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orteil42 · 9 months

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Cookie Clicker turns 10 today! Having outlived our enemies, let us celebrate with a fresh batch of announcements!

🍪First of all, Cookie Clicker is 40% off on Steam this week! The perfect gift for your loved and/or hated ones! (the web version is still free forever but you don't get Steam achievements or music by C418!)

🍪Secondly! The mobile version has been lagging behind the browser game for years and is in dire need of an update. I've been dedicating most of my time recently to bringing its content up to par! Here's a progress report:

Compared to the current version, this update adds back 284 upgrades and 179 achievements from the web game, which leaves 83 upgrades and 94 achievements still unimplemented plus a good amount of heavenly upgrades. I am determined to close that gap!

Seasons and the pet dragon are currently partially implemented. These are complicated, compound features with side-effects in all kinds of places so once the update gets an alpha release I'll likely be needing everyone's help to hunt for bugs and oversights. I'm being as thorough as possible but there's no way I didn't forget some obscure interplay somewhere!

I'm also updating the UI! Cookie Clicker's interface makes heavy use of woodwork, which is largely absent from the mobile version; I've been aiming to bring it back. Rather than recycling desktop assets, I'm looking to push the game's visual identity towards less "plain wooden boards" and more "victorian biscuit shop" (something I'd have liked to go for when I first made the game but didn't quite know how yet). Here's some early screenshots!

I'm using Blender for the new assets, I might make a more in-depth post about my process in the future. Please note that these are experimental and I'm still fiddling with the look! Once I'm happy with it I'll ideally be giving the desktop game a similar makeover.

This update will hopefully come out later this year and will likely involve multiple rounds of alpha. Once stable, future updates will focus on adding sugar lumps and as many of the minigames as possible.

🍪Thirdly: the Makeship grandma plushie is real and we're doing a giveaway! Please read this twitter post to enter. Note that if the launch campaign succeeds we've got other plushies in mind! Maybe a wrinkler?

🍪Fourthly - there was going to be a really cool announcement here but I've been informed I'm not yet at liberty to discuss it. It's sooooo cool tho trust me. things happening. u gotta take my word for it. tune in next time

🍪Lastly:

i've got enough dough for like, idk 50 more? mom's recipe. white+dark+milk chocolate. they're very good thank you

PS. thank you for playing with us all these years! odds are some of you reading this have been here since the very start. that's mad to think about! Opti and I couldn't have done this for 10 whole years without all of you hyping us up. i want to see if we can do 10 more. get real freaky with it

#cookie clicker

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permanentswaps · 7 days

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Rings in Rio

Marcelo’s POV:

Under the scorching sun of Rio de Janeiro, I found myself captivated by the pulsating energy of the city. My husband Valentin and I had been dreaming of this vacation for months, longing to escape Brasilia and just hang out by the beach.

As we walked along the ocean, the gentle breeze carried the scent of salt and sunscreen. I held Valentin's hand tight, savoring the warmth of his touch against my skin. I couldn't help but feel thankful to be sharing this moment with someone as amazing as him.

You see, I came out later in life – about a decade ago – when I was in my 40s. It hadn't been an easy journey. But meeting Valentin changed everything. We first crossed paths about five years ago – he was a vibrant 27-year-old then. I still remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I was attending a gallery opening, feeling out of place among the younger crowd, when our eyes met across the room.

Valentin approached me with a smile that lit up his face, his confidence and charm drawing me in immediately. We struck up a conversation that flowed effortlessly, as if we had known each other for years. He was unlike anyone I had ever met – bold, unapologetically himself, and utterly captivating. And from that moment on, we were inseparable.

I'll never forget the day he proposed to me, his eyes shining with excitement as he got down on one knee against the backdrop of a rushing river.

His confidence was magnetic, a trait I wished I possessed. We exchanged vows two years ago, surrounded by friends and family who celebrated our love with us.

But despite the happiness we shared, there were moments when envy crept in. Seeing Valentin so carefree and liberated reminded me of the youth I never had, the years spent hiding my true self from the world. But even in those moments of insecurity, Valentin's love was a constant source of comfort.

As we walked along the beach, we stumbled upon a run down ring kiosk. Intrigued by the display of colorful trinkets, Valentin tugged at my hand excitedly.

"Look at how cool these are, babe," he said, his eyes lighting up. I couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm.

"Ah, you have a nice eye," the shopkeeper remarked, his gaze lingering on the rings in Valentin's outstretched hand. "These ones are actually quite special – they're enchanted."

Valentin's eyes sparkled with excitement as he turned to me. "Did you hear that, Marcelo? Enchanted rings! How cool is that?"

I raised an eyebrow skeptically, exchanging a glance with Valentin. "Enchanted, huh? What kind of enchantment?" I asked.

The shopkeeper chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, you see, these rings have the power to grant the wearer's deepest desires," he explained, his voice low and mysterious. "They can bring love, luck, and even transformation."

Valentin's grin widened, his fingers tracing the intricate patterns etched into the surface of the rings. "That sounds incredible," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "What do you think, Marcelo? Should we get a pair?"

And as I watched him try on one of the rings, the metal glinting in the sunlight, I couldn't help but think about how hot they looked on him.

I hesitated for a moment, but as I looked into Valentin's eyes, I felt a surge of warmth wash over me. "Why not?" I said with a smile, reaching out to take his hand. "It could be fun."

After paying for the rings, the shopkeeper handed us a small book which he said explained the rings’ power.

---

Later that night, back in the comfort of our hotel room, we eagerly opened the small book the shopkeeper had given us. Its weathered pages revealed ancient symbols and cryptic instructions, which seemed more like a page out of a fantasy novel than anything grounded in reality.

"It says here that if we trade the rings – which we've been wearing all day – it will swap us into the other's body," Valentin exclaimed, his eyes alight with excitement as he scanned the text.

I couldn't help but arch an eyebrow skeptically. The idea seemed far-fetched, to say the least. But the thought of slipping into Valentin's skin, of experiencing life from his perspective, was undeniably enticing.

"Wait, we should totally try this, babe," he urged, his enthusiasm infectious.

I hesitated, unsure of what to make of it all. "I don't know, Valentin," I replied, trying to downplay my own excitement. "It's probably just some silly myth."

But Valentin was undeterred. With a confident smirk, he reached for the rings, his fingers brushing against mine. As we exchanged them, a strange sensation washed over me, like a surge of electricity pulsing through my veins.

Before I could react, I felt myself being pulled, as if my very soul was being forced out of my body and into his. The world spun around me, colors swirling into a dizzying blur, until finally, everything came to a halt.

As I blinked away the disorientation, I found myself staring at my old body – now inhabited by Valentin's spirit. My heart fluttered with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, unsure of what this newfound experience would bring.

But amidst the confusion, there was something else stirring within me – a primal, raw desire that I couldn't ignore. Seeing my old body through Valentin's eyes, I couldn't help but feel a surge of attraction towards it. The familiar contours and features that I had grown accustomed to suddenly seemed incredibly alluring.

Valentin, on the other hand, wasted no time in admiring his new form. He approached the mirror with a confident stride, his movements fluid and graceful. As he stood before the mirror, I watched him subtly flex his muscles, the faint ripple of strength beneath his skin, and run his fingers along his jawline, his touch gentle yet possessive.

With a nod towards the door, he turned to me. "Well Valentin, what do you say we go hit the town?" he suggested, his eyes twinkling with anticipation.

---

Valentin’s POV:

As Marcelo and I strolled along the sun-drenched beaches of Rio, his hand tightly clasped in mine, I was overcome with gratitude for the man by my side. Marcelo wasn't just my husband; he was my anchor, my sanctuary amidst life's tumultuous waves.

