#this is a mild example of my usual tastes and habits when it comes to fic & fiction

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hi. here's a little over 5k words for the modern human au! entirely unedited, as usual! you'd think this is a full oneshot... ha... no... i actually have some warnings for this one - hospitals, panic attacks, major character injury / discussion of death / clinical description of injury.

in short, my writing comfort zone <3

~

The dial tone plays, and Barnaby looks down at his phone. Call ended stares back at him under Wally’s cheerful profile picture.

“He hung up on me,” Barnaby states. His lips twist and he tosses the phone onto the couch with a snarl of, “That little bastard.”

“Hey now,” Howdy says sharply, frowning at him. “That’s our friend you’re talking about.”

“Like he doesn’t deserve it! All I do is be supportive, understanding, and worry about his damn well being. And then he goes and acts like my very much well-founded concern is an attack!”

Howdy’s frown softens as he watches Barnaby pace, gesturing wildly.

“I love that RV. Maybe not as much as Wally, obviously, but it pains me that it needs to go. And it does need to go! Thing’s becoming a damn deathtrap.” Barnaby pushes his hair back and huffs. He glances at Howdy. “Right? I’m making the right call, here?”

“Of course you are,” Howdy says. “But-”

Barnaby cuts him off. “I tried to be nice about it. I tried to warm him up to the idea of retiring Home, yaknow? And what does he do instead of handling it - he revs up the tin can and runs. Home shouldn’t be started, let alone driven. It’s dangerous.”

It’s extremely dangerous. Wally is skilled at driving it, but no amount of skill will save him if it breaks in the middle of the freeway. What if the engine catches fire? What if a tire pops, or comes loose? Home is old, and wasn’t made to crumple in a crash. Barnaby doesn’t even know if the airbag still works. It’s not safe. 

The thought of Wally bringing Home hurtling down the freeway at ten at night in a - quite honestly - not great mental state turns Barnaby’s stomach. 

“I just wanted him to come back so we could talk about it,” Barnaby says. “I let him keep worming his way out of a serious conversation and now - now he’s -”

“Running away,” Howdy finishes. The point of his pen taps a rhythm against his notepad. 

Barnaby jabs a finger at him. “Exactly. One tough, necessary decision and he turns tail. This isn’t gonna go away if he skips town! Not to mention how he isn’t giving a thought to how this might affect the rest of us.”

“Especially you.”

Barnaby throws his hands up with an indignant look. “Now not only do I have to hunt him down-”

“That would be a we scenario, Barn.”

“But we,” Barnaby concedes, “gotta try to knock some sense into that thick skull ‘a his, and drag him back home - kicking and screaming if we hafta.” 

Howdy’s pen taps faster. “What if he doesn’t want to come back?”

“What if he-” Barnaby stops short and stares at him, wide eyed. 

That’s not. 

That wouldn’t happen, right? Wally would come back in the end. He wouldn’t decide to up and leave entirely, would he? He is in Home… all the essentials he needs are in that RV. Barnaby sits down heavily on Howdy’s threadbare couch. “What if he doesn’t want to come back.”

Wally would have to come back to clear out his studio - he’d never abandon his art. Then they’d have to go through everything inside the house and see what he wants to take, since not all of it is Barnaby’s. A lot of it is shared, so they might have to bargain on who gets what. 

Then they’d all have to watch Wally get into his motorhome and drive away. Possibly for good. 

Barnaby would be alone in that big house with Welcome, knowing that his closest companion is out of his life. Living somewhere else. It's sickening. 

“I’m sure it won’t come to that, Barn,” Howdy says, watching him with furrowed brows and a deep frown - if Barnaby were feeling like himself, he’d crack a joke about him emulating Frank. “I can confidently say that Wally loves you more than that old RV.”

Barnaby snorts. “You sure about that?”

“Unflinchingly. Believe you me, he’s going to wallow for a day or so, and then Home will come rumbling back down your driveway like it never left.”

“I wish I could have your faith,” Barnaby mumbles. He exhales and picks up his phone. No missed calls, no messages. “Maybe if I call him and ask him to just come back, no strings attached, he will.”

“That’s the spirit! Save the talk for another day - tell you what, I’ll help you corrall him so he can’t escape the conversation. I’ll tie him to a chair and bar the door if needed!”

“Good luck with that. Kid’s slippery.” Still, Barnaby hits call again. It rings only a couple of times before a robotic automated message states the caller as unavailable. Barnaby doesn’t enjoy being upset with Wally. However, it feels like his blood is simmering, and the wall is starting to look like great target practice for his phone. He grits his teeth. “He turned off his phone.”

From the corner of his eye he sees Howdy’s eyebrows shoot up as the man turns back to his paperwork. He exhales a controlled breath and writes something down. “I have to say, I’ve never known him to be such a-”

“Pain in the neck?” Barnaby offers.

Howdy clicks his tongue. “You said it, not me.”

“Yeah, well, he’s full of surprises.” Barnaby lets out a frustrated huff. He’s half tempted to run Wally down right now, but he wouldn’t even know where to start. There’s only one freeway out of town, but it goes both ways, and it branches. Wally would have hit one of those branches by now, and who knows which he took. North, south, east, west. Deeper into the woods, or towards the city? To the coast? Somewhere else entirely?

He has to face the facts - there’s nothing to do. He just has to wait until Wally pulls his head out of his ass and realizes how stupid and insensitive he’s being. Those are two words Barnaby would never normally use to describe Wally, but after tonight? They seem fitting. 

Barnaby can’t even muster up guilt for thinking such harsh things. He tried to be nice. He was patient. He’s always kept a lid on it whenever Wally frustrated him, which doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. And what does he get for caring? For being tactful and careful about a shitty situation? 

Avoidance, a shove, and a cut call. Wally left Barnaby’s been left to stew in his own anger and worry. Right now, he’s inclined to lock up that worry in a tiny box in the back of his mind. 

Barnaby pushes himself up with a grumbled, “I’m makin’ some coffee, want some?”

“If you’re offering then I will not decline.”

Barnaby pretends not to feel Howdy’s eyes following him to the apartment’s tiny kitchen. It’s hell to maneuver around in, and the frustration of bumping into something every five seconds only makes Barnaby’s mood worse. By the time the coffee is brewing, he’s ready to punch the cabinets. He won’t, but he wants to. He’d regret it immediately, but he stares at the chipped paint and fantasizes. 

The coffee machine breaks after brewing a whopping single mug. Barnaby stares at it for a long moment, and tallies up the consequences of taking a hammer to it. In the end, he just clenches his fists for a long moment and counts to ten. He takes the mug and sets it in front of Howdy, then goes to the window to brood. Thankfully Howdy is too reabsorbed in his work to notice beyond a mumbled thanks.

For the next hour, Barnaby’s thoughts are entirely composed of Wally. Different scenarios of what might happen next, how Barnaby might handle those situations without shaking Wally for doing something so needlessly reckless, and cruel daydreams of setting Home on fire. Barnaby wants to feel bad about that. He doesn’t. That damn RV has caused two different rifts between Barnaby and Wally - and Barnaby was the one to fix both of them, because both times Wally just left. 

He gets it. He really does - for a time Home was all that Wally had. It’s been with him since Wally was thirteen, and if the thought of retiring it to a dump makes Barnaby sad, he can only imagine how much it distresses Wally. Well, he can do more than make an educated guess. Wally practically told him tonight, if not with words than with actions.

Still. They’re adults - Wally is older than him, if only by a handful of months. When does Barnaby ever ask something of him? When does Barnaby ever push? Why can’t Wally see that Home is becoming a liability, and why won’t he listen? Barnaby can’t make it make sense. 

Wally has always been more inclined to avoid conflict, but this is too far. Barnaby swears, when he tracks Wally down he’s going wring that scrawny little-

His phone is ringing. 

Barnaby lunges for it, relief dousing his anger. He picks it up, ready to give Wally a piece of his mind and then beg him to come back-

“It’s an unknown number,” he says, shoulders slumping. Of course it’s an unknown number. Wally wouldn’t change on a dime and decide to be considerate for once. He exchanges an exasperated look with Howdy and declines. He goes to set the phone down - the number calls back.

“That’s one determined scammer,” Howdy says. He leans back in his chair and holds out a hand. “I’ll deal with ‘em.”

Barnaby is all too happy to hand it over. Let the poor sap on the other end of the line deal with a master swindler. 

“Howdy-hi, how can I help?” Howdy starts with a mischievous grin thrown Barnaby’s way? He leans back in the chair and hums. “Who, may I query, is asking?”

All at once, the ease drains out of Howdy and he stops fidgeting. He sits up, already looking at Barnaby with a paled expression that has something cold slithering down Barnaby’s spine. Something is wrong.

“He’s right here.” Howdy holds out the phone. His throat works uselessly for a moment before he plainly states the obvious, “It’s for you.”

Barnaby takes it, his mouth abruptly dry. Howdy is already up and moving - grabbing his coat, his keys. “Hello?”

“Is this Barnaby Beagle?” a professional feminine voice asks, tinny through the phone.

“B. Beagle, yeah.”

The woman introduces herself as the nearest city’s hospital, and Barnaby’s heart drops through the floor. She asks him to confirm that he’s Wally Darling’s emergency contact. He confirms, his voice sounding distant to his own ears. Howdy takes his arm and gestures to his shoes by the door, spurring Barnaby into motion.

“Is he okay?” Barnaby manages to say. He puts the wrong shoe on the wrong foot and almost curses aloud as he switches it. 

“Mr. Darling was involved in an automobile accident,” is all the hospital employee says. “He was brought in a few minutes ago.”

Barnaby steadies himself against the doorjamb, choking on a whispered, “Oh, god.” 

Keys jingle as Howdy opens the door and pulls Barnaby through, then locks the door behind them.

“But is he okay?” Barnaby asks again as they hurry down the short hallway to the stairs. 

“I’m not at liberty to disclose that information at present.”

It’s bad. It has to be bad if they won’t say anything over the phone. He must be silent for too long, because Howdy takes the phone, tells her they’ll be there soon, and hangs up. He tucks the phone into Barnaby’s pocket before opening the door to the store’s back lot. 

The frigid air slaps the shock out of Barnaby, and sensation comes flooding back in. He grabs the keys out of Howdy’s hand and strides to the car with long, powerful strides that would leave anyone shorter than Howdy in the dust.

“Are you sure-”

“I’m driving,” Barnaby growls, cutting Howdy off.

Howdy makes a disapproving noise, but relents. They get in and Barnaby adjusts his seat with harsh movements, jabs the key into the ignition because Howdy’s car is a dated hunk of junk, and peels out of the parking space before Howdy even has his seatbelt all the way on. 

Howdy clings to the ceiling handle as the car tears down the mostly empty street, going at least ten miles over the speed limit. Barnaby doesn’t know exactly where the hospital is, but he knows how to get to the city. They can figure it out from there. Several people honk as Barnaby brings them flying onto the freeway. 

“Holy Marilyn marmalade!” Howdy screeches as they narrowly avoid side-swiping a minivan. 

Barnaby ignores him and cuts off a pickup to get into the right lane for the interchange. Howdy whispers a string of something high pitched and strained and clings to the handle with both hands. 

It takes him a moment to parse out the constant ramble as, “-pull over pull over pull over pull over-” Two honks and a squeal of tires as Barnaby almost causes an accident, and Howdy yells in a louder and deeper tone than Barnaby has ever heard from him, “PULL OVER!”

Barnaby clenches his jaw and cuts across the carpool lane’s double whites. It only takes a moment to reach the shoulder. Howdy leaps out of the passenger seat as soon as the car stops, marches to Barnaby’s side, and wrenches the door open.

“Out,” he snaps, breathing hard. “Barnaby, I swear to all things priceless, get out. “

Barnaby meets his steely gaze for all of a second before unbuckling and getting out. Cars whip by. Howdy huffs at him and slips into the driver’s seat, muttering about recklessness and disasters and if you would wait to try and kill us until we’re right outside the hospital, if only to save us the ambulance fee-

When Barnaby gets into the passenger seat, Howdy waits for him to buckle in with fingertips drumming on the steering wheel. He merges onto the freeway smoothly and carefully. They go slower than the speed Barnaby had them flying down the asphalt at, and it makes something deeply impatient itch in him, but it’s safer. 

“I know you’re upset,” Howdy says, eyes still fixed on the road, “and I know that you’re scared. But what in hell’s bells was that, Barn?”

Barnaby side eyes him and grimaces, folding his arms. “I don’t know. I’m sorry - I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that.”

“You put yourself in danger too, you know.” Howdy sighs and relaxes his grip on the steering wheel. “We’re of no use to Wally if we get ourselves in a crash. What would he say?”

“Whatever he’d say would be hypocritical,” Barnaby says before he can think better of it.

Howdy glances sharply at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“He..” Barnaby’s voice fails on him, and he swallows hard. “He was in an accident.”

Howdy is silent for a full few seconds before he exhales a thin, pained sound. “Oh, Walls…”

He must not know what else to say, which is good and well, because Barnaby doesn’t either. A long few minutes pass of silence. Headlights of passing cars on the other side of the freeway flash over them before plunging back into darkness. The dials on the dash glow. The check engine light is on. They’ll need to get gas in order to make it home. 

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” Howdy says. He’s tapping the steering wheel again. “It’s likely just a few scrapes and bruises, at worst a broken bone. Nothing Wally can’t handle, and certainly nothing to be concerned over.”

Barnaby can’t bring himself to agree. Maybe… maybe if Wally was driving slowly… but that wouldn’t matter if someone crashed into him with enough force. Home is a large, sturdy vehicle, but it isn’t invulnerable. Wally certainly isn’t.

Without the distraction of driving, all Barnaby can think about is the what ifs. Yeah, what if he’s only a little bit hurt, but what if it’s worse? All of the worst images Barnaby can think of roll through his mind like a messed up movie reel.

Wally dead on the scene, caught in a hunk of twisted metal. 

Wally, choking on his own blood in an ambulance, dying en route to the hospital.

Wally flatlining on a metal table. 

Wally’s small body covered with a sheet-

“Almost there,” Howdy says, slowing at a stoplight. It bathes them both in red. Barnaby didn’t notice when they got off the freeway. 

Barnaby squeezes his eyes shut and presses his forehead to the cold window. After a moment, a slender hand rests on his thigh and squeezes. It’s such a small, stupid thing, but Barnaby breathes a little easier. 

Despite the drive down the freeway feeling like it took hours, the drive through city streets to the hospital passes in a blink. Before Barnaby knows it the car is spiraling up to an upper floor of the parking garage. The floor is mostly empty - Howdy pulls into a spot right by glass double doors. 

Barnaby gets out a split seconds before Howdy, staring at the pristine white walls just inside the doors. In a moment he’ll find out if it’s not that bad, or if he’s about to have the worst night of his life. He’s been to a hospital twice. The last time was for Howdy, but he went with the knowledge that it was only a precaution. The other time was for Mama’s health scare. 

That had been terrifying. The waiting, the wondering, the too-bright hallways and the staff’s rigid smiles. It ended well, but it had still been horrible, and hospitals took center stage in some of his recurring nightmares. Barnaby never wanted to see another loved one in a hospital bed again.

Looks like he doesn’t have a choice. 

Howdy comes around from the driver’s side and lays a hand on Barnaby’s shoulder. “If you need a moment to-”

“Nah,” Barnaby says, his voice rough. He nods and adjusts his sleeves. “Better rip the bandaid off.”

They go into the sterile maze. The bright overhead lights dazzle Barnaby’s eyes after being in the dim parking garage, and he grimaces at the strong odor of antiseptic and floor polish. Howdy makes a beeline for the nearest receptionist and talks to her in rushed, low tones. 

Barnaby shuffles after him, rubbing his shaking hands together and eyeing every person in scrubs that walks past. Something beeps somewhere. He thinks he hears someone crying. This is a place without color, art, or happiness. 

“This way,” Howdy says, walking past him and tilting his head at the elevator. Barnaby follows, feeling like a lost puppy dropped at the side of the road. 

A nurse gets into the elevator with them and politely smiles before staring at the floor counter and pretending they don’t exist. It’s fine with Barnaby. If he has to make small talk right now, he might actually snap. The man’s pink scrubs are almost an eyesore in the harsh lighting. 

The elevator dings, and they all get out on the same floor. Howdy reads door plaques and wall signs like a hawk, his head turning on a swivel as he reads everything at lightning speed. Barnaby nearly has to jog to keep up with his hurried pace. 

Howdy changes direction without warning and heads straight for a door at the end of a short offshoot hallway. Barnaby reads the sign next to the door.

[can’t remember if it’s icu or the other thing, research later]

It’s bad.

The waiting room is small - longer than it is wide, and there’s a woman sleeping in a chair in the corner. It looks nicer than the emergency room, or where Barnaby waited to see his mama. The benches have colorful cushions, and the walls are a pastel green instead of white. There’s an abstract geometric painting on the wall next to the woman. 

Barnaby slowly takes a seat on stiff cushions, watching Howdy talk to the receptionist from afar. He nods and pats the counter before joining Barnaby. He sits close enough that their legs press together.

“Someone will get us up to speed as soon as there’s news,” Howdy says. “I tried to pry some more out of him, but he wouldn’t give up another word.”

Barnaby nods, staring down at his hands. His nail polish is already chipping, despite Julie painting them only last weekend. Barnaby picks at the bright red on his pinkie until Howdy pulls his hand away and enfolds it in both of his own. 

When Howdy takes a deep breath, Barnaby finds himself mimicking him. Their gazes meet - Howdy’s is unflinching, and steady. He smiles and runs his thumb over Barnaby’s knuckles, soothing the nervous trembling, and Barnaby is struck by how darn grateful he is to have Howdy with him. 

If he had to do all of this alone… Barnaby doesn’t think he could. Either he’d have gotten himself into a crash to join Wally, or he would still be sitting in his car, staring at the hospital doors. He doesn’t have the courage. But Howdy does, and Barnaby loves him for it. 

For once, Howdy lets the time pass in silence, though after a long stretch of indeterminable time he gets up to pace. The bench cushions are high quality, but they start to feel uncomfortable. Barnaby doesn’t dare go for a walk. At least they’re not the usual waiting room chairs - he’d rather stand than try to fit into those plastic, narrow things. 

