#this is so bpd of me lol

[ace-no-isha]

feeling deeply unlovable and then remembering that luffy could love you no matter how horribly damaged you are is a lot of emotions

#mixed emotions of how comforting luffy is as a person and grieving that it’s not possible irl #but also not having limitless mental strength for your loved ones is normal luffy is a fantasy character for a reason #and it’s not just cus he’s a rubber man #just a little heartbroken nothing new #this is so bpd of me lol #i can say that now with my chest cus it’s going into my chart #but yeah no. i’m clinging to this piece of comfort idc it’s been an awful week and i’m so tired #and luffy’s warmth is the only thing i want to come home to right now #my sunrise #he makes me believe in living #just straight up living and staying alive #and lord knows some days it’s hard #luffy is a miracle #cus genuinely when there’s nothing left luffy will still be here #luffy i miss you #vent blog #close ur eyes lol this is so normal of me

[hancocksleftnut]

Some Charon Head Cannons I Finally have the Balls to Share:

He was a US Green Beret captured in Anchorage by Chinese and Russian Special Forces in 2076, 11 months before the Great War and had many experiments done on him while a POW.

He was deployed at 28, one of the youngest in his squad. Charon was born in Pennsylvania and came from a military background, later joining the US Army at 19, soon after the USA announced war against the Republic of China.

In the end, he would be the only survivor from his squad, all others having been executed or dying from the Dachau-Level experiments.

As tensions around the world heightened, the US government burned all records of him and his squadron, considering them casualties of war.

As a POW (Prisoner of War) his physical stature, mental fortitude, and expert combat training made him a candidate for a “Reprograming Operation” by the Russian KGB where he was the only successful test subject.

After months of brainwashing he was finally assigned to a KGB Spy who was planted in the US government, where he was designed to assassinate and perform other reconnaissance operations.

However, the Great War broke out mere months after he was “assigned” and his contract made many unfortunate passes before reaching the Lone Wanderers.

Charon’s previous employers all had dark, ulterior motives that mainly used him as a deviant errand boy. When he becomes employed by the LW, he almost feels at peace. Though he will forever live with PTSD, he is able to put his guard down in certain circumstances, giving him small glimpses of joy and happiness again.

Until he becomes to care too much, and becomes over protective. The LW unknowingly reminds him of his pre-war life. When there was still hope and a dream of change. He doesn’t know why, but he clings to their selflessness. He watches people abuse the LW’s kindness, and then get stuck in a cycle of people pleasing because they are the Wastelands Last Hope.

#so imma just come back from the dead on this shit cause my love for this ghoul baby man will never die #also I come from a heavy military background so that’s kinda why this is my head cannon. my dad was 82nd airborne and we both played FO3 #we even took a weekend trip to travel all the places in DC as the game #anyways lol #I love Charon so much and even though I hate how vague they wrote him #I love we can use our own imagination #tell me what yall think!!! I love to talk about my big. baby man #Charon #charon fallout #ghouls #fallout headcanons #fallout companions #fallout ghoul #lone wanderer #fallout #fallout 3 #Charon headcannons #also this is written from my OC: Lone Wander Laila’s perspective #a 19 year old girl with BPD and tries to act like a bad ass but it just a mere worm #charon x lone wanderer

[bpdohwhatajoy]

#so fucking real #me core lol #bpd #borderline personality disorder #memes #lonely

[suburbanlegnd]

the sexual tension between me and relapse

#venting in the tags so be careful #being bipolar and bpd at the same time feels like the worst nightmare #the slightest inconvenience will send me into a fucking spiral #people have always been telling me either to “cheer up” or “go to a mental hospital because I'm fucked in the head” #i perfectly know I'm incapable and unworthy of love #I'm starting to doubt if I'm able to love the right way at all #but I'm so sick of toxic positivity #not everything's going to be alright #sometimes bad things happen #and not everyone is supposed to be cheerful and grateful all the fucking time #it's just so tiring and exhausting #they really dont realize how much toxic positivity is damaging and so naive #tw depressing thoughts #idk how to tag this lol #rambles #actually bpd #bpd vent

[townofcrosshollow]

#i know this one is dont dead open inside-ing #deal with it #this came from my therapy appointment today where i jokingly referred to my bpd as a tapeworm and my therapist loved it lol #it's not a part of me so much as it is inside me. and i'm gonna starve it #collage #my art