We first met five years ago, an encounter that forever changed my life for the better. Marcelo's presence was like a beacon of warmth and wisdom. Despite the age gap between us, he welcomed me into his heart with a kindness and understanding I had never felt before.

Marcelo often complained about his age, lamenting the passing years and the toll they took on his body. But to me, he was perfect. With his salt-and-pepper hair and chiseled features, he had a timeless charm that I found irresistible. Marcelo took impeccable care of his body, maintaining a level of fitness and vitality that men half his age would envy.

However, while Marcelo exuded a quiet strength and maturity that commanded respect, beneath the surface lay a well of insecurities and doubts. There were moments when his gaze lingered on younger men, a wistful longing flickering in his eyes. When that happened, all I wanted to do was infuse him with the confidence and self-assurance he truly deserved.

That's why when we stumbled upon the rings, I was so happy. The prospect of swapping bodies with Marcelo, even temporarily, could give him the chance to see himself like I saw him – strong, resilient, and sexy as hell.

Exchanging the rings, I couldn't suppress a thrill of excitement. Marcelo's body certainly didn't disappoint; his rugged features and well-defined muscles radiated an undeniable magnetism that was impossible to ignore. I couldn't help but admire the way my new face looked in the mirror, the sharp contours and strong jawline making even Marcelo in my body flustered.

---

We made the decision to remain swapped for the duration of our vacation, and I must admit, I was thoroughly enjoying the experience.

The change in people’s perception was undeniable. While I had always been accustomed to the occasional flirtatious glance and admiring looks when I inhabited my former body – I'll admit, I was quite the catch – the response now was on a whole other level.

Hotel concierges greeted me with deference and respect, always calling me sir. And waitstaff at restaurants fell over themselves to attend to my every need, no doubt aware that I was the one who would be footing the bill.

The intimacy we shared that week was also nothing short of extraordinary. Marcelo's enthusiasm and skill in the bedroom were unmatched, and he was an expert in pleasuring his former body, leaving me breathless and craving more.

He had always been a power bottom, and even in my former body, he wanted to keep it that way. Railing my former body, I was consumed by arousal, the sensation of my cock buried deep within him sending waves of pleasure radiating through every fiber of my being.

But it wasn't just the physical pleasure that fueled my desire; it was the profound sense of control and dominance that I felt, commanding Marcelo's massive body with an authority that bordered on exhilarating.

---

Two nights before our departure, with the gentle glow of moonlight casting a soft sheen over our hotel room, I found myself poring over the pages of the book once more. My fingers traced the intricate patterns etched into the pages, searching for answers, for a solution.

And then, there it was – nestled within the text like a hidden gem waiting to be discovered:

"After transformation, should one be without the rings during the climax of sexual intercourse, the transformation shall be forever sealed."

I glanced over at Marcelo, sleeping peacefully beside me, his features softened in the gentle glow of moonlight. He looked so content, so at peace in my body, unaware of the decision that weighed heavily on my mind. And yet, as I gazed upon him, a sense of clarity washed over me. I reached out and gently brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, before leaning over and kissing it, saying “I love you”.

As I put the book down, a surge of determination swept through me. This was it – my chance to make our swap permanent.

---

Marcelo’s POV:

Laying in bed on our last night in Rio, the cool breeze from the open windows danced across my skin, carrying with it the scent of the sea. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness at the thought of leaving this vibrant city behind. But at the same time, I couldn't deny that I had enjoyed every moment of our vacation, relishing the opportunity to experience life from Valentin's perspective.

Being in Valentin's body had been nothing short of exhilarating. I felt a newfound sense of youthfulness coursing through my veins, an energy and vitality that I hadn't experienced in years. And the sex – well, let's just say it was beyond amazing. Valentin knew exactly how to work my body, his confidence and expertise leaving me breathless and wanting more.

But amidst the excitement and the pleasure, a question that had been gnawing at the back of my mind. A few days ago, I stumbled upon a passage in the book that would seal me in this body forever. I hadn't told Valentin about it, but the temptation to make our swap permanent was undeniable. It wasn’t fair, but the thought of returning to my old body – to the limitations and insecurities that came with it – filled me with dread.

---

Fiddling with the ring between my fingers, I carefully placed it in the bedside drawer. Just then, the bathroom door swung open, and Valentin emerged, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm halo around him. His eyes sparkled with mischief as he padded towards the bed, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Hey there, handsome," he purred, his voice sending a shiver down my spine. As he slipped under the covers beside me, I couldn't help but marvel at the effortless charm and confidence that radiated from him. I smiled in response, my heart fluttering at the sight of him.

Pressing me down onto the bed and entwining his fingers with mine, Valentin’s strength and dominance overwhelmed me. With each thrust, I lost myself in the raw intensity of our connection. But amidst the haze of pleasure, a realization dawned upon me – Valentin wasn't wearing his ring either.

The revelation sent a jolt of electricity coursing through my veins. Could it be possible he wanted this too? Valentin's lips found their way to my neck, planting tender kisses along my skin. "I love this body so much," he murmured against my skin, his breath warm against my neck. "I don't think I can ever go back."

My heart swelled with a mixture of love and desire, knowing that he cherished my body as much as I cherished his. Smiling softly, I ran my bare hands down his back. "I took off the ring too, babe," I whispered. "I want your body now and forever."

A playful smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he met my gaze, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. Without a word, he quickened the pace, driving us both to the brink of ecstasy once more.

As the intensity of our passion peaked, I surrendered myself fully to the moment, losing myself in the raw, unbridled pleasure. With a primal roar, he released his load into me, our souls locking in our new bodies.

Basking in the afterglow, I felt a profound sense of fulfillment wash over me. With Valentin's strong hand tracing lazy patterns across my bare chest, I couldn't help but smile, knowing that this, right here, was all I could have ever asked for.

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leandra-winchester · 5 days

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The Tommy timeline is making me insane

We know the 911 writers are REALLY crap about timelines. I mean, just within the Eddie Begins episode there are several dates that just don't add up. I love those writers, but they can't even count to 10, lol.

Tommy was never supposed to come back, so him being in his late 20s-ish in 2005 when Chim joins the 118 was of no consequence, but now that Tommy is back, that makes it really difficult to say how old he really is.

Some people have speculated that he's 45, but I find that too old. Lou was born in Nov 1984, which makes him 39 currently. I could see Tommy being 1-2 years older than that AT MOST.

So let's say Tommy was born in early 1983 and go from there.

He would have started school at 6.5 and finished HS at 18 years old in 2001. Which means he could have joined the army that year and started training to be a helicopter pilot.

There's a program called "From Street to Seat", also sometimes called "High school to Flight School", so that is a possibility. Training would have been around 2 - 2.5 years until he'd achieved the rank of Warranty Officer and be a fully trained helicopter pilot in late 2003. After that, you have to enlist for TEN years at minimum to repay them getting you through flight school.

At that point, the US had entered the war in Afghanistan and just started the one in Iraq.

Tommy could have been stationed anywhere in the US, or been deployed to one of those countries, or at first, as a still very young officer, been deployed to an allied country like Germany. In the early 2000s, there were many bases in Germany where US soldiers were stationed, only serving short missions in Afghanistan or Iraq. So that's an option if we don't want him to be permanently stationed inside a war zone.

Now, how did young Tommy leave the army early so he ended up being a firefighter just two years later?

