#these two have my braincells right now and are dragging me full force out of art block and the last two months of depression | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

earthlyyan · 3 years

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Organic Antidepressants

(Slight Yandere Ferid Bathory x Suicidal Reader) originally posted on my AO3

Warnings: Ferid being touchy, suicidal depression, intrusive thoughts. Reader is of legal age

first person pov (ew)

(Originally Posted on AO3 On 1-9-2020)

The days were far longer than they were before… at least it felt that way.

I knew I should’ve died that day. I wish I had died that day. The day the trumpets of the apocalypse decided to ring gloriously over our god forsaken planet.

Anyone younger than thirteen? What a fucking joke.

The cot stuffed with hay was one of the few things that brought me comfort in the day to day. The odd number of children allowed for me to be alone. I liked it that way. More me time. And the most I wanted to do was return to it. But instead, my feet dragged down the busy streets, making my way to the blood bank.

On my way though, I could hear the guards making excuses to their superiors. Apparently three humans on the register were found dead in their terf.

“They committed suicide. You know how they get when they’re cooped up. I didn’t touch them, honest.”

“They got sick. Died of their illness I guess.”

Bastards took them for themselves. Everyone knew it. But were they going to confront them? They weren’t protected. The vamps just thought they could get away with it.

“Hey we have enough. Three won’t make a dent.”

Not even caring that those children had futures. Well, would’ve had futures. Those were stripped away as quick as the adults were.

I wanted to be happy. We all did.

But in this place? Laughable. You had a better chance of being an astronaut. Well… maybe not. But it sure felt that way.

You know how to be happy right?

“First and Last name?”

I answered.

“First open table.”

No matter how many times I’ve done this already, the dread won’t leave. The feeling of their eyes. I could see the barely restrained hunger. If anyone was left alone, they’d take a bag for the rations and the kid for themselves.

You could ask the vamp to take extra.

I shuddered and plopped myself on the medical bed. “Good morning.”

An unamused grunt was my reply. I was the scum of the earth not worth talking to, apparently.

He’s right, isn’t he?

The needle was quick. He hadn’t even bothered to give a warning. It was a pinch, a wave of nausea, and then it was over. He tossed the pouch of their nasty sustenance formula in my hands and pointed to the door.

“Thanks.” I walked out and threw myself on the floor beside the benches. I opened my disgusting capri-sun wannabe and began to suck on it. I cringed at the taste.

There were two boys on the stairs. One obviously more displeased about the situation than the other. He crinkled the full bag and threw it across the clearing. If I had the balls and the same cripplingly low amount of braincells as he did, I would probably do the same.

The other boy, far more mature than the other, stood up after chugging his to throw his pouch away. He seemed to be taking the situation much better than the other. He had beautiful blonde hair and deep blue eyes. If he wasn’t in this hell hole, he could’ve been a child model.

The thought made me sad. What could’ve been. I could’ve been somebody.

Maybe you’ll get a fresh start in the next life.

Apparently, I had zoned out far longer than I thought because the next thing I knew, a fight had broken out.

If you could call a young boy threatened to be chucked off the ledge a fight anyway. He was soon thrown to the side with enough force to send him reeling.

A well-dressed vampire walked with purpose down the stairs. Shoulders back, chin up. He seemed regal.

He certainly looked like royalty.

“Lord Ferid!” The little blonde boy ran up to him. The two seemed close enough, which sent my mind reeling.

How does a kid get that close with a nobleman like him? They seem friendly.

“Ah~ Mika!” The noble -presumably named Ferid- gave him a kind smile. “What on earth seems to be the matter?”

He talked like royalty too.

I couldn’t stop staring. After a few minutes of banter, the noble took his hand from the blonde’s face and sent him on his way. He had said something about meeting at his mansion. I brought myself up from the floor and chased after the blonde.

Two days after the talk with Mika, I stood at the noble’s door.

“If you give your blood, he’ll give you anything you want!”

I rose an eyebrow. “Really? Anything?”

Mika nodded proudly. “Yup! Though he’s busy tonight. But the day after I’d try it.”

Maybe he can take the pain away.

I took a few controlled breaths. This screamed danger. It’s a vampire. They kill people

Why are you so scared? It’s not like your life could get worse.

I knocked on his door.

It swung open, seemingly on its own accord. The motion invited me in. Once I was past the threshold, I gently closed the door and looked inside.

There he sat, lounging on a tasteful white couch with gold accented frames. In the dim candlelight he almost resembled an angel.

An angel of death, perhaps?

He looked up from his book and turned his attention towards me. My body froze. I felt my self-confidence leave. Not like I had much left anyway.

He called my name, somehow. Mika must’ve told him or something. Though, something nagged at me. I don’t remember telling Mika my name. Mika hadn’t even told me his. It was all overheard. Then how?

“Come, sit.” He patted the seat next to him on the couch.

I sat down on the chair across from him instead.

“Over here, my dear.” He patted the spot next to him louder, trying to coax me over like I were an animal.

Though, that’s probably how he saw my species anyway, isn’t it?

“My dearest Mika had told me about your visit a few nights ago. I wouldn’t have thought he would’ve told anyone about the little arrangement I have going on here, but I’m not complaining.” He sighed, seemingly content. “I wasn’t expecting someone of your age to be here, how are you still here? You have me curious.”

“If I’m honest, milord, I don’t quite know.” I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. But the calculating feeling of his gaze made it harder. “Luck? Possibly?”

“Luck?” He leaned back and turned himself towards me. “Is it truly luck?”

“With all due respect, what’s that supposed to mean?”

You know what he means, and you know he’s right.

He smiled at me, not meeting my eyes. Ah. Okay.

“So, what are you hoping to get out of this?” He scooted closer. “As much as I’d like to think you’re here out of the kindness of your heart, we both know that isn’t the case, now is it?”

I nodded; heat crept its way up my face. “Yeah, but I suppose that doesn’t make me irregular.” I grumbled. “But I suppose that also makes me boring doesn’t it?”

He shrugged. “That entirely depends on you, my dear.”

I tugged at my uniform and cleared my throat. “Yeah I guess that’s fair.”

“Back to the topic at hand, yes?” He smiled and placed a gloved hand on my shoulder.

I suppressed a shudder. “Right. I guess I should cut to the chase.” I finally had the courage to look into his eyes.

Those damn eyes, despite the almost ravenous look in them, I couldn’t help but find them entrancing. Like shiny rubies in where his irises should be. He raised his eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

“Antidepressants.”

And I would’ve never thought his grin could get bigger. “Antidepressants? Now that’s something I haven’t heard before.”

In a place like this? Really? “I’m sure you would’ve heard everything by now.”

“And I thought I would’ve heard it all by now too. But I suppose not.” He ran his hand down my back

I gingerly grabbed his hand and put it back on his lap. “Sorry.” I mumbled.

“No~ Don’t apologize. It’s quite alright.” He folded his hands in his lap, he smiled at me. “If I were in a situation like yours, I don’t think I’d want to be touched either.”

My gaze fell. “Right. A situation like mine.” I slapped my cheeks gently to liven myself up. “Back to the deal though.”

“Actually, before we continue, what do you need them for? Medicine isn’t allowed down here unless regulated, considering how it effects the blood. Someone as old as you should know that.”

“Yeah, but why else would someone need antidepressants?”

He stared at me. His expression left no room for argument. He wanted an answer. His lips tugged into a smile. A kind looking one, but it left something unsaid.

“Why do you really need them?”

It’s not like you have anything else to lose, right? Tell him. You’ll feel better. He can make you better.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, leaning back onto the couch. “Look, how old do you think I am?”

“Too old to be here at this age, certainly.” He shrugged and made himself comfortable next to me. Close enough to grab me, but far enough not to invade my personal bubble.

“And why do you think that is?” I looked to the wall, hoping to find a distraction to focus on anything else but how close he was. But found nothing but pristine white.

“This world’s god is cruel.” He said. “It seemed they chose to bless you instead of damning you to the fate of your elders.”

I laughed. “Bless me?” I ran my hands faster through my hair, tugging at the ends to ground me. “What kind of blessing is this? I’m stuck down here to live until old age, vitamin deficiency or illness takes me? I’d rather be with my friends and family.”

You could join them. There’s plenty of spaces to do so. You could fly like an angel.

“You could always make your situation better.” His voice softened.

“That’s why I’m here.” I took my hands from my hair and began to fiddle with my identification tag. “I thought if I struck a deal with you, I’d get the opportunity to make things better. To make things as they should be.”

“But if you were to make things as they should be, then I know the real reason you want those pills, don’t you?”

“I didn’t mean it like that I—” I felt my throat close. Tears stung the back of my eyes, I fought desperately to bite them back.

This didn’t go unnoticed.

“You did, and it’s okay.” His hand made its way to my hair. I couldn’t find the strength to fight him. It’s not like he was going to harm me if he wanted this deal to work. “You know your very existence is a burden to you. And you want to fix it. You humans were always so independent.” He whispered. He paused to take off his glove and used his sharp nails to comb my hair. “But you know it’s okay to ask for help, right?”

“Nobody would give me help. They wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t care. I’d rather just…” I swallowed hard.

“End it? Now don’t be ridiculous.” He placed my head on his shoulder, presumably for easier access. “What if there truly isn’t a happy end if you end it? You’d lament not fixing it while you could. And suicide isn’t beneficial to anyone, little lamb.” His hand reached to touch my face. Despite his hands being cold, something inside me warmed.

This can’t be right. It isn’t right. He’s a vampire he’s just like the rest of them—

But he cares.

No. He doesn’t he just wants me to think he does.

But what if he truly does care?

“Why are you even trying to talk me down? Wouldn’t it be better for you to just give me the pills and then you get a drink?” It’s not like I didn’t have a plan B if he said no.

“How selfish do you think I am? I’m wounded.” He pulled my head onto his lap, his hands playing with tufts and braiding the longer pieces. “Who would want someone else to take their life for the sake of a meal?”

I averted my eyes. I sounded like a dick now. “I didn’t think of it like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. That seems to be a nasty habit that you’ll have to break.” He said. “And I have an idea that could be beneficial to both of us in the long term, if you’re interested.” His hand moved my head to look up. I could see his furrowed brow and soft smile. I felt the remaining fears I had slowly dissipate.

“Yeah?”

“You can stay with me. I think I would miss you if you were gone.”

“You… You would?”

“Of course, I would. You’re full of untapped potential. And I think I could help ease those pains preventing them from coming to fruition.” He smiled. “All you have to do is say yes~.”

I slowly sat up, taking in his words.

He could make you feel wanted. You didn’t need to run anymore.

“I…”

You could have someone take care of you and like you for you, isn’t that all you’ve wanted? Someone who knows how to make things better? Someone who can save you?

“I think… I would like that.”

His smile reached his eyes. “As would I, my dear.” He hoisted me onto his lap. “Now, to seal the deal.” He unbuttoned the top few buttons of my uniform and removed my identification collar. “Have you ever been bitten directly?”

I shook my head.

“Now don’t worry. It won’t hurt for long. Like a pinprick.” He gave my nose a small bop. “Like a more organic needle. Just, try not to squirm too much. I don’t want to accidentally rip your internal carotid, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that either.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay…” I tried to calm my nerves. “okay I can do this.”

He placed his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me to his chest. “On the count of three, alright?”

I flexed my fingers, trying to ease my nerves. “Alright…”

“One…”

I felt his warm breath on my neck, making me tense.

He rubbed my head with his free hand. “Two…”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Three.”

It was much more painful than he had said. It felt like two spears digging perpendicularly into my skin. Slow and agonizing. I gripped his coat tightly. His hands continued to attempt to soothe me.

“Shhh~ The pain won’t last much longer.” He cooed. I could feel his lips moving on my skin at he talked.

The pain didn’t go away, but something arose within. The area where his fangs pierced me grew numb. I could still feel his fangs in my skin, its presence foreign. But it wasn’t uncomfortable.

It felt like warmth and welcome, if those feelings could resonate inside. My mind grew foggier. Pleasantly ignorant. I couldn’t hear anything else but the faint slurping and my own heartbeat. It was nice. I felt my eyes roll back and my body grow weaker. I gave Ferid’s coat a fatigued tug.

He pulled away slowly, and I whined at the loss. I slumped against his shoulder, the last of my remaining strength left along with his fangs.

His hand moved from the back of my head to my shoulders. He stood up with me in his arms. My eyes fought to stay open. I saw the faint image of Ferid’s face with a small stream of blood falling from his lips.

The light from the candle illuminated the space behind him, bathing him in a heavenly glow. He seemed a little livelier than before, too.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I tried to get a word out, but it came out a strangled whimper.

He smiled and shook his head, tutting softly. “I think I took too much, don’t you?” He walked down the hall with my limp body in his arms.

Ferid arrived in a large bedroom and placed me neatly under the covers and tucked me in. He sat next to me on my left side. He brushed a few stray hairs from my face and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.

“I do believe you need your rest. I’ll be back when you wake, my dear. I promise.” His hand moved from my forehead to my cheek as he gave it one final caress.

In my failing consciousness, I heard a gentle laugh

“Sleep well my lamb you’ll feel better in the morning. You’ll never feel empty again.”

And in the enveloping darkness, I saw him smirk.

#yandere seraph of the end #yandere ferid #ferid bathory #yandere owari no seraph #yandere writing #reader insert #yandere vampire

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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*Cackling* Now rank your ot3's!

*long sigh*

SECTION 1:

Yes, there are sections, this is a list of 20 things. I like to be organized. These ones I seek out. I like them. I actively enjoy them on purpose.

1. Roloceit: My BOYS. Are these my 3 favorites? perhaps. You can't prove anything (you sure can, just look at my goddamn Ao3). Something about the dynamics here is just...so good for me? The combination of fluff/angst/multi-talented braincells is wonderful. I need these three to watch a documentary and tear it to absolute pieces. Also they would be so good at...actually having methods of supporting each other??? I love them.

2. Analogince: in the same vein, the SNARK. THE SASS. THE GROUPCHAT THAT WE ALL KNOW EXISTS THAT IS SOO OVERLOADED WITH SALT THAT IT'S A DEHYDRATION RISK. Also healthy communication??? supportive signifs??? good shit

3. Anxcietmus: The Dark Sides™. Again, I think these three just get each other. That means great fluff and great angst possibilities ABOUND and especially when it comes to being a menace in the rest of the mindscape. Yes. Good. Have fun.

4. Intruloceit: Someone please make this nerd take a fucking break for once. The chaos of leading what you THINK is a stuck-up buttoned-up nerd only to feel such an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror at discovering a TRUE mad scientist. Yes. Logan deserves to go ape-shit. Let him.

5. Analoceit: Did someone ask for some amused gay judgement? You got the whole scale here, Distinguished, Functional, and Disaster. They don't need the group chat because they can do it with just a look. Perfect. Wonderful.

6. Intruloxiety: slightly less snark, which is why it's ranked lower, but I don't think it would be any less supportive. Between the three of them I think they'd have a conversation about boundaries right up front and constantly be checking in with each other. Which is good!! Please do this!!

7. Loroyality (am i making up some of these names as I go? yes): The Light Sides™! The reason this is ranked lower is because I think they've got some in-canon struggles that would take some time and effort (from errybody) to sort out before I would consider this relationship healthy, but after that? Forget it. We vomiting sushine and rainbows and our teeth hurt from how sweet they are. I have faith in them.

8. Royaliceit: *sniff sniff* did someone say ANGST??? This is the only one I put up here that I mainly look for to get angst because BOY HOWDY. Especially post-POF? Roman you poor thing why do I project so strongly onto you, my god. This is a MESS and they need to do WORK to FIX IT but it's all about the misunderstanding and the healing and oh my god please someone tell Roman his worth is not based on how well his work is received please. Also if you're like me and you subscribe to the headcanon that the last time Patton and Janus agreed on something it was to stay in the closet as long as possible...*choo choo bitches angst town here we come*

SECTION 2:

These ones I don't actively seek out but you know?? For a headcanon post? They seem pretty chill. Haven't devoted a lot of brainpower to 'em, just think they're neat.

