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oodlyenough · 26 days

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apollo justice: ace attorney thoughts

over the weekend I finished playing AA4 so I wanted to try to put my thoughts in order. much to think about etc

spoilers for the whole game obv, but i haven't played AA5 or AA6 yet so any mention of those are speculation lol

I had heard some pretty mixed reactions to AA4 and I had a lot of reservations going in. It's also probably the AA game I've played that I've been the most spoiled for, which is a shame but probably an unavoidable consequence of waiting for the port while engaging with the fandom. I don't usually like being spoiled but I think knowing the broad strokes of what to expect actually helped here. I can imagine an AU where I blitzed through the first trilogy and onto 4 with no idea of what was coming and being... very upset and disappointed by the direction it took. Having several months to brace for things like Phoenix's disbarment, the 7 year gap, Trucy, etc definitely softened those blows and made me more amenable to them than I would've been otherwise.

Cases

For the most part I thought the puzzle solving was good and the pacing was solid. The puzzles were mostly challenging enough to be satisfying to solve but not so challenging as to be infuriating, and I don't think I needed a walkthrough at all. 4-1 is one of the best tutorial cases in the franchise so far (though I'd give the edge to 3-1) and 4-4 was a really cool finale. The middle two cases tbh I also found fairly charming, and there's usually a least one case in the middle that seems to drag forever, so that was a pleasant surprise. I played Investigations 1 right before this, and I thought both the puzzles and pacing in that game were frankly horrible, so AA4 won a lot of points just with that.

I did think Turnabout Corner and Serenade would be more relevant in the grand scheme of things. The half-spoilers I knew had me expecting a much bigger web of conspriacy than we ended up with -- I expected it to be more than coincidence that Phoenix got hit by a car, more than coincidence that the Borginian egg coccoons are related to poison etc ... like... I fully assumed this was going to tie into the atroquinine plot. But I guess not ... ? Lol

Characters

The new main cast are all very likable, despite my initial reluctance to have a new main cast to begin with. Klavier was an interesting change of pace as prosecutor, in that he wasn't particularly antagonistic outside of the court, nor was he particularly preoccupied with winning, but he was still fun and challenging enough to face off against. Trucy was fun and delightfully bonkers as all assistants should be. Apollo's longsuffering exasperation was hilarious. Ema is the BEST I loved having her as the detective I wish she was there all the time.

I loved Beanix, for the most part. I can see why he rubs some people the wrong way, and tbh I'm glad his last canon outing isn't ... this. But I didn't find him wildly out of character, or at least, when he was feeling "out of character" vs the trilogy it made sense given the intervening events. I also thought it was fun to see him from the outside and see what a galaxybrain 5d chess master he is. I do wish we'd gotten to see more genuine moments of him with Trucy.

Kristoph was fun as a villain, though I have to say fandom led me to believe he was much more of a mastermind puppeteer than he seemed to be in reality. I was expecting a whole decade worth of conspiracies! Instead he fucked up once and struggled to fix it for seven years, lol. I also found the Kristoph/Phoenix relationship a) very fascinating, b) not really what I'd been led to believe by fandom (shocker). I like the canon more though -- I like that instead of being a retread of the Dollie betrayal-from-someone-you-love it was two guys who hate each other being forced to play nice as part of their own schemes.

Criticism

I think it's fairly obvious AA4 was meant to be a soft reboot of the series, to pivot away from the trilogy cast and set up our new heroes in Apollo, Trucy, and I guess Klavier. I think this is probably the entire explanation behind Maya and Edgeworth (and others but lbr those are the big two)'s conspicuous absence... but that doesn't make their absence any less conspicuous. I can squint and forgive neither of them being there when Phoenix is accused of murder, even though I find that insane. I can squint around Maya maybe being off in Kurain during the Enigmar trial, even though I think they could've used a line of dialogue to explain it. But then we started playing past-Phoenix for huge portions of investigation and that started to fall apart for me. Sure, maybe he's pushing his friends away because he's depressed, or maybe he wants to keep Maya out of things because he thinks it's dangerous, or whatever -- you could at least throw in a line or two saying as much. Not mentioning them at all and setting AA4 so closely after AA3, where Phoenix fell through a bridge to save Maya and Edgeworth chartered a private jet, just feels ridiculous.

I also think, at the end of the day, the story here was focused on and pivoting around Phoenix. The core question of the game is "what the hell happened to/is up with Phoenix Wright?" I love Phoenix, so that alone isn't a negative -- except that I think it meant Apollo, Klavier and even Trucy felt underwritten. Trucy and Klavier have such personal stakes in the unfolding events with the Gramaryes and Kristoph, but we only spend a little time and hints on how that might influence Trucy, who mostly falls into the AA weird girl pattern of brushing off major trauma instantly. (Maya got this a lot too in the original trilogy.)

Klavier ... I like Klavier, but they did not do much with him. How did he feel about Kristoph going to jail? He doesn't seem to hold it against Apollo, which is uh, noble, but perhaps not believable. He says he values honesty and truth but do we know why?

Apollo, likable as he was, felt like a passenger in his "own" game, rather than a major character. He doesn't even solve much of the stuff happening in the big overarching mystery -- he is Phoenix's avatar in court, presenting evidence and clues Phoenix left for him. Unlike Trucy and Klavier, who I am pretty sure take a back seat from now on, I guess Apollo still has two more games to try and flesh himself out ... lol but I also know fan reception of those two is not great, so my expectations there are minimal.

Overall

A really solid game that I enjoyed playing, though I can see why it's controversial and not some people's favourite, if they really loved the trilogy. I think it's debatable whether this was the best/only way to continue the series after AA3. And I am excited to read and write a billion 7 year gap fics now.

#ace attorney #aa4 spoilers #oodly plays AA #apollo justice: ace attorney

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

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Hello Ara Ara Anon here.

Kinda digging your profile Gun having a seriously face lol. Which made me think of what would Gun and Goo hate to see in thier Date or in fight.

And what would be thier auto "marry me" reaction during thier date/ situations.

Hello again Ara Ara anon! This is probably one of my fave expression this guy pulls. It's just so relatable. Thanks for the ask - and I could see Goo falling for the ara ara OC heh.

Fight Reaction: Marry Me!

Gun values competent people, he would have needed to have heard of your reputation first to pique his interest. It would make sense if you were making a name for yourself as a high ranking executive in Workers, climbing to the top with a ruthless tenacity. You're efficient and ambitious and you wanted the crew business all to yourself. Because why do these little boys get all the fun?