Well, there's always medical discharge, but if it was for any injury, him already being a member of the team (and by the looks of it no longer a probie) in 2005 is a bit tight. He'd have to recover from his injury, then apply, then be accepted, do the basic training at the academy (18 weeks) and his probie year... so yeah, that's really a very tight timeline.

Another option would have been Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Back then, army members could not be actively asked if they're gay and therefore fired for it, but if they voluntarily disclosed/confirmed it, they would be kicked out.

If he was lucky (and probably the version I'm going for in my fic), and had a very lenient superior officer, he might be offered medical discharge for depression. Usually, that can get you out of the army pretty quickly.

So, to recap:

Born between Jan/June 1983

Finished high school summer 2001, joined the army

Finished flight school in fall 2003, was deployed somewhere or in service in the US

Found out/discharged in early 2004

Started LAFD academy in summer/fall 2004

Started his probie year end of 2004

Just finished it when Chimney joined in (should be late) 2005, at now 22 years old.

Still an incredibly tight timeline, and I wish Chim joining had been more like 2007 or so, but alas. It works.

You are welcome.

And I need to lie down. God I hate inconsistent timelines, lol.

Oh and I just looked it up, and apparently you're only a probie for 6 months at the LAFD, so I guess that makes it a little easier.

I mean, if you shift things around a little, you could even make him only 40 now, born in summer 1983 instead of early. Maybe he was initially gifted and able to enroll in school at just barely 6 years old.

#Tommy Kinard #911

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attorneys-against-court-violence · 2 months

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You know you've written an effective & terrifying villain when he's scarier OUTSIDE the court than in.

In court, while Manfred does end up bending a lot of the rules, there are still rules when working behind the bench. The Judge still has enough power to refuse his demands/objections (even if he's too intimidated to try most of the time). He plays the game well and you've seen him do it twice, both of them requiring Maya or Larry to save Phoenix's ass and the latter getting a Guilty verdict before the Judge retracts his decision. But Manfred is still beholden to the rules of the game and not even he has total control over what said rules are.

Out of court? No such luck, buddy. No one's going to kick him out the room for being in contempt or anything so petty. He can get away with anything provided he isn't caught. You know what he's willing to stoop to when he's limited by the rules of the game and even techinically won at one point - just what is he willing to do when there are no such restrictions?

That initial terror is followed by an insulting deflation; he doesn't even remember your name. You, the lawyer who managed to put up a fight against him for two days and dodged a Guilty verdict, yet he doesn't even recognise you when you're both face-to-face. All that hard work? All those last-second narrow triumphs? Those were nothing to him. Edgeworth is going to be convicted for Hammond's death or DL-6, no matter how hard some mere defense attorney and his assistant fight against it. Why even acknowledge their existence when they're practically redundant? Manfred has 40 years of precident on his side and you just have a short string of lucky breaks. You're challenging a god with a pointy twig. Good luck with that!

It helps that he's an absolute unit; the mere physical presence is enough to assure you that you aren't winning any altercation with him if it ever comes to it. He just stands there at attention, facing directly towards you with his eyes locked into yours the whole time (though not calling attention to it as much as Gant's infamous stare). There's just no way around it; you have to look this undefeatable giant dead in the eye in the single worst place you could have bumped into him and give him every reason under the sun to stop you in your tracks.

All of that manages to make him pulling out a NON-LETHAL weapon meant for self-defense a dreadful turn. What's more, it plays into his cunning and foresight as well; there won't be a track of evidence that he attacked anyone in the evidence room so there's no point in trying to press him on it or - heaven forbid - try to get that evidence back. The letter especially he could easily destroy without a trace. The only reason he could even be taken down was Maya snatching the bullet from him without his notice - a clue that doesn't hold any relevance until she nudges Phoenix to make the then grand leap of logic towards accusing Manfred of the murder, which requires an unorthodox explaination of where the second bullet went and an even wilder way of proving its existence.

The encounter with Manfred in the police records room sticks out in my mind for how it sets a man who's terrifying when restrained into a place where anything - from being punched with bourgey knuckle-dusters to being surrounded by mafiosos - could happen to you. It's the most intimidating the living legend had ever been in that case. Other villains will later surpass him by threatening us from inside detention or even beyond the grave, but Manfred's simple yet effective method of shaking you to your core is too memorable to discount because later villains get more elaborate with their schemes.

#ace attorney #manfred von karma #turnabout goodbyes #ace attorney spoilers

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happyk44 · 7 months

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Thinking about Frank telling Percy that after the war he had to ask Pluto's permission to date Hazel. The war gave him some leeway and reason for not doing so, but after it ended, Pluto showed up after a few days and asked Frank why he had not requested permission.

Percy is kinda surprised Hazel doesn't look annoyed. Sure she's from the 40's but he thought permission to marry was the common request. Wasn't permission to date outdated, even by 40's standards?

And Hazel shakes her head and explains that historically a lot of children of Pluto/Hades would be courted by other demigods as a trick or a trap. If a child of the Underworld asked her out, permission would be implicitly granted. If a mortal asked her out, permission would be implicitly granted.

But a non-Chthonic demigod, especially an Olympian one and one of such high rank like Mars, requires permission so Pluto or one of her siblings, or even Proserpina, may assess that this person is someone safe. Even friends can betray you in the end, she notes and Percy hates every single word of what she's said.

Years later when he comes to terms with his feelings for Nico, he agonizes about it. He knows Nico likely won't give a shit if he doesn't have permission, and Hades won't do anything to Percy besides maybe yell at him if he refuses to ask because killing him would upset Nico, but if he's going to date Nico he'd like to be on somewhat good terms with Hades for once. Neutral terms, even.

Frank may have lucked out with near immediate acceptance - why, wouldn't he? Hazel was his world. He would rather die than hurt her - but Percy was a thorn in Hades' side from the moment they met, and he was well aware getting permission would be a long process to go through. Probably some more stupid quests to prove himself.

And he'd do them. He hate it but Nico was worth it.

But part of the reason of living at the Nome these days was to stop having to do quests. To stop have gods interfering in his life to the point of standing on the ledge of the apartment roof and staring down at black asphalt and garbage bags shoved into a corner.

But Nico is worth it. And Percy - well, he'd like to think he's safe for him now. That he won't hurt him accidentally anymore. That they're good. And he's pretty sure Nico likes him back. When he visits, he always gravitates towards him. Sits by him when he's finished training with Walt. Takes him outside with Carter or Zia so he doesn't develop agoraphobia, and holds his hand the whole time so he "can't run away". He strokes the back of Percy's hand every time they're standing still.

He blushed when that one lady thought they were a couple. Didn't correct her either. Didn't ask why Percy didn't correct her. Didn't let go of his hand.

He hasn't interacted with a Greek god in the last four years. At least not in person. His dad and step-mom send letters every few months through Hermes, who hands them off to Nico to deliver. They're nice letters. Hoping he's doing well. Updating him on how the castle repairs are doing. Telling him about quiet spots in the ocean he can visit at a certain time if wherever he is doesn't have access. He's used a couple of them, with Sadie lazing about on a shitty rowboat far above his head.

It's nice to just lay there on the sand. The first time he'd been worried it was a trap. That some sea god would whisk him away for some adventure that would leave him more torn than he already was. But Phillip had sat with him, wand at the ready, his penguins casually swimming above them and it had been fine. No sea gods, no sea monsters, no animals other than the penguins.

So Hades will be the first Greek god he sees in person. It reminds him too much of his first quest. While Ares has been the first, Hades had been the second and Percy had stood in front of him, feeling too small, everything at risk, and someone he loved dearly on the line. If he failed then, he might never get her back.

