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sanctus-ingenium · 9 months

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we need to talk about Inprnt.com

Following a really good post with more screenshots and evidence by @dynasoar5 i'm going to talk about my own experiences with @inprnt and why I am about to put my shop on indefinite hiatus from Monday the 14th of August.

First of all I'll say that since starting my print shop last year it has been a significant help to me financially - I was able to not worry about affording car insurance or motor tax (together commonly over a thousand euro) when I bought my first car, for example. I am immeasurably grateful to anyone who chose to buy one and I treasure all the pictures I've been sent of my prints hanging up on people's walls. Right now they are displayed in a real (if small) art exhibition in my home town.

(top right print is not from inprnt though)

They're great prints. Never had any complaints about them. But here's what's going on behind the scenes.

Earlier this year, around March or April, Inprnt sales started increasing in regularity. I'd made as much as $600 a week during previous sales when I made proper promo posts here, but with this increase in regularity, I felt that I couldn't make promo posts every single week. And then one day, I'm not sure when tbh, the sale just never ended. It just didn't stop having that "Ending soon! 15% off your order" banner at the top of the site. Right now it says "Final Hours: $5 Worldwide shipping and save up to 35% off your order!" and not even for a second do I believe in this final hours bullshit. It's been 'final hours' for weeks now. Months, even.

Why is this a problem? Well, how tf am I meant to make a promo post for a sale that is always "ending soon!!" and then never ends. One week it'll say "this weekend only!!" and then when the weekend is over, the sale banner just changes its wording and the sale doesn't end. I can't promo this, it makes me look like a liar and a skeevy salesman by association! It makes the site look like it's 1 week from crashing and burning, and the site owners are just scrabbling to suck as much money from artists as possible before they drown.

And they are sucking money from us. To peel back the curtain, Inprnt money can only be transferred to my paypal account 30 days after the sale is made, just in case the order is cancelled and refunded. This means I used to make one withdrawal every couple of months, when there was enough build-up of money to make it worthwhile. It also forbids withdrawing any sum under $50 btw. I would make a withdrawal request and then, after a 10 business day wait, it would reach my Paypal account.

Not anymore! The past few withdrawals have taken over a month to complete. They are straight up keeping my earnings from me for longer the agreed period. This was my last fulfilled withdrawal:

Note the date.

Almost two months.

And here is the latest withdrawal request that still has not been fulfilled.

It's coming up on 1 month and if the pattern continues, it could literally be November or December by the time I fully clear all sales.

So what's going to happen to my print shop? Because my art is currently being exhibited with a QR code linking to the shop, I can't close the shop this week. Instead I will close it on Monday the 14th of August, next week. That means that on the 14th of September, I can withdraw all of the remaining money without having any left over. My account balance will go to 0 and stay there. Although I'll de-list my prints I will leave my account there, because at the end of the day I don't want to leave Inprnt. It still offers the best artist margins and as I'm now unemployed after graduating, the additional support is such a load off my mind. So this is a chance to wait and see - if they improve their services, I'll happily re-open.

It's a big deal to me because selling prints is sort of my ideal life as an artist. I never had the attention span or self-discipline for commission work and I found that it left me creatively stagnant. I always want to try new things, new concepts and ideas, and being able to think "yeah, people will like this as a print" while I experiment is honestly very reassuring. And I know that in going on hiatus, it'll break a lot of "buy a print" links in my circulating posts. Oh well lmao. If you want to buy a print right now - go ahead, it might be your last opportunity. Another way to support me would be to check out my ko-fi for once-off donations or some nice sketchbooks/comics/book samples you can buy, or subscribing to my Patreon.

As of right now, Inprnt owes me $381 (the unfulfilled request submitted above for $186.60 and my current standing balance of $194.80 which takes 30 days from each transaction to clear).

#it's so god damn insulting u know. even redbubble threw its shitty payouts directly into my paypal asap #inprnt

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universalthaumaturge · 3 months

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Nobilis Dash Simulator

❤️‍🔥 theworkofhellisholy Follow

i love you shipping discourse i love you having to make accounts for everything i love you small talk i love you esophageal cancer i love you deforestation i love you scabs you can't help but pick even though you're not supposed to i love you scabs as in strikebreakers i love you unbearably hot weather in winter i love you people who film strangers in public without their consent i love you prion disease i love you car-based infrastructure i love you gallstones i love you stock market i love you enshittification i lov

36 notes

🌳 sneacensnoveonthesnorldsnash Follow

just ate an elfsciene panini for the first time and cried i love u world

🌺 flore7 Follow

i'm dying of cake so i can't really eat it without being crushed to death by a giant cake mountain but aelfscienne's is so good i don't even care anymore LOL

🌳 sneacensnoveonthesnorldsnash Follow

i want you carnally

🪲 lord-entropy-official Follow

Why do I even bother anymore.

607,789 notes

🐶 surolam Follow

Remember to use miracles responsibly! There has been a surprising increase in dementia animus cases lately.

lakedrinker10000-deactivated60231212

and what if we don't?

👨‍⚖️ locourtbailiff Follow

oh thats simple! TEN THOUSAND LOCUST ATTACK 🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗

12,144 notes

🕵️ illegalregal Follow

ok i know we're meant to "enact vengeance no more than sevenfold unto their crime" or whatever but what the fuck does that MEAN????

🕵️ illegalregal Follow

like, if an excrucian eats the leftovers i had on my fridge, do i eat their food? do i punch them (but softly enough that it's not over 7x as worse as having your leftovers stolen!)?? is there a conversion guide somewhere. how the hell do you MEASURE that?????

7 notes

🦑 yog-sazasthur Follow

Kids these days TOO FOCUS on their damned CELL-PHONES..... They should be Eating... Having Sex... And Wriggling !

30,054 notes

👽 prescottsdaddy Follow

do you think cneph and harumaph ever explored eachother's bodies

cneph Follow

we did

👽 prescottsdaddy Follow

dude's literally roleplaying as the great maker and the angels in the notes are calling ME blasphemous???

90,732 notes

☠️ chattering-monkeys-and-parrots Follow

kys. just in general

🧍‍♂️ the-light-is-perfection Follow

excuse you???

☠️ chattering-monkeys-and-parrots Follow

kys in particular

281,667 notes

👼 graceful-invader Follow

guys the voice of the creator is telling me we should kiss eachother with tounge. this is what heaven needs

733,712 notes

🔨 warry-in-main Follow

just did my first tempering and it turns out the dude was lactose intolerant

🐻 peregrine-twink Follow

aw man that sucks. is there anything we can do to help?

🔨 warry-in-main Follow

take my test boy

1,907 notes

🧸 dailydahlia Follow

Why do people still think i'm a mimic?!

#seriously guys! #longfurby is RIGHT THERE.

1 note

💠 itfuckenwildy Follow

god i fucking hate it here

🎩 qistjannuja Follow

Hate? No no no my enemy, you don't "hate" creation. Not really.

Let me tell you about actual hate. Pure, undiluted, wyrdbound Hate.

I was ROYALTY. I ruled over my lands with a kind hand and an iron fist and we THRIVED. But then, the little prick you call a maker fucking drowned it all in… in THIS. This grimy, glitched, causational mess you dare to call home.

If that was it, I'd be pissed. I'd be furious, even. But that's not all.

It had the AUDACITY to poison me with its substance. I physically can't stay in the void because it leaks out and poisons it too. And when I come back, guess what? It kills me. Over and over and over and over. I've died five times this month. Died of HORSES. Imagine getting stampeded on just for daring to exist, **WHICH I DON'T BY THE WAY**.

And you know what? if that was it, I could take it. If that was it, I would just take the L and try to adapt. I would try to find beauty in the world, you know? stop and smell the flowers? But GUESS WHAT. Your "great maker" DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE WORLD RIGHT. It's all... eugh.

I can't stand the creation simps who try to defend it but HARUMAPH-MY-WITNESS I FUCKING DESPISE the ones who think they hate it more than me. YOU DON'T. Fuck you. I'll world-breaker's hand you. Bitch.

💠 itfuckenwildy Follow

nvm i love it here. where else would you get shit like this

🎭 gaathika-aupa-yochelm Follow

"i'll world-breaker's hand you. bitch." LMAOOO i bet this dumbass doesn't even have the drunkard's gift

🎩 qistjannuja Follow

It's none of your fucking business, ""Aupa"", and besides, it seems you don't understand what an ANALOGY is.

"World-Breaker's Handing" someone is simply meant to imply utterly and retroactively erasing them, something your deceiveroid intellect probably wouldn't comprehend anyways.

I am a Votary in my Dream-of-Self and a Dustcloak of my Sphere, I don't need some paltry Wyrd-trick to kill either of you.

🎭 gaathika-aupa-yochelm Follow

🌌 not-heritage-posts Follow

Not-Heritage Post

124,801 notes

🌸 botanyhellyeah Follow

my gf mde fun of me bc i cant open the jar of pickle but shes a supernal martialart master and im jsut a little motal i'm not even miraculous in natures

🧘‍♂️ zulander Follow

Rosie, sweetheart, do you remember the miraculous bracers you made? the ones with the oak leaves, that make you as strong as a noble when you say the command word? the ones you're wearing right now?

🌸 botanyhellyeah Follow

FUFK

25,678 notes

👥 weamlegion0015 Follow

normalize consuming peolpe and incorporating them into the unliving matrix of your pseudoself! ^u^

🪀 jojotun Follow

Are you an actual

👥 weamlegion0015 Follow.

no what makes u say that? :P

🪀 weamlegion0016 FOLLOW.

aah it was nohting! my bad XD

20 notes

🤫 iolithae Follow

this joke format is still funny and relevant

5 notes

👚 dionylsus Follow

look it's not a sex thing when i pretend to be a set of human clothes and my partner wears me to the movies, ok? we do it so we don't have to pay two tickets. putting me in the washing machine IS a sex thing though

120 notes

cneph Follow

can someone please get me out of this fiddle. the wi-fi is great but i can't stretch without getting splinters

0 notes

🌟 ananda Follow

I might have accidentally let a few urbana escape into the prosaic. Stay safe out there.

