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sugar-quilled · 3 years

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ron weasley x reader

request

a/n: i slipped from the topic a little bit, pretty sure what i wrote isn't teasing, and if you'd like me to change it just tell me :)

summary: While visiting Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, Ron's clothes get sucked into a machine. All of them, except for his boxers.

genre: comedy and (im not sure if this counts as fluff but) fluff

word count: 1.6k

pronouns: not used

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Diagon Alley was packed, as it always was at the start of a term. Underneath a beautifully clear sky, students were seen hurrying to purchase potion ingredients and new robes. Those that had already purchased the items on their Hogwarts list were seen crowding around a new and extremely flashy building.

The store front was painted in a shocking orange color, with a large figure standing inside a window and tipping his top hat to the surrounding crowd below. In neat, gold printing, the store was identified to be none other than Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

You entered through the door amongst other eager shoppers, and immediately heard a circus-like music, coupled with the chatter of about 50 people.

Shelves on shelves of brightly colored goods and at least 4 oddly built staircases met your eyes. Immediately to your left was a brightly colored display of candy. Your walked closer, and Fred and George Weasley popped out from a counter nearby.

"Taking a look at those nosebleed nougats are you, Y/N?"

"We've got samples over here if you like-"

"Just eat the red and you'll see the red!"

"And one bite of the other side will stop it just like that."

"And fever fudge!"

"There's only a bit of those puking pastilles left, clearly we're due for a restock, Fred."

"Well, Y/N, welcome to our shop and go enjoy yourself! Call us if you need any help and we'll be right by your side in a jiffy. Now come on, George, one kid over there looks mightily suspicious."

You smiled after the twins' backs, not even angry that they hadn't let you get a word in, when you spotted Ron Weasley taking a look at Headless Hats—now on sale for 1 galleon and 8 sickles! Your previous conversation (could you even call it a conversation?) with the twins immediately left your brain and you made your way over.

Ron had been a long time crush of yours. In fact, the two year anniversary of your feelings was yesterday, and you celebrated by having a whole-hearted sobbing fest while your friends stared awkwardly at each other and tried to console you. Not that your friendship wasn't something to be happy about, but Merlin you just wished you could hold his hand. Romantically. You didn't think Ron could ever like you, what with his being best friends with Hermione Granger who was both insanely smart and jaw-droppingly gorgeous.

"Ron! It's nice to see you!"

He immediately swung around and burst into a very toothy grin. "Y/N! It's nice to see you too! What's up?"

You smiled back. "Nothing much! Your brothers' shop is gorgeous! The, uhh, those nosebleed nougats are really fascinating. And you? How was your summer?"

Ron put a headless hat down and strode closer to you to check out a row of punching telescopes. "Quite uneventful, to be honest. But yeah this stuff they came up with? Have you seen the smart-answer quills? Blimey I'd never have to ask Hermione for help again! And those fainting fancies. Reckon Snape'll believe one of those?"

You laughed. "Are you planning to faint during a lecture? It's our N.E.W.T year, you'll need all the information you can get."

Just then, Fred and George appeared right behind you.

"Having a good conversation, Ron?" Fred said cheerfully, elbowing Ron in the ribs—"Ow, Fred leave us alone!"—"Do you two want to check out the back?"

"Just don't steal anything, Y/N," George winked.

"Unless that something is Ron's heart," Fred muttered. Or you thought he muttered. But the twins' expressions had been wiped blank so that you couldn't tell whether Fred had really said it, and Ron had busied himself in untangling two extendable ears, so whether he had blushed or hadn't, you also couldn't tell.

"Lead the way, George!" Fred chortled, and swept away.

"Alright then. Right this way, you two!"

George led you and Ron, whose mouth seemed to be clamped shut, weaving past shelves higher than you to a door at the very back of the store. A small plaque on the door said: "Weasleys Working: In Progress." He twisted open the door, and beckoned both of you in. Right in front of you was a huge lab and packaging station. You could see potions brewing to your right, and to your left, there were two witches packaging a box of puking pastilles.

