to him. “They’re bound to notice anyway.”

“Does anything help?”

“Not really.” He knew he just had to wait it out until it was over. “Thank you, though.”

Rickon and Robb were out in the yard with Benjen. He wanted to tell Sansa how lucky Rickon is. He’d only had his father. He wanted to tell her how worried he is about her little brother. He didn’t want Rickon to be like him. He doesn’t tell her. She had enough to worry about.

Next chapter will be a couple of years later, so that is it for this time in their story. They’re all a mess, and I’m sorry. This has kind of taken on a life of its own. You can probably tell Jon has been a mess for a while. More on that later. I wanted to really focus on him, and his grief this chapter. Also, I wanted to show Arya and Sansa starting to become closer because I need that. Reminder that they will be happy, eventually. Slowburn happiness. Is that a thing? Note: Jon’s mother died when he was four, like Rickon. It was extremely traumatic for him, for reasons that will be discussed later. He sees a lot of himself in Rickon, and that’s why. I want to make it clear that he was very loved by his parents. It’s how he lost them that led to him being such a mess.

#jonsa #jonsa fic #my writing #the modern au i refuse to abandon #they're all a hotmess express #i'm sorry #kind of miss my fluffy au

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symbioteburnout · 6 years

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What annoys me the most about Andi not having a symbiote anymore, and the fact that her getting one again is looking more and more unlikely, is that it took away one of the things that made her unique as a character.

Not to say that Andi with fire powers isn’t cool, I mean, I’m at least grateful they didn’t completely de-power her, but what’s supposed to make Andi any different from all the other characters who have fire powers, (Firestar, Magma, Sunspot, Pyro, Human Torch, Hellstrom, etc) besides her Hellmark?

I mean, we have so many Spider-women and Spider-girls. Jessica, Mayday, Anya, Gwen, Silk, Ashley, hell, even Mary Jane Watson is a spider in another continuity.

When it comes to symbiote women, the list is limited, some of the notable ones were Scream, the two She-Venoms (Patricia Robertson and Anne Weying), and Scorn (I’m sure there was probably more). Doesn’t help that most of the women who wore a symbiote either wound up dead, or forgotten (does anyone know what happened to Scorn?).

What made Andi/Mania different was that, up until now, we never had a ‘symbiote girl’ before, we had several Spider-Girls but never a Venom Girl.

What was one thing that stood out to me most about Agent Venom and Mania was that, for people who wore Venom suits, they had their own unique looks (Flash with his special ops outfit and Andi with all her spiked accessories and hair), rather than just being generic blacksuit spider-man duplicates.

Andi had, essentially, lost everything when she became Mania, her dad, her home (yeah she did move in with her Aunt, but the point still stands), she used the symbiote as a way to cope with that loss. Flash even notes that Andi is a natural with it, and bonded much faster than other hosts. She had so much potential, she was something new, she IS something new, and Marvel squandered her.

Since her first appearance back in Venom Vol.2 back in 2013, Andi’s only had three other appearances as Mania, one in Venom Space Knight (where she’s a plot device to motivate Flash back to Earth), Venomverse (where she actually got treated with a modicum of decency, thank you Mr. Bunn), and the recently concluded Venom inc. (where she’s once again used as a plot device, comes back and gets beaten up by Spider-man, gets pushed into the background, and then doesn’t get her symbiote back for literally no reason).

There is so much wasted potential with just leaving Andi on the shelf until it’s convenient to bring her back. So much wasted potential by leaving her symbiote with a character that no one asked for and who doesn’t deserve it.

Marvel, you seriously need to stop wasting Andi and stop letting her fade into obscurity. Either give her symbiote back, give her another symbiote (either give her a piece of Anti-Venom or a new one), or, if you’re going to push the Hellfire thing, use her in a comic with the Ghost Rider or monster teams. Quit sidelining her until it’s convenient for you, quit taking away the things that make her stand out!

#GiveAndiBentonBackHerSymbiote

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metawitches · 4 years

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In episode 5 of Snowpiercer, LJ goes to trial for her part in the murders of Sean and Nikki, Josie goes uptrain to search for Andre and Miss Audrey takes action to ensure that Melanie will get Nikki the justice she deserves. The Folgers pressure Melanie to go easy on LJ. Bess moves in with Jinju and gets a 2nd class chip implant to go with her bourgeois 2nd class privileges.

It’s a tough episode for Melanie, but she manages to find some stress relief.

Recap

We begin with Andre, who is sealed up tight in a drawer. He normally looks so robust, despite 7 years in the Tail, but now he has a grayish cast to his skin. The version of kronole used as a suppression drug is so poisonous that it gives the entire body a death pall, while turning the insides jet black, which can be seen externally by viewing the gums.

As Nikki claimed, it’s not like sleep. He’s having a combination of flashbacks and dreams. He’s back in the Tail, reliving memories of subduing the cannibal cult. That story was real, and largely happened the way he told it, if these dreams reflect reality. But he killed the cult leaders alone, at the insistence of the rest of the Tail, using a shiv they’d created, instead of the story about group solidarity overcoming an evil villain that Andre told in the Drawers.

The Tail leaders did all share in eating the heart, including Josie, Pike, Last Australian, Z-Wreck, Strong Boy, Big John and Lights.

Interspersed with his memories, Andre hears Nikki singing Sealed with a Kiss, the Bobby Vinton song that LJ played for him. He repeatedly sees Nikki’s bloody, mutilated body standing at the end of an aisle in the Drawers, singing the song, staring at him as if she’s the evil little girl in a horror movie.

Was it trading away the ring that doomed him?

Andre knows that he hasn’t really gotten justice for Nikki. He’s gotten an errand boy killed as a literal sacrificial lamb and sent a 1st Class designer accessory out to take the fall, so the mob can feel like someone uptrain paid for the murders of Thirdies.

The person or people who are really responsible, the ones who ordered all of the murders, are still untouchable, free to order more murders when someone gets too close to their business dealings or secrets.

Layton thought he could put his revolution above individual justice, but his dreams are keeping him honest. The bodies of the victims have probably gotten progressively more gruesome with each murder because they’re being used to send harsher and harsher warnings.

Has his subconscious mind figured out who’s ordering the murders, and who they’re warning off?

Miss Audrey’s spoken voiceover: “I see now that as the Freeze killed everyone I ever knew, I mistook my survival for freedom. But justice never boarded and Wilford doubled down with a jackboot on our throats and a fat finger on the scales. Now, some of us are ready to change his terms. It will be perilous, filthy work. More precious souls may be lost. But we didn’t come this far, suffer this much, to give in to the same tyranny that destroyed us in the first place. Even on a frozen dead planet, humanity needs hope. For these are our revolutions on Snowpiercer, 1,001 cars long.”

Audrey is in the empty Night Car, holding a photo of Nikki from before the Freeze. Did they know each other then? Audrey looks ten years older than she does when she’s performing, onstage or otherwise, as she silently weeps for Nikki.

Snowpiercer has taken its toll on her, as it does on everyone.

Her assistant pokes his head in to signal they’re ready. She nods to confirm that it’s time to enact their plan. In 1st Class, one of the Night Car staff switches places with a busboy from the 1st Class dining car. He pulls out a covered dish from the underside of the cart and places it on top.

It’s lunchtime again for Lead Brakeman Roche. LJ is in the cell and she’s as fascinated by his perfectly formed and packed lunches as I am. She asks him questions about himself, but gets no respect. He remains silent, until he finally tells her that anything she says to him is admissible in court.

LJ doesn’t care, because she’s innocent, so she can’t incriminate herself. Since he won’t tell her how he and his wife met, she tells him that her parents met in St Moritz on a chair lift.

Of course they did. The frozen Swiss playground of the rich and amoral.

She’s just getting around to threatening him a little when Melanie brings the Folgers in. It’s LJ’s trial day, so she gets to go home and prepare. Melanie makes sure she understands that she’s on trial for murder, will be judged by a tribunal of ticketed passengers and will be expected to testify.

Melanie says that Wilford will be following along with the trial. Robert is glad, so that Wilford can see how silly the accusations against LJ are. Roche gets angry, since the Thirdies are taking the trial very seriously. They want justice for their 3 victims. Guess that first victim from years ago, when LJ was 12ish, is back on the table.

Lilah reminds Melanie that LJ is a minor child and the actual murderer is dead. Melanie says this was just the required pretrial detainment.

There’s no provision for a judge or Wilford to determine whether she should stand trial as an adult or a minor then? Because it seems like she’s being treated as an adult, but she was arrested based on evidence that only pointed to Erik, not her. Andre made up the rest of the story and she didn’t argue with him, allowing him to persuade her into becoming a public sacrifice.

Rewatch the scenes if you don’t remember it that way. Layton does the talking and LJ never admits to anything, beyond recognizing the J-hook and being close to Erik, neither of which was a crime. She fully cooperates with the investigation. Layton makes up a scenario he finds plausible, then exaggerates it further to make sure 3rd Class will hate the spoiled 1st Class suspect.

He turned her into another Nikki, so Nikki is haunting him. As a cop, he knows the murders aren’t over.

On her way out of the garrison, LJ tells Melanie that she doesn’t belong in the drawers and she just wants to thank Mr Wilford for the chance to prove it.

Roche and Melanie agree that there’ll be trouble in 3rd if she isn’t convicted.

Josie treats the remainder of Suzanne’s arm, which has developed a serious infection. It’s revealed that Josie was a vet before the Freeze. She’s qualified medically to help Suzanne, but has no supplies to work with and no way to keep a wound clean. Winnie brings Josie a new message from Astrid, asking Josie to meet her in sanitation today.

Bess and Jinju are moving in together, which means that Bess gets a shiny new 2nd Class chip inserted in her hand. The Notary and the Doctor go through a little ceremony with them, in which Jinju promises she’ll be responsible for Bess during the probationary period. If Bess makes a mistake, Jinju will be punished too.

With that, Bess is granted access to 2nd Class and all of its entitlements. The officials offer congratulations, then leave the lovebirds to their celebration. They’re both sure about their relationship and very happy. Three months is the longest Jinju has waited to move in with someone.

Still Snowpiercer’s most adorable couple, with no serious competition.

Back in their own car, the Folgers worry that something could go wrong during the trial, leading the tribunal to convict their daughter. Lilah wants LJ to rehearse her testimony again. LJ is distracted, playing a game, then wondering what it’s like in the drawers. Finally she asks Robert if she can… pop out his glass eye and mess around with it, putting it in her own mouth and pretending it’s a mouth-eye.

Robert chuckles, but Lilah is impatient and insists they get serious. She tells LJ to remember to tell the jury, “He forced me.”

LJ: “He did force me. You do know that, right?”

Robert: “We know that, sweetheart. We know.”

Lilah silently walks away. Maybe because she doesn’t believe LJ, maybe because she feels so helpless.

As the breakfast rush empties out of the 1st Class dining car, Ruth orders her assistant, Tristan, to stop staring out the window. He explains that he used to dream of seeing the Amazon, so he likes to watch it when it goes by. As lacking in imagination as ever, Ruth snaps that now it’s just a frozen lump. She tells him to set the car up for the Tribunal once everyone is gone, using the usual floor plan.

Weren’t we led to believe that there had only been one tribunal, Nikki’s? Or did they just mean there had only been the one murder trial, but there have been trials for other, lesser crimes? If there are regular trials, that makes it even more important to root out unfairness in the system.

Audrey’s replacement busboy wheels his cart into 1st Class and over to Sharma’s table. He says to enjoy the dish, complements of the Night Car, then leaves the dining car while the dish is still covered.

Ruth has taken notice of this unusual display- Sharma didn’t order anything and breakfast service is over anyway. Sharma lifts the cover just as she’s telling him not to. Inside, the dish is live bugs served on top of dead bugs. While everyone screams, Ruth sends Tristan to get Melanie.

Melanie visits Miss Audrey in the Night Car and says, “That stunt was beneath you, Audrey.”

Audrey: “No, it really wasn’t.”

If Melanie won’t play fair, neither will Audrey.

Melanie expresses her condolences for Nikki’s death. But she doesn’t understand Audrey’s anger, when there’s one suspect in custody, waiting to stand trial, and another is dead. What more does Audrey want?

Audrey says that the trial is a joke, since it takes place 5 miles uptrain, with a jury made up of passengers from 1st and 2nd, who are judging whether another upper class passenger killed three of her people from 3rd. They have no motivation to find one of their own guilty.

Melanie: “The Night Car is supposed to be Switzerland. Why are you politicizing it?”

Audrey has a thick book open on the counter. She points to it now: “Third has the right to petition Wilford in labor disputes and matters of jurisprudence. We want a new tribunal drawn. One representative from each class. And a delegation to observe the trial.”

Audrey says that Melanie used to try to make a difference, but working closely with Wilford has hardened her. Melanie remembers when Audrey told Wilford she wanted the Night Car to be more than the brothel he envisioned. Melanie backed her up when she explained that she thought the train would need a place to work through their grief. Now the train depends on Audrey and her vision of the Night Car as that place. If Audrey overtly takes sides, her club will no longer be a place where everyone feels welcome.

But Audrey sees her role as the caretaker and voice of the needy on the train, the ones Wilford and Melanie might forget. She might have been separate from 3rd class in the beginning, but she’s seen how much more they suffer than 1st and 2nd. She’s not the type to stand by and do nothing.

Melanie walks the train everyday, so she’s no stranger to its conditions. But people share their inner lives with Audrey in a way they never will with Wilford’s mouthpiece.

Audrey: “We depend on you… On your voice to Wilford’s ear. Recommend a new tribunal.”

Melanie tries to call Audrey’s bluff, the way she did with Lilah, but this isn’t a bluff. Audrey reminds her that Thirdies work in every department of the train and they can make life very difficult.

And with one significant pause, Audrey hints to Melanie that she knows the truth about Wilford.

Melanie’s next stop is the Drawers, where she asks Klimpt what his autopsy showed about how the suspension drug affected Nikki. He says she had necrosis of her adrenal tissue and hepatic insufficiencies, but he didn’t have enough time to find out whether she would have regained her normal mental state. She wasn’t fully detoxed when she died.

In other words, in addition to all of the obvious side effects of the drug, Nikki’s liver and adrenal glands were severely damaged. This is a terribly unethical situation to continue to keep the other Sleepers in.

Jinju asks if the Sleepers have Locked-In Syndrome, a rare disorder in which patients are fully conscious but unable to move or communicate. Klimpt says they might. He insists that the Sleepers need to be awakened more slowly than Nikki was.

That won’t cure the damage to their internal organs.

Melanie says they have 400 drawers, which someday might all hold Sleepers. They have to make sure the Sleepers won’t wake up traumatized. Klimpt says he’s trying.

That’s a lot of prisoners and experiments and a lot of concern for their welfare when they wake up. Something else is going on here. Is she hoping to eventually sell spots in stasis to the highest bidder, so Firsties can sleep through the rest of the ice age instead of using up resources and growing old?

They should start by using a drug that doesn’t turn sleepers’ mouths black.

