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#this is the best friend who is bi not the best friend who is straight or the roommate who is straight

my-castles-crumbling · 2 days

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I have a problem Cas… I think im in love.

Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this.

I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life.

So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone.

Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex).

So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).

And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.

Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).

So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real.

BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest.

But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).

And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.

I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar.

We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start.

It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food.

We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.

So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet.

(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue.

She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white.

It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on.

We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same).

So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm.

She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes.

But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell.

But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last.

My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed.

I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.

All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.

(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess)

But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.

I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday.

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments.

One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day.

Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.

The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦‍♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).

Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have.

So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️

Hi <3

If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.

Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.

If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.

As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.

Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.

God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).

I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.

#ask #asks #ask cas #purple anon

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 6 months

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SPOILER for Flight of Icarus, I guess. It's really fucking good. I'm hoping that at this point, Eddie's sexuality remains ambiguous because people are focusing on it way too much. Hell, his best friend Ronnie might be a lesbian. WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT? She could also just be asexual and aromantic. There are so many possibilities, and people are ignoring it.

I'm reading Flight of Icarus, and I am halfway through. It's compelling. It's very Eddie, and once again, Eddie being interested in women does NOT make him straight. Bisexuals and pansexuals exist. But this isn't about his sexuality and if you guys stop focusing on that for one minute, you'll realize this is about Eddie and his journey about how he got where he is. Why he thinks so low of jocks, why he got into selling drugs. This is how he flew too close to the sun to try to be a Rockstar, and he tried hard not to be like his father, how he tried so hard to clear his family name. If you look close enough, there are crumbs where he might be into men, but he's deeply closeted, and it's probably because of the way the town treats him. Just because he's been with women doesn't mean that he isn't queer. I didn't realize I was BISEXUAL until much later. I've always thought that it was Eddie, and that might be the case. So say it with me just because he's interested in women, doesn't mean he's not queer. Fucking stop it with the bi erasure and the pan erasure. SPOILER: In the book, he flirted with a male cop and he made a point of noticing jocks muscles. So, yeah, I don't think he knows, and I, 100% think Steve was his awakening.

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #bisexual eddie munson #pansexual eddie munson #its weird how some people assume he's straight because he's been with women #why are you just assuming he's straight?#gareth is adorable #there's a name for the unnamed freak #there's a girl member of Hellfire who's eddie's childhood best friend and who might just be a lesbian #so many gold nuggets and people are chosing to bitch over the fact eddie fucking munson likes women #please don't ever tell me that bi erasure and pan erasure isn't real

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the-hopeless-haze · 1 year

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I just wanna say something because I think people’s views of things are warped. Like in a world where STILL only 1 out of every 5 movies have an lgbt character … and everyone’s life has at least one lgbt person in it. like it’s 2023 and people are judging media from like 20 years ago and not giving it the credit it deserves for even getting us to this point.

We can rightfully criticize House MD for many things but the fact that in 2004/2005 in S1&S2 they had multiple patients of the week that were gay or bi (not implied either way). And no one used it as a joke or a punchline (except the mafia one but it was mostly house being an asshole per usual “he’s not gay but certainly delightful” and the point at the end of the episode was his brother was an asshole for not accepting him) and part of the main cast that was bisexual. But to me like having the patients of the week be in gay relationships and it be normalized and no one say anything about it being odd IN 2005, almost 20 years ago, did a lot. Like these patients are supposed to be from a slice of life perspective like their lives got disrupted and ultimately I’m glad they didn’t have it always be from a straight perspective and that it wasn’t treated any differently than a straight person.

Also a lot of people like to badmouth Glee and yes it was terrible for bisexual representation but the fact that we got a teenage boy kissing his boyfriend on network tv in 2009 before gay marriage was legalized was again… a huge step. And that was actually a pretty diverse cast regardless

I just think that people need to put stuff in perspective with older media ESPECIALLY ones that were trying to do something. Of course they fell flat by today’s standards but it was 15-20 years ago, they should because we should try to be better. And fun fact they’re still better than 80% of media out there today because 80% of media doesn’t even bother to have any representation at all

#lgbt #lgbtq representation #lgbtq #lgbtqia #house Md #glee #idk like house and glee suck in a lot of ways but glee especially made so many kids feel safe #and I would say house being able to joke about himself being gay and be that secure in his sexuality (whatever you believe it is) is good #that statistic was wild to me like how can we say anything about representation #for the record I don’t think necessarily that every movie should have a main character who is gay or bi or trans #(although why is it ok if they’re straight)#but like I said everyone’s life has at least ONE lgbt person in it #whether they’re their best friend or a distant acquaintance they exist #so to have it only be 20% of films is disgusting #we’re a long way from good. but house was doing better than some shows today sooooo #do with that what you will