9. Moloceit (my keyboard is so confused you guys): Now THIS. THIS is the obnoxious trio of philosophy majors that ALWAYS hog the good library table. Someone will say ONE GODDAMN thing and they'll be talking about ontology and subjectivity for hours. It's impossible to tell whether or not they're being serious when they do it. As a most-definitely-not-a-philosophy-student, no. I mean, yes but no.

10. Anaroceit: you know those fucking divas that strut into the mall like they own the goddamn place? These bastards. They are the Heathers (except actually decent people) and you will not get between them and their purchases. If you come after one of them the other will overprotective the fuck out of them and rip you to shreds. You might be worried sometimes that they're hurting each other but they do actually talk about their boundaries. solid 7/10.

11. Analogicality: (whoa, we're halfway there...): These three just seem like they'd be super domestic. Not that it wouldn't also be adorable, but just kinda...routine? Virgil doesn't like new shit, Logan likes a schedule, and Patton enjoys doing things together in 'traditions.' Some spice but they're all fairly level-headed so...the most they get is screaming out songs with the windows down (WHOA LIVIN' ON A PRAYER)

12: Intrulogicality: You know those scenarios where you got Person A who runs headlong into crazy bullshit, Person B who likes to pretend they're not as into the crazy bullshit as Person A but is, and Person C who gets dragged into shit? There you go.

13: Anxmoceit: I think once they all sat down and had a conversation they might actually be decent??? But I can't stop seeing Patton and Janus coparenting Virgil so it stays platonic in my head. (listen i don't kinkshame but i am aroace, that does limit me a bit when it comes to this bag of nonsense)

14. Intrumoceit: Again, LONG conversation, but it's better to have one crazy dumbass whom you both love but please stop giving up heart attacks every two seconds bb we can't deal with these palpitations. I think this would require SO much work on Patton's end to make this healthy that I can't see it very clearly.

15. Intrumoxiety: This one I put down here because while Janus isn't the best at being straightforward (or straight) he DOES understand himself enough to actually have a productive conversation when he has to. I think Virgil would be too caught up between the dynamic of Patton and Remus for it to be healthy for him, especially at the beginning. It would end up dumping too much of the conflict resolution into his court and uh...no. No thanks. Do I think they COULD make it work? Yes, of course, but I wouldn't seek it out.

16. Anaroyality: Uhhh yeah they exist. Y'all gotta do some work to establish good boundaries but yeah, I think you could do it. Have a makeup day where everybody just fucks shit UP at a Sephora or an Ulta and try crazy looks on each other. You could do it. I believe in you.

SECTION 3:

These are the ones I will actively avoid, more often than not. If they're not handled carefully--which is not the responsibility of other creators, I take full blame, this is just how I personally interpret them--they can squick me out. The ones with Roman and Remus are down here, and as a disclaimer, this isn't because I view poly relationships where not all parties are dating each other as inherently inferior, not at all. I just think that within a relationship where both Roman and Remus are dating the same person, that has the potential to go REAL bad REAL quick.

17. Intrulogince: Do I want to see Roman and Remus playfully competing to win the favor of our favorite nerd? yes. Do I think it would end up aggravating the rivalry they already had to really bad places? Also yes. Either with Roman backing off and internalizing the idea that he's not good enough or by exploding on both of them. It's a bad time. No. That being said, I have seen things where Logan is just spoiled by incredible things made in the Imagination and those are very sweet. a good time.

18. Intruprinxiety (that looks so weird when it's spelled out, oh my god it sounded so much better in my head): Again, exacerbating a pre-existing rivalry, oh dear me, and this time poor Virgil's caught in the middle? a mess. There is also the potential for them to be childhood friends to lovers which would be very sweet but the overlap with all of their combined histories are...a lot of baggage. Like so much.

19. Intruroceit: The only way I can see this happening is Roman's inadequacy issues and abandonment issues going THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF and it would force Remus into being a pseudo-therapist for them and Janus your habit of messing with Roman needs to gtfo right the fuck now.

20. Intruroyality: is anyone surprised that this one is my least favorite? Between the squicks I get from Patton as a character, the relationship between Patton and both of the twins in canon, and how much baggage Roman and Remus have...no. Absolutely not. I have horrible memories of some very toxic relationships that I can absolutely see here and no.

*phew* that was a long one. you're welcome.

EDIT: thank you @shinekittenace for names seriously this post is a mess

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #i do have opinions on the matter

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ghostnebula · 4 years

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Sincere and Dignified

“Eddie's twenty-first birthday + The entire Losers' Club + Las Vegas + Being in love with your best friend = Well, exactly what you'd expect.”

[read it on Ao3]

(or here)

Eddie’s birthday is in November. Which makes him the youngest member of the Losers’ Club. Which makes him the last Loser to turn twenty-one.

Which means they go all-out to celebrate, since it’s the first time they can all (legally) celebrate together. And because they’ve kind of forgone “proper” twenty-first birthday festivities for everyone else, so no one would ever feel left out. Finally, no one needs to be left out of it.

They’ve all been living together for over three years now, they’re all getting close to graduating from college, and they all saved up for this one, because this is pretty much it. The last big, fun, tangible milestone in their young lives. The last “new” thing they’re earning the right to do (legally) after driving and voting. You bet your ass they go ham on Eddie’s birthday plans.

That’s how they end up in Vegas. Several long weeks of planning, lots of money they scraped together into jars over the last few years ready to be spent, checking and double-checking every class syllabus to make sure no one misses anything important on Friday (they have to be at their hotel in time for check-in or, between Stan and Eddie, someone will pitch a fit). Then they’re all piling into Ben’s station wagon with as little luggage as they could manage to bring for a weekend trip (the station wagon is “spacious”; it is not a fucking miracle vehicle).

Roughly ten hours later (five hours for driving, two for check-in plus cramming all their crap into the motel room and then attempting to organize it, one for figuring out and agreeing on where to even start with the partying, two more for getting ready) Eddie Kaspbrak has his first legal drink as a proper twenty-one year old, on this night of November third, and there’s no aftertaste of guilt like usual. He’s got Richie pushing shots into his hands, Mike making sure he’s eating some snacks once in a while so he doesn’t get too trashed too fast, Bev directing bartenders to make the most delicious fucking drinks he thinks he’ll ever taste in his life (Porn Stars, or something else inappropriate like that).

He has Bill, the oldest, practically under oath to stay sober (at least for tonight) so there’s one semi-coherent Loser present to keep the rest of them safe and sane until he can drag them all back to the motel.

He has a wad of cash in his pocket, a chunk of his savings from the past year, ready to blow on booze and gambling and whatever the fuck he wants, because it’s his birthday, so he’s allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants.

It’s safe, and more importantly, it’s legal, and most importantly, it’s Vegas. He never thought he’d ever have the balls to set foot in a place like this -- the kind of place his mother would demonize when he was a kid. Drinking, before he left Derry and his mom and the vice grip she had on his life, was completely out of the question, let alone getting hammered in a casino in Sin City, of all fucking places, under the care of the “evil little shits” he calls his best friends.

He more than lets loose. He lets twenty-one years of virtually non-stop anxiety unwind in one night.

When he wakes up the next morning, hung over for the first time in his life, it’s almost worth it. Bill’s the only motherfucker awake already, being that he’s the only one who doesn’t have several bottles of vodka et al. to sleep off, and he’s draped across the ratty arm chair in their ratty motel room, channel-surfing with the television volume as low as it can get. The light burns Eddie’s eyes, still, when he lifts his head and -- instead of turning, his head just kind of lolls on his shoulders until he can look at Bill properly.

He wants to ask him to end his suffering, which he can only assume he has yet to see the worst of. Suddenly he understands why aspirin exists. He wants Bill to pump him full of painkillers until he stops feeling like he’s made of electrified cotton. Instead, he says, articulately, “Guh.”

Bill turns his attention from Scooby-Doo to where Eddie is half-lying, trapped under the weight of Richie’s arm and half his chest. Richie is snoring away, glasses askew on his face, a cooling puddle of drool soaking Eddie’s shoulder. It’s gross, but he can’t really complain at this point. He’s accustomed to it by now.

“Ah, he lives.”

“Ugh,” says Eddie.

“I bet,” says Bill. “So, do you want a recap of the events of last night, or did you keep your promise and remember every life-altering decision you chose to make?”

Bill’s voice, which he’s hardly putting much effort into keeping down -- owing to the fact that all his effort is being channeled into trying not to laugh, and Eddie can’t even begin to fathom what’s so funny -- is causing the other Losers to stir. His splitting headache doesn’t want him to try to figure out what’s funny. He must have fried a metric shitload of braincells with all those Porn Stars last night, or whatever the fuck sugary booze Bev was pouring down his throat before everything went hazy.

“Life-altering?” he repeats after a few moments, as Richie’s arm finally stops crushing him. It’s the only word that really stands out to him in the jumbled mess of hangover discomfort his brain is fighting, and it should cause him anxiety but he’s more worried, right now, about drinking some water. Richie sits up beside him, yawning.

Bill hums. He looks terribly pleased with himself, which can be good or bad depending which side of the story you’re on, and Eddie’s got this sneaking suspicion he’s on the wrong side, here. “Yeah, that life-altering thing I tried to talk you two dipshits out of for longer than the actual ceremony took?”

“Ceremony?” Eddie asks, trying to feel back through his poor, poor brain to remember anything after slot machines and vibrant chatter and deceptively sweet beverages being passed to him. Richie’s head drops onto his shoulder as his arms wrap around Eddie’s waist. “Guh,” he says into the fabric of Eddie’s rumpled shirt. Habitually, Eddie reaches up to pat him consolingly on the head. Richie’s not one for mornings.

“Why don’t you take a look at your ring finger, birthday boy?” Bill says, but Eddie’s already frozen, because there was a flash when he raised his hand and he’s not entirely sure he’s believing what he’s seeing, and where the fuck did he even get the ring anyway, let alone a ring as nice as this? “Or, sorry, I should say: Mr. Tozier?”

Eddie... mostly ignores him, in favour of smacking Richie a few times on the skull to get his attention, hangovers be damned. “Richie,” he hisses, heart going a mile a minute. “The fuck did I do?”

Richie grumbles some kind of complaint, lifting his head from its safe space on Eddie’s shoulder, and when he follows Eddie’s gaze he lets out a kind of... laugh? More of a squawk, really. His left arm jerks off of Eddie’s waist lightning-quick, and then he’s holding up his own hand beside Eddie’s to show off their matching rings. “Oh my god,” he says, quiet (for Richie). A little bit of tension melts out of him. Then, “I think you mean, ‘the fuck did we do?’”

“Oh my god,” Eddie squeaks, and Bill loses his battle and dissolves into peals of laughter, remote slipping out of his hands and landing somewhere on the floor. “Bill, you were supposed to be babysitting.”

It takes a while, but Bill manages to regain his composure long enough to say, “Well forgive me, but you were a man on a mission. I distinctly remember a lot of, ‘we’re practically dating anyway’ and ‘no time like the present’ and ‘Bill, if you don’t step the fuck off I’m gonna shove this ring so far up your nostril you’ll be sneezing gold until you’re ninety.’ What was I gonna do about it?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie says again, red-faced, mortified, heart still going-going-going. They aren’t dating, though, is the problem, and yeah, he’s always had this stupid little idea in his stupid little head that they might as well be, but he’s never asked, because he wasn’t sure if he should. Wasn’t sure if it was safe. Wasn’t sure if Richie wanted something proper or to just stay very, very close friends until the grave. They weren’t dating, and now they’re married, and ohJesusMaryandJoseph why did he let himself get so drunk last night?

He doesn’t expect Richie to be resentful or anything, but he’s also an anxious mess by default, and post-drunken-haze Eddie is a different, apparently less chill person than mid-drunken-haze Eddie, because he doesn’t remember having this freakout last night.

He doesn’t think that Richie will be pissed about it, necessarily, but he’s terrified that Richie’s going to want to... undo this, somehow.

He expects regret.

He doesn’t expect Richie to slide his hand against Eddie’s so that their rings clack together, letting out a soft little, “Aw,” as he does so, or to press his scratchy, stubbly face against Eddie’s cheek to plant a kiss there, or to say, just as quiet and soft as ever, “We’re married, Eds.”

“Is that okay?” Eddie asks, heart in his throat, wondering if he somehow forced Richie into this when he wasn’t in full control of his faculties.

“More than okay,” Richie says. “Is it okay with you?”

Eddie nods dumbly, staring at their rings again, wondering what the fuck possessed them to make such a rash, life-altering decision like this, yet understanding all too well that his love for Richie is too big to contain and it has to spill out in little doses like this, or it’ll probably kill him, or make him go crazy. “Yeah,” he says finally, nodding perhaps too fast. “Yeah, Richie, it’s more than okay.”

He turns in Richie’s arms to kiss him properly, apparently not for the first time, and just the action brings a couple snippets of last night’s escapades abruptly to the surface.

“$25 Weddings,” a pink neon sign outside a squat white chapel proclaims, “Sincere and Dignified.” And below that, in smaller, baby blue lettering: “Can provide: Flowers, Rings, Witnesses, Transportation, Attire...” The list goes on. It’s a wonder Eddie is coherent enough to read it, let alone comprehend it, but he’s rounding on Richie, whose arm he’s hanging off of, with the best fucking idea already leaping from his lips.

“Ffffffuck Kaspbrak,” Eddie slurs as a reluctant Bill helps him slip on a suit jacket, fiddling with the purple clip-on bowtie Richie threw over the divider at him. “Fuck Kaspbrak, right, Rich?”

“Right,” Richie says enthusiastically -- probably too enthusiastically -- from the other side of the thin wooden divider that separates their “changing rooms.”

“Fuck that name,” Eddie decides, nodding to himself. Bill takes the bowtie out of his hands with a sigh, and Eddie lifts his chin to let Bill fasten it to his shirt, grumbling all the while about how stupid they both are. “And fuck my mom.”

“Fuck your mom!” Richie shouts. There’s a beat of relative quiet, then, “Not, like, fuck your mom, obviously. Fuck... you, maybe?” And then Bev’s raucous laughter echoes through the whole room.

Eddie can’t help laughing with her, even though Bill’s insisting he stay still “so you can at least look semi-presentable for your pictures, c’mon, Eddie, this is a big moment for me, too.”

“How are you the bridezilla, here, Bill?”

“Could you please just work with me here, I swear to-- agh!” (More laughter from Bev. Stan saying something incomprehensible but loud and boisterous. Mike trying to shush them.) “I’m just trying to make sure this is actually special since you absolute buffoons refuse to just wait and do this right.” Is Bill fucking crying?

Richie’s tongue down Eddie’s throat, over and over and over: in the chapel; in a bar; in front of the bar; just before Bill drags them away from the casino they’re trying to sneak back into and instead towards the station wagon he’s doing his best to herd the Losers to; in the station wagon; in front of the motel.

Bill prying them apart with minimal assistance from a piss-drunk Ben who insists he’s “helping,” telling them once again that they are not allowed to consummate their fucking marriage in public, and especially not allowed to do it in the motel room all seven of them have to sleep in--

He hears Bev’s little “aww” behind him somewhere as he and Richie break apart, and Stan’s grief about how fucking early it is “for this shit.” Eddie can hear something like a smile in his voice, if not just plain old amusement.

“We’re married, Rich,” Eddie repeats incredulously, and Bill is saying something about their marriage license in his wallet because neither of them can be trusted, but Eddie couldn’t care less about licenses or whatever, because Richie’s smiling down at him in that way that makes his heart feel too full. And he doesn’t mean to, but a choked noise bubbles up out of him, almost a sob, maybe a laugh. Tears burn in his eyes.

