#this is not proofread aside from being half written for 10 months

[oliviaischillin1204]

Do you take requests? If so, would you consider doing an Intruality fic? Both as switches, preferably, but i just think it’s a really underrated and cute ship, and you’d do such a good job at it

the one where Remus bugs Patton

Pairings: Romantic Intruality

Word Count: 2,661 words

Warnings: references to bugs being used to tickle the lee-- no actual bugs are involved, but there’s a lot of talk about them

ok. this has been a WIP since May 30, 2020, so if it feels disjointed... that’s why lmao. ALSO i’m using this as a response for a prompt from September 17, 2020, which was not my plan, but hey, why not! 

also, please don’t comment about how long it’s taking me to write again, even as a joke. thank you!

It’s one of Patton’s favorite games to play with Remus.

Well, it’s not really a game, technically, because they both end up as winners, in Patton’s opinion. Whenever either of them wants some affection, they just have to go up to the other and request whatever kind of kiss they want. Sweet one, gross one, funny one-- part of the fun was coming up with increasingly random kiss requests, and seeing what the other one would respond with.

It was especially fun to play their game in front of other people (whose reactions range from overdramatic catcalling to overdramatic gagging), but then there were moments like this-- late at night, cuddled together in Patton’s bed, perfectly comfy and warm and content-- that it was just another way for the two of them to shower each of in love.

“Quick one?” Patton asked quietly, not wanting to break the calm spell they’d found. Remus immediately responsed, leaning over to press a chaste kiss to Patton’s lips. Even that short touch felt electric to Patton, and he squirmed his legs happily at the feeling.

“Slow one,” Remus requested next, wrapping Patton even tighter in his arms. Patton smiled, tilting his head upwards and recapturing his boyfriend’s lips in a deep kiss. He could feel Remus’ smile against him, his hand coming up to brush through Patton’s hair.

The kiss left Patton feeling a little lightheaded, but that certainly didn’t stop him from continuing the game.

“Soft one.”

The two connected again, their lips just barely grazing each other before coming together in a gentle touch. It stayed like that for an indeterminate amount of time, and Patton thought there was no better feeling in the world than Remus’ warmth against him.

They pulled back, and Patton sighed happily, gazing up at Remus with a content gaze.

Remus’ eyes gleamed. “Sexy one!”

Patton blushed. He sighed fondly, but he still craned his head around to better face his boyfriend. The two shared a just-this-side-of-decent kiss before they pulled away, Patton giving Remus’ lower lip a quick nip as they parted.

“You always ask for that one,” he said, hoping his flustered state wasn’t too noticeable.

Judging from the way Remus’ smile turned teasing, he wasn’t so lucky. “Only because you blush so pretty when I do, creampuff!”

Patton giggled, turning away to hide his deepening blush. “Oh, hush, you--”

“What? It’s true, dumpling! It makes you look sweeter than candy! And you taste better, too.”

“Shush!” Patton insisted, bapping Remus’ chest and fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands. Remus merely laughed, shifting a little so he could hold Patton with his back against Remus’ chest.

“You’re blushing ‘cause it’s true,” he crooned in Patton’s ear. The moral side huffed a giggle at his boyfriend’s antics. He turned to give him the stinkeye.

“Meanie.”

Remus shrugged. “You gonna take your turn, or what?”

Patton humphed, but as he watched Remus smile in profile, he got a new idea into his head.

“Butterfly kiss!”

He craned his head to the side, getting as close to Remus’ face as possible, and rapidly fluttered his eyelashes against his cheek.

Immediately Remus squeaked, jerking his head away. He shot Patton a wide-eyed look.

“What the-- what? Butterfly what?”

Patto blinked, surprised by Remus’ confusion. “A butterfly kiss?”

Remus quirked his head at him. “Do... butterflies kiss people?”

A beat, and then an amused laugh escaped Patton’s lips. “Oh my goodness, you’re adorable.” He caught one of Remus’ hands in his own, and slowly lifted it up to his face.

“This is a butterfly kiss.”

Patton quickly fluttered his eyes against the back of Remus’ hand, gently grazing his eyelashes along the skin. Remus’ fingers twitched on reflex, but he seemed to be trying to stay as still as possible.

“Who the hell came up with that?”

Patton shrugged, kissing the back of Remus’ hand before dropping it. “I don’t know, butterfly scientists? I think it’s just because it tickles a little.”

Remus hummed noncommitally, and Patton let the comfortable silence overtake them again. He was only slightly surprised a few minutes later when Remus announced, “My turn!”

Patton smiled, sitting up slightly in Remus’ grasp. “Ready!”

“Bumblebee kiss!”

Patton paused, tilting his head in confusion.

“I haven’t heard of that one,” he admitted, but fell silent as Remus lifted his hand and extended one pointer finger.

Patton stared at the finger. It wiggled in a friendly manner.

“Remus--?”

“Bzzzzzzzzz...”

