#this is my first art on our new ipad and its so weird how small it looks on a phone screen :0

[pusangkambing]

Wife (っ˘ω˘ς )

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv haley #haley sdv #have art of my sdv wife whom i love very much while i finish another drawing ^-^ #this is my first art on our new ipad and its so weird how small it looks on a phone screen :0 #i am the sunflower and she is the sun uwu

[thecleverdame]

TTWDBI - Eight

Part Eight - Deceit

Masterlist

Summary: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader - Sam is young, powerful and comes from one of the wealthiest families in New York. When he meets an Omega bartender who’s far from what his family expects, Sam is forced to make a series of hard choices.

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, smut, knotting, breeding, dominance, ownership, angst, family drama. This chapter contains an attempted sexual assault, actual physical assault, and talk of past abuse.

Words: 6.5k

Beta: @ilikaicalie -

Part Nine is currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

“Where are we going?” You peek out of the walk-in closet. “I need a few details. I don’t know what to pack.”

“Just pack everything.” Sam’s distracted, staring down his iPad with a stylus between his teeth.

“Winter everything or warm weather everything?” You slink out into the bedroom. “Come on, just a hint. Just tell me...are we staying in the state or are we going somewhere more exotic.”

“Nope.” He quips, marking notes on the digital screen.

“How long are we staying? Are we driving or flying?” You persist.

He perks up a little, actually making eye contact with a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Pack enough for a week, a dress or two, something warm. A bathing suit, well, on second thought you won’t need the suit…”

“You’re awful.” You laugh, as he nips at you.

It’s been a month since Jake and things between you and Sam couldn’t be better. The last four weeks have been wonderfully uneventful and it’s given you the time to enjoy each other. In fact, you’ve discovered that the more you’re around each other, the deeper your love grows. Fate must have known what it was doing when it brought you together.

“Bring that black thing with all the lace, the one piece. I love your ass in that.”

“Maybe.” You smile, pulling the aforementioned neglige from the hanger and carefully folding it into the suitcase. “How many bags can I bring with me?”

“As many as you want we’re taking my dad’s plane so you can - fuck!”

“Aha!” You jump back out of the closet, to find Sam shaking his head, glaring at you. “We’re taking a plane somewhere. Out of the state? Out of the country?”

“You think you’re so slick.” He puts down the iPad and stands up, moving toward you. “You’re just going to have wait until tomorrow.”

“Come on!” You whine. “I wanna know.”

“I’m not saying another word, I might give something else away. I’ve kept it secret this long. I’m not letting you trip me up at the finish line. My lips are sealed.”

He pulls to you him, one hand around your waist, fingers curling around your back as his thumb trails over the scar on your neck.

“I’m excited.” You whisper, eyes fluttering at his touch. “I haven’t traveled much. I always wanted to, Donna and I were going to backpack through Ireland but neither of us ever had the money.”

“I’m gonna take you everywhere.” He murmurs, leans down for a light kiss. “Just wait.”

Prague, Czech Republic

The city is like a rich noir novel come to life. It’s a taste of the old world, with its decadent buildings and thick, hanging fog. It’s like living in a Bela Lugosi movie. You’ve been here for three days, with five more to go. A whole week in a place you didn’t know you loved until the plane landed and you stepped out into this strange new land.

It’s well after sunset as you walk arm-in-arm with Sam over the cobblestones.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, hot breath puffing out into the frigid night air. He places a gloved hand over yours.

“Starving.” You smile, picking up the pace.

Dinner is a five-course meal in a candlelit tavern that looks like a medieval alehouse, complete with walls of stone and soft music playing the background.  It’s a small place, only a few other couples cuddle around the aging wood tables giving the illusion of privacy. You might as well be the only ones here as you get lost in Sam, and food, and the otherworldly surroundings.

By the time the sorbet arrives you’re both so full, you can only manage a taste before sitting back, grinning like a fool. Sam looks just as happy, he’s had a smile plastered across his face since you left New York and this broad, unadulterated joy looks good on him.

“I can’t believe this is my life.” You giggle, reaching across the table, laying your hand over his.

“You like it here?” He doesn’t need to ask, he knows he picked well. He’s watched you discover art and architecture and European cuisine. He knew you had deeper interests, a desire to see more than your previous life afforded but in this place, you’re blossoming.

“It’s not just the city, it’s being here with you. Everything just feels right.” You blink back tears. ���I’ve never been able to breathe without something looming over me. I just feel so free. I love you so much.”

If it’s even possible his smile widens, dimpled cheeks rounding out.

“I love you, too.” He squeezes your fingers. “What’s been your favorite thing so far?”

“St. Vitus Cathedral at night.” You answer without even thinking about it. “I’ve never felt anything like that before, it was overwhelming and...emotional. Is that weird?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I felt the same way when I saw it for the first time. I was visiting my mom and we came here. I was eight or nine and I stood there for an hour, transfixed. We should go back. We can go tonight.”

“Really?” You confirm. “I’d love that.”

“No better time than the present.”

After dinner, you wander through the city. It’s chilly but tolerable as you stroll for the better part of an hour, talking about nothing and walking arm in arm as a fat moon rises high in the night sky.

St. Vitus rises in front of you like an architectural beacon, lighting up the night like a gothic fairy tale.

“I never wanna leave.” You whisper, feeling both of Sam’s arms wrap around you from behind.

“What do you love so much about it?” He asks softly, nuzzling into your hair.

“The city, the people...but mostly I think it’s being with you. When we’re home you work so much...I’m not complaining. I just miss you sometimes.”

“We’ve got the rest of our lives to be together.” He whispers as he releases you. You turn to look at him but he’s already on one knee, crouching in front of you.

“Sam.” You’re already crying as he tugs the glove off your left hand.

“I love you. I wanna spend my life with you.” He states simply, a sparkling ring between his fingers. “I don’t want to wait any longer to start our life together. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” You blurt out, half laughing, half crying, while he slips the ring onto your finger.

“I’m gonna make you so happy,” he whispers, standing and cradling your face between two warm hands. “I promise.”

The rest of the week is a lovesick haze. The days are spent making love and endless conversation about the details of your new life. Everything feels like it’s falling into place, life has finally come together to give you something good.

New York City

“Come in!” Mary claps her hands together, grinning wildly.

“Hi,” you gasp as she embraces you in a tight hug.

“Sam,” She releases you and reaches out to her son, kissing him on the cheek.

“Hi mom,” he grins as she pats his face. “You’re happy.”

“Well, I have a surprise for you.” She looks at you, the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on her face. “I think it’s just what we need.”

“What is it?” Sam smiles at you, taking your hand and leading the way to the study.

Rounding the corner you find two extra guests seated on the leather sofa, your parents.

You stop in your tracks as Sam tugs on your hand, turning to look between you and these new strangers. You’re locked in a staring match with your father, who’s teetering on the edge of the couch with a glass in his hand. Your mother is sitting uncomfortably beside him, these two couldn’t be more out of their comfort zone. They’ve always considered wealth in itself to be an offensive extravagance.

“Hello, Y/N.” Your father stands up, clearing his throat.

You unconsciously sidestep closer to Sam even though he’s not physically intimidating like when you were a girl, now he’s just a man in cheap trousers who no longer holds sway over your life.

“Hi, Dad.” You don’t move to greet him, there’s complete silence until your mother joins her husband, slinking past him to place a kiss on your cheek. “Mom.”

“Well, this isn’t exactly the reception I was hoping for.” Mary’s tone is painfully cheerful despite the unbearable tension.

“I’m sorry,” You pull yourself together. Turning to Sam you can’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes, you won’t be able to fake your way through this. “Sam these are my parents, Alastair and Naomi. Mom, Dad, this is Sam.”

Sam, always quick with his social graces, shakes your father’s hand and introduces himself to your mom while you are trying to formulate a plan. You were fully prepared to never see either of them again, but you find yourself in a room with two people who rival John and Mary in their cruelty.

“I just thought it was about time that we met Y/N’s parents.” Clasping her hands, Mary scrunches up her nose, smiling from you to Sam. “And what better time? You two can tell us all about Prague.”

“Actually, this is perfect.” Sam’s arm slips around your waist. “We have some news.”

“Oh?” John speaks up for the first time, tilting his head and staring at Sam. It’s amazing how much disappointment the man can convey with a single, one syllable word.

“Yeah,” Sam’s hand squeezes your hip and you look to him for the first time. He’s smiling, a bright genuine smile that even his father can’t take from him. “I asked Y/N to marry me.”

John snorts, Mary’s face contorts into a hideous expression of forced joy and your father remains stoic. It’s Naomi, your mother who has the biggest reaction, moving in to embrace you while your arms hang at your side.

“Congratulations,” she sputters, lifting your hand to see the ring. Her eyes go wide at the sight of the sizeable diamond. “Oh my gosh.”

“If she’s a wearing a ring that must mean she said yes,” Mary approaches you for a hug, nearly shoving your mother out of the way to get to you. “I wish you would have told me Sam, I could have helped with the ring.”

“I think I did alright on my own.” Sam’s grin, his eyes locked on you.

“It’s perfect.” You add, trying not to be distracted by this unexpected turn of events. This should be a happy announcement and you hate that your past is tainting the present, bleeding into your new life like an open wound that refuses to heal.

“I can’t believe you’re getting married.” Your mother has the same dulled, Stepford Wife expression she wore your entire childhood. “Marriage is such a gift, such a sacred bond.”

“Does that mean you’re happy for me?” The question comes out with an edge despite doing your best to temper the disdain.

“Of course.” She looks between you and Sam.

“Congratulations.” John’s face is even, unreadable as he approaches his youngest son.

“Thanks.” Sam accepts his father's half-hearted hug.

“Well,” Mary’s frozen in place, hands clasped together, turning to your father who hasn’t spoken or moved from his seat. “This is delightful news, isn’t it.”

“Seems backward to me.” His eyes lock onto you just like when you were a kid, so much silent contempt for what you are. He’s always resented that his daughter is an Omega. “You’re already claimed. What’s the point?”

“Dad.” You warn. Everyone is watching but all you can see is your father.

“I think it’s wonderful.”  Mary tries to intercede. “With the baby things will be-”

“Mom!” Sam hisses.

Your mother looks heartbroken and your father’s eyes narrow in on you.

“You expected me to be shocked?” He snorts. “I wouldn’t have expected anything different from our daughter. She’s always had trouble keeping her legs closed.”

“Hey,” Sam is right beside you, ready to jump but you put your arm out to stop him.

“I know what you think of me. You’ve always made that much clear.”

“And you’ve always lived up to expectations. I tried my best with you, your mother and I both did. But you and your sister never listened.”

“Tried your best?” You laugh dryly. “You treated us like we were filthy, like being an Omega meant that I was damned from the get-go.”

“You had no self-control. It was bad enough when you were little but once you presented and that first heat came it was clear what kind of women you’d end up becoming.”

“I was a child!” You shout, tears springing to life. “I needed you to love me, to protect me. I needed mom to show me how to handle myself. All either of you ever did was hurt me.”

“This is the problem with today’s society. A little discipline never harmed anyone, and you needed more than you got.”

“I can’t be here with him.” You turned to Sam who’s already wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You’re going to burn in hell. You’ve always been a whore and I knew that you-”

“Stop.” John’s booming voice cuts through the noise, snapping everyone to attention. “You can’t speak that way to her, not in my home. You should leave.”

“Gladly.” Alastair stands up, your mother following blindly just as she always has. He stops to offer you final look of disgust. “You’re in the middle of a vipers nest and you don’t even know it. I’ll pray for you.”

“Get out.” Sam pulls you against him.

-

“What an awful man.” Mary comments, tucking hair behind both your ears. You can’t stop crying and the embarrassment doesn’t help. She wipes her thumb across your cheeks. “If I had any idea I would never have invited him here.”

“All I want is to live my life, to be happy. I don’t know why that’s always been so hard for me.”

“Well, there’s nothing happier than a wedding.” She dotes, handing you a glass of water, turning to Sam who’s seated next to John at the end of the table. “Have you two talked about dates yet?”

“Next month.” Sam nods, tapping his finger on his whiskey glass.

“Next month?” She scoffs, eyes darting to John. “Why so soon?”

“She’s going to start showing at some point.”

“My son is suddenly concerned about what other people think.”

“We don’t want to wait any longer. We want to move forward as a family.” You chime in. Mary doesn’t look at you, instead takes a seat at the table.

