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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 3 months

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I made a mistake last time, I said that I read chapters 22-30 when I only read 22-29, but now I have read chapter 30 and also chapters 31-34 so lets talk about those

Its so frustrating how Im more than halfway through this 700 page book thats ostensibly supposed to be about Feyre and Rhysand's complicated relationship developing and theres been no development because the things that should make their relationship complicated have just been completely handwaved. Like, if this book HAS to focus so much on Rhys to the detriment of Feyre, and he also just HAS to be morally good, atleast give him some kind of character arc of bettering himself, right now Im basically just looking at this stagnant statue of a guy through someone elses eyes which doesnt make for a rewarding reading experience

Ive also been noticing more and more weird retcons and idk what to call it, justifications for why Rhys is better even when hes doing the same shit as Tamlin I guess? The two big ones being, when Tamlin blew up that room after Feyre told him that he was suffocating her he did it out of anger, and, Feyre is fine with wearing dresses for the night court because she knows she can go back to wearing Illyrian leathers anytime, which is not how it was at the spring court.

First of all, I keep saying this, I am not a Tamlin girlie, I dont like him that much and hes doing a bad job dealing with Feyre, but you dont need to make shit up to make Feyre's choice to leave feel justified. Like, he was not punching the walls in anger, he felt so bad and guilty about hurting Feyre when all he wants is to keep her safe that his magic went haywire over it. And thats bad enough! I mean Feyre, who has a lot of trouble communicating her feelings, finally managed to tell him everything thats wrong and makes her feel bad and makes healing from her trauma difficult, and he reacts by basically having a panic attack which makes his magic react in a dangerous way. Idk about you, but I would not feel comfortable or even safe expressing my feelings to him, even if he didnt react like that out of anger

Like, Feylin could have just not worked out, it couldve just been disfunctional without being portrayed as abuse but it cant be, I guess because it needs to be abuse in order to justify Feyre leaving him. And thats so strange to me because the idea that women need any kind of ("serious") justification for leaving a relationship is completely anti-thetical to the themes of feminism and choice that this book is trying to go for. Like, why cant a woman just break up with a guy because she stopped feeling it, theres no reason not to break up with a guy who makes you feel bad even if hes not being outright abusive. Although, in this particular story there actually is a reason, which is that if Feyre left Tamlin without a "good" justification then Amarantha would win, she would be proven right about the fickle nature of humans and the pointlessness of their un-eternal love from beyond the grave and that would be a bummer because the first book is about how Love Conquers All, as is the case with pretty much all great romances. So Tamlin's unambigiously abusive now so that that beautiful idea of Love Conquering All doesnt end up being dragged through the dirt. ACOMAF essentially posits that the Love that was supposed to Conquer All isn't real because neither Feyre nor Tamlin were willing or able to truly love each other through their trauma, ergo it didnt actually Conquer All. Thats also why Rhysand isnt meaningfully affected by what should be traumatic events; because while Feyre can love someone through her own trauma, she cant seem love someone whos traumatized themself

I feel like the way I phrased that was pretty harsh, but I do think its kinda true, in a way. Idk man, the thing that makes talking about Feyre's new UTM trauma so difficult is that everyone, including the narrative itself, is expecting her to have worked through it within less than half a year when its like, shes immortal and also living in a world with no therapists, she can take a bit longer than that. I mean hell, everyone in the inner circle is like 500 years and all of their major traumata happened when they were very young and most of them have still not learned how to actually cope with them aside from killing/avoiding the people who caused it (atleast from what Ive seen, especially of Cassian), Feyre might honestly be doing better than all of them but she keeps dogging on herself which, remember, her perspective is objectively correct as of this book, so that sucks

Alright, three paragraphs to talk about that first point, lets move on to talking about the dress thing. I have already observed that it seems like Feyre might stop wearing pants entirely at some point despite how much this particular book keeps going on and on about Tamlin forcing her to wear dresses in conjunction with going on about Tamlin forcing her into a subserviant mother-role, implying that dresses are inherently depowering, and well. I hate that for Feyre but I do love being proved right

And like, okay, I think Feyre hating dresses is another ACOMAF retcon, but its a retcon in a weirdly circular way. Let me explain; in ACOTAR I didnt get the impression that she hated dresses, I thought she just preferred pants because its what she was used to and because for a pretty large chunk of the book she was thinking about fleeing or was in situations where she needed to run away from something and pants were just more practical for that. But when she trusted the fae a bit more and a special occasion came up or she wanted to make Tamlin feel flustered (? that one doesnt make that much sense to me tbh), she did ask for dresses to wear and only felt a little embarrassed about it because she didnt usually wear them. I didnt even get the impression that she hated the impractical rich noblewoman dress they put her in when she was sent back to the human world, just that she found it really silly and unfitting for her. And I do think her being willing to wear dresses was supposed to be a signifier of her healing journey and her learning how to be gentle and let herself be loved in that book

Then ACOMAF comes around and she suddenly hates wearing dresses, which also ties into her suddenly becoming some kind of adrenaline junkie when she previously wanted to live a peaceful and comfortable life. Now, granted, the difference is that in ACOTAR she wore dresses that she explicitly asked to wear, whereas in ACOMAF Tamlin just assumes that she will always wear dresses by virtue of her being a woman without asking Feyre about it at any point (I know Ianthe was actually more involved in the dress-stuff, but the narrative is making Tamlin responsible for it so Im just gonna go along with it for simplicity's sake). Thats reasonable enough

But then a little further into ACOMAF we have Rhysand doing the exact same thing, hes assuming that she will wear dresses for the sake of keeping up appearances and helping him with his politics (and also, he's assuming that she will let herself be sexualized via the apple-breast comment in front of Tarquin (and later the CoN-UTM reeanactment scene)) and hes right, because of course he is. But the reason its fine when Rhysand does it, I guess, is because he keeps reassuring her that she has a choice in these matters when she really doesnt. Like, did he pack some illyrian leathers just in case Feyre didnt want to wear the dresses he got her? If he did, theres been no mention of it. Theres also been no mention of him asking her if she preferred to wear pants or a dress for the Summer Court mission, even though it seems to me that harem pants are considered to be unisex in the Night Court while they seem to be considered distinctly masculine in places like the Spring Court