Patton cut himself off as Remus began making a quiet buzzing noise, changing pitch and volume as his finger began floating closer and closer to Patton’s stomach.

Patton’s eyes widened, and he tried to wiggle out of Remus’ grasp to no avail. “Wait!”

Remus didn’t wait. “Bzzzzzzzzz-- mwah!”

All in one moment, Remus’ buzzing cut off as he poked Patton’s tummy pudge with his buzzing finger, pressing a quick kiss to his neck at the exact same time. Patton gasped, letting a shocked snicker escape his mouth.

“You’re so silly--” he started, but Remus merely lifted the finger yet again.

“Bzzzzzzzzz...”

The finger began to spiral, this time heading towards Patton’s ribcage. His giggles began building up in his chest, but Patton felt frozen in place as he watched the finger drift closer.

“Bzzzzzzzzz-- mwah!” Remus darted into Patton’s ribs, wiggling his finger for a few seconds as he gave Patton another tickly kiss.

“Nahaha!” Patton protested at the extra tickles Remus was giving him, shoving his torso in the other direction to escape his wiggling finger. “No no no, don’t!”

He had very little hopes of his boyfriend listening to his request (not that Patton minded-- he loved how fun Remus’ silly moods were) but his expectations were confirmed as Remus pulled his hand back, only to begin swirling the one pointer finger ominously slowly.

“Bzzzzzzzzz...” he sang directly into Patton’s ear. The teasing inflection of his voice was so much worse now that Patton was already giggling, and he couldn’t stop himself from sucking his stomach in as far as he could.

“Remus!” he squealed, wiggling side to side and knowing it was pointless.

“Bzzzzzzzz-- mwah mwah mwah!” And with that, Remus let his ‘bumblebee’ land right in Patton’s bellybutton, wiggling rapidly and making Patton’s stomach jiggle. At the same time, he dove in to smother the back of Patton’s neck with kisses, letting his mustache just barely graze the sensitive skin.

Patton gasped and squealed at the same time. Dazed and giddy, he arched his back on reflex, only for his peals of laughter to heighten as he pushed Remus’ buzzing finger further into his tickle spot. He squealed even louder as he finally remembered-- oh, yeah, he has arms.

Immediately Patton’s hands shot down to push Remus’ tickling hand away from his stomach. Remus acquiesced easily, pulling his hand gently out of Patton’s tired grip and loosening his hold. He leaned back against the pillows; Patton couldn’t see him, but he knew his boyfriend had a very amused look on his face.

“Was that a good kiss, honeybee?” he asked sweetly. Patton giggled; now that the tickles were over, his face was flushing at how silly his boyfriend was being.

“No,” he said faux-petulantly, flopping back against Remus’ chest and crossing his arms (very casually protecting as much of his ticklish torso as he could). “No bug tickles.”

Behind him, Remus pretended to gasp indignantly. “Excuse me, I did not mean to tickle you! It’s not my fault you got all squirmy from a simple bumblebee kiss.”

Patton giggled again. In his still flustered state, the only retort he could find was, “I’m not that squirmy.”

Again, he could perfectly imagine the look of amused disbelief Remus was giving him now. “Uh, yuh huh you are, puddin’. You were wiggling all over like you had ants in your pants--”

His voice cut off, and although it only took Patton all of three seconds to catch up to his train of thought, it was too late.

Still, he whipped around as best as he could, making his voice as stern as possible as he said, “Remus, don’t you dare--”

“Too late!” Remus crowed gleefully. “Ant kisses for you!”

Right away his mouth was back against Patton’s neck, and Patton made his gasp-squeal noise again. He scrunched his neck to defend himself as much as possible, but it wasn’t until he felt fingers tappin the tops of his thighs that he realized what he should have been trying to defend.

“Oh, look at all the happy little ants here to give you kisses!” Remsu cheered, skittering and scratching all over the tops and sides of Patton’s thighs. “They just love to hear your sweet little giggles! Sweeter than ice cream melting at a picnic!”

His hands began alternating from fluttering against the outsides of Patton’s thighs, to haphazardly yet efficiently squeezing the insides. Patton kicked his legs madly against the tickling sensations, until Remus trapped one of his legs between his own and began running his leg hair across Patton’s calf and shin.

“Ants in your pants! Ants in your pants!” he sang quietly in between kisses. Patton rocked forwards as he weakly tried to pull Remus’ hands off of his thighs, but he was just a bit too distracted at the moment to manage it.

Luckily, he had the best boyfriend in the whole wide world, because Remus soon pulled back once again, letting Patton catch his breath as he rubbed away the phantom tingles from his skin.

“Mean, rude, evil...” he muttered under his breath with a voice full od love. Remus snickered, poking Patton once in the back and making him shoot ramrod straight.

“You liked them,” he teased. “You loved the ant kisses.”

Patton sighed, falling back against Remus’ chest once more.