But that’s alright, because Richie’s crying already, and he wraps himself bodily around Eddie, rolling them over so he’s squishing him into the mattress while he kisses all over his face and his throat until Eddie’s squealing with laughter despite his agonizing hangover. He almost feels too good to care about it now, but he’s definitely getting some water and painkillers into his system the second the weird high he’s feeling subsides.

“Okay, okay,” says Stan, standing above them suddenly, swatting at Richie’s shoulders. “You’ve had your fun. Noisy assholes. We were too drunk for proper congratulations last night. Move over.”

All the Losers squeeze themselves onto the queen bed, somehow, and water bottles and aspirin get passed around. At some point Bill gets up to start the coffeemaker and comes back with (good fucking lord) their “wedding photos” in a crisp manila envelope. They’re just as gaudy as he expected. Leave it to Richie to find the ugliest possible outfit for his literal wedding.

Eddie gets hugs and shoulder-squeezes and cheek-kisses from everyone, over and over, and Bev actually cries for about ten full minutes while she holds him, then at least ten more while she holds Richie, and then Ben cries, and... well, they all end up crying all over each other, but it’s awash with joy. “We’re happy for you,” they keep saying, and Eddie’s happy for them, too. He didn’t expect to accidentally do things this way, but he has to be glad it happened.

“God,” he says a while later, shaking his head as he sips sugary coffee from the mug he and Richie are sharing (this room is meant for four people, max, not seven, and is equipped accordingly). He’s still examining a picture of Richie attempting to give him a piggy-back ride out of the chapel. Bill is visible in the background, eyes red and puffy, a wad of tissues clenched in his hand while Mike tries to console him. Eddie has been making fun of him for about half an hour now. “My mom would flip if I told her about this.” But the thought doesn’t scare him. He doesn’t get scared of her anymore. Not like he used to. Not when he’s so far away and he feels so safe with these six idiots who bring so much joy to his life.

Richie’s thumb rubs over the skin of his lower back where his hand has crept up Eddie’s shirt. “Good thing you don’t have to,” he says, and that familiar mantra of “You never have to see her again,” bleeds through, plain as ever.

Eddie hums. Passes the coffee back to him. “I know. But... I kinda want to. Just to watch her head explode,” he says with a shrug and a grin, earning a chorus of easy laughter from his friends. He stares at the ring on Richie’s finger as Richie throws back the rest of their coffee, something warm and familiar blooming brighter in his chest.

#reddie #my writing #oh look i actually found time in the chaos of my life to post this #a miracle #also a fic short enough to just post the whole thing on tumblr???#a second miracle #the losers club #cw alcohol #cw gambling #vegas wedding babey

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thehuns-bubble-tea · 4 years

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So guess who finally wrote the SaiZon essay I promised months ago! @there-is-a-carrot-in-my-ear’s post was the last bit of encouragement I needed so thanks for that lol.

I am going to go episode by episode to talk about all the SaiZon scenes. I am using the official LineTV episodes and some of the translations are a bit weird so I will have to occasionally make assumptions with the dialogue, sorry in advance for that. If I happen to assume wrong or make stretch conclusions forgive me for I only have one brain cell and it’s currently bouncing around my head like a window’s screensaver. I am also going to mention some of the behind the scenes episodes so if you haven’t seen those you might be slightly confused, but I don’t have international links for them so I apologize! Also this ended up being 18 pages long- I AM SORRY.

So let’s start with part one of episode one shall we? The beginning starts off weird as hell, honestly I had forgotten how crack this show was after the last few episodes were so- normal? Anyway we are dropped off in Zon’s dream(???) where he sees Tutor and Fighter being cute, and then an absolute precious Saifah- except it is really weird to start off here. This dream doesn’t seem to belong at the beginning because nothing that sets up this dream has happened yet, which I only realized as I rewatched it. Zon doesn’t know about Tutor and Fighter’s relationship until episode 11 and he doesn’t actually know Saifah yet, so to have Zon have this dream as the literal introduction to the show is a bit of either foreshadowing or referencing the idea that this whole show is a dream/Zol’s novel which I think is quite interesting. I don’t have much else to say about this besides I am incredibly impressed with how well this scene garners interest- it’s like I’m watching for the first time again and I /need/ to understand what is going on. Also the animated Zon freaking out about Saifah getting too close? Mood.

There was no SaiZon part in part two so moving on to part three of episode one! This part starts off with Saifah playing the guitar surrounded by a bunch of girls and Zon walking up from behind, seeing him. As much as I would like to say “love at first sight” this is definitely not that- in fact Zon straight up tells the girls they don’t like each other. Which is fair honestly, these two at the beginning don’t seem to have anything in common. Saifah is an engineering student while Zon is a english(literature???) student so they wouldn’t be able to get close through classes and they don’t seem to share many face value interests (Sai with guitar and soccer, Zon with writing and generally “nerdy” stuff) so it would be easy for them both to write each other off. Definitely not a “I hate him” but more of a “I don’t know him and I don’t want to” kinda situation where unless outside forces brought them together they wouldn’t have even considered entering each other’s lives. So shout out to Tutor and Soda for being mvps! This part also gives us the iconic moment of Zon literally standing on a table to fight Saifah and like??? Hello??? The tension already here is so much- but here’s the thing! Why R U has set up their relationship to be that of “enemies” up to this point, so when you first watch it you’re like “hm Sai is trying to get a rise out of Zon because he thinks it is funny because they hate each other” but what Sai says isn’t necessarily mean. Yes Sai does tease Zon about being bad at everything, but after that he just flutters his eyelashes, calls himself cute, and does that cute little smile up at Zon. There is no real hurt behind his words, if that makes sense? It is very much a teasing jeer at Zon to get a reaction, and the second Zon stands on the table Sai smiles and seems to take pride at the action. He isn’t doing it out of hatred or evil, but more like the joy of seeing Zon riled up. Sai blames his actions on disliking Zon because of reasons they’re currently only alluding to but like- bro get over it? There’s no reason for Sai to act like that if that was his only motive so I call his bluff, he has to already be somewhat interested in Zon. Even if it’s not a crush yet he definitely enjoys Zon’s reactions enough to keep pressing buttons.

Finally the end of episode one with part four. Finally! The, also iconic, punch to kiss scene! Sai is smooching the girl Zon is pursuing, it’s upsetting for Zon and Sai is kinda rude about it- then WHAM. Zon, the absolute unit that he is, just fucking decks Saifah. When I tell you I screamed- This is especially important because the thing that finally makes Zon snap is Saifah’s “no one can like you” comment which is so hurtful and man he’s gonna eat his words you can just /feel/ it already. And the punch is completely valid because what Sai did was shitty and honestly Zon had every right to be mad so great moment 10/10. Then we have Sai try to retaliate and first off he misses like a huge dork and then he kinda trips into Zon which leads to them accidentally kissing. Logistically I don’t know how this happened, but who am I to complain? This is of course also Sai’s first experience with a Zontm reaction and that I think is what causes the shift in Saifah’s head. After that huge exposition piece we have Zon dreaming about Saifah in his bed talking about them being together. All I’m gonna say is- is it gay to dream about your not bro wanting to kiss you? The answer is probably yes.

No SaiZon for parts one or two of episode two, but part three gives us a bit to cover! First off- the elevator line scene where Saifah literally stares at Zon with the absolute best puppy eyes and lovesick smile is peak cuteness, like?? Hello??? This is the perfect example of what I mean when I say SaiZon were never enemies- like I can’t imagine hating someone and then letting them shoulder bump me with a “hi”. That’s not how enemies act, this is more of a “well we haven’t always gotten along but I’m willing to move on, here let’s try again” type of situation and it’s fucking adorable. Sai seems confident in his own teasing way and Zon is confused as heck, which is so valid. Mind you this is also several months after their accidental kiss so any hot blooded emotions surrounding them has definitely dissipated which means there is now room for them to grow and initiate a friendship, which is what I assume Sai is trying to do. This is also the first time we get “my Zon” and I swear everytime I hear it I astral project into another dimension, so there’s that. Also Sai fulling embracing the fact that these girls ship them is peak bi confidence (I read Saifah as a bi character don’t @ me lmao), that I can only wish to have. Like Sai seems to already genuinely like being around Zon, lightly teasing. I say this because nothing he said was a dig at Zon harshly but more like something I would say about my friends to get them to give me a funny reaction and he gets exactly that. Zon gives him a reaction and then as soon as he’s gone Sai has this very pleased smile on his face. It really feels like Saifah has already decided that he wants to have some sort of relationship with Zon, at this point I wouldn’t call it a crush yet but more like a casual friendship. Then we have Zon daydreaming about Sai asking him to be partners for the music competition thing and again I’m going to ask- is it gay to daydream about your not bro pouting and wanting to be partners? The answer is probably yes.

Part four of episode two gave us no SaiZon so we move on to part one of episode three! We get a tiny bit of animated Sai talking about flirting with Zon, Zon freaking out you know- the usual. But then we get the stair scene that haunts me. Sai has committed to calling Zon “my Zon” already and I am here for it. His fucking smile after he says it too- boy is enjoying himself. The two fight over whether or not Zon will play with Sai or not and progressively lean into each other’s spaces as they bicker back and forth. Which is valid- Zon doesn’t even know how to play and then to be asked to play with someone he doesn’t really know or get along with, I’d say no too. Anyway Tutor breaks them up drags Sai to class, but not before Sai can say goodbye to “N’Zon” which just really threw me and Zon to be honest. I love that Sai is fully committed to these nicknames and I love how flustered Zon gets because of them- they’re already starting to fall into an ease with each other. Quick note here Saifah tells Tutor that he likes teasing Zon because it makes him happy, which is kinda cute? We see Sai play around with Tor and Day a bit but the way he is with them is vastly different then when he’s with Zon. Again I wouldn’t quite call it a crush yet- but we’re getting there. For now it seems more like an enamoured fascination with this dork of a human. (also real quick side note but I love Soda and would gladly let her step on me--)

Part two of episode three gives us yet another iconic scene- I have dubbed it the gay painc shower scene for obvious reasons. First of all, props to Zon for even grabbing Sai’s towel for him. Like they might not be close, and Sai might tease Zon relentlessly, but Zon is a genuinely good person and I really like that about his character. He doesn’t even hesitate to ask “which one” so he can do that for Sai. But of course Sai has to be a little brat and try to pull Zon into the shower stall with him, causing Zon’s first almost heart attack. Then he crowds Zon up against the wall with the most sensual look and teases him by attempting to remove his towel, giving Zon almost heart attack number two- Sai is seriously a brat and I love it. The funniest part is that this, from my experience at least, is common locker room teasing which Zon clearly wouldn’t know since he’s not in the soccer club- so having Sai do this to him is clearly a point where Zon’s single working braincell goes into gay panic and just short circuits his system and once again that’s valid. Zon tells Sai no matter what he won’t play with him, man these two eat their own words a lot huh, and Sai tells him it’s really up to him. Also side note here I know Junior did this in hopes of getting Sai to convince Zon to do the talent show thingy but I fully head cannon that Junior realizes there’s /something/ going on between them and forced them into this position, do with that what you will. There is also behind the scene footage of this scene (I can’t find an international link to this specific one rip) but it shows Jimmy and Tommy fake biting each other’s fingers and it’s so cute and weird- anyway all this to say I think this is where we start to see a shift in Saifah’s attitude. He’s the one who mentions being partners, mentions kissing, and Zon being a shy Korean drama lead- he’s a huge romantic so this is where he steps up a bit more. Instead of being just a tease in the way Zon acts it is now a tease about them together, being together, testing waters almost. It’s a huge shift if you really think about it, the only thing that stays constant is Zon’s flustered reactions.

Part three of episode three once again delivers with panic gay Zon being a fucking dork. This is where we get that ridiculous moment in the bathroom when Zon thinks two dude are doing the do in a stall and presses Saifah into a wall, you know casually. This scene is so weird and just ??? why??? Saifah takes in all in stride though, this kid is seriously getting whipped quick and I relate. Zon just has such chaotic energy that it’s hard not to play along, no matter how mortifyingly embarrassing he is. Also can we talk about how every time Zon leaves an interaction with Saifah, Sai gets the biggest smile? Like that is so precious I can’t handle it, boy is WHIPPED and doesn’t even know it yet!

Part four gives us a little bit of SaiZon. Zon is distracted by his text conversation (this is not translated so I have no clue what’s being said or who he’s talking to rip) when Saifah comes up behind him. This looks so domestic- like you don’t just do that to someone you barely know, right? Also the fact that Sai can lean over Zon so far when Zon is just sitting is stressful to me. Who gave him the right to be /that/ tall? Anyway Zon goes to stand and Saifah scares him, causing him to trip backwards and have the first of many time where Sai holds Zon up and it’s romantic as heck- They both instantly know where to hold each other, and then gaze at each other’s faces I just ??? I’m short circuiting honestly. This is also the first indication to me that Sai is developing some form of feelings because he keeps looking at Zon’s eyes and lips, and that’s valid. Of course Zon ruins the mood by pushing him away but they both look hurt this time. Sai looks hurt even asking if Zon’s serious about not playing together and it’s the first time we see Sai be any bit vulnerable. He seems to genuinely hurt by the idea and it makes Zon shuffle a bit before leaving. Even when he’s gone Sai looks upset and even comments on how Zon falls easily- which is really cute. This is our first glimpse at the Saifah that seems a bit more like the hopeless romantic we get towards the end of the series, a stark contrast to the overly confident perfect boy persona he uses around the campus.

No SaiZon in part four of episode three or part one of four so on to part two- We get the music partner reveal! And to Zon’s credit he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. Instead he is actually committed to this and Sai, to his credit, doesn’t make him feel weird. They take the fan page photos and they’re both clearly out of their element here, they’re shy and awkward and it’s precious. They’re both coming to this realization that they’re really doing this- being partners and committing to each other basically. They both seem determined but also terrified of what that means. I love it- because this isn’t about them just yet but more of their shared responsibility to Soda now that they both can’t back down. It’s a good foundation because right now they’re on equal footing, neither really has the upper hand. Soda, my queen, to her credit is trying to get them to see that their arguing isn’t going to help anyone here and it’s a fair point. They’re going to be stuck together for two months (why was I under the impression this whole time it was much longer?) and they both agree to at least attempt. I love how genuinely awkward these scenes are because like I’ve said before they were never enemies but also never friends, they don’t know much about each other yet so it’s weird. What do they talk about, what are their boundaries, they don’t know and I love it. It is the perfect foundation for a fresh start for both of them to learn about each other and build a strong bond. We get a bit of Sai trying to teach Zon guitar strings and it’s a nice moment. They’re both getting comfortable with the other and then Sai plays the love song for Zon- you think Zon’s going to be set off by the moment but instead he teases Sai! He confidently both compliments Saifah and teases, it’s growth! Then Saifah settles to help Zon learn to strum, a moment where they’re very intimately pressed together and have an almost kiss. This is the first time they do the lip bite thing that I noticed they do when they think about kissing the other- and this is the first time that I think they realize their feelings aren’t just basic acquaintances. For Zon he feels something but he is also hung up on the idea that this is all Zol’s book. He is scared because he doesn’t know if these moments, these feelings are real or not. For Saifah I think he is really starting to understand how he feels for Zon, but thinks that Zon doesn’t and will not feel the same. But Sai isn’t the type to push so he just lets it go for now. Then we get the cute montage of them getting closer and teasing in more of a friendly way- again this is just solidifying in our minds and theirs that there is something growing between them. Right now it’s just a natural friendship, but is also hinting at more deep feelings. This is the part that I love the most about SaiZon- this was never a love at first sight relationship, it is one born out of something incredibly natural. They grow into each other and themselves. We start to see Saifah get more comfortable with his dorky side, and Zon gets more confident in himself because of their time together. It’s a breath of fresh air how easily they settle into the other’s presence. And of course we also get the gay pining bed scene and I, for the third time shall ask is it gay to daydream about your new bro laying in bed with you? The answer is probably yes.

