#these ideas are sticking to my brain and making me sick so like they really better get done. i got no other choice

[skyberia]

I love your persona 5 comics so so so so so much u really do GET Akechi and Akira and I hope u have an amazing rest of ur day or week or whatever bcuz u deserve it. Tysm for posting ur amazing, thoughtful, interesting art w us!!!!! We’re very lucky!!!

aaaahhhhh thank YOU so much!!!! ;____; it really means a lot that you like them!! i have a lot of thoughts about them that i still would like to share through illustration or comics eventually, your nice words are a great encouragement for me to get to that eventually at some point sometime soon <3

#i'm currently working on a cover for. the physical edition of those two comics actually lmfao but after i'm done w that #i already got a script for smth written. and a general outline for something else. hopefully either of those get done #these ideas are sticking to my brain and making me sick so like they really better get done. i got no other choice

[blueicequeen19]

Dibs

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, vaginal & anal sex, oral, threesome, JJ wanting John B’s girl

The room was smokey and starting to tip on its side from the amount you'd smoked and drank that night. You were totally wasted, more so than you'd ever been in your life. The uneasy feeling in the room didn't help. At least the weed and the alcohol made it a little more tolerable. You just didn't mean to take it so far. The tension was thick between your boyfriend and his best friend. The shitty looks and snarky comments only made you tip the bottle back further. What was the problem?

It seemed that every time you caught the blonde looking at you, John B was there to stick his tongue down your throat. You'd always felt JJ's eyes on you but you didn't think anything of it. Maybe he was just being aware of his surroundings. He knew you were with John B. So why was John B being so possessive.

The buzz seemed to help at first but you quickly realized that it only made JJ more comfortable with his staring and John B became more aggressive with his displays of affection.

You quickly pull away from the kiss, panting and trying to catch your breath while John B tries to pull you in again. You almost miss the way he shoots JJ a look before turning your head for a kiss.

"Stop," You push at John B's chest, trying to put some distance between the two of you. John B shoots JJ a glare. "What's your deal? Why are you acting like this?" You murmur, taking a moment to look between the two males.

"John B is jealous, Y/N." JJ pipes up, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the room again before leveling his gaze on you again. John B bristles as his hands tighten on your waist.

"Why?" You cup John B's face, urging him to look at you as he continues shooting daggers JJ's way.

"Because--," John B swallows before moving his brown eyes to yours, "--JJ has been eye fucking you for awhile and I'm sick of it." Heat and butterflies fill your gut as you try to remain unphased. Part of you liked that you had such an effect on the blonde while the other part didn't want to anger John B further.

"It's only fair. I had eyes on her first but you swooped in like some knight in shining armour like always." JJ shrugs, taking another hit and blowing smoke rings into the air. You were taken aback by this. You didn't know that JJ had been interested. You liked both guys but you'd always been loyal to John B.

"Dude, you don't get to call dips. Either step up and take your shot or sit down and shut up." John B growls at his best friend, pulling you further into his arms.

"This is me taking my shot. You just won't share her." JJ lets his blue gaze roam down your body and your blood seems to burn hotter. He wanted John B to.. share you. John B scoffs before turning back to you, cupping your face and making you look directly at him.

"You don't want that, right? You don't want to be shared?" His tone is even, not giving you a clue to what he really wants. You wanted everything to go back to normal. You wanted him to have his best friend. You didn't want them fighting over you and you didn't want to break up the group.

"I think," You lick your lips before placing a soft kiss to John B's mouth, "I'm okay with it if you are. It's just sex. You're the one I'm in love with." John B tenses under your touch but you could see his cock swelling in his shorts. His body liked the idea even if his brain didn't. John B releases a shuddering breath so you take it upon yourself to loosen his belt and undo his shorts. His cock springs free when you pull his boxers down and you quickly close your mouth around the swollen tip. John B groans, threading his fingers through your hair to guide you.

"She needs to be naked." JJ's voice startles you and you let the cock fall from your mouth as you sit up on your knees on the couch. John B swallows thickly before nodding, carefully helping remove your top. You shimmy out of your shorts until you're left in a bra and panties. John B's cheeks are red as you lean in to kiss him, hoping to ease his discomfort while he reaches around to unclasp your bra. The material falls from your body and he quickly tosses it, his tongue finding its way into your mouth as you kiss.

"Panties too." JJ's words startle you again and you find yourself pulling away from John B to comply, quickly removing your soaked panties. You hadn't realized how much of a mess you'd made. You lock eyes with JJ as you drop the panties to the floor and take in his disheveled state. His eyes were almost completely black from his blown pupils, his chest was heaving with every breath, and he had a massive bulge straining in the front of his shorts.

"Good girl. Now keep sucking." Your heart seems to soar with his praise, your praise kink shining through as John B guides your head back down to his lap. You stay on your knees on the cushion, your ass end exposed for JJ as you suck John B down your throat. The more sounds he made, the hotter you seemed to get. You never shied away from making your man feel good and John B always returned the favor. Only this time it's not John B's fingers that suddenly slide through your plump lips, spreading you wide while smearing your arousal over your throbbing clit. You whimper around John B's cock in your mouth and he groans, using your hair to guide you down further. You gag but refuse to stop. The thought of not being able to see JJ behind you had you trembling with anticipation. His light touches on your pussy were not enough.

"She's fucking soaked, man." JJ rasps, his rings brushing against your trembling thighs. "I think she likes being on display for us." JJ lets the tip of one finger penetrate you and your entire body clenches, begging to be filled. JJ chuckles before slipping his finger fully inside you, making you moan and vibrate around John B's cock.

“Jesus, fuck.” You hear John B croak, his grip tightening in your hair as JJ starts to finger fuck you faster. Your pussy quivers with your impending orgasm, John B’s hold in your hair being the only thing to guide you up and down. Just when the edge is near, JJ stops, withdrawing his fingers to gently rub your throbbing clit. You whimper, letting John B slip from your mouth.

“Why’d you stop?” You sob, feeling John B manhandle you on your hands and knees so you’re facing JJ. John B enters you roughly, making your eyes water before JJ answers.

“Because you’re only cumming on cock tonight.” You moan loudly as John B starts to fuck you, grunting with each movement as JJ frees himself and presses his swollen tip to your lips.

“Suck him, baby. Make him feel as good as you do me.” John B runs a soothing hand along your spine before gripping your shoulder as he hammers into you. You grant JJ access to your mouth, swallowing him as deep as you can while your body jerks with every thrust from John B.

“Fuck, that mouth. You’re so good at that.” JJ moans, tilting your chin so you’re forced to look into his eyes as you feel throat his cock. Tears run down your face as you struggle to catch a breath as your orgasm hits you hard, signaling John B’s own release. JJ growls, pulling you off him as John B slows to a stop and everyone fights to catch their breath. JJ doesn’t give you any warning before pulling your mouth to his and guiding you onto his lap. JJ pulls away long enough to tear his shirt over his head when something square bounces off his chest.

“Put a condom on.” John B growls, making JJ smirk as he plucks the foil from the cushion. You lift up so he can roll the condom on then he’s pulling you down, impaling you on his cock. You suck in a breath, already entirely too sensitive as he starts to thrust up into you, guiding your hips back and forth.

“You like that? Like having two cocks in you in one night?” JJ plucks your nipple between his teeth as your head falls back. You turn your head slightly to see John B watching with hooded eyes, his cock growing hard again as he watches you get fucked by his best friend.

“Yes. I love it.” You moan, never taking your eyes of John B. You reach for him and he happily stands, coming closer and kissing you hard. JJ’s fucking has you moaning against John B’s lips while two sets of hands roam your body.

“I want your ass.” John B growls, letting his warm hand slide down over your bouncing cheek.

“Take it.” You beg, your body threatening to come apart at the seems. John B kisses you harder before pulling away to spit in his hand then hiding it between your cheeks, pressing his spit against your unused hole. You suck in a breath as he penetrates, your body tightening on its own and making JJ growl in response.

“Focus on me. He’s gotta get you ready.” JJ jerks your head back to face him, capturing your lips as John B slips behind you. You get lost in the kiss and the feel of them both. You were in another world as you fought not to scream as John B added another finger to stretch you out. JJ strokes your clit with one hand and torments your nipples with the other, making sure to stimulate you through the pain.

“JJ.” You moan his name and his eyes seem to soften before he’s kissing you again. You don’t know why you set it but you can tell that he loves that you did. Suddenly your head is jerked back and John B is kissing you just as hard. You could tell he was growing jealous again so you reached back, stroking his cock and helping guide him where you want him before he pulls away.

“You tell me if you want me to stop.” John B says, kissing your shoulder after you nod, words being too hard for you to come by. The thick head of his cock presses inside your tight ring of muscle, making the three of you groan in unison.

“Keep going. Don’t stop.” JJ instructs, pulling you against his chest to give John B better access. You whither against him, wanting this to be as incredible for them as it was for you. His cock never seems to end until it’s finally seated inside you. The three of you are panting like you’d tan a marathon, your insides completely full of them. You were so stuffed you could feel it deep in your gut. You felt them everywhere. JJ starts to roll his hips, guiding yours back and forth until John B finds his rhythm.

“So, if you’d fucked me first—.” JJ starts before breaking out into a smile. You shake your head, too cock drunk to answer as hands fondle your body. You were on the brink of the most powerful orgasm you’d ever experienced and nothing was stopping it.

“She’s about to cum.” John B growls, his lips finding your neck as he fucks your ass, pulling out as JJ pushes in. You were delirious and hardly able to keep your eyes open or control the noises you made.

“Fuck, let’s fill her up then, B.”

#smutwarning #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #obx2 #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank x you #jj obx #rudy pankow #john b obx #john b routledge #John b smut #tw dark content

[gooppoo]

jake's mate degrading and slapping him?? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️ masochist jake??? LMAO SORRY

now you're speaking my language 😎 also putting this in hc form cuz that's how my brain wants it

flipping the script.

Requests Closed!

mdni.

warnings: ur on the ride of your life miss girl, slapping, swearing, degrading, p in v intercourse, creampie

Jake had mentioned before he'd like to experiment

Initially you thought maybe letting things get more rough for you

Bondage? Hair pulling?

Oh, you were naive.

"I was thinking, actually..." he picked at his food, "you would top."

This left you puzzled, "Jake, I have been on top before."

"No," he cleared his throat, "like...you take control. Slap me a little bit or something, I don't know." Clearly this was difficult for him to express.

You let the idea marinate in your mind; it didn't immediately turn you off, but you weren't sure if you would like it until you tried it

"Alright." You grinned reassuringly, and Jake's tail swung excitedly.

Let's get up to speed:

Just like Jake had requested, you took the reigns and remained off the ground for the most part

To be transparent...you both noticed the mild power trip you were riding through this entire endeavor

For starters, you dipped your toes in by cumming twice on Jake's charming features - making a point to not hold back your stern instructions

"Faster," he picked up the pace of his tongue, but not enough, "I said faster slut!"

There was orgasm one

Orgasm two looked more like this:

"Shut up and stick your tongue out," you said before dragging your sloppy cunt across his mouth and nose

Now you were ready for the main event, teasing Jake before settling your hips down on him entirely

You rolled your hips along his length, letting it part your folds and nudge your sensitive clit

"Baby - c'mon put it in please-"

Hesitantly, you let the back of your palm crack over his jaw

There was a tense moment of silence and stillness

Then Jake's eyes exploded with carnal lust, which meant yours did too

"Oh...that was pathetic." You scoffed, and took him in you with swiftness

"Shit-!" Jake choked out, you were prompt to bite at him, "Keep quiet, you're making me sick."

At this Jake bit his lip and let his head lull onto the ground

Truthfully, a twinge of fright kept him complying to your orders, the rest was a disturbing curiosity

What exactly were you capable of?

A lengthy, wavering sigh sounded from him as you slid up and down his inches

"You should see your face. I didn't know you could be such a man whore."

Your hurtful words made Jake mewl and sink his blunt nails further into your hips

"I bet you want to fuck up into me so bad, yeah? Try it."

He took your teasing as a massive green light, pouring his heart and soul into the few rough thrusts he could squeeze in before you were leaving his face stinging again

He moaned - and here your true reign of power began

"Did you really think you'd get away with that? Am I making you that fucking dumb?" He groaned, eyes flickering from your waist to your cruel stare, "Gonna answer me? Or just stare with your mouth wide open like a bitch?"

"S-sorry, fuck-" he managed, letting his gaze fall back into his skull

You didn't accept this, "'Sorry? ' Maybe I am fucking you dumb."

With a stifled whine, Jake found more of his voice, "Y-yes you are-! So good, so good to me. Shoulda listened to you baby."

"Much better."

Admits all your humiliating insults and assaults, you couldn't deny the satisfying way Jake stuffed you

Or the way your clit faintly caressed his naval as you reached your hilt and his tip dusted your cervix

Soon enough your energy transferred to using him as a means to reach your orgasm, and nothing more

Everytime Jake would spew praises your way, you'd either cover his mouth or shut your eyes and ignore him completely to focus on tending to your g-spot

"M-I'm close..." you purred

Your thighs were growing weary and even trembling with fatigue

"I'm tired, finish me off," you ordered, allowing your hips to slow

"But-"

"Do what I say."

Jake nodded feverishly and repositioned himself to ram into you from below

His last few forceful strokes let you catch your breath and lose it in the same moment

It was like his cock was shoved the whole way into your throat with the new depths he achieved

Much to your surprise, his fingers tended to your clit

Though your body language was grateful for this, even gently holding his wrist, you still delivered the degradation he had requested: "You're such a cum slut - just wanna feel me cream all over you-"

Jake dryly chuckled, "Of course I do."