Couple that with you being strong? What a way to get his attention. Gun's instant marry me though? This bastard... Daniel breaks 1 arm and this pervert can't stop thinking about him. Imagine if you broke all his limbs.

Goo is one sadistic fucker. Similar to Gun, you would need to overpower him during a fight but he doesn't need the context. He couldn't give a shit who you are, but where have you been hiding with your pretty claws and vicious grin? Having someone like you beat him up is hot. It eases the sting of the loss somewhat.

Goo is sitting there, bruised and bloodied by you, which is already a turn on. Then you lean in and grab his chin:

"Ara ara... What a disappointment you turned out to be, Goo Kim."

He genuinely would blurt out "marry me" in this moment.

Fight Reaction: Fuck You

Gun loves fighting. He really believes in the beauty of the it, the movement, the skill, the raw feel of throwing punches and kicks. Connecting and ripping through skin, breaking bones. He doesn't care if you fight dirty. Go ahead and grab some weapons. Adds more spice.

However anything that would ruin the fundamental of people beating the shit out of each other would upset him, more so if it's illegal.

"You dumb motherfucker. Are you ruining my fun with a gun"

and if you tried to jab him with a syringe full of questionable drugs like what happened to Samuel? He'll really show you what Shiro Oni means.

What can I say, this guy has his principles.

For Goo, you would have thought anything goes with this blonde maniac but he hates being underestimated or thinking someone is going easy on him. And combine that with you getting the upper hand? He loathes your trash talk.

"You call that a punch"

"What is that stance"

"Have you ever even used a sword before"

He would be going feral with rage, frothing at the mouth, aiming to kill. If you manage to get him to this stage and still nothing?

"Was that supposed to hurt"

Please also see the above scenario - he would likely have the most confused boner.

Date Reaction: Marry Me!

Apart from the obvious fighting prowess, Gun would love someone that could easily be playing 5D chess and challenging him.

He's smart and perceptive but if he tells you about his day and you manage to catch something he's missed? Or offer him a better solution? God. He's always done this on his own, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad with you.

You would need a pretty wicked and wild streak yourself to seriously be with someone like Goo. You 2 together are loose cannons and a general danger to society. And your ideas of a date aren't the most... traditional.

Someone pissed Goo off and you suggest some casual arson? Grand theft auto against a guy who parked too close to his precious car? Identity theft of someone that tried to rip him off? Yep babe, you're the one.

Date Reaction: Fuck off

It likely will never get to this stage if they get even a whiff of something amiss.

Casually sleeping around is one thing but Gun and Goo are pretty thorough with researching and scoping people out, and that's no different for a potential date. They know the kind of traits they like and respect. If you don't fit the bill, then this ain't happening.

The only real thing both Gun and Goo would hate is if either of them misjudged you. They thought they saw a partner and an equal but you're not measuring up. Either you're too nice or normal or moralistic or just naive. This would never work, they need someone that understands the way of their world. They would have no qualms breaking up or just straight out ghosting you.

#lookism #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism x reader #lookism gun #gun park #gun park x reader #lookism goo #goo kim #goo kim x reader #lookism fanfics #wannaeatramyeon

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techniiciian · 8 months

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just finished rogue one: catalyst & i got to say that i enjoyed listening to orson trying to play 5D chess manipulation with galen. god, his aggression towards lyra was choice & man’s got a crush on galen idk what anyone says. anytime tarkin and krenic were gunning for each other & piloting against each other i was like “ooo the girls are fighting” such a good book lol. also i fucking lost it when orson was screaming galen's name. my dude you're so dramatic.

#technician difficulties ( ooc )#( lowkey i also spent the entire time wondering who the fuck saw was )#( i kept thinking i knew him from someplace but couldnt put my finger on it )#( then only after reading the entire book and sitting own was i like 'oh shit this guy was in an episode of tcw' !!! )#( also took me just as long to remember he was also in the rogue one movie lol )#( anyway great book )#( i loved all the characters )

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bcofl0ve · 2 months

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I'm sorry, but you ACTUALLY believe that, the other blog DIDN'T have any idea that someone was trying to screw with them?! You seriously think the dislike you two have for each other would go so far as to them actually taking that anon serious about knowing where you go to school?! Did it ever cross your mind that maybe they were trying to call THAT anon out? Apparently it didn't cause you just automatically think they are out to get you. than again seems like you are out to get them as well.

as someone who has had to deal with doxxing and swatting threats on here/twitter to the extent that i had to involve my school and create a paper trail with them so it’s documented- i will take anything that even remotely suggests someone has an interest in using my private information against me seriously. she could have completely ignored that anon and chose not to- so sorry i don’t buy she AcTuALLy knew what was happening and was just playing 5d chess. that was an excuse made after the fact. she does take an interest in my law school life, and has made numerous posts about how i’m not fit for law school/being an attorney and need to ~be careful~ because the internet follows you forever.

either way- and even if she was actually aware someone was baiting her and decided to play along for sone reason- i don’t feel sorry and won’t apologize for interpreting a spade as a spade when it comes to my safety and my private information. especially when this happened at at a time when i was receiving genuine threats that i had to report to my school and i was on edge, as anyone in my shoes would be. thanks! ❤️

i don’t want to have to block you but won’t have a choice if i’m badgered about this further. i have nothing else to say on the matter. i brought it up bc someone asked about passionate feelings re: a/k and it was obvious to me that our tit for tat yesterday prompted their question, at least in part. she knows just as well as i do that our um passion about this is a little personal and goes beyond “i think it’s a pr relationship and you don’t”. i did not say anything we didn’t already know. (:

if i have ever said or done anything that made her feel unsafe i genuinely apologize but i don’t think i have. ive never personally insulted her or wished ill on her (or her career endeavours). i won’t deny occasionally saying she was being a bitch/an asshole/crazy, but that’s atypical fandom spatting and i don’t think stan fandom spats should ever topic shift into personal life ish. as someone who has received threats over fandom opinions i know how scary that is and don’t endorse it all. if anyone has ever threatened her or tried to stalk her ‘on my behalf’ i rebuke that completely and will block those people if i’m provided usernames.

#mod talk

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missarchivistdoodles · 2 years

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Chapter 12: Home

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

AO3 Link

[[TW: Hallucinations, descriptions of injuries, disassociation, panic attack, what is self worth?]]