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aroacedavestrider · 1 year

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Trans women talking about misogyny doesn’t mean they hate trans men, cry harder to ur terf friends

good job dipshit youve successfully demonstrated to the class what the strawman fallacy is. how is it that youre able to recognize that trans women talking about transmisogyny isnt an attack on trans men but not vice versa

you really gotta be plugging your ears and ignoring the shit out of trans men if you think that anybody with a brain is arguing what youre accusing us of lmao. which lemme check my Transandromisia List, oh shit

talking over us, erasure of our experiences, purposeful misconstruing to make us out as the Bad Guys (thats you!)

calling us terfs and grouping us in with actual dangerous oppressors (also you!)

othering us in some us vs. them type bullshit (you did that!)

dogg i dunno how to tell you this but youre an s-tier example of why trans men are fed up to the point where theres a brand sparkly new movement that pisses you off. maybe youre pressed cause were trying to dismantle the oppression olympics and you think youre winning. too bad sunshine, nobodys a fucking winner when it comes to any flavor of transphobia. pull your head out of your terminally online ass and go interact with somebody. go think about why trans men discussing their struggles is such a fucking issue for you

#and while youre at it shut the fuck up #you probably would have been an aspec exclusionist in 2018 lmao #or someone who insisted that bi people have no place in the lg*b*t+ community cause they can pass as straight and have straight privilege #ill give you a hint. bi people are not straight and will never have straight privilege #just like how trans men will never be cis and we will never benefit from that privilege #youre a class a discourse slurping shit stirrer and nobody irl and / or over the age of 25 will ever take you seriously #additionally wow thats crazy if im a terf. i didnt know terfs cared so much about trans men (sarcasm.)#wow i had no idea we were on the same side and we all respected each others identities (they want us dead.)#thats nuts that terfs are advocating for trans men (they call us traitors.)#clearly the terfses and the transmascses are best friends and are conspiring against the transfemses (they want to eliminate *all* of us.)#youre a fucking idiot. dont even stay mad. just shut up #delete later #transphobia #transandromisia #transandrophobia

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theidiotabides · 1 year

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I started to pull away, but then I hesitated. It was a strange moment, because right then I realized what I was doing. It hit me. This tiger was becoming part of me. All that power and confidence was becoming part of me.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" I said.

I expected Marco to say something sarcastic. But he said, "Yes. He's magnificent."

-#1: The Invasion

Listen. LISTEN.

You know that trope where one character goes "isn't this a beautiful sunset?" and then the other character looks directly at them instead of at the sunset and says "Yes." ?????

This is Marco doing that to Jake, about Jake's battle morph, and god I have so many feelings about it

#jakemarco #marco animorphs #animorphs #animorphs meta #jake berenson #jake and marco #my personal headcanon is that Jake is bi-grayromantic and Marco actually does have a shot post-canon #like I get why people read him as cishet but as a grayromantic who only noticed I was bi in my 30s I find him DISTURBINGLY RELATABLE #oh look there's my best friend Marco I would cease to function without him in my life nothing gay about that la la la #Jake only thinks he's straight because he doesn't have enough data yet #anyway I know I don't need to tell anybody that Marco is queer just look at the quote

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sapphos-chimera · 6 months

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Having the whole gay awakening thing 2 years post any relationship and socially isolated irl is the goddamn fucking worst. I am touch starved. I wake up horny every morning. My mind gets stuck in dead end anxious thought loops because I got back in contact with a friend from my teen years who is entangled with my sexuality, though I was too stupid to realise and I haven't heard from her in a day. I just want a friend. I know I'm just lonely and starved of contact but my brain runs off with the 'what if' potentials. Then I hate myself for it. Then that thought loop turns caustic. I tell myself that's why you haven't heard from her, you don't deserve her, you shouldn't be inserting yourself into anyone's life - you're a fucking mess. She's realised that - she's not busy she just hates you.

I know it's a lie my brain has used for so long. I know it's not true, or helpful, or practical. And I know it's why I've pushed everyone away over the years. This is how I learned not to want anything. Because wanting, having wishes and dreams? They fucking hurt.

It doesn't turn the feelings off though. I don't even know if I want a romantic relationship. I just don't want to be alone anymore.

#musings #lesbian #am I yearning right #she's an out lesbian by the way - not surprising given massive tomboy when I knew her as a kid #just ugh realising the constant connect-disconnect throughout our lives it'd read like a fanfic premise #she TEASED me as a five year old then at 12 we became best friends #went to different high schools then fell out of contact slowly #contacts me again when she's getting enaged to a girl and I tell her I'm bi and think i probably had a crush on her as a kid #but was too stupid to see it. we were both in long term relationships so we just laughed about it #I blew her off for the engagement party because i knew itd be too overwhelming but i couldn't remember the context #c-ptsd has made my memory foggy for that entire time #she was the one dropped contact I always regretted and then I started panicking that I hurt her #so I contacted her and she tells me she broke UP with that woman shortly after?#the gremlin in my brain is running around trashing the fucking place with unsavoury thoughts and I want to shove that fucker back in its box #I DON'T WANT TO BE WEIRD. I JUST WANT A FUCKING FRIEND IRL. WHO ISNT STRAIGHT. FUCK.#ventpost #nsft

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