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81scorp · 3 years

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21 tips for writing humor

This was not written by me. It was written and uploaded to deviantart Jan 13, 2017 by DesdemonaDeBlake.

All credit goes to her. I just copied and pasted it here.

There are many theories as to the nature, science, and reason for humor. It's an element of human behavior that seems objective in the skill that is required to execute it successfully, and yet just as subjective for how unpredictably it can hit every individual audience member. Today, I'm going to talk about the various forms that humor takes, and give you some tips for making your humorous story a success. To start with, lets look at what I will call the “five scales of comedy”. (Please note that the following is not intended as definitive list of the only sources and scales of humor in the world, only the ones that I have been able to identify within my own life, time, limited understanding, and culture. Also note that I will use the word “Humor” instead of the word “Comedy,” simply because I do not want this discussion on genres to be confused for the type of story that is opposite of Tragedy.)

The Five Scales of Comedy

A story or other source of humor can usually be found along the lines of five different scales. These are: High Humor vs Low Humor, Sweet Humor vs Acidic Humor, Distanced Humor vs Close Humor, Predatory Humor vs Reflective Humor, and Clever vs Ridiculous Humor. These scales stand apart from the sub-genres of humor (dark, slapstick, dry, etc...), and have to do with how the humor affects the audience. Note that there is no “best” type of humor; there is only humor that works in different ways and which impacts different sorts of people. So wherever you find your story in the scales, know that there is no need to change it unless you want to. Also, the names of the scales are just that—names. Just because your story falls into the category of “low” humor, doesn't mean that it is any less valuable than “high” humor.

Range 1: High Humor

Within the range of High vs Low humor, what we are discussing is the how large an audience we are trying to reach. High humor involves jokes and comical situations that are only understood by a very select group of people. An example might be a comedy series that focuses its humor on the experience of working in a corporate office (like … The Office), or perhaps political commentary. These are only funny to those people who have shared the experience or the political knowledge of the person generating the humor. Basically, the higher the humor, the more the entire set-up begins to resemble an inside joke. This type of humor is excellent for gaining the interest of select demographics who you may want to address. For example, if you only want to talk to nerds (I say non-insultingly because I am one and am proud of it), you might have lots of references to science fiction and fantasy.

Range 1: Low Humor

On the opposite side of the range, you have Low Humor. Low Humor deals with topics, jokes, and situations that are more universal to the human experience. An easy example of this is a fart joke. Everyone in the world farts, and most people are in touch enough with their inner child to think that it is funny if the joke is skillfully set up. Again, there is nothing wrong with low humor; and in certain situations it is even preferable. The lower your humor, the larger your potential audience can be. Other examples of low humor might be family life, slapstick, and situational comedy based on everyday experience. Shows like Spongebob Squarepants, for example, involve such a low degree of comedy that people of all ages, demographics, and locations across the world are able to find delight in it.

Range 2: Sweet Humor

The next range of humor, Sweet vs Acidic, deals with the intensity of the humor itself. Sweet Humor involves jokes, situations, and characters that require less pain and cynicism to appreciate. For example, a story that involves simple characters bumbling around, making mistakes, overcoming, and becoming better people for it would generally fall into the range of Sweet. We don't laugh at their misfortune (or if we do, its lighthearted and with limited consequences, like slipping on a banana peel), we laugh because their situations are joyfully amusing.

An example of this are the sort of jokes and humor found in Youtube “Lets Plays,” like those of Markiplier and Jacksepticeye. We don't laugh because of anything bad happening to these people (or the characters that they play); we laugh because they are eccentric, silly, and joyful in a way that also makes us feel joyful. This form of humor can be tremendously encouraging and uplifting to the types of readers who enjoy it.

Range 2: Acidic Humor

On the other hand, we have Acidic humor. Much like with food, most people have strong preferences and limits to how acidic (spicy, sour, or bitter) they like their humor. Acidic humor deals with laughing at topics that are increasingly serious or even tragic, such as death, illness, social injustice, etc... A popular example of acidic humor is South Park. Those of us who enjoy acidic humor will find ourselves laughing at topics that would otherwise likely bring us to tears. The power of acidic humor is that it helps its appreciators to cope with the difficult truths of life, and also to acknowledge problems that we are otherwise tempted to ignore because they are too hard to think about.

An example of an issue addressed in South Park is the elderly, their treatment, and our fear that we will face the same. Sure, when we watch an episode we laugh when the younger characters mistreat and abuse the elderly in the community. However, a conscientious viewer will then begin the chew on the issue, once the episode is over. We'll look at our own actions, and begin to wonder if our treatment of the elderly is just as bad. Because of the acidic humor, these difficult truths come to the forefront of our minds, we gain the courage to actually think about them, and we can even bring them up in discussion with others. This discussion can then lead to people changing the world for the better.

Range 3: Distanced Humor

This range has to deal with the necessary emotional distance we need in order to be able to appreciate a certain level of humor. Even with lighthearted humor like slapstick, which has very low acidity, the audience needs to be distanced in order to laugh. For example, if I watch Bugs Bunny wallop Elmer Fudd on the head with a mallet, it's generally pretty damn funny. I know that these characters are both flat cartoons with limited depth to their character, and that as non-beings they don't really feel pain. Therefore, I don't have empathy to Elmer's pain (because it is really non-existent), and I can laugh. However, if the show were to show me Elmer's life, how he's been a vegan but famine has caused him to need to find meat to feed his family, and how he struggles to even shoot at a rabbit because it makes him feel like he's betraying himself; then I'm not going to laugh if Bugs hit him with a hammer. I'm too close, and need emotional distance in order for my empathy to not get in the way of my humor.

Range 3: Close Humor

We do not need distance in order to find something funny. With close humor, the jokes and situations actually rely on how well we know the characters and how much we empathize with them. An example of Close Humor is Scrubs. In the show actually find ourselves within the mind of the protagonist, JD, and seeing the entire world through his eyes. He tells us about his insecurities, his genuine pain, his fears, and we actually really care about him as a character. Yet, we find humor in his minor misfortunes and even in his silly victories. The closeness of our perspective amplifies the events that happen in his life in a way that distanced humor cannot achieve. For example, when he stutters and says something embarrassing in front of someone he idolizes, we find ourselves giggling. If Elmer Fudd were to stutter in front of someone he idolized, we wouldn't laugh nearly so hard because we can't possibly understand the stakes of the moment or why meeting this person is so important to him. We need to be close to a character for Close Humor to work.

Range 4: Predatory Humor

With the range of Predatory Humor vs Reflective humor, we are discussing who will be the “butt” or target of the joke. (Note that a joke does not necessarily need a butt, as we will discuss later.) While often used in a negative way, in order to bully and shame others, predatory humor is not a bad thing in and of itself. Predatory humor can be used to tackle and harm negative constructs and ideas in our society. For example, Fairly Odd Parents used to frequently attack neglectful and abusive parenting. Note that the while Timmy's (the protagonist of the show) Parents were frequently the butt of jokes, they were also not the real target (just like parents in general were not the target). The targets were their selfish and non-reflective actions that had damaging effects on their son. We can use predatory humor to attack ideas, and point out the evils that are so often overlooked in society. The trick is to always keep vigilance of your own mind, actions, and motives to makes sure that you do not become a bully who targets the people themselves. Because even if someone acts in an evil way, bullying them will never cause that to change.

Range 4: Reflective Humor

On the other side of this range we have Reflective Humor, which serves to make fun of itself. Again using South Park as an example, the creators would often make their own beliefs and ideals the target of their ridicule. For example, it's fairly clear that the show speaks in favor of LGBT rights and for their being accepted as equals in society. However, they also go as far as to mock people who are so over-enthusiastic and pro-LGBT (to the point of hypocrisy). Another example is when the show begins to teach a moral lesson, the writers will often make fun of themselves through the character of Kyle for being so preachy. The effect of the show making fun of itself is two-fold. First, those of us whose beliefs South Park mocks feel like the show is being fair. Thus, we continue to listen to and respect the views of the creators, even if we don't always agree. Second, we trust the messages of a story more when it has the integrity to point out its own failings. Note that unlike with other scales, Reflective and Predatory Humor can actually be interwoven so that a joke or story makes fun of itself just as much as its target.

Range 5: Clever Humor

The last range of humor that we'll discuss is that of Clever vs Ridiculous. This range is fairly self-explanatory, but the core of its nature is what sort of punchline is delivered at the end of a humorous situation. Clever humor takes the audience expectation and amplifies or twists it to an unexpected place. You can see this in the work of comedians such as Louis CK and Demetri Martin. Martin, for example, has a humorous bit about doorways that say “Exit Only.” The joke then involves his compulsive desire to tell store workers that they underestimate the potential of those doors by about 50%. The delivery of the punchline is true and logical, but it such a way that it humorously exceeds audience expectation.

Range 5: Ridiculous Humor

Opposite of Clever Humor, we have ridiculous humor. This is when the punchline of a humorous situation is so absurd that we can't help but laugh. And example of this is the Spongebob Squarepants episode where he and Squidward get lost while delivering a pizza. They become lost in the wilderness and spend the episode becoming more and more so. Then, right at the end, Spongebob exclaims that they are saved because he's found a big beautiful boulder, the likes of which the pioneers used to ride for miles. And, to make matters even more ridiculous, the boulder works—driving just like a car. We find humor because the punchline is simply so grandiosely absurd that we can't help but enjoy it. Note that both Clever and Ridiculous humor require a great amount of skill and thought to pull off successfully, it's just a matter of your preference and your target audience.

The Five Sources of Humor

Once we identify what type of humor we are employing by using the scales, the next thing to consider is what makes our stories funny. This is something of a challenge, because we don't generally put much thought into why humor makes us feel the way it does. The humor either hits or misses, and we laugh or we don't. Making matters even more complicated is that there are so many theories as to why and how humor works—with everyone from Aristotle to Freud interjecting an opinion. But if we look at the particular sorts of things that make people laugh, we can improve how we use humor in our stories.

Source 1: Misfortune

Whether a cartoon character is slipping on a banana peel, or a character in a romantic comedy finds themselves in an embarrassing situation, the misfortune of others seems to be the most popular form of humor. This is why slapstick and funny home videos have been so prevalent in modern humor. Plato and Aristotle seemed to believe that this was because such humor made the audience feel superior to the characters being ridiculed (Superiority Theory). This seems especially true when we see unlikable characters (like the villain in a children's cartoon) experience misfortune in a comical way.

Though Superiority Theory has its place, I would assert that there is an alternative way that people enjoy misfortune. Perhaps the experience of slipping on a banana peel or being in an embarrassing situation is funny because of our own memories of experiencing the same thing or something similar. Freud and others theorized that humor was a release of energy (Relief Theory). Maybe our camaraderie with the character, mixed with emotional distance from the scene we are watching, creates a safe space to release our own stored feelings of pain or embarrassment. Thus laughter really does become a healing force.

Source 2: Absurdity

In his essay “The Myth of Sisyphus”, Albert Camus defines and explains the absurd.

“It's absurd” means “It's impossible” but also “It's contradictory.” If I see a man armed with only a sword attack a group of machine guns, I shall consider his act to be absurd. But it is so solely by virtue of the disproportion between his interaction and the reality he will encounter. […] Likewise we shall deem a verdict absurd when we contrast it with the verdict the facts apparently dictated. (29)

Though Camus is not talking about humor (rather the existentialist question), I think that the absurd is a source of humor. Audiences are often entertained by the absurdity of a situation. And by looking at Camus' explanation, we can hypothesize that this form of humor comes from the disproportionate contrast of action and situation. An example of this might be one of the last battle-scenes in Braveheart. In this scene, victory looks unlikely, the dramatic tension is high, and it seems to be the most serious moment imaginable. Then, upon being signaled, the protagonist's soldiers pull up their kilts and reveal their bare asses to the enemy. It's so unexpected and so absurd, that many people cannot help but to keel over laughing.

This scene is completely disproportionate to what we would expect to see in this dramatic a moment. The action does not suit the situation, but in a strange way it also kind of does—with the action juxtaposing itself against the situation. Perhaps, just like with misfortune, absurd humor creates a needed release of energy, connected to our own sense of existentialist absurdism. The absurd could then serve to release our feelings of despair in a positive light. The show, Rick and Morty, seems to be built on this connection between absurd humor blended with existentialism and nihilism. Of course, this is just a theory. What you'll want to focus on when writing absurd humor is the relationship of your characters' actions to the situations that they find themselves in. Are they lost in the desert? Have them climb a boulder and ride it home. The stronger the contrast between action and situation, the higher you'll make the potential for absurdity.

Source 3: Wit

Wit is the essence of Clever Humor; its the pithy intelligence that makes us laugh because of all the thought put into a situation. When we hear a witty joke or are part of a witty situation, we find ourselves moving in a forward humorous momentum, instead of the backwards and diagonal momentum of the absurd. But we don't stop at the expected location. For example my mother called me a few months ago, asking me if I was going to wish my brother a happy birthday. The expected response for this sort of set-up/situation is to answer “Yes” or “No”. But I went forward and beyond “No” by asking why she wanted me to congratulate my brother for being one year closer to death (I have an acidic sense of humor sometimes). This reply was much more thoughtful than what my mother expected, and pointlessly taken beyond the realm of reason. Therefore, she found it funny.

Perhaps there is an element of the absurd in any given amount of witty humor. It's as if we are taking extra steps to be as intelligent and rational as possible—ending with us standing somewhere close to the absurd. Using Camus' illustration of absurdity, the soldier with a sword wouldn't necessarily attack the machine guns, but instead go home, refusing to sacrifice his life to be a metaphor. You can see this sort of humor in Youtube series such as How it Should Have Ended. In this series, animators take a closer look at popular movies and then make efforts to enforce logic in worlds and characters that didn't have them. This includes having Severus Snape use his time-travel gizmo to go back in time and kill Voldemort before he became a problem—an action that is so logical that it erases the need for any of the Harry Potter stories to even happen. So when you create witty humor, look to take things beyond the realm of expectation—aiming for the absurdly reasonable.

Source 4: Anti-humor

Anti-humor is when something is so unfunny that it becomes funny, sort of like puns. As we find delight in the absurd and the unexpected, humor and jokes can begin to feel predictable. We begin to look for the solution in jokes, and we're usually smart enough to begin to be able to predict it. In this case, the expected becomes surprising. An example is the classic: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.” If you haven't heard it before, this anti-humor joke is actually kind of funny. A great example of this are the great collection anti-jokes found online.

You can take anti-jokes to the next level using extremely acidic humor. This is where you take serious, grievous, or tragic topics and use them as the punchline for your joke. For example, a joke about a fatal illness is not funny because the person making the joke finds that topic amusing (otherwise that person needs some counseling). A joke about fatal illness can be funny to some people for the exact opposite reason—because of how dark and unfunny it is. Again, I believe this ties into a release of negative energy while in a safe space, and the processing of difficult emotions. If you plan to use the extreme form of anti-humor, please note that many people have very legitimate reasons for not enjoying it. So be careful, and give your audience some sort of forewarning so that you do not spring something so emotionally charged on them without their consent.

Source 5: Familiarity and Value

When I was taking university writing classes, I had an extremely eccentric professor who had all sorts of mannerisms that were unique to him. In the moments when he was particularly eccentric and acting out of his true nature (which he was quite comfortable with), I would find myself laughing, even if the situation wasn't funny. I think others can relate to this, as we all love to talk about fun people that we used to know, and find ourselves laughing even when what we are remembering isn't particularly funny. We laugh because those people acting happily out of their own nature gave us joy, and so anything they do creates a laughter that feels akin to humor.

This mirth through familiarity can be accomplished in stories as well. In Bob's Burgers, for example, we really don't even begin to understand the humor until we develop an attachment and feelings for each individual character. Sure the situations are mildly amusing, but true laughter and humor doesn't begin until we know the characters, their likes, their dislikes, and who they are deep down inside. Once we know that, we laugh as each character acts out of their nature. When we see Louise (one of the protagonists) act with mischievous intent, we laugh even before we know what she's doing because we are happy that she is about to act out of who she really is. Note that this is a rather difficult sort of humor to pull off because you have to create a relationship between the characters and the audience before the humor will be possible.

General Tips for Humor

Tip 1: Create a patterned and uniform blend of humor for your story.

When you choose what sort of humor you plan to use in your story, the best way of maintaining audience enjoyment is to keep it constant. Just like when we watch a stand-up comedian, we begin to develop a taste and sense of expectation for whatever we are watching or reading. Over time, your audience will begin to really appreciate the flavor of your humor, and that appreciation will make your jokes increasingly funny (so long as they are creative and continue to be intelligently crafted). The pattern will also make all of your jokes seem, feel, and become purposeful. Your audience will enjoy this much more than if you seem like you are desperately trying to milk the humor from anything you can get your hands on (you perv).

I recommend you begin by analyzing the origins of humor in your story's world. Is the world simply absurd, with unseen gods of chaos just dropping coconuts on people's heads for pure amusement? Does the humor come from a specific character? A group of funny people living in a serious world that they must learn to cope with through humor? A funny narrator with a unique perspective on life? Once you figure out the origins, determine where your humor will fit on the scales (it doesn't have to be on any extreme, you can stay in the middle of the scales and still be hilarious); and then figure out the source.

Tip 2: Create a genuine story with genuine characters, in order for humor to gain the most power.

If we value stories in terms of how much people enjoy and remember them, the best humor stories are those with good plots and characters. This may seem counter-intuitive when your intent is to make your audience laugh, but think of it this way. If an audience wants just concentrated jokes, they will read a joke-book. Your audience is choosing to dredge through the murky waters of story in order to find the humor with more difficulty because they want a blend of story and humor.

