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#theres this guy i really dont like. lets call him jake
strawberryscorp · 6 months
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albus comes home after having a bad day and collapses into scorpius's arms
scorpius could be doing anything but he'd pause and play with albus's hair while letting him rant about his day
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wonbie · 4 months
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umm hi idk if you’ll take this request (if you don’t then it’s obviously fine!) but could you do the enha boys when they’re in a situationship w the reader? if that’s cool with you! love your work btw
situationship . 엔하이픈 . being in a situationship with enha
warnings ¿ mention of being sick genre ¿ fluff © wonbie
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lee heeseung
he would have his hands on you all the time. heeseung would definitely send you like the rizz memes and he would wink at you all the time! he'd often find himself flirting with you non stop and when you do it back he thinks he dies a little bit
park jongseong
hmm situationship with jay to me would be him taking care of you a lot. like when you're sick he's there cooking you some soup. also when he takes you shopping he makes it feel kind of like a date?? like he pays for the meal and idk he's just always acting like your boyfriend
sim jaeyun
hes like heeseung in a way. his hands are on you all the time. like you're walking into a store and his hands are literally hold yours. you're at a party and his hands are always on your waist. hes slightly possesive, he hate when guys look at you or talk to you. your friends always ask what are you but you always say just friends...
park sunghoon
he's very open with you. hes sort of like a mixture of jay and jake. i feel like he'll be a bit possesive. you're his even tho you dont know :D but then again he takes care of you all the time. takes you out on "friend dates" at least thats what he calls them
kim sunoo
you and him are besties so that covers up whatever you are. he always want to hang out with you and you only. hes always texting you non stop because hes bored and he just really want to talk to you. oh, he always takes hundreds of pictures with you and of you. even has you as his wallpaper
yang jungwon
jungwon will lay his head on your shoulder or if you're laying down he'll lay next to you and wrap his arms around you. he'll have so many pictures of you just like sunoo. also he tries to flirt with you but it always goes wrong and he gets all flustered and stuffs
nishimura riki
he's talking to you all day everyday. theres never a time hes not in contact with you. he'll always be clingy like he wont ever let you breathe. but he's also caring. he sees something at the store that you wanted and he'll buy it. he's always making sure you're happy
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paris' note . i feel like this is more of a friends to lovers type reaction but i hope it at least is a little like a situationship. i tried my best :) also thanks for requesting!!
perm taglist .. @jakeyzzz @minholing @rikizm @shalkeren send an ask or comment if you want to be added !
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jennaissantes · 9 months
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LOVE YOU TWICE — 7. promtastic events
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You were excited for prom.
You had been looking forward to it for a few months now and was ready to enjoy as much as you could with your friends.
“Oh my gosh! You look absolutely stunning bae. You’re gonna steal everyones attention today.” You couldn’t help but blush a bit at your friends comments, thanking them.
Walking hand in hand with Ricky, you entered the venue, admiring the decorations that the student council had put together.
You passed by a bunch of your other friends, complimenting each other and taking a few quick photos.
“Do you wanna go get some drinks?” Ricky asked u and u smiled at him nodding a yes.
“Okay ill go grab some. You stay here yeah?”
You looked around the place, watching your schoolmates laughing with their friends and some of the couples taking photos at the booths.
Suddenly the doors opened, revealing 7 guys all walking in together.
Of course they’d make their entry as dramatic as possible. You rolled your eyes.
You looked at Riki, admiring his outfit and almost caught yourself drooling over the boy.
You told yourself to snap out of it and turned to the other way. Just in time, Ricky approached you with the drinks he had gone to take.
“Here you go. Pink lemonade for the two of us.” The two of you joked over the tiny umbrella that was in your drink as a decoration.
Riki watched the two of you from afar.
He knew it was wrong to feel upset. You were probably dating Ricky. He wasnt supposed to feel upset at that.
Hell, he had a girlfriend.
Speaking of his girlfriend, Riki decided to look for Hayoung.
She had told him that she would be meeting him at the venue itself. Riki had wanted to pick her up and be a good escort but much to his dismay, she declined.
She saw her standing near the photobooth, talking to a guy. His heart winced.
Putting a smile on his face, he walked towards her.
“Hey babe! You didnt tell me you had reached. I was looking all over for you!”
Hayoung turned around on hearing his voice, slightly surprised.
She rubbed the side of her neck, a bit awkwardly. “Oh hey Riki.. Yeah sorry I came with a few friends.”
“Right…” Riki couldn’t help but feel like she way lying.
He walked away from Hayoung, returning to his group of friends while passing by yours.
You really did look beautiful.
Some time passed and everyone was having the time of their lives.
You decided to bring your friends to the dance floor to have some fun. While dancing, you saw someone from the corner of your eye, looking at you.
It was riki.
You looked away frowning, not wanting to maintain eye contact with him.
“Hey guys. Ill go to the washroom real quick yeah? Be right back!” You slipped away.
You didnt really like huge crowds so you felt like you needed some air.
You walked around, smiling at everyone.
After a while, you really needed to use the bathroom so you made your way to the toilets.
Just as you were approaching there, you heard a familiar voice.
Hayoung.
She was speaking to someone in a hushed voice.
“I swear, we’re gonna get caught Jaehyun. We cant do this here. Riki might see us.”
Your eyes widened. You peeked into the hallway.
Hayoung and Jaehyun were standing together. Way too close for someone who called themselves friends. His hands were around her waist and she was holding him close.
“I dont give a fuck about Riki. I dont care if he sees us. Just let me kiss you come on.”
You didnt need to hear more. You ran to find Riki. He needed to see this.
You found him by the drinks with Jake.
“Riki! You need to come with me right now. Theres something you need to see.”
Jake looked at you worriedly. “Is everything okay Y/N?”
You shook your head. “Theres no time to explain. Just follow me.”
Riki and Jake ran after you.
You told them to hide behind you and peek into the hallway where the toilets were.
Riki could feel his heart beating out of his chest.
Hayoung was kissing another boy.
He sucked in a sharp breath. His girlfriend was cheating on him.
You were right all along.
You and Jake looked at Riki, who looked nothing but heartbroken and hurt.
“What the fuck Hayoung?”
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PREV | NEXT | MLIST
a/n: and she cheats!!!! Fuck hayoung. Hayoung literally disgusts me.
TAGLIST (open): @nicholasluvbot @flwrshee @nianunbroken @hanniluvi @viagumi @teddywonss @teddywons @loveliii @im-yn-suckers @luvistqrzzz @rikizm @dneltrise @heeliopheelia @maybemiko @luvkpopp @maiverie @boyfhee @haknom @elfis-world @luvhyun3 @xiaoderrrr @1-800shutthefuckup @tnyhees @yjck121 @ahnneyong @annoyingbitch83 @j-wyoung @enhastolemyheart @dazed-hee @wonieleles @ilovewonyo @channoticedmeuwu @yeokii @str0l0gy @foxsunoo @dokiyeom @yumilovesloona @forjungwons @aernx @k1ttylvr @tamahehh @hikyeom @luvlee1313 @gyubeari @star4rin @jakelux @a-l-i-y-a @tyunni @amakumos @yyunari
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jongsiemain · 5 months
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what do ur moots remind you of?(ex: places, colors, songs, etc)
(totally not sav)
oooo this seems like sm fun okay let's go! I really hope I did this right bc lord.
@redm4ri — the colour red it's literally so mari and bc she loves it, sunghoon ofc, the word 'honey' 😊, DOLLY OUR CHILD, the country where shes from, the cruel prince trilogy (mari cardan is the best you'll get it turst me), snapchat shes the only reason I still have it fr
@delcakoo2 — soccer because she used to play and that's soifhueisiud, BC duhh, AIB I convinced her to watch that show and then we screamed abt it to e/o, applehoon pc, Yeonjun, doors on roblox bc we played it together (I carried btw), LOL I don't like lol players but ema is am exception
@.ddeonudepressions — sunoo bc yes, ateez and especially hongjoong, the ask you friend tiktoks bc we always sent each other those, the place where she lives ofc
@soov — jungwon rei is crazy for him like, whenever someone tells me to kms bc that's what she always does, also one of my irl friends since he always bullies me, brazil, jjk we talk to e/o abt it a lot, the percy jackson series I read it all bc of her fic, jaan bc that's the nn I gave her even though I dont use it
@ox1-lovesick — katrina kaif, TXT if you know sav you will know how much she loves them, fuckboy. When I tell you that sav and rei called me that for weeks I am not lying, any of the heuning siblings
@zzzseung — heeseung bc she's like his best and biggest fan, what she's studying, UOT bc we had multiple conversations abt it, where she lives, Taylor Swift like they both js come to mind yk?, whenever theres drama she knows like the first person I tell
@hanniluvi — I think tbz I think soph, sona, letters bc of her smau my penpal wait what which you need to read if you havent btw, the time when I first started reading on enhablr, the chuu bot on discord, jake
@flwoie — I'm your boy by tbz she has the song like injected in her veins atp, anything tbz related, soph, whenever someone says heart attack or cardiac arrest
@haknom — blueberry iykyk, her city, long ass acronyms bc guys. I had a heart attack trying to remember 'acgtdadnl', the words 'pays, bc of mpays (I'm so excited for that fic), webtoon bc yes 🤭, 'bubs' since that's my nn for her
@wonieleles — yale bc we were talking abt it in wme one day, mint chocolate, prom/hoco
@yenqa — apple cider by beabadoobee bc of her fic, the shatter me series, also arron (idk if I spelt that right) bc she loves that man even though I dont get it
@hsgwrld — europe fr as I like to say meg is my favourite european, dating apps 😭, arranged marriage aus bc of a wip
@kynrki — Ni-ki of course, also the time when I first started reading on enhablr, the colour yellow is so super kimmy to me
@seongclb — Britain I don't like British people but Kat is an exception y'all, 'magnet' bc that's in her fics name (kat I will read it soon i promise), pink!! that colour is so kat for some reason
@yeokii — queen lizzie 😝, henna bc it sounds like hana a bit, also srk
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pesterloglog · 3 months
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Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas
Meat, page 32
DAVE: yo
DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something
ROXY: yo yourself but this is important
DAVE: uhhh
DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??
DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely
ROXY: idk about that
ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not
ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell
ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things
ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap
ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro
DAVE: a nap you say
DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything
ROXY: yea??
DAVE: nah
ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this
ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him
DAVE: uh no
ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight
ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....
ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??
DAVE: thats weird
DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them
ROXY: idk
ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here
ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things
DAVE: so whats wrong with her again
DAVE: like
DAVE: some sort of demonic nap
ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se
ROXY: shes just like
ROXY: floatin here... upright
ROXY: eyes wide open
ROXY: and theyre both pitch black
DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads
ROXY: lol
ROXY: no dude
ROXY: like what im sayin is
ROXY: she looks a lil possessed
ROXY: by uh
ROXY: grim spirits n shit
DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again
ROXY: no!
ROXY: this isnt grimbark
ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it
ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??
ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke
DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad
DAVE: but its not really my field
DAVE: did you try calling rose
ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan
ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing
ROXY: but rose isnt picking up
ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair
ROXY: i called an unruly number of times
ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...
DAVE: huh
DAVE: spooky
ROXY: hella spooky
ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong
DAVE: yeah i guess
DAVE: what do you think is up
ROXY: idk
ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it
ROXY: its gone
ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched
DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective
DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year
ROXY: dave
DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched
ROXY: ..............
DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had
DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support
DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us
DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives
DAVE: so we gotta like
DAVE: concentrate here?????
DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives
DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)
ROXY: oh
ROXY: jakes on ur side then?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access
ROXY: god dammit jane
DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever
ROXY: siiigh
ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh
ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news
DAVE: yeah sorry about that
DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean
DAVE: not sorry that were doin it
DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by
DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do
DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation
DAVE: like objectively speaking
ROXY: ugh pls dont start
DAVE: just sayin
ROXY: idgAF!!!
DAVE: also
DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform
DAVE: i also think
DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job
DAVE: full stop
ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: of course i do
DAVE: because i...
ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question
ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while
DAVE: uh alright shoot
ROXY: yea soooo
ROXY: dave how did you come out
DAVE: ...
DAVE: what?
ROXY: like as not being straight
ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u
ROXY: do u think its ever too late to
ROXY: idk
ROXY: change ur mind?
ROXY: about the person you wanna be??
ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character
ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”
ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy
ROXY: is greedy even the right word
ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells
ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences
ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)
DAVE: ids n preffies
DAVE: damn
DAVE: thats fucking good
DAVE: anyway uh
DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now
ROXY: yeah ur right
ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam
ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here
DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that
DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time
DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping
DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade
DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her
DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital
ROXY: im thinkin about it!!
ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like
ROXY: mess with her tho?
ROXY: how would i even take her there...
DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital
DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes
DAVE: probably not a literal rap though
ROXY: wow im disappointed
DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?
DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me
ROXY: :(
DAVE: ok so
DAVE: what ive learned is
DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages
DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay
DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward
DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore
DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud
DAVE: inside you start being like
DAVE: oh shit
DAVE: maybe yes homo
DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay
DAVE: stage five is
DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described
DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal
DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine
DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day
DAVE: in really lame ways like
DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets
DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket
DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler
DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick
DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay
DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%
DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket
DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni
DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night
DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court
DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue
DAVE: anyway when all is said and done
DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you
ROXY: dave...
DAVE: what
ROXY: nm
ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this
ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk
DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything
ROXY: so whats stage ten
DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh
DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.
DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.
DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.
DIRK: They’re mine.
DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?
DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to
DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.
DIRK: I fucking dare you.
DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.
DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.
DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.
DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.
DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?
DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.
DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.
DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.
DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.
DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.
DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.
DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?
DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”
DIRK: Sure you do.
DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion
DAVE: theres lots of layers
DAVE: they suck on pizza
DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them
DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw
DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about
ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?
DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me
DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at
ROXY: yea
ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho
ROXY: but im workin on that!
ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too
DAVE: oh DOPE
DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea
DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.
DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.
DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this
DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c
DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now
DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong
DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe
ROXY: dave!!!
DAVE: ok ok
DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what
ROXY: wat
DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right
ROXY: well first of all
ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??
ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that
ROXY: even if it was effin cute
DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did
DAVE: but i could start again
DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something
DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad
ROXY: ok but SECOND of all
ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific
DAVE: what
DAVE: ugh no way
ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!
DAVE: aw fuck noooo
DAVE: wow man
DAVE: i would never call him that
DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...
DAVE: wait
ROXY: what
DAVE: something feels
DAVE: wrong
ROXY: ???
DAVE: like some shits about to go down
DAVE: and i gotta...
DAVE: karkat! dude!!!
DAVE: GET DOWN!
KARKAT: WHAT?????
DIRK: You’re absolutely right.
DIRK: I would never do that.
DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.
DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.
DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.
DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.
DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.
DIRK: But not with bullets.
DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.
DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.
DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.
ROXY: hellooooooo
ROXY: dave??
ROXY: whered ya go
DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.
DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.
DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.
DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...
DIRK: Ow!
DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.
DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.
DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.
DIRK: All he needs to do is say...
DIRK: FIRE.
DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?
DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?
DIRK: So be it.
DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.
DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.
DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.
DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.
DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.
DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.
DIRK: Like the bitch she is.
DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.
DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.
DIRK: Aaand, nope.
DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.
DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?
DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.
DIRK: Not even one syllable.
DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.
DIRK: Not that you ever did.
DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?
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x3kristax3 · 2 years
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⚠️TW: sucide, drug reference, sexual content
A part of me 2/3
First| Next
He reaches for me but i move away "that night i blacked out i dont remember much expect i drank 2 big bottles of Jack. Jessy had to call an ambulance by the time she came home and i woke up to my stomach being pumped out" i say lifting the shirt up showing the scare "shes not joking Jake if she hadn't came home when she did i would of die because thats the night i wanted it all to end. If i couldnt have you i didn't want to be here anymore" i say crying
"Please don't say that" he says
"Oh i said it in voicemails and texts to you multiple times that night i thought for certain it would change something in your heart and nothing so i tried what Jessy doesnt know is i also took some pills that night. Thats another big reason they had to pump me like they did"
Jake pulls me close fighting me fighting him until i just melt in his lap "I'm so sorry i wasn't there" 
"Sorry only means things if you can prove it. Jessy taught me that, that night. She said she would never leave me when i'm going through my downs of missing you and she proved it. She moved plans and switched days with girls at work to stay by me and when she couldn't she paid for Dan to come out and spend that time with me." I sit up and look at him and see he's heartbroken as he runs his fingers through my hair "this wasn't how you imagined tonight is it?" I say wiping a tear away from my face
"Not at all. When i saw you at the club and dancing with that guy i almost wanted to punch him right away. It made me feel like i was gonna lose you forever if i didn't do something right there to let you know" he says
Without even thinking i lean into him and kiss him then i pull away and look away and bite my bottom lip. He grabs my chin making me look at him "fuck i missed that kiss and that look" he says kisses me this time deep and i crawl into his lap
As i do theres a knock on his door " i know your in there" yells Jessy
I sigh "shes relentless"
"How did she find you?" He asks
"My location when we have girls nights we get updates of any new pings to eachother phone"  i sigh
"I just want time alone with you" he says as she pounds on the door
" shes not gonna go until she sees me" i say i say getting up and he does too and we go to the door. I stand just in front of him as he opens the door
"Jessy go home. I want to stay here tonight" i say
"I tried to keep her home" says cloe
"Its okay" i say i look at Jake "can they come in for a moment?"
"As long as she doesn't go crazy bestie on me again"
I look at Jessy "can you promise him that?"
"I can try" she says. We move from the door cloe and hannah both say Hi to him
Jessy pokes his chest "you enter her life again i dont want to see you disappear again" she says
"Everything is safe. Ive even stopped hacking until i knew i was safe to find her" he says
"What?!" I say looking surpised at Jake
"Yeah we hadn't got to that yet but didn't you notice I don't have all the screens always going?"
"No i hadn't…. Not gonna lie those other moments we had since alone again i hadnt really looked around"
"Krista why are you in his clothes?" Says hannah
"I showered after that guy at the club"
"I still dont trust you to not break her heart again. After losing Richy, i can't lose her like that…. Did she tell you she flatlined twice on us that night!?" Jessy says
"No she didn't" says Jake
" i was about to lose my best friend because you left her and she couldn't handle it after trying everything to get you back" she says tears in her eyes
I hug her "Jessy i think thats enough we will talk tomorrow when were all 100% sober okay?"
"Only if he comes to the apartment" She says
I look over at Jake 
" okay i will i will bring her home tomorrow and we can talk this all through" he says
Hannah and cloe manage to get her out and once they are gone. Jake pins me against the wall again looking down at me and he sees me melt as his slides his leg between mine.
"Oh we're gonna do this again?" I say with a smirk
"Yep i still have to get you back" he says bringing his mouth close to mine and acting like hes gonna kiss me but as i lean up he moves back "now where were we?" He says with that devilish smirk that sends chills down my spin as he takes a hand and runs it under his shirt that im wearing while his other hand holds one of mine above my head
I turn my head "jesus you haven't forgotten what drives me insane" i say and my legs go weak and im sitting on his thigh 
"No jesus here just this devil tonight and i sure haven't." He moves closer to my ear and whispers in it "since the night i left i thought about this moment. Only thing that kept me sane without you" he says as he kisses my neck.I take a big gulp trying to fight the urge " just give in" he says and as he does a soft moan escapes my mouth
"Good girl" he says as i feel his breath on my neck and his hands going along my back.
I move closer to him "please jake" i say turning my head towards him again and i look into his eyes and he smiles
"Was there anyone else since i left" he asks
"No." I say knowing what he's asking
He kisses me deep and i moan into his mouth as i lose any control i had. He pulls away and lets my hand go and i pull my shirt off but he stops it just above my head as he grabs it pinning it like that " its cute you thought you had any kind of control here" he says  as he moves me and hooks the shirt on a coat rack and walks away.
With his back still turned i manage to get my hands free and i wrap an arm around his chest. Feeling his muscles as i lean into his back "with you i know i don't. Id do anything for you" i say
As i say and do that he grabs my arm thats around him pulls me around to his front "you know there are certain things i won't let you do for me" he says while looking in my eyes
"Anything that can result in you losing me forever" i say
He kisses me deep again this time both hands on my waist as my hands run up and down his arms and chest. He starts moving us towards the couch me walking backwards and we get to the arms and i fall backwards onto cushions. I let out a whimper cause he steps back and is looking down at me.  I get up on my elbows and say "please stop teasing me"
" but you know i enjoy it" he says running his hands up my legs to short waistband and slowly moves them down. He does that and I fall back and let out a frustrated whimper. Once the shorts are off he grabs my hips and pulls me up to the sitting on the arm rest at this point im naked. He grabs my chin and pulls my head up so im looking at him "I'm gonna stop here. Im going to bed" he says kissing me again and walks away. 
I go to follow him and he turns around in the bedroom door frame. " you take 1 step in here and mr. Nice guy is gone until we wake up" he says stepping back once
I take a step in so im right against him "maybe i don't want mr. Nice guy tonight" i say with a smile
He grabs my waist picking me up and tosses me on the bed as he strips down to just boxers and i see a new tattoo on his thigh. I sit up and run my fingers across it and smile
"Why you smiling?" He asks
" you got that in my handwriting" i say
" yep the only paper i could find before i had to leave that you wrote me said those words on it and incase i couldn't find you id have it forever"
I go to get up to kiss him but he push me back as his hands run between my thighs for the first time all night and my legs instantly spread. Without even looking at Jake i know he's smiling. He lets his fingers slowly trace every inch of my body that it hasn't yet and my body instantly arches.
He starts kissing my calves up my thighs then back down the other leg. I feel his breathing on my skin. I let out a moan "i thought no more nice guy?" I say getting frustrated trying to push him futher
He crawls on top of me and my breathing getting shallow. "I know what you want and im gonna make you work for it tonight" he says this time kissing my chest.
My hand goes behind his head and the other one grabs the bedding as my body arches as he does that and i take in a deep breathe "Jake please" i beg
As i beg he slides a hand between my thighs and feels the warmth and wetness and he looks at me and smiles "someone is enjoying this" he says
" someone else is too" is i run my hand on his bulge
"Honestly the moment i knew you were following me out of the club hes been there" 
"You knew you had me in the palm of your hand" i say as i lean up to kiss him
As i do he kisses me deep and slides a finger in me. I moan instantly into his mouth as my body aches towards him
He pulls away from the kiss and bites his bottom lip "that's the moan i was looking for" he says as he just slides his finger out and slides his boxers off and slides in. 
********
I finally wake up and its almost noon. I look over at jake side and he's not there i get up throwing on the shorts from last night and as im about to walk into the living room i hear jakes voice and someone's else. I go into his closet and finds another shirt to throw on and walks out. His visitor looks at me then looks at Jake "really dude i thought your heart was on your old girl?"
"That is her" jake says as he walks into the kitchen and i follow
"Who's that?" I ask
"One of my hacker buddies who helped me get out of that life" he says handing me a cup of coffee "i figured after last night you needed to sleep" as he looks down at me
"Well i mean unless you were gonna wake me up the way i like" i say with a smile and i kiss his cheek
"God how i missed this with you. Mornings like this" he says running his hand through my hair. As he does his buddy comes walking in
"Its nice to meet you Krista" he says "but ill let you two be you probably have alot to catch up on cause i know how he feels about you" he says as he heads back out
"Krista stay here for a moment" jake says kissing me then heads out with his buddy 
"Hey man dont say anything in the community. Im really trying to walk away from that life and i know she still enters the chats" jake says
"Dude she was only getting into those chats to look for you. I told you when you walked away from her that if you didnt win her back once it was cleared up youd lost your mind. Obviously you never lost her heart" he says as he leaves
Jake walks back into the kitchen and i look at him as i lean against the counter drinking my coffee "you know when you had my call Jessy last night, you almost lost me."
He walks uo to me "i know thats why i wasn't letting you get too far away from me because i didn't want that to happen." He says running his hand along that scar again "im sorry i left you alone to the point you thought that was your only choice"
"Because i couldnt find you even in the hacker chats i thought you died. It felt like that mine all over again" i say.I hear my phone go off "its probably Jessy we should head there before she calls the cops" i roll my eyes
"Let me get dressed" he says
I grab my clothes from the night before and head into the bathroom. In there i see an outfit i swore i had lost and i open the door "jake what is this?" I ask
He comes out dressed in black jeans and a black shirt "when i left i grabbed that for if this moment happened so this morning i put them in there for you so you didnt have to wear those clothes again" he says
I close the door and throw them on. It was one of my favorite shirts he had bought me and a pair of leggings. I walk out and i catch him staring at me. "What?" I say with a smirk
"Just like i remember… but here catch" he says tossing me a bike helmet
"Really?" I say
"Yeah were riding over on my bike" he says
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nikrangdan · 3 years
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enhypen x short!reader
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pairing: enhypen x short!reader
genre: fluff, comedy
description: how enhypen would react to a short reader!!! this was requested btw i hope u guys like 😁 ive written separate headcanons for sunghoon and jay before but i wrote more here anyways 😏 THERES A COUPLE CUSS WORDS IN HERE
———————
HEESEUNG:
okay lets get this straight
hes literally the tallest member in enha
and then ur the shortest in ur friend group
POWER COUPLE ⁉️⁉️⁉️
im literally crying bc when u guys are standing facing each other heeseung is just looking straight over ur head LIKE UR NOT EVEN IN HIS LINE OF SIGHT
and THIS is why he always has his arm around ur shoulder or he makes sure ur holding onto his arm or smthn
HE WANTS U TO BE WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES BC SOMETIMES HE CANT SEE U☹️☹️☹️
and when hes practicing he likes to bring u up to dance with him
like he holds ur hands and u just try to 💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻 with justin bieber playing in the background
“i cant dance heeseung u know this” u stare up at him
“i know just vibe to the music~”
he finds it hilarious so hes giggling the whole time u two do a little jiggy
AND THEN HE GETS ALL SOFT AND TURNS U AROUND TO BACKHUG U AND FACE THE MIRRORS and he watches u guys sway back and forth slowly to the music
he loves the height difference and hes always looking at it in mirrors
JAY:
*takes a deep breath* ... JAYYYYYY‼️‼️
he probably mentioned how short u are a couple times when you first met but i dont think he would be the type to constantly point out ur height and tease u or smthn
BUT!!!!! he loves it
alot of clothes you like are often too big for you and hes like
I Am Here To Rescue You From Distress, My Love
Ur so thankful for him!!!
he loves finding clothes for you
shirts arent a big problem its mostly the pants
AND HE LIKES BUYING U PLATFORM SHOES
he says “u look so good”
Jay ur superman 🔥
idk he just thinks ur so cute
he likes to stare at u like 🥰🥰☺️☺️
❤️_❤️
Jay has such big heart eyes for u AAAAAA
when u two are in the kitchen u arent able to reach the high cupboards
SO HE BOUGHT U A HELLO KITTY STOOL
one time he stood on it and was like “y/n look”
you literally almost broke your neck trying to see him because HE WAS SO HIGH IN THE AIR
so high u were like “u got enough oxygen up there⁉️⁉️”
and then he said “u look like an ant” and he started dying at his own joke
But he never pulled that stool stunt again bc u attacked him viciously🤗🤗🤗
JAKE:
Wait im crying already
everytime i write about jake i have to take a break
hes literally too much for my heart
Okay
HE GIGGLE.....
he GIGGLE!!!!!!!
HE GIGGLES AT EVERYTHING U DO
Hes so obsessed with u its not even funny
he probably loves u more than u love him AND HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE BC HES JAKE SIM
His favorite thing ever is when sit in between his legs and ur back against his chest yknow
when u guys watch movies he feeds u popcorn like that
IM GONNA SAY THIS FOR ALOT OF THEM BUT
Head Pats!!!!!
He pats ur head alot or ruffles ur hair alot
and hes just so gentle with u
Ur like his little baby >_<
HIS BIG JACKETS WAIT
Jakes big fluffy bulky jackets
he wants u to wear them
and he
he zips them up all the way and puts the hoodie over ur head
and he just dies of laughter
Ur standing there like 🧍🏻‍♂️
“its getting hot in here jake”
you tried to flick the hood off but the chunky sleeve mixed with ur short arm was not a good combination so you couldnt even raise your arm
That made jake lose it and he just fell to the floor in tears😭
but seeing him so happy made u 🥰☺️ kinda so its okay
SUNGHOON:
Hello hand holder
i say this whenever write for hoon
but this guy🤝🤝🤝
Get those hands ready yall
mmm okay
he probably calls u shorty whenever he teases u
Rude ass 🙄
ur like “😐” and hes like
“im sorry” *attacks u in a very messy and unmannered hug to the point where u fall back onto the couch and almost break ur leg*
i bet he holds stuff up in the air so u have to jump up and attempt to get it😭 so evil
but he doesnt like seeing u suffer for too long so he gives it to u after like 5 seconds 😁
he teases u alot but when ur out in public hes like Bodyguard Hoon
Hes not letting anything happen to u!!!!
once again HES HOLDING UR HAND AT ALL TIMES
one thing he says he doesnt like but we all know hes lying is when u like to jump on his back and force him to give u a piggyback ride
he just accepts it
one time u fell asleep on his back and he was like
“uh y/n”
silence
yeah he eventually plopped u on the couch which woke u up
SUNOO:
Sunoo thinks ur so adorable 💧_💧
like u two could just be sitting next to eachother watching something
and u have ur legs pulled up to ur chest and ur arms wrapped around them with ur chin on ur knees
you hear him giggling to himself
u look over like ......🤨 “what”
“nothing y/n *giggles again* ur just so cute”
ur like Staaaaawwp and u push his shoulder
and then he pushes u back
AND THEN U START FIGHTING
Play fighting ****
u guys laugh so much 😭😭
sunoo likes to talk about you alot
to everyone
literally everyone
to the boys: “omg y/n fell trying to reach the garlic LMAO”
to his mom: “y/n went up to this guy thinking it was me and pushed him it was so funny”
to his instagram: “how did y/n fit through my neighbors doggy door and why”
PLEASE when u two have arguments for fun
u go jump on the couch so u can be taller than him
and u just stare at eachother before bursting out into laughter
he loves to show u off aaaa “heres y/n” ☺️☺️☺️☺️
JUNGWON:
EXPECT TEASING AT LEAST ONCE A DAY
Please i think id cry if i was friends with jungwon (AND NI-KI)
he play too much 😫 he actually has no chill
“can u reach this y/n? or should i carry you *evil laugh*”
but besides from the teasing he adores u so much
and theres some things you arent able to do
But hes so happy to do it for you!!! he loves feeling like hes doing smthn for u
He always has this proud dad look on his face whenever u literally do ANYTHING
u could literally pick a twig off the ground and jungwon would go 😊 thats my y/n
he likes to massage ur legs when ur just chilling on ur bed or smthn
hes got one hand massaging ur legs and his other hand massaging his own legs
“i’ll make us grow taller y/n!”
