#these people way too invested in my life

[becca-alexa]

love it when i meet with people and find out their sole purpose in life is finding me a husband 😔🙏💗

#becca.txt #and i mean this in the most sarcastic way possible #these people way too invested in my life #leave me alone #if i find someone who wants to go out with me that's cool #if i don't that's also cool #either way it's nobody's business #not my fault all of you married at 22 and are living unfufilled lives as a result #not saying you can't have a fufilling life having married young - you certainly can #but NONE of the people i'm referring to were in any way shape or form prepared to marry when they did #the only person i know in my circle w/a successful marriage met dated and married her now husband in <6 months #i have cousins who married at 19!!!in this day and age! #are you INSANE??? #some of these people desperately needed to be told that your value as a woman does not depend on your status with a man #like what the hell this ain't the year of our lord 1662 go live your life you don't need a man to be happy???what the hell???? #what's even better is when i tell them i'm not looking and they pull the 'oh don't worry i'm looking for you!' #please i don't want do get within 15feet of anybody these people 'find for me' #if it were up to me i'd marry closer to 30 and adopt a bunch of kids - which is another thing #if you don't think adopting children means they're YOUR children simply because you didn't birth them you can get fucked #i had an aunt say this to me over the holidays #everybody's so gung-ho about my fertility issues but i'm realistic so i tell everyone i'll adopt and save myself the trouble #then she pulls the 'oh they won't really be your kids tho???' like BITCH WHAT YOU MEAN??? #I'LL BE RAISING THEM HOW ARE THEY NOT MY KIDS???like PLEASE #pls ignore i just needed to rant a little bit

[memento-mariii]

It keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy (<-me watching the new Fionna and Cake show) (<-me thinking about the Petrigrof sleeper cell it awakened in me)

#adventure time fionna and cake #fionna and cake #fnc #adventure time #betty grof #simon petrikov #petrigrof #seriously. themmmmmmmmmmmmmm. #they're eating up my frontal lobe and replacing my whole personality #they make the horrors™️ of everyday life bearable #but god. at what cost. #they also make me so so sad. genuinely sad. #not like ''whoo boy! that was cathartic! I love me some good tragedy!'' #but like. full-on depressed actually in real life. #I am way too emotionally invested in doomed old people yuri (gender neutral) #I will not I will not I repeat I WILL NOT relapse into depression bc of a fictional couple from a children's cartoon-turned-TV-14 show #god imagine how embarrassing would that be #like how would I even explain that to my therapist #mmari rambles

[hetchdrive]

Just saw a gifset from an episode of Farscape I haven’t watched yet and I am just going to have to force myself to assume it was an edit with fake dialogue on it or else taken wildly out of context because if I don’t it is the only thing I am going to be able to think about for the rest of the day. What the fuck.

#god this is so embarrassing. my life is a joke. #i will never ever ever grow out of getting way too invested in a fictional villain #this is why i should not click around on random people’s blogs

[coralhoneyrose]

Man, I’m so close to finishing this last chapter of PtLY. There’s just two already partially written scenes left to wrap up, neither of which should be particularly long, and then…that’s it.

I really wanted to have it done this year (that was one of my biggest resolutions for 2023!) but ultimately I think it’s more important not to rush it and to take my time to make sure I’m happy with how it turns out…especially since it’s the last one and I’d hate to end things on a disappointing note.

That being said, I’m likely gonna work on it a lot tomorrow, so it should still be done soon—likely within the next week? I do love a good f!Robin Friday release.

#We can all just pretend that January 5th counts as this year #Right? Right. #Feeling all sorts of ways about the fact it’s this close to ending too #mostly excited but a little sad as well #this fic has been a part of my life for so long #and it’s been wonderful to have this many people invested in a story I’m writing #Definitely going to miss getting that level of engagement it’s been a huge blessing #My fics #Personal #Pretending to Love You (Shouldn’t Be This Easy)

[this-should-do]

could you draw gordon freeman being a cryptid in black mesa and yeeting himself out of ducts to assault the soldiers attacking, possibly while screaming something out of freeman's mind? i loved that fic you wrote

hehe so glad u enjoyed my fic ! :) and thanks fro reqing,, gave me a real good excuse to use the brush ive been enjoying as of late,, been getting real funky with it

anyways gordon is sooooo scary and also sooooo scared <3

#gordon freeman #half life #blood tw #idoindeedwrite #ponderingradioactivedecay #i didnt do and fm stuff cuz im not... particularly fond of that version of gordon.. #ive watched it right but eh.... #ive also just seen waaaaaaay to many people immediately jump to that particular guy on other peoples interps of gordon in #'fm is best but this is okay i guess' typa way #so that version of gordon has always kinda rubbed me the wrong way lmao #but yeah sorry lol #im just very invested in my version of gordon #also not sure how cryptdy this turned out certainly omnious in the beginnning me thinks but lmao #im just way too fond of eye close ups and had yet to do enough to satisfy my urges so lmao u get a sad pathetic gordon with his glowy eyes #ough this brush is really letting me get so messy and have sum fun with it... i an be way more loose and gestural lik ei normally am with #my traditional art #very fun... #anyways gonna hve fun with this brush for the foreseeable future lmao #at least for smaller things prob still gonna use my normal brush for bigger projects cuz they benefit from clenaer work