A few more powerful thrusts did the trick

To heighten your orgasm Jake continued to toy with your clit so he could feel you pulse around him

Swearing and gasping through the release of your climax and then feeling Jake finish by coating your walls white

Both of you seemed to call it quits at about the same time, flopping onto his torso and his legs falling to the ground

After while, Jake embraced you and kissed the crown of your head

"How'd I do?" You murmured, snuggling against him

Jake smiled, "I'm sure you can feel it."

#avatar #avatar x reader #avatar smut #jake sully #jake sully smut #jake sully x reader #jake sully x y/n #jake sully x you

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

#art year in review #anime-grimmy #fanart #sketch #comic #animatic #undertale #trigun #legend of zelda #monster hunter #kingdom hearts #undead unluck #genshin impact

[whiskeyglassess]

Alone|| Matt sturniolo

Summary:

chris and nic are out of the house, leaving you and matt alone for the first time.. ;) warnings: smut Matt sturniolo x !fem reader

Notes:

this is for the sick freak sturniolo fans like me so if that’s not you don’t read and don’t comment because i don’t want to hear about it bye 💗 this is a 20 year old man sturniolo police.. go away mattxyou/ smut/ friends to lovers/fem reader/ shy to rough matt🫶 this is my first story on here ever guys so lmk what u guys think, idk how often i’ll write or how long the stories will be, but i wanted to post this to see how it would do. i’m also planning on writing chris and maybe nick stories so if you guys have any ideas or requests lmk! 🤲 -ailee

Chapter : alone with matt sturniolo

Chapter Text

you and matt were left on your own together for the first time. you are staying at their place momentarily, while the boys help you move down from boston. they got invited to their friends house but for some reason matt didn’t want to join.

the sounds from the tv were the only thing breaking the silence as you and matt sat on the couch, you scrolled on your phone aimlessly, bored. your eyes started to wander to matt. he was… hot. no, really fucking hot. you’ve always known this and just kept it to yourself, enjoying the daily dose of eye candy without making things weird.

his eyes look in your direction and you make eye contact and realize you’ve just been blatantly staring at him. your face immediately getting hot you look back down at your phone and don’t say a word hoping he won’t either, but knowing matt-

“what are you lookin’ at?” matt questions with a slight smile tugging at his lips, as he nods his head in my direction. “somethin ugly” you laugh at your own joke and stick your tongue out at him immediately regretting it but not showing it. it’s a curse ruining every moment with humour.

“yeah that explains why you were drooling” he comes back making himself giggle. “you wish matthew” you roll your eyes and scoff jokingly folding your arms over your chest. “do not! ew” matt childishly argues back “yeah okay sure..” you tease as you throw your head back in laughter.

matt licks his lips smothering a smirk down knowing you’re right; matt can’t deny he does wish you were drooling over him. his eyes travel down your body looking at your tiny tank top that drives him crazy, he can’t look at you for too long in it. and you just so happen to wear it all the time, making matt fucking desperate. you notice his eyes trailing your body slowly making their way up to your eyes. his face heats up when he realizes you noticed. he clears his throat in order to change the subject again and looks at the tv only to look back at you moments later.

“there’s also no reason for you to call me matthew” matt adds knowing you do it to get a rise out of him. “and what are you going to do about it” you say slightly seductively leaning towards him. matt can’t help himself but look at your tits through the thin material as you move towards him. his eyes shoot up to yours which are also traveling up his body, your eyes tracing his tattoos.

his heart beat immediately increasing and his cheeks burning red as you look up at him with your innocent eyes pretending like you don’t know what you’re doing to him. too shocked to respond matt sits there dumbfound, with his lips slightly parted he breathes out as his brain over flows with thoughts. 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

“are you okay matt, you’re burning up!” you say sounding concerned knowing you’re the cause. you scoot towards him and place your cold hands on his burning cheeks, his breath hitches as you touch his skin.

matt is blushing more at her moving closer to him. his eyes are locked on yours "...uhhh" he mumbled "I-uh" he looks away from you making your hand fall but is still blushing "cmon, im not that red" he says dismissing me “if anything it’s just really hot in here” he smiles holding back a laugh, as he tugs on the neck of his hoodie.

“you’re right it is pretty hot in here” you agree “maybe you should take that off” you suggest in a quieter voice your face burning as well

matt’s eyes are still glued on you, his heart skips a beat as he tugs his hoodie over his head, you follow his swift movements with your eyes and lightly chew your bottom lip.

“matt.. can i.. say something crazy” you blurt out without thinking. matt’s ears perked up at your question as he furrows his eyebrows at you “mhm” he hums softly with a hint of curiosity in it. my heart skips a beat and your breathing starts to get more intense, you look at the ground and debate if you’re going to hate yourself for admitting this or not “i.. want you”you blurted and looked back over at a red faced matt.

matt is speechless from what you said. he looks down at his hands fiddling with the string on the band of his sweatpants nervously before looking up at you again "you really want me?" he says in a hushed tone slightly smirking

you lean closer to him “i’ve always wanted you matt” you whisper in his ear, matt can feel your breath tickle his sensitive neck sending a chill down his spine. he’s radiating feelings he's never felt before. “i...i’ve always wanted you too" he whispered back. you lean back and look in his eyes, he looked so pretty right now. “you don’t know how many times i’ve thought about you matt” you say breathlessly eyes shooting between his eyes and lips.

matt still unable to form a complete sentence was thinking about what you were saying. he was still really nervous but decided to minimize the gap by leaning in even closer to you. as he was now just inches away from you. his heart is pounding out of his chest when he finally worked up just enough confidence to speak again in the most hushed tone "can...can I kiss you...?" he said in an almost whisper, barely able to get the words out

you nod and slowly lean in waiting for your hungry lips to touch. his soft lips smash onto yours, your hands sliding up in his hair gripping onto the back of it. minutes pass of your lips battling for dominance, his ultimately winning.

matts hands explore your waist and hips, he’s thought of the taste of you and the touch of your skin so many times, he grabs onto the skin on your hips roughly, eager for this moment, losing control of himself he snakes his hand around your waist to pull you onto his lap.

you whimper into his mouth at the feeling of him when you sat on his lap, feeling the pressure from the hard huge bulge in his pants makes you grip onto his hair tighter making matt groan and roll his head back, his hands eagerly made their way to your hips making them rock on his lap. releasing some pressure making us both grunt and moan.

matt’s head is rolled back as he’s whimpering mess, he’s clearly been needing you for a while. you feel the same. he’s guiding your hips to slide back and fourth, he looks up at you on his lap and connects your lips again passionately only for him to slide his tongue down your neck to bite and leave hickeys making you moan like crazy in his ear, he can’t help himself anymore, his needs are taking over.

he lifts you up and lies you on your back soon crawling on top of you smashing his lips onto yours once again making you gasp slightly, matt takes this as his opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, you instantly accepting. he’s kissing you rough and wet. matt’s starting to get restless teasing himself by pressing his hips against you. his curious hands grabbing at your skin. you can’t take it anymore either your legs already shaking with anticipation and needyness for him.

matt’s hands slide up your hips to pull down your pants, he breaks the kiss to pull the rest of your pants off while he admires you beneath him, his eyes mainly looking at your dark lust filled eyes, needy for him, and your swollen pink lips from the previous makeouts which you have pinched between your teeth, and your neck and tits which are covered in his hickeys. his signature smirk grows the more he looks at how messy and needy he’s made you for him.

his eyes trail his hands as they slide up your thighs and hook onto the lace of your underwear before he pauses to look at you for permission. you nod your head while pulling on the bottom of the t-shirt he had on. “give me a minute baby, let me look at you.” matt says sliding your underwear down your thighs slowly and teasingly. he’s lustfully looking at you. memorizing every curve and freckle on your beautiful body never wanting to forget this moment.

“matt please fuck me” you beg “im on the pill i want you raw.” you say as you wrap your thighs around his waist making his cock twitch, he grips onto your thighs roughly pulling you closer to him.

he lets go to slide his shirt over his head. he pulls his sweats down his hard dick springing out as he does so. making you squirm slightly. his eyes find yours again and he licks his lips before passionately kissing you again.

you feel him slide his dick between your folds making your back arch and whimper into the kiss. he pulls away disconnecting your lips before he slowly slides himself into you watching your reaction as you stretch around him. his mouth gasping and moaning at how tight you are. your hands grip onto the back of his hair as you whimper, he was bigger then anyone you’ve had before. he struggles to give you a minute to get used to him by slowly pumping into you, he tucked his head in the crook of your neck biting and sucking on your neck while moaning needing to be rougher with you.

it didn’t take you that long to get used to him but minutes pass of you purposefully making him go slow to tease him, watching him slowly thrust in and out of you as he whines and moans, squeezing your hips. you tighten your legs around his waist pushing him fully into you quickly making him moan and curse under his breath. “faster” you moan as you look up at him. he instantly obliges and picks up speed. both of you moaning messes, matt’s hands still exploring your body, feeling you and kissing your skin. he’s jerked off to the thought of this since he’s met you, so naturally he’s excited. making it harder for him to last, he stopped himself before he got too close to make this last longer. he pulled out his throbbing dick and rested it on your lower stomach, his breath heavy letting out small moans on every exhale.

he looks in your eyes with a little bit of shame “i’m sorry i was going to cum” he admits sheepishly. “it’s okay” you giggle and kiss his already burning red cheek, pulling his head down for him to lay on your chest, matt didn’t complain and muffled a smile as he laid on your boobs like a pillow.

after a few seconds of catching your breaths he sits up on his knees and takes your hand to make you sit up, he sits down and pulls you on his lap. you smile at him then slide down his dick automatically making both of you moan, you start to ride him with your hands on his chest traveling up to his hair. him moaning and grunting with every bounce, his hands gripping your tits underneath your tank top. before he slides it over your head. admiring your tits, he starts to kiss your collarbones and all over your tits making eye contact the whole time. his pretty blue eyes looking up at you from between your tits was enough to almost send you over, the feeling of his soft lips nipping at your tits and his dick in your stomach had you squeezing him in between your thighs.

matt feels you begin to tighten around him as you slow down to stop yourself. without second thought he grabs your hips and thrusts into you, he needed to make you cum. he pounded his dick into you, and held your hands behind your back. he watched you moan and whine as you became closer. you tighten around his dick letting him know you’re cumming. he goes harder. “fuck matt” you moan out as you feel the knot in your stomach release and you cum all over him. matt’s breath is heavy and hot, still watching you cum on him. his eyes dark.

he keeps pounding himself into you faster and harder, his hands on your hips holding you up, your legs are weak and trembling as you moan out his name. he starts grunting and moaning out your name as he gets closer and cums inside of you.

his breath is heavy and his heart is pounding. you sit up and he pulls out of you making all of his cum spill out onto his sensitive dick. he watches with his mouth slightly open “oh my fuck” he says under his breath. he looks up at you and a smile tugs on his and your lips. you climb off and he slides his pants back up. never looking away from you. you shyly slide your underwear and tank top back on to have some clothing on.

he slightly pouts when you pull your shirt down cutting off his view from your perfect tits. but smile instantly returned when you scooted beside him. he smiled and wrapped his arms around you and laid down pulling you with him, causing you to start to laugh.

#sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo #smut #sturnproductions #professional yapper #fanfic #sturniolo triplets

[chiyoso]

original pin

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

#real shit i think i just need dick #that or a love so overwhelming from a person that theyll die for me cos id do the same

[cyberrose2001]

TFP Optimus x human!fem!reader

"ROSE I'M FREAKING OUT AAA I LOVE YOUR WRITING!! I am currently watching Prime so reading your Optimus fluff made my heart skip a beat! May I ask for more Optimus x reader (in a female perspective) fluff, and in a common situation like preparing for something humanly important (a ball perhaps)?? I don't got too many ideas but I would love to read anything coming from you! Please stay well 🌹❤️" - requested by @weaksall

Thank you so much!! This was such a cute idea! I found this amazing dress that I think is just gorgeous for this fic -> https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/706713366535507663/

I also didn't specify any hairstyles too because not everyone has long hair that they can style <3 I hope this is satisfactory!! 💕

Warnings: None! Just fluff

Word count: 1618

Today is a rather important day for you. Your work is hosting a gala ball to raise money for charity, and you are required to attend. You had never been to a ball and the thought of picking out grand outfits to wear and accessories has always excited you. Miko, of course, wanted to help you go shopping at the small selection of boutiques that Jasper has to offer. She may be into the alternative type of fashion, but the young girl has a passion for all types.

“Oh! What about this one, (Y/n)?” Miko drags you by the arm towards yet another boutique. You almost stumble as the stacks of boxes you’re holding pretty much blind your vision.

“Miko!” You laugh, “I think I have enough dresses to last me the rest of my life.”

“Oh, come on! You never know when you need…” She pauses to count the boxes in your hand, “Four, five…. eight outfits!”

You roll your eyes as you let her drag you into the boutique. Looking around, you don’t see anything that catches your eye. However, Miko is practically running around the joint pointing at different dresses and sending your mind for a spin.

“Miko, let’s just go.” It was your turn to drag her through the shop, as much as you love her, if you spent another hour dress shopping with her you were sure you would lose whatever brain cells you had left.

Before you could drag a sad Miko out the door, you spotted a gorgeous navy-blue ball gown that sparkled like the night sky. It had a heart shaped neckline with lace trimmings around the edges that tapered off to create a small off the shoulder sleeves. And by the all spark, you had to have it.

Miko followed your eyes towards the gown, and she grinned, “Do you want to try it out?”

-

It had been a week since Miko accompanied you to the boutiques and today was the gala ball. You had set up a small makeup station in the human area of the base, Miko of course going through it all trying to find the best shades of eyeshadows and lipsticks to use and making a mess.

“Alright, (Y/n),” Miko held out two sticks of lipsticks, “Purple or blue? Oh! What about GLITTER? OR- “

You wished you could rub your eyes in frustration, but you didn’t want to ruin your foundation, “Miko, sweetheart, how about a nice neutral shade? It’s a gala not a drag show.”