If he failed now, Hades might enforce ways to keep them apart. To make sure Percy couldn't ignore his lack of permission and date Nico anyway.

What terrified him the most about not earning permission was the implication he was still dangerous to other people, to Nico. He was sure he was safe now. He didn't freak out at the little kids. He didn't wake up screaming. His gut instinct wasn't to pull Riptide out at every single loud noise. He didn't dissociate as much as he used to. He wasn't on edge all the time. He trusted the other people around him.

He didn't want to die nearly as much as he used to.

But what if it meant nothing? Therapy, medication, avoiding the things that caused him stress - what if it wasn't enough? Yeah, he has attacked Nico once but that was years ago, Percy had been extremely stressed out, and Nico hadn't even cared about it when he apologized. It took him a few seconds to even remember what Percy was talking about.

Aside from that one instance, Percy liked to think he'd always been safe for Nico. But then he remembered Bianca and his gut churned viciously.

Still, Nico was worth it. Nico was something he wanted. He'd do it for him. He'd do a lot of things for him.

Grover stood with him at the entrance of the Underworld. Mrs. O'Leary was splayed out, catching the rays of sunlight and rumbling happily as Annabeth gave her a couple treats and belly rubs. She joined Percy's other side and pinched his arm.

He still loved her. He always would. Their relationship to each other wasn't something that could be killed off, even with the distance and Percy running away. Same with Grover. Either one of them could vanish for years at a time, and when they came back, it would be like no time passed at all. They were clicked into one another like a necklace with interlocking friendship charms.

"You got this," Grover said with a clap to Percy's back. His hand drew up to Percy's shoulder and squeeze. "And we'll be right there with you."

"Or just outside the door," Annabeth adds. She flashes her wrist, a shiny watch on it. "And I have a battering ram if needed."

Grover's face went pinched. "That's not helpful."

"It's realistic!" Annabeth argued. "When has he ever come out here peacefully?"

"He's only been here twice!" Grover said in a gritted whispered shout. "You need at least three times to indicate a pattern."

The two of them stepped back ever so slightly so they weren't shouting through Percy, and continued their bickering on what constituted a pattern indication and whether or not it was helpful or supportive to indicate a fight might break out.

The noise helped clear the sound of his own voice in his head. He zeroed in on Grover's words clashing against Annabeth's opposing side, and breathed steadily. The two of them knew him so well. Hopeful realism.

"Guys," he said as clear as he could.

They went silent immediately and drew back to his side. Grover looped his arm around Percy's, pulling him close in by the elbow. Annabeth squeezed his hand once before letting go.

"You ready?" she said.

He nodded and reached for the doorknob. "Let's do this."

#percico #percy jackson #annabeth chase #frazel #grover underwood #happy talks pjo #my writing #my fanfic

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allemantheias · 8 months

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Repaying them for saving you. Part 1.

Getting spit-roasted by Alejandro and Rudy.

How you thank Alejandro and Rudy for saving you from cartel members? You let them spit-roast you.

Status: finished. 03-12-2023. [Part 1.] Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Read this on AO3. ~ ~ Masterlist. ~ ~ Word count: 583.

Warnings: mild torture and blood. Abduction by cartel, but they don't get far. Their dead bodies and blood are mentioned a few times. Sexual themes after being rescued. 18+ year age gap (22&40). Other: no use of y/n and no gender/pronouns. Neutral bodyparts/genitals. All italicised dialogue is meant to be Spanish. Short story. Please let me know if I missed anything.

You are a young adult, some cartel members intimidate you into the trunk of their car and you cram yourself in the small space. One closes the door on you, hurting your knee. Your throat burns from the cut they gave you, as a reminder that you had the pleasure to meet them and highly likely a foretaste of what's to come. They threatened to cut your throat, but just made a deep enough cut to have it bleed heavily. Your hand is pressed firmly on the wound to try to stop the bleeding. It's all over your shirt, hands and forearms. The windows are tinted so dark, you have a hard time recognising landmarks, even more because it's later in the evening and the sun is going down. The street and road lanterns don't help. On their way to wherever they planned to take you, they hit a roadblock by Fuerzas Especiales.

"Don't you dare make a sound." A cartel member sternly warns.

Two heavily armoured men in tactical gear ask your abductors to step out of the vehicle and put their hands on the hood. Through the darkened windows you see other Fuerzas Especiales soldiers watch closely, are unable to see you through that side of the window. They probably know these three guys are cartel. They have their suspicions at least.

"Affirmative. Move in." The bearded soldier closest to you says into his radio. The other soldiers watching draw their weapons on the cartel while moving to the car. "Cooperate and no one has to get hurt."

"You won't take us that easily." The cartel members grab the pistols that they hid on their bodies and immediately start shooting. You cover your ears against the noise. The gunfire stops abruptly and the trunk of the car opens, revealing one of the two men in tactical gear on the other side.

"Are you okay?" He stretches out his hand, for you to grab for assistance to get out of the tiny space. You take it and pull yourself out of the trunk. It's good to be able to stretch your legs again. His eyes glide over your body. You're not sure if that's because he wants to know if you're hurt other than the cut or he takes this chance to obviously check you out. You take this time to do the same to him. He has the prettiest dark brown eyes, to drown in, hair slightly curly and he looks to be in his early forties. A very handsome man. His eyes get caught on the cut on your throat, it's still bleeding. "Did they hurt you?" Your face heats up and you look away. That makes you spot the bodies of the cartel members and the blood around them and on the car. They're dead! Your body freezes at the sight of them, makes you audibly sick. The man's gloved hand forces you to look back at him. "Eyes on me, pretty. Don't take them off." While keeping constant eye contact, he leads you to their armoured trucks with a hand on your lower back. Whenever you try to look back at the bodies, he turns your head back with his hand. "Look at me." He sits you in the back of the truck on the outside of the blockage and talks to the other guy who came up to the cartel's car.

"Alejandro, let's go back to base, the other Vaqueros can handle the rest of the shift."

#alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x original female character #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas x you #allemantheias #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x original female character #rodolfo parra x reader #rodolfo parra x you #age difference #age different relationships #spit roasted by alerudy

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majorbaby · 1 year

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40 years since we first said Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

On my last rewatch the brief shot of BJ and Mulcahy watching ducks on the water really struck me. I can't think of many scenes that actually show the characters observing the natural beauty of Korea. Mulcahy, who's just lost his hearing, is taking in the landscape with his remaining senses. BJ is the only person who knows, and so he shares this moment with him, in quiet solidarity. They could be anywhere, watching ducks on a pond. Of course we know they're in the war, and we're still looking at two of our cast members - but they're not looking at us, they're looking at Korea. This is one of the few times we got close to Korea being framed as more than just the setting of this show about Americans in a strange and faraway land, in a war that was later "forgotten". A real place, with real beauty and real life.

#mash #m*a*s*h #bj hunnicutt #francis mulcahy #goodbye farewell and amen #mash fanart #maybe nothing

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blubffsd · 1 year

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Hi baby! I want to make a request. (If that's okay with you)

Can you do something with Kylian where the reader asks him yo break up for like a few days because her two best friends are heartbroken, and she wants to "support" them. He at first is kind of mad, but then when she explains the situation, he's laughing and making jokes about it.

Pretty, pretty, please 🥹💜

— HELP ME

summary: where the reader wants to break up with Kylian to support her heartbroken friends.

note: thank u so much for requesting this, is so original and i loved it!! <3 hope u like it

Not less than two weeks ago, Leah (one of your best friends) came to your house crying telling you that her boyfriend for two years cheated on her with a co-worker. You really felt bad for her, since your friend was really in love that man and your heart broke to see her so badly.