141,235,813 notes

👨 im-an-anchor-you-wankor Follow

WHY THE FUCK IS MY TRASH CAN BITING ME

#unreality #suicide mention #nobilis #nobilisrpg #glitchrpg #glitch rpg #glitch a story of the not #fakeposting #dash simulator

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mmavverickk · 5 months

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I “love” the betrayal fics where the entire camp suddenly believes that this new guy has actually accomplished all of Percy’s achievements and Percy lied to all of them, like camp didn’t literally witness half of those accomplishments and like Percy actually outright says “I did X.” Percy says almost nothing about what he does, Camp hears about most of his achievements from others

oh, we've all seen those fics. new guy shows up, he's actually Percy's half-brother. Annabeth suddenly only has eyes for him, everyone suddenly hates Percy because new guy does too, Poseidon may or may not disown Percy, and then Percy runs away and joins Chaos.

it's been copied and pasted thousands of times in hundreds of ways.

not a single one of those fics has Percy's departure from Camp happen realistically. it's not even impossible to grow resentment between Percy and the campers, which is what these writers seem to want. but the way they go about it? a cookie cutter asshole pied piper OC who steals the spotlight and turns Camp into a hostile mob of angry demigods? Unrealistic. 0/10 trope, literally 50% of why i will not read fanfictions with OCs.

have some realistic ways of turning Camp against Percy or vice versa:

- Percy could be captured. The area he was taken from is drenched in blood. no one could survive that, Percy's gotta be dead, so Camp doesn't look for him. after [x amount of time] of captivity and probably torture, Percy gives up hoping for a rescue. he discovers darker uses for his powers, frees himself, and doesn't go back to camp, because they abandoned him. opens the road for angst and emotion and tearful reunions etc.

- Camp is attacked. maybe it was a lazy beach day. no one is ready, only a few campers have their weapons. they're outnumbered and maybe surrounded and definitely out of options. Percy won't let anyone die. two ways to go about this one:

A) percy destroys the attackers single-handedly, using every tool in his arsenal, every fucked up thing he can think of to make sure his people survive. he controls poison and blood and drowns monsters and, i don't know, freezes them into ice cubes or boils their skin or stops their hearts. Camp is terrified of him now. he leaves. or B) the armed campers fight back, but percy isn't fighting. he's busy keeping the injured from dying. how? he's controlling their blood. he won't let it deviate from its normal path. Camp is terrified of him now. he leaves.

- [x god] sends Percy on a quest. but, surprise! it's not a quest! it's a trick, to lead Percy to his death! Percy survives, but can't go back or he'll be revealing he's still alive before he figures out why [x god] tried to have him killed and if there's anyone else behind it. fun conspiracy vibes.

- percy adopts a new pet, except this time it's a drakon. "Percy," Chiron says very patiently and not-at-all exasperated, "you can't keep a drakon as a pet. it will eat your friends and we don't have the space." Percy flips authority the bird and strikes out with his new pet to find somewhere they can settle. kinda cracky but written right it could be funny.

- Percy pisses Zeus off. not surprising. Zeus wants to kill Percy. not surprising. for his own good, Chiron sends Percy on a roadtrip/changes his name and sends him to mexico along with multiple witness protection agents/quest to keep Percy out of sight for a while to allow the king of olympus time to cool down, because we like when percy is alive and also the war poseidon would wage at his death would kill us all.

are all of them 100% realistic? no, but neither is Percy leaving Camp. Hera had to literally kidnap him and erase his memory to keep him away. the point is that they're different and plausible, and not the same exact trope repeated over and over again until i can tell you the plot of hundreds of betrayal works in one sentence.

#mav.ask #agree those fics are like 'oh woo hoo it's dark percy!'#no it's not its you butchering the books to make him into a poorly disguised OC #'look he changed his name to omega and he's leading chaos's armies'#percy jackson #percy jackson headcanon #pjo #heroes of olympus #dark percy jackson

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soilaluna · 9 months

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how jjk men propose (out of the blue) gojo & toji x f!reader extreme fluffiness 1.6k w

gojo loathes routine. the only thing he's willing to drown in is crowded parties, one-night stands, and unlimited beverages. but not routine —nuh-uh (never). he can think of a thousand reasons why engaging in the same activities with monotonous regularity is unhealthy, crazy, and out of the question for him.

but then you introduce yourself. and you sweep him off his feet in a matter of weeks. then, in just in a couple of months, you drag him into your silly, meticulous routine and he thinks: there's no way he's going to pull through that relationship. he gives the two of you a couple of more weeks, at the most —if he survives dinner at 7 o'clock, if he can endure cleaning the house religiously on sundays, if he can keep taking the dog out for a walk every damn night before going to sleep.

but slowly, very surely, he has a change of heart. and suddenly he finds himself asking you to go out for a jog as soon as the sun comes out. and it's him who starts cooking at 5:45 pm so the dinner is ready just on time before you leave work. and grocery shopping —he loves those. he loves them with you. he adores the little rituals now his just as yours. and he wants them for much longer —forever if it's possible.

he realizes so while both of you are in the supermarket.

you're asking him something about some vegetables. he's clutching a plant of lettuce in his hand when he spits out, "i want this."

you tilt your head. you obviously have no clue what he's referring to cause you inquire, "you want... what? rocket or chicory? cause i find chicory disgustingly bitter."

and so, satoru chuckles, shakes his head, and adds, "no, not that, dummy. this. doing stuff. with you —for the rest of my life. our life, if you let me."

to his heartfelt confession, you answer with silence. it's just a few seconds of disquiet, but for satoru they go by like centuries. people walk around you, and there's too much noise (someone even asked him at one point to move his cart out of the way) but he's solely focused on your narrowed eyes and oh, no.

he royally fucked up.

he acted on impulse and didn't stop to think once about everything else: your own wishes, the proposal —because who the fuck proposes in a supermarket? (someone who doesn't want to hear a yes, obviously).

so, naturally, he panics. he opens and closes his mouth like a fish. he knows what he wants to say —we can wait, we don't have to marry at all, please don't panic, runaway and leave me— yet he can't word a single thought. he hadn't even properly asked! what reaction was he expecting from you?

but then (so merciful) you speak —not quite literally. you just wrap your arms around his neck and smash your lips against his. and oh, no kiss from you has ever felt sweeter. you mouth no words but the message is clear as water and it's so perfect. his hasty decision makes sense, by then. you never asked for anything more than an honest love.

he presses the palms of his hands against your back and hugs you tight against him. seconds go by, minutes —one, three, five. he doesn't count, he doesn't care.

it's not until someone passes by him and coughs that he puts his feet back on the ground. he's about to whine about the devastating interruption but adoration gleams in your toothy smile and wide, bright eyes and there is no way he can waste his attention on anyone else.

"so," you tease, "does this mean we have to plan a fancier dinner?"

(satoru rolls his eyes and then he goes for another kiss).

the upper floor is all chatter and laughter while toji's downstairs, in the kitchen, chopping meat for lunch.

he peeps the clock: you've officially been kidnapped by tsumiki and megumi for over an hour. he doesn't know what they're up to but he wouldn't dare stick his head up the stairs —not again, at least. he had already asked once if he could join them and megumi—with his usual, amusing blank stare—practically slammed the door in his face (tsumiki added a scream in the background, go away, dad!). and so, he was relegated to fulfilling the mere role of a chef while wondering just what the hell his kids were doing with his girlfriend.

a few more minutes pass before tsumiki finally speaks to him again.

"dad!"

toji covers the simmering pot before he turns around, "what?"

his daughter pokes her head between the stair railings. "c'mere" once toji gets closer, she adds, hushed, "i just wanna say that this is my idea and my idea only. she didn't want to do it 'cause she thought you'd get mad so please, please, pleaaaaase don't get mad."

toji raises an eyebrow —now he's really intrigued about what they'd been up to. tsumiki always behaved. she knows where the lines are drawn and never bothers to cross them. so whatever they've done, whatever had his daughter worried enough to apologize in advance, must be serious.

"ok?" he falters.

tsumiki whips her head to her right and calls out, "all good!"

megumi instantly appears and positions himself at the top of the stairs. he coughs a couple of times and not a second later, the most out-of-tune version of 'here comes the bride' comes out of his mouth.

slowly, you appear in the line of toji's vision. you respect the typical rhythm of a bride's entrance. one step —pause. another step —pause. one step —pause.

toji's eyes glimmer as he takes you in: your dress is made up of one of the kids' bedsheets, it hugs you loosely over your chest. the silver plastic crown you're wearing —he remembers buying it for tsumiki at a carnival fair not long ago. your holding an improvised bouquet of fresh flowers, so fresh he can see the roots from where he stands (he bets megumi has ripped them out from miss ayumi's garden) (he'd make sure his son apologized later). and the makeup —geez. he'd never seen you wear so much blush and red lipstick. you looked like one of those vintage porcelain dolls but —oh.

if only you knew how exquisite you looked.

you were pouring light everywhere. even if you felt uncomfortable, even if you felt insecure (toji could read you like an open book by now).

"what's the matter, doll?" he inquires.

your eyes bounce between the stairs, the walls, the kids. everywhere else but him.

"tsumiki wanted to play, i told her that it could be —y'know... "

too much? yeah. maybe some time ago.

(he could see why you were freaking out).

the first time you tip-toed around the idea of marriage—a little over a year after you had started dating—was the last time you ever did. it was just a silly comment you had made while you were watching a travel tv show —the couple on-screen was on their honeymoon. you asked him then what his ideal honeymoon location would be.

"for what? 's not like i intend to have one again".

and you never brought up the conversation ever again.

he knew his response had been blunt and unfair. but he'd thought—thanks to his brutish lack of understanding—that it was better to be straightforward and not misleading. the least he wanted was to fuck up what you both had.