Miko dramatically tosses the lipsticks back into the makeup bag, “Yeah but you would look so cool!”

As you were applying your contour, blush and the colours of the eyeshadows that Miko picked out for you (they were colours you liked thank goodness), Optimus Prime had walked over towards the human area, curious about the commotion.

“(Y/n),” He looks around at all the different things that are scattered around on the floor, “May I ask what this is all for?”

You froze. You had not expected the boss bot himself to ask about makeup, Arcee maybe, but not Optimus. It doesn’t help the fact that you have been in love with Optimus since you first met him, but the way his eyes fill with curiosity as he asks the question warms your heart a little bit. You exhaled and placed the makeup brush you held in your hand down.

“Today is a really important event for my job, they’re hosting a huge charity gala to raise money to help sick kids.” You explained as best as you could to the bot, but you could read his face and tell that he was still a little bit confused.

“A… gala?” He raises an optic ridge.

“Yeah, it’s like a really fancy party.” You smiled, “You get to wear nice clothes, socialise with other people and- “

“And there’s LOTS of fancy food!” Miko butted in, “I’m talkin’ seafood, barbeques and sooooo many desserts…”

Optimus glances towards the young girl, then back to you.

“So, this gala,” He begins, “It is a culturally significant gathering for humans?”

You nod your head, picking up the makeup brush again, “Yeah, it’s a way for humans to come together for a cause, or just to have fun and make friends!”

Optimus hums and that makes you seem to think that he is satisfied with your answer. He watches as you delicately swivel the brush over your eyelids, admiring the movement of your hands. Your focus may be on the mirror, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“You mentioned nice clothes,” Optimus says, “Are you planning to wear something… ‘fancy’?”

“You don’t get to see that yet!” Miko perks up, she then grabs two lipsticks and holds them out to Optimus. “But you can help (Y/n) pick a lipstick colour, she doesn’t like MY choices."

You can feel your face heat up as you watch Optimus’s optics flicker between the two lipsticks with a raised optical ridge. You really do hope that Miko knows what she is doing.

-

It was noon, you and Miko had just finished the last touches and adjustments to your gown. You had brought a large mirror to the base so you can fully see yourself in the reflection, safe to say that you looked like a literal princess. Miko jumps up and down as she admires her work.

“(Y/n)!! You look so beautiful!” Miko squeals as she pulls you into a hug.

“Thank you, Miko.” You laugh at her energy, hugging her back. One would think that you were getting married by the way she reacts to you.

“I can’t wait to see what Optimus thinks of you.” She grins. You pull her out of the hug and give her a confused look.

“What do you mean?” Your heart is racing fast, “Why would Optimus care about how I look?”

Miko gives you a dead-panned stare, dropping her arms to the side, “Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way he looks at you, (Y/n)?”

Of course you have, but you’ve always thought that those were a different kind of stare, not because he… likes you.

“No," You lied, staring at yourself in the mirror again, “Even if he did, I doubt that he would have time for me, he is the leader of the Autobots… he has enough on his plate as it is.”

Miko rolls her eyes and leans against you, “Don’t sell yourself short, he is gonna faint when he sees you.”

She then takes your hand, dragging you out of the room, “Come on, it’s nearly time to leave anyway.”

You let her drag you out, what Miko said is now engraved into your brain and is now on a constant replay. Have you seen the way he looks at you?

Whilst you were distracted by the thoughts in your head, Miko had stopped you just before the door to the main area of the base, “Wait here, I’m gonna go and make sure that everyone is ready.”

“Ready for what?” You tried to question her, but she shushed you as she ran off. You’re awkwardly standing there now, occasionally fluffing your gown. You haven’t the slightest clue on what she is up to.

A few moments later, Miko calls out, “Ok (Y/n), come out now!”

You take a deep breath as you walk out, holding you gown to keep it from dragging on the floor. Your heart is practically jumping out of your chest.

You walk out to a crowd consisting off all of team prime, some are stunned to silence, and some are cooing and gushing about how beautiful you look. You decided to give yourself a boost of confidence and give them a twirl, the base of the gown flaring out as you do so.

“Wow, you clean up real good, kid.” Wheeljack nods with folded arms. Bumblebee and Bulkhead (with Miko perched on his shoulder) are practically swooning, Arcee is admiring your hair and makeup, Smokescreen is telling you how amazing you look, and Ratchet is scoffing about how silly this all is, but secretly he thinks that you look nice. Jack and Raf are also enamoured.

Optimus, however, is simply stunned to silence. His dermas slightly agape and a blue hue ever so slightly creeps onto his face. He loves the way the gown flows and the small intricate details on your torso, and he thinks the colour of the dress suits you perfectly. The lipstick he picked out for you was a classic red lip with a slight tinge of purple. And he now understands why humans were obsessed with the stuff; he could not stop staring.

You shyly thanked everyone for the compliments and noticed that Optimus had stepped closer to you and leaned down. You stiffen up a little bit as he held out a servo towards you, he touches the dress very gently.

“You look absolutely exquisite, (Y/n).” Optimus says, optics now staring into your eyes. Your cheeks flush at his words. You then gently took the digit that was toying with your gown and gave it a hug.

“Thank you, Optimus.” You smiled, you were sure that he could feel your heartbeat against his servo, “Do you think the lip colour ties it all together?”

His face flushed as you winked at him and then he smiled, knowing that he was the one that picked it out, “Indeed.”

Off to the side out of view while you and Optimus are sharing a sweet moment, Miko is holding out her hand so that a defeated Bulkhead can hand her an imaginary dollar bill, “Told ya he had the hots for her.”

#transformers #transformers prime #tfp #tfp optimus x reader #tfp optimus x human reader #x reader #fluff

[idkfitememate]

People: In my Inbox with really great ideas that I wanna write really bad and waiting for Pt. 3 of Boar!Creator.

Me with my Pea Brain and tiny attention span:

What if, in a SAGAU, the reader/imposter was actually straight up a psychopath. Like a literal insane person. The “Imposter” who got here first is genuinely a good person who adores all the characters and really just wants them to live happily.

Whereas the second reader gets there and their first objective is to find a way home.

And this time?

They do!

So once that happens, the thought that Genshin Impact truly is just a game sticks to their head like glue.

In real life they’re like me an angst lover, a pathetic little man/woman lover. They like to see people cry and bleed in order to get their love. A real sadist.

So they go back in.

Walk to the middle of Mond while and slice their hand with a stone, revealing the golden blood beneath their skin.

But instead of kicking their imposter out, they keep them by their side, loving and doting on them just to see the heart broken faces of their acolytes.

Or.

They allow themselves to get killed.

Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and-

Until someone finally notices their blood.

How they’d love if it was Zhongli. He’s been dubbed the most loyal. To see his expression over their crumpled dead body would leave them feeling such ecstasy they’ve never felt before.

They’d sit on their throne and watch as their acolytes cry as they don’t forgive them. As they grin down and ask where this loyalty was when they stabbed them and shot them. When they burned and froze and drowned them. When they buried them in rock and grew flowers in their lungs.

They’d force them to beg on their knees and still turn them away. To prostrate themselves before their god, and still be shooed off like scum beneath their foot.

To watch as you turned away the sick and less fortunate as a punishment for not being able to realize their true creator.

To feel like this isn’t enough. To want their blood on their hands.

To show their power over them.

…

…

…

They killed the Archons.

All seven.

Blood drenched the stage as onlookers screamed and cried. Their sword drenched in the divine blood.

To then raise them back from the dead.

Watch as tears stream down their face as they beg and plead for you to stop. They they’ll repent in anyway, but to never do that again.

When Venti’s voice hit a pitch they disliked, they stabbed. Over and over. Like the arrows he allowed to riddle their body.

And when they finish they bring him back one more time.

They go through all the characters who hurt them. One by one they are killed and brought back. Their blood staining their Creators skin.

They begin to push the boundaries even further.

Asking for sacrifices and offerings of higher calibers.

They asked for the skin of those who hurt them. Eyes and ears, fingers and teeth.

And to those who didn’t hurt them?

They are forced to attend a feast of their “friends” skin and bone.

Forced to eat as their creator happily munches away on someone’s thigh.

This is how to make their creator happy, right?

The disgusting sound of bones crunching as their force themselves to stomach their friends bodies.

This was their reward… right?

In both endings they dote on their imposter, loving on them to watch as their disgraced acolytes try their hardest to pray for their forgiveness.

Praying that they would fix their broken bodies.

Watching as their wounds reopened from the positions they prayed in. Blood pouring from their open bodies for them.

When the acolytes look away for less than a second they shove their fingers behind their eyes, pulling them out because “If not to keep their gaze on me, why should they see?”

When the acolytes touch another to push them away from their Creator, they force their finger back into god awful positions, ripping them off because “If not to touch me, why should they feel?”

When the acolytes taste the food not offered by their Creator, they pull their tongue out with bare hands because “If not to taste my offerings, why should they taste?”

When the acolytes smell the scent of someone else, they rip their noses from their face because “If not to smell my godly scent, why should they smell?”

When the acolytes hear the voice of another and lean towards the sound, they tear their ears right off their head because “If not to hear my pure sound, why should they hear?”

But to keep them reeled in, they offer two things.

When truly impressed, they praise their acolytes. One at a time. Slowly, teasingly. Small things. Watching as the others get jealous I’ve the one whose head you now hold in your lap. Whose face runs with tears and drool and snot as you run your hand through their hair. How they get caressed instead of slapped. How they get to feel the rare gentleness of their fingertips instead of the carnage they usually reap.

And if they’re especially lucky they’ll get both them and their imposter partner praising them and petting them.

The amount of times they had to bring back an acolyte after the others killed them out of envy was amazing.

The other way?

Using their control of the game, they’d “possess” an acolytes body, and begin killing people in that body. Sometimes they’d make everyone aware it was their Creator, sometimes they wouldn’t.

But the acolyte would have to live with the fact that the blood of those around them now sat on their hands, even if they couldn’t control it.

And they’d say that they just had to be stronger. If they’d been better. If they had just been a bit tougher. Maybe… maybe this wouldn’t have happened… maybe…

They watch as the mental states of their acolytes crumbles under their heel. As they become more and more desperate to appease their Creator and dependent on their small praise.

But the ultimate punishment. Is when they leave to return to their world.

Leaving them all behind. Probably even taking the Imposter with them.

Watching them beyond the screen as they scream and cry and beg for them back. Playing the game and completing quests as all the playable characters voice lines become pleads for them to return.

Dying over and over and bringing them back, joking that since they haven’t played for a while they’re getting rusty. Forcing them through boss fights and losing on purpose bear then end so they have to do it over. And over.

Just an asshole who fully believes that their lives don’t matter because they’re trapped in a game and they can leave at anytime.and because of their status, they can do whatever they want to these people who are so desperate to please their Creator.

… Anyway I wanna eat a cookie :3!

╭◜◝ ͡ ◜◝╮

( 🍪 )

╰◟◞ ͜ ◟◞╯

/)/)

( . .)

(づ ︴༄

(I got more ideas like this and OC’s but idk if anyone would want to listen to me rant about them… this was supposed to also be an OC blog as well… damn ໒꒰ྀི × ˕ ×｡꒱ྀི১-)

#Gonna go eat a cookie now #Got so many fucked up ideas #but no one is listening #and that’s okay #but I’d still love to talk about em if anyone is listening #໒꒰ྀི˶˃ᆺ˂˶ ꒱ྀིაplz #<3

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

My thoughts & feeling about the Imbibitor Lunae's recent story leaks, in regards to Renheng / Xingyue & Dan feng himself

i'm pretty sure other folks have made posts trying to piece together the timeline, but even with the actual story sections the events of Dan Feng's sins are still super unclear

Starting with Dan Feng because he's my skrunkly; this dude really thought his power and position made him god-like with little regard to mortals below him while fighting with the HCQ

i know there were past leaks where DF was vaguely described as pretty emotionless and detached. but man he really does not give a shit people with his active detachment BUT the quick gazes & mentioned sharing drinks with the HCQ really makes it seem like DF went from consistent detachment throughout his current & past lives and then became absolutely ride or die for his (new) friends.

I have a feeling that the constant cycle of being reborn & being forced immediately into preparing to be the High Elder, Being the High Elder & caring out those duties, and dying as the High Elder. The cycle keeps going on and on. He probably had no TIME to indulge in normal ass things like friends or any other non-professional social life. But them he meets these 4 weirdos who treat him as just One Of The Guys and immediately comes ride or die for them.

The mask of emotionless & cold detachment comes crumbling down around his new found friends. This honestly probably punches DF in the gut because these sensations are new and wack to him, I love the idea of him being a lil unhinged and drunk on the power of friendship BUT ONLY with the HCQ. the emotional whiplash the people around him problem experience is probably so hilarious because they see him having a blast with his friends and theyre like omg is that the high elder omg i didn't think he was such a party lizard but then IMMEDIATELY goes back into his cold & collected personality the moment someone else interacts with them all. The moment he starts feeling the power of friendship he's like "am i sick? whats happening to me oh my god why does my brain feel like bees" unable to process the emotions trying to reboot his brain constantly like a fucking windows computer. we love an autistic king!

ok this was supposed to a more serious post abt DF & the actual events in the leaked story but my brain automatically thinks of HCQ shenanigans

do i need to say more about "that exceedingly arrogant craftsman" like holy Fucking Shit this is fucking gay. his emotionless detachment in battle & his quick/mostly neutral thoughts about his other friends, but with Yingxing he goes into gay annoyance/admiration mode.