[raplinesmoon]

i think the thing that no one tells you about being forced into being a high achieving child/teen is how much it comes to fuck you over later in life when you can’t do anything without holding yourself to an insane level of perfectionism and then you realize it’s basically leeched all the fun out of any hobbies you created for yourself and left you with a shell of a personality

#like I was having this convo with my mom about how I used to do so much in high school and college #and granted a lot of it was to look smart or well rounded for college and dental school apps which is I guess it’s own thing #but now that I don’t have another goal to work towards my life feels more stagnant and I guess I feel like more of a failure? #even though that’s absolutely not true I just see other people always on the grind and feel guilty for not wanting to do as much anymore #bc I’m tired and burnt out from everything #and the worst part is that it extended into my hobbies too #like I used to love baking and painting and being creative until I just set such insane standards for myself #like if something wasn’t perfect or aesthetic or worthy of being displayed as like a trophy #my effort and the process and time invested into it counts for nothing #not to be controversial but sometimes writing feels that way too #i think it’s a mental battle I have with myself but it makes me sad how many hobbies I used to have and enjoyed #that were then destroyed by burn out and perfectionism and imposter syndrome #this turned into a rant #will probably delete later #but I just had to say it somewhere #isi rambles

[4giorno]

i got the cutscene <3

#its actually crazy that there was even more content i missed that impacted the story this much #like this rlly illustrated how even tho my character and astari0n have both become better people astari0n is still so behind in that #(we know why ofc. hes still acting like a feral cat trying to self preservere with teeth and nail and all until the very end; the ritual) #my character had his most obvious 'shifting point' at the transition from act 2 to act 3 #like he fully realized that this is now truly bigger than himself. he has left marks on the lands and he has to go all the way #he has made true friends. one of his best friends is the kindest most compassionate person in the world #and very importantly he loves astari0n and THAT is the reason he now feels this actual compassion towards the other spawn #hes so personally invested in this issue now #and he can say that 'the world can be a wonderful place if you find your home in it astari0n' bc its something he has just recently had #a personal revelation abt #and astari0n deflects it and describes my character as someone who now 'spends their life sorting out other peoples problems' #and it rlly brings it to focus that he just cannot meet him where hes at anymore #just great conflict that feels actually meaningful and perfectly fits into the roleplay storyline ive made for my character #and omg the line 'im doing this for you too you know. to make sure were both safe. forever' from astari0n is just AAAAAAHDJJDJD. CRAZY #bc we know how toxic he becomes towards you if he completes the ritual!!!!!! #HHHHH this character!!!!! hes just MWAH. perfection #i cant wait until i get to doing the szarr palace again bc this added conflict will make the conclusion of this quest even more satisfying #anyway TOTAL tonal shift time. in start of the cutscene astari0n is standing next to the bed my character was sleeping in #so i can now have the hc that some nights they sleep in the same bed <3 #(WELL. you know. my character sleeps while he meditates)

[scionshtola]

i started writing a whole thing about mir and her mom and then i realized i accidentally gave the briadis family the perfect set up for a tragic family empire tv show

#her mom is a powerful merchant who wants to pass the business on to her kids #her oldest brother is being groomed for the job but he’s better at and prefers life as a ship captain #no matter how hard they try to bring him home! #her oldest sister wants the job TOO MUCH and tries to hard but it’s not good at it #and their mom kind of disdains her for it. lol #elaine is smart enough and good enough with people to do it but she’s too soft #and wants to burn the whole thing down bc they sold mir to the order and stopped her sending letters to her #mir’s younger siblings are enjoying traveling as part of a ships crew while they work their way up but i don’t think their mom #has high hopes for them. #ironically given mir’s personality she might have been good at it if she’d been trained!! #and their mom knows this and knew it before she sold mir to the order but she was never going to let a magianis have control of it #which brings me back to the thing that started this: mir’s mom genuinely thought it was best to sell her to the order bc she couldn’t #protect mir from the consequences of being magianis and thought being trained by the order was the best way to keep her safe #and that if they paid for her they would think of her as an investment (merchant brain logic that was also just her pacifiying herself into #thinking it was right. did she actually believe this?? would it have mattered?? well. who can say!) #they do all have names i just can’t off the top of my head remember ahdhdjsk #oc: mirren sero #i need a text post tag #when was the last time i wrote a wall of tags about her…i miss her #i should add. her mom thought it would keep mir safe but also it was a convenient way to get her out of the way. so