“I think it’s a good thing.” John offers casually as the three of you turn to look at him in disbelief. “Family is important. That’s a lesson I’m still learning. I haven’t always been the most supportive, but if Sam’s happy, if you two make each other happy, then why the hell not.”

He raises a glass, tipping back the final vestiges of whiskey, his eyes never leaving you.

--

On Monday morning you’re not feeling well. Sam looks at you sideways, sipping a cup of coffee.

“You alright?” He kisses your cheek before checking his tie in the mirror beside the door.

“Just tired.” You mumble, wrapping the robe around yourself. “I didn’t sleep well.”

“Go back to bed.” He suggests, grabbing his keys off the counter, swooping in for one last kiss.

There’s a gentle buzzing coming from somewhere in the kitchen. Sam pulls away as you both look around. After a few seconds of silence, it buzzes again. Something’s vibrating.  He follows the sound to the pantry, sliding the doors open, the sound growing louder. After shifting a few canned goods around he pulls a small black flip phone from the back of the highest shelf, from behind a 5lb bag of rice.

“It’s a phone?” You ask, watching and he flips it open with his thumb.

“Yeah, it’s dying.” He holds it up, the screen is nothing but the image of a drained battery.

“How’d it get in there?” You ask as Sam hands it to you.

“No idea, must be the housekeeper’s.” He shrugs. “I gotta go, see you tonight.”

-

Sam’s knee deep in a fresh set of analytics, already late for the quarterly meeting when there’s a knock the door.

“What it is?” He asks, expecting Rowena’s head to poke around the corner. Instead, it’s Mary who steps into his office, offering him a tight smile.

“I came at a bad time?” She’s slinking toward his desk as he shuffles papers back into the proper folders.

“Sorry mom, I’m right in the middle of it. I’m already late for a meeting. Can we talk later?”

“I just need a second.” There’s a large manilla folder in her stands, clutching it like she’s holding the crown jewels.

“I’ve only got one minute, but we can get coffee later if you want to-”

“I’d like that, but I-I have to show you something.”

“What?” He’s only half paying attention. When she doesn’t speak he looks up to find her holding the folder out toward him. “What is that?”

“Before you get mad at me, I want you to hear me out.” She explains calmly.

“Mom-”

“I care about you Sam, I won’t ever feel bad for that. I know you think you love this girl but the truth is no really knows where she came from or-”

“I’m not having this discussion.” Sam rests his knuckles on the desk, leaning forward.

“She’s not who you think she is.” Mary’s flustered, unadulterated anger rising her voice. “I know you think I’m always trying to manipulate you, but I’m not the only one-”

“Please, just stop. You’re on dangerous ground. You wanna be careful what you say next. I thought you were on board. Has this whole supportive production just been an act?” He can’t believe she’s still trying to pry her way into his relationship.

“No, I’ve been trying, honestly I have.” She walks around his desk, setting the folder in front of him. “You need to look at this when you have the time.”

“What is it?”

“After I first found out you claimed an Omega I hired a private investigator to look into her background. I needed to be sure you weren’t going to end up hurt.”

“Unbelievable.” Sam shakes his head.

“Sam, he found some things you need to see before you decide to marry this woman.”

“Everybody’s got shit in their past, mom.” He throws up his hands, looking from her to the folder, unwilling to dignify this with an adequate response.

“Not like this.” Mary’s jaw clenches. “She has been busy-”

“No.” Sam interrupts, he’s had enough. “I don’t want to hear any more.”

“I hope, for your sake you look at what he found. Don’t call me, call him. His number is in there.”

Sam sighs, takes a deep breath trying to fathom what in the world his mother is up to now. He’s disgusted but interested enough to pick up the pack and slide it in with his other documents.

“You need to stay out of my life.” He grabs his jacket off the back of the chair. “Find a way to get supportive or get out. It’s one or the other, Mom. I love you, I do, but I’ve got to go.”

-

By noon you’re sick to your stomach, lightheaded and generally feeling unsettled. Figuring it’s better to be safe than sorry you call the clinic. Dr. Johnson has an open appointment the next morning so you take the slot and go back to bed.

A few hours later the cramps wake you out of dead sleep. You jolt into consciousness clutching a hand over your abdomen, sweat covering every inch of you. Something is wrong, you know it in your bones.

You get yourself in a cab and head to the nearest emergency room. You don’t want to call Sam, not yet. He and John are having an important day, meeting with investors and getting ready for the global launch of their new flagship drug. Things have been going so well even his father is coming around. You don’t want to throw a wrench in the works by overreacting.

Omegas are made to carry children. You keep repeating that to yourself as you sit in the waiting room.

After twenty minutes you’re in a triage room in a paper gown waiting for the doctor. They’ve taken a gallon of blood but no one’s told you anything.

There’s a soft knock at the door.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Tuttle. I’m told you’re not feeling so well?”

“Not the best.” You smile as he takes a seat on the stool, rubbing hand sanitizer between his hands. He flips open your chart, reading through the notes.

“Twelve weeks, no complications. You’re claimed… Sam Winchester?” His eyes snap up, glancing at the gleaming rock on your finger.

“Yeah.” You blush, covering the ring self-consciously.

“I just read an article in the New England Journal of Medicine about the work Gilead’s spearheading. It’s an exciting time in medicine.”

“Sam will happy to hear that.” You try to move on from the niceties to the issue at hand, closing your eyes as pain bubbles up from your gut.

“I’m surprised you’re here. You don’t have a personal physician? And you're alone?”

“My doctor couldn’t see me until tomorrow and I didn’t want to worry Sam unless I know something’s wrong. I didn’t think I should wait, though.”

“Smart.” He smiles. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re fine. No bleeding?”

“No, I just feel dizzy and sick to my stomach. The cramping comes and goes.”

“It’s not uncommon.” He places a hand on your arm. “Lay back for me.”

You stare at the ceiling as he gently presses on different areas of your stomach, asking about abdominal tenderness while making small talk.

There’s a knock on the door and a nurse enters the room, handing him a tablet. He reads the screen, forehead furrowing.

“The doctor you’ve been seeing, Dr. Johnson, she never mentioned you have low progesterone levels?”

“No,” You sit up, unease tightening in your chest. “Is something wrong?”

“I didn’t say that.” He shakes his head. “We’re going to do an ultrasound, just to be on the safe side.”

After a few minutes, there’s a cart wheeled into the room. One nurse is joined by two more as the doctor squirts gel onto your stomach, all four pairs of eyes silently glued to a screen you can’t see.

Dr. Tuttle clears his throat, mouth tightening. It doesn’t take a genius to gage the confused reactions of the medical team.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, tears pooling. “Did I lose my baby?”

“No.” The doctor removes the wand from your stomach. “I can’t discuss this any further with you. I have to speak with your Alpha-”

“Are you kidding me?” You’ve reached the end of your rope with this shit. This is your body, your child and you want to know now. “Tell me what’s going on, I have a right to know.”

Dr. Tuttle takes a breath, “Can I have the room please.”

“Please just tell me.” Wiping tears you wait in terrified anticipation until it’s only the two of you in the room.

“I shouldn’t do a pelvic exam without the consent of your Alpha. I could get in trouble. But I feel in this case I need to make an exception.”

“Why are you telling me that?”

“Because I need to do one. Right now.”

“This doesn’t feel right, I don’t understand what’s going on.”

“I don’t want to say anything else until I have more information.” He looks you dead in the eyes. “You’re gonna have to trust me.”

“Great.” You close your eyes, trying not to sob. “Why not.”

There’s an ultimate humiliation in not having power over your own body. You lie on the table, feet in stirrups and an arm hooked over your eyes, as the doctor performs an examination. It’s almost twenty minutes before he’s finishing poking and probing. You listen to the sickening sound of him snapping off rubber gloves.

“We’re done.” He gently places a hand on your arm, using the other to pull you into a sitting position. His face is grim, looking at you like he’s truly sorry for what he’s about to say.

“Are you gonna tell me?”

“You’re not pregnant.” He states calmly.

The air feels thick like you can’t get enough into your lungs to take a full breath. There’s a numbness that starts in your head and descends over your entire body as you sit and stare at Dr. Tuttle, expressionless.

“Did, um, did I do something wrong?” You ask, the words falling out of your mouth on autopilot. “Is this my fault?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “You were never pregnant.”

“I don’t understand.” Never pregnant. It’s too much, too confusing and your brain can’t process what he’s telling you. “But I…”

“You have high levels of estrogen, extremely low progesterone and a synthetic version of hCG that showed up in your tox screen. It’s tricked your body into pseudocyesis. It mimics all the symptoms associated with a normal pregnancy. Swollen belly, breast tenderness, nausea, and weight gain. In some cases even the feeling of fetal movement. You wouldn’t have known the difference. But I can say with a hundred percent certainty that you have never been pregnant.”

You stare at him, unable to move or speak, the gravity of this revelation setting in.

“But I-I saw a heartbeat. I saw my baby.”

“Whatever you saw, it wasn’t your pregnancy.” He takes off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is unconventional, I shouldn’t even be telling you this. I have to call your Alpha.”

“Okay.” You’re still, focused on the wall. You can’t think anymore. If you let yourself feel it’ll be too much, so instead you shut down. “I need to go.”

“I think you should stay. We’ll call your Alpha, maybe we can all sit down together-”

“No.” You discard your gown in front of him, nudity is your last concern as you search for your jeans. “Thank you, but I need to go home now.”

-

Sam’s phone vibrates in his pocket for the third time in five minutes. He checks it again, it’s a number he doesn’t recognize so he hits the mute button.

“You need to take that?” John leans back in his chair, his eyes never leaving the shareholders presentation that’s currently in progress.

“I don’t know.” Sam grimaces as a fourth call comes in. “I think I better.”

Stepping into the hallways he answers, already annoyed. “Winchester.”

“Sam Winchester?” The voice is male and unfamiliar.

“The one and only. Who is this?”

“My name is doctor Tuttle, I’m a physician at New York Presbyterian.”

Sam’s heart drops into this stomach.

“What’s wrong?” He’s sweating before the question is finished.

“Your Omega came in today, I treated her for what I thought were pregnancy-related symptoms.”

“Is she alright?” He takes off toward his office, breaking into a run. He just needs his car keys. “Is something wrong with our baby?”

“She’s fine, but I do have some pretty unsettling news, Mr. Winchester. I think it’s best if you come here so we can speak in person.”

“I’m on my way.”

Twenty minutes later Sam’s sitting in a small office with lime green walls, listening as he’s told that his entire world has been a lie.

She was never pregnant. It appears to be a chemical induced pregnancy.

The words rattle around in his head. The doctor keeps talking, the hospital legal counsel sitting in the corner taking notes.

“How is this possible?” Sam can feel the rage boiling in his veins. You’ve been lying to him all this time, it’s the only explanation. “She had an ultrasound, I was there.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time that a woman has faked a pregnancy.” The lawyer speaks up. “You’d be surprised what people will agree to do for a little bit of cash.”

“I’m not entirely convinced that’s the case.” Dr. Tuttle speaks up. “She came in knowing we’d run tests, all it took was a blood screen and an ultrasound to determine she wasn’t pregnant. And her reactions appeared to be genuine. I tried to get her to stay, to wait for you, but she insisted on leaving.”

“I haven’t been able to reach her.” Sam runs a hand over his mouth. There’s a pressure building in his chest, starting to make it hard to breathe “I need to get out of here.”

He tried to call you several times on his way to the hospital but your phone is turned off. He left Donna a message but he didn’t know who else to call. You’re unreachable and his entire world is coming apart at the seams.

--

He sits in his car in the parking garage, key in the ignition but the car is still off. Sam can’t think straight. There are a million thoughts swirling in his brain. His eyes fall on the folder his mother handed him this morning, and he picks up, pulling out a stack of documents.

The first sheet is withdrawal history from your bank account. He hasn’t checked it since the business with Jake but the money didn't stop there. There are a series of withdrawals every month totaling around ten thousand dollars. There are two pages stapled to that one, showing charitable donations to the clinic you’ve been attending. And a deposit statement from the account of Amelia Richardson for fifteen thousand dollars.

Next is a transcript of text messages from an unlabeled number to a second number identified as Jake. It’s a series of messages that end in asking him to come to the apartment the day of the assault, along with the building address and security code.

The following page is a list of internet searches from your home IP address. Some of it’s about him, his family and then the inquiries trail off into fertility. Next, are various detailed searches regarding marriage laws and the details of financial responsibility once an Alpha marries an Omega. Then the specifics of the new drug that Sam’s been working on.