Jinju has heard the rumor that the Thirdies want a spot on the Tribunal. Melanie is considering giving in. She tells Jinju that LJ may get what she deserves. Jinju doesn’t look as certain as Melanie that it’s a good idea.

Up in the engine, Ben and Javi are also skeptical about upsetting the status quo, especially Javi, who thinks pushing the Firsties too hard will aggravate the train’s class divisions too much.

Which leaves Melanie stuck, since 3rd is already aggravated. She asks Javi to take the wheel while she speaks to Ben privately.

Melanie and Ben go to her cabin, where they have an afternoon quickie on her desk, not even pausing to move Mr Wilford’s paperwork.

What will the boss think???

Afterwards, Ben lies in Melanie’s tiny single bed and says they haven’t had sex since the bees died. He’s sensing a pattern.

You think??? The woman really is a death goddess.

They briefly indulge in remembering what they miss most- Melanie wishes she could open a window or go for a walk. Ben misses the sound of rain. When he asks if she’s really going to change the rules for the tribunal, she says she just wants to breathe.

The tribunal is chosen using ping pong balls randomly drawn from a cage, the way bingo numbers are chosen. Each passenger is assigned a number. The Voice of the Train announces that Mr Wilford has agreed to allow a 3rd Class member on the Tribunal, so one name has been chosen from each class.

Ruth’s face makes it clear that this decision is sure to bring on the general downfall of civilization.

The tribunal members are Firstie Edith Gusterfeld, 2nd Class primary teacher Mary-Elizabeth Gillies, and Thirdie papermaker Walter Flemming. 3rd Class cheers their representative as he makes his way to Hospitality.

Josie has joined the sanitation crew again so she can search for Andre. At break time, Astrid knocks on the second door in the break room and tells the Tailie crew that Josie should meet Terence the Janitor in the Market, at the symbol of the yellow butterfly. She and Josie switch clothes so that Astrid can take Josie’s place until the next break.

Melanie greets the tribunal members as they arrive in the hospitality office. The tribunal members are friendly and open with each other as they get acquainted, even the Firstie, Edith Gusterfeld. She laments that she doesn’t get to mingle with other classes more.

Ruth: “Doesn’t Mr Wilford understand that you can’t just change the rules?”

Melanie: “I guess they’re his rules to change. He chose the will of the people.”

Ruth: “We don’t have will. We have order.”

Ruth walks out. Her assistant opens and closes the door for her.

Guess Ruth missed the page in the Big Book of Snowpiercer’s Rules of Order that Audrey pointed out earlier.

Till and Oz are tasked with bringing the delegation from 3rd to the 1st Class dining car. He accuses her of having joined the bourgeoisie. She retaliates by asking if he’s still trading drugs for sex. He says his probation is almost over. She says she wants to stay at the trial long enough to hear Jinju’s testimony. They achieve a truce of sorts.

He gathers the delegation and makes a speech instructing them to act like people rather than animals while they’re uptrain, then he and Till lead the delegation the 5 miles from the Night Car to the 1st Class dining car, accompanied by a unit of jackboots.

As the delegation moves uptrain, Robert tries to convince Lilah that everything will be fine. But Lilah understands the truth: “You don’t see what’s happening, do you? There’s an idea traveling uptrain, Robert. It wants to live, this idea. It wants to set the train ablaze and all it needs is a spark. All it needs is to wrap its thick fingers around your daughter’s throat and choke her out for the working man.”

Lj enters the room and Lilah tells her they should continue working on her testimony. Lilah must have gotten through to Robert, because he tells her he’ll take care of it.

From Lilah’s prediction to Layton in the drawer, having nightmares about the cannibals in the Tail. It’s not clear if these are accurate, if jumbled, memories, but I’m assuming they are. If so, it’s a strange story, since everyone else made Layton face the cannibals alone. When Layton told the story, he made it sound like most of the Tail had fought the kill cult.

He looks like he might have been drugged into taking the job, as if the rest of the Tail tried to send him back to the cannibals to be their next sacrifice and got lucky when he killed the cannibals instead. He puts Miles up in a bunk to keep him safe. Everyone wishes him luck as they insist he has to save them. Mama Grandé gives him a weapon, then he charges the cannibals’ lair.

Josie finds the Market, then one of the janitors finds her and brings her to Terence at knifepoint. Terence hasn’t been paid for this meeting and is only interested in how it might benefit him. Josie explains that they think Layton is in a drawer. Terence suggests that Layton might have made Wilford mad and have gotten “his head stuck out a port.”

There’s a fun thought. That would certainly make it hard to identify his body, unless you knew him really well.

Terence and Annie were considering taking a trip to the drawers themselves, so they decide to go along with Josie that afternoon, while the train is distracted with LJ’s trial.

Robert and a delegation of Firsties, including Sharma, Eugenia and Martin Colvin, meet with Commander Grey to discuss a regime change. Robert makes it clear that he’s not a bigot. He’s just a conservative attempting to maintain order. It doesn’t do anyone any good for Thirdies to get ideas above their station.

Grey asks if Robert is speaking as a citizen or LJ’s father. Robert says both. The rest of the delegation stand behind him. They’re all afraid that 3rd will come for their children. Grey says his job is to uphold the rules. He doesn’t make them.

Eugenia says that since Wilford has locked himself away, he’s grown out of touch with the needs of the people. Grey points out that Wilford has “the skills to keep us all alive.” He asks what Eugenia brings to the table. She says she has hundreds of millions of dollars in early investor status and “a whole world of pain when it comes to my survival.”

What does that threat mean? She’s talking to the man who commands the only remaining standing army. How does she think she’ll physically harm him? Does she have nuclear codes that she thinks will still work? A mobster shadow army?

Sharma interrupts Eugenia’s rant and explains that they’re fine leaving Wilford to himself. They’re more concerned with the day-to-day aspects of running the train- everything that isn’t military and infrastructure- and feel they’d do a better job in charge of those aspects. Grey asks about Melanie. Robert says she’d be the first to go.

Grey nods slightly, but stays silent.

I thought Grey hated Melanie and wanted her out, but something about that conversation makes me think he knows she’s Wilford and supports her. Kudos again to Timothy V. Murphy. He kills it in this role.

Martin Colvin turns out to be one of Melanie’s spies and runs straight to her with the story. She asks how Grey reacted. Colvin says the Commander just stared at them, coldly. She tells Colvin she’ll speed up his renovations.

As they leave for the trial, Lilah gives LJ a few last minute reminders: cry contrite tears, make eye contact and be sincere. Robert pulls his Lilahs in for a family hug. A jackboot escorts LJ to the trial.

In the dining car, Ruth acts as judge to keep order during the trial. She says that tribunals are called to handle cases of crime, conspiracy or negligence. LJ is accused of 2 counts of murder.

Roche is the first witness: “Once the accused was apprehended, the brakemen did a full and thorough search of the Folgers’ quarters. There we found the most striking evidence in the case. Hidden in Lilah Junior’s jewelry box were the particularly preserved, severed penises of two male victims.”

Tristan brings out a jewelry box with the souvenirs in it and shows the Tribunal and the crowd.

I hate to discredit Roche, but every witness in this trial has serious issues. LJ looks shocked when the jewelry box is brought out. If it was found in her room, shouldn’t she and her parents have known and been prepared for this testimony? More importantly, it would have been simple for one of the brakemen who searched the room (cough *OZ* cough) to plant the souvenirs in the jewelry box or even just in the evidence file later, in order to falsify evidence.

Most importantly, no teenage girl hides severed penises in her jewelry box, where her mother might find them while looking for a pair of earrings. The souvenirs would have been hidden more carefully. A jewelry box is the kind of place a man would think a woman would put them and would have easy access to during a search when he wanted to plant evidence. Roche may or may not know the evidence was planted.

Erik could have also known he was in trouble and have planted them there to implicate LJ.

Let’s remember how many men have died in recent episodes, from Tailies to butchers to Erik. Penises to preserve and use as false evidence aren’t hard to come by on Snowpiercer. But my guess is that they found the appendages when they searched Erik’s hidey hole in the storage closet, then planted them to ensure LJ’s conviction. Erik was the serial killer and collector, not LJ.

Next up is Dr Pelton, who did her very first autopsy on Sean Wise. She was led through it by Layton, but now she’s an expert, embellishing her findings as well. As she discusses her findings, Tristan shows the J-Hook around, which now has LJ’s fingerprints on it.

That would explain why LJ sat in front of Layton and made the chopping motion with it.

Sometimes I’m extra slow on the uptake. This why I write 10k word recaps instead of 1 page police detective reports.

Dr Pelton: “Sean Wise was bound and choked multiple times with a thin ligature. He was very much alive when his genitals were chopped off.”

Moving on, the Tunnelman who found Sean’s body plays up the horror of finding such a coldly mutilated human being. If you’ll recall, when Layton and Till interviewed him at the cannibal lunch counter, his only emotion was impatience at having to tell the story a second time, since he’d already told everything he remembered to the brakemen.

Then it’s Jinju’s turn. She sells LJ up the river as the criminal mastermind who controlled Erik, her serial killer puppet and partner in a wicked conspiracy.

Jinju: The whole time, Erik’s focus was Lilah Junior. I was as much her hostage as I was his. (Jinju takes a long look at LJ.) That was what they wanted, Erik and LJ, to kill us all in a nihilistic rage. But the Eternal Engine is still here.”

In fact, Erik said “she” had predicted something and Jinju asked if he meant his girl. Erik ignored her. A little later, Jinju repeatedly asked him his name, which he ignored. But Erik was careful to make sure Jinju wasn’t harmed, even when he shot at the electrical box and knew he was about to die. There’s no evidence that the “she” he referred to was LJ and there was no way for Jinju to know what he was thinking about, unless she’s psychic.

Miss Audrey testifies on behalf of Nikki. She tells her listeners that Nikki was a beautiful person who’s been ignored by the upper classes, just like 3rd Class always is. But it’s time for them to start caring, because they depend on Thirdies for their lives to run smoothly. Meanwhile the Thirdies suffer physical hardships 2nd Class and Firsties don’t experience. Miss Audrey says that she hasn’t come to her current political stance easily. In the beginning, she agreed with Wilfred’s order. But after 7 years, the train needs compassion and justice for more than just the rich.

She says Nikki’s name, in a nod to the “Say Her Name” movement, as the crowd erupts. Ruth calls a recess, after which LJ will testify.

Annie the janitor stops Klimpt as he’s on his way back to the trial and pickpockets his keys to the drawers. Josie, Terence and Annie break in, then the two janitors quickly steal large quantities of chemicals, probably the suppression drug or its precursors, and leave. They toss Josie the keys to the individual drawers on their way out and wish her luck, assuring her this isn’t personal, just business. Josie also pockets a few tubes of medication, likely including an antibiotic for Suzanne.

Melanie pulls Lilah aside in the corridor and warns her to stop her political machinations.

Lilah: “Let me tell you a Folger family story. When LJ was 7, she put out Robert’s eye. Lashed out with a fork and punctured it all over his face. And even as the jelly was running down his cheek, he held her through the tantrum, protecting her. So you go ahead with your Hospitality show trial and prepare to suffer the consequences. Because you’re messing with my bloodline.”

Lilah walks away. A group of passengers is standing several feet behind Melanie, undoubtedly eavesdropping, ready to spread the story of LJ’s history. Rather than proclaim Lilah Junior’s innocence to the train, Lilah’s defense strategy is to turn her daughter into a force to be reckoned with, just as LJ wished for in her conversation with Layton about cannibalism.

As always, the eye story may or may not be the whole truth. It doesn’t matter, just like it doesn’t matter with the testimony against LJ. The point is that Lilah claims royal privilege for her daughter and has already proven in words and deeds that she’ll back it up with a scorched earth war against Melanie if her child comes to any real harm.

Josie frantically searches the files and open surfaces in the Drawers, hoping to find something that will indicate which drawer Layton is in. She knows she doesn’t have time to open 400 drawers.

LJ swears to tell the truth, then goes straight for the contrite tears her mother suggested. She says she loved Erik, but he had a power over her that left her afraid and confused. She’s unsure whether that was really love, but Erik said it was.

She looks straight at Melanie when she gets to the important part.

LJ: “He made me watch him do terrible things and I can still hear those men begging for it to end. Uh, but Erik said fear makes people honest. I think that’s true. Sean Wise, just before he died, said he was an informant, a spy for Mr Wilford. Sean said that shadows and lies were taking over our beautiful train, from tip to Tail, from Ag-Sec to the Drawers. “400 hundred secrets that rock us to the rails,” he said. But he would never spill them. (LJ speaks to Ruth) Can I say this part to Mr Wilford?”

Ruth: “Yes, he’s following along.”

LJ: “I am so sorry for the part that I played in this tragedy. I was silent when I should have spoken, but Sean Wise gave his life to save humanity from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole. If the train shows me mercy, I promise to do my part for her, too. That’s all I can say.”

She stops crying to make her promise and looks Melanie directly in the eye. Melanie has been visibly distressed during LJ’s testimony, since she understands that Sean knew and spilled her deepest secrets. LJ offered to trade her silence for her life and help she could give Melanie in the future. Melanie has to wonder how many other people know her secrets and whether LJ wrote anything down and hid it, maybe in a letter sealed with a kiss. This is a turning point in Melanie’s strategy of violently silencing anyone who finds out that isn’t already a close ally.

Ruth calls another break while the Tribunal deliberates.

Josie seems to develop some sixth sense for which drawers hold Tailies and opens a few. The first two hold children who’d been chosen for the apprenticeshop program, Mia and a young boy. Layton is in the third.

Melanie and Jinju retreat to the Hospitality office and discuss LJ’s testimony.

Melanie: “Maybe he told her the drawers are experimental. Maybe he told her about the list.”

Jinju: “Well, that changes the calculus, doesn’t it?”

Melanie sends a note to Ben and Javi through the vacuum tubes. Javi doesn’t like what it says. He’s mad that he’s even working in the engine. He confronts Ben about his relationship with Melanie.

When Josie can’t wake Layton up, she removes a wrist cuff which results in his heart stopping. Oz and Bess are outside in the hall and notice that the Drawers have been broken into. They investigate and find Josie hiding in the drawer with Layton. Oz pulls her out and brutally beats her until Till knocks him out with her baton.

Till, like everyone else, thought Layton had gone back to the Tail. He’s convulsing and barely has a heartbeat. Josie injects him with something which begins to bring him around. Till tells her they have to get out of the Drawers before they get caught.

The Tribunal finds LJ guilty on all counts, by unanimous vote. Jinju and the teacher look especially pleased. In the engine, Ben tells Javi that he has to follow Melanie’s orders for the worst case scenario. Javi doesn’t think Melanie should interfere with the results of the Tribunal. Ben sends a message to the 1st Class dining car.

Ruth reads the message, which says Mr Wilford is commuting LJ’s sentence due to her status as a minor. The 3rd Class delegation explodes into a riot as the Folgers and the rest of 1st Class are rushed out of the dining car.