(but he did fuck up. greatly).

and only now he had realized it.

there was no one else but you. he already had been gifted a second chance (with you, with love) —and life was often too callous to gift third opportunities. he didn't consider himself a smart man, but he'd be the stupidest human on earth if he wasted another second.

he wanted to marry you (and if he was lucky enough, you'd still want to marry him too, after all).

toji meets you halfway up the stairs. he leaves a couple of steps in between, just enough for him to kneel on one knee.

you look at him with a bent brow, your head is tilted but still, you manage to grin as you ask, "what are you doing?"

"what does it look like?" he questions back, "marry me".

you let out a nervous chuckle, clearly not believing what is happening. "what?"

"what you just heard. marry me, baby. for real." tsumiki immediately lets out a shrill and starts clapping and jumping. "i don't —i don't have a ring right now but i'll get one for ya. and we'll get you a real dress. and the kids will be dressed up all nice and pretty. just the four of us... what do ya think?"

toji waits, in dreadful silence. the second thoughts arrive in a second. maybe he should've prepared everything better. maybe you wanted something special. maybe he had let you down—once again— and suddenly this impulsive decision felt idiotic and absurd. of course, you deserved better. of course, you knew this and he wouldn't blame you if you said—

"yes".

yes.

he thinks he's daydreaming for a second but then��as if you could sense his dubiety—you repeat, louder. "yes!"

yes, yes, yes. you said yes.

your eyes are crystalline, filled to the brim with tears. your smile is as wide and beautiful as ever.

he leaps to his feet and reaches out to you. he clasps his hands around your cheeks and kisses you. tender and passionate. full of endless longing and eternal promises.

the kids are quick to join (megumi hugs you from your side, shedding tears of happiness) (tsumiki jumps to toji's arms, giggling).

(he's never been happier).

"i love you, wife" he utters.

"and i love you, husband."

#v.writes #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro fluff #toji fushiguro imagine #toji fushiguro x yn #toji fushiguro x you #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo imagine #jjk fluff #jujustu kaisen #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

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cherrycola27 · 10 months

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false god

Series Warnings: Mythology!AU. Language, alcohol, drinking. Military inaccuracies. Mutual pining, unrequited love. Allusions to and eventual smut. Slow burn. Minors DNI. 18+. Individual chapter warnings will come as needed. Banner Credit @thedroneranger

Masterlist Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 1: Villain Era

For generations, people have said that the gods from mythology weren't just myths, that they were real. Some even believed they walked amongst the mortals of the world.

Many people might brush it off, say it was the stuff of legends. That the Gods didn't exist. At least not the ones in the stories from ancient times, but that's a whole different conversation for another day.

Sure, people have claimed that the Gods of the days of old were real, and people have called them crazy. But those nay sayers are wrong.

The Gods are real.

And they do walk among the mortals. You know that without a shadow of a doubt.

Why?

Because you're one of them.

A millennia ago, you and the other Gods that once ruled over Earth from your perch on Mount Olympus were cast off by the Titans.

Angered by Zeus' taunting bravado, all of you were doomed to walk the Earth until each of you proved yourself worthy of your title.

One by one, the twelve of you earned your place back on the summit. Well—almost all of you.

It seemed that you were the only one of the bunch that hadn't been deemed worthy enough to have your seat on the high court given back to you, along with having your full powers restored.

You had tried for centuries to prove yourself worthy. Completing quest after quest and defeating enemy after enemy. Yet, none of them were good enough, hard enough, righteous enough.

Simply put, you were not enough.

So, you accepted your fate. That you would never have your seat back on Olympus. You gave up on trying to be worthy enough.

You spent centuries trotting the globe, doing what you pleased. However, even without your seat on Olympus, you were still forced expected to watch and govern over your realm.

Of course, you were still expected to do that. No one else wanted to. The Olympians all sat upon their mountain top and looked down upon you, literally and figuratively.

You spent three thousand years trying to prove that you are their equal. After yet another fail attempt to earn your rightful place, you decided you didn't need their approval. Who were they to tell you that you weren't good enough? They all thought you were a monster. Their minds were made up. So why try to change it? You vowed that you would no longer spend your life trying to prove your worth to the other Gods. You decided to do what you wanted, honor be damned.

After generations of trying to find yourself, you discovered that you loved flying, so, you chose a career where you could do just that.

You had traveled all over the world and eventually settled in America. You joined their Navy and became an aviator. A very good one at that. One of the best.

And the best part about it is that you could go by your real name, not one of the silly ones the humans insited on having.

After spending almost a decade in the Navy, you'd made quiet a name for yourself. And not in a good way. You had drifted from squadron to squadron. Each one more different than the last.

And yet, each one knew what it meant when you showed up. It meant a mission that would surely end in tragedy was coming. But, somehow, each time you cheated death, it was almost like you were untouchable—immortal even.

No one had ever seen a pilot like you. You were smart, clever, quick, deadly.

And the kicker of it all, you were a woman.

After a particularly sketchy mission overseas, where you somehow survived a total engine failure and heavy enemy fire, and crashing into the ocean due to a parachute failure, and then almost drowning, the Navy offered you the chance to have a more permanent duty station. To be part of the most elite squadron in the history of the program.

So, you packed your things and moved across the country to take on a role as the newest member of the Dagger Squadron on the North Island in San Diego.

Today was your first day. This would be your once chance to establish yourself, to assert your dominance. If you went in there friendly and smiling, they would think you're weak. You refused to let that happen.

So, you slicked back your bun, laced your boots, pinned your medals, and put on your game face. The metaphorical mask you wore to protect yourself and them. You weren't here to be best friends with the Daggers. You were here to train with them, fly a mission in a few months, and leave.

Making friends made the last item on the list harder. So, you would come in cold and calculated, team build enough to keep up appearances and earn their trust.

After giving yourself a once over in the mirror of your apartment, you grabbed your things and headed towards base.

.............

The first days were always the hardest. Just like in school, everyone always wanted a piece of the new kid. You could tell that the other aviators in the room were used to being the best of the best. Today, you took that title from them. You out ranked all of them and had more confirmed kills than the whole lot combined. You had thirteen. You'd personally sent thirteen souls to the Underwold.

You would think that being surrounded by death your whole life would make killing easier. It doesn't.

You remember the ache in your heart after your first confirmed air to air kill. People congratulated you, slapped you on the back, and applauded your accomplishments. You got a medal for it.

Everyone around you made it seem like it was a good thing, but it troubled you deeply. You remember sitting on the floor of your tiny rental downing bottle after bottle of whiskey and tequila, trying to ease the pain, but the relief never came. Finally, you broke down and cried out to Dinoysus. He'd answered your call and provided you with some lotus flower. You swallowed them quickly and let the numbness wash over you.

After coming down from the high, you swore you would never do it again. But you did. Each time making you feel worse than the last.

You prayed that your thirteen kill would be your last one.

You sucked in a breath and wiped your sweat palms against your uniform pants before quietly opening the heavy metal door and entering the hanger that was currently being used as a briefing room.

You stay quiet at the back of the room, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. The last thing you needed was to flame out and hurt someone. You're vaugly aware of your commanding officer introducing you to the group.

Though you didn't need much of an introduction, your reputation proceeded you.

You took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room. Just like clock work, the lifetime counters appeared for you over the heads of each of the new aviators that you were meeting for the first time. All of them still had decades left. You'd make sure it stayed that way.

One by one, you made eye contact with each of them. Everything was fine until your eyes met his.

You could see a spark in them that was oh so familiar. You felt a heat creepy over you. You had to squeeze your palms to keep them from bursting into literal flames.

Don't lose control

Don't let them see what you really are

You swallowed thickly before speaking.

"Good morning all. My name is Commander Y/N Kolasi. Call sign: Hades."

Twelve sets of eyes stared back at you. Each one of them wearing a different expression. Some were shocked, others surprised, and a few looked intimidated. One looked at you like you were his next meal, a challenge for him.

Keep it together

Each one came to introduce themselves. And shake your hand. Harvard. Yale. Halo. Fritz. Omaha. Payback. Fanboy. Coyote. Phoenix. Bob. Hangman. Each one telling you their call sign and welcoming you to the group.

Finally, after waiting his turn, he came up to introduce himself. He was tall and sun kissed. Golden brown curls and honey colored eyes with a thick mustache that he made work. He wore a smile on his face, but you could feel the lifetime of pain and the burden of the world that he carried with him.

"Good morning, Commander. My name is Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw. But you can call me Rooster." He told you before giving you a firm handshake.

You prayed that he wouldn't notice how hot your hands were from the flames that threatened to creep out of them.

You could feel the desire burning inside you. Something you hadn't let yourself feel for a very long time. You couldn't risk it. You couldn't allow yourself to lose control. Not again.

No, you can't do this again

You'll only hurt him

You could already tell that you would have to keep as much space between the two of you as possible. You wouldn't let yourself fall for him.

"'Rooster is going to be your wingman for the time being. He'll help you get acquainted with everyone while you're getting settled." Your commanding officer, Maverick, told you.

Great. So much for keeping your distance.

...............

After a day of training and flying and fending off the flirty remarks from Hangman, you headed to the locker rooms to take a long hot shower. The water wasn't nearly as hot as you wanted it to be, so you gave it a little extra assistance.

After spending some time soothing your aching muscles, because yeah, even the Gods get tired, you finished getting ready. You slid on a black sports bra and black v-neck shirt. You slipped on a pair of jeans and sighed as you pulled them up to cover the inked words and images across your hips and thighs.

You left your hair loose and swiped some mascara and a dark red lip on before leaving. You thought you might ask your new coworkers about the best place to get a drink around here. You couldn't actually get drunk, but you needed to keep up appearances and earn their trust. You've found that mortals are more apt to let their guard down and show their true selves after a few social drinks.

You grabbed your things and slipped your sunglasses over your eyes as you exited the building to walk to your car.

You fished your keys out of your bag. And you were just about to unlock your SUV when you noticed some of the boys crowded around your car.