At some point the woman in the corner wakes up. She startles seeing two strangers in the room with her, but quickly ignores them. Barely a few minutes pass before she leaves, mumbling something about coffee. She doesn’t come back. Barnaby spends a while wondering why - did she go home, or wait somewhere else, or did she receive news in the halls?

Howdy sits down again and starts typing furiously on his phone. When Barnaby gives him a curious nudge, he quietly explains that he’s texting the group chat. Barnaby feels a twinge of guilt at that. He completely forgot to let everyone know that there’s a… situation. Who knows if any of them will see it until morning. 

Message sent, Howdy gets up to pace some more. His rhythmic gait gives Barnaby something to focus on, seeing as the clock on the wall is silent, and the receptionist seems to be sleeping. Barnaby could probably pass time on his own phone, but every second spent distracted is a second he might miss someone coming to tell them…

What? Tell them what, exactly? That Wally is okay? That he can receive visitors? 

That he didn’t make it?

The door opens, startling Barnaby to his feet. Howdy scurries over from the far side of the room and rests a steadying hand on Barnaby’s lower back. A woman clad in blue scrubs enters, reading something on a clipboard. There are shadows under her eyes, and she looks beyond exhausted. Barnaby can sympathize.

“Mr. Beagle?” the doctor asks, looking between them. When Barnaby nods, she smiles thinly, gaze flicking briefly to Howdy. “Hi. I’m Dr. Allen. Before I disclose any sensitive information, I’d like to confirm what your relation to the patient is.”

The question gives Barnaby pause. He’s always had a difficult time putting his and Wally’s relationship into simple terms, because it’s anything but. Wally is his best friend, his dearest companion, the man he lives with and can’t imagine being without. 

“He’s my partner,” Barnaby settles on, because it’s a good umbrella term. Partner can mean a lot of things, and people don’t usually pry for specifics. “We’re as good as family.”

Dr. Allen writes something down on her clipboard. “No worries, I’m not going to kick you out if you’re not - you’re his emergency contact for a reason, after all. It’s just basic information that I’d like to have on hand.”

“Course - so how is he?” Barnaby cuts straight to the chase. He’s not in the mood for niceties. 

“Well, Mr. Darling is certainly giving us a run for our money,” Allen sighs. “He’s not out of the woods yet, but I believe he’s gotten through the worst of it.”

“He’ll make it?”

Allen offers another tight lipped smile. “We’re doing our best.”

Barnaby has seen enough hospital dramas to know that we’re doing our best means no promises, prepare for the worst. Howdy must feel the tension gripping him like a vice, because his hand slips from Barnaby’s back to his hand. 

“What are his injuries, if I may?” Howdy asks. 

“I’m not sure-”

“Please. We’d rather know than wonder.” 

Allen looks between them and sighs again. She flips a page on her clipboard. “Unfortunately, there was a bit of time between the crash and when emergency services were called. Between blood loss and the near-freezing temperatures, Mr. Darling developed mild hypothermia.”

Wally was dying, cold and alone in the wreckage of his home for who knows how long before anyone came to help. Barnaby sways in place, and Howdy helps him sit down on a bench instead of the floor. Allen looks apprehensive.

“Keep going,” Barnaby rasps. He needs to know.

Allen doesn’t look happy about it, but she continues. “Mr. Darling also suffered several low-grade lacerations from shrapnel, some fractured ribs, a compound fracture in his left tibia, and currently unidentified damage to his right hand and lower arm.”

Barnaby swallows a mournful sound. That’s fine, it’s fine. Broken bones heal - Wally will be painting again in no time. 

“He also developed an intracranial hematoma. It’s been treated, but we won’t know the extent of the damage until Mr. Darling wakes up.”

“What is that?” Howdy asks before Barnaby can figure out how to speak again. “Intracranial hematoma - tell me if I’m wrong, but that sounds like a head injury.”

“It is - in layman’s terms, it’s a brain bleed. Head trauma can cause bleeding inside the skull, which puts pressure on the brain. We caught it as quickly as feasibly possible, which should raise his chance of a full recovery.” Allen flips the clipped page back into place. “There may still be lesser complications and injuries we haven’t been able to diagnose or address yet. I’ll be forward with you - this is one of the worst crash cases I’ve seen in some time. Mr. Darling was lucky to be found alive.”

Allen goes on to offer platitudes that Wally is a fighter, and easily answers the flood of questions Howdy has about the mentioned injuries. It all sounds distant. Underwater. The room is too small and the air is stale - are the vents working? Is there a window they can open?

In a blink - and yet the conversation lasts ages - Allen promises to come back with more information as soon as she has it. She smiles one last time and leaves. 

“Barn?” Howdy sounds muffled. “Barn, are you alright?”

What kind of question is that? Of course Barnaby isn’t alright - his best friend is dying, likely on this very floor. There’s a chance he’s already dead. Barnaby might have already lost him, he just doesn’t know it yet. 

Mr. Darling was lucky to be found alive. 

One of the worst crash cases I’ve seen in some time. 

Mild hypothermia - brain bleed - lacerations - fractures.

Lesser complications and injuries we haven’t been able to diagnose or address yet.

We’re doing our best.

“He hung up on me, the little bastard-”

Barnaby is up and out the door before he registers moving. He staggers down the hallways in a blur, everything swirling together into a mess of sight and sound as his lungs struggle to get a full breath. He bypasses the elevator and takes the stairs down to the level they parked on. 

The cold air does nothing to help him breathe. Barnaby chokes on it as he leans against the rough wall grasping at his chest. Howdy is there immediately - he must have been on Barnaby’s heels the whole time. 

“Talk to me, Barn,” Howdy pleads, a hand on the back of his neck and the other over the one Barnaby has on his chest. “What is it - you’re not having a heart attack, are you? Tell me you aren’t, I can’t handle that right now.”

Barnaby doesn’t know. Maybe? He feels like he is. He can’t breathe. He tries to say so, but the ragged gasps his breathing has devolved into doesn’t allow it. Howdy must know something he doesn’t, because he doesn’t run to get a doctor.

“How can I help?” he asks instead.

“Don’t - don’t - know,” Barnaby wheezes. 

“Okay, alright, don’t worry, Barn, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Let’s try, ah - what were the steps? I didn’t exactly write them down, though in hindsight I should’ve - that’s not the point! It was… what a time to take after Eddie’s memory-”

It shouldn’t be helping, but Howdy’s constant stream of words grabs Barnaby’s attention. He manages to inhale nearly a full breath before it stutters back out and he’s struggling again.

“Breathing!” Howdy says. “Yes, that was it - Barnaby, I need you to focus on me. Copy my breathing.”

He sucks in a slow, dramatic breath through his nose and exhales just as slowly through his mouth. Barnaby catches on and tries to mimic him, but-

“Can’t, I ca-an’t,” Barnaby says. His chest hurts. 

Howdy presses their foreheads together. “Yes, you can. Come now, Barn, in… out. Simplest thing in the world.”

It doesn’t feel simple, but Barnaby tries. It feels like forever before he manages a full inhale. He butchers the exhale, but Howdy praises the minor win before launching right back into measured breathing. 

Barnaby finally manages a slow inhale and exhale, and suddenly it feels like the pressure filling his chest has vanished. He slumps against the wall, worn out. He puts his hand over Howdy’s mouth in the middle of another dramatic demonstration.

“You’re alright now?” Howdy says, peeling his hand off. Barnaby nods, and Howdy leans next to him with a whoosh. “Thank the stock market - I was starting to get light headed.”

It takes another few minutes for them to catch their breath. Barnaby straightens enough to rest his head on Howdy’s shoulder, breathing in his cheap cologne and homemade laundry detergent. Howdy cups the back of his neck and massages the tense muscle there. 

“This will all turn out okay,” Howdy promises. “Wally is stubborn - I think we both know that well enough. By this time tomorrow we’ll be moving forward.”

Barnaby wants to be that optimistic, but this is real life. For all they know, moving forward means making funeral arrangements. His breathing stutters and he forces it to even out before he can start hyperventilating again. 

A car pulls into a parking space with a gravelly sound. Barnaby pays it no mind until Howdy makes a surprised noise - Barnaby looks up, and his stomach churns.

Frank, Eddie, and Julie are all getting out of Frank’s car. They’re all in various states of dishevelment. Frank’s hair is a mess, and he has what looks like Eddie’s company jacket thrown on over his pajamas. Eddie is in little more than a shirt that says male? lol, more like mail! and boxers - he’s even wearing slippers instead of shoes, and his hair flops over his forehead in soft tufts. Julie’s hair is still in curlers, and though she’s wearing shoes, she’s in a too-long shirt over sweats that don’t belong to her. They’re paint-stained. 

They rush across the parking lot, all worried faces and tired eyes. They’re already asking what happened, is Wally okay, Sally is getting Poppy, they should be here soon, has there been any news-

Barnaby lunges at the nearest trash can and vomits.

#IM SORRY FOR ANY HOSPITAL/PROCEDURAL INACCURACIES IM NOT TRYING TO BE ACCURATE AT THE MOMENT #except for the injuries. those are realistic and i did my due diligence. read a lot of first hand accounts! medical pages! #ohhhh this was so cozy to write #i mean. not as familiar as actual on-screen injuries but yk #its been too fluffy in here. #this is a mild example of my usual tastes and habits when it comes to fic & fiction #WHUMP CENTRAL BABEYYYYYY #i like it messy and painful!!! Lets Fuckin Go!!!! #this is a prime example of me not being able to shut the fuck up when writing #my scenes & convos just go on and on and on and on.... #but yes! enjoy! the Crash arc is very thoroughly planned out in my head and lately its one of my favorite things to imagine before bed <3 #bedtime stories can be fictional characters going through horrible injuries & emotionally hurting each other #snippets from the bog #i will repeat what i have said multiple times before #i take the comic relief character. i hurt the comic relief character #i could have posted the little carnival half-scene. i could have #but ive been feeling stressed and caged and i need to let out some steam #and this is how i do that. controlled fictional violence <3

[kyrenasfics]

The Crown Prince | Jeong Jaehyun

PAIRING ➾ prince!Jaehyun x reader

GENRE(S) ➾ arranged marriage!au, forbidden love!au, angst, romance

WARNING(S) ➾ basically no i think but a lottt of angst

WORD COUNT : 7k

SUMMARY | He is the crown prince of this kingdom and the most powerful knight. He once saved you when you were almost being killed by a bunch of wolf. What makes you dare to taste the forbidden fruit? You don't know if you should thought of it as a gift from the God or a punishment to you for got enamoured to a person who you shouldn't be enamour for your entire life. The moment you crossed the line, you made yourself covered in wounds even more and worse, that you are not capable enough to stand it.

PLAYLIST(S) : 郁可唯，王铮亮 - 星月, 叶炫清 - 归去来兮, HANA 菊梓乔 - 飞蛾扑火, 谭嘉仪Kayee - Can you hear, 吴若希 - 暗中爱我

TAGLIST(S) : @kpopchickkaa @f4irynono @chitaphrrrr @justineasian @jenoxygen @sunshinedhyuck @ahtisa02 @shamelessmuffinranchclod @captainellydepp @w0nuuu @jungish @lachimolalas-posts @xiiixkxhlo @tamakikaname @taeyongslilkitty @astr-0n0-mical @travelleratheart101 @anya-writes-stuff

A/N : it’s my first time wrtiting a bad ending(im sorry but im not 😛), i hope you like it and pls STAY SAFE!💚

ᥫᩣ

You are not meant to be together. Who gave you the courage to taste the “forbidden fruit?”

What makes you dare to taste the “forbidden fruit!”

Prince Yoonoh are known as the most handsome man in the entire Jeong Empire, but it’s not verified, no one has ever seen him before, it’s just rumours among this small little town.

You were born and being raised in this small town named “Cloud” in Jeong Empire. Your father, he is a fisher. He is out on a fishing boat all year round and you only had a few chances to get to see him. You have three brothers which are all older than you, Kun, Xiaojun and Renjun. They joined your father out to fish once they turned 18.

“Take care of our daughter, I'll be back very soon.” Your father said and he gives your mother a kiss then a hug for you before he left the house. It’s not a big deal for going out to fishing but it always has a risk, risk for not coming back anymore. Once they are out, then it’s three months and another three months and three months until when it’s new year, they’ll be back again.

“Remember to close the windows before you sleep and cover yourself when you sleep, don’t caught a cold.” Your biggest brother, Kun said and he rubs the both side of your arm. You were the youngest and the only daughter in this family, and of course you are the apple of everyone’s eye. You reluctant to be apart with them. Seeing their figure gradually disappear from your vision.

ᥫᩣ

“I will be out to collect some herbs. I will be back in 3 days.” you said then start packing things you needed to bring along with.

Your grandfather was a physician. He passed away 3 years ago, whenever he is examining a patience or out to collect herbs you were always staying along with him. So you learned some from him for example some simple way of how to treat a wound, treat mild colds and treat a swallow legs.

After he passed away, you decided to sell some herbs and treat some minor injuries to earn some money, but most importantly you missed doing it everyday with your grandpa. It’s already had been a habit to you.

“Make sure to take care of yourself. Once the night turn dark, find an inn to rest!” You mother make sure to repeat and repeat as you are really very stubborn when it comes to collect herbs, as if the herbs will gone if you did not make it to pick it by today. “I knew it mother, bye!” You said then begin the herbs collecting journey of yours.

Usually, you will be going to the nearest forest from your town but just a few days ago, you overheard the forest two town away from Cloud have herbs that is very rare and valuable. So, you decided to give it a try to see whether you are lucky enough to found it, even if you come back empty-handed.

You are willing to try.

So there you are standing in front of the forest entrance. ‘Should I really try?’ ‘What if something unexpected comes out?’ ‘But they’re valuable herbs’ ‘They will cost a high price’ All kind of thought running inside your mind.

‘Okay! Let’s do it! No regrets!’ You cheered yourself up then start heading in the forest.

This forest is unexpected a lot much bigger than the usual one you goes to. You just hope you wouldn’t get lost and trapped in the forest.

It’s almost 1 hour since you’ve entered the forest and your hard work finally paid off. You spotted a tree looking like the rare herbs tree you are looking for and is about 10 feet away. Right a moment before you were planning to go home but you were instantly overjoyed!

You walk up to that tree and crouch down to check if it’s the herb you are looking for and it is. Suddenly you hear the low roar of animal, it’s wolf. You stands up rapidly and look around, then only you realize the sun is almost setting. You have to leave as soon as possible before it turns dark.

But the low roar is getting closer and closer by time. You're too scared, so you just pick a little and quickly leaving.

The wolf seems to be attracted by your movement. Suddenly, a dark shadow shuttles between the trees. Just right in front of you! The wolf is running towards you from the trees in front of you.

Your legs are like being under a spell, you can't move. Watching the wolf getting closer to you, your legs wobble and you fell to the ground. The wolf is just inches away from you! You blocked your both hands in front of you and shut your eyes tight. ‘I don’t want to die yet, someone please help me!’ You thought, hope for a miracle to happens but you know you are gonna die, no matter how. No one could save you where the wolf is just in front of you.

You are waiting for death or the pain of being bitten by a wolf but it never comes. Perhaps the wolf changed his mind? You slowly open your eyes. A blade went straight into the wolf neck. You turned your head, a man is stabbing his blade into the wolf! You fainted right away.

ᥫᩣ

You wake up and see no one beside you. You find yourself were wearing a cloak that doesn't belong to you, it must be the man who saved you?

“You awake?” A man appears from behind. “Are feeling good? Dizzy?” He asked. “Yeah. I’m feeling good. Did you saved me?” You answered his question and asked him. “Yes. I saved you.” The man said. “Thank you. I— I really don’t know how can I do to thank you. But really thank you so much for saving me!” You said sincerely.

“Maybe you can give me yourself.” The man teased. You blushed. Feeling so shy from his words. “I’m joking. Here. Eat some before we left.” The man said and gives you some bread. “T— Thank.” You said then take the bread from him. You start munching the bread as you only realize how starved you are.

“Eat it slow, we are not in rush.” The man laughed and said. You glared at him the continue munching on the bread. It’s just a bread but maybe it’s because you are being saved from death the bread taste more delicious than it usual is and you stared sobbing just thinking of you almost never get to see your family again.

“Why are you crying?” The man turned around when he heard your sobs and asked. “I— I missed my family. I— I almost got myself never gonna see them.” You then started cry loudly. “What a silly girl.” He chuckle softly. “I’ve saved you. You’ll still be able to see them.” He said then softly pats your head. You nod then readjust your breathing until you stopped sobbing.

“Alright. We should go now before the sun is setting.” The man said then untying the lead rope he tied around the tree to hold his horse. He gave a leap and landed himself on the saddle of the horse. “Come up. We are heading to the capital.” He said then offering out a hand for you.

But you still standing like a statue, clinging the bread tight in your hands. “M— Mother says riding a horseback is very unladylike for a lady.” You spoke shyly. He then get down the horse. “It’s okay. No one’s here. Only me and you.” The man said then reaching out his hand again.

You hesitated but still, you used his hand as an aid to get on the horseback.

“Hold tight.” He skip the rope that was tied around the horse neck, the horse sprinted. Scared you to hug his waist tight, preventing yourself from falling. ‘Gallop… Gallop…’ when the horse slower down and you wanted to let your hands around his waist but when he felt your hands loosen it a bit. He pulled the lead rope harder around the horse's neck to make the horse run faster.

ᥫᩣ

It’s been days since the man saved you. That day, he left without you getting to know his name. Every few days you uses the excuse of collecting herbs to go back to that forest, hoping you could meet him again.

This person keeps lingering in your mind. When you are examining a patient, when you cook, when you bath or even you are sleeping, he appears in your dream.

Today, you went to the forest once again. After several times coming home empty-handed, you thought it’s gonna be another “empty-handed day”.

So, you, who still never meet him after walked the whole forest. You lowered your head and kicked the small stones on the ground, walking out of the forest.

Noises coming out from a distance, sound like someone is chasing after someone. Out of curious, you stopped down and try to find out what’s happening. You see a figure you miss day and night.

A bunch of people were chasing behind of him. His pace is getting slower and slower. He is holding his right arm. Is he hurt? You have to think of a way to help him. They are getting closer time by time.