The connections begin to click together. He’s spent the last year listening to scientists explain how their cure for heat sickness works, It’s simple really. It tricks the body into thinking it’s pregnant. It can’t be a coincidence. There’s no way.

The next page is a series of photos. The first two of are you coming and going from the clinic.  

In the third, you’re sitting alone at a table in a cafe. Directly behind is a young blonde, it takes Sam a moment to place her. It’s the ultrasound technician. In the following photo, the girl is gone and you’re joined by Donna. There’s a handwritten note in the margins that reads withdrawal of a thousand same day - pay off?

Next is a surveillance shot of you and Amelia in a hallway at Gilead, you’re talking about something and there’s a note, a reference back to your bank withdrawal and the corresponding deposit into Amelia’s account.

The final photo makes his heart stop. It’s different than the rest and there’s a Post It that says found in Jake’s apartment. It’s from four or five years ago at a charity event. Sam and Dean are front and center, arms around each other’s shoulders. Sam remembers that night well, they both drank too much and ended up flying to Vegas at 3 am. But behind Dean is your image, a younger version of you dressed in a caterer’s uniform, holding a tray of champagne, staring at the back of Sam’s head.

The last page is the name of a divorce lawyer, Rouel Felder, and grainy photos of you leaving his office. Felder is ruthless, he’s represented everyone from Rudolph Giuliani to David Gest.

There’s a handwritten synopsis from the investigator.

It is my personal opinion, based on these facts, that the subject has engaged in ongoing deception regarding her pregnancy and her relationship with Jake Livingston. I believe the subject new that J. Livingston had photos of her contact with S. Winchester prior to their most recent meeting and that the subject cultivated the situation that lead to the death of J. Livingston at the hands of her Alpha.

The picture is clear. You’ve had an agenda from the beginning, this has all been one long, elaborate con designed to get him to marry you.

He opens the door of his car just in time to vomit on the cement. He wipes his mouth with his tie, before yanking it off his neck, tossing it on the ground of the parking garage. There’s a moment when he can’t see straight, his vision blurring as a sickening combination of anger and betrayal rises up.

He punches the steering column a half dozen times, not stopping until his knuckles bleed, but what he really wants is to punch a hole in the windshield. He’s about to really lose it when his phone vibrates and Donna’s name scrolls across the screen.

“I got your voicemail.” Donna quips as soon as he picks up. “I haven’t heard from her. Is something going on-”

“Did you fucking know?” Sam snarls, gripping the phone so tight his fingers turn white. “Have you two been laughing behind my back?”

“You’re gonna need to take a chill pill, buddy.” Donna shoots back. “You might be used to talking to other people like that, but not me.”

“I know what she’s been doing.” He hits the horn of the car with a closed fist.

“Care to share? Because I don’t have a freakin’ clue what you’re talking about.”

“This whole thing was a setup. The sob story about her parents, getting me to take out Jake and a baby that doesn’t fucking exist.”

“Are you drunk?” She asks flatly. “Is something wrong with the baby?”

“I’m so sick of people lying to me!” Sam lashes out, he wants to hurt someone, the rage bubbling up inside him has almost reached its breaking point. “I trusted her.”

“I still have no clue what you’re talking about but you need to take a breath.” She replies calmly.

“I’m talking about Y/N being this whole other person...I was so blind.”

“Stop.” Donna commands and Sam bristles. “Whatever happened you need to stop. This is the kind of crazy shit I warned her about. I told her you’d be bad for her..”

“Me?” Sam snorts in disbelief. “Bad for her?”

“Yeah, your crazy family has had it out for her since you two hooked up. I don’t know what happened but what I do know is that if you think she’s lied or betrayed you somehow, then you really are just a self-absorbed asshole. She’s put herself out there over and over again just to be with you, and now you’re talking like she’s some kind of criminal or something? Have you actually taken the time to get to know her? Because if you had, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Sam’s silent.

“You don’t deserve her.” She spits. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to find my friend and figure what the hell is going on. It sounds like she probably needs someone to be there for her, and it sure as hell isn’t you.”

--

He’s calmed down and he’s got a plan. He’s going to remain collected and confront you with the facts. Show you the photos and the documents and ask for your side the story. The more he thinks about Donna’s words the more he knows she’s right.

This isn’t you. He’s an idiot for thinking anything else.

He can believe a lot of terrible things about almost anyone, but not you. Maybe he’s blinded by his love for you, or maybe it’s just your bond but he can’t imagine that the situation is what is appears to be.

Sam can hear it the minute the door opens. Your cries are audible from the living room and he follows the sound to find you sitting in the middle of the bedroom floor, sobbing into your hands.

He doesn’t understand much about what’s happening, but the moment he sees you he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you had no idea. There’s no faking this kind of despair.

“Y/N.” He says softly from the doorway and you let out a howl, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself, rocking back and forth on the floor. Gasping through the tears he can hear you struggling to breathe, you’re hyperventilating.

“Hey,” he sits on the floor, scooting closer, pulling you between his legs to wrap himself around you.

“I c-can’t b-breathe.” You sputter, gasping like a fish on dry land.

“Yes, you can.” Sam wants to cry too, but his emotional outbursts are the last thing you need right now. This moment is the greatest test of his ability to be an Alpha and he’s not about to let you down, not again, not after everything. “Breathe with me. Come on, in...out...in...out.”

He takes exaggerated breaths so you easily feel the rhythm of his body, each inhale and exhale is measured and slow until you calm down enough to find the pace on your own. But as soon as the panic attack passes your tears come back, gut-wrenching sobs that crush Sam’s heart.

“I don’t understand. I could feel our baby.” You howl. “I could feel it inside me but it was never there.”

“I know.” He kisses your head, rocking with you in his arms.

“I-I didn’t w-want it and then I fell in love with the idea of-” You can’t finish.

For a long time, neither of you say a word, you just cry for nearly an hour until you’re too physically exhausted to shed another tear. Even after the crying stops, he holds you as the minutes tick by and you lie limply in his arms.

“We’re gonna find out what happened. I promise you.”

“I don't care.” You whisper, utterly defeated. “I want my baby.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sam whispers, a tear sliding down his cheek. “We’ll have a baby. As soon as you want, whenever you’re ready.”

“I don’t think I can.” You grip his arms, holding on like some unseen force might try to pull you away from him. “My heart is too broken.”

-

Part Nine is currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Tags: @smallgirlbigpersonality 

@kittenofdoomage @mereka18 @gryffindorable713 @trainlikeawinchester @winchesterprincessbride @bamby0304 @saxxxology @notyourtypicalrose @mariekoukie6661 @little-big-mac2 @emoryhemsworth @mystriee @atc74 @holyfuckloueh @bunnybaby121115 @mogaruke @darkmystress00 @jaspesangriento @kazuha159 @deans-baby-momma @crispychrissy @schilj79 @wilde-abandon @hennessy0274-blog @bojabee @miss-samantha-winchester @impalaimagining @andkatiethings @astephez @ladycynthia @mrswhozeewhatsis @lenawiinchester @feelmyroarrrr @mrs-meghan-winchester @har-rystyles @mistressofallthingsgeeky @theamuz @maui137 @stars-and-seas @vale0413 @impala67trenchcoat @curly-haired-disaster @ericaprice2008 @livelikeawinchester @althehufflepuff @itsthesamegametoday @bohowitch @spnwoman @just-a-normal-eccentric @gallifreyansass @StoneyGGirl @lonely-skys @81mysteriouslyme @missrandomista @soupornatural @stars-and-seas @natura1phenomenon @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @81mysteriouslyme @likhelbentin @mrooks0205 @zombiewerewolfqueen @winchesterprincessbride @squirrel-moose-winchester @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @closetspngirl @dominodoll @rainflowermoonlibrary @cleighwrites @camelotandastronauts @imarockstar45  @thebeastinside19 @courtney-padalecki @itsthesamegametoday @virtualgirlfriendsan @daisymoder72 @fandom-is-my-middle-name @mysticmcu @luciferseclipse @malinda1997 @sunlight-dean @rockhoochie @collette04 @sandlee44 @ohnowin-chester @maddiepants @fandom-princess-forevermore @geeksareunique @femdeni314 @lazinessisalliknow @samwinchesterssexyface @the-yellow-girl96 @that67chevy @that-weird-asian-gorl

#TTWDBI #Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader #sam winchester x reader #alpha!sam winchester

[hand-painted-5tars]

What is your typical order at your favorite fast-food restaurant? What are your top 5 favorite songs right now? What was/is your favorite subject at school? Do you have a favorite author or illustrator? 💜

OHHHH WOW hello! 

hmmmm, tbh i go with my family and i havent gone alone.... hehe but i prefer fried chicken and barbecue burgers bcs im not a fan of burgers... and i remove the lettuce bcs i dont like the lettuce... i often order coke if there isnt nestea. tbh i always have a weird time in fast food places bcs im not a fan of burgers, i prefer fried chicken or pizza, oh hot dogs are nice too!!

my top five RN....

oh my god a hard one... i will do the list of my top 5 listened songs RN.

Spring Day BTS

Get Cool Stray Kidz

Electric heart exo

What is love exo

We Young Chanyeol & Sehun

hm tbh rather than listening to this ones

I just type in youtube Exo soft playlist and play anything that comes up, i love soft music and ballads.

But a small thing, I make the coffee in the morning for breakfast and i always play exo´s The First Snow in the mornings, it makes my mornings nice.

Oh, i was a nerd at school, i love science and geography, Specially chemistry, i seriously loved chemistry, i loved the part of geography that focused entirely on earth and space rather than mapping. i love geology in all sides, tectonic plates, volcanoes, earth and minerals, as well as space and astronomy! 

But in my second year of high school we had to choose electives and i was supposed to be an engineer so i choose all maths and physics subjects and it got pretty ugly save for the geometric drawing classes. but i got into a design  elective and i loved it too! and thats how i got here

Regarding college, i loved basic 3D, character design, Audiovisual Narrative, Typography and visual Narrative (thats basically storyboarding)!

Hmmmm not really, i often just gather many many things, but so far i dont have a favourite one... Shinkai´s movies are wonderful taking into acc not only ilustration but story, characters, narrative, colors and music.

And authors im giving out the names of the authors of the best i´ve read in my last two years

@syncxpatewriting theres a sweet and wonderufl feeling here, just very warm and i just think they are probably one of my favourite, since I read a Hanahaki saga, i couldn´t stop reading. my favourite is reality check, ive read it like 3 times

bmot - just wonderful and amazing worldbuilding, without knowing a single thing of dragon age i was fully introduced into the world so naturally.

@jinkisbelly i arrived for very soft jongyus, and i remmeber crying over a very sad onkey just a few hours later, since then ive loved their way or writing!! its just so beautiful, i love the fantasy settings a lot here and the flexibility in writing amazing au settled in our world, i re read a very cute ghosty!jinki jongyu like 2 days ago and it made me so happy!!!

theres another author i love whom removed their works but i really loved them, it wrote a very very pretty minkey where kibum was an android, it was amazing

@keyspetite their way of writing jjong is so so so accurate so casual yet so comfortable to real, they write jjong in a very beautiful way, and the whole setting and ambience of the stories are just amazing, light in a way you want to read them again and again

@unnie-bee uhhh been eons since this was written but i still cannot get over phoenix and exodus, this are one of the best fics ive read,this fic basically pulled me into exo, more like dragged me. the whole ecomplexity of getting those 12 stories to blend so wonderfully has me awake at nights lol

u know what i will just post names of my favourite fic authors. you know, theres an option in AO3 to download fics as epubs, i often go into ao3, download many and keep my favourites, so im getting all of them from my fics saved on my ipad.

astroblemish the writer of a fic called cor mechanica. just Amaazing so creative, a fantasy sci-fi where there metal dragons conquered the world ;;

incroyableirreel the writer of a fic called cirtuit breaker, a heartwrecking androidxhuman AU where damn!!! made me cry at night.

NovemberMagpie writer of a Tied and Tangled. ok here the writing of an 18 y/o boy is so so so accurate and so charming, he thinks and behaves just like a boy of that age and its just wonderful.

ink-and-stars. the bane of my heart with So silver bright, and my daily cry Codename M.O.N.S.T.E.R. a hanahaki and dystopian sci-fi au respectively

koizoras author of Hard Bright Light Mechanical- i read this one just like 2 days ago and dang i loved this so so much. dystopian sci-fi 

And those are by now my favourite Authors, whose art isn´t print on paper by an editorial but whose art is still breathtaking and keeping us up at night and wrecking our hearts, making words come to life and turning pixels into whole worlds.