[iguessitsjustme]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but your faves aren’t dating, they’re performing and that’s okay

#just remembering the discourse from last week #some of y’all buy into the act way too much #if it’s to the point that you are harassing others even if those people are strangers online #you’re too invested #it’s a very nuanced topic with a lot of discussion to be had #but that’s what my thoughts basically boil down too #y’all don’t know these people #you know their personas #you don’t know their life so please stop speaking for them about who they’re dating and whatnot #let them do their performance #enjoy it even #but don’t insist that it’s real cause it’s not #and it’s harmful to the actors and to yourselves to assume it is #anyway I’m going to work but had to get these thoughts out first #I may or may not end up being late we’re about to find out

[theskeletoninthegarden]

I had a dream where I was playing as a thief tasked to find out the truth behind the whereabouts of another criminal on a college campus. It was fun in that I was given an overall objective, but absolutely no one gave me an idea as to where to start first. Basically a lot of it involved either me figuring out how to B&E into different offices, or eavesdropping at the right time, but there were other hired thieves that I had to deal with at the same time that added an element of "combat" to the experience.

#personal #but also by eavesdropping and looking into files and etc I picked up stories about the people working and living there #which helped give them actual personalities and overall raised my investment in making sure their home essentially would be safe by the end #as an example there was this lady in her office that i could hear muttering from her computer #I was outside just under the window and my personal goal #personal as in there was no objective marker I just had a hunch #was to get in and look through her stuff #by listening to her mutter I learned that she had a friend in an office nearby that A I had to be wary about showing up #B had a key to the place (but also the doors would be unlocked) #C that she was stressed as hell and thus pretty distracted #the window before the desk was open a bit though she closed it before she left #I remembered thinking that I could have jammed it to keep it from closing all the way #but like the doors she didn't lock it #so i just slid it back open on my own #I learned about her life from her computer and jeez talk about trauma #but learned more so to follow the thread of going to her own friend's office #who as I learned #would be leaving it eventually too #idk there weren't any quest markers #just a large af map with multiple floors and a variety of ways to go about things #and a plethora of NPCs with set schedules I had to learn #Which would change dramatically if people learned I was there #I think it would be overwhelming for some people but tbh it's so what I want out of the genre

[hgduo]

I try to keep things positive on here but todays kinda the exception- I use the tags ‘negative’ or ‘discourse’ on here if you guys want to blacklist those

Also Most of my grief is towards chatters/twt not towards the tumblr fanbase 👍

#sry if I forgot to tag any posts I know how bad that stuff can make people feel #I suffer from rly bad anxiety that gets way worse when I see posts that are vague or generalizing #I’m just feeling kinda angry today and I wasn’t even that invested in the plot line #I guess I’m just more angry about what it means for the story overall and the effect this has on the cc’s + fandom #I’ll try not to talk on it more today unless if it continues to get worse #*tomorrow #not today I meant tomorrow- adhd brain moment sry #also for my own good i dont wanna be too neg on here because like this is the only thing i have in my life rn #that makes me feel happy and i dont wanna lose it cuz im not in a good place rn

[hippo-pot]

just learned how cochlear implants work. even more disgusted now with the contingent of people who insist that *not* giving a deaf child a cochlear implant is somehow neglect

“i’m fine with - actually, insistent upon - making permanent medical alterations to children as long as it benefits *me*, not the children themselves” - asshole proverb

#a) you're signing up for at least one CI-related doctor appointment per year for the rest of your life #and constant maintenance (changing batteries etc) #not to mention the huge initial investment of like learning how to interpret the sounds which takes months #b) up until now getting a CI was guaranteed to destroy any residual hearing in one ear #so if you don't like how the CI processes sound uh too bad you already gave up some of the ability to process sound the way you're used to #(i guess there are new surgery techniques now where this isn't necessarily the case) #c) it's surgery! surgery is invasive! period! #imo this is absolutely something where you can wait for the kid to be old enough to decide for themselves #'but it works better on little kids -' literally don't care #adults get them all the time #it's fine #d) being Deaf is not akin to neglect jesus fucking christ #as long as they have consistent access to communication (other people who sign) they're not being neglected #cochlear implants also have really varied results #so it's likely that you'd just be signing the kid up for working really hard reading lips the rest of their life #and doing speech therapy for years #when easy communication via sign is Right There #like why not let your child take it easy????? like let them have a nice easy childhood? #'neglect' my ass #i actually do think it's fine for a parent to decide they want their kid to have a cochlear implant #i mean idk. i'm no expert. just seems fine to me #as long as they also provide an environment of signing so the kid doesn't have to constantly struggle or lack communication #i'm just saying that parents who opt out of CI for their kids should not be demonized

[autumnhobbit]

.