“what??? you don’t need to be taller jungwon, i do!!” u snatch the hand hes using to massage his own leg and plant it right back on ur own legs
he starts laughing really hard and u think ur the president of comedy now 🔥🔥
he likes feeling tall when hes with u
but he also likes being babied 🙁🙁
Plz give him head kisses and cheek pinches
NI-KI:
This kid is literally a titan
and hes crazy
picks u up BRIDAL STYLE and starts running around the room like an animal
like WHAT ???????
he says its because you’re the only THING around and he needs the exercise
and this kid is a teaser too😫😫
“y/n can you hand me the cereal up there? oh wait you cant”
you turn around like What the hell did u just say...
yeah he got a smacking that day
NO BUT SOMETIMES HE BE TAKING THE JOKES TOO FAR AND RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS IT HES LIKE
“im just kidding i didnt mean it”
Anyways
ni-ki is also very sweet
he offers piggyback rides and makes u little gifts
one time u got a cramp from being on ur tippy toes too long
he was laughing at first but then he saw ur eyes welling up with tears and he ran to u really fast 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
ALSO WHEN U HOLD HANDS you both always stare bc THE SIZE DIFFERENCE PLLLZZZSSMMMNXX
heres an analogy
ni-ki hands : whale :: y/n hands : seahorse
LITERALLY U CANT EVEN SEE UR HANDS ANYMORE
they just vanish into thin air and u guys think its peak comedy
“whered ur hand go y/n 💀”
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bloomingjungwon · 3 years
Note
please write a heeseung college!au !!!! ♡♡
college!au heeseung
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: thank you for requesting! sorry if this is so long, i kind of got carried away and i was kind of inspired by one of my favorite blogger's writing style
major: cinematography (don't ask why, i can just imagine him being so into making motion pictures)
he'd probably minor in like north american or woman studies tbh
i can see him as a really quiet, doesn't involve himself in too many things, kind of student
doesn't really speak up when it isn't needed
but if it's a topic he's really familiar with, you can't shut him up
definitley the type of student to sit in the very front even if the classroom has like a billion seats left open
i also see him as the type to never be in the library, he usually just studies out on the grass or in a very underrated cafe.
lives off of coffee to the point his roomate!jake tells him he smells like coffee 25/8
you know how gym freaks take a shot of like protein powder before their workout? yeah that's him but with ground up coffee beans if he is in a rush and doesn't want to wait for his coffee to brew.
it's kinda funny, you don't know heeseung, and he doesn't know you. but you pass each other almost everyday because you also go to the same cafe as him.
like youre always leaving as he enters and like????
hello how r u not noticing such an amazing human being
but dont worry, ya'll meet some day
you're walking across your campus and the bulletin board catches your attention
amongst all the papers screaming "tutor needed" or "join our club", theres a flier SMACK DAB in the middle
"class do20 presents mini films at flint theatre this friday!"
and like, that peaks your interests
because you've always appreciated people's works
but you're kinda just standing in the middle of the walkway and staring at it , you don't realize someone standing next to you
"are you going to go and watch?"
you nearly jumped out of your skin cause like, who tf just talks to someone without getting their attention first
heeseung does
and now he's just staring at you waiting for an answer
"uh,, yeah seems kind of interesting. why? are you?"
"i have no choice to. i'm a part of it, i just haven't started on my film yet."
.... homie, the show is on friday and it's currently tuesday
silence
no words or expressions are exchanged and you're just staring awkwardly at each other
but in reality, you two are just silently admiring each other's features
"do you want to be a part of my film?"
your blank expression turned into a "wtf" kind of expression
"you want me, a complete stranger, to be a part of your film?"
he proceeds to tell you that it'll be a lot easier for him to work with a stranger since he'd most likely not mess around
because this boy needs to get his assignment done asap
and you kind of hesitate but then you're like "well, fuck it. sure"
and then he smiles. and holy
this guy has one of the most captivating smiles ever and you literally feel your heart stop for a small second
"let's get started today, if that's okay with you?" he suggests
and you agree and tell him you have one more class, but he can meet you at a cafe you're usually at
and now it's his turn for his heart to skip a beat because he's talking to an attractive person who just willingly agreed to help him on his project AND goes to the same underrated cafe???
but before he can say anything.. you're already walking away
and now he's just standing there dumb and love struck
but yeah heeseung is already at the cafe thirty min early while he waits for you, camera out facing the door, waiting for you to enter
catches you on film as you walk inside and he kinda just watches you in awe as you're scanning the room to find where he is
you give him a small smile and wave and in that moment, heeseung knew what title he was giving his film
you take your seat and you're like "so, what would you like me to do?"
and heeseung just asks you to do whatever you would usually do at the cafe
and you're like oh sweet. that's easy.
so you ask him what kind of coffee he wants and when he tells you, you stand up to leave and order coffee
he films everything
from you standing in line awkwardly, you picking at your nails, scrolling through your phone, ordering... literally everything
you come back holding both cups (which of course he films too)
"i usually just do my homework while i'm here, but i don't have a lot today"
"that's fine. you can just do it, and if it's okay, i can ask you questions to get to know you better."
"yeah that's okay with me. i can multitask well. i think."
that earns you a chuckle from him
he angles the camera at the end of the end of the table, focusing on you
and ya'll just do homework together and learn new things about each other
like how you eat pizza with a fork and knife because you refuse to get your hands dirty
which heeseung reacts with "do you need professional help?"
but homie blurts out he lives and breathes off of ramen noodles and his roomate!jake has to restock for him every two days
and you're like.... "you're the one who needs professional help."
and for a couple hours
you guys are just goofing around and talking to each other as if you've known each other for years
homework done, three cups of coffee later, heeseung's camera runs out of battery so he calls it a day
chooses the next location to film
a dog park
so the next day, classes done, you meet him at the dog park, and even brought your dog
films you throwing tennis balls, petting dogs, and even you getting chased by a dog
laughs throughout the whole filming process but then internally regrets it because he notices it could probably be heard in the video
breaks it to you that he has enough content for his project
and lowkey youre kind of sad because you've had fun being around him the past two days but you keep it to yourself
"i'm glad i could help. i can't wait to see it heeseung."
loves the way you say his name and now he's sad too because he doesn't really have an excuse to hang out with you more
so ya'll part ways after saying bye
but it's not some dramatic "i'm never going to see them again"
cause ya'll run into each other again at the cafe the next day
and it's kind of unspoken but ya'll just silently agree to sit down with each other and work on homework
you, reading out of your textbook, and him working diligently on his laptop (shh he's editing his film)
and you kind of steal glances his way and he's just smiling to himself as he works
and that's because he loves the way his film is coming along, and he loves seeing you
because in that moment, you both realize you have feelings for each other
but once again it's unspoken cause you're both scaredy cats
you call it a day and say bye and him back
you guys don't see each other until the night of the film show
and you're like okay i'll tell him i have feelings for him after the show
little did you know, he was thinking the same thing about you
but he's up in the film booth sweating his ass off because he knows you're somewhere in the crowd
and all of a sudden he doesn't want to be there
"what if they don't like me in that way?" "what if they take my video the wrong way?"
internally and externally panics
but before he can grab his cd and break it, the lights turn off and oh shit the show is starting
tbh, the films from the other students were quite interesting and you were enjoying each one
but this uncomfortable feeling was forming in the pit of your stomach
were you anxious? nervous?
idk but you were anticipating heeseung's film
and finally on the screen appeared heeseung's picture and biography
you didn't even notice the smile growing on your face
you thought to yourself, what did he even name his film?
"love through my eyes"
....love??
does heeseung have feelings for me too? or did they switch up someone's film with his??
but nope, there was no switch up
you watched yourself on the screen, from you smiling at him at the first moments in the cafe, to you laughing at his eating habits, and to you being chased by the dog, audibly hearing heeseung's giggles
but you thought it was over until there were more clips of the both of you in the cafe
however, they weren't from the first meeting. the clothes you both were wearing were different
wait, isn't this from two days ago? he filmed us that day?
from a hidden angle, the camera caught you two stealing glances at each other when the other wasn't paying attention.
you looked at him with stars in your eyes, and when you went back to your textbook, he stole glances at you as if your were his entire universe
speechless, the film ended, and with his film being last, the show ended and the lights turned back on
you didn't even applaud, for you ran out of the building immediatley, looking for heeseung
and there he is at the entrance of the theatre just staring at his feet
looks up when you hear him running up to him
"so... the film" he starts
but you don't let him finish because you pull him by the shirt and kiss him
and he's shocked because what the fuck they're kising me?!?!
but relaxes and kisses you back
and yeah, that's how your relationship starts
and expect him to film you at random times
would probably treasure "love through my eyes" and play it as a surprise at your guys' wedding in the future
im crying
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heewrlds · 3 years
Text
the boy next door | an enhypen au series
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pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x reader x non-idol!jake
genre: fluff, angst, wholesome series
plot: you and sunghoon have been best friends for as long as you could remember. he finally musters up the courage to confess his feelings to you, but when a cute boy from australia moves next door, things start to take a turn.
notes: this is a jakehoon love triangle series ! i wrote this long time ago but i’ve fixed it up ! let me know if you have any suggestions or thoughts through my asks !! bolded mean it’s through text btw !! also all members of enha will be featured one way or another !!
tags: @cha-raena​
i plan on updating every day btw !! if u want to be tagged then pls let me know !!
<<<prev chapter
————
2
you and jake walked through your front door to see sunghoon eating cupcakes in your kitchen.
your house was like a second home to him, your parents treated him like on of their own.
sunghoon heard the door open and to his surprise he saw you with another boy. he didn’t like that
“sunghoon! this is jake, he just moved today” you closed the door behind you.  “I was thinking that maybe he could join us tonight so you two can get to know each other.” you eagerly wanted the two boys to become friends.
“hey man, its nice to meet you.” jake reached for sunghoons hand.
sunghoons eyes met jakes fingers.
he didnt want to go out with you and jake.
he was going to ask you out tonight... alone.
nonetheless, sunghoon didnt want to be rude or make you upset.
“hey, its nice to meet you. im park sunghoon.” sunghoon shook jakes hand, awkwardly smiling.
“y/n, im sorry but is there a washroom i can use” jake asked
“right over there, jake” you pointed to the hallway beside your kitchen as jake hurriedly rushed to the washroom as he didnt want to leave you two waiting.
you looked over to make sure jake couldnt hear you.
“hoon, isnt he soooo cute?” you squealed.
sunghoons eyes widened. “yeah i guess so”
he just felt like his heart shattered in a million pieces. do you like jake? was he too slow? did he miss his chance? will you ever love him back?
“hey sunghoon, who are those flowers for?” sunghoon was hiding flowers behind his back.
“oh these? theyre for uhhhh... your mom,, yeah” sunghoon scratched his head.
they were really for you.
jake came back from the washroom.
“so lets get going” jake smiled wiping his hands on his pants.
“on second thought, its getting kind of late and i have practice tomorrow morning. i dont think i can go” sunghoon really really did not want to go with you two.
“aw okay hoon, well i guess its just you and me jakey” you turned to jake, giggling.
jakey?! did she just call him “jakey” sunghoon thought. he couldnt let you two be alone together.
“on second thought, i can go for a bit” sunghoon changed his mind
“yayy” you clapped your hands as you three head out the door.
---
you three talked for about an hour.
sunghoon felt awkward. it was like he was interrupting something.
they just met today. stop overthinking sunghoon took a sip of his milkshake, he looked at you who was looking at jake who was telling some sort of story about his school life back in australia.
“excuse me, im going to go to the washroom” you said. leaving the two boys alone.
“soooo, jake how do you like it here so far” sunghoon tried to break the ice.
“it was hard at first, but y/n is super kind. theres nothing between you two right?” jake remembered what you said earlier that day, but he saw the way sunghoon looked at you, and he saw those flowers in sunghoons hands earlier. he wondered how you were so oblivious that a handsome guy like sunghoon had a crush on you.
“aha nooo, we’re just friends” sunghoon turned red.
jake knew sunghoon was lying. he wanted to help sunghoon but he was kind of interested in y/n. he only met you today but he really felt a connection.
“ah okay good to know. shes really cute and i wouldnt want to ruin anything. would it be okay if i maybe you know” jake smiled.
jake didnt have any ill intention, he just wanted to get to know y/n better plus he was a competitive person. 
“yeah of course aha” sunghoon looked down.
no no no no no he thought.
“thanks bro, i hope we can be friends” jake reached for sunghoons hand again.
sunghoon smiled back
“me too”
---
later that night,,
sunghoon missed his chance and he knew it
he blew it. he may never get the chance to ask you out
he needed to move faster than jake.
he needed to get it together before jake could.
his phone rang
y/n: hey hoon,, are you okay? you were acting strange earlier
so y/n did notice.. he thought
sunghoon: im okay, ive just been tired. 
y/n: are u sure??? :0
sunghoon: yes i am sure. 
y/n: alright :)) anyways, what do you think of jake.. cute right ;) lol
sunghoon: yeah hes cool
y/n :/// you dont like huh... sunghoon dont be jealous 
sunghoon: why would i be jealous?
y/n: hoon, no one could ever replace you. youre my best friend. youre like a brother to me.
sunghoon: aw ok, ty gn y/n
y/n: hoon? you good?
y/n: sunghoon??
y/n: hello????
sunghoon dialed a number on his phone.
“jay, can you help me out.” sunghoon needed advice from his greatest pal. jay park.
“are you finally going to ask out y/n” 
“yes, i am”
“ALRIGHTTT! lets meet tomorrow at 12″
“sounds like a plan” 
sunghoon hung up the phone.
he sighed, laying on his bed.
hopefully he wasnt too late.
next. chapter 3>>>
----
notes: if u enjoyed this then pls reblog and like this !! also let me know whos team you are and what you would want to happen next :)))
team jake
team sunghoon
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zmayadw · 3 years
Text
Hello :) 
It’s time for the next part :)
Thanks again to all who read it so far!
