#they still can have my stuff

[lonicera-edulis]

I feel that I have to put a message for incest/pedo shippers in my posts, because they just keep coming. Although I always thought it stupid to put those sentences, they don't make posts look good. But I am tired. Why are there so many and they don't stop coming?

#I don't know where to put my anger about everything happening right now so proshippers are a target in my blog now #also I am upset I can't block them so they won't reblog my stuff #they still can have my stuff #also discouraging seeing cool artists have that kind of content although it's old but I don't know #I am a hypocrite anyway: if I know that some cool creator is into that but does it rarely I will swallow the bitter pill and carry on #a bit worried that I may be so done to the point of losing interest in fandom (like it happened with the untamed fandom) #the downside of wanting more attention from fandom #my apologies for venting again #I can't find a safe place for my mind #with the brain like mine I can't even go touch grass in peace #in my defence those people didn't put warning in blog description and didn't put tags so they could be filtered #I think it's a basic respectable thing to do #also to mind my own blog description or pinned post where I asked them to go away #I understand that I am acting infantile #ah whatever it is a very minor problem truly #as I said I can't vent about all other things so I find a thing like this and bite on it

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia. #yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!! #i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up

[machinerot]

#my art #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #disco elysium fanart #harrykim #kimharry #or whatever they're called #let this man have happiness or so help me #im a firm believer in harry getting a slow post-recovery glow up alright. it's the least i can do for the guy. #man i was listening to so many banger songs while making this #im still getting back in the flow of painting so most of my stuff is kinda messy still #but i suspect ill find a middle ground between this and my last piece style-wise #gearing up to drawing kim in all his glory too now that ive finished two different side profiles of him. only a matter of time now #also fun little fact. i drew over half of this (~4 ? hours) using just my finger on the trackpad of my laptop lol #sometimes it helps me to just put shapes and colors down. when ive got a pen i get too nitpicky about being perfect/using fancy techniques #sometimes all you need is. finger 🫶 #OH!! i forgot to mention someone spotted it in the tags—yes this is based on that one leyendecker piece!!

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol #i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced #i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy #if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^ #i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes?? #im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up #and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out #rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded #the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities #laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might #still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore #sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld #be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada.... #christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me #like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to #i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man #my art #myart #fanart #laika's comet #laikas comet #laika #mars #yue #furry art #fur #littlest pet shop #lps

[classicslesbianopinions]

the other thing about being disabled in academia is everyone is like "yeah we can't do much about the buildings they're old :/" as if "old" being a synonym for "inaccessible" isn't just a constant reminder that the people who built the school did not imagine that someday someone like me might study there

#mod felix #obviously there's some stuff that's way more accessible with like. electricity. like. i can get to the second floor. for example #but like. it's still possible to have. for example. ramps. if you as a culture value disabled people and their work #i miss when i was at a school where 'these are old buildings' meant 'these buildings were built for cows instead of people' #rather than 'these buildings were built for students just not students like you' #and of course this is another one that applies to many marginalized groups and like. many groups more than disabled people #in the sense that like. my school was also built to explicitly exclude people of color. for example #but i speak from my own experience and my own experience is characterized by ableism more than anything else #but like . again if you read this and you're like 'this feels like it applies to me in ways unrelated to disability' #well it probably does.

[lieu-rey]

uhm uh. rdr jovier.

#rdr2 #rdr #javier escuella #john marston #jovier #red dead redemption 2 #when you have to kill your lover to save your wife and child. #and you cant look at his face bc you cant face what you had to do. #red dead redemption #red dead #can A/I_art die already i dont like how glaze makes my art look like jpeg images lmao #um anyway. jovier still on the brain. i promise i draw other rdr stuff besides them JFKEJNFN #i still have a bunch of stuff to post stay tuned<3 #oh fuck i forgot the tws #tw blood #tw death #nobody: #my brain cell immediately attaching to the only mexican character in a piece of media: #my art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU #lan wangji #wei wuxian #digital art #Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics. #So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai #Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun! #Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*) #I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered. #My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.” #Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH. #Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept. #This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later. #And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.