The ride home was quiet. Banner and Flash, after stuffing everything from Spam's shop into the trunk, sat silently in the backseat, both lost in their own thoughts. Survey drove carefully through the evening traffic towards their home on the edge of the Cyber Fields, casting anxious glances to the passenger seat every few moments. Popup had a firm hold of Spam, who was either asleep or disassociating, his face nuzzled into the larger Addisons neck.

They were almost to the neighborhood when Banner, thinking aloud, asked, "Should we get a carseat for him?"

Flash let out a very loud, inelegant snort, clapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. Banner shot him a glare as, in the front seat, Spam shifted, squinting his eyes open.

"Hey bro, we're almost home, okay?" Popup rubbed his little brothers back, keeping his voice low and even. Spam hummed and settled his head back down, face smoothing out into sleep once again.

"We'd be home already if you let me drive," Flash muttered from the backseat as they pulled off the busy main road and into their neighborhood.

"When you can afford the speeding tickets again, you can drive," Banner mumbled right back, craning his neck around the passenger headrest to watch as Spam snuggled against Popup. His heart melted at the sight, and he sat back, a small smile on his face.

By the time they pulled into the driveway of their house, Mcafee was waiting, sitting on the front stoop. The elderly program was all straight lines and edges, and what wasn't covered by a too-big sweater and corduroy pants was a deep red. He had been a doctor in his earlier days, until newer versions of his software were released and the Ambyu-lances took over the nearby hospital. Now he was retired, spending his days gardening in the backyard or spending time with other older programs in the park, playing 5D chess and reminiscing about the good ol' dial-up days.

As Survey stopped the car, Mcafee got to his feet and, leaning on his cane, waved to them. Popup carefully slid from the front seat, doing his best not to jostle his sleeping brother. Spam made a small noise of protest, and lifted his head to look around, trying to get his bearings. He caught sight of the house and stilled.

It was a large two-story ranch style building, with white siding and a dark front door. Each window had a different set of shutters - blue, orange, yellow, pink - adding a pop of color to the front of the house. A stained glass window was set into the door as well, a circle divided into quarters with each of their colors represented. The front lawn was covered with soft, green grass, the walkway and house itself trimmed with blooming bushes and small flowers.

Spam glanced up at Popup, who was watching him carefully. "Not apartment?"

"Nope." The eldest Addison started towards the front door, where Survey was already ushering Mcafee inside. Banner and Flash hung back, gathering Spam's scant belongings from the trunk. "We pooled all our savings and bought this place about five years ago." When he glanced down he caught a pensive, almost sad look on Spam's face. He tucked the expression away to analyze later and stepped into the house.

While the outside was a 1930's white-picket-fence dream, the inside was all modern. Hardwood floors, sleek (but comfortable) furniture, with an open plan that allowed you to see the living room, dining room, and kitchen all at once. Survey had led Mcafee to the living room, beside the white sectional set against the wall, which Popup made a beeline for.

"I'm gonna set you down, okay bro?" He said, leaning over the couch. Spam didn't respond, but he did loosen his grip on Popup's sweater. He allowed himself to be set down on the plush cushions, wincing when the sling shifted and jerked his broken arm. When the pink Addison completely released him, the let out a soft sound (that he would never call a whine, ever), feeling very small and alone without his eldest brother's touch.

A hand rested on his knee, and Spam turned to look at Survey, who was crouching in front of the couch, a warm smile on his face. "It's okay, Spam, we're right here, you're not alone. This Dr. Mcafee," he motioned to the older program standing behind him, "he's going to take a look at you, okay?" Spam didn't answer, didn't acknowledge the question in any way. He just stared at the new darkner and, beneath Survey's soft touch, trembled.

oOo

No, no this was not okay.

And it was stupid.

He knew it was stupid.

But here he was, trembling like a child in trouble, as Survey looked on with worry, obviously waiting for an answer.

It was not okay it was not okay he was not okay nothing about this was okay!

The new darkner - Dr. Mcafee - was standing slightly behind Survey, by the coffee table. He had pulled a bag from his inventory, a white bag with a bright red cross on the side, the go-to symbol for health officials and healers in the city. He was all straight lines, with an irregular polygon for a head, six-sided with a dip in the top and a triangle for a chin. His eyes were small behind square reading glasses, stern but not cold. He wasn't wearing the blue-red outfit most Ambyu-lances donned, or the white coats often seen in the nearby hospital. Instead he was dressed in a heavy wool jacket that made Spam itchy just looking at it. The doctor couldn't have been any taller than his own brothers, but he seemed to loom in the room, taking up too much space, too much air, too much too much TOO MUCH.

And it was stupid.

He knew it was stupid.

But there it was. The curling tendrils of fear reaching up from his gut twist around his very soul, whispering, hissing, wailing, howling at him that this larger darkner was dangerous, that he was a threat, that Spam was in danger, and he needed to run flee escape! The memory of Mike, looming over him in that dark place, flashed through his head, sending Spam's mind scrambling to protect himself.

No, NO, Survey said he's a HEALER, he won't hurt me!

But what if Survey lied? He wouldn't.

Why not?

He - he's my brother. My big brother. He wouldn't lie to me.

But he isn't your brother, is he?

W-what?

You disowned him. He disowned you. Look at him. Look at his nose. It's still crooked from where YOU broke it. Why would he bother bringing you to a healer when you've done nothing but hurt him?

I - I don't know, I don't know why…

You can't trust him. You can't trust anybody.

There was movement - Survey had shifted to the side, allowing the stern-looking Mcafee to stoop forward and give Spam a closer look. He was peering into Spam's eyes, his own dark ones wrinkled in thought as he spoke but Spam couldn't hear him, couldn't hear anything but the faint ring of static, and then a hand - large, broad, calloused from years of work - was reaching towards him, and the static was louder, a wave crashing over him, screaming at him to run to flee to get away!

He scrambled back, putting his weight on his right arm, and without thinking threw up his left to protect himself from the approaching hand. Pain - white hot, blinding, sickeningly sharp - radiated from the broken limb. The static that had been creeping at the edge of his vision, whispering to him, overtook his vision. Survey and Mcafee vanished in the white and gray snow, and he was falling to the side, unable to keep himself sitting upright, unable to do anything but keen as the pain laced through his every thought.

Something caught him - a large hand, warm and calloused, wrapped around his right shoulder, away from his injury, then something sharp was pricking his neck and then…

Nothing.

oOo

"What did you do?" Flash demanded as Mcafee pulled the small syringe from Spam's neck and tossed it onto the coffee table. The antivirus program had caught the small darkner as he fell, and he slowly lowered Spam to lay on the couch cushion, unconscious.

