#this shit? not even mentioned

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[txttletale]

"umm if you reblog or make a pro-kink post you gotta be clear you don't mean pedophilia" no i dont actually because i dont think child sexual abuse is a 'problematic kink' and the fact that you do speaks volumes about the fact that your understanding of why csa is bad is rooted in 'its icky' and not that it entails doing profound and traumatizing harm to children.

#tattletxt #genuinely this point of view is so dire lol it makes it so clear that these people like #do not give a single shit about csa enough to even understand why it happens or why its awful #csa mention cw

[throesofincreasingwonder]

You know what? I want a whole post for this:

Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity

non-negotiable!

I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.

Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.

#we as asexual people have got to have a talk about this because the shit i have been seeing is NOT okay #asexuality #sex positivity #this is largely intracommunity allo people can engage w/ it but don't be clowns #original post #500 #1k #PLEASE STOP TAGGING THIS AS 'CULTS' YOU CAN CRITIQUE A RELIGION W/O CALLING IT A CULT I AM BITING YOU #this barely even mentions Christianity like someone does not need to be in a cult to be sex negative. and also not all religions are cults #please be normal #other than that y'all have actually been very normal abt this one so far thank you #2k #5k

[littlelightfish]

Holm nation... I have a heartbreaking announcement to make.

We didn't get to see this panels animated.

(I wanted to see Laios helping him, this one isn't the one this post is all about)

I feel it's important to his character enough that Kui decided to dedicate three panels about how he aproaches and resurrects Kabru.

He is used to resurrecting people, his party sucks at keeping themselves alive. He walks up to Kabru's corpse with a worried look on his face. Then he kneels besides him and takes a second to process what he is seeing. He is seeing a young man, Kabru, dead. It makes him feel unseasy, a bit of shock that he can't take the luxury of process at the moment. He doesn't want to look, so he closes his eyes and focuses on his spell. He is realizing he is the only one alive from his party (he doesn't know where Mick is or how he is). He is the last one standing. The reality of it all slaps him in the face.

The panel of him just... looking at the mess Kabru's corpse is was just... It was important. It talked about him as a character. "I'm not doing this because I want to, but because I have to". He doesn't has time for emotions. He has a job to do.

It's just three panels. But they provide lots of context between the ones that came before and after.

He doesn't just rubs Kabru's head because he's being afective. He does it because he cares. He does it out of relief. "As long as I'm here, any of you'll be dying soon. And I'll always be here. Don't worry." He is far from being OK after all this. Marillier died, Daya died, Kuro died, Kabru died, Rin died, Mick probably died too (but he doesn't saw it). He... By the time he was the only one standing, the fight was over, and he could alredy resurrect them. He wants to feel sad. To worry, to be concerned, to mourn. But he can't. It isn't necessary.

He is a cleric. He for sure has a notion of dead way different than anyone and feels a certain way about resurrection. "Dying is dying, even if you resurrect." It's a bug at the corner of his mind, he doesn't pay it any attention. He gets resurrected multiple times, he is gratefull he is alive. But seeing all his friends dead? And the most of them mutilated? Covered in their own blood? He has this desire to mourn. To cry the loss. To panic. "They are all dead."

He knows they'll come back. He has to make them come back. So he does. And they are alive. But they weren't a few seconds ago. And he just plays it off, he puts his calm face on as soon as there is another party member alive that could ask him what happened that it disturbed him so much. He throws all those sad feelings under the rug and focuses at the task at hand.

They're going to be ok, he just has to do his job: bring them back from death. They shouldn't even be dead. But they are. And he's going to fix it. No point on feeling sad about them dying if they can be alive soon!

I think the concern that the anime puts here it's something that could come close to what he feels inside. Those seconds are the only ones we see him looking something akin to worried for his friends.

But then...