Probably noticed im into sci-fi and fantasy uhuhuh im starting to read a new one that sounds just wonderful like gold tonight!! im excited

and maybe i need to make a whole list of Ilustrators too huh

[graceeast]

Chapter 2

Part 14

This is a joke NSFW 18+

Today Kim came up to me and A-aron and told us that her and Karen are going to see Hannah Montana in concert. I was like yo Hannah Montana is my jam! They said they were going to hard core marathon all the shows ever made because you know you got to have the #bestofbothworlds. A-Aron and I thought it was a good idea for Karen and Kim a night to themselves.

Later I went shopping with my mom she asked me what I wanted I replied with my usual watermalon! She then asked me what else I wanted I said I dont know yellow is my favorite flavor. So she grabbed a lemon I said no you stupid bitch I said yellow. So she finally got the hint and got a box of just yellow crayons.

That night I played Wii bowling with my bro A-Aron and I was like get good scrub you bowl like your mom and he said it be like that sometimes. Then we got high #hugsnotdrugs #brosfohoes #instaverified. Anyway since kim has had her kids her tits are like #nexleval I wish she would call me daddy 🤤

Part 15

Since the girls are going out tonight A-Aron and I have to take care of the babies. #notavibe but I will still help him apparently his kid Jim said his first words they were "shove it Karen jr. #fuckit" we could not be more proud of him!

I hope A-Aron and I can raise these kids just as good a Sanic and Shrek raised their kids. Each of Sanic and Shreks kids have their own swamps that's what I call very successful.

Meanwhile at the concert Karen passed out from drinking too much and Kim is half naked and Karona is dancing on stage with Hannah Montana and Milly Cyrus herself it was very hardcore.

Part 16

Karona fell off the stage but it's ok because Billy Rae Cyrus caught her. They looked deep into each others eyes until rudely interrupted by Karen . "Excuse me!" Karen exclaimed. The Billy and her eyes locked he straight up yeeted Karona and they had some premarital kissing. Gross!

That day A-Aron texted me. "You ready to rob a bank?" I was like WTF A-Aron did you take your ADHD medication. He was like "I thought we were bros weather I took my meds or not!" "But to be honest I didn't" I said you should probably do that we will talk later. A-Aron than says "I love you bro no homo"

The girls had fun at the concert but Karona is still a little upset that Karen stole Billy from her. But they made up since Karen said "he's horrible kisser I ended up complaining to his manager Hannah Montana about it!" "And we broke up." Karona was glad she dodged a bullet with that one thank our lord and savior Dr. Phil

Part 17

A-Aron and I have to clean his room today apparently I cause 90% of the messes. Anyway his room has a white boy white sanfransico vibe to it, it has several posters of pokeman. It also have posters of big time rush. After picking up his several pairs of board shorts we are lunch which of course was case of dillos #cultured.

Karen jr. Finally learned how to complain to the manager today since we went to friendlies and she got the wrong ice cream. Jim said shut the F up Karen and Boe just minded his own business.

I cant believe Karen won the presidency! Surprisingly since she was going against Bloomerberg. Science he is an old white man and she is a black Mexican. She didn't have a great chance but she made it. She is going to make America love shrek again.

Part 18

In Chillerys class today we were listening to one of those educational songs and low key I got turnt as hell listening to it. Later I ended up buying it on iTunes for my blue totally awesome ipod shuffle. I listened to it only 600 more times. I even made a dance to it to show Chillery tomorrow in class.

We all stood up and said the pledge of the memeist then saluted the flag with Shrek on it with our middle finger as it is the way he would want it. Then we said long live our president Karen amen 🙏. Then we all dabbed and coughed in each other's faces.

That night Aaron, his family and I went to the cheesecake factory and we ate like kings. It was very good till I got home and had explosive diariah every where. Gross.

Part 19

Today I started talking to Korona cause she a cutie. She and I decided to go on a online date on roblox since that game bops. Anyway we were thinking about going to Mac Daddys for dinner on Friday I'm excited! Except when we got there Mac Daddys was closed so we had to hard-core hand job and then well you can only imagine what happened next. Its closed because of of the pepperona.

But its ok because I got quarantined with her which was nice because we did a lot of HBO and chill. We take a couple hits of the mareajowana. She is my Quranqueen.

School is online now and Chillery was talking to us then all of the sudden there was a loud noise. "What was that" Chillery yelled. A-aron raised his hand and said sorry that was me I dropped my iPad. "I soiled my depends" Chillery exclaimed. I than said Sah bro to him and Chillery yelled shut the F up. Whoh Chillery has no chill.

That night I went home and I printed off some black and white nudes for my sweet heart KTVSPN4 I hope she likes them.

Part 20

Today in school a new student came on line her name is Cardi B. All of the sudden someone who had been quiet all day raised their hand. What is it asked Carol Baskin our art teacher. "Yes, is that short for something?" Cardis cheeks turned bright red she hung her head and embarrassed and said "it's short for Carigan Backyardagain" thewhole class laughed. Carol said if we don't stop she would feed us to tigers so we shut right up.

Today after classes Karona came over we had sex and I was pretty sure I tore my rectum. But you know what they say chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Also #worthit. She enjoyed it which is good because we don't waste. Especially seman and hot pickles oh my goodness after eating one of those and watching the hot pickle movie 🤤. Hot pickle I need to repent.

The next day A-aron was down and before class Skyped my friend group apparently Karen Jr. Was getting to be a handful. Thankfully Karona is into all of the astrology stuff and a-aron yelled "what can you tell me about scoripos?" The answer was simple don't be a donter...

Chapter 21

I got home and listened to Thomas the dank engine. Then all of the sudden Korona called me. "Honey you know how we had 69 on 4/20?" Yes I answered "well I'm #tomato sauce" what? "I'm sorry I'm prego" she exclaimed I said it was going to be ok and we would figure it out. "Wow you are the best" she said.

That next day in music class we had a project to write a song about someone who inspired us. Danny Devito went first "yes this is a song about me." He said he went on singing -"this won't make us fall there is still one man we can call, Danny Devito the one that we need oh" it was very catchy. The teacher wasn't pleased but it was better then kims song about Carol Baskin.

I'm so happy Karona is prego, today we find out the gender of our baby. Turns out its a girl we are going to name her corona lite extra. I can't wait until our beautiful baby is born!

The next day in class Carole was singing about her husband it was very sus talking about sardine oil on her husband. And something about tigers and how they be snacking on his meat I don't think in a good way. Anyway big yikes.

We had a baby shower for Karona of course on the internet dont want this weird virus. She got a onsie it said dada on it I can't wait for our baby to wear it.

Part 22

A-aron sent me a link last night it said under the link "looks like you" I of course clicked on it and you will never guess what happened. It brought me to a separate video I watched it there was some unmentionable stuff happening in it, I texted A-aron and said "I think that video gave me cancer" he texted "Thanks Obama!"

The baby is due next month and we couldn't be happier we decided that when its born we are not going to vaccinate our child because autism. Dont want our kid to be messed up for life. We are going to be using natural oils and food made from home and of course cloth diapers. Got to make sure she is perfect.

At lunch I was telling A-aron our plan he completely agreed that autism is way worse than being susptible to the flu or polio he said they didn't get Karen Jr. Vaccinated and she has only gotten small pox once and the flu 4 times since she has been alive. To me thats worth it

👌 💯 😌 🙏

23

Karen started talking about "he own business on Facebook and is trying to get us to start our own. "It only takes one second to share" she sells essential oils.

" its called essential oils for a reason"

I bought some hoping that would shut her up but it did not. The next day she talking about betrayal on Facebook and how hard she is trying to sell this shit to everyone.

Just shut up no one wants your oils!

I'm so excited for Karona to have the baby any day now she will arrive and we will be so happy and a family.

Part 24

Karona went into labor in quarantine with me I delivered my own child! Like we said it is a girl so we will be naming her Karona extra light.

She was healthy and thank goodness 🙏 it was a home birth because hospitals are so disgusting and they might vaccinate her and we don't want that because everything we are doing is all natural. We are even using cloth diapers because the government expects you to use disposable but i just can't in good conscience do that to my sweet daughter.

Karona is nursing which is great because we are planning on nursing her till she is 5 because breast is best.

Part 25

Today on Facebook Karen posted one of her normal posts. "Does anyone have a truck I can borrow need to move a couch also if you could help me that would be great!." And "does anyone have any Bobby pins I can borrow?" "I'm so done with everything" "anyone want to buy essential oils and be a model for me for free?"

What a bitch just trying to get free stuff from people I never understood asking for stuff like that. Like a few things here and there but every day is kinda ridiculous. Plus who barrows Bobby pins like wtf. Like I'm pretty sure those are one time use.

Today Karen also asked me if I would sell essential oils for 10% of the profits. She also said using them could help me lose up to 10 pounds. She said it just takes 2000$ to start out but I'll earn it back next month.

Yeah right I'll earn it back never. I just told her I wasn't interested which she got really upset with. "You know you just lost me 300$!" -yeah I did the math 10% of 300 is 30. Dumb bitch oh well.

Part 26

Karona extra light started talking today apparently she is religious because first thing she said was you may be verified on Twitter but are you verified in the eyes of the lord.

I have had many conflicting feelings lately back in elementary I liked guys but now and then I liked both, but now I'm leaning more towards girls but I still sometimes have feelings for guys. Any way I'm just going to come out as Bi because I still like some guys but lean more towards females. I told Kim she was totally excepting.

Kim started a job at worst purchase today she said her day was so easy and they are actually paying her a good amount. I'm proud of who she is

But who am I is the question

Well now that I got it figured out my name is Atlas Consintine I am bi-sexaul and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I am a chillis employee that has gone through alot but I think its time for this saga of my journal to come to an end you see tomorrow is high school graduation and pretty soon I will be thinking about the next step in my life. Probably join the peace core or something. Ps simp means squirrels in my pants doesn't anyone remember Phineas and ferb. Anyway that's it for now journal until next time.

Atlas

#funny #fiction #short story

[noheroes-allowed]

boston baby

aka I’m a dumbass

I literally deleted all the text of my old post bc I’m a fucking idiot. so now my idiocy stems from not only my inability to stop liking this boy but also my fucking incapability of navigating this site. and my stubbornness in having this post to look back on so I have to write it again which sucks bc I spent like 3 days on the last one. again --- I hate that I put so much weight on our interactions. I hate that I have this need to remember it all. I remember in freshman year when I liked this guy I wrote little clues to myself and I was sure I would remember them. and I liked that it was something I knew but no one else could really guess if they just saw single, independently floating words. but I looked back on them last fall and I had no idea what half of them were. I suppose it’s a good sign that I’ve officially moved on, no ache in my heart that I couldn’t remember, only a little nostalgia. and then when I found the clues I wrote in my notes app about keith from the first segc social I went to in like 2018, I didn't know what was going on either. in this case, it’s purely from bad memory. although I did write down that his favorite candy was sweet tarts, which he mentioned again this trip. I’m sure at one point in my life I will look back on this with only nostalgia and sentimentality and appreciate how much I’ve grown since the time of me writing this, at least I hope so. but for now, I know I want to remember these days. not just bc of my horrendously irrational crush on keith, but bc this trip was really fun. it might be the highlight of my semester. and at the end of it all, I did grow closer to these people and one individual in particular. even though I doubt he would like me back, at the end of the day, I still really enjoy his company and knowing more about him even in the friend capacity. so this is my completely rational justification, and I will try not to feel bad about myself.