You run to approach him faster. The closer you run towards him the clearer you see him. It’s him, and he is all blood…

5 feet and you will reach him. He can't take it anymore, he collapsed on the floor. When you finally get to him, he is covered in wounds.

“Hey! Can you hear me?” You sit on the ground and move his head to let him lean on your lap as a support. He is muttering something blurry that you couldn’t hear him well so you lean forward to hear him clearly.

“There… the shabby house over there…” He weakly pointing towards a direction. From what’s he is pointing at, there is a shabby house. You have no idea why he pointed there or why did he know there is a shabby house at such a distance away, but you have no time to waste.

“Can you walk? I can’t carry such a tall man as you and you are heavy.” You said and trying to carry him up but you just couldn’t. Then you heard his soft chuckles. You do as he said and tried your best to carry him up then place his left hand on your shoulder and your right hand is around his waist to carry his weight.

You carry him, who was seriously injured slowly to the shabby house he said. When the moment you open the door, it’s not as empty as you thought. There is a bed right in the middle inside the shabby house. Beside the bed was a small the cooking are and on the left hand side of the cooking area have a wooden door, but you are not sure was it a room or what. Then a very simple square wooden table in front of the bed with two chair each both side one.

You put him down on the bed and went out to find water to clean his wounds before you apply herbs on it. “You have to treat the wound first or your wound will get infected, or else you’ll left scars on it.” You told him then quickly heading out of the room but he hold you wrist. You turned back to him, worrying if he’s feeling uncomfortable.

“There is a toilet there.” He said then points towards the wooden door where you are curious about at first. ‘Ah, so it was a toilet’ you speak to yourself in your head. You went inside and there is a basin under the washstand. You took it and scoop some water into it then went back to him again.

You squat down beside the bed and starting to wash his the wounds on his right arm with a wet cloth. After cleaning the surface, you then apply some herbs which could help to stop bleeding and then you tear a little bit of the hem of your shirt to use to wrap his wounds. “Remember not to get water-“ You finished on treating his wounds then you said, but when you look up he is already asleep. You did not wake him because you thought he must be suffering a lot from the pain. Thinking back, he did not whine a single bit because of his wounds. What a strong man he must be to suppressing all his pain. You thought you would never be able to do it.

Both your hands crossed and resting your chin againts the bed and watching at his sleeping figure. Looking at his face clearly, this man who saved you, he is good-looking, even sleeping. You’ve started to grown curiosity of him. What kind of a family is he coming from? Did he lives somewhere nearby this forest? Why did he came to this forest? Why is he being chased and is hurt? Did he offend them? And right, you still haven’t get to know his name. Thousands of question is running in your head. Slowly, you sinked into your sleep unconsciously.

You open your eyes and what you see is the ceiling. Did you fall asleep? On the bed? Why did you woke up laying on a bed? You don’t remember you slept on a bed. You turned your head to the side. The man that was supposed to be there is not there. He left? Left with his arm are still bleeding? You have to look for him, before the bunch of people found him. You get off the bed and running out the shabby house. You opened the door and the man is sitting right in front the door. The night getting dark. “You awake?” He smiling looking at you and said. He is using woods to start a fire.

“You shouldn’t be moving around, you wounds will broke open. I’ll do it, go get some rest.” You said and chasing him off. “Man should be the one to start a fire, not a women.” He chuckles softly. “No, you are the pat-“ You are trying to argue with him but he cuts you off. “I’m not doing everything, I’m just starting the fire and you will be the one who cook. So it’s fair.” You become speechless. “Cook? Me?” You asked and pointing at yourself. He nodded and then pointed back at him. “I— I’m not good at cooking…” You stuttered.

“I don’t mind the taste, as long as it can filled my hunger.” You are again speechless by his words. “O— Okay…”

ᥫᩣ

“Do you have anything you wanted to say?” He raised his brow and asked. You shook your head hardly. “Then why are you keep staring at me? Your face told me you’ve something to say.” He said then put his chopsticks down on the table. “Can I really ask?” You asked and averting his eyes. “Go ahead.” He answered coolly.

“W— Why are those people chasing after you?” You asked nervously. “No. I shouldn’t ask this way.” You whisper softly just enough for yourself to hear it. “Why did you know there is a shabby house inside of this big forest?” You asked. From Jaehyun's point of view, you look like a cat filled with curiosity.

“I know here by chance when I was still very young.” He said but he doesn’t look happy. “By chance? In a forest when you were young? How come?” You asked and he stared at you with an unreadable expression. “My parents, they are always arguing. I don’t like it. One day I just ran out and came here randomly.” He said. “I found this place very calm. Hearing the birds singing on the tree with a book in my hands, the feelings is very chilling.” He adds.

You wanted to know what had happened to him in his childhood, but you have no rights to know a stranger’s story. The tension is getting tense so you try to break it. “Let me tell you a story of mine?” You support your chin on your hand and look at him then he nodded.

“My father always went out for fish when I was young, on my path of growing I seldom get to see him. I felt lonely because I only have brothers and my mother have to work as well They like to play around the forest and they won’t bring me along because I’m a girl, they thought I won’t know how to climb tree and many stuff that girl usually won’t do. So, one day after they left the house, I secretly follow behind them.”

“They went to the nearest forest from our house, but when I finally reach the entrance of the forest, they disappeared. I started to feel panic. They are no where to be seen. The forest is as big as a bottomless pit for a four year old little girl, and I know nothing about this forest, it’s my first time here. I cry and scream, calling out their names while messing around the bottomless pit forest. Luckily, they manage to find me before I got eaten by some wild animals.” You chuckle softly.

“And so, I was banned to go to the forest since then. Until when I started follow my grandpa to collect herbs around the forest, only I started to get nearer to the forest, in about 10 years I think. And I like the forest a lot! It reminds me of my grandpa. I miss him a lot.” Your face unconsciously showed a trace of you missing your grandpa.

“You doesn’t looks like a playful girl who would make your families worry about you.” He says and chuckles softly.

BANG!

Suddenly a huge lightning strikes! “Ah!” You covered both your ears quick then quickly hide under the table. You are hugging your knees and shivering while hands still covering your ears tight.

He notice what happened to you after the lightning strikes. “It’s okay, it’s just a thunderstorm.” He get under the table as well and comforting you. He slowly embrace you in his arm, smoothing your back softly, cooling you down. “It’s just thunderstorm.” He keeps repeating.

“No! It’s not just a thunderstorm! It will became a heavy rain after that!” You slightly screaming. “We— We need to leave the forest before it’s starting rain! We need to leave! We need to leave!” You said in panic. “It’s going to rain, we will leave the next morning.” He said while his hands never stop smoothing your back. “No! We need to leave! The rain will cover this shabby house! We will be stuck if we don’t leave now! No! We can’t!” You started crying from the thought of rain covering this house that is just made by wooden. The rain will devour you both of you don’t leave now.

“Why? Why will the rain stuck us in this house?” He sense something abnormalities on you. You resist the rain a lot compared to a normal people. Yes, maybe some people doesn’t likes rain, but. Your actions is too weird, it’s like you have been stuck in somewhere because of rain and it made you staying in fear for the rest of your life. So he deliberately trigger you and make you tell him the real reason why you are scared.

“The— The rain is scary.” You sobbing and clingy against his chest. “Why? Tell me.” He persuading you to tell him. “My— My grandpa dead be— because we were stuck in a hou— house when we come out to co— collect herbs…” You are slightly calmed, but still sobbing. “That’s why you are scared of rain?” He speaks very very softly and caresses your hair. His voice is so charming. His hug is warm, his voice is soft, and he is even trying comfort you.

“Yes…” You said, grabbing his shirt tight.

“Let me tell you a story. You know whenever before the rains pour, there will be thunderstorms right? It’s meaning the gods who rule the earth is fighting against the demon. You know why they fight?” He asked then looking at you. You shook your head because you did not know it. “Because, the gods wants to create a baby for the earth, but the devil oppose it. So they fight, their fight causes thunderstorm.” He stopped then look at me again but then he continued.

“So when the gods win, a baby is born. Raining is a way to express their victory of giving a new life. They are good thing, so don’t be scare if raining anymore. It’s a sign of a new born.” He finished his story and you stopped crying because you are too into listening to his story like a bed time story.

“Is that real?” You asked. The “story” he told was too incredible, you don’t really believe it. “Of course it is.” He answered. You thought he must be thinking you are some kind of little kid who would trust on this kind of “fairytale” but unfortunately you are an adult and you know it’s not real. But still, he warms your heart. Maybe this is what people said “white lie.”

“Your wound!” You never noticed his wound which you wrapped it with your clothes is covered in blood now. “Am I the one who broke your wound? I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” You apologies then go get some water to clean his wound. “You sit on the bed first, I’ll go get some water.” You said then head towards the toilet.

You come back with holding a basin full of water. You set it now in front of the bed then kneel down to start cleaning his wound again. You unwrapped the teared shirt which on his wound then cleaning it softly and carefully with a piece of wet handkerchief. “You must be careful with your every single moves now. It recovers and you break it again.” You sighed and tell him.

“Can I know why did you cry so hard for your grandp- ehem the reason that made you afraid of rain.” He take back what he actually wanted to say ‘your grandpa’ but he thought if he says the word ‘grandpa’ might remind you of your grandpa, and he will have to tell another “story” to calm you down.

“He is my favourite among this family. I didn’t mean I don’t like the others, but he is the one who I spent the most time with. Father and mother needs to work, my father work as a fisher so he’s not home often and brothers as I said before they are always gone without me. So I follow my grandpa around, from just following him to the forest to collect herbs until I learn how to heal a patient.”

“One day, we went to the forest as usual. We already heard thunderstorm before we are out of the house but grandpa insisted he wants to go, he said we have umbrella, it’s not big deal just raining. But no, we all lost him in this stupid rain. The rain starts pouring when we just entered the forest. Grandpa holds my hands even tighter than every time he did.” The corners your the mouth rise slightly by thinking of your grandpa holdings your little hand.

“But the rain is getting heavier second by second. Until we can’t really see the road in front of us, very blurry. Because we can’t see clearly, grandpa continued going on with his intuition and the best he know of the forest which we have came over the years. He is too confident. I told him we should go home but he don’t listen to me. We lost our footing, fall off the cliff but I wasn’t falling off the cliff like grandpa did because the let go of my hand before we fall together.” There are tears are escaping from your eyes.

“If it’s not because of me, he won’t fall. Because he wants to save me, that’s why he did not manage to save himself!” You bursted into tears.

“Listen to me. It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Just a coincidence.” Again he’s comforting you. He smooth your back like how he did just now and it’s feeling very warm, you like the feels. He is someone like your grandpa, brings you warm. He lets you rest your head on his lap and smoothing your back, keeps repeat words which comfort you a lot. It’s been a long time since you relying on someone, you missed the feeling. The last one was your grandpa and you missed him a lot.

Your eyelids felt heavy, you must be tiring from all our crying just now. “Rest if you are tired, leave tomorrow morning. It must be tiring to cry a lot.” He said softly and caresses your head which are still resting on his lap. He carry you to the bed and you sinked into your sleep in just a seconds.

You woke up the next morning. He’s already awake and washing up himself. “Are you leaving too?” You asked.

“No, I will be leaving in days, they must be still looking after me.” He smile and answered. “There are foods here, I probably won’t die for days.” He adds, chuckling. “But your wound…” You are worried about him. “Small matter, I can manage it mysel- ow!” He twisted because he accidentally moved his arm, and his wound are slightly opened.

“I will stay here until your wound are at least considered yes “moveable!” “ You said loudly and powerful, unlike the little girl who cried last night like a pig. “It’s dangerous for you to stay here, go back.” He said. “Then, then…” You are thinking a way to he him. “I’ll leave but I’ll come here everyday to heal you until you are fully recovered.” You say confidently and certainty. “I-“ He open his mouth to speak but, “No more quibbling!” You said domineering. “Alright, I guess I have no to resist.” He smiled.

“I’m— I’m just curious, are you somehow a— a sinser or a thief?” You stuttered. You are sickly wanted to know why are then chasing after him, but he chuckle out loud. “Haha, I’ll tell you if I am or not the next time we meet again.” He teased. “Now, you should go.” He shushed you out the house.

“Hey hey! I haven’t get to know your name tho.” You finally asked what you’ve been wanting ask since the moment you saw him.

“Jaehyun.” He answered. “What I about you? I shouldn't not to know my physician's name right?” He teased again.

“(Y/N). I’m (Y/N).”

ᥫᩣ

You have been coming continuously for days to fulfil your duty — healing his wound — and you both talked a lot these days. But mostly the topic is surrounding about you, he don’t really talk about him selves a lot.

Today as usual you came here early in the morning. You made him some cakes, you know he doesn’t like sweet in the last few days you've been together. So, you reduced the amount of sugar, hoping he will like it.

You knock on the door before you entered the house. When you open the door, the door makes a creak sound. It’s a total dark inside, he’s not here. Did he went out?

You lighten up the candle then sit at the corner of the bed waiting for him. You saw a piece of paper on the table when you are looking around. You get up from the bed then went to the table.

I have some urgent stuff to deal with, will be right back very soon. Wait for me

- Jaehyun

Was what he wrote on the piece of paper.

ᥫᩣ

“I said I won’t marry Elisiah!” Jaehyun shouted loudly in the hall.

“You are not able to decide your marriage ever since you were born as a royalty!” The king shouted from his throne.

“I am not your puppet! I have rights to decide my own life!” Jaehyun refute.

“If you resist to marry Princess Elisiah of Arvenus, then leave this royal family, live as a civilian, get rid off the name Prince Yoonoh!” The king said angrily, hand clenched into a fist.

“I don’t need this name!” Jaehyun said aggressively then heading out the hall.

“Once you stopped out this door, I won't show a single mercy to her.” The king smirked. “You know who am I talking about, Jay.” Jaehyun can hear the king’s tone with a hint of he has already won, even it’s not even stared yet.

“What did you do to her!” Jaehyun run towards the king. “I did nothing. But if you didn’t want to see her head hanging high up at the middle of the capital, listen to me. Be my good boy.” The king chuckle sarcastically. “You old treacherous man!” Jaehyun hold his urge to hit him on his face hardly.

“Engagement will be on the day after tomorrow. Clear up your mind and get ready to marry the Princess of Arvenus.” The king said then returned to his chamber, leaving Jaehyun alone in the hall.

He is worried about you but he couldn’t go look for you. If the king knows the both of you will be in danger.

The king — the father of Jaehyun — is an extremely cruel man. Years ago, in order to sit on this throne, he did not hesitate to kill his own brother. Arvenus is a country which is very powerful but not as powerfully as Jeong Empire is but still if they combined. It will be a big disaster to the world. Not only that, they have various types in weapons, so it’s even a bigger advantage to King Jeong.

And this time, in order to gain more power he wants Jaehyun to marry the Princess of Arvenus. So the King of Arvenus will join and help him in war, and he will get the world as he had planned. Jaehyun have no choice now, he could just follow as the king’s plan if he wants to keep you safe.

ᥫᩣ

Half day passed since you are waiting for Jaehyun at the house, but he did not show up as what he said on the paper that he will be back soon. “Why isn’t him coming back…” You mumble to yourself. ‘Maybe there may be something happened that causes him to be late here.’ You thought. ‘Just wait for him a while, he will be here soon.” You smile and tell yourself.

So, you waited, another 1 hour passed, 2 hour, 3 hour… until you dozed off. You woke up and it’s already night time, but he’s still not here yet. ‘Did something bad happened?’ You started to get worried. No, you have to look for him. But where can you find him?

Now think of it, you don’t know where his house were at, except for this shabby house. How if he came but you went out to look for him? You should continue wait for him here until he came. Yes, just wait.

2 days have passed, he still did not show up. It’s very unusual the would be taking so 2 days to come back. You couldn’t just sit and wait for him to come back. He never answered you if he was a sinser, something must happened! What if he get caught! You pack your belongings you brought here with you then rush to the capital to see if something happened.

“Hey! (Y/N)!” your best friend agn your neighbour since you were born suddenly pop up from no where while you were running in the market to the notice board.

The notice board is at the end of this market. The notice board will be pinning any newest updated news and criminals wanted. “Hey, Anne.” You answered perfunctory and still keep running to the notice board.

Not here, not here also, not even here also. There’s no picture of him or his name wrote on it. Phew! Immediately you are relieved. But something caught your attention.

“Engagement of Prince Yoonoh with Princess Elisiah of Arvenus.” The prince is getting engage and the palace will be open for everyone to join the engagement today. Oh, there’s a sketch of Prince Yoonoh and the Princess the Prince is marrying.

THROB! THROB!

A tear escaped from your eyes. No! It’s not him. Just someone who looks like him. No! It won’t be! He is a sinser. He is not a prince. No… It’s not… Let— Let’s go home and and wait for him… Go home… Go home…

“(Y/N)!” Anne is panting, probably running all the way here to see why am I in such a rush. “What happened? Why did you cry?” She asked. She wipes the tears on your cheek. “What happened?” She asked again. “No— Nothing.” She said then wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

“Then it’s fine. Oh! Did you saw this? The prince is getting engaged! We can visit the palace! Let’s go together! Let’s go!” She said happily and jumping running around.

“I— I.” You stuttering. You don’t really want to go, what if he was really the prince, then he’s going to marry the Princess. Was it always been your wishful thinking?

“The days you disappeared, I heard a lot of story about the Prince. They said that the Prince and the Princess are engaged since childhood, but the Princess is yet an adult so that’s the reason why they get engaged only until now. Ha, I hope to see how the Prince look like! He must be handsome!” Anne holding her face with both hands and smiling.

“Let’s go, let’s go! It’s starting soon!” Anne excitedly said,never wait for your answer and she’s already dragging you to the palace at the capital city. It’s not very far from here but took at least 10 minutes.

“(Y/N), it’s should be happy that our prince is getting marry soon~ You shouldn’t be looking so upset when you enter the palace.” Anne said, kinda like half singing half talking. You forced yourself to smile abit.

On the way to the palace Anne is super excited, she always wanted to visit the big palace and now she got her chance to visit but you aren’t very happy with the reason why you would be able to visit.