"Just a standard network blocker," Mcafee explained as he began to examine his patient, removing the round lenses and placing them to the side. "It will keep him out for an hour or so, let me work without spookin' him again. It won't do his mental state any good to be awake while a stranger is workin' on him, not with that kinda aversion." The hoodie was in the way - it would need to be removed, but with the broken arm, that would be a struggle. "Survey, hand me the scissors, will you?"

Survey dug the tool from his bag and dutifully handed them over, quiet and attentive. Banner - who'd gone to the laundry room in the back of the house to throw Spam's nest bedding in the washer - hung back beside Flash, who was twitching, arms crossed, tapping one foot impatiently. Popup, who'd gone to fetch a glass of water for Spam, set it on the side table by the couch and watched as Mcafee carefully cut off the hoodie.

"What do you mean, aversion?"

Mcafee neatly snipped off the make-shift sling, then began a long cut up the sleeve of the hoodie, slowly revealing the bruised and swollen arm wrapped beneath. "Didn't you see the way he was just lookin' at me?" He snipped the sleeve off entirely, giving the slap-dash splint a critical once-over before moving on to removing the rest of the hoodie.

"He was terrified," Survey said softly, fiddling with the handles of the healer's bag. "I - I've never seen him look at somebody like that."

"Whatever happened to your bro, it did a number on his mind, not just his body." Peeling away the rest of the hoodie revealed a dirty dress shirt, stained with grime and blood. Through rips in the thin fabric, dark bruising could be seen, interspersed with freshly-scabbed cuts. The healer moved to begin cutting away the shirt when a loud BANG echoed through the room, accompanied by the rattle of photographs. All gazes snapped to Flash, who had just put his hand through the drywall.

"Right. Banner, why don't you and Flash go pick up some dinner from the Cyber Grille?" Popup suggested, digging his copy of the car keys out of his pocket and tossing them to his blue brother. Banner nodded and grabbed Flash's arm, tugging him towards the front door.

"C'mon, Flash, lets get food for when Spam wakes up, yeah?"

"Wha - no! I'm not going anywhere, not until I know he's going to be okay!" Flash dug his heels in.

Banner sighed and held up the keys. "I'll let you drive."

There was still a pause, a hesitation (never let it be said Flash didn't love his littlest brother), before he broke and snatched the keys. "Fine. But no backseat driving." He snapped, stomping out of the house. WIth a roll of his eyes Banner followed, and a moment later the three heard the car engine start, then leave.

Popup turned back to the healer and his brothers. "Right, it's rush hour, that should take them at least an hour or two." He sat on the arm of the couch, watching as Mcafee dropped the remnants of the hoodie and shirt to the side, leaving Spam in nothing but some ragged dress pants and dirty shoes. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"At this moment, no." Mcafee began unwrapping the splint from Spam's arm, pulling a quiet groan from the patient. "But in the future, I believe not only Spam, but all your brothers, will require your strength and leadership." He dropped the bar and bandage into the pile beside him and gently felt along Spam's arm, grimacing at the bruising and the feel of the shifting bone. "Hmm, comminuted fracture." Green magic sparkled in his hands, much brighter than the spell Survey had used earlier that night. The sparks sunk into Spam's skin, and there was an unpleasant grinding noise as the bones snapped back into place. "It's healed, but it will be tender for a few weeks as the bones strengthen."

"Comminuted?" Popup was almost afraid to ask.

"More than three pieces," Survey answered, looking faintly sick.

Mcafee moved on to examining Spam's face, gently prodding at his swollen cheek and jaw. "This one's not nearly as bad," he told the brothers. "Part of the mandible is fractured, but it's a clean break." More healing magic sparked, and the bruising and swelling on Spam's face immediately began to vanish, smoothing back into pale white skin. He sat back, flexing his fingers and looking over the bruises that littered Spam's chest and stomach, at the row of ribs clearly visible through the skin.

"I've heard all the rumors about your brother," he glanced at the two Addisons, who seemed reluctant to look back, "and even if half the shit they say is true, he doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this. Do you have any idea who did it?"

"No." Survey sighed, busying himself with removing the well-worn shoes from Spam's feet. Six months on the streets had done a number on the soles, though overall they were still holding up pretty well. He wasn't wearing any socks, and there were calluses on his heels from where his feet had repeatedly blistered and healed.

"Not yet," Popup answered, and there was a threatening promise in his tone as he said it.

Mcafee just nodded and moved to unwrapping the tattered strips of fabric from Spam's hands. "Well, when you find o - dear god!"

There was a hole in Spam's hand. A perfectly round hole that went straight through, taking up most of what had once been palm. The three stared, aghast, at the injury. The tissue inside of the wound was smooth and slightly pink, only the smallest bit of scarring from when it healed. Slowly, reached for the other hand, gently undoing the fabric to reveal an identical wound.

"I am assuming he was not spawned with these…holes?" Mcafee asked, voice strained. Survey shook his head, reaching out to cradle Spam's other hand in his own. "Ah. This - this should be impossible. Those wounds should have destroyed any mobility in his fingers. The fact that he is able to move them and grasp things is nothing short of a miracle."

"Is that what you call it?" Popup's voice came out strained, and when Survey glanced up he wasn't surprised to see his eldest brother standing, tears falling down his cheeks. "A miracle?"

Mcafee took a deep breath and set Spam's hand back at his side, then stood and turned to Popup. "Yes. Your brother has obviously been through something…horrific. Survey informed me of the file compression when he fell into the…acid, correct?" Survey nodded. "Right. Spam survived that, as well as having holes cut into his hands that, if he did not bleed out from the injury, should have rendered his fingers useless. However he is still able to move his fingers and grasp items. And now he has survived yet another encounter with someone…unpleasant, and not only will he recover with no lasting physical trauma, he sought out you, his brothers, for help." He rested a hand on Survey's head, gently ruffling the bright orange hair, and gave Popup a serious look. "That Spam has survived all of this and come back to you, that is a miracle."

After a long moment of thought, Popup nodded, and slowly sat back down on the arm of the couch. Mcafee shifted back to kneeling beside the couch and began gently pushing on Spam's ribs, checking for any breaks. He murmured softly to Survey as he did so, explaining what he was doing and why. Survey listened attentively, still cradling Spam's hand in his own, and when prompted he cast his own small healing spells to lessen the bruising.