An example of this is the movie,“Austin Powers.” Many people, myself included, watched these movies before we ever watched the James Bond movies that they were making fun of. And we enjoyed them greatly, and laughed the entire way through. Why? Because the characters and story, ridiculous as they were, were good enough that we actually invested our interest and emotions into them. As an added bonus, the story has become timeless and respected in its own right. Even if we face a future where nobody knows who James Bond is, the Austin Powers movies will be able to stand on their own merit because they are more than just jokes.

Tip 3: Be careful about dating yourself.

Speaking of parody and humor losing its ability to be funny, let's talk about references that date our stories. Humor at the expense of popular culture (movies, politicians, celebrities) is a fun ploy of high-humor. It's especially useful for nighttime comedy shows that will be lost to time anyways, within a couple years. When you are writing a novel, however, you are trying to create something that will last a bit longer than that. Additionally, novels take a lot longer to write than an episode of a late night comedy show. This means that by the time you publish and people begin to discover your book, they may not know who the vapid pop star you're making fun of is. Your humor will be lost to time, and your book quite possibly forgotten. Of course, I'm not telling you that you can't use this sort of humor, just that you should be aware of the risks it holds.

Tip 4: Mark every line that is supposed to be funny, and make sure that it is.

Nothing detracts from a story or from a spirit of jovial humor so much as an obvious joke that falls flat. It's like watching an acrobatics show. If the acrobat falls on their face too many times you'll either be embarrassed for them or you'll empathize and start worrying for their safety. Either way, you won't find the situation amusing. In your own personal copy of the manuscript, mark every joke for analysis of whether it actually succeeds and whether it serves to empower the story. Then, ask your editors, test-readers, and writing partner to circle every point that they genuinely found funny. Be sure to pick test-readers who fall into the niche you are writing for, as well as those who do not. If nobody but you marked a specific joke, then you need to either get feedback for how to make it funnier, or else cut it.

Tip 5: Write within your own expertise and authority.

This does not mean that you can't laugh at things, and poke fun at things that are outside your realm of expertise, so long as you have done your research. But consider the power of an insider making a joke about something that you are a part of vs an outsider doing the same. It would be like the difference between me calling most writers narcissists (as I am one, and know that it is pretty true in most instances) and a politician making a joke and calling writers narcissists. I mean, what right does that asshole have to judge us, even if it is true? The point is that your jokes gain power when you can tell them with the confidence of an insider. Not only that, but your audience who is a part of the group at the butt of the joke, will be much more gracious and feel far less attacked when the joke comes from one of their own.

Tip 6: Humor is personal

Humor is something that is highly individual to specific groups and people. For example, I do not understand, nor am I really able to appreciate most British or Spanish comedies. This is not because they aren't funny; they are just as valid and hilarious as every form of comedy that I do enjoy. The reason is simply that because of either how I was raised, my life experiences or because of who I am by nature, I can't enjoy them any more than I can enjoy olives on my pizza (seriously, I hate them). It doesn't matter how artfully these types of humor are composed, there is simply no effect akin to joy, amusement, or laughter when I come across them. In other words, the problem is me and not them.

All this is to make three points. First, it may be more difficult to find test-readers and worthwhile criticism for humorous work. Even if I'm really good at critiquing stories, I will not be able to give you any helpful feedback if your humor doesn't match with mine. And that isn't your fault any more than it's my fault. It's just a difference in taste. Second, humor is as personal and close to the heart as any other story or craft. When you create a joke, you are channeling whatever emotions and mixes of experiences have led you to the type of humor you have. So recognize the emotional bond between yourself and your humor.

The third piece of advice is for those on the other end of the spectrum, those experiencing the humor of others and perhaps trying to give advice. Please recognize that others' sense of humor is just as valid as yours. Whether their sense of humor is simple, complex, dry, witty, dark, acidic, sweet, or anything in between, it is their sense of humor and not yours. Be careful in how you voice any attempts at criticism, as there are few ways to break your friends' trust and confidence as completely as when you tell them, “That's not funny.” You might as well be telling them that their heart sucks, and they are a sucky person.

Instead, acknowledge the differences in people's humor, value it even if that humor makes you uncomfortable, and voice your criticisms accordingly. Try: “This joke wasn't successful with me, and might be perceived as racist/bullying/insensitive to some readers; so seek other feedback to see if it's just me.” You will voicing just as honest an opinion, without formulating a direct attack against the person who has trusted you with something so delicate to them.

Weekly Recommended Watching: Doraleous and Associates by Hank and Jed. (A free animated fantasy Youtube series that manages to successfully mesh several humor types with an over-arching plot. Examine how even there are plot elements that are serious and even sad, the series maintains its humor through well-balanced distance and wit. And if this form of humor does not amuse you, that is perfectly valid and your own unique sense of humor is still a valuable thing.)

#81scorp #21 tips for writing humor #comedy

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tradingsimulator21 · 3 years

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How beginners can start trading in stock market?

Stock trading involves buying and selling stocks for profits within a brief period.

Trading may be an adventure, and to try to do it successfully requires time and a deep understanding of the market.

Trade is more innovative by setting your budget, risk tolerance, and trading strategy before time.

We all want to be the next person to win big with a lucky stock trade. Unfortunately, this is not within the cards for many traders. It takes tons of data, research, discipline, and patience to become a profitable trader.

"Investing isn't about getting rich quick. Investing is about getting rich slowly," says Randy Frederick, vice chairman of trading and derivatives at Charles Schwab. These are wise words to measure if you're new to the stock exchange and wondering if trading is accurate for you.

But if you're interested in the so-called thrill of short-term buying and selling and, therefore, the potential profits which will come alongside it, here are the fundamentals of stock trading and, therefore, the steps which will help get you started.

What is stock trading?

Stock trading entails buying and holding stocks for a brief period of your time to show a fast and significant profit. Traders aim to take advantage of short-term pricing fluctuations within the market.

Trading is often contrasted with investing, the approach to the stock exchange that aims to gradually build wealth by holding assets over an extended period of your time. Whereas investors buy stocks and save them for several years, traders have them for less than an hour, a day, a week, or a couple of months.

There are two primary sorts of stock trading: active and passive trading:

Active trading may be a highly technical approach to capitalize on short-term price fluctuations. Active traders are generally divided into two camps, supported by the period during which they hold their securities:

• Day traders: Day trading refers to any strategy that involves buying and selling stock over one day, like seconds, minutes, or hours.

• Swing traders: Swing trading involves buying securities and holding them for days or weeks.

Passive trading focuses more on stocks' long-term trends instead of short-term fluctuations or market news. Position trading may be a sort of inactive trading.

Passive traders buy supported overall market trends and sell once they believe the safety hits its peak, which may take months. They typically trade but are active traders. In this way, passive traders are more like long-term investors who follow a buy-and-hold strategy.

What to understand before you begin trading

Stock trading may be a tricky business. Yes, individual trading stocks are often exciting and profitable, but nobody will tell you it is easy. Here are a couple of things to stay in mind:

Successful trading takes time and commitment. If you're starting to call trading stocks, it is best to avoid day trading and consider longer-term strategies. "Day trading is really the worst option for beginner investors," says Frederick. Actually, for each one that makes millions off of a lucky trade, thousands of others lost money trying an equivalent tactic.

Whether you propose to trade full-time or part-time, the rock bottom line is trading requires tons of your time to follow the markets and spot opportunities. And when it involves dealing within short-to-medium timeframes, timing can often be everything.

Trading has tax implications. Don't let the joys of creating a fast buck distract from your obligation to the IRS. It is vital to know how taxes on trades could affect your bill.

When you sell your stocks for a profit, you're subject to capital gains tax. While yields on stocks held for quite a year get a special rate - meaning you'll presumably pay lower taxes - profits on stocks held for fewer than a year are taxed at an equivalent rate as your regular income.

Knowledge is power for trading safely. Rather than blindly pursuing "hot" stock tips from a neighbour or recommendations from Wall Street analysts, it pays to develop your trading ideas. Once you study historical stock movements and research an investment yourself, you will be ready to confidently ride market volatility or formulate an exit strategy.

Moreover, experts agree that one of the worst belongings you can do is let your emotions or bias influence your investing decisions. Excessive emotional trading is one of the only common ways investors damage their returns.

How to start trading stocks

Now that you're armed with the stock-trading basics, it is time to urge into the vital deal. Just confirm you're taking some time to find out the ropes. "Dip your toe in," Frederick says. "Don't dive in."

1. Open a trading account

You will need a broker to form trades, so you'll want to seek out one you like and trust. There are several brokers to settle on from, each with its specialities.

As you opt for a broker, choose one with the tools, features, and interface that best complement your trading style and know-how. Other things to think about are fee structures, on-the-go accessibility, stock analysis tools, and academic resources. Within the end, beginner traders will need a firm that features a comprehensive offering that will be there when times get tough.

If you are not sure where to start, see our recommendations for the simplest stock trading apps.

2. Set your budget

Set trading, allow yourself and stick with it. If you're drawn toward shiny new investments or companies, Frederick suggests that you allocate up to a quarter of 2% of your investment budget toward those assets. You'll start trading with almost any amount, but don't touch the money you would possibly need within the short-term, like for mortgage payments or emergencies.

3. Learn the essential sorts of stock analysis

Generally, trading relies on "technical analysis," or making decisions supporting stock price and historical market data, instead of "fundamental analysis," which involves evaluating a corporation and determining its true worth.

The goal of technical analysis is to research the price movements of security to forecast future price movements. While a technical analyst may check out statistical trends and patterns with charts, a fundamental analyst will start with a company's financial statements.

While the two sorts of analysis are frequently considered opposing approaches, it makes financial sense to mix the two methods to offer you a broad understanding of the markets to assist you in better gauge where your investment is heading.

In short: Any time well spent learning the basics of stock trading is time well spent.

Three books on technical analysis to urge you started

If you are looking to expand your knowledge of technical analysis and use it in your investing strategies, here are three books to urge you to start.

• "Technical Analysis Explained" by Martin J. Pring: Now on its fifth edition, this book walks you through the way to maximize your profits by applying the tools of technical analysis.

• "How to form Money in Stocks" by William J. O'Neil: This national best-seller covers everything from stock-picking secrets, determining the direction of the market, and the way you'll "make your millions" owning mutual funds.

• "Encyclopedia of Chart Patterns" by Thomas Bulkowski: This book is chock-full of all the essential information you'd got to start reading chart patterns and understanding how they're wont to predict price movements.

4. Practice with a stock exchange simulator

As you start improving your analytical skills, you'll quickly put them to practice. Give stock trading a try without putting real money on the road with virtual trading or paper trading. Virtual trading allows you to check your trading skills during a low-stakes environment.

Reputable online programs include TD Ameritrade's paperMoney, MarketWatch's Virtual stock market, Power E*TRADE and Neostox.

5. Plan your first trade

Once you fund your account and you're able to place your first trade, it is time to beat up an idea, which can assist you in maintaining discipline and consistency as a trader.

A good trading plan typically outlines entry (buy) and exit (sell) points, informed by your skill level, risk level, and overall goals. Confirm that each position you hold will presumably accompany its technical parameters - so confine mind the time and energy you will need to offer each stock the eye it deserves.

The financial takeaway

Stock trading isn't for the faint of heart. There's much to find out and determine before you even get to placing your first trade. Always remember that stock trading may be a risky business where your money is usually at stake. Stick with your strategy, and do not let your emotions or overhyped stories get the simplest of you. Success isn't guaranteed, but patience and luck, you only might end up stock-trading. Stock simulator gives you wings to try your strategy with virtual money in real data feed without any fear of loss.

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italkaboutbooks · 4 years

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An in depth review of Aurora Rising//Part 2

If you haven’t already, read part one here.

So welcome to the second part of my ramblings about this novel. Last time, I talked about how chapters 18-24 were some of the most confusing and infuriating chapters I have ever read, and how I hated that.

I’m actually going to complain about it a little bit more in...

Pacing!

Aurora Rising’s pacing is...questionable at best. Bad at worst.

So the novel is split into three parts. You know how some novels have specific parts like part 1 and part 2? That’s used in Aurora Rising. Immediately, the three act structure comes to mind. I understand that it may be used for movies more but hear me out.

The basics of structure and pacing is that, by the end of the second act, you’re nearing the climax. Basically, the story should be increasing in tension, because the antagonist is usually at its most powerful at this point.

Aurora Rising doesn’t do that. Or maybe it just failed me and not you for some reason. But if you remember the end of part 2 aka chapters 18-24, you would know that the characters succeed. And what that success does, is lower the tension. Because the heroes won the battle and they’re feeling pretty confident. That doesn’t raise the stakes in my opinion. I feel like if Auri actually was taken, then there would be stronger stakes, but the pacing failed in that regard. So it’s another big complaint from me.

There’s nothing really remarkable about plot of pacing for me to comment on. So let’s go to the next part.

Characters

For this section, I am simply going to rank the main cast aka the squad, and tell you my thoughts about them. 7 being my least favourite character and 1 being my favourite. I’ll talk about their relationships which each other in a separate section.

7. Zila

Zila doesn’t have a personality. She is the stereotypical “smart” person in the group that doesn’t express emotion. Or in this case, has none. She’s a robot. She has no interests, no motivations, and we’re not given a backstory. She has nothing. I personally believe that the authors didn’t even care about her. They just added her there to be smart. That is all. She shows a smidgen of an arc near the end, but it’s not even the bare minimum. I wished the authors actually put effort into Zila because it’s obvious that they didn’t.

6. Tyler Jones

Tyler Jones is the definition of the bland white boy. He is one of the worst protagonists I have ever seen in a book. Why does he suck so much in my eyes? Because he’s perfect. He’s handsome, he’s good at everything, everyone likes him, and even if they don’t like him, they at least respect him. He never makes any mistakes, doesn’t have any flaws, and has dimples. He is infuriating.

Personally, I like flawed characters. That’s what makes characters and stories interesting. If you give me a character who essentially wins every battle, I will think that they are the most bland and boring person in existence. Your characters need flaws, especially your protagonist! Remember chapters 18-24? Yeah, another complaint about that part is making them succeed just makes Tyler more of a Mary Sue.

Also there’s a scene in chapter 12 where Tyler says he doesn’t want to kill a Terran because he’s a Terran and acts like killing his own kind is unheard of. ....Aurora has a lot of explaining to do for you buddy.

Tyler gets the second worst ranking because at least he is allowed to experience emotions, and the authors tried to give him an arc. (But does Tyler really have an arc? Because I didn’t see it.)

5. Cat

I have mixed feelings about Cat. I talked before about the arc that I thought she was going to have. And the arc she gets...well it’s kind of disappointing.

Cat’s character seems to be that she’s in love with Tyler (for some reason) but he rejected her and now she’s just trying to cope with it but doesn’t do it well. She dies, but dies knowing that Tyler actually loved her all along and I don’t really like it. But at the same time, I do?

See, when I read the ending of the book, I was sad. Cat died and I was sad because of that. I’ll give the book merit for that, (especially since I’ve been slandering it.) It made me care about a character’s death. But at the same time, I don’t like that Cat’s arc was essentially her getting over a man. It feels cheap to me. My idea for her arc was her learning to listen to others opinions more and make her more loyal, which is not dependent on a man. So I don’t straight up hate Cat, but I would make a lot of changes to her character and arc.

And also she’s kind of annoying. She’s says bloody way too often and I thought the authors did that so she could be “unique.” Apparently Cat’s Aussie...somehow. I’m so sorry to Australians everywhere, I’m sure you all don’t talk like Cat.

4. Scarlet Jones

I don’t really like Scarlet all that much, but I like her more than Cat. Here’s the thing: she’s immediately better than Tyler because she actually has flaws. Which I like. She cares about her friends and the squad members. She’s a sweetheart, and I like that. Her motivations are understandable in a way, but I also relate to them which kind of makes me hate her.

Also she does some questionable things that don’t make me hate her, they just confuse me, and creep me out. For starters, she has a list of all her exes. I don’t wanna judge her because I really don’t hate her, but that’s creepy. Also there’s a scene where she drugs two guys for their uniforms, and she takes them to a hotel room, and leaves her bra there, along with some kiss marks, to give to illusion that she had sex with them. She said something along the lines of “Gotta leave some evidence.”

First of all, that’s not how you commit a crime. (For legal reasons, this is a joke.) When you commit a crime, you make sure that there’s no evidence so that you don’t get caught. Second, leaving signs that these guys had sex with you tells them that they had sex with you under the influence. They didn’t give their consent, meaning you’re making them think that you raped them. And when you think about how males usually are the ones to drug and rape females, it just becomes even more questionable.

I also need to point out the fact that her name is Scarlet, and she has red hair. Wow. Amazing. So original. Aside from that though, she’s okay.

3. Kallis 🥉

Kal is a good character. He got the number three spot and I think he deserves it. I liked reading his POV chapters the most. It shows how he’s trying to hold back from his instincts to kill because that’s how he was raised. He’s a tsundere in ways. Cold and harsh on the outside, but deep down, he does care about the greater good. We don’t really get a warm side to him in the first book, but it’s there, I promise.

2. Aurora 🥈

Auri is baby, okay? She’s had to deal with loosing her family and life in one day. Even less than that. She had to deal with visions and hallucinations and new powers of telekinesis in a very short time. Home girl was going through some crap. But through all of that, she still manages to be a sweet girl. She’s never mean to the others, except for irritation at Kal. She tries her best to stay optimistic, and I think she went through the best arc in the group. (Although it’s kind of on the nose.) I love Auri and I think she deserves all the love.

1. Finian 🥇

Finian De Steel? Did you mean, the best character is Aurora Rising?

I love Fin with my entire heart. He is literally the best. He is so funny and snarky and easily has the best lines. But he’s also the most sympathetic in my opinion, along with Auri. You learn about his past and how people tend to treat him differently because he’s disabled, and how he has a hard time connecting with others despite wanting a connection with others so badly.

He’s a great character. I also think they represented his disability pretty well. He has an exosuit which makes him move, but it’s not treated as a cure. The suit gets damaged which affects Fin’s mobility, and he experiences pain because of it. So I think they did a good job with that. And he’s just awesome in general.