"Excuse me?" You said as you unlocked your blacked out Land Rover Defender.

"Hades? This is your car?" Hangman asked you with wide-eyed amazement.

"Yes. It is." You deadpanned.

"Damn. This is fine as hell, darlin. Custom paint job?" He asked as he leaned against the hood and traced his finger down the electric blue pin stripping that ran down it.

"Yes, along with custom black chrome wheels and a custom sound system and custom interior." You tell him.

"So if you could back the fuck off and not lean on it, that would be great." You say sarcastically.

Good, don't let them think you're weak

"Sorry, honey." He smirked before standing up.

You rolled your eyes before looking over at the car parked next to you. It was a vintage blue Bronco.

"Whose Bronco is that?" You asks, looking at the group of men whose eyes went back and forth between ogling you and your SUV.

"It's mine." You hear Rooster's voice cut through them.

Of course it was

"I like it. I'm a big fan of the classics." You tell him.

"Thanks." He smiled. "Is this the Bond edition?" Bradley asks as he gestures to your car. "Yeah." You shrugged.

Don't smile back

Don't lose control

"So, Hades, how many drinks would I have to buy you at the Hard Deck for you to let me take this beauty for a spin?" Hangman asks you.

"Seresin, there isn't enough alcohol in the world for me to ever agree to that." You shoot back. Coyote laughs and smacks him on the back.

"But, the Hard Deck, is that where you guys go to get a drink around here?" You ask them.

"Yeah, it is. Mav's girlfriend owns it. If you want to, you can follow me over there, and I can buy you a welcome to the team beer." Rooster pipes up.

"Sounds good. Lead the way, Bradshaw." You say as you open your car door and climb in. A grin breaks out across Bradley's face as he jogs over to his car.

Great, you've been too nice.

Stop it.

You press your push to start button and the engine under the hood purrs to life. You can see the shocked expression of Hangman, Coyote, Fanboy, and Payback through your tinted windows.

You select your favorite playlist and turn the volume up. The beats ring out as you rev the engine before following Bradley out of the parking lot.

As the bass drops, you tap your shiny black fingernails along your leather wrapped steering wheel as you listen to the song

"She's in her villain era"

You cut your eyes to your rearview mirror. "You aren't here to make friends, and you aren't here to fall in love." You tell yourself.

"You'd better send a prayer up"

You took a deep breath as you pulled into the parking lot next to Rooster. You could do this. You killed the engine, but before you could open your door, Rooster rushed over and grabbed the handle before offering his hand to help you out.

"You didn't have to do that." You tell him.

Don't let him charm you.

Do you want a repeat of last time?

"I know, but my mom would roll over in her grave if I didn't." He tells you with a smile before leading you in.

The moment he mentions his mother, you can see her. You can see his memories of her. You know her. You had met her when she came through the gates. The first thing she asked you was if you knew where her Goose was. It took a few minutes of her explaining for you to realize she was talking about her husband. You think fondly of their reunion. Moments like those made your godly job more tolerable. It must have been almost fifteen years ago. You realize how young Rooster must have been.

Now you know why he carries sadness in his eyes.

"Hoping that she'll maybe spare ya"

You vow to yourself to not cause him anymore.

Don't lose control

................

You spend a few hours in the Hard Deck with your new squadron. You try your best to ignore the countdown timers of all the new faces. You swipe them away until you notice one of a young man who is sitting at the bar alone. He looks depressed and is clearly intoxicated. You see that he's got thirty minutes left to live.

He's fumbling for his wallet to pay his tab, and he sets his keys on the bar. You know exactly what he is going to do. You also know you shouldn't interfere because Minthe will tell you that all your time on earth has made you soft. But you can't help it.

You discreetly make your way through the crowd and swipe his keys without being seen. You look back and see that his time has jumped up several decades. You breathe a heavy sign and pocket his keys to turn into the bartender at a later time.

God, you are getting soft.

You're just about to pay for your drinks and the rest of your coworkers when Phoenix grabs your arm and tells you to come over to the piano.

You gather around to find Rooster sitting and playing a few melodies.

Then, he breaks into a song, putting on a show for the whole bar. You figured that's probably how he got his call sign.

As he is singing, he throws his head back, and you see them. You don't know how you hadn't noticed them before. His scars.

Before you know it, his words aren't his anymore. They are hers from ages past echoing in your brain.

"Come Hades! I want all of Olympus to know you're mine, mine, mine! I want to shout it from the mountain tops and tell the world you belong to me and I belong to you!" She chants out as you're racing her up a hill before catching her around the waist and kissing her. "Persephone, calm down, you'll wake the dead." You half scold her. "Well, I want them to know too, Hades." She tells you before kissing you again.

Her voice is as clear as day in your head. You can still feel the tingle from her kiss on your lips.

You didn't realize you had zoned out until Phoenix shook you to see if you were okay. You snapped back to reality and wiped a stray tear from your eye as Rooster began to play another song.

Don't lose control

Don't drop the mask

"Yes. I'm fine." You lied to her so easily. "It's just getting late. I'm going to head home. Will you tell everyone their tabs are taken care of." You call over your shoulder as you push your way through the crowd and out the door.

You struggle to draw in a breath as you get in your car. You turn on the headlights and zoom out of the parking lot as you try to regulate your heart rate.

It was all too much. Too similar. Too overwhelming.

You could feel the control slipping.

Get it together

You peeled down the highway towards your apartment, needing to put as much space between you and him. He was so much like her it scared you. You remember how easy it was for her to break down your walls. You could already feel them slipping again after just a day around him.

This is not good

Build your walls higher

Make your armor stronger

You couldn't relive the worst moment of your life. You would not let yourself fall in love with Bradley Bradshaw. You couldn't let yourself go through that heartbreak again. You might not be strong enough to survive it a second time

Not

Lose

Control

Taglist: @thedroneranger @roosterscock @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @milestellerlover @katieshook02 @mak-32 @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @ohgodnotagainn @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @gretagerwigsmuse @sunlightmurdock @withahappyrefrain @lt-spork @multifandomlover4life @lewmagoo @bradshawsbaby @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @roosterisdaddy36 @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @hisredheadedgoddess28

#cherrycola27 #top gun maverick #top gun #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #rooster top gun #tgm #rooster x reader #rooster smut #lt. bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw smut #tgm fanfiction #tgm fic #tgm smut #top gun 2 #false god #Spotify

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macbethz · 1 month

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ok i said i would stop drowning screenshots and posting them but I think this is genuinely so insidious i need to talk about it. This is on a post with TENS OF THOUSANDS of notes, with many reblogs featuring this attachment. I saw it because it was reblogged by people I follow!!

This language is horrifically harmful towards addicts, let's get that out of the way. The image of the addict is rendered disgusting and filthy for pure shock value, with the most "extreme" drug possible, to in turn make AI seem horrific. I'm fascinated by the fact that this kind of conservative rhetoric is adopted by leftist tumblr users the second it decries something they don't like. THERE IS A REASON the same people that consider addicts to be scum are speaking out against AI in this specific way, just like the same reactionaries that consider modern art a scourge on the earth and a pollution of traditional artistic values are making statements about AI art. The value of art is once again equivocated to the labor that went into it.

THIS is the natural endpoint of treating AI as just an objective moral evil in its own right rather than examining the conditions around it that are actually causing damage with it's use. The positioning of AI as a "vice" is juxtaposed with drug use as a "vice" just by its very nature - "using ai is bad because its bad." Even if we dive deeper into it, the argument becomes "using AI is bad because it makes you happy too easily, which is also why drugs are bad" Which like. Is a fundamentally conservative and reactionary stance.

I'm making this post as someone who dislikes AI, who works in game art and has literally experienced the effects AI is having on the industry I work in right now, including losing actual, tangible work to it. THAT, the MATERIAL consequences of AI art, is the discussion that should be happening in leftist spaces, not the positioning of AI as an inherent evil.

#warlock wartalks #ok long post but like that pissed me off cause like HOW ARE YOU AS A LEFTIST RBING THIS SHIT

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actual-changeling · 3 months

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i think it's funny that whenever i post something about aziraphale not caring about individual humans—only humanity as a concept—the ONLY counter argument everyone always throws at me is 'he gave his flaming sword away'.

mate.

that was six thousand years ago. LITERALLY fresh out of heaven, to the only two humans in existence, who were the entirety of humanity at that point.

let's look at what he's like in more recent years, yes?

ah yes, telling a person living in an alley that her girlfriend is going to hell with a smile. what a kind person. and the wonderful follow-up which sounds like it is straight out of some conservative, capitalistic asshole's mouth.

and fun fact, someone like that has said THOSE EXACT WORDS to me at some point.

crowley asking the real questions here like always

but hey, that was 1827, maybe he was just having a bad year. or decade. or century.

what about the present day? see, crowley is terrified of gabriel and hates his guts, but do you know what he does? he answers his questions very patiently. he is kind. once he realises gabriel isn't pretending he makes him hot chocolate and tries to help him remember, he empathizes.

aziraphale's patient is non-existent. he yells at him immediately, gets frustrated with the most simple questions, refuses to interact with him and leaves crowley with him after crowley told him "what i NEED is for him to be nowhere near me". how considerate. but hey, maybe he was just having a bad time.

job! he was kind in job, right?

except that he doesn't care about job losing his house, his farmstead, all of his animals being slaughtered and only has a problem with the children dying; which he then tries to rationalize away with his fucking "that's not what god wants" shtick.

meanwhile crowley already has plans to protect the animals AND the children AND job and sitis as best he can.

the flood? perfectly alright to drown everyone, including innocent animals and children! it is god's plan, and what do a few humans mean in god's great big ineffable plan, huh?

then again, he doesn't show much empathy for god's son either when he's being nailed to the cross. french revolution and people being beheaded? oh yes, sure, dreadful—anyway i'm just here for the crepes, the dying humans are just background noise, let's not do anything about that even though it is literally my fucking job as an angel. but noooo. he got peckish and then had lunch. what a fucking hero.