During those days you and Camille, another of your best friends, comforted Leah and supported her so she could get over what happened.

But now Camille wasn't going to be very helpful since her boyfriend broke up with her, saying that he was insecure because he knew that she deserved someone better, which was completely lie, because you found out he had got a job in another city and didn't want to leave and move with your friend.

Now you three were sitting on your couch with a lot of ice cream watching "Five Feet Apart" while your friends were crying badly.

You heard the door open and you got up quickly to go and meet your boyfriend Kylian, who smiled at seeing you and wrapped you in a hug.

—I thought you'd come later, Ky.

—I should, now Achraf thinks I'm coming looking for my wallet, but I just came to see you. The girls are still here?

—Yes, they're in the living room.

Your boyfriend nodded and kissed you quickly, after whispering a "I love you" ran out of your house because of Hakimi's honking, because they were 40 minutes late for a friend's birthday.

You came back into your living room watching your friends cry much more than before, but they were no longer watching tv, now Camille had a picture of you and Kylian in her hands, in which you were in front of the Eiffel Tower, while your boyfriend was hugging you from behind kissing your cheek and you were smiling directly at the camera.

—You two are so fucking cute, Y/N. I'm jealous.

—Thank you, i guess.

Leah dry his tears and hugged one of the cushions of your couch, looking proud at you.

—It's good to know that one of us it's not miserable right know.

Camille nodded and left the photo above the shelf where she found it and try not to sobbe again.

You felt really bad for them and insulted yourself internally for not thinking about how bad they would feel when they saw all your photos with your partner everywhere while they cried for being single again.

—All right, so much crying for today. Y/N will contract the fever of sadness and failed loves if she keeps seeing us suffer.

Leah laughed a little and took her stuff and Camille did it too, both of them left your house thanking you for being there always.

You felt guilty watching your two best friends suffer for their ex-boyfriends while you were extremely happy with your relationship with Kylian.

You knew that had to be there for them and support them in the best way possible. And the only way you could think of at that moment was to accompany them in their pain, literally.

You waited until your boyfriend came home to talk to him about what you wanted to do.

You jumped in your seat when you felt the door to your house open, you saw Kylian smiling as he walked towards you.

—Amour, why haven't you gone to bed yet? It's late.

Your boyfriend took off his coat and headed for the stairs, expecting you to come with him.

—Can you sit here for a moment? We need to talk.

You saw how the expression on his face changed to a worried one and without saying a word he sat down next to you.

—We have to break up.

Kylian looked at you stunned, waiting, searching your face for any indication that you were lying and it was another of your jokes.

—I don't understand. Why? What happened? A few hours ago everything was fine, did I say something when I left that you didn't like? I did something?

—It's just that Camille and Leah are sad.

—Are they sad and want you to break up with me?

—No! It's that they are suffering and I don't want them to feel worse.

—And why the fact that we are together would make them feel worse?

You looked at him completely frustrated that he didn't understand what you meant.

—If you want to break up with me you could have at least thought of a credible reason.

—Listen to me, okay? Camille and Leah broke up with their boyfriends a few days ago and I want to support them by suffering with them.

Your boyfriend was silent for a few seconds and then he burst out laughing, he was even crying with laughter and you didn't understand why.

—Did you hear what did you say?

Kylian kept laughing for a few more minutes while you looked at him with crossed arms, not understanding what was funny.

—Why are you laughing? I'm being serious.

Your boyfriend tried to stay serious so you wouldn't get upset anymore but it was impossible.

—How would you feel if one of my friends broke up with his girlfriend and I broke up with you to feel the pain together?

You felt your cheeks turn red from the shame you felt, why did you think it was reasonable to do that?

—Oh my God, I'm so stupid.

Kylian burst out laughing again and you started laughing too.

—God, I love you so much even though you don't use even two neurons of your brain.

—Shut up, I thought it was okay to do it to understand how they felt.

—You could have listened to sad songs, watched movies, I don't know, many things, but break up with me? Did you want to feel the pain personally?

Your partner started laughing out loud for the third time and you knew it was going to be like that for a long time.

—Amour, did you know that Hakimi's wife is pregnant again?

You listened to your boyfriend while you were lying down hugging each other about to sleep.

—I didn't knew, I'm so happy for them.

Your boyfriend gave you a fleeting glance letting out little giggles.

—What happened?

Kylian cleared his throat, stopping laughing to stare at you trying to stay serious.

—I just thought you might want to join her in happiness by making a baby, you know, like with Camille and Leah.

He start laughing AGAIN and you couldn't take it anymore.

—I hate you so much.

note: this isn't even funny 💔 i did my best i swear

tags: @tlk-duskwood

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian x reader #mbappe imagine #mbappe x reader #mbappe one shot

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scarlettohairdye · 11 months

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*CW weight talk*

You know what you don't see people posting about much is their weight GAIN journey, so here's mine! On the left we have me in 2011 at the beginning of my burlesque career. On the right we have me last month in 2023, 12 years later and 30-40 pounds bigger.

I am bigger. I am very fine with that. It's a natural part of getting older, and trying to fight it would both NOT WORK and make me fucking miserable. I have old costumes that don't fit anymore, which is a bit sad, but I can make new ones!

I am still very much of a size that allows me thin privilege on a societal and medical level, but I see people out there in the world worried that five pounds will make them fundamentally unlovable, and I am here to tell you that forty pounds only made me hotter. Like, damn, the way my tits and ass have only grown in power? Incredible work on my part.

Kill the cop in your head that tells you you have to look a certain weigh or meet a certain number on a scale to be worth of respect and love! They're wrong! They're not allowed to be there!

(Oh, also: can't recommend enough that you get rid of your scale. I don't own one. The only reason I know that I weigh 30-40 pounds more than I used to is because I recently went to the doctor and asked when they weighed me since I was curious. 99% of the time I swan about completely unbothered. It's great!)

#weight gain #weight talk #dieting is a lie #diet culture is a lie #you deserve basic human respect at every size #anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to profit from your pain

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generic-sonic-fan · 2 months

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The Sonic Crew, 40 Years Later-

Just one of many possibilities, of course, but I challenged myself to imagine what Sonic's crew and Team Dark might look like when they're older. Long post beneath the cut:

Sonic

The one who changed the least

Still an absolute daredevil with a heart of gold

All that running and frequent injuries did a number on his knees and he started using knee braces and a cane/crutches in his late 20s

(it took him a while to be okay with this, but he's over that now)

(He can still run if needed, but he'll be hurting for a few days after.)

Gets his need for speed by racing cars, motorcycles, the Tornado, and by skydiving

Still LOVES helping people and spends a lot of time volunteering

Yes, he's still signing autographs

He's got a permanent home now, mostly to store the Tornado and his other vehicles. He took over Tails' workshop when the fox left for greener pastures and likes keeping the place fixed up.

He's been reading a lot more. Now that he's got a permanent place, his library collection is massive

He's just taking it one day at a time, man. Always has, always will

Tails

The one who changed the most

He owns a garage in the city now, with a sign on the door that says "Prower's inventions and tinker shop"

He always knew that he wanted to sell the things he made, but he had absolutely zero interest in the business side of things outside of running social media accounts

So he's gone indie! He's almost more of an artist and influencer than a world-class inventor, but don't let that fool you

He's still selling his patents to top companies and making a crapton of money

(he's the second most well-off of the friend group aside from Rouge.)

So how's he changed?