Part three of episode four gives us the iconic guitar pick date (yes I understand I keep saying iconic but with SaiZon what isn’t?). This entire scene is just the cutest thing? They fall into each other so easily and they seem to have tons of fun goofing off. It reminds me of my friends and I going to shopping centers just to window shop and be together. It’s so incredibly natural and shows that they’re becoming so much closer then what they started out as. Nothing is over the top or unrealistic, instead it’s effortless and an absolute joy to witness. There’s even a deleted scene where two girls come up to ask for a photo (which is weird but whatever) and Zon gets so lost in his head about how close Saifah is- it really is a defining moment in my mind that Zon is torn. Torn between believing that his feelings are real and that this is all just being a dream from Zol’s novel. I kinda wish this scene hadn’t been deleted because it takes away from Zon’s internal struggle. When they have their little heart to heart and Zon admits that Sai is actually a good person my soul leaves my body. It is so cute and demonstrates that these two have started to grow past their initial judgements of each other and more into learning the intricacies of the other. Anyway it’s cute and I love them, moving on.

Now on to part four of episode four. This gives us the scene that fully convinces me that Saifah is just a big softly. Sai walks into the practice room to see a mess and Zon is asleep on the floor. Instead of being a brat and waking him up, Sai quietly goes around and cleans everything up because he is peak soft boy he just won’t admit it. When he does accidentally wake Zon they’re both just absolute cuties- the way Sai’s face falls when Zon said he was just kidding about wanting to wait for him- my boy is WHIPPED. But here’s the thing, and I’ll come back to this point in a bit but, the way Sai never pushes Zon on anything. It’s clear that Sai is really starting to crush on Zon the way he treats him and acts but any time Zon pulls away Sai just lets him. That’s so refreshing, especially in contrast to the way TorFight act in parallel to SaiZon. There is never an expectation for Zon to meet Sai’s desires and Sai takes only what Zon is willing to offer, and I appreciate it so much. Anyway their little collective panic when Sai tries to take Zon to his room is hilarious they’re both on such different pages and they really are just dorks. And then we have the typical in the rain sequence- oh my gosh- I love some good classic tropes and this is one of them. Once again we see Saifah just be an absolute romantic, he doesn’t even hesitate to take off his jacket to cover Zon and himself. I just- that’s peak romance for me my dudes. Both me and Sai are whipped and that’s just facts. Then Zon (somehow??) forgets how to stand on two legs and trips yet again and we have another close contact scene, but this time there noses touch and Zon’s reaction isn’t nearly as visceral as it has been- it’s almost like he likes the attention up until his mind thinks it’s too close to a novel and he gets scared.

On to episode five’s part one! Zon is finally in Sai’s room and we get the cute hair drying scene that Zon doesn’t appreciate as much as I do- anyway Zon is freaking out and Saifah doesn’t fully understand what he’s babbling on about but still gets his chance to tease. It is once again cute and effortless, I crave more of this (SaiZon special episode I’m looking at you). Sai is getting a bit more confident with his advances but always pulls back the moment Zon freaks, it’s completely them. And then we get them waking up in each other’s arms, the screaming, Zon being an absolute moron. This is why these two are /the/ couple for me. Like no one else could pull this scene off nearly as well as them, it’s great. Also Saifah pulling a 2Moons2 Kit and just yeeting Zon off the bed? Iconic, that’s it that’s the analysis.

Part two of episode five has a moment that’s not a SaiZon scene but I do feel like it’s important in their relationship- Zol tells (well lies but Zon doesn’t know that-) about changing the story after their promise/wish/curse. This is the point where Zon can finally take what he has been experiencing and feeling in for the first time with a clear head. It’s no longer “possibly” influenced by supernatural forces because of Zol. This is when Zon decides “oh this is real, these feelings are real”, and you can tell that the way Zon acts around Saifah is considerably more calm and open to Saifah’s advantages to a point. Occasionally he still talks about it everything being similar to a fiction but he isn’t held back by it nearly as much. Then we get SaiZon practicing in the music room again and being interrupted by Natee and Junior, they kinda make Zon nervous about the show- until Saifah steps in. He confidently tells Zon he believes in him and that he will be there for him and I just- oh my god?? That’s so soft and I swear Saifah is the biggest soft boy ever who is willing to do anything to lift Zon up and that’s precious. They really are slowly starting to get on the same page.

Moving on to episode six part two (this is where we start to see less SaiZon due to the pandemic limiting their filming time)! This episode gives us Zon asking Sai on a guitar buying date. And lemme tell you the way these two act? WHIPPED. They both get so shy and tease the other the perfect amount, they really have grown into each other in ways I don’t think any of us expected. The cute little happy dance they do when they agree and hang up? Boyfriends, just like ??? hello??? Mind you they agree to go the Saturday before the show so they have now spent almost the full two months together- I can’t even believe it. They have had this relationship grow for two months and we’ve only been able to see glimpses, just imagine what we don’t get to see! Anyway we see Saifah being peak baby all bundled up sharing headphones with Zon- which is like peak romance for me I won’t even apologize. And then the pure excitement Saifah has when Zon suggests he stays over at Saifah’s- WHIPPED. He even suggests that there might be something between them when Zon questions their closeness, but the moment Zon wants to change the subject Sai follows his lead, like I’ve mentioned before Sai is not one to ever push Zon for more because he respects Zon so much.

Part three of episode six gives us the rooftop scene! The lingering looks! “The stars are beautiful.”, “It is beautiful-” as Saifah looks at Zon with those soft eyes! THE GAYS ARE PINING. And then them playing together. I am crying??? I can’t even form sentences, I can’t analyze, I just am going to sit here for a moment and think about how this romance is goals. That’s it.

Part four is full of SaiZon just being huge teases. Saifah confidently pulls Zon into him, asking if Zon is afraid of falling in love with him and I just- the way Zon looks at Sai? He’s already in love, and no I don’t take criticism. That’s it, that’s the analysis.

Part one of episode seven is the scene that made me want to write this essay- we have Zon and Saifah in the most intimate scene yet for them. It really is just a back and forth between them that is simple and wholly them. And then it shifts- Zon is looking at Saifah so softly, and is easily going along with what Saifah is doing with no hang ups. Saifah is looking up at Zon like he’s hung the stars and it’s the perfect moment. “You’re being so obedient, be like this more often. I like it”, “I like it too”, even the music is just perfect, but right at the last second Zon looks away. “I didn’t mean I like you.” and Saifah clearly looks disappointed, everything leading up to this was pointing in this direction and it didn’t happen. Saifah very clearly has feelings, he isn’t even trying to be subtle anymore, but not once does Saifah push for more. He backs off and settles down into a level that matches Zon’s comfort zone, because he cares about Zon’s comfort more than his own feelings. They have a moment for the comfort to level out once again and then they’re back to their usual selves. They’re back onto an equal field where they’re both just being themselves together- and they have another almost kiss that Sai does try to play off. Zon is still a bit spooked but it is still another testament to Saifah’s respect of Zon’s boundaries. This is where yet another deleted scene happens that I desperately wish they kept- it shows Zon fast asleep grab at Saifah until he’s completely draped over him. Saifah holds him, very similarly to a scene we will get to shortly, and the smile on Sai’s face? This boy is so in love but also so careful with Zon’s limitations, that just being able to hold Zon is enough to put him at ease. And we were ROBBED of it. Why R U editors turn on your location, I just wanna talk-

Part two of episode seven gives us the most cursed scene that, like Zon, I wish I could forget. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it but the second hand embarrassment is excruciating so for the sake of my sanity I’m gonna kinda gloss over it? Zon sees Sai’s boner, it causes Zon’s single brain cell to explode, that’s it- MOVING ON. On the bright side it also gives us SaiZon’s first public performance together. I assume this is to hype up the actual show, I don’t really care, all I care about is how earnest Saifah is with Zon. Zon is terrified of performing and Saifah is there to cheer him on. He is willing to let Zon leave if it means Zon will be more comfortable and he genuinely doesn’t want to push Zon into anything. Zon finally calms down enough to agree to stay and sing- and then Saifah starts rubbing his hands to give some comfort. The dialogue in this scene will forever go down as one of my favorite exchanges ever- “Are you okay with having me beside you?” SAIFAH HONEY. This one sentence holds everything in it. Is it okay that Saifah tried to kiss him? Is it okay that he got turned on? Is it okay that Saifah clearly has some sort of feelings for Zon? AND ZON SAYS YES. I just, I will never recover. It’s a very cute moment that they share, a sort of understanding that they share now that doesn’t really change what they have already, just gives some clarity to their current situation. And then the performance they give? It’s wonderful. What more can I say?

And now we’re getting to the good stuff- episode eight, part one. Sai is able to sneak read a bit of Zon’s writing, Sai trying to make himself look not suspicious is so funny, but the absolute angle Zon lets him get away with it. Then they have a cute back and forth about Sai wanting to sleep over at Zon’s place, it’s precious and shows that since the last time Zon seems a bit more comfortable with the obvious flirting and even does some himself. “Otherwise I’ll kiss you.” Saifah being bold as fuck and Zon not running away? That’s what we call growth! Then when Saifah is actually at Zon’s home and they’re telling his parents about the music show they are in full support, Zon’s mother and Saifah both teasing him about his name’s meaning. It’s light hearted and fun and I appreciate how cool Zon’s parents seem to be with their son’s and Saifah’s relationship (thus far). But them being so okay with his joining the music show compared to how unsupportive about his writing hurts, both me and Zon. When they’re in his room Zon is visibly upset with how his parents have handled his passions and Saifah is doing his best to cheer him up. Giving him some comfort, and this is where he admits to reading a few chapters of Zon’s fiction and Zon looks shattered. He is so afraid it’s bad because no one will support him, encourage him until Saifah tells him he actually liked it. That if he wants to keep writing he can count on Saifah to read it and it’s so touching because Zon finally has someone who believes in him. They have this really longing moment of just staring into each other’s eyes and it’s so soft and just full of pining. EXCEPT once again there’s a deleted scene we were ROBBED of. (Why R U’s editing team is out to hurt me apparently) In the deleted scene there was supposed to be a kiss to end the longing stares, this would be their first real kiss. And as much as I would have /loved/ that I can understand wanting the other scene being /the/ moment, but it doesn’t make me wish this scene hadn’t been cut any less.

The next three parts of episode eight I’m going to talk about in one piece because it is basically one long scene that’s just cut into parts. (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) We have finally gotten to /the/ moment they’ve been leading up to this entire show, the music performance. When we start Zon is asleep and Saifah has arrived with food, trying to wake him up and only successful when he manages to kinda kiss Zon. They bicker a bit in their normal way, Zon whines about wanting an egg and Saifah gives his up happily. It's freaking adorable and the quality content I signed up for. Soda puts them in their performance outfits. They have a weird little fashion show that just makes me love Tommy and Jimmy with all my heart, you know the usual. And then the time gets closer to their performance- Zon is, rightfully, nervous and is having a little breakdown in front of Saifah who is trying his absolute best to calm him down. It’s a touching scene because you can tell that Sai doesn’t really know what to do to help but is seriously trying, and then Zon asks for some encouragement. Saifah wrapping his arms around Zon and hugging him is a scene that I will never recover from. Saifah is so confident in Zon’s skills and very clearly wants to perform with Zon that he’s willing to just hold the nervous kid in his arms until he calms down. It’s really touching and romantic and just perfect. It does the trick and they’re able to perform without a hitch. (I would like to say at this point I have been working on this essay for two days and have decided to throw alcohol into the mix so if I start going off the rails- whoops?) The actual concert is super lovely, like Tommy can sing don’t even @ me because I could listen to these two sing and nothing else and I would be completely happy with that, and when they go to do their thank you speeches my heart swells. Hearing Zon heartfully thank Saifah for doing this with him and then to hear Saifah ask every one to cheer for “my zon” one more time, it’s the pinnacle of romance. I don’t even think that they know how it looks to an outside viewer because they’re so lost in their own world. To them this wasn’t about the concert anymore but them proving themselves to each other, something so meaningful to them because without this moment being the huge lead up they would never have been anything more than people who shared mutual friends and “hated” each other. Without this concert neither would have taken steps to bring them closer, to this peak. And that is exactly what the concert is, it’s their peak because it’s the tipping point for their relationship. Any hesitation from either at this point would break it all down. And so when the two of them head backstage and they have this magical moment- this is it. Zon is complaining about the strings hurting his fingers so Sai softly blows on them to soothe the pain, it’s simple, quiet, and breathtaking. “Why are you so nice to me?” It's such a simple question, Zon’s eyes are filled with stars and he might not thinking that he’s going to get a good answer. “Because you already have my heart.” That’s it. Nothing Saifah could have said would top this. It leaves no questions, this is it for Saifah- he is throwing in everything at this moment and Zon just stares at him. He doesn’t flinch at the kiss Saifah leaves on his forehead, instead he puts his hands on Saifah’s cheeks and pulls him closer so he can kiss his nose. It’s not words that either need now because they just understand. They’ve taken the chance and it’s real now. Them just brushing noses in comfort is enough, but then they go all out. They /finally/ have their first /real/ kiss and it’s a culmination of everything they’ve been through and felt up until this point. I’m sure everyone has seen the behind the scenes clip of the pd calling them out for not following the script. Supposedly it wasn’t supposed to be so passionate but more of a quick peck, but this- what they gave us was nothing short of perfection. This kiss is a solidifier for everyone, especially Zon who has struggled internally this whole time about whether this is real or not. This is a confirmation that Zon’s feelings, now I might be reading a bit too into it/self projecting onto Zon, are valid. Zon and Saifah, as far as we know (I haven’t read the novel either btw), are presumably perceived as straight hell they may have thought they were straight up until they developed feelings for each other. Saifah develops his feelings confidently, he isn’t ashamed or shy about them. Like everything else in his life he takes it and makes it his own and that is completely valid. But for Zon it is a struggle the whole way through. He’s scared and he overthinks, over analyzes everything, and shys away from Saifah’s advances until now- a common theme found in many unsure/closeted queer kids. And THAT is also valid. They’re both so completely different and yet they fit together in ways that I don’t even think they knew was possible. The way they play off each other, can read the other, knows what to do or say- it’s the perfect amount of them.

Episode nine is purely TorFight and part one of episode ten gives us only crumbs of SaiZon, but they are crumbs I would die for. It’s a couple of minutes of a sleepy Zon being cuddled by Saifah. Nothing fancy, nothing overly sexual, just the domestic bliss of these two holding each other. Once again it’s a testament to how made they are for each other. In any other drama (and I say this with affection to all the other bls I have consumed) this wouldn’t fly- this slow progression isn’t the norm for these types of shows and that’s why it’s so damn refreshing. Saifah in all his suave bad boy persona, is truly just a hopeless romantic that wants to hold his boyfriend in his arms for as long as he wants. Zon for all his shy avoidance of anything romantic, just enjoys having Saifah by his side. There is no one party pushing for more, no one party aggressively making moves that are unwanted. It’s just these two content in taking it slow and basking in the warmth of it,

Again for episode eleven we only get a little bit of SaiZon in part four, but that’s fine. It’s especially fine because it’s like every good sick fic I’ve ever read put into canon. Need I say more? It’s soft and cute, Saifah being a whiny sick baby while Zon takes care of them is peak devastation. I really have nothing to say here except thinking about this scene gives me a hundred and one fic ideas and melts my cold dead heart. Moving on.

Episode twelve has a bit of SaiZon but outside of them being totally whipped and wearing matching outfits to the beach I don’t have anything to say? Like I could just scream about the fact that they’re cute but if you’ve made it this far I would hope you already know that, so I’m gonna carry on to episode thirteen- hope you don’t mind!