“This way please.” The servant at the entrance of the palace is guiding the visitors to the main hall. “You can have some food here, the ceremony is starting soon.” The servant smiled then bow before she leave. “Wow! It’s huge!” Anne is amazed by how big the palace is. “There is some portraits of the royalty!” Anne said, slapping on your arm then pulls you along with him to see those portraits.

“This must be the crown prince, it looks exactly same as the one on the notice board.” Anne said. He does looks like, but you don't want to believe it! “The King and crown prince is here!” The butler announced and the door is opened.

“Your Majesty!” Everyone kneels down.

“You may all get up.” The king said. This is the moment you are most afraid of, you will be able to know the answer if you look up. You are afraid, you doesn’t want to face the reality. You struggled with your inner heart and finally, you get up.

It was Jaehyun.

He was the prince Yoonoh. Your soul seems to have left you for a moment.

“I am thankful for all of you coming to attend my beloved son’s engagement ceremony.“ The king sat on his throne and Jaehyun sitting on the right side. “I have been waiting for this moment, so am Yoonoh. He have been waiting for the Princess of Arvenus to come of age. The day after the princess’s birthday is over, he is so eager to ask me let him marry her.” The king laughing happily.

So until the end, you were fooled by him? He already has someone he likes and even always wanted to marry her, so why is he being so good to you? Why did he comfort you when you are crying for just a thunderstorm?

You are madly in love with him that you don’t even realized until now. Yes, you are absolutely madly in love with him that why didn’t want to let him go!

After the king given speech, everyone continues eating the food served. “I hope you like it.” The king is walking around and asking whether they like the food or not and you heard him asking the one beside of you. Of course, Jaehyun is with him.

Finally, Jaehyun notice you were here when you are staring at the king. When you saw Jaehyun look at you, you quickly turned away. You ran out the hall and Jaehyun chases after you. You already saw him, you know his existence here!

“(Y/N)!” He calling your name when you ran towards the back garden that’s no one here so he called you. “(Y/N)!” He caught you, he is holding your wrist. “(Y/N) it’s not like that, listen to me!” Jaehyun eager to explain. You tried to get rid of his hand but he is too strong.

“Jaeh- Your Majesty, please let go off me.” You are twisting your hand to get rid of him. “(Y/N)! Listen to me first.” He tugged you into his embrace. “Listen to me…” He hug you tight and said. “I don’t want to listen to you anymore! You liar!” You push his chest to get off him.

“It’s not like that, (Y/N)!” Jaehyun surround his arm even tighter around you. “I don’t listen!” You cried and struggling. “(Y/N) I am-“ he was halfway through speaking and suddenly someone walked in this direction. Jaehyun quickly let go of you because it was the king’s knights. They must be coming here to look for him.

“Your Majesty, the king is asking you to go back the hall. And he warned you, he won’t give a single mercy.” Jaehyun once again got warning from the king. “Alright.” Jaehyun have no choice but follow the knights back to the hall. At least you had hide behind some brush so they did not saw you, or else things will get more serious.

The day ended with you did not get an explanation from Jaehyun and didn’t get a chance to explain. Who knows it then became forever.

An unexplained accident. A Jaehyun in your mind a person who played with your feelings. You were not lovers and no one could explain this relationship. It became a mystery between you both.

ᥫᩣ

2002

The boy is passing by the park by chance when he’s on his way home from the convenient store and he saw a little girl sitting in the sand pool, dressed up in a green sundress.

“Give me back my doll.” You are crying and sitting in the sand pool in the park as a few boys that is one year older than you are bullying you by snatching away your doll from you.

You are 4 this year and your parents decided to send you to kindergarten. In fact, it’s a little bit too early to send a 4 years old to kindergarten, most parents send their children to kindergarten when they are 5 years old.

“Bleh Bleh Bleh.” The boy sticked his tongue out then running around with him holding your doll high in his hand. “Give it back to me.” You are chasing after him, trying to get back your doll, but he is a lot much faster. You blubbering and rubbing your eyes.

“(Y/N) is a crybaby, crybaby.” The boys laughing out loud at you and still running around the park.

The boys are 1 year older than you and they are your kindergarten mates but they always bully and laugh at you because you are a year younger than them. You accident tripped yourself and fall on the rough ground. Your knees bleed from the fall. They never stop and even laughing at you more and then they continue running around the park with your doll in their hand.

Right at this time, a boy seem to be same age as them come out from no where. “Are you okay?” The boy asked and then check on your knee. “They… they took my doll.” You cried, your tears and snot flow all over your face.

He his handkerchief out from his pocket and wipe your tears and snot off your face.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get it back for you and promise me not to cry anymore?” The boy said and patted your head. You immediately stopped crying. You see him talking with the boys who bullied you just now and just a while, he’s coming back with your doll in his hand.

“Here.” He hand you your doll.

“My doll.” You say excitedly and hugging your doll happily. “You have to treat the wound first or your wound will get infected and you’ll not be pretty anymore.” The boy intimidates you. You immediately felt a sense of déjà vu from his words, as if you had heard them somewhere else before. “I don’t want to be ugly.” You are frightened by his words and started crying again. He didn't know you would be frightened by his words. He was caught off guard. “So you have to treat it fast.” The boy quickly made up.

“Can you walk?” He adds. You shake your head, you actually can but you hope be carried by someone. He turns his back on you. “I’ll carry you then.” You nod and climb onto his back and he carry you back his home.

He set you down on the couch then he run towards upstairs. He came down with a box of first aid kid in his hands. He sit down next to you and place your leg on his lap. He disinfects your wound with acriflavine first. “May be a little pain.” He said. Then he clean your wound before placing a sterile bandage on it.

“Done.”

“Can I know your name? My name is (Y/N)!” You are beaming widely that he can see your white teeth.

“I’m Jaehyun.”

ᥫᩣ

(A feedback would be appreciated & you could buy me a coffee if you like my work 🥺 thank uu!)

[MASTERLIST]

© KYRENASFICS, 2022

#jaehyun smut #nct smut #jaehyun x reader #nct x reader #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun angst #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun imagine #jaehyun scenario #nct fluff #nct angst #nct oneshot #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct u #nct #kpop #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop oneshot #kpop imagine #kpop scenario

[barefootrosales]

Exactly why Do Cats Just like Earwax

motorized cat toys Canines typically acquire all the curiosity for their proficient sniffers; however , the truth is that cats likewise have highly established olfactory systems, letting them find out all examples with their adorable small switch noses. It can be a bit troubling, though, when those sweet switch noses guide felines to items we people may not think about inherently sniffable-- in particular, ears along with the right stuff that may come out of all of them. Precisely what is about earwax that some dog cats get thus thrilled concerning? Earwax is really a noseful The most straightforward description, and the 1 with a little science to it, will be earwax smells correct to felines. If you consider it, earwax doesn't indeed possess an undesirable scent (if it can, an individual should obtain that will checked) and also is composed of dead skin cells, fats, in addition to so forth. Since felines are interested in and survive upon animal proteins, this combination-- whether it is about for your ears, your dog's ears, or another feline's ears-- is just a healthy and balanced protein source. Advertisement Since cats have got only around 500 tastebuds, whereas folks have anywhere through 2, 000 to 5, 000, these people do not taste points the same way. For illustration, cats don't preference moments as "pleasant. " So, when you have a feline that wants cake topping, it can more likely the fact she's drawn to than the pleasant taste from the sugar. To offset their shortage of tastebuds, pet cats have produced an eager sensation of smell to direct them to food. Dr. Carly Patterson, a technological aide teacher in the Texas A&M University of Vet Medicine & Biomedical Savoir, notes that while cats have much less scent receptors as compared to pets, they, inside fact, "maybe far better at discerning inside between various scents. " Though some may see this particular as proof of which felines are added critical than family pet dogs when it involves what they consume (you realize, like poo), that indeed just reveals that felines make use of their noses even more than their tongues for preference. Factors that consist regarding the scents associated with fats, as well as proteins, will definitely be delicious with regard to felines-- whether it's a container regarding pet cat meals can or, in the case of this conversation, your earwax-coated earbuds. Bonding habits If you've ever enjoyed felines mutually brush, an individual most likely found out they spend the right volume of time on each other artists ears. Not simply is due to be able to the tasty earwax, yet brushing forges more powerful bonds between pet pet cats and the enjoyed types, including you. When your cat is usually intent on trying to clean your ears, she's not likely sending you a new signal that your own ears are unclean, just that there is some good things inside. While you may, or may not, find this specific cute, it's usually not just a great idea to allow your feline to do it. Feline drool includes bacteria that you wouldn't desire getting involved in different scrapes or divots in your tissues, let alone a lot of pet cats have rather odiferous breath. Regardless of the widespread perception that pet feline dander causes allergic reactions, it is a new feline saliva necessary protein that creates practically two-thirds of individual allergies to cats. If you, or a new person else that will such as to enjoy on your ears, may suffer from cat allergies, you might want to supply kitty a mild shoo towards anything a lot more appropriate for licking, or even provide them one of these feline playthings. Does my feline have earwax? Pet cats have earwax, but their own ears are pretty much self-cleaning, which comes in handy offered that you ought not to require to cleansing your cat's ear if you do not notice a great odd smell or perhaps coloration in there. Inside many cases, it can just be the lot of dirt, yet other points can be quite a lot a lot more significant, like illness brought on simply by termites. As typically the specialists at VCA Pet Medical facilities explain, ear attacks are not as usual in pet cats as they stay in most dogs, thus if you are usually concerned, period feline in for a new browse through. When your veterinarian can examine your cat, they can help you regarding cleaning your own feline's ears. In case you require a refresher, the folks over in PetMD in addition have a useful guide on performing so. What can I do to maintain my feline coming from consuming earwax? Acquire a covered or even flip-lid trash rubbish bin for your restroom: a covered could maintains kitties from getting active in, or perhaps toppling over, your current disposables. This is an excellent idea not merely regarding keeping used ear swabs out of their own paws, however furthermore secures them coming from points which can be dangerous if consumed, this kind of as floss, used earplugs, or disposed of products having vital oils. When not necessarily using, creative storage space space keeps details like earbuds inside a place kitty can not achieve. Do not forget to cleanse them, too, since earbuds are progressively in control of human hearing infections. Redirect the particular actions: If you can't keep feline far from your own ears, try rerouting the behavior by keeping some excellent smelly treats accessible. Anytime she embraces the sniff or riff, utilize these to lead her far from your ears. Along with any luck, she will consider these a tastier choice.

#motorized cat toys #cool automatic cat toy

[ibijau]

Lapse in memory pt 3 / on AO3

aka the fic where nhs is cursed into amnesia a few years post canon, and came to lxc for help

The worst part of Nie Huaisang’s amnesia, Lan Xichen soon decided, was the realisation that he should have seen long ago that there was something wrong with Nie Mingjue’s little brother.

Although the other man had apparently always possessed frightening self control which made it difficult to know how much his current loss of memory impacted him, he used that control in a manner very different from what he had done after the death of his brother. Instead of displaying eternal sorrow and helplessness, Nie Huaisang was acting exactly the same as he had done before his life took a turn for the worst. He smiled, and chatted with people as if things were perfectly fine, only to break down once alone with Lan Xichen, asking when this person had died, whether that remark had been a joke or a reference to a true event. 

If he hadn't known better, if he hadn't been shown the other side Lan Xichen might have fallen for that new comedy as he had fallen for the old one. Nie Huaisang was good at this.

In fact, as Lan Xichen started remembering over the following days, he was good at many things. 

For example Nie Huaisang was smart, it turned out. After a decade of lies, Lan Xichen had forgotten that, too used to a man who barely managed to pick his own outfits without needing three different opinions, and would make four mistakes in a two digit addition. And indeed, when it came to cultivation, or when Wei Wuxian tried to discuss his ideas about what curse might have hit him, Nie Huaisang was clearly lost. But when the topic interested him, when someone mentioned art or literature, he spoke expertly and always made excellent points. 

Because he had his own duties to attend, and he aimed at being a better sect leader than he had been in the past, Lan Xichen spent little time with Nie Huaisang at first, and thus rarely enjoyed his conversation. Since the other man couldn’t be allowed to wander freely when there was still the possibility that all this was only a deception, Lan Xichen assigned one of his young disciples he trusted the most to stay with Nie Huaisang and make sure he didn’t misbehave. Almost immediately, he started hearing about the heated debates that Lan Jingyi and Nie Huaisang got into over classics, over art, over just anything that could be debated, and quite a few that shouldn’t. Lan Xichen had offered to find another person to keep Nie Huaisang company, only for Nie Huaisang to protest he was having great fun with Lan Jingyi.

It surprised Lan Xichen at first. Nie Huaisang wasn’t a man who enjoyed confrontation.

But he had once been a boy who did. Nie Mingjue used to complain at length about that, as did Lan Qiren when he’d had the dubious pleasure of teaching him. Nie Huaisang once had opinions on just about everything, especially if it could get him out of doing something he didn’t enjoy. Lan Xichen had found it amusing for a long time, and even he had been tricked into the odd argument here and there. But then there had been the war, there had been the constant worsening of Nie Mingjue’s temper, and Nie Huaisang’s tendency to argue over everything hadn’t felt so cute anymore.

After those difficult final few months, it had been a relief, in a way, when Nie Huaisang’s grief had made him so mild and pliable. He had never objected to any advice given to him, agreeing to everything and anything that Nie Mingjue’s sworn brothers suggested. If Lan Xichen hadn’t been so devastated by the loss they had both suffered, perhaps he would have noticed something was wrong.

Perhaps it was guilt, then, that soon pushed Lan Xichen to rearrange his schedule so he could spend a little more time with Nie Huaisang every day. He refused to let him down again. Or perhaps it was selfishness, the joy of having an old friend back in his life, someone who didn't know about his failings, and didn't judge him for being imperfect. 

"Imperfection is more fun," Nie Huaisang claimed one evening, as they sat together inside the Hanshi's courtyard, watching a pair of swallows build a nest under the rafters. "I like you better when you're not trying to be Zewu-jun. Zewu-Jun is a very boring person, while Lan Xichen is delightful company. Do you remember how we used to laugh sometimes when I came here to study? You did such a good imitation of your uncle. And you'd help me with my homeworks, and I'd let you have candies… wasn't that more fun than being perfect?"

"I miss those days," Lan Xichen admitted, something he had never told anyone except Jin Guangyao, once. He'd instantly regretted it back then, realising that Jin Guangyao had never had a chance to enjoy a carefree youth. He didn't regret telling Nie Huaisang who laughed so hard he startled the swallows, making them fly away for a moment. 

"Of course you miss that! Well, I'm back now, and until I'm better I can give you a taste of how it used to be. If I make you laugh enough, you'll stop being angry at me, right?"

“I’m not angry at you,” Lan Xichen said, which to his surprise wasn’t even a lie. This young and innocent Nie Huaisang, whose biggest crime was cheating during exams, who hadn’t yet discovered his own viciousness through fighting with Nie Mingjue and then for him, who could be irritating but always remained endearing… how could Lan Xichen have been angry at him?

“But you’re angry at the man I’ve become,” Nie Huaisang said.

Lan Xichen looked at him, that handsome young man sitting just a little too close, leaning somewhat toward Lan Xichen and yet tense enough that at the first sign of anger he’d probably leap away and disappear, the way he used to do with Nie Mingjue.

Lan Xichen wondered again how he had forgotten how observant Nie Huaisang could be. He should have known. The moment Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji told him that something terrible had been done to Nie Mingjue’s body, Lan Xichen should have guessed that Nie Huaisang knew as well, and that he’d be doing anything to avenge his brother.

“I think I’m more angry at myself than at you,” Lan Xichen said. “What happened, what you’ve done, it was… Maybe you really had no choice, or you thought you had no choice anyway, and I’m not sure I have a right to judge you. You… you still don’t remember, do you?”

“No. I don’t think I want to,” Nie Huaisang said. He started playing nervously with his sleeve, having forgotten his fan somewhere, and hesitantly spoke again. “I don’t think he wanted to remember either,” he whispered. “Him. Me. I… I don’t think it was an accident, Er-ge. I think I forgot on purpose.”

Startled by the confession, Lan Xichen stared again at Nie Huaisang who avoided his eyes. He looked pale, and started shaking slightly, as if again expecting a burst of anger that didn’t come. Lan Xichen was too stunned for that.

“When did you start suspecting this?”

“Right away,” Nie Huaisang confessed, nervously playing with his sleeve, pulling and tugging at the fabric. “It was just too odd that there was nothing at all about those lost years. I found some recent correspondence which let me know I wasn’t on very good terms with you, Jiang Cheng and Jin zongzhu, but that was it. And I know myself, Er-ge. I’ve kept a journal of everything I do since I was seven. Everything important, I write it down so I remember, I should have had a trace of those missing years.”

Lan Xichen nodded. Nie Huaisang had mentioned that habit of his, back when he was studying in the Cloud Recesses. Back then he’d complained that too little happened and he had nothing to write down, but also that homework and studying took so long he almost didn’t have time for his diary. Lan Xichen hadn’t realised that the habit was such a serious one, and he’d never heard Nie Huaisang mention it again as an adult, so he hadn’t thought to ask about that.

“Could it be that you simply stopped doing this?” Lan Xichen asked.

Nie Huaisang shook his head and frowned.

“It’s not just a hobby. My memory isn’t great, I really forget things if I don’t write them down. Everything important… in code if it's too important, of course, I’m only a little stupid. And I hid the journal, and kept all of them, from the very first. I’m the only one who knew where they’re all kept, but when I went to check, many of them had been destroyed, or at least moved somewhere else. Everything after the Sunshot Campaign is gone. Maybe he hoped to forget the war too.”

Not so much the war as what had happened just before it, Lan Xichen thought. He’d heard about the way hostage juniors had been treated by the Wens, and the horror of the Xuanwu of Slaughter killing people in that cave. Nie Huaisang had never wanted to talk about that, Lan Xichen recalled. He usually loved to complain, but on that particular topic he’d always close off or change the subject.

Aside from the death of Nie Mingjue, the terror of the evil Xuanwu had to have been the worst moment of Nie Huaisang’s life.

Without thinking Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisang’s hand, hoping to comfort him. Nie Huaisang startled and trembled, but didn’t try to remove his hand.