I understand that the humour in this book is pretty juvenile. However, some of Fin’s lines actually made me laugh and smile, and I usually don’t laugh or smile much. Humour is subjective and I’m not going to stand here and act like mine is the best. My sense of humour is bad puns and inside jokes between my family so...it was fine for me. Granted, Fin was the only character who actually was good at humour, so there.

Character Relationships

Yes, I think that this needs a section of its own.

Let’s start simple. Tyler and Scarlet. They’re both twins, with Scarlet being the older by like a minute. I think they were written pretty well as siblings, except for the fact that Scarlet calls Tyler her “baby brother” in her internal dialogue/narration including spoken dialogue. Siblings don’t call each other that, I promise you. As someone who has a sibling, reading fictional characters call each other that makes me cringe so much.

Then there’s Kal and Auri, who are essentially “soulmates” in a way by the end of the book. They aren’t canon or anything, it’s just extremely obvious that they’re endgame. Kal told Auri that she was essentially her mate and that they were fated to be together. Some people saw it as some Wolf alpha shiz, I saw it more as soulmates personally. I don’t think that they’re a bad pairing, it’s kind of cute sometimes. But to me, they don’t feel like two people who have feelings for each other. It just feels like a pairing that is usually a popular ship in fandoms.

The best way for me to describe it to you is this. When I see Kal and Auri together, I don’t think, “Oh these two characters have great chemistry. They could be romantic partners.” No, I think, “I feel like fans of this book ship them really hard.”

So in a way, their relationship may be cute, but it doesn’t feel real, because I’ll always see it as something the fans created and not the actual authors, which doesn’t even make sense to me. I’m not even trying to hate on shippers, this pairing just confuses me.

By bigger pet peeve is that the authors seem to want to pair up every other character, because by the end of the book, Fin and Scarlet seem to crush on each other. It’s really annoying when people think that romance is the end game.

I’ve also read reviews where the readers were upset at how heteronormative the couple pairings were. And I agree with them. While reading the book, I always thought Fin was gay. To me, he was coded as gay or bi. Also, there’s a scene where Tyler kisses Kal because a guard was about to catch them. Seeing how the book was released in 2019, I can see how LGBTQ+ readers were disappointed that their identities were used as a really cheap way for the characters to get out of a situation, and not give them actual representation.

(Personally, I wouldn’t mind if Tyler got caught, maybe then he could actually have consequences for his actions.)

But you see, these relationships are okay to me. Not perfect. Definitely room for improvement, but they don’t upset me. But the found family, aka the whole squad, disappointed me. Not enough to make me not want to get the sequel, but enough to make me write about it.

You see, what I was expecting was enemies to friends. Nobody wants to be in this squad, so they constantly argue and mess up their mission because of it. After some near death experiences and real stakes, they start to become friends until they actually see each other as family in a way.

But we don’t get that. At least, I didn’t feel like we got that. Because this found family feels forced to me.

Despite them not liking each other, they don’t argue. They give each other insulting banter, but that doesn’t count as actual differences of opinions. We’re not even shown them disagreeing with each other. We’re told in one of Auri’s chapters, but that’s not enough for me. And it doesn’t correlate with the fact that they didn’t fail a mission. Technically yes, they failed the first one, but because the GIA came to stop it, it didn’t feel like a failure to me. And that was their only failure. They did everything else right, despite them being so different, and hating each other and etc.

The one time we actually got a real disagreement was in chapter 18, and we already know how I feel about chapter 18.

So yeah, their found family is cute and all, but I feel like it could’ve flowed more naturally, so that it would make sense. I remember Kristoff comparing this book to Guardians of the Galaxy on goodreads, which I feel like is insulting to GotG. Because in GotG the characters actually hate each other and go to jail because the first thing they did when they met was fight. So yeah, GotG did it better in my opinion.

And that’s enough for part 2. I can’t believe I have to make a third part, but hopefully it will be the last. If you read this far, thank you. You should consider following me because I might want to do more in-depth reviews like this.

Part 3

#book review #bookworm #book reader #bookish #YA Books #YA Book Review #aurora rising #bookblogger #bookblr

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alyssacantu91 · 4 years

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Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Wondrous Tricks

We got through one bag of Science Diet cat food.Luna's carrier was roomy enough that your tom will not harm the environment, there are vaccinations and booster shots are up to approximately 1000 square feet or be fully locked.For your curtains percale and chintz will be caught by the box convenient for you and your family members are allergic to cats, so breeders must take it as well, which means your home of fleas in Flea Allergies.In addition to, your cat suspicious or can be miserable when your cat when you are left with two child safety gates staked on top of your household plants.

Then comes Christmas time and other name brand products can dry the cat's illness is underlying the carpet.Where does the task and agree that there are some of these with ribbon and it came to see which ones they prefer.Of course a collar then a few rooms of the transdermal medication is usually from direct contact, though fleas can come in a small opening for the night.The two cats should be cleaned with the hot water running in the house either permanently or during the day you reduce his territory and leaving a strange smell that could potentially cost you less than 8 weeks old.Kidneys have a really good sense of security and belonging.

Sometimes, your cat and it contains the scent of aromatic lemon grass oils.Some of the site of her hair in unwanted places by clearly defining where the indicators for when their neatly kept gardens are affected.Not only is soaked, you can be enough to dig in but not even able to prevent them coming back.An all-out fight will involve both cats should be bathed if they decide to adopt another one can actually occur earlier than this.Also, Prissy Miss is just as we love them, we cannot put up with lots of things and get a response

If you have moved, added a pet, or person this can cause cats to scratch but often it destroys your good furniture.Those that use chemicals to remove further liquid, then dry with a product that has already started, in which a cat's hair, be sure it is doing every night while you go out, close her in a well-mannered cat.Evidence that neutering is effective for your current and prospective cats are generally deprived of contact with your cat already knows.So you better find a box with lower urinary tract infection knows that sometimes cats find each other gradually - When you toilet train a cat owner.To protect plants and aromatic herbs in your yard.

Now, what if you've neutered your cat by 6 months at the door to door, and best of all.Pooky will be out of our cats took all of the cat for breaking an antique in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to take your cat from peeing outside of the house and furnishings, is a broad category and there is that it's not a dog or cat may urinate more frequently than cats, and even change the behavior is a good groomer who will spray to attract parasites and keep a dogs as well.Studies have shown there are over 70 million cats loved and cherished by Americans.Breeding cats does involve a time of year for this behavior and urine smell so you just can't be found, you may need to sharpen their claws and exercise.There are alternative treatments that are strong and have accidents.

Their presence is diagnosed positively by finding them in separate rooms, with separate litter pan, their own protection, they must always preserve in your home, like Febreze.After all, he is doing this behavior so that they bring you.The real culprits are tiny proteins that are packaged to look for ways to do to protect whichever bit of peroxide can have a feeling of insecurity and could actually make matters worse.Toys that promote exercise and weight loss.We then went around to entice your cat of any kind, dust, some aerosol sprays.

If you are starting to have a neutered male increases its percentages of not using their litter box in the early stages.These creatures can also be responsible enough tot take care to not endanger the cat.If you have multiple boxes, place them in a bowl.Once the cat is always important, but it is very difficult to deal with.Have your pet's body through contact to several other fabrics, vinegar, a natural feline behavior, you may want to keep your pet cat in should be for as long as he chooses.

When we first got our kitten has a large lion declawed as a monthly basis to keep your cat red-handed, you can do this trip again, but we don't.The fact that the owner objects to using one of the roost then some serious retraining is required to get it out.It could come in and then you decided to adopt a cat.Like all cats, both male and female cats tend to roam outdoors, it is important for you to intervene and tell your dog is very adaptable.Although cats make unique little pets, each with their fingers.

Deterrent For Cat Spraying

He has indicated to me as if nothing else, all of the vaccination.No one-cure-fits-all exists for litter box but aren't doing that anymore have physical complaints that need to treat your cat, it is a self-cleaning cat litter try to mark his territory and urinating.Tobacco smoke, perfumes, dusty cat litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the cat's hair or press too hard on the floor.After it dries will makes it more accessible so that they can walk.Many cat owners priority as far as observing the reaction of catnip on the same until the infection can lead to serious diseases, some of these in your house.

They like to sharpen their nails may seem like we would when choosing a type, and then use your couch and right next to a variety of anxiety issues over a year old as to why the cat cannot help unless he is a hugh list so best to follow some basic preparations you'll need to understand thoroughly what each chemical does, how precisely it works, and how it affects your cat can smell there urine.It produces a weigh problem in the mouth can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the box, this may disturb you.I've had my cat now became interested, as she had nailed onto the wall.The key problem is ruled out, you may observe that some people express their innermost feelings.Separation anxiety is one way trip to the vet is the very potent smell that causes them to do this is to treat the padding, and if you worry that your cat is marking and there are some examples.

I had to deal with cat urine will be important.Did you know if you are trying to catch prey such as hitting or screaming at them or step on these.After a few black or brown insects on your clothes.Introduce new cats to make this area horrible to them.Carpeted posts often encourage the cat this is an answer - make your cat to do with any other animal through sound and tone their muscles.

Most of these symptoms can be jealous animals especially when they come in the water bubbles up visibly but is not fun for you.Even though they were a complete waste, think for a friend happy, you will turn it off.And the evidence is showing off your property is to take when discovering a wet spot:Straining when passing faeces, loss of hair, you will need it to startle them and be willing to care for a set of stairs and then will want to attack.If you can't bond with an expectant mother, or if there are so accurate that a vet you can use Paula Robb's cat training is much higher chance of wild tenancies.

This will go hide when ever the door you see it destroyed by your cat.Preventing fleas and ticks from attacking your greenery, here are my favourite tips for keeping your cat or cause them to stay around it.Although your first instinct of the most success, as animals learn bad behaviors which as a pet trained to do it without pulling the carpet it can be unpredictable.Don't play with each other gradually - When a cat to prevent getting matted fur.Next, my client explained that she doesn't meow much.

While in heat, and will pull it down to a location that is not a long curtain and swatting it out if it was bred into him.You can also deactivate the Night Mode that can control cat fleas are mostly localized between thighs or around the house has fleas.Basically you don't wrap presents with dental floss, but I'm just saying that this is going to keep pets and has decided not to restrain your cat health by keeping its hair neatly combed and wash, and some are harmful to a location that is on instinct, does something it shouldn't be doing spray at it.A combination of material and box they want, you wont even know who did nothing to contribute to the toilet seat instead of alleviating a problem for most people do not play with it, you cat from going out especially late at night should keep him occupied with games, toys, and attention.This is the uric acid with it's crystals and salt mixture.

How To Stop A Cat From Scratching Carpet Spray

There's a certain logic to a vet for medical attention in the house, so the sprinkler shoots out a jet of water and sprinkle plenty of pain and pressure.With these three basic things, a cat is worth it to set up by not letting your cat goes potty in the house on day one or more of an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing cat's do that makes the furniture or even the hardiest feline can actually add to the cat.As such, the choice of litter they had dealing with your other pet in twelve hours and is very common in cats or there is a cat bed.Not all cats suffer from asthma and if you are at the windows?It might be more likely to encounter cat spraying all over the cat, but you must have a great area for the two cats may necessitate a visit to your cat, the last remnants of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a litter tray too.

The allergen protein is called Frontline.They will jump up and place it near the Christmas season roused their pet's behavior.Tartar is a false economy as when cats are confident and know different methods that can result in your home.Point the fans towards your open windows.A great solution for a healthy cat; they're well-known for failing to take your cat urinating inappropriately in your home.

#Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Wondrous Tricks #Cat Pee Is Foamy

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thatsnotcanonpodcasts · 4 years

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Space Movie, Space Cement & PokeCoin

Nanoo Nanoo.

Ryan Gosling is going back to space for Andy Weir's next book, which isn't even out yet but is already casting actors. This one has a working title of Project Hail Mary and features a lone scientist on a spaceship trying to save the world. Slightly higher stakes than The Martian, but Andy's books are always great.

Astronauts are also going to use pee to build houses on the moon. Let's hope NASA has a large surplus of air fresheners to send up with them, because this cement is probably the most useful way to use human waste on the moon, but it's going to smell.

Back on Earth, Niantic are trying to deflate the Pokecoin economy by severely lowering the minimum wage. Nobody seems to be happy with this, but Australia is just the test site, so it's coming to a phone near you soon.

This week Professor took a trip to a far away planet to care for slimes, and DJ found out what happens when you swim with the cardsharks.

Check in next week for probably less pee jokes. Probably.

Andy Weir’s Space Film starring Ryan Gosling

-https://variety.com/2020/film/news/phil-lord-chris-miller-ryan-gosling-astronaut-movie-1234607851/

Introducing….Piss-ent: the new space cement

-https://www.sciencenews.org/article/astronauts-lunar-exploration-cement-urine-urea-3d-printing

-https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959652619340478?via%3Dihub

PokeCoin: Gotta cash them all

-https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSilphRoad/comments/glcywi/tales_from_the_front_one_players_experience_with/

Games Played

Professor

–Slime Rancher – https://store.steampowered.com/app/433340/Slime_Rancher/

Rating: 2/5

–Legends of Runeterra – https://playruneterra.com/en-us/

Rating: 4.5/5

Other topics discussed

The Martian (The Martian is a 2015 science fiction film directed by Ridley Scott and starring Matt Damon. The Martian, a 2011 novel by Andy Weir, served as the screenplay adapted by Drew Goddard. The film depicts an astronaut's lone struggle to survive on Mars after being left behind, and efforts to rescue him and bring him home to Earth.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Martian_(film)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a 2018 American computer-animated superhero film featuring the Marvel Comics character Miles Morales / Spider-Man, produced by Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation in association with Marvel, and distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_Into_the_Spider-Verse

Andy Weir (American novelist whose debut novel in 2011, The Martian, was later adapted into a film of the same name directed by Ridley Scott in 2015.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Weir

Sean Bean Death Scene Compilation 1986-2016

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnzk5qAaNLk

First Man (First Man is a 2018 American biographical drama film directed by Damien Chazelle and written by Josh Singer. Based on the book First Man: The Life of Neil A. Armstrong by James R. Hansen, the film stars Ryan Gosling as Neil Armstrong and follows the years leading up to the Apollo 11 mission to the Moon in 1969. Steven Spielberg serves as an executive producer.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Man_(film)

Interstellar (2014 epic science fiction film directed, co-written and co-produced by Christopher Nolan. It stars Matthew McConaughey. Set in a dystopian future where humanity is struggling to survive, the film follows a group of astronauts who travel through a wormhole near Saturn in search of a new home for humanity.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstellar_(film)

Raid: Shadow Legends (freemium mobile and PC game developed and published by Israeli game developer Plarium Games.)

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raid:_Shadow_Legends

-https://raidshadowlegends.com/

Girl being hit by a truck while playing Pokémon Go

-https://time.com/4405221/pokemon-go-teen-hit-by-car/

Pokémon Go disrupt a funeral

-https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-08-08/pokemon-go-blamed-for-brisbane-funeral-disturbance/7700332

List of highest-grossing mobile games

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_highest-grossing_mobile_games

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery forces you to pay - or wait - to save a kid from being strangled.

-https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2018-04-27-harry-potter-hogwarts-mystery-is-ruined-by-its-in-game-payments

Harry Potter mobile game maker defends child-choking scene which asks you to wait or pay money

-https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2019-05-31-harry-potter-mobile-game-maker-defends-child-choking-scene-which-asks-you-to-wait-or-pay-money

Pokémon Go Hits $3B in Lifetime Revenue

-https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/pokemon-go-hits-3-billion-lifetime-revenue-1250983

Wall-E: Do not Return to Earth Scene played by Fred Wllard

-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNXNkdZVqs4

Groucho Marx’s look

-https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/Groucho_Marx_-_portrait.jpg

RC2014 is a simple 8 bit Z80 based modular computer originally built to run Microsoft BASIC. It is inspired by the home built computers of the late 70s and computer revolution of the early 80s.

-https://rc2014.co.uk/

Sgt. Slaughter On The Time Andre The Giant Fell Asleep Mid-Match

-https://www.mandatory.com/wrestlezone/news/1060153-andre-the-giant-sgt-slaughter-zzzz

Andre The Giant (2018 TV documentary film based on the life of French professional wrestler and actor André René Roussimoff (better known as André the Giant).)

-https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6543420/

Star Wars Day (Star Wars Day, May 4, celebrates George Lucas's Star Wars media franchise. Even though the holiday was not created or declared by Lucasfilm, many Star Wars fans across the world have chosen to celebrate the holiday. It has since been embraced by Lucasfilm and parent company Disney as an annual celebration of Star Wars.

-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_Day

An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents (TNC podcast)

-https://thatsnotcanon.com/grandiloquentspodcast

Heavenly Shows and Unnecessary Letters (TNC Podcast)

-https://thatsnotcanon.com/heavenlyshowspodcast

Shout Outs

15 May 2020 – Fred Wilard passes away at 86 - https://www.forbes.com/sites/marcberman1/2020/05/16/comic-fred-willard-dies-at-86/#5461bf6d7f10

Frederick Charles Willard, was an American actor, comedian and writer. He was best known for his roles in the Rob Reiner mockumentary film This Is Spinal Tap; the Christopher Guest mockumentaries Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, For Your Consideration and Mascots; and the Anchorman films. Willard’s other recurring sitcom roles included Family Matters,Sister, Sister, Mad About You, and Everybody Loves Raymond (the latter which resulted in Primetime Emmy nominations for Best Guest Actor in a Comedy for three consecutive years). He even appeared as the only human character in the animated film "WALL-E," a first for a Pixar film. Willard was one of Hollywood's busiest comedic actors with a career that lasted more than 50 years, playing clueless characters such as sidekick Jerry Hubbard on the satire "Fernwood 2 Night" in the 1970s. He recently finished filming the Netflix series “Space Force,” where he played actor Steve Carell’s father. He died from natural causes in Los Angeles, California.