By the time Mcafee was done, Spam's bones were healed, but his skin was still littered with bruises. "It's the best magic can do." He said, getting to his feet and cracking his back. He put the emptied syringe back in his bag, then stuck the bag in his inventory. "Time'll have to take care of the rest. For now, he needs sleep and food, and above all, to feel safe."

"He's safe here," Popup immediately pointed out, moving to sit beside Spam's head and running a hand through his hair.

"You know that and I know that," Mcafee accepted his cane from Survey, "but he might not. And it might take him a while until he does."

"We'll be patient," Survey promised, walking the healer to the front door. "Thank you so much, sir. Please let me know what we owe you for a house call."

Mcafee gave him a gentle smack upside the back of his head as they reached the door. "None of that, Surv. You lot don't owe me nothing. Just take care of that little brother of yours, alright? Give me a call if anything happens."

Grinning sheepishly, Survey nodded. "Of course. Thank you again!" Mcafee waved off the thanks and shuffled down the front steps, cutting across the lawn to his own house next door. He shut the door and leaned his forehead against it with a heavy sigh, feeling the exhaustion of using too much magic settling in his limbs.

"He's waking up."

The exhaustion fled and Survey shot over to the couch, where Popup was still carding a hand through Spam's hair, watching the bruised face twitch as he came around.

oOo

Spam woke feeling better than he had in months. The aches in his feet and fingers from the cold had vanished, and the more recent pains from the beating Ransom and Ware had given him were now nothing more than dull aches. Someone was playing with his hair, and as he slowly opened his eyes, a blurry pink face came into view.

"Hey, baby bro," Popup spoke softly, his hand stilling, fingers still tangled in Spam's hair. "How're you feeling?"

He didn't answer, just turned his head to the side, searching the room. Survey was there, crouching beside the couch where he had been before. No yellow or blue - Flash and Banner were gone somewhere else, then. No red either. The healer was gone. Spam closed his eyes with a sigh - he was safe. Survey and Popup were safe.

Are they?

He squashed down the voice, focusing on the feel of Popup smoothing his hair back. He and Survey were still waiting for an answer. "No pain," he managed to inform them.

"That's good," Popup's fingers hit a snag of hair and he began to slowly pick at the knot. "Banner and Flash went to pick up dinner, but they aren't back yet. Do you want to take a bath before then?"

Did he? He hadn't had a good wash in months - the most he'd managed was running a scrap of fabric over himself when it was raining, cleaning off the worst of the dirt from his limbs and face. He didn't even want to imagine how gross his hair was, and here Popup sat, playing with it! Flushing, he nodded.

"Alright. Survey, could you-"

"On it!" The orange Addison looked ecstatic at being assigned the task. He rushed up the stairs at the back of the house, and a moment later water was running. Popup looked bemused as he helped Spam to sit up properly, handing him his glasses.

"When we decided to get a house together, the only thing he wanted was one of those big jacuzzi bathtubs," he explained. "I'm pretty sure he bought out the city's entire stock of bath bombs when we first moved in. I hope you don't mind smelling like a tropical fruit." Laughing softly, Popup stood. "Do you feel like walking, or would you like me to carry you?"

Spam glanced at the stairs, then up at his brother, who was patiently waiting for an answer. He did feel the faintest bit light headed - he could just barely remember feeling a prick in his neck, and was guessing the healer had given him something to calm him down that wasn't quite out of his system yet. "Carry?" He said hesitantly.

"Of course." Popup carefully scooped him up, holding him so he was sitting up against the larger Addisons chest, able to look around the room as they headed for the stairs. There were pictures hanging on the walls, showcasing parts of the city, both with and without the brothers in them. Near the stairs was a hole in the wall, fist-sized, and Spam gave it a curious look as they passed.

"So, downstairs we have the kitchen, dining area, living room, laundry room," pausing at the bottom of the stairs, Popup pointed to a few doors set in the hallway beyond it, "the laundry room, mud room, and the study, where we take care of all our paperwork. Upstairs we have five bedrooms and two bathrooms." He started up the steps, taking them slowly to avoid jostling Spam too much.

The first door to the side of the stairs was wide open, revealing a large bathroom with the aforementioned jacuzzi-tub. It was already half-way full and had a thin, orange foam on top. Survey was knelt beside it, a bundle of clothing and several towels perched on a stepstool beside him. He gave them both a bright grin as they came in. "Are you ready for the best bath ever, Spam?" He motioned to the tub. "This thing is magic, you'll be feeling like your old self in no time!"

Spam stiffened, gripping Popups shirt tighter. Like this 'old self'? Is that why they were helping him - they wanted him to be like he was before? Before - before Mike?

Could he do that?

Could he be like that again?

Happy, carefree, cheerful?

Unafraid of anything, including failure?

"Spam?" Popup gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, and he snapped his head up to meet his worried gaze. "There you are. I asked if you're ready to get in?" He leaned forward and set Spam on his feet, the smile on his face a bit tense. Spam nodded, glancing over at Survey, who was doing his best not to look rattled at his sudden dissociation.

"Yes," he forced himself to speak, despite the pain in his throat. Popup knelt beside him.

"Okay. Do you want us to go?" He offered. "Give you some privacy?" Without thinking, Spam grabbed Popup's sleeve - he couldn't think of a single thing he wanted less in that moment. "Welp, that answers that." His older brother smiled and gently detangled Spam's hand from his sleeve, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It felt a bit odd, and when Spam glanced down he felt sick.

The bandages were gone.

The holes were exposed.

He felt himself being picked up and, before the static gathering at the edge of his eyes could take over, he was set in several inches of warm water, pants and all. The fuzz retreated, and he shook his head, dispelling the rest of the black and white snow.

Survey gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Spam. You looked like you were about to go catatonic again - I thought the water would help."

Spam glanced down at the bath, orange foam swirling on top of the warm water. It was wide, large enough for two full-grown Addisons to sit comfortably, and there were little jets higher up along the wall. Survey had only put in about half a foot of water, coming mid-way up Spam's chest as he sat. It smelled fruity, like pineapple and coconuts, with a hint of something floral. He moved his hand, and the water flowing through the holes felt weird - unnatural - but the foam hid the sight, and he found it was much easier to tolerate now.

"Worked," he told Survey, who looked relieved.

"Great. Then let's start on your hair and work our way down, hm?" He pulled a bottle off the side of the tub and squirted a generous amount of shampoo in his hand. Spam, remembering this from when he was little, turned so his back was to his brother. Warm water was scooped over his hair, followed by the cool shampoo. Gentle, clever fingers began to massage the soap into the long, oily strands, carefully picking out knots and tangles as they went.