"So," George started, "welcome to our work station! Y/N, you might have seen a big gray thing over there upon entrance." He pointed. You looked. "That is actually something we've just installed in and its a bit of muggle machinery. Michelle and Rosalyn over there," he nodded towards the two witches, "used to have to do all the wand work manually but this big old thing makes some parts automatic. Quite useful!"

You stared at the big metal machine. There was a sort of chute at one end, and a big pipe leading up and into the ceiling.

"Well, I'll leave you two to it, and Michelle and Rosalyn," he called, "would you mind helping me out in the main area? Fred's left to check on the upstairs, and there's too many people waiting in line for purchasing." George gave Ron a ginormous wink, and left the room. The door swung back and clicked to a close.

You walked over to the muggle machine, very aware of Ron trailing behind you.

"Blimey, that thing's big. What does it even do?"

"I don't know, it looks like something that deposits goods into this bin under it. I'm not really sure where the goods come from though."

Ron circled the massive thing twice, and the second time, he tripped over a wire. Thankfully, he managed to stand himself upright with one hand leaning on the machine.

You laughed at him, and he looked embarrassedly back with a forced chuckle.

Then there was a loud whirring noise, and as Ron turned around in fright, the thing began sucking.

You were wrong. It didn't deposit things. It took them to be deposited.

With a frantic yell and many grabs at a nearby table, Ron's clothes ripped off. The machine sent them rattling through the chute and the whirring noise came to a stop.

Well. Not all of his clothes.

Ron was left standing in a pair of heart adorned boxers. Red hearts.

He tried his best to cover himself, but seeing as he only had two hands and more than two things on display, it was quite difficult.

You realized that you were staring and quickly looked away.

Ron was carefully looking at anywhere but your face.

After quite a long time's silence, your croaked out, "nice boxers, uh... dude," while looking at the ceiling. A giggle escaped despite your attempts at keeping it in, and you were sure Ron's face now matched the color of his hair.

"If you tell this to Gred- I mean, Fred or Gor- George, I'll-" he started shakily, "I'll die."

Seeing as he wasn't threatening you and assuming this meant friendly conversation could be engaged, you stammered, "they really suit you. You know, the red and all. Although I'd suggest a green pair next time. Because of the color wheel and those two are compl-"

Ron had burst into shaky, suppressed laughter.

"Never- never mind my fashion choices, how the bloody hell am I supposed to get my clothes back?"

"Well I don't see why you want them back. I mean think of the ladies you'd get by walking down the street with this lovely attire. Maybe for accessories you can add a bit more red by eating a nosebleed nougat, I'm sure I saw a few when I entered."

Both of you were laughing now, but a yell of shock from upstairs made both of you jolt.

"Oh no, no, no," Ron muttered, darting his eyes around as if trying to find a hiding spot, "Fred's upstairs, he knows what I was wearing, oh no, no-"

The door swung open. Fred was standing in the doorway looking highly amused.

"Ron, I thought you said you'd never wear those! Aunty Muriel will be pleased her present wasn't a waste of money!" Fred exclaimed, striding into the room and circling Ron, who was shaking fiercely. "They do compliment your hair, maybe I'll have to borrow the pair one day."

You choked back a laugh, bursting a vein for sure, when Fred rounded on you.

"I didn't know you two were already on this level of your relationship. Looks like Ron here neglected to tell me some bits!" Fred said cheerfully, waving his wand so that Ron looked perfectly normal again, except that his entire face was now the same color as the hearts on the boxers underneath the normality.

"Well I daresay you two have looked around, I was up there nearly 10 minutes," Fred continued, gesturing towards the door, "and Y/N, regrettably we have no products that erase recent memories-"

"Shut up," Ron muttered, walking towards the door.

"-but the idea is certainly a brilliant one and I'll be sure to start developing it." Fred gave a hearty wink as both Ron and you had exited the room, and closed the door.