I really wish that Yingxing wasn't a short-lifed species because this whole dynamic SCREAMS slow-burn to me. DF's standoff-ish behavior & genuine annoyance towards YX and his arrogance but it slowly becomes more & more endearing as the rest of the HCQ get him to come outta his "stick up his ass" shell to eventually the realization hits and becomes giddy & drunk on his overwhelmingly intense love for YX and becomes a slightly feral lizard, even in public with the HCQ And giving YX gay gay homosexual gay immortality dragon heart juice would still be a thing with YX dying in battle.

Before I end this, I'll just touch up on the more Depressing events in DH IL's story leaks:

DF's emotional detachment to others & friendly relationship with the HCQ leads him & YX to wanting to carry out some sort of "Plan" which probably involves whatever conversation DF & YX we were able to listen in on at Scalegorge Waterscape (or was DF just sneaking YX into Scalegorge Waterscape so that he could research Vidyadhara craftsman techniques?). But since these are DH's dreams even HE doesn't know whats going on.

my general thought process was: DF & YX are planning something together (making YX immortal?), weird fucking shapeshifting flesh monster is tthere?, YX telling him to commit to a decision, DF having the star & red bloodcell vision (was he glanced at by Yaoshi while trying to use the Dragon heart to make YX immortal?), Then Baiheng comes crashing into to try and stop the monster (why was she THERE?)

it doesn't make sense that Baiheng was the one DF planning to bring new life to. Since her sudden appearance is a surprise to him & YX was only described as wounded but able to protect and use his sword

since these are DH's dreams & fragmented memories. With out the other story beats, could it be possible that the "bury his old friend" and "grant them new life" were two different people? DF coming to grant YX immortality but Baiheng gets disintegrated thus DF buries a friend & give the other new life.

Were missing a lot of context here, did YX later get injured so badly that DF tries to revive him? or was the Yaoshi flesh monster completely unrelated and they HCQ were trying to stop it and beiheng fucking dies? does DF try to bring Baiheng back while having his weird ass blood and flesh vision & things go Very Wrong and YX gets caught in the crossfire, making him into the monster we know today? is that why Blade is always going on about how him & DF have to pay the price for THEIR sins? They tried to bring Baiheng back and committed the greatest taboo and they created something horrible (Baiheng abomination & Blade's immortality?)

I'm gonna try Not dwelling on the details here since we need even MORE context now. This post is getting SO long, i will leave it at that & think more about HQC domestic bliss

#honkai star rail #hsr leaks / #dan feng #imbibitor lunae #blade hsr #renheng #xingyue #yappin

[goodluckclove]

Im not writing because idk this week has been a bit mentally tiring for me but i do want to write. Thing is, next chapter is a little too straightforward except for one interesting thing, which is an idea that i've thought over so many times i'm no longer particularly excited by it

Oh shit I was just talking about something like this with @mercuryytheraven! It's sort of a theory I've been developing that I've never put into words because, up until now, I still kind of thought I was a Big Weirdo for writing entire novels with next to no plans.

Here's how my brain works, though and it's why I can't do outlines. If I plan an idea with too much detail and it sticks in my brain for long enough, I have no interest in writing it. There's nothing left to explore or change around and that's some of the most fun I have while working on a story. So I have to change it.

Not completely, not necessarily. Like in Songbird there was supposed to be a big conflict between Scott's mom and Edgar's mom in the Cafe du Monde in New Orleans. I had the whole set up planned and if I wrote it the way I was thinking it would've probably been cool. But the story no longer worked to make that happen, and I was like big dang what now?

What now is that I still have the meaning of that scene, only with different specifics. And it's even cooler. Except I purposefully can't think about it too hard or else I might lose interest, or get bummed if it doesn't fit again by the end of book two.

So yeah, if the writing isn't interesting to you there's stuff you can do to remedy that. It might involve going off script, but that doesn't mean completely changing the course of the plot as a whole. Maybe you make small shifts in structure or narrative to tell the event from a different angle. Or you switch out the people involved in the event - that changes a lot of how it goes down in a really neat way. Or maybe the event is told in retrospect through someone else explaining it.

What would be neat? What would make you furrow you your brow and nod in satisfaction, alone in your room? Perhaps even a quiet fuck yeah whispered in the depths of your brain?

All in all, don't be too precious to the ideas in your head. They are fetal and have not proved their ability to survive in the real world. I am only using this metaphor for specifically you because to anyone else I would worry about sounding utterly psychotic.

But generally if you're tired you shouldn't push too hard to feel like you have to create. You don't need to constantly produce in order to be considered a valid and respectable writer. Maybe think about what would be fun to play with tonight - no plans, just sick kickflips - and get started tomorrow!

#writeblr #writing asks #writing tips #writing inspiration

[finn-m-corvex]

Someone You Loved

Needed a brain break from Whumptober so I wrote this in an hour instead. Haven't listened to Lewis Capaldi for a long time but this song popped up in my playlist and it gave me Jaya vibes so here we are. Kinda similar to Sounding Sea but also not, mostly because I never thought I would write a songfic in my life, but hey, plans change. Literally almost just had a panic attack as I was cleaning this up because I thought I deleted it but nope we're all good. Enjoy everybody!

Words: 2k

TWs: depression, mentions of anxiety, basically all the same stuff as Sounding Sea.

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy

Oh, he was crazy alright. But maybe it was just the hunger talking.

He had never really been one for doing things halfway. Something either got all of his effort or none of his concern and there was very little in-between. Now, he was wishing that he had more gears than forward and reverse; was that why humans created cars with multiple modes? To make up for the fact that they couldn't ever take the stick and pull it back to spare their feelings? Was it all just some sick scheme of taking back control?

No, that was stupid. He let his head thunk against the stone wall behind him, ignoring the bruises littering his skin and the blood welling from the cuts and scratches inflicted across his body. Jay had plenty of stupid ideas already, what was one more?

I need somebody to heal Somebody to know Somebody to have Somebody to hold

And of course, like a goddamn fool he had fumbled it. Fucked it up most likely beyond repair, just because he didn't come with a gearshift to dial his love back. She had known better than any of the others, always picked up on his mood shifts and his anxiety and his everything before he even knew what was going on; sometimes she was even faster than Cole. Before then Jay had never met someone with that ability, because most people would turn a blind eye to him at best and try to hurt him at worst. Kinda like what was happening right now, actually.

She wasn't like most people.

First Master, how stupid was he?

It's easy to say But it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain

He did. Fuck, he missed her so much. He missed the way she made him feel like he was on top of the world, like he could do anything and be anyone. Anxiety couldn't touch him, his insecurities powerless against the encouraging words she would feed him whenever he started to doubt himself. What was he now?

Stuck in a shitty pirate ship with no friends and no way of calling for help after possibly fucking all of them over for what might be the last time.

Well, at least he wouldn't be able to damn them anymore, right?

The ball and chain was heavy on his ankle, and he had to drag it up by hand so he could tuck his knees against his chest, looking up at the bright sky through the grate. His hands were blistered from how much he had been mopping the deck, but it was still much more preferable to Scrap n' Tap.

He tried to imagine how it would sound for her to say 'I love you.'

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay was still trying to imagine it when night finally fell, a dark blanket smothering out his one light source and casting the rest of his cell into darkness. He couldn't say that he ever had a problem with the dark before now, but the shadows were stretching just a little too much, the corners just a little too obscured and his vision was too fuzzy as it was adjusting to the new level of light. He supposed one of his eyes being basically out of commission wasn't helping.

Tears tried to leave his eyes but he blinked them back, determined not to cry. Nya wasn't here, and Cole wasn't here, and crying wasn't going to change that. He could do this, he could get through it.

Being left to his own devices left too much time for him to start going down memory lane, and he was thrust into the memory of the day when his world shattered apart, the shards gouging holes in his heart to leave gaping wounds that he didn't know how they would heal at the time. His head had been hurting like he had smashed it into the wooden floor of the Bounty, winded as if he just recovered from a bad fall.

He wanted it back. Why couldn't he just have it back?

I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you

He loved her too much to try and push her away again, and yet here he was, keeping her at arms-length when all she wanted to do was get closer and try to help.

Younger him would've rejoiced, reveled in the knowledge that Nya wanted him out of all people, but Jay knew better now. Knew how easy it was to get swept up in the current, to lose yourself in the tide that never quite receded.

To drown in it, because eventually you would forget that you had to keep swimming.

Sleeping was something that didn't come easily to him anyway, but now it was impossible to find. Apparently he had pissed off Mr. Sandman too, as he would spend night after night springing awake from some bad dream or another, only to find some sort of project in this damn lighthouse to keep him occupied. He needed distractions; distractions from how he had left Kai behind, how he didn't protect Zane, how he had damned Cole and Lloyd and Wu and Misako and everyone else in fucking Ninjago-

But mostly? He couldn't stop thinking about he had damned her too.

Now, I need somebody to know Somebody to heal Somebody to have Just to know how it feels It's easy to say but it's never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape

She was right there. Nya was right there and he failed her, again.

Jay shivered in his chair, looking around his parents' trailer to try and find any trace of her. The only thing he could find was a framed photo that he had given his parents forever ago, from before their messy breakup and the fights and the Djinn. From when they were still happy. Sure, they were both smiling, Jay's arm wrapped around her shoulders and her arm around his waist, but...

Were they ever really happy? Or was Jay just too scared to admit that something wasn't right?

He clutched the photograph in his hands, watching as the wooden frame started to crack under the pressure. Maybe it was just because he grew up poor, but the cost of his escape had been too steep; it should've never been her.

It never should have been her.

But it was, and there was nothing he could about it now. The best he could do was hope and pray that his plan to rescue her wouldn't fall through, because he was running out of prayers.

It worked, and the price for that had been steep too. Would the heavy costs and the sacrifices ever end?

Years passed, and against his better judgement Jay thought that maybe it would.

Now the day bleeds Into nightfall

Was it night? He couldn't tell anymore. Slipping in and out of sleep was confusing, to say the least, and he had no idea how long he had spent laying down on this uncomfortable couch before someone would be lulling him back to sleep. Mr. Sandman must be taking pity on him.

And you're not here To get me through it all

But Nya was here; he could hear her voice, whispering to him in soft tones with gentle words, kissing his cheek and then his lips and playing with his hair and trying everything she knew to try and get him back to sleep.

Was he going crazy? Again?

First Master, it really was just like the ship all over again. He didn't remember the voices being able to touch him, though. That part was new. Oh well.

Gotta enjoy a nice dream while it lasts, right?

Why did someone start sobbing when he said that out loud?

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay loved that she loved him, cared for him, trusted him, and he trusted her with his life and his soul. Knowing that she was there at his side always helped him get through the days; he was sure that he wouldn't still be here if something had ever happened to her. They were two halves of the same piece; maybe they didn't quite fit together all the way, but there was nothing they wouldn't do to make it work, that Jay wouldn't do to make it work.

So really, she had to stop doing stupid self-sacrificing shit. But he guessed that he wasn't really one to talk.

But becoming the sea?

And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes I fall into your arms I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

She was never coming back around. Jay stood outside of the lighthouse, looking out across the ocean and watching as the tides flowed in and out, taking in the rocks just off-shore and the small rip-currents jaggedly cutting through the calm surface of the water.

Jay turned around, feeling the breeze start to blow his jacket into his back. Shutting his eyes, he let his element buzz around him, crackling and fizzing and popping The darkness was something familiar; he knew what to expect when he shut his eyes for too long, and he needed the familiarity no matter how traumatic the origins were. Without hesitating he let himself fall backwards into the surf, the cold water making him freeze up instantly as it washed over his face and into his nose.

He suppressed the natural urge to fight and get his face out of the water.

What was the point when she wouldn't be there to tell him how stupid he was being? To say that he should've worn a thicker jacket, to dry his clothes, to snuggle with him in the bed until he could finally feel his fingers and play with her hair?

For now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jay wrote the same words over and over at least once a night. He didn't know why he was fixating so hard on them but he couldn't stop, and even now as his hands were trembling and his hair was dripping seawater onto the pages he was writing the same seven lines again. There was no one there to kiss his cheek and offer him tea and to laugh at how his hair looked like he had been dunked in a mop bucket.

He should've just stayed in the goddamn ocean.

But now the day bleeds Into nightfall And you're not here To get me through it all I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

For some reason, Jay cut out the first two lines eventually. After a while, it just got a little redundant to keep saying that the day would go away and be replaced by the night; at least, that was his best guess for why one day he started writing three lines instead of seven. He read them over and over, again and again, feeling the bitterness and the anger and the sadness consume him from the inside out, and Jay knew that Nya would not recognize the man standing on the beach if she ever decided to walk back onto land one day.

But she never would, and Jay would never get used to the loss that spread through his chest like a disease, a cancer that there was no way to treat.

I let my guard down And then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

#finn's writing #ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago songfic #jaya #ninjago jaya #shockwave #shockwaveshipping #anyways. should probably get back to work on whumptober tomorrow #but just wanted to write a little something something for you guys!

[taleasnewastime]

Dating advice | Part six

Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, low self-esteem, mentions a parents death in the past, awkwardness,

Authors Note: Thanks for all the love so far! Things are about get a bit spicier.

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“You bring dates here now?”

Everything in you goes tense at the sound of the voice. It’s light, the words sound like they’re an attempt at a joke, but when you look at Yoongi his face doesn’t reflect the tone. His eyes are wide as they flick between you and the man next to you, his smile looks forced. Part of your brain tricked you into believing, perhaps hoping, that Yoongi wasn’t working tonight to see this, but of course, there he stands.

Even after all the drinks you’ve had tonight, you feel sober under his gaze. You force a smile to your lips as you watch Yoongi’s eyes continue to flick between you and the man stood next to you. Yoongi has never seemed like someone with a judging character but even you can see his mind working.

“This is Jimin,” you refrain from looking at him as you stick your thumb in his direction, you know the smile that hasn’t left his lips since he convinced you to bring him here will still be there. “My stupid friend who’s bought me way too many drinks tonight already.”