#going for a second interview at this company feels a lot like religion at this point #namely: you can't prepare because they don't do it like other people #you have no fuckin clue what they're gonna say who's gonna be there what questions they'll ask what they care about #& have no idea how much if any you'll be able to talk #& when you're done you will likely have no idea how you did #i went in like the last day of january & they only called me back now #but it was one of the co-owners instead of hr asking me if i'd found a job yet & asking me to come in #so i will #i had given up on it frankly #don't want to get too invested so we shall see if anything happens #(i say that & yet i'm spiraling inside with all sorts of paranoias about our relationship & the shortness of life & the question of kids #idk. #in a lot of ways the last few years feel like they've turned me on my head & i have no idea who i am anymore or what i want #i have moments of passion & determination but not many & it often feels pointless #i feel helpless to do any of the things i really want to #maybe money will change that & maybe not #all i know is i need a change but i'm terrified of it all the same #i wish i could get over existentialing to death in every phase of my life #and not realizing how good it is/appreciating it until it's over

[noxtivagus]

matty healy. help

#🌙.rambles #i have not been this invested in like. idk stuff like this for such a long time #IT'S NOT TOO invested but like #yk it's just. #okay i won't continue that line of thought bcs i cant complete it but yk #matty healy's actually. rather similar to my ideal type #he's rather intelligent isn't he? n then his voice is really nice #he can play instruments (duh) n then. lyrics. the band's lyrics rlly says a lot abt them n ofc matty too #n then. this is rather embarrassing to say 😭 but ngl my ideal type is a guy but #not. completely cishet. nah #a lil gay in some way. i like that. someone just like me fr yk #matty likes men aesthetically but uhm wldn't do Yeah. just kisses n not escalate it much further iirc #matty's voice is rlly nice n he's so funny 💀 #i'm just saying good stuff here but do take note that i hate idolizing people heavily. i don't idolize him #he's. really good at singing fr tho i really like his voice n #SOMEDAY YK T_T in my (currently nonexistent) love life uh #yeah i'm never going to settle for anything less. like i'm not gna be arrogant or have my ego up in the clouds but #no fucking way will i settle for just the bare minimum nah i'm gna find someone like me #not really find. it'll come to me naturally. something meant for me so long as i just stay true to who i really am. #while. it wld've been nice to have had someone like that already in my childhood n in my highschool years. i think i'll more #likely find someone like that in college? i just.. want to have a feel of that sort of feeling at least in my youth #when i'm not really working yet. just a self-indulgent dream. #but honestly no rush at all #i thrive when i just be myself n. sigh i've genuinely realized that a lot of people don't think the same way as i do #so yk i'll just continue being who i am without giving a fuck (as much as i cld tho bcs i still do get anxious n lonely but yk yh) #n then just. yk the ppl i'll let in my life. i'm very selective about that. #before that though i shld finish this assignment i nearly finished but forgot abt when i started writing this 🥹 #i want to. develop my life holistically. so not just work harder w my studies n my other personal stuff but yk socially too n w my family #n music! music. & stories. my fucking passions along with science. #.. back to matty healy tho his voice rlly is so beautiful. i like him lots. not in a weird way tho he's so much older but i rlly like him.

[docorpheus]

Give me your shipping list

And expose how invested I was in the homestuck fandom growing up? No. Y'all gotta work for that shit!!! Buy me dinner first ;)

#I knew way too many people who were invested in mituna x cronus #why didn't someone save me it wouldve drastically changed my life #docorph #homestuck

[ignorantsackofeyeballs]

WTF TAYLOR THIS SONG TAYLOR!?!?!?

#I’m the bitch that spent 2 months planning which deciding which friend group I was going to join in hs #I’m the bitch that invests way too much too quickly #I’m a scheming bitch that treats people like puzzles to be understood and solved #that try’s to plan out friendships and relationships like they’re part of the chess game we call life #(I’m trying to do it less and let things be organic) #BUT FK TAYLOR THIS SONG #THIS SONG AHHHH #LOVE IT #mmyspamthoughts #my INTJ is showing #:/ >:3 #Spotify #Taylor Swift