And then we get to the thing about this dress-stuff that makes me call it a 'weirdly circular retcon'; while Nuala is dressing Feyre up for her date with Tarquin, for lack of a better term, she looks at herself in the mirror and thinks about how maybe, after everything shes been through that forced her to become hard, shes starting to heal and can finally let herself be feminine and soft and pretty. If you'll recall from a few paragraphs ago, that already happened to Feyre in ACOTAR except it was more subtle, I dont remember her just straight-up thinking about it like she does in this scene in ACOMAF. So its the same thing, but instead of her wearing dresses that she excplicitly asked to wear, shes wearing dresses that her new bf picked out for her and all but made her wear

And honestly, thats a really good way of summarizing the differences between Feylin and Feysand and the way Feyre gets treated in these book, which is why I wrote so fucking much about this pretty insignificant detail

Surprisingly enough, Im not done with this monster of a post yet, because I have some stuff to say about the Summer Court

The way Cresseida was introduced and treated made me have what Im just gonna call an angry epiphany. Like, before she came along I just thought the feminism of this series was very shallow and very white, but after her introduction I was just angrily thinking to myself "How the FUCK is this series considered feminist in any way?! The three types of women that exist in this story are literally Protagonist's Sisters (characterized as Haughty Bitch and Infantilized Clueless Cinnamon Roll Who Can Do No Wrong respectively), Protagonist's Slaves Servants Who Are Inexplicably Always Darkskinned Women and Promiscuous Bitches"

Varian seemed fine, but I dont like that he seems to have something going on with Amren. I know I said I didnt particularly like her, but I did still kinda latch onto her as my aroace rep so I find that very disappointing. But I guess thats on me for having expectations like that of the most amatonormative book series Ive ever read

So, from observing this part of the fandom prior to reading the books, it seemed that if sjm critical people dont like Feylin, theyll usually like Feyquin as an alternative to the horrible but canon Feysand. Despite that, I didnt have the highest expectations because honestly, it not much harder for a character to be a better love interest than ACOTAR!Tamlin and Rhysand. Like, the thing about Tamlin is that he was a really boring guy but hes a very good love interest, and the thing about Rhysand is that hes also really boring and hes a very bad love interest, so I thought "okay, I know Tarquin is the youngest and he has that whole thing about actively wanting equality for faeries but no one taking him seriously because everyone thinks hes inexperienced, OBVIOUSLY hes more interesting than the guys who can access their power with no issue, and then he'll just be kinda flirty towards Feyre, as SJM MaLeS usually are and that makes him a decent enough potential love interest I guess" and thats all true but idk, actually reading about him made me like him sooooo much. Like, him and Feyre telling each other theyre easy to love? Mwah, gorgeous. I bet Rhys is really glad he has that mating bond because without it his sorry ass would NOT be able to compete with Tarquin

So now my list of m/f Feyre ships goes Feyquin > Feycien > Feylin and Feyre/Azriel are on about the same level to me I think > Feysand (not including feyssian bc I think its a crime to ship cassian with a woman sry)

I specify m/f Feyre ships because if I included all of the Feyre ships, Feyanthe would be at the very top followed by Feyre/Amren. Idk, I know its obscure, but when she was describing how Amren was wearing a crop top she said something like "a sliver of skin was left exposed, as tempting as a calm lake" and I was like oh? 👀 Those guys have potentialllllllll I mean who needs Mates when youre both Made amiright fellas. Also, Feyre/Mor would go above Feysand

Anyway, thats it from me again, I hope you enjoyed this

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

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sidesteppostinghours · 2 months

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Rolling in 10 hrs late but— 27, 28 Caine, 17, 34 for Cecilia? And B for all ur Steps, if you don’t mind :)

morning! thank you for the ask :D

27. What causes them to feel dread?

the fun thing about caine is that hes got really good instincts. its only heightened with hark (over 30 precog im p sure?) since hark encouraged him to listen to their gut. so if somethings about to go wrong, yeah, the dread is kicking in and theyre nope-ing the fuck out of there (the only exception to this is the casino scene). but there can also be false alarms if he disassociates hard enough, which is becoming more frequent lately. their paranoia+growing insomnia just adds to all of it. basically they just feel dread half the time,,, but also a more tangible thing that causes them to feel dread would probably be ortegas mind. if theyre in the wrong headspace, ortega brings back too many bad memories for them to feel safe.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

hmmm,,,, im not sure! it really depends on why the other person is lying about it ig, and how severe/urgent the unpleasant truth is. by default he tends to prefer the truth, but its mostly for informations sake. for example, with argent, they Really wouldve preferred not knowing what she was capable of. now that the cats out of the bag hes even more paranoid, especially since they have no information on her to use to protect himself. meanwhile, with the autopsy pics, they appreciated chen telling them what happened because it gave them a better idea of what happened while they were gone, and in their eyes chen had no obligation to tell them (plus they got some free bonus info about the kind of contacts chen has which is really useful too). basically, if he thinks he needs it to do things better or more efficiently, hell be ticked off about somebody withholding the truth from him, and vice versca if he thinks the lie would be more beneficial to him instead. either way though, theyre good at keeping their emotions in check, so hed be fine getting the unpleasant truth either way.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

nope! not at all. i mean, if she hyped herself up and managed to fail spectacularly, then yeah, i could see her getting majorly embarrassed. but thats p much one of the few situations i could imagine her feeling like that. ceci isnt known for shame– shes extremely blunt, to the point of being insensitive, and shes willing to do a lot for a quick kick. except,,,,,hmmmm,, argent making a comment or stealing a quick kiss when she didnt expect it and managing to fluster her,,,,,, please hold while i experience the visionsTM.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

oof. i think prehb the guilt of what she left behind was definitely there, but it got buried under the satisfaction of being free and having fun for once. nowadays, she still lives by those principles, that no matter what happened at least shes here now, but this time around theres an added layer of her actively trying to forget. if she does something she genuinely regrets, its still getting buried, but itll just claw right back to her in inopportune moments. most of the time though, guilt is getting tossed right back out the window so it doesnt disturb her happy fun loving times. no, ortega, no, finch, she is NOT repressing, she is simply being #goofysilly and will not stand for regret ruining her vibe.

B) What inspired you to create them?

speaking for my general process with all my steps: im rather predictable when creating characters. lots of them follow the same molds, they just tackle different storylines, and the differing plots are what makes them all different characters. so when making my steps, i ended up using those same character archetypes and taking them to their logical conclusions based on what choices the game offered. it makes it easier for me to imagine how they react, and its fun to tack on a slightly different trait to the mold and see what happens. ultimately, they all fall somewhere on the extreme ends of the "good/evil" spectrum, but with an added bit of ✨spice✨ from the other end to get them going into fully fledged characters. these are my inspiration/archetype for each individual step:

Caine- being an imported character for the exile if, i already had his character in mind when making him! in exile, they were very much meant to be the stoic leader character that was just beginning to doubt what he fought for. the problem when i tried to put them in fhr was. chen. chen i love you but holy shit it was so hard to make him unique and interesting when you were literally RIGHT THERE covering all the bases they were supposed to cover. and chen has a dog which made him obviously superior. it was annoying, but my frustration with their similarities pushed me to put a lot of love into them and well. look at where my son is now lmfao.