Slowly, Spam relaxed, allowing his shoulders to slump as he leaned ever-so-slightly forward. Survey had started humming softly as he worked, using a cup to rinse the soap from his hair before doing another round of shampoo. It was odd, but this gentle touch, combined with the soft sounds of his brother, made all the worries and stresses vanish. His mind felt almost empty as Survey massaged his scalp. Popup had disappeared somewhere - he'd heard him go down the stairs, but had yet to hear him come back up. After four rounds of shampoo, Survey worked in a heavy handful of coconut-scented conditioner, massaging it into every strand of hair.

"Much better. Would you like some help washing your back?"

Spam gave a non-committal hum, and soon a soft rag was rubbing across his back, gently wiping away at the grime that had gathered over the past six months. The water began to turn dark, and at one point Survey emptied the tub and refilled it with fresh, hot water (leaving the bath bomb out this time). He washed Spam's arms, and carefully cleaned his fingers, avoiding the holes in his palms. There was a slight pause when he wiped away the dirt on his wrists and saw the faint scars, but nothing was said. Spam put up no resistance, leaning against the edge of the tub and letting Survey pull him this way and that. He only moved when Survey asked him to take off his now-soaked pants (luckily the pockets had been empty), and helped wash off his legs and feet.

The last thing washed was his face. Survey gently turned him so he was facing the edge of the tub and, after removing Spam's glasses, he washed away the last of the grime, revealing tired eyes and hollow cheeks. Spam leaned into his touch, eyes almost closed, looking far more peaceful than he had in…years. Survey frowned thoughtfully, setting the rag down and simply cradling Spam's cheek in one hand, looking at him.

Spam made a curious little hum when the pampering stopped, opening one eye to peer up at his slightly-blurry brother. Survey was giving him a sad look, though his eyes seemed far away, as though he was thinking of something else entirely.

"Surv…?"

"Ah! Sorry, sorry," Survey dropped his hand, giving Spam a too-wide smile. "I was just…thinking. I'm glad you're back, Spam. I missed you." He ran a hand through Spam's conditioner-soaked hair. "We're almost done, let me just rinse your hair and you'll be ready to get out." The youngest Addison gave him a searching look, then slowly nodded and turned around. Survey quickly rinsed the conditioner out of his hair, leaving smooth, silky locks behind.

He drained the tub and helped Spam to his feet, offering him a towel to wrap himself in. It was far too large, dragging on the ground and soaking up what little water remained, but neither spoke of it. Carefully (and with a nod of permission), Survey lifted him from the tub and onto the fluffy bath mat. Spam carefully patted himself dry while Survey toweled his hair with a hand towel, getting it as dry as he could without a proper hair dryer at hand.

"These are from Banner." Survey presented the clothes he'd brought in - a gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants, in Spam's size. He turned to give his little brother privacy as he changed.

Spam wasted no time in climbing into the soft, warm, clean clothing. They smelled like the lavender fabric softener he knew Popup liked, floral and fresh. The sweatpants were a bit loose at his hips, and he had to push the sweatshirt sleeves up over his hands, but otherwise they were perfect. He couldn't help but hug himself, feeling like a true person again for the first time in ages.

"Looking good, Spammy." Popup was back, standing in the doorway and giving his littlest brother an approving nod. "You want to see?"

Before Spam could register the question and give an answer ("No!") Popup had stepped into the bathroom and closed the door, revealing a full-sized mirror hanging on the back. For a moment, he saw what his brothers saw - a young man, three feet tall, wearing clothes that were just a bit too big on his slight, malnourished frame. He saw large eyes behind round glasses, hollowed cheeks, one still bruised from where his jaw and cheekbone had been fractured, and an uncertain grimace on his lips. He saw hair that hung too long and was in desperate need of a trim, black at the ends and white at the roots and gray in the middle. He saw a long, thin nose that had, miraculously, not yet been broken.

He saw Spam Addison.

Then the wood came back, and the bright red blush, the unnerving grin of a puppet mouth, and the eye screws in his joints, fastened through his lumber skin, acid-green strings stretching to the sky as Mike swung the crossbar, forcing him to dance and smile and laugh and lie and cheat and hurt his brothers, his family, his friends. The ringing returned, faint at first but slowly growing louder and louder as he was jerked about, and Mike forced him to buy and sell and buy and sell and to go to Neo, always Neo, forever Neo, it was all that mattered, Neo Neo Neo Neo Neo -

Popup.

Hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at his eldest brother, to meet his wide, worried eyes. His mouth was moving, saying something, chanting something over and over again, but Spam couldn't hear him. He could only hear the ringing. With a sudden certainty, the kind that came like a lightning bolt from the blue, Spam knew he had failed.

He couldn't be Spam Addison again.

He couldn't be what they wanted.

A bath, as wonderful as it had been, couldn't fix what was wrong with him.

He had failed.

Again.

As Popup gathered him into a hug, and Survey rubbed his back and muttered reassuring nothings, Spam wondered how long it would be before they realized it as well.

#deltarune #fanfic #warning: battery low #spamton #addisons #blue addison #yellow addison #pink addison #orange addison #writing #shorter than the last chapter #next up: brotherly angst! all aboard!

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blubberquark · 4 years

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Levelling The Playing Field

I told a chess playing friend about the new 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel game on Steam. He did not understand the appeal of the game. Regular chess is clearly a much better game than both 5D Chess and Chess 2.

He’s right, but he’s a much better chess player than I am.

When I was 10 years old, my father taught me how to play chess. I always lost. I played a bunch of chess against my father, and he wasn’t particularly good at it, but he was better than me, so sometimes he had a beer as a handicap. My father didn’t know a lot about chess apart from the rules. When I was 11, I played against a friend of mine, until at age 12 he joined the chess club at his school, and my school didn’t have one. I just wanted to play chess for fun, and after a couple of months I always lost. My friend was a better chess player than my father, because his chess club had textbooks and a teacher who knew his stuff, not just a babysitter who watched them play chess after hours.

Much later, I learned Go, and I played a lot of Go, but not as much as the strong players I knew. In Go at least, you can play with a handicap and still have an interesting game, and learn useful things that apply to regular games without a handicap.

I also played lots of other board games with perfect information against my friends: Quarto, Hive, Pentago, Number One (the one published by Mespi), and variants of chess and Go.