You looked at Ron. He looked back.

"Well you know I never said I wanted to erase that memory. You did look quite marvelous."

Ron laughed, though his face still looked like he supported the UK Quidditch team.

"You should really take my suggestion of that green pair, and I wouldn't mind seeing how that looks either."

Both of you doubled over in laughter.

"And," you choked, "a pair of shoes to match wouldn't hurt either, though I daresay you'd rather go barefoot? Shoes shouldn't be worn to bed, after all."

There were definitely tears coming out your eyes now, and the two of you stumbled drunkily, still shaking with laughter, out the shop and down the ever so full streets of Diagon Alley.

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zeroconnectionn · 5 years

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been writing braime au drabbles on my priv acct for fun but i cant finish any of them so..... to those looking for ideas, here are some au’s that i can’t get off my mind and would love to see more of in ao3/tumblr (under the cut bc it’s so long im so sorry):

crimson peak - i mean c’mon... it’s perfect guys.....i have no idea who would play dr. alan though. maybe the hound??? but like platonic

real steel - lisTEN i couldnt stop thinking about this all day... selwyn is jaime’s former boxing coach... which makes brienne his old-and-soon-to-be-rekindled flame that practiced w him back in the day... cersei + robert are dead and there’s a custody battle over lil tommen.... jaime, his “nephew” tommen, and brienne teach Oath, the sparring robot some killer boxing moves and fight their way to robo championship, becoming a family

pacific rim - i found only one on ao3!! braime would totally be drift compatible and the best part is that cersei doesnt have to be evil here. in my drabble, jaime loses cersei and his right hand to a category 5 kaiju attack. cue angst. he retires as a pilot but decides to stay at the base to train cadets (the real reason he cant pilot anymore is because he keeps chasing after cersei in the drift, clinging onto her memory desperately ohoho). brienne is one of the cadets he trains but jaime cant stand her naivete and b/w outlook on the world (deep down tho, its because he once held the same ideals as she did that resulted in cersei’s death. he sees her as a liability to her future co-pilot) so he picks on her a lot. brienne, sick of his shit, boldly challenges him to a duel, setting the terms that if she wins, jaime has to stop picking on her but if he wins, she has to quit the jaeger programme. to NO ONE’S SURPRISE, the duels ends w a tie! i named their jaeger Ursa Maiden because... you know...

battle: los angeles - is there enough military fics?? lance corporal tarth kicking alien ass and saving staff sergeant lannister gives me strength

harry potter - WE COULD DO SO MANY THINGS WITH THIS... brienne the halfblood hufflepuff prefect and jaime the pureblood gryffindor troublemaker. rival quidditch captains? best duelers of their respective years? eventual auror partners? all three, because destiny has fated them to be together always? also consider: jaime was said to have murdered the then minister of magic but was not sentenced to azkaban thanks to tywin pulling a few strings. and honourable, hardworking brienne, the first hufflepuff and woman to get an Outstanding in DADA for NEWTS, the first person to best jaime aka the lion of gryffindor in a duel, and the one lucky enough to be mentored by auror!Renly. also i think we can all agree jaime would say “wait til my father hears about this” to get out of trouble

the walking dead - dudes i have not been able to stop thinking about this au too, like jaime and brienne from opposing communities, meeting each other during a supply run and fighting over a jackpot supply of Useful Things but when they’re just about to kill each other over it- SURPRISE! a convenient horde appears! they become temporary allies to survive, somehow saving each others’ asses along the way, jaime getting bit on his hand trying to save her and brienne repaying the favour by chopping off his hand to stop the infection, they spend a week in an abandoned cabin in the woods to recuperate, jaime bathing in the river with her where he explains why he had to kill the twd!aerys + possible romance, confusion w where they stand w each other and whether or not they can continue this fragile alliance if they go back home, jaime selfishly telling her they could just stay here in the cabin, start a new life together and never go back to their respective communities, brienne saying she can’t bc there are people to protect back home (from his people) so she leaves, jaime leaves too because cersei’s back home but he’s worried that the next time he meets brienne, it’ll be as enemies.... do y’alls feel this