He's lost a lot of his childlike innocence, become increasingly more focused on people's perception of him and making online content

and ultimately, he chose technology over the outdoors

Sonic kinda knew that sort of thing was inevitable, but it still hurt when Tails decided to move to the big city and stop exercising as much

But he's very happy where he is and how he's living, and he and Sonic still catch up with each other frequently

Knuckles

Still guarding the Master Emerald!

But he's really learned how to do more with his life despite staying on one island for most of his time

Tails finally convinced him to install enough technology to keep him connected to the world below

Since then, Knuckles has become the number one expert on Echidna anthropology/archaeology in the world

He's written several books using speech-to-text technology

(it's been difficult work- he's not the best reader or writer, but he put the effort in and now he's a published author!)

When he's not writing or giving talks on Echidna culture over video call, he's still taking care of Angel Island, growing his own food, and making more discoveries about ancient Echidna culture. That much hasn't changed

Ever since the defeat of Eggman, he's more willing to take vacations off of Angel Island, but it's still a rare occurence

He usually notifies the friend group via group chat whenever he plans on coming down for a visit, often resulting in reunions

Amy

Amy absolutely "settled down" and opened the bakery she's always wanted to open

Unlike Tails, she LOVES the business side of things along with the actual baking

Her bakery is one of the most famous in the city she lives in now

She loves the thrill of commanding the kitchen staff and managing all the tasks that go into producing good pastries!

She also developed a love for children, and spoils any child in her vicinity rotten

And she has kids of her own, duh

She helps organize and moderate the group chat for the old friend group

And she loves coordinating visits/reunions

Her house is always open to anybody and everybody. She loves entertaining guests, especially if they're old friends

Her house is SO cute and homey it's almost overbearing

When her kids have kids she is going to be the sweetest grandma ever

Rouge

Already detailed in this post here!

Shadow

He's matured a lot, finally having enough wisdom to act as "the wise immortal"

He's become a nomad, sort of like how Sonic used to be, except he takes things at a much slower pace

(he retired from GUN and absolutely had a midlife crisis. this is the result)

He keeps diligent journals of every place he visits, food he tries, people he meets, and so on

He's picked up on Sonic's hobby of learning languages due to his travels

He's gotten much better at socializing with strangers but still prefers solitude

. . . but he still carries a phone on him and participates (albeit rarely) in the old friend group chat

(Rouge and Omega have him on speed dial, of course. He'll drop everything at their beck and call, even if it's a simple "I miss you")

He's gotten more interested in some more esoteric stuff that would've made his younger self cringe, like poetry and spirituality

The world knows him as a bit of cryptid, lol

Omega

Unlike Shadow, he's not retired!

He left GUN and became a freelance operator. Kind of a mercenary, except he has just a touch more discretion than that

(His version of a midlife crisis happened when he finally killed Eggman circa 30 or so years ago. Those were some messy, messy times, but since then he's made peace with his continued existence)

He is still Angry, of course, but he's a lot more chill than he used to be. Sometimes this throws Shadow for a loop.

His ego, though ever-present, has been tempered by age

Mostly because he kinda thinks his younger self was a bit cringe??

Mention the word "Meatbag" and he'll get stoically embarrassed about it

Anyways, he's also a nomad, traveling the world to do jobs and stopping by Tails' garage for repairs

He stops by Rouge's house often, and meets up with Shadow at least once a month

("YOU ARE THE FOOLISH ORGANICS THAT CONVINCED ME OF THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP. YOU ARE NOT GETTING RID OF ME SO EASILY.")

#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #e-123 omega #weird post! but it wouldn't leave my mind #I've been tinkering with this post since I answered that original ask with Rouge #idk man. as an adult fan it's kind of nice to imagine where they all end up

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compassionatereminders · 2 months

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You are young honestly! It'll be 3 years before you are even 30! Honestly most people find lasting love in their 30s or even later!! Plenty of people get a divorce in their 40s-50s and still find more people to share their life and love with! Some people in their 80s are still out there discovering new love after the death of a spouse!!

It's natural to have lost and loved the first "round" of people in your 20s (though ofc some people haven't gotten there yet, either the loving or the losing part), but it rarely lasts into the rest of your life, because the 20s are where we start to learn who we are.. so it's rare to find that everyone ended up growing in the same directions.. and often there are more toxic patterns in the relationship from both ends that have stuck around from when you didn't know who you wanted to be in a relationship etc etc. Generally, the newer "generations" of relationships are healthier than the older. Generally. Ofc there are a few rare examples of "high school sweethearts" who met when they're 17-21 and stay together for life, but it's so rare and often it can be rather toxic bc it ends up being based on thinking you couldn't do better or being afraid to try something else/not knowing who you are outside the context of the other person, and people get stuck in those types of relationships bc it's all they've ever known and they don't know if they can handle a breakup.

So like I don't mean it condescendingly but as someone in my late 30s who also lost "the love of my life" in my late 20s..twice.. I want to say in a fucked up way it can be a good thing. It teaches you that you can handle the loss, that you can get through that kind of a breakup. And that means you'll be way less likely to ever stick it out with someone who's not good for you in the future. And now you get to go out and slowly build up your circle again (it takes time.. be patient, they are out there).. and this time you have real, long-term relationship experience to build your choices and behaviour on ... To build a healthier, more stable relationship of tomorrow.

I wish you the best and hope this didn't come across wrong.. it's just things I think I could've used to hear back when I was younger..

No you're right honestly! I mean obviously none of the people who came and left in the last decade were the right people for me. And even though that hurts, I'm glad I was pushed to realize this and to want and wait for more. Because honestly speaking none of them actually turned out to be that great

#chat with kat

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keirou-kun · 3 months

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Rereading Nightwing: Year One and there's a section right at the front that's eating at me. Dick tells Bruce that he was late [to help with Clayface] due to Titans business, and that they'd just shut Brother Blood down for good [unfortunately the church is still there, but that's a problem for a later issue and they're not aware of that yet.]

Now, if you actually go back and read the New Teen Titans run from the 80s, you'll know exactly which plot this is; it's issues 40-41 [circa 1984; technically pre-Crisis but also the plotline immediately before The Judas Contract which was and from what I can tell remains Nightwing's 'official' public debut] and it basically involves the Titans trying to take down the Church of Blood again. Dick tries to go in undercover in the Church's homeland of Zandia and gets caught and brainwashed, and Blood tries to use him to kill the other Titans. It doesn't work, and Dick actually gets shot with some kind of energy-beam towards the end. So he's been out of the country, brainwashed, injured, comes home, sees the alert from Bruce, and immediately suits back up to get his ass to Gotham and help out.

Now, Bruce does not know any of the above happened; he just knows Dick didn't answer the beacon as fast as he maybe should have. There's already been friction between Dick and Bruce for a while now by this point; Dick's tired of being treated like a child, has been [rather successfully!] leading a team on his own for a good couple years at this point - a team which has literally saved the damn world by themselves, and knows better than to try for pity points with Bruce. So all he does is try to explain the basics of the Titans' latest mission, and Bruce shuts him down and snaps that Dick should have been at his side from the beginning. This, naturally, sparks another fight, which naturally does not end well, and the upshot of it all is that Bruce fires Dick and tells him to leave the Robin costume behind.

But I can't stop thinking about what Dick has just been through with his team. Wally has just retired for a bit, the whole Brother Blood mission that just went down and its brainwashing and Dick being already injured, and then Bruce giving him shit for not being dedicated enough to the cause and then firing him and forbidding him to be Robin…we don't actually get to see much of that argument, but Dick has never been the sort to throw his own troubles in someone else's face, so I can't imagine he'd bring up the injury/brainwashing. It's likely the argument focused more on his not wanting to be treated like a child, the fact that he has a team now Bruce and he's a leader and he can't be every-fucking-where at once and how dare you say he's not dedicated when this is literally his entire life and excuse him for looking out beyond Gotham City limits because there's a whole fucking world out there and honestly when these two get their blood up it just never ends well.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, it's just one more case of 'would things have been different, if Bruce had known the details?' Probably not, but you never know.