Till helps Josie drag Layton to Zarah’s place in the Chains. Josie tells Zarah that Layton was drawered and the Tail needs to be able to trust her now. Zarah pretends she doesn’t know about the blue chip. Josie rushes back to sanitation to relieve Astrid. Zarah helps Layton up to one of her hiding spots.

Melanie has a chat with LJ in the Hospitality office about discretion and secrets. Jennifer Connelly earns her pay with some excellent line delivery, as she tries to convince LJ to play by her rules from now on. LJ promises to keep Mr Wilford’s secrets and look out for his well being, but she also seems overconfident. She thinks she’s safe, but she’s now also a very important pawn, since she’s been exposed as the Folgers’ greatest weakness and as a danger to Melanie. She might not go to the drawers, but accidents can happen to anyone.

Till returns to the Drawers for Oz. He’s gone, but the wall next to where he was lying is marked with red blood and black scuff marks, as if a fight took place. It’s not from his fight with Josie. Who found him there and who won the fight? The jackboots?

Layton continues to convulse, with Zarah holding him down so he doesn’t hurt himself. He remembers bringing a heart out from the cannibals’ section of the Tail and slicing it up. Everyone took a piece and said, “Never again,” before eating it. He remembers Strong Boy, Mama Grandé, Santiago, Josie, Lights, Z-Wreck and Last Australian. No one says OneTail.

Then he wakes up and opens his eyes. He doesn’t know where he is, but Zarah is curled around him and kisses his forehead.

Commentary

Will try to add more screen caps soon.

Cannibals, Sacrificial Lambs and Switzerland

The themes of this episode are cannibals, sacrificial lambs and Switzerland. Sacrificial lambs in the sense of a symbolic sacrifice made by a group which is meant to take the place of the group itself. LJ takes the place of 1st Class. Suzanne’s arm took the place of all of the other rebels who escaped, most especially her own lamb, Winnie. Layton may have unknowingly entered the cannibals’ lair as a sacrifice rather than a protector. The shot of him placing Miles out of the way symbolizes Miles as the potential lamb he’s replacing/protecting.

In the film, children tasted the best, so the cannibals went for them first. People place great value on their children, so they would make the best sacrificial lambs. Curtis gives up cannibalism and eventually sacrifices himself for the children in the film. Layton defeats the cannibals in the Tail. But Melanie makes a deal with the 1st Class cannibals uptrain in order to protect her secrets, though she tells herself it’s to protect the train.

The cannibals and the Swiss are nearly equal symbols in Snowpiercer, with the cannibals admitting that they are motivated by their worst impulses, while the Swiss pretend they are neutral. They have situational morality and thus define what is right as whatever is good for the wealthy and powerful, sacrificing the moral beliefs that drive most of the world’s great religions on the altar of greed and ambition.

As Audrey pointed out, though Melanie defines herself as separate from 1st Class, in her actions she is actually no different from them. It becomes more clear with every episode that Ruth considers herself a de facto member of 1st Class, though it’s not clear yet why she believes she’s above the rest of the senior staff. Ruth enjoys every bit of class based injustice she hands out.

The irony of this episode is that 3rd Class was looking for real change, but would have accepted LJ as a sacrificial lamb, had she received a punishment commensurate with her alleged crimes. The problem is, no one would willingly allow their only child to be sacrificed to appease an angry mob, not even the most amoral of gangsters. By convincing LJ to let herself be caught, Layton hit 1st Class in the one place they couldn’t easily defend. They might have abandoned another adult to their fate, but not a child. Now 1st Class doesn’t trust Melanie to protect their children and 3rd Class doesn’t trust her to give them the justice they deserve.

I suspect that the discovery of Mia and the other boy in the drawers will have the same effect on the Tail. I don’t know how Layton could have planned for Josie to find them or if he saw clues while he was in the Drawers as an investigator that led him to believe Mia was in one. But now the Tailies have another reason to rebel, since their children are being taken, experimented on and left to die. Since no new babies are being born in the Tail, in a sense they have nothing left to lose. The apprenticeship program was the one beacon of hope for the Tailies. If they think that’s a lie, there’s no reason for them not to tear everything down.

Lilah is a bit of a Cassandra. with a very strong sense of where things stand on the train. I think she’s more than just a classist Firstie interested in staging a coup, though she is that. She also wants to preserve the status quo for the safety of her daughter more than anything else and can see how badly a class war would affect the train as a whole. While she’s willing to make the threat of war to protect her daughter and to go through with it, she’d rather win with a bloodless coup.

Lilah and Melanie have called each other’s bluffs now and made the other back down. They’re testing each other’s limits, and sooner or later, they’re going to hit the point where neither will back down.

Or Melanie will find that she’s hit Audrey’s limit on the other side, if she didn’t do it with her pardon of LJ. Audrey wanted a show of justice and Melanie gave her hollow spectacle. Now Layton is waking up to further stir the pot in 3rd and the Tail.

Amidst the talk of cannibals, there’s also been talk of eating utensils. Now that he’s an apprentice, Miles has his own fork. LJ put out her father’s eye with her fork. There are knives all over the place on the train. Jinju’s are some of the sharpest. Roche’s lunches and Melanie’s dinners are precisely made but don’t require a utensil.

Don’t be fooled by 1st Class with their love of money and jewels. On Snowpiercer, food and emotional ties are the true valuables and the best weapons.

Zarah was very affectionate with Andre once Josie was out of the way, giving hope to my shipper heart. Andre seemed to melt into her more than he did with Josie as well.

I missed Andre in the present day in this episode. At least they found a clever way to include him and he was only sidelined for one episode.

Now that LJ is free and clearly had what she needed to free herself, I can forgive him for his part in her arrest and trial and be angry at Melanie for experimenting on children instead. What the heck are Melanie, Jinju and Klimpt up to? It seems like they’re attempting long term stasis, but Nikki’s results should be enough to stop the drug trials and pull everyone out.

How on earth does Melanie justify doing such dangerous experiments on children when there are so few left in the world? We knew she was cold and classist, but I had hope that she wasn’t as bad as she seems. Apparently, she’s worse. So is Jinju, though she always seems like she might have no choice but to go along with whatever Melanie wants.

And what is the list Melanie and Jinju mentioned? Is it a naughty list or a nice list? Is stasis solely for criminal and political prisoners, or is Melanie afraid it’s the only way humans will survive the Freeze?

Please, can a Tailie computer hacker walk by those server banks and get curious? Or can Javi defect to the rebels and explain what they’re for? We’re shown them multiple times an episode. That’s not a coincidence.

Josie tells Terence that Layton isn’t the dying type. Is this another hint that he was sent into the cannibals alone as a sacrifice but unexpectedly survived?

Wow, Ruth is really invested in the system and the rule of unchanging order. Like to a pathological degree. Maybe Erik was her hitman.

I bet Ruth loves the Big Book of Snowpiercer’s Rules of Order. Where did that book come from? Is it a covenant between Wilford and the passengers?

So Josie is actually a medical professional. The visuals were confusing me. Sometimes it seemed she was just comforting the patient while someone else was doing the doctoring.

Now that Josie’s seen what’s happening in the drawers, will she be instrumental in solving the detox issue or improving the stasis drug? As a vet, she might have a slightly different knowledge base to work from than Klimpt and Jinju. Plus, she has some real world experience with kronole that they don’t have.

Why on earth has Melanie left so many professionals with valuable skills back in the Tail? I’m never going to get over that. Plus, if the train is emptying out cars that were used for food storage, why can’t the Tail expand into some of those?

Melanie could incorporate the Tailies into the rest of the train much more quickly than she is. It’s hard to guess how much she’s dragging her heels because she likes having the example of the Tail to use to scare the rest of the train into doing what she says, so they don’t end up starving and in rags; and how much she needs to integrate the Tailies slowly to keep the resentment of the ticketed passengers to a reasonable level.

Miss Audrey Is Much More Than a Pretty Face

Miss Audrey’s look during the opening sequence is the result of a masterful blend of cinematic techniques which are used to add depth to her character. Audrey (and Lena Hall, the actor who portrays her) is a beautiful, glamorous woman. But in this scene, she looks older and harsher than we’ve ever seen her. Instead of a pampered star, she looks like an aging working class night club manager.

Miss Audrey also looks like a survivor with the moxie to take on 1st Class and Melanie. She’s fought a few wars of her own and isn’t afraid to get down in the dirt. She may work in show business, but she’s not Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard. She’s Rick Blaine, the world weary café owner from Casablanca. She knows who she is and who her people are.

She’s chosen her side, because there is no true neutrality, even in the real world.

Switzerland is actually a wealthy country which caters to the wealthy of the world. It’s far from neutral; it simply chooses to protect the wealthiest class rather than taking sides in politics, as Melanie attempted to persuade Miss Audrey to do. Switzerland chooses to remain neutral in political disputes between the factions of other countries and regions not out of some moral position, but rather because choosing sides would interfere with its business transactions. Far from promoting morality, the country facilitates the high crimes and safeguards the fortunes of some of the most morally corrupt people in the world.

Melanie tries to argue that if Audrey takes the side of 3rd Class, she’ll inconvenience the upper classes, who then might feel uncomfortable in the Night Car, affecting business and affecting the mental health of the train, since the Night Car functions as a therapy car. It’s a circular argument which doesn’t take into account the mental health or physical wellbeing of 3rd Class, by assuming the wealth of 1st Class is what keeps the Night Car in business.

Miss Audrey’s look in this scene is achieved through several techniques, such as lighting, hair, makeup and camera work. The lighting is deceptively golden, tricking the eye into thinking it will soften her features, but there’s an underlying clarity of tone to the color and a harshness to the contrast that the shadows bring.

The camera is also in such sharp focus that it brings out every fine line in Miss Audrey’s face, probably because of the lens that was used, but I’m no cinematographer. It’s hard to see this in a screen cap, but if you have a good TV or other screen, pause the scene in a few spots and take a look at how they worked to make the lighting and focus unflattering to Lena.

Lena also positions herself to make her face look sad, old and unhappy by gritting her teeth and tensing her jaw and neck. Her makeup, which is perhaps meant to look like stage makeup, is too intense to be flattering up close, especially her lips and eyebrows, and also helps to emphasize the fine lines in her face. Her hair, which is normally perfect, is dull and bordering on frizzy.

She has a fake (?) tattoo and glitter on her chest and shoulder which almost look like a rash or burn scars at first glance. I thought of this later during her testimony when she brought up the diseases in 3rd Class that don’t get treatment and wondered if the decoration hides something else, like a scar or skin cancer.

Taken together, all of these pieces show us that Miss Audrey may be able to pull herself together to put on a good public show in her widow’s weeds, but she’s privately devastated by Nikki’s death. If you thought the widow’s weeds in episode 4 were simply a dramatic performance, you were wrong.

When her look is combined with the photo and the voiceover, we can guess that Nikki symbolizes everything Miss Audrey has lost. She was the one who Audrey had held onto through the Freeze and the inequality of the train. Now she’s been unfairly taken away and Miss Audrey will be sending some messages of her own. The words of the song resonate for her as well.

Though we’ve gotta say goodbye for the summer,

Hey, I’ll promise you this,

I’ll send you all my love in a letter,

Sealed with a kiss.

Sealed with a Kiss

The way Sealed with a Kiss was emphasized in episode 4 kept nagging at me, since it suggested that the song was more than just a random choice by the creators. This episode makes me certain of that. Layton knows he’s missed something in the case and it’s nagging at him, even in the drawer, in the form of a song stuck in his head.

Nikki sings the same lyrics from Sealed with a Kiss that were emphasized by LJ in episode 4, except for changing “baby” to “hey”: “Though we’ve gotta say goodbye for the summer, hey, I’ll promise you this, I’ll send you all my love in a letter, sealed with a kiss.”

The lyrics, by themselves, suggest a few possibilities.

“Say goodbye for the summer” has obvious significance on Snowpiercer. They’ve all said goodbye to the summer, forever. Movement from summer to fall and winter is also a reminder of the power structure on the train. For example, Roche shook hands a few times with Wilford before they boarded the train, but hasn’t seen him since he holed up in the biosecure engine after the permanent winter journey began. Saying goodbye to the summer was also saying goodbye to the original, accessible Wilford.

In this episode Miss Audrey reminds Melanie that they were once united in convincing Wilford to do the right thing for the lower classes. She hints that she knows Melanie is Wilford, but keeps it ambiguous.

Nikki and Audrey were close. Layton only spoke a few words with Nikki in life, but if there’s some sort of shared consciousness happening between residents of the drawers, courtesy of those endless server banks, he may be haunted by an upload of her mind or seeing and hearing a leftover echo.

“I’ll promise you this” I have a few thoughts here. First, it’s time to mention that Sealed with a Kiss was used in the 2006 cult slasher film All the Boys Love Mandy Lane. In the film, Emmet and Mandy, a pair of bullied high school students, get revenge on their classmates while keeping her involvement a secret. They have a suicide pact, which Mandy reneges on. At the end, Mandy and Emmet fight each other to the death, she wins, and then rides off into the sunset with Garth, a 2nd, cuter boy, who thinks she’s a heroic victim. The film turns the Final Girl trope on its head by revealing that she survives because she’s a villain, in addition to fulfilling the usual characteristics of the trope. Plus she also kills the slasher when he turns on her, suggesting their alliance was tenuous all along.

I’m not sure what the “Mandy” filmmakers were trying to say and I’m not sure where Snowpiercer’s showrunners are going with LJ’s arc, but there are some obvious similarities between these two stories. It rarely occurs to male writers when they write women’s stories like this film or LJ’s arc on Snowpiercer that women are frequently coerced by their violent, abusive boyfriends into cooperating with the boyfriends’ violent crimes. It’s as if Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t exist.

Male creators have often observed women’s behaviors very closely and can write women accurately from an external point of view. But they don’t understand the potential motivations behind the behaviors at all, as if it’s never occurred to them to just talk to a few women who’ve been in similar situations.

They write these shows in such a way that the only understandable motivation for the characters, as written, is that they were coerced and abused. But in the shows, the woman is the femme fatale, the criminal mastermind, the evil Eve or Lolita who led the poor, unsuspecting male astray. And of course an evil woman deserves a harsh punishment. Eve was thrown out of Eden. Lolita was thrown out of the Eden of childhood, passed between men and finally left a single teenage mother. The show becomes nothing but another male fantasy.

Our culture, as a whole, trains us to be oblivious to so many forms of everyday abuse, whether its racism or ableism or sexualized violence or abuse of power by an authority figure. The higher your natural position in the power structure, the less you notice what’s going on around you, unless you’ve been a victim of that particular form of abuse. This is true of everyone. We all live in our own bubble.

The lover in the song promises to send love in a letter, sealed with a kiss. Promises can be coerced. During torture, promises are broken.

A promise is also form of consent, which a minor child like LJ can’t legally give to an adult man like Erik.

This song is associated with both Nikki and LJ. 3rd Class still wants the justice they were promised for Nikki’s death, while LJ has promised to keep Wilford’s secrets and make herself useful in exchange for her pardon. Those two promises are about to start a class war, unless Melanie does some quick thinking. Layton was in the drawer for these developments, but he knew something like this would happen. He helped create Nikki as the ultimate 3rd Class victim and LJ as the ultimate symbol of 1st Class privilege, with both as symbols of broken promises.