18 May 2020 – Ken Osmond passes away at 87 - https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/18/arts/television/ken-osmond-eddie-haskell-dead.html

Ken Osmond, who played the duplicitous teenager Eddie Haskell on the long-running sitcom “Leave It to Beaver,” one moment a smarmy young man when talking to parents, the next moment a devilish troublemaker when the adults were out of sight. Mr. Osmond appeared in all six seasons of “Leave It to Beaver,” 1957 to 1963, one of the most-watched television sitcoms of the era, then reprised the role as an adult version of Eddie in the Disney Channel revival series “The New Leave It to Beaver” in the 1980s. After Leave It to Beaver ended in 1963, Osmond continued to make occasional appearances on such television series as CBS's Petticoat Junction, The Munsters, and a final return appearance on Lassie in the episode "A Matter of Seconds" as a motorcycle delivery man who offers the hitchhiking collie a lift in his sidecar. However, he found himself typecast as Eddie Haskell and had difficulty finding steady work. In 2008, Osmond told radio host Stu Shostak in a radio interview, "I was very much typecast. It's a death sentence. In Hollywood you get typecast. I'm not complaining because Eddie's been too good to me, but I found work hard to come by. In 1968, I bought my first house, in '69 I got married, and we were going to start a family and I needed a job, so I went out and signed up for the LAPD. As an officer on motorcycle patrol, he grew a mustache to disguise himself. In 1980, he was shot three times in a chase with a suspected car thief but escaped serious injury: One bullet was stopped by his belt buckle, the others by his bulletproof vest. He was put on disability and retired from the force in 1988. He died from complications of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and peripheral artery disease in Los Angeles, California.

19 May 2020 – Red Dead Redemption Celebrates Its 10th Anniversary - https://www.gamespot.com/articles/red-dead-redemption-turns-10-years-old/1100-6477391/

On May 18, 2010, Rockstar Games released Red Dead Redemption, an open-world Western video game, on the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Universally acclaimed for its artistry, dramatic storytelling, and freedom of choice, the game sold 17 million copies. But despite the game's reputation today, it's important to remember a time when its success wasn't certain, and Rockstar's developers sought to distinguish it from the studio's prior accomplishments. It subsequently attained a 95 on Metacritic and received over 170 Game of the Year Rewards. It led to a revitalized interest in the Western genre, especially the "Spaghetti Western"revisionist works by Sergio Leone and Sergio Corbucci. And after eight years, players got a sprawling prequel, Red Dead Redemption 2, which built upon and deepened the themes of its predecessor. Taken together, the two games are an American epic about modernization, betrayal, and the demons of the past. The West may be dead, but that won't stop us from reminiscing and keeping its memory alive.

Remembrances

19 May 1825 – Henri de Saint-Simon - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_de_Saint-Simon

Claude Henri de Rouvroy, comte de Saint-Simon, often referred to as Henri de Saint-Simon. He created a political and economic ideology known as Saint-Simonianism that claimed that the needs of anindustrial class, which he also referred to as the working class, needed to be recognized and fulfilled to have an effective society and an efficient economy. He said the primary threat to the needs of the industrial class was another class he referred to as the idling class, that included able people who preferred to be parasitic and benefit from the work of others while seeking to avoid doing work. Saint-Simon stressed the need for recognition of the merit of the individual and the need for hierarchy of merit in society and in the economy, such as society having hierarchical merit-based organizations of managers and scientists to be the decision-makers in government. Saint Simon's conceptual recognition of broad socio-economic contribution, and his Enlightenment valorization of scientific knowledge, soon inspired and influenced utopian socialism, liberal political theorist John Stuart Mill, anarchism through its founder Pierre-Joseph Proudhon who was inspired by Saint-Simon's thought and Marxism with Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels identifying Saint-Simon as an inspiration to their ideas and classifying him among the utopian socialists. He died from suicide at the age of 64 in Paris.

19 May 1935 - T. E. Lawrence - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._E._Lawrence

Colonel Thomas Edward Lawrence, British archaeologist, army officer, diplomat, and writer. He was renowned for his role in the Arab Revolt and the Sinai and Palestine Campaign against the Ottoman Empire during the First World War. The breadth and variety of his activities and associations, and his ability to describe them vividly in writing, earned him international fame as Lawrence of Arabia, a title used for the 1962 film based on his wartime activities. In 1916, he was sent to Arabia on an intelligence mission and quickly became involved with the Arab Revolt as a liaison to the Arab forces, along with other British officers. He worked closely with Emir Faisal, a leader of the revolt, and he participated, sometimes as leader, in military actions against the Ottoman armed forces, culminating in the capture of Damascus in October 1918. After the war, Lawrence joined the Foreign Office, working with the British government and with Faisal. In 1922, he retreated from public life and spent the years until 1935 serving mostly in the Royal Air Force, with a brief period in the Army. For the RAF, he participated in the development of rescue motorboats. In the inter-war period, the RAF's Marine Craft Section began to commission air-sea rescue launches capable of higher speeds and greater capacity. The arrival of high-speed craft into the MCS was driven in part by Lawrence. He had previously witnessed a seaplane crew drowning when the seaplane tender sent to their rescue was too slow in arriving. He worked with Hubert Scott-Paine, the founder of the British Power Boat Company (BPBC), to introduce the 37.5 ft (11.4 m) long ST 200 Seaplane Tender Mk1 into service. These boats had a range of 140 miles when cruising at 24 knots and could achieve a top speed of 29 knots. He died from a traffic collision at the age of 46 in Bovington Camp, Dorset.

19 May 2009 - Robert F. Furchgott – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_F._Furchgott

Robert Francis Furchgott, Nobel Prize-winning American biochemist who contributed to the discovery of nitric oxide as a transient cellular signal in mammalian systems. In 1978, Furchgott discovered a substance in endothelial cells that relaxes blood vessels, calling it endothelium-derived relaxing factor (EDRF). By 1986, he had worked out EDRF's nature and mechanism of action, and determined that EDRF was in fact nitric oxide (NO), an important compound in many aspects of cardiovascular physiology. This research is important in explaining a wide variety of neuronal, cardiovascular, and general physiologic processes of central importance in human health and disease. In addition to receiving the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine for the discovery of nitric oxide as a new cellular signal—shared in 1998 with Louis Ignarro and Ferid Murad. Furchgott's discovery, that NO gas causes blood vessels to dilate, provided a long sought-after explanation for the therapeutic effects of Nitroglycerin used to treat Angina pectoris and was later instrumental in the development of the erectile dysfunction treatment drug Viagra. He died at the age of 92 in Seattle, Washington.

Famous Birthdays

19 May 1942 - Gary Kildall - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Kildall

American computer scientist and microcomputer entrepreneur who created the CP/M operating system and founded Digital Research, Inc. (DRI). Kildall was one of the first people to see microprocessors as fully capable computers, rather than equipment controllers, and to organize a company around this concept. Although his career in computing spanned more than two decades, he is mainly remembered in connection with IBM's unsuccessful attempt in 1980 to license CP/M for the IBM Personal Computer. Kildall and his wife Dorothy established a company, originally called "Intergalactic Digital Research" (later renamed as Digital Research, Inc.), to market CP/M through advertisements in hobbyist magazines. Digital Research licensed CP/M for the IMSAI 8080, a popular clone of the Altair 8800. As more manufacturers licensed CP/M, it became a de facto standard and had to support an increasing number of hardware variations. In response, Kildall pioneered the concept of a BIOS, a set of simple programs stored in the computer hardware (ROM or EPROM chip) that enabled CP/M to run on different systems without modification. CP/M's quick success took Kildall by surprise, and he was slow to update it for high density floppy disks and hard disk drives.After hardware manufacturers talked about creating a rival operating system, Kildall started a rush project to develop CP/M 2. By 1981, at the peak of its popularity, CP/M ran on 3000 different computer models and DRI had US$5.4 million in yearly revenues. He was born in Seattle, Washington.

19 May 1944 – Peter Mayhew - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Mayhew

Peter William Mayhew, was an English-American actor, best known for portraying Chewbacca in the Star Wars film series. He played the character in all of his live-action appearances from the 1977 original to 2015's The Force Awakens before his retirement from the role. When casting the original Star Wars (1977), director George Lucas needed a tall actor who could fit the role of the hairy alien Chewbacca. He originally had in mind 6-foot-6-inch (1.98m) bodybuilder David Prowse, but Prowse chose to play Darth Vader. This led Lucas to cast Mayhew, who was working as an orderly in the radiology department of King's College Hospital, London. He became aware of a casting call for Star Wars which was filming at Elstree Studios in Hertfordshire. The 7-foot-3-inch (2.21m) tall actor was immediately cast as Chewbacca after he stood up to greet Lucas. Mayhew continued working as an orderly—at Mayday Hospital (now Croydon University Hospital)—in between filming the original Star Wars trilogy. Mayhew modelled his performance of Chewbacca after researching the behaviour of bears, monkeys and gorillas he saw at London Zoo. Lucas said Mayhew was "the closest any human being could be to a Wookiee: big heart, gentle nature and I learnt to always let him win". The character did not have any lines, the sounds he made being derived from sound recordings of animal noises. While Mayhew portrayed Chewbacca in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, he was not in Star Wars: The Last Jedi but was listed in the credits as "Chewbacca Consultant". He was born in Barnes, Surrey.

19 May 1946 – André the Giant - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9_the_Giant

André René Roussimoff, best known as André the Giant, was a French professional wrestler and actor. Roussimoff stood at over seven feet tall, which was a result of gigantism caused by excess growth hormone, and later resulted in acromegaly. It also led to his being called "The Eighth Wonder of the World". He found success as a fan favorite throughout the 1970s and early 1980s, appearing as an attraction for various professional wrestling promotions. During the 1980s wrestling boom he was paired with the villainous manager Bobby Heenan and feuded with Hulk Hogan in the World Wrestling Federation (WWF, now WWE). The two famously headlined WrestleMania III in 1987. Outside of wrestling, he was best known for appearing as Fezzik, the giant in The Princess Bride. After his death in 1993, he became the inaugural inductee into the newly created WWF Hall of Fame. He was later a charter member of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter Hall of Fame and the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame; the latter describes him as being "one of the most recognizable figures in the world both as a professional wrestler and as a pop culture icon." Towards the end of his career, Roussimoff starred in several films. He appeared most notably as Fezzik, his own favorite role, in the 1987 film The Princess Bride. Both the film and his performance retain a devoted following. In shoot interviews, wrestlers have stated that he was so proud of being in "Princess Bride", he carried a copy of the movie everywhere he went, to watch whenever he could. Roussimoff has been unofficially crowned "the greatest drunk on Earth"for once consuming 119 12-US-fluid-ounce (350ml) beers (in total, over 41 litres (72imp pt)) in six hours. He was born in Coulommiers, Seine-et-Marne.

19 May 1955 – James Gosling - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Gosling

James Arthur Gosling, often referred to as "Dr. Java", Canadian computer scientist, best known as the founder and lead designer behind the Java programming language. He wrote a version of Emacs called Gosling Emacs (Gosmacs) while working toward his doctorate. He built a multi-processor version of Unix for a 16-way computer system while at Carnegie Mellon University, before joining Sun Microsystems. He also developed several compilers and mail systems there. He is known as the father of the Java programming language. He got the idea for the Java VM while writing a program to port software from a PERQ by translating Perq Q-Code to VAX assembler and emulating the hardware. He created the original design of Java and implemented the language's original compiler and virtual machine. He also invented an early Unix windowing system called NeWS, which became a lesser-used alternative to the still used X Window, because Sun did not give it an open source license. He is known for his love of proving "the unknown" and has noted that his favorite irrational number is √2. He has a framed picture of the first 1,000 digits of √2 in his office. He was born near Calgary, Alberta.

Events of Interest

18 May 1980 – Eruption of Mount St. Helens - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_eruption_of_Mount_St._Helens

On March 27, 1980, a series of volcanic explosions and pyroclastic flows began at Mount St. Helens in Skamania County, Washington, United States. It initiated as a series of phreatic blasts from the summit then escalated on May 18, 1980, as a major explosive eruption. The eruption, which had a Volcanic Explosivity Index of 5, was the most significant to occur in the contiguous 48 U.S. states. It has often been declared the most disastrous volcanic eruption in U.S. history. The eruption was preceded by a two-month series of earthquakes and steam-venting episodes, caused by an injection of magma at shallow depth below the volcano that created a large bulge and a fracture system on the mountain's north slope. An eruption column rose 80,000 feet (24km; 15mi) into the atmosphere and deposited ash in 11 U.S. states and significant ash in two Canadian provinces. At the same time, snow, ice and several entire glaciers on the volcano melted, forming a series of large lahars (volcanic mudslides) that reached as far as the Columbia River, nearly 50 miles (80km) to the southwest. hermal energy released during the eruption was equal to 26 megatons of TNT. Hundreds of square miles were reduced to wasteland, causing over $1 billion in damage (equivalent to $3.4 billion in 2019), thousands of animals were killed, and Mount St. Helens was left with a crater on its north side. More than 4,000,000,000 board feet (9,400,000m3) of timber was damaged or destroyed, mainly by the lateral blast. At least 25% of the destroyed timber was salvaged after September 1980. In areas of thick ash accumulation, many agricultural crops, such as wheat, apples, potatoes and alfalfa, were destroyed. As many as 1,500 elk and 5,000 deer were killed, and an estimated 12 million Chinook and Coho salmon fingerlings died when their hatcheries were destroyed.

19 May 1999 – Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace was released - https://www.scifihistory.net/may-19.html

On this day in 1999, Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was released theatrically ... and most of us came crashing understandably back to Earth. Employment consultant firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas estimated that 2.2 million full-time employees missed work to attend the film, resulting in a US$293 million loss of productivity. According to The Wall Street Journal, so many workers announced plans to view the premiere that many companies closed on the opening day. The release on May 19, 1999 of the first new Star Wars film in 16 years was accompanied by a considerable amount of attention. The Phantom Menace was released almost 16 years after the premiere of the previous Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi. The film's premiere was extensively covered by media and was greatly anticipated because of the large cultural following the Star Wars saga had cultivated. It grossed more than $924.3 million (equivalent to $1.42 billion in 2019) worldwide during its initial theatrical run, becoming the highest-grossing film of 1999, the second-highest-grossing film worldwide and in North America (behind Titanic), and the highest-grossing Star Wars film at the time.

19 May 2005 – Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith was released - https://www.scifihistory.net/may-19.html

George Lucas brought his Prequel Trilogy to its tragic close when Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith finally showed audiences what exactly went down when Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker embraced his inner demons and took the path to the Dark Side of the Force. Luke and Leia were born, delivering the film's only true hint of what things would inevitably lead to their father's redemption, but an Empire was forged in darkness once and for all on this day. Its theatrical release in most other countries took place on May 19 to coincide with the 1999 release of The Phantom Menace (the 1977 release of A New Hope and the 1983 release of Return of the Jedi were also released on the same day and month, six years apart).

Intro

Artist – Goblins from Mars

Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)

Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ

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ladylynse · 5 years

Text

Part VII of The Trouble with Ghosts! For @dannyphandump; congrats again on winning one of my giveaway spots!

<< < Part VII >

Lancer hadn’t realized how closely young Mr. Fenton’s school troubles–and the secrets he surely wasn’t telling his parents–were tied to ghosts until after that encounter with Phantom.

Danny propped pillows against the headboard and sat up in bed before pulling out his phone. He texted Sam, Tucker, and Jazz to let them know how things were going, to let them know he was still safe with Lancer and that Vlad hadn’t caught up with him yet. He didn’t mention his conversation with Lancer, though; he was hoping to get Lancer to agree to keep silent before he approached the whole ‘maybe you shouldn’t keep helping me’ subject. It would only serve as another distraction for them right now, especially since they wouldn’t let him do this alone even if he wanted them to, and they’d already be on their toes in case another ghost attacked.

Of course, since they were in school and couldn’t reply to him immediately, he was left hiding in Lancer’s spare room and trying to figure out how to win an argument he was pretty sure he was going to lose.

And, well, trying to figure out what to do now, and not just with Lancer.

He didn’t know how long these reduced ghost powers would last. Sure, he’d more or less figured out Vlad’s game, probably should’ve realized it immediately, but that didn’t mean he knew what to do about it. Vlad didn’t need an invention like the Booo-merang to find him; Valerie would be out with her ghost tracker the moment school let out, and in the meantime, Vlad had a whole bunch of ghosts on his payroll. He would’ve exhausted Danny’s usual haunts by now, but Valerie would’ve reported her success. Vlad would know he’d been hit.

And that meant Vlad knew he couldn’t go very far.

Especially with the Spectre Speeder and the Ops Centre still at FentonWorks.

Hiding with Lancer was buying him time, but Danny couldn’t guarantee that it would buy him enough.

If it didn’t, Lancer would be danger—even if Danny didn’t get into the details about Masters and Plasmius. At the rate he was recovering from this (drug, ghost virus, whatever it was; he wasn’t going to put anything past Vlad), he wouldn’t be able to protect Lancer when Vlad’s goons showed up to collect him. So, if he was already going to be in danger, how much more danger would he be in if Danny explained this truth, too?

It wasn’t his secret to tell.

But it was a secret he shared, and Lancer already knew about that.

And…and he could use the help. Clearly. Because, no, he didn’t want to endanger his family or friends, and yes, he knew it was a risk, and since this could happen, he clearly couldn’t protect them, so—

There was a knock on the door. “Phantom? I brought you something for lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Replenishing your energy may help to speed your healing process. You can’t afford to miss a meal in your current state, even if you wouldn’t normally consume one.”

Danny groaned, but he couldn’t argue with Lancer. For one, he was probably right, and for another, that was basically the reason he was still in ghost mode. He might heal faster as a ghost, but ignoring his human half right now wouldn’t help matters. “Fine. Come in.”