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 3
I woke up with the sun already out, making my eyes adjust to the light again. I checked the clock above doors. 9.45. Huh, nice, I tought, the nurse didnt lie when she said the pain meds would make me sleep better. I felt more rested today, but still pretty sore. I managed to get up and go to bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror -I looked like hell. I hoped Jessy would come today with my stuff, I needed some fixing up urgently. As I was leaving the bathroom, my phone beeped with new message. My heart jumped with excitement,only to see it was Jessy. „Hey hey, sleeping beauty, im sorry, you will have to manage without my awesomness today, but dont worry, i'm sending the next best person to keep you company! ;D Call you later ,kisses!“ I smiled as I layed back to bed. That sweet nurse from before entered my room smiling. „Good morning, hun, hope you slept well“. „I sure did, thanks.“ I replied, while she settled the food tray with breakfast on the stand. She helped me make myself comfortable in bed, and putted the tray in front of me, when a voice came from the door. „Doris! My favorite nurs!“ It was Dan, and Doris chuckled as Dan came over to the bed. „Oh my, hun, if I knew who your friend was, I would have brought you something stronger then this tea“ I laughed, while Dan made a gesture with his hands, stabing at his heart. „Awww, c'mon Doris, dont be so cruel, you know you like me!“ Doris just waved her head as she went for the door. „If this schmuck starts to bother you too much, you just yell hun.“  I smiled at her „Thanks Doris, I might just do that.“  Dan looked at me. „Is that a 'thank you' I get for coming here?“ he siad, being dramatic as Dans always is. I grinned „Ofcourse not! But its entertaining to see you all squirmy.“ „Tsk,tsk, sure, pick on poor Dan.“ He grabed a chair and sat next to the bed. „You look like shit, Maya.“  „Gee, thanks Dan, thats really what I wanted to hear.“ I said, even tho I knew he was right, I did look awful. „Hey, dont get mad at me, I just say it as it is! Luckily, Dan is here to the rescue..again.“ he said handing me my backpack. „ Jessy went through your stuff, and filled your pack with what she tought you might need the most. She said to text her later if theres anything else you need so she can bring it.“ „Thanks Dan.“ I said taking the backpack from him. „And I mean thanks, not just for this.“ Dan looked at me, and I could read a bit of worry on his face. He quickly tried to hide it „Hey, no need to thank me, I told you once before, if theres a damsel in distress, im here to help.“ „Damsel“ I snorted. „Doubt that a damsel would act so stupid as I did.“ I felt that awfull feeling of guilt taking over me again. „Look Maya, i'm really not the one to judge you here. Yes, what you did was Incredibly stupid, and lets be honest, you almost got yourself killed. When Lily called me and told me everything, I was so pissed at both of you, well you mostly, but also kinda excited that someone actualy took the matter into its own hands.“ I looked at him with awe, I didnt quite expect it. He continued „And frankly, I kinda expected something like this from you sooner or later, well at least the part of you coming to Duskwood. As I was running to my car, calling Thomas and filing him in on everything,I got really angry at you for not turning to me for help. You know I would help you no matter what, I told you that hundred of times before.“  „Yes Dan, I know you would.“ I said, even more of that guilt creeping in. „But you didnt! Then I tought, maybe afterall you didnt trust me enough as you said.“ „I did trust you, I do trust you Dan, you have to know that.“ Now even tears started forming in my eyes. „I know, Maya, its just how I felt at the time. And when I got to the mine, Thomas was already there, with this cop who was close by and responded to the call since I told Lily to inform that inspector guy. He said we should wait for backup, but stuborn as I am, I just rushed in, Thomas yelling after me, but I just kept running. Good thing they went after me, because God only knows what would happen if they didnt.“ I couldnt keep the tears anymore, and I just burst out crying. Dan got up from his chair, sat next to me on the bed, hugging me. „ As I said im not here to judge you, or make you fell more guilty. Heck, I might have done the same thing, or something worse. Things wer starting to get us really nowhere, and something happening was kinda of a kickoff for me. And im not mad at you any more Maya, just to get that out in the opet.“ „Thanks Dan, I really appriciate it.“ I barely managed through my tears. „Yeah,yeah, im awesom, I know.“ He grined at me, as i looked him with eyes full of tears. He huged me a bit tighter, and I rested my head on his shoulder. „You got me really freaking scared there in that mine, Maya. When I saw you like that..“ he paused.  „I cant say how much im sorry about all, Dan. I did more harm then good, and I betrayed all of you guys again.“ „Well, at the end, you did find Hannah, so im sure Thomas wont have that much of a grudge.“ He grined at me, handing me a tissue, wich made me relax a bit. „Yes I did. And how are our little love birds doing?“ i asked wiping the tears, as Dan moved back to the chair. „Oh, theyr fine. Thomas is not letting Hannah alone for one milisecond, wich is a bit too wooshy mooshy if you ask me.“ He mad a face of gaging. „Oh, c'mon mister tough guy, that picture Jessy sent me of you two from last night was quite mooswhy wooshy in my eyes.“ I said teasingly. „If you ever say that to anyone about me, and I mean ANYONE, i swear Maya...“ I didnt let him finish, I just grined „Dont worry, your mooshy wooshy secret is safe with me.“ „Good, good. So when are they letting you go from this shit hole?“ „Oh, come on, its not that terrible here: food is not bad, room is nice and quiet, and I have a killer wiev, what's the hurry?“ „I promised you some whiskey.“ he grined „And Jessy wont let me drink, but when you get out she wont be abel to say no.“ „ You really ARE scared of Jessy.“ I said laughing. „She might be small, but the woman is a dynamite when serious!“ I laughed so hard, the tea I just sipped when out through my nose. „Thanks Dan, I needed this.“ „Dan to the rescue.“ He smiled and winked. „Sooo...“ he starte, and I got a feeling I knew what he gonna ask me. „Did the 'hackerboy' contaced you by now?“ „His name is Jake, could you please not call him that anymore.“ I said a bit too stern maybe. „All right, all right, no need to get all serious on me now. Did 'Jake' contacted you?“  I hesitated for a brief moment before answering „No, nothing yet. And to be honest, might be better like that. I myself am not too eager for that talk .“ „Heh, I can understand that. If I was that much pissed at you back then, I dont want to imagine how much 'hac..' , sorry, Jake is pissed at you right now.“  „Well, I guess I will find out soon enough..if he still wants to talk to me at all.“  Dan putted on his serious face, but with a little grin on it „Hey, if he talks bad to you, let me know, i'll show him off!“ „Ohh, im sure you would enjoy that..maybe even to much.“ I said, him grinning even more. „But thanks, Dan, again, for everything.“ „Yeah,yeah, dont you get all wooshy mooshy on me now also.“ he said, getting up. „Well, I gotta go. You get better soon, and call if you need anything.“  „Thanks, Dan, sure will.“ I replied, and waved him goodby. Doris came shortly after Dan left, and got me off the IV, suggesting I take a shower. I grabbed the pack Jessy sent me, and went through it. I took out some underweare, clean shirt and sweatpants, grabbed the shampoons, tooth brush and paste and headed for the bathroom. The shower did feel nice, but it took me ages to finish it, since I was still quite sore. A big bruise at my ribs was still making me short breathed at the times, and all the other cuts and bruises didnt help with easing the pain either. I had a  cut on the back of my head, wich was the reason my head still throbed a lot. I brushed my teeth, looked myself in the mirror, and already could notice some color coming back to my cheeks. I got back to bed and took my phone, might aswell check those messages and emails, its not like I'm have anything smarter to do. Most emails wer not important, I answered a few I needed, and switched to messages. Most of missed calls and messages wer from the night of the incident, so not much replaying needed here. Cleo sent a message saying shes happy im ok, and she will come to visit soon. Thomas also sent a message, thanking me for everything, emphasising tho that I was reckles and how all could have ended differently, but still no grudges from his side. He was just too happy Hannah was back with him. Ofcourse, they all wished me to get well soon, and they cant wait for when I get out so we can all meet properly.I replied to both, thanking them for good wishess. Staring at my chats screen, I opened my conversation with Jake. He was offline, ofcourse. I stared at the blinking pointer on the text space, but I didnt know what to write. My head was blank, I couldnt think of anything. After few minutes I exited the chat, settling the phone aside, and turning the tv on. Maybe some movie or something will get me relaxed a bit. I switched through channels, till I found something acceptable to watch. I ajusted myself on the pillow, and before I knew, dozed off.
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jeonchan26 · 4 years
Text
Love Me Not (Part 3)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Theme; Angst...Very Angst.
Warnings; Heartbreak, Saddness. Super Low Self-Esteem. Abuse & Toxic Relationship. Mention of sex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m sorry he is your what?” Jimin asked you looking confused.
How were you going to explain to him that you were dating a guy that not only embarrassed you in the public eye but also had the audacity to put his hands on you. But you were trying to move on from Jimin, why was he the only Happy? Why couldn’t you be happy?
Looking down at your hands you answered him, “Yea we started dating a few days ago. He is really nice once you get to know him.” Lies that was all that was coming out of you mouth but you wanted to show him that you were doing better.
“(Y/N) you cannot be serious!? This is the guy that put his hands on you not that long ago. & was screaming on you for bumping into him. I don’t like him.” Jimin exclaimed getting up from his seat walking back and forth, pushing his hair back. He was trying to process the new information that was giving to him. He saw the way he treated you today. Theres no way you would date some like him. Why were you dating him!?
“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not Jimin. We are not together anymore” even though you said it in a small whisper it still made Jimin stop his movement and turn to you slowly giving you a shocked face.
“I still care about you!? How can you that someone like him when we just broke up a few months ago!!” Jimin was angry at you for dating someone else but mostly himself because he broke you beyond repair. He could see it on you face, your body. Everything about you changed in a matter of months and he was scared that he might lose you.
“I didn’t love you anymore. Why would I stay with you if I didn’t love you anymore? Everything was changing between us and by the looks of it now. You’ll do anything to get my attention. I didn’t know you were so stupid to date a low life like him. But I guess you’re that much of a desperate whor-” he was cut of by you hand striking his cheek. He was shocked he never thought you would hit him.
This made you angry, how dare he judge you. “You don’t get to call me a whore. Because YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME FOR YURI & 3 DAYS LATER AFTER YOU LEFT ME YOU WERE DATING HER ALREADY SHOWING HER OFF TO THE WORLD. You didn’t even bother doing that with me. But I understand you were ashame of me. Fuck I mean look at me I’m nothing compared to her!” You were pulling you hair. It was so much to take the pain everything was driving you crazy. Couldn’t he see how much you were hurting because of him. He decided to end you relationship and move on days after. And now that you are trying you turned out to be the bad guy.
This wasn’t fair.
“(Y/n) I’m sor-”
“Get out. I never wanna see you again” you cut him off looking so defeated. Jimin was scared to leave the look on you face said everything. He saw you were tired, hurt, sad, but mostly angry. He didn’t know if it was towards him or yourself. He wanted to hold you and apologize, he didn’t know what came over him and he just snapped not only were you dating someone else but this was mentally and physically abusing you and you were just letting him.
This wasn’t the girl he fell in love with. The girl he fell in love with was strong, independent, loving, caring, kind and so many other things. But this girl was different she looked broken and he was the reason why.
“I told you to get out. I never wanna see you again.” With one last shove you opened the door for him, jimin stepping out but not before looking at you with a sad look.
“What have I done? Why would I hurt the girl that I love the most?” Jimin thought as you slammed the door on his face. He heard you slide down the door and cry. Jimin put his hand on forehead on the door silent tears running down his face. He still loved you, so deeply. He needed you back in his life just didn’t know how.
Weeks later....
You were back in school, you noticed that Jake was becoming more demanding, making you do everything for him. He didn’t treat you like a girlfriend, he treated you more like a slave than anything. And god forbid you got anything wrong or said the wrong thing. The bruises from last week were barely getting better. You were label as the quiet girl, had no friends but was still dating the hottest and richest guy in school. The students couldn’t find an explanation but they didn’t bother either.
Every day you would see Jimin drop or pick up Yuri at the same spot. You were so numb from the pain, you didn’t know if it hurt because of Jimin or because of Jake.
You completely changed and Jimin took noticed. Especially after Jungkook and Yoongi has informed him about what they saw last time they saw you with Jake.
“Hey Jimin have you talked to (y/n) at all lately?” He heard Jungkook asked him as him and Yoongi walked into the living were him and the rest of the members were watching tv.
“The last time we talked we ended in bad terms. It’s been weeks since we’ve talked.” Jimin said grabbing the attention of the other members.
“We saw here at the store with some dude and she didn’t look too good. Did she start dating someone” Yoongi stated. Jimin felt his heart stopped. He knew exactly what they were talking about.
“Oh yea that’s her umm new boyfriend?” Jimin felt the venom in his mouth as soon as the word boyfriend left. He hated to think that you had someone else, someone that didn’t fucking deserved you. It made him angry, his hand clenching into fist.
“Wait, she has a boyfriend. How come you never told you” Taehyung asked him.
“I didn’t think you guys would care plus it’s the same dumbass that screamed and touched her at the park” Jimin stared shrugging his shoulders.
“Wait hold the fuck up. You mean to tell me that she is dating the fucker that treated her like shit in public!? And you fucking knew and didn’t tell us about it! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Namjoon stood up from his sit looking angry. Namjoon had always had a soft spot for you. You were like a little sister to him. He hated himself for pushing you to the side when you and Jimin broke up but he figured you needed space.
“Hyung he doesn’t look like a good guy. He was yelling at her and pushing her for grabbing the wrong thing. We stepped in but the guy pulled her away before we could ask her anything. She had bruises on her body. She looked like she had a black eye but he took her away too fast to confirm” Jungkook said in a sad voice.
“What happened the last time you saw her?” Him asked him. The boys were shocked to hear what Jungkook had said.
“Well it didn’t go so well. I confronted her about it because she attends the same University as Yuri. And she was with that guy, he was being stupid and screaming at her. He force her to agreed to go to her house even after she has declined the offer. I got to her house hours later and when she opened the door she was wearing my tshirt but she has bruise in her body umm sexual bruises” Jimin felt his jaw tighten after he said those words out loud.
The members were quiet waiting for Jimin to finish the story but he could tell they were getting angry, “anyways so we started talking and she told me she was dating him and I flipped I told her that how could she move on to someone as low as him in the matter of weeks. Fuck I even accused her of being a desperate whore begging for my attention. She slapped me and told me I had not right to judge her since I had moved on after 3 days after I left her. I just don’t know what happened. I flipped and she kicked me out but she looked so broken. It’s all my fault” Jimin was looking down at his hands, to scared to look at the members.
He knew the members cared deeply about you and the fact that he said that to you, he definitely deserved the slapped. When he looked up he noticed the flares from his members he knew they were pissed at him for his actions.
“You mean to tell me that you fucking knew that bastard was touching her without her consent and you decided to call her a desperate whore.” Hoseok asked him with a disbelieved look on his face. He was angry, Jimin couldn’t have been more stupid.