superheroes - jaime is the perfect charismatic speedster?? and brienne w super strength??? if u guys play ttrpgs, jaime would be The Legacy or The Reformed and brienne the Transformed in Masks

kingsman - brienne is lancelot and tyrion is merlin AMIRITE

dragon age - (da:o timeline) brienne, a templar from lothering saves jaime, one of the commanders of king cailan’s army and survivor of the Battle of Ostagar who was captured by howe’s men and labelled a traitor (he’d be in one of the cages like Sten!). eventually they get conscripted into the grey wardens by the Warden, becoming the Warden’s travelling companions. would be cute if the Warden wanted to save time and send them off on a treaty mission together. also how perfect would it be if the couslands were the starks... rendon howe could be littlefinger too...

mass effect - i friggin loved me3 multiplayer so i can totally see brienne as a n7 destroyer and jaime as a n7 slayer. the two of them would’ve made such a good team that they were considered instrumental to the reaper’s defeat on earth. also they totally survive the war and settle down in the citadel and adopt a bunch of alien + human orphans. maybe before the war, they were spectres who butt heads a lot bc of diff mission interests.

the proposal - I NEED TO KNOW, HAS ANYONE DONE THIS YET??? bc if there is, i wanna read it immediately. in my head, jaime could be the jerk boss who begs brienne to marry him to avoid getting deported. but instead of going back to tarth that weekend, they go to casterly rock to meet jamie’s family. same premise as the 2009 film, but slightly different and way more fun with cersei and tyrion around. also consider: the image of gwen dancing and singing to Get Low

to all the boys i’ve loved before - okay... hear me out... lara jean is brienne, kitty is arya, and sansa is margot but younger than brienne and instead of college, she’s in paris for a highschool student exchange programme. brienne is also a step-sister to the girls, cat took her in after her parents’ deaths. MEANWHILE josh is teen!sandor who sansa broke up with before she left for paris but is still best friends with brienne, peter is jaime(!!!) who kissed her during truth or dare years ago, and lucas is of course renly!! also gen is cersei but jamie’s cousin instead of sister. this is so complicated but i find it so cute still?????

i found this au from a prompt list on tumblr and its perfect: “single parents whose children are rivals in a talent show/ sports competition”. the children are tommen and arya, but brienne is arya’s foster mum since cate and ned’s death

naruto - ok so they’re both from different villages but become allies for a dangerous mission.... or brienne is hunting jaime bc he’s a missing nin from her village (catelyn would make a great kage holy shit).... whatever it is, you could totally work in a bath house scene :)

bleach - BRIENNE IS ASSIGNED TO JAIME’S DIVISION AS HIS NEW LIEUTENANT IMAGINE THEIR DYNAMIC sometimes i lay awake thinking about how tite kubo would draw brienne and jaime. [holding a butter knife] he better not give her ginormous boobs

where rainbows end/love rosie - y’all feel this too or is it just me, like just the idea of brienne opening a beach hotel in tarth... i need more brienne by the ocean fics in my life tbh. also im such a sucker for fics made up of purely texts between the characters then ending it with them meeting ahdasdjadsjad anyway Jaime is Alex and Hyle as Greg.

I Wish I Could Write These But Should You Find It Equally Interesting To Write About, Please, By All Means, Take My Brain Juice And Make It Beautiful And Let Me Know So I Can Give You Kudos And Comments Full of Squealing and Love

#jaime x brienne #braime #brienne of tarth #im fairly new here so if i didnt notice these au's in ao3 im terribly sorry #still reading as many fics as i can during the cny holidays #i used to use ellipses ironically but look at me now #this list is so long i have no life i just spend it thinking about my otp together in different universes #i have too many fandoms yeesh

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