“Maybe so,” he admitted. “Butterflies and bumblebees and ants-- they’re all very cute, but--”

“But just no spiders, right?” Remus finished immediately, wrapping his arms around Patton’s chest and placing a kiss on the back of his head. “I’ve got you, Pat-Pat.”

He fell back into a comfortable silence, but Patton was lost in thought. It was true-- whenever the two of them had some tickly fun together, the word ‘spider’ very specifically never came up. Patton had never asked, and he hadn’t had to: Remus was just sweet like that. Still...

He turned his head and nuzzled under Remus’ chin.

“Reemie?” he asked softly. When Remus hummed in response, Patton continued carefully.

“How would... how would a spider kiss go, do you think?” he asked, craning his neck up to look for Remus’ reaction.

A beat, and then he got it: Remus’ face shifted from confusion to elation in less than a second.

“Patty-bear!” he crooned, bouncing both of them in excitement. “You do love me!” He rocked Patton side to side, shocking another barrage of giggles out of him.

Then his voice shifted a little lower, leaning a little closer as he cooed, “And I know someone who loves you...”

Already patton could feel his heart seeding up again. He turned away from Remus, only to catch a glimpse of it: Remus’ right hand, in a perfect claw formation,

Patton made a choked noise, flapping his hands in anticipation. “Re-mus!”

“What?” Remus asked casually. “It’s not me! It’s just my friend, Mr. Spider.”

‘Mr. Spider’ waved at Patton, fingers wiggling mischievously in the air. Patton squeaked and covered his face, and immediately Remus tsked.

“No hiding, Mr. Mom...” he chided gently. “Mr. Spider just wants to show you how much he loves you!”

He gently grabbed Patton’s left wrist, and pulled his arm out straight to the side.

“Look at how many kisses he’s giving you!” he cooed, leaning over to smack a quick kiss onto Patton’s wrist. Then another, a little bit further up his arm, until he was pressing a row of tiny kisses all the way up Patton’s forearm. It wasn’t really tickly, but it was silly enough to make Patton laugh anyway.

Until Remus’ other hand, the one known as Mr. Spider, began spidering just above his left hip. Patton squeaked, jerking his arm in on impulse, but it stayed firm in Remus’ grasp, leaving his entire left side exposed for Remus’ spidering fingers.

“Remus-- Remus!”

Remus hummed in response, his mouth now pressed against the crook of Patton’s elbow while his fingers congregated on the dip of his waistline. The scratchy, fluttery feelings sent tingles all the way through Patton’s body, and he curled his toes on instinct as he exploded with giggles and squirmed as much as he could.

“Mr. Spider just loves you so much, Patty-doll...” Remus murmured into his elbow, nibbling just slightly enough to make Patton squeal. “He wants to give you so many little kisses all over!”

Faster than Patton could track, Remus’ hand moved up and down his side, nails tracing and crazing across the skin as delicately as possible. Patton squealed and squirmed and threw his body as farto the other side as possible.

“Nohohoho!” he begged in delight, bouncing his legs desperately. “Not thehehehere!”

He reached around with his other arm to belatedly block Remus’ spidering fingers. Of course, the move ended up being a very bad (or very good) idea: Remus easily grabbed Patton’s other wrist, and in one swift movement flipped them both around until Patton was flat on his back.

“Any lasts requests?” Remus questioned, staring him down from above. Patton blinked, cheeks flushed and heart pounding.

“Spider kiss,” he asked breathlessly, smiling up at Remus. “Please?”

Remus’ grin was bright and dangerous. Patton loved it so much.

And then that grin disappeared as Remus yanked up Patton’s shirt and dropped to press kisses against every inch of Patton’s stomach-- every inch where he wasn’t spidering all ten of his fingers across the hyper-sensitive skin, at least.

Patton’s shriek was immediate, back arching and stomach sucking in at the same time. Remus used both hands to spider from the center of Patton’s stomach, out to the sides; from there he let his lips fall to press kiss after tickly kiss against the skin, even blowing a raspberry or two (or three or five or eight) against the skin.

“Rehehehehe-mus!” Patton begged as Remus focused on one specific spot on his sides. “Plehehehe--”

“Please?” Remus asked, blowing another tiny raspberry against the spot. “Please what? Please more? More spider kisses?”

He paired each sentence with another wiggle of his spidering fingers; after each question, there was another tickly kiss against the softest parts of Patton’s tummy. His fingers crawled from his ribs to his sides to his tummy to his hips to the little bit of his back that he could reached.

Patton didn’t even know how long he was screaming in laughter and squirming in delight. All he knew was that Remus was eventually sitting back on his haunches, watching fondly as Patton’s laughter fell back into quiet giggles.

“All good?” he asked softly, patting Patton’s knee comfortingly. Patton coughed, nodded, and sat up until the two were sitting face to face.

“I think we need to call an exterminator,” he said hoarsely. “We’ve got a lot of bugs in here.”

Remus stared at him in silence. Patton stared back.