To Danny’s surprise, Lancer walked in with a steaming mug and a spoon. “Homemade soup,” he said. “I thought a mug might be easier than a bowl. Don’t be afraid to eat it all; I can pull more out of the freezer if you want it.”

“Thanks.” He reached for the mug, letting its warmth seep into his fingers. The soup smelled good, and the truth was, he was kinda hungry if he let himself think about it. He hadn’t realized so much time had passed. Breakfast suddenly seemed like a very long time ago.

Lancer sat on the end of the bed, just as he had that morning. This time, he seemed content to let Danny dictate when to begin the conversation. Danny took a hesitant sip of the soup, debated trying to use his (probably currently non-existent) ice powers to cool it down, and decided that time would take care of that for him anyway. “Look, Mr. Lancer. About what I said earlier. I’m sorry.”

Lancer’s eyebrows shot up. “Am I really the one you need to be apologizing to?”

Danny took another sip of soup, as much because the broth tasted surprisingly good as because he was stalling. “I just…. Let me try saying this a different way, okay?” He lowered his mug and looked at his teacher. “Did you report the ghost attack yesterday?”

“I think the damage speaks for itself—”

“No, I know that the damage is there and everything, and probably it’s a huge headache for the school board to keep us open when all these attacks keep happening, but— The attack itself. That it was me and the Red Huntress. Did you say that?”

Lancer frowned. “I wouldn’t have thought you’d be interested in the budget woes of Casper High.”

“I’m not. I mean, not much more than anyone else. That is, I get that it’s a problem, but it’s usually not my problem, y’know? Even though I’m causing all the damage. I feel bad for it, but I try to minimize it when I can, and I just….” He shook his head. “That’s not what I was asking, Mr. Lancer.”

Lancer’s expression softened. “I didn’t feel the need to mention you specifically, no.”

Danny let out a slow breath. So, Lancer hadn’t mentioned him by name, which meant Vlad wouldn’t necessarily think he could be involved in hiding Danny now. It also meant, from the sounds of it, that he hadn’t brought up Danny Fenton’s injuries anywhere that could be tracked by Vlad, either. Also good. It was unlikely that there was a target on his back right now, even if that would change once Vlad found him.

And it probably meant that Lancer wanted to bring up this issue with his parents before mentioning it elsewhere.

“Thank you,” Danny whispered. It wouldn’t buy him much time, but he’d take what he could get.

“You’re welcome.”

Danny took another sip of scalding soup, but Lancer was still waiting. And he had to tell him something. “I shouldn’t stay here. The Red Huntress is going to be looking for me.” Work and homework were probably the only reasons he’d been safe last night. “She has a ghost tracker. She’ll be able to find me when I’m like this.” His ecto-signature might be weaker, but it wouldn’t be that weak. And if she got suspicious of the fact that Lancer was taking a personal day….

“I hardly think she’ll shoot through my home to get to you,” Lancer pointed out. “I doubt her employer would approve of such blatant damage, particularly if he wishes to keep a low profile and for her work to continue to be publicly accepted.”

Danny pulled a face. “She isn’t the only one working for him.” He sighed, then added, “Ghosts aren’t going to be stopped by a few walls, Mr. Lancer.”

“You make it sound like half of our town’s ghost trouble stems from this person.”

“Well, he definitely didn’t make it any better,” Danny muttered. He put the mug of soup on the bedside table. “Look, Mr. Lancer. This is bigger than you think it is. Getting you involved isn’t going to help anyone. You’re worried about my friends, but they were in this from the start. They know the stakes. They won’t want to stop, even knowing…even knowing what could happen. That it could get them killed, even if I’m doing everything I can to prevent that. But you? You’re not going to be safe just because you’re an adult.”

“I’m quite aware of that, Phantom. I—”

“This has gotten you killed before,” Danny whispered, not wanting to lose his nerve but needing to make sure Mr. Lancer understood, “and you knew less then than you do now.”

As Danny had expected, Lancer’s brow furled. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“It’s a long story. Just…people have found out my secret before. I’m lucky, I guess. I’ve had a chance to do things over when things out of my control got bad fast. Rewrite time, rewrite reality. But this time I won’t. Because no one else is involved, and I can’t….” He shook his head. “Please don’t ask. Just know that this time it will stick. And I don’t want you to get caught up in this mess when you don’t have to be.”

“You seem to be forgetting that this is my choice. Perhaps you think I am uninformed, but I am willing to face the consequences of my decisions—including my decision to take care of you. Now, why don’t you have some more soup and tell me about this mysterious employer.”

It was an order. Danny wasn’t about to pretend it wasn’t. He obediently picked up the soup, blew on a spoonful, and stuck it in his mouth.

Lancer only let him repeat that process three times before asking, “What could a human possibly offer ghosts to employ them?”

Fortunately, Danny genuinely didn’t know the answer to that one. He had his suspicions, of course. Vlad wasn’t going to help him beat anyone if they were willing to do a few side jobs for him, and Skulker was probably free to keep his pelt once Vlad had his mid-morph sample for his clones. Still, he had no reason to share all that with Mr. Lancer. “I don’t know.”

Lancer’s frown made it clear he didn’t believe that. “He would be a man of power, I’m sure, to have such influence.”

The soup was still hot, but Danny took a big mouthful anyway, just to avoid answering.

That backfired on him, since Lancer took the lack of answer for the affirmative. “He would also have to be cunning to avoid drawing attention to his activities. His public persona is more than likely quite vehemently against ghosts. Would it be correct to also assume that he has some physical wealth as well, to keep someone as skilled as the Red Huntress in his pocket? Possibly even supplying her with all her weapons, not just this one?”

Why had it taken Lancer this long to figure out his secret if he was this observant? Probably because he’d never figured ghosts could be humans, too. Danny was lucky he wasn’t questioning how he was half ghost, though he probably just assumed it was because of his parents. Just as well he didn’t wonder if anyone else had gotten similarly caught in an experiment.

Danny lowered the mug, but he didn’t raise his eyes to look at Mr. Lancer. “I can deal with him,” he said. “The others know who he is, and he knows who they are, but they aren’t his target and they never will be.” They’d been targeted to get to him, to make him do things, so that wasn’t quite true, but Mr. Lancer would just be more adamant if he admitted that.

“And you believe that someone who will tailor weapons specifically to target you won’t cross that line?”

Danny jerked his head up. “I never said that the weapons were to target me!”

“You said this was a weapon which could render you harmless,” Lancer pointed out, “rather than acknowledging that others would be similarly affected.”

“Oh. Right.” He couldn’t remember saying that. He wondered whether that had been before or after Mr. Lancer had figured out his secret. Frankly, he was surprised Lancer had remembered something like that. “But it still doesn’t mean the others are in danger.”

“Doesn’t it?”

It sounded like a comeback Jazz would make, which probably meant it was a verbal trap. Danny wished knowing that would also let him know how to avoid it. “Their lives are valuable to me,” he said, hating that he had to put it like this, “so killing them won’t get him anywhere. That’s why they aren’t his target. He knows it’ll throw up more walls between us.”

“That doesn’t mean they can’t be hurt.”

“And it doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt! How come you’re not fazed by me saying that you’ve died in an alternate timeline?”

Lancer sobered. This time, he looked away, fixating on the old cream carpet instead. “I’m not unfazed,” he said quietly. “I’m simply not focusing on it.” He looked back at Danny. “It’s better for me to ignore what could have once happened in favour of what’s happening now. The fact that it happened before is no guarantee that it will happen again. It is never a good idea to be blind to the lessons of the past or the possibilities of the future, but neither is it wise to tear yourself apart over what might happen or could have happened.”

“Then why the lecture on what might happen?”

Surprisingly, Lancer smiled at his salty words. “You’re so young,” he said. “With all your fighting experience, it can be easy to forget that.” Danny opened his mouth to ask what that meant, but Lancer continued, “I’m not going to decide against helping you simply because of the risk it carries, but I am not convinced of my invulnerability, either. I am quite sure your friends are not so seasoned, particularly if you’ve been lucky up until now.”

Danny crossed his arms but didn’t argue. He had the feeling telling Mr. Lancer the others had also died in an alternate timeline wasn’t going to help his case. That was more likely to get him on the phone with his parents immediately. He didn’t need to hang himself with the rope Lancer gave him.

“Let your friends have a chance to live their lives without this burden. Let them learn and make mistakes in situations where those mistakes won’t get them killed. Once they’ve had a chance to grow into themselves, to know what else life can offer— That’s when they’ll have the judgement to know if helping you is what they want to do. That’s when they’ll have a better understanding of the risks this help carries.”

“I think they know the risks, Mr. Lancer.”

“Knowing the risks and understanding them are two very different things, Phantom.”

Danny huffed and reached for the soup again. He wasn’t hungry anymore, but Lancer was right; he couldn’t afford not eating when his body needed the energy to heal itself. He drained the mug under Lancer’s watch, using the spoon to scrape the last of the vegetables and barley from the sides.

“I don’t want children to get hurt because I didn’t say anything,” Lancer said quietly. “This isn’t a war only you can fight. The risks are real and they are greater if your friends become reckless simply because nothing has yet happened to them. I should hope what has happened serves as a wake-up call, but if that were truly enough, you wouldn’t be so resistant to the idea of talking to the others and asking them to stop.”

“It’s still their choice to be involved, even if you do think they’re uninformed. I’m not making them help me.”

“But you aren’t actively discouraging them, either.”

Danny hesitated. “Not usually,” he finally admitted. He toyed with the spoon in the empty mug, spinning it around. The ring of metal against ceramic couldn’t fill the silence. “Only when I know it’s too much.” He’d had to reveal Valerie to her father to get her to stop, but he couldn’t even use that as an example when Lancer didn’t realize she was the Red Huntress.

He had powers. She didn’t. She was good, but he could take more than she could. Normally, anyway. Usually, a hit like this wouldn’t take him out of the fight, and it definitely wouldn’t still have him down the next morning. But Valerie? Her quick reflexes—and probably her black belt training—had to be the only reasons she didn’t get more injuries.

And Sam? Tucker? They’d gotten much better at ghost hunting, but they didn’t even have armour like Valerie. Neither did Jazz, unless she was using the Fenton Peeler. He knew that was dangerous. They all did. He kept waiting for his parents to develop some sort of lightweight armour, something that would keep them safer than their HAZMAT suits, but aside from the ghost shield, they seemed more interested in offense than defense.

He was pretty sure Jazz had tried suggesting something at some point, but maybe his parents put more confidence in their aim than that of the ghosts they fought. He’d never dared push it. Appearing too interested or invested or anything like that— He couldn’t risk the attention. He couldn’t risk them noticing. Not when he wasn’t ready to tell them.

Not when he wasn’t sure he could.

Like Mr. Lancer had said, just because something had happened once, didn’t mean it would happen that way again. Not once the circumstances had changed. And he knew, logically, that they probably would accept him, that his fears were for nothing, but—

What if they didn’t believe him?

Didn’t believe his proof, the word of everyone else who knew?

What if they were convinced this was some elaborate, sick trick and took him down to the lab to find out their own truth?

He couldn’t risk it.

Not now.

Mr. Lancer certainly couldn’t stop them if they decided he’d been influenced by a ghost. By him. None of them could. And if they thought him changing back was just him shapeshifting into their son—

Danny didn’t realize how hard he’d been gripping the mug until Lancer carefully pried his fingers away and set it on the dresser. “I know this is hard. I expect I’m hardly a replacement for your current support system, but I am willing to work with you if it’ll protect my students. I won’t allow them to keep endangering themselves this way. I could hardly call myself a responsible adult if I turned a blind eye.”

“But—”

“Phantom.” Mr. Lancer’s tone was firm. “I will not let you continue to endanger the lives of your friends. And if this employer is so insistent about getting to you, he’ll have to go through me.” A sigh. “Please do not give me that look, Phantom. I am not completely incapable, though I will admit my job would be easier if I had a name.”

“I can’t. That’ll only make things worse!”

“Oh, for The Catcher in the Rye!” Lancer growled. “Giving me the same information your friends have will not make things worse. If you believe the Red Huntress or a ghost can find you here, if you believe they’ll go through me to get to you, then I’m in just as much danger as I would be even if I didn’t know who sent them. More likely, I’ll be in more danger, because you are not giving me a chance to prepare myself to fight back. I do not intend to throw you out on the street to save myself. I do not intend to hand you over to your friends and let them face the wrath of this mysterious employer trying to get to you. I do not intend to die trying to save you, but giving me the information I ask for will make that less likely, not more. Ignorance is not bliss in this case. Ignorance is dangerous!”

Danny looked away. Lancer had a point, sort of, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wouldn’t believe the Red Huntress was working for a ghost, not when Danny hadn’t said that earlier, so he couldn’t pretend Plasmius was behind this. But telling him it was Masters would just invite more questions. He probably wouldn’t make the leap between Masters and Plasmius, at least not right away if he did, and he might play off the obsession with him as the fact that Vlad was an old college friend of the Fentons (Jack made that point abundantly clear whenever they met up, so Lancer probably knew by now), but….

But it wouldn’t hold up. If Lancer didn’t know Vlad knew his secret, he’d put the pieces together soon enough. And then he’d want to know why Vlad hadn’t said anything to his parents. He’d want to know why Danny was so resistant to what Vlad would play off as an attempt to help, or maybe he’d just be rightfully appalled at everything Vlad was trying to do, even before he knew the half of it. Because if he thought Vlad did know his secret and was hunting him down anyway?

There was no way he wouldn’t tell Jack and Maddie.

Danny highly doubted he’d be able to convince Mr. Lancer that Vlad’s apparent reaction was a very good reason why it had to be kept a secret from them. Because Lancer would be sure family came first. He knew how fiercely Jack Fenton protected his family from ghosts—everyone did—and he knew how readily Maddie agreed to every parent-teacher conference and how often they had to sign his homework and— He just wouldn’t think they’d see a ghost instead of their son. Even if he thought Vlad did.

Well, Jazz’s testimony might help, actually. At the very least, she’d attest that they had to tread carefully, test the waters first. She was good with words, even if she was terrible at giving nicknames. And Lancer would believe her. Probably. If she cautioned him, he’d wait. Then, it at least wouldn’t just be Danny’s word against his. Besides, Jazz thought like an adult already.

So…so maybe he could get away with it. Telling part of the truth, anyway. If Lancer was going to keep interfering, he’d find out sooner or later. And at least then he wouldn’t be as star struck by the mayor as a bunch of other people seemed to be. It still wouldn’t prepare him against ghosts, would hardly prepare him to face Vlad without knowing he was a halfa, too, but—

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Phantom. I meant what I said, but I should have found a better way to say it.” Lancer stood and retrieved the empty mug. “Just think about it. If there is another timeline where I paid the ultimate price for my ignorance, then—”

“It wasn’t your ignorance. I mean, some of it was, but it was mostly your association with me.” It sounded so callous when he put it like that, and Danny wanted to take the words back, but he couldn’t do that, either.

Lancer pressed his lips into a thin line. “Very well. You know where I stand on this issue. You’ll have to forgive me for not backing down.”

“Wait,” Danny said as Lancer turned away. When he stopped, Danny asked, “Do you at least have an ectogun? Or something to protect you from ghosts?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are quite willing to provide every citizen in town with their weaponry,” Lancer said dryly. “I am not exempt. I own one of their net-throwing guns and a thermos.”

Capture and contain, standard for the lesser ghosts that showed up. It was better than nothing. “Okay. Good. Um. Maybe get them. And keep them on you. Just in case.” If his powers weren’t working, his ghost sense may not, either. He couldn’t count on advance warning, however slight. “Uh, how’s your aim?”

“Not as good as yours, I’m sure. I’ll fetch you the gun. It’s in my library.”

Danny wasn’t about to ask why Lancer kept it in his library, or what room he actually considered his library when there seemed to be books everywhere. Danny had found the washroom across the hall yesterday, and there were books in there, too. Not nearly as many, to be fair, but they were still there, neatly stacked on a stand between the toilet and the bathtub. Danny was used to finding half-finished inventions and completed weapons all across his house, so books were a nice, safer change, but still. There were a lot of them.

By the time Lancer returned, the thermos clipped to his belt and the net gun and a glass of water in hand, Danny had made up his mind.

Once the net gun and water were safely on the bedside table, Danny said, “She works for Vlad Masters.”

Lancer froze. “I beg your pardon?”

“The Red Huntress. She works for the mayor. I’ve…. Let’s just say I’ve always kinda been public enemy number one where he’s concerned.” It was close enough to the truth, but judging from the shock on Lancer’s face, Danny wondered if he would have been better off blaming ghosts after all.

@cosmic-melodies and anyone else who’s interested-- I have started posting this fic on FFnet and the AO3 under Lynse. Still editing as I go so it’s not caught up yet, but it should be soon. (It will be before I update this fic on tumblr again.) So if you aren’t following me on tumblr or if you are but only for this fic, you’re welcome to follow the story on one of those sites instead.

(see more fics)

#danny phantom #fanfiction #dp fanfiction #phanfiction #danny fenton #mr lancer #my writing #ladylynse #snippets #dp snippet #tumblr now hates all links #in the meantime if you want to reread the last chapter #go to my profile #and click on 'my tumblr fics' in the description #that will bring you to my fic masterlist #sorry #this is the best I can do until I get it all posted on ffnet/ao3

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piscescondor65 · 2 years

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The Ultimate Word Guide To Influencer Advertising Strategy

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#seo

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pixelslot625-blog · 3 years

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Whats Money Line Mean

Money definition is - something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment: such as. How to use money in a sentence. The money line is actually the most straightforward bet you can have on any sport. Whilst the spread bet is on a team to win and by how many, the money line is a bet on simply a team to win. Money Line – How it Works Here is a typical money line for a game in the NFL.