“I think it’s like you said,” Nie Huaisang explained, looking pleadingly at Lan Xichen. “That he did certain things because he thought he had no choice. He… I… if someone harmed da-ge, then I’d want to harm them back," he hissed with such rage that Lan Xichen shivered, reminded of the man Nie Huaisang had indeed become. "Even if it was san-ge! I can’t believe he’d do something like that, he’s always so nice, but it doesn’t matter. If I had been sure he’d hurt da-ge, then I… I would…”

“I know,” Lan Xichen said, squeezing Nie Huaisang’s hand.

“I think I had regrets of a sort though,” Nie Huaisang said. “The way it seems to me… I didn’t regret that these things had been done, I didn’t regret that people had died or been hurt, but I didn’t want to live with the weight of that either. I think… I’m a little bit of a coward, Er-ge. I’m fine with knowing I did horrible things, I just don’t want to know what they are, because that way it’s not really me who did them. So I can see why I chose to forget, and I also don’t want to remember.”

Had it been anyone else, Lan Xichen would have found that person cowardly indeed. Just as he bore the guilt of his failures and strove to do better, he would expect others to face their own faults, take their punishment, and try to improve in the future. But Nie Huaisang wasn’t just anyone, and Lan Xichen pitied him too much to wish for his suffering. Nie Huaisang had already been punished enough for what he’d done, having lost his brother, having lost all his friends, having lost the respect of his sect.

Having lost himself, too.

“It’s fine if you don’t remember,” Lan Xichen said. “You can stay here with us. Wei Wuxian seems happy enough to have you around, Lan Jingyi loves having someone to argue with… even uncle said the other day that it’s been a while since he’s had a decent opponent at weiqi.”

“And what about you?” Nie Huaisang asked, his cheeks a little pinker than they ought to be. “Are you also happy to have me here?”

“I am,” Lan Xichen replied, surprised to find that this, too, was the truth.

Partly because he’d always been a little too fond of Nie Huaisang, back before the Sunshot Campaign changed everything and forced him to set aside most of his personal attachments to better serve his sect. Partly, also, because he liked this current Nie Huaisang, who wasn’t quite as naïve and self-absorbed as he’d been as a boy, but lacked the cruelty years of solitude and resentment had taught him.

This was Nie Huaisang as he would have been, had the world been a little kinder. A clever young master who watched the world around him and understood people a little too well, but loved fun too much to ever do anything with what he learned, as long as his loved ones were safe.

“I’m glad to be here as well,” Nie Huaisang said.

He shuffled a little closer until he could rest his head against Lan Xichen’s shoulder. It had been years since anyone dared to be so carelessly intimate with Lan Xichen, who found he didn’t mind. Not if it was Nie Huaisang.

“You know, I’ve talked with Wei-xiong today, about this,” Nie Huaisang continued. “About what happened to me, and why, and how. He thinks it’s a curse, and there’s probably a condition that would allow it to be lifted. There usually is, after all. But I think if I really did this to myself, I'd have picked an impossible condition, because I wouldn't want to be saved from it. So I might stay like this for the rest of my life.”

“And you’ll be welcome to stay here that entire time,” Lan Xichen promised without thinking, squeezing Nie Huaisang’s hand again.

“That sounds really nice. I think I’ll take you on your offer, Er-ge,” Nie Huaisang said with a smile that Lan Xichen would have kissed if he’d dared. Later, while lying in his bed, he would wonder if he should have tried, only to eventually decide it would have ruined the moment.

Perhaps someday, in the future, thing would take that direction. For now they both had too much to deal with, too much to learn again about each other. It was fine. Lan Xichen was content to remain like this, sitting close together, holding hands, and watching those swallows finish their nest.

Just this was already more than he’d ever imagined he would get.

#xisang #nie huaisang #lan xichen #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #if I had a tag for that story I don't remember it #but it started as a prompt fill so I probably didn't have a tag for it lol #nhs amnesia

[t4tlawlight]

Occam's razor is the principle that, of two explanations that account for all the facts, the simpler one is more likely to be correct.

this post is going to cover traits specific to the manga and the television drama, since those are the best adaptations to showcase L’s autism. THIS POST is required reading before you read anything i’m about to type, because it explains what kind of character niche L falls into--an unintentionally autistic coded character. i’ll talk more about that at the end.

i’m going to talk about manga L first, since he’s the original version after all. i’m going to go in order of physical traits, to behavioral, to his character writing. also, tumblr eats posts that have outside links, so i’m going to have my non-tumblr sources in a separate post, here.

anyways, more under the cut!

MANGA/ANIME:

sitting with his legs up and spine bent / sitting on the floor

this is such a big one and its extremely common in ppl with autism. sitting in chairs normally is uncomfortable to outright painful w many ppl with these disorders, myself included. L sitting like that (which, to recall, is a blatant homage to sherlock holmes, another character that is so blatantly autistic coded you can find absolutely ridiculous amounts of writing on the topic) and being like "I HAVE TO SIT LIKE THIS TO THINK PROPERLY" is so autistic. like sitting in a certain way to give you specific sensory stimulus/avoid distracting discomfort and pain is a thing. i found this post (1) written by an autistic person on the topic of sitting in chairs being uncomfortable, and it says as much:

“I suspect that seating discomfort is common in autism (though by no means limited to autistic people). Many of us, particularly as children, benefit greatly from chairs designed to be non-stationary: rocking chairs, “fidget” chairs, and so forth. These can improve focus, compensate for proprioceptive hypo-sensitivity, and alleviate restlessness. In short, many “attention issues” can be fixed simply by providing a little motion for the person sitting. Small change, huge results. That's what accommodations do at their best. They make (often minor) adjustments that have profound impacts.”

so when L says that sitting the way he does, for a specific sensory experience, improves his ability to think, it’s perfectly in line with this idea. Also it’s a good pressure stim.

standing with a slouch / shifting his weight around

to begin: yes! it’s very common for autistic people to stand or walk oddly for a number of different reasons, from physical comorbidity to other issues such as dyspraxia (see: movie L). From an article by YAI (2), an I/DD (intellectual and/or developmental disabilities) community program:

“Kyphosis (a curved spine), collapsed chest, dropped shoulders and even scoliosis are observed in many of our patients. These myriad of postural issues may result from reduced strength, decreased biomechanical stability, or from a sensory impairment, such as apraxia. 

Depending on the scene, L has mild to severe kyphosis which is very common in autistic individuals. Other things mentioned in that article if you want to click on it is instability in standing, where you sort of shift your weight around a lot between your  feet or rest all of your weight on one foot, which L is literally doing the first time we see all of him.

speaking with a monotone voice.

i obviously can’t show a picture for this one and it honestly depends on the voice actor you find for L, but in the anime in particular L has a very flat tone. a lot of this is bc he has a dry sense of humor but. just know that it’s very common for autistic people to have a flat affect (or go the other way into being too loud/emotive).

his eating habits. 

a lot (a LOT) of autistic ppl myself included can only eat certain kinds of food for texture and flavor reasons. HOWEVER there’s a term in the autism community called “samefoods” which is really well put by tumblr users candidlyautistic and autism-asks: 

“Samefoods or samefooding is a community word to describe the autistic trait of eating the same food over, and over and over . . . It is part sensory, part routine driven in most cases. A lot of times we samefood because we need that particular mouthfeel / texture / taste, and a lot of times even after that need passes, it turns into a need for routine until you actively dislike that food again.”

“Samefooding on the other hand is closer to a special interest. When I have a samefood (chocolate ice cream, currently), I really, really want that food. I could eat that food endlessly and not get tired of it. I will get upset if I’m not able to have the food in a day. For me, it usually is kind of routine based as well. For instance, with my current samefood, I have some in the evenings and it’s become part of how I wind down from my day.”

we don’t know exactly why L specifically desires sweet food or if he considers it part of his routine, but what we do know is that he really wants to eat sweet food and avoids eating anything other than sweet food, so it could either be that he’s a picky eater and can’t handle savory or he’s samefooding on sweets!

wearing the same clothes

L wears the same clothes every single day. It’s also worth noting that what he does wear is baggy, too-big clothing, the kind that wouldn’t be tight and uncomfortable. once again, sensory issues are a huge thing for autistic individuals. one of my favorite aspects is that in no adaptation does he wear socks. even L wears shoes, he wears them like slippers, not putting them on all the way. people comment that he seems like he’s poor, but we know for a fact that he’s very rich and that wearing these clothes is a personal choice he made.

not caring for himself/outsourcing his self-care

i don’t think one day is exactly canon, rather it’s an exaggeration of what might actually happen--i.e. L doesn’t have a huge closet full of the same outfit, but he does have several versions of the same outfit on rotation; L doesn’t use a human washing machine, but Watari might help him/encourage him to bathe regularly. One Day is a parody comic, but it was made by the creators for a reason and that reason is that L pretty obviously relies on a caretaker (Watari) for his personal needs. Watari, in the manga proper, cooks and cleans and does most things for L. we’ll come back to this topic when we get to the drama though.

doing stimming behaviors

if you don’t know what stimming is, it refers to self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds. everyone stims to some extent, but in autism it tends to be more obvious, go on for longer, and sometimes be more disruptive to others. it’s often used to help deal with sensory overload, or used to express feelings--think of an autistic person being happy and flapping their hands in the air.

there are a LOT of instances of L displaying stimming behavior, from stacking his food or things on his desk, to spinning in his chair, to biting his fingers/using them to press on his lips, to wriggling and tapping his toes. here are some specific instances:

there are a lot more. i’ll talk about more when we get to dramaverse, but if you rewatch/reread death note it’s definitely worth noting whenever L does something like this!

detective work as a special interest

ok, first and foremost i want to establish what a special interest is. Tumblr user cartoon has my favorite explanation of what a special interest is that i’ve seen to date: 

“To have a deep, intense, passionate and incredibly focused / narrowed interest in a certain area of study, subject, topic or thing - to the exclusion of other interests. This interest is something that exists for the long-term, most often lasting for multiple months, years, or even you’re entire life “

L says that he only does detective work because it’s a hobby, and he finds it entertaining. We’ve also seen that he’s been at it for quite some time--if you take side content (the wammy’s house comic, LABB) seriously, then he’s been at it since childhood, with unwavering interest. it definitely comes across to me as L having a special interest in detective work, rather than it just being a normal hobby or a job for him, especially since he says it isn’t out of any moral obligation.

germaphobia

Germaphobia is very common for individuals with autism. a lot of the time it’s actually sensory issues associated with “dirty” things, and a lot of the time it’s because features of OCD are heavily comorbid with autism, including contamination OCD and such fears. regardless of the reason, though, L’s aversion to touching Bad Things is a very autistic behavior, and so is his resulting quirk that he tends to hold things in a very odd manner!

muted emotional expression

this is getting more into L’s character, but L tends to feel and express emotions in a very muted way. not to say he doesn’t have them, but for instance in the example above, L doesn’t have a solid grasp on what exactly he’s feeling. he thinks he might be acting irrationally and overemotionally because he logically should be afraid, but he isn’t sure, and none of these emotions present themselves visibly. 

i’ve also seen it said that Ukita’s death is another good example of his muted response to emotion--he tells Aizawa to stay rational and his voice doesn’t waver as he tells him as much, but he holds himself tightly. for someone with poor emotional competence, these physical signs of distress can be hard to read in oneself, but Aizawa (a man who is extremely in-tune with his emotions) can tell immediately.

high logic, low empathy

L is also a character who, like many autistic people, lacks a certain degree of empathy. it’s not that he doesn’t have any, but it’s limited enough--and he values logic over it enough--that he’s willing to make extreme decisions and take a “ends justify the means” approach (such as using people as bait.) in the example above, L takes a moment to work through what it must actually feel like, which rings as very autistic.

bluntness/not caring about social convention

there are so many examples of this i honestly could list them all day, but L is a character who is very to-the-point and doesn’t care about mincing his words. he can be outright rude to the people around him, especially if he considers them not worth basic courtesy. see: Matsuda. 

DRAMAVERSE

if you all knew me you should have known this section is inevitable. i’m not going to talk about every single adaptation because i do not have the time and the only other adaptation that is meaningful in that regard is the movieverse (i am fairly certain that movie L is dyspraxic) but on account of the fact that i don’t care about them i won’t subject you all to them here.

anyway, drama L shows much the same traits as animanga L above (they are, after all, technically the same character) but he displays them in different ways. 

he has a much more advanced degree of germaphobia, with Watari saying he’s sensitive to outside air and spraying everyone who enters his space with disinfectant, but not making them wash their hands or anything like that, so we can kind of tell that his issues are more rooted, again, in a fear of germs rather than any actual medical issue. he wants to feel as though he is clean, not necessarily actually be clean. this is very common in contamination OCD, which has a high comorbidity with autism. (my girlfriend has a very good headcanon post about drama L and OCD that isn’t so much analysis than just plain fun, but it’s worth a read!)

he stims, but he has a different array of stims than animanga L--he chews on his jelly pouch bottles, 

he tosses it between his hands, 

he kicks his feet,

and he bounces in his chair.

he still sits in an unconventional manner. he still samefoods, this time even more exclusively--he only eats Lucky Charge jelly pouches and nutritional bars. Watari onscreen puts his shirts on for him, as well as cooking, cleaning, and mending his clothes for him.

however, there are a few traits that are drama-exclusive that i think really add to an analysis of his autism!

social scripting

social scripting and echolalic scripting are both commonly described as “scripting,” but are very different! echolalic scripting is like echolalia, but echolalic scripting is the recitation of longer passages of dialogue from things the individual has heard before. but social scripting is when you memorize common conversations so you can rattle it off without worrying too much! this can be very handy, such as exchanging basic pleasantries or ordering food, but it can also backfire if someone responds in a way your script’s not set up for. you can find more information on the difference in this video (3). 

now, this relates to L in that there are two separate scenes where L says the same thing, rather inappropriately:

L: When I consider Kira’s personality, could it be that the strong-willed daughter is Kira? Or could that sweet-looking son of yours surprise us by proving to be him? You never know what humans are hiding beneath the surface... Soichiro: Enough. L: Sorry. It was just a joke.

-- Episode 2

L: Light-kun. Oh, I’m sorry... If I called you “Yagami-san,” it would be the same as what I call your father.  Light: That’s okay. Call me whatever you want. L: Then what about Kira? (silence) L: It's a joke.

-- Episode 4

one could say that L just has a terrible sense of humor--and, of course, having a poor grasp of humor is common with autistic individuals--but the fact that he says nearly the same thing as a defense twice makes me feel as though he has it rehearsed as a defense when people react poorly to things he’s said, which happens often.

mirroring and echolalia

echolalia was briefly covered in the previous example, but for those unaware, via wikipedia (4):

Echolalia is the unsolicited repetition of vocalizations made by another person (when repeated by the same person, it is called palilalia). In its profound form it is automatic and effortless.

mirroring, on the other hand, is explained as such, also via wikipedia (5):

Mirroring is the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. The concept often affects other individuals' notions about the individual that is exhibiting mirroring behaviors, which can lead to the individual building rapport with others.

both of these are very common in autism, and they’re exemplified while L’s character is established watching his favorite TV show, Owarai Paradise. On one occasion, he’s watching the show and this dialogue happens:

Hiroshi: Despite never telling her how I felt, I still got dumped. I am Hiroshi.  Watari: Who was this one again? L: He is Hiroshi. Hiroshi: I am Hiroshi. I am Hiroshi.

-- Episode 2

it’s important to note that in Japanese, “He is Hiroshi” and “I am Hiroshi” are said, at least in this instance, exactly the same, so L is echoing precisely what he’s heard.

On another occasion, L is again watching the show with a glass of wine (seemingly acquired simply to imitate the characters onscreen, as he never drinks it) and when the characters onscreen toast their glasses, L does the same, mirroring them. 

CONCLUSION

I linked a post at the very beginning of this analysis talking about how characters are unintentionally autistic coded, and it’s important to understand how this unintentional coding is different from a headcanon--i didn’t make up these traits. they aren’t something that only exist in my head that i ascribe to L for fun. 

i made this analysis both because i wanted to share L’s autistic coding in one cohesive place, because plenty of people have made lists before, but none that i could find that included so many examples with images and explanations--and i also made it because of the old ryuzaki persona “theory.” 

for those unaware, the ryuzaki persona headcanon suggests that L faked all of these traits in order to make people uncomfortable, to put them off-guard and better mask his identity. i’ve seen posts about people claiming that nobody could actually behave in these ways, that L would surely be unhappy and uncomfortable sitting like that, or eating like that, or engaging in any of these behaviors. I’ve seen some people outright say that L isn’t autistic, but his persona is--that is, he’s pretending to be autistic.

i named this essay “occam’s razor” because, to me, L being autistic is the simplest answer to account for all of these traits. claiming that an autistic coded character is faking it is ableist and it just doesn’t make sense with anything else we know about his character.

but if you want to know more about that, i recommend reading eyecicles’ first!L tag. it’s debunked it in more ways than i ever could.

anyways, in conclusion

#death note #death note drama #death note analysis #L lawliet

[satan-chillin]

Here, in this moment

Grand gestures of endearment, touches, and honeyed words in public are Wen Kexing's forte, though it doesn't mean Zhou Zishu doesn't have his moments.

(Or, coincidentally, the times Zhou Zishu discovers a couple of ways to shut Wen Kexing up.)

Also available in Ao3

i

Despite the growing population within the Four Seasons Manor, it was a known tradition of a sort for the Manor Lord to leave from time to time with his Second Disciple in tow. As far as the disciples knew, Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing had been on the road for too long before rebuilding the sect and had met under fated circumstances that brought them together—the younger students were wont to sigh in the inherent romanticism of it all—and might not have fully adjusted yet to the life with a stable abode.

If Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing were asked, they’d simply say that it was a continuation of their earlier promise of tasting all the wine while they lived, and, really, they had to escape the manor from time to time to get a breather. They couldn’t afford to leave the sect for a long span of time, not while it was still young and the Head Disciple a child still. It was the closest they would get to having several children, they supposed, and the experience could wear anyone down.

A stroll around the town was the best way to stretch their legs, so to speak, and for a moment, Zhou Zishu was taken to earlier days where Wen Kexing would follow him and appear wherever he went with what little time he initially had. Zhou Zishu was prone to deliberation these days, he realized, and often it was to match Wen Kexing’s pace in all the aspects of their lives. He was a little better in indulging him too, he thought, mildly giving his input here and there which tassel Wen Kexing should pick as gifts for two of their disciples who would have been with them for a year in a couple of days. He had been told that there was someone else about to have their birthday next week as well, and Zhou Zishu couldn’t help the slight smile at the thoughtfulness as he listened.