And then the two fell into laughter, leaning forward until their foreheads knocked, which only sent them further into laughter. Remus reached out and grabbed Patton’s hands, rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles.

“True love’s kiss,” he murmured softly, ducking his head as if he could hide the blush that was forming on his cheeks at the request. “Please.”

Patton hummed in consideration. “Well, normally I’d say yes right awya, but you did just get finished tickling the snot out of me--”

“And I’ll do it again,” Remus interjected, looking back up as he wiggled his fingers teasingly. “Unless you give me true love’s kiss right now.”

Patton smiled, leaning forward to give his boyfriend exactly what he asked for.

#Anonymous #my posts #my writing #tickling #tickle fic #tickle community #sanders sides tickling #the one where remus bugs patton #lee!patton #ler!remus #prompt #requested on september 17 2020 #this is not proofread aside from being half written for 10 months #also i definitely wanna do a reblog dump tomorrow ajsdhhsj i have so much stuff from the past couple weeks lmao

[chibinightowl]

10. “Poppycock! No fool could ever be that daft to actually go through with it!”, Bruce/Clark but its Bruce who says poppycock.

I swear, I have started and failed this prompt about half a dozen times. I even built an entire Holmesian AU in my head around it. And yet, what do I end up with? This. I hope you enjoy! (also, love your icon! Asmo is amazing!)

(also, for the anon who asked for #10 with Alfred and Bruce, this is also your response too!)

~*~*~

There was nothing quite like the glitz and glamor of a charity auction hosted by the Wayne Foundation, Clark decided. These sort of puff pieces were beneath a reporter of his caliber, but he appreciated covering events hosted by Bruce because he knew that not only were the funds being raised going to the right places, but that the majority of the costs associated with hosting this were covered by Bruce himself.

Whether they were tax deductible, he’d yet to discover.

Lingering near the canapé table, Clark dutifully took notes for the article that was already mostly written in his head. All he needed were a few quotes from the people who really mattered rather than the attention seekers attracted by his visible press pass. His hearing told him that Tim wasn’t too far and that Bruce was perhaps a few meters beyond his son.

Tim was always good for an honest statement at an event like this, touching on the meaningful points of what his adopted father’s foundation was currently doing. With the right questions, Clark was sure he could learn more about Tim’s own Neon Knights program and how that was progressing.

But, meaningful as that was, it didn’t sell papers or keep people renewing their online subscriptions.

No, what sold papers were the antics of Brucie Wayne, billionaire playboy and philanthropist.

And just like Bruce’s children, Clark really disliked dealing with the Brucie persona that was always in full effect when the public was watching. Nearly two decades hadn’t lessened it in the slightest.

Deciding it was best to get it over with, he made his way through the crowd with his own act of mild mannered reporter who was a tad bit clumsy on display.

As he moved into the periphery of Bruce’s circle of sycophants, Clark noticed that Brucie seemed to be in rare form tonight. To the outside world, there was absolutely nothing going on behind those pale blue eyes. Wide and vapid, they matched his laugh, his smile, his everything.

Brucie was in the middle of a story and gesturing with great enthusiasm. “…And then Alfred said Poppycock! No fool could ever be that daft to actually go through with it! Well, I’m no fool and Dickie had already done it, so I figured I could too.”

Clark zoned out as he tried to maneuver closer, already familiar with the real story about how Dick took it upon himself to try walking a tightrope strung up between two large Las Vegas hotels. Bruce’s public version though explains how he ended up with that broken leg a couple months ago.

The crowd was too tight around Bruce, so he decided hitting up Tim would be the better option. If he was lucky, Brucie would pull some ridiculous stunt before he left that could be added into his article.

No sooner had he turned his sights on Tim, a large hand thumped solidly on the back of his shoulder. “Well, well, well, would you look who’s here?”

It was Bruce.

“Hello there, Nebraska.”

Clark tossed a prayer into the ether for patience. “It’s Kansas.”

“Right, right. I’ll remember next time, Iowa.” Brucie grinned vapidly but Clark didn’t miss the gleam of amusement in his eyes.

Someone wanted to play. Damn, and here he’d been hoping that if he did speak with Bruce, he’d take pity on him and make it easy. No such luck tonight.

“Mr. Wayne, congratulations on the turnout tonight. How much are you and the Wayne Foundation anticipating this auction will raise for the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Greater Gotham City area?”

“Ugh, numbers.” Bruce pulled a disgusted face as he looped an arm over Clark’s shoulders and started leading him away. “I hate numbers. They’re so…numbery. Who even invented them anyway?”

“The current number system we use originally evolved from the Hindus by way of the Arabs —“ Clark was cut off with a broad wave of Bruce’s hand that almost hit him in the face.

“If I wanted a history lesson, Smallville, I’d have asked for one.”

Well, at least he was using the right town now. It was better than farm boy, which was probably coming up as Bruce cycled through all his nicknames. The list was long and Clark swore that Lois and Bruce must have a master list that they shared because some of them were just too crazy for them to have come up with on their own.