“And who’ll be buying her at least one more,” Jimin cuts in, moving forward to make himself comfortable on one of the bar stools. “We’ll have two of your finest G&Ts please Yoongi.”

If Yoongi catches the fact that Jimin has called him by his name without you introducing him, he doesn’t say anything. You take a seat next to Jimin as you watch Yoongi pour out your drinks. If your leg was closer to the ground and not dangling off the bar stool you’re sure it would be bobbing with nerves. You can practically feel Jimin buzzing next to you. He really needs to calm down.

“You guys stay open late,” you say lamely, searching for anything to say that will stop Jimin blurting something out. “Don’t think I’ve ever come here this late before.”

“Open till 1,” Yoongi replies as he pours the tonic into your drinks. “So you’ve hit it at the perfect time.”

You hum, eyes wonder around the bar. It’s already half 12, you wouldn’t be surprised if Yoongi has called last orders. And yet he still places two gin and tonics down in front of you. Neither of you have to say anything as you pull out your card and he produces a card machine, even though it was Jimin who asked for the drinks you’re happy to pay.

“Big night out then?” Yoongi asks, eyes dancing across your face before looking at Jimin. Anxiety grabs you as it so often does around Yoongi, you hope it’s not because your make-up’s smudged or you have red eyes or anything to suggest you’ve had a big night. Really you know it’s because you’ve said you’ve been out drinking, but your mind always wonders and overthinks with this man around.

“Y/N here is moping,” Jimin says with a roll of his eyes, a large gulp of his G&T already gone. “Four dates and still no bite.”

You shove the glass in your face, focus on the ice in your glass to avoid the look you know Yoongi is shooting you. You know you shouldn’t have brought Jimin here tonight, don’t know what the hell he did to convince you to come. You’ve not had that much to drink but maybe you’re more drunk than you thought if you ever thought this would have been a good idea.

“Anyway, I thought I’d take her out to show her what a good night looks like,” Jimin carries on, oblivious. “Because you’re going to get an amazing guy soon. I’m sure of it.”

It’s kind of sweet. Enough for you to at least look at him and to your relief he’s looking back at you, a more gentle, less cheeky smile on his lips. You give him a small smile in return. Jimin is a really good friend, even if he is a massive meddler.

“What you need is some confidence.”

“Yeah, easier said than done,” you say. “It’s not like I can just magic confidence from thin air.”

“You need a good date,” Jimin explains. “You need someone to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Nothing wrong with me, sounds awfully complimentary.”

“You know what I mean,” he waves a dismissive hand. “A date just to prove you can do it, or someone to just say that you have nothing to worry about. Someone to just let you know that it’s the guys who are wrong for you, and not the other way.”

“I’ve been on plenty of dates now to prove I can do it and who the hell is going to go on a fake date with me?”

You take a sip of your drink, the wrong moment to do so, because at the question Jimin’s face lights up. You have to try and not choke on the liquid in your rush to get rid of it. His smiles brightens, his eyes have lit up telling you he knows exactly who. And that isn’t a good sign.

“No,” you cough the word out, voice husky from spluttering on your drink. “I’m not going on a date with you.”

His smile drops so quickly it’s almost laughable. He looks more disgusted than you by the suggestion.

“I was thinking of Yoongi,” he says flatly.

Your eyes dart behind the bar to see the man in question stood right there. You knew he was there, were talking to him only minutes ago, yet you were really hoping he’d decided to leave before this conversation happened. You heat as he stares flatly back at you and then shrugs. He shrugs.

“Uh,” you look back at Jimin as if to plead for help in a situation he put you in.

“She’s alright how she is,” it’s Yoongi that comes to the rescue. Well, sort of rescue, what is it with these men and giving you not very good compliments?

“Thanks,” you say, semi genuinely, semi questioning if you should be offended or not. Just alright?

“Still …” Jimin goads.

“Jimin,” you warn. “Yoongi doesn’t want to take me out on a date. You’re making him uncomfortable.” Shut up, you add silently through your glare.

“Alright,” the smile’s still on his face even as he rolls his eyes. “A different topic then?”

“Sure,” you return the gesture, eyes rolling though your smile is smaller.

You both turn to look at Yoongi, Jimin more of a stare, yours more of a glance, still embarrassed he was there for all of that and what he might be thinking right now. Yoongi is still staring blankly back at you. Not in disgust, not in happiness, not really any emotion, at least nothing you can read, and yet you still flush.

“What do you do here then Yoongi?”

You roll your eyes. It’s like Jimin’s your dad sussing out a guy you’ve brought home. He’s being so obvious about everything and you want to shove your head in a bucket. Or better yet, shove his in a bucket. Preferably full of water. And hold it there for a while.

“We’re in a bar. He’s just poured our drinks. Take a wild guess what he does, genius,” you say flatly.

There’s a smile curling on Yoongi’s lips. He looks down at the countertop, eyes avoiding both of you. You think you see a pink blush on his cheeks before he speaks.

“Actually, I own the place.”

You really need to stop drinking your drink at the wrong moments. Or maybe it’s that these men need to stop saying stuff to make you choke.

Yoongi’s eyes drift to you as you try and cough up the liquid that’s managed to try and go into your lungs. Jimin gives a soft, unhelpful pat on your back, his interest firmly on Yoongi.

“Owner?” Jimin repeats. “You never told me that Y/N.”

“Didn’t know,” you manage to wheeze out.

“Yep, well, this all mine.”

“Nice. Owning a pub, you really are living the dream. A proper catch,” he adds unnecessarily and again you feel the desire to cause bodily harm.

“Beer on tap,” Yoongi says flatly as if he’s said the statement a thousand times before. Jimin doesn’t seem to notice, just nods and looks around as if agreeing. “And what is it you do Jimin?”

Jimin’s eyes fall back to Yoongi and you’re vaguely aware of him opening his mouth and speaking but you’re not taking any notice. Yoongi is the boss, as in the owner. And you can’t quite compute this new information.

You don’t know why. He was happy enough to give you free drinks without much thought, and while that should be comforting given it’s his money, it feels the opposite because it’s his money. It shouldn’t make you feel any different about him, maybe make you more impressed by him, but only makes you feel more intimated, like you should definitely not be conversing with him. Surely he has more important thing to be doing then indulging you with talk about your dating life.

You’re pulled into the chat at some point. End up laughing loudly with Jimin while you gain a few chuckles and gummy smiles from Yoongi. He’s cleaning up the bar while you talk. You hardly notice until Jimin pipes up a little over thirty minutes later.

“I’m going to head off.”

You look around the pub as if only just realising the place is empty, even though you entered the pub late and last call was definitely a while ago and you weren’t oblivious to everyone slowly leaving. It’s late, you’ve had a nice time and you hadn’t really expected Jimin to hang around this long and yet you still seem surprised he’s leaving.

“Oh,” you say, turning your eyes back to him, catching Yoongi watching you out of the corner of your eye. “I’ll come with you.”

“You’re alright,” his smile is clear as he hops down from his stool and shrugs his jacket on. “I’m going to head to Tae’s anyway.”

“Right,” you reply. “Well, I should still probably head off too.”

You see Jimin’s eyes flick to Yoongi, don’t catch the look he gives as you follow his lead and hop down from your stool.

“Don’t.”

You were about to bend for your bag but stop with the word. A frown forms on your face as you look at Yoongi, an eyebrow raises in question. He’s looking at you, his cheeks are staining pink. You don’t think he’s going to clarify, or at least think you’ll have to ask him a question to get some meaning for the word, but he carries on.

“I mean; you don’t have to leave. Stay a bit and I’ll call you a taxi.”

“Oh, you don’t have –”

“Great,” Jimin claps his hands, cutting you off. “Nice to meet you Yoongi, I’m sure we’ll see each other again. And make sure you text me when you get home safe,” he turns to you when he’s gained a small nod from Yoongi, beaming smile on his face before he backs out the room.

“What was that?”

You turn in time to see Yoongi shrug, his cheeks still pink. He becomes very interested in cleaning a spot behind the bar you’re pretty sure he’s already done.

You stand awkwardly, watching as he wipes the surface. Neither of you speak for a few seconds. Seconds that drag like minutes making it feel awkward in a way you so hardly ever feel around him. Maybe you should have insisted on leaving. Or just followed Jimin regardless. Now you feel a little trapped, like you don’t know what to say to leave, even though you don’t really want to leave. Tension creeps up your neck as you wonder what to do.

But no. It was Yoongi that told you to stay. You need to stop your mind overthinking to the point of chickening out. Instead you slip back up on to the barstool you’d previously gotten off, try to push thoughts of running away out your mind.

“As long as you don’t expect me to help,” you say into the silence.

Yoongi’s eyes look up at you through his lashes. He seems to relax, his shoulders looking less tense, his body less stiff.

“I was hoping you’d pay off your debts.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “I thought they were gifts.”

“You thought wrong.”

You yelp and only just manage to raise your hand as the dishcloth that was previously in his hand is thrown at you.

“You wipe and I’ll put the chairs up.”

Your eyes track him as he rounds the bar and continue to track him as he heads for one of the tables. It’s only when he stands and looks at you expectantly that you move. Hop back down from your bar stool and head over to him.

“Where are Priya and Lewis anyway?” You ask as you start to wipe the table.

“Priya’s in the back. Lewis always finishes early.”

“So you’re roping me in?”

“You have time to kill before your taxi gets here.”

Neither of you have called a taxi, but you don’t mention that. Don’t question what Yoongi’s motives are, just decide not to fight it and take every minute alone you can get with the man. You step away from the table you’ve wiped and silently watch Yoongi lift the chairs onto the table. You could start cleaning the next table, but where would be the fun in that? No, it’s much more pleasing to watch Yoongi’s arms flex and make easy work of lifting the four chairs, flip them upside down and then place them on the table.

Yoongi looks at you when he’s done and for once you don’t shy away as if caught doing something you shouldn’t.

“So you own this place?”

“I did say the boss would be fine with me giving away the drinks.”

You can’t help but smile even as you try and supress it. “It was all a ploy for this forced labour.”

“You got me.”

“Don’t tell me that’s why Priya’s here. She’s not trapped in some debt?”

“Oh no,” he says with a small laugh, following you to the next table and watching as you wipe it down. “I’d never have given her free drinks. If anything, she’s forcing herself on me. Can’t seem to get rid of her.”

You laugh, happy to be back into some form of easy conversation and not the awkwardness from earlier.

“You love her really.”

“She’s more sociable than me. Better with customers,” he replies.

You smile at the floor, try to hide the amusement, but also bite back the comment that what he’s said is not quite true, he got you to keep coming back after all.

“What made you decide to buy a pub then? If you hate customers so much?”

“Never said I hate them,” he lifts an eyebrow at you.

“Didn’t need to, I’ve seen you around enough of them to know,” you have to bite your lip to stop yourself beaming at him. He’s so easy to tease, and always takes it the way you intend, as a joke.

The room falls silent, the only noise the slight scrape of the chair Yoongi’s lifting. You watch and wait for him to reply, don’t consider that he’s using the task as a way to buy time, to think over the response and what to reply. When he lifts the last chair he turns to you, his smile no longer on his face, but his features still soft. You don’t move to the next table, both stay standing where you are staring at each other.

“My dad passed away a few years ago,” he begins and your heart drops as quickly as the smile on your face. “He left me a lot of money and I thought long and hard what to do with it. Because I wanted to do something, didn’t just want it sitting around but I also didn’t want to waste it. Buying a pub always felt right, they were always places we went together and where we bonded the most.”

“Oh Yoongi,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotions. “I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have asked if I’d realised. I didn’t mean to –”

“I know,” he cuts you off, a small smile on his lips as if to show you that the question didn’t upset him. “And it’s fine. These things happen.”

It felt like an understatement. And you don’t know the circumstances, don’t know enough about Yoongi let alone his relationship with his dad, but still, anyone close to you passing away is not something you’d purposefully drag up.

You glance around the pub as if to better take it in, swallow down the emotions in your throat before looking back at Yoongi. His eyes are still firmly on you, have never left.

“Well, I’m sure he’d be really proud. This place is amazing.”

A more genuine, larger smile graces his face. You’re just happy that you haven’t offended him, that you’re still able to gain that reaction from him.

“Come on, let’s finish these tables,” he says as he pushes himself to walk past you.

There’re only a few tables left and the conversation you share as you clean them is a lot lighter. The light teasing and laughter seeps back in and too soon you find you’ve finished cleaning the place and now you should really get going. You’ve definitely outstayed your welcome.

You follow Yoongi back to the bar, don’t follow him behind the counter but watch him round it with your eyes as you lean on the counter. He comes to stand in front of you, takes the cloth off you. It’s the position you’re always in with him. You one side, him the other. Still, you don’t leave. And still, Yoongi makes no comments about wanting to lock up.

His concentration is on the cloth in front of him as he places it in the sink. His head lowered so you can’t see what he’s thinking.

“Maybe we should.”

“Should what?” After the long silence, you can’t even remember what you were last talking about to know what he’s referring to.

“You know.” You really don’t. He looks up at you and you can see the nerves and uncertainty in his eyes, it only makes you more confused. “You really don’t need any help, but if you wanted, if it would help at all, maybe we should go out.”

You can only stare at him. Your face is emotionless, eyes probably blank and it must panic Yoongi because he avoids the look, goes back to staring at the cloth. You don’t notice, your heart pounding, ears ringing, throat dry. Is he asking you on a date?

“Only if you want. Like a practice run or something,” he carries on, his hands starting to move things behind the bar as if attempting to continue to clean.

“Practice?”

“Yeah, like Jimin suggested,” he says, not noticing the way your face drops. “I guess I might not be your first choice and that I don’t really date that much so might not have the best advice. Or at least no more than I’ve already given. But, I don’t know, if you want?”