I looked back on an unsent letter I wrote about him over winter break just now. it’s crazy how much closer we are now than we were just two months ago. a lot of the content was actually about how I wish I could get to know him more. to hear his laugh and see his smile, listen to his stories and adventures. to know more about him and for him to want to know more about me. it’s amazing. I actually got to do exactly that this weekend. 

there were so many little moments I appreciate and don’t want to forget. when he picked me up, he said something in the car that I couldn’t hear bc I was outside. but I think it was something like ‘do you want to sit in the front.’ but my mind was so set on sitting shotgun that I went for the door and when I asked him what he said he said he just couldn’t get the door open since it was locked the first time I tried. we were talking about behavioral econ since class was cancelled and serena asked me if I liked it and I said that I had been wanting to take it since applying to colleges. keith was surprised. and he said how he didn’t know why he picked the 9am discussion. and I said he could always go to a later one. but then he was like no it’s too late bc jaja is in it and you’re in it. even though jaja never shows up to class. ‘do you want to help me navigate?’ when we left Ithaca, maxwell and I were talking about Iceland, and I said all I wanted to do was see the northern lights. maxwell wanted to go snorkeling. then when everyone started doing their work since our car was deemed the work car, he turned to me and ‘tell me a story.’ literally I lit up inside when he said that bc he wanted to hear about me, and he never reciprocated back this question when I asked him the few times before our trip, and the specific wording bc that’s exactly how I ask him. everyone loves talking about themselves, even me. and I thought making the story-sharing a thing would make him happy since he could think back on some memories and I could learn more about him. it’s a win-win really.  

we talked about maryland a lot. I think the first story I told was in 8th grade when we went to a museum in dc and we ran into neil patrick harris and our grade bothered him so much that he left. and then we got onto the topic of field trips and going to st. mary’s to learn about colonies. he thought it was weird that I took the school bus to school bc he only ever rode buses on trips. we talked about the aquarium and the science center and crabs and ocean city beach trips and just md. stupidly it made me appreciate md more.

anyway I told him about the trips I went on in high school, and how I slipped in the rain in disney and fucked up my elbow for weeks afterwards, and getting to see the backstage of the parks, and having to drive all the way there and sleeping on the bus, and how we went to london and nola. he asked me who I spent most of my time with in marching band. I asked him about his trips. his school took so many camping and hiking trips with everyone in the grade and that’s when he would pull his pranks. they went out to the eastern shore of maryland once and camped out in the grass next to the sand to learn about biomes. and this guy brought a hoverboard even though no electronics were allowed. and they started building a trench in the sand for no reason. he asked me if I ever had gone camping. I told him I camped on a beach in china when I was 12. and that my family used to go every year until my brother was born. apparently on another school trip two seventh graders were making out next to everyone sleeping bc they didn't even separate the boys and the girls. he said one time his friends and him ate really greasy foods and a milkshake from dq and he felt really gross afterwards. 

we talked about books too, like what we read as kids. and I asked him about all the books I read in high school. he read hamlet and the great gatsby and tried to read pride and prejudice and not frankenstein and not the crucible. he watched the lion king in class too after hamlet. I told him I cried, and during the great gatsby, and was haunted by the clip from the crucible where everyone gets hung. he made a reference to percy jackson I didn't understand. I asked him his favorite movie but he didn't know. mine is beautiful boy. he said he saw little women but I wanna read it first. also we talked about friends and how I grew up with it and it would be on the same time as hannah montana at 7:30. he said he watched a lot of hannah but not actually bc of his sisters since they were a bit older than the target audience so I guess he just watched it bc he wanted to? also I said drake and josh was the only children’s sitcom my dad would watch bc it was funny to him too. it reminds me of when we were at mango mango and he pointed out the mangoes and said they reminded him of the pear ipads from icarly and victorious.

we stopped at Panera and he didn’t get the sandwich I recommended. he got a plain turkey sandwich instead, but mine was literally the same except it had really good bread. when we were waiting for maxwell to figure out the drink machine, a jeremy song came on and I said I went to his concert in philly and got the sweatshirt I was wearing from there. he said it was a sign. during lunch annie brought up coronavirus and how a girl got back from abroad and went to mixers. and they talked about traveling in europe. keith said he had family he visited in some European country that I don't remember at this point, and that his most recent immigrant was one of his grandfathers. I wonder what his parents look like. on our way out I asked if we could go to petco and he said for a few minutes. and we got to see lizards and snakes and geckos and gerbils and birds. and then on our way out I said ‘omg a turtle’ really loudly and he turned around and smiled. later I asked him if he had any pets and he said he used to have a dog. he asked me and I said I didn't. he said it seemed like I really want one though. his sister is a vet and the other works for a pet store company. 

we talked about college and how well our semesters have gone. he said his freshman year was rough and he didn't feel like himself and was lazy sophomore year and didn't have good friends until sophomore spring I think. and that cornell was good for him bc he’d grown up in such a small school his entire life and he needed the change. I feel like I would’ve felt a greater sense of belonging if I went to a liberal arts school just bc of its size. he liked 4th and 8th and this year. I liked 3rd 6th 9th and freshman year and this year. he was surprised that I liked them for meeting new people, but I think it has to do with the fact that I met a lot of people in those years who I grew to really care about. even though trying to meet people in that time was hard. and freshman year was just really transformative for my growth. ‘wait tell me more about umd.’ I kept it vague and told him how I was a nerd and was really scared about grades and went to office hours and studied a lot. we stopped at a gas station then so the topic kind of died down. he left the door open for a few minutes after getting out then popped his head back, ‘sorry about that’, and we were all confused but it was just him apologizing for the cold getting in. there was a convenience store inside and his favorite candy is sweet tarts. I liked kit kats a lot, and he does too but he eats them too quickly. I pointed out the cookies and crème, which he’s never had before, but I mentioned that I gave him the option last Halloween when I had candy from work. 

he asked me to put on music but I was scared I would get judged for my music taste and we didn’t have an aux cord and he said we should get one at a rest stop but we never ended up doing that. we turned on the radio and it felt like such an early 2010s thing to do, and I mentioned in middle school there were only two radio stations people listened to. ‘wait name them.’ and he fucking knew 106.5 and 104.3 and gosh. when he said ‘wait we have so much in common’ with that damn smile. I know he was just talking about common experiences we’ve had just living somewhat close to each other, but what initially drew me to him was that we have the same major and both came from md. I always felt a stronger connection to him and I feel like he appreciated our similarities too. it was so fun bc I associate all those md things with people from high school but to have this in common with a friend from college is just so surreal. it’s like two worlds colliding in a wonderful way. 

there were moments when I felt like it was just us, away from segc and just traveling together. when he asked me to look at the Airbnb info. when he asked me to find parking for him bc he’s never parallel parked. but that one time when everyone was in the car and he did it perfectly and everyone cheered. memorizing where our car was. his smile when I would anticipate what he needed and tell him I already have a parking lot set in maps as our destination. when he gave me his wallet to pay the toll. when I left that note in the car bc we were blocking other people. when the windows fogged up and I had to check if he could merge. and when we had to both roll down the window bc the ac was broken. when I checked to make sure he parked between the lines. when everyone else was rushing off to dinner and we stayed behind to make sure we didn't have to pay for parking. and then the next day figuring out the machine. and figuring out the rates. and paying for our parking in the lobby. when he couldn’t get the card in and asked me to try. and in the morning too. when we woke up before everyone else. and I was still in bed working and he was surprised to see me awake and dabbed bc we were talking about that in the car. and just ‘can I use your room’ ‘can I take a shower’ ‘I’m gonna brush my teeth’ ‘wait can I pee first’. cleaning up the Airbnb and stripping the sheets and throwing everything out and taking out the trash and setting the coffee table back and arranging the couch pillows. ‘can I put this here for a second’ when he left his jacket in my room just when he was in the bathroom. but the second night he kept it there for hours. I loved it when we were just talking on our own too. like on the road when he pointed out the baseball and basketball hall of fame and the chesapeake watershed. when he tricked me by calling a random stream the susquehanna, then ‘it’s the susquehanna’ ‘really?’ ‘oh idk’ when I got him back, and then joking that the river we were crossing by harvard was it too, but we actually saw it on the way back. and in the kitchen when he dropped the clif bar wrapper and I said his name in a disappointing way so when we were cleaning up he joked and said we gotta make sure there were no more wrappers lying around. ‘I’m going to go into that room for a while.’ I gave him a weird look so he explained he was gonna do push-ups and didn't want to fall behind and put his finger on his lips. and when I told him I was meeting a friend sunday morning with just us in the kitchen, he said he was jealous. I think bc he wanted to see his best friend from brown. this shit seems miniscule and dumb but. idk it just made me feel happy and light and dumb inside.  

edit 3/21: I’m finally back to finish this post, hopefully. it’s definitely been a weird past week, and so much has changed since the boston trip that I’ve been reluctant to come back and finish this bc of how different I feel compared to how “happy and light and dumb inside” I was a mere two weeks ago. life is definitely weird now. and I didn’t want to taint this post with that. but I think inevitably I am less excited and happy about this trip and probably forgot some the small things. but I needed to finish this eventually, so here I am.

on our way there, I asked him if he was close to his high school friends. and he said he saw a bunch of people last summer. and his friend like inspired him a bit bc he acts with no shame in that he won’t let small doubts hold him back. and that made him want to reach out to hs people. and I said I wanted to talk to some people from home but it was hard bc I didn’t know if they’d want to talk to me too, but then ‘would you be happy if they reached out to you?’ ‘it’s not the same.’ I asked him about his segc application and the issue he talked about. he talked about racism and his perspective. the radio said south by southwest was cancelled, our speaker that week was on the board for the event. the radio also talked about virus cases in boston on our way there. also on our way into the city the second day, there was a sign that said something like ‘caution’ ‘coronavirus cases’ or something and he said it felt like we were in the beginning of an apocalyptic movie. 

when we got to the Airbnb, the others spent literally two hours trying to find a dinner place for us. but we were just chilling. he complimented my shoes. and said butterflies when I was doing stretches on the ground. we went to get water from the kitchen and he got some from the tap but I found a water filter in one of the cabinets and pointed it out to him. ‘oh it tastes fine though’ but I needed it for me. ‘oh that was selfish of me.’ and then ‘lucy what’s your fourth favorite day at cornell’ but we were back in the living room. and he corrected himself to ‘well everyone’ but it was directed at me. and he was asking me. and it made me feel special. in the car he asked me my fourth favorite year and I think that’s how we started talking about umd, and fourth favorite ice cream. his number one is chocolate. at dinner, we were at the thai place and he got chicken curry but ‘why don’t you try something new.’ he said it was too risky given how spicy the menu was and how hungry he was at the moment. he mentioned the md state fair bc annie talked about the ny state fair. and seriously. I fucking need to know if the timonium state fair grounds are legit state fair grounds. like is the fair actually a state fair or do they just call themselves that. omfg I’ve been wondering this for years and I need answers. on our way to dinner, my shoe came untied and I said I could catch up but he waited for me anyway. and as we were jogging he was like ‘remember disney’ bc I told him I fell. we saw a bunch of bunnies in the yards of the houses and I said watership down kinda traumatized me. he said his sister had to read or watch (?) it but he didn’t but he knew it was gruesome. after dinner though we all walked to the tower. that we saw in the distance while we were driving and walking to the restaurant. but it just ended being an academic building with a weird tower top. and it started snowing and was extremely cold. and maxwell told this story about how his brakes got cut on his bike.

after dinner we got back and they were figuring out a movie to watch on netflix. and couldn’t decide so I suggested the office s5 ep14 bc stress relief is iconic. and it made me happy that everyone was enjoying the episode. divya was like ‘keith and lucy look like you’re having fun’ bc we were both sitting on the ground I guess in her like camera’s direction? idk. I thought it was weird she pointed out us two specifically. bc before she asked him how the car ride went and he said everyone was doing work. and she was like wait what so what did you do. ‘I talked to lucy a lot actually.’ ‘oh what’d you guys talk about.’ but he had to fix the car parking and then she asked me from across the room in front of everyone what we talked about. also at dinner saturday she sat down and then literally changed seats to sit next to him. and also ‘shivani, we should visit dc over spring break.’ right after he said he was gonna do a 10k there. it’s a little sus is all. they played some card games after the episodes but I took a shower instead. I think keith and mahdia were partners. after they played I was standing in the living room and everyone was figuring out the sleeping situation and he tapped me on my shoulder. but he kinda messed up bc he tried to trick me but he tapped the wrong one bc he overthought it. 

lucy take your pick, are we there yet, ice cream cake, diners, tufts, 75 state st section 3k, green tea latte, lucy is so funny, magnet, pics in the comic store, questions to ask, salt water taffy, waiting for us by the elevator, crocs store, circle push door???, vineyard vines, bookstore, racing up the stairs, printable stories, ideal Friday night, lucy just takes shotgun, parking for harvard, stopping in pokeworks, looking back at me, the moon and the sun, you know what you need to do, can you get us home, keith st, what’s new, tell me how this morning went, how’d it go, i’m glad you got to go, band and art and classes and sports, my brother, never being at whole foods before, are there tongs, md grocery stores, my phone is messed up, fucking up on the highway, clif bar flavors, first crush, dating, umd, dances and prom, parties, selfie, canoe trip, ipods and mp3 and ds and psp, being dropped off last, his dorky ok, great Gatsby soundtrack, it doesn't really come up in conversation

#remarks #this time I left some notes to myself #so I don't forget

[soundrooms]

Soundrs: Ben Eyes

Welcome to our new Friday feature: #producer #interviews The focus lies on #workflow & #inspiration, in order to provide a way to both gain insight about #music #production and spotlight ambitious #audio #producers. If you want to get featured, send a message here on #tumblr or an email to [email protected]. The questions will remain largely the same. Now let’s get the ball rolling with our first of many Soundrs! Indulge.