Whenever we played a new game, there were no openings, no joseki, no endgames, no books. Everything we knew we had to discover on our own, from scratch. There was the exciting possibility of making a completely new and unexpected move, of trying out a new strategy and having it work just because your opponent had never considered such a move before.

Playing Hive against a Go master felt exciting because it was still difficult, but not a forgone conclusion. In Go, when I made a move I had never seen made by a stronger player before, the stronger player usually knew the correct response, which is why he never made the move before. There was still a possibility of surprise. It was a bit like playing chess against my best friend when we were 11.

Some people like games like Chess 2 or 5D Chess because they are so chaotic and unrefined, because they are probably imbalanced in a way nobody has bothered to find out yet. Similar uncertainty is created by introducing new cards in Hearthstone, or by randomising the board in Frozen Cortex each match.

It feels like a level playing field because players treat it like one. Maybe it’s really uneven. Maybe black has an advantage in 5D Chess. Everything seems possible, even if one day soon the game could be solved.

Now some other friends told me that 5D Chess is actually a deep and complex game, played not only for the memes, but because it’s actually good, actually well-designed.

But original chess is well-designed too, and in a way, it was more fun when I was 11 - not because I was a child, but because we played in a world without Elo ratings or opening books.

#chess #5d chess #game design #hive #board games #on the shortness of games

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redbirdbella · 3 years

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@clintasha-week advent calendar day 25 - holidays

No hate against quiet celebrations of christmas i just really want to write a found family fic. My last advent calendar day!!!

The Invitation arrives mid-November.

You are cordially invited to Morgan Starks first Christmas. The 23rd to the 27th of December.

Great. Just great. It's a little too early for Christmas but either Peppers excellent organisational skills or Tony's excitement had got the better of one of them. She should reply, she really should, she loves her little goddaughter. But Christmas has always been a quiet affair, a lazy day between her and Clint. One where she didn't have to walk around with her guards up, ready for anything. She pins the invitation to her notice board and mentally makes a note to reply, once she's made a decision.

Then HYDRA rears their ugly head and Christmas becomes more of an afterthought. Its Clint who gives her the nudge she needs.

"So what's the plan for Christmas?"

Natasha shrugs "It's Morgan's first Christmas"

"Yeah, I know. That normally happens once someone's had a baby"

"I'd like to be there"

"Yeah?" Clint asks smile rising to his cheeks, "Pepper says it's just going to be low key. Just the Avengers, Bucky, Rhodey, Happy and Peter and his Aunt. We can bring Lucky. Leave early if it gets too much"

Natasha nods. That sounded - tolerable. "At least I won't have to cook"

It sounded simple. Just RSVP but nothing could ever be simple for Tony. There's even a freaking timetable for her to agree too.

They should arrive anytime on the 23rd but preferably in time for the adults-only party in the evening. The words PETER CAN ATTEND BUT WILL NOT BE SERVED ALCOHOL have been written in pen underneath. The 24th involves baking and board games and carol singing and a visit from Santa followed by a child-friendly fancy dress party in the evening. The 25th is Christmas. Presents encouraged, Pyjamas only. The 26th is an open house with exclusive invitations to those Tony deems worthy of paying homage to his baby daughter. She knows that Hills been invited so that'll be - nice.

They receive time off from SHIELD starting the 16th so there's a rush to get presents (I mean what do you get a billionaire and an 8-month-old?!) acceptable pyjamas and a fancy dress costume. Clint decides they should be pirates so he can master the eye patch ready to take over from Fury. Natasha leaves that to Clint using the time to buy her archer a few presents. A new lead for Lucky and a Tourist's guide to Budapest amongst other things. She spoils Morgan into a state of rotten worse than the back of Clint's fridge but it's worth it or it will be.

It's already by the 23rd. Just. She'd be lying if she wasn't still wrapping presents under Lucky's supervision in the back of the quin jet on the way over to Tony's Minnesota mansion. The sun is dipping as they arrive exchanging hugs and a quick squeeze with Morgan before she needs to go to bed. She's surprised to find she doesn't hate it. They give them space to settle into their rooms. Separate accommodation had been provided, but one instantly becomes a luggage storage facility. No one comments. It's nice even when Jarvis directs them down to the Outside barn for the party. It's smart casual, laid back and lit up with fairy lights and a moderate Tree in pride of place. Like someone had put real thought and care into who and what they were doing. Theirs an ice sculpture that's giving out some sort of non-alcoholic punch. A pool table, air hockey table and various amusements but it's the target practice area built into the corner with various weapons from axes to darts that they make a beeline too. Clint quickly claiming the bow. It's a nice icebreaker. Bucky and Clint hit it off occupying two of the lanes showing off to no one but each other, leaving Natasha and Steve to talk.

"Your Clint is good isn't he- there's not much between them. Your Clint. My Bucky" he's had a little to drink but Natasha doesn't care. They've earn't this.

"He's not my boyfriend"

"I know. You're just sweet on him and he's sweet on you. It's nice to see you both happy" Steve says knowingly.

That just about sums it up. She's sweet on him -for him. Just about him.

"Yeah, I'm just sweet on him" she nods.

"Good. Think he's got a fan" he says tipping his bottle towards the young Spiderman who Clint greets warmly.

Natasha smiles downing the rest of her drink in one "Ever thrown an axe before Cap?"

Slowly the numbers in the building rise until everyone's arrived and it's - nice. Really nice. Just a relaxed evening with people she considers friends. She doesn't think once about home or switch to the 5D chess or Machiavellian mind games. They all call it a night at 2 am for fear of waking Morgan but Tony assures them the Barn will be open to use thorough out the stay. Perfect.