Clark sighed and pushed his glasses firmly onto his nose. “Mr. Wayne, if you could just give me a brief statement about the auction, I can get out of your hair.”

“Hmm, and go bother Timothy instead?” A brief flash of Bruce’s usual wry humor appeared in his eyes. “No, I think that —”

This time, Bruce was cut off as a well-dressed socialite appeared out of nowhere and tossed champagne right in his face.

“How could you, Brucie?” the brunette wailed, eyes welling with tears so big her makeup was already starting to run. “I thought you said I was special.”

Only with his super hearing could Clark hear the low Fuck that escaped from his friend.

“Anita!” Bruce said smoothly, completely ignoring the liquid streaming down his face. Already, there was a circle forming around them as people stopped to stare.

The woman wailed even more loudly. “That’s not my name!”

“Annie? Annabelle? Something that starts with an A?“

Clark stepped to the side to watch the drama unfold. And what a show it was, right out of a daytime soap opera. A jilted lover seeking public vindication that she’d been wronged in some hope of winning back the love of the one who wronged them. The backdrop of the hotel ballroom was the perfect touch too if by some chance this woman did manage to convince Bruce to speak with her in private. Perhaps in a hotel room upstairs. Like that was going to happen though. At this point in time, the playboy reputation was just that, a reputation, and had been for some time. Whoever this person was, they were trying to take advantage of that for their own gain.

Bruce and the woman were going around in circles, the woman getting more and more hysterical by the minute. The whole thing ended when she threw her empty glass and then herself at Bruce. A security guard caught hold of her before she could though. It took two of them to drag her away, still wailing and screaming.

“Well, that was entertaining.” Bruce smiled disarmingly at Clark. “I think you got your story now, Iowa.”

“I got something, that’s for sure. Have a good night, Mr. Wayne.”

It was past time to seek out Tim, get his quote, and get out of here.

~*~

Less than an hour later, Clark sat in his hotel room and typed up the story. A shower had gone a long way toward improving his mood, as had the comfortable pillows supporting his back as he wrote. The bed was surprisingly comfortable, which, considering the price tag for the room, it had better be. This kind of place was out of his budget, but wasn’t even a drop in the bucket for the man who was taking a shower of his own in the bathroom.

Bruce.

This was one of those rare nights where their schedules happened to coincide, that there wasn’t some disaster calling him away. The kids were all on patrol tonight, so unless there was an Arkham emergency, here they would stay until morning and life tore them apart once again.

Clark shook off his maudlin thoughts and kept writing. Work first. This was how his bills got paid. Fingers flew over the keyboard of his laptop and he’d proofread the article twice by the time Bruce exited the bathroom, dressed in a bathrobe and his hair still damp.

“Almost done?” he asked as he took a seat on the other side of the large bed, swinging his legs up so that he could lay down.

“Just about.” Clark clicked on send and the article was off to Perry. “Tim was a huge help.”

“He always is.”

Setting the laptop aside, he took off his glasses and turned his attention on Bruce. The man looked exhausted, even more so than usual. “Rough week?”

Bruce rolled onto his side to face Clark. “Rough month. Don’t tell Alfred, but I probably shouldn’t have taken the cast off when I did.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He laid down and pointedly did not switch over to his x-ray vision to scan Bruce’s leg. It wouldn’t do any good for either of them. “Ready for bed?” he asked instead.

“We haven’t seen each other in person for three months. Do you really think I want to sleep?”

Clark sighed and traced one dark smudge under Bruce’s eye, then the other. They’d been hidden by concealer earlier. “These say otherwise.”

Bruce grabbed his hand and drew it to his mouth, lips ghosting over the large knuckles. “Those are never going away, Clark. Deal with it.”

“You’re probably right.”

“I’m always right. Now get over here and keep me awake.”

“And what if I want you to fall asleep on me?” Clark shifted around until he was pressed flush against the other man. 

It constantly amazed him that he and the oh so proud Batman were at a point in their lives where this was even possible. Twenty years ago, he’d have asked if the person suggesting it was feeling all right and done a quick scan of their brain to check for damage. Ten years ago, he would have wordlessly shrugged it off. Five years… well, time made for all the difference in the world. This was about as close to domestic as the two of them got. It hurt that it couldn’t be more, but with the lives they led, these quiet moments were more precious than gold.

“Shut up and kiss me, Clark.”

Laughing, he did just that.

#chibinightowl writes #Clark Kent #Bruce Wayne #SuperBat

[bookgeekconfessions]

How I Got My Agent! pt 2.

I am officially being repped by Quressa Robinson at NLA. I have a book agent!!! It’s thrilling and nerve-wracking and amazing and terrifying. 

I can’t share the actual query letter yet, but I can share how it all came about.  It’s a long insane story that is so crazy it will seem like fiction, but as this post proves…it’s not!