Cyrus- @ that one person who made that post about herald subverting the cinnamon role stereotype: thank you. i owe you my and my bastard sons life. cyrus was just meant to be a step i used to explore heralds ro route, so i didnt mean to take him too seriously. because of that, and because this was directly after caine and i was getting frustrated figuring them out, i kinda just went with the flow– he was originally a character closer to the "flirty and funny but actually competent and surprisingly apathetic" type. he used to have like. 50% ruthlessness lmfaoooo. a lot of his major character beats were caused by me making mistakes and figuring things out by clicking random choices out of curiosity. after i played him once, the higher ruthlessness route i went intrigued me, and i started tweaking him further, which is how we got here.

Cecilia- i! wanted! to! have! someone! fun! i wanted to have someone fun. i just wanted to have a step who would dick around and do stupid shit because they wanted to. she was my third step, both caine and cyrus were so serious, i needed somebody to juxtapose that. she was very much the "fuck around and find out" character. i created her to explore the lupin route, which seemed appropriate for the sort of character i wanted her to be. i also wanted to romance argent. it all just sort of culminated in a whirlwind of the most out there, daring step i had. it was only later i considered adding some more serious edges to her story, she was a bit like stress relief lol.

Cynthia- i created her with ortegas ro route in mind! even though caine was technically an ortega ro step, he was secretcrush so they couldnt really do much lmfao, so i was itching to play somebody whod actually pursue her. i chose the "calm, kind, do not burn down the house please and thank you" character for her since it seemed like fun to try with ortegas more out-there energy. i also had her as an anarchist, which i thought would be interesting to see play out since she was definitely on the more heroic end of the spectrum and i wanted to see how she would tackle one of the more destructive job choices. unfortunately, the kinder characters are almost always the hardest for me to work with, so it did take cynthia a while to find her footing. now, though, i think shes come together nicely! very much a balance of the nicer character i wanted for her originally while having that small kernel of "i can fuck things up if i wanted to" that i find more fun.

questions from here!

#i guess i DID end up answering those questions for caine #cecilia in particular is funny to me because like. yes my beautiful girl. go destroy your life for an adrenaline rush.#that is the normal way to respond to a lack of simulation. godspeed #i had to refrain from listing off other ocs i had that fit those specific archetypes whdjsjsjdjs #i have lots of beloved children ok. i need to figure them all out at a reasonable interval Somehow #that said. rip my other five steps #id say ill get to you someday but honestly. probably not lmfaooo #btw fun fact. the caine-cyrus-cecilia-cynthia order i always answer questions for them in is the order they were created in #caine lynzal #cyrus becker #cecilia rider #cynthia garcia #sidestep #fhr #pulp answers #ask game

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looking-cool-joker · 1 year

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I watched half of Skinamarink and I have a lot to say on it.

Can’t understand what is happening or what they are saying

11:36 Scenes last for too long without ANYTHING happening

11:56: Things seem to just happen for no reason or any way to understand what is happening

12:50 whos Kevin?? I think I only saw one child, so if theres two, why didn’t you show both???

14:18 Dark scenes and Hallways the movie :/

15:44 Weird suspense doesn’t make a movie scary, you need more than that.

17:44 Is the dad dead or??? They don’t explain anything!!! I’m almost twenty minutes in, give me something!!!!!!

20:30 Are the lights going to suddenly turn off?

20:39 Kinda

21:07 I get they’re kids, but why is the dialogue so spaced out :((

22:20 this really is the movie huh. re: 14:18

23:23: SOUNDS DON’T MAKE A MOVIE SCARY OR ENTICING, ITS JUST SOUNDS, DARK ROOMS AND HALLWAYS THE MOVIE.

24:25 Oh yeah, also “Dad” the movie

24:58 Left for an hour because I was tired of this movie, the entire screen is black, what is happening.

25:43 I’m getting tired of lights suddenly turning off and revealing a dark hallway

25:52: oh look actual people, haven’t seen that in a while.

26:16 Theres just audio from the TV playing as people go in and out of a dark room. How is this scary? Or honestly just enjoyable?

27:19 You can tell this movie was made in eight days (derogatory)

28:08 Alright, I’m tired of the audio being too quiet/incoherent so thank god for subtitles, secondly, “Why is mom crying?” Well why does this movie not explain anything

It is so infuriating, I get having a loose story but come on??? This movie sucks so badly, why was this even made I hate every second of this, its just nothing.

29:21 LOUD NOISES DON’T MAKE A MOVIE SCARY OH MY GOD STOP BEING QUIET AND THEN BE SO LOUD ITS NOT SCARY ITS ANNOYING.

32:36 LMAO THE TOILET JUST APPEARED AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. This movie is making me lose my head.

32:40 Nvm its gone again

32:49 I may sound like a broken record but theres just, not enough happening to justify long scenes. Dialogue is sparse, which could be an okay thing, when you are looking at either a white wall or a pitch black room, its just so slow. Two minutes feel like an hour, and whats worse is that the story is so hard to understand, it doesn’t even feel like a story.

Its just kids saying “Dad” or Kevin repeating Kaylees name, which maybe they will actually say something of importance, but its just tiring.

32:55: STOP HAVING JUMPSCARES THEY JUST FAIL AT SCARING ME.

34:08 And I’m tired of the grain effect, and I hate the static, it’d be fine IF SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE HEADACHE IM GETTING FROM HEARING IT

35:31 re: 32:55 and 29:21

38:20 dont you just love a dark room with someones legs being abled to be seen and thats just the scene, nothing more???

38:32 OH LOOKEE ANOTHER HALLWAY THATS DARK.

38:47 We all love a filtered voice :)

41:24 “I can’t see anything” Neither can I

43:33 I wish this was anything else, I would rather be watching Mandela Catalogue rn, at least its somewhat scary and I can parse whats happening.

45:56: It really isn’t a good sign that theres an hour of this movie left and I’m think about ditching it, this isn’t fun, this isn’t scary, this isn’t interesting. It sucks so badly, when I say I want to watch anything else I mean it. I WANT TO WATCH ALADDIN 2019 OVER THIS, THAT IS HOW BAD IT IS

47:20 re: 35:31

49:27 So whats with the dad, why should i care about the kids, why should I care about the mother. Why should I care about this movie? They don’t give me anything, stuff just happens, dad was there now hes not, kid fell down the stairs nvm he’s fine now, mom tells them to close their eyes she disappears.