The finale- episode thirteen. Once again I’m going to just talk about it as a whole rather than split it up because this episode also follows like one central moment in time rather than having huge time breaks in between. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4) Now we can get into the quintessential moments that define why I think SaiZon is one of the most superior relationships in media I’ve ever consumed. We are thirteen episodes in, we know these characters. They have grown into each other in front of us and this episode shows it in such a poetic way. When Sai and Zon get to their room at the hotel Sai is quick to tease Zon about his “duty” (for future reference if I ever hear someone say duty in reference to sex I might just cry) that night and of course in typical Zon fashion he gets a little antsy. But it doesn’t stop there like it would have earlier, instead Zon uses his nerves to turn the tables. He initiates a kiss with Saifah! Leaving both Saifah and I stunned in the process before teasing and dragging him out for their cute little beach date montage. Now mind you I am gay and love the beach so this shit hits hard for me. Like they’re being your typical love sick characters, Saifah stealing a few cheek kisses to Zon’s surprise, they goof off on a boat(?), they have those dumb couples clothes on- it’s really over the top cute like what else can I say. You want proof love exists? Here you go. Anyway they’re cute, it’s lovely, moving on. They have, I can only imagine this as a very strange double date, dinner with TorFight some bickering happens- again your typical drama moment it’s not too special. Until we get back to the bedroom. Now I have seen a lot of queer media in my life and with that comes your natural tropes (I say tropes fondly because I tend to like most tropes), and that’s what I was expecting. But no, I have never seen anything so purely born out of natural instinct and emotion in my life. Saifah sitting at the edge of the bed strumming a nameless song out of nerves, Zon trying to get his attention in the dorkiest way possible. Once again this is so totally and utterly /them/. I can’t picture anyone doing the way they did, selling that natural awkwardness that comes from your first time with someone you love? Fuck man. Saifah is finally all out of the confidence he normally has, instead he’s avoiding Zon and the prospect of the night by playing the guitar. It makes sense too because this is his first time doing this with someone that he loves, and his first time with a guy which is another added layer of nerves. It’s a lot for both of them, but Zon seems to be actually interested now- finally starting to make moves himself because he knows for a fact Sai isn’t going to push in fear of spooking Zon. And then we get the real moment that really changes everything, “You have music in your heart, don’t you want to have Zon in your heart?” This is it- this is the moment they’ve both been waiting for. Zon already has Saifah’s heart, he has for a while I believe, but this question is what tells Sai that Zon is ready too. They want the same thing, each other. Now we get one of the best build ups I have ever experienced. If you're watching just at face value it might seem a bit strange but every action is deliberate. @spookshowenilorac and I have this running theory that Zon doesn’t close his eyes during some kisses because he is afraid that if he does it will all disappear, it’ll be just a dream from Zol’s fiction (and anytime one of us mentions it I tear up). He’s been so afraid for so long and this moment does feel like it’s out of a dream, it’s overwhelming in passion and over thinking. But the moment Zon accepts it as real it progresses. Mind you, as I’m sure you already know, the tongue in these kisses was not scripted. This is purely Tommy and Jimmy giving this scene and these characters everything they had. It just feels right, after everything these two have been through, and to not have that level of intimacy would have left this scene hollow. The passion and dedication Mii2 gave SaiZon is unparalleled. But that’s not it is it? No, they take it even farther. The promises they make each other? “I promise that I will only have you.” “I’ll give in only to you.” The unscripted tears and voice crack? Nothing can or will top that. I’m sorry but that is /love/. This isn’t based on lust or desire or just purely passion, what Saifah and Zon have is so palpable you can almost feel it. I don’t think any words in our universe can explain the raw emotion that just envelopes this scene in particular. And to know half of it was unscripted and Mii2 just felt like this was what was needed, what the characters would have done is so validating? Just knowing that both Tommy and Jimmy see it too, how this scene needed to play out this way in order for Sai and Zon to have their story complete is unprecedented. Again I wish I had the words to describe it better but I just don’t, so I hope you can understand at least the surface level of what I’m trying to get at here. Anyway let’s move on before I combust by the pure emotions in the bed scene to the next bed scene! This is where Zon and Saifah wake up the morning after, and when I say this is yet again peak devastation I am not kidding. They’re so bright and loving with each other in their typical teasing manner. Saifah steals a cheeky kiss from Zon and demands a kiss on his cheek, of course Zon tries to mess around refusing, then kissing, then refusing when Sai asks for more. It’s light hearted and the emotional levity we all needed. Especially with the dazed look Zon has, I think here is when he fully understands and accepts that Saifah and this feeling isn’t a dream. This is real and his to keep. The passion between them hasn’t died down but their relationship isn’t solely based on it being so aggressive either. They excel in these in between moments, the give and take of both a teasing joke and a desire to be together. It’s not as primal as the love TorFight have, but that doesn’t make either any less valid. It’s the fact that they’re such vastly different relationships that makes me admire this show more. The contrast between the two really highlights that no two relationships are the same, just like no two people are the same and that’s a wonderful message. Moving on from that very domestic scene we get the beach kissing scene (yes I’m skipping a tiny bit because I have nothing to say about SaiZon walking in on TorFight besides gay solidarity baby!). First of all I wanna point out that their outfits are peak gay culture, like I can see @travelersmindpalace and I wearing the exact same outfits during our next beach date and it /hurts/. This is also where I point out that I have a weak spot for height differences and holy shit does SaiZon deliver. The way Zon has to kinda tippy toe to kiss Sai or have Saifah lean down a bit- I’m whipped. They also thank each other for coming into their lives and I had to pause for a good few minutes to have a nice little cry over that. Like??? How??? How are they so pure and sweet after everything- I really can’t fathom it. And they do that soft little nose bump thing before they kiss- my gay heart can really only take so much of this without crying over them. They truly are the pinnacle of relationship goals. I don’t know how else to say that? They really just are so encouraging of each other, the boundaries they set up are respected, there’s never a moment of an imbalance of power, they just have a healthy relationship that’s based on trust and understanding. I hope in the in the future we get more shows depicting a relationship like this.

This was a lot and I am sorry for the word dump?? If you made it this far I love you and I beg you to scream about SaiZon with me- and with that I’m done!

#why r u #saizon #saifahzon #THIS TOOK FOREVER I'M SORRY #this is almost 8000 words of me crying over my love for saizon episode by episode rip #boba!wordcollections #it's 1am I'll deal with the consequences of this when I wake up :3

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peace-coast-island · 3 years

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Diary of a Junebug

Down by the fishing hole

The guys from Airy are back for a fishing tourney and more musical fun times! Joining them are Franny and little Ellie May, both who are enjoying the camp very much. It's been forever since I've seen the two so it's been great catching up with them.

Ellie May's full of spirit, she's a lot like her dad and aunt. I'm surprised that she kinda remembered me a little from when I last visited Airy, which was maybe four or five years ago - not too long before I came to the camp so around that time period. She was probably around two as she was walking and talking by then.

Sam says that Ellie May couldn't wait to come to the camp so she's been marking down the days until the tourney on the calendar. It's no surprise that she's into the great outdoors like her parents. At home she would tag along with Sam, Buddy, and Storm on their fishing trips at Sawyer Lake right outside town. And like the guys, Ellie May has a knack for fishing.

Franny's a bit of an outlier as she's not an avid fisher, but she does like hanging out with the guys. Though it's more so she can keep an eye on them. Buddy and Storm have a way of attracting trouble while Ellie May has Sam wrapped around her finger so it's up to Franny to be a couple steps ahead when their antics drive them up a wall.

What I love about Franny is that on the outside she looks like the kind of person who's got her shit together - the sole braincell of the gang. Independent, intelligent, creative, badass - there's a reason why she's a force to be reckoned with. Though on the inside she's just as crazy and eccentric as the others - and that's why everyone looks up to her.

While fishing, we got to talking about what's been going on in Airy. Ellie May's on the soccer team at school and taking piano lessons with a neighbor. Sam and Franny's dad is semi-retiring from the Airy Gazette, which is slowly phasing out newspapers to go completely online by next year. The community choir album is progressing while In Hopes and Dreams is a hit, prompting Storm to work on recording more music. Buddy's running the gas station/auto shop as usual. Franny is filling prescriptions and keeping up with current events. Sam's balancing town council and home life as well as dabbling as a songwriter.

Airy's one of those small towns that has adapted and changed over years while still retaining its heart. People like Franny, Sam, Ellie May, and Buddy are rooted firmly to their town, their families having been there for generations. Franny and Sam's grandpa, Andy Beryl, was a well known townfolk. He was the good samaritan, the kind of guy who takes the time to help others and actively worked to make the town a better place. There's a plaque in the courthouse dedicated to him in the office where he worked - it was brand new when I last visited.

We also got to talking about Andy Beryl a bit as it's been almost ten years since his passing. Imagine if he had lived a few more years he would've gotten to know Ellie May. Sam and Franny speak highly of him, talking about fond memories of him telling stories of the shenanigans he and his friends got up to in town. Among his friends included Buddy and Storm's grandpa, who was also known for getting into sticky situations that involved Andy stepping in to save the day.

Being part of the town council, Sam and Franny feel a sense of responsibility for the town. Since taking on the role of head council, Sam has kinda followed in his grandpa's footsteps - even mirroring his life in a way. Along with being the go-to person in town, Sam, like Andy, is also a single parent who's trying their best. The Beryls hold pride in their family name but at the same time avoid putting it up on a pedestal. After all, they're regular folks just like everyone else - something that seems to get muddled over the years but the message's clear enough. They have a legacy that they're proud of and want to keep it up, to make things even better for the next generation.

Speaking of generations, what's interesting about Airy is how different things were thirty years ago. During Andy's time, the town was mostly white - English, Irish, Scottish, German - most who have been living there for generations. Now most of the people in Airy are mixed, mainly white and Asian like the present company. Sam and Franny's father, Andy's son, married his college sweetheart, a Cambodian immigrant. As a result, Sam and Franny grew up with a mix of both cultures and know how to speak Khmer. It's fun seeing them bickering in their second language, because even if you don't understand what they're saying, at least you get what's going on.

(Also I'm lowkey jealous of how well they speak Khmer. I can barely hold a basic conversation, plus my pronunciation totally butchers the language. They say theirs isn't that great either but compared to mine, it's nothing. Sorry Mom, I'm trying but Khmer is hard.)

And as for Ellie May, her mom, Ellie, was born from Mexican immigrants. Ellie's parents visit often so Ellie May's picked up Spanish from them, making her trilingual. It seems early, but her grandparents want Ellie May to have a quinceañera, though before we know it, that day will come soon! It's good to see Ellie May proud of her heritages as well as showing off her impressive language skills!

Again, I find it interesting how much the demographic? culture? of Airy has shifted so much over the past 30-40 years, which is basically Sam, Franny, Buddy, and Storm's generation. Pretty much everyone around their age is born from a longtime Airy townfolk and an immigrant. I wonder how much more Airy will change with Ellie May's generation.

In between fishing sessions, we did a bunch of fun activities. Buddy was in his element at OK Motors tinkering with engines. He's a bit unconventional when it comes to fixing cars but he's got his ways. Storm messed around with engines too while looking for songwriting inspiration. He and Sam have written a couple songs over the past few weeks so they'll be dropping by the island in the near future to record. I'm happy that Storm's getting back into writing music, especially now that things are finally working out in his favor in terms of creative control.

Franny and Ellie May enjoy hiking and foraging, they've gathered a lot of berries so we're gonna be making something with them. We're debating on whether to make a pie or a bunch of little tarts - either one sounds good. Sam brought his guitar, prompting spontaneous jam sessions throughout the camp. Like Storm, he's been getting into music too, especially since discovering his talent as a lyricist. We've heard live performances of the new songs - Out of Reach, Dandelions, and Where the Ferns Grow - all which sounded fantastic. Hopefully there's more where that came from.

Since working on In Hopes and Dreams, Sam has also been seeing a counselor. With the song being about grief and loss and now that Ellie May's become more curious about her mom, Sam finally realized that he needed help. Talking about Ellie has been difficult but he knew that he can't keep avoiding it forever, especially for Ellie May's sake. I haven't known Ellie for long but her absence is felt, which I think says a lot about her.

While the others fished, Franny collected seashells and took a bunch of pics. Sam managed to catch a lot of doubles as well as a shark during the off hours. Despite almost getting yeeted in the middle of the ocean, he managed to drag the shark to shore - with our help, of course. Ellie May drew a cute sticker for him that says "I fought a shark and won!" with a funny doodle to go with it, which he stuck on his jacket for all to see. The two have such a sweet bond, it's fun seeing Sam carry Ellie May up on his shoulders as they laugh and run around the camp.

Earlier today we took a short hike along the thornberry trail behind the camp. That probably wasn't the best idea as the path's kinda narrow and we had to watch out for thorns. Sam had to go after Ellie May, who was running around, and both ended up stuck in a bramble bush. Thankfully their injuries are nothing serious, but they looked painful. As soon as they took off, Franny knew that something like that was gonna happen as both have a tendency to be too curious while easily distracted. It doesn't matter how grown up you are, the older sibling never stops being the caretaker for the younger one.

Just for the record, Ellie May was a lot braver than Sam - and she has more scrapes and bumps than him. Though for him, it's less the pain and more that the sight of blood puts him off. There's a reason why Franny followed their mom's footsteps to study medicine and he didn't.

Aside from that little mishap, everything else has been going well. Franny, Daisy Jane and Norma made fish pies that turned out great. They're basically like seafood chowders with a puff pastry layer on top. Stu and Buddy helped Reese and Cyrus build a gazebo that's ready to paint so that's what we're gonna do tomorrow. Storm, Candi, and Tipper hung out at Sunbust Island and harvested coconuts to make smoothies. Sam and Ellie May helped me run errands while sightseeing and stocking up on supplies. Just another fun and busy day at the camp!

In between those activities, we met up at the beach for another round of fishing. The tourney fish seem to gravitate towards the area near the cliff so we called that spot the fishing hole. It's a nice area to be situated in, kind of like our own little nook in the ocean.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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clawedcosplay · 4 years

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Space and Sinners

A scifi AU for Promare, in which Lio dedicates himself to making change, but looses sight of what he's changing the world for.

Chapter One

18+ Galolio

There will eventually be accompanying art and cosplays!

Exhaustion had long since dulled itself to a roaring background noise, like thunder in the distance. Lio wanted to turn off the blurring light of the Vivitpad, but his sense of duty kept his purple eyes open and trained on his document. After being elected, the pressure had been on. Lio wouldn’t be like the decades of council seat members who made promises they never delivered on.

Neon lights slipped through the window across his face, and despite his duty he found his attention dragged to it. He stood in his silent and dark office, strolling to the massive windows to the city. His city, now. Below him there was a woman dressed ornately, pinned against a building as her things were searched.

The bright green eyelashes that framed his eyes narrowed. Another prostitute getting arrested. A Cytype. Didn’t they know they brought down all of the lower class when they acted so deviant? They gave people like him a bad name, he who had fought tooth and nail to be the first Cytype on the council. And a Burnish Cytype at that.

Lio cracked the window, and the sobbing mixed with police radio buzzing swirled around him like a lullaby. He fished out his juul, taking a drag and letting his body be bathed in smoke and neon.

He would change it. The Cytypes would be seen as equals to the Biomen and Biowomen upper class. Lio will make real change in this worl-

The lights flashed on and the doors slammed open.

“Boss!” two voices shouted, and Lio flinched, juul falling from his fingers.

He fumbled for it as it clattered out the window, smacking against the sill and down past the upper level, into the abyss that was his home. The lower levels of the city.

He was only given a second to mourn the loss of his blessed TCH when two pairs of arms threw themselves around him, dragging Lio back from the window.

“Boss, you’ve been stressing way too much since you won-,”

“Yes, you haven’t even left the capital building. So,”

“We decided to get you something! Help you relax a little, yeah boss?”