His words drift off until there’s silence. You staring at him gobsmacked and slightly heartbroken. Him blushing and avoiding your gaze, trying and failing to act unbothered by the situation.

You can’t lie, even though you’ve been denying and pushing away Jimin’s taunts, you really wanted Yoongi to ask you out. And yet now he is, just not how you’d hoped. Practice. Because he’d never ask you out properly, wouldn’t actually want to date you, is just such a nice guy that he’s willing to help you out, to make you feel better about yourself. Maybe he’s picked up on your feelings towards him, you have been coming here frequently since you discovered it and maybe he’s pinned that reason being him. Maybe he thinks if he goes on a date, even if it’s practice, he’ll help you move on from him, help you find someone else that’s not him. Or maybe he’s just being nice, heard Jimin’s ridiculous suggestion and is taking pity on you. Still, he’s asking you on a date.

He looks up at you, you’ve been quiet for too long and he’s looking to check you’re ok. You snap back into reality.

“Yeah, sure –”

“You don’t have –”

You speak over each other, both flush and fall silent. He nods his head, tells you to go first.

“Uh, yeah, I’d go on a date with you.”

His flush seems to deepen, his lips curling upwards slightly and his eyes dart all around the room except from at you. He looks so flustered and yet his voice is still level when he speaks.

“Ok. Does a Tuesday work? I’ve got to work most weekends.”

“Yeah,” you smile at him, heart still beating erratically. “As long as you don’t bring me here for the date.”

He looks back at you at that comment, his eyes sparkling with amusement, or possibly something more.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m intending to show you what a real date should be like.”

You need water and not because you’ve had a few drinks. You try to swallow, but your throat feels so thick you can’t.

“Ok,” your voice is husky and you swear Yoongi’s smile twitches at the noise. “It’s a date.”

#yoongi fan fiction #yoongi fic #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #suga fic #suga fanfic #suga fluff #yoongi series #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

17. talk about your writing and editing process <3

Man apparently I’m allergic to checking my inbox but HEY better late than never my love!

So my process, if you can even call it that, is chaotic as FUCK!!! I stare off into space writing it mentally first, type all my bullshit in my notes app like a heathen, don’t proofread, drop unsolicited personal lore in the notes, all that. Gonna use TWITR as an example again btw

I’ve said it before, but The Webs In The Rafters is based on a WHACK ASS DREAM I HAD. specifically chapter 17 and the climax of the story. Like I was the Kenny character, Sansa the dog was telepathically speaking in my mind, there were piles of cuddling cats everywhere, the sound of helicopter blades and a trail of spiders in the hay. I woke up like bro what the hell this is a story right here and I went from there. And in fleshing out the plot, pinning the story beats, the time I was writing it was PERFECT TIMING. Because I had a six hour drive to make for a friend’s wedding. And what did my insane ass do? I FUCKING RAWDAWGED that drive. No music, no audiobook, just silent highways and plotting TWITR. By the time I got home I had a very clear idea of where I was going with the story that at that point was only a few set up chapters and a title.

Speaking of titles, a lot of the time I have titles before I have plot, which is kinda weird bc I know a lot of people struggle with titles, but that’s one of the first things that comes to me. Especially with my one shots, like my kysterion fic All The Punches That I’ve Thrown. That lyric popped into my head and a fic idea with it. Song lyrics inspire a LOT of ideas for me.

So does art. Like with In The Truly Gruesome, I saw a drawing emilyartstudios did of Stan and Shelley working a booth for Tegrity at a fair and I was like YO WHAT IF I FUCKED THIS UP AND STUCK ZOMBIE ALIENS IN THERE lmfao. And ofc, the OrangeJuiceVerse wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t seen foxydodo’s art of basketball player Kyle and mascot Stan.

While oneshots come together pretty fast for me usually, being written out in my head to be typed out in the course of a day (back in the days of janitor Riley bored as shit at work and having the time and energy for that lol), multichapters are require more thought structurally. So what I like to do with a multichap:

Think of it in three acts. In script writing, there’s something called the “page 12 event”, the event that gets the plot rolling near the beginning of the film. And I like to stick an event like that at the end of chapter 1 of my stuff a lot of the time, like ITTG and uhhhh yeeting Stan into a mineshaft after we find out the boys are being chased by monsters (jesus what is wrong with me). What I’m getting at: I like to know where my beginning middle and end are, how the characters are feeling at each step, how their relationships change, all that. And a lot of the time I think of the end before I do the middle or beginning tbh. Like I said, chaos. I think of a random scenario (as we know usually someone is hurt and getting taken care of bc I’m fucking evil and that’s where my brain goes constantly), hence the WhumpShots.

And I do primarily operate in WhumpShots. I picture a scene with a character getting their injuries tended, sick and dizzy but having a friend or loved one at their side, etc, and BAM that scene becomes a oneshot. Even the REALLY short ones, like the sot bunny I did last summer called So Only Say My Name, was about 700 words and one sequence of events. That kind of to the point structure comes easy to me, which is why I loved doing Style Week so much; new oneshot prompt every day. And while I don’t usually proofread after I finish a work, I edit as I go, sometimes post random lines on here or send a screenshot to the R.A.N.T. homies (I’ve definitely done this more as of late, a habit from when I attempted writing smut for the first time and would send neen a screenshot all “IS THIS CRINGE?!?” lmfao I love the Idea Trampoline tho). And I can’t spell so autocorrect is fr my saving grace unless it betrays me. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 words in 3 separate fics that I need to fix but am simply not going to bc that requires effort and oh fuckin well.

And I say that, but I may be lax about the more fiddly stuff but I care SO much about the big picture. Like “does this convey the feelings I want it to? Is this going to be a bright spot in someone’s day? Is the vibe I want there?” That’s my priority. If I can leave an impact on a reader, entertain them, make them smile, that’s what matters to me.

Jesus sorry this was a convoluted answer lmao it’s 3 in the morning and I woke up all “hey I should actually check my inbox” and here we are

Thank u for asking abt my chaos melda tâe

#asks #why is my ‘process’ just ‘hey what if I stick Stan in an avalanche and he has to keep Kyle calm enough to take care of him’ #insanity #south park #my shit #also I’m awful at answering asks sorry yall

[grippingbeskar]

salt, ice and fire | frank castle

chapter nineteen - proper representation

frank castle x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, description of injury, canon typical violence

a/n: OKAY. i am so sorry with how long this has taken. finals are literally eating my ass and not in a good way. but it feels so good to write SOMETHING FINALLY. i forgot how much i <3 this series. thx for sticking with me pals xx. enjoy!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Seven hours is a long time. Mostly, Frank thinks of you.

He can’t stop thinking about you— it’s been months since he’s had a thought that you haven’t been attached to in some way. Even when he thinks of the kid strapped in the back seat, it’s because he knows you. But, in seven hours of open road and the persistent pain in his gut at the way you left, anyone’s brain would drift.

He has no idea why he did it. Why he took your brother, why he bothered. Why he thought he’d be any better than the random group home he’d get stuck into, or the foster family that would forget about him within the week and lock him in his room, trading one shit hole for another. He can’t help but think of Billy— the Billy he knew, not the one he pulled a trigger on. That Billy he hadn’t known, hadn’t cared about.

But the old Billy, his friend. The one who dragged him out of the mud more times than he could count, the one his wife used to set a place at the table for, just incase he needed some place to eat. That Billy, who’s group home cared so little they didn’t notice they’d hired a pedophile to foster little boys.

He couldn’t let them take the risk. Your brother had been through enough— the dark rings around his eyes, a faint green bruise on his cheek, Frank hated that he saw some similarity in his own face, knowing the force they’d have to of hit him with. Maybe that’s why he offered to take Sam back with him, look after him for God knows how long, because you needed him safe, and then you’d come home to him.

With all that, knowing he’d probably done the right thing, he couldn’t get rid of the sick feeling twisting up his throat every time he glanced into the rear view mirror. Sam was staring out the window, blinking hard in an attempt to keep his eyes open. He looked like you, but only because Frank had spent so much time staring at your face. You must look like your mother, because this kid had different eyes, a different face, similar only in subtle ways someone who really knew you would see.

Frank liked kids. He never had issues with David’s kids— probably got too involved with them, if he was honest. Then there was Amy, but she wasn’t much of a kid. More of a teenager, but he never really figured out he actual age with all the damn fake ID’s she had. Either way, she’d been like a kid to him. He had a soft spot for them, it was always where he had give. So why does this make him sweat? Is it because the rest of those kids all had families of their own? Had ways of getting on without him, not actually his responsibility? None of them looked to him for shelter, for food, for the normal shit only parents gave their kids. No one looked at him like that anymore, until Sam had wandered up to him and asked if he could pull over at a Burger King on the way out.

It was the simplest thing, but he’d just come up and asked him and the whole thing felt like a punch in the face. He couldn’t be that anymore. He didn’t have it in him. He couldn’t take care of something. He couldn’t help. Maybe he should of just let them take the chance and—

“Burger King.” Sam mumbles into his palm, other hand pointing to the side of the road where the faint red and yellow lights lit up the burger place. Frank says nothing, hasn’t for about 4 hours now, just indicates off the road and pulls into the first parking spot.

It’s getting dark now, but the twenty four hour sign is faintly flashing over head. Sam’s already halfway out the car when Frank finishes running over all the risks of pulling the car over here and now, but the kids been through enough, and Frank doesn’t have the heart to say no. When he gets inside, Sam is standing at the door. Waiting for him.

“Go on.” Frank points at the counter, and Sam hesitates. He knows he must be starving, but he still just stands at the door, looking between the counter and Frank.

“I don’t know what to do.” He says in the smallest voice, and the way he looks at him, to him— “I’ve never been inside one before.”

“T’s alright. Go sit down, I’ll get you something. What do you like?” Frank bends a little so the kid could hear him. He wasn’t short, but Frank didn’t want to talk loud and embarrass him. He doesn’t really know why he cares.

“Lots of pickles. And mustard.” He smiles, and then goes and sits down in one of the booths. The fact Frank got through the interaction without fucking it up spurs him on a little, and he orders a burger with as many pickles as they can stack on it.

When he brings it over to him, Sam is staring out at the sky, head bouncing back and forth like he’s watching a tennis match, following the cars passing by. Then he must smell the food, because he all but jumps the table, grabbing the burger Frank slid over and taking the biggest bite out of it he can fit in his mouth.

“Slow down. You’ll choke.” Frank says, and something in his stomach twists at the words. So familiar— he remembers it was you he said them to at that diner he always went to back in the day.

“Sorry.” Sam muffled through the chips he’s shoving down his throat now, and Frank can’t help but laugh a little at the sight. As much as it pulls at him that this kid is probably eating so fast cause he’s not used to being fed regularly, he’s just glad he’s out. It comes at a cost, though, and thinking about you, Frank isn’t sure there’s any price he’d be willing to pay not to have you here.

They eat in silence, mainly because Sam doesn’t take a breath in between gulps of a giant soda and heaps of burger and fries, but really it’s because Frank can’t look at him. Doesn’t know what to say to him. It doesn’t seem to bother Sam though, who, like you, even with all the shit he must have seen and been through, is as resilient as ever.

“So, what’s the plan?” He asks after a giant mouthful of soda.

“What?” Frank croaks, voice strained from silence.

“The plan? To get Bobby?” Frank scoffs at this, but then realises the kid is serious.

“The plan is to keep you out of trouble.”

“That’s bullshit.” Sam crosses his legs and faces Frank fully. “You have to help me go back. And to get her.”

“I’m handlin’ it, alright? Eat your burger.” Sam’s eyebrows furrow, and he looks younger when he does it; tilting his head and scowling.

“I know you want to. I saw you…” Frank sighs, thinking about going back up and getting the kid another burger so he shuts up. “I saw you kiss her.”

“Jesus Christ.” Frank shakes his head and looks out the window again.

“You did.” He says it with his face screwed up, a little bit of childish disgust, but mostly determination. “You’re going back for her. I want to help.”

“You let me worry about that.” Sam copies him, shaking his head and looking out the window. If it wasn’t such bad lighting in here, Frank might have sworn he saw a tear in the kids eye, but it was swiped away too fast. The guilt eats at him a little. “Look, the reason she did all this shi— stuff, in the first place, is to get you out and make sure you were safe. The last thing I’m doing is dragging you back there. I’ll handle it.”

“I just want to help her like she helped me.” His voice was small again, and Frank swallows the feeling of guilt that bubbles up his throat. “She… she did a lot of bad things, didn’t she? To get me out?”

“Nothin’ they didn’t force her to.” Frank looks at the table, eyes finding anywhere else to concentrate on.

“Is she in trouble?” Clearing his throat, Frank thinks about how they shoved you in that car in handcuffs. He trusted Madani, but also knew her loyalty didn’t lie with him. “Cause of the things she did?”

“She’ll be fine.” He doesn’t say anything else. He just has to trust that what he’s done is enough. They both walk back out to the car in silence, and this time, Sam gets in the front seat. Shuffling around with whatever trash was on the floor, he bends down and picks something up, and Frank doesn’t see it right away until he puts them on.

Even though it’s pitch dark outside, Sam slides those stupid sunglasses you made him buy months ago onto his face, and drifts off to sleep in the same spot you had a million times over. Frank nearly splits the skin on his knuckles holding onto the steering wheel, pulling off the highway and heading toward you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“I thought there’d be more questioning, less pacing.” You say to Agent Madani, and she looks at the door for the hundredth time, like she’s waiting for something. “Is something wrong here?”

“Beside the fact I have a known fugitive stowed away in one of the most secure facilities in the world? Nothing at all.” She was stressed. Pacing around the table, and looking at the door like she’s expecting someone to walk through it.