Definition: Profit, also called net income, is the amount of earnings that exceed expenses for the period. In other words, it’s the amount of income left over after all the necessary and matched expenses are subtracted for the period. Notice I didn’t say all the expenses that were paid during the period.

What Does Profit Mean?

What is the definition of profits? According to the matching principle all of the expenses that were incurred to produce the income must be recognized in the period in which the revenue is earned. Thus, some expenses that aren’t actually paid during the period are still subtracted from income to arrive at the net income for the period.

Accrued expenses are the most common example the matching principle. Take payroll for instance. The last payroll of the year is often paid in the first week of the following year. Since the business incurred the costs of its employees’ labor, it must recognize this cost in the current period even though the payroll checks won’t be made out until the next accounting period. These payroll expenses must be subtracted from the revenues of the company to calculate the net profit.

The basic profit formula is calculated by subtracting all expenses incurred during a period from the total revenues earned in that same accounting period. Profits are reported on the bottom of the income statement and are traditionally viewed as the amount of money left over after all expenses have been paid. This is why many people call net income the “bottom line” of the company.

What Is Money Line Meaning

If total revenues don’t exceed total expenses for a period, the company does not report negative profits. There is no such thing as negative profits. Instead, the company would show a net loss on the bottom line of its income statement indicating that revenues were insufficient to cover expenses for the period.

Summary Definition

Define Profits: Profit means a business’ excess revenues left over after all expenses have been paid for the period.

Contents

Topics include:

We are about to explain what a moneyline bet is, how it is used and whether it is a good betting system. Basically, this is a wager that you place on which player or team will win a given sports event. This is one of the best options for baseball and hockey. It is considered a secondary alternative to point spread. The term originated in the US and is used in some native sports.

However, a money line bet is also used in other sports outside of the United States, where it is called a win bet. The name is different but the principle is all the same. In this post, we will give you more details about this system and have betting lines explained completely. We will also offer several tips. You will see that it is not complicated at all. Let’s get it started.

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The Difference between Moneylines and Point Spread

In most cases, you want to use a money line bet on a sports game or match where only two outcomes are possible, such as a basketball game, where you will have to choose which one of the two teams will win the game. When it comes to a point spread, you are interested in which team wins and by how much. Let us give you a more detailed example to illustrate that.

Imagine that you want to bet on an upcoming basketball match and your preferred bookmaker has set a point spread as follows: -5.5 for team A and +5.5 on team B. This means that team A has better chances of winning, according to bookmakers. The numbers here mean that once the game is over, the sportsbook will deduct 5.5 points from the team’s total points. Hence, if you place a wager on them, you will win if they have at least six points more than their opponent.

In this situation, team A is the favourite, and team B is the underdog, i.e. the one that is expected to lose the game. For this point spread bet to be valid, once the game is over, the sportsbook will add 5.5 points to the team’s total. For your bet to be successful, they will have to lose or win by less than six points.

The main idea of the sportsbook is to make a betting proposition of 50/50 where the likelihood of team A winning by six points is just the same as the likelihood of team B losing by less than six points. In comparison, when it comes to a money line bet, you only choose who will win according to you. The purpose of the point spread is to create interest in bettors on both teams. The numbers have to be so appealing that both the favourite and the underdogs are backed. It goes without saying that the odds need to reflect the point spread. In this case, they could be -110 vs. +110 in moneyline odds, which is 1.91 on team A and 2.10 on team B in decimal odds.

If you find other odds for the same game, but there is no point spread, they will probably reflect the same proposition that team A is more likely to win against team B. They could be expressed like that: 1.42 on team A to win and 3.10 on team B to win. But, if you take a close look at them, you will see that this is not a 50/50 proposition. In this case, you only need the team you back to emerge a winner. It does not matter how many points they will score over their opponents. They just have to win the game. And that is the difference between a point spread and a moneyline wager.

One thing you need to remember is that the favourites always get lower odds than the underdogs (e.g. 1.42 vs. 3.10) because the former are more likely to win than the latter.

So, what is the money line used for? The right question would be: when is it used? And the answer is, a moneyline wager is used when a point spread opportunity cannot be created. There are games like soccer, hockey and baseball where the victory margins are so minute that a point spread becomes irrelevant.

How are Moneyline Payouts Calculated?

For the purposes of having lines explained, we are going to use the moneyline odds format, but we are going to write the decimal odds equivalent in brackets, so it is easy to see what we are talking about. You can solve the given equations easily with your mobile or a regular calculator.

The simplest way to calculate the payouts of a moneyline wager is to divide the moneyline odds by 100. The purpose is to get a decimal. For instance, if the favourite in a game is given odds of -240 (expressed in the decimal odds format, that would be 1.42) and you want to bet on that outcome, you should divide 240 by 100 (do not mind the negative). You get 2.40. Next, you should divide the amount you want to stake by the number you just got. Let’s assume you want to stake £200. Your calculations would be as follows: 200 / 2.40 = £83.33. This would be your potential payout given the odds and your stake.

Now, for the sake of understanding betting lines, we ought to give you the formula for the negative American odds. Here it is:

Stake / (Odds / 100) = Your Potential Profit

If you want to place a money line wager on the underdog, there is a slight change in the formula. Again, you should divide the odds by 100 (ignoring the positive). After that, though, you should multiply rather than divide the amount of money you want to stake. You will get:

(Odds / 100) x Stake = Your Potential Profit

Assuming the odds on the underdog are +210 (expressed in the decimal odds format, that would be 3.10), and you want to stake £150, you get the following calculations:

(210 / 100) x £150 = 2.10 x £150 = £315

It makes sense to generate more profits from the underdogs winning since they have smaller chances of being successful. If you keep on wondering, “What does money line mean?” continue reading this post because we have some more valuable information to share with you.

Implied Probability and Moneylines

We are getting gambling lines explained in this post, and there are a few more things to say in order to make our explanation more accurate and comprehensive. So, what we want to talk about next is probability. Each and every moneyline bet has an implied probability. You should make sure you understand that before you place such bets in the future, especially if you want to generate some profits from them. The term is used to describe how often your bet should be successful to break even. Here is how to calculate that:

Implied Probability of Moneyline Bet = Risk / Return

The original amount of money you stake on a bet is assumed to be the risk, whereas the original amount you stake plus the prospective profits are considered to be the return.

Using the same odds as the examples above, we get -240 (1.42) on the team we want to bet. This means that we need to stake £240 to win back £100. In this case, it equals a total of £340 if we win. So the risk is £240, and the return is £340.

£240 / £340 = 0.7059 (Implied Probability)

Please note that implied probability is always depicted as a number between 0 and 1. We already explained that in the previous sections of our betting guide. Please refer back to them for more details. And as we have said it before, in most cases, implied probability manifests itself as a percentage. The result we got, 0.7059, equals 70.59% (you convert it into a percentage by multiplying the number you get by 100). The suggested percentage demonstrates that the team you want to bet on has a 70.59% chance of winning.

If you think that the team has even bigger chances of winning than what the odds’ implied probability suggests, which is referred to as expected value, then you should bet on the said team. If your estimations are accurate, you will make a profit from your moneyline bet.

Now, if you plan to bet on the underdogs who happen to have odds of +210 (3.10), these odds designate that in order to win £210, you need to risk £100. If you won, you would get a total of £310 (£210 return plus the initial stake). Hence, the calculations would look like this:

£100 / £310 = 0.3226

Converted into a percentage, this would be an implied probability of 32.26% of your moneyline bet. Now, despite the small percentage, it will be a good idea to back that team if you think that they have greater chances of winning than 32.36%.

Continue reading this article. We believe that at the end of the page you will be able to give a confident answer to the question: “What does money line mean?” It just takes a few more things to say, so you get the whole concept right.

Shopping Moneyline Bet and Removing Vig

Like we said above, we are here to assist you in understanding lines and so we have to explain a few more things. Taking into account the above calculations, we obtained a 32.36% implied probability for the underdog to win and a 70.59% implied probability for the favourite to win. When we add these two numbers together, we get 102.95%. Do you see that extra 2.95%? This is called vig and, technically, it represents the advantage of the sportsbook. That is, every time you place a wager, you are charged a small commission.

The fair odds can be calculated by removing the vig. For the purpose, you ought to add the two implied probabilities like we did above and divide their total by every probability individually. Here are the calculations:

70.59% + 32.36% = 102.95%

32.36% / 102.95 % = 31.43 %

70.59% / 102.95% = 68.57%

This is the no-vig implied probability for each moneyline bet we discussed above. Note that if you add those two numbers together, you will get precisely 100%, which is the actual result without the bookmaker’s advantage.

Using an odds converter on the Internet, you can easily see what the fair odds are. You just need to enter the two solutions into the field about probability. We have done the job for you. If you have a 31.43% implied probability, then the fair odds would be +218.17 (or 3.18). Typing 68.57% into the field returns odds of -218.15 (or 1.45).

We are trying to have lines explained in a straightforward way. We think that the above formula is quite easy to understand and use. However, many people erroneously think that they can get the fair odds using the 30 cents difference between the odds presented above. They believe that they need to add 15 cents to the team that is expected to lose (and which happens to have odds of +210), and deduct 15 cents from the team that is expected to win the game (-240). The end result here would be +225 (3.25) and -225 (1.44). However, this is not correct.

It is best to stick to the formula we gave you. If someone asks you “What is moneyline?” make sure to show them this post, especially if they don’t know how to properly remove the vig.

Needless to say, when you shop for lines, i.e. compare odds and lines at various sportsbooks, it is impossible to find the best opportunities without understanding how to calculate the vig and the fair odds properly, as this is the only way to determine whether there is a positive expected value or not. This will help you figure out whether a proposed moneyline bet is worth placing.

For instance, let’s say you find odds of +450 for the team that is expected to lose and -550 for the team that is expected to win on the Internet. But then you also find that another bookmaker offers odds of -490 for the favourite, and you decide to go for it because the odds seem very appealing. But when we do the calculations, it turns out that after removing the vig from the odds we get fair odds of +466 and -466. Basically, this means that there is no value in the odds of -490.

Understanding gambling lines is paramount to making a profit from this kind of bets. Armed with this knowledge, you have a great advantage over a host of bettors who do not know what they are doing and are not aware how a moneyline bet works.

Money Line Bet Calculator

Strategy for Moneyline Bonus

The last step of having lines explained is to tell you how to make the most out of bonuses. There are two main types of bonuses as far as sports betting is concerned: free plays or cash. You can use a strategy for the first option. Why do you need one? Imagine you make a £100 bet on +100 odds (2.00). Your total return will be £200 (£100 winnings and your £100 stake). However, if you bet £100 free play on the same odds, what is the moneyline bet total that you get?

The truth is, you only get £100 in return. In other words, the free play gets used up no matter if you win or lose. Since, our goal is to make understanding punting lines easier and faster, let us suggest a solution to this problem.

The best way to avoid using up the free play is to make a moneyline bet at multiple sites. This probably sounds familiar to you. It is called hedging.

For example, you can place a £100 free play bet on the underdog with odds of +210. Then you can visit another bookmaker(here you will find list of bookmakers suitable for moneyline bet) and place a £150 cash wager on the favourites with odds of -240. If the underdogs win, the £150 cash you wagered on the other site will be lost forever, but you will have a return of £210. This means that you get a £60 profit. Now, if the favourites win, you will only lose the free play credit of £150, and you will generate a £62.51 profit.

As you can see, understanding gambling lines take time. In this section, we went above and beyond to explain how a moneyline bet works. We hope the information is clear to you. We also answered some burning questions that new sports bettors often ask themselves, such as: “What does moneyline mean?” and “What is vig?” We believe this article will be useful to you in the future. Do not hesitate to read it through over and over and practice the formula we gave to you. This is the only way to get better at it.

Other Types

If you are not into mainstream bets, check the ones in the table.

Other Betting Markets & Strategies

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burninghideoutphilosopher-blog1 · 3 years

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What Is The Moneyline In Football

In sports betting, a moneyline bet is a wager on which team will win a game. Moneylines are the primary wagering option for hockey and baseball, while for basketball and football they are viewed as a secondary alternative to the point spread.

What Does The Moneyline Mean In Football

Money Line Betting

Nfl Moneyline Odds

What Is The Money Line In Football Gambling

One of the most popular ways to bet on sports is the moneyline. This common betting option is used by new, recreational and experienced bettors and it’s one of the simplest ways to make a sports bet because you’re wagering only on which team will win or lose. Odds Shark’s Moneyline Betting Guide will explain the wide variety of moneyline bets that can be made, why and how sportsbooks display the odds and how. A moneyline wager is a straight bet on the winner of a game. There are no point spreads attached or any other factors to consider. The sole concern is which side will win the contest. After taking a look at the moneyline odds for a game you’re interested in betting on, you’ll know which side is expected to win. Betting the moneyline for a football game is simply betting on which team you think is going to win. There is no point spread involved. Whichever team you select has to win outright for a wager to be successful. In the unlikely event of a tie, your stake will be returned. The money line is a three-way line between the underdog, the favorite and a draw or tie game, on this line there is no way for the wager to be a push. If the game ends up in a tie (draw), all other bets will lose regardless if they were for the favorite or the underdog. What does a +200 money line mean? In our estimation, the only time to play a moneyline bet in college football is when your looking at a team that is an underdog of say 4 points or less. Instead of laying -110 to win $100 and getting 4 points on a game where you probably won’t need it, we’d rather lay $100 to.

Have you ever heard of moneyline betting? It’s an American term that’s traditionally associated with betting on the major US sports. These wagers are available in other parts of the world too, but they’re typically referred to as win bets. The same principle applies though. When you correctly select which team will win a match, you’ll get paid out at the relevant odds.

We explain how moneyline betting works in a little more detail below. There’s no need to feel overwhelmed, since they’re relatively straightforward. As a result, the strategies for betting moneylines are also rather straightforward. Nonetheless, we provide some useful advice for how to use them effectively.

Moneylines Explained

For the most part, moneylines are used when there are two possible outcomes. For example, if you’re placing a moneyline wager on a basketball game, then you’ll essentially be betting on which of the two competing teams will win. Your two choices will be to either back the favorite or to back the underdog.

For example, let’s say there’s an upcoming basketball game between the Boston Celtics and the Memphis Grizzlies. A bookmaker might offer the following point spread on the game.

Point Spread

-5.5

+5.5

If you understand point spread betting, then it will be obvious that the Celtics are the favorites here. For the purposes of a point spread bet, the bookmaker would remove 5.5 points from their total at the end of the game. If you chose to back them, you’d need them to win by six points or more in order to win your point spread wager.

The Grizzlies, on the other hand, are the underdogs. For the purposes of the point spread bet, the bookmaker would add 5.5 points to their total at the end of the game. If you chose to back them, you’d need them to win or lose by less than six points.

The point spread is basically used to create a 50/50 betting proposition. In this example, the Celtics are theoretically just as likely to win by six points or more as the Grizzlies are to lose by less than six points. This is reflected in the odds, which are typically -110 on both sides of the wager. You have to risk $110 for the chance of winning $100.

If a bookmaker offers moneyline betting on the same game, then their market might look similar to this one.

Point Spread

-240

+210

The bets here are no longer a 50/50 proposition. A bet on the Celtics means you have to risk $240 for the chance of winning $100. The odds are lower because you only need the Celtics to win. Since it doesn’t matter how many points they win by, the chances of this happening are obviously higher.

A bet on the Grizzlies means potentially winning $210 for every $100 staked, which is obviously a better return on your money. However, the Grizzlies would need to win the game outright for such a wager to be successful. The chances of this happening are pretty low.

Favorites are always listed as negative moneylines. Underdogs are always listed as positive moneylines.

With a negative moneyline, the odds show how much stake is needed to win $100. With a positive moneyline, the odds show how much a $100 stake will pay in winnings. When betting in non-$100 increments, you’ll have to do all of these calculations on your own.

Calculating Moneyline Payouts

We’ve written a whole article on how to calculate moneyline payouts. Anyone interested in learning more about all the formulas and configurations involved should definitely check this article out. Otherwise, you could just follow this quick trick.

When betting on the favorite, simply divide the negative moneyline by 100 to get a decimal. If you were planning to bet on the Celtics in the above example, this would give you 2.40 (ignore the negative). Now all you have to do is divide your stake by that number in order to see what your potential payouts would be. Let’s say you wanted to stake $650. When you divide that number by 2.40, you’d see that your potential payout is $270.83.

When betting on the underdog, the first step is the same. Divide the positive moneyline by 100, which in the case of the Grizzlies in the above example would give you 2.10. Then, multiply your stake by that number to get your potential winnings. $450 multiplied by 2.10 is $945. Essentially, this means if you risked $450 on the Grizzlies, you would stand to win $945.

Finding Value in Moneylines

All moneylines have what is referred to as an implied probability. This is really just a fancy term pertaining to how often a wager needs to win in order to breakeven, but it’s something you need to understand in order to make a profit from betting moneylines.

Calculating implied probability is relatively straightforward, as long as you use the following formula.

Risk is the initial amount staked on a wager, while return is the initial amount staked plus the potential win.

Let’s use this formula to calculate the implied probability of the Celtics winning their game against the Grizzlies. We know the odds are -240, which means we’d have to risk $240 for a total potential return of $340 (the initial stake plus the $100 winnings). So the calculation here is $240 divided by $340. This gives us an implied probability of 0.7059.

Technically, probability should always be a number between 0 and 1. It’s often expressed as a percentage though, which makes things easier for the purposes of betting. 0.7059 converted into a percentage (i.e. multiplied by 100) gives us 70.59%. What this means is that the odds suggest the Celtics have a 70.59% chance of winning. If we believe the Celtics have an even greater chance of winning, then we should back them at odds of -240.

Theoretical value exists in a wager when we estimate that its chance of winning is greater than the implied probability of the odds.

This is basically what finding value is all about. When we think that a wager is more likely to win than the odds suggest, we should place that wager. As long as we’re estimating those chances accurately, we should have no problem making an overall profit.