“You left her Jimin for a someone new. You had to fucking right to judge her because if anybody was meant to be judge it would be you!” Hoseok finished looking like he was ready to punch something or him.
“Fuck I know okay? I was angry it took me that to realized that I still love her. But I just don’t know what to do. I’ve only been with Yuri to keep an eye on her but every day she looks worse and worse and I can’t take it anymore. I know I should of told you guys sooner but I just didn’t know how to tell you guys. I feel like shit because just starting at the dumbass makes me angry. I just FUCK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. HOW TO GET HER BACK!” Jimin was at the average of pulling out his hair.
“Look you made a mistake. We are humans after all. You should’ve told us as soon as you noticed. Not let it go by months and waited til now. The first thing we gotta do is get her away from that guy. If you don’t love Yuri you need to break up with her. She doesn’t deserve for you to be playing with her. Once (y/n) is better and ready maybe you can try and see if you can get her back. But right now what matters is her. Not you. Her. So if you really want her back you need to understand it’s going to take some time and you have to be patience. She is broken not only by the guy but by you too. We will help because you are our brother but don’t ever let something like this happened again.” Yoongi told him while she took a seat next to him patting on his shoulder.
Jimin knew his brothers wouldn’t leave him behind. He was going to get you back no matter what happens. He loves you, you are it for him and he knows this is a fight he is willing to fight for.
Part 4 Finally Coming Soon🦋
Sorry if this wasn’t good and the grammar.
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smutav · 4 years
Text
So i posted the pictures I had for my xray and comic in this post here and I said id wait a year but I’ve decided I need to lay this project to rest and move on to what comes next. Its under the cut because its mad king heavy
the old man part was fully scripted out so I’m going to throw the script in here first then it’ll be just notes for the general plotline
(M) Old Man   = O1 / (J) Old Man   = O2 / Xray          = X / Vav           = V
we come in on Xray and Vav coming onto the scene but we start lookin at the old men
O2: "Uh Oh, the calvaries here" O1: "issit the popo? tell them they cant make me go back... to that horrible home... fulla old people..." O2: "No.. its those spandex kids again" O1: "Oh, the blue one confused me... so blue jus like those dirty cops" O2: "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE" [O2 throws something that lands nowhere near xray and vav] V : "Look you have to stop causing a ruckus!" O1: "ah ah ah prettyboy we got da bomb" O2: "Thats right if you get in our way it'll be a real stinker!" O1: "Uh Ohhhh"
X : "you have got to be kidding me" O1: "I'm too old for kidding, im old-ding over here" V : "What are you doing with a bomb!?" O2: "We've got demands!" O1: "Oh yeah lots of demands!" O2: "We want.... Pudding!" O1: "Oh yeah and none of that rice shit in there" O2: "get that rice out of our pudding no chunks!" O1: "itsa chokin hazard, I almost died when they had that at the home" O2: "thats why we left they was tryna kill us" O1: "But you only show up to stop two guys havin fun" O2: "Ya punks!" [Vav has snuck over to the obviously hidden 'stink bomb' and gags when he sees whats under the cover]
O2: "Ey!" [he smacks Vav with a cane] "gettaway from there" O1: "These two have no manners" O2: "they jus go touchin stuff that doesnt belong to them!" O1: "Well two can play at that game" [he moves towards Xray pointing at his glasses] "I want those" X : "How about I give you this instead" [he shoots a lazer at the old guy but it bounces off his walker] O1: "uh oh you shouldn't have done that" X : "oh yeah what if i do it again" [it really has the same result smart guy]
[Vav at the same time is dealing with.. a really slow old guy. and he dodges a punch an the old guy just keeps goin down and hits the ground] O2: "Ah! I'm hit thats it for me! [he tries to get up but just knocks himself over again] it's over for me I'm deadd. You killed me ya bastard" V : "I really didn--" O2: "this blood is on your handssss ohhh im goinnnn" [Vav backs off while the old man keeps slowly 'dying' to help out with Xray who's wrestling for his glasses from O1]
X : "Youre smudging up my glasses!" O1: "oh i'll do more than that" [he moves to take a lick at them] X : "no you dont!" [He punches the old man square in the jaw] O1: [catches himself on the walker] "you want a boxing match, i used ta have the belt ya know" [he lands a punch on xray who doesnt even flinch]
V : [Vav comes up from behind and pulls the old man away] O1: "No he's got me!" [he flails a bit but ineffectively to get out] "this is just like the 40s you cant stop all this" V : "We're sending you both back to the old folks home just stay there this time!" O1: "You'll never keep us caged! We'll always be ba-- Oh no is this a heart attack? Ma is that you in the light I'm-- I'm comin... comin to kick your dead ass" [and he's dead]
[Xray and Vav dump the old guys on an elderly bus they're used to dealing with these guys 'dying' and approach the stink bomb which is the stink jug but theres wires and stuff attached to supposedly detonate it] X: "Well I guess we'll have to deal with this" [he kicks the 'stink bomb' and Vav goes green] V: "I guess it'd be best to get it to Hilda she'll know how to get rid of it" X: "right lets go" [he starts walking leaving Vav to carry the barrel, poor vav]
I hope the notes after this make sense plot wise a lot of it was going to be explored deeper as we get drawing XDD ((also you get all my note writing jokes that i make to myself))
V = xray and vav / K = mad king / R  = rimmy tim / M = mogar
(V) - I need,, some basic everyday hero biz to start the story with - tIME TO THROW THE OLD MEN IN THERE (K) - He decides to try out his powers a lil test run ((around Hilda's lab)) - Xray and Vav crash the party ofc - He gets by them EASY slow mo can't do much against teleporting - He didn't have much of a goal for it but, now he knows he has the upper hand on Xray and Vav - He leaves victorious (V) - He gets the business end of a run in with ender ryan - What was that?? he can teleport?? - Well we have to figure something out! (R) - Rimmy Tim runs into Mad King - Which is wild! thought he was dead! - but he does have some weird ass shit going on (K) - Wow running into Rimmy Tim isnt that neat? - He pays no mind to the Battle Buddy (R) - Rimmy Tim is crashing at Jake's place ((to be relevant)) - He also meets Xray and Vav but nobody knows what his full deal is ((and theyre distracted from having they ass kicked))
(V) - Vav is the plan guy - They get intel that he has a weird power source - it gave him the powers so if they can figure it out maybe they can take them away! - We'll need to be stealthy boys... - MOGAR! - ask mogar for help, he distract while they sneak in and nab the gem (M) - The plan involves Mogar fighting Mad King up front - Mogar runs into Rimmy Tim and is suspicious of him (K) - Ofc he knew Xray and Vav would make a plan - Mogar comes to fight him aw they just decided to send a fwiend - Mad King is busy beating Mogar and doesn't notice that they got the gem ((Uh Oh! Plothole!)) (M) - They dont see him at the meeting place (K) - He Notices when he decides to experiment with it and tries out a lesser power source - Resulting in Zombie Mogar
(V) - They HAVE to find Mogar - poking around the outside for a sign of him they find his sword in the dumpster - thats,,, not good - its really heavy but if vav straps it to his back he can handle it - they wind up splitting up for any sign of Mogar (K) - Well if you're going to be rude about it - [teleports in the streets] - Have it your way do what you want - [and he leaves Mogar there] - when he teleports back Rimmy Tim is there and he quips ab how convenient tping is (R) - MK has him get rid of the new power source obviously a failure (V) - It gets dark but vav hears a noise in the alley - He finds Mogar! But he's eating something - Mogar growls and starts running at him - *british screaming* - As he BOOKS IT around a corner Xray runs into him and Vav just grabs his arm - NO TIME TO EXPLAIN - so what the plans just fucking run - oh wait thats Jake's van - *climbs in* wEHAVE TO GO HIT THE GAS - bro its a red light - iTS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THERES NO TRAFFIC JUST - Mogar jumps on the vAAAAAAAA - Thats enough to convince Jake she slams on the gas - " you guys are paying for any tickets i get"
((for context, Jake is my oc she has an ask blog that I was planning to use to be like in between she and rimmy tim are hanging out and you might find out things from interacting w her. But for character knowledge she’s an appliance installer that works with The Monarchy’s Servants. Which that is the company that installs the stuff that comes out of Monarch Labs. there was also a whole bit where she and rimmy tim would be hanging out and he’d be joking like oh do you ever go in like “ah m’lord!! is this installation to your liking thank you m’lord!!” and she’d goof back if he ever had a house for her to install shit in she’d do it just for him.
and for how Jake and Rimmy tim met it was at 3am dennys a few years ago and they been buds ever since))
(R) - Jake's checking on her van later and Rimmy Tim comes out to give a hand - and he asks what happened and she's shaking a lil - she just leaves it as hero biz as usual she thinks (V) - bloody hell we have to help mogar! - yeah what did Mad King do to him! - they gotta bait and catch him (R) - Jake gets a call from xray and vav asking for help getting mogar to a lab - Rimmy Tim tags along and gets to see Mogar (M) - Xray and Vav catch mogar and have him leashed in the lab - But?? Is he dangerous?? Can he contaminate others??
(R) - This is wrong - RYAN is wrong - Rimmy Tim,, Has to do something - discussion doesnt work, Ryan's just a wall discussion wise - theres no talking him out of anything he's too absorbed (V) - Mogar has good moments - reference the rotten flesh test w vav (K) - Rimmy Tim is getting increasingly worried ab him - Rimmy Tim mentions Mogar - Well it wasn't on PURPOSE - but yeah i did that - No, I don't particularly know how to reverse it (R) - Rimmy Tim tries talking hey what if we just did this partner like - Nothing can beat the battle buddies then this can all be done right? - Mad King brushes him off and tells him to stay out of his business - Ryan gets caught in the rain - He claws Rimmy's face oh no! his money maker! - Rimmy Tim decides enough is enough and leaves to help Xray and Vav fix this,,, fix him,,, (V) - They hear Mad King in the rain - hhhhh i dont want to deal with more monsterrrrssss - Rimmy Tim joins the team! - he explains his history with Mad King - and how he's worried - wORRIED LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO MOGAR - He digs out the lesser power source that was used on Mogar - THIS made THAT *points at Mogar* (K) - Mad King is bandaged and goes to sleep off the pain and *emotions* (gross) of the evening - as he drifts off instead of dreaming he finds himself seeing through Jeremy's damaged eye - He just sees xray and vav but he cant hear a word - needless to say he feel betrayed
(Finale leadup)
- they need a plan to catch MK - Xray and Vav decide to drill RT ab possible weaknesses - he doesnt have much to contribute though they havent worked together in years and he didnt have all this magic junk going on. - and all RT's seen of the magic junk is teleporting - Well have you seen his hideout? can you explain like layout or whats going on there - oh fuck yeah i guess that is intel lemme sketch it out
- Hilda is playing around with whats the difference between the gem they stole from MK and the one that RT says changed Mogar - Mayhaps after some experimentation gone wrong she figures they cant use the thing against him but need a device that'll remove that specific energy - so you know a SUCKING machine - While she's working so closely with this she starts having enderhilda dreams but like when she's awake shes like yeah thats neat but you aint caught my interest you dumb gem
- Wait RT if you and MK used to be in cahoots do you have any powers that can beat him? - I got guns we were guns for hire you know battle buddies - wot MK doesnt use guns he plays mind games - well yeah NOW he does he uh-- didnt have it all together after our last mission
(flashback)
- Battle buddies are cleaning up after a mission - they're both pretty angry like we wound up being the bad guys AGAIN how does this keep happening - RT agrees he's not a fan of dirty cash - MK comes to the conclusion if i controlled these sheeple nobody would be calling my shots and makin me do the wrong thing - come on ryan ya cant control people thats wrong - whats a little more blood on my hands if it means making things better on the whole - and MK winds up leaving the battle buddies :C
(Finale)
- Hilda comes in like hey i got your guys's sucking machine go suck off mad king or whatever - and vavs like Alright! lets make a plan lads! - then we go to MK - he can see them coming, he's gotten practice watching through RT's eyes - he gets the machine from them as theyre barely through the door - "well I was curious what this would do but what does it matter anyways" - and he's got like some full ender shadow clones to help with the fight and they all pair off ((not like an army literally just enough to pair off MK dont need an army to beat these guys)) - the real MK personally faces off RT though :) - RT "why do i get the real ryan why couldnt you face off with like vav or something" - MK "im curious if you could shoot me 'buddy'" - RT "well I doubt i'll do something but i do owe you one ;)" and he do shoot him but yeah the bullets are stopped and do nothing - MK "I do hope you brought something else if youre turning against the MAD KING you have best be prepared" - RT "what can i say" [drops gun] "I stick to my guns" [throw punch]
- but yeah after the fighting and witty dialogue clears it looks like MK do have the upper hand - RT was left bleeding out ((stabbed through with pointy fingers oooo MK got his blood literally on his hands)) - While MK is monologuing RT sneaks into the bathroom which MK pauses mid monologue when he sees a flash of RT's bloody hand reaching for the showerhead - cant believe that fuck - and RT comes out and hoses him down ((yes it reaches that far LOOK its got a long hose)) - then MK's on the ground fucking sizzling - vav's like oh right! and jumps up to get the sucking machine and they use it on MK
(epilogue)
- Jake drops RT off where they got MK locked up and shes like "do what u gotta do man" and RT's like "thanks for understanding bud" - and he gets in MK shifts to look at him - RT starts to apologize for ruining his plan but gets interrupted as MK says "you were right" - which is a SHOCKING thing to hear from that guy - and mad king is like "thank you" - and we end on "anytime buddy."
so that was my plot I havent been kidding when I said it was a long comic plan. Its been heartbreaking to have this whole thing ripped from me but I can’t tell a story about friendship w a manipulator. 
I’m not sure how long it’ll be until I actually get another thing started but I hope its soon because I was very excited to share a good long story with the xray and vav fandom and I thought this plot wouldve been like a good season worth of content
I had some draws tagged under “#its all connected” and they were all me working on this idea before I actually decided to write it out and try for a whole comic after being inspired by some close friends and the good at being bad animation collab
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nevermindthewind · 5 years
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the beach house on crack: a love island au
alright lads so basically i’ve been binge watching love island and got to thinking about how jake and amy would be if they were in the villa bc you know it’d be spicy af so naturally i called up my resident brit @fourdrinkamy​ and the two of us wrote up some (4k words of) headcanons!!! If you dont watch love island then 1) culture yourself 2) it’s a british reality tv show that’s like a better version of the bachelor
“The premise of Love Island is simple. A group of attractive 20-somethings are made to couple up and share a bed—regardless of whether they have a romantic connection—in a villa on the Spanish island of Majorca. New cast members and challenges are introduced to make things difficult and they are made to recouple.” - time.com (oh + the winning couple gets £50k)
keep reading below the cut for some reality tv/brooklyn nine nine madness!!!