Ben Eyes is a sound engineer, composer and live performance artist based in Leeds, UK. He makes electronic music as Quip https://soundcloud.com/quip and is one half of percussion and electronics duo STOCKER/EYES https://stockereyes.wordpress.com/ 

• What are your inspiration sources?

Sometimes field recordings, sometimes instruments I find new corners of gear I haven't explored. I am a bit of a gear hoarder, but old 80/90s stuff as opposed to new shiny things. I love the Kurzweil K2000 its full of 80s/90s sounds but then you program it and get something contemporary, its Max MSP in hardware. I like to explore timbres and rhythms together so that might be having a drum pattern distorted in a cheap fx pedal or using delay to create new rhythms. I am a sucker for the Roland 707 as my main drum machine but the sound of it gets twisted and messed up. I find the grooves I create with the old drum machines feel more planted and make me want to dance, if that’s what’s needed.

• Tell us something about your workflow.

It is sort of split up into 3 really, I am really lucky in that I have a large room in my little (detached) house, I live in the middle of nowhere so I don't disturb anyone. I have a guitar corner with all my effects and amps setup. Then a keyboard stand with all my drums and synths near to hand - I stand up at this and get grooves and patterns down using hardware. Then a computer and mixer next to each other. I have a bunch of synths on my computer table too. I love tabletop synths so you can just sit and noodle. I tend to get something going on with a couple of synths and a drum machine. Increasingly its a small euro rack modular that i have been building. Everything is synced together and clocked from the 707, but I do some weird things with syncing - I get a 606 to do irregular clock from the tom outputs - this provides sync for the modular and a Korg electribe, which I still use alot and have a load of sample banks for it on SD cards, it makes some messed up horrible sounds and also some very punchy drums. This gets the juices flowing. I will record the jam into Ableton then start chopping or adding stuff. I like to use a mixture of analogue and digital. Posh and poor. So I might use the Pro One with a Casio keyboard but through a decent effects pedal. I think having lots of different sources in a track helps to make the sounds interesting. I started out with nothing, a four track and a delay pedal as a kid. Then a computer a bit later. I ran Rebirth and Cubasis, putting everything together in a sequencer. So having this studio is a complete luxury, a dream really. I managed to get this studio together by working my arse off and getting bits second hand every now and then. I am quite strict about not buying new stuff, there is too much gear in the world so I try and get a bargain now and then. I am a sound engineer by trade so I get offered kit quite a bit. The internet has helped also. My room is pretty full now though so its just a question of me getting time in here to work. I have a couple of different monitor options and a sub which is great. To be honest I keep things really simple. The main thing I guess is I use hardware almost 100% now. Some software compression and EQ but its all sounds from boxes, guitars or my mouth.

• How would creative rituals benefit your workflow?

Well I used to smoke a bit and have a drink to get in the zone, which I have stopped now. I just drink tea. Have a meal with my girlfriend and then get into a flow. I like to loop weird things I might have recorded in my job or just play with a machine until something comes out. Rituals are really important. I cycle a lot and love mountain biking. Also just playing the guitar and using acoustic instruments helps. I have a tonne of guitars and little stringed things. Acoustic instruments are ritualistic, they are the maddest things really. The more I think about a guitar the more it drives me to create something with it.

• How do you get in the zone?

Just relaxing, not thinking too much. I do quite a bit of music to spec, and also study at the moment for PhD in Composition at the University of York. This means I have to switch off really when making "my music". I just use music to relax often. As a way to create something that might be heard somewhere. I gig less now and don't release music much so its more of thing for myself and occasionally others.

• How do you start a track?

Sometimes I setup a load of gear and just go for it. If I have a load of tracks to do for a record I just get three or four boxes going together, maybe drums and two synths then hammer out a load of improvisations. I like to work quite fast so I will stay in this mode for a while. I don't use a pool of samples so every time I start a track I try and record new stuff. Thats probably crazy but it keeps things fresh and I always find out new things. I might have one or two loops from my recorder or phone but usually every things done in the studio.

• Do you have a special DAW template?

No I am not really into that. I have fave effects settings on hardware. Everything runs through a desk in the studio so I just patch in whatever I want and go. It takes 1 second to add a channel and assign an input. I use my whole studio like a template really. So certain FX for certain instruments. Then when I get bored I repatch. I have two patch bays pretty much full so they get used a bit.

• What do you put on the master channel?

Nothing until the end then its an SSL bus compressor or the Fab Filter compressor and a limiter.  Maybe a tiny EQ but nothing crazy, I like to hear the dynamics till the very bitter end. Luckily my room is flatish so I can work quite confidently in there.

• How do you arrange and finish a track?

Walk away and come back the next day, then keep snipping. I used to be terrible at editing and getting rid of things but now I am quite ruthless. Its funny how you change over the years. I'll listen to things and think fuck thats terrible it has to go. Come in the next day and get rid. I think thats part of being much more sober now when I make music and more of an idea of what I want. Quite often I have the arrangement in my head so I just snip away. I do automation by mouse and sometimes enter some fx with a MIDI controller. But usually my tracks aren't huge so its quite a simple process.

• How do you deal with unfinished projects?

Every few months I might have a train ride or a hard disk sort. I will go through old stuff and highlight them and try and finish them. I have an album I have just finished that was made like this. Just going back to old stuff until it was finished. I'm really happy with it should be out soon as I am mastering it currently.

• How do you store and organize your projects?

Hard drives - I don't tend to store things on the local disk. Then back up the disks, then back up those. Then the cloud too. Mixes get sent there. I am quite good at backing stuff up at the moment.

• How do you take care of studio ergonomics?

Have separate places in the studio to do stuff, guitar and bass corner then a drum machine/synth section then my computer/desktop synths and mixer. Everything's quite divided up. I love my desk at the moment - it has all the desk top synths and volcas and the mac, so I can just record a groove from synth / drum machine world then sit down and add a nice synth, the TG-33 gets used or an old Novation Nova and edit.

• Tell us something about your daily routine, how is your day structured, how do you make room for creativity?

I work a lot either at the University where I look after the studios and do teching for concerts and I work freelance mixing for bands such as Wrangler, who are quite a heavy live electro band. They tour a bit so I go away a lot. I have been getting into iPads for sketches. I have an albums worth of stuff done on it. Just need to mix it. So yeah I watch and listen to others a lot - recording or mixing live and in a way you get ideas this way for your own stuff. Always learn even when its other peoples work.

• Share a quick producing tip.

High pass filter everything.

Try and make space for everything in the mix by filtering. Don't boost too much.

Don't worry about all the gear. Just get the idea down and it will go from there.

• Share a link to an interesting website (doesn’t have to be music related).

I'm reading this at the moment. I love stories of creative friction, fights between creative people are always interesting because people really feel this stuff. Also I am a member of an institution and I see my own politics and watch the institutional bullshit from a distance. I am lucky enough to have worked at EMS and it's a great place. This is quite eye opening if you are into art politics.

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=i7W9CwAAQBAJ&pg=PA169&lpg=PA169&dq=music+box+software+ems&source=bl&ots=5FbKkMKKgt&sig=Zr7Y5pJCvWn7N4HtJbjkgPQz8m8&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi6uLj1q5XWAhUMXhoKHaInBQoQ6AEILzAB#v=onepage&q=music%20box%20software%20ems&f=false

• List ten sounds you are hearing right this moment : )

I am recording a band called Roller Trio. Jazz electronics. So I am hearing reverse guitar, bass, sax, acoustic and real drums, the hiss of the mixer, 808 samples and occasional pop of an old sound card ;-)

#music #House Music #musician #digital music #rap music #techno #techno music #technomusic #audio #audio production #audio equipment #audio producer #audio gear #Sound Design #Sound #soundcloud #sounddesign #soundrooms #soundr #soundrs #recording studio #studio #home studio #music studio #synths #synth #synthesizer #analog synth #modular synth #interview

[sasuhinasno1fan]

I’ll be home soon- Klance Week Day 4

So I got inspired by @sevenfivetwo voltron k drama au. Now in no way is the things I have in this fic cannon in their AU, I just got inspired by it. Please enjoy. Welcome Home

“Actually, I just miss you.” Keith smiled as he looked out the window of his hotel at the lit city beneath him. “It’s weird how it came to this didn’t it?”

“Yeah, I mean, 4 months ago I was being paid to kiss you and trying not to fall for you but I did, like we’re in some K-Drama.” Lance replied. “But you really miss me?”

“mmhm.” It was strange how he and Lance got to this point. His family wanted him to marry, but relationships were not something Keith did, so he hired Lance to help him. He paid him to go out with him, paying extra if he got hurt. It wasn’t serious at first but they got to know each other more and more and actual feelings started to develop. It took a while for them to actually admit it to each other but it happened. They were actually celebrating a real 100 days of dating before they knew it.

At the moment, Keith was on a business trip in New York, while Lance stayed in Korea to keep working on his art series for the gallery opening he was having soon. As much as Keith wanted to make things easier for Lance, Lance insisted on doing everything by himself, from booking the art gallery to getting the guest list to organizing the opening. Keith would always admire the way Lance could move mountains to do things himself, without help. Probably one of the reasons Keith fell for him.

“Hey,” Lance said, breaking Keith out of his dazing, “Your flight back, you couldn’t get it changed?”

Lance’s gallery opening was happening in 2 days, however his assistant messed up and made Keith’s flight back the day after the opening. They hadn’t gotten the chance to get it changed with all the meetings and other business Keith had to attend to.

“We’ve been really busy. I’m trying my best, I promise.”

“No it’s fine,” Lance said, fabric rustling from his side of the line, “I just kinda want you to be there, but your job comes first. I’ll be ok?”

“I want to be with you when it opens. Honestly I’d rather be with you rather than sit here dealing with grumpy old men, who despite knowing I’m in a very happy relationship, try to set me up with their daughters and granddaughters.”

“Guess they also forgot to remember you’re gay.” Lance pointed out, laughter in his voice. “Shame I’m not there, I’d love to start making out with you in front of those guys. It’d be a win-win for both of us. You get those scheming men off your back and I get to make out with you.”

“A win-win for us all indeed. I miss kissing you. First thing I’m going to do when I see you is kiss the daylights out of you.”

Keith gained a smug smirk at the sound of Lance sputtering. “y-you can’t just say things like that!”

“You’re that really cute red aren’t you?”

“Shut up! I’ll hang up on you.”

“Its how late already there? Like 9 in the morning?”

“Not that late. Plus I wanted to talk to you.” Lance said, sounding almost guilty. “If you’re tired, I can let you go.”

“More like you need to get a move on. You have a lot of things to finish for the opening today right? Text me when you’re done and if I’m free I’ll call you, ok?”

“Alright, love you.”

“I love you too Lance.”

“You have no idea the hell I had to go through to get you the private jet so you could get back earlier.” Shiro said, sitting across from his brother. Keith let a hum as he was focused on the iPad in front of him. “You should be happy dad really likes Lance that he was willing to go against grandmother to get you back in time.”

“Not really in time, since our arrival time is about an hour before the event ends and I can’t get from the airport to the gallery that quickly. But I will be with Lance before he goes to sleep hopefully. At the very least, I’ll be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.”

Shiro let out a laugh, shaking his head. “You are completely in love with him. I never thought I’d see you this way.”

A small smile came to Keith lips as he hit the home button to be greeted with the picture of Lance, paint splattered on him from a paint fight Keith had started in hopes of getting him away from working too hard, Lance’s smile forever captured. “Yeah, me either.”

Finally after what felt like forever, he arrived back in South Korea and his driver took him back to his and Lance’s apartment. According to the security cameras, Lance hadn’t arrived yet. He decided to wait right outside the front door; he wanted to be the first thing Lance saw when he got back. Soon he heard the gate swing open and the sound of footsteps heading up the pathway. Lance was dressed up in his best but had shed his jacket and was loosening his tie.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? Why don’t you finish stripping when we get inside?”

Lance was startled but that was completely forgotten when it registered who was in front of him. “Keith!”

Keith was ready to catch Lance in his arms, spinning him around before he set him down again and pulled Lance into a deep kiss.