His worry vanishes in seconds. The moment Kabru revives, he does it in such a "Kabru" way, that he tells himself: "This is fine, they're going to be back soon, nothing to worry about, I just have to hurry". He wants them all back to live. We know for sure that in his priority list there wasn't any "reviving Toshiro's party members first". He was going to make sure all his party, all his friends, were alive before even thinking of resurrecting other people if he still had the magic.

Those three panels they didn't animate are something that was there for a reason. To give depth to Holm. This last episode is definitely the one in wich he shines the most. He isn't the main character at all this episode, but he does the most important stuff on the background. He revives them all. This all lack of something if you don't show what Kuy drew on those panels.

Here he just... goes to work. He says: "lemme handle it" and he does. No concern, no worry, no, nothing. He just does. No thoughts.

It makes me sad. Those panels were important. :(

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #holm #holm kranom #holm dungeon meshi #kabru #kabru of utaya #and those are mentioned only: #mickbell dungeon meshi #rin dungeon meshi #daya dungeon meshi #kabru dungeon meshi #kuro dungeon meshi #i was waiting to see this scene in specific #i've been robbed #from Chilchuck's map scene and Holm pausing scene #i hate it here #:( #i love Holm too much not to make a gigant ass post about him knowing Holm Nation maybe doesnt even know this and doesnt know we were robbed #holm nation #awaken #see the crimes that were made against us #and post about him to get more people join our files!!!!! #holm nation!!!!! #holm supremacy #welp #meh #my shit

[aromantic-diaries]

Honestly I'm glad that the aro community is moving from "we still love our friends and family we're not heartless!" to "we don't need to make up for our lack of romantic attraction with other forms of love" because yeah, our platonic and/or familial relationships are not romance-lite or a substitute for romantic love and a lot of aros reject the idea of love altogether. So yeah fuck trying to appeal to alloromantic people with the whole "we swear we're normal" thing. I don't need to make sense to anyone

Either you accept me as I am whether you understand me or not or you leave me the fuck alone

#aro #aromantic #arospec #not to mention my already existing struggle with connecting to people which was a problem before i even knew i was aro #and probably isn't related to it and has more to do with my history of rocky friendships full of dissapointment and letdowns #so my lack of romantic feelings are not to blame for my antisocial tendencies #of course there definetly are aros who are lonely souls like me and their aromanticism is connected to that but guess what #they don't owe you shit either and are not ''proof'' that aromanticism is miserable and lonely #those of us who are alone are not ''proof'' that we're incomplete without romance

[ruporas]

special operatives (silly interaction beneath read more)

[ID: Digital Art in color of Trigun Maximum, characters included are Wolfwood, Elendira, and Legato in a casual meeting situation. The piece consists of orangey yellow lighting and purple shadows. Wolfwood sits on the left side, facing Elendira who’s on the right. He’s seated on a plain wooden chair with one knee up and he’s holding the strap to his Punisher in his left hand while his right sits against his thigh, He has an irritated expression as he speaks to Elendira. Elendira is sitting in a fancier seat, her right arm rests against Wolfwood’s propped up knee, her left hand holds her suitcase. She’s sitting cross legged with an amused expression. Legato can be seen in the back at the center of the image in his mobile body case, one of his eyes shown to be glaring at Wolfwood. End ID]

[ID: Sketch, uncolored comic. Elendira says to Wolfwood, “I’m not telling you to dedicate yourself to him, but just accept the situation at hand. We could get along better if we were on the same page.” Wolfwood responds, “Don’t peg me me for an optimist. I’m not dumb. But, I’m also not going to just live in resignation. Plus, I don’t have any interest in getting along with ya.” Elendira coos, “Aw, you sure? I have a wonderful shoulder to cry on when the weak people you’re trying to protect eventually dies in the coming months. Though, I guess it’s fine. Someone like you might just die before then anyway...” She snickers in her hand while Wolfwood is speechless and just glares. Legato is faintly drawn in the back, glaring at Wolfwood, muttering “worthless” repetitively. End ID]