What does it mean, I don’t think it means anything, I think this story is too vague, to a point where I don’t think there is one. Focusing on legos doesn’t help me parse anything. It doesn’t help. Looking at a TV playing old cartoons doesn’t give me anything, them moving a couch DOESNT GIVE ME ANYTHING.

I understand that abstract art is well.. Abstract, but this is just, pointless. There is no story, or at least they don’t want to show me the story, they want to show me kids calling out for their dad who may or may not be missing.

But thats the thing, I know nothing, BECAUSE THIS MOVIE TELLS ME NOTHING

The cinematography isn’t even good for crying out loud! Its boring, its the same five angles in different rooms. And again I’m tired of the static and the grain.

It feels like a worse P.T, but thats an insult to even compare it to a Hideo Kojima work.

51:41 This movie likes to pretend its building up suspense, but the suspense is “Whens the next loud noise” or possibly even “Whens the next the audio will cut out?” Its not scary, it’ll never be scary.

This is around half of the movie, It won’t get any better so I’ve heard and I hate it. I’m leaving it here. But I’ll watch the final scene

1:37:26 Finally they changed the color, instead of the color black its dark red, such an improvement :)

1:38:37 Pitch Black with a face in the static, vaguely creepy but, It just sucks because the rest sucks

1:38:45 “Go To Sleep” Shut up with your stupid Jeff The Killer cliches.

Final thoughts: Complete waste of my time and one of the worst movies I’ve watched. 0/10

#just rambling #skinamarink #i wish I never watched this

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sarcophagid · 1 year

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15, 34, 38, 41, 45 aaand 49?

hi qiiu ty for the ask :DDD

15 Top 3 side characters?

santana, trish una, diego brando (are the last 2 side characters idk)

34 A character you wish you got to see more of?

under the cut bcz it's rlly long and kind of unclear and stream of conciousness

oh omg theres a lot, i've been thinking abt part 5 recently tho so trish una. idk she just had a really important role in the plot and it was weird that she only got one scene where she was the main focus

(also the story from her pov must be insane bcz on top of the recent death of her only immediate family and the assassins dropping in left and right, bruno's team literally just dont tell her anything until several days in she learns that her long-lost father is the mafia time wizard).

anyways like, everyone in the main team gets a little flashback sequence Except for trish which annoys me sm bcz another VA character that i wish they included more was donatella una. like i said, trish's only family dies and they kinda gloss over the whole grieving thing. in the anime they show donatella's influenced some of trish's personality and she was a loving parent. but presumably, solido naso was still important to her, and would she ever reveal any of this to her daughter? i don't think trish has no preconceptions on who her father is and also there's likely a big difference between solido naso and diavolo in 2001.

bcz complaining aside i think an interesting scene is how in the elevator, trish worries about what her father is like and bruno tells her that everything is gonna be ok, knowing full well he's gearing up to kill his ass. one of the things that messes me up is that even though the main squad has good intentions or whatever - putting yourself in her shoes, could trish really trust them or are they just the lesser of 2 evils?

for the first half of the story, trish is in an incredibly confusing situation where people around her are violently murdering each other but she's important enough to be basically 'untouchable' (tangent- they do sort of treat trish as an 'innocent' the entire time, even after the big final fight giorno hides info from her and mista).

between those loyal to passione and la squadra, it was a 'race' to get to trish first (certainly not something she had a say in). the audience knows that while mafiosi are mafiosi, la squadra is definitely worse - but to an outsider it's one group of strange men or the other. you're saddled with one and you don't know what the other is like, they could be the 'good guys' or the 'bad guys', but chances are they're both pretty fucked up (we've seen bruno's team win every time but this also means that they brutally murder the opposition each time. trish doesn't know these people, or what warrants the ruthless protection). you can see her kinda voice her this uncertainty after bruno kills pesci, but it's just something i wish they touched upon more.

bcz it puts trish in a position where she's deeply alone - her mom is dead, she knows she's going to see a father she's never met, she's moved from place to place with little to no explanation by strangers locked in a bizarre war (bcz isn't it weird? "i dont know you but i'll kill and die for you"). and it's neat to think about how spice girl is one of the few stands that is sentient and can operate with a separate will, bcz yeah, there wasn't anyone else but herself.

i have a lot more thoughts on this but they aren't that clear bcz imo there also isn't that much detail on trish's shift into a more active role into the story, they sorta just decide "everybody friends now :)" without considering that trish's position is insane. but some idea's that've been rattling around is when trish is fully ready to kill diavolo (bcz. donatella knows solido naso, and donatella tells her daughter about the love of her life, and trish can wonder all this time, so out of all the strangers here, her father is a stranger she knows.)

ok thats enough, i'm super chill and normal abt all this 👍👍

38 Characters you wish could have interacted with each other?

while i don't think it fits in the actual story, i think it's an underrated idea in fan content, and i think abt pucci and diavolo interacting a lot, bcz at first it's like "religious guy and devil guy haha" but there's layers to this okay, like. the next thing is how pucci is a priest and diavolo was raised by a priest who he Does not like lol. but also also, in Over Heaven dio's like "idk who this diavolo kid is but we probably have gravity lol" meanwhile pucci also has a ton of gravity (whatever dio means by this shit idk) super important for the heaven plot, and also how pucci's whole thing is how fate is controlling everyone while diavolos whole thing is how fate is his bitch. and yeah they'd hate each other but idc if they'd hate each other i wanna see some blood. Kill!!

41 A relationship between two characters that you really like?

i liked a lot of the jojo&jobro dynamics in the later parts like josuke & okuyasu, hermes & jolyne, and gyro & johnny. also not to bring up trish again but trish and narancia.

45 Scariest/creepiest Jojo moment?

i wanna say nothing scared me thaaat much but i have an irrational fear of zombie type things, so limp bizkit kinda freaked me out with the way they showed sports max like, fully conscious as he became less and less 'human'.