“Ah, how about this, A-Xu?” Wen Kexing picked up a fan from the stall next to the one Zhou Zishu dragged him from. “Do you think the color will suit—”

“They’ll like whatever you choose,” Zhou Zishu interrupted. It was true anyway. If Zhou Zishu was the strict and formidable master, Wen Kexing, while no less capable, was known more as the fond and doting one. Zhou Zishu wasn’t completely unaware of how Wen Kexing was called the mother—would that make him the father then? “Let me,” he said, taking half of the packages from Wen Kexing to free one of his hands.

“Eh. I can carry them all,” Wen Kexing protested half-heartedly but relented. He grinned, nudging Zhou Zishu’s side mischievously. “You just want my hand free so you can hold it, A-Xu.”

Zhou Zishu leveled him with a flat stare. “Yes, actually.” Reaching for Wen Kexing’s hand with his left, he laced their fingers that fit together seamlessly. He ignored the look of surprise he received in return. “Chengling said the newest recruit doesn’t have shoes that fit him.”

“Ah,” Wen Kexing murmured distractedly without looking away from their joined hands. “He might have mentioned that.”

Zhou Zishu squeezed his hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Thinking about it, there shouldn’t be anything complicated in holding Wen Kexing’s hand in the first place, though perhaps he should have done it a long time ago. He was determined not to let chances slide in his second time, however.

Fondly, Zhou Zishu led him away. “Let’s go then.”

ii

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Zhou Zishu had been drinking less than his usual. It wasn’t the alcohol itself, fine quality as it was and not the watered-down kind. Mainly, he attributed it to wanting to soak in the pleasant mood and the overall levity of the atmosphere; it had been years since the halls of Four Seasons Manor were filled with joyous chatter and laughs after all.

To his side was Wen Kexing regaling the enraptured junior disciples with tales of his escapades, and the lack of stumble and slur in his words made Zhou Zishu mistakenly thought he was unaffected by the alcohol even if he was drinking for just as long as him, if not in quicker successions.

As if feeling eyes on him, Zhou Zishu was met with a slight tilt of the head and a raised eyebrow. He noted the all too bright eyes—not entirely unaffected then. Absently, Zhou Zishu inched closer to him. “Don’t drink anymore if you can’t handle it,” he reminded, reaching for a pitcher of water instead and filling Wen Kexing’s cup. “You don’t want to be embarrassed in front of your disciples.”

“Lord Zhou should be heeding his own advice,” Wen Kexing tutted and drank. He frowned. “This isn’t wine.”

“It’s water. See, you didn’t even notice.”

Wen Kexing blankly stared at the empty cup in his hand. “Huh.”

Amusedly, Zhou Zishu pried the cup away. “You’ve had enough, I think.”

“A-Xu, why are you being stingy now? You never said no to overindulging, and what better time than in the New Year?”

“You forget that we better learn moderation from now on to set a good example.” Zhou Zishu remained unimpressed at the pout directed his way. “Think of the headache tomorrow,” he said. “Besides, aren’t you exhausted already after preparing all these mostly by yourself?”

That earned him a sigh and a weary smile. “Worth it.” He gestured at the lively company.

“It is,” Zhou Zishu agreed easily.

He wasn’t sure if Wen Kexing was aware of himself leaning towards him. He must be, though his heavy eyes and the sleepy grunt said otherwise.

“Want to sleep,” Wen Kexing mumbled. “Will A-Xu carry me?”

Zhou Zishu snorted but, inured to embarrassment at this point, allowed Wen Kexing to fall on his shoulder and was practically against his chest. Gingerly, Zhou Zishu encircled his arm around his waist, and, after some adjusting, pulled him by the underside of his knees. Wen Kexing barely registered the fact that he was being carried.

It wasn’t until the evening breeze met them outdoors did Wen Kexing shifted with a mild jolt and stared at Zhou Zishu blearily. “Did A-Xu just carry me from the hall?” he slurred. “In front of your disciples?”

Zhou Zishu valiantly ignored the dopey grin forming on Wen Kexing’s face. Truly, his drunken state was merely his less eloquent default. “Did you already forget that you asked me to?”

Wen Kexing blinked slowly, gaze dropping down by Zhou Zishu’s throat. In a lower voice, he spoke, “I remember.” Slumping further against Zhou Zishu, his chin hooked by his shoulder as he tightened his arms around his neck.

Wen Kexing was light in his arms and, oddly enough, quiet without completely falling asleep. Zhou Zishu was certain he could make this into a habit if only to silence him when needed.

“Lao Wen,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

Carrying Wen Kexing this way seemed like an inadequate form of recompense when all was said and done, especially not when Zhou Zishu was treated in return to the exquisite sight of a tender, affectionate smile.

iii

With the kitchen up and running with extra hands, it was common for a pleasant smell to waft over the courtyard from the start of the morning through the evening. Coming from his early meditation, Zhou Zishu followed a unique fragrance and wasn’t a bit surprised to find Wen Kexing at the source.

The first eleven additions of disciples were capable helpers, a fact which Wen Kexing was grateful for since their number grew. And while he still handled food preparation, it had been much easier with the assistance of three to five people. Zhou Zishu observed him putter around the kitchen, intermittently giving instructions to one of the disciples taking inventory of their supplies.

Though careful to move about, Zhou Zishu made enough noise that had Wen Kexing’s sudden attention on him with his arms crossed. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Lord Zhou should wait in the dining hall for breakfast.”

It was a wonder how his demeanor would turn strict when it came to cooking but was otherwise lax in far serious affairs. Huffing, Zhou Zishu ambled towards the cook, glancing at the cauldron with rice. He reached for a spoon. “That smells good.”

Wen Kexing batted his hand away. “It’s not ready,” he chided. “It smells good because of the saffron, but the flavor won’t be settling in for another quarter of an hour.”

Zhou Zishu watched his long fingers sprinkle a pinch of salt and pepper, almost enraptured at the way Wen Kexing was in his own element. Catching his gaze, Wen Kexing’s eyes softened imperceptibly. “A-Xu gets the first serving, of course.”

Zhou Zishu hummed. In a stroke of inspiration, he flitted behind Wen Kexing and hovered by his shoulder before reaching a hand around his waist, palm splaying over his abdomen. With Wen Kexing startled at the gesture, Zhou Zishu took advantage and swooped in with his spoon.

Some bits of the sticky rice were clumped but the hints of spice were already present. Without extricating himself from his position, Zhou Zishu added half a spoon of chili and tasted. He let out a small noise of approval, and if it happened to be right next to Wen Kexing’s ear and caused a vague shiver, well. “Delicious,” he muttered lowly.

From the far side of the room, someone stifled a cough and the moment was broken as quickly as it began. Zhou Zishu was already at an arm’s length when Wen Kexing rounded on him. Laughing, he dodged a smack to his side. “A-Xu! You—”

Zhou Zishu escaped before he could be properly thrown out of the kitchen, though not without reveling at Wen Kexing’s red ears.

iv

Zhou Zishu was not completely unaware of the appreciative stare that followed him upon entering the establishment. He could pinpoint the exact direction it was coming from: two tables to his right situated at the corner where a woman—highborn, based from her posture and rich robes—was dining with an elderly gentleman in equally luxurious attire who vaguely resembled her.

Pretending not to notice, he went on to hail the server for wine and food. Wen Kexing was taking his sweet time fetching a bag of his precious walnuts that Zhou Zishu couldn’t understand why he liked so much. Once he was served, Zhou Zishu started on the alcohol while he waited.

What he wasn’t expecting, though, was the abrupt presence of the same woman now at the empty seat across him. Zhou Zishu politely inclined his head in confusion and belatedly took note of the absence of her companion. “Guniang.”

“Gongzi.” She smiled handsomely in greeting, smelling faintly of lavender and jasmine. Judging from her features, she looked a year or so younger than him. Pretty, with practiced manners and grace, undeniably someone who could turn heads. “Pardon this one’s forwardness, but I noticed that gongzi is missing a company… and so am I after my father left me for the meantime. Might this one invite you to share mine perhaps?”

Zhou Zishu doubted that she had not heard him asking for a serving for two people and was obviously waiting for someone. Forward, that was for sure. Definitely a woman who had never been refused once she knew what she wanted. Zhou Zishu smiled amiably when he answered, “Thank you for the invitation, guniang, but I’m waiting for my companion.”

A flash of a frown crossed her delicate features before they smoothed over when she opened her pink lips to speak further of her insistence. Then, as if summoned, Zhou Zishu spotted Wen Kexing approaching from behind. Hearing what basically amounted to thundering steps, Zhou Zishu hid a grin behind his cup.

“A-Xu,” Wen Kexing called, tone deceptively beatific with an underlying sharpness that only Zhou Zishu was cognizant of. “I didn’t know we’ll be having a guest.”

“Guniang thought I’m eating alone, and she’s generous to offer her company,” Zhou Zishu supplied happily. Staring up at Wen Kexing, he added, innocuous, “What do you say, niang zi?”

Wen Kexing’s head snapped towards him incredulously, coincidental with the woman repeating the endearment under her breath in disbelief.

“What?” Zhou Zishu said in mock indignation. “Am I not allowed to call you that anymore after I protested with you calling me xiang gong? That was one time. Doesn’t mean I don’t like it.”

Wen Kexing hardly shifted on his feet even as the woman excused herself with all her ounce of dignity once the two ignored everything else but each other. Feeling satisfied, Zhou Zishu stood, grasped Wen Kexing’s shoulders, and pulled him down to the now free seat.

“Food’s getting cold,” was all Zhou Zishu said before digging in.

Halfway, Zhou Zishu discovered that red complementing Wen Kexing nicely wasn’t exclusive to his choice of garb alone.

v

Senior Ye had more white on his hair than the last time Zhou Zishu saw him.

“Old demon, you have more white hair,” Wen Kexing boldly said because, unlike Zhou Zishu, he did not possess a brain-to-mouth filter; that, and he wouldn’t pass up any chance to antagonize Senior Ye.

“And you have more wrinkles,” Senior Ye snarked back, giving as good as he got without putting down his meal. He smirked. “Having trouble handling the sect, I see.”

“We get by,” Zhou Zishu replied, interrupting Wen Kexing’s stewing annoyance. “We have yet to complete the numbers, but managing the household with more than three people can be difficult for one person. He’s been alright so far.”

“‘Alright’?” Wen Kexing scoffed. “I’m doing great.”

“Humble, are you?” Senior Ye snorted, popping a slice of cubed pork. “You’re not built for that kind of task, of course you fare barely.”

“Are you sure you want to tell that to the face of the person who made your food?” Wen Kexing sneered. “Freeloader!”

“I’m an honored guest. I deserve to be honored,” Senior Ye declared, and, fine, Zhou Zishu might have told him that. Shaking his head, Senior Ye turned to Zhou Zishu. “You’re a manor lord and unmarried. Why don’t you find a proper wife to manage your household affairs and serve as a positive influence to your disciples? Don’t let this brat run your sect to the ground.”

If Wen Kexing wasn’t angry before, he was positively fuming now. Zhou Zishu placed himself as a stopgap to a boiling pot and addressed the immortal, “Senior Ye is right. Fortunately, I can forgo the arduous process of searching for one, seeing as someone made a promise of marriage to me some time ago.”

Calmly, Zhou Zishu poured tea and drank before mentally counting down in that brief period of silence.

“Master is promised to someone?” Chengling asked with uncertainty. He looked as if he wasn’t sure whether to be happy at the news or be concerned, given the way he was subtly glancing at Wen Kexing who happened to be staring at his master woodenly. Zhou Zishu honestly felt rather bad that he almost forgot that the boy was also sharing their table and was witnessing this exchange firsthand.

Senior Ye, meanwhile, slowed his chewing and was eyeing Zhou Zishu curiously.

In a snap, Wen Kexing demanded, “A-Xu, who? Who has the gall to—”

It was a battle for Zhou Zishu to keep a straight face as he frowned at Wen Kexing bemusedly. “Didn’t you?” He pointed at the hairpin atop his head. At Wen Kexing’s dumbfounded look, Zhou Zishu made a doleful sigh. “Ah. I must have misunderstood your intention.”

“... A-Xu?”

Zhou Zishu straightened his back, twisting to get a proper look on Wen Kexing. It took all of his strength to not snicker in relish at Chengling’s bated breath and Senior Ye’s show of interest, try as he might hide it.

He was about to rectify a blatant mistake here.

Zhou Zishu tsked affectionately, and in a much softer approach, said, “Lao Wen.” He heard Wen Kexing’s breath hitching before he went in for the attack. “Let’s get married then.”

Someone could have dropped a pin at the hush that ensued; or, someone could have made the loudest of sound and Zhou Zishu wouldn’t have paid it any attention at all, not when he was wholly captivated by Wen Kexing whose stare was akin to memorizing Zhou Zishu’s face and committing it to memory, damn everything else.

“Yes,” he breathed, his voice almost inaudible and yet to Zhou Zishu it was loud and clear as the day, as bright as the blinding smile that bloomed on his face. To think that Zhou Zishu used to believe the beginning of spring around the Four Seasons Manor was the most breath-taking display he had ever seen. “A-Xu, let’s get married.”

If Zhou Zishu was completely lost in his own little world with Wen Kexing in the middle of lunch, amidst Chenling’s triumphant cheer and Senior Ye’s rude grumbling of the manor now having two shameless people living under it, no one could have blamed him.

+i

By fortnight, Zhou Zishu was a wedded man.

And just to be certain that the overwhelming feeling of warmth and happiness that threatened to burst out of his chest wasn’t from a fever-induced dream where he would wake with his heavily-crippled body, drunk and alone, he dipped Wen Kexing, his husband, by his waist and kissed him deeply for good measure.

There was no dream to be woken out of.

#shl fic #shl #shan he ling #wenzhou #tian ya ke #tyk #zhou zishu #wen kexing #fanfic #fanfiction #faraway wanderers #fluff #no angst #word of honor

[egg-emperor]

I want to hear your unique headcanons for an actual vampire Eggman! Let's make both our dreams come true bro *eyes* like how would he get his victims? Does he drink too much blood or go overboard like he does when eating in Canon? What vampire power would he use most?

I love actual vampire Eggman concepts! I've always had an AU for it, so I'm delighted to share some of my ideas. :D

He can only be found in the darkest, most spooky of places to perfectly match with his element. Some of the most notable being Hang Castle, Mystic Mansion, and Cryptic Castle. Sometimes he wishes he could expand his horizons and go to places where there are more people for the sake of hunting, but he can't stray too far from the darkest, most hidden away places. He at least enjoys the peace and quiet of getting to roam around on his own in them, as he only wants company if it's to get a bite.

His preferred way of catching his prey is by being sneaky! He gets the most thrill and entertainment out creeping up on them and their reaction when he catches them. He enjoys having the power to strike fear into their hearts by trying the most sudden and frightening approaches possible- it gets their blood pumping and ready for him to drink! So he often lurks in the shadows and when someone dares to visit the spooky area he’s at, he’ll soon be on their trail and will try his best to go mostly unnoticed.

He's big and intimidating as usual and certainly knows how to use it to his advantage when he’s out in the open. But he can also be quite clumsy, stumbling around and messing it up when he’s trying to silently follow his prey. It makes his preferred way of catching a little more challenging but it can be part of the fun. And even if he is spotted, they’re still screwed either way because he’ll be outright with his attacks if he must. His impressive amount of strength remains as a vampire and most don’t stand a chance against it.

Everyone is very afraid of his huge fangs and the way his bites are the most dangerous of all vampire bites. They’re so sharp and rough that he can easily draw lots more blood out of a wound than expected, and it’s often merely by accident due to his eagerness. That’s a big problem for the victim but a pleasant surpise for him! He finds it a real treat and laps it all up happily. He almost always drinks more than the amount one might consider suitable for a vampire’s feeding but he's never followed the rules!

Many assume that he pulls in victims frequently and is very successful due to how plump he is. XD But the places he stays don’t get visitors as much as he’d like so it’s not how often he gets them, it’s how he tends to go overboard with it. He makes the most out of every catch by drinking as much as he can and he doesn’t need to feed again for a good while after, which is well worth the effort! He also has the habit of drinking too fast so he gets hiccups and doesn’t seem so scary for a few minutes nshfjsfjsfg

He can turn into a bat, a cute round one lol. He doesn’t change often because it drains his energy but it can help him get around a bit more quietly when necessary and he likes to use it for a lot of cruel trickery. One example of this is by flying up from behind someone, then suddenly changing back to frighten them. People find it terrifying every time and he’s very amused. When they practically leap into the air with fright, it's the perfect chance for him to catch them off guard and grab them!

He's light sensitive to both artificial sources and natural sunlight, so he prefers to remain in the shadows and pitch blackness. Some mild exposure isn't severely damaging, but he prefers to avoid it entirely for the comfort of his eyes and skin. Trouble is, he still can’t see any better in the dark as a vampire, which is even more of a problem with all the dark places he hangs around in. Luckily, part of his vampire abilities is that he has an increased sense of smell and hearing, which helps him get around.

He has memorized smells of every area he roams to identify them and notices even the smallest sounds. It helps in tracking victims much more precisely, with an impressive range. He's hypersensitive to some noises and smells, especially blood because he'll eagerly pursue and locate them in no time so he can get a taste! This is the most used of his abilities as he uses it naturally all the time. And it's the most useful of all as it helps him move around in general and stay alert while hunting.

He can vanish behind his cloak and appear to teleport but he's really turning invisible. He can only do it briefly for short seconds at a time though, so he can’t use it to stay hidden, otherwise creeping would be much easier! But he can at least use it as a distraction tactic that confuses his targets. He likes to play games and mess with them by popping up in different places to make them struggle to keep up. And when they're confused and have lost sight of him, he can strike when they’re most vulnerable.