 For Part 1 and Part 3.  Now for Part 2! (Stay tuned for a word of warning about querying at the end of this post.)

6. The Query test. First, I did a test. And this is where my story gets a little crazy and I am still struggling to comprehend how this all came to be.

My test - I sent the query to 4 agents who I would have loved to work with but were not at the top of my list. I had a top ten list of agents I really believed I belonged with. I sent the query to these four agents because there was a huge chance that while I loved my Query it might not have worked. I cursed in the opening line! Agents could have hated that. Could have found it to be too gimmicky and too over the top.  There was a HUGE chance it wouldn’t work.   I have a google spreadsheet of 100 or so agents. Four didn’t seem like too big of a sacrifice in order to test my queries strength.

 Within an hour I had two requests to read my full manuscript.

Here is why this is insane and if you are currently querying you SHOULD NOT compare yourself to my experience. Getting a request for a full that quickly doesn’t happen. Usually, after a week to six weeks, the agents will pass or they’ll request a partial.  If they like the section they read then they will request a full. Or they will take the full six weeks, read the fifty pages you submitted and then pass or request a full. 

So those immediate requests for fulls floored me. I will admit to you guys that the book wasn’t really ready. I sent out my requests knowing it would take weeks for the agents to contact me. I had two friends with my latest draft and the mission of confirming whether or not I was ready to query. I had a friend offer to proofread my first fifty pages.  But I no longer had time for that. I had to trust my instincts that the book was done.

7. The Mass Query of 2017 With two requests for the full manuscript, I realized that my query was probably ok and that I had to query other agents in case my test four made an offer. Again, they were awesome and would have absolutely been able to steer my career, but I had 100 other agents I also wanted to consider me and my book. 

I sent it to 1/3 of my list. I was still very very nervous. I thought the two who requested could be a fluke. I worried that if I queried everyone they would all hate my book and then I would be nowhere. 

Within twenty-four hours half of the agents requested fulls. I was stressing now. Overwhelmed. Terrified. Floored. Excited.  

Then it happened. Five days after I sent my first four query emails an agent wanted to schedule a call.  I knew what it must mean. My heart stopped and everything in my world changed...suddenly my book went from this crazy dream to a real possibility.

I queried another 1/3 of my list. Ultimately I queried 2/3s of my list. I will never know what the other third would have done.

8. The Awkward Notifications I spoke to that first agent on the phone and she gushed about my book, told me it has been a long time she’d been excited about a submission and named a dozen editors at a dozen imprints who may want to publish my book. Ultimately this person was not Quressa,  but she changed my life. In the moment she said “I would love to represent you,” I knew that I was no longer alone and even if not this book, eventually I would be published. I will always appreciate that agent for that moment. For that peace and validation that what I have spent my life focused on was not in vain. Someone liked my writing!

When you get an offer but a bunch of other agents has your manuscript or just a query you have to let them know about the offer. It’s very very strange. You want to jump up to that first offer and say YES YES YES GET ME PUBLISHED. But it’s rude.  You have to tell that agent to wait. There could be other agents reading it and wanting it and also those other agents may be better for you.

I had to email agents and tell them I had an offer and give them a five-day deadline to read my book and decide if they wanted me.  It felt like bragging. It felt like being pushy and I was nervous, but it had to be done.

Agents who hadn’t even read my query yet rushed to read the query then requested fulls. Agents read my book in a matter of hours and requested a phone call or meeting. One agent saw that we were in the same city and asked that we meet in person! It was wild.

9. The Mass Rejection of 2017 Here is the DIRTY, Dirty truth about querying. You are going to get more rejections than offers. There are dozens of reasons, but every single rejection feels personal. It feels like they’re spitting on your hard work and stomping on your self-esteem. Rejections make you feel like the agents who offered are liars, or not good at their jobs. Rejections make you feel that you are an imposter, that no one will ever like your work. 

Every single rejection felt like a twist of a knife in my heart. Even though I have an agent and have signed an agreement and have begun the work toward publishing, I still get some trickle in rejection and it hurts. It’s unreasonable. I had the dream when it comes to querying and I still remember the rejection emails more vividly than I do the offers.

And when you get an offer the rejections POUR IN.  Some of the rejections were just form emails that make you wonder if they even opened the document. Some of the rejections I got were extremely helpful. Agents who are huge and busy and have NYTimes Bestselling Authors took the time to write me detailed notes and explain why they were rejecting me. Many of my rejections were extremely personal and encouraging and even complimentary. I was told that I had an amazing voice, favorite quotes that I had written were embedded into the email with gushing platitudes and yet all I got from it was that they didn’t want me. Many agents just don’t want to be rushed.  They want to request a revision because as a first-time author there were issues with the manuscript I submitted.  How are they to trust that I can revise to their liking if they don’t have time to request revisions? There’s also the “I like it, but if there’s an agent that wanted you in a matter of days, that means they LOVE it and will give it the attention it needs.” There are a dozen reasons, my friends but rejection still hurts.