Guiera and Meis. Those two would finish each other’s sentences as they bumbled over themselves in excitement. Lio sighed and turned around in their arms so he could look at them.

“Tell me it’s a fix.” he grumbled, still salty about having dropped his old one, “If not, then I need to get back to work.” He tugged out of both sets of hands to get to his desk again. Damn… His Vivitpad had gone into sleep mode. He danced his fingers across the screen to wake it back up, only to have it slip from his hands.

Guiera lifted it high into the air, smirking. “Sorry boss! No can do! Mandatory break! You need to destress a little.”

“O-oi! Give that back!” Lio hissed, reaching after it.

Too late. As much as he hated to admit it, Guiera had about a foot on him. He couldn’t reach.

Lio fell back down to his heels. “Fine,” he huffed, hair bristling, “What did you get me?”

The two shared a shit eating grin.

‘God, they shared the same gay braincell’ Lio thought to himself.

Then movement out of the corner of his eye brought Lio’s attention back to the door. For a moment his jaw dropped before he could manage to gather it back up.

Another Cytype. Likely an Iceist. But that wasn’t what caught Lio’s attention.

The blue haired man was clad in exotic clothes, even by modern day’s fashion. A neon green curtain skirt fell over the man’s slim hips, and a neon green top clung to his muscular chest, barely held together by straining black cords. Neon green and black were Lio's election campaign colors, and the clothes just emphasized this man's body perfectly. Lio himself felt outdone in his tired mandarin collar shirt and dress shorts with capital sash. Part of him longed to dress in exotic fashion and let loose in the underground music clubs that the Cytype people created with their own hands. Maybe he could take this gorgeous stranger along. Get lost in those almost glowing eyes…

Lio’s daydream snapped shut as he himself slammed closed the drawer of his desk. This was a prostitute in his office. The Biomen and Biowomen could fool around, that was fine for them. But Lio had to hold himself to a higher standard. He would just be another deviant Cytype if he lowered himself in such a way!

“Boss,” Guiera grunted, clapping his hand down onto the other’s shoulder.

Lio jumped, looking at him.

“This is just another fix. Just like your other habit. Unbutton your collar and relax, yeah?” he said, in a surprising moment of stoicism.

“Well… maybe-,” Lio stuttered, considering it for a second.

“Cool! Bye!” Guiera shouted.

“Have fun boss!” Meis added, slamming the door shut with the beautiful stranger stuck inside.

“Damn it,” Lio grunted, rubbing his hair.

“Councilman Lio?” the stranger asked, cocking his head to the side. His bouncy blue spiked hair flopping along.

He looked like a dog…

Lio slumped down in his large chair behind his desk. “You know, I’m not the biggest fan of your industry.”

For a moment the stranger’s face fell, but the look quickly disappeared. “Well, most people aren’t. But if you wish me to provide you my service, I would be pleased to,” He said, striding to the desk.

“You only say that because those two have already paid you, no?” Lio snapped.

Something flicked through his eyes again, before he stepped around the desk. Lio forced his eyes to look anywhere but how the skirt hugged around the stranger’s ass. They would save the politics and discussion for later though. Lio did need to relax. He couldn’t do his job if he kept so tense. He sighed, feeling tension roll from his skin like the smoke he missed so dearly.

Worn and warm hands run over Lio’s hand, and Lio felt flames lick at his stomach. Suddenly he realized he missed this just as much, if not more than the clubs and freedom of a life without politics. Companionship… was hard to find when your life was your work.

The blue haired stranger sinks down to his knees, his rough fingers running down to Lio's ankle.

“May I?” he asked, fingers hooking into the laces on the councilman’s combat boots.

Lio’s mind muses how soft the stranger’s voice seemed, nodding wordlessly.

The man pulled at the laces, painstakingly. Every time his fingers brush the latex material on his shoes, Lio feels his skin light on fire. Oh god… how long has it been? Lio slumps into his chair, feeling shivers run up his spine.

The fingers finally slip his shoe off, the three inch sole clunking as it falls to the ground. Then finally skin meets skin again, sliding up his thighs.

“You shave your legs, councilman?” the prostitute asked, letting his face run against the soft skin.

Lio frowned. “I like the feel-,” He starts to say when his entire body jolts.

The stranger had parted his lips to drag his tongue up from ankle to knee. It was precious, sacred, like the act was an act of worship. And Lio had never felt that before.

Lio quickly overcame his shock to ask, “They’re not paying you hourly, are they?”

“No. fixed rate,” he muttered, dragging his face up to where Lio’s shorts started, teasing his tongue up under the tight fabric.

“Then what are you doing?” Lio hissed, gathering at his constitution like sand that kept slipping from his fingers.

“Is this not what you want?” the stranger muttered.

Lio frowned.

What did he want?

“Master Lio?” the blue haired man asked timidly.

Lio’s attention and purple eyes were dragged down to him.

“Yes?”

“The name’s Galo,” He said, standing to his full height and slamming his hand down on the wall behind Lio, “And you better learn it fast, because it seems you want me to make you scream it.”

“Pardon?” Lio asked, hair fluffing out of place. Did this man just flip a switch?! What the hell?! What happened to worshipping him?!

"Well, that's what you want, right? No more slow burns." The man's hand found Lio's tight collar and yanked it even tighter around the thin neck. "You want me to take control?"

Lio closed his purple eyes, feeling the steady flame of arousal ignite into a roaring fire.

Oh god he wanted someone to take control. Responsibility had been weighing his shoulders down and down and down, and he wanted to release. Wanted to lose himself-

"No," Lio said, "I can't lose control. For all I know you're an assassin. I'm sure the Iceist leaders are mad that the first Cytype councilman is a Burnish."

'Galo' looked put out. "You don't even use your flames. I'm pretty sure if I wanted you dead, you would already be."

The circuit board over the other Cytype's arm appeared with an icy blue glow and the collar of Lio's shirt froze ever so slightly.

Lio felt breath catch in his throat like an ice cube.

"But, that would be stupid. Pretty sure I wouldn't get paid," Galo laughed, releasing Lio's collar.

The councilman's lips pursed. Something about this man seemed honest. Though maybe it's just the mesmerizing blue eyes.

"Okay."

"Okay???" The man mirrored with a look on his face.

"Okay I'll use your ...services. I have been too tense. It's affecting my work." Lio grumbled, "but I'm not giving up control. Just because I choose to not use my flames doesn't mean I'm untrained in them."

Lio's own arms lit up with his fire circuit boards. He gripped Galo by his neon green harness and yanked him forward, and the sheer heat generated by Lio's power made the other's bangs dance.

Though Galo's eyes lit up, not in fear but in amazement. He pressed forward as the burnish's knuckles seared into his chest, but teased his lips just an inch from Lio's.

"Suppose that means I'm in for an interesting time tonight," Galo whispered to him.

Lio felt his stomach flip over.

"Suppose that does."

#promare #galolio #galo #lio #galo thymos #lio foita #lio fotia #promare fanfiction

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the--sad--hatter · 5 years

Text

The Things We Do For Mexican Food (Bucky x Reader)

#4 and #9 from My Avengers Prompt List

#4 was requested for Bucky by a few people, sadists... :p

The Things We Do For Mexican Food

“Natasha, my good woman, my good friend, my favorite Avenger…”

“I’m not giving you money.” She said immediately.

“How did you…”

“We just walked past a taco truck and you patted your pockets, swore loudly and turned to me. I didn’t even have to use my finely honed skills to figure that one out.” She said, shaking her head fondly at you.

You huffed loudly and crossed your arms.

“Clint, my good man, my go…”

“I forgot my wallet as well.” He interrupted, looking as heartbroken as you felt.

“Damn.”

The two of you looked of your shoulder regretfully at the taco truck until Natasha clipped you both on the back of the heads.

“There’s food at the Tower.” She told you both.

“Yes, but is there greasy, dubiously safe Mexican food?” You retorted.

“Yeah, we don’t want food unless there’s a solid 80% chance it’ll give us food poisoning.” Clint agreed, offering you a fist bump in solidarity.

“How are you both still alive?” She sighed.

“We have you. You keep us alive.” Clint shrugged.

“Yeah, our very own Mother Russia.” You added.

Natasha immediately stopped walking and fixed you with a blank look. One that you knew meant you were about to die. You were suddenly hyper-aware of all the oncoming traffic and gulped nervously.

“Bye!” You yelped, turning on your heel and sprinting away.

You sprinted back to the tower, ahead of Clint and Natasha and wandered into the kitchen to look for something to eat. Sam was sat at the counter pouting.

“Whats wrong with you? Did you taut you taw a puddy-tat?” You asked him.

“You’re not funny, I don’t know why you keep acting like you are.” He grumbled.

“I’m hilarious and you’re grumpy. What’s up?” You told him.

“Barnes.”

“Ah, what did he do now? Breathe?” You sniggered, opening the fridge.

“He ‘accidentally’ broke my wings when we were training.” Sam snapped.

“Aww, poor little flightless bird. Want me to put you in a carboard box and nurse you back to health until you’re ready to fly again?” You offered, smirking at him and pulling out a yogurt with Tony’s name written on the lid.

“Why are we friends?” Sam asked you.

“Because I tell all the single, pretty girls that you’re an excellent lover.” You reminded him, peeling the yogurt open.

“You do?” He said in surprise.

“Yeah, I love being able to sexually disappoint people without even having to sleep with them.” You said, making a face of disgust at the taste of the yogurt.

“That’s it, go away.” He demanded.

“Noooo, I’m sorry. How can I help, really?” You asked, tossing the yogurt in the bin and giving him your full attention.

“If I pay you to punch him, will you do it?” Sam asked you with a straight face.

“How much?” You enquired, idly considering it.

“100$?” He offered.

It was a terrible idea, stupid, dangerous… cruel even. You liked Bucky. Well, more than liked. You had a small crush, a small, all consuming, keep you up at night, multiple cold showers a day kind of crush. But you weren’t thinking about that, there were images of taco’s, fajita’s, burrito’s and Chimichanga’s dancing through your mind.

Somehow, you found yourself walking into the gym with no memory of how you got there. Almost like you were in a trance your feet led you towards the Brunette sex symbol standing next to a punching bag.

“Bucky!” You heard yourself shout as you approached.

Everything moved in slow motion as you saw him turn his head towards you, a welcoming smile on his face that faded as your fist moved towards him. Your punch landed on his jaw and the world sped up again as his head snapped back with the force of the hit. He stumbled back and looked at you with wide, confused and hurt eyes.

Your mind FINALLY started working properly again and the consequences of what you had just done slammed into you full force.

“What the hell?” He asked, moving away from you and putting his hand up in case you tried to hit him again.

“I…. uhhhh, I… Fuck you Barnes!” You stuttered, because apparently your braincells had come back, seen the mess and fucked right back off again.

You turned around and stormed away, leaving a very perplexed super soldier standing there, rubbing his jaw.

“You owe me 100$ and on a completely unrelated note, I need you to help me fake my death.” You yelled at Sam as you ran back into the kitchen.

His jaw dropped and he gaped at you.

“You actually punched him?” He demanded.

“Yes?” You said, grimacing and wringing your hands.

“Like, punched, punched?”

“In the face, really hard. I hurt my knuckles. And his face.” You said, wincing at the replay of the incident in your mind.

“Oh, he’s going to murder you. I can’t believe you did it. You punched Barnes!” Sam crowed, looking like you’d just told him the best news of his life.

You heard Bucky yell your name from the corridor.

“Fuck. Oh fuck. You haven’t seen me!” You hissed at Sam, looking frantically around the room for somewhere to hide.

You dived behind the couch before realising he’d still be able to see you and stood up again, panicking. His footsteps grew closer and your eyes landed on the glass window pane….

“Wilson.” Bucky said, nodding at Sam and looking around the room.

“Hey. You need something?” Sam asked casually, pointing to the window.

“No, why are you…” Bucky started to ask but Sam shook his head and pointed at the window again.

Understanding dawned on Bucky’s face and he walked over to the window and pulled it open.

“Hi.” He said flatly.

“Oh, heyyyyy Bucky.” You said, waving at him.

“Need a hand?” He offered.

“No, I have it under control.” You squeaked.

“So you’re intentionally hanging upside down out of the 54th floor window?” He asked.

“All part of my master plan.” You gulped.

Hanging upside down hadn’t actually been a part of the plan but you’d sort of tripped a little bit and managed to get your ankle hooked on the ledge. Which, painful as it was, had saved your life.

“Alright, have fun.” He said and slammed the window closed.

“No, wait! Come back!” You yelled, having made the mistake of looking down.

He slid the window open again and leaned out of it with an unamused expression.

“Want that hand now?” He offered again.

“Yes please.” You whimpered.

“Why’d you punch me?” He asked.

“Can we discuss it when I’m not about to become a pavement pancake?” You begged.

“No, let’s discuss it now, while we’re hanging out.” He decided.

You groaned and made a pathetic whimpering noise.

“Sam made me do it!” You shrieked.

“TRAITOR! DROP HER BUCK!” Sam yelled from inside the room.

“He paid me, took advantage of my hunger driven temporary insanity. I fucked up and I’m very very sorry and I will do absolutely anything you want to make it up to you NOW HELP ME!”

“Sure thing doll.” He said, and a few moments passed before you were forcibly yanked up through the window and dumped on the floor.

You flattened yourself to the ground and tried to hug it. Bucky knelt on one knee next to you until you looked up at him.

“You really hurt me Doll.” He stated.

“I didn’t hit you that hard.” You whispered.

“You hurt my feelings.”

“You have feelings?” You asked, sitting up and frowning at him while Sam snorted a laugh in the background.

“I though we were friends.” He continued.

“You have friends?” Sam put in and you but down your own snort of laughter.

Bucky flipped him off without taking his eyes off of you.

“I’ll give you 90$ if you forgive me?” You offered.

“90$ and dinner.” He countered.

“Fine.” You grumbled.

“I’ll pick you up at eight.” Bucky said, standing up and offering you a hand.

“Wait, what?” You asked, confused.

Bucky just winked at you and left the room.

“Smooth.” Sam said, nodding in respect at the door Bucky was leaving through.

“Wait, no, what?” You asked again.

“Give it a minute.” Sam told you.

You frowned in confusion, yet again. Dinner… he’d meant you had to buy him dinner, right?

“Wait, did he just ask me on a date?” You yelped.

“There it is!” Sam sniggered.

“I have a date? I have a date! I HAVE A DATE!”

“I just need one strand of hair!” Someone protested and you and Sam glanced at each other before sticking your heads out of the door to see what the commotion was about.

Tony was suited up in the Iron Suit and dragging someone clad in head to toe red spandex down the corridor. The red figure spotted you and pointed excitedly.

“YOU! I want a paternity test!” He yelled.

You looked at Sam who shrugged and handed you a $100 bill.

“Chimichanga time.” You sighed happily.

“PATERNITY TEST, I DEMAND A PATERNITY TEST!”

A/N

Me: We have like six wip’s, we can NOT start a series based on this one shot...

A voice in my head that sounds suspiciously like Wade Wilson: Or can we? Because what if...

Me: NO!