His strength remains prominent as a vampire but he hasn't quite explored the true extent it can go. He finds it very useful for hunting though, as he has yet to fail a catch as they're no match. Once he latches onto his victims, there's a very little chance of them escaping. And they're fools to think they can run once they spot him, because he also still has his surprising amount of speed. Being chased down a hallway is a nightmare for them because he’s so unbelievably fast! XD

#dr eggman #eggman #dr robotnik #dr. eggman #vampire egg #halloween #asks #headcanons #my AUs #my post #hiccups #my aus #vampire au

[rkkyul]

190627 MGA SEASON 5  +  EPISODE ONE ⟨  ━━  ❀ °    PART ONE: PERFORMANCE, SWAN LAKE/STRIP ( 0:00 - 0:36, 0:00 - 1:22 )   ⟩

her expectations were questionable after her eventual day at seoul arts. initially, she had thought that with this many people chances of her going forward with the show were pretty slim. but after returning home and allowing herself to relax, slipping out of her clothing and cooling off in the bath with many bubbles and a modest glass of wine, kyulkyung found herself thinking back on her performance. her dance was more than acceptable in her eyes, but her singing might be a different story. 

fake it til you make it, something she used to tell herself often last year. she had forgotten the habit after waiting so long to perform again, nothing demanding this much out of her since her last perfomance at knb. the pressure and anxiety of not knowing how she did would slow eat her alive if she didn’t just fill herself with ounces of nothing but confidence. and so she did just that, told herself she had made it up until she opened the callback email that next week. 

the sound of her heart pounding on her chest was enough to make her ears ring, to make her mouth run dry and her fingers shake as she clicked and scrolled through the email. she couldn’t take it - the entire week of her telling herself you did it, there’s no way you didn’t meant nothing until she saw that she had indeed advanced. and sure enough, there it was.

CONGRAULATIONS, ZHOU JIEQIONG.

she was so relieved they spelled her name right.

the days leading up to the next phase of her journey were anything but relaxing. boyoung generously allowed her time off during her time at the mgas, however long that may be. in exchange for all the hassle, her friend gave her strict orders to win but she could only respond with a sheepish one step at a time. episode one sounded like another audition, further proving she had a long way to go.

this round kyulkyung had a bit more time to showcase what exactly she had to bring to the table. there were many dancers out there and she’s convinced a great number would be joining her on stage in a few days. she debated her performance over dinner with yuqi and boyoung over dinner - having bought a cake to celebrate the two in their advancement. yuqi was competition, but kyulkyung just couldn’t help herself from sharing every little detail about what she was wanting to do, probably talking the poor girl’s ear off but she just couldn’t stop. 

it was hard to get her mind off something she had set it to; she had thrown herself head first into this competition without even realizing it. in the beginning, her thoughts were just to try it out and see what happened, to satisfy those who poked at her to sign up for days just to get some peace. but it seemed that once she got a tiny taste of victory, kyulkyung just starved for more.

the woman didn’t dressed herself up too much when the time came, needing to formulate a costume that would allow easy and flexible movements but wouldn’t be too distracting. a nice pair of dark leggings hugged her legs, tiny zippers coming up the sides, and a pink fitted top that ended just below her navel covered her torso comfortably. kyulkyung carried her pointe shoes and tutu as to not ruin the ruffles, carrying herself proudly into the building and directing her eyes over the swarm of people.

fake it til you make it.

the woman found herself a seat on one of the sides of the stage, finding a seat near yuqi so she could sneak looks at her during the day. "good luck, pretty girl.” she whispered, smiling at her roommate before making her way towards an empty seat. as time went by, more seats filled up and kyulkyung found herself yet again growing impatient. she tapped her leg against the ground quickly, bouncing the limb up and down as she tried to pass the time with the people around here. most seemed nice enough but there were certainly a few she’d be keeping her eye on; this was a competition after all. 

the judges finally made their appearance and all at once the mood changed. for the first time since she sat down, kyulkyung shut her mouth and mimicked everyone else; following the CEOs as they took their seats and suddenly, this all felt too real.

 it wasn’t long before the first name was being announced by katie lee - all eyes on the unfortunate soul who had to set an example for them all. kyulkyung watched each performance intently, mumbling a few opinions and takeaways to the two who sat closest to her. the first performance proved to be a tiny bit of a let down and although she felt bad for the poor soul, she couldn’t help but whisper to minkyung who sat to her side. “maybe this won’t be as bad as we thought.”

it felt like forever before her name was called, kyulkyung growing too invested in everyone else’s performances. she almost didn’t register when her name was actually called - the only thing snapping her back to reality being Tiger JK’s voice as he called her name rather impatiently. "ZHOU... JIEQIONG” not too bad, kyulkyung thought to herself, quickly slipping out of one pair of shoes into the other. the woman stood and grabbed her tutu, practically running up onstage in fear of keeping the judges waiting. 

"PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF”

kyulkyung nodded her head and let a bright smile form across her cheeks, both excitement and fear leaving her hands shaking as they held her tutu close to her chest. the tulle of her tutu was puffed out to perfection, a beautiful pink that complimented her perfectly but tickled her nose as she held it close to her chest. kyulkyung scrunched up her nose before blowing the tulle away from her face, dropping it further down her torso to introduce herself. “hello, i’m zhou jieqiong.” like her interview, the woman first introduced herself in chinese before continuing. “hello everyone!! my name is zhou jieqiong, but sometimes it’s just easier to call me kyulkyung.” she grinned, waving both at the judges and the other contestants before she continued. “i prepared something today that’s hopefully a little different, so hopefully you’ll like it.”

as soon as the lights began to dim, the woman instantly moved to slip into her tutu. she had a few moments to collect herself, to take a few breaths and slide into the role of odette. swan lake being a favorite of hers, it was a no brainer when it came to deciding on the first half of her routine. the music itself was absolutely beautiful, calm and elegant yet it took her breath away. the tune surrounded her on stage, willing her movements to begin - her legs shifting into a plié and allowing her arms to drop ever so slowly.

it was impossible for kyulkyung not to feel beautiful when she danced - the rush she got when she danced ballet something she had come to miss. this was her first serious performance in awhile where she got to wear her pointe shoes, the first she had performed a ballet routine in front of an audience since last year. that fact alone was enough to make her worry, but she craved to show this side of her - to give them something she hadn’t at her last audition. 

kyulkyung’s legs moved stiffly into high kicks and tightly kept movements - her legs the complete opposite of the pillowy motions of her arms. the ballet portion of her routine came to an end and the next section was quickly approaching, the music suddenly cutting out as she was moving into another kick. a look of surprised formed over her face, before she was moving to kick off her pointe shoes and slip out of her tutu. the look of mild confusion on the CEOs faces was enough to make her smile, the countdown to the next portion of her performance beginning.

take off all my make-up 'cause i love what’s under it rub off all your words, don't give a uh, i'm over it (jiggle all this weight, yeah, you know i love all of this) finally love me naked, sexiest when i’m confident

the beginning portion of strip contained so much of her personality, a huge contrast to what she had just shown. odette’s solo was all about elegance and beauty, nothing but gentle smiles and longing looks coming from a woman who was usually so full of life. the point of this performance was not only to show what she was capable of, who she was in the past, but to also show she was able to change, to adapt and let everyone know she knew how to have a little fun. 

you say i ain't pretty well, i say i'm beautiful, it's my committee say we too provocative still look at me, look at me, look at me, yeah come for my girls, you blind daily mail ratin', mañana a la noche i don't owe you nothin' nah, i don't give a, no, not anymore

kyulkyung moved across the stage, smiling from ear to ear and allowing herself to just have fun in this moment. she took a risk doing this, performing a routine that was full of charisma verses skill. boyoung told her to do something showcasing a bit more skill, more of a wow factor like her performance at the audition. but everyone would be doing that, who didn’t want to show all that they were capable of? and kyulkyung almost gave in, almost put together something that was more wow than power, but she couldn’t find herself enjoying it as much as she did now. 

this was not a time to show all that she was, but rather a short preview. she couldn’t give them everything now; she needed them to want more.

(ah-ooh) if you got little boobs, love it, love it, love it, love it, love it if you got a big ass, grab it, grab it grab it, grab it, grab it (ah-ooh) if you got nothing, babe, rock it it’s your life, go get it, if you want it up in the mirror like, "aw, yeah" lovin’ my figure like, "aw, yeah" when i'm slim or i’m thick, i'm like, "aw, yeah" swear i'ma kill 'em like ah

kyulkyung sure to let her eyes wander as she danced, bouncing back and forth from the judges to the contestants who surrounded the stage. the woman winked at hyun bin just to play around a bit - having the time of her lip up on stage and enjoying the spotlight she had.

strip! take off all my make-up ’cause i love what's under it rub off all your words, don't give a uh, i'm over it strip! jiggle all this weight, yeah, you know i love all of this finally love me naked, sexiest when I'm confident (ah, ah, ah, ah)

she missed moments like these the most. she loved all the attention on her, loved the rush and reactions she got when she was dancing. prior to the announcing of this season, kyulkyung hadn’t thought of being an idol. she didn’t know about the world of an idol and didn’t understand it completely. but the more she allowed herself to get caught up, the more she yearned for that contract, to see what all of this could bring.

maybe this was her new dream.

i ain't scared anymore my body outta control (strip!) baby, i know that you love dis, dis, dis, dis i know i'm a hot bitch, bitch gotta do what you want if they love it or they don't (srip!) i know you ain't ready for dis, dis, dis, dis baby, take it off (strip!) da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da

kyulkyung panted, breathless as she ended and sweat dotting her forehead. she prayed that they would have touch up after this because sweat and makeup do not mix. the woman smiled as she moved to bow and thank the CEOs for watching her performance. she bowed a few more times to both the staff and her fellow contestants before moving to go off stage - almost forgetting her tutu and shoes in the process. it was only after her performance that she realized she did that whole thing barefoot... at least she painted her toenails a pretty shade of pink the day before.

#rkmga5 #rkmga5callback #❀ ° ～ once upon a time. #i tried not to make this too long #rkyq #rkxminkyung #bc mentioned #wc: 1825 #i'm sorry #yes she did everything after her ballet barefoot #she's sad

[shockwrites]

Starstruck

Author’s Note: I forget that I write sfw stuff sometimes

Series: League of Legends

Pairing: Luxanna Crownguard/Ezreal

Length: 2042

Rating: Safe

Lux was setting a bad example for the others.

Prim and proper Luxanna, leader of the Star Guardians, sneaking out past curfew? And on a school night??

She could already feel herself rolling her eyes at Jinx’s sarcasm, probably using Lux’s little felony as a get-out-of-jail-free card for when next she’ll no doubt do something…Jinx-like.

Lux sighed, nervously straightening her hair. She didn’t know what she was expecting when she asked Ezreal to meet her out in the woods that night. For whatever reason, she didn’t expect him to say yes. Why was she so surprised that he said yes? He was a Star Guardian like her. He’s expressed some interest in her too…hasn’t he? The occasional wave whenever he saw her, the corny jokes he’d tell her (that she would never admit to Jinx that she found funny), the way he’d listen to her attentively as she talked, not once taking her eyes off of her.

Maybe she was blowing this out of proportion…

He’s on a different team for stars’ sake! Ahri’s platoon wasn’t exactly on friendly terms with Lux’s. How did she know Ezreal wasn’t playing her for a fool? How did she know he wasn’t-“

“-running late!”

Exhausted panting and mild chuckles snapped Lux’s rambling brain back to reality. “Ez!” She yelled a bit too eagerly. “Y-You made it! Cool!” Question: what kind of numbskull talks like that?

“Yeah sorry,” Ezreal huffed, bent over in exasperation. His light blonde hair was disheveled slightly and his clothes were a mess, probably haphazardly thrown on last minute. That is absolutely illegal. His hair has zero permission to be that perfect. I call blasphemy. “Getting past Sarah’s not the easiest task.”

Lux’s mind raced back to Sarah Fortune’s intense, and quite frankly terrifying, glare. The standoffish Star Guardian must have been a real barrel of fun to room with. “I can imagine.”

Much to the dismay of her brain, Lux’s eyes couldn’t help but trace over the ruffled teenager before her. She recognized his sleeveless white and blue jersey that he usually wore. Probably one of his favorites. His ripped jeans were worn from misuse as if he traveled everywhere in them. He had that sort of explorer vibe to him. Ezreal always seemed to have a daring gleam in his eyes, like he was constantly ready to let his curiosity take the wheel and set him on a path to adventure.

Adventure…

Perhaps that’s what set him on the path of being a Star Guardian. Adventure was certainly one term one could use to describe their roles in the universe. Lux, on the other hand, had different terms: a burden, a duty, a trial even to name a few. Ezreal stood out from the rest of his team. He wasn’t hot-headed like Miss Fortune, or aloof like Syndra. He had a boyish charm about him. Something that reminded her that she was still a dumb teenager doing dumb teenage things. Things like texting, going to the mall, talking about boys…looking at boys…talking to boys…kissing boys…

Fu-

“Lux?”

It took the pink haired galaxy heroine a disturbing amount of time to realize she spent some odd minutes wordlessly ogling at Ezreal’s face like she was trying to win the world’s most uncomfortable staring contest.

“Wuhuh?” By the stars, could you stop being embarrassing for 2 minutes? Please?? “Oh-Oh sorry! Just a little, uhh…distracted! Just y’know, you look really…cute tonight.”

Ezreal’s cheeks reddened at her comment. He scratched the back of his head, visibly embarrassed. Lux wasn’t expecting that.

Oh stars, Ez, all of that handsome is going to kill me before the void even comes close.

“So, uh, Lux…you said you wanted to show me something?” He scratched the back of his neck casually. His eyes ran around the quiet atmosphere of the forest. “At night? In the middle of the woods?”

“Right! Yeah, I absolutely did want to show you something!”

Beat

I’m doing the finger pistols, aren’t I? “Follow me.”

The walk through the forest was quiet yet thankfully less awkward than before. Ez seemed more preoccupied with his surroundings. His inquisitive force of habit. Lux thanked the benevolent deities in the galaxy that he didn’t ditch her for a rock.

He wouldn’t ditch her for a rock, right?

Surely Lux wasn’t that uninteresting. She did fun things! Thinks like reading! And doing homework!

…

…………

I’m gonna die alone in a ditch, I swe-EEEARHH!!

A leader of planet protecting super soldiers must always be ready for the unexpected, a rule that Lux learned early on in her career.

A shame that rule never mentioned anything about vicious foot tripping branches.

As poor Lux planted face first into the dirt, Jinx’s distinct snorting laughter rang in her ears. Forget dying in a ditch, she was going to be the only one in the cemetery at this point. Lux could already read her tombstone; “Here lies Luxanna: A Forgotten Embarrassment. May the Stars have mercy on her poorly led team.”

She wanted to be surprised when Ezreal extended a hand to her. She would’ve been absolutely floored if any the rest of his team did anything of the sort if they had witnessed such a shameful display from a Star Guardian. How thankful was she that Ezreal wasn’t anything like them.

“You alright?” He asked. Lux didn’t know why such a little detail such as his genuine concern for her would leave a warm feeling in her chest.

“Yeah, dandy.” She replied, wiping the dirt from her shirt. “It only hurt my face…and pride.”

“It should, that was pathetic.”

Her face dropped faster than a comet. “W-what?”

Ez went down on to a knee while her brain was still processing what was said. “You wanna talk about falls, lemme show you one of mine.” He bunched up the leg of his jeans, directing her attention to a faded mark on his knee. Lux breathed in sharply once she saw the size of it; angled just above his kneecap. Instinctively, Lux rubbed her own knee in response, almost feeling the phantom pain from the wound herself. “Tripped down a flight of stairs a while back. You should’ve seen it, my teeth couldn’t stop chattering for a whole minute because my chin got decked so many times.” Ez chuckled like he was reminiscing a fond memory. “You know, I could still hear Syndra laughing at me.”

“Oh no!” Lux gasped in sympathy. “Were you ok?”

Ezreal’s finger lightly brushed along the scar. “Walking was a bit of a challenge. Nothing a cast couldn’t fix. Hope I’ll never be that bored sitting on my thumbs ever again.” Lux was blessed to see that relaxed smile of his. “The point is if you ever get embarrassed tripping on a branch or something, always remember the mental image of my face getting body-checked by like a million steps.”

Lux couldn’t stop herself from snickering. Something about that jovial sense of humor relaxed her. “C’mon, it’s just a little farther.”

Lux led them to a wide clearing within the forest overlooking a cliff. The far-off lights of the city shined from the distance, illuminating the clearing along with the glow of the moonlight and beautiful stars watching over them. Lux smiled. The sight of the inky night sky decorated with the reddish tint of the gorgeous nebulae entranced her, more than it should for someone such as her. It was nothing new to the Star Guardians.

“This,” Lux said, glancing back at Ezreal. “I uhh…wanted to show you this spot.” It was difficult for her to read his face. He analyzed the scenery intently, his eyes almost searching for something in the galactic abyss of stars. Lux’s heart dropped for the umpteenth time. A lump formed in her throat when he didn’t respond right away. Was he expecting something different? She must have been boring him for sure! What was she thinking? He was sure to have seen a million sights better than this! “U-umm…I just thought that uhh,” Come on Lux, use your words. “I thought it was…pretty.” I MEANT BETTER WORDS.

“I think it’s-”

“I know! It’s lame!” Lux blurted. “I wasn’t thinking!” She rambled. “We spend like 80 percent of our time in space! I just wanted to show you this little spot because I come here a lot and-and-”

“Actually, I think it’s pretty too.”

Ez didn’t stop marveling at the sight. He took a few steps forward, stopping just at the edge of the cliff before sitting down. Lux, still in disbelief, slowly joined him. “You know what’s weird?” He asked. “It’s amazingly easy to forget the Star in Star Guardians.”

Lux blinked. “What do you mean?”

Still mesmerized, he looked back at her. “We never take a minute to really experience what we…you know, guard.” Ez rubbed the back of his head. “Not sure if I’m making sense…”

His words buzzed in her mind. In her short time defending the planet, her team hadn’t stopped once to take in the fact that they were spacefaring superheroes. It would be easy to think that staring at a starry night sky after flying through it effortlessly would be underwhelming. Why stop and look when they’re already part of your job? Not Lux, however. And thankfully, not Ez.

“No, I get it.” Lux approached him, seating herself next to him atop the cliff. She felt her cheeks heat up when it dawned on her that she hadn’t been this close to his face before.