'accidentally' killing a dove because he just had to shove it up his sleeve for a magic act.

someone getting shot and dying? because i was careless? don't care. anyway.

armageddon and all of humanity dying? don't care either until i realise what i personally would lose and then i suddenly give a shit.

centuries upon centuries of aziraphale piling up money and he rather terrorizes poor people than entertain giving them a single dime. crowley has to remind and talk him into it, and as thanks he gets dragged down to hell and tortured.

aziraphale is dripping kindness, isn't he? and all of this doesn't even take into account the ball—human puppet show for his own amusement, this is supervillain shit and you know it—or all the other times he ignored human suffering so he wouldn't be personally inconvenienced.

and ALL OF THAT does not take into account how fucking horribly he treats crowley before time even existed.

aziraphale is not unkind. on a big scale, he cares about humanity, he cares about being nice, being good. he wouldn't intentionally harm someone, but he does not care enough to not be careless—he IS careless, and does NOT care if it kills creatures or humans.

his own personal wants and comfort trump everything else, and that is canon, it is text, it is fact. if you have any canonical examples of aziraphale being genuinely kind simply to be kind, not to be selfishly altruistic, please do add them, i'm serious! if you think i'm wrong, prove me wrong. everything i just listed exists in canon, so please, do the same in return.

giving his sword to adam and eve six thousand years ago does not magically erase everything that came after and it does not give him a free pass to behave however he wants, no matter the cost.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #good omens meta #getting ready for the hate in 3 2 1 #it's a monday and i'm being overly sarcastic but i'm fucking tired of everyone always yelling at me and giving only one example #as if that invalidates everything i say #just fuck off instead of harassing me babes

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mirukosbitchywife · 1 year

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dabi x reader | huggles mc'cuddles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DABI!! ITS FINALLY HERE!!! i got a request for a dabi x reader cuddling fic and that is exactly what this is. just pure fluff. completely sfw it's literally just what the title suggests. this is also FOUR THOUSAND WORDS. this is my first proper fanfiction ever so it probably isn't the best but i worked really really hard on it so please be nice! i am not an actual writer i do this for funzies, constructive criticism is appreciated though! if this seems out of character for him just know i'm holding a gun from the abyss right behind him the whole time forcing him to be soft and have feelings. also there's a lot of himiko in this can u tell i love her... ive got a himiko request coming out soon! also tysm to my friend @ko-konutty for helping me edit this!! thank them for all of the capitalization and correct punctuation lmao

It's movie night at the league. The main TV is set up in the living room and the tables are filled with pizza boxes along with various snacks catered to everyone's individual tastes (Like the blood pouches Himiko demands). It's finally your turn to choose the night's movie. And you, naturally, pick your favorite. It results in some groaning over having to watch it again, which you so diligently ignore.

Quickly pressing the play button, you all start grabbing your food and get settled into your seats to watch. The arrangements end up with you and Dabi on a couch together, Toga and Twice squeezing themselves onto one chair- and Shigaraki, who claimed an arm chair at his own corner where he played with his switch. Not even pretending to pay attention to the movie since he's seen it at least three times already. Spinner and Magne are sat right next to him on two bean bags, which are actually facing the TV. And lastly, sat further away from the group, are Kurogiri and Mr. Compress. Chatting in low voices. You can see as Kurogiri makes Sako a drink at the bar; making an effort to not disturb anyone who is paying attention.

Really, everything should've been fine. You're surrounded by the people you dare call friends, with food and snacks along with your favorite movie playing. But you just can't help but be stuck in a bad mood.

Your entire month had pretty much been shit. Well- your entire year really. And you just. Really really needed a hug right now.

As much as you tried to pay attention to your favorite movie and try to eat your meal before it got cold, you just couldn't focus for a second. Normally, you'd be eating and chatting with everyone else. You're typically giving commentary on the movie and/or reciting lines, but this time you just couldn't drown out your thoughts.

As a matter of fact, you'd been so deep in your own head that you didn't even notice the concerned glances thrown your way from multiple members of the league over the fact that you've been quiet throughout the entire movie.

Hell, you didn't even notice the curious bright blue eyes burning holes onto the side of your head from the opposite end of the couch. Not 'til a rough voice startled you from your thoughts.

"You alright?" Dabi asked lowly.

He had leaned closer. You had never been so close to the man before- his face just a few inches from yours in order to not be heard by anyone else, giving you the illusion of privacy. You could clearly see the concern in his eyes while asking, despite the rest of his face seeming blank.

He'd never admit to concern. But in all honesty you'd all been getting quite closer these past few months together. And you knew he actually cared about everyone in the league.

Especially you.

Who so far has been the most resistant to the "Family bonding time" as Himiko liked to call it.

Despite him asking you a question- you couldn't stop yourself from admiring just how pretty he was. Especially this close up. His beautiful blue eyes, his facial piercings, the little frown he sets when he's trying to put on his blank expression.

He watches as you start to zone out in real time, but just before you can get completely lost in your thoughts again- he snaps his fingers in front of your face.

“Mmmmhmm" you hum.

You're still distracted looking at the staples lining his skin, not paying much attention to his words. Surveying the room in order to continue to not make eye contact- you easily spot two heads already peering back at you. Making both Himiko and Jin freeze while they were 'sneaking' you concerned glances from their shared chair.

Ignoring them for now, and having let the silence stretch a little too long, you eventually bring your eyes back up to meet the intense blue ones of the man at your side. You watch as he huffs at your lack of an answer, flopping back on the seat he claimed as his own.

He wants to let it drop there, it's clear you don't want to talk about whatever's bothering you with him. He should just go back to watching the movie. So, that's what he does. … For a few minutes.

But he just can't stop the concern he feels over your odd behavior tonight. He's debating on whether or not to question you again- only to notice he's been unconsciously bouncing his leg. Deciding to just bite the bullet, he chooses a different approach.

Making sure he catches your eye this time- he asks again. "Seriously. You alright? You're completely out of it today."

And as soon as the words leave his mouth, he can literally see the cogs turning in your mind. It's as clear as day you want to ask him something, it's written all over your face. And in a surprising act of patience- he stays quiet. Allowing you time to fully form your thoughts.

This turned out to be the right move as you start speaking after a moment of silence.

"Could you.... could I get a hug?" you ask hesitantly.

Looking up at him from under your lashes, fidgeting with your hands, clearly nervous about his answer. But trying to appear unaffected. He can't even focus on your face though, because as soon as you asked, his eyes blew wide, his heartbeat picked up, and he was speechless. He's absolutely floored by your question as people don't tend to just ask him things like that.

At his silence you were starting to feel disheartened. Opening your mouth to quickly backtrack and apologize for asking but he interrupts that train of thought with a soft sigh before you can get the words out.

"You...want a.. hug?" He asks in a voice you've never heard from him before.

He's unable to look you in the eye to hear your answer- even if he's sure of what it's going to be since it is what you asked afterall. But It doesn't change the fact that his heart is racing just at the thought.

Lifting his eyes up to keep them from going back to your face: He spots Himiko and Jin on their shared chair. Right behind your head to his view on the couch. Both vigorously nodding their heads along to your request- encouraging him to agree.

…

As if he would deny you anything.

You may have only known each for a few months, but he's developed quite a soft spot for you over that time. This fact goes unnoticed by you, but not the rest of your friends as he's frequently teased about it by Himiko damn near daily. The teasing often leading to him storming out of whatever room he's in with a light pink blush dusting the healthy parts of his face, only to get teased by other members as soon as he's spotted fleeing Himiko.

He only meets your gaze again when he sees Himiko miming stabbing him if he refuses.

Turning back to face you- he sees your face is fully lit up by the TV. Bringing his attention to the dark circles under your eyes. He's honestly unsure of how he hadn't seen them before. Now that he's paying attention, he also sees the exhaustion in your body language. You've slumped into yourself, looking incredibly tense. He has no clue how long you've been like this without any one of them noticing.

But in their defense, you're not particularly close to anyone here. Always staying on the sidelines, always by yourself- Even when invited to hang out by the more friendly members of the league, You've made sure to keep your distance from them, your walls built up high around you. They can see it though. The way you're hurting yourself more by keeping a distance from them, refusing to get attached to anyone. They can see how you're suffering alone.

They see it so clearly, they've all been in your exact position. They WERE in your exact position right before they found the league. And they know that as much as they want to- they can't just force it. They can't force you to open up to them and be part of the family they’ve made. They have to wait for you to be open to reaching out. To want to form bonds again. And- here you are. Finally starting to break out from the hard shell you have around them, seeking comfort.

And you're asking for it from him of all people?

"Yeah.. if it's okay with you? You're just.. really warm." You explain in a soft voice, afraid of him denying you after you barely managed to find the courage to ask in the first place.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Sure. Of course." He rambles nervously, heart racing in anticipation at the idea.

He's quick to move. Settling fully on the couch in a position that'll be comfortable for the both of you. As soon as he's found it, he opens his arms in invitation- making it so that his lap is completely free for however you want to place yourself.

Despite his easy acceptance, when you easily slide yourself onto his lap- he can't help but tense up. He's reeling over being the recipient of such attention; despite him having expected it. However, he's no where near uncomfortable with the closeness.

You clearly already had an idea of how you wanted the hug to go before asking him as you wasted no time situating yourself over his lap to face him, chest to chest. Your knees bracketing his hips on the couch and wrapping your arms around his waist. You slump forward against him, hooking your chin over his shoulder, and nuzzle into his neck slightly before settling down. Completely comfortable on his lap now.

Once you're still; you feel hands that are almost too hot wrap around your back, pulling you forward the last bit so you're both pressed flush against each other. Those hands then move around your waist to form a light hold.

He's been tense the entire time. That is until you snake your hand up to the top of his head- lightly running your fingers through his soft white hair. Gently scratching his scalp with your nails. The sigh he lets out as he melts into your touch ruffles your hair, but you pay no mind to it.