Lance pulled away, “I thought you weren’t coming back till tomorrow.”

“Father convinced grandmother to let me use the private jet to come back. I’m sorry I missed your opening but Allura told me that it was amazing.”

Lance nodded before kissing Keith again. “Sold a lot a pieces, talked to a lot of people who wanted commissions and the manager said he wanted to leave the art up for an extra week. But I spent the whole evening wishing it was the next day so I could see you.”

Keith placed a kiss on Lance’s lips before kissing his forehead and looking at his boyfriend lovingly, brushing his cheek just as softly, “I wanted nothing more than to come back home. And I don’t mean this place right here, I mean you and your big blue eyes and really sweet kisses.”

Lance burst into giggles, his cheeks red, “why do you always say stuff like that?”

“Because that red looks really good on you.” Keith teased, before pulling Lance into another deep kiss. He was really glad to be back with Lance, no other place felt like home than when he was with him.

#klanceweek2017 #vldkdrama

[houseofvans]

Art School | Jay Croft (Akron, Ohio)

We first caught eye of Ohio-based artist and zine creator, Jay Croft’s work on his online site Street Canoe, which later evolved into a self published zine of the same title.  Not only was it a zine filled with skateboarding interviews and amazing photographs, but also housed some of our favorite pages containing Jay’s bold and clean doodles and drawings.  While he was installing artwork for his upcoming exhibition – Please Touch – at the Akron Art Museum in Ohio, we had the chance to ask Jay a couple questions about his upcoming exhibition, his work with Art Bomb Brigade, and about his super rad zine, Street Canoe.

Tell us about yourself Jay.  Who you are, where you’re from?

My Name is Jay Croft, I am from Akron, Ohio. I am a husband, father, and a maker of things. As far as something weird about me, I write with my right hand and kick with my left foot.

What’s your thoughts on being a self taught artist vs. going to art school? I never went to school for art but if people have the opportunity to do it then i highly recommend it.

Folks are always interested in process.  What’s your drawing process like and how do you keep yourself in a creative mind set?

I guess I just try to draw and make stuff all of the time. I always try and keep myself busy too. I do better when I’m busy. I guess everything starts out as a drawing

In your art and drawings, what do you find yourself gravitating towards theme wise?  

I suppose skateboarding has always been a constant in the things that I do and make. I also have always just tried to draw the people that I see in everyday life. I’m influened by so many things that I see on a day to day basis.

Name your top favorite art tools. Any new tools lately you’ve been drawn too?

A sharpie marker and just a white piece of paper is usually the norm, but lately I have been drawing on my iPad pro. It’s kinda crazy that I’m into it so much. I was always pretty much anti-computer everything, but for some reason, I’m hooked.

Can you tell us about the Art Bomb Brigade mural event you lead last year? and how it came about.  What did you enjoy the most about leading this year?

The Art Bomb Brigade is amazing. It’s basically a non profit group that is trying to beautify one wall in our city at a time. They believe that art is healthy on so many levels and that it enriches the community that it is in. I’m stoked to be involved with them. I just really liked working with other artist. It was fun trying to convey my message to them and see them bring my ideas to life. I hope i get to do it gain soon.

You’ve been painting more large scale works and lately murals.  What do you enjoy and what do you find the most challenging about it if at all?  It seems like artists always have a different approach to working large, what about you?

Painting murals is so much fun. I used to always just work on such a small scale, so working on a big scale is a breath of fresh air. I often find myself trying to make everything bigger now, even if it’s not a mural. I really like the challenge of laying it all out and figuring where everything goes. I also really enjoy the ability to improvise while your doing it.

Tell folks out there who might not know about the Street Canoe publication / zine.  What’s your history with zines and zine making.

I’ve always made zines ever since i was younger and I hadn’t made one for a few years, so I decided to make another one and street canoe was born out of that. It was originally only going to be a website. I figured I could reach more people that way. But then I figured that there needed to be something in print. I wanted to do a best of the web type thing, but that didn’t really happen. It kinda just turned into its own thing after that. I’ve released five issues and number six is on the way. I also make boards, tees, stickers, and anything else that I want to under the street canoe moniker. It’s super fun to do. I’ve always just liked zines. I never really had a favorite. I just really like magazines, always have, always will. Text and photos layed out in a creative way gets me excited.

Tell us about your most exciting project so far in 2017? 

So I have a show coming up at the Akron Art Museum In Akron, Ohio in a few days (March 2, 2017 - July 16, 2017). It’s pretty crazy to think that I’m going to have some of my stuff hanging in a museum that has some very legit art in it. I’ve shown my art all around the world ,but not once did I ever think I would have my stuff hangin in a spot that also includes Warhols, a really rad Chuck Close painting, and the list goes on and on. I’m very humbled, lucky, and honored. I still can’t believe it. The show is called Please Touch, and the concept is that your allowed to actually touch and handle the art. So I made some pieces that have movable pieces and are magnetic. It was really fun to try and come up with some new ideas and ways for people to interact with my art. I hope people find it engaging and fun. I just hope that my kids and other kids are into it. Maybe it will inspire others to think up new ways to do things in their life and art.

Best advice you’ve gotten and worse in regards to art.

I have never really gotten any advice in art, good or bad. This might sound bad, but I probably wouldn’t listen to it either way. My whole life has been about figuring stuff out on my own. I guess I’m stubborn.

Who are some of the artists then and now you really admire or just enjoy.

Oh man the list is so long… My grandpa was probably my first and major influence. He was a maker of many things, he could do it all. I’d also say Russ Pope, Rich Jacobs, Neil Blender, Chris Miller, Ron Chatman, Nat Russell, Mark Gonzales, Lance Mountain, Dr. Suess, Wayne White, the list goes on…

Ask and answer the art question you never get asked.

What’s your favorite color? Blue.

Whose someone you’d like to see get interviewed in our Art School: Q&A’s ?  

Sergej Vutuc. He’s an amazing photgrapher and artist. If you don’t know anything about him make sure to check him out. You will be stoked.

Follow Jay Croft Website: http://streetcanoe.com Instagram: @streetcanoe Tumblr: @streetcanoe​

#vans #vans art #jay croft #art school #interview #akron #skateboarding

[blankpagesofmine]

This past Friday, I had the pleasure of e-chatting on Instagram with a friend and fellow writer by the name of Craig Atkinson. I could spend time pre-ambling by saying just how great of a wordsman/sketch artist he is, but I’ll let the writer chat speak for itself. Mind you, this was kind of a laidback conversation between two fans of literature, creating literature, and general passion project fiends, so apart from a few corrected typos during the live talk, the majority of this is unedited. Also be sure to stop by Iron Lung Press and order a copy of Craig’s chapbook titled “The Longest Weekend.” It’s currently out of stock (because it’s that wonderful), but I’m sure the reprint will be making its way webside very soon. You can also find two of my chapbooks on the ILP website, titled “The House of Wander en Crone” and “Regection.”

  Blankpagesofmine: So first off, good morning. I find it interesting that when you and I chat on Instagram it’s on completely opposite schedules.

Craig: Haha. Good morning.

Blankpagesofmine: It’s funny because I’ll be up at the crack of dawn and we’ll chat for a bit, then I’ll go to work, you’re out for the night, then by the time I’m leaving you’re up again. Not sure it gets much more backwards than that haha. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to chat with me a little about our beloved craft.

Craig: You’re welcome. It works the same for me too. While I’m at work, the US is quiet. But I’ve always lived in this time zone, so nothing new to me. Australia is a hour ahead of Japan.

Blankpagesofmine: Makes sense, it’s become your normal day-to-day routine. How long have you been out in Tokyo now? What brought you out there from Australia in the first place?

Craig: It’s a little complicated, but I first landed in Tokyo in 2007 on a working holiday visa, after a year and a half in London. I lived here for another year and a half, and in that time a met my wife. We’d been together a year when my visa ended, so she decided to move to Australia with me. We lived there for 5 years, then 2013 we moved back to Tokyo.

Blankpagesofmine: That’s a very interesting movement back and forth between a few places! And also a very cool romantic story, by the way. No wonder you’re a writer, the backstory of Craig is easily something I could picture reading in an engaging novel. I’m jealous of the relocation aspect of your career because it’s something I’ve never experienced personally. I’m sure it’s had a fair share of work and effort put behind it as well, but I imagine you’re pleased with how everything turned out since first leaving Australia. I also find it fascinating because as writers, I believe that our words and stories are products of the environments we’ve lived and roamed around in. How do you draw on those locations in the chapbooks, zines, etc. that you’ve written?

Craig: My whole childhood is broken up into moving houses. I moved so many times within the same town, then in my 20s involved a lot of moves too.

A lot of my work is drawn and about the past. A certain memory will be linked to one of the places I lived.

The story sounds interesting now, but to a confused 22 year old, it was hell.

Blankpagesofmine: Wow, you’re a dude on the move for sure. I can relate, in my twenties I moved five times leading up to where I live today. And let me say for the record, the more books you buy, the more books you have to move up and down flights of stairs. The last place I relocated to, the mover actually almost threw out his back when carrying my box of espionage books! Whew. I did warn him in advance though haha. Anyway, that’s very cool! It’s interesting how your twenties, for many of us at least, were confusing and disorientating, but make for some of the best writing material one could possibly conjure up. Moving, puddle jumping from place-to-place, I can definitely pinpoint some of that in the works I’ve read of yours. Let’s get to some of your amazing publications. Between Coffee & People and The Longest Weekend, I can’t choose which one I enjoyed more. I also am drawn to the way you mesh art with writing, which isn’t something you see blended with such finesse. What inspired you to be so bold and creative with it?

Craig: Firstly, thanks.

I always considered myself terrible at drawing. And the first two Coffee & People I used photos. Then I heard on a podcast how important it is to just play for 5 minutes each day, so I bought a small notebook and started drawing, and what has came out of that is all sorts of things, including zine covers. If my writing has taught me anything, it’s by doing something every day improvement will usually follow, and that’s happening in my drawing. And for bold….

I’m 39 now, so one thing I’ve realized is that you just have to pick one or two things, you don’t even need to be good at it. Just pick something you like and are interested in, and go all in. You never know what might come of it. Also, throw some of your past in there. In my late teens I was into diy punk rock stuff. I might have lost touch in my late 20s and early 30s, but it’s never too late to return to your true love.

Blankpagesofmine: Probably one of the best tips that an artist could get, to practice for small windows of time each day just to see how the experience ups the ante a little. I agree, my sketches aren’t what I or anyone would call pieces worthy of an art gallery, but I try to spend time with it each day in the manner that you suggest. And in your case, it’s easy to see how it’s payed off. You designed one heck of a catchy logo for Iron Lung Press recently and did a mockup for the brand that I’m developing as well. Would you say that there’s a simplistic beauty to drawing and sketching that manages to see the light of day because of the wonderful world of zine and chapbook writing?

Craig: Totally. I used to have a blog, and felt so limited due to my very limited computer skills.

Blankpagesofmine: I’m inspired just to read how you feel about sticking to the passion projects that a person holds sacred. No matter the age, these things are vital to who we are and personally I couldn’t imagine a day without writing/sketching/creating. If the world has some intangible system of checks and balances, responsibilities and routine lay on one side, while being an artist/creator course corrects the other side to an even level. Glad to hear that you’re working hard at it! What’s next for you in terms of projects? What can your fans and fans-to-be expect in the upcoming months?

Craig: I just wrote a very short book review that I made into a mini zine. I want to do more of them. I’m also in the middle (and struggling) of a longer story that I’m trying to write. In the past few months. I’ve made 5 or 6 mini zines as they are easy to do in my down time at work, and also fit well while I’m working on a longer piece of writing.

Blankpagesofmine: I remember you mentioning the book review mini zine before, that’s going to the top of my queue if you end up pushing it out into a bigger release. It’s like they say in baseball, “these are the dog days.” The intro to a story or novel usually starts with a bang and then it’s surviving those hallowing dog days through to the end. I wish you luck with that, I’m sure you’ll find a way to see through it. That’s a versatile approach which I dig very much, not putting all your eggs in one basket and piecing together a few works at once. On a side and complete unrelated note, I’ve been wanting to ask for awhile now. 1) Are you big into music/what bands and songs get the creatively motivational wheels churning for you? 2) What’s a big to-do in your region for fun? Going to a theater to see films? Outdoors time? Exercise? All of the above?

Craig: Yeah, writing is a weird beast. I fight with it for months, then in some random place I get the answer of how to end the story, and I’ll have to scribble it down on a piece of paper there and then.