[dissociativemagicalgirl]

thinking further on my response and i do think CDDs can be a spectrum more than clear cut diagnostic criteria. like just in general. like just from what ive observed & what im reading (currently working on the haunted self!) i think theres a lot of overlap in symptoms between DID, OSDD, and even C-PTSD & BPD, which makes it harder to draw a line on whether certain presentations count as one disorder or another

it's an added layer of difficulty that theres so many different ways CDDs can present. i feel like every system i meet and every system i read about has its own unique ways of presenting, which im assuming is because it's a complex series of adaptations to very specific stimuli & circumstances. but like the variance in peoples' lived experiences makes it hard to make blanket statements about systems (or even like, alter archetypes, for example)

like theres just so many ways a system can look. some people know about their alters as early they can remember & experienced them as imaginary friends or voices. some people go 20, 30+ years without realizing theyre a system at all. theres polyfrag systems with layers upon layers of subsystems and complicated inner workings. theres people whose alters have only a passing awareness of each other. and so on. Individuals might share a diagnostic label, but there might be little overlap in how they experience being a system

anyways This is a lot of rambling that's straying into different territories.. sorry my mind may not be all here LOL

at it's core we are all experiencing various levels of structural dissociation ... unity 🤝

#borderline #i think changing diagnoses and/or comorbidity is common for us. So im not terribly concerned on whos using the 'right label' #When really diagnostic criteria arent set in stone. my perspective on this is probably at least partially informed by my experiences #being in the mental health system for a very long time & going through Most of the DSM-V LOL.. #in i hate you dont leave me. my copy is at my parents' house so i cant double check #But towards the beginning there's a list of how BPD has a lot of overlap with like. Most other disorders #i remember the phrase that BPD seems like it's on the of everything else #& i would not be surprised if other disorders related to complex trauma were similar as well - in that they can easily mask as other #disorders. & theres naturally going to be a lot of overlap with many other disorders #This went off topic but ^_^ if anyone has anything to say on the matter feel free to add on. not sure what the point of all this is LOL

[aesrot]

I had something to send you but then my friend distracted me and I came back to this page and saw I had an ask open and I really don't remember what I was gonna send to you.

I think its something about michael. Uhhh new thought:

hell yeah for the not a person kind of humanoid person representation, me fr

HELL YEAH BIG CHEER !!!!!! im a big fan of that, bc yeah, identity can be very,,,,,,,,, funky. exploring it can be very enlightening and fun, but it can be oh so very confusing and scary, especially when you dont know what to base anything off of (or like. when you feel like you shape yourself according to a situation and cant tell who you are outside of situations). it feels very freeing that we can explore other identity stuff. at least on online spaces

#i wanna ramble more but i cant tell what is relevant or not lol #bc the disorders affect on identity stuff for me in different ways #but idk if its the same way you mean #like the tism and the adhd make me feel SO. idk. different from other people. the way i think; behave; my interests; etc #i often feel childish next to other people irl #on the other hand the bpd makes me feel like i create a new persona for every person i meet. i feel like i have a persona for myself even #anywways did NOT mean to get into this sorry. but is any of this similar to what you meant? just trying to make sure i understand #lua answers #phantom my beloved

[werebutch]

I don’t really think much at all anymore about my last relationship but when bpd is brought up my mind goes to this immediate switch in my partner’s behavior when I finally told them I think I have bpd -__- I was always so careful to not come off as jealous of their friends (and I succeeded most of the time, but it was so insanely stressful inside) but as soon as I told them about bpd, they started acting as if I would get angry about them hanging out w people (and other stuff but mostly that)… which made everything worse. I remember the last straw for me was them going to fucking KNOTFEST with their bff and not even telling me. Acting like it’s a dark secret. Only found out cuz their mom talked about it. And I was like oh why didn’t you wanna tell me that sounds fun. And they’re like. You would get mad. Brother I had NEVER showed anger towards ANYTHING like that before because I was so scared of being unknowingly abusive 😭 what the helllll

#sowwie it still kind of bugs me. like it didn’t matter how I actually acted. once the words bpd left my mouth it was an instant switch #craaaazy. oh well LOL #doesn’t really matter anymore. peace and love #like it was constant them trying to cover up the most mundane things as if I was some violent predator. idk #I think it stuck with me so much cuz I put a lot of effort esp back then into not letting my insecurities affect my relationship. I was #scared shitless of that. and scared shitless of being harmful. sooo.