#hattersmarvelverse #bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #Avengers x Reader #Bucky x Reader #Bucky fic #The Winter Soldier #Winter Soldier x reader #Bucky x You #Bucky x Y/N #Bucky x OC

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miracle-in-the-eye-of-the-storm · 4 years

Text

“You Killed Me”

@angelofthequeers

“Does Ladybug know you’re here?” Papillon’s voice is carefully nonchalant. “Or that fossil of yours, pretending to be a hero?” Ragdoll drops into the seat across from him with a grunt. It lounges, eyeing Papillon with undisguised, amused contempt. “Does your son?” His business-shark smile drops into a dark scowl. “Yeah. The only two parties privy to this meeting are you and me ― unless you have your little sidekick skulking around somewhere?” Ragdoll casts its gaze about, as if the peahen will peek out from behind the rows of potted flowers, and casually pops one of the pristine pastries laid out on the table in its mouth. Good lordy, that’s sweet. (Of course the “neutral ground” Papillon chose is a fancy-ass restaurant. Kotii knew they were right about whoever it is under the mask being a rich asshole. Of course, he could have just chosen at random, but considering the emptiness of the place and the server hovering off to the side with a calm expression, Kotii’s non-existent money is on a hefty bribe instead of a threat. Hefty bribes are usually hard to come by unless you’re a rich asshole. Ah, does Kotii love being right. Kotii does not, however, love whoever designed this place. Geez, it’s almost like they were hoping for some magically powered, moth-themed super villain to reserve the place as a meeting ground. The tiles are checkerboard purple and blue, the walls are painted in metallic grey and black diamonds, and the plants are all various shades of blue, purple, red, and white. They like that the lights don’t /quite/ cover their side of the table, though. Atmosphere is important. And at least the tables themselves are all black and pale blue. Kotii kind of wants to steal one of the chairs; black and plaid? It’s two of their favorite things combined, how could they not want one? Mr. Flutterbutt can have the rest of the place, they don’t care.) It barks out a delighted laugh when the peahen does, in fact, step out from behind the pot of roses closest to the door, like she was waiting for her cue. “I was kidding,” it says, lips peeled back in a feral grin. “Mayura,” Papillon says, steadfastly ignoring Ragdoll. “That will be all, thank you.” The peahen eyes Ragdoll warily ― who does its best not to mockingly echo Flutterbutt, smiles brightly, and wiggles its fingers at her in greeting ― but bows to Papillon silently and leaves. Unfortunately, she doesn’t let go of her transformation while she’s still in sight or earshot. This would be one of the few days one of the idiot Miraculous holders actually uses the single brain cell between them. (Oh well; the both of them’ve lost that braincell plenty of times in the past, and Mayura just used it ― not like Mr. Flutterbutt over here is going to be able to grow a new one by the time this meeting is over.) While Ragdoll and Papillon are waiting for Mayura to be completely out of the picture, they sit in silence. Ragdoll isn’t sure when the waiter ― server, whatever ― left, but he did at some point. He’s probably hanging around in the background somewhere. Ragdoll is just about to wonder if it can get up to look for him when Papillon breaks the silence. “Unless you’re here to offer your Miraculous to me, I think we have nothing more to discuss.” Ragdoll snorts ― nothing more? Dude, the only other thing discussed was who knows who’s where; what happened to it “learning the proper respect”? ― and extends its hands. The ring is hidden, of course, under the fabric of Ragdoll’s gloves, and by the three other rings on that hand as well as the two on the other. “Try it.” Its eyes glitter. “Go ahead; I dare you.” A long, tense moment drags out. It can see the gears turning above his head, something crazed starting to light his eyes. He doesn’t try. Ragdoll reclines back in the chair ― and man, it is really comfy, actually ― with a sigh. “Wimp.” One of Flutterbutt’s hands curls into a loose fist. “Well, back to business ― I really only accepted your ever-so-gracious invitation for a chat because I have a question for you.” It stills suddenly, looks at him. In the shadows thrown over its chair, its eyes glow softly. “Why are you Papillon?” He blinks. “What?” “Why are you Papillon?” Ragdoll asks again. “It’s a simple question, old man. I just wanna know what motivates you to terrorize Paris on a weekly basis.” It tilts its head. “Hmm. Maybe a better question would be ― what do you want to wish for?” He leans forward eagerly. “So the wish will work?” It gives him a look of disgust. You did all this without actually knowing if it would work or not? It wants to ask. It doesn’t. “I asked first, buddy.” He sits back, suddenly, almost a business man again. The manic light in his eyes has dimmed, but it’s definitely still there. “Of course,” he says politely. “I think you’ll agree that my motives are a bit more noble than the common criminal, once you’ve heard them.” The only thing Ragdoll does to betray its spike of incredulity is a raised eyebrow. He continues when it’s clear Ragdoll isn’t going to say anything in response. “Three years ago, my wife and I came across a pair of animal-themed jewelry in Tibet. I thought they were fakes, given the shady booth-runner trying to sell them, but my wife’s always had an eye for that sort of thing, and she was convinced they were real gems. And she so loved birds ― she just had to have the pin, and they came as a set. So we bought them. “At the time, we believed them to be just that ― a brooch and a pin. So you can imagine our surprise when as soon as she put the pin on, a small creature emerged from it!” He laughs a little, lost in the memory. Then his face darkens. “Of course, how were we to know that the Miraculous was damaged?” His eyes glaze over and his voice gets quieter. “How could we have known, when he didn’t even know himself?” “Your wife was effected by whatever damage was done to the Peacock Miraculous,” Ragdoll guesses bluntly. He nods, gaze still distant. “I was . . . out of sorts, for quite a long while. I couldn’t bring myself to try the Miraculous on, either one of them.” The manic light, almost entirely faded away at this point, comes back full force. “But then, when I finally had the strength to try, the moth Kwami told me of the Wish, the absolute power, granted to whoever wields both the Black Cat and the Ladybug Miraculous.” He eyes Ragdoll’s hands hungrily, though clearly frustrated that he doesn’t know which ring it is, or which hand it’s on. “With that Wish, I could bring my wife back,” he murmurs, almost hypnotic in his cadence. “With that Wish, my son would have his mother back. My family would finally be whole again. If I could just . . .” He starts reaching out, fingers twitching minutely. “Uh huh,” Ragdoll says, raising an eyebrow again and crossing its arms. Papillon blinks, whatever spell he’d put himself under broken. “Cool motive, still murder.” He scowls again. “I haven’t killed anyone.” Ragdoll laughs in his face. “Oh, honey,” it says with mock sympathy. “Something tells me you actually believe that.” “And what is that supposed to mean?” Papillon asks sharply. Ragdoll’s smile, devoid of any humor in the first place, slips into something dangerous. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember dear Syren.” The scowl stays fixed on his face. “No? Then surely Gigantitan? Gorizilla? Frozer, even?” “What,” he bites out, “are you talking about.” It makes its smile wider. “My dear Papillon, at this point you’re being deliberately obtuse. I know you can figure out what happens when an upset person of giant proportions rampages through the city. You would have seen the damage through both pairs of eyes. And it was a lovely day before everything went frigid; people like to swim on lovely days in the summer.” It watches him for a long moment. His face is rapidly paling. “And when the entire city was flooded . . . well. “Do you know what it’s like to drown, Papillon?” He pales further. “No,” he whispers. “Yes,” Ragdoll snaps. He flinches at the sudden rise in volume. “It hurts. At first, you think maybe it won’t be so bad; you’ve been out of breath before, and neither of the heroes would let this go on long enough for it to feel any worse than that. But then it keeps going. It keeps going, and your throat starts to burn, and your chest feels like one good poke, one good shove, one good push will burst it wide open. So you let go of all that air you’re holding onto, in the hopes that that will somehow make it better. Except now ― well, now you’re just as stuck as you were before, your foot trapped in that stupid crack in the sidewalk. No more air left in your lungs, and no way to get more air into them. Your brain doesn’t really know that, though. At that point, your brain is just desperate to get one last good lungful of oxygen, so instinct takes over and you try to breathe.” It inhales, as if to demonstrate. “Of course it doesn’t work. The only thing that fills your mouth is that cold, brackish, uncaring water. And when the black starts crawling in at the edges of your vision, you don’t even have enough energy left to feel relief. You just let it happen.” It snorts. “As much as you can let anything happen at that point, anyway.” “That,” Papillon whispers, then shakes his head. Ragdoll ― Kotii ― is amused, for a moment, how a teenager is the one unsettling the adult instead of the other way around. “That wasn’t my fault,” he says, stronger. “I’m not the one who flooded the city.” “Oh, so there’s some other guy out there who can turn people into fuckin’ mermaids?” It laughs ― snarls ― at him. “Sure.” “It was not my fault,” he insists, eyes flashing. “I only want my wife back! All these Akumas are merely a means to an end, and once my Emilie is returned to me―” Ragdoll lunges across the table and yanks him closer by the collar, bringing his face very close to its open, snarling mouth. Its teeth sharpen, get longer, its ears pin themselves flat against its head, and its eyes glow neon blue. They hover there for a long moment, the only sound Ragdoll’s growling. Then it takes a deep breath, forcefully calming itself down, and lets go of him. “How about this,” it says, voice bright with menacing cheer. “Why don’t I use a metaphor? Everyone likes metaphors, especially pretentious assholes like you.” Papillon, massaging his throat, glares but doesn’t say anything. Ragdoll smiles, baring its still-too-sharp teeth. “Yeah. So, let’s say, in this hypothetical scenario, that the Akumas are a bunch of people looking for guns. Shot guns, hunting rifles, pistols, whatever. Any gun will do for what they have in mind, which is either revenge or causing as much damage as possible. Thing is, all the legal gun stores aren’t selling the right sorts of guns, or the guns they do sell aren’t working right. That leaves the illegal route. Which in this case, is you.” “I am not an illegal gun seller―” Papillon starts to protest. “I’m not done,” Ragdoll says, glaring at him. He presses his lips together, obviously displeased, but quiets down again anyway. Ragdoll spreads its hands. “Right. They all flock to you, because your shit’s actually working. So.” It leans forward, eyes glowing again. “You might not have been the one to pull the trigger when I died, but you’re damn well responsible for the gun. Deny it all you want, Mr. Agreste, but I died because of you. “You killed me.”

#miraculous ladybug #miloe writes #CW: death mention #CW: drowning mention #yeah so i'm just tagging a bunch of content warnings in case #and YES i am AWARE there are other things i need to finish writing #. . . . but you get this first #also! in case the pronoun changes are confusing #kotii is 'they/them' and ragdoll is 'it/its'

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darkdumbass · 5 years

Photo

Yo, I’m not dead, just had a thing going on on Twitter and didn’t want to post it here until it was finished.

It’s a story I wrote with the help of my followers. At certain points I used polls to give them a choice where the story would go next. It turned out pretty well and it’s pretty long so I’m putting it under the cut.

This up here is the cover. The story itself is accompanied by rather quick doodles.

Big thanks to everyone who participated.

Enjoy!

One Day Off

During his stubborn race to prove he's better than everyone else, detective Gavin Reed found himself hitting a wall. At times like these it is wiser to take a step back and take at least a little time to rechage the much needed energy.

Not that detective Reed is considered to be wise by anyone, even by himself, but he has at least that much common sense. So he's taking a day off. Which, sure enough, provides him with a decision to make. What to do? Where to go?

[Amusement park] [Edgy rock concert] [Water park] [Contemporary art gallery]

The last thing he wants is to look like a pathetic loner. He needs an accomplice. Apart from the emergency telephone number, which he can't seem to remember by heart, his empty contact list includes only four other numbers. One choice worse than the other, but he has to choose.

[Old man Anderson] [The ever perfect Connor] [RK900 terminator] [Good guy Chris]

Standing outside the club with the opening act already in progress, Gavin still can't shake the surprise of his usually reserved partner accepting the invitation to go and listen to actual music. But this feeling is nothing compared to the shock of seeing the android arrive.

"What. On Earth. Are you wearing?"

"I don't understand, detective. You told me to blend in."

"We're going to a rock concert, not starting an emo band."

"Accroding to my research--"

The baffled detective abruptly turns around and heads for the entrance, grumbling under his breath.

The duo enters the large club, undecipherable shrieking from the direction of the stage filling their ears.

"This opening band is a bunch of clowns," Gavin remarks.

"So what now?" the android asks.

Gavin looks at him with a smirk.

[Booze] [Mingle] [Best spots near the stage] [Ditch the damn clothes, RK]

"Alcohol makes everything better, right?" the detective utters an empty laugh and hastily heads towards the bar.

RK900 curiously follows. Gavin casually orders three shots of tequila.

"Three?" the android wonders.

"Just enough to get this party started." This time his laugh is genuine.

RK900's stress level slightly rises as he tries to predict all the things that could go wrong when Gavin inevitably gets drunk. What he didn't predict was a large man suddenly bumping into his partner.

Gavin stumbles and his precious drinks spill, the victims being the bar counter and the android next to him. The poor man gasps, the sight of the wasted liquid gold ruining his delicate mood. He slowly turns, facing the enormous back that is the culprit.

[Punch him] [Hurt him with words] [Let it go] [Glass him]

RK900 sees a familiar expression appear on the detective's face. Gavin grabs a nearby empty beer glass and smashes it against the back of the giant's head. As if almost nothing happened, the mountain of muscle irritatedly turns around.

"Fuck, that hurt you little shi..."

The words fade as a strong hand grasps Gavin's shirt and hurls him away. Powerless against the enormous force, his body flies into the nearest group of people. Gavin falls to the ground, taking a thin young woman down with him. Confused, he scurries back to his feet only to be greeted by a furiously looking face of who he assumes is the unlucky woman's boyfriend.

"The hell you think you doin'?" the man almost screams and throws a punch in the direction of Gavin's face.

The detective instinctively ducks. The man's fist lands on the wrong face, knocking down an innocent bystander.

Behind their backs an excited and most likely intoxicated voice roars: "Fiiiiiiight!"

A beer bottle flies over their heads, shattering in a crowd of people.

A savage fight breaks out around them, rapidly spreading through the whole club like a virus. Completely shocked, Gavin tries to comprehend the situation. Finally, when various objects start flying in different directions, he runs for safety, vaulting over the bar counter.

The quick-witted RK900 is already there, arms crossed and frowning disapprovingly at his human. Gavin isn't able to do anything more than mutter a nervous "Huh..."

"So... Do you have a plan how to handle this mess of yours?" the android asks impersonally.

[”Pff, I’ll handle it.”] [Call help] [Let’s just gtfo] [”Hey look, free booze!”]

Gavin looks around at the shelves full of alcohol.

"We stay here, have a nice free drink and wait for all this to blow over," he grins and reaches for a bottle of whisky.

RK900 sighs disappointedly. Minutes pass and people are still fighting. Every now and then the android peeks over the counter, checking for life-threatening situations.

Getting tired of the detective's pathetic fun, RK900 swiftly jumps out, moving speedily through the crowd. Gavin is left behind, too busy chugging a second bottle of hard liquor.

The android finally reaches the stage. It's empty save for some music instruments and various contraptions. He positions himself in front of the microphone overlooking the furious crowd. He pats it with one finger and the speaker emits a screechy sound. He leans his head closer.

"May I please ask you to abort all your violent activities and..." RK900 trails off when he sees his words have no impact. He clears his throat, calibrating his sound emitters. He brings the microphone closer to his mouth. In a fraction of a second the android looses his temper and roars with a booming voice: "EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

The crowd freezes, people stopping mid-action resembling a paused movie. Somewhere in the distance Gavin drops a bottle.

"Thank you. Now I would kindly ask you to disperse and return to your homes or seek medical attention if need be."

The mass of people shifts as people regain composure. RK900 steps off the stage, satisfied.

But an unknown voice calls out: "Hey, where's the band?"

The android opens his mouth to answer but another voice cuts him out.

"They ran, what else do you think they did, dumbass?"

"Fuck, I paid to hear 'em and that's what I want!"

Cries of agreement echo in the hall. RK900 looks around with fresh concern. Suddenly, Gavin appears at his side, unintentionally brushing shoulders with him. The android notices a half empty bottle in his hand. He's sporting a devilish expression.

"I've got an idea," he calls into the crowd.

RK900 freezes. Whatever it is, it's going to be a disaster.

[Silence him] [Let him speak] [Drag him away] [Slap him]

---

It was a slow day at the DPD. Lieutenant Anderson spent it sitting behind his desk filling out paperwork. It's evening and he's working overtime. The sudden ringing of his phone startles him a little. He picks up and listens.