· so jake and amy are part of the original ten in the villa, obvs, along with charles, terry, gina, sharon and rosa and a few other randos who we don’t care about
· when jake comes in amy thinks he’s cute in a goofy sort of way but she doesn’t step forward (therefore admitting she would want to couple up with him) bc she wants to keep her options open and what not but jake thinks shes a BABE so he decides to couple with her anyway
She’s not mad about it though, he seems like a good time
charles choses rosa and she is Not Pleased bc he seems like a goober (he is)
Terry picks sharon and they become like the jack and dani of the season (kinda)
· Charles and jake instantly bond and have one of the best bromances in love island history
· Gina is the biggest pot stirrer the island’s ever seen and is constantly trying to get terry away from sharon but he doesn’t ever budge
· within the first few days its clear to amy they’re just gonna be buddies but that’s fine bc while he likes orange soda in his cereal and is possibly the messiest man she’s ever met he’s really funny and they’re really good at all the different competitions and she’s got the perfect wingman for when mr. right does come around!
· jake doesn’t mind either bc amy’s super chill and also wants to join the police academy so they can talk cop movies which is dope and also they smoke the competition when it comes to challenges
· Amy loves that they get given water bottles and forces Jake to drink it in its entirety x3 daily
· The first set of new guys/girls comes into the villa and while amy and jake both try neither of them feel anything so at the first recoupling Amy chooses to stay with jake so they both can stay and try to find someone
Rosa choses the new guy marcus much to charles’ disappointment
· jake gets everyone in the villa to start making title of your sex tape jokes and it becomes a running joke and the public gets it trending on twitter
· Over the course of the next week or so they have become each other’s best friend in the villa and often find themselves hanging out one on one even when they don’t have to, to the point where everyone else is questioning whether they actually like each other or not
· The islanders get a text from the producers (“I GOT A TEXT”) saying each couple has to pick two other couples they think are the least compatible and whoever has the most votes will get dumped from the villa, but even though jake and amy are in a friendship couple the rest of the couples think they have such good chemistry they don’t receive a single vote
· jake’s thinking the same thing and confides in charles after a few drinks and charles convinces him to say something to her
Charles is already a self-defined “melt” for jake & amy
THATS WHEN TEDDY COMES INTO THE ISLAND dun dun dun
Amy’s instantly drawn to teddy and everyone is excited bc she finally found someone she’s interested in
“He’s 100% my type on paper”
jake is genuinely happy for her ( “how do i look? Is this lipstick too much?” “you look great, ames”) but at the same time is a sad lil puppy
That night they recouple and amy chooses teddy and the public are sad bc jake and amy belong together!!!!!
Gina recouples with jake to keep him around bc she’s his mate le duh
amy’s all excited that night because she finally has someone to cuddle with but teddy just??? rolls over and goes to bed??? uh okay…
Also he snores. Big time.
Charles brings his sleep apnea machine and between that and teddy’s snores no one can sleep
On the brightside no one can hear the couples who are ~doing bits~
(A/N to clarify: in the villa, everyone sleeps in the same room which has six double beds & you share a bed with whoever you happen to be ‘coupled up’ with at the time)
· The jimmy jabs is totes one of the competitions they do and jake lets amy (and therefore teddy) win bc he knows how bad she wants it……and because he still likes her
· The heist, on the other hand, is something jake comes up with on his own and eventually everyone in the villa starts swiping things from each other
· Eventually this super hot girl sophia enters the villa and jake is SMITTEN
Jake in the interview room: “Looks like the gods have finally answered my prayers…”
iain the narrator: “Yes, the gods. Or, our producers wanted a bit of action so they asked our intern to find out your type.”
· Pimento enters the villa the same time as sophia and he and rosa are instantly drawn to each other and poor marcus doesnt stand a chance
They become co-presidents of the do bits society within like a day, even doing it in the middle of the day
Jake walks in on them doing it TWICE in one day and just silently backs out of the room, it’s not like he needed sun cream anyway
· sophia gets to pick two guys to take on a date and one of them is jake and amy is v jealous bc teddy is a dud (not that she’s going to admit that to anyone apart from in the talking head…just yet)
“I just don’t get what he sees in her honestly? Oh god…am i jealous of sophia?! Noooooo…”
Iain the narrator: “Yessssssss…”
· Amy’s been trying to get to know teddy, but it turns out the guy is a total snoozefest, which she tells gina and rosa one day while they’re getting ready
“All he ever talks about is pilsners. I dont even like pilsners!!!”
“Also, I dunno if you guys noticed this but the guy wears mesh underwear. Like why? Is it medical? How do you even ask that?!”
· Jake and sophia immediately hit it off and in the same episode it becomes v clear amy is over teddy and his lack of a personality
Theres a recoupling where boys pick and jake picks sophia and teddy picks amy but amy is Not Pleased
· A group of the islanders (led by Jake) creates a game where they take a shot every time Teddy chooses a pilsner to drink
charles is pissed by like six pm
· UH OH THERES A KISSING CHALLENGE
The islanders play snog marry pie, so basically the boys line up in a line and the girls pick a boy to make out with and one they’d want to marry (and one they want to throw a literal pie in their face)
Sophia snogs jake ofc and then says she’d marry some rando (again who we don’t care about)
Amy, however, chooses to marry teddy - “i’m marrying you because i think we’d have cute babies who would go to code camp” - AND KISSES JAKE. jake is surprised but also not upset?? And when amy pulls away jake seems to lean in for more!!!
Cut to sophia in the talking head like “HANG ON. why did she kiss jake and why did he look like he was going in for more???”
Sophia gets pissed off at jake who’s genuinely confused
“It was just a game??  Like i’dve kissed anyone bc that’s literally the game”
“Yes jake but you clearly went for more. And you didn’t have to slip your tongue into her mouth.”
Jake tries to clear his name but sophia’s not having it
“If you liked amy you should’ve just told me, not made out with her in front of me and the whole damn country”
She storms off after that leaving jake alone on the swinging couch
Cut to jake smiling in the talking head: “amy kissed me…”
NEXT TIME ON LOVE ISLAND…
Just kidding i don’t have enough follow through to make two posts so we’re just gonna do it all now
· After all that ~drama~ sophia goes to sleep on the couch but jake, ever the gentleman, tells her he’ll take the couch and she can sleep in the bed
Teddy and amy still share a bed…i mean it’s not like they cuddled before anyway…
· Everyone in the villa gives jake crap for his bedhead and amy crap for her old lady glasses
Jake def makes the glasses/penis comment and iain makes some snarky narrator remark
· Jake and Amy kinda dance around each other most of the day and then they hear Gina announce “I GOT A TEEEEEXXXXXT”
“Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose their partner. The remaining boy with be dumped from the villa immediately. #choosewisely”
Everyone in the villa immediately turns to jake and amy
· After a proper gassing up from gina, rosa, and charles jake finally goes over to amy
“Hey ames, can we go for a chat?”
Amy tucks her hair behind her ears as she gets up heheheh
Gina, rosa and charles don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re watching the entire conversation unfold from their spot on the day bed
· They go to the hanging couch (the best spot in the villa in my humble opinion) and jake finally tells her how he feels!!!!
“Look, i dont wanna be a jerk…I know you’re coupled up with teddy and it’s going really well. It’s just…”
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what’s going to happen at this recoupling and I think I’d be pissed with myself if I didn’t say this. I kinda wish something could happen between us…romantic stylez. And i know it probably will never happen because you’re happy in your couple but…”
· Before either of them can say anything more they’re cut off by terry announcing he has a text!!!
“Islanders, it is now time for the recoupling. Whichever boy is not chosen to recouple will be dumped from the villa immediately.”
Jake and amy just kinda stare at each other for a few seconds before amy finally gets up wordlessly and walks to the bonfire
· In classic love island fashion, amy has to choose her boy last, so it’s down to just teddy and jake. Whoever she doesn’t pick has to leave the villa.
Everyone, e v e r y o n e is visibly stressed. Charles is full on crying, and rosa is clutching pimento’s hand so hard it may or may not break by the end of the night
Teddy, god bless him, looks completely at ease. Jake keeps scratching the back of his neck and wringing his hands
· Finally amy takes a deep breath.  
“I chose this boy because…he makes me laugh. He’s a good friend, and he knows me better than anyone in the villa. Also – he’s probably gonna make fun of me for saying this – but he’s, like, really fit. I don’t know, I just would be so, so sad if he left the villa. And I want to give us a chance to go beyond friends.”
At this point the camera flips to jake who is giving her the smallest, sweetest smile and then to teddy who’s finally catching on.
“The boy I choose is…”
*dramatic-ass pause*
“Jake.”
· THE MUSIC SWELLS. JAKE WALKS OVER TO HER AND GIVES HER THE SWEETEST KISS. EVERYONE CRIES, EVEN ROSA.
Amy smiles as they pull apart.
“So, a lot of change around here, huh?”
He kisses her again. :’)
· The first night they sleep together they don’t kiss but they do spoon
Jake is almost always the little spoon and at first he gets crap from the other boys when they see this but he doesn’t care because being the little spoon is the best!!!!! He gets to wake up in amys arms like hellooooo
· Amy and jake are surprisingly affectionate??? Not in a weird way like charles and genevieve but amy just always seems to have a hand on his knee or what have you
For the record, amy was NEVER like that with teddy.
· Amy has a STRICT no-sex rule in the bedroom bc hello they are on national television her abuela could be watching!!!! + it would be super weird to do bits in the same room as charles…of course jake completely and utterly respects this and doesn’t even question it. If he has to go 6 weeks without sex even though he’s sharing a bed every night with the hottest girl he’s ever seen then so be it
· UNTIL it’s announced via text that The Hideaway (a private area/bedroom in the villa away from everyone else but still not the cameras Obviously this is love island) is open and the islanders get to choose a couple to stay there for the night. Having had to put up with their blossoming love and flirting 24 fucking 7 everyone else unanimously screams “jake and amy!!!! It has to be Jake and amy!!!!” and they just grin at each other
· The bed is so big and covered in rose petals & there happens to be a very handy bowl of condoms on the bedside table…at first they just talk about how nice it is to get some alone time and just hang out….which of course turns to kissing and then making out and then………under the covers they go (for those who don’t actually watch the show it’s literally like seeing sims wahooing but irl) (maybe we see a cheeky black and white shot of amy moaning)
· The next morning amy wakes up with the BIGGEST grin on her face and her hair all mussed, and she kisses jake awake “morning, baby” and he immediately pulls her into him and kisses her back
Jake’s talking head: “Last night? Last night was….it was amazing. Stupid good. That’s all I’m going to say.” our boy!!! Cannot!!! Stop smiling!!!!
· When they get back to the main villa they naturally segregate into boys and girls and the guys immediately ask jake “how was your night? Did you get any??” “oh my god, did you FRENCH???” “charles, no nothing happened”
· (in true Jamie style) he goes over to the day beds with amy and lets her cuddle into his chest and asks if it’s okay if he tells people what happened in the hideaway - he’s a gentleman!!! And he’s always going to respect her boundaries!! Amy tells him of course that’s okay, people are going to find out anyway and that it’s really sweet of him to check with her…and she laughs to herself when jake goes back over to the boys and she hears charles scream “I KNEW YOU WERE GLOWING”
· Rosa and Gina casually-but-not-so-subtly ask amy “so did you shag? Tell us everything” and amy just smiles….rosa and gina look at each other like noice, they’re so proud of her!!
Rosa later confides in amy “the amy i knew two weeks ago would nEver have done that with Teddy…i’m happy for you, santiago”
· CASA AMOR. the boys have to sneak out of the villa (jake goes into full on spy mode rolling around on the carpet) and get shipped off to a separate one that has 6 new girls in it and then 6 new boys enter the old villa to shake things up (reality television at its absolute FINEST YALL)…the producers’ twist? Fucking Constantine Kane gets put in the girls’ villa - amy’s eyes widen out of their sockets when she sees her most random ex enter. He of course is still so in love with her, or so he claims, and tells her how excited he is to couple up with her and share a bed and win her over and get married and have babies with her. Amy naturally is like no way jose and spends the entire time trying to avoid him (with the help of rosa) hiding everywhere she can fit and sleeping on the sofa at night (and, also naturally, she worries that Sophia 2.0 is with jake right now and she realises it kind of makes her sick to her stomach thinking about jake kissing another girl….maybe she likes him even more than she thought she did?)
· Just to mess with him, jake gets a text that has a photo of constantine trying to kiss amy and poor bb gets beside himself with worry…
Jake’s talking head: “I mean Amy can do whatever she wants, I’m obviously not going to stop her from being with another person - we’ve only known each other for what a month…” [he looks away from the camera and rubs his face with his hand] “But I really like her…so it just kinda…sucks.”
· OBVIOUSLY he has nothing to worry about and his face!!!!!!!!! Just lights up in relief!!!!! When amy walks back into the og villa during the Most Dramatic recoupling without bringing back anyone from the new one!!! She rushes over to him and cups his face with her hands and kisses him hard in front of everyone
· “I missed you, you know” “I missed you too” “Hey I have to ask…that guy you were with-” “You saw that?” “I got sent a photo…nothing…nothing happened between you, right?” “Yes - I mean no. Things did happen. In the past, on the outside. But I was young and I regret it so much - i tried to avoid him the entire time in casa amor. Honestly all I could think about was how much i wanted to be hanging out with you” “really?”  she moves to sit on his lap, wraps her arms around his next and kisses his cheek.  “the only person i want to be in this villa with is you” “i could say the same thing about you, ames” and then they get straight back to kissing :’)))
Iain: “nope, that’s definitely not a tear in my eye”
· One morning the islanders wake up to the delightful sound of babies screaming bc you guessed it!! baby challenge!!! (i.e. towards the end of the summer, the couples are given plastic babies and have to look after them for a day)
Amy is SO excited and throws the covers off running towards the cribs (after Charles and Genevieve) screaming - “We made a baby! Oh my god I have a baby!” leaving a half-awake dazed and confused jake still in bed
Jake & Rosa eventually bother getting out of their respective beds, definitely not as excited as the rest of the villa, but jake will admit his heart flutters a little seeing amy cradling a plastic baby to her chest so attentively
“Jake! Look we have a little girl!” “awww she looks just like you, Ames” “we have to name her” “Nakatomi” jake answers immediately, to which amy whines “jaaaake take it seriously! I’m not having a daughter called Nakatomi” “fine, i’ll compromise on Holly”
At first jake is a little apprehensive about having this new Responsibility (and he’s not about to blurt out all his dad issues on national television) and so he keeps his distance and mainly lets amy take care of their new offspring in the morning (“amessss why does it keep crying?” “i cannot Believe you would call our baby it, peralta!”) That is until the girls get sent off on a Mommy’s Lunch, turning the villa into daddy day care….
