can't stop fucking thinking about sun/moon shuggy bc shanks is the sun always and buggy is forever the moon. buggy will never be the sun, he will never shine as brilliantly as shanks or anyone else. and the moon makes no light of it's own!!!! it only shines bc the sun's light reflects off of it!!!! buggy never shines by himself!!! he will never make his own light!!! buggy who is always second best, shining only from the light shanks gives him. even worse, you only ever see half of the moon illuminated at one time!!!! shanks who gives buggy the light he needs to shine but only for certain parts of buggy!!!! never all of him!!!!! buggy never shines fully and he never will bc buggy is the moon, he isn't a star or a comet or a meteor, he's a moon and moons don't shine by themselves. and buggy who devotes himself to shanks bc he wants to shine, by god he wants it so badly he aches somedays, but shanks is the golden child, shining with splendor, and buggy knows when to stop fighting a losing battle. he sticks around for years drawn in by the gravity of shanks' orbit until loguetown, and as his captain's head hits the ground, buggy feels himself splinter into thousands of little meteoroids. he leaves shanks standing in the rain and thinks to himself, i will shine by myself or i will die trying
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A Series of Small Offerings
PART ONE -4- Calcutta
I sweat and I ache for / Your eyes and the way you breathe
OH GOD I HATE THIS ONE and i hate this paper. And it was such a fucking rollercoaster oh my gooooood. Do you remember when I've said yesterday that I have plans for Calcutta? WELL I'VE LIED. THEY'VE CHANGED AT LEAST 5364587 TIMES SINCE THIS MORNING.
Originally, I have decided on the "Melting skywards more than silence broken / I'm whole again for just a moment" part first. And halfway drawing the last idea for that line I had a moment of realisation that what I'm doing is ACTUALLY MORE FITTING FOR THE OTHER LINE. That was me for five whole minutes (pun not intended) after it struck me:
Have an alternative blurry shot to show the shiny parts that are not so visible in the main shot:
Frankly, I put the silver line + some black pointliner there, because everything melted skywards too much into each other, because if you try to have various things in different shades of black on this paper, it all just goes to shit <3
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The thing about Jamie and Ted is that they're in the somewhat unusual position of being thematically significant to each other's arcs without their actual interpersonal relationship ever being particularly central to the show — arguably because of that thematic significance.
This isn't so much the case in the first season, when Jamie represents an external source of conflict for Ted and their interactions — the positive reinforcement conversation in 1x02, Jamie faking an injury and Ted shouting at him in 1x06 — tell us about both of them more or less equally. Once we get to seasons 2 and 3, however, Jamie becomes a vehicle through which to explore Ted's trauma in a lot of their shared scenes: he remembers seeing Jamie being abused by his father during a panic attack where he's also thinking of Henry, and James coming into the locker room at Wembley is what prompts him to tell Dr. Sharon about his father's suicide. He cannot imagine a father's presence being worse than his absence, and so he tells Jamie that his dad made him a better player, and later to forgive him. Jamie says he would tell his dad "thank you and fuck you", and it reminds Ted of his not at all comparable relationship with his mother. In essence, Jamie can't have scenes with Ted where he's open and vulnerable about his past and still have them be about him, not Ted.
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If anyone is wondering why I haven't updated, there are a number of reasons. However, a major one is that Crunchyroll will no longer allow you to use old versions of the app. What this means is I am no longer able to take screenshots of record small scenes so I can transcribe them or basically do most of what I do here.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this blog, I am a broke ass bitch with a chronic, genetic kidney diseases I had the pleasure of being born with, which severely limits me in a number of ways. One such way is money: medical bills at expensive and even with insurance I owe something like $1,462.78 and that's just the past year. Nevermind the bills I collected from other hospitals/doctors. The result is I live a pretty simply life, including the fact that I don't own any sort of fancy recording equipment like "a pc". Every screenshot, every gif, every artistic and not so artistic edit, every video recording, every single post and fanfic and reply, that is all done from my phone. It's my one and only portal to the Internet and sole tool to do whatever is is I do.