As the coversation progresses, his expression changes from tired to tired as hell. Some disturbance in the city? That isn't even supposed to be his job but it seems that he's one of the few people available. He has no other choice but to get in his car and drive to the scene.

He arrives and a number of police officers are already there, holding the perimeter. One of them fills him in on what's going on. Apparently, a concert was supposed to be held at the club. Somebody shoves a megaphone in his hands. He sighs exhaustedly and steps forward.

He faces a makeshift barricade at the entrance to the club. It's built out of various furniture and metal railing. He lazily lifts the megaphone closer to his lips.

"Uh, hello, this is the police."

At the sound of his voice, several heads peek out over the barricade. In the middle, two figures stand taller than the others. The lieutenant narrows his eyes to see clearer.

"Reed?"

"Anderson?"

"Lieutenant?"

"RK900?"

Awkward silence takes over as lieutenant Anderson tries to put two and two together.

He fails.

"The hell are you two doing here?"

Gavin straightens his back with drunken courage.

"Wha- isn't it obvious? We want music!" his voice breaks with the last word. It does nothing to help Anderson understand.

"The concert?"

"We paid for music so we want it!"

The android next to Gavin sinks to his knees.

Anderson's hand holding the megaphone drops to his hip. His other hand covers his desperate face.

"And I thought this guy couldn't get any worse..." he mumbles into his palm. He lets out a loud breath. "Time to do my work, I guess."

[Use force] [Parley] [Talk him out of it] [”RK900, do something!”]

The lieutenant lifts the megaphone again.

"RK900!"

His loud shout interrupts the android's silent prayer. His head turns towards Anderson.

"What are you doing? Tell him to knock it off!"

"I tried. He doesn't listen," RK responds.

"Well then you haven't tried hard enough."

RK gives Gavin a desperate look. The man notices his gaze and pats him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll get the band back," he mumbles with a comforting smile.

RK900 lifts an eyebrow at the lieutenant. Anderson gestures his hands encouragingly. RK looks back at his partner. The man is now using his hand on the android's shoulder to steady himself. He burps with a frown.

In one quick movement RK900 jumps behind the barricade, pulling Gavin down with him. Grabbing onto his jacket, he violently shakes the human, finally getting his full attention.

"This moronic idea of yours will never work. I need you to give this up before everybody here ends up in prison," he whispers aggressively.

Gavin's confused expression slowly transforms into a defiant one.

"We haven't spent three hours building a barricade for nothing!"

"You'll walk with your freedom unrestricted if you just use your one braincell."

"That's not enough," he retorts.

RK sighs wearily, "What would it take for you to change your mind?"

The man makes an innocent face.

"Depends. What're you offering?"

RK900 falls silent, thinking.

[”My soul”] [An offer he can’t refuse] [”Anything. Just ANYTHING”] [A night he won’t forget]

Finally, the android lets go of the detective's jacket and places his hands on the man's shoulders instead, bringing their faces closer.

"Gavin," he breathes softly, making a dramatic pause before he continues, "I'll give you a night you'll never forget."

The man stares at him dumbly. RK900 slides his hands and gently caresses the back of Gavin's neck, pulling him even closer.

"I know you better than anyone else," his voice quiets to a whisper, "Your every desire."

The detective gulps. An unintelligible mumble escapes his lips.

A playful smile lights up the android's face.

"So why don't we leave all this behind and go to your place right now?" He's practically holding the dumbfounded detective in his arms.

"Ah-hahhh," Gavin gives in.

"Perfect," RK winks and lets go of him.

After that, Gavin takes notice of very little of what happens around him, completely lost in his fantasizing mind.

Police officers swarming the barricade.

A night he'll never forget?

Old man Anderson yelling.

Desires?

Being shoved into a cab.

To his place?

At last, he comes around. Truly, the android is sitting next to him in the taxi, a tired look on his face. Their eyes meet. Gavin can't stop a dopey smile. The car stops with a jerk. Unsurprised by the man's inability to move, RK900 opens the door instead, pushing Gavin outside.

He finds himself in an unfamiliar place, completely devoid of civilization save for the faint outline of the city somewhere in the distance. He truns around, seeing the android still sitting in the cab comfortably.

"I- Uh..."

"You," RK points his finger accusingly, "will try to find some reason in that head of yours."

"Y-you said--"

"Oh," the android interrupts his mumbling, "I lied." He flashes Gavin a condescending smile.

"Not about the 'unforgettable' part though. And try not to take too long, Fowler wants us at the office tomorrow at 0600."

The car door shuts and the cab silently drives away, leaving detective Gavin Reed to his own devices.

The end.

Thank you for reading! I imagine it was easy to follow on Twitter in daily doses but only now did I realize that it’s pretty damn long! So if you made it this far, you’re my hero <3

If you’re interested in the outcome of the polls with percentage, the whole thread can be found here.

And lastly, if you want to see me ramble more, share random funny anecdotes and maybe write more stories, follow me on Twitter.

Signing off,

Your friendly neighbourhood fanartist

#detroit become human #dbh fanart #gavin reed #rk900 #reed900 #art #had a lot of fun with this #and i hope you will too

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toothedsmile · 5 years

Text

The puppeteer: Chapter six

Masterlist

Chapter six: A hero’s job

Warnings!!: mention and the action of suicide, down talking and mentions of depression.

Please don’t force yourself to read if aren’t comfortable with these topics. If you need someone to talk to don’t be afraid to speak to me. I’ve been stuck and sometimes still am with these kind of thoughts so please. Don’t be afraid to speak to me. I care about you even if I don’t know you.

Once again you were awoken by the sound of your alarm in your ear. You stood up and cursed yourself for putting it on the highest volume even though you knew that if it were any lower you wouldn’t have woken up.

You did your daily routine and mentally prepared yourself for another day at hell school.

Once downstairs you noticed that your dad left you a message saying that he couldn’t be there in the morning this week and that your mother was working late. With a deep sigh you took your breakfast and decided that while your parents weren’t at home you could eat in front of the T.V.

Taking the remote you turned on the T.V and saw that it was still on the rerun from the news from last night.

Your eyes widened as you saw that they were talking about an attack from yesterday from villains at the U.A school in the location USJ, a special training place but you didn’t know the full meaning of the name.

It seemed that the attack was done to kill All Might and happened when the first years for the hero course class 1-A were there to do rescue training.

With furrowed eyebrows you kept shoving food into your mouth and soaked in the information the news gave about the villains, you know, in case you had to run for your life when you bump into a random person on the streets and they appear to be a villain trying to murder you for bumping into them.

Once you had done whatever was needed for your next day at school you packed everything up and decided to leave as you only had fifteen minutes before your class started and you didn’t want to be late.

Having arrived at school you looked around for your friend, as you were walking you heard people around you talking about the USJ incident. Some were worried for the class and others were speaking how they totally would’ve defeated the villains if they had been there even though anyone could see in their eyes that they were scared to even properly think about it.

Feeling something tap on your shoulder you turned around and saw your friend standing there with a smile.

“So have you thought about it yet? Becoming a vigilante?”

With wide eyes you slapped them on their shoulder.

“Are you crazy! Do you want people to hear this and get the police on my ass? What if somebody heard?”

Just as your friend waved their hand in a relaxed manner to try and prove you wrong you both heard a voice that silenced you two.

“Hear what if I may ask?”

With and audible gulp you turned around to look at the speaker and saw Ilya standing there with one of his eyebrows raised.

Freaking out a bit your friend grabbed your shoulder and started dragging you to the stairs leading to the hallway of your first class.

“Huh, hear anything?? Nothing! But oh no, would you look at that it’s almost time for the bell to ring –“

“-It’s still five minutes?-“

“-We should be going now, bye bye!”

And so you ended up standing in an empty hallway in front of your class in complete silence.

Except for the fact that you were glaring at your friend so hard that one might have been able to hear the laser coming from your eyes that bore into the head of F/N as they stood there with a bit of sweat dripping from their face as they tried to avoid looking at your general direction.

It was your last hour of the day and your friend didn’t bring the topic of you becoming a possible vigilante up again during the whole duration of the day.

“Alright everyone, this is it for today’s lesson about radiation. Be sure to look over what we’ve learned again and don’t be afraid to ask questions, I’d be happy to help you.”

One of your most favourite teachers this year said that you were all allowed to leave with a pleasant smile. Walking side by side with your friend towards the school gate wasn’t awkward.

The only thing awkward was that they kept walking with you to your house even though they lived somewhere else and had to catch a bus.

“Not that I don’t like you walking with me but don’t you have bus to catch?”

They shook their head with a small smile and looked you right in the eye.

“I’m coming to your house. I know your parents work late right now so we have some time to talk.”

Sighing you accepted your fate, you knew they wouldn’t let you go anyway and would just keep bothering you.

“Fine then, we’ll talk about your oh so important question.”

You both continue walking towards your house in a slightly awkward but mostly comfortable silence.

Once having arrived you went to your bedroom and sat down onto your bed.

“So, did you actually think about it?” Your friend questioned, head tilted slightly in curiosity.

You leaned back on your hands, looking upwards to the ceiling in slight thought. “I mean, I thought about it. I would like to be a vigilante. By the time I would actually get into UA or any other great hero school a year or more would’ve already passed at least. I think. Besides, it would show what hero work is you know.”

F/N nodded at your answer, they understood your reasoning. “I’ll help with it. Of course I won’t be a vigilante but I’ll do my best to help you out.”

Suddenly they stood up and clapped in their hands as they turned to you with an excited smile.

“Start today! I already thought that you would say yes so I managed to make a quick costume that is a actually a hoodie that modified to hide your…you know. And some pants that I thickened at your knees.”

With a deadpanned expression you turned to your friend that slowly turned into a ‘really?’ expression.

“Did you…Did you seriously? Oh my god, I honestly sometimes can’t believe you.”

Shrugging they took their backpack and took out a black hoodie, a pair of black pants and a basic black dust mask with no design or anything else that would be easily identified.

None of the clothes were visibly from any brands so you really liked that, it seemed that F/n had actually used their one and only braincell.

“I don’t know whether to be proud of you or to be slightly mad.”

They smiled innocently and batted their eyes at you. “Just be proud of me.”

You changed into the clothes and actually felt a bit badass in them.

“Alright, your hair cant be visible so just in case you’ll have to put up your hood and try to find some hairpins to pin it back.”

Slightly surprised you turned to F/N again, mouth a bit open with surprise at the fact that they seemed to talk so freely about you going out and being a vigilante with tips about your hair.

“Did you like research ‘how to vigilante’ or something?”

Smiling they avoided to properly answer you and just gave a shrug with a smile that screamed “maybe I did.”

You had put your hair back, even finding a headband that you put at the front of your head so the roots of your hair wouldn’t be seen.

“Alright, you still have some time before it becomes dark but I really have to go home or my parents might become angry or something.”

They gathered their stuff and said bye to you as they ran to a bus stop in the hopes of getting a bus so they could get home in time.

Sitting on your bed you rethought about your choice of becoming a vigilante. Perhaps you had made the decision to fast and hasty. While yes, you could get to helping people like you wanted while also getting experience in the job of being a hero that you wouldn’t get in and actual hero school but was it really such a good idea?

You had never done anything like this and you had yet to unlock new possibilities with your quirk.

Dropping yourself back onto your back on you bed you continued thinking about your totally ration decision.

Time had passed and it was now dark outside, deciding to go trough with your plan you readied yourself mentally and sneaked out of your house.

Walking on the streets at night knowing that there were most likely criminals and murderes roaming around waiting for a victim was very frightening to think about. But knowing that people who were required to walk around this time because of their jobs or other personal things could be in possible danger was enough to make you keep going even with the possibility of becoming injured.

As you were walking you thought about how you weren’t really able to see a lot of things around you, and that didn’t have anything to do with the fact that it was dark but it was because of the walls and many alleyways that were everywhere and blocked your sight.

Your eyes wandered around and suddenly you looked at a roof, your eyes kept wandering around to see if there was a fire escape that could give you access to a roof so you could look around from above with an even wider sight of where you were.

Sadly enough you didn’t find one that was in your physical reach but was most defiantly in the reach of your lovely strings.

Hoping that they wouldn’t snap you pulled yourself up and surprisingly you didn’t feel anything in your fingers and your string were quite strong.

Finally you got on top of the roof and looked over the side, the view was very pretty, the lights were shining brightly like earthly stars and the few cars riding around gave some movement to the picture.

Using the memory part of your quirk you captured the sight into your brain, but as you kept looking at the other roofs you saw another figure standing on the ledge of a very high building.

Your eyebrows furrowed with concern and you decided to go check out what was going on with the person.

With the help of your quirk you got to the other roof that was barely two minutes away and landed a few meters behind the person who after hearing the taps of your feet turned around surprised with wide eyes.

Their eyes locked with yours and you both kept looking at each other for a little while before they spoke up.

“Who are you?” They stepped a bit away from the ledge getting a little closer to the middle of the roof.

“I’m just someone who’s running around with a mask trying to help people. I saw you standing here and I got a bit worried.”

Confused they tilted their head as they looked at you with question. “Why would you be worried about someone you never met?”

Smiling softly beneath your mask as your eyes got a gentle look in them you stated answering them.

“It might seem selfish but I feel better when I help someone.”

They blinked, they hadn’t expected that you’d answer them honestly believing you to be some one who would pretend to be a hero just to stab them in the back.

“Why are you standing here?”

They seemed to get a bit uncomfortable at the question as their eyes looked away from you and their body turned a bit to the side as to hide way from you.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me but do you mind if I guess?”

Your only answer was a shrug and an uncaring face that became devoid of emotion.

“Did you come here to kill yourself?”

Their shoulders tensed and they looked back to the edge, slowly stepping closer.

“Yes, I did. You actually managed to distract me for a little while but I really have to continue so if you won’t mind I would wish to keep going with I was doing.”

You started stepping towards them but stopped as they moved even closer to the edge.

“Wait please. Don’t, please don’t do this. This isn’t the right thing. I don’t know your life, I don’t know your thoughts but I can understand why you’d do this. I’ve been there myself but please. If you keep living you will find something worth living for.”

Their eyes looked at you from the side, hesitation was filled within him but they hardened and they looked down from the ledge. They lifted their leg over the edge, slowly leaning forward.

“I’m sorry but I can’t, I just can’t stay here anymore. It hurts so much.” Tears dripped from their eyes and they went.

“Wait! No stop! WAIT DON’T JU-!”

Their whole body tilted as they fell from the roof.

Everything seemed to go in slow-motion as you ran to where they stood, your strings shot out as fast as they could behind the person in the hopes of stopping them, saving them, helping them.

But you were too late.

They fell down to their death and there was nothing you could do about it.

Frozen and with wide eyes you looked at the red splotch on the ground far down from you that turned into a blur and vanished as tears came into your eyes.

You body felt empty, your heart seemed to stop and you couldn’t think about anything except for the fact that you were too late.

Your breathing became faster as you became nauseous, you clasped your hand on your mouth as you felt your food coming back up but you managed to hold it back.

On shaking legs you backed away from the ledge, slowly going faster as you ran home to the safety of your room and covers.

Getting there you changed yourself with shaking hands, they could barely hold anything.

Grabbing your phone you called the police.

“Hello this is the police, how may we help you?”

With a shaking voice you spoke. “I-I s-saw someone, they – they jumped. I –“

You spoke about the person, the place here they jumped.

The person on the other side asked for your name but you answered that you just didn’t want to think about it anymore and they understood as you said your age.

They spoke that they’d ask perhaps call you back for what you saw and hung up after saying goodbye.

Sleep didn’t come until a few hours before you would have to start for school but you didn’t think about that as the same scene kept playing in your head as if it wouldn’t leave you alone.

And so you stayed there, traumatised for the rest of the day.

#bnha x reader #bnha #reader insert #bnha various x reader #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha todoroki shouto x reader #bnha various

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