“I’ll send you all my love in a letter” I have a few ideas for this one and very little evidence. Something must be tickling the back of Andre’s mind. Maybe Zarah sent a message to the Tail telling him about Miss Audrey’s giant book of Snowpiercer’s rules and regulations. That would be something he could use if they went for negotiation and a less violent revolution. That book will be important in some capacity, that’s for certain.

Maybe he realized the implications of something he read and pushed to the side in the Folgers car. Or another message he received from uptrain when he was still in the Tail. Or maybe Melanie slipped up somehow. Maybe something about her Fight Night message from Wilford clicked in his brain. Was that a message to Erik or another of her minions?

There’s also still that puzzling quote from Erik to Jinju, “She said this was coming.” Was Melanie sleeping with Erik, too? Humbert Humbert sleeps with Lolita and her mother, so the precedent is there.

“Sealed with a kiss.” That can only be secrets and/or poison. Poisonous lipstick, the Judas kiss, the Kiss of the Spider Woman, the kronole stuck in the cheek: there’s just no other way this is going. Betrayal is in the air. Every witness at the trial lied or seriously embellished the truth. Even those we thought were honorable. I’d bet a lot that a brakeman, probably Oz, planted the penises in the jewelry box. That’s just not where LJ would keep them.

The cop in Andre knows he needs to look into the connection between the black market, kronole and the murders. Just as the Tail couldn’t be safe until the cannibals were gone, kronole will cannibalize the entire train unless it’s eliminated. Terence and Annie showed us in this episode that they are far from benevolent.

In her testimony, LJ said that Sean Wise told her and Erik that “Shadows and lies were taking over our beautiful train.” and “Sean Wise gave his life to save humanity from the darkness that almost swallowed me whole.” She’s talking about kronole. That second quote suggests that she was threatened somehow. She also says his death helped save humanity from kronole. How? Was he selling it as well as informing? Did he try to get LJ hooked?

Nikki’s Body and LJ’s Guilt

LJ has an airtight alibi for Nikki’s murder. The entire train saw LJ in the Night Car for the fight, right up until the very end, when the Folgers were forced to leave at last call. That was the period of time when Nikki was being murdered.

When he was done with Nikki, Erik stayed in public for hours, where he’d be seen, in the 3rd Class dining car, perhaps so that LJ couldn’t be implicated. He only left when he knew Nikki’s body was about to be found. Then he went to the bee storage unit, and stayed there until Till and Oz found him.

Was he leading the brakemen to his hiding place, so they could find something important he’d hidden there? The J-hook that he left among his possessions in the Folgers’ car also leads back to the storage unit, providing another tip off to search that area. As LJ basically says in her trial, Erik is the one who tortured and questioned Sean. He heard the secrets Sean spilled. That’s likely why Erik was targeted for death next, after Nikki and Sean. (Remember, someone told him this was coming.)

But whoever Erik works for, or whoever put the hit out on him, didn’t count on him carving up Nikki so thoroughly. Her throat isn’t just slit (well, it might be when he leaves her). By the time Melanie and Andre get to her it’s opened wide and something electronic, with a flashing light, has been inserted inside.

Is that a message for Melanie, the Voice of the Train? Is it a medical implant Nikki had due to a previous injury or illness? We’ve already been shown that Klimpt violates the bodies of the living. He’d have no problem violating the bodies of the dead.

Whoever wanted Erik dead also thought that his secrets would die with him. Melanie was honestly floored to realize how much LJ knows, which means she didn’t think LJ was actually the mastermind who ordered Erik around, or even involved in the crimes at all. She knew the trial was a sham. As did virtually everyone involved in it. They were all playing out a piece of theatre meant to appease 3rd Class so they could get back to their normal lives as soon as possible.

Melanie would never have allowed LJ to take the stand if she thought LJ could reveal her secret. Since Sean was her informant, he had a high likelihood of guessing the truth. Layton guessed that was the real reason why he was brought out of the Tail- because Melanie was afraid Sean told the killer her secret.

Melanie thought her secret died with Erik and that LJ had no involvement, so putting her on trial would show Melanie’s own power over 1st and gain her some favor with 3rd. But either Layton or Erik shared the truth with LJ, or she was really present when Sean died. My money is on Layton giving her the ammunition she needed, but Erik also fed her pieces of the story.

Graphic photos of Nikki’s injures from episode 4 follow. Fair warning if you want to skip them.

Layton is dreaming about Nikki singing LJ’s song with a mutilated neck , with lyrics about sealing letters with a kiss. He knows he’s missed something with this case, and that Nikki’s throat holds a key clue.

Layton must have caught the tiny flashing light inside Nikki’s mutilated neck, but was distracted from processing it by all of the anger and regret in the room. Roche helped heap blame on everyone, extending the argument. That’s not the only time I’ve questioned Roche’s motives lately. Maybe he’s not as honest as he seems.

No idea what’s causing the light.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screen Caps from Opening Credits

Collider interview with Daveed Diggs

Interview with Snowpiercer Production Designer Barry Robison– Includes an in universe explanation of how the chains came to be.

Snowpiercer Zoom call backgrounds

Essential viewing: Explore the Train

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This might be the greatest fan theory of all time.

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Images courtesy of TNT.

Snowpiercer S1E5: Justice Never Boarded Recap-Layton is in a drawer, Melanie is stressed out, LJ is on trial & Josie uses the chip again. But Jinju & Bess find some happiness & Melanie & Ben find some stress relief. #Snowpiercer In episode 5 of Snowpiercer, LJ goes to trial for her part in the murders of Sean and Nikki, Josie goes uptrain to search for Andre and Miss Audrey takes action to ensure that Melanie will get Nikki the justice she deserves.

#Daveed Diggs #dystopia #Jennifer Connelly #Justice Never Boarded #lena hall #metacrone #post apocalypse #recaps #review #science fiction #Snowpiercer

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unwoundvisions · 4 years

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Cayla (1974)

How well does your muse deal with stress? Do they do anything in particular to help them deal with it, and if so what do they do?

If it’s a stress I personally have to deal with like work, I focus on it way too much. I use the stress as this horrible motivator to do whatever needs to be done. I’m a perfectionist so stress is not really my friend. I’ll easily break down and angry cry over it. However, I’ve yet to find a healthy way to manage stress.

What are their immediate views on romantic love?

I don’t really have a lot of experience in that depart but I’m not opposed to it. It’s something everyone should get to have in their lifes if they want to.

Do they react well when they develop feelings for someone and if not why?

Again, this doesn’t happen often so I wouldn’t know. I mean, if I did, I think I would handle it...okay? I’m just very hesitant to open myself up to someone.

How do they show affection nonverbally? Are they likely to show affection with their words as well?

I’m more verbal than physical because I’m hesitant to invade anyone’s space with my touch. However, if I know they don’t mind, I’m very physically affection. Holding hands, hugs, all that sugary sweet things people do I like as long as I know they don’t mind.

Are they the friendly sort or do they prefer to let others start off interactions with them?

I let others come to me. I’m not very confident in my people skills so I never seek interactions out right away.

Does your muse have any sort of verbal tics or impediments?

I have a bad habit of saying legit, like, uh and apparently. I sometimes do stutter when I’m nervous but usually only at the start of the sentence.

Is your muse apt to stab someone in the back in any way? If so, would they admit to doing so or would they lie to cover it up?

Not really. I’m pretty loyal but I could see myself maybe doing it accidentally. If that was the case, I’d probably admit it.

How devoted are they to their loved ones? Would this devotion delve into the obsessive side?

I am very devoted but not at all obsessive.

What sorts of things would they be willing to do for friends? For family? For their significant other(s)?

Just about anything. Those are the people I love the most so of course I’d do anything for them.

Are their nights plagued with past memories or nightmares in general? What do they usually entail if so?

Dreams in general are very rare for me to remember. However, on the off chance I am having a nightmare, it’s always going to be something about a very gory or dangerous situation. I don’t have nightmares about monsters but about horrible real life things happening to me.

How do they usually sleep, in what position? Do they like plenty of pillows, blankets and/or plush toys?

I usually sleep on my stomach but will wake up on my side or back. I only really need one blanket and of course, I have Pooh.

Are they adept at using technology of any kind or do they typically need help with it?

I’m pretty good with most technology. Just don’t try to get me to figure out the lights for boy’s show. So many buttons. So many lights. I just can’t. I’m also not very good with cars. I can drive one but lord forbid I ever break down or get a flat tire.

Is your muse good with their hands, or do they tend to be fairly clumsy?

I am good with my hands in the sense that their steady and I can draw very basic things. I can be a bit mildly clumsy though. I drop shit all the time.

Do they prefer to think ahead or to leap right in and wing things?

Think head. I’d plan out everything if I could.

What kinds of things inspire your muse and does your muse tend to inspire others?

I’m inspired a lot because of the people in my life. I’m inspired a lot by the boys music. I’m really inspired by movies and plays. I suppose I technically inspire people? I’m not sure why but I’ve had songs written about me and I’m honored. If I had any talent I’d make something for them.

Does your muse think they’re mentally or physically strong?

I’m mentally somewhat strong. I think I’m capable in that aspect but physically strong, no way. Freddie’s helped me learn about about physical strength but just the basics.

Do they believe in luck? If so, would they consider themselves lucky or unlucky?

100%. It happens alll the time. People can work their entires lives at their dreams and simply never get anywhere unless they are magically seen by the right people. That takes luck.

If they had the opportunity, would they prefer to know what’s going to happen in the future or not? Why?

No. It’d give me way to much anxiety and that is saying a lot because not knowing freaks me out too.

How strongly do they listen to their intuition? Is their intuition usually correct or incorrect?

I think I listen to it 100%. Thankfully, it’s never led me wrong. I got a tarot reading once and they said one of my strongest capabilities was my intuition..

What kind of things get them frazzled or anxious? Do they tend to handle them well or get swept up in the moment?

Having too much work and too little time to do it, crowds in tight spaces, loud music and bustling people. Sometimes, I can handle all of these pretty well. Other times, I’ll get very anxious and start crying just because I’m overwhelmed.

Are there are any items they own that have sentimental value to them?

Pooh has sentimental value to me. I didn’t get him at a young age, but I did have a sentimental attachment to the character from the books. I’ve also got Cinderella snowglobe that I got as a kid. I don’t even like the character too much but it’s such a nice snowglobe and plays such a nice song that I never gave it away. I also keep movie tickets. I keep them in jar. I really don’t know why but it’s become important to me.

What kind of clothing and accessories do they prefer to wear? Are there are any particular reasons outside of general comfort that they like wearing these?

I prefer to be comfortable for the most part unless the occasion calls for something else. I stick to jeans, t shirts, leather jackets, nothing really extravagant. I’ll happily dress up for a party and I don’t really mind dressing up for business meetings either but I’ll always prefer comfortable clothes.

Can they withstand manual labor? Do they avoid manual labor as much as possible, and if so, why?

I can do it but I fucking it. I’ll avoid it but eventually I’ll force myself to do it.

How good is their memory? Has it always been like this or did something happen to make it this way?

I think it used to be good but as it’s gotten older, it’s not that great. I think that’s common though.

Are they sickly or get sick often?

I think I get sick easy. I’m not sure why either. Usually after being around a ton of people, I always end up having some type of cold. It’s annoying.

What sort of medication, if any do they have to take, if any? Do they refuse to take it, forget to take it, or do they prefer to keep on it?

I don’t really have any and I’m thankful for it.

What kind of textures (e.g. silky, rough, slick, etc) do they prefer?

I’m not really picky when it comes to clothing texture. I would prefer it to feel comfortable and soft but it doesn’t have to. The only thing I hate is when cotton t-shirts feel really thick and dry if that makes sense.

How ambitious is your muse and what are their current goals? To what ends will they go to to make those wishes a reality?

I’m pretty ambitious but I try to make sure whatever goals I have are reachable ones. But at this point in my life, I’m really happy where I am and don’t really have any goals other than do more creative things when I can.

How well do they manage their money?

Pretty good for the most part but if I’m ever around Freddie or Elton, I’m in trouble and will spend far too much.

What sorts of things bring your muse comfort in trying times? Are there any habits they have when things get difficult to help cope?

Candles, ice cream, bubble baths, tv and Pooh.

Are they pessimistic, optimistic or somewhere in the middle? Was there anything that happened to them in their life that caused them to think in this way?

I’m pessimistic when it comes to myself but optimistic for other people. But if it’s about me, I automatically assume the worst will happen. It’s just always been that way.

Is your muse the creative type in any way? How do they usually express their creativity?

I’m pretty creative. I love writing, acting and stuff to do with film making. I usually expres my creative with writing though.

Do they have any sort of outlet they use as a means to cope (e.g. writing, drawing, playing music, etc.)? How’d they get into it if they do?

Writing for sure. When I’ve been really upset, I’ll write my feelings out to try to understand them in the moment and later.

Do they have anything that they have natural talent in? If so do they enjoy doing it or is it something they tend to forget about?

Acting, I suppose? That was something no one ever really taught me to do.

Are they a passionate person or do they tend to be more down-to-earth?

I’m passionate depending on the topic. But for the most part, I’m down-to-earth.

Are they the sort to wear their heart on the sleeve? If not, why?

In a way. I can’t control my emotions for the most part and usually if I’m upset or angry it pokes through. But when it comes to eagerly accepting love, no. One bad experience sort of made me hesitant to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Are they able to multi-task or do they prefer to keep at one thing at a time?

One thing at a time. I can multi-task but I understand everything a lot better if I can fully focus on one thing.

How big is their imagination? Do they tend to share these ideas or keep them to themselves?

I have a pretty big imagination but I keep it to myself unless I know someone really wants to hear what ideas I have.

Do they tend to get lost in their own thoughts/daydreams?

I can if things are dreadfully boring. But I can usually force myself to remain focused.

#( 1974 is like the golden year for these )#╰ curvy cayla ╮#♫ play the game (queen fic)#✧ modest musings ✧

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xtoxicblueberry · 7 years

Photo

((not my art, that was done by the wonderful, and lovely @ronyascribbles)

“ I will help you if so desired, if you need my staff or bow just call me. ”

Name: Kari Age: 20-24 Gender: Female Nationality: Nohrian Race: Human Birthday: 08/02

Height: 5'4" (162.56 cm ) Eye color: Apple green Hair color: Light blue Hair style: Typically up, mainly in twin tails. She will wear it in a bun if she’s either in the bath house or its just a super hot day. Though she will wear it down at times. Clothing style: Other then her adventure outfit that she wears to battle; she typically wears comfy clothes. Tank tops and short shorts or pants, depending on the weather. Her clothes are typically black.

Hobies: walking Around, exploring, window shopping. Likes: Talking to people she gets along with, playing with Animals, looking at things she finds interesting, almost all things sweet, ice coffee, relaxing, enjoying nature, making up stories about her scars and seeing how far she can go and what people would believe, stimulating conversation, storms, and rainy weather. Dislikes: Being around so many people, being touched in any way, by a person, unless she is very close with said person, talking to someone she just met, messy things, getting dirty, chocolate flavored things.