What you do pay attention to is the fact that this is the first time you'd ever been this close to him. Hell, this is the closest you've been to anyone in years. And the main thing that captures your attention is his surprisingly nice scent. You can easily smell the scent of smoke and nicotine that clings onto him at all times, but even beyond that- you notice the smell of the strawberry shampoo Himiko uses. Along with the faintest scent of snow. You never would've guessed it but somehow it fits now that youre smelling it on him.

Being chest to chest with him you also note how warm he is. You've already known this but being this close? It makes it entirely different. You can just feel the heat seeping into your bones. Relaxing your muscles even further. The thought of seeking him out again after a fight to use him as a personal hot pack crosses your mind briefly and you huff a laugh into his shoulder at the thought.

He didn't even feel it, since unknown to you: Dabi's mind has been running wild since the moment you asked him for the hug. And in all honesty, he didn't really know what he had been expecting after asking if you were alright. But this situation definitely was not it.

Still, he's stuck on one thing, he just doesn't really understand why you chose him to request a hug from. Sure he was questioning if you were alright and was right there next to you, but if you just wanted a hug- Why not approach Himiko any of the times you saw her this week? Or even Jin or Spinner? Hell, maybe even Compress!

They're the more welcoming members of the league. Not him. He's not exactly what he'd call approachable. People are usually so scared by his appearance; or at the very least put off at first. He's not really a person most people would look to for a hug. Yet here you are- cuddled up on his lap.

He's not exactly a stranger to being hugged- everyone in the league is aware of Himiko's clinginess after all. But the fact that he was your first choice? Now that added a lot more impact. It's not as if you deny hugs from the other members, you've just never initiated them like you did with him.

That's never happened to him.

He's never been picked first for nearly anything, let alone comfort.

He's not even anyone's first choice of comfort in the league. It's not like he holds it against any one of them, but they all do have members they're closer to than him, and he's fine with that. He's content on his own most of the time, even if he does secretly treasure when the entire league is together the most. Even despite acting as if he didn't enjoy their company.

But, here you are. Taking a wrecking ball to everything he's used to and making him feel warmer than he has in a while. And not in a way relating to his quirk whatsoever. The revelation hits him hard as he unknowingly started to grip your shirt tightly in his fists, balling up the material, but you don't feel it. Already having fallen into a sleepy half asleep state against his shoulders- completely unaware of the way you've made his thoughts race.

You're enjoying the comfort from him as much as possible, especially since it's been over half an hour since the hug started and he still hasn't pushed you off. You're determined to stay here as long as he'll let you. You want to see if he'll let you stay on his lap long enough for you to fall asleep. You're fine sleeping right here, you just want to see if you'd finally be able to sleep for a whole night without nightmares if there's someone with you while you rest, craving just one night with a full 8 hours of sleep.

He only snaps out of his thoughts when he can physically feel Himiko glaring daggers into his head. To put it simply- If looks could kill, he'd be dead. Confused as to what he did, he looks down at you and sees you. Struggling to keep your eyes open, lightly rubbing your face against his shoulder. You had moved to rest your cheek on it instead of your chin, facing his neck, while he was zoned out. He was so out of it he hadn't noticed the soft breathing against his skin until just this second.

Having now been roused from his thoughts, he looks at the time. Taking note of the way you're quickly losing your fight with sleep- he moves for the first time since you climbed on his lap. He's intent on bringing you to your bed, as he doesn't know if he'll have the heart to wake you if you fell asleep on him, and he doesn't want to pick you up while asleep either, in order to not disturb you. He doesn't know how light of a sleeper you are and he's not willing to find out.

He also didn't want you sleeping on the couch anyway. Especially now that they finally have a hideout where everyone gets their own rooms; therefore you have your own perfectly fine bed. Which is much better than a couch. He easily slides his hands under your thighs to lift you up, making it so that you won't have to detach from him until you get to your room, and allowing you to rest against him for a little longer. You let out a quiet yelp in surprise, making a couple members look over at you two when he stands. But- other than Himiko sticking her tongue out at him when he passes her- there's no reaction from anyone else when he starts walking towards the hallway that'll lead to your room, with you, of course, still in his arms.

Your door is unlocked, as it always is because even if you're not close to the league, you trust them. That makes it much easier for Dabi to get in without needing to move you or put you down. Walking in, he can't help but notice the somewhat sparse decorations in your room.

He's not the kind of guy to snoop, but he's interested to see the parts of your personality that he'll be able to pick up from your room. He is the first person you've ever allowed inside afterall. And looking in just from the doorway- he notices a couple posters on your walls. Mainly musical artists and video games from the swift surveying glances he gives them. He also notes one poster ripped at the corner, but keeps walking until he passes your vanity, where he stops for a moment, he sees pictures scattered across the mirrors borders, some having people cut or scratched out of them. He also takes note of the little things you have there on the surface, like the necklace you made with a bead Mr. Compress gave you, along with your collection of makeup, some of which he knows you use in costume, some of which you got from Magne.

Not wanting to spend too much time looking about, making you question why he stopped. So, he continues on towards your bed where he admires the fairy lights you've set up. On your pillows he also spots the bunny plushie Himiko gave you when she found out they're your favorite animal. In all honesty- seeing you having so many gifts from the other members makes him feel a little jealous. He didn't even know you were friendly enough with some of them to receive gifts from.

He wants to give you something that you'll keep with you too, the issue is: He has no idea how to pick out gifts. Maybe one day he'll suck it up and swallow his pride for you to ask Himiko. He knows she'll help him- he just doesn't know if he could take the teasing that would come.

Dismissing that line of thought with a quick shake of his head, he approaches your bedside, bending over it slightly so that you'll fall over it when you release your hold on him.

Except-

instead of releasing and getting into bed, you surprise him for a second time that night by gripping his middle tighter and whining softly. He freezes in place as soon as you do and you start to tense up, worried that maybe you pushed too far by doing that, but before you can move, he speaks up. However, all he does is whisper quietly to you:

“Y’sure you want me to join you, Sweetheart?”

and you can swear you heard his voice break in the middle of asking that, but you don't point it out. You're too embarrassed over your request to actually verbally ask for him to stay with you until you fell asleep, so you just nod against his shoulder, hoping he'll take that as your answer and you won't have to speak up.

Thankfully for you, after that confirmation, he silently stands back up, with you still hanging onto him, and begins to shuffle into your bed, getting the both of you under your plush comforter, one arm wrapped around you the whole time he's moving. He doesn't say another word, he just lies on his back, with you now straddling his abdomen.

Still slightly embarrassed about the situation despite his easy acceptance to your request, you choose to not say anything for now. All you do is readjust yourself and get comfortable. Since he got in bed with you still on top of him, you assume it's alright if you don't get up from where you are.

Because you really don't want to end the most comfortable hug of your life so soon, that's the main reason you didn't want him to leave. But you'll also secretly admit to yourself that you asking him to stay was a bit selfish, as youve wanted to spend more time with him as well. Even if you haven't talked much to each other tonight, this entire ordeal has been a big experience for you. Tonight is the first time you've let your walls down even the slightest bit around another person in years. But what you're not anticipating is the fact that this move is also the first step to joining the makeshift family the league has formed. .

The family they've been trying to bring you into for weeks.

You're lying on top of him in a very similar position to the one y'all were in in the common area. The only real difference now is how you've fully stretched out your legs, and that your face is pressed into his neck instead of his shoulder, fully facing him now.

Once you're done moving about, his arms come back up around you to rest his warm hands against the dip of your back, which makes you release a sleepy sigh. Fully content to surrender to the darkness calling you to rest; there's something bothering you, keeping you from giving in yet. There's one more thing you need to do before you fall asleep. Moving your head up so you can make eye contact with him nstead of his neck, you mumble in a low voice:

“Thank you for this… G’night Dabi."

He doesn't give a response, he just hums and tightens his arms around you. But he doesn't need to say anything, as you're fully asleep within a minute after having said your parting. The heat of his body was making the call of sleep even more irresistible, and now that you said what you wanted to, you were able to give into it. As you fall asleep, you've started to unconsciously grip Dabi’s shirt tightly, curling the fabric around your firsts; as if subconsciously afraid he'd leave you right after you drift off. But of course he doesn't do that.

He would never do that to you.

Instead, he waits until he's sure you're deeply sleeping, listening to the soft sound of your even breathing against his skin, before his eyes find your face. Soaking up every detail he can make out in the low light of your bedroom, he lets himself appreciate your beauty. The only light in the room being from the string of fairy lights within the room; but that's enough for him right now.

In the stillness of your bedroom, with the only movement coming from you contently sleeping over him in your huddle, he finally allows his tears of blood to fall from his eyes. The ones he's been holding off ever since you let him into your room. The urge had only increased as you continued to cling to him, then shocking him by allowing him on your bed with you, to provide you the comfort you've been craving through the night. It had all become too much for him to hold back now that you're unable to see him.

The show of trust hits him hard as he lies there, crying silently as he grips you tighter, as if you're the only thing keeping him from floating away. The fact that he's the first person you've ever let into your room, and probably the first person to hold you like this in a while, if ever, makes his heart beat erratically in his chest. Your show of vulnerability to him of all people is doing something to him. He didn't even realize how cold he had grown until he was shown the lightest bit of sunshine and immediately began to thaw.

You choosing him to be vulnerable with already has him craving being vulnerable back. Already considering how he might initiate the hug next time- desperately wanting this to become a common occurrence.

And under the bed of night, as crimson tears still flowed, he whispered back to your sleeping form.

"Thank you too.. Goodnight.." as he places a kiss to the crown of your head.

For the first time in maybe his whole life, he doesn't fall asleep in pain or to the deafening noise of his thoughts screaming at him, which are filled with intrusive thoughts that sound suspiciously like his father. No. Instead, he falls asleep under you, feeling truly appreciated and wanted for the first time. The smile that spread across his face before falling victim to the lull of your gentle breathing stays on his face the entire night, never even once interrupted by the nightmares of his past he typically deals with every night.