49 If Jojo had a genre swap, what genre would you want it to be?

idk what exact genre this is but i liked the freaky goopy fleshy horror they had going on with the pillar men's biology (the only enjoyable thing abt battle tendency for me :/)

#momentarily overtaken by the demons halfway thru #i sware i do not make up that much shit abt trish *pushes isaac and abraham parallel under the table*#ask #macabre changeling #misc and non art tag #also i might like santana just bcz i like goop and killing. whatever. beat me take my blood etc

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sleevesareforlosers · 1 year

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hi danny!!!!

one thing im SO excited about for next year is seeing the eagles!!! ough feburary come faster….. and one thing im for sure bringing into 2023 is more reading!! been going to the library so fucking much (like. 3 times a month or more) and checking out like 5 books a visit (even if a lot of them dont get read/finished because i forget fhksbdjn) local library my beloved <3

rn the weather is SO awesome ough its been in the 30s-50s and not too windy (VERY foggy too literally i feel like in fucking silent hill sometimes) and its so good im flourishing. and getting made fun of by my boss. coworkers because i show up to work at 8am in a tank and shorts when its 34 degrees out because im a freak <3 i love wintertime soooo much its the best

if i could be anywhere i would be at the beach i think! i miss it and its esp beautiful this time of year. specifically half moon bay mayhaps. i grew up going theres soo so much and its one of my faves <3

tbh im like 50/50 on re-consume vs finding new. i tend to say within what i love more often then not but Sometimes u just need to sink ur teeth into something new yknow? so ill go thru phases of consuming beloved things and then swing wildly into I Need New Material and then cycle back around. kind of like one of those giant fishing nets they use on fishing boats. im casting my proverbial net out to find new thing to store away in my Trusted and Beloved files <3

i hope ur having a nice day/night okay bye!!

hello jay!!! (i promise i started answering this last night but i got soooo distracted)

oh my god thats SO exciting i hope you have the BEST time!!!! ik u love the eagles and live music is ALWAYS so fun. february come faster indeed. and FUCK yeah thats so sick. love the library i should rlly go more often.... so sick that you go that much and get that many books! even if you dont read/finish em thats awesome

omg. okay i cant like FULLY judge you bc ive been running errands in flip flops (until we got like. two feet of snow in a day and a half) but shorts... and a tank top.... when its 34 out. o7 you're stronger than i could ever be

oughhhh yes god. the beach. oh i need to swim again ur so right. ALSO i looked up half moon bay and its SO pretty hello?? now *I* wanna go there

I feel like i should've seen this kind of answer coming bc like. yeah literally fair enough. i love your phrasing here though. hope you pull up some fun new thing to enjoy in your net, wrigglin and thrashing around

i AM having a good (morning now) i hope you have a great day!!!

#discussion group #cozygarfield

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snickiebear · 3 years

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yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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babysizedfics · 3 years

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i dislike mondays. ugh. but because monday is piano day i wanna know do any of the sides play an instrument?? & how did they react when virgil showed up, how long did it take for them to become comfortable? -🌙

i cant think of the instruments atm hshshhs i dont wanna mix concepts

how the light sides reacted when virgil showed up and how they decided virgil could move in permanently

TWs: angst (hurt/comfort style), anxiety attack mentioned, mention of abuse (in mentioning that this is NOT abuse)

virgil arrived trembling very late on an autumn night

logan was already asleep and roman was in his room doing something, only patton heard the gentle tentative knock on their front door

when he pulled the door open, he saw what looked like a child with a large backpack hurrying away from the door, so he called out "excuse me? Did you knock?" and it isnt until the person freezes and turns around that patton realises it's virgil - one of the sides he hasnt actually seen in YEARS

virgil hugs himself tightly, scratching harshly at his hoodie sleeves, mouth opening and closing wordlessly, not able to speak to someone so unfamiliar

patton can see tear tracks on his cheeks

"hey, kiddo, do you wanna come inside?" patton asks very gently, holding the door open as wide as it will go and taking a step back to give virgil space

it takes a good few moments of virgils eyes darting between the door and pattons shoulder and the sidewalk behind him and his feet but eventually he tiptoes up to the house and hesitates a moment before stepping into the warmth

as he passes by patton is reminded of how young virgil is compared to all of them, he's so small, just above five foot patton reckons, with lanky legs and the slightest baby fat on his cheeks still - he's only 16 if patton remembers correctly. last time he saw virgil was when he was 10.

he's different sure, his hair is no longer white but dyed a dull black, hes taller and clearly wearing makeup - and either he lost his freckles or he owns very thick foundation - but patton recognises the tentative tiptoe walk and the way he looks at the ground and hugs himself. he's still the same vulnerable child patton wished he could have seen more of all those years ago were it not for janus distancing the dark sides from them all

virgil is shaking like a leaf and still hasnt spoken (patton has never heard him speak besides whispered one or two words phrases to janus when they used to all attend meetings together) but patton guides him through to the kitchen quietly and makes him some chamomile tea which he knows is meant to be good for anxiety

he doesnt get much of an idea of why virgil is there since he still hasnt spoken a word - patton doesnt know at this point that virgil is autistic or selectively mute - but he knows that there must be a reason that paranoia felt the safest place to be was a totally new environement. something must have happened at home

he doesnt actually ask virgil what happened, knowing if he wanted to say he would, and simply tells him that he is safe and nothing will hurt him here. its late, if he would like patton can drive him back ((virgil instantly goes wide eyed and teary and shakes his head and breathes faster - patton holds his hand up and gently continues)) but if not then he can stay the night and they can talk in the morning

theres no negative response to that so once virgil has finished with his tea (only drinking about a third of it) patton shows him to the spare room, points out where the bathroom is, and gets him settled

((continues below cut))

it isnt until the next morning at breakfast that patton informs logan and roman what happened and that virgil is still in the room upstairs. roman is completely offended that it happened without any prior warning, that an intruder snuck under his nose, and logan is merely shocked and curious as to what happened.

i wont develop on that first day much more at the moment - but essentially the sides can only be outside of their own abode for 7 days (rounded up to midnight on the last day). if they are in the OTHER house (subconscious or conscious) by the time that week is up, their function will adjust and be reassigned to that part of the mind

virgil stays for six days - after the second day he was comfortable enough around patton to speak to him if they were on their own, but not at length. mostly whispering and never more than a sentence at a time. he told patton that he had a fight with janus and that he didnt want to be in that house anymore but he didnt share any details.

patton didnt feel he NEEDED details. if virgil felt uncomfortable in that house he didnt see why virgil should be made to stay there.

roman refused to speak to virgil the entire time he stayed there

on the seventh day of virgil staying with them, logan tried to speak to him in the morning, explaining that he must go back to the other house before midnight, thats just how its meant to be. it triggered virgil to have an anxiety attack right there in the living room and logan very bewildered helped him get through it.

patton took virgil back up to the spare room and reassured him that if virgil didnt want to do something he didnt have to - that included living with the others. virgil whispered that this is how things are meant to be - repeating logans words - and patton was internally furious. he told virgil he would soeak to the other two

that evening in the last couple of hours before virgil is due to either go back or be destined to stay with them forever, patton has logan and roman sat in the kitchen and refuses to give up his case

i wrote this dialogue a few months ago but this is where it begins:

P: He's just a child!