Personal Skill: Vigilante - Grants +20 Hit/Str/Crit if attacking a unit that has attacked another unit without a weapon equipped.

Affiliation: None (Recruitable in Birthright, Conquest, and Revelation. )

Roster: A traveling young woman without a set destination. Cold and distant, she is hard to befriend. If you gain her trust she will become a very loyal and trust worthy friend. Most likely to comfort others in distress. Born August 2nd.

History: Kari was born a high class Noble, her father was a leader of one of the higher up fractions from one of the many armies under King Garon, her father was a great Knight and her birth mother was a troubadour. They met in the army. Shortly after Kari’s birth, the mother was killed on the battle field. Her Father developed the habit to get Kari any and everything she could ever want; going above and beyond what she would ask for. He became doting and spoiled her. Though she didn’t like it, her father had her take many lessons, some consist of Piano, violin, dance, chess, singing, stiching and anything else that he felt a proper lady should know how to do. To try and make sure the loss of her mother didn’t affect her to much, he remarried. The woman had the wicked step mom Syndrome, she never wanted children. She would act innocent and kind in front of Kari’s father, but once he wasn’t there she would be mean and horrid. She was a pure Noble woman, both her parents came from money, she never worked a day in her life. She was a floozy and only looked for money in men. She cared more about her social status and looks above all else. She would never allowed Kari to call her “mother” or “mom” though she was in her life for many years. Kari was mainly raised by butlers and maids, due to the demanding hours of her fathers job. This caused her to say humble and kind. The maids and Butler’s tought her many life skills, such as cooking and proper cleaning techniques. she would often help them out with chorus, for fun. When she was still young, but old enough to take care of her self, her father died in battle. Leaving her with the step mom whom really didn’t want anything to do with her. One night, she slipped poison into Kari’s food, though an elderly maid whom took care of Kari since she was born stopped it from ever reaching her. Thus as punishment, the woman made the maid eat the food, losing the closest thing to a mother she had left. After Kari’s father passed, her step mom would bring home a different man every night. One night, the man she took home turned out to be a thief. Him and his small gange turned over the house killing all who lived there. With the help of some maids and Butler’s, Kari managed to stay hidden for a long time, but once he found her he tried to end her life. Though he failed, the man did however leave a large scar going down the left side of her face and partly her neck causing her to have nerve damage on most her face and lose eyesight in that eye. Once she was able to move around once more, she went to an old friend of her fathers. He managed to save her eye. Once he fixed her, and she was fully healed, she left. She now wonders around, she does what she needs to do to survive.

RECRUITMENT

Birthright Recruitment Recruited In: Chapter 12: Dark Reunion Recruitment: The Avatar must talk to her. Starting Class: Adventurer Starting Level: 16 Motivations for joining the Avatar: She wants to help end the war.

Conquest Recruitment Recruited In: Chapter 14: Voice of Paradise Recruitment: The Avatar must talk to her. Starting Class: Adventurer Starting Level: 16 Motivations for joining the Avatar: She wants to help end the War.

Revelation Recruitment Recruited In: Chapter 13: A lost Peace Recruitment: The Avatar must talk to her. Starting Class: Adventurer Starting Level: 16 Motivations for joining the Avatar: She wants to help end the war.

UNIT STATS

Asset: Speed Flaw: Resistance Skill(s): Point Blank, Luna, Resistance +2, Locktouch, Pass Weapon(s): Killer bow, Recover, Mend Class Sets: Adventurer Heart Seal > Maid

SUPPORTS

Romance Supports: Corrin (M), Jakob, Kaze, Saizo, Subaki, Silas, Xander, Azama, Hayato, Kaden, Hinata, Ryoma, Takumi, Arthur, Keaton, Odin, Leo, Laslow, Benny, Shura, Niles.

Other Supports: Corrin (F), Felicia, Rinkah, Orochi, Setsuna, Mozu, Oboro, Kagera, Nyx, Beruka, Peri, Charlotte, Selena, Asugi, Dwyer, Sigure, Sophie, Shiro, Kiragi, Selki, Mitama, Rhajat, Siegbert, Forrest, Ignatius, Velouria, Soleil, Nina.

Ideal (‘Canon’) Spouse: Keaton or Shura

QUOTES

Event Tile: “ Hum? What’s this? ” (item) “ No such thing as to much practice.. ” (exp) “ Hmm.. I feel I’m improving.. ” (weapon proficiency)

Level Up: “ Wow! I impress myself sometimes! ” (6+) “ There’s always room for improvement. ” (4-5) “ Do I disappoint you? ” (2-3) “ Tch, that’s it? ” (0-1) “ forgive me! ” (0-1, most skills capped)

Class Change: “ This is new.. ”

Support: “ I got your back! ” “ I’ll help you! ” “ don’t worry I got you! ” ” I’ll keep you safe! ” “ I’m here for you! ” “ Who’s the enemy here? Hehee kidding~” “ Don’t back down! ”

Attack Stance: “ Let me have a go! ” “ I’ll take a shot! ” “ My turn! ” “ Time to strike! ”

Guard Stance: “ Time and place! ” “ I thought I was the blind one! ” “ I won’t let them hurt you! ”

Critical / Skill: “ I have no mercy for scum like you. ” “ I’ll make you pay! ” “ I won’t hold back! ” “ I’ll shoot you down! ”

Defeated Enemy: “ On to the next. ” “ To easy. ” “ I suppose that was amusing. ”

Partner Defeated Enemy: “ Nice shot! ” “ I missed that do it again! ” “ killer shot! Hehe. ”

When Healed: “ This is a nice change of pace. ” “ Thanks! ” “ Who are you again? Kidding~”

Defeated by Enemy: “ I-I didn’t see you coming.. ”

Death Quote: “ This is it.. Mother.. Father.. I’ll.. See you Soon.. “

Retreat Quote: “ Ugh! It’s to blurry, I can’t tell who is who! I have to fall back! I don’t want to hurt an ally”

DLC Battle Quotes: Boo Camp “ You’re the monsters everyone’s talking about? You aren’t so scary.. I’ll show you true horror! ” Museum Melee “ Ooo ~ I see something shiny ~ that’s mine now hehee” Ghostly Gold “ Huh… Ghosts… Who would have though.. All well, time to die again~” Anna on the run “ I know my eyesight isn’t the best.. But I think I’m seeing double.. ”

Confession Quote: “ I don’t need my sight to see how much you mean to me. You have my heart now and forever…. (I hope you know what you’re getting in to. Hehee)”

MY CASTLE QUOTES

Castle Grounds Alone - ” Talk about a sugar rush! “ (surge) - ” I snuck in some training, I hope it paid off. “ (weapon proficiency) - ” This is NOT where this belongs, who left it here? “ (item) - ” What do you think will look good on me? “ (accessory) - ” Wow! Thank you! “ (accessory given) - ” So pretty! “ (accessory given) - ” Is.. This a joke? “ (accessory given, not liked) - ” Hehe thanks shall I try it on now? “ (Bath Towel given) - ” Hehee thank you, this means a lot to me. “ (Friendship birthday present) - ” Ahh hehee you know me so well ~ I love this so much! I’ll cherish it always. “ (Lover birthday present) - ” Hmm? Did you need something? “ (idle) - ” W-what? No I was not just dancing! “ (idle) - ” La laa la ~ W-whaa!! H-how long have you been there?! “ (idle) - ” Is someone there? Hehe ~ I’m kidding! I see you just fine. “ (idle) - ” Wow aren’t you cute ~ don’t I know you from somewhere? Hehe “ (idle, married) - “oh? A new face I see, let me know if you need anything. ” (visiting another castle)

Asking - Normal “ What has you so happy? Did something good happen? ” (happy) “ What do you think your future holds for you? ” (dreams) “ I’ll watch your backside- I mean back in the next battle, sound good? ” (team up) “ Indulge me in my curiosity… How do you spend your down time? ” (free time)

Replying - Normal “ I love the feeling I get when I finish cleaning. ” (happy) “ I hope to find true happiness one day. ” (dreams) “ Alright, no promises I won’t mistake you for the enemy ~ I’m kidding, I’m kidding! ” (team up) “ I often walk beyond the camp boarders, or wonder around the forest. ” (free time)

Private Quarters Friendship “ You called me for something? ” (invite) “ I baked some cookies, want one? No I didn’t put salt instead of sugar in them this time. ” (invite) “ Hehee now this will be fun ~ ” (invite, MU is married)

Lovers “ Hey! I finished cleaning up, don’t mess it up. ” (greeting) “ I missed you! Don’t leave me again.. ” (greeting) “ I-I’ve been practicing my violin.. Would you mind listening? ” (greeting) “ Hehee that’s the best sight to wake up to. ” (awakening, good) “ Do that again and you will regret it.. ” (awakening, bad) “ My hair is such a pain to dry.. ” (greeting, cool down) “ Hehee thanks that felt nice ~ your turn now ~ ” (cooling down successful) “ Oh my! How beautiful! Thank you! ” (flowers)

Bonding “ If that’s all you need, mind if I go? ” (friendship bonding) “ It was a pleasure spending this time with you. Invite me again some time. ” (friendship bonding) “ I’m glad we can spend this time together.. These are the happiest moments of my day. ” (lover bonding) “ I just want to hold you in my arms and never let go.. Promise you won’t leave me.. ” (lover bonding) “ Come here for a moment, Hehee I’m not going to bit you… (See, I told you I wouldn’t bite you, This time. Hehe) ” (kiss)

Extras/little quirks: She won’t dule someone unless there is a wager of some sort; even if she manages to win she will let the other party have their winnings as well. After her father passed away she continues to practice all the things he wanted her to learn when ever she can. Typically after doing one of them she would cry a little and say softly to her self, “are you proud papa? ” or “am I improving father? ” she can be fairly vain when it comes to her hair, she takes pride in its soft silky texture. When she’s in deep thought she will twirl the ends of her hair. Because of the damage to her left side of her face, she can no longer produce tears from that eye. The left eye is also significantly lighter in color, and has a small thin line down it from where it was cut. Though she hates chocolate flavored things she loves normal chocolate. If she eats anything remotely spicy she turns red and gets sick, if it’s really spicy she will pass out. She is very flexible and uses it to an advantage in hand to hand fighting.

#fire emblem #Fire emblem fates #Fire emblem if #original character #fatesona

11 notes · View notes

chaoussu · 7 years

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Name: Hatake Inori Age: Part II: 18-20. Birthdate: 14th February (Aquarius) Nickname(s): KSX094. (Orochimaru) Inori-senpai. (Team Hana while undercover in the group). Inori-san. (Mo-Chiyome Performance group and customers/fools). Sensei. (Sakiko). Blood Type: O- Kekkei Genkai: Sharingan, Rinnegan. Occupation: Shinobi, Rank Jōnin Commander. Regular Envoy. Mercenary (former). Performer (former). Bounty Hunter (former). Experiment (former). Affiliation/Organizations: Konohagakure. Allied Shinobi Forces. Mo-Chiyome performance group (former). KSX Operation (former). Team: Fifth Division. Mo-Chiyome performance group (former). KSX Operation (former). Birthplace: Konohagakure. Familial Background: She possesses the blood and DNA of both the Senju and Uchiha, due to Orochimaru having taken the samples from Madara Uchiha’s and Hashirama Senju’s corpses. This was due to trying to make her obtain both the Sharingan and the Wood Style. She also possesses the DNA of Tsunade and Kakashi Hatake, so she could obtain talent in both ninjutsu and medical abilities, as well as become a prodigy. Due to being a synthetic human made by Orochimaru, she is somewhat Mitsuki’s older sister. She however read that a child is composed of the DNA of their mother and father, and thus sees Tsunade as her mother and Kakashi as her father. She sees Orochimaru as the equivalent of a doctor at a hospital, while Madara and Hashirama are great grandfathers, due to their age and the fact that Hashirama is Tsunade’s grandfather. Character Background: She was an experiment made by Orochimaru. While there were many subjects, she was one of five that survived and the only one that managed to obtain the rinnegan, after killing her own “siblings”. She was trained much like a root ninja, but after running out of books and scrolls to study with, she began stealing some during her missions. However some of them contained ordinary human knowledge like family, friendship and fictions with morals. From them she began to study about, what it meant to be “human”. Later on she met Itachi, who shared her wonder about what war, life and humanity was. The two got acquainted by training and discuss together. This became her first somewhat close relation to any human. Once on a mission to Suna, she was supposed to seal and steal Shukaku. She however chose to act as a child, and got close to the young and lonely Gaara that tried to make friends. All due to the sand defense he possessed. She originally tried to make him turn into Shukaku, however as time passed, she eventually truly held him dear and found him as a friend. She changed her view, the moment Gaara gave her a truly happy smile, with no ulterior motive or any negative thoughts and ideas. She ultimately chose to fail the mission and was forced back by Orochimaru. She was discovered, when Orochimaru became a missing-nin, and the place she was training at got found. She had full knowledge about the KSX operation, due to reading her own files and was given a pardon, on all the missions’ she had received from Orochimaru, in exchange of telling them about everything she knew. Additionally due to Kakashi’s mood after the death of Minato, as well as, her possessing his DNA, she was introduced to Kakashi, as a distant relative, and he was told to help her, get used to Konoha. However Danzou, who had heard the secret about her, send the Anbu after her, which led to her running away and never returning to Konoha, before the middle of the Fourth Shinobi World War.

Height: 166 cm. Weight: 45 kg. Tattoos/Birthmarks/Scars: She has “KSX094” tattooed on the back of her neck. Jewelry/Accessories: She wears two belts for her scrolls. A red one where they are visible, and a dark blue one with pockets for her other scrolls. The belts also carry the holster for her tantō. She wears a shuriken holder on her right leg. She also wears a bracelet, she was given as a birthday present. She wears her forehead protector on her left upper arm. Voice: Mimori Suzuko – (Momozono Nanami Kamisama Hajimemashita)

About the Character:

Personality: She is open-minded and talks truthfully to people, believing that being dishonest and keeping you to yourself would only create a cliff. She is active and social, which is why she likes travelling. Additionally she just likes to have fun and great times, having great interest in new things. This can cause her to sometimes be rather childish and she is so friendly towards people that she doesn’t show so much respect as she carelessly treats people, however she wants, and does whatever she wants. She however understand social statuses and titles, so despite not truly caring, she uses her acting, to act respectful and responsible in front of people with said titles (unless they’re on friendly terms, yet again if they’re working).

She can be rather optimistic and forgiving, capable of even forgiving people, who once were after her life, claiming she might’ve deserved it, due to her past, thinking it was their duty, or because she doesn’t want to cause a circle of hatred. She has a lot of patience due to Kakashi being her family. She is also very independent and even goes on some missions alone, due to being good enough to take care of it herself. She can also be very stubborn, not backing down, but is also very obedient towards orders due to her past. She is also mentioned to be crazy, creative for her ideas and plans. She is encouraging, caring and tends to help out people and put others before herself. She has been mentioned as motherly for her ability to take care of housework, needlework and children. She emits warmth now, but can revert back to her coldness during missions or when pissed.