#Musings #dick grayson #dc comics #nightwing #i just have thoughts okay >>;;

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nevermindirah · 3 months

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Who talks to who, for how long and about what, in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince Bythewood?

I got curious and so I watched the movie taking a lot of timestamp notes. way back three and a half years ago now, I watched this movie for the first time bc I like gritty action movies, and it's a really good one of those. I'm still obsessed with it all this time later because it's full to the brim with well-drawn characters who have compelling relationships with each other, and boy howdy does the data show it.

I was especially curious about who spends how much time alone together on screen, so I coded all the scenes with that in mind, and I found some really interesting patterns in the breakdown of scenes where just two characters talk, where one character is the sole focus, and when three characters talk.

the winners of course are Nile and Andy, our dual protagonists, who spend 10% of the movie's total runtime alone together. they also spend a lot of time with our dual friendly antagonists, Booker and Copley. scenes featuring combinations of just these four characters make up 40% of the total runtime.

Joe and Nicky show up less in this analysis because they're side characters who mostly appear in group scenes, but wow are they richly drawn side characters. they're key players in all but two scenes where four or more named characters talk.

read on for many numbers and much analysis of what it all means!

Andy Nile 0:12:20 Nile Booker 0:06:00 Andy Booker Copley 0:05:22 Andy Booker 0:05:01 Andy Nile Booker 0:04:56 Nile Copley 0:04:18 Nile alone 0:04:07 Andy alone 0:03:31

Andy Celeste 0:02:49 Merrick Copley 0:02:41 Joe Nicky 0:02:24 Nile Dizzy Jay 0:01:33 Andy Quynh 0:01:31 Andy Nile Merrick 0:00:52 Booker alone 0:00:32 Copley alone 0:00:28 Nicky Kozak 0:00:27 Booker Quynh 0:00:21 Copley Keane 0:00:09

(the spreadsheet, if anyone's interested in digging deeper with me)

of the 12 min that our main characters are alone together on screen, almost fully half is super duper antagonistic:

4:26 is the kidnapping sequence

1:29 is their conversation outside after Nile's nightmare featuring the iconic "me and those three men in there will keep you safe" "like Quynh?"

and 7 seconds is Nile glaring daggers at Andy after walking over all those bodies in the church

the other half breaks down like this:

2:14 is them connecting over their mortal families — where Andy makes Nile give her phone back at the end

1:45 is Nile telling Andy she's not doing this, that she's going back to her family — Andy pushes with "we'd do the same for you" but then relents and gives Nile the car

50 seconds of them gearing up for the last segment of the fight — Nile tries to get Andy to wear a bulletproof vest, she jokes around with "is this gonna be like the last signal?" — it's operations-focused but there's a real warmth between them by this point in the movie (this scene starts at 1:41:45, just 13 min before the credits roll)

and 1:29 of Andy looking at Nile like she hung the moon (which, extremely valid and relatable!) and Nile saying that the time Andy's got left "you're gonna spend it with us"

Nile has an uninterrupted 4:18 sequence with Copley that speed runs the same general shape of her arc with Andy, hella antagonistic to teamwork, though the latter here is more of a professional camaraderie than the real warmth we see Nile develop for Andy.

in this context Nile's arc with Booker is remarkably different. their first scene alone together is 1:11 in total, intercut with Andy killing mercs elsewhere in the church, and it's sort of their only scene with friction between them. Booker keeps telling Nile to wait for the signal without explaining what that means, annoyingly continuing Andy's grand tradition of not fucking answering Nile's reasonable questions, ugh. though another way of framing this is of course that he's too busy packing her a change of clothes while showing off his tits for her. as I noted in a previous meta, the end of this sequence is the one time Booker lies to Nile (claiming he doesn't know who the mercs are when he has at least a basic idea, though we don't know for sure whether Copley involved him in this specific plan).

after this Nile and Booker have two more scenes alone together and they're both extended conversations: 3:14 for their conversation alone in the cave after Andy leaves, and 1:18 when Nile joins Booker on the balcony outside the bar. both of these conversations are remarkably intimate for how little these characters have interacted beforehand. remember, 6:02 total of Nile and Andy alone together with heavy animosity (Andy shot Nile in the head ffs!) before things between them started to warm up. granted, the conversation where they first start to warm to each other is right after Nile's cave scene with Booker and Andy's scene with Celeste, so an argument could be made that this was the point in the movie where Nile started to feel ready to open up to the other immortals generally and her first one-on-one conversation once she got there was with Booker before Andy. I'm not saying you have to ship them just because they get so close so quick, but the numbers sure do make it clear that us BoNers aren't making this shit up out of nowhere.

Nile and Booker's heart-to-heart in the mine is the third-longest one-on-one conversation in the whole movie — third after Andy kidnapping Nile and Nile's sequence with Copley, which are both heavy on action and exposition and antagonism, making this the longest intimate conversation in the movie. their other heart-to-heart, 1:18 on the balcony outside the pub, is on par with Joe and Nicky's 1:17 in the van.

there's also a 51 sec sequence during the Merrick tower fight where it intercuts pretty much equally between three subsets of the action: Andy going off on her own with an axe, Joe waiting for Nicky to wake up after that head shot, and Nile and Booker being drift compatible when Nile's gun jams. we're not making this shit up out of nowhere.

ok back to our blorbos in chief. we get 4:07 of Nile as the sole focus, and 3:31 of the same for Andy.

the sequence of Nile going through hell on base just because she fucking lived (laser eyes @ her squad forever) lasts 1:14 and includes a few lines from minor characters. we get 15 sec of her first dreaming of the others and waking up unmoored, then a 20 sec reprise with her nightmare of the first person she killed. the sequence of her driving away from Copley's then figuring out what the empty gun clip means is 48 sec. and then, one of the things that stood out to me the most in really digging into these numbers: just how frequently and for how long the camera lingers on Nile's face in this movie.

extended closeups of Nile with no dialogue and no montage:

10 seconds staring at the car she crushed, killing Merrick in the process but somehow not herself

36 seconds in the elevator

and a whopping 44 seconds of listening to Frank Ocean

that's fully 1 minute and thirty seconds of this movie's 2 hr 5 min credits-included runtime devoted exclusively to long takes of Nile Freeman's face.

Andy's sole-focus time is a little less tidy, because the majority of it isn't precisely focused on her like with Nile. we get 15 sec of her staring at her hand, realizing her immortality is gone. I could have coded all the pieces of the movie more granularly to find all the moments where we get Andy reaction shots, but I also could've done that with all of them and I'm but one humble spreadsheet lover, and it's more interesting to me that Gina primarily uses other kinds of film language to put us into Andy's perspective.