#trigun #trigun maximum #nicholas d wolfwood #elendira the crimsonnail #legato bluesummers #YES they were together in scene canonically for only 1 Measly chapter. Yes legato dipped like 2 seconds later but listen #trigun has such a fun cast and such a vague sense of time that i love to just throw in whatever Chances of the gung hos meeting outside of #canonic time... i mentioned before but i do think ww just runs into them on occasion from town to town #this illust would have to take place after the remembrance of july though ofc since that was when ww first saw elendira... which is still #the funniest ww ever bc he was so Shocked. LIKE AGHAST... BC IT WAS ELENDIRA THE CRIMSONAIL. he was starstruckk it was so cute #elendira of all people deserve that kind of reaction though im glad that they hyped it up with ww of all people. bc its like wow even ww is #kind of intimidated! even though he gained his grips like 5 seconds later to talk back to her. which is why i think theyd have a funny #dynamic. and legato is just there. he does not care about them but he also hates them and it's fun to think about how that'd extend to #wolfwood after knives specifically left the gung hos up to him and then explicitly didnt say shit after giving ww a special little mission #it also is just like. legato is pretty passive in trimax until someone is actively betraying knives or when its vash #and ww also does not give a shit about legato bc he also is like. vaguely aware he'd lose in a fight. so all i make them do is stare at each #other passive aggressively. TRISTAMP on the otherhand is ridiculously insane for making legato genuinely hold enough aggression towards ww #to literally activate his character arc in the season sgmkdsgm cannot wait for final phase where legato not only deeply detest vash but also #bears a similar aggression towards ww. actually im not sure whether i should be Excited for that or not but it would be an interesting #ruporas art

[backwzzds]

don’t know how many times i gotta say this…I LOVE BLACK WRITERS AND EVERYTHING WE DO !! WE’RE REALLY THE SHIT IM NOT EVEN SORRY ABOUT THAT !! AINT NOBODY ELSE GOT ME TWIRLING MY FEET, KICKING SCREAMING INTO MY MATTRESS AND GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC WHEN READING X BLACK READER FICS IDCIDC.

TS SO GOOD, BLACK WRITERS ARE SUCH A GIFT I WANNA CRY I LOVE US BAD

#lora’s shit talk! ੈ✩‧₊˚ #yall need to be nicer to us !!! #no one bringing better entertainment than us #like every time i see a bonnet acrylic nails or even braids mention #IM SCREAMING BITCH #black writers deserve better

[xabura]

Bryke confirming that Katara loves Aang like a "babysitter" or a "little brother" is fucking killing me. Kataang shippers are always screaming about how if you think Kataang have a sibling-like dynamic then you are delusional but even the creators viewed their bond like that.

#anti kataang #i can't say i'm surprised though since the mommy girlfriend trope is such a massively common straight male fantasy #people on tiktok still pushing the zutara are siblings allegations only to then claim zutara weren't even friends lol #but mention that kataang reminds you of siblings and they absolutely lose their shit #atla #avatar: the last airbender

[moondal514]

Those Andreil au fics from Neil’s pov that are like Neil pining for Andrew in the most repressed way possible (because for whatever reason it never occurs to him that Andrew could ever be into him) while Andrew has it down bad for Neil so obviously that literally everyone except Neil knows it (without Andrew having even said anything to anyone about it of course) fill my soul so much for real

#I love that shit so much #want to mention though #repressed pining is different from oblivious pining #though they can manifest in similar ways #oblivious pining is genuinely not realizing that you’re into someone #whereas repressed pining is knowing that you’re into someone but fighting tooth and nail with yourself to not acknowledge it #for Neil oblivious pining tends to be the fandom norm #but I think it’s more in-character for him to be repressed pining #a good chunk of aftg is Neil refusing to entertain for even a second the thought that he could be into Andrew #because neil thinks he’s gonna be dead by the end of the year #which the fandom often interprets as neil not knowing he’s into andrew #which is a valid interpretation too #but I’m getting off topic 😂 #aftg #moonie posting

[rottentiger-art]

Peeta antis (yea, they exist) love to call him a stalker and stuff, but they forget they were BOTH looking at each other from afar and keeping track.