(Most of her personality traits originate from her acting. Just like Kabuto and Itachi, who lost themselves, Inori lost herself too. However instead of struggling with herself, she chose to adopt the persona, she felt most comfortable with, which later became her true self.)

Likes: Nature and animals. Dislikes: Needless killing. Favorite Foods: Bento. Least Favorite Foods: Anything pickled. Hobbies/Interests: Learning new things, travelling & crafting.

Phobias/Fears: Her past mistakes and accomplishments. While no longer scared of him, Inori still feels a great discomfort around Guy and screams if he suddenly appears in front of her or gets too close. She also feels this way towards Rock Lee due to reminding her of Guy. Habits:

- Appearing out of nowhere and surprising/scaring people by doing so. - Being brutally honest and very threatening when pissed. - After having killed someone, she tends to pray for them once, when she has the time, and if possible give them a grave. - After a fight she tends to brush her hand through the top of her hair and out, which creates the split in the middle or split on the side depending on whether she is being relaxed or serious.

Mannerisms: Very friendly and open-minded to others. However also mysterious in the way she never talks about herself, unless asked. She is also very literate in words. For instance she says, she was created not born, due to being created in a lab, much like a product. Additionally she doesn’t regard herself as a human. She also takes honor and pride in being honest, stating she has never lied. She also puts others before herself and greatly suppresses her own sadness and pain, not letting people see her cry. Skills/Talents: Photographic memory and quick-learner. She is also a very skilled actress, capable of fooling anyone with her acting and disguises.

Best Qualities: She is very determined to both fulfilling her missions, but also protect the people dear to her. She values honesty and friendship above all, even missions. Worst Qualities: She is very suicidal, risking and throwing away her life easily. Morality/Ethics: If killing isn’t necessary, then don’t kill. Never abandon your comrades. Goals/Motivations/Dreams: A home. “I wish for a home. One where I can casually visit friends and hang out with them till late, and then go back to my house, where I would say ‘I’m back’ and be greeted with a smile telling me ‘Welcome back’. I may have a house, but it is empty with no one inside, it is lacking the warmth of a true home” – Inori.

10 Facts Trivia:

- She wants to fight Itachi and Gaara, both to see where she is placed among the two other children, she once hung out with. - She went by “Mochizuki Inori”, while travelling and being a part of the Mo-Chiyome performance group and was in the Maple Theatre group as an actress. - She was created in the form of a six-years-old girl, but her body remained in that form for many years, as her body wouldn’t age, before her actual age would catch up. - Her eyes and hair changes between serious times to relaxed times. o Serious: Her eyes are smaller and sharper. Additionally her hair gets split on the side with two strands on her face and two locks of her hair gets put over her shoulders and onto her chest. o Relaxed: Her eyes are bigger, rounder and softer. She also gets her hair split in the middle and all of it remains mainly on her back. - The only mission she has ever failed to complete was the one in Suna.

o When Shukaku finally appeared, she stopped him and brought him outside of Suna, to seal him, but then Yashamaru told her that if Shukaku was extracted from him, he would die. This led her to hesitate and ultimately give up on her mission. When the Kazekage, Rasa, appeared and demanded an explanation, Yashamaru covered for her, due to her being Gaara’s friend and the choice she made.

- She was given the White Light Chakra Sabre, by Kakashi on the first birthday that was held for her, while the bracelet was given on the last, before she left Konoha. - She made “Mr. Cuddles” as a birthday present to Gaara, during her time in Suna. - She is expected to die when she reaches her fifties, as she is not a perfect creation. (technically, not physically). - She is good at gambling and has a high tolerance against alcohol. Though she is not addicted to either.

(To Tsunade, when she questioned, if they could trust her)“Lies and mistrust will only broaden the cliff between two lands”

(To Itachi when they were kids after being asked for advice about Danzo’s order)“You have two choices. You can choose to betray your heart and fulfill your duty, or you can choose to follow your heart and refuse your duty. If you choose to fulfill it, congratulations you’ve succeeded in being a shinobi, however if you choose to follow your heart, you’ve succeeded in being human”

(To Gaara when they were kids and he got upset, due to her calling him weird all the time)“I like weird people, they’re interesting. They’re not as simple as ordinary people, and their weird features make it more fun to get to know them. I pity those who judge a person for being extraordinary. It prevents them from getting a great friend like you”

Naruto/Naruto Shippuden belongs to Masashi Kishimoto Hatake Inori belongs to me

#oc #naruto #naruto shippuden #narutoshippuden oc #shinobi #kunoichi #hatakeclan #manga #anime #hatake inori #hatake clan #admission #freestyle #ref

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youdecode · 4 years

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20 Best Hacks of How to look sophisticated & How to look classy and rich?

Wondering how to look classy every time? How to look sophisticated everyday?

Well, this blogpost has got you covered with the essentials.

Surprisingly, you do not have to do a lot to make a great difference.

The magic lies in all the little things which you can incorporate in your daily routine.

Without further ado let’s dig in:

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#1 How to look sophisticated with Fabrics?

Let’s talk about a simple guide of choosing clothes for boosting classiness.

Ensure that you have spotless clothes.

They must be well-pressed. Instead of investing in several seasonal items, it is wise to invest in timeless wardrobe pieces.

I will suggest you invest in a quality fabric that won’t wrinkle easily.

Many people prefer cotton but it is not a wise idea.

Rather invest in satin, silk or cashmere as these are considered quality fabrice and give classy appeal.

The best part about these items is that they will look expensive no matter how simple or basic they are.

#2 When in Doubt, Wear White

If you have absolutely no idea how to style yourself in a certain outfit then the best bet is to change the outfit itself!

Replace it with a simple white jumpsuit.

If you do not know yet then many people consider white dresses a simple weapon. . . which is always there in the closet.

#3 Wear More Black to look Sophisticated

We have talked about wearing white when you are absolutely lost. But we have talked about black!

If I will start writing about adding black in your look then I am sure it will take up your whole evening.

Do not forget that carrying black signifies confidence and maturity.

Ladies black is love so whenever you get the opportunity just add it up in your look.

Talking about me? My whole look itself is mostly black!

#4 Get Structured Bag to look Rich

Have you invested in a structured bag yet?

If not then now is the time to make elegance part of you.

A beautiful structured bag can be a bit pricey but trust me it is a timeless item to cherish.

You should ideally get a chic structured bag of neutral shades like of black, white or tan so that they could accompany you in all seasons.

Protip: When choosing a purse, pick the ones with chain straps that don’t discolor.

TRY THIS HACK:

#5 Neck Scarf to look Expensive

Have you paired neck scarfs with your clothes yet?

If not then now is the time.

Yes, it may just seem a simple accessory but it has the potential of boosting classiness in your overall look.

For adding sophistication you should invest in some cute neck scarves.

TRY THIS HACK:

#6 How to look sophisticated with Camel Coat

What comes to your mind when the word Fall season floats across?

Camel coat? Ah, nothing can beauty an expensive-looking camel coat in this season for a classy look.

Remember I am saying expensive looking!

It does not have to be all expensive.

Talking about fall, one pro tip for adding a pinch of classiness is investing in turtlenecks.

TRY THIS HACK:

#7 Pointed-Toed Shoes

If you have not yet experienced the magic of pointed toed shoes then now is the time.

Upon writing this, I am recalling my favorite pointed-toed shoes. . . they have all worn out now.

So it reminds me to invest in them myself.

Girl, if you are looking for intentional classiness then toed shoes are the way to go.

Pro-tip: Stay away from platform heels! As they can ruin the classiness . . .

TRY THIS HACK:

#8 Get Quality Leather Goods

Ah, Leather equals classiness. I am sure you know this but you keep forgetting.

So what is the drill?

Choose leather shoes, bags, or purses for creating the aura of wealth around you.

TRY THIS HACK:

#9 How to look sophisticated by Moisturizing

Get serious about skin care please! Have you been guilty of owning a dull dry skin?

A simple moisturizer has the potential of keeping your skin young and fresh.

It hardly takes a couple of minutes to get your skin all hydrated.

So make sure you are investing in a good moisturizing which is pampering your skin for you.

TRY THIS HACK:

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#10 Exfoliate to look Elegant

If you have not tapped into the power of exfoliation yet then now is time.

This is a very simple grooming tip but it can help you dramatically in the long run.

Everyone wants to delay the aging process, don’t we girls?

TRY THIS HACK:

#11 Maintain your hair to look Classy

It is great to follow hair trends but are you actually maintaining the health of your hair?

Ensure that your hair stays healthy and glossy each time. Invest in the best hair products for a long-lasting health.

What comes under the health of your hair?

Strength, cleanliness and glossiness.

Never go out with an oily scalp.

If you are absolutely running out of time then invest in a good dry shampoo.

TRY THIS HACK:

#12 How to look Classy with Red Lips?

Do nothing, just wear red lipstick.

I am sure you have heard this advice!

To give yourself an instant classic look you can finish off by applying the bold red.

Why do people stress on this color?

Well, this adds confidence and confidence means classiness.

Go for matte red which lasts long.

TRY THIS HACK:

#13 Get Tasteful Accessories to look Classy

Everything that matches your outfit is not supposed to be part of your accessories for the day.

Instead, get tasteful.

Yes, choose your rings, earring, and necklace wisely as they reflect the classiness.

Go for the accessories which will have a hard time in discoloring.

Just stay simple.

Yes, you do not need diamonds.

If you talk about me then I never pair a necklace and earring together.

I choose one of them, the one that brings the best in my overall look.

(Completely personal preference)

I stay minimal when it comes to accessories because remember that you are a centerpiece, not those flashy accessories.

#14 Get A Quality Watch

Have you ever noticed that whenever an actress has to portray a classy character, she will always have a quality wristwatch for boosting the very appeal?

I have noticed that zillion times and that is the truth.

You will find a rocking wrist watch adding elegance and confidence to the overall appeal.

TRY THIS HACK:

#15 Invest in decent sunglasses

Quality sunglasses can elevate your classiness to an undeniable level.

So what’s the drill?

Invest in classy looking glasses that complement the shape of your face.

Be mindful of the color of sunglasses.

They should resonate with your overall personality.

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#16 How To look Sophisticated with Makeup?

Is too much makeup your best friend?

Sadly, It is the enemy of classiness girls.

Stay away from too much of it. Rather try a light foundation.

You do not have to apply everything. . .

Choose your preference and a minimal prioritize makeup look, else you will be compromising a wealthy look.

It is not necessary to pair lipstick with blush and liner etc. Choose your preference.

#17 Fix Your Teeth

Remember, I was hinting to pay attention to details?

Yes, I am stressing again that details matter.

So you cannot ignore your teeth hygiene.

Ensure a perfect smile by taking care of your teeth.

TRY THIS HACK:

#18 Be particular about your Perfume

You will pass by . . . but your traces will be felt!

This is not a deep line of some poetry but rather an impact of your signature perfume.

You need to smell nice.

There is no other way out.

Many people do not realize that their smells tell a lot about them.

So to ensure an elegant personality go for a signature cologne or perfume.

Even basic body mist can do the job if it reflects you.

TRY THIS HACK:

#19 Pay Attention To Details

If you think that people notice the prominent stuff on your overall look then you are only partially right.

Because the real observation lies in the details.

You have to pay attention to details.

So you are all dressed up into nice shoes, expensive clothes, and bold makeup but . . . people are just staring at your chipped nails.

Not so cool!

So take care of the nails. Paint them and do the essentials.

Even the color of your nail paint speaks a thousand words so be cautious of picking the colors.

#20 How to look classy by Prioritizing?

Wear only one statement piece.

Whether it’s the shoes or the bag, make one item stand out.

Try not to layer too many pieces.

They’ll cancel each other out.

And you’ll end up looking like a mobile thrift shop.

Too many logos on your clothes do not help.

Before you go Know This Secret for how to look sophisticated . . .

Get into the habit of taking care of yourself.

The best advice you can follow to always look classy is valuing yourself.

Because:

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violetsandloveletters · 5 years

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A very long Q that’s taken a while to pass some time...

