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butlersxbirdy · 2 years

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You Light My Morning Sky

Part 2: But If You Hold Me Without Hurting Me You'll Be The First Who Ever Did

Warnings: Extreme angst, sadness, comfort, mentions of Gladys and Lori, mentions of The Photoshoot(tm)

The day had started out perfectly.

Austin had woken up feeling ready to take on the day and take care of you a little. You woke up with your bathrobe all laid out and ready for you, and the smell of breakfast cooking. You got up and asked him if he wanted to eat first or shower alone. He reached forward to give you a kiss and spin you close, sweeping you off your feet.

"Well good morning to you too," he smirked in response to your abrupt greeting, and served you your favorite light breakfast. He wanted to stay close but he wasn't feeling as submissive today, allowing you both to just be together and do things for each other. He painted your toenails, and you did his skincare, all in preparation for the photoshoot.

Part of what had Austin vibrating with excitement was the fact that you were going with him to the shoot today. He couldn't be happier to have you come with him and praise him when he did good or looked particularly sexy.

"What are you gonna wear, Mamas?" He asks, getting dressed in sweats and a t shirt.

"Baby, its a photoshoot of you. I don't think it matters much what I'm wearing," you laugh, and suddenly he's right beside you, hands holding your face as though he's about to kiss you.

"Yeah..." he leans in, lips hovering above yours. "I suppose no matter what you'll still be the sexiest thing there. I knew what I was getting myself into when I chased your tail like a puppy dog," he smacks your ass and kisses you tenderly. You kiss him back, pulling his hair a little, and he moans.

"Mmm... Mama, you do that, and I'm gonna make a big mess before we have to leave," he bites his lip, and you kiss him softly.

"Sorry baby. I know you've been looking forward to this, do you wanna pick my outfit? You did such a good job painting my nails," you smile and he blushes, head bowing, and he bumps you with his head, nuzzling you and the move is familiar.

"You've been hanging out with Timmy too much, turning into a pony like him," you giggle, and he winks at you, his trademark goofy wink.

"How about now?" He asks, and you kiss his chest softly, just once.

"There's my Aust," you hum and he holds you close while picking out some comfy crossband leggings that always make you look amazing and one of his loose plaid button downs. He hands you a ribbed bralette in your favorite color, and puts the oversized flannel on you over the small garment. He rolls up the sleeves to your elbows for a slouchy look, and adds some of his jewelry to your wrists, making sure the necklace he gave you is on your neck.

"There's my girl," he grins, kissing your neck where the chain rests.

"I need panties still," you smile, holding the leggings he picked out in your hand. He knows you're trying to keep it together, and he smiles broadly.

"I know, Mamas," his voice is low, and alluring, but his body language is efficient and focused. He wants to make you look and feel amazing. He goes to the dresser and grabs your favorite comfortable but sexy panties, and he kneels in front of you with them, putting them on you slowly, kissing your skin as he slides the material up your legs and over your hips.

"Okay, I don't think I can get your leggings on you without both of us falling over," he laughs and you nod, both of you dissolving into giggles. He pulls you on to the floor and you wiggle into your leggings while he caresses and tickles your skin. Breathless with laughter, you finally finish dressing. Austin helps you up and checks you out, and you check yourself out in the mirror, adding some platform wedge sneakers for a slight edgy addition to how effortlessly sexy you look.

"Do I have time to put on makeup?" You ask, and he bites his lip, looking at you.

"Can I do it?" He asks, and you can't help but melt a little at this man. It never ceases to amaze you how much love he has for you. You sit down so he can work his magic. He concentrates on every detail of a natural look on you, which he seems proud of.

"It looks so good, Baby," you grin, and immediately post pics of your look, and one of the two of you kissing, with the caption: "Always lookin good when my baby dolls me up 🥰 #loml #dreamman #burninglove."

Austin didn't always love social media, but he knew you did, and he loved when you'd post occasionally about how much you love him.

"This okay?" You ask, showing him before you post. He leans on you and nods, consenting to being included.

"Thanks for asking, Mamas. Love you," he says warmly, and gives you a loving kiss before you head out the door.

The photoshoot set was slightly less chaotic than usual when you arrive, but he still holds your hand tight as you navigate the studio.

"Austin!" His assistant comes over to both of you, and greets you warmly as well. "You brought Memphis Mama," he says, pumping his fist triumphantly.

"Oh? Memphis Mama?" You ask, looking at Austin.

"Your codename at the office," he blushes and you roll your eyes but you can't help but smile.

"There's room for you to be with him in the makeup and wardrobe trailer, lets get you over there," his assistant suggests, clearly wanting to get started. You get Austin situated, holding his things and checking your phone as he gets ready- hair styled, eyes lined slightly, lips glossed. He looks angelic, and if you didn't want to set everyone back a few hours, you'd push him to his knees and ruin him. He sees your appreciative looks and blushes, mouthing "you're prettier" at you in the mirror, which makes you blush and trace the pendant on your chest while he watches, gaze unwavering. He knows he owns you as much as you own him.

His outfit is next. You watch carefully as he gets dressed. In high waisted, wide-legged pants, flashy belt, and a mesh tank top, not to mention the new jewelry adorning his hands and wrists, he looks stunning. He looks at you, and his eyes burn. He wants you to tell him what to do next, but there's people around. He's aroused, but he's also afraid. You walk up to him and take his hands, assuring him.

"I think its time to get you in front of a camera, don't you baby?" You ask; your words signal nothing of his submissive nature to listening ears, but he knows its a command. He instantly relaxes and smiles gratefully.

"Yeah, it is. Thank you," he whispers, and you walk out with him to where the photos will be taken. You hug him close, squeezing his neck a little, and he makes a soft contented noise.

"I love you. Glad you're here," he hums and then its time to go to work. He starts strong; they have him do a few test shots, then do some shirtless photos with a jacket, then they put him back in the mesh. He seems to be thriving, barely looking at you, which is good. To see him happy and relaxed sends you into a wave of peace, and as the adrenaline leaves your body, you become aware that you've neglected to attend to some needs of your own. For one, you need coffee. You're practically falling asleep on your feet, and you wanted to be able to watch Austin closely. That was easy enough to fix; you ask one of the set assistants in a low voice, and he runs off on your behalf. The second thing, more immediate than the first, was that you had to pee. You tell Austin's assistant where you're going as you scurry off.

Austin is feeling great.