“You could just let me go.” She sighs. The last thing she should want right now is company, so what was she waiting for? She needed you to save her ass, be the missing link to why she had all this information. Why she showed up at Silo, how she knew about today, how she found the house you were at. All of it needed to be connected, and you were the missing link, and yet ever since she marched you through the back door of this building, she hadn’t asked you a single question.

“Never on time.” She sighs under her breath.

“What?” Madani stops pacing.

“We have to wait.” She says, leaning back.

“Wait for what?”

“Just…” She marches toward the door. “Stay here. I need to make another phone call. If anyone knocks—“

“Kill them?” You hear her sigh again before the door clicks shut. Looking around the room, the long table stretches before you. No other chairs on your side, but opposite you, there’s three.

A little part of you sparks to life, the part infused with Franks backward lessons of looking at every room you walked into like it would be the last one you saw. You could feel your face pulling with concentration, trying to take as much in as you could in the seemingly plain room. Frank never so much as flinched, didn’t even blink or think twice and still managed to be ten steps ahead of everyone in the room. But Frank wasn’t here, and you knew for a fact those chairs weren’t going to be for him.

Three chairs. Why would Madani set this room up with three chairs? You were on a wanted list, she couldn’t exactly plan a public meeting with you and anyone else, let alone sit across from you while the entire CIA sat outside waiting on orders to kill you. She’s waiting for someone. Two someone’s. Security?

The click of heels outside the door snap you to focus. Two sets of heels— not security, unless the CIA is hiring. There’s another sound, one that you can’t exactly place. You close your eyes, trying to tap into whatever enhancement is running through your veins, but then the door swings open and locks again faster than you can put together, like the people who were now inside were shoved in.

Eyes wide open, it takes a second for your body to come out of defence mode. Madani is in front of you, and there’s two more people now, the first you know well, and the other familiar.

“Karen?” Your eyes squint, like you’re not sure what you are seeing is real. It’s been a long fucking day… why the hell would she be here of all places? “And… you. I met you.”

“Under worse circumstances.�� The man says, his cane tapping around the room while Karen walks behind him, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Matthew Murdock.”

“Nice to meet you?” Your voice is a little higher pitched than normal, only because you were fucking confused. Frank had said something about this guy before… “I think I’m out of the loop here. I had the impression you were going to… arrest me.”

“I never wanted that.” Madani says.

“Well the handcuffs your officers put me in seemed to say otherwise.” She sits down on the left, Matthew in the middle and Karen on the right. “What is this supposed to be.”

“You have a lot of powerful friends.” He says, and you scoff. “Agent Madani called me a few weeks back. She thinks I can help you and your brother. If you’re willing to work with me.”

“And work with you would involve…” Your chest tightens, and he reacts as if he can see how you’ve frozen up, shaking his head.

“Not like that. I’m a lawyer. I want to clear your name.” There’s a moment of silence, and then you stifle out a laugh.

“A lawyer?” You look to Madani. “Could you not have told me that’s what we were doing here?”

“There’s about 400 people in this building that want you dead. The rest of them want to throw you and your brother in a hole for the rest of your life. If I had even suggested bringing you in for a fair trial, it would of set off yet another group of angry men vying to tear you apart. And anyone around you.” Sitting back in your chair, you let out a long breath. “Frank suggested it.”

“Really?” She nods in a way that suggests he hadn’t just asked, he’d forced her hand.

“You have a right to be represented. Even if they wanted to trial you for the death penalty—“ You swallow the tiny amount of fear that shoots up your throat “—which they won’t, they need to do it properly. Your brother hasn’t done anything wrong. They can’t touch him without going against basically every human rights law they protect. Even going after you, with the story you have…”

“Yeah. I get it.” You look up and blink a few times, and Matthew nods, leaning into Karen as a silent suggestion to take over.

“Matt can help you. I’ve seen him do it. He helped Frank… me, too.”

“You?”

“Once.” Your eyebrows raise, and you nod. Maybe impressed isn’t the right word for it, but you think you’ve miscalculated the kind of person she is, and it only makes you like her more. “You aren’t a bad person. If you can get in front of a jury, tell them about your brother… about your family.”

“You helped the CIA’s investigation, and we can use that to reduce whatever sentence they want to stick you with.” Matt continues, putting a bag on the desk.

“Unofficially.” Madani reminds him, and he smiles.

“Not anymore.”

“You can make sure they don’t touch my brother?” You lean over the table a little, and both Matt and Karen turn back to you.

“I know I can.” That is enough for you, so you’re surprised when he keeps talking. “He’ll be safe, but I think I can make it easier for you, too. You can have a life after all this. The one you should of had from the beginning.”

There was a time where you thought you knew exactly what your life would be. You thought you’d die doing something you hated, trying to kill someone for Bobby or whoever came after him. There wasn’t a life you pictured, and even when you’d dared to hope, the only one you could think of was spending the rest of it scared as shit someone would come after you or Sam. A life looking over your shoulder.

There was so many things that were different now, the past six months had changed everything. You’d seen your brother now, spoken to him. Now, you were being offered more— a life, maybe something more than a few short paranoid years. Your throat felt tight and you tried to look anywhere you couldn’t see your own reflection.

When he’d said you could have a life, you looked away from yourself instantly, because the first thing you’d thought of— as selfish as it was, was the life you could have with Frank. One full of nights like the few you had shared. Even paranoid and running, a life of that would be worth all this if it was with him.

Karen called your name, and slid over a piece of paper you made no sense of.

“I don’t… have any money.” Embarrassing as it is, you know people like this cost big, and you don’t think you’ve ever had more than $20 to your name.

“If I was in this job for the money, I’d be in the wrong business.” He smiles, handing you a pen. “Don’t worry about it. This is just a paper that says you’re willing to be represented by me.” You sign the paper, writing the letters of your name slowly and in print.

“Okay. Now what?” Sliding the paper back over to him, he turns to Madani.

“You were expecting questions?” She says, and pulls out a laptop along with about twelve case files that all have the word UNSOLVED printed in red ink. “You can start here.”

She hands you one file, and when you open it, the date reads about seven years from today. If you thought today was a long day, it was about to get a whole lot longer. She starts asking questions about where you were, what you did that day, and you answer as best you can, but all you can really think about is is that little ember of hope resting deep in your stomach, and how it slowly catches fire with each passing minute.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Don’t answer that.” Matt says from beside you now, and Madani sighs. “What?”

“Again? Seriously?” She says, and he keeps his head up, listening as his hands run along the braille of the files Karen has converted. They have been going at this for hours while Madani asked you every question under the sun. “I’m asking if she killed him. It’s a yes or no answer.”

“She was coerced, and by that timeline she would have been 16 years old. You’re going to charge a 16 year old who was being held captive and threatened with her only family members life with murder?” He never stops reading through the file, and once he hears Madani take yours front in front of you, he slides it away and grabs the next one.

“Let’s do something more recent then, shall we?” She slides another file to you, and you recognise it instantly. So does Karen. “Gus Daley. Murdered behind 3rd Street just three months ago. About the time you were working with the Colonel.”

“For him. Working for him. And lets not mix our words. The man’s name was Connor Flannery, and he was not a Colonel.” You can’t help but smile a little bit at how fast he was with this. You liked Madani, but you knew her loyalty couldn’t lie with you, so it was nice to have someone on your side out here.

“Fine. This was when Connor Flannery was forcing you to work for him?” When you hear no objections from Matt, you nod. 

“Yes.” The little camera she had set up blinks in recognition, and the only other sound is Karen shoving papers along the table. 

“What happened?” The last time you saw this man was in a service station, his lifeless corpse on the front page of a newspaper Frank was looking at. You remember you had expected him to look at you with disgust, and how he hadn’t even flinched.

“He wanted him dead, and gave me a date and a time. It was very structured with him. He planned the whole thing. Where to go, when, how he wanted it done.” Madani nods, listening intently. 

“How many jobs did he send you on?”

“Eight or nine, I think.”

“You think?”

“She clearly wasn’t in a right state of mind. She didn’t even know the man’s name before I told her. Flannery and Bobby Gnucci did everything except get their hands dirty.” Matt says.

“And when you found out that they were working together? What did you do then?” An image of The Colonels body in the woods is shoved in front of you— Karen’s article that bought you the precious seconds of time to get to your brother.

“I bolted as soon as I got the chance.” Okay, not entirely true. It took some convincing on Franks part to get you to leave, and when you found out you killed him. But you can’t imagine that’s going to look great for you right now, so you leave it at that.

“The article says what happened to him. I wrote it myself.” Karen says, and Madani turns her attention off you for the first time in hours.

“Thanks to a photo from an anonymous source, correct? I know it wasn’t anyone in this room that sent that photo, and I’m inclined to think Frank Castle had something to do with it.” At the mention of him, your chest tightens again. “You two were close. I can’t imagine you’d question him too much if he came to you and told you what happened. Even if you didn’t think it was true. Maybe even write an article— just because he asked. You’d do just about anything for him, wouldn’t you?”

It’s like you are interrupting something. Everyone here knows each other better than you do— you know a little about what they’ve all been through together, but if Agent Madani knows enough about Karen and Frank…

“I write the truth. Always.” Karen’s also a better liar than you pegged her for.

“How is any of this relevant, Agent?” Matt chimes in, and you don’t have to look back to hear the smirk in his voice. “You’ve got what you wanted now, right? She’s told you everything she knows— more than enough to convince a jury she was working with you well before she got her brother back. If this has to go to trial—“

“If?”

“I’m a reasonable man. We can make a deal, or we can drag this through court. I don’t know how well your new colleges will react to you working behind their back, though. I don’t want to risk you being invited to Friday night drinks, right?” Matt stands.

“What are you suggesting?” Madani says, and Matt smiles.

“I’ll let you know after I’ve discussed with my client. For now, I think there’s a kid who’d like to see his sister.” Karen opens the door, and when Matt walks through it you realise you’re still frozen in your seat.

“Go.” Agent Madani says, blowing out a frustrated breath. You stand, but instead of walking out the door you turn to face her.

“I want to say thank you.” Your voice is quiet— tired as hell. There’s still blood on your fingernails when you stick out your hand to shake hers. “For everything you did for my brother. And me. You didn’t have to do all of this, and I know how much you’re risking. I owe you.”

“No, you don’t.” She takes your hand, shaking it once. “I spent a long time doing the wrong thing for the wrong people. I like being the good guy for once.” For some reason that makes you smile. You— the good thing?

“Still. I owe you.” She reaches into her bag after you finish and hands you something.

“Now we’re even.” Before you can look at what she gave you, she’s walking out the door, brushing past Matt. “Don’t call me unless you have a good deal.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” She scoffs and disappears into the now dark hallway, and it must be the middle of the night now because all the lights are off and the window of the room you’re in is pitch black. “You ready?”

Nodding, you follow them out, finally looking down at what Madani gave you.

A small black square— exactly like the burner phone Frank has, and when you turn it on, there’s only one number on it. You don’t even blink before you hit call.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[lovebillyhargrove]

Happy endings only. Life's a quest, innit

When Steve arrives at the hospital at around 7.30 pm on August 27th there's unusual commotion at the reception. He sees a couple of doctors who are not normally here so late.

"Good evening, Mrs. Marshall. How are you do.."

The nurse glances at him nervously. One glance, and Steve's worried sick. Did something bad happen while he was away ..

"Is everything alright?"

"He woke up, Steve! He woke up!!"

"What..?? Wait, that's.."

Steve's heartbeat deafens him. Is it real, or is he dreaming? He literally pinches himself, hard, has to make sure he's not sleeping and imagining it all.

"That's .. Really?!"

"Yes!"

Steve exhales, there's suddenly too much air in his lungs. He's feeling dizzy. Oh my god, he's going to faint, he's fainting..

Steve's grabbing the counter.

"When?"

"About an hour ago."

"Can I go see him?"

"Well, doctors are with him now, and I .. I really don't think it's a good idea right now. He seems.. disoriented. And angry."

"Angry? At who?"

"At everyone? He keeps asking why nobody told him and something else about a huge alien .. or a monster that is going to infect all of us .. he's probably still not in his right mind. We really hope his brain .. Doctors must run some tests to .. "

Mrs. Marshall looks at Steve and stops mid-sentence

"Everything is going to be alright. We called Dr. Owens, the one who brought him here on July 4th? Luckily, he was in Indianapolis. He is expected to arrive shortly."

"Yes, yes of course. So .. I can't go in? I just want to see him, even if for a second."

"Oh I don't really know, Steve.. Well, definitely not right now because the doctors are examining him at the moment. Everyone is so excited. Poor boy .. But you can stick around for a bit?"

"Sure. Thank you. I'll just wait here."

Steve is sliding down on a chair near the reception. He wants to see Billy so bad, he's been hoping for this moment for so so long, and now.. he's definitely happy but he's feeling physically unwell.

Steve sees a doctor opening the door of Billy's room and calling Mrs. Marshall in. The doctor is looking a bit .. disheveled. How many people are in there? What's going on? When can Steve finally see him?

Ten minutes later people are starting to leave Billy's room. Three doctors and two nurses.

Steve is getting up and looking around. His legs are bringing him closer to the room on autopilot. He'll just get a peek, no harm done. Just to make sure Billy's really woken up.

Steve opens the door slowly and sticks his head inside. Billy's is propped up in bed with pillows around him, wild hair and wild tired eyes.

Holy shit, this is real. He's awake.

It's another miracle. Billy is so thin and pale and he looks like a sick little child .. But he's awake. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Steve's not sure what or who he's thanking right now, but he really wants to let it out in the universe.

When Steve moves a bit further and opens his mouth to say something, Billy turns his head slightly and the tormented and very unchildlike look is landing on Steve's face.

"Oh hey, Harrington. What are you doing here?" In a raspy voice,

And not waiting for an answer.

"Get the fuck out."

"But Billy I just want to .."

"I don't want to see anybody. Get the fuck out. NURSE!!!!!!"