I used to be heavily into music.

Since 95 when I was 15 and heard Dookie for the first time. I was also learning the drums at that time, so a few years later I met some friends and we decided to start a band.

We played together for 3 years, also practicing daily.

I moved away from music when I was 25 (2005) when I started traveling. I didn’t, and still don’t have a computer (write on my phone or iPad), and just started reading.

Now, I listen to a bit of music, but currently focused on books. (I know some people will be mind blown)

Fun things??? Hmmm…. Drinking good coffee, writing, and reading.

Blankpagesofmine: To shamelessly quote one of the greats, “when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” And here’s the living proof! Dookie was a crazy addictive album, I’m with you there. Between that and a few other 90s rock/punk/grunge boppers, it’s all I wanted to listen to. That must have been a heck of a time, what instrument did you play? Any vocals? And of course, the most prominent and important question here…what was the name of the band?? Haha. If there was ever a more perfect substitute based on the circumstances, you can’t go wrong with reading. NO WAY! We love those things over here too! I guess the world is smaller than I originally thought 🙂 nice to see that opposite ends of the world share similar interests.

Craig: I played drums. I wrote one song, and sang it. I’d drummed for 2 years and the other two just started learning their instruments the week we started. We were friends first. You can find an album we recorded on Spotify. We were called Mondo Pest. I had very little to do with words and reading back then, but the lead singer (who is still playing live shows) did introduce me to my favorite zinester, Cometbus.

We recorded on a number of things (comps and alike), but the album is the only thing I can find online.

Blankpagesofmine: Get out of here, an album on Spotify? How insane is that, I never would’ve known. I know exactly what I’ll be listening to come Monday on my commute to work. Drumming is one of the most skilled instruments out there and I think that’s awesome. Never had a knack for it, but I did play the trumpet for awhile. I do dabble in the fine art of Guitar Hero every now and again though (insert rock on emoji). This has been a really great chat man and I appreciate you taking the time out on an early weekend morning to do so! We will have to rally again for a Part II to this discussion, because I didn’t get a chance to get through a chunk of what I wanted to because the topics just transpired into an incredible realm of their own.

Craig: Haha. I was terrible, and still are. Seriously.

Thanks man.

Diorama Society – Writer Chat w/ Craig Atkinson – 4/12/2019 This past Friday, I had the pleasure of e-chatting on Instagram with a friend and fellow writer by the name of Craig Atkinson.

#author #blogging #interview #literature #reading #self-published #writing

[vileart]

Ultra Dramaturgy: Rosie Kay on tour

Scottish-born choreographer returns with subversive new show, MK ULTRA

• A new dance work, performed by seven young dancers, explores conspiracy theory within the entertainment industry and the idea that child stars are brainwashed from a young age • Lady Gaga designer Gary Card creates his first costume designs for contemporary dance • Adam Curtis, known for Hypernormalisation that recently featured on the BBC, is a creative collaborator on the show and has created short films to be shown throughout What was the inspiration behind this performance?

This is the third part of a trilogy of works, tackling big ‘non-dinner-party’ topics! The first was war + the body (5 Soldiers), the second was exploring religion through the body (There is Hope) and this final part was to be politics and the body. I went in quite a few directions to begin with, exploring the novel 1984, surveillance, propaganda and even torture. 

Through my research, I came across an online world of conspiracy theory, some I’d heard of, or were on my periphery, and others that were new to me. When I came across the conspiracy theory that pop stars are under the control of ‘The Illuminati’ (some kind of shadowy elite that control music, fashion, entertainment but also politics, science, finance) I felt that it was an exciting area to explore. 

The theory is that children are picked, and then undergo some kind of brainwashing, which was invented by the CIA (this is partly based on real historical events - the CIA developed brainwashing experiments in the 1950s and 1960s, one such method was code named MK Ultra). 

These pop stars then are catapulted into extreme stardom and while achieving worldwide global fame, are under a strict and ultimately destructive kind of brainwashing that can start to affect them, hence the breakdowns. It’s a fantastical theory, but it hit me with something true about the world we live in now - our weird celebrity culture clashing with ‘real news’ of war and atrocities, and our distrust in news and now ‘fake news’. I think we are all questioning what kind of reality we are living in.

After deciding on the subject matter, I wanted to know if it were just a small group of fanatics that knew about it, or if young people were aware of this alternative information about mainstream pop stars. 

I conducted workshops with 14-25 year olds all over the East and West Midlands and asked them ostensibly about their view on ‘mainstream’ media. Eventually, the magic words ‘the Illuminati’ would be whispered and when I told them I wanted to know everything about this, they erupted! 

One girl was heard as she left the workshop saying ‘I can’t believe we just talked about the illuminati in the classroom’. Young people not only knew about the theories I’d investigated, they’d known about them for a long time, and they were also aware that it may or may not be true. This was such an interesting state of being to me, that Adam Curtis and I returned to interview quite a few of the young people I’d worked with initially to include their opinions in the show.

Is performance still a good space for the public discussion of ideas?

Well, there are others ways of course, through writing, through talking, through other art forms and media. For me, dance helps me understand the mysteries of the world - some things can be killed if explained or rationalized, so many ideas live in the felt, lived and emotional dimension. I think dance has the magic to capture that. 

I also want to make people think and to challenge their perceptions, and so through my work, I use dance, but also non-linear narrative, character, video, music and documentary to help audiences find different ways into my world. I think we crave group experiences, and so a performance can give us a shared experience, and with my work, hopefully the space to have your own interpretation of it. I love that fact that in dance you do have to think and interpret a bit. 

You have to watch and go, ‘OK what’s happening here’. I let layers of meaning be revealed, but I like not to be too explicit at all times, and leave areas of question and doubt. These form spaces that you join together in your mind.

How did you become interested in making performance?

I think I danced before I could talk. Dance for me was a way of making sense of the world. The world is so vast, so confusing, and I felt things so strongly, that dance was at once a strong discipline and daily personal practice, with its ritual and repetition. 

It was also an emotional release, a place I could channel my heart and soul through my body and find that it communicated deeply with people. Now I perform far less, but I seek this quality from the artists I work with, and I help draw it out of them. I think my company are extraordinary dancers, but they are also exceptional performers, actors and communicators.

Is there any particular approach to the making of the show?

Yes- there is a very particular way I’ve made this work, and its quite odd. After the research on the Internet and with groups of young people, I spent time with my company doing task-based work and trying to find the physical language of the work. It’s a hybrid world of pop, street, hip-hop dance styles but I wanted it to have an Avant-Garde cutting edge feel with contemporary and ballet techniques running through the movement vocabulary. I couldn’t find it at first, so I went into the studio on my own and improvised with the music tracks I thought captured the feel of the work. 

I realized that this highly original, and slightly weird language was in my body, so I filmed my improvisations, normally doing 3 or 4 on a set theme or set section of music, then chose the best, or the one I thought captured what I wanted, and gave it to the dancer. Each dancer received a video of their solo and they all received a video of the unison work. The first week was a bizarre sight. 

They were plugged into laptops and iPads with headphones in, each meticulously learning their sections alone or in groups. It was a little alienating for them at first, but we’d do sharings every few hours and it was incredible how this language developed through all their bodies.

Does the show fit with your usual productions?

For one, I don’t have a ‘usual’ production. I think all my productions are unique, but together they add up to a body of unique works with unique approaches to subject and form. MK Ultra is the work I wanted to make, and it really does make sense if seen with its predecessors, 5 Soldiers and There is Hope. Through these three works, I’ve tested myself enormously, whether it be through the intense research, through the methodologies of each work, which felt very authentic to the subject matter, or though the results. 

MK Ultra is like the others in that it is very visual, has emotional depth, and its quite intricately choreographed, but it’s not like the others, because the subject matter demanded very different things from me. I’m interested to see where I go next, as I feel my palette is now ready to stabalise and become more highly articulate, perhaps in fewer directions.

What do you hope the audience will experience?

I want the audience to go with me on a brainwashing experience. I want them to sit on a lovely line between mainstream pop entertainment and disturbing avant-garde art! MK Ultra is

visually dazzling, over stimulating, beautiful, disturbing and funny. I want audiences to be on the edge of their seats and also let their brains go free!

What strategies did you consider towards shaping this audience experience?

Wow- we’ve used a lot here! We have mind-boggling original documentary footage from Adam Curtis, which includes interviews with MK Ultra victims and the CIA boss who sanctioned it, we’ve got full-on illuminati referencing, mind bending video work from Louis Price, we’ve got trippy repetitive music composed by Annie Mahtani, and of course we have seven utterly incredible, athletic performers who give it heart and soul. We also have Gary Card’s stunning costumes, which have been described as a ‘work of art’ in themselves, or alternatively, ‘a masonic rave’! I find the work overwhelming. It’s at once glossy pop and heart-felt art. It’s beautiful.

Rosie Kay Dance Company, headed by artistic director and choreographer Rosie Kay and winner of Best Independent Company at the Critics’ Circle National Dance Awards in 2015, finishes its UK tour of MK ULTRA in Stirling on Thursday 18 May at Macrobert Art Centre. The show has created headlines in The Guardian, Financial Times and iNews for its exploration of mind control and subliminal messaging within the entertainment industry - a theory that grew from the CIA's real mind control experiments in the 60s. Following several years of research with young people into the world of contemporary pop culture and their theories around who pulls the strings behind the scenes of politics, economics and the entertainment industry, MK ULTRA will bring a hypnotic, supercharged mash-up of dance, music, costume and film to the stage. Renowned for tackling pertinent and challenging subject matters, RKDC’s latest work is timely in the context of ‘fake news’ and ‘alternative facts’ as it explores how easily fact and fiction can get tangled. Born in Scotland, Rosie Kay is one of the UK’s leading female choreographers and is renowned for her athletic movement, rigorous research and intelligent theatricality. Kay, a research associate to the University of Oxford School of Anthropology and Museum Ethnography, choreographed the hit feature film Sunshine on Leith and is best known for the five star and award-winning 5 SOLDIERS. Also featuring in the team is sought-after designer Gary Card who will be designing his first costumes for contemporary dance. A set designer, illustrator and one of London’s most talked about talents, Card has worked with pop stars such as Lady Gaga, designing props and headdresses for her Monster Ball tour. His designs have also featured in the collections of Comme Des Garçons, Topshop, House of Holland, Nike, Adidas, Stella McCartney and Penguin. Rosie Kay had this to say about the show: “MK Ultra is the result of three years intense research, which have taken me through the world of surveillance, state police, torture and brainwashing, through to pop culture, mainstream media and celebrity breakdowns, all the way back to politics and a comment on the post-culturism state we are in now. Spending time exploring the deep rabbit hole of conspiracy theory took me into strange realms of CIA brainwashing, celebrity training and Illuminati symbolism hidden in pop culture. At a time when everything is fake, or at least we don’t trust what’s real any more, MK Ultra looks at what this world really feels like and what affect it is having on us, whether we know it or not. Be prepared for high-energy, high-octane dance, a mash up of dance styles, subliminal and secret messages, incredible video, light and costume visuals, music that wraps around your senses and a deeper, darker political edge. Be prepared, there is twerking.” Filmmaker Adam Curtis said: “Over the past twenty years millions of people have given up believing in the grand stories told them by politicians and others in power. This has created a vacuum into which have rushed all kinds of strange and bizarre stories about the hidden forces that are really controlling the world. I find them fascinating - because, on the one hand they show how in our chaotic and uncertain time people are desperately seeking evidence that someone, anyone, is really in control. But at the same time people also hate the idea of control - because everybody these days wants to be an independent, free individual. And I think it is the tension between these two - the desire for control and the desire for freedom - that leads to such strange and bizarre stories rising up. I think Rosie’s idea to explore this strange world is brilliant. Because it is a way of looking at how people really see the world today. It’s a way of looking behind the shiny surface of modern society - a surface that the politicians and their journalistic allies are desperately trying to hold in place - and seeing the real tensions and anxieties that are actually shaping how we feel today.” MK ULTRA will feature seven outstanding dancers- Shanelle Clemenson, Harriet Ellis, Shelley Eva Haden, Lizzie Klotz, Joao Maio, Ryan Munroe and Oliver Russell. MK ULTRA is supported using public funding by Arts Council England and is commissioned by DanceXchange, Warwick Arts Centre & Birmingham Repertory Theatre. from the vileblog http://ift.tt/2rZUIb2

#Theatre #Blogger #visual art #Edinburgh Fringe #Experimental Critique