The pictures are working for his personal style and sensibility, and the clothes are comfortable but sexy at the same time. When he looks over at you, you're smiling proudly, and his heart soars.

"Okay, Austin, we're going a different direction next. We want quiet desperation. Submission, if you can. Clasp your hands, show off your jewelry," the director of the shoot says. Austin swallows, looking to see your reaction. He couldn't find you. Where are you? He thought, trying not to frown on camera. He wanted you here for this. In the absence of your approval of the shot, he complies. His hands clasp and he tilts his face up, pretending he's looking at you. Apparently that does the trick, and he can't help biting his lip at the praise from the director. He knew Mama would be mad to know that he was biting his lips because of someone else. He'd be in such trouble. If only you could see him.

The thrill is over quickly, however.

The director has him kneel, and unbutton the pants, asking him to play with the belt. While he's on his knees, they start fixing his hair. He's acutely aware that his Mama isn't near now, and its less thrilling. He craves you. He's going to be almost naked if this keeps going, and sure enough, the poses get more and more intimate. Pants open, laying on the ground, legs spread. He tries not to tremble and whine, but his vision is tunneling.

"Okay, Austin, good. Very sexy. We need to see some emotion while your body is in this pose, looking so vulnerable. Let's see it in your face too," you overhear as you come back down the hallway. You'd gotten lost on the way back from the bathroom and are now racing back, especially hearing the directors words. What positions were they putting your baby in? You come back into the room to see him laying back on a piano bench, legs spread, shirt pulled up, and his face looking thoughtful. It was a beautiful, brooding shot, but something is off.

"Almost, Austin. Really get in that vulnerability. Think about your mom, or even Gladys," the director suggests. His assistant gasps and groans, knowing what you're about to do. Austin's eyes fill with tears.

"N..no," he stammers, looking wildly around for you. His eyes find yours and his lips part as his hands come up to reach for you, but you're already running over. Your place is between him and anything that could hurt him, which at the moment is the camera, and the makeup artist incoming to do touch ups.

"DON'T say that to him. Don't touch him," you say firmly, almost yelling. "The shoot is over, you can't say that to him for entertainment. You can't do that to a person, especially not my Austin," you yell, shaking a finger in the directors face. When your rant is done, you turn to face your baby boy. You lean over him, guarding him with your body. Your hands are unconsciously stroking his cheek, and you look into his eyes. There are tears there, and you wipe them away.

"Mama... you left me..." he mumbles. He is not fully present- the sadness, grief, longing, and ice cold feeling of you leaving him have clouded his thoughts and all he can do now is beg for it to end.

"I'm sorry baby, it was an accident, I'm never leaving again," you soothe him and he sits up, reaching for you.

"Why would they mention her?" He asks, face pressed to your chest. You're aware everyone is watching. You don't care.

"I don't know, baby. I'm here now, I promise. I'm gonna take you home," you say softly. You help him stand on shaky legs and look at the director of the shoot.

"You're done," you say firmly, and you lead him, by the hand, to get changed. When in the trailer, you let him hold you while you undress him, and get him redressed in his own clothes. You carefully remove his makeup and jewelry, and you pull one of your pendants from your mother out of your purse where you keep it in case of accessory emergencies. You put your necklace on him, and kiss his chest, biting a little at his skin.

"Mine," you growl, and he sags against you, sighing with relief.

"Mama..." he sighs weakly. "They praised me, I bit my lip, I'm so sorr-" he starts and you kiss away his fears.

"You're my good boy. The best boy. My favorite man on the planet. Don't you worry about a thing," you assure him, but firmly to get your point across. When he's ready, you lead him out and you both get in the car. You put up the divider so the driver can't see you, and you lay him down on your lap. He curls in to you, face pressed against your stomach, clinging to your shirt.

"I'm here," you assure him again, lost in thought as you stroke his hair.

"You weren't," he pouts up at you. Your heart sinks.

"I know, honey... I'm so sorry," you say quietly. "I didnt mean to get lost, I know it doesn't fix it but I didn't mean to leave you."

"I know. I'm sorry," his face crumbles.

"Its okay, baby, that was really upsetting," you soothe him gently.

"They were just pushing my limit. There's a line, you know. Stuff I'll only do for you. And then using my mom... using Gladys," he sighs heavily, and he picks up your hand and places it in his hair again, disliking the loss of contact when you stopped.

"I know honey..." you hum, petting him gently. "Is there anyone you wanna talk to? Someone who makes you feel better about the character bleed stuff? I know filming brought up some old grief," You suggest, completely oblivious to the position he holds for you in his heart.

"Yeah," he frowns. "You."

"Oh... oh." You exhale. "I love you, Baby boy," is all you can say and when you get him home, you take him to bed immediately, undressing him completely except for your mother's necklace, and you help him into the blue shorts you bought him when you discovered how much he truly loved and needed you.

"Mama, you protect me," he smiles. Its a small smile but its a real smile. "You give me so much joy. You're my life. I only need you," he explains. "You hold me without hurting me, you're the first who ever did," he hums, his adoring eyes never leaving you. Your heart melts and you kick off your shoes quickly to get in bed with him, still fully clothed yourself.

"I know, bub," you say quickly, letting him know you never doubted his affection. "But I didn't know your needs until after it was all filmed and done. I wasn't there for the character bleed, the heartache, or the joy. I just wanted to make sure I was the best person for the job," you say softly and he grimaces.

You were there. And you didn't stay.

The weight of this crushes him all over again, and he hides in you, from you, not knowin where else to turn.

"Don't remind me," he whines. "When I dream of that time, you're there. My mind places you on those beach night drives, that hotel stage set, the highs and lows..." he explains, and his hands trace your lips and eyes and chest, cupping your breasts, not for any particular purpose but his comfort. He's lost deep in thought, but then his eyes light up suddenly,

"Mama, will you go somewhere with me? Soon?" He asks and I smile, running my hands through his hair.

"Of course bub... where are we going?"

He leans in and places a biting kiss on the hollow of your throat before looking into your eyes.

"I'm taking you to Graceland."

Thanks for reading!! Let me know if you wanna be on the tag list!

Tagged blogs: @pennyroyalcreep @flwrs4aust

#austin butler #austin butler imagine #austin butler elvis #austin butler fanfiction #you light my morning sky #austin butler fic

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vro0m-but-not-cars · 8 months

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Okay @sweatyflytrap asked for my final opinion on the one piece live action and I have a lot of things to say as always so I'm making a post.