Steve shuts the door quickly and gets back to his chair. That did not go how he'd pictured it would. Oh fuck. His hands are trembling.

Billy's voice sounded so husky, so rough, just on the verge of frantic

Yet it was like music to Steve's ears. "Harrington." He fucking missed it. No-one calls Steve "Harrington" like that. Only Billy.

Mrs. Marshall rushes into Billy's room. She only stays there for a couple of minutes. When she's out, Steve's already at her side

"Why didn't he want to see me?"

"Oh, Steeve .. give him time. Can you imagine being in a coma? .. You can't. I can't. Give him time, everything will get better." There's almost motherly concern in Mrs. Marshall's voice. "The boy has been through so much."

Steve wants to say "You can't even begin to imagine through what" but bites his tongue. He hates it, that he can't really talk about what happened with someone, except Robin, Nancy and the kids. He'd really appreciate adult perspective on all of this. He'd really like to just .. talk to someone older than him. Hopper is missing, believed to be dead, Mrs. Byers is gone. Steve likes Dr. Owens, but it's not like he can stop by for a chat any time.

Steve sits down on the chair again. He's clearly not welcome here, but he doesn't want to go home.

What he really wants to do right now is to get on the rooftop and shout till his voice gets hoarse.

In Steve's mind it was, of course, more like .. he would hug Billy or .. or at least talk to him. He certainly didn't expect to be told to get the fuck out. Ouch.

Steve decides to stay here some more, because he literally can't imagine going home now. To do what? .. eat dinner? watch fucking TV?

Owens does arrive soon. He goes straight to Billy's room, nodding at Steve as he's passing him by.

Steve notices that twenty minutes later all doctors leave Billy's room and Owens stays there alone with Billy. When he finally goes out and addresses everyone who's waiting for him, he says:

"Well, he is a handful. If there's anything you need, contact me right away. We'll send in our person tomorrow to start psychological therapy. Thank you all for your service, you've been doing exceptional work here. We'll keep in touch."

He shakes hands with every doctor and every nurse.

"Steve! May I have a word with you?"

Owens remembers Steve. They had so much to talk about after the 4th of July.

***

Next week Billy proved to be very difficult. He only talked to the doctors and the nurses of the hospital. The ones who had been taking care of him for the last two months.

He threw a crutch at the psychologist who was sent by the government to have sessions with Billy. Next time the man returned, it was an open cup of jell-o.

He refused to see Max. When his father and step-mother came by, he pretended to be asleep, so their visit only lasted two minutes or so. They came back a couple of days later but Billy just happened to be asleep again. The nurse didn't let Neil wake him up. "Sleep is very important at this stage, Mr. Hargrove. Billy's gaining his strength back."

Steve could swear on his life, Billy and the nurses were in some kind of conspiracy. Hospital staff seemed to have a strange kind of rapport with Hargrove.

Dr. Owens came by again and managed to stay for 30 minutes in the room with Billy and, apparently, have a decent conversation. However, when it came down to signing non-disclosure, even Owens couldn't find the right approach to Billy and left with nothing but Billy's promise "to keep his mouth shut."

Steve has heard from the nurses that Billy's body is very weak. Repaired and not majorly broken anymore, but the muscles have gone weak. Atrophy. There's a long way ahead of him. But he is a determined one. A fighter. He gets off the bed, has already started walking around the room. Refuses to be helped in the bathroom.

Steve? Oh, he still keeps coming by every day. Today is day 7 of his visits when he actually doesn't get to see the patient. Comes to the hospital to hang around the reception. He wonders if the nurses are fed up with him already.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Miller, can you maybe ask him if he will see me today?"

It's easier to get an appointment with the Queen of England, for fuck's sake.

Steve doesn't mind.

He firmly believes in miracles. The universe has not let him down so far.

Mrs. Miller returns back smiling.

"It's a yes! He rolled his eyes and said "Whatever". I guess he's in a better mood today," - she says encouragingly.

Well, this is it. Steve's running a hand through his hair. He hopes he looks good.

He opens the door and looks inside the room

"Billy?"

A pause.

"The book's overdue at the library."

"W .. what?"

"Were you reading Shakespeare to me, Harrington?"

"Uhm.. yeah? Yeah, I was."

"Are you out of your mind? They all died in there. Way to motivate a guy to wake up from a coma."

"Well, it's the book that you.. do you remember? Was it you??"

"I remember, Harrington. My brain is fine. And I said they lacked communication! Speaking of, why the fuck no-one told me Hawkins is fucked up to unbelievable levels, huh?"

Here it comes. Steve's made it into the room and is standing near Billy's bed, contemplating if he should sit down or remain standing.

Here it comes.

"Billy, we .. we weren't really.. friends. Besides, we thought it was all finished when El closed the portal a year ago."

"Oh so only friends are allowed to know the truth? Only the chosen ones?? What about the rest of us, peasant folk? Not privy to the Knights of the Round Table shenanigans?"

"What.. ? What round table? Billy, listen. I know it's fucked up.. there's government involved and it's not so easy. Like.. they make everyone sign these non-disclosure papers .. you can't walk around talking about it with anyone you want."

"And yet, a bunch of snoopy kids were in on it."

"Exactly. Snoopy. They were just .. in it together basically from the beginning."

"Even Max?"

"Well, she .." - Steve's scratching his eyebrow. "Not .. not from the very beginning."

"Thought so."

"But I, I did sign that confidentiality pledge. They'll make you sign one too."

"Fuck them. They tried. I won't sign shit."

"But they will .."

"What, Harrington? They will what? What leverage do they have on me?"

"I don't know .. your family? Your life?"

Billy laughs bitterly

"My family? There are certain things about my family, that make me really doubt it can be used as leverage."

Steve's registering the words. Definitely needs to come back to that later.

"My life? I just nearly lost it. They can have it."

"Don't! Hey don't say that."

It's now or never.

Steve takes a deep breath and carefully touches Billy's fingers with his own.

"Your life is precious."

"That's just bullshit."

Billy's tensing up. His eyes slowly travel down to the place where Steve's touching Billy's fingers

There are so many things unsaid, the air is galvanized. It doesn't make it less real though.

It makes it surreal.

Billy's looking

But doesn't say anything

Steve takes Billy's hand in his own.

"Don't touch me, Harrington."

Hargrove is a handful. Steve wants it, all of it.

"Why not?"

"Because."

Steve is still holding Billy's hand in his own.

"Okay, look. I'm sorry, Billy. I am. I'm sorry I didn't warn you about any of that. But I didn't even know you were involved in this whole mess. Until I saw you there. It's a .. fucking long story and if you'll let me.. I'll explain everything."

Billy takes his hand away. Steve doesn't stop talking.

"And please, don't be so hard on Max. Just let her see you. Talk to her. They are kids and they were all alone with what they were dealing with. Usually there are .. adults .. to uh .. help in such situations. Or me. But I was held captive in a Starcourt underground base, and Hopper and Mrs. Byers, they were .. somewhere figuring some related stuff out, so the kids.. They didn't really have any guidance."

"Yeah tell that to Heather. To her parents. To the fucking families, Steve, who got killed."

"Billy .. It's not your fault. It's not my fault either, or Max's or any of the kids' who were involved in that. It's .. just Hawkins, man. Evil. Horrifying shit happens here. Thank god you got out of it alive."

Billy is silent. His eyes are closed.

"Okay."

"Okay?? That's it?"

"I'm tired."

"Alright. I'll come by tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see you. And I want to talk more."

"Bye, Steve."

"Yeah .. Sleep well."

Steve's leaving the room. He wants to stay, he wants to tell Billy how much he has missed him, he wants to tell him that he still keeps all the notes in the drawer near his bed, and he keeps rereading them, he's learnt them all by heart.

Steve wants to .. say so much. Do so much.

They have time.

***

"Listen! It's raining. September rain."

Steve opens the window and fresh fragrant air is flooding Billy's room.

Steve visits Billy every day. He stays late and they talk, hushed voices in the dimly lit hospital room. It even feels kinda nice. Feels a bit like home.

Billy inhales the sweet autumn air with his whole chest. Slowly lets it out. Looks at the wall.

"So what are we now, Harrington?"

Steve both expected and isn't prepared for this question.

"Uhm .. I uh.. I guess we'll have to wait and see."

Hargrove's chuckling.

"How soon you're gonna be able to walk properly?"

"Why? Don't want me as a cripple??"

"Not that, you idiot."

Steve is taking Billy's hand. That's really all they've been doing. Holding hands like dumb teenagers.

"It's just.. it's the hospital. Like.. there's no privacy."

Steve's looking at Billy's lips. He wants to kiss him so bad

But he turns away and looks at the door. It doesn't even have a lock.

"See, any second anyone can walk in. I don't want our first kiss to be interrupted by a fainting nurse or a shrieking Max."

"Maybe nurses here are way more chill than they look."

"Yeah maybe. But still .."

Steve's looking at Billy's lips again. He wonders how long he'll be able to fight the urge, really? They are so kissable. Magnetic

"You know, I uh .. Billy's closing his eyes and putting his head back on the pillow. "I want to thank you. For coming here. Harrington. When I was unconscious, I heard you. I heard your voice mumbling something and I even felt your fingers touching my skin."

Billy opens his eyes and looks straight into Steve's. Drawls

"C'mon let's kiss. Just a small one, c'mon Steve.." Smiles. Pouts his lips, just a little

Steve's giggling

"No, Billy, not like this. Oh my god, you're so .."

"So .. what?"

"When are you getting out of here?"

"I don't know. Doctors are always going on how unsure they are I can take care of myself on my own. But .. I'm planning an escape, Harrington. Can't stay here any longer. Enough."

Billy's eyes are closed again, his lips part a bit and it looks like he's dozing off. Steve's watching him and can't, he absolutely can't stop himself. Steve gets closer to Billy's face and kisses him lightly on the cheek.

"How's that for our first kiss, Hargrove? It's not much but.."

It's the most tender kiss he's ever had. The most meaningful one.

There's life and death in that kiss, and Steve's falling even further.

If he's losing his mind over a little kiss on the cheek, what would happen when he. When they .. You know?

He kisses him again. On the cheek. And this time? Billy moans. Just a slight moan leaving his lips, and he turns the head to the other side

And, excuse me, this quiet moan?

It goes straight to Steve's dick. Bypassing his brain, his heart, literally any part of the body that's supposed to be engaged in the chemistry of love processes

Just goes straight to his dick.

Billy's eyelashes are fluttering like feathery wings of an exotic butterfly.

"Didn't take you for a pervert, Harrington." - he's whispering.

"You don't know me, Hargrove. I'm a wild ride."

"Shit, and here I thought that my dick was brain dead."

The sheet on Billy is visibly tenting.

"Look how easy I am. When you're close to me."

Steve's in heaven. And they haven't even tried anything yet. Fuck. This is .. everything. Mind-shattering. Intoxicating. Magic potion is spreading in Steve's veins.

***

Billy definitely calls Steve "the pervert who first kissed me in my sleep".

Steve's defense is always the same

"You looked so beautiful. Like a sleeping beauty. I couldn't resist."

"You know there's a name for it. You're a somnophile, Harrington."

"Oh yeah? You fucked me last night when I was half asleep. I guess it takes one to know one."

***

Years later when they are older and have grown into each other's skin and flesh, Steve's thinking

Well. Who knew that having Billy as a boyfriend would be so much fun.

A lifetime of together with Billy fucking Hargrove is actually the best miracle that could've ever happened to Steve Harrington.

#harringrove #billy x steve #harringrove fic

[henrysglock]

Ramble 6: The Rain Fight

Great okay so now I'm thinking about how we all know the "it's not my fault you don't like girls" line hurt on its own, yes. Like that clearly stings, it's mean and it's rude and it's kind of homophobic.

But what really gets me? Not the words. It's the fact that they come from Mike.

It's being able to pinpoint the realization, for Will, that his strongest safe space is gone. The person he trusted to always be a safe space for him no longer exists (from Will's perspective). "Crazy together" is gone. Will's now fully and truly crazy alone, just like he feared not even 9 months earlier. The door has shut.

It's the fact that Will probably remembered, on the bike home, that Mike's side of "crazy together" was linked to El, not to him. Never to him.

It's Will, 14 years old, realizing that he was so stupid to think it could last. To think that "crazy together" meant anything outside of momentary comfort and reassurance between friends.

It's Will likely realizing that even back then, even during the downward spiral to his lowest point, El must have been Mike's priority. That El was the one occupying Mike's thoughts, worrying him day and night. That Mike visited when Will was sick to be a good friend, and then most likely (from Will's now unreliable POV) sticking by him through the rest of it to make sure he didn't kill anyone important.

It's Will possibly thinking back to waking up to his mom, Jonathan, and goddamn Nancy after the exorcism, but no Mike. No, Mike was off risking his life to protect El from the demodogs. It's Will possibly coming to believe that Mike left him for El.

It's everything clicking for Will in one terrible, heart-rending moment. It's the idea that this could be the exact moment when his brain pieced everything together, that this is what convinced him that Mike could never and would never love him in the same way, that this is what lead to him becoming convinced him that he should be grateful for friendship at best and never push for anything more. It's the idea that this was the missing puzzle piece that pulled all the other little details together into the bigger message for Will.

It's the fact that Will carries this into season 4. We never really see him open up fully after season 3. He gets close, during the heart to hearts, but he doesn't explicitly attach himself to any of it. Everything he says is retractable, able to be explained away easily. It's seeing Will snap into defense mode, emotionally, around Mike...and never leave it. It's being able to pinpoint the moment that this change happens.

That's what gets me.

#byler angst #byler #sad Will thoughts #listen i could talk so much about what must be going on inside that boy's head #of course this is all ignoring what Mike may or may not be thinking #its all about the ways Will could have rationalized and logicked his way through the bomb that was just dropped on him #will byers #stranger things