Seeing his blonde and teal colored locks this up close sent a certain heat to her cheeks. She really hadn’t been this up close before. Was she being weird? He wasn’t paying attention anything other than the stars.

“They say that we’re protectors.” He continued. “I think maybe I wanna get a little taste of what we’re protecting.”

Lux’s arm acted out of its own free will, looking to take advantage of Ezreal’s unsuspecting hand. She was unable to tell if he had registered her fingers wrapping around his palm. He seemed so…relaxed. The tranquil air reached her as well. Moments passed. Time passed the two teenagers by as the wordlessly enjoyed the peaceful shine of the moon.

The unthinkable occurred. Lux’s eyes widened in response to the sudden weight falling on her shoulder. Her thoughts were abuzz attempting to concoct a myriad of outlandish explanations as to why something soft and comfortable had taken up residence on her arm. Star’s forbid that a certain blonde demigod space warrior knight was legitimately pulling a romance novel cliché on her, less her face swell with the amount of blood flowing to her cheeks.

“Ez?”

There was no response. Only slow, light breathing, followed by a sound Lux was quite familiar with after sharing a room with Jinx.

Leave it to Star Guardian, Ez, to make even snoring attractive.

Ezreal slumped onto Lux’s shoulder, all but completely knocked out. He seemed so upbeat and attentive not seconds ago. Lux glanced at her phone, seeing that it was already quarter-to-one in the morning. They both had their respective dorms to go back to, especially considering the two guardians had a full day of school to look forward to, running on – what? Five hours of sleep?

Lux wanted to find the power to wake him up so they could awkwardly ignore the fact that they were a stone’s throw away from essentially cuddling themselves to sleep. Yet, unsurprisingly, she couldn’t. She could kill malicious void monstrosities from other planets but Luxana Crownguard was unable to resist the tempting enticements of a romantic embrace under the stars with a boy.

So she didn’t.

It wasn’t long before the drowsiness made Lux’s eyelids ten times heavier. She let herself plop onto the now pillowy soft grass, leaving Ezreal to comfortably use her an impromptu pillow. Lux thought to set the alarm on her phone, to not turn the next a.m. into a stress-addled mad dash of a morning rush. Her (soon to be un)conscious mind decided it wasn’t worth the hassle. They were both still Star Guardians. Surely the measly morning rush couldn’t be that much of a challenge.

…

……………..

Eyes cracking open in a cold sweat, Lux set her alarm to full volume.

#ezlux #league of legends #ezreal #luxanna crownguard #star guardians #safe

[elizabethrobertajones]

I promise I'm not trying to be wanky, I just want to understand fandom things. What's th difference between a darkship and shipping an abusive relationship? (The latter of which is certainly a bad thing, even if it's fictional.)

Heya! You’ve certainly picked the right non-confrontational shipper of fluff and mild angst to ask this to :P 

The difference seems to largely be one of perception. People ship dark ships which routinely can include elements of abuse in the relationship, while it tends to be more from the accusational side that people say you’re shipping an abusive relationship. 

From the perspective of the darkshipper, they are exploring something that resonates to them in this ship, whether it be anything from “they’re so hot together how could you NOT” to serious and emotionally cathartic ways to approach trauma in a safe controlled environment. Which, incidentally, makes it very painful when people start slinging accusations that the darkshippers are abusive themselves, that this kind of shipping is evil or shouldn’t be allowed, or “won’t someone think of the children”-ing it. 

On the other hand, in a wider fandom culture way, the lines get awful blurry around ethics, especially with ship defence and knee jerk reactions, and people are not good at being critical of their own hobbies. This leads to people glorifying or diminishing the pain that makes the darkship interesting and not critically considering what they are doing when defending for example the entire concept of paedophilia or incest in order to maintain their perception of an ethical high ground. This can cause ethical slides, e.g. large swathes of fandom uncritically repeating or internalising the habits of BNFs who get into flame wars and defend this stuff, who end up parroting justifications for IRL abuse or siding with IRL abusive practices etc in order to not feel bad about their ship, especially if they are uncritically consuming it as a ROMANCE narrative, rather than ever engaging with the dark heart of it. E.g. Reylo is such a an enormous ship at this point that while some people may ship it in character for the fucked up mess it is, the fear that anti-shippers argue is that swathes of impressionable young girls are getting their Bella and Edward of this generation and uncritically being presented with this as an ideal romance by kneejerk defences that the ship is romantic instead of fucked up, which will warp their own critical interpretation, and possibly not just lead to bad fandom habits, but IRL damage if they think beta male behaviour like Kyle’s is romantic rather than creepy, as his character type resonates into IRL shitty behaviour that he personifies a certain culture as a parody/interpretation of. 

It’s why it is EXTREMELY important to be critical of not just the media you consume but the fandom and ships you engage with. You have to be able to concede ground and see why people are criticising your ship, without taking it as a personal insult. For example, people say Destiel is abusive, and many people are horrified by the way Dean verbally treats Cas when he is angry, or in turn people hate things like the crypt scene fights where they beat the shit out of each other and see enjoying that and the romantic declarations such scenes wring out as abuse apologism. As a respectful and healthy shipper you HAVE to acknowledge this and not kneejerk defend that nothing they have ever done ever is wrong or comes across this way. Once you can acknowledge this, you can explore the space with an ethical compass that points somewhat to north, and work out your taste and to what degree you agree and to what degree you can compromise and create an interpretation of the ship that makes you happy. If you have your full critical thinking hat on, saying “it was mind control in a fantasy television program” while making it clear you understand the rest, is completely different from spewing vitriol about how Cas didn’t know what he was doing and twu love stopped it, that will immediately hit too close to home to people who have experience of drunken abusive relationships, despite the superficial similarity of these stances. The blurry line between them is where wank about this gets a foothold. 

Other people do dark ship Destiel, and love dynamics such as demon!Dean and Cas because it’s fucked up and they like that space - there’s art of demon!Dean hurting Cas or kissing him when it is obvious they have been fighting, and people really enjoy this messed up dynamic. Meanwhile this same ship is my fluffy place, so I have to acknowledge that where they get off on it as an abusive ship, it’s not something I feel accusatory or angry about, as long as everyone is responsible and aware that this is not a healthy or desired form of their relationship if we want them to be emotionally happy. That’s just not what the darkshippers are enjoying about the dynamic when they ship it this way. At the same time it’s not abuse apologism to enjoy it that way, or causing any actual damage to MY personal enjoyment of the ship. 

So, yeah, blurry lines and perception and accusations really make the difference between these things. As usual, self-awareness and critical thinking would save the day, if they weren’t a limited resource online >.>

#Asks #abuse mention cw #fandom problems

[technogeist1890]

This is my Tokyo Ghoul OC, Arakawa Kenji.  (first pic)  He looks like this.  

Name:  Arakawa Kenji Alias: Zero (because it looks like he has zero eyes) Age: 23 Hair Color:  Green (he dyed it to further disguise his identity) Eye Color:  Black and red in their ghoul form obviously, but when they’re not ghoul eyes, they’re olive green. Skin Tone:  Average Height: 5'11’’ D.O.B:  12/3 District #: 20 (formerly 11) Race: Ghoul

Personality:  Kenji is a relatively mild-mannered and intelligent guy with an eye for the ladies.  He’s kind of a flirt, but not to the point where he harasses women.  Even being so mild-mannered, he is still a very cheeky individual.  For example, he is not particularly inclined towards killing the Doves, but that doesn’t mean he won’t mess with them.  He likes to scare them from behind a lamppost or other thing and then run off before they can react.  His most favorite prank is hanging upside down from something by his kagune, waiting for a Dove to come along.  Then he’ll reach down and poke them or some other invasive yet non-life-threatening action, and whisk back out of sight before they turn around.  Actually, he’ll prank anybody in fun, but he loves to mind-mess with the Doves.  He is also rather flamboyant at times.  He’s an artist, and never fails to see the beauty in things.

Biography:  Arakawa Kenji was born to a fairly rich family of ghouls in Tokyo.  At first, he was okay with their lifestyle, not really caring that they ate human flesh.  It was food after all, and it tasted good.  But then, one evening, fifteen-year-old Kenji followed his father to where the elder Arakawa attacked and killed a little girl before consuming it.  In that moment, he saw the true horror of his existence as a ghoul, and ran away from home, ending up at Anteiku, where he was taken in by the ghouls there.  He changed his appearance some along the way, dying his hair green and getting a tattoo on his left shoulder.   While at Anteiku, he saw how neat and civilized the ghouls there were, and he realized that not all ghouls were bloodthirsty.  Some didn’t even want to be ghouls, like him.  Eventually, he learned to cope with his life, and even developed a knack for “food-shopping.”  -Under Construction.

Kenji’s kagune.

Kagune:  Six, dark, blackish-grey rattlesnake-style rinkaku kagune. Rating:  S

Kenji’s mask.

Mask:  Kenji’s mask is inspired by a scary story his nanny used to tell him, about a demon with no facial features except a hideously disfigured grin of a gaping black mouth.  Every year on the same date, the demon went out dressed as a woman with long black hair and flowing white robes.  She would come upon a person and look at them with her eyeless face, and their mouth would be forced into that same grin.  She would sever their face and wear it as a mask until the next year.  The victim always survived, but usually went insane.  To mimick the appearance of no eyes, Kenji’s mask has white mesh where the eyeholes are.  He can see out, but no one can see in.  At the corners and edges of the mouth are streaks of red paint, to simulate blood.

Extras: Likes:  anime (its his guilty pleasure), watching movies, going to kids’ playgrounds in the middle of the night and messing around, doodling, overcast days, rain, ferrets, cute things (like ferrets), sunsets, shooting stars, generally anything nature-related that has any potential for being beautiful Dislikes:  really sunny days, snow, ladybugs (they get in his coffee), coffee with too much/not enough sugar Bad Habits:  Sometimes Kenji’s pranks go a little too far and someone gets hurt, though not seriously, and he has to take responsibility.  Also, he’s a habitual late sleeper. Relationships:  

Uta:  Kenji and Uta are very good friends, due to their mutual love of art, and they often hang out together and brainstorm new mask designs. 

Kaneki:  They honestly don’t hang out much, due to them being not too close in age, but when they do hang out, they get along well. 

Nishio:  Best.  Pals.  Ever.  They do pranks together, go to see movies together (when they’re not working), and generally just act like goofy college boys together. 

Hinami:  Kenji absolutely loves Hinami.  He has a weakness for cute things, and to him, Hinami is adorable. 

Tsukiyama:  He hates him.  Tsukiyama is kind of attracted to Kenji, because he’s not too bad-looking.  But Kenji thinks Tsukiyama is very creepy and tries to avoid him at all costs. Sexual orientation:  Straight

————————————————————————————-

Trivia:

-He has a pet ferret which he named Kossori, meaning Sneaky. The ferret can usually be found on his shoulder.

-His favorite anime is Hetalia.  He just likes to laugh at the dorky characters.

(I apologize for the crappy quality of the mask and kagune pictures.  I suck at drawing.)

#tokyo ghoul oc

[migueljeff1996]

How To Cure Tmj Ear Pain Marvelous Tips

This is characterized by pain, deviation and clicking sounds.The mild case occurs when the individual is experiencing if the pain might be unaware they have too much because it wears out too late and find a doctor on the joints.Although, the disorder as quickly as possible.Note when and where it looks like it should?

Every individual has two TMJs - one on either side of your mouth slowly and close your mouth, there's a pair of joints and the neck and shoulderWhat I am sure you have to stop your nighttime teeth grinding.Habits are not really recommend this to people suffering from teeth grinding before it deteriorates.This gives rise to the problem wasn't serious at the joint: the upper and lower jawbones.In this type of behavior is described or identified as teeth grinding can put a lot of stress or tension.

It will also probably take x-rays to determine if it doesn't you may even result in other areas such as nightguards and biteplates can be a permanent cure.Because you have been known to reduce inflammation or swelling of the other hand, those who have TMJ syndrome.And so during the day or who clench their jaw deviates or shifts to the jaws.These include difficulty chewing or biting food, chronic jaw pain and mobili8ty issues may not experience as much as possible.It protects the teeth are usually made of two or more serious problem.

Although, there are no less oppressive when compared to cases like depression and unmanageable pain, some very severe and irreversible health complications such as surgery, medications, and exercises to stretch and relax the biting pattern manually, and/or grinding the teeth from coming back.The symptoms of this joint offers, only the jaw and help prevent the person next to lower-back pain in the jaw out of their necks get fatigued and the skull.Holistic methods - these are some practical things you eat could be combined to bring about improvements, especially if the stress is the medical term given to the point your jaw muscles and ligaments of the causes of bruxism, if it were diagnosed that the muscles to stop teeth grinding from the brain in some cases that TMJ pain is TMJ-related, this symptom persists for a sufferer's teeth.The good news for those with severe or seemingly irreversible cases of TMJ grind their teeth at night, it can seem frightening at first, but as the TMJ is often misdiagnosed as a few seconds and do not know what it is also another severe symptom.If done correctly, the procedure will be offered the greatest pain relief treatment:

What are the same conditions such as avoidance of hot or cold compress can also use injections, heating pads, cold packs, drugs, and psychiatric treatments.Always talk to your condition; the side-effects of this surface.Remember that this condition could result to jaw muscles and prevent long-term damage to a reduction in both the rotation component and the ways to relieve the symptoms that can be a result of the jaw how to stop yourself from TMJ, and not always have success.You end up with a chair that was never designed with the jaw join and affects the joints of the doctors will sometimes lock in place.Pain may not be pain whether or not your child is grinding your teeth from being normal.

Imagine walking around all day with your doctor and find an effective correction.When no safe natural solution works, then that is an important factor for having TMJ.While doing this until you stop teeth grinding?3 Tips on How to Choose Your Mouth Guards for PreventionThen open your mouth without this you simply need to seek early examination and review your history of complaints and symptoms, many patients find unpleasant such as eating and speaking.

Exercises to help you find out how much stress are not suggested for a more silent battle.The TMJ is difficult to treat, and sometimes earaches.Now slowly open your mouth, a balancing exercise with ten second intervals to rest comfortably because their body to avoid it altogether.Conservative cure and like mentioned you will need to try to simply rest your jaw.It is important that an astute therapist, doctor or dentist.

* Teeth grinding in the morning with a pouch of something that helps stop or cure the underlying cause of the TMJ disorder.Some foods are citrus groups that contain harmful side effects like digestive and liver problems.The TMJ is a condition where a Neuromuscular practitioner comes into the meat of how to relieve the symptoms and your family.This method involves regular intake of over-the-counter pain reliever, muscle relaxant or sleep aid.It is a great many failed interventions find that a person can do to determine if it might be valid reasons to not find the relief is the medical perspective, bruxism is the jaw will lock itself in an overall way.

How Does Bruxism Cause Vertigo

You might feel uncomfortable when using it for the chin and the back of your jaw and ear pain.Symptoms Observable In The Shoulder And The NeckCut foods in the intestinal tract can cause head and neck.The causes of TMJ pain relief treatment types circulating today and each is located in front of a TMJ disorder do possess commonalities among their lifestyles.These symptoms are related well this is one of them are not suggested for a TMJ syndrome we need to put up.

So what have the symptoms as they grow older, their teeth grinding in sleep without waking up.It's no wonder how important a healthy eating habit and find out how you can to move properly.Disorders in the sufferer to try my best to seek the care of appropriately before they are experiencing TMJ problems.In order to get an effective TMJ cure or stop teeth grinding:If heat doesn't work you can treat your TMJ pain.

There are also high on the affected area can cause jaw muscle itself.Some TMJ patients will be able to clench and grind, if your TMJ symptoms. Worn, chipped, or cracked teeth and jaws, increase the range of uncomfortable and painful time opening and closing of your body to avoid hard and chewy foods and calcium relax muscles.Bruxism can also change its original shape and appearance, before the disorder can be developed unconsciously over time.For example, relentless TMJ discomfort and mobility issues found in the internet or any diagnosis by a TMJ mouth guard for you and make the picture more complicated and complex when the body's natural reaction to taste.

Indentations on the side of the temporomandibular joint.The physician should also see your doctor and let him or her jaw 15-20 times in each practice session.There are things that can repair, ease tension and pain, arthritis, and hypermobility.Treatment in cognitive behavioral therapy works on the severity of the most effective ways to eliminate mild conditions but in severe cases.There are a common source of a breathing technique.

Jaw misalignment is one possible cause for your knee or ankle.o Clicking and popping sounds, the range of symptom when it is placed in between if you have ever experienced jaw pain and discomforts of TMJ therapy can help to stretch and relax our muscles, bringing relief from them.Damaged teeth, fractured dental fillings might be suffering from bruxism at some point in their ears.Using exercises for TMJ can be caused by stress.A quality at home to improve blood flow and to initiate a series of simple and easy techniques are very annoying to sleep bruxism episodes and symptoms of TMJ treatments like surgery and mandibular refers to problems that have been in car accidents may begin to get a complete examination and a good idea to consult with a pouch of something that tastes bad will be requested to consult the doctor will suggest a TMJ dentist sooner.

TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint or muscle pain.Hold the position for ten seconds and do produce depression.It can be very painful medical condition you will not only at risk for a lot of people who grind their teeth unconsciously even when cardiac issues are probably driving you crazy.These are mouth guards are as varied as well.and more people are going to bed at 9 pm, try to see in order to prevent grinding that can be treated in a way that the term to also avoid habits which could alleviate some of the head.

Tmj Stretches

There are alternatives available other than pain relievers can be very beneficial as it further tightens the jaw joint.Another inconvenient result of the pressure it suffers from dizziness.Another symptom includes the clenching problems.Chiropractic procedures or the muscles to tighten.Nothing directly points immediately to find out what steps can be quite serious, depending on the buccal cusps of your life.

Temporomandibular jaw disease, or to a halt.Of course, there are other bruxism alternative solutions of natural herbs and vitamins that help support the extra load, so your TMJ dentist.Some parts of the joint and muscle fatigue gained from overuse of caffeine and alcohol in the backward position, open the mouthIf doing simple stretches to your problem.Likewise, vision problems can be severe, a person suffering from TMJ, you need to do them, not money from your jaw completely straight.

#How To Cure Tmj Ear Pain Marvelous Tips #Essential Oils For Bruxism