Something to always remember. 

Agents try to write things like “reluctantly I step aside,” but the reluctance didn’t stop them from stepping aside and so they rejected me. And even over a month later the fact that they liked it and gushed and were lovely doesn’t stop that pang in my heart that the majority of the agents just didn’t want my book. 

10. Getting Wooed. I had four offers within two weeks of Querying. I scheduled three phone conversations and one in-person meeting. I locked myself in a room at work where I wouldn’t be disturbed and conducted my first professional conversations about my writing. 

My book was compared to bestselling books and movies. They detailed what they liked about it, presented themselves as the best possible agent for me. They listed their histories and their past clients. I asked questions about their sales history, asked to review the client agreement, asked how they liked to communicate and much more that made me uncomfortable but was very important to my decision.  They gave me notes on what would they thought needed to change in the book and told me their submission strategy.

I would sit on these phone calls and my heart would hurt. How was I supposed to know who was best? Did I pick the big agency with some of the best in the business with an agent who had dozens of best sellers but wanted my book to be something I didn’t agree with? Did I take the agent from the small but respected agency who loved my book so much she didn’t think it needed extensive rewrites before submission even though I disagreed? Did I pick the agent with little experience, but was being trained by one of the best in the business who promised the lure of having two agents for the price of one but wanted me to change the most important thing about my main character's identity? 

When you have multiple agent requests, they will all know that other agents want you and it makes them want you more. They are human after all. But ultimately you have to pick who is right for YOU and your work. 

Side Note: A Word of Warning about Querying.

From my one time experience, I have a word of warning. Agents who do not require a lot of materials in the first stage of the query process are more likely to reject you. When they just have a query but no sample pages they have no real idea what your book is about, what your writing style is, etc and so when they get the book they are going in completely blind. I don’t know if it’s because they thought my book was something else entirely or they didn’t connect with my writing style or what, but every agent who requested a full based on only a query rejected me. 

Tune in tomorrow for the third and final entry in the “How I Got My Agent” series. 

#querying #writing #writing tips #writing help #literary agent #booklr #writing advice #naomi writes #naomi muses #NLA #Quressa Robinson

[lindyhunt]

13 Guaranteed Methods for Becoming a Better Writer -- Fast

Communication skills are more important than ever, but what if your grammar doesn't quite make the grade?

Fifty years ago, you would've walked over to your coworker's desk or called up to the second floor to ask a question. Now, whether your coworkers are in the next cube or half a world away, it's standard practice to email, instant message, or text them.

This shift in basic communication has made writing skills crucial to being listened to.

An increasing number of employees are "working with people they have never met and communicating with them largely through email," Will Ellet, adjunct professor of writing at Brandeis International Business School, told CNBC.

No matter what format your written communication takes, it needs to be clear and concise. Misunderstandings can lead to costly mistakes. Given that the average professional sends and receives more than100 emails a day, no one has time to read rambling messages that don't get to the point quickly.

We could all use a little refresher on our business writing skills. And thanks to a wealth of free classes and resources online, we can improve our grammar and writing from the comfort of our own desk chairs -- without spending a dime.

To get you started, we've put together a list of tips for quickly improving your written communication skills. Check 'em out. (And if you're looking for more, here's an excellent list of helpful websites and tools that address common grammar questions and errors.)

How to Become a Better Writer

Develop a daily writing habit.

Try to read every day.

Capitalize when you're supposed to.

Avoid using exclamation points.

Always think about your audience.

Cut the filler phrases and buzzwords.

Sign up for a free writing course online.

Use writing templates.

Make sure you address people correctly.

Study commonly misused words and phrases.

Drop the word 'very' from your vocabulary.

Read your writing out loud.

Ask for feedback from your peers.

1. Develop a daily writing habit.

Practice makes perfect, so set aside just 10 or 15 minutes each day to free-write. Free writing is a healthy daily habit that allows you to get your thoughts down on paper (or computer) without worrying about outlining or proofreading your ideas. Think of it like a journal, but focus your daily entry on personal growth or a subject in which you want to become -- or be seen as -- an expert.

Once you've finished writing every day, you can then use a tool like Grammarly to help spot mistakes and remember them for the next day.

2. Try to read every day.

In addition to writing each day, a daily reading habit is also crucial to increasing your vocabulary and expanding your writing repertoire.

Be selective about your reading choices, though. While reading in general does help you take on new points of view, the content you're reading can have the biggest impact on what you get out of it. According to a study by the University of Florida, reading academic journals and literary fiction can actually make you capable of more complex writing projects than reading simple, curated, or pop-culture web content.

So, pack a novel alongside your lunch or peruse a magazine. Even industry blogs can be a great source of quality writing (if we do say so ourselves).

3. Capitalize when you're supposed to.

Notice how the University of Florida published that study referenced in the previous tip. And notice how the "University of Florida" is capitalized.