With that in mind, while I am proud I managed to take my degree in English Literary Theory and learn how to do all of that on an older model Android I've had for a few years now, I also know that then bulk of internet denizens are just WAY more skilled/knowledge at this then I will ever be.
Keep in mind, I have no money (so advice along the lines of "just buy this $99 program, it's so easy!" or "why not just get a cheap laptop, you can get one for under $600 EASY these days" or even "you just need a monthly subscription to this OTHER streaming site, that doesn't have a film blocker" just doesn't help, especially since I don't even have my own subscription to CR so there is no just dropping that to pay for another.) I was hoping someone out there knew a method I could use to record the "latest" episodes.
I say latest but I left off at 1078. I know, I'm ages behind, but there is a good reason for it.
Please, anyone who knows how I can take screencaps (recordings would be useful but not required) PLEASE contact me and let me in on your secret.
I won't tattle, I swear. I just want to be able to watch the show and react about it on this blog since, sadly, I've recently lost all my OP watching buddies to various life circumstances.
Failing that, I need someone to agree to watch every single episode along with me as my "recorder", recording long swatches of each episode and then sending to me when we're done so I can get my screencaps and gifs and the likes. The good news? You'd have someone eternally thankful for your contributions, who would credit you in every post, and I wouldn't even use any jokes/observations/thoughts you might share while we watch without permission. And.... errrr. Did I mention the gratitude? Shit, that's really all I have.
But I have so much of it!
Guys, I hate getting all emotional, but I am having a hell of a year between the dogs, the bad diagnosis and, hey, this is currently my face:
For comparison, when I'm not dying:
Just any help or even attempts at advice would be welcomed. I know it's stupid, but a lot of what I personally get from reading/watching/playing things is in sharing it with others. I shouldn't have to explain that, it's part of why places like Tumblr and AO3 EXIST.
Feel free to reach out in a reblog, comment, tag me, DM, message me on discord (gildedmuse). Whatever is easiest. And thank you, so, SO much for any potential advice or help you can offer.
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I'm so sorry I can't take the Dudley-breaks-the-news-of-Eve's-supposed-death scene seriously AT ALL. It's hilarious! It's the reason why I'm a Dudley/Eve conspiracy nut, for fun, but let me explain the reasons this scene leaves me with no sanity.
First, it's important to know that the Qattara Depression, where Dudley says Eve's plane went down, is WEST of Alexandria (off to the left, on a map). Cairo is to the east/right of Alexandria. There is no way a plane headed from Alexandria to Cairo would go west.
So, from west (left) to east (right) we have: the Qattara Depression - Alexandria - the sandstorm Dudley says happened - Cairo.
Now, this is in a show that's playing fancy-dress-up-costume with history, and moved Kabrit from where it actually is (east of the Nile, by the Suez Canal) to a few hundred miles into the desert west of the Nile. Option one in the Eve plane story mystery is that the showrunners just didn't give a shit about where a place was, they simply slapped a name in there because they'd read/heard about it, and figured no one would know or bother to check. That would be on par for the show. (And the racist assumption that no one's going to know/care/bother to check where these places are - I very much doubt we're going to find them playing fast and loose with the location of European places.)
Anyway, leaving aside the option that makes me spit incredulous venom, I have a far more amusing second option to put forward:
Dudley was making shit up.
Which is extra fucking funny because Stirling, having been out in the desert, should very much know where the Qattara Depresison is. Dudley would know that Stirling should know. He'd be cackling internally at Stirling falling for it.
I don't know if I believe a word of what Dudley said, it makes no sense, but David not noticing the inconsistency means either anyone watching the show who knows vaugely where places in Egypt are just have to shriek in intense discomfort, or David is a complete and utter dumbass when it comes to remembering where places are.
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