He knows how much Amy loves this little baby so he decides he is going to take this seriously and it doesn’t take long for him to realise that??? This is kinda fun??? He takes Holly on strolls in her buggy around the villa and plays with her in the pool with charles and terry and (tugging at the public’s heart) sits on a day bed with her and tells her just how awesome her mummy is
When amy gets back, her heart completely MELTS at the sight of her new bf with their little one……and they end up talking about how they’re the best parents in the entire villa nay the world (“our kid is WAY cuter than terry and sharon’s” “oh for SURE”) & then of course win the challenge
· For the Final Date extravaganza they go on a helicopter ride and ngl even Amy is beside herself with excitement…they’ve spent the last 6 weeks talking about their favourite action films etc. and now it’s like they’re in one! They definitely act like literal children/real cops pretending they’re on a manhunt for a fugitive (instead of appreciating the view like normal people)
They get treated to a romantic dinner afterwards followed by dancing with live musicians and that’s when they FINALLY say those 3 words to each other….(well 5 if you count “noice, smort”)
· AND THE WINNER IS…..jake and amy obviously this is a b99 x love island au :’) they’re so sweet and humble about it & amy makes jake promise on live national television that he’s not just going to spend all their cash prize on sneakers. They each end up with over a million followers on their instagrams, where they regularly post photos of each other on date night/ at premieres/ evenings at home…and also video sagas of them pranking each other which starts with amy pieing jake’s face unexpectedly and escalates into fake proposals and frozen shoes….and maybe some *light* tasering
· Of course they end up getting married for realz and a baby announcement follows not too long after that…they are utterly the nation’s sweethearts (and Charles keeps doing interviews to the press saying he’s the one who brought them together in the villa from the beginning)
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Homestuck Liveblog #186
UPDATE 186: Political Assassination
Last time John finally got that tooth off his chest, and Jake agreed to give his endorsement to Karkaroni. Now what will happen? Let’s see.
Has it been days since Jade has been sitting on that couch, levitating and with her eyes completely black? Given everything that has happened in the meantime it sure feels like it has. Roxy’s getting worried, she tried to call Rose but she didn’t respond, so instead he goes for the next option she has: Dave. Who immediately brags about working to stop Jane from screwing up everything. The words ‘neoliberal austerity measures’ are unsaid but they’re like an echo when Dave talks about the presidential campaign, I bet. He’s busy handling Jake’s endorsement speech.
ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things
ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap
ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro
‘one hell of a nap, davey, shes been blacked out for, like, a week’
It seems the troll candidate is more popular with the trolls and the carapacians than with the humans and consorts. How don’t they have more consort supporters? Hopefully Jake’s endorsement will change that.
ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this
ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him
DAVE: uh no
ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight
ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....
ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??
DAVE: thats weird
Well that makes clear what the best course of action is: don’t open the windows nor place her anywhere in the daylight. If Dirk’s advice will help with the exorcism she needs – to get Dead Calliope out – then it’s a bad idea. I’m enjoying this epilogue much more with Dead Calliope controlling the narrative, thanks.
It’s alarming Kanaya isn’t picking up either. Could Dirk have gotten rid of her? I sure hope not! Kanaya has done nothing wrong and deserves to stay alive, what with being the professional when it’s about troll reproduction. She better still be fine and kicking!
DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support
DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us
DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives
DAVE: so we gotta like
DAVE: concentrate here?????
DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives
DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)
ROXY: oh
They don’t do that, much to Jade’s disappointment, I bet. Either way, it’s speech time!
The struggle to take control of the narrative is a petty squabble, says Dirk, taking the high ground by offering Dead Calliope a way out. Buddy, pal, friend, you can’t take the high ground and then insinuate Calliope is ugly as sin. That is petty.
Apparently everybody thinks Dave loves Karkaroni, and although I believe that too, it’s fine if Dave never comes to terms to that. The guy marches at the beat of his own drum, he’ll be fine. This kind of thing can’t be forced on him. Speaking of things that can’t be forced, Roxy wants to know how Dave came out to everyone else as not straight. Oh dear, Roxy, I don’t think Dave ever did that. You’re asking the wrong person – unless you want the answer to be ‘deny it for like eight years now’.
He’s not really denying it right now, though. Maybe he did come out to the others and I didn’t find out until now. He’s not comfortable enough with rapping about ‘boning dudes’ in middle of a stadium where so many people can see him, but he’s not running away from the question. Way to go, Dave! I approve character growth!
Somehow Dave has this entire spiel about all the steps of admitting not being straight. On what phase are you, Dave? Inquiring minds want to know. I’d paste the entire thing here, because it’s pretty good stuff, but it’d feel like I’m applying filler for the sake of applying filler, so I won’t.
Dirk really doesn’t want a conversation about gender. Personally I have to agree because, even though this is great for development and I appreciate all of Dave’s steps, this is kind of a random place to shove this in. Pretty bad place, really. It’d have been great at a different moment.
Horrendously invasive of Roxy’s deepest personal thoughts.
...uh, Dirk, you know what else is horrendously invasive? Taking over the narration and manipulating people around. Also the assimilation plan, that’s more than horrendously invasive.
Okay, this is going for long enough.
DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?
DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to?
the prince is laboring under the delusion that he has been the least bit subtle in his intentions. he currently stands beneath the carapacian bell tower, poised to climb to the top. he holds the long, red sniper rifle that once belonged to roxy, brandishing it openly and boldly. he seems mysteriously oblivious to the fact that holding a long rifle in broad daylight somewhat tips one to the fact that he soon intends to shoot someone from a great distance. he also seems unaware of the fact that i know perfectly well that the top of this tower has a clear, long-range view of the stadium, allowing any competent sniper a clear shot of whoever happens to be standing at the podium as they give a speech. as jake english is about to do.
he also doesn’t seem to realize i have anticipated his attempt to assassinate his own friend in order to advance his political goals, and that i am prepared to take measures which make this impossible.
It really sounds like Dirk’s getting ready to shoot, he’s up at the right place and has a view of the stadium where Jake will be, but...I don’t know, ever since Roxy said Dirk messaged her about keeping Jade in the sunlight for ‘an exorcism’ I have been feeling uneasy, and now that this all was said just now, well, I kind of suspect Dirk may try to shoot and kill Jade. It sure would free her of Dead Calliope’s control and possibly give him back the control of the narrative. It’s a possibility, no?
Somehow the next few paragraphs resembles a schoolyard roleplaying fight. ‘You can’t reach the top of the stairs because...your feet feel really heavy’ ‘really? Then I can fly’ ‘and then the bell came crashing down on you!’ ‘I cut that stupid bell with my sword!’ ‘not fair!’ ‘yes fair!’.  It’s endearing in its own way.
DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?
DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”
no i don’t.
DIRK: Sure you do.
I’m having fun with this part, guys, I really am! This is great.
This is over when Dead Calliope, trying to stop the focus on Dirk and his increasingly petty narration, turns the attention back to Dave who must still be explaining to Roxy the intricacies of coming out to their friends. I see keeping a show in a standstill is a Strider family trait.
DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion
DAVE: theres lots of layers
DAVE: they suck on pizza
DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them
That has got to be the most contrived simile Dave has said in recent history.
Dirk continues saying very clearly he’s about to shoot Jake, and the more he states that so bluntly the more I suspect there’s something else going on.
‘Xenophobe’ and related words are starting to stop looking like a real word. It just has been said so many times.
Everything is making Dave feel like something’s wrong – undoubtedly Dead Calliope’s influence – so he gets in the path of any potential bullets, protecting Jake with his own body.
and despite dave’s quick and well-justified action, what is also unbeknownst to him is that the sniper no longer poses a threat of pulling that trigger. because everyone knows that for all of the prince’s shortcomings, he would never expose his beloved brother and son to the risk of a heroic death.
DIRK: You’re absolutely right.
DIRK: I would never do that.
DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.
I’m pretty willing to bet taking over Dave’s self doesn’t count as killing or hurting him, therefore it’s fair game. Dave would be pretty unhappy to know what Dirk’s doing, anyway. The narrative reveals what’s in the sniper rifle are not bullets, they’re tranquilizers. It’d be a non-fatal way of keeping someone out of the way for a while. The second thing Dead Calliope got wrong, though...
DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.
DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.
DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.
Well then! Turns out I may have been right about that he intends to shoot Jade. He must feel really confident about it if he can announce it aloud after aaaall the charades he did to fool Dead Calliope. Is it Jade, Dirk? Will you tranquilize Jade and pretty much put her to sleep – non-fatally?
Dirk spins in what must be the tiniest bell tower ever, given he only has to spin to change direction and be able to aim somewhere else, and gets ready to shoot. All Dead Calliope can do is freeze Dirk’s finger on the trigger, but he thought ahead and made the rifle to be voice-operated. All he has to do is say ‘fire’. Which he does! Game over for Dead Calliope?
Pretty good aim, hitting a vein from all this distance. Jade indeed has gotten tranquilized, and I’m pretty sure given this isn’t the first time Dirk uses tranquilizers – he uses them in TV – it shouldn’t be too hard for anyone to realize this is Dirk’s orangey shady hand making the moves.
The insult against Jade is uncalled for, Dirk. But yeah, the result of all this is that Dirk is once again back in control of the narrative, which makes me sigh with exasperation. I really liked Dead Calliope’s narration more than Dirk’s, so I’m not looking forward to this change.
Roxy drops to her knees by the couch, pulls the dart out of Jade’s neck, and tries to shake her awake. But it’s no use. That’s a heavy dose I gave her. Could be out for weeks. Maybe months? Can’t have any cherubs messing with my business on this planet. At least not until I’ve taken my leave. But Jade’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about that.
So...she’s pretty much in a coma. Could be worse, could be worse. She could be dead. This is barely better.
Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.
Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.
Now who’s hungry for meat?
Does that mean the candy epilogue is all Dead Calliope’s influence seeping through instead of Dirk’s? It could be interesting to see what kind of thing she does to the world. Although...given the effects of the trickster lollipop and how ‘sweetness beyond comprehension’ is perfection to them, it’s bound to be nightmarish. I’m actually looking forward to that!
Speaking of meat, holy shit. You just look more fucked up every time we come back to you, don’t you, John?
You’re a disgraceful mess right now. Covered in blood, mysteriously sticky, bruised all over your arms, legs, and neck. Terezi practically raked rows into your back. You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You’re kind of embarrassed by what a postcoital train wreck you look like when all she’s got is mussed hair. And you should be embarrassed. Seriously, it’s like you were mauled by a wild animal. Jesus, don’t either of you have any shame?
Ah. Okay then, good for them, although I’m pretty concerned. Such a physically intensive activity can’t be good for the guy with a gaping hole in the chest and the troll who still must be half-starved. I won’t be surprised if these two just pass out and die anytime soon. I’m not entirely sure, but it seems things are awkward now between these two. Maybe it was all a spur-of-the-moment move.
You sit together on the hatch, like when you first met up days ago. Terezi crawls into your arms, and nuzzles right up against your chest so you have no choice but to hold on to her. You would have done it anyway if she asked, because you’re a total sap. The kind of guy who no doubt thinks banging a girl in a car is some deep, soul-shattering experience that bonds you for life. Yeah, John, you do think that. You think that you and Terezi are basically married now.
I can’t tell if he really thinks that or if Dirk’s funneling those thoughts into him. The line between what the character feels and what Dirk wants them to feel is pretty blurry by now.
After all this, Terezi gives up on looking for Vriska, so this is a prime moment for her to fly by and find them. She doesn’t, though, and John proposes Terezi to go home with him. Can they even go home? John is so tired it’s possible they can’t – which he really should have thought about before doing said physically intensive activity. Nobody to blame but yourself, John. Seriously, you have an open wound and bled like four liters of blood. You’re as good as dead.
He feels the urge to lie down and sleep, which is a pretty bad idea given the situation. Terezi rouses him up, so instead he decides to give this a try and zap back home. Hmmmm...if he’s so tired right now, it’s possible the act of zapping home will drain whatever energy he has left, so I’m not...very optimistic about John’s chances of survival. Would this count as a heroic death? Can you die from a heroic death if you die like two weeks after the offending injury is made? If he dies from exertion after having sex with Terezi that doesn’t count as a death because having sex with Terezi is neither heroic nor just, no? Oh well.
Back in the stadium, the inexistent assassination attempt may have given Karkaroni a push in the polls, and Dirk spends quite a while brandishing Jake like a piece of meat. Really, can he be treated as more than a flat character whose only non-flat trait is his posterior? Jake’s nervous and fidgets around, so much Dave and Karkaroni show concern and offer to cancel the speech and/or the campaign. It seems our favorite presidential troll still doesn’t like the idea of having leadership, he’s ready to throw the towel anytime. Jake insists he can do it, so he starts!
I don’t remember Dirk being so outright antagonistic in Homestuck. It’s making me pretty uncomfortable, I have to admit. It feels kind of out of nowhere, just like Jane’s sudden xenophobic inclinations are. What was Hussie thinking when he wrote all this? What was his intention?
Jake’s getting pretty nervous and I can’t tell if he’s getting stage fright or if Dirk’s influencing him to be nervous. The latter is a possibility, no? Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what’s going on.
Why don’t you have a good, long think about that, Jake.
Is this really the time for a good, long think? Jake muses to himself, actually putting a finger to his chin like some public domain clip art picture of a befuddled guy. If the crowd is confused by his rapid-cycle mood changes, they don’t show it. Jake’s got a bit of a day-drinking problem, which has been slavishly documented in the global tabloids. That’s how you avoid responsibility, isn’t it, Jake? You can fool your fans, but not yourself. The truth is that there’s a canniness to the act. It’s partially cultivated. You’re stupid, but you’re not nearly as stupid as you pretend to be.
JAKE: What in the devil was i thinking coming here?
JAKE: Why did I...?
JAKE: I came here to...
... slide the biggest knife any motherfucker ever wielded directly into your friend Jane Crocker’s back?
She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. And you would have guiltlessly toyed with her “kettle drums” too had it not been for a bit of divine intervention, let’s decide to call it.
Sigh. That’s...that’s all I can do with all this. Sigh and keep reading. Third time I’m scrolling through the epilogue a tad faster than I should. It’s pretty much an entire page of gaslighting. Nothing really worth delving into, mainly because it’s pretty uncomfortable to read such a thing. Dirk’s being the abusive ex, pretty much. Nothing really worthwhile.
JAKE: I love dirk!
JAKE: IM IN *LOVE* WITH DIRK!!!
 And to love Dirk is to obey him.
You know, there are a few reasons why I’m thinking of liveblogging these epilogues. I’ll explain them later, but right now I may as well say a word of two: the epilogue is competently written. The events in it are interesting, and the interactions are raw and full of emotion. It’s all pretty unpleasant to read, which makes it a bit novel, like swallowing bitter medicine. It’s pretty good, in a technical way.
But it simply doesn’t work with Homestuck characters. It just doesn’t.
Anyway, let’s continue scrolling down to the end of the page and go to the next.
I was right in that zapping back to Earth C would take what was left of John’s energy. He barely can give three steps before he falls down, so it’s all up to Terezi now. She wants to bring John to Jane, so she can revive him. I don’t think she has revived him before, so it should be a good idea. It’d be better to bring Jane to John, though.
It doesn’t matter. This isn’t a wound you can recover from. It’s Game Over this time: no healing, no afterlife, no cosmic clock proclaiming your sacrifice as Heroic. The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.