It might seem pedantic to school you on basic rules of grammar, but it's not always clear what deserves to be capitalized and what doesn't. Here are two types of writing you should always examine closely when uppercasing your words:

Proper nouns. If it's an official name of a person, city, company, product, book, publication, country, continent, government job title, or school (we're likely missing some on this list), capitalize it. These words refer to specific people, places, or things, and should be capitalized to reflect it.

Title case. Whenever you're titling a new story, book, article, or even a new section of an article, you'll need capitalizations to distinguish it. This means email subject lines, blog post headlines, and even report titles should be capitalized. Check out the Associated Press Stylebook to learn a popular way of doing so.

4. Avoid using exclamation points.

Often, we rely on exclamation points too heavily as a crutch.

"Don't ask punctuation to do a word's job," warns Beth Dunn, chief writer and editor on HubSpot's product team. "It dilutes your message." Instead, she suggests working on making our words convey more precisely what you want to say. When in doubt about whether to use an exclamation point, consult this flowchart.

5. Always think about your audience.

You can be casual with your coworkers and peers, but when communicating with management or clients, it's a good idea to write using more formal grammar.

Keep in mind that "formal" doesn't necessarily mean stilted or old-fashioned. Rather, it asks that you use contractions sparingly ("it is" instead of "it's"), pick your greeting words carefully ("hello" and "hi" are more formal than "hey"), and choose your humor wisely.

It's much harder to convey tone in the form of words than it is in person -- the types of formality described above are how you can compensate for this and ensure your audience doesn't feel disrespected.

6. Cut the filler phrases and buzzwords.

Wordy phrases such as "due to the fact that” should be swapped out for their simpler, more straightforward synonyms. (In this case, "because” gets the job done.)

Some buzzwords may be trendy, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're effective in communicating ideas clearly. Remove them from your business communication unless you're sure that everyone understands exactly what "synergy” means.

7. Sign up for a free writing course online.

You'd be surprised what you can learn from a free online writing course. Massively open online courses (MOOCs) are only multiplying, and you can find free courses offered by Coursera, Udemy, and edX, as well as universities such as Harvard, Stanford, and MIT.

8. Use writing templates.

Templates can save you some serious time and effort. If you have to send out similar letters or memos on a regular basis, create a template with customizable fields. You can always personalize your communication with a sentence or two.

Here are 78 free content creation templates for ebooks, press releases, SlideShares, infographics, and more to help you get started.

9. Make sure you address people correctly.

Avoid accidentally insulting someone by triple-checking names, gender, personal pronouns, and titles.

Dustin Wax of Lifehack writes, "If you're not positive about the spelling of someone's name, their job title (and what it means), or their gender, either a) check with someone who does know (like their assistant), or b) in the case of gender, use gender-neutral language.”

10. Study commonly misused words and phrases.

And never get them wrong.

It is "peek," "peak," or "pique"? Which one is correct: "first-come, first-served" or "first-come, first-serve"? There are a lot of commonly misused words and phrases out there that you should know.

For example, what's the difference between "that" and "which"? In short, "that" introduces essential information, meaning the stuff that would turn your sentence into nonsense if you took it out. It does not get a comma. On the other hand, "which" introduces non-essential information and is preceded by a comma. (For an in-depth explanation, read this post from Grammar Girl.)

When in doubt, do a quick Google search. It's worth it.

11. Drop the word 'very' from your vocabulary.

Florence King once wrote, "'Very' is the most useless word in the English language and can always come out. More than useless, it is treacherous because it invariably weakens what it is intended to strengthen."

You'd be amazed at the difference removing the word "very" makes in your writing. Here are a few examples:

The software was built by a very passionate group of engineers.

I'm very excited to get started on our next project.

The data that the marketing team received was very indicative of the website traffic from last month.

In all three sentences above, "very" dilutes the strength of the word that comes after it. Now read each sentence without "very." Don't they sound so much better?

If you want your writing to speak volumes to your audience, don't add "very" -- add a better adjective. Once you attach "very" to it, you're giving the adjective a grade that it doesn't need.

12. Read your writing out loud.

Before you send anything important, read through it out loud quickly. It may seem a little strange, but reading your writing out loud is one of the most effective ways to catch typos, grammar errors, and awkward phrasing.

13. Ask for feedback from your peers.

This is perhaps the most important tip of all for becoming a better writer. If you read your own writing enough times, it suddenly becomes just a wall of words, playing in your head with no real meaning. The best way to find out how your writing will hit the ears of your readers is to have someone else read it.

Getting your peers and colleagues to provide you with feedback on your writing gives you a window into how other people -- who all have different experiences and ways of interpreting things -- perceive your ideas. For example, a paragraph you thought was crystal clear might totally confuse your direct coworker. The more often you take this criticism, the more capable you'll be to reinforce your voice and identify with your audience.

These self-paced, self-study tips will help you improve your writing and communication skills in no time.