Do you actually love your grandpa? Grandad, of course, I love them both so much. Do you actually love your grandma? Nan & yes, again, I love & value them both so much, i’m very close to the grandparents on my mums side & honestly both my nan & grandad on that side are both my favourite people. Do you have Facebook? I do & I hate it, I only have it to see pics from my family in America & Spain tbh. What was the last thing you posted on someone’s wall? I wished someone a happy birthday but can’t remember who... Do you have MySpace? I did but haven’t used it in years, sucks that I lost all of my pictures on there. Loved that site tbh. What is your favorite kind of music? I love such a huge range of music tbh, like 80′s, Fall Out Boy, Arctic Monkeys, I listen to Motown when I clean... Honestly a bit of everything. Favorite soft drink? Pepsi Max is my everything quite honestly. Favorite food? Five Guys, chicken teriyaki from Yo Sushi! Krispy Kreme doughnuts, a decent cake- I love food so... Have you ever felt replaced? Of fucking course & it fucking sucks. Have you ever worn false eyelashes? I have & they are a bit of a pain. Do you ever regret making a friend? Yeah for sure. Can you cure mental illness? I don’t think you can cure it, learn to cope somewhat I yeah but I know for a fact that the shit I suffer with on a daily basis will never be cured nor will the trauma/shit just go away. Is God good? Athiest... Cats or dogs? I love both. I have a cat called Hades & would love a dog too someday. Do you play video games? Sims 4, I’ve loved Sims forever! Do you take medication for mental health? Yes I do. Can you really be racist to a white person? You can be racist to anyone... Do you have a favorite hair accessory? What does it look like? I’m boring so either a black scrunchie or the plastic spiral hairbands that don’t kink your hair & I have so many of them. What’s your favorite type of insect? Erm Dragonflies, caterpillars or bees. What’s your LEAST favorite type of insect? Maggots or spiders & moths are a love/hate. Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What did you say? What’s his/her favorite food? My friend Skye, can’t remember & I loved with her for a while so I should know this but she’s part Italian & an amazing cook so anything she cooks for herself i’m sure. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? Apart from the stuff we have at work which I kinda shut off from unless it’s something decent, Billie Eilish ‘Ocean Eyes’, i’m in love with it. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Nope. How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? I mean if it’s not heavy it doesn’t bother me tbh, you just can’t do much fun stuff lol. Does your ex have a job? Yeah. Have you ever slept in a car? On car rides yeah, I think I have with an ex once before though when we were supposed to camp but it was cold. What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? No idea, babe? How often do you use Flickr? Not for like 10 years. Have you ever been on a blind date? No. Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? No. Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? No. Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? Not sure really. How’s your appetite atm? I’m not hungry, I feel like i’ve just been eating for the sake of it since being ill the other week. Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? No idea, can’t think of once honestly. Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? No idea what it was. What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? Ooh tough question, somewhere like Turkey or Germany. If you were five years younger but knew everything at that age that you’ve actually learned over the last five years, what is one thing you would definitely do differently? Be stronger & don’t put up with any shit from anyone. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? My cat & that is literally it & the chance to have a child I guess but Hades for sure. What activity that you have to do every once in a while that you dread the most? Travelling to my mums, she lives about 5 min drive away but I don’t drive & it takes like 40mins by bus or longer by train. When people hear what you do for a living, what is the most typical question or comment they give you regarding your job? Idk, they like the shop but I hate having to explain why i’m on lower hours because of my health cos it’s kinda shitty at 27 when I used to work full time as a store manager. If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Not sure, it depends on my mood at the time I guess. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? No idea. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? The art history section or the bit with tarot cards & astrology & stuff. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take the bins out when I leave the house so I have to go back up to get them or leave post on the side & forget what they are about. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? How to important it is to make sure that just because you don’t agree or understand what someone else has said/is going through, doesn’t mean it’s not real/irrelevant. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? No idea, something inspirational I guess. Would you ever travel to Africa? Nah, don’t fancy it. Whose house were you last at? Mums. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Overdose I guess. Have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game? My brother is obsessed with PS4 & I love Sim 4 & can be on it for hours. Have you ever been fingered? Lol. What do you do the most when you are online? Youtube, research random shit, Tumblr, look for stuff to buy/can’t afford or look for places to live in my home town as I wanna move back. What video game have you played the most? SIMS 4 how many times do I have to mention this game :| Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? I don’t have anything to be ashamed of if that’s what you’re asking. What is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? No idea really. When and why did you last cry? Earlier, I cry literally all the time lately. When was the last time you drank? Alcohol? A long time, after being with D & his issues I hate it even more than I did before. Do you wear jewelry a lot? Earrings, belly bar & nose ring I never take out, I have a anklet I wear pretty much every day as well as my Tiffany ring & Tiffany bracelet from D & a necklace from my mum that says ‘Love you to the moon’ or an amethyst pendant on suede. I have like a small selection of random valuable jewellery I switch between rather than loads of costume cheap stuff apart from the 20ish chokers I have... Who in your household do you not have a good relationship with? None? Who in your life are you scared to lose more than anything? D, honestly I would die, same as Hades, they are my family. I nearly lost my mum in April & it was horrendous, but any close family really or my best friend. Honestly, would you rather be single or in a relationship? A relationship for sure. Do any of your friends not get along at all? D & my best friend possibly? What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Youtube, Tumblr & maybe ASOS haha. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? No idea, can’t think of anyone. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? I’m in the UK so neither. Who is your favorite model? Anyone male with long hair & a nose ring ha. What have you done that is out of character for you? I’m not sure really, i’ve changed a lot over the last few years & don’t take shit & will say exactly how I feel & have become very angry whereas before I used to be shy & bite my tongue a lot more than I used too. But physically I went to a concert on my own last year which was the ultimate ‘fuck it, i’ve gone mad’ moment as I was on the train there & tbh it was traumatising. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? So many things, I feel very strongly about a lot of things I just have never had a chance to actually go to a protest. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? Fuck knows, probably getting drunk years ago & blacking out. What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? I mean it’s not saying I can’t, more shouldn’t, but me & D getting Hades. What are you most thankful for? My family, D, Hades and the NHS. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? You can find some good shit. What do you like to put gravy on? Anything I possibly can! My fave midnight snack atm is yorkshire puddings & gravy or another of my faves is jacket potato with cheese & gravy. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Yeah, for a school trip once & I loved it. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Compliments of how I look & compliments on my boobs haha & also how much of a nice person I am & that i’m always there to listen & just nonjudgemental. What is priceless to you? Love & the good people I have around me. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? I’m not sure really. Do you keep a budget? Yeah I do, I use an app cos that’s waht you do when you’re an adult with many bills & your own place haha. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Having CFS/ME it’s hard to say because it’s a bit of a roll of a dice tbh, some days I could have an amazing night sleep or a relaxed day off but the rest & refreshed feeling could be short lived/non existent. A massage or a relaxing bath with Lush products helps clear my mind somewhat though. Who depends on you the most? My cat, & I guess my mum since she’s been unwell over the last few months. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Im petite & 5ft with size 2 feet... Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yeah, being cheated on. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? No. Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? No lol. I like what I like. Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? Yeah quite often, I love getting the train into London cos it’s just chill. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Somewhat. What embarrasses you instantly? I’m so easily embarrassed & so self conscious so literally anything. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? No, same as the bodyguard thing, i’m too small & have ME so the fatigue stops a lot. What do you think should be censored? Can’t think tbh. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? William the Conqueror which means the Queen too & Danny Dyer, Alexander the Great. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? I would & family I guess, haven’t really thought about it Have you ever fired a gun? No. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Hard to choose just one, just being a great teacher & loving & caring for them & helping the kid grow into a great person & always being there to guide & listen. Who is a female role model in your life? My nan. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Not really childhood but I wanted to be a dermatologist & I regret not training to do that, What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My future, when you loose the will to live a bit or suffer with trauma/suicidal thoughts or have a botched life/childhood it’s very hard to see anything clearly. The way I perceive people or myself or life will always be tainted I think. Would you travel to space if possible? Would be very cool, though space food looks rancid. Are you an optimistic person? Depends on the circumstance, I like to think im optimistic when it comes to relationships or D or whatever but in general im not. Im a logical person. Do you consider yourself more realistic OR idealistic? Bit of both. Have you ever felt bi-curious? Never, I like dick & dick is all it’ll ever be. Are you a fan of U.S. President Donald Trump? Not really. Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Erm me, hi! I suffer with multiple mood disorders. Are you green-eyed? Bluey green I guess. Would you consider UFC fighting and WWE real sports events? Not sure. Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? No. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? I currently work on a retail shop floor, but i’d prefer an office I think. Do you have a favorite wild animal? Why? I love wolves & tigers because they are both stunning & bats. Do you have any unusual, uncommon phobias? Mould, im terrified & me & my brother have trypophobia which is holes. Do you prefer Android or iPhone? Iphone. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? All, depends on the time of the month & mood, probs sweet & savoury are top. Do you believe climate change is real? 100000000% Do you believe in evolution OR creationism? Evolution! Do you think people can really predict the future? Hmmm, idk, I do believe in tarot & shit so... Have you been to a lot of shrinks? We don’t call them that here but psychiatrists & psychologists or councillors, yeah. How often do you clean your room? I have a whole flat to clean & once a week, usually Mondays are my ‘get my shit together for the week’ days. Any movies coming out soon that you want to see? It’s out now but Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. What was the last fear you overcame? Not sure. Have you ever hurt yourself trying to crack a body part? No. What’s the worst part about winter? My bedroom gets freezing so forgetting to put the heating on & freezing my ass off in the morning. Or when you layer up but have to travel on the tube or in shops & it’s fucking boiling. Also when it’s icy & trying not to trip over. Summer? Our houses in the UK are made to keep heat in not out so when it is a hot day we don’t have aircon & shit. Spring? Hayfever & the days where it’s warm enough to wear sandals. Fall? I love Autumn. Are you allergic to anything? Quorn & grapefruit & avocados/nuts can give me migraines. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Lots when my little brother was a baby. Which country has the most fascinating culture? Japan is crazy but I love anciet history so does ancient Greek & Rome count?. Who does your favorite song? Fuck that’s the most difficult question ever. When was the last time you wore makeup? Today. Do you prefer males or females or both? I have men issues but females apart from my best friend & family annoy me & most of my friends are men & so’s my cat so... Where in your town do you go when you wanna chill with a few friends? Me & my bestie would go to London. Where’s the best place to get coffee? I don’t drink coffee but I love a Costa. Have you ever seen someone struggle with an addiction? D, it was hell. In May I lost a friend because of addiction too & it really struck something inside. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? My nan brought me pink roses for my birthday this year & roses are my favourite. Do you like cranberry juice? Only in a Woo Woo cocktail.. Do you play any zombie-killing video games? No. What is the dominating genre on your mp3 player/iPod? 80′s everything! Do you have a book shelf? No. What website do you spend way too much time on? Youtube or Netflix or Now Tv on the telly. Do you like wind chimes? Yeah. Do you have a fetish? Maybe... Do you have a pet fish? No, I’ve had a few in my time though, my first pets were goldfish called Michael Jackson & Bubbles. Do you like kettle corn? Popcorn? Yeah. Do you enjoy classic rock? Looove! When was the last time you went for a walk, just cause? Never lol, probably the last time I went to my grandparents house as they live practically on the seafront & it’s just lovely where they live. Do you listen to Type O Negative? No. Do you have any fillings or cavities? No. Have you gotten your wisdom teeth taken out yet? No & hopefully don’t ever have too. Do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? I skim over yeah. Did you have a lot of birthday parties when you were younger? If so, did you invite everyone in the class? Yeah, my first party was the class but after it was friends. Do you like when things are color coordinated? YES & i’m very OCD about it. Have you ever participated in one of those “guess how many jelly beans, mints, etc. are in this jar!” contest? if so, have you ever won? Yeah, and no. Can you juggle? No. Have you ever mistaken a ringing phone on TV or in a movie for your own? Yeah, How often do you use bobby pins? Whenever I do a messy bun so often. Do you live on an avenue, road, drive or something else? Street. What are your school colors? The first was blue, the 2n’d was red & the 3rd was green. Have you ever taken a picture with Santa when you were little? Yeah. Have you ever rolled down a steep, grassy hill for fun? Yeah when I was younger. Do you like Nerds candy? Never had them!

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anavoliselenu · 7 years

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Creighton chapter 19

I wait for the guy to take a breath, and squeeze Justin’s arm. His attention shifts to me immediately, his dark eyes soft and . . . affectionate?

A wave of warmth slides through me, and for the first time since we climbed out of the limo, I’m not completely on edge and miserable. I need to learn to be comfortable by his side while he shines in his own spotlight. He’s a compelling man and I’m proud that he’s mine, but I have so much to learn before I’ll ever be confident in his world.

I clear my throat quietly to interrupt the close talker. “I’m going to excuse myself for a moment. I need to freshen up.”

Proud of myself, I mentally pat myself on the back for using a ladylike term rather than saying something like I’m going to take a piss. Considering the company I’ve been keeping for the past few weeks—like Boone and my band and the roadies—I probably deserve bonus points for that one.

I slip my hand from where it’s been clutching his arm—good Lord, I think I left a sweaty handprint on his tux—but Justin grabs it before I can withdraw it completely. He turns toward me, ignoring the now silent man, and uses my hand to pull me closer. He places his half-full drink on the tray of a passing waiter, and lifts his other hand to my face.

I watch the liquor as it’s carried away, unsure what the hell Justin is doing. PDA? I didn’t think he was the type, and I’m certainly not. My thoughts stall as he lowers his head to my ear.

“If I promise to stop talking about boring shit, will you promise to hurry back?”

I smile at his request. Leave it to Justin to say something to make me feel a little less out of place.

“If I don’t get lost.”

“Good enough.” His lips graze the very spot his breath just touched.

I step back, my eyes darting up to his. The warmth and affection are still burning in them.

As I walk away from the safety of his presence, a feeling of unease fills my chest.

Once I leave the ladies’ room, I take my time making my way back to Justin. It’s not intentional, I just keep getting distracted by all the cool exhibits. Who wouldn’t? It’s not like I’ve been here before, but I definitely plan to come back.

I pause in front of a piece of artwork on the wall that’s all wire and metal music notes. It sings to me. Given that music is my life, I can’t help but be drawn to it—and it’s not crazy ugly like some of the things I’ve seen tonight.

“Lovely, isn’t it?”

I turn to see a gorgeous woman with white-blond hair and a striking Kelly-green silk dress clinging to her every curve. Her boobs may be fake, but if they are, they’re the expensive kind of fake that makes it hard to tell. I feel like a guy checking out her rack and drag my eyes up to hers. Vivid green, just like the dress.

She doesn’t seem to notice my minor detour because she’s studying me in turn. Her eyes don’t catch on my chest, but on the necklace.

“Well, Justin’s certainly gotten more generous. That Harry Winston is to die for.”

I can’t read her tone. She doesn’t sound catty, but . . . something else.

“Thank you.”

She holds out a hand, and I can’t help but notice her perfect manicure. “I’m Annika Frederickson.”

We shake hands, and I open my mouth to say my name, but she beats me to it. “And you’re Selena Wix Karas.”

I think it’s interesting that she tacks the Karas part on, but I’m not going to dispute it. It’s just that most people who recognize me wouldn’t think to do that. But something tells me that she doesn’t recognize me from CMT, because I can’t picture her watching that channel, and on top of that, she already mentioned Justin. She’s obviously part of his circle.

“It’s nice to meet you.” I release her hand and turn halfway toward the door. “I should probably be getting back.”

She nods politely, and I’m a dozen feet away when she says, “I hope the third time’s truly a charm for Justin. Does that three-strikes rule apply to marriages? I suppose not, considering how many men and women I know are on husband or wife number four or five.”

My body freezes, but my brain races, repeating her words over and over. The blood rushing in my ears drowns out the noise from the crowded event only a hundred feet away.

Third time’s a charm? Three strikes?

What. The. Hell. We had the ex-wife discussion, and Justin told me about Shaw.

I smooth over my shock and turn back toward Annika. Her head is tilted toward me, as if she’s waiting for some kind of reaction.

I’m doing everything I can to keep from giving her one beyond saying, “I don’t know who you think you are—”

She smiles, condescension practically radiating brighter than her perfectly white teeth. “Because I suppose I didn’t introduce myself properly.” She holds out her hand again. This time her perfect nails look like claws.

“Annika Mitchell Karas Frederickson. I believe you could call me the original Mrs. Karas.”

I don’t shake her hand this time. I just stand there dumbly, in who-knows-how many hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, and stare at this woman. Now I see the calculating gleam in her eyes, and I have no idea how I missed it before.

“Oh, I take it he didn’t tell you about me. Not surprising. It must still be painful for him to talk about. I was the one who left him, after all.”

I’m blinking rapidly, trying to take in what she’s saying. “When? When were you married?”

“Years ago. But there are some wounds that never heal. I can’t say that I don’t regret my rashness to end it. We were both so young, so in love.”

I snort. “You couldn’t have been that in love if you left him.”

Her sly smile fades a degree. “Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love, even if it’s not what you truly want.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I think you should know what kind of man you’re married to. From what I can tell, and from what wife number two has shared with me, he hasn’t changed a bit.”

“What? You’re going to tell me he’s kinky?” I smirk. “Sorry, honey. Too late. I already figured that one out.”

“No. But I’m glad to see you enjoy being treated like a plaything. Because that’s all you’ll ever truly be. A toy. Something to be enjoyed and displayed when he needs you, and then tucked away or bought off when he’s done with you.”

Annika looks around the museum and then back at me, her gaze landing on the necklace. “Isn’t that what he’s doing tonight? Playing dress-up with you and bringing you out to show you off? Have you done anything tonight beyond hanging on his arm? Made any scintillating contributions to his endless business discussions? Or have you just been a pretty accessory?”