[theloversarcana]

Random Ann headcanons because I’m bored

♡An absolute menace while driving, please don’t put her behind the wheel

♡(She has a lot of road rage and is pretty reckless when it comes to driving)

♡Is very scared of ghosts but Shiho keeps trying to get her to use a ouija board in old abandoned buildings

♡Has breakdowns often and can immediately be calmed down by the promise of Ben&Jerrys Phish Food ice cream

♡On that note, is a massive crybaby

♡Beautiful Princess Disorder (ifykyk)

♡Has to wear fake eyelashes 24/7 and feels naked without them

♡When she has enough energy to do makeup but not enough to do a full face her essentials are: winged eyeliner, fake lashes+mascara, blush, a red lip and her fav Fenty highlighter (Diamond Bomb in Rosé Rave)

♡Her parents are rich and she has expensive taste in most things, constantly tries to give her friends money and buy them things but they always refuse

♡(As she gets older her parents slowly stop sending her money and she has to learn to fend for herself)

♡Flips back and forth between “I am the most beautiful person in the world” and “I am so ugly I hate myself and I want to break every mirror in my house” very often

♡Has an absurdly large collection of candles

♡Is very indecisive (and picky) about her signature fragrance. Has tried many, many perfumes but still hasn’t found the perfect one so she smells different almost every day

♡Really bad ADHD, has medication but always forgets to take it

♡Her absolute fav color is red and she has to have everything in red. Pink is second but red will always be #1

♡Sanrio girlie through and through

♡Loves binging shitty reality tv shows like Too Hot to Handle, Jersey Shore, Say Yes to the Dress, and any Gordon Ramsey shows

♡Her guilty pleasure food is Chik-Fil-A (pretending Japan has it)

♡Her main music taste is 2000s-2010s pop (Ke$ha, Britney Spears, etc) but has a very large variety of music she likes

♡Her go-to breakdown song is What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish (also she cried at least 4 times during the Barbie movie)

♡Shiho loves going to antique stores and trying to buy cursed objects which upsets Ann GREATLY

♡(A real interaction that happened) Shiho: *holding a crowbar* This object has really intense energy.. you think someone murdered someone with it? Ann: DONT YOU DARE THINK ABOUT BUYING THAT

♡Was a Legend of Zelda girlie as a kid and still loves the series. Zelda is one of her biggest kins

♡Mean girls is her favorite movie

♡Is a practicing pagan* with Hecate as her patron goddess

♡*I say practicing lightly because she often completely forgets about it and is terrible at keeping up with holidays, routines, rituals etc

♡Has a drinking problem

♡Vomits incredibly easily, accidentally vomited on Shiho once

♡Listens to true crime podcasts while doing her makeup

♡Uses said true crime podcasts for ideas for her plan in her head to murder Kamoshida and get away with it

♡Besides Zelda her other favorite franchises are Barbie, Studio Ghibli, Sailor Moon and Monster High

♡Ryan Gosling is her celebrity crush and she especially fell in love with him after seeing him as Ken

♡Is definitely dating Shiho but could also be dating Ryuji, Futaba and/or Goro (everyone loves her)

♡She is besties with Akira (though this is very specific characterization of Akira who is transfem and straight)

♡They’re strictly best friends but they have no boundaries. They will take baths together or make out because they’re bored and lonely

♡Had to cut her hair to a bob once because her split ends were getting so bad and she cried for a week

♡Is INCREDIBLY protective of her friends and will drop anything to help them. Has been the shoulder people cried on many, many times

#I know some people are offended by the beautiful princess disorder thing but it’s a joke I have BPD and humor is my coping mechanism #these are all hyper-specific because I’m an ann fictive and this is all just shit about Me lol #I know I’ve mentioned I’m an ann fictive like 50 times on this blog in the past week or so but I do not care ♥️ #also sorry it’s so long oops!! #ann takamaki #persona 5 #p5

[spacemancharisma]

guy who’s sitting in their hotel room having a Certified BPD Moment so severe they aren’t gonna get dinner with everyone else