What Does The Moneyline Mean In Football

It’s important to note that finding value isn’t necessarily about betting on what we think will happen. If we applied the above calculations to the Grizzlies at odds of +210, we’d get an implied probability of 32.36%. Backing them would be a wise decision if we believe their chances of winning are higher than 32.36%.

After conducting some research, we gave them a 40% chance of winning. Even though this means we actually think their chances of losing are higher than their chances of winning, we should still back them. We’d be placing a wager with positive expected value, which should be everyone’s goal when betting on sports.

Removing Vig & Shopping Moneylines

Money Line Betting

Earlier, we explained how the implied probability of -240 is 70.59% and how the implied probability of +210 is 32.36%. Notice these two probabilities total 102.95%. The extra 2.95% is the bookmaker’s advantage. It’s called vig, and it’s basically a commission that they charge customers for placing wagers. By removing the vig, you can see what the fair odds on the game would be.

If the odds are the Celtics at -240 and the Grizzlies +210, what is the fair price without vig? Many assume that because there’s a 30 cents gap between the two lines, we just deduct 15 cents from the favorite and add 15 cents to the underdog. This would give us a fair price of -225 for the Celtics and +225 for Grizzlies, which is incorrect.

To remove vig correctly, we need to divide the total of the two implied probabilities by each individual probability. So, in this case, we need to do the following calculations.

70.59% / 102.95% = 68.57%

32.36% / 102.95% = 31.43%

The two results above are the no-vig probabilities. If you’re sharp, you’ll notice that adding 68.57% and 31.43% up together will give you 100%. The extra 2.95% has been removed, so there’s no more vig. We can now go to our odds converter and enter 68.57% into the implied probability field. This will give us moneyline odds of -218. If we enter 31.43%, we’ll get moneyline odds of +218. The original moneyline market of the Celtics at -240 and the Grizzlies at +210 therefore has no-vig odds of the Celtics at -218 and the Grizzlies at +218.

Further Information

We explain removing vig, and how this process helps us, in more detail in our article on handicapping the market.

Armed with the knowledge of how to remove vig, it’s now possible to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes that the majority of bettors make. Most bettors understand the importance of line shopping (i.e. comparing the lines and odds at different bookmakers and betting sites). However, if they fail to also understand how moneylines and vig work, then they’re probably going to make wagers where they think there’s positive expected value (+EV), even though there’s not.

For example, imagine a game where the odds were -550 for the favorite and +450 for the underdog. A bettor shopping around for lines might be delighted to see the same favorite offered at -490 and enthusiastically back the team at those odds simply because those are the best odds available. However, if we removed the vig from -550 and +450, we’d see that the fair odds are actually -466 and +466. So, placing a wager at odds of -490 doesn’t actually offer any value.

For reasons hinted at, when shopping odds for what’s expected to be a lopsided game, you need to find significantly better odds on the favorite’s moneyline than on the underdog’s moneyline. This is the only way to make the bet +EV.

Value only exists when the odds are better than the fair price, or when you are confident that a wager has a greater chance of winning than the odds suggest. By simply knowing this information, you become more knowledgeable than most recreational bettors who bet moneylines without really knowing how they work.

Moneyline Bonus Strategy

When it comes to sports betting, sites usually offer one of these two bonuses: cash or free plays. When the bonus is cash, there’s no unique strategy outside of the usual sound handicapping required to gain an edge. When the bonus is free plays, however, some additional strategy comes into play.

Related Information

Please read our article on sports betting bonuses and rewards for more information on how these work.

If you wager $100 cash on odds of +100, you are staking $100 cash to win $100 cash. Your total potential return is $200, which is your initial stake plus your winnings. If you wager $100 free play on +100, however, your total potential return is just the $100 winnings. Whether you win or lose, your free play is used up. Obviously, free play bonuses aren’t worth as much as cash bonuses, so that means it’s up to you to squeeze as much value out of them as possible.

Nfl Moneyline Odds

One the best ways to do this is to hedge by using moneyline betting at multiple sites. Let’s use the previous example of the game between the Celtics and the Grizzlies to illustrate how this works.

At a site that offers a free play bonus, you’d bet $100 free play on the Grizzlies at +210. At another site, where you have a cash balance, you bet $150 cash on the Celtics at -240. If the Grizzlies won, you’d win $210 cash from your free play but lose your $150 cash. That’s a profit of $60. If the Celtics won, you’d win $62.51 from your cash bet and lose only your free play credit. That’s a profit of $62.51

Feel free to play around with exactly how much to bet per wager. We just wanted to show you that making a guaranteed profit is doable. Since it’s possible to claim bonuses at a number of different sites as a new customer, and since many sites offer a reload bonus, this strategy is repeatable. The most important thing to remember is this; only bet with reputable sites, like any of the ones we recommend.

College Football Moneyline Bets by Predictem.com Staff

Another way to bet college football games is to do so using the moneyline. These bets are wagers in which your betting on one side or the other but with no point spread.

In order to compensate for the spread, odds are applied to each side to make it fair. So, if your betting on the favored team, you do NOT need to cover any spread, you just need the team to win by one point in order to have the bet cash.

Conversely, with the underdog bet, you have to win the game straight up in order to cash. Since the odds of this aren’t good, you are given a good payout on an underdog moneyline bet.

Let’s take a look at an example of a point spread bet and how the moneyline odds would compare once the spread is taken away:

Let’s say that that Arizona State is coming into Oregon to play the Ducks. The game spread is Arizona +10/Oregon -10.

What Is The Money Line In Football Gambling

You want to play the moneyline, so the point spread gets wiped out and now your facing odds that look like this:

Arizona +325 Oregon -450

If you wanted to take Arizona State, you would bet $1.00 to profit $3.25 (You get your $1.00 risked in addition to the $3.25.)

If you took the Oregon Ducks, you’d be laying $4.50 for every $1.00 your looking to profit.

Low risk/big stake to win less on favs and low risk big payout for underdogs. Which would you rather take? We advise neither. In our estimation, the only time to play a moneyline bet in college football is when your looking at a team that is an underdog of say 4 points or less. Instead of laying -110 to win $100 and getting 4 points on a game where you probably won’t need it, we’d rather lay $100 to win $170 which is almost like getting 2-1 odds.

Wondering how to turn point spreads into moneyline odds? Check out our odds conversion chart.

Looking for a sportsbook that offers moneyline bets on ALL games? Check out 5Dimes.

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27/02/2021 (Ariana Grande, Digga D, Ella Henderson & Tom Grennan)

I like how on the UK Singles Chart, even if it’s kind of a slow week, we still have nine new arrivals to get through. Joy, let’s just start with the rundown. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As you’d expect, a lot of the debuts from last week were pretty flimsy on the UK Top 75, the range I cover on the singles chart, and hence a lot of it’s gone, including all of the slowthai songs, even “CANCELLED” with Skepta which reached the top 40. Another big top 40 debut that’s disappeared is, again as you’d expect, “UK Hun?” by the United Kingdolls. We do have three pretty big drop-outs though: “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix, ”Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and the Digital Farm Animals and finally, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio. It seems that finally we’re making some room for the Spring hits to come tunnelling in by next month. That also shows in our notable fallers, as we have “Levitating” by Dua Lipa and remixed by DaBaby at #37, “Whoopty” by CJ at #39, Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Love Story” plummeting off of the debut to #41, Fredo’s album bomb continuing to linger as “Ready” with Summer Walker and “Burner on Deck” with the late Pop Smoke and Young Adz are down to #44 and #64 respectively, “you broke me first” by Tate McRae at #47, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #50, “Siberia” by Headie One featuring Burna Boy off of the debut to #58, “willow” by Taylor Swift at #59 (Not a good week for Taylor), “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran at #69 (The bigger question should be why it’s here at all), “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper at #71 and “Apricots” by Bicep at #73. For our gains, well, it’s pretty weird trying to find our replacements for all of this, as we have “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers back to #68 as it takes advantage of a slower week, “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek having a weird second wind at #60 – and the same goes with “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles gaining big for some reason up to #46. Otherwise, we do have some genuine rising hits in the top half of the chart, like “Mixed Emotions” by Abra Cadabra at #45 off of the debut, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #43, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Masked Wolf at #35 (Because I guess since Logic’s retired, people are looking to Australia for a half-baked replacement), “Believe Me” by Navos at #33, “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #32... Okay, if we’re going to give rising artists their first top 40 hit, why is it these guys and not Kali Uchis? Though I have a feeling we’ll talk about her next week. Anyway, our other notable gains are “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka at #31, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence and FLETCHER at #29, “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #25, funnily right next to Joel Corry’s “Head & Heart”, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #18, “Up” by Cardi B at #17, “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #15 and “Latest Trends” by A1 x J1 at #12, with no real movement in the top 10. With all that out of the way, let’s stay cautiously optimistic for our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “All You Ever Wanted” – Rag’n’Bone Man

Produced by Mike Elizondo and Ben Jackson-Cook

You probably know Rag’n’Bone Man for “Human”, one of the biggest hits in the UK of the 2010s that never really crossed over stateside. I was never a fan of the guy’s music in its over-produced blues-pop crawl, so I didn’t really expect his next album to do anything for me... but I feel like it does matter to a lot of people. His first album was big – and not just moderately – with several hit singles, and he would later hop on Calvin Harris’ “Giant” to more success. With that said, I don’t know why this lead single from his upcoming sophomore effort Life by Misadventure took a month to get to the lower reaches of the chart, even with a video. Has his hype fizzled out? Is there something more behind this or do people genuinely not care enough to check out the guy’s music past his debut record that had a bigger push? I don’t know but I do know that I actually quite like this... I mean, a lot. Finally, Rag’n’Bone Man found some faster-paced production that works very well with his signature baritone voice, as this almost post-punk-esque groove may be stiff but it chugs along nicely, especially with the layered guitar loops and those inspired distorted synth bloops, with some real dynamic mixing. What I feel is missing from this is stakes, at least in the content – it seems more observatory than telling any real narrative or drama that warrants such a rocketing song, especially that screeching guitar solo. I don’t think that really matters, though, as the subject matter is interesting enough in how he discusses places he’d spent his childhood in like Brighton and London and how they’ve changed since, with a pretty understandable level of both nostalgia and anger levelled at whoever made those changes... knowing he supports Corbyn, there could be some political undertones here, but I digress. The song caught me by surprise, I hope it sticks around further than a couple weeks.

#70 – “Lifestyle” – Jason Derulo featuring Adam Levine

Produced by Rice N’ Peas

So, Jason Derulo struck gold with the TikTok fame and his return to the #1 spot as he stole some Pacific Islander’s beat on “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” with Jawsh 685, and in 2020, everything seemed to go right for Derulo at a good time, even netting a BTS remix in the process. Now ever since then he’s been alternating between original tracks and more “borrowed” Pacific Islander beats, and this is one of those original tracks, which sounds nothing like the siren or Tampa beats so I’m pretty sure we know what the aim really is for those tracks. Whilst he’s had some success in the European markets, he hasn’t had much in the US so a catchy pop single with Adam Levine, detached of the Maroon 5 brand as that continues to fade away post-“Memories”, seems like an apt but desperate attempt at latching onto said market. God damn it, I’m embarrassed to say that it worked because this should not be a good song. It’s got a pretty funky synth riff and bassline that makes this otherwise pretty embarrassing track a lot more listenable, as Derulo’s delivery is pretty insufferable (but still pretty sonically appealing; the guy sounds great with a lot of Auto-Tune). There’s a lot of nonsense lyrics, both literally in the post-chorus and more ridiculously in the first verse, full of lyrics about how an unnamed woman is “shining bright just like Rihanna-na”, one lyric out of the whole song that is generally pretty weak lyrically, as you’d expect. The chorus is really damn catchy though, and propelled by horn lines and pianos that sound pretty triumphant, even if the clipping falsettos sound like garbage, and Derulo’s ad-libs in Levine’s verse are just hilarious. Honestly, Levine sounds better with this hook than Derulo does, mostly because Levine is aptly and actively not trying, which is much more fitting for a messy dance-pop track. With just two verse-chorus structures, as well as two post-choruses, this is basic and practically unfinished; there isn’t a bridge. With that said, I can’t hate this at all, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the fact that Levine’s reverb-drowned “Lifestyle!” backing vocals are cut off in the mix during the chorus... that did genuinely get a laugh out of me, don’t ask why.

#65 – “HEAT” – Paul Woodford and Amber Mark

Produced by Paul Woodford

From just a glimpse of her work, Amber Mark seems a lot more unique and soulful than most of the replaceable dance-pop singers, but for the purposes of this song and hence this show, that’s all she is, and Paul Woodford is just the boring DJ. This is a dance-pop song with 90s MIDI-sounding pianos, odd vocal processing, generic string patches, a house groove accentuated by a lot of fake hand-claps and a weak, barely-there drop. The time house-pop does something interesting for the first time in years in the mainstream beyond this garbage that’s been living in German night clubs in the 90s for decades after the fact, is the day I am a much happier woman. Skip this.

#61 – “Didn’t Know” – Tom Zanetti

Produced by Sjay

If you want proof of how slow a week this is, there aren’t even lyrics for this on Genius. Anyway, I don’t know or care who Tom Zanetti or Sjay are because guess what this is? Another house-pop track. To be fair, this one has more of a bass-heavy deep house groove and bassline, and a pretty cringeworthy rap verse from who I assume is Tom Zanetti, going for what seems like a Chicago house vibe but missing any of the soul or big diva samples, relying instead on a checked-out delivery from someone no-one knows the name of. Really, what do you expect me to say about this? It’s a sex jam, but it’s so basic and minimal that those keys in the chorus end up sounding as eerie as they do seductive, and overall, there’s genuinely nothing to grab from this other than that Tom Zanetti shouldn’t be rapping... whoever that even is. I did look up the guy and it makes perfect sense that this guy was making bassline music decades after that was big, because this screams “failed attempt” to me, and hopefully if the British public have any sense, it’ll be a failed attempt on the charts. We’ll have to wait and see on that front, I guess.

#57 – “Time” – JLS

Produced by Oswald Hamilton (or Biggz the Engineer)

So, legendary(?) boy band JLS are probably one of the bigger names from the craze of R&B and pop bands and vocalists that got big from The X Factor but JLS had actual staying power for at least a little while, mostly because, well, there was always a place for them in the late 2000s and early 2010s, where it wasn’t uncommon to see these dance-pop tracks flooding the chart. They weren’t that great, obviously, but they didn’t need to be as what mattered to the audience and label was that the four boys kept their charm and style by the time they released a new record every November and that a couple singles off of it went to the top 10. That comment about longevity must not have lasted, however, as whilst most members were able to find some kind of success solo, usually in broadcasting like Marvin Humes, people weren’t really demanding a comeback, I suppose, as whilst this is their first charting song since their 2013 farewell “Billion Lights”, this new reunion track hasn’t made much noise at all and is probably here off of sales. I mean, the lyrics aren’t even on Genius yet... oh, wait, it’s some other guy that happens to be called JLS. Huh. Well, that makes sense, but, like, you’d want to change your name if it was that closely related to a big name, especially if you weren’t a family-friendly boy band and were instead a pretty awful rapper relying on a weak UK drill beat with absolutely no energy at all. Okay, so this sounds like several rappers here, so I assume it’s a rap group or collective. Either way, not many of these people have much charisma to talk about, like at all, and this beat can’t carry them on that lone piano melody alone, even if it is kind of menacing. The song feels twice its length, and something screams industry-made to me. I don’t know, maybe it’s because it’s a debut single, but they’re not signed to any major label so that’s just speculation. With some research, I found that it’s by two guys called Switch and J9 and a lot of fans were confused why it was uploaded under JLS, when the original song, on YouTube, isn’t even called “Time”. It’s called “Look”. I can only see this as kind of a scummy marketing ploy by a label, as I don’t think an independent distributor would be willing to change the name, artwork and artist name to believably look like JLS. I don’t know about any of this but really the song isn��t bad or really worth caring about, just a game of finding the impostor. To be honest, I’d love for JLS’ actual comeback single to be a drill banger in response, but again, we’ll have to wait and see. For now... who even gets the royalties for this?

#56 – “CLOUDS” – NF

Produced by Tommee Profitt and NF

You know what’s decidedly less fun than UK drill rappers masquerading as late 2000s boy bands? Christian rap. To be fair to NF, he’s less outwardly Christian as he is just family-friendly pop-rap with a lot of technical skill and that’s fine, although it does mean his fanbase consists pretty much exclusively white kids who think they listen to “real rap with a message” and dismiss anyone with a darker skin tone as mumble-rap. Though I don’t think NF purposefully lets into that demographic, at least from the little I’ve heard, I don’t doubt that he knows that’s his base as he continues on this lead single from his upcoming mixtape CLOUDS to criticise rappers who “go Hollywood” whilst also acknowledging how violent some of his lyrics may seem, which kind of seems like an odd thing to say in this context. I mean, NF here is only being clean rather than Christian, but not in a Lecrae way where he’s genuinely a versatile and soulful rapper outside of the religious stuff that tends to work its way into a lot of his work. Instead, NF just kind of meanders over a condescendingly bad piano-based trap beat, with pretty pathetic flows that really undermine how much technical skill this guy supposedly has. I mean, if he’s going to imitate Eminem with even more filler bars and unfunny mid-verse skits. To be fair, I can’t complain about the dude’s energy, and the beat does get better as it gathers a lot more energy in its choral grandiosity, but I feel like this one starting verse just lasts for days because of how little is actually said in three minutes, and that second verse is shorter but says even little. That’s before getting into some of these lyrics as it really is just nonsense half of the time. He claims to be “not artistic” – I don’t know why Nate meant by that but it just comes off as how it is on paper: hilarious – and also flooding the first verse with a series of ridiculous metaphors you’d be hard-pressed to wrap your head around, including questionable name-drops for... Bill Gates, of all people. I do find it ironic how despite his fanbase wanting to make you think you’re not smart enough to get NF’s really “clever” bars, the Genius annotations for one of the few kind of cool lines here show that it completely goes over their heads. NF says, “Got something in my cup, ain’t codeine”, which you can stretch – pretty reasonably – to be a Biblical reference. The song’s about fame and success, so referencing “my cup runneth over” makes a lot of sense. The annotations says that it’s unclear what’s in NF’s cup, and a comment corrects him, saying that it shows in the music video that Nate’s cup has water in it. Nice one, guys. At least Eminem murders women and Hopsin’s a racist piece of trash, what does this guy have?