Oh, nevermind, it’s something not even Jane with her life powers can fix. I wonder if, once John is erased, nobody will remember him. That’s what happens when there’s no place for you in a narrative, no? Hmmm...
John already know he’s irreversibly going to die, and tells Terezi not to waste her time, that he was dead the moment Lord English bit him. Which is true, given this poison. Then he says he was dead the moment he woke up that morning, which...I suppose is the depression talking.
You died the moment you made the decision to go meet your destiny. You would have lived if you made the other decision, under a certain definition of the word “living.” You might have even lived until the end of your immortal life span, as shitty as that sounds.
So he’d have lived for the rest of his life if he had decided to do nothing. Makes sense. This may have been for the better, given Lord English needed to be defeated, so it’s time well-spent. It’s rather unfortunate it involves John’s death, but...in a way I saw this coming. Pretty tragic outcome, and given this epilogue has been chock-filled with a lot of tragedy and pessimistic scenarios, it only made sense this would happen.
It’s dying words time! Terezi is really affected because she really cares for John, and also they had a ‘emotionally significant sexual encounter’, so she’s even willing to listen to all the sappy stuff John will say in his deathbed. This is bound to be rather emotional! And the fact he can’t even think of something appropriate to say in his final moments is what makes it emotional because this isn’t how he imagined this would go. He can’t even think of quotes from his movies. Terezi offers to tell everyone John Egbert said some cool stuff in his final moments and make everybody believe it somehow, so instead John goes straight towards the sappy and tragic. There he goes!
JOHN: i think... i really lo—
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3
JOHN: i... r-really lov—
TEREZI: DONT YOU D4R3 FUCK1NG D13 ON M3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON!
TEREZI: 1 FORB1D 1T!!!
JOHN: but... i...
JOHN: i...
Then John dies in the middle of a love confession.
Love confession on the deathbed! It’s like this truly came from a movie, haha. Terezi is devastated, so much she can’t even bring herself to cry properly. Once she confirms he’s dead, she ponders what she should do now, alone in the world John wanted to bring her to. She doesn’t have anything else to do, so after a moment – and at Dirk’s behest – she takes John’s corpse in Dad Egbert’s wallet and starts walking.
It has been a month already. Jane won the election after what I figure was Jake’s endorsement speech for her, so that’s that. Terezi has been rather lost this whole month, and nobody has seen John Egbert – instead of saying he’s dead -- so I suppose she hasn’t told anyone he’s dead. Rose has been missing the entire time and Kanaya has been pushed around by Dirk’s machinations to keep him distracted while he keeps Rose locked away somewhere, both mentally and physically, I figure. All in all, it’s a pretty grim outlook for everybody in Homestuck. Also, Jade is still in coma. Terezi goes to visit her, perhaps to tell her what happened to John?
Dirk continues being so salty Roxy’s experimenting with her gender, apparently. Aren’t there a million other things to deal with, pal?
Roxy is very glad to see Terezi, and she takes Terezi thinking she’s Dave as a compliment. She also compliments Terezi, giving her some heartache because it makes her remember the time she spent with John. It may have been a few hours, apparently. Time works in mysterious ways up there in paradox space!
The reason Terezi is here is because she feels John would come here, and she’s right, I bet. John would want to check on Jade as much as he can, so now that she’s carrying John’s cadaver around, she feels she should handle this all herself. It’s also confirmed she hasn’t told anyone John is dead.
ROXY: back when jade first got all effed up callie saw somethin and it made them freak out
ROXY: it took me weeks to convince them that it was safe to come home
ROXY: but now we got the opposite problem and they arent leavin the house at all
ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls
TEREZI: WH4T?
ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise
ROXY: some of it is like
ROXY: weird and violent??
ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um
ROXY: nudity????
TEREZI: >:?
ROXY: yeah yikes
ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit
ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy
ROXY: so it was hard as hell to convince them to let me come see jade at all
ROXY: its like theyre traumatized
ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me
So the end result for Calliope is that she’s traumatized. Seeing a dead version of herself possessing Jade must have really rattled her. As I said, this is all pretty grim for everyone in Homestuck, goodness. Although...part of me wonders if her current state is partly because of Dirk’s influence. He’s petty enough to mess with the living Calliope’s head as a ‘take that’ for Dead Calliope.
Someone tries to contact Terezi through her phone, she’s not sure who it’d be. Perhaps Dirk? He did show a preference to sending messages to his former friends and acquaintances. As if things weren’t awkward enough for Terezi, she’s asked if she knows what happened to John. Terezi, you can’t keep this under wraps forever. Sooner or later you have to tell everyone John died because of injuries in Lord English’s fight.
It seems Terezi can hear Dirk perfectly even when he’s talking in the narration, I suppose it’s because of her aspect. Oh, be careful with the stuff you say, Dirk! She’s also willing to whisper stuff to address Dirk, even if it gets odd looks from other people. On the other hand, this kind of leaves her more vulnerable to Dirk’s machinations, no? Part of manipulating people is responding to what they say, so with some luck this won’t go belly-up.
Once the conversation is over Roxy leaves and Dirk exposits Terezi still feels guilty about hiding John’s death from everyone, and she can’t even confide in Dave because of mistakes she did as a teenager in another timeline. It’s the curse of having the Mind aspect, isn’t it? Knowing what the choices cause. All of Dirk’s exposition bothers Terezi enough for her to tell him to scram, and he refuses to do so.
Come on, Terezi. You don’t belong here. You know you don’t belong here.
Do you feel threatened by Terezi, Dirk? Is that why you’re trying to push her away? I don’t think Terezi has anything that could be particularly useful against Dirk’s plans, so I’m not sure why he’s bothering to mess with her like this. She even points out they barely have crossed words.
Okay, I believe he feels threatened by her in some manner because he tries to convince her to join him in...some place. More like he wants her out of Earth C. He even offers to let her take John with her, which is why I’m sure he made her pick up the corpse, so he could manipulate her by using John. He finally leaves her alone with her thoughts, sure he managed to convince her enough. We’ll see.
Stopping for now!
Next time: next update
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bladekindeyewear · 5 years
Text
Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18
==>
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Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18.  We’re with Jane... that might not be good.  Especially given Lollipop proximity.
Jane scoffing at troll genocide again.  :(
Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.
GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?
Pfffff
Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.
I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.
It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation?  Are they black with each other or something??
What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.
Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah
GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.
Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon
or anyone for that matter
JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.
....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this.  Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.
Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:
Oh god they named the baby Tavros.
Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really.  I can see why they singled out page 18.  I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.
HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!
Eeeeuugh
JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world
God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????
You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.
JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly
Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this.  This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:
jesus
D: D: D:
This... is actually making my stomach roil again????
like
not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with
FAN SCENARIOS
ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole
but once its CANON????????   D: D: D:
suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation.  Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.”  D:
andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY
Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER
AAAAAAAA  D’:
i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me
Rose surrogate?
JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!
Pffffff.  Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here.  I should... TRY to lighten up about this.  Try.  D:
(...wait, shit.  Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page.  God damnit.)
[[ EDIT:  askshenhibiki said:
Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.
Ah, let’s see...
ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........
Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.
...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]
Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario.  I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this.  Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?
==>
Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.
Oh wow, John went for the mustache.  Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?
Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.
D:  D:  D:
Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?
KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.
It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!!  What the hell! >:(
Is this about politics?  Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever??  Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.
Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.
KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.
Yep, that triangle’s fucked.  Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...
...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.
JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave
She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.
Oh SHIT.  Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???
Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.
There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.
JADE: its... JADE: ME???
Okay what the FUCK.  It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all.  Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole
I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience.  But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??
And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either.  Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript.  Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation?  Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her.  Never mind.  Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.
Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW
==>
Page 20...
Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.
Hm... same stupid tooth poison?  No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole.  Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.
Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center?  That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.
ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao
ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE.  WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.
And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.
Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?
ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok
ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE
ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.
JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?
Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(
ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!
I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit...  And, I mean, what the hell could she even do??  It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.
==>
She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.
Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers.  I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.
What is with people being bathed in light here?
each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.
Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.
Uhhh.... huh.
So.
If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????
John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.
Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?
Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer
Pff
(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript.  Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party.  Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)
KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.
Pfffffffffff
The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.
Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of.  Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?
since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest
My damn god, people.
...alright finally, everyone’s talking.
JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.
JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD
CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.
...Huh.  Huuuuhh.  What the fuck is all this for.  Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?
Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots
okay there’s the labor going into good distraction
alright corpse get back up
JADE: i am not jade.
Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now?  To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business?  And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers?  And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage?  Huh.
The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.
Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD  D:
JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.
Well fuck.  So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something.  Relevant, possible, I dunno.
JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.
Okay that’s good.  So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved.  Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.
.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart.  Dammit.
==>
Terezi talk Terezi talk
-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --
TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.
Oh my GOD.  So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????
That’s pretty interesting!  Heck my stomach’s even calming down!
they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP
Yeah that’s pretty terrible!
...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge.  I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.
--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<
PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping.  That means things must be pretty fucking bad.
--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.
Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi.  Yep, that’s Gamzee.
GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...
Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.
Jesus.  Fucking.  Christ.
I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is.  Why would it be anything else.  I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.
The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.
Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey
ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet
ROXY.  WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO.  I MISS IT.  YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.
Touching photo.
Alright lemme post split.  I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.
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pesterloglog · 4 months
Text
Jake English, Tavrosprite, Jasprosesprite^2
Act 6, page 7810-7811
JAKE: Tavrosprite thank you for surreptitiously scooting away with me to my planet.
JAKE: I hope they all dont think me too much of a soggy knickerbocker for ducking off without making the rounds and saying goodbye.
JAKE: I just needed to get away and clear my head and i guess get my dander up for this great green man-fracas i am to solely contend with apparently??
JAKE: Say tavrosprite...
JAKE: Youll help me with out this impending pugilism wont you?
TAVROSPRITE: oH, yEAH!
TAVROSPRITE: i'M DEFINITELY READY, tO BRING THE SICK FIRE, tO
TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE GUYS ALLEGED TO BE INSIDE,,, aN ENCHANTED OVEN,
JAKE: Atta boy tavvy!!!
JAKE: Oops is it ok if i call you tavvy?
TAVROSPRITE: yES, i LOVE IT, }:)
JAKE: Actually wait.
JAKE: No i think i wont on second thought tavvy sounds fucking stupid.
TAVROSPRITE: yEAH, pROBABLY,
TAVROSPRITE: oKAY,
JAKE: So were agreed then.
JAKE: We wait here and limber up and flex our stupendous guns a bit then let sail our haymakers once the circus trundles into town.
TAVROSPRITE: i, pROBABLY UNDERSTOOD THAT REMARK, aND AGREE,
JAKE: I just wonder if theres anything else for me to DO aside from kiss my knuckles and lather them up with elbow grease.
JAKE: Turn my ten favorite boys out for a bracing constitutional you know?
TAVROSPRITE: ,,,,,nO,
JAKE: Should i be...
JAKE: SOUL SEARCHING or...
JAKE: Straining my brain to have some sort of magnificent epiphany about myself?
JAKE: Is this...
JAKE: Is this IT for me? Is this all there is to understand?
TAVROSPRITE: uM,,,
JAKE: Maybe theres only so much ragged wood a man can scrape from a barrels basement.
JAKE: Maybe sometimes a fellas gotta fess up to the fact that all there is to get about hims been firmly got already.
JAKE: Ive pretty much concluded that im a complete waste of everyones time if i bother busying their lives with my brand of beeswax and buffoonery.
JAKE: I settled square on the determination that i need to just be alone for most of my life and you know what im perfectly ok with that idea.
JAKE: Im just a lunk head and a loner and thats that.
JAKE: What else is there wonder about myself or my future except which face is most deserving of my fist?
TAVROSPRITE: sINCE YOU PUT EVERYTHING THAT WAY, aND SINCE SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO DISAGREE WITH A LOT OF CONSECUTIVE WORDS,
TAVROSPRITE: i THINK i AGREE WITH YOU,
TAVROSPRITE: mAYBE YOU'VE FIGURED OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT MATTERS,
TAVROSPRITE: tHAT WOULD BE AWESOME!, lET'S BOTH PUT EXTRA EFFORT INTO HOPING IT'S TRUE,
JAKE: Thats the ticket!
JAKE: I love my aspect it feels so empowering every time i want to feel like somethings real when tons of facts are missing.
JAKE: I really am a lucky son of a bitch arent i tavvy. Shit i mean tavrosprite. Blech what i bad nickname sorry!!!
JAKE: But yeah thats pretty much what the doctor ordered for old jake english. No romantic stuff. No platonic stuff either!
JAKE: Ill be like... Mr nonrom sansplat... Or... Oh horsenoodles there has to be terminology that more effectively consolidates my present understanding of myself into a coherent identity i can get enthusiastic about.
JAKE: Maybe the troll lingo has the answers. Or maybe im pioneering some sort of... shadow quadrant system?? Ooh lordy wouldnt that be a swift kick in the netherdumplings.
JAKE: What do you think tavvyboy should i take my idea to the troll patent office and make a mint?
TAVROSPRITE: i DON'T THINK WE HAVE A THING LIKE THAT,
TAVROSPRITE: aLSO,
TAVROSPRITE: aLL OF MY PEOPLE ARE EXTINCT, aND MY PLANET IS BADLY EXPLODED,
JAKE: Oh yeah.
JAKE: Heh oopsie.
TAVROSPRITE: bUT YEAH, tRAGEDY SITUATIONS NOT IN CONSIDERATION,,,
TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY,
TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS,
TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD,
TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES,
TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT,
TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN,
TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME,
TAVROSPRITE: bUT THEN, aLSO,
TAVROSPRITE: i REALLY DO ENJOY MAKING *NEW* FRIENDS,
TAVROSPRITE: aND EVEN THOUGH i DON'T HAVE MANY TALENTS OR BATTLE SKILLS, oR INTELLIGENCE, oR DISCERNIBLE POSITIVE QUALITIES,
TAVROSPRITE: oNE THING i THINK i'M GOOD AT THAT PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE,
TAVROSPRITE: iS MAKING NEW FRIENDS, wHO DON'T KNOW MY FLAWS YET, }:)
JAKE: Yeah...
JAKE: Yeah!
JAKE: Cheese and crackers tavvers what an inspirational little spiel that just was.
JAKE: Mayhaps youve more concealed talents than you let on??
TAVROSPRITE: nO, aBSOLUTELY NOT, bUT THANK YOU,
TAVROSPRITE: aAA,,
TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,, cHOO!
TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!,!
JAKE: Tavmeister are you ok?
TAVROSPRITE: aAACHOO!
TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOOOOOO,,,!
JAKE: Heavens to murgatroyd park tavenue whats the matter??
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TAVROSPRITE: aACHOO!
TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOO,!,
JAKE: Speak to me lobster tavioli!!!
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TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,,,,
TAVROSPRITE: cHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO, aCHOO, aCHOO!!!
JAKE: Ey! Rikki tikki tavi! Lay it on me bro... do you need to go to a hospital or what?!
JASPROSESPRITE^2: :3
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