R: He's hardly an innocent little lamb, Pat

P: Don't you two remember being 16? Roman when you were that young you were still in school, you still had braces

R, blushing: No need to reminsce...

P: Logan when you were sixteen he hadn't even been created yet, not for another year. You were still figuring out how the mindscape worked!

L: I... was it really so long ago?

P: And when I was sixteen Roman and-- they were still-- *sigh* We were all just children. We were confused and scared but at least we knew where we belonged.

L, gently: Patton. He belongs in the subconscious with the others

P: You're both ignoring the fact that the must be a reason why he doesn't want to be there anymore. Why he doesn't want to be with them

R, angry and ready to fight: Are you suggesting they abused him??

P: No!! No, he said thats not it--

L: The mindscape would have alerted us in some way. And we are all essentially facets of Thomas; even if we all behave differently and hold different values, it is not in any of our natures to be maliciously cruel.

R: then what did patton mean?

P: I mean you know what the others are like. How they behave, how they live. Virgil has been with us for six days now and I can't be the only one who's noticed how different he is from the rest of them. He's quiet and cautious and gentle. He's frightened

L: Janus and Remus are not above feeling fear

P: I know but... He obviously doesn't feel safe with them. He doesn't fit in there

R: Well he doesn't fit in here either!! We've already got our dynamic all worked out - The brains, the brawn, and the beauty! A fourth doesnt fit into that!

P: well then we'll adapt so he does fit in

R scoffs and storms toward the closed kitchen door

P: Roman, please--

R opens the door and everyone freezes to see Virgil stumble back from it, clearly having been listening to their conversation

P: Oh kiddo... We were just--

R, bitter: Eavesdropping, huh?

V remains silent and glares at romans feet, hugging himself tightly

R: see, paranoia can't even look me in the eyes! He's obviously up to--

V: virgil

R, shocked because its the first time he has heard V speak and its quiet: what?

V: n-not paranoia. virgil.

everyone is silent and V immediately regrets speaking. he turns and hurries back up to the spare room

L looks from where V ran away, back at P's dejected look, and nods to himself, taking a deep breath

R sees this and instantly knows what it means - Logan has made his mind up. and what he says goes

R, sarcastic: great

R storms out and runs up to his room, slamming the door hard enough for P and L to feel it rumble from downstairs

After a moment P starts to stand up to go check on R and V. Then L's hand stops him

L: He can stay

P looks at L, eyes full to the brim with tears, looking so so hopeful and relieved. he sinks back to his chair and takes L's hand tightly

P: really?!

L nods and pulls his hand from P's hold: Really. If the mindscape thought it necessary to Thomas' psyche it could have prevented Virgil from even finding his way here. But it didn't

P wipes at his eyes and smiles wobbily

L: And we do have a spare bedroom. Which honestly always baffled me, I didn't request it of the mindscape... I daresay this may be the exact reason we were equipped with a four-bedroom house

P gasps: You mean this was destiny??

L: That is a highly emotionally charged way of putting it. But yes quite possibly

P sniffles and instantly pulls Logan into a tight hug. L very awkwardly returns it, then pulls back

P: Logan thank you so SO much, you have no idea--

L: I have one condition though

P instantly nods and looks at L very intently with a big smile

L, hesitating: You need to inform Janus before midnight

P's smile drops. his eyes drift to the digital clock on the oven - 23:34

L: At exactly midnight the change will be made permanent. While this was within Virgil's right to have a say in the matter, Janus is still his legal guardian. He--

P: he deserves to know...

L, sympathetic: I can handle telling Roman and--

P, desperate: I want to tell Virgil!

L, smiling softly: as you wish

...

23:42

P holds the telephone to his ear and dials janus' number. It only rings once

J: Hello? Virgil??

P: It- It's Patton.

J: Is virgil still there??

P: yes he-

J: For goodness sake Patton, do you have any idea what day it is, what time it is!! He was only supposed to stay a few nights!

P: I--

J: are you dropping him off? Do I need to pick him up?? I'll get in the car right now

P: Janus, I'm sorry he-

J: is he hurt?!

P: No! No he's not hurt

J: Then why the hell isn't he back yet! You know we don't have much longer!!

P: Janus-

J: I swear to GOD if anythinf has happened to him-

P: he isnt coming back

J: ... what?

P: Virgil, um... He's staying here. For good

P: Janus, I--

*janus hangs up*

Patton stays frozen, hand over his mouth and eyes burning with unshed tears. he slowly lowers the phone back to the table, then sees movement in the corner of his eye. he gasps and quickly looks up.

virgil is standing just around the corner and jumps at pattons reaction, clearly highly strung. patton smiles reassuringly despite the tears in his eyes. "hey kiddo. sorry if i scared you"

virgil shrugs a little stiffly. it makes his backpack fall down his arm - and patton realises virgil has packed all his things in his bag again

"um.. do i- do i need to walk?" virgil asks, shaky and small

patton bites his lip and very slowly and carefully approaches virgil, stopping when virgil took a step back

"do you want to go back?" patton asks sincerely

virgil shakes his head immediately, strongly

patton nods to himself, but still prompts "are you completely sure?"

virgil slumps a little, voice even quieter. "i-i can go if you want"

"no" patton quickly says "no kiddo, i didnt mean that at all. youre allowed to stay if you want to"

virgil actually meets pattons eyes for the first time in his life - only for a second, but it blows patton away a little - "really??"

patton smiles sadly. "really really" then he turns serious. this is a serious matter after all. "but its permanent, okay? and if you change your mind or not thats completely fine but you have to do it in the next-" he checks his phone "-7 minutes so that I have enough time to drive you back"

virgil blinks hard and takes a big measured breath at that. he even sways a little and patton holds his arms out - not touching virgil but offering him something to hold if he needs to

virgil tentatively holds onto the sleeve of pattons fleece. "can, um... am i allowed to sit down?"