[originalartblog]

@bsdfanweek's skk Valentine's week day 2: Camellias and Floral Troubles

Dazai's love life is so hard. This is in reference to my recent skk post!

#weep for dazai he's trying really hard #they're still settling in their new relationship #enjoy my monstrosity of cursive and capital letters for maximum drama and lisibility #my cursive is rusty and i'm not convinced all of you can even read cursive in the first place #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #skk #soukoku #i'm playing the romantic skk up because it's valentine's day week #when ironically it is very much almost aro week. but most of my stuff falls in the ambiguous category the rest of the year jshdgfsjhfg #also without remi i could not have come up with a corny one-liner so thank you very much

[wardingshout]

instead of brain there is Link's Awakening

#tloz #link's awakening #link #my art #I promise I have real proper fanart for this game I promise I will finish it eventually and I'm so excited sdfhku (hyping myself up) #it's been a while since my motivation for drawing has been this consumed by the feeling of wanting to show my love for a media #and it gets a bit overwhelming but I can still mess around with small stuff in the meantime !! #I use tegaki very sporadically but I still think everyone should come hang out on there wink wink

[rapidhighway]

I need every public place to have detailed descriptions of the entire place + how to behave and what behavior is acceptable or not and i need it all as straightforward as humanly possible

#i just dont knowww i dont know how to behave anywhereee #pleaseeeeeeeee #some shops have like a 360 virtual trip through the place and they are a godsend i need this everywhere or i can never #leave the house in peace #ngl my anxiety is through the roof rn and i might just collapse and die any minute so i might be extra delicate about this stuff rn #BUT STILL

[lesbianshepard]

me reading a post about non-existent fictional mobsters from a movie that has never existed

#goncharov #look my opinion on goncharov is that it's still funny #i still like the meme #i love the idea of posting your reactions to a film that does not exist #because the beauty is that it's SUCH a great film that all others pale in comparison #written by a man whose mother was italian and whose father was a license plate #i love the art! #i love the idea! #but some stuff is like #you have not seen a mafia movie have you #stop trying to bring it into our reality!!! #you are not going to be able to write the greatest mafia movie that has ever existed #WAIT YOU CAN EDIT TAGS NOW WITHOUT REWRITING #I JUST DRAGGED ONE AROUND AND I CAN EDIT IT????

[queenkinqs]

people love to talk about invincible for it's over the top gore and violence, but i really do think the show's writing is at it's best when it's just two people have a conversation

#LIKE UGH #this scene + 'you dad. i'd still have you' are probably my two fave scenes in the entire show like WOWW #the casualness...the familiarity.....the intimacy........like wow #you can tell just how much rex and eve care for each other despite the fact that rex has hurt eve so deeply #and you can tell how much rex regrets hurting eve just based on how he talks about all of the stuff that eve went through on her own #and how rex was given the opportunity to grow and change because of her LIKE!!!!! #also all the references to the rex splode prequel comic...rex hiding in her room for a year...eve showing rex her family portrait #(which didnt happen in the comic so i am assuming their gonna add it to their eventual adaptation of the comic plz) #AND EVE my beautiful princess who deserves the world and then some #atom eve #rex splode #invincible #shut up birdy #that one oomf who doesnt play abt rex and eve

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #gallagher #i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU #and then blade constantly just being blade as usual #its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but #i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary #but the amount of times blade was the recipient...... #i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just #get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better #so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle #funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still #but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me #so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ? #i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway #one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys #also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out #i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool #and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher #so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought #(no i am not but we can pretend)

[somnimagus]

My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!

[id in alt!]

#kingdom hearts #kh #kh kairi #kh xion #kh namine #i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but #i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha #i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted! #ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming: #protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.' #so my general theme was finding a sense of self. #these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise #and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people #xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are- #instead of the parts that they share with someone else #and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all #i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see #hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words #but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine #i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it #ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha #fan art #my art #project stuff