Lucky wakes them early the next morning. Too early. but he still manages to drag them on a walk exploring the gardens of the house. It's beautiful even as the snow starts to fall driving Lucky crazy. Clint holds her hand once the mansions out if view. "Need to keep them warm or Morgan will scream the place down when hold her"

They walk until the winter sun rises enough to melt the snow clouds and return to the house Jarvis greeting them upon arrival. Apparently most of the house were in the kitchen baking- or at least attempting to. Only Rhodey seemed to be busy with a few saucepans. The pantry is well stocked though and Steves happy enough to try his hand at gingerbread to escape Bucky and Sam's endless bickering. Natashas just happy to hold the sleeping Morgan, Lucky laying on her lap as Pepper gives Clint the pantry tour. She can't escape the nagging worry that she's not worrying enough until Morgan wakes and stares longingly at the next Christmas tree of the Starks small forest. She gives her a tour and gets roped into help Clint with cookies when Morgan gets hungry and Clint forgets the correct conversion rate between metric and imperial. They're good though melting into her mouth as Clint offers her out a bite. She can feel eyes on them but she doesn't care. They don't care, she reasons or they'd have commented when they'd disappeared into the same bedroom the night before. The afternoon starts as planned with boardgames but quickly dissolves into chaos once it becomes clear that playing trivial pursuit with 3 geniuses, two people with somewhat blank memories of the past 60 years and a Norse god will simply end in tears. It moves to charades which Clint cheats at using ASL to end his torturous turns as soon as possible. Peter soon figures that out causing them to move swiftly onto Jenga the ultimate superhero lever. The games are long drawn out competitive things. It's taken more seriously than most of their missions Natasha notes with a grin. She melts into Steve's arms letting her whisper trash talk into her ear, maybe he's more fun than he first appears. It lasts until Morgan decides it shouldn't screeching and whimpering and demanding a nap. Ruining the quiet calm required for competitive Jenga. Slowly the party breaks away, Tony reminding them of the carols and Santa's visit promised later. Natasha promises to come only to see Morgan's reaction Clint had a $50 bet she'd cry at the sight of the new Intruder, presents be dammed. He's unfortunately right and it takes her through half of the carols (and some of those own songs that mention too much war to be specifically Yuletide) to settle into Pepper's arms before doing the tour of all her Uncles and Aunty's. She coos at Natasha obviously complaints about the new red intruder, but one tickle under her chin and she bursts into giggles.

"Your a natural" Pepper says with a smile, "Obviously her favourite"

Natasha savours the cuddles for a little longer before handing her back carefully removing her little hands from her curls.

"Thank you, Natalie, we are going to have a little nap ahead of the party tonight. Starts at seven. Back here, it's too cold for this little one in the barn. She'll want to see all the costumes hopefully you'll be much happier when it's all your friends dressed up, huh, baby" Pepper coos.

She whisks the little one away before the tears can flow once again leaving Natasha to care for her own needy creature who is just desperate for a walk.

Clint has laid out their costumes on the bed. The costumes are beautiful, Clints has a definite focus on his arms sleeved cut enough to draw attention to each muscle. The swords are surprisingly substantial.

"Mine from the circus"

"A pirate in the circus?!"

"A swordsman in a circus?"

He grins "exactly would you like to learn?"

She smiles picking one up and testing its weight. "I think I can figure it out. Most weapons are fairly intuitive"

"Ready then? Let's see if you can figure it out"

He meets her sword swinging it gently into hers. She grins and meets it using the motion to try and push him off balance. It's ineffective so he capitalises using the swing in her weight to knock her backwards on to the bed but he's too confident in knocking her down leaning too far forward that it would be rude not to bring him down with her.

"Hey" he grins, not exactly disappointed by his new position.

"Hi" She whispers standing up before the blush can rise to her cheeks "You'll have to bring these to SHIELD one day. Give me a proper lesson."

Clint agrees completing a quick change into his pirate costume. Natasha isn't one for fantasy but she can make one exception letting her mind wander.

"Your turn?" He says before putting on his boots.

She doesn't even need to question the sizing if anyone's Natashas body it's him. She changes quickly staring at her self in the mirror. What would madam say at this act of childishness dressing up for a child barely able to comprehend their presence let alone who they are dressing up as. Whatever she would say it doesn't matter Clint wraps his arms around her waist.

"This has been surprisingly Ok. Christmas with the family"

Natasha leans back into his arms "It's complicated, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else"

"Welcome to Christmas" he laughs, "now I just need to get the mutt ready, You wanna be a pirate bud?"

Lucky complains about the pirate flag neckerchief until the fuss arrives at the party. Steve and Bucky and Sam have dressed in 1940s attire. Bruce in his lab coat and goggles. Thor surprisingly as a firefighter though Natasha isn't sure how he learnt about them but she's sure it's a long story. Rhodey as a member of top gun. Peter is some sort of star wars character Clint recognises on sight though the teenager seems more distracted by his Aunt and Happys couples costume. Tony and Pepper are attendees of Jurassic park the two scientists that become a couple if Natasha remembers the films. Morgan dressed in a dinosaur all in one.

"Oh, you are terrifying" Natasha coos offering her arms out for the little girl. She chirps and delightedly reaching for her hat.

Pepper hands her across returning to grown-up conversation with May and Happy.

Natasha let's her hold the hat bringing her to the sofa and to Lucky's waiting nose.

"Does she smell like dinosaur" Natasha coos letting Morgan pat at Lucky's ears. She manages to keep a hold of her goddaughter for most of the night but she has a curiosity for hats swapping quickly to gain a small collection. She falls asleep playing with Clint's buttons and that draws to a sudden close. Tony smiles that new smile he's developed just for his daughter and takes her into his arms.

"Jarvis will drop off breakfast in bed tomorrow if required. Presents opening at 10.30"

The rest of the evening is a timeless blur of a short walk for Lucky, Warm showers and bed before waking up in Clint's arms as Lucky nudges her arms. Apparently jet lag is harder to adapt to when you're a Canine.

"Merry Christmas Lucks" She whispers brushing her fingers through his hair. They're walking fifteen minutes later holding hands today simply out of habit. They discuss gifts and tell stories until they can no longer feel their fingers when they get back no matter how hard Clint holds her. The ice melts away as they eat breakfast, warm Pastries on a platter left by Jarvis dressed in her new pyjamas. It's a new sort of intimacy. Childlike and raw but it's not awkward. Not like she fears.

They give presents amongst friends when 10.30 rolls around. It's tolerable everyone opening presents at once no one needing to explain or pretend. She needs to work on her pretending, she decides as she opens present after present and finds herself liking most of the presents. It's easy to slip under the radar and just enjoy opening presents or watching others open they're own. Well, that is until Clint opens his tourist guide to Budapest his pointed look puncturing the mood until everyone's quiet.

"I know you've been meaning to visit," Natasha says with a grin.

"Yes, I've been told Budapest is very beautiful at Christmas time" Clint returns flicking through the book.

"Well?" Sam asks "is that it?"

"Thank you Natasha," Clint says with a nod when he reaches the back page.

"Fine keep your secrets" Sam mutter's returning to his own pile.

They settle in for Lunch and then nap in front of the fireplace after the queen's speech. Tony had indicated a childhood tradition enforced by his butler. She holds Morgan as they doze pulling the little one in close.

"So this is Christmas huh?"

#clintasha #clintasha advent 2020

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