"of course, kiddo, come on" and patton leads him to the living room

they sit on the couch, just a couple of feet between them. by virgils doing - pat sat down first and let virgil sit wherever he pleased. when virgil didnt take the seat furthest and instead sat right next to pstton, the older side knew virgil must need comfort

and for the next few minutes virgil just sat and breathed a little too shallow and fast and looked at his phone every moment to check the time. it was the longest few minutes of either of their lives, sitting in silence and waiting for virgil to make up his mind

at least thats what patton thought, until he saw the time reading 23:58

it was well past the time they had to leave if they could get virgil back in time. virgil wasnt making up his mind - he was counting down the seconds until he was officially free from the subconscious

and then the clock hits midnight and virgil goes deadly tense and still, as if he's waiting for his phone to blow up in his face or something. neither of them moves or speaks, its been silent for minutes but this is deafening

but after a minute or two with no exploding phone or whatever else virgil expected, he breathes a big shaky sigh. he looks hesitantly up at patton, eyes falling just to the right of his head to avoid eye contact "is-is that it?"

patton nods slowly, a little stunned himself. "i guess so. do you feel any different?"

virgil blinks and frowns. then whispers "i'm... anxiety."

"you feel anxious?"

virgil picks at a loos thread on his ripped jeans. "y-yeah but... but my function"

"oh!" patton gasps, not knowing what else to say. he goes for reassurance. "well that's okay. whatever you are, you're still virgil."

"i... do i live here now?" virgil whispers, and the hope and relief in his voice is just too much for patton not to smile

"you live here now" he assures, feeling his heart swell when he sees the tiniest hint of a smile pull at virgils lips - the first sign of joy he's shown since being there

"can i please hug you virgil?" he asks

virgil hesitates, ducking his head a little, but then he nods very subtly.

patton carefully scooches closer on the couch and hunches down to wrap his arms around virgil firmly but softly. virgil is tense in his hold, so patton only hugs him for a brief moment before pulling away and smiling down at him

"welcome home kiddo" he whispers

...

so as you can see patton clearly warms up to virgil quickly - it doesnt take logan much longer though virgil is intimidated by him at first and they dont get very close for at least a year. roman hardly speaks to virgil for weeks, and beyond that their interactions are limited to arguments and insults for at least two years. it isnt until virgils third year living there when he helps roman realise he has undiagnosed adhd that they start to get along more, albeit reluctantly at first

i do know a lot more about this time period in the au (and some of it is written) so if you have more questions pls do ask!

#little/big concepts #little angst #asks #🌙 anon

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thoughts-on-music-tm · 3 years

Text

review of the album Sour by Olivia Rodrigo

This album sounds gloriously young. like, early-lorde/taylor-swift-young vibes. it feels weird to say that it makes me feel like i never got a chance to be young when i am still Very Young™️. The best parts of this album are easily great. brutal, jealousy, jealousy, and good 4 u are instant classics. i don't think i've heard as good an album opener as brutal in a long while. excellent way to introduce the albums themes and with a fan fricking enjoyable guitar riff that absolutely demands attention. jealousy, jealousy is high quality, the bass piano riff is neato and later one there's some like, kinda dissonant plonky bits high up? and while i don't really usually like piano led music, but this really works imo. the lyrics

I'm so sick of myself Rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else My jealousy, jealousy

are simply fantastic. as for drivers license, i'm not sure theres much for me to say that hasn't already been said, but it definitely has big Driving Ten Under The Speed Limit Cause Its 1:30 AM And No One Is Awake And You're Sad™️ vibes. its a good song yknow

lyrically, those three songs really are fantastic. And nows the point where i have to talk about happier. Its got this stanza which is legitimately amazing.

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best Really Say you love her, baby Just not like you love me And think of me fondly when your hand's around her I hope you're happy But don't be happier

it so perfectly captures that young, selfish, "yeah i want the best for you but seriously frick you". i cannot stress how great these lines are. they're also sung and timed just exquisitely.

but then she follows it up with "I'm selfish, I know / Can't let you go" and it kinda ruins it for me. the original part says that already, which makes it feel repetitive. this also makes it feel like a clarification, which like, who's gonna miss that meaning from the original stanza? honestly this one line holds this song back from being like, my second favorite on the album. where the youthful nature of the rest of the record enhances the experience, imo it makes this song (and a few others) seem a little unmatured, and not in the way that gives the rest of the album its charm. i have two other qualms with this album so i guess they go here in this review so bada bing bada boom. it felt like there was a fair bit of filler (looking at you, 1 step forward 3 steps back, enough for you, and favorite crime) which for a 34 minute album was Not Great. lastly, hope ur ok was an,, underwhelming album closer. it didn't really thematically tie anything together and kind of felt out of place, and sonically it didn't really leave me either wanting more or remembering the other songs fondly.

overall, i won't say its a very high quality album and i think thats kinda the point. its willing to make mistakes, its willing to be young. as much as i enjoy albums that are tightly polished, there's something about this records' earnest youthfulness that really hits different. at the best, it is like no other. at its worst, i probably won't remember it. really liked it. i'd recommend it. if your looking for similar music, i'd recommend XS and Paradisin by Rina Sawayama

#olivia rodrigo #sour album #album review

2 notes · View notes

lenniewip · 4 years

Text

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie…was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

#sterek #eternal sterek #what am i even doing?#i just spent the last two days writing this and banging my head against the wall and nothing else #should i write this into a full fic one day?#i probably wont #hope you guys enjoy #sterek drabble #5k words of them being idiots #i cut so much out how is this still 5k?#stiles stilinki #derek hale #laura is the only other character that makes an appearance #im supposed to be sleeping #but here we are ig #texting #wrong number #celebrity stiles

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okwilliamson · 4 years

Text

im back from the dead

i really wanted to answer some questions. and tumblr is the place to do that.

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

- for the most part i really do. I feel really lucky in that way, it obviously grows much more complex

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

- my mom :)

03: Do you regret anything?

- lots of things, idk i sometimes regret wearing one pair of glasses versus the other. i dont feel like regret has to be so devastating. however it really can be

04: Are you insecure?

- of course i am

05: What is your relationship status?

- im in the beginning of a crush with a very very very very cute boy. i dont wanna think too hard or it wont work out. im such a hopeless romantic and it goes against everything i stand for lol

06: How do you want to die?

- peacefully and riddled with student loan debt

07: What did you last eat?

- i ate half of a burrito that i had left over it was delish

08: Played any sports?

- big nope 09: Do you bite your nails?

- i do not, i do pick my nails and cuticles to death tho especially when im nervous

10: When was your last physical fight?

- i simply do not know. ive never been in a real fight

11: Do you like someone?

- i like so many people

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

- ummm no i dont think so, for sure more than 24 but not a whole two days. I get really bad headaches when i stay up for too long

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

- donald trump

14: Do you miss someone?

- i miss my sister, and bella

15: Have any pets?