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championashley · 4 months

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Ten, Fourteen, and Fifteen - Romance and Emotional Expression

Ok. I want to talk about something intriguing me for a while. For a long time, I was under the perception that Ten was very romantic and very flirtatious. And I think the reason I had this idea is because out of all of the modern incarnations, he was more often placed in romantic situations. Rose, Madame de Pompadour, Martha had a crush on him, often got flirted with by random people, and even got married to Liz 1. But this perception is ultimately inaccurate because it doesn’t take into account what Ten thinks about these situations: in every single situation there is some level of barrier either naturally there, or one he put up himself.

Despite loving her, The Doctor doesn't share aspects of his life with Rose, like past companions. He balked at saying “I love you” to her on two separate occasions. He cared deeply about her, yet still didn’t feel comfortable sharing all of the heartbreak and pain he��s had to carry.

Having MDP inside his head and hearing River say his name back to him visibly terrified him. Martha was obviously a dud, his proposal to Elizabeth 1 was on suspicion of her being a Zygon (he literally jetted out after marrying her), and the times we do see people flirting with him, he normally either doesn’t react or reacts awkwardly.

"Considering my enemy has such a...handsome shape." "Now, that's one form of magic that's definitely not gonna work on me."

"You should see me in the mornings." "Ok." is visibly stunned at Astrid's implications

This collective amnesia the fandom used to harbor towards this topic is similar to that of the Doctor’s own philosophy about the topic. We see the surface-level attempts that ultimately act as a smokescreen to the truth: that the Doctor’s trauma and PTSD from the Time War prohibit them from being emotionally vulnerable. Donna, who we’ll get to later, nails this on the head: “You talk all the time, but you don’t say anything.” Because to love someone else romantically, even to entertain the idea via flirtation, means accepting the possibility of having someone else seeing you in all of your flattering and unflattering ways. The Doctor wasn’t ready for that yet, still steeped in the guilt of all the things they had to do in the war.

Fast forward thousands of years, 3 regenerations, and things have changed. In an attempt to cope with yet another traumatic event, The Doctor returns to the old face of Ten. But as we see throughout the specials, this attempt to cope (or more accurately avoid their trauma) doesn’t work, because the Doctor is trying to slip back into an identity that they can’t perform anymore. When Fourteen comments on how attractive Isaac Newton is, it surprises him because that action is not something Ten would’ve done. It’s that weird feeling you get when you look at a photograph of yourself when you were younger. The Doctor can’t love someone in the semi-detached way he did with Rose, because Twelve spent 24 years loving River. The Doctor is no longer drowning in the guilt caused by the Time War, a pillar of Ten’s self-perception because they saved it. And in all honesty, The Doctor internally doesn’t even want to do so anymore.

Donna is vital to this contrast between Ten and Fourteen simply down to her relationship with the Doctor: best friends. I made a full explanation about the significance of Donna in my dissertation about The Giggle’s ending here x, but to sum up: Donna is The Doctor’s most important relationship because she truly understands what it means to be The Doctor simply down her ability to empathize and relate to how they feel. However, one aspect of their dynamic that I didn’t go into, and one that has already been pointed out by many people, is that their relationship is inherently non-romantic. Donna and The Doctor are best friends. There’s no possibility of them becoming an item, and this in an oxymoronic way, makes her the perfect companion to cultivate a more romantically open Doctor. Donna acts as a mental safety net for Fourteen, allowing him to feel comfortable openly expressing attraction to other people as the basis of their friendship is based on a deep sense of love and support that isn’t romantic. Fourteen doesn’t feel afraid or scared to express his love because he already has a stable place of love to return to. An idea that Donna correctly points out in The Giggle: “You changed your face. And you found me. Do you know why? [...] To come home.”

This environment of stable love is what led Fourteen to eventually change into Fifteen. But it gets better.

You see, as I was watching Church on Ruby Road, there was something about Fifteen’s entire attitude that felt familiar to me. Specifically the open flirtation with Cherry (a marked contrast from Jackie and Nine). It was only in rewatching Utopia recently that it clicked. it was similar to Jack. See, the way I’ve always read Jack’s style of flirting is in appreciation of beauty as a whole. He flirts with everyone because he sees everyone as beautiful and feels comfortable telling them that. And you know who famously rubbed against that? The Doctor, Nine but also Ten.

The Doctor may have been uncomfortable with Jack’s flirting because he couldn’t possibly imagine being so open with expressing attraction of any kind, due to being so broken and traumatized after the Time War. But now The Doctor has worked through that enough to where they can be more comfortable expressing their emotions and their feelings. This is most perfectly encapsulated with Cherry but also, funnily enough, the moment with the police officer. Fifteen identifies that the officer has a girlfriend, and proceeds to spell out how much the man loves her and how he believes that love will be reciprocated. He makes this complete stranger feel happy and beautiful by reaffirming the love he feels towards his girlfriend. Fifteen wears his two hearts on his sleeve and feels perfectly comfortable making other people feel beautiful in flirtatious and non-flirtatious ways. He is a bonafide romantic in both senses of the word:

1. conductive to or characterized by the expression of love.

2. of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality.

And to wrap all of this up in a neat bow, this wraps all the way back to how each incarnation was initially brought into the world. It’s said in the show that the first relationship a new incarnation has ends up being their most important, the most defining of their existence. Eleven’s was Amy, Twelve’s was Clara.

Ten’s was Rose, in that she was the first person he saw, but also that the reason he existed was to solely save her (Nine taking the Time Vortex out of her with a kiss). Ten was born out of love felt between two people, and as such tied so much of his self-perception to that type of dynamic. Not just in that once Rose was gone, but once he was without any second person in the TARDIS, he started spiraling into madness. Ten existed because of romantic love, but he couldn’t entirely express it due to his trauma, yet without any level of companionship, he deteriorated. A tragic paradox.

Fifteen was born from not only familial/platonic love cultivated by years spent with Donna, Wilf, Mel, Rose, Shaun, and Sylvia, but also love from himself. The Doctor didn’t repeat the (albeit understandable) mistake of taking on an outgrown identity because they finally felt safe enough to make that change. The first face Fifteen saw was Fourteen, The Doctor who looked upon his younger, scared, broken self with glee, empathy, and love. Fifteen’s love knows no restriction, whether that’s self-loathing, or fear of being known by others.

Ten was born from Eros (romantic/sexual love) despite not allowing himself to feel it, Fourteen was supported by Storge (family/friendship love), so Fifteen can embody Agape (love of humanity) sustained by Philautia (self-love).

#doctor who #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #donna noble #dw spoilers #dw meta #doctor who meta #meta writing #let this also be my petition for letting fifteen and jack meet somehow #recast barrowman or a comic will do #or make that fanfic ill read it

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hotvintagepoll · 2 months

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Propaganda

Dolores Hart (Wild is the Wind, King Creole)—She's the only famous movie star I know who gave up her career to become a nun, which is interesting.

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Dolores Hart propaganda:

Eartha Kitt propaganda:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist.

#eartha kitt #dolores hart #hotvintagepoll #ladies 1 #fuck that old woman #....dolores honey i'm so sorry that propaganda sucks

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mistymandalas · 7 months

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wind waker is legitimately so angsty

Spoilers ig

also tw for mentions of murder

OOT’s world is dead. Drowned beneath the waves by the hand of the gods they worshipped. It is a relic of the past that only serves as a place for the master sword and a prison for Tetra. On top of that, Gannondorf is a bitter old man now, caught in the past of his failures, the death of his entire people. He is the only gerudo left in WW. And at the end of everything, Gannondorf feels the winds that always meant death for his people, this time coming for him.

the pirates legitimately thought link died after being thrown off the tower at the forsaken fortress. Grandma, in your absence, has grown sick and is slipping in and out of consciousness when you find her. And if you’ve ever seen one the Redeads from wind waker you’ve known true fear lol

and the only person who are actually doing anything are children. Link, Tetra, Medli, Makar (whose age is debatable but he’s young in korok years so shhhhh). When you get to rito village medli is the first person to do something about Valoo. None of the adults volunteer to help save Aryll. Makar and Medli take the role of the new sages, one of which is still getting the hang of flying.

and the past sages? Oh yeah Gannon murdered them.

The ideas and standards of the past are no longer relevant- in fact, they hinder the protagonists. Mostly Tetra. She gets an entire makeover from the king of red lions, whitewashed, and is told that she must stay in this dusty old castle a thousand miles from home ‘for her protection’.

And it dosen’t even matter in the end, because she gets kidnapped anyways. She would have been safer with her crew, where she belongs, and where her wisdom actually applies: her knowledge of the world and the people and the sea. She certainly knows more than link does (saves his life multiple times and is instrumental to the 1st half of the game), yet because of her ‘role to play’, she has to play princess while the real work is being done.

the goddess that were so present in OOT have drowned Hyrule and all its people. You meet three whole Goron’s in the game, with no mention of where the rest of them are or if they have been reduced to traveling merchants. As mentioned, the gerudo are extinct. Presumably, countless hylians were left to drown when the great sea came.

at the end of the game, I feel like it’s one of the only games that shows you how TIRED link is. And how young he is. He collapses after the fight with gannondorf is over, clutching his injured arm and staring at Gannondorfs dead body. That he has just STABBED IN THE HEAD. (Side note: up until this point link has done this silly little happy dance when he defeats a boss, jumping up in the air and pumping his fists. It is that much more striking when the final battle, full of dramatics and speeches and harsh color pallets, is served in silence. Link looks absolutely haunted by his actions).