Light, unspecific spoilers, but well.

First of all it's not bad. But also it's not good. I don't feel excited about it, but I didn't have as much of a hard time watching it than I thought. Except the first episode. I spent the first episode messaging all my friends about how ugly it looked.

About the story adaptation :

Some changes they made I understand, because the East Blue Saga is overall pretty rough in terms of rhythm and also kinda unthetered to how the story develops later on. Of course, it's very important and necessary as far as world building and putting the crew together go, but none of the more long term plotlines are there yet, or at least you don't know that they are, and that doesn't really work with live action tv shows or it makes them look like sitcoms. They had to introduce some more middle- long- term stuff to let people see that there are bigger things happening that are worth keeping up with the series. But it feels kinda weird when you've been reading and watching the manga and anime for fucking ever. Spoils some stuff that were big moments in the original story. But again : understandable.

Some other changes I just. Don't. What. Some were weird, some confused me, some were uncalled for and honestly kinda pissed me off (re: Usopp, iykyk).

One thing I was happy about is that there is, just like in the manga, some clever, more or less obvious, foreshadowing. Well played.

About the characters :

I saw a lot of people being very happy about the cast, I... Have doubts. I'm kinda sad some of them lose important character design aspects although I understand it would have been difficult to make them look like they're drawn. Usopp without his long nose is ??? I mean it's inherent to who he is so taking that away takes away from his characterisation for me. Also is Sanji really Sanji without the curly eyebrows? I like Nami, I think she's played by a good actress as well. She's the one who felt the more solid to me. Zoro looks okay, I kinda hate how they turned him into some edgy vocal-fried annoyed teenager but well. Hopefully he'll gain more depth as we go. Hopefully they all do. We've barely seen them yet.

Now Luffy... I mean it's tricky, obviously. I just don't understand his character in the LA tbh because he's supposed to be super naive and carefree and not very smart, and sometimes he is, and at other times he says elaborate things that don't match up. Seeing him more or less seriously plan and strategise at times is intensely OOC and really took me out of it. Also it would always have been difficult to translate in LA but I find his smile very sinister at times. Overall, because he's sometimes smarter than he's supposed to be and because of that smile, you get the idea that he's acting stupider than he actually is and it gives the impression he's more calculated and manipulative than happy-go-lucky. I can't really read him well. He feels weird.

And I sure hope they get a better wig and lenses budget in the future but seeing how the Witcher characters look in their third or whatever season I highly doubt it. Seeing them with shitty synthetic dry AF hair really really takes me out of it. I cannot possibly take Shanks seriously when that's what he looks like. Don't even get me started on Mihawk. Also I've posted about this before but why in hell did they turned tall glass of water future daddy Ben Beckmann into a short jowly pot-bellied 50yo? I'm sad. AND don't try to convice me that Alvida is ugly because what the hell. Please take me on a date, I will definitely tell you you're beautiful. Also not a problem but why the fuck is Garp Welsh?

Another issue I have discussed with friends is Sanji's characterisation. Obvi they couldn't make him as creepy as he is in the manga and anime where he's straight-up harassing women but this very central aspect of his personality is almost completely lost in the LA which makes him seem very weird. It makes it difficult to understand how he acts towards Nami at times, when they're supposed to be one of the most well-matched duos in the crew. In parallel, LA Zoro and Nami have sexual tension for zero reason. Their chemistry works much better than Nami and Sanji's at this point. It's fixable in the next seasons but in this one it's kinda weird when you know their characters.

About the production :

Okay so one thing I will say without any further "but" is that Sanji's and especially Zoro's fighting scenes look very good. They're well choregraphed, and badass, and dynamic.

Luffy's fighting scenes are bad though. The gomu gomu fruit abilities look bad. He barely uses them most of the time (I guess it's costly and difficult to create visually). He looks weak, and slow. The rhythm is terrible. Also it's difficult to see him sometimes use gomu gomu to be rubbery and thus fully flexible and sometimes see the actual actor jump and bend like a more or less normal person, thus lacking the elasticity Luffy is supposed to have. It's like sometimes the rubber ability is activated and sometimes not and he just becomes a normal human being. I fully understand that it's not realistic to half animate him all the time to make it fit but again, it was very noticeable to me.

I also struggle with the overall vibe of the LA. Some things feel overly childish, like all the discourse around dreams etc. It is there in OP though, it is generally key in shōnen, no problem. But at the same time, it's quite violent and sinister at times. Buggy is scary af, he feels incredibly creepy. Which is also fine, the OP world is violent and weird. But it doesn't look that violent and weird when it's drawn. The juxtaposition of the child-like, naive, idealistic themes and the creepiness is a bit confusing to me. I'm trying to think who's the target for this aside from the obvious OP fans. It seems a bit too grotesque for children, and it feels a bit too "✨the power of friendship✨" for teens and adults. But well. It was the case in the manga as well initally and it got darker and more serious with time so whatever, I'll reserve judgement.

Conclusion :

I still don't know what to think because I started with loads of questions and now I just have even more. Mostly about how they intend to adapt the rest of it. Are they gonna buy their wigs and lenses elsewhere than Claire's? What the fuck is Chopper gonna look like? What about Brooks? Are they gonna make Ace and Law ugly as well? Because if so I might burn Netflix's headquarters for ruining them for me. Is Luffy gonna get better at fighting or do they intend for Zoro and Sanji to do most of the work forever? Is Bon Clay gonna be extremely offensive or are they somehow gonna manage to make him tasteful without ruining him? Is he gonna be there at all? I mean I could go on and on.

Anyway, as I was saying it's not bad, but it's not good. I think it works much better for people who haven't seen or read OP yet.

#one piece #one piece live action #opla

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arttrampbelle · 10 months

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I know it's actually the horrible writing of ed boon himself. But it got me thinking......

If the new mk game is supposed to be liu kangs vision of a "perfect world" got me thinking.

What if this is just how liu kang sees everyone?

Goes to show you how fucked up that is. And kinda fucked up how they did my boy.

So unless liu kang is a villain in this. And we get to see him go dark. None of this make sense outside of that.

But that in the same vein is sad.

That liu kang thinks nothing of mileena and tarkatans as nothing more than a "disease"

Puts kitana and rain and edenians on a pedestal.

Put raiden as some chump wannabe follower. Kung lao as lesser 2nd banana but saves face because he's also a fellow shaolin.