- me and syd have a cat called connie, i also have a house cat at my parents house and a cat who just had to be put down when he got suddenly so sick.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

- apprehensive

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

- yes i have, many different bathrooms

18: Are you scared of spiders?

- umm not very much but i am scared of them generally. especially big ones

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

- i think i would be too tempted to make the same mistakes twice lol

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

- ummmmm, idk honestly i feel like i dont live in a situation where i need to snoop

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

- the weekend is just ending, I worked all weekend lol. Im off next saturday tho which will be nice. idk what im gonna do.

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

- ugh

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

- i have my ear lobes and both nostrils and thats it

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

- always english & art. Im bad at writing good papers tbh

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

- i think about the people from my past all the time, but i dont think i miss anyone that i couldnt get ahold of if i wanted to.

26: What are you craving right now?

- to have a boy play with my hair

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

- no i dont think i have. honestly

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

- yessirrr

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

- yes i have made a boy cry, long ago

30: What’s irritating you right now?

- umm miss rona, the way eveything seems lowkey pointless

31: Does somebody love you?

- so many people im lucky in that way

32: What is your favourite color?

- pink

33: Do you have trust issues?

- lol i am the queen of having trust issues

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

- tony probably, i dream about him all the time

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

- sydney, we really do be crying

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

- i be giving 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances dude

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

- i dont really do either if im honest

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

- ew no not at all

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

- i was 13!

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

- ummm yes i think so. I had sex in the woods once does that count.

51: Favourite food?

- chicken wings

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

- idk sometimes i want to think this and sometimes i just think i have bad luck

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

- texted a boy omg im a headass

54: Is cheating ever okay?

- if you have a cuck partner ?? theres a world of options. but in a closed relationship i would say no.

55: Are you mean?

- lowkey

56: How many people have you fist fought?

- maam

57: Do you believe in true love?

- i think so, maybe more in a platonic sense tho i have true love with my sister and syd and evie

58: Favourite weather?

- sunny early morning in summer, when theres a chill in the air

59: Do you like the snow?

- i love how it looks, but i hate driving in it, walking in it etc

60: Do you wanna get married?

- maybe idk

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

- sooo cute i melt for pet names

62: What makes you happy?

omg so many things!!! coffee, friendship, diet coke, sunshine, the color pink, my friends

63: Would you change your name?

- i used to really want to when i was young but i think im secure enough in myself now to just vibe, i like my name

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

- no the last person i kissed is a great kisser

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

- ummm laugh

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

- 100%

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

- this boyyyyy

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- idk me and syd be texting about our worst fears so, all my conversations are deep it seems like. 69: Do you believe in soulmates?

- yes yes yes theyre so real

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

my sister without a doubt

#personal #asks #thanks for tuning in all these years on my blog

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magioghvitetekopper · 3 years

Text

1. What’s your sexual orientation? Who even knows anymore. Straight, but bicurios? Idk

2. What are you obsessed with right now? A boy and crying

3. Ever done any drugs? No

4. What piercings do you want? Already have three, but maybe more in my ears idk

5. How many people have you kissed? Too many that didn’t mean anything, but also not many enough

6. Describe your dream home. A little farm on the country side

7. Who are you jealous of? Everyone who deals with life atm

8. What’s your favorite show to binge? Derry girls

9. Do you watch porn? Ofc

10. Do you have a secret sideblog? Nope

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? New zealand cause theres no corona there

12. What’s one of your fantasies? Being loved romantically like damn imagine that, such a turn on

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced? Got them pierced in october

14. How would you spend a million dollars? 1) a holiday when thats allowed, 2) an appartment 3) a new car

15. Are you in a relationship? HAHAH i don’t think I’ll ever be

16. Do you follow porn blogs? Nah, but they follow me

17. Are you angry with anyone right now? Myseeelf

18. What tattoos do you want? many cute small ones

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to? I have no idea

20. What is something you’re obsessed with? Theres always a boy isn’t. And music. And alcohol

21. Describe your best friend. My freaking lifesavers

22. Tag someone you think is hot. -

23. Who are five of your favorite books? I love every single Sophie Kinsella book

24. What are three places you want to travel? Iceland, Austria and South-Africa

25. Describe your perfect Friday night. Having some friends over, drinking some wine and just talking about everything and being happy

26. What’s your favorite season? Spring

27. What’s your pet peeve? Idk, a lot

28. Who is the funniest person you know? My bestfriend

29. What’s the most overrated movie? Avatar?

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. -

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better? Paper

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick? Harry potter

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? ugh idk, probably more fancier

34. What’s your coffee order? Moccha, cause I’m a child

35. Do you have a crush on anyone? Always

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes I don’t have an ex, and the only guy thats close to an ex was so damn toxic so nooo

37. Have any tattoos? I have four

38. Do you drink? yes

39. Are you a virgin? Nope

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals? Noo

41. How many followers do you have? 1258

42. Describe the hottest person you know. Well i don’t know him but Bill Skarsgård is the hottes person alive on this planet

43. What’s your guilty pleasure? Almost everything I do

44. Do you read erotica? Does fanfiction count?

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? Lol all I had with my “ex”, he was always on his phone and never showed me any attention so

46. How many people do you follow? 156 or something

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick? Bill Skarsgård, but again does Mackenzie count? Cause I would marry that guy

48. Describe your ideal partner. Funny, honest, knows how to communicate, has tattoos, like to cook, has good music taste, would like to travel, good-looking

49. Who do you text the most? My best friends

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather? When the sun is shining, but it’s not too hot - but like you can still wear a t-shirt but not melt

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ohimtherebabey · 4 years

Note

! all of the numbers of questions

first of all, i respect you so much. thank you. second of all, i have already answered 1, 5, 7, 11, 13, and 27 so i’m going to skip those here.

2. Favourite band? my chemical fucking romance!!!!

3. Any New Year's resolutions? ive been really trying to be like. outwardly emo and not be embarrassed by it. also, to go to more shows! which ive already achieved and its only march!

4. Favourite music video? helena or desolation row. king for a day is a contender.

6. Panic! At The Disco or Fall Out Boy? thats difficult. i would say fall out boy but they’re really close

8. Do you own a pair of fingerless gloves or skeleton gloves (or the combination)? no :(((( but i want some

9. Do you own any band merch? If so, from what bands? oh yea. ive got a metric fuckton of mcr merch. also concert shirts from panic! at the disco, bastille, the killers, and poppy

10. Got a jacket with pins? yes!!!

12. Any hair dying or haircut plans for 2020? i’m shaving my