Gannondorf towers over him, and dosent even give him the choice to fight him at first. He punches a literal child because he cannot afford to lose again. Link leaves him and the last remains of Hyrule to drown.

all of this is wrapped and packaged under this timeless cartoon artstyle that people take (or took) one look at and decide is a children’s game. All my Linked universe fans, this I feel like also applies to Wind. He’s almost 14, has killed a man and looked him in the eyes while he did it, yet the chain takes hits for him and underestimate his talent.

this game is so relevant to today it’s scary. The loss of land, the emphasis on how the next generation is what matters, how Gannon and the King look at the great sea and only see it for what is was and not what it is now, how beautiful and exciting it is for Link and Tetra. I love wind waker to pieces.

anyways thanks for coming to my Ted talk pls remember to drink water, do some stretches and take care of urself!! <333

#Really went on a tangent there wow #wind lu #linked universe #wind linked universe #wind waker

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andreal831 · 8 months

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Elijah and the Red Door

Elijah Mikaelson's red door is metaphorical and people take it too literal sometimes.

Initially, it was a physical door from his human days where he first kissed Tatia and then inevitably laid her body after her death. Shortly after, the door became a representation of the hidden space in his mind that Esther created so he didn't have to live with the fact that he accidentally killed Tatia. It inadvertently became a place where Elijah hid away memories he couldn't handle remembering.

In Season 2, Esther forces these memories out of Elijah, making him remember Tatia's death and the rest of the memories he had hidden there. We only see two memories on the show come forward -- what he did to Tatia and to Aurora. The show doesn't tell us if any other secrets were kept there. But we do know that even before this Elijah remembers a lot of things he has done in the past that he regrets, such as leaving Aya behind, not preventing Klaus' curse, and Celeste's death. So it doesn't appear that he had a lot of hidden memories there. I think killing random people ranks under these events.

When Hayley goes behind the red door, I've seen a lot of people say this is a memory of his, however, I believe it merely represents the monster he is afraid of becoming but believes he is deep inside.

First, the timeline doesn't make sense from what we know of their life. The Mikaelsons are turned sometime in late 1001, we don't know how much time goes by between when they are turned and when they have to flee North America, however, the red door is not created until Tatia's death. Quickly after her death, Esther chains Klaus' wolf side, Klaus kills Esther, and then they have to flee North America. We next see them about 6 months later in Europe, having traded their Viking clothes for more peasant-like clothing. While it's possible they held on to their Viking fighting gear, we don't see it again.

Additionally, we see Elijah scold his brothers for not being careful with their killings. If Elijah had massacred a whole village and then forgotten, Kol and Klaus would have been quick to remind him. They wouldn't let Elijah get away with scolding them if he had been just as bad, if not worse. Potentially Elijah could have snuck off without them realizing, but it is clear from Kol and Finn that they have all stuck closely together. Also, "Red Door Elijah" is seen as being irrational. I don't think he would have cared to keep it a secret.

Finally, at the time Hayley goes in there, the memories have already been released. It is no longer the place where he keeps memories he fears.

So instead of what Hayley sees in his mind as a memory, I see it as the place where he kept his remaining fears locked away. He feared becoming a monster who had no remorse. He kept his fear of being a monster in the same place he had kept the memories of his most monstrous deeds. He was in Viking gear because he feared becoming his father by hurting the people he cared for in the name of power/strength.

I know people want it to be a true memory so they can say Elijah is worse than Klaus, but those actions don't make sense with his character. All vampires have the potential to become a "red door" version of themselves, but it is their desire to be better that separates them. Klaus allows himself to live as a remorseless vampire for a thousand years, while we see Elijah constantly struggling with his decisions and regrets. Yes, he does become apathetic to human life, but we still see him having some standards -- like stating he doesn't feed from children.

If Elijah truly was the monster behind the red door, we would have seen it when Hayley died in season 1 or 5, when Dhalia was nearly killing his whole family, when Celeste died, when he thought Klaus drowned his whole family, when Marcel or Lucein was upgraded and attacked him. There were so many opportunities for him to be angry/scared enough to lose control and even turn off his humanity (if that's possible) but he never did. Klaus teases him about it one of the few times we even see his vampire face because it is that rare for him to even lose that much control in a fight.

So no, I don't believe Elijah ever murdered an entire village just because. Do I think he is capable, yes. If he felt it would save his family, he would do it. And he likely left villages behind knowing Mikael would do just that. But with the timeline and the character of Elijah, I don't see him even losing control and doing that himself.

#tvdu #elijah mikealson #tvd #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson #the mikaelsons #the originals #hayley marshall #the red door #kol mikaelson

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flowerflamestars · 5 months

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Another alternative Effloresce pov. Azriel, as the slow moving shitshow train wreck his life is is quickly becoming a fast moving shit show train wreck.

I cannot tell you how much I love this one!

So, I would say across all my fics Azriel is a character who is the most consistent? Especially since almost all of them were written before acosf TERRIBLY let us in his actually creepy little headspace, and I've additionally chosen to keep my made up shadowman as he is.

Effloresce Az is basically Starlight Az but SADDER. He's Daylight Az without a kiddo and husband, Shoreless Sea Az without the absolutely beneficial retirement, and man is he TIRED.

You're Azriel, and your job sucks. Your inborn skillset leaves you zero other options, and you know this. It's better to be the left hand of power than in a cell for life, but you know what? Sometimes you can only do so goddamn much.

You're Azriel and that's kind of all you've got. You're one of a kind, literally. Alone forever in that. But you love Cassian. You play the little games with Mor for harmony. You respect- alien, ancient, different, probably what you'll feel like in a thousand goddamn years if you live that long- Amren.

You see the good in Rhysand, limited as it is to personal things, but you also see the vast potential for failure.

You see him listening to this CHILD OF A GIRL- who seems nice, yeah. You're worried about her, frankly. The Courts of Prythian revived her and will not just let that go- but that doesn't mean you think she has, shall we say, good ideas.

You watch Cassian spend days arguing against this.

You rock up over the wall and realize these two mortal, innocent women have probably been taken captive by Spring. Your orders are a mistake, you have a war to fight that has nothing to do with these people, but you're here, and you might as well do some good.

You move to neutralize the threat.

Lucien Vanserra does not act like a vassal of Spring. No, not even at Autumn prince. You can drown fire in the dark, but you can't swallow the sun or an ocean of flame without end.

That doesn't matter either, because this determined little slip of blond sunshine just fucking stabbed you. And for the first time in maybe decades, you just want to laugh. You've fucked up, clearly, but you're okay. (You can live through so much worse than letting a human woman stab you to feel safe.)

You hear Cassian coming, and you know.

It doesn't matter what Feyre is saying. Has said. You're Azriel and you can't not know or not hear- she's wrong or she lied. You have a High Lord sweating blood to protect a stunningly, dangerously charming woman and you have her sister, who feels less like delight and more like a dream.

You're a shadowsinger, whose providence is secrets and these two woman are shrouded.

You're fucked, essentially.

You know they're not really human.

You know they're hiding, and Feyre is going to break that right open if Rhysand has his way, no matter how many times you point out that the Queens want nothing to do with Prythian's fae.

You're Azriel, and you've always been smart enough to stay quiet when you have no orders forcing you to do otherwise. You're polite. You're frankly, horrified. You have no idea what to do with the Archeron sisters acting like you're nothing to be afraid of.

You know, before Cassian knows, that every wind that has ever carried him had lead him right here.

(You remember what that felt like. The fear, the euphoria. You were young and stupid enough to consider it simple rightness, your extra senses on your side, pulling you toward the correct choice in fealty. You didn't know what it was until too late. You didn't know and you never even got to know or got to mourn. You didn't have the right to mourn a girl dead too soon, who would have never been anything but your queen had she grown old enough to wear a crown.)

(Dead before the start, just like you.)

You decide, immediately, you cannot let what happened to you happen to Cassian. Nesta Archeron might be a compelling power, might be a fighter with ash in her hair and a cunning mind, but Shahar was a High Lady born. Not even that could save her.

You understand the instant way you like Elain is magic, whether she knows it or not. (She does not). Real affection follows quickly, you are, despite all magic to the contrary, as Illyrian as Cassian. You cannot not know. You like Nesta too- if only for her ferocity. Her bleeding, present fury.

They treat you like a person.

Fearlessly.

Easily.

You watch as their sister breaks their hearts, cracks already laid. You watch Rhysand act more and more territorial, and of course you know why too. You watch Lucien Vanserra safeguard the lives and livelihoods of hundreds of humans and you understand this, here, is a Court too.

A better one.

You quietly, a secret, kill their father.

You bind yourself in blood to a favor, and use it to unshackle the Archeron bloodline and their vassals from the Queens.

You watch Nesta Archeron kneel in the snow, watch Elain Archeron pull a knife on a High Lord of Prythian over human lives, and think, with dread and barren exhaustion, you're making the right choice.

The hard choice.

(How many noncombatants died in Sangravah? In every city Amarantha occupied? How many servants in the Hewn City every year? How many Illyrian children in the starving north? How many deaths were Azriel's fault, because Rhysand didn't care?)

(The Archerons would rather die with their people than live. Were educating their maids. Sending their kitchen boys to university. Taking in the orphans of other estates, having never forgotten what it was to be forgotten, hungry and alone.)

You're Azriel, and you can't not know how badly this is going to hurt.

#FAST MOVING TRAIN WRECK AHOY #I only covered what's posted because the next chapter is truly #THE BONES OF MY SOUL IN MY HANDS THE WORLD ON FIRE AND I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE BUT MORE DEATH #from Az's POV #he takes finding Shahars remains NOT WELL #plus you know #the war kickstarts #Cassian continues to act basically insane in a good way #And Nesta and Elain just keep raising the goddamn bar he was trying to ignore even existed #The Shahar stuff is actually really important #he does not tell Rhys #EVER!#Bones are literally he closest he's ever going to come #they weren't in love #they didn't even know each other #HE DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL SHE DIED #and of course #Rhys made that entirely about himself #Az just. I think he likes Feyre in this impish way canon always wants Cassian to (but then Cassian put her on such a high altar it failed)#but also? is too deep in the shit of it all #not to be like: she's a really powerful symbol #but she shouldn't be in charge????

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