Thinks sub n scorp are the same because of course all ninja are the same right? Wtaf liu?!

Is nrs actively trying to sabotage liu kangs character to make themselves feel important?! Wtaf boon.

And erasing the importance and impact that shang tsung and shao kahn had as main antagonists and problems in the lore.

Shang tsung hated being forced to make mileena. Never cared for her outside of a science project. However erasing his play in her creation is dogshit of nrs.

And shao kahn ordered mileena to be created. He basically was her father and creator. She was his heir. That was her point to replace kitana because shao kahn couldn't manipulate kitana and for sindel to have another heir probably the other way.

Shang tsung hated every moment of that but again. To erase that fact is asinine of them.

Mileena didn't have a choice in how she came into this world. But to go about,erase her importance,autonomy,history,and erase shao kahn being her creator. To erase shang tsungs play in this. To erase her whole fucking characters point and purpose.

To be edgy or different. Is an absolutely asinine thing to do.

All to make "kitana" look cool and the nice "baby sister" ,liu kang to look "cool" and more important than he ever needs to be.

To completely ruin a characters purpose in a story just because you can.

It's ridiculous.

I still don't understand how people can still wanna buy this game and call themselves a fan.

Fr. Im not joking.

Like there is many many many many

Things wrong with this mortal kombat game.

Like i could go on but finding out more stuff makes me go.

"I pray,i hope. NRS fucks up so bad. They go bankrupt. They cause people to boycott this game. I pray and hope there is a scandal. Fr"

Like there is too many people dissatisfied to not have something happen.

#mortal kombat #vent

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taangmula · 1 year

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i'm really concerned about whether i'm a bad person or not. lately, with the controversy and confusion around tenacious unicorn ranch, i thought about my own attempt to house a couple of my housing-insecure friends and how badly it blew up in my face. i feel sad about it- i don't think i necessarily did all the perfectly correct things, but neither did i do things worth being publicly excorciated for- certainly not during the time i housed them, and certainly not for at least 3-5 years before them. in the intervening years, we were friends, and i genuinely had no idea that i had made this person uncomfortable.

i know it's triggers and whatnot that are partially my fault for activating, partially not proportionate to the things i did to trigger them. i don't think that placing someone else's hands around one's own throat makes me a predator. a creep, maybe. i was definitely a lonely, horny teen who wanted to flirt in edgy ways and wanted selfishly to feel things. it's the selfishness of the gesture that makes me doubt myself, though. if i'm not always acting purely in the other party's interest, am i worth anything? if i'm not completely setting aside myself, am i as bad as the r*pists that have terrorized and violently traumatized you in the past? i think there are things between yes and no. i want to say yes, but i'm so afraid of the "no".

i feel lost because i worry about whether there's a pattern there. my ex had been previously r*ped as well, and they saw parallels between their r*pist and me. we both told ourselves and each other that this was a journey of healing- sometimes ugly, sometimes painful and difficult, but ultimately a move towards something different, but the fact that that relationship ended in catastrophe makes me wonder. looking at a thing they'd written about me, and about their own ex, i felt afraid. they said that the poems i'd written had compassion fettered by being amab, like their r*pist ex. i triggered them a lot, and consoled them a lot. the first night we slept together, they asked me to touch them, then they asked me to stop. i did. i felt proud that i could take a no, but they still woke up in the middle of the night crying.

it's really fucking hard to look at someone you've triggered and feel like it's not your fault. intention has no bearing on impact, so do we have to take accountability for the impact? the friend i housed had psychotic breaks after being violently r*ped on a date with someone. it's not surprising that they might be hypervigilant and untrusting of me. they saw me with those eyes, probably knowing that i had so much power over them- they and their partner lived in the second room of my 2bed apartment, but i was ultimately the one paying for it. i thought we could get by because it was supposed to be only a year and it was 2v1 in the worst case, but i guess not.

it feels fucked up to acknowledge that i feel an affinity for people who have experienced trauma. i don't seek it out, but i often like people who are sad, thoughtful, perceptive. people who can see each others' pain and care for it rather than turn away. i think that trauma makes people on guard, hypervigilant, ready for the worst. i think i see my own worst a lot, or i edge around it because it is too much to look at directly.

at the end of that essay, my ex wrote that anything you love can be saved. it's hard to look at it now, since the relationship between us was not saved. nor was our friendship. nor even a passing acquaintanceship. it's like that with the people i housed. it feels like this outcome is my fault. when you trigger someone they see a mix of you and things that aren't you. violent abuse, manipulation, suicide, r*pe. those are not accidental projections, but they're there because of a pattern-match between you and a moment where someone attacked them, or something bad happened to them, or a moment where someone made them feel like they couldn't say no.

there's something there, and it feels prickly to try to sort out for myself which parts are and aren't me- if people draw the lines themselves, then everyone gets to be good, and to file away all of their bad parts. people get to keep hurting each other and never think about it, never learn or change. and yet- a trauma response is also an all-or-nothing moment. being triggered definitionally means that things that are not here and now become here and now. that's not your boyfriend that's a violent sadist, or your fucked up dad going to lock you in a room. this is not sex it's every time someone has hurt you condensed into one. this isn't an apartment it's a cage.

i guess i'm still working through all of it. at least theoretically, we can't be responsible for each others' emotions. still, neither can we disregard the fact that we have wounds, and that some of them are very common and very deep. if someone's bleeding, you don't wrestle them in the mud.

when my ex wrote that piece, we were still together, and there was a lot of hope in it. it's still hard to say if my presence in their life made it better (as a bulwark in tough times) or worse (being a bulwark because my presence caused them tough times). i want to say that i both did my best and that my best wasn't good enough. it was hubris to think i could save someone, but practical to do the work of taking them to 5150s, getting therapy appointments, answering desperate calls in the middle of the night, cleaning and bandaging their wrists, feeding them. the last time we talked, it seemed like they weren't having to go for psychiatric holds as often, or hadn't in a while. the other part of my brain points out that this happened once we were apart for a while. maybe it would have been better if we separated sooner. maybe it would have been fatal. i didn't want them to go then, but i don't think i want them back now. all that's left is a grief and a hope that they did actually recover. maybe i could be forgiven if that were the case.

anything we love can be saved. anything we love can be saved. anything we love can be saved.

i pray because i don't know what else to do.