Catfight levels of rage are rising within me, held only in check by the small part of me that whispers, You know there’s some truth to what she says. It’s like the woman poked around in my brain and latched onto my biggest fear.

Well, screw her. I can smell a shit stirrer . . . but in her case, what she’s stirring is the truth. Still, I don’t need to listen to this. Letting someone talk crap about Justin to my face ain’t gonna fly.

“You listen here—”

“No,” she says quickly. “You listen. If you think for one minute that he’s going to want you for longer than you serve as that pretty accessory, then you’re delusional. He’ll never love you. I had everything in common with him—same schools, same friends, same social status, same hobbies—and there was nothing I could do to draw him away from his first love. Winning.”

Her eyes gleaming, she says, “He needs the rush. He’s an adrenaline junkie, but instead of getting his kicks from jumping out of airplanes, he gets them by checking yet another goal off his list. That stunt with the missed connection? A rather unique ploy for him to find you after a one-night stand because you piqued his curiosity. But do you really think you’ll satisfy him for long? You have nothing in common. You’re not even from the same social stratosphere. He’s probably lucky you didn’t speak tonight because that hillbilly twang of yours would draw attention to just how backwoods you really are. It might be quaint when you’re doing an interview on country radio, but in Justin’s world, you’re nothing but a liability.”

The blood rushing through my ears is back full force. I have no idea what she has to gain by flinging these hateful words at me, but she must have some motive.

I pretend I’m onstage after I’ve just messed up a lyric, and I push through, smoothing a smile on my face so no one will notice that I’m cringing inside at my mistake.

“Why are you telling me this? What reason could you possibly have?”

Annika lifts her chin, and I don’t know if her nose can get any higher in the air. “Consider it my public service announcement. I left him because I refused to be marginalized. You’ve got a good thing going with that country music shtick. I can only imagine it’s exactly what you’ve wanted since you were a little girl sitting in the trailer park listening to the radio in some broken-down car propped up on blocks.”

I wince. I don’t know where she got that image, but she’s altogether too close to the truth for comfort.

“And?” I prompt. I’m not willing to let her see me cower.

“And I thought, as a woman who’s known Justin for twenty years, you’d want to know exactly what you’re getting in to. If you think it’s worth giving up your dreams, you might want to reassess. Because for girls like you,” she points her finger at me, as if I need to know who she’s talking about, “if you don’t jump on your once-in-a-lifetime chance, you may never get another one. If I were you, I’d do some serious thinking about whether it was my dream career or a man I should be chasing harder.”

My heart thuds in my chest when she lays it out so baldly. I have no idea why she thinks it’s her place to tell me this, but I’ve heard enough.

“Thanks for the warning. I think we’re done here.”

Annika smiles, all grace and elegance again. Not a single trace of malice to be found. “It was lovely to meet you, Selena. I hear you’ve got a great shot at the New Artist Award this year. Best of luck.” And with that, she turns, green dress swirling around her ankles, and makes the best exit I’ve ever seen outside of a movie.

I, on the other hand, want to sink into the exhibit chair, curl up into a ball, and lick the wounds she’s left me with.

She has to have a motive for her words; she would never bother with me if she didn’t. But do her motives really matter? Even if everything she said was bull, it’s nothing I haven’t thought myself.

It’s time for me to face facts. Fact number one, I’m falling for Justin. Skip falling, I’ve fallen. It’s the first time I’ve acknowledged how deep I’ve gotten into this, and I swallow back the gut-wrenching fear it produces. Because what if she’s right? What if he gets bored as soon as the lipstick on the pig that’s me rubs off?

Absently staring at the beautiful works of art surrounding me, I wonder if this is how my future with him will always be. Evening after evening where I’m seen and not heard, and the only talent required of me is hanging off his arm without making a scene.

Is that all I have to look forward to as part of his life? That isn’t what I signed up for. I need to think, somewhere I’m not second-guessing every single move I make.

The crushing weight of everything—the grief and guilt and confusion and pressure and stress—bears down on me until my breathing shallows and dizziness hits me. I’ve felt off all night after my earlier breakdown, and now my forehead goes clammy and I stumble backward until I hit the wall and slide down it, not caring about the dress or how ridiculous I must look. I drop my head back against the wall, trying to breathe, but I just can’t get enough air into my lungs.

“Whoa. Are you okay? Shit. You don’t look so good.”

I don’t recognize the voice, and I don’t care. All I care about is trying to get enough oxygen into my body so I don’t pass out on this fancy floor.

The man barks out Justin’s name. I don’t know how much time passes—it could be seconds or minutes or hours, but soon Justin is crouching beside me, pressing my head between my knees, and saying softly, “Breathe, Selena. Just breathe. Slow down.”

I try to slow my breathing as he’s directed, trying to match him as he inhales and exhales. Eventually the clawing in my lungs subsides, and I raise my head slowly and stare into concerned brown eyes.

“Are you okay? What the hell happened?”

His soothing tone evaporates. His questions are sharp and demanding. My breathing picks up speed again.

“Oh shit. Calm down, Selena. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . . Let’s get you out of here.”

He reaches an arm behind my back, and I know he’s going to pick me up and carry me out of the museum. I’ll look like a complete idiot to everyone in attendance, and that’s not even including the pictures that will end up on the Internet. The next thing you know, TMZ will say I fainted because I’m pregnant, and I’ll be on baby-bump watch for the next six months.

I push his hand away. “I can walk.”

Justin’s gaze narrows, but he holds out a hand and helps me to my feet.

“Are you sure?”

I nod. “Let’s go.”

I’ve barely gotten out of my dress and into a comfy T-shirt and pajama pants before Justin knocks on the bedroom door.

The knocking throws me. He’s never done that before. The reason for it becomes apparent when the door swings open, and he walks in with a man I’ve never seen before.

I look sharply at Justin. “Um . . . what’s going on?”

“This is Dr. Wylie. He’s my personal physician. I asked him to come check you out.”

Of course he did, and without even bothering to ask me if I need a doctor. Too bad Dr. Wylie made an unnecessary trip.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Justin glances at the doctor and then back at me. “A moment, if you would.” Dr. Wylie nods and steps out of the room, and Justin closes the door. “He’s checking you out, and I don’t care what arguments you give me.”

“It’s not necessary.”

Justin shoves his hands through his dark hair. “You fucking collapsed in the middle of MoMA. Don’t tell me it’s not necessary.”

“I’m fine.”

“You obviously aren’t fine. And if you can’t tell me what the fuck happened, Dr. Wylie is checking you out.”

Tell him what happened? I don’t have a fucking clue what happened, so it’s not like I can give Justin the explanation he’s looking for. And I’m sure as hell not ready to tell him about my encounter with his other ex-wife. So I guess the doctor is checking me out.

“Fine. It’s not like anything I say is going to make a difference. You might as well send him in.”

I sit on the end of the bed, knowing I’m acting like a spoiled brat, but I want to get this over with so I can go to bed. I just need sleep and the dawn of a new day to see things clearly. I need to put some time and space between me and the things Annika said tonight. Her name burns on my tongue, and I’m dying to confront him.

Why didn’t he tell me about her? Was she the one who got away? I shake my head, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge the thoughts.

“What is going on, Selena? This isn’t like you at all.”

My head snaps up. “All of a sudden you know me so well?” Too bad I can’t say the same about him.

His face twists into a frustrated, bemused expression. It’s like he’s looking at me and there’s a sign above my head that says Unbalanced woman. Treat with more caution than homemade dynamite.

Just when I think he’s going to let my jab pass without comment, he says quietly, as if to himself and not to me, “I thought I did. Maybe I was wrong.”

I feel a pang in my chest, but refuse to acknowledge it.

“Send him in then. I just want to go to bed.”

Justin’s dark gaze burns into me. “If that’s what you want. But don’t think that means this subject is closed for good. You scared the shit out of me.”

“And almost embarrassed you too,” I add.

He just shakes his head, brow furrowed. “I’ll send in Dr. Wylie. I’ve got some calls to make, so don’t wait up.”

Justin apparently lied, because Dr. Wylie just left, and he’s hovering in the doorway. I can’t read him. I don’t want to read him. I just want to close my eyes and forget about everything that happened tonight, but that’s not in the cards.

Justin crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed. His suit jacket is gone, and his shirt is open at the collar, exposing his corded neck. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and his hands grip his knees.

He studies me for long moments before asking, “You want to tell me what the hell happened tonight?”

“Not particularly.”

“Then I’ll rephrase. Tell me what the fuck happened tonight.”

He’s losing patience with me. I should care more, but I’m not the one with ex-wives popping out of the woodwork.

“Or what?” I counter.

He releases one knee and brings his arm up, his hand shoving through his hair.

“What the hell is going on with you? Something happened. Because all of a sudden you’re not . . . Selena.”

Fuck it. If he wants to push, I’ll tell him.

“I met someone tonight.”

His face is expressionless when he says, “Go on.”

I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them, the same way I used to when I sat on Gran’s bed to tell her about school.

“Why didn’t you tell me I’m number three?” I ask, my voice completely devoid of emotion.

Justin goes very still. “Who told you about Annika?”

“What I want to know is why you didn’t.”

“Who told you?” he repeats, his tone hard.

I drop my arms and shove myself up the bed so I’m leaning against the headboard, arms crossed in front of me.

“Annika told me about Annika.”

Justin lifts his other hand and rubs the side of his face. “Fuck.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I agree with you. This conversation is best saved for tomorrow.”

Oh, hell no.

“I don’t think so. You’re the one who wanted to know. So now you know. Why didn’t you tell me? You told me about Shaw—why not Annika?”

He rises up from the bed and begins pacing the room. His back is to me when he says, “Because it wasn’t important.”

I blink, trying to comprehend what he just said. She was his wife. How is it possible that wasn’t important?

“It sounds pretty fucking important to me.”

He turns and paces back toward me. His mouth is pressed into a thin, tense line. “I was young and stupid. It doesn’t matter anymore. It has absolutely no bearing on our marriage.”

I’m processing his words and not liking them one bit. How can a marriage not matter. You don’t marry someone who doesn’t matter . . . unless you’re marrying the woman you had a one-night stand with but can’t find again.

“Is that what you’re going to tell wife number four about me? That it was just some stupid stunt and was fun for a while, but it doesn’t matter anymore?”

“What are you talking about, Selena?”

“You just told me that you married a woman, presumably loved her, and now she’s not even worth a mention. I’m just trying to figure out how women rate in your life after they’ve outlived their usefulness to you.”

“You’re being unreasonable,” he growls. “It was a long time ago. I didn’t love her. It was a whim.”

I cluck my tongue. “Good to know she and I have more in common than I thought.”

His jaw is clenched so tight, I’m almost positive he’s going to start breaking teeth. Finally, he bites out, “You have nothing in common with Annika. Not one fucking thing.”

All the blood drains from my face, and I’m freezing, even though I’m surrounded by a warm pile of blankets.

“You’re right. She had everything in common with you, and she was kind enough to point out that I have nothing in common with you and am just a toy to be played with while I’m new and shiny. I’m surprised she didn’t sticker me with an expiration date. Although, I hear they’re taking odds on that in Vegas.”

Justin winces. “That’s not what I fucking meant. Don’t twist my words around.”

The words are flowing now, and I can’t stop them. “I’m just taking them at face value, Justin. Do you have any other ex-wives hiding in the wings I need to know about? Any secret children or mistresses you don’t think are important?”

His nostrils flare and the muscle ticks in his jaw. I can sense the moment when I’ve officially pushed him too far.

I’m staring at the woman I’m in love with—that’s right, fucking in love with—and in the space of a heartbeat, I realize she doesn’t feel the same way about me. Maybe she never will.

Pain claws through my chest, matching the fear that tore through me when someone came running to get me after she collapsed at MoMA. Her every breath matters to me more than my own, and she’s completely oblivious.

She’s also oblivious to the fact that she’s finding my breaking point. Years of trying to earn someone’s love and being met with contempt at every turn grips my throat like a stranglehold. I lost my parents to a horrific attack, and instead of being welcomed into a family that would love and accept and comfort me, I walked into completely the opposite, into the care of someone devoid of any feelings that would help a grieving boy deal with the loss of his parents.

Even after everything, Selena doesn’t trust me. Objectively I know I should have told her about Annika, but that is my own private failure, and compared to what I feel for Selena, Annika is completely inconsequential and meaningless. It’s like trying to compare a raindrop to a hurricane.

My words strike like lashes, and the driving force behind them is the knowledge that whatever I thought we were building is nothing but a figment of my imagination.

“If you’re looking for a reason to get out of this, Selena, I’m sure you can find one. I’m not going to beg you to stay.”

Her face hardens into a nearly unrecognizable mask, and I wait for the cracks to show at my words.

But I get nothing except silence.

I’m not going to beg for her affection. Selena’s made it clear that she can’t be bought, and apparently I’m not deserving of it through my actions.

I watch her face, eyes riveted, waiting for a single hint that there’s something to fight for, but right now, she might as well be a stranger to me.

My temper is yanking on its chain, and I know I need to leave before I say something I can never take back.

I turn on my heel and head for the door. My steps are measured, and all I want from her is a single word. Maybe two.

Don’t go, I want her to say.

But she says nothing.

And I’m gone.

Pride is a dangerous thing, but when it’s all you have left, how do you make yourself let go of it?

Hours later, I’m still curled up in the mammoth bed alone. I shift my face away from the wet spot on my pillow, refusing to acknowledge that I’ve soaked it with my tears.

When did my life get so complicated? Oh yeah, when I decided to marry a guy I only met once—and by met, I mean banged until I could barely walk.

I think about what Dr. Wylie told me. His diagnosis: panic attack, caused by stress. His prescription: take some time to relax and get away from the stress.

It’s thinking about that last part that caused the tears to start running.

I can’t stay in New York, but I don’t want to go back to Nashville.

There’s only one place I can think to go.

Home.

It echoes in my head as I finally fall asleep.

Justin never comes back. When I open my eyes at seven a.m., his side of the bed is empty and still neatly made, no impressions in the pillow. I wonder if he ever even came back to the penthouse. I pull on a sweatshirt and socks, and go investigate.

It’s still expensive, perfect, and completely unwelcoming.

I don’t belong here. The panic starts to rise again. It’s sharp and fast, stealing any rational thought. Words flash back through my brain like they’re lit with neon.

“It wasn’t important.”

“It was a whim.”

“You’re nothing like Annika.”

The slam of the door.

I don’t belong here.

Then a new phrase pierces through on a continuous loop.

I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here.

The words drown out every other thought until I find myself in my closet, tossing on the first thing I grab before shoving clothes into a bag. I stumble into the bathroom and grab random shit off the counter and from the drawers until my suitcase is full. I don’t know what I’ve packed. I don’t care.

I have to get out of here.

I rush through the living room and into the kitchen, spying the same damn notepad I used before.

Justin’s going to want to kill me when he gets home.

But I’ll already be gone.

I scrawl the same two words, but this time for an entirely different reason.

Good-bye, Justin.

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