1:35 of her cutting through all those mercs in the church — other people are active in this scene, but they're not shown as people, and the horror of that is exactly the point, for the viewer, for Nile, and for Andy herself

41 sec of her voiceover at the opening of the movie, over clips of the kill floor scene

1 min of her moodily sitting in the car after the pharmacy and flashing back to Lykon's death

the Andy/Quynh flashback sequence that's a subset of Nicky and Joe narrating to Nile is 1:31, so counting that alongside this flashback here brings us to a total of 2:31 of Andy/Quynh(/Lykon) alone together screen time. almost precisely equal to Joe and Nicky's total 2:24 alone together.

further underlining Booker and Copley as our tritagonists, we get one scene of on-screen alone time for each of them: 32 seconds of Booker being drunk six months later and 28 seconds of Copley reacting to the kill floor footage. it's easy to focus on the Andy in a Union uniform element of this Copley scene, but a photo of his late wife is visible in almost every frame. I went back and double checked — only 3 sec of those 28 don't contain that photo of his wife displayed proudly between the kill floor footage and the Civil War photo, 3 sec of Copley in closeup. now that's what I call environmental storytelling.

we get almost exactly 5 min each with the sets Andy + Booker + Copley, Andy + Booker, and Andy + Nile + Booker. ABC and ANB conversations tend toward driving the plot and fleshing out detail about immortality, though a decent chunk of ANB in the "is this a Rodin?" part of the cave scene is Nile and Booker talking about following the money (their first moment of drift compatibility!) while Andy angsts nearby, and a decent chunk of ABC at Copley's place is Andy and Booker's heartbreaking "this is what you wanted" "not like this" exchange while Copley awkwardly hovers. just under half of Andy and Booker's 5:01 on screen alone together is about his betrayal, 2:13 across three scenes. the other half breaks out pretty evenly between them talking about Nile, making battle plans, and just being pals.

has any mid-budget gritty action movie ever done it better? even the infodumps are full of character and relationship details.

I also find it noteworthy that Booker and Copley are never alone together, and they never directly acknowledge anything about their relationship. we know from what they tell other characters that they've been in contact before the events of the movie, probably for some time in some detail. we know they worked together to ultimately enable the cartoon-villain antagonists to do their villainy. Copley is direct about how these results were absolutely not what he intended, and we can infer from Booker's behavior that he wasn't aiming for decades of medical torture either. but we get no information about how they feel about each other. now that I'm looking at it with this frame, it seems like the absence of information is itself a kind of telling — Booker and Copley maybe purposefully avoiding 1:1 contact, purposefully treating each other as mere acquaintances when others are around, because to do otherwise would be to look their guilt in the eye. oh shit I think I might have given myself a whole new meta idea on this tangent here: Copley and Booker as mirrors for each other.

disclaimer as we're nearing the end that there's inevitably going to be bias and error in something like this. I measured by seconds not milliseconds and I wasn't always precise about where I paused to note timestamps at scene changes. sometimes I included what ended up amounting to several seconds of establishing shots and sometimes I didn't. and there are a bunch of edge cases where there's more than one way to count who was an active part of which scenes, like for example:

I separated out Andy and Booker's opening motorcycle stalking and Don Quijote chat from the later part of what was probably just one scene in the script, where Booker talks to the hotel clerk while Andy interacts with tourists nearby

I included all as one Nile + Dizzy + Jay scene the sequence where Dizzy and Jay talk to each other about Nile before they go into the med tent and act shitty to her face about how Nile's still alive

I counted as Copley + Merrick the conversation in the car where Keane and Kozak are present and react on camera but don't have lines per se

similarly I counted as Andy + Booker the "she wants to talk to her family" exchange after Nile and Nicky leave the dinner table; Joe's still sitting there next to them but he doesn't say anything and the camera doesn't focus on him

I didn't try to delete the time where Andrei said/did stuff from the 4:26 Andy kidnaps Nile sequence but I did remove a Keane cut-away from a later Andy + Nile scene

so much has already been lovingly written about how well Joe and Nicky spend their short on-screen alone time and rightly so. I don't have anything new to add there so I'll take a moment instead to shout out to the 27 sec of Nicky telling Kozak to go fuck herself, and also the iconic Joe headbutting Merrick. fuck, this movie is so so good. every moment is a delight.

#the old guard #tog meta #tog #mine

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anthropologist-on-the-loose · 11 months

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discworld looks like such a fun book series!!! but the large amount of novels and of different suggested reading orders have put me off actually starting the series. do you have any suggestions?

Yes!!!

Here's a little secret for you: most of the Discworld novels are actually fairly short, especially the early ones. I first read almost all of the Discworld books in one summer between 8th and 9th grade (there was roughly about 35 of them published at that time). So while the number of books can look intimidating, most of them are a much quicker read than the doorstoppers people tend to imagine when thinking about classic long-running fantasy series.

Regarding the reading order: yeah, there's a ton of different suggested reading orders out there. This is for two reasons. The first reason is that quite simply, the earliest books in the series... don't measure up to the standards of his later works. They're not bad, per se. But when compared to his later books, they're not as polished and the pacing isn't great. Early Discworld books also don't have nearly as much pointed social commentary; they're largely parodies of the standard sword-and-sorcery fantasy tropes that were popular in 80s pulp fiction. They're still decently funny if you're familiar with fantasy genre cliches from 40 years ago, but even then they may not be compelling enough to make you want to read thirty more of them. That's why most Discworld fans try to get people to start by reading later works.

Which brings us to our second reason for all the different reading orders: unlike many series where reading the books out of order wouldn't make any sense from a plot or character development perspective, each novel in the Discworld series could technically be a stand-alone book. While most of the books do follow each other chronologically in the same order they were published, they don't need to be read in that order to be understood. My personal reading order for Discworld was literally "whichever book is currently available at the library within biking distance" and I still was able to enjoy all of them.

Within the broader series, there are a few "sub-series" - series which follow the same character and/or set of characters over time. These sub-series are usually the easiest way to get people into Discworld, because once they become invested in a particular character they're likely to want to keep reading about that character.

The main sub-series people tend to recommend is the City Watch sub-series (starting with "Guards! Guards!"). This is for a number of undeniably valid reasons. The main character is very flawed but very likable, the books usually have a whodunnit plot that can attract people who might not normally read fantasy genre, and they're pretty influential in regards to the overall development of the Discworld's world building.

The second favorites for recommended sub-series are usually either the Death books (starting with "Mort", follows the actual physical Grim Reaper and his mostly human family either having or solving various existential crises) or the Moist von Lipwig books (starting with "Going Postal", a later but important entry in the series following conman Moist von Lipwig as he establishes various governmental institutions such as the post office or the mint (this series literally helped me better understand our real-life contemporary fiscal system)).

But what might draw you in to Discworld in general really can depend on what kind of interests you have. For example, if you're a big fan of Shakespeare and are really familiar with his works, Wyrd Sisters will probably draw you in with all the Shakespeare references. But if you're not as familiar with Shakespeare, then that particular book may not be the most interesting starting point.

My first Discworld novel was "The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents" (my friend at the time wanted me to read it because she had pet rats and was scouring the library for books where rats were heroes instead of villains). It's technically a young adult novel, but the storytelling and writing style was intriguing enough to get me looking for more.

I think my single favorite Discworld novel is "Small Gods", which is a standalone novel (not part of any sub-series) about what religion means. Part of it is that I happened to read it at just the right time in my life, but also it's just a great book that discusses some truly meaningful issues around belief and religion and it influenced how I see the world. Plus, on a conceptional level? The plot is hilarious. "All powerful god of a monotheistic religion accidentally gets stuck in the form of a tortoise and only one single person can speak with him so now they have to work together to prove to everyone in their pseudo-Catholic community that God is currently a literal tortoise."

I guess. If you've managed to read this far. If you have any further questions. Feel free to ask as you can probably see that I'd be more than happy to answer them.

P.S. This is one of the better "get started reading Discworld" guides I've seen

#that is an entire wall of text oops oh well #oh wait damn this is a WALL wall of text. you've activated one of the special interest trap cards.#discworld #ask #in which i say things

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