Let's not pretend they're not both co dependant and weird about the other thru the series, Peeta just fell first

#everlark #i'll defend my boy to death #even katniss was like “shit maybe I know a little too much about him hope he doesnt mention it” #theyre both simultaniusly that “your room isnt big enough for a king” scene from YOU #Simultaneously* #theyre both weird about each other but theyve gone thru a lot so no one mentions it and lets them be

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

ever lovely, wonderful, and most talented miss/mr anonymous what are ur thoughts on drawing satoshoko in this way 👀? (if u graciously decide to take this request on pls pls pls choose the 1st one 😭)

I had a sketch started a while ago that I never finished. It's not exactly what you asked for but I hope you still like it. I'm glad i picked it up again, I'm a sucker for clingy!Satoru and I think if anybody would let Gojo relax like that without finding him annoying or obnoxious it would be Shoko

#i can see him storming into the infirmary #annoying the shit out of shoko #rambling and rambling and rambling #while she moves around him finishes her stuff picks up a report takes off her lab coat and sits down #and without any words spocken she pats her lap and satoru silently tail wags as he walks over to sit on the ground #she places the labcoat around him puts one hand in his hair and for the rest of the evening he shuts up as he gets lulled to sleep #shoko gets to do her work and he gets the rest he needed #puzzle pieces IM TELLING YOU #satoshoko #satosho #shoko ieiri #gojo satoru #jjk #fanart #also i just gotta mention that mr/mrs anonymous sent my fucking rolling with laughter #thank you for that

[whiskeyswifty]

surprise song o'clock is fun and all, but nothing will match the utter chaos madness confusion of the 1989 tour surprise guest each night. for one, she was at the height of her popularity up until then and would sometimes bring out the most confounding people, fully out of left field people she'd never spoken to before in her life and you could never predict who it would be. and another, there were no live streams so you were at the mercy of someone in the stadium barely coherent as they tried to post who just walked out. all you could do is read the most insane guest announcement from a url that looks like a swiftie bot and you think, surely, no... she didn't bring out fetty wap... this is fake. but the third thing is that text posts barely made it up due to stadium wifi being powered by a rat on a hamster wheel but photos or god forbid a video wouldn't make it, so even if a text post made it, you had no proof. which was even more chaos inducing given the wild shit people were claiming they were witnessing. you couldn't verify anything until 3 am that night when someone finally got home and uploaded a blobby, overexposed iphone 6 photo and you get confirmation that holy shit, it actually was fetty wap. taylor swift singing about making cocaine in her kitchen with mr. trap queen himself holy fucking shit, well okay then!! then you gotta do it all again the next night.

#this isn't even taking into account the style runway companions she sometimes had like WHO?!??!? #HOW DOES SHE KNOW THEM?!?!?!? #wildest shit ever just really amazing stuff and we all didn't sleep properly for an entire summer #not to mention my show which gave me an aneurysm i think #i cannot speak of the 1989 tour times without going a little bit insane

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you? #gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway............. #somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing...... #this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now.... #juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

[milimeters-morales]

another reason why Hobie can’t stand Miguel’s ass

#miles morales #spiderman #spider man #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #spider man 2099 #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman atsv #m&m posts #shit does that count as spoilers? probably ffs i’ll put it at the end of the tags #spoilers mentioned -> #i originally was gonna do gwen being dragged into the fight but there were issues #bc if you replaced miles with hobie it wouldn’t make sense seeing as his parents aren’t in his life #even if he let her stay with him for some months

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

[front-facing-pokemon]

#spinda #AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky #whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct #ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way #have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby #ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚ #but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in #shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun #i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café #which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing #it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around #and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere #nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately #not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever #their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig #shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!