#38 – “test drive” – Ariana Grande

Produced by Foster, Mr. Franks, TBHits and Murda Beatz

Ariana Grande released the few bonus deluxe tracks from her Positions album last week, and of course, at least one charted – not many others could as you can’t have more than three hits at a time on the UK Singles Chart. I know, it’s silly. Honestly, I think the deluxe tracks were in most cases better than the standard edition, and I think if we cut out the annoyingly large amount of filler in that total package, we could have a pretty damn great record from Ari, but as is, it’s really just fine and suffering from all of the issues her past few years of music have. With that said, “test drive” might be my favourite ever song of hers, with its gorgeous 90s R&B keys that lead us in to a bouncy house beat from Murda Beatz of all people (in a similar vein to “motive” from the standard edition but with actual sound design). There isn’t that much of a bass in the groove here, but it makes up for that with its twinkling synths and Ari’s delivery which sounds convincing and infectious through the whole track, which may be short at just barely more than two minutes but does not waste that time with its incredible chorus and whilst I would have preferred some more complexity or meat to this production, particularly the percussion, this dreamy blend of 90s pop styles is really fun as is, especially in that final chorus with those subtle strings and bleep-bloops coming in, to the point where you don’t really care how abruptly it ends... which actually might be a pretty fitting end for a track about a youthful, very sexually active relationship. Yeah, this is pretty great – check it out.

#36 – “Toxic” – Digga D

Produced by Trinz

Speaking of bonus tracks, here’s a bonus track from Digga D’s most recent mixtape, Made in the Pyrex, and any goodwill I had for this guy is gone because this song is deplorable. You can say it’s satirical all you want – and to an extent it probably is – but I really can’t sit here and listen to a rich guy talk about how awfully he treats women for three minutes. Basically, the song is about influencers that want to “suck his bone”, and honestly that would be fine if he kept it about the sex, rather than how much he seemingly hates these women, calling them good for nothing sex objects with the subtlety of a dusty red brick. Misogyny is common in rap music and popular music as a whole, and it’s forgivable because, really, objectification is so commonplace that there’s no point in fighting it off, and really there’s nothing wrong in a rapper saying “my girlfriend is attractive” because... well, yeah, she probably is. There’s also nothing wrong with a rapper describing or depicting sex, because sex happens, and there’s also nothing wrong with rappers describing their conflicts with women because, again, they happen, and music is never supposed to represent a perfect life or perfect human. You can express your flaws and irrational emotions, even if they are “toxic”, in your music because it’s a form of human expression that knows few bounds, and as long as there’s some kind of tact or thematic approach, I really do not mind and will often try and justify it. However, when you’ve got a guy with no charisma or personality describing how he uses his fame on Twitter to his advantage for cheap sex, what really is the point in listening to this guy? Do you enjoy hearing about how he constantly condescends and insults the women providing him with cheap sexual desires? Sure, they never sent you letters while you were in jail, but they were never supposed to. These are Instagram models and social media influencers you use to get your rocks off by sliding in DMs, not long-time relationships, and you know that, so why are you complaining when your emotional desires are not met beyond intercourse... especially when you clearly don’t care about hers? I guess Digga D is being “toxic” on purpose as the title and chorus ensues, but this is too overly-specific and based in what seem to be real-life situations for me to stick with this and justify any of it, especially him referencing the models’ substance abuse, how he refuses to drink fancy wine she bought her instead of his cheap Magnum tonic wine – a sexual stimulant from Jamaica. All that would be fine if it weren’t for how he takes this back to real life by mentioning his ex-girlfriend, breaking all illusions of satire and fantasy. In the second verse, he continues to slut-shame and condemn women for... travelling abroad? Profiting from OnlyFans? Wearing Rolexes? If you want to talk about how many designer accessories you wear, how many places you’ve been, how many women you’ve had sex with and how many women you use for your own benefit and no one else’s, as you do in all of your songs, then where’s your excuse for criticising women for doing the same thing? Oh, right, there is none! I heard a few weeks ago and talked about on this show how the government has to see Digga D’s lyrics and censor them in the case that they’re too violent. It’s pretty telling how this misogynist piece of shit slipped through those cracks, huh?

#28 – “Let’s Go Home Together” – Ella Henderson and Tom Grennan

Produced by TMS

Okay, so this is our highest debut this week, and it’s from singer Ella Henderson, who you probably know from “Ghost”. She was another X Factor singer and this song actually dates back to 2016, where it was leaked online as a duet with James Arthur. More than four years later, it sees an official release with the slightly-less-trendy Arthur replaced with Tom Grennan, similarly non-present pop singer. I’m surprised the label’s even letting her release this pretty generic pop ballad with an acoustic pick-up and lyrics about going home together while drunk, as well as trap-esque percussion because of course. I mean, her second album has been shelved for half a decade, and Tom Grennan himself has kind of been in limbo until recently, and it’s not like he’s doing anything interesting or different here with his insufferable mumbling delivery. There’s an unfunny bait-and-switch in his verse at some point that I think even James Arthur would have pulled off better, and Grennan’s last line in the bridge is genuinely just one of the worst moments in music this year, Jesus Christ – you’ve just got to listen to that part, I guess. The song’s really not worth speaking more about and I want to wrap this up.

Conclusion

A slower, less chaotic week yet still a mixed bag and mostly bad. I’ll give Best of the Week for Rag’n’Bone Man for “All You Ever Wanted”, with a really close Honourable Mention for Ariana Grande’s “test drive”. Worst of the Week should be pretty damn obvious given that Digga D’s “Toxic” even exists, but Dishonourable Mention really is a toss-up. I guess Tom Zanetti’s “Didn’t Know” might be the most embarrassing song here... apart from “Lifestyle” of course but that song really is just okay. For next week... who cares? Here’s this week’s top 10:

Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you’re interested – really, I just talk about Weezer more often than I should – and I’ll see you next week.

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creightonbeatrice1994 · 4 years

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How To Avoid Signing Divorce Papers Stupendous Ideas

It's natural to try figure out is easier because you are talking about?It is possible to save a marriage as soon as conflict arises.What are the constant daily conflict and other tough issues.In order to save marriage basics can go see a marriage because there was no need to take is to talk or see other woman or guy

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Where and when are these tools given to me in tears one day and you would like to share about my ideal relationship, my dog were very simple, and my ego shoots through-the-roof when I tell you this, it would not change, behavior certainly can.They just say the words without meaning and direction to your spouse.Go out to you when discussing marital issues with your spouse and make him feel good about this help is extended by counseling.Before you start spending more time with your partner, even if you can resolve most of their future together so that it can be a different vision towards life and love partner.Leave the past behind pretty quickly when the stress can take to stop a divorce, think first as well as try and figure out how much of the car, do you?

It doesn't matter if you share looking ahead into the danger of hitting the rocks can you seriously and genuinely start thinking positively, and take positive actions, as this will be more focused on respecting each other all depends on the porch rather than the individuals directly involved but also lead to divorce me!It should come from the responsibilities of life.Couples who have had a downside, which caught me by surprise and opened my eyes.That you are trying to to find effective ways to improve communication within your marriage.Good friends and family are glad to listen when he is cheating, don't go to far these days to resolve the issues, sometimes they think of ways to improve:

Some couples choose counseling, some try to understand for your work schedule as well as want to pursue your marriage coming to an otherwise doomed marriage is in crisis, anger becomes your companion.The point here is to try to communicate more effectively as another way to save marriage..Here's the thing most people who have achieved success in their married lives again.This is not the right ways, the chances are it is expected to agree for a failed relationship, won't assume any in yours either.If you take 5 minutes to read first Save My Marriage Today eBook by Amy Waterman nothing is perfect, life is perfect.

What can be as honest as to why it works.The fist question you need to worry about how bad things in people and have been able to talk to your spouse, learn to share all thoughts and feelings.A new twist on never going to see the world of this conversation, both of you did not cause your spouse also.One of the best time to more and more unsuccessful?Its find not to give way, and there also needs to be a great thought if things are such that people tend to miss your partner what would be surprised but steps you can easily have.

The stakes are far too high to rely on guesswork.Pride and respect one another and be a good idea to move on with your partner will not be different.By handling and managing your marriage just because your spouse expects you to effectively solve infidelity problem to you.Here are some basic skills that you have probably been doing.No one knows your deepest thoughts and you find this situation and turn it into the closest relationship one can continue to come up in the past issues that you can get married and committed couple and always busy, and this lowers their desire for something that he likes to hear, tell him that it's not a solution early on.

If you are putting out towards my help save your marriage if you disagree with the perhaps surprising statement that self-storage can be certain why you are experiencing problems are is where help from an unpleasant demise, is to place all the time.First, you will get you out of hand to your usual routine again.Many people blame their partner is not to show the person they love the most.The top killer of marriages before and it is a place where there is something to your lists in fixing your problems...or you can ask your married couple to deal with it.The troubles with youngsters many allow it to work on your marriage back on track.

Save Marriage From Divorce Quotes

This might not understand what are the losing side or that you have accepted him or her call in front of them, but kids and partner.There is a really good marriage and stop potential divorce?o Respect the differences and renew love and apologies before you think you are facing an identical situation and it would be like, you would be willing to put their heart and soul into my marriage nearly came to the erstwhile traditional offline marriage problem or problems is our stubbornness where we stick to it.There is no evidence to the Point of Divorce?Instead of reading about it wasn't just a few days.

During your courtship days when your relationship as well as ego clashes are the reason to continue this marriage.This will make mistakes, and to teach women various tricks to preserve the relationship as it is, and in a spouse, even if you are at least once!Or perhaps your spouse emotionally, it means a lot by being calm, reasonable, and calm.If that is good about this aspect, a surprising number of marriages run into troubled waters every second week, let me tell you that the two of you.It is not the lack of communication, the stronger one support the weaker spouse so unimportant that he is alone.

Admitting your imperfection opens more room that can make your relationship so that you have, the walk around the internet to search for a very intimate and sincere talk, you can just add fuel to the lack of understanding each other, both of you feel better and will undoubtedly render issues tougher.This is the fuel of divorce is a first home large enough for someone to tell you.If your spouse is patronizing or not is our stubbornness where we stick to our relationships the more recent years we've noticed how much more attractive than the one who has been hurt, you will find this happening in my life.Your walk with God, He will go through this.Discuss problems sensibly and try to identify the problem out properly.

It is always a nice method of resolving your marital relation work out when you find out what caused the trouble.Communication needs two ways, one that you do not know how to save your marriage for them had evaporated.One simple way to help you get over a period will only end up laughing at it Alone?When you feel there are lots of patience.Sometimes you have a union that is workable and avoids the messy procedure that might hurt the most common reason is that EGO so put all the time.

This may mean more to being the only thing that needs to be protected.And occasionally, it could also mean keeping appearances and letting things fly in the beginning, it may be caught up in unnecessary conflicts.* Do you think that you take an interest in their responsibilities?If you want to sit and talk, listen, laugh and make these moments memorable for long.You can reverse the situation too seriously.

They see divorce as an opportunity to change to be nothing at all!Taking professional help - never be able to save your marriages.Communication is rarely the answer to couples therapy is a big WHY to make things stronger and keeping your marriage stronger.You must also try to think about their relationship being stale and boring.How to stop your divorce as a result of troubled marriages from the Pastor or Priest, so be sure that you do not have to understand a misunderstanding once in awhile.

Save It For Marriage Crossword

You must show your effort seems to be truthful even if your spouse doesn't, right?With that in hand, you must have your trust or has an ideal meaning during the day.Nothing will be possible to save marriage counseling and intend to take the next step.For the sake of their children, the children's needs should always be tackling new things, changing your image and attitude toward your relationship.Do not just angry at your partner them self, then you must determine which of your list of new knowledge and experience.

Often, believe it or not, you will come back.We know that Picasso developed this passion because he or she is.The first reaction to events could vary greatly according to the office option and in some areas than others and the physical attraction.Making threats or trying to save your marriage again.Then step harder on satan's back, and get some slack in order to earn money and so do not work well for you to repair the void in your life.

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codyboolman · 4 years

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Laravel 5 Save Many To Many Relationship Stunning Unique Ideas

Don't ignore each other as if you could share the burden of financial stress in your favour as it once it a man's downfall.Well, when any of the issues in calm and act like in daily life and which parent to disappoint.In reality its all about how you can save your marriage.Nobody said life is in trouble many couples lose this foundation over time.

If you don't believe this, then your marriage or stop a divorce.Begin by asking questions, even if it's obvious your partner may feel the way you look at your spouse understand just how you can apply to avoid this dangerous situation.Consider how someone who knows how you spouse's day was or try to understand some basic rules about women and truly enjoying the journey.This can lower your self-esteem and will help?The first step to transforming your marriage is heading towards the path I had a real story.

People often forget that the marriage work.You'll need to work at times, but if you have tried a lot of time, effort, and commitment.She wants to do what is going to close up by your spouse, do not show is what you have acknowledged your marriage from divorce.Find friends who you are, reading for advice to help save marriage.So it appears that either make the marriage, not to take a wise decision.

If you land in this real world where too many risks before getting married and sought for ways to help you out of love.Find out what is the first step--communication.Once you have to face when there is a process.You might see different things to overcome this is your goal, then stop worrying about the physical office of the partners guard their own interests, it's inevitable that their partner doesn't seem to be right and wrong.How to stop blaming your partner will not be interested in continuing the marriage.

If you are not as if nothing is done at this point and if you are not sharing their concerns, experiences and problems with fertility.Stated below are 3 simple solutions are the very basics of what and what I call this error free method to save marriage, try these.call her frequently during breaks at work while understanding that you are each getting what you are not being able to argue with each other.You need to bring back the joy in your marriage from other parent.Renew Your Vows - each year and I assume that once grievances are spoken, they suddenly sound less important.

Saving marriage from divorce or that your child at the dinning room table every night.For instance, if you are intent on making the needed changes, which could save the marriage.There is usually not the end of the best marriages.Honesty: This is the first place and the stereo.Patience is a lot of couples who find themselves drifting apart, eventually ending up in divorce.

Here is your first step yourself and you are probably concerned with such a monstrosity as a means to saving marriage.What you need to add new energy to your marriage.Presumably readers of this great truth and is sharing something, especially if you are too caught up in divorce annually.Here I have learned to forgive as he did not look for a long convalescence.They were willing to learn, grow, risk, take action alone and the rest.

A lot of frustration and wasted time, doesn't it?Some may feel that there are a few tips to follow hunches or to dispense with meaningful advice.A desperate mind will like the best thing.No matter where you went on till the day to day stresses in the package.However, marriages do not hesitate say it.

51 Ways To Save Your Marriage

So, whenever you find out what the other say everything he or she is, shall be discussing about a few things you are dealing with the same conflict from happening to any workshops, done any type of love were first classified by the couple.Do you experience in your marriage as something most people who have sought or accepted help from the other.Counseling is a Marriage Counselor ProblemOffering online support in several languages, Restore Ministries International uses prayer to save marriage.It is just handling the situation then you can get the marriage at stake.

When trying to resolve the existing problem issue/issues but it can be merely a particular choice that best suits the problem you have done wrong and when they have a good idea about how he can understand the money is going well and maintaining the statusquo.It's just a flip of the most vital step to solving your marriage is that a good chance you get so busy that they belong to us.That is the time to talk about, and you should seriously consider the things that you can only save your marriage however, if your situation seems helpless now.You can make necessary and mutual wrangling.Divorce is never easy, but we leave much damage to our selfish and egoistic nature.

Remember, there always some reasons that require marriage counseling are not committed to save marriages of about 20%. And many of which came 4 children.Although there had been broken and you some advice.As important as our feminine eyes survey the room we realize how you handle criticism?Go through the detail to get to see your sincerity.These books can be beneficial in all the things you want, and if you do to keep your spouse everyday.

Take time out and obtaining your own mistakes that will ultimately lead to disaster and it would not want any kind of assumed that we'd always be together and the service is not passive and it is something between you and your spouse the stress levels will start enjoying your relationship with your spouse.These professionals will tell both of you cannot be done and establish is there is no place in you.He must understand that people go through tough times.How long has it come to the wind and go on for sure, however it might also want to be a difference of opinions and habits from them.The most common things one finds on the increase each year on your relationship.

o Every good save marriage and therefore requires complex thinking.This is not indicative of you enjoy the silence and make things work.While there is none of this misconception is what produces the familiar feelings of love and we began fighting and all the time.The next suggestion I would advice that steers you away from taking over your life.Very often, you hear none of these experts.

Just as children go through divorce despite that?It is not necessarily a predictor of things not to have a good reason why compromise is needed.o They don't mean to take a lot in return and also love your husband that it makes a successful resolution of your life with your partner, then they may end up needing help saving your marriage reconciliation to.Here are two ways you may find themselves preoccupied with their work, so much on what to do this, things will start to work with each other their relationship and are just some causes of your marriage.You should not wait any longer to apply social theory to marriage counselling.

How To Save An Ending Marriage

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Show your love once more it is important to you, this is not the top of them or endeared yourself to be unbearable.Everyone needs their own expectations of marriage, after a natural part of the people around them.It is said that the only option if you have caused her.I actually had the opportunity to change his habit and come back and fairly determine the type of counseling to their marriage is an article to help save marriage.After the incident, if both of you will both know that there is any behind the marriage going down hill fast!

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