#tw sa #tw rape #textpost

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milo-is-rambling · 1 year

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Don't want to sleep bc when I woke up this morning it was too early so I went back to bed and spent like two hours falling in and out of sleep and in and out of a dream about my dad where he was alive again (weird as fuck to say that cause it still has not actually clicked in my brain that my dad is dead) and he kept trying to do things in the dream like go to sleep or go into a different room and I was like talking him out of it and I kept my eye on him constantly so he couldn't leave and it was like he got away from me and went to bed or something and the second he walked out of the room we were in I woke up and then I just kind of stared at my ceiling feeling bad for like an hour and it fucking sucked and my mom wasn't home when I got up again cause it was like noon and she had a work lunch today and left at 11 so I was home alone with my dog and I had that dream and then felt really truly alone and I realized that my dad dying fucked with my already bad abandonment issues and like I know that he didn't die and leave me on purpose obviously but like he's missing from my life now and he's not gonna be with me through all these future experiences I imagined having him there for like I'm not dating anyone and haven't dated anyone like long term serious recently so he's not gonna be able to ever meet the person I truly fall in love with or like be at my wedding and he's never gonna be able to have a Christmas together with me and my future family or even have grandkids and my dad loves kids and my neighbor (his best friend) has grandkids who knew my dad and like I played with them in the pool and we hung out a lot this last year and there's one kid who has the same name as my dad so they always said little bill and big bill for my dad and his friends grandkid and next time they come to visit we have to tell them something happened to big bill and he's not gonna be around anymore and it just fucking sucks. Death sucks Greif sucks I keep saying y'know "love doesn't go anywhere" "the pain of grief is just all the love you have to give still" "blah blah blah you're supposed to cry" but like I can say it as many times as I want I am still definitely not dealing with this at all. I barely legitimately cry about it like I'll drop like three tears when a specific song comes on Spotify shuffle but I haven't cried hard really and I avoid looking at pictures of him or anything or letting myself have any emotion about it and I think it's bc of this big huge shame monster I have in my chest that I call my heart but it truly does not let me experience emotions around other people like god damn I didn't realize how bad it was like I thought I had more control over it and I was just being edgy or whatever but I legitimately cannot handle crying in front of another person even my mom who I am the closest with out of anyone in my life like it's just me and my mom and millie and that's my whole fucking world and even with them I just can't let myself cry or feel actual emotion and the second I start crying I immediately lose all sadness I had cause my body just turns it off like someone fucking turned off a faucet like I cry a little bit completely alone when im driving and I can't really fully let it out cause I need to focus on driving that's the only way I can cry anymore cause even completely alone I am judging myself from my head and won't let myself cry and I keep trying and trying and I just do not know how to let myself cry and I feel like I have this giant inflatable swimming pool filling with so much water that it actually rips the plastic and explodes that's what I feel behind my eyes and nose at all times it's one big emotion blob right there and I can't fucking let it explode no matter how hard I try and I've been fucking trying. I rewatched all my crying shit and haven't been able to get an actual breakdown started at all it's pissing me off I want to just feel my feelings so I can work thru them but also every time I cry I feel so much shame like how do u fix that so I can cry really hard for like two months straight

#god I wrote a lot sorry fuck I'm high I packed a bowl with weed and an little bit of nicotine and I'm like light headed but high but also so #tired and dry mouth like crazy god damn where is my water #mmmm mouth taste like cigarettes <3 #truly one of the best mouth tastes #I'm gonna try to sleep now or maybe cry a little but also I really don't wanna have another dad related dream caus I want to go back to #pretending he didn't exist so I can function as a person and leave the house but in order to do that I can't cry and let out a good cry #it's very hard to do both but I can't just fall apart forever but not letting myself fall apart means I can't cry when I want to #ughhhhh

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knickynoo · 2 years

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I saw a edgy BTTF theory where Lone Pine Doc sent Lone Pines Marty to the big crunch/ end of the universe instead of to the same period of Twin Pines Marty went to so a) he couldn't fuck with the past b) there wouldn't be 2 Marty's running around c) the Marty he knew in the past would have a place to slide right in when he got back to the present.

I don't like it but it has never left my head because I have allways wanted to know what Lone Pines Marty did! No way he did the same thing Twin Pines Marty did because he didn't have the same info about his family that Twin Pines Marty had.

I've seen that same theory float around for years now, and I don't like it either. The whole, "well Doc had to do something to get rid of Lone Pine Marty, so he probably sent him suuuupperr far into the future or rigged the DeLorean to kill him" take is one that really does not sit well with me. For obvious reasons.

I think the general consensus in the fandom is that the whole thing is a casual loop. As in, Our Marty sets off all the time travel shenanigans, has his 1955 adventure, then returns to the mall where he watches his other self travel back to 1955--where Lone Pine Marty will proceed to have the exact same adventure. And it just sort of keeps looping like that? Which I guess does make sense considering Marty returns to '55 in part II and sees his other self in the car with Lorraine at the dance. And that would be Lone Pine Marty, would it not? But like...there's also only technically 1 Marty. Meaning Lone Pine Marty isn't displaced or sent to some other timeline or something...he's just. Marty. Our Marty may not have the memories of the updated timeline, but the agreement seems to be that he is in fact the same guy. Somehow. Idk, it confuses me too, but the alternative is a reality in which Lone Pine Marty is lost somewhere in time or murdered, so....

(Also I think the BTTF comic that addresses this concept even lands on a similar conclusion? That Twin Pines Marty didn't "get rid of" or "replace" the real one. There only ever was one Marty no matter the timeline or his memories.)

It's funny, because that comic contains an introduction by Bob Gale, where he mentions filming that second parking lot scene and how this same question came up. I don't have the comic in front of me right now, but it was something along the lines of: they were filming the scene where Marty watches his past self get into the DeLorean and drive away, and someone on the set asked where that Marty was going/if he was even the same Marty. And I think Gale's response was basically, Hmm, no clue. Because every answer he came up with spiraled into paradoxes and further complicated things.

I'm personally torn on the issue because on the one hand: Lone Pine Marty was raised under completely different circumstances. He should absolutely be distinct from the Marty we follow, because environment plays a big role in shaping a person. He's got a more stable, tighter knit family. He's had a wider range of opportunities given to him due to his family having more money. He's been nurtured and supported and loved in a way that Twin Pines Marty wasn't. Pretty sure that would impact his decisions in 1955 once he's sent back there.