#I feel so justified and I Know that’s the disorder talking #but I feel so reasonable rn hfbfjg #like why is everyone else not as angry as me lol #personal #bpd

[pupcuck]

#hate when people talk ab me like im problematic like brother im just ill #like like esp when they’re grown lol like im trying hard not to get my feelings hurt but tumblr is so cliquey it makes me upset like why f #does it feel like school all over again it should not feel that way!! it’s not that deep it’s the internet #cherry purposely attracts attention I don’t ask to get hated on trust #tw vent #it’s just like idk why do grown people make things so deep like omg a girl isn’t allowed to complain I got bpd im a chronic complainer

[bpdohwhatajoy]

Do you genuinely get saddened because you feel like your capacity for love is so deep meanwhile everyone around you seems to love shallowly?

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #it just sucks like I don’t want peoples shallow love #and I feel like so many people I’ve known say they love but their loves seems so ??? artificial??? surface level??? #me w my fuckass poets soul or whatever #kinda a curse lol

[mergaliscious]

you armchair diagnose everyone you hate with NPD, I armchair diagnose beloved characters with NPD. we are not the same.

#doctor who #i'm talkin abt the doctor #especially 12 (my fav) but honestly most iterations of the doctor fit the criteria #not 13 tho #as far as intelligence she's just self aware and as far as morals she has the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair #also all of them are autistic and at least 11 has ADHD #oh and amy has BPD and river has ASPD #and I'm saying this as an auDHD cluster B so if anyone accuses me of fetishization or some shit I'm just gonna block u lol

[hazbinsinners]

;; my angel has borderline personality disorder and it heavily impacts his relationships, both present and past, as well as the way he views relationships as a whole. for him, when he truly loves someone, he puts himself entirely aside. he doesn't matter at all in the relationship, for as long as that love lasts. for example, even if he really loves someone, he'll allow them to use him like one of his clients do. if all they ever want is a quick fuck and some small talk, he'll allow it, because he loves them, and having them in small ways is better than not having them at all.

yes it hurts. a lot. but it'd hurt more to be alone and without them.

it's also why things with valentino go as far and as bad as they did. angel was in love with val for a long time, and gradually, he let val do whatever he wanted to him. eventually that took a turn, and when the infatuation finally broke, it was too late for angel to get out.

#a loser honey ;; headcanons #;; by the way i have bpd before anyone tries to come at me and say that idk what i'm talking about or -- #;; that i'm not allowed to give a character a disorder i'm not familiar with #;; i've been diagnosed since i was 18 i'm very aware of it and i see a lot of my traits in angel so #;; yeah ! here it is lol #;; ooc

[hpd--ena]

me when multiple of my irls tell me that they can diagnose me with several mental disorders 🤪

#hoshiis misc. #I found this so funny to me. we took a quiz to see what disorders we had and my borderline was at a 90% #and I asked them if I acted like I had bpd and they said yeah 😭 #and my avpd was at 94%!!!!! #a lot of my friends think I have social anxiety lol. I definitely think so

[fallenfawnn]

..

#saw a psychiatrist for the very first time earlier this week #it was like.. fine? idk.. is just weird #i feel like i can never say what i want to say how i want to say it and i feel like i forget so much and get so fawn-response at the doctor #idkkkk #he told me i have BPD which like okay i mean no surprise to me i have known i for the criteria for 10 years now lol #but for some reason that being the first thing he landed on annoyed me lol #especially after he told me i don’t meet criteria for PTSD which fine i guess.. it’s wayy more CPTSD which isn’t a diagnosis here sooooo #anyways anyways #i hope in the future maybe i have the courage to bring up autism but like.. eh. #in this first appt he already seemed confused by why i was struggling so much to take care of myself but can maintain #my high-demand technical ‘smart person’ job #to which i said that is the *only* thing i can maintain at the detriment to everything else in my life #anywaysssss #i just cant tell if i were to bring up autism if he would be the type to “’i have a masters degree and maintain a job and AFAB so no’ #‘it’s just the BPD’ #as if bpd and complex trauma and autism don’t all intensely overlap and hold hands lol #ANYWAYS #first ate i guess is at least i have a psychiatrist now #and m proud of myself for that and for going