BUT! On the other hand: The two Martys theory makes me sad. I don't want there to be a Marty somewhere out there, lost and alone and having been replaced by our Marty. So I'll continue on with the "there is only one Marty" theory. Plus, I mean, it's pretty telling that Marty's rooms in both timelines are completely the same, despite the rest of the house having changed. Everything, down to the placement of his guitar and candy bars on the nightstand and photos on the wall is in the same place. I think the only thing that changes are the curtain colors. Which tells me that Marty is simply Marty...making the same choices and having the same personality no matter where he grew up. Which is comforting, I suppose.

It's fun to speculate and come up with theories about these things since there's so much room to play with. Thanks for the ask!

#asks #back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #in my fics i stick with the singular marty theory #otherwise ''Harborage'' would've been a whole lot darker lol #also i did not expect to write this much

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rose-colored-amy · 3 years

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So, this is a continuation to my extremely short one-shot Last Moments, Last Regrets, but it can be read as a stand-alone. Regardless, I'll leave the link of that one in here:

Also, thanks to @coeurhh for suggesting I write a second part. You're a sweetheart 🥰

She made a lovely fanart/gif, which I'm also sharing, of course:

Prompt: AU. Sakura's death goes unnoticed to everyone but the squad she protected with her life and Tsunade. Team Kakashi doesn't find out until the very end, when Naruto and Sasuke have already had their fight, and there's nothing to do about it but mourn the absence.

Warning: Mild Sasusaku and lots of angst. Team 7 sort-of-fluff (?)

—Blue Bird, Let Go—

"Hey, bastard... I know they really let us down, the village, I mean."

"Aa... "

"But I really think it's not all that bad. When we were I team, I knew you understood. It felt like having a brother, believe it."

They were watching their lives go by, shadows of unknown faces passing by them, not noticing their pain, or not caring whatsoever. Their backs were touching, but it was all cold and bleak; a bad memory. A clan slaughtered, a demon sealed. Two lonely boys wallowing in their own sadness.

"Well, even if I don't make it, I'm glad it was you, bastard—"

"Shut up, idiot." His voice sounded strained, even for his standards, but Sasuke was so tired he couldn't even bring himself to care.

"We're really dying, ah? Wanna say something? I do have things to say, 'cause there's no way I'm dying—"

"In silence?" Sasuke interrupted, but Naruto payed him no mind.

"Without telling you how much of an asshole you've been! I couldn't even keep my promise to Sakura-chan! She's gonna be so damn mad when she finds out, I'm sure she'll drag me back to life just to cave my face in—" He was rambling at that point, but it was just so comforting and normal to Sasuke that he didn't even acknowledge it anymore.

"Hn. Sakura... She..."

"She still loves you, asshole. I don't have any idea how it can be possible but—"

"I'm sorry..." It sounded rushed, but Naruto heard it perfectly, and in the darkness of their shared consciousness, Sasuke heard a resigned sigh.

"Well, it's not that bad. I cannot imagine dying beside anyone but you, bastard."

"Idiot..." He made a pause. "Me neither."

"You're both a pair of idiots!"

Suddenly, the unreadable mass of unrecognizable faces around them cleared, and one figure stood in front of them, pink eyebrows frowned in annoyance. Though this version of Sakura looked familiar, it was one none of the boys had seen in a long time. Genin, long-haired, Sakura was glaring at them, arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing in here?!"

Her eyes softened. "What, so I'm supposed to let you two die, after everything? No way in hell!"

"Sakura..."

"You!" She pointed at Sasuke, who flinched slightly at her rudeness. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I don't care. Lighten up and start being your moody self. We love you just like that! Don't act so repented and shit! If you're sorry stop looking like a lost puppy and start doing something about it, you asshole!" Her voice was raising with madness and it was slightly off putting to see what used to be a stuttering lovestruck preteen talking to him like that.

Naruto snorted at that, obviously delighted for not being at the receiving end of her wrath for once. It was short-lived, however.

"And you!" She pointed at the blonde; then crossed her arms. He jumped back in fright. "What is this? How dare you even consider dying after you promised to be the best goddamned Hokage in history?! Here I am, rooting for you, while you lay around like a lazy pig with your edgy bro there. You should be ashamed of yourself!" She scoffed.

Naruto's mouth was so wide open he could have caught a fly. "Lazy pig? Are you kidding?!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, half amused, half annoyed. "Edgy?"

Suddenly, the edges of their vision began to blurr, like a genjutsu being unravelled. "Ah, someone came to help you at last." Sakura seemed relieved. Strangely so.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You know what? You're right. I'll be the best damn Hokage ever, believe it! Just you watch!" He threw a punch to the air.

Seemingly placated and pleased with his answer, she nodded. "I know so." Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was concentrating solely on her face, mismatched eyes softened as they'll ever be. "And you'll make sure he doesn't mess up, right?"

They shared a long silence. There was something strange about Sakura aside her appearance. He could tell. "Hn. I will..."

"Hey! I don't need him watching over—"

"Sure you don't." He countered sarcastically.

"Also..." They turned to her again. "I'm sorry."

"Wha—" Naruto stuttered. "What the hell would you be sorry for, Sakura-chan?! If anything, it's the bastard here who should be apologizing to you!"

"Sakura..." Sasuke seemed to be searching for the right words, but she couldn't let them go without them listening to her. To what she needed them to know. There wasn't much time left after all.

"I'm sorry, because I wasn't what you needed..." She closed her eyes, her pretty minty orbs. Her appearance suddenly shifted, before then now standing her true self, still dressed in the standard shinobi uniform of the alliance. Her forehead protector lost to whoever knows where. "And thank you. You both made me stronger. You made me appreciate what I had. And I'll always, always love you. Our moments together like team seven... I'll treasure them for all eternity."

"Sakura-chan..."

"I know Konoha wasn't the best to you both, but don't forget the good... The wholesome moments. It's all that matters in the end... Our bonds, the bonds you managed to forge with sweat and blood... The world we live in, the world that gave me the chance to meet you. To me, that's to be cherished. Forever."

The white light started overwhelming the rest. Even Sakura's features started dissapearing.

"Live. Just live." For that, she specifically stared at Sasuke, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And thank you."

Sasuke started racing towards her, hand stretched, a forebonding understanding shaking his bones. "Sakura!"

And then, they both lost consciousness.

When they woke up, aside from feeling like shit, the first thing that crossed their minds what the finality of Sakura's words. Tsunade was beside them, patching them up, with Kakashi beside her, silently watching over them.

"About time, brats! What were you think—"

"Baa-san." Naruto interrupted her, his voice the most serious she had heard him until then.

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke finished for him, his eyes icy and detached, trying to keep his worry at bay.

But she didn't need to answer. Her chakra flow hesitated, spiking with sorrow. Her eyes glistening with unbearable loss. Kakashi, at her side, stared, eyes widened in comprehension.

She was gone by a long shot.

And they were just finding out.

...

Everybody had different ways of dealing with loss. Naruto helped rebuild the village along with everyone else, but he skipped his usual meals, his ramen left forgotten in his kitchen counter. His movements when sparring were sloppy at best, not just because of the new prosthetic limb, but also because his mind was clearly somewhere else. Usually, Shikamaru would drag him out his makeship house, like he had done when Jiraija was gone for good. Sometimes, he would bring Ino with him, who was suspiciously skinny and messier than normal. No makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes.

Kakashi spent more than usual at the memorial stone every day, tracing the newly marked name of the girl who once remained him of Rin but that had come to claim a place for herself in his heart. Also, he took more missions than it was allowed in a month, going so far as to pick up his ANBU mask again, which caused an altercation with Tsunade, who hadn't been sober in a long time and had been hoping to hand the Hokage seat to him.

Sai avoided the color pink for a long time.

Sasuke... Well, he dealed with loss the same as everyone else... Longing for the missing person to be there, itching to have the opportunity to say what he couldn't at the time. Wanting to be alone whenever they would reach for him... And he built a tomb for her in hopes to find some closure. Not that official, because there wasn't a body to bury, and it had no name, but it was enough for him. He would bring with him camellias every day, buying them at the Yamanaka's, where Ino would always glance at him in silent understanding.

One morning, on his way to her tomb, he spotted a young shinobi leaving a white lilly for her. When he came by, the child spoke without a care, like they were acquaintances. "This is Sakura-san's, right?"

"Hn." It wasn't really an answer, but the child seemed to understand anyway.

"You know? Mama and big sister are also buried in these grounds... I always talk to them and tell them about my day and stuff I want them to know!" He turned to the Uchiha, a smirk on his cherubic face. "I'm sure she would appreciate it as well." And just like that, he left without another word.

Sasuke sat on the ground, just in front of the stone, mismatched eyes half lidded. Sensing no one in the vicinity, he exaled a shaky breath, and his dam opened up, the words longing to be said broke the silence he had been wrapping around himself since he knew of her death:

"I miss you... I've been missing you since I first left."

#naruto #sasusaku #team 7 #naruto uzumaki #kakashi hatake #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #tsunade senju #post war #fanfiction #sai #ino yamanaka #angst

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sevilemar · 2 years

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Hi! I'm curious, how was your process to figure out your own sorting? And do you have any tips?

My friend @wyrdnis told me about shc one summer morning at breakfast, I went home and googled it, found Inky and Kat's wordpress blog, read the descriptions and took the test. I can't remember what it gave me for primary, I think it was badger with the option of lion, and since I didn't really feel like a badger, I concluded I had to be a lion primary.

Secondary, I was a hatstall first, then a snake. I re-read the description again and concluded reluctantly that alright, I might at least try and take snake sec for a spin. So by that point, I was a lion/snake, and mighty pleased about it, because my friend was also a lion primary and they said that lion/snakes are cool.

By this point, I was hooked into the system, and I began to explore, starting with Inky and Kat's sorting podcasts. In the one about The Hunger Games, they said something that shot straight to the core of who I am:

When a Slytherin Burns, they think it’s too hard to care about people. They think that no matter what they do, people will leave them or hurt them or they will hurt their people. But there’s something impossible about that being what drives their morality. So they leave. They burn it. They back off from those personal connections and they do something else but they always feel like they want it. They’re sad it’s not there. They’re frustrated it’s not there.

That was me at the time, that was the essence of who I was. And when I went back to the original description of Slytherin primary, it all clicked into place. I think I didn't let myself be "Slytherin" because in my mind, Slytherins were the cool kids, edgy and real in a way naive Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs were not. 15 years of Harry Potter fandom don't just evaporate in a day, you know?^^

And there I was, a double snake with burned primary, supposedly one of the cool kids but very much not feeling it. So I set out to get my fangs into this system even more. I restarted my old tumblr account, and discovered the shc community. I started to write posts about shc, mostly to come to terms with my sorting and what it meant for me.

I couldn't wrap my head around models, and how they are supposed to work. So I did what a lot of us do, I wrote to @wisteria-lodge to help me find out my secondary models, if I had any. This is how I discovered my bird secondary model and a reluctant badger performance I have mostly dismantled since then. I thought I had a bird primary model for a while, but looking closer, it was my snake building a practical system for all the times when it wasn't about my people. And I know there is something of a badger lurking in my primary somewhere, but I am in denial about it and also trying to dismantle it as best I can because it's not good for me.

So you see, even now, as I have gained a little bit of recognition in the community and I'm writing mostly about snakey stuff, I'm still not at the end of my shc journey. Because lately, I have been questioning my snake sec a lot, suspecting my bird model is stronger than I thought. Maybe I'll come out as a snake/bird with snake secondary model in the future, who knows?

Though it would be weird because I feel I have a certain freedom as a double snake that I wouldn't allow myself as a snake/bird. And that's probably the weirdest realisation of all, how receptive I am to what a made-up system tells me are my strengths and weaknesses.

If you are still at the start of your shc journey, nonny, then taking the test and reading the in-depth descriptions on Inky and Kat's blog is a good way to get a feel for the possibilities. Journaling is also a good method, and asking other people to describe you. Maybe do as I did and read or listen to some of the sortings. And if you can't decide between two options, try them both on for size and see what happens. There is no shame in saying you're a lion/snake for a bit, and then finding out that snake/bird might fit you better. Happens to the best of us 😉

Sorting Hat Chats is a fun and shiny tool, and it helped me put a name to some things that I have been trying to put my finger on for a while. But ultimately it's just that: a tool. And no tool is worth loosing too much sleep over, at least in my opinion.

Edit: I knew @reds-burrow had talked about how to figure out your sorting, and I found the posts: primary and secondary

#sortinghatchats #my shc journey #ask answers

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wehatejulietsimms · 3 years

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Hey everyone, TED Talk anon here! I thought it would be cool to just listen to ‘Created From Filth and Dust’ and give my honest opinion on each song since this is a blog about Juliet. I tried really hard to not put any ‘disliking Juliet’ bias in here and to just give my honest, unfiltered opinion about each song (and I’m not going to include the three covers since those weren’t written by her or ‘Bad Love’ or ‘100 Little Deaths’ since those are older songs, not really a part of CFFAD). So here’s my review of ‘Created From Filth and Dust’-

Intro Poem- Not gonna lie, it was pretty cool. Song really a song per se, but a good way to start a new album. Just wish the rest of the album actually lived up to what Juliet was hyping it up to be, though the ‘lyrics’ to this poem made pretty much no sense. It was like Juliet was trying to build up Lilith Czar’s ‘aesthetic’ and tried so hard to be poetic that she forgot to add meaning to the poem. The scream at the end was unexpected and a nice touch, though it was kind of obvious Juliet doesn’t know much about metal screams. It sounded really rough and forced and most likely hurt her vocal chords. She should probably learn how to make screamo before making screamo, or else it’s just going to hurt her voice and it’s not going to come out as good as she wanted.

Feed My Chaos- Catchy chorus, but not memorable. The verses are decent with a pretty basic melody, I liked the guitar in the choruses and the bridge, and the lyrics were actually good, but Juliet’s vocals kind of ruined what could’ve been an otherwise great song. She- as I stated before- tried too hard to get the ‘raspy rocker’ voice that she just doesn’t have and it came out scratchy and hoarse, and it kind of destroyed one of the only good songs off this album (and the only one that could actually qualify as ‘rock’).

King- The melody of the verses broke my ears. I’m sorry, but it was just flat-out bad. It sounded like something from a cliché teen movie. Instruments were kind of bland, nothing really catchy. As for the lyrics, I’ve already discussed this before, but they are honestly the opposite of feministic. With the lines ‘Who's to say a woman can't think with her dick?’, ‘Don’t test the switchblade in between my legs’, and ‘If it’s a man’s world, I wanna be king’ plus the actual song title ‘King’ make it sound like she’s saying that men- or at least masculinity- are stronger and better than women, like you have to be masculine to be tough. As for the line ‘If it’s a man’s world wearing the crown’, god I hate that line. It’s basically like she’s saying she’s giving up on ‘feminism’ and ‘women empowerment’ and instead saying ‘It’s a man’s world, we can’t change that, guess I got to act like a man to earn my place now’ instead of actually promoting female empowerment and gender equality. Overall, I hate this song. It’s toxic masculinity, internalized misogyny, and promoting sexist masculinity in women dressed as a femme fatale, and it’s not very appealing to the ears, as well.

Anarchy- Pretty catchy, not gonna lie. The lyrics are good, the drums are catchy, but I can’t really hear the guitar or bass. The only problem I have with this song is that the melody of the chorus and verses are the exact same, like Juliet got lazy and decided to use the same one. It’s not rare in the music industry, per se, but it typically shows that the artist just wanted to get the song over and done with. Other than that, the song was actually pretty good, Juliet’s vocals weren’t as bad as the others, and it was quite memorable. She should’ve stuck with writing songs like this, cause the direction she went in after this one was just awful. Probably the best song off this album but the 'If you fight me you're fighting a whole army' line makes me laugh. Fighting which army, yours or Andy's?

Lola- Kind of boring, not really notable, special, or catchy. Her vocals were decent, the chorus was okay, and the lyrics actually had some sort of meaning, but I’m really indifferent with this song to be honest. Not the best, but not the worst.

In My Head- Meh. The intro guitar was catchy, but the whole time she was more speaking than talking, so it wasn’t really all that entertaining. Also sounds like something from a cliché drama movie, and the lyrics were so confusing. I couldn't tell if she was horny or depressed. It was like she was trying to mix the two and it just wasn’t working. Also it sounded like she was trying to be all ‘edgy’ but that honestly just ended up sounding like she was glorifying mental illness or something, like she’s commending herself for having a ‘fucked-up mind’ or whatever and acting like being messed up in the head makes you a badass.

Unholy- Sounds like it would be in the sex scene of a bad country movie. I don’t really have an opinion on this song. The lyrics are raunchy and personally not for me, her vocals aren’t terrible, the melody isn’t really good, and the instruments are pretty generic. Nothing horrible but nothing special about this song. It has nothing to do with this ‘Lilith Czar’ character Juliet has made (and honestly, neither do most of the songs).

Diamonds to Dust- Kind of boring to be honest. I know it’s supposed to be a sad, slow song but it wasn’t remarkable or artistic in any way, and it low-key sounds recycled from ‘End Of The World’. A pretty crummy way to end an album in my opinion, like a failed ‘Save Rock and Roll’ situation. The lyrics actually made somewhat sense and Juliet’s vocals were pretty good (definitely not to her best potential, but good), but the emotion wasn’t there. Juliet tried to make a sad, touching, and emotive ending to her album but her voice just wasn’t in it. She didn’t show any emotion whatsoever, like she was just reading the lyrics off a page. It overall wasn’t that great of a song.

Overall, I’d say this album was a huge flop. Most of the songs I forgot the melody to right after listening to it, some I straight-up disliked, and the few that were actually good were ruined by one factor or another. The album didn’t have any significant meaning and none of the songs had any deep, important messages to send, or they sent the completely wrong ones. Most of the instruments were kind of generic with a few quality exceptions but Juliet tried so hard to sound like a badass, raspy rocker chic that she forgot to sound good. Also the Lilith Czar thing sort of bugs me. She built and hyped up this character so much but never actually used her, and she didn’t create Lilith just as a stage name like ‘Andy Black’, but as an alter-ego and forgot to so much as mention her after ‘Intro Poem’ or use her supposed symbolism as a feministic female patron (correctly, that is). She changed up the genre every single song, two of the songs aren’t even hers, two of the songs were some of her old ones, and another is just a poem and not even a song. That’s only seven songs with seven original lyrics, seven original melodies, and seven original instrumentals, and even then a lot of them sounded recycled from her old songs or they sounded generic and dull, and Juliet acts like it’s rock and metal but in reality it’s more pop with a few rock influences here and there. All in all some of the worst music Juliet has ever made and I would never recommend this to anyone. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk ✌🏽

oh my gosh i love that you did this. i was actually going to do posts for each of her EPs (both Juliet & Lilith's) giving my opinion on each song. i was just waiting until i had a day off work (bc my weekend is actually thursday and friday lol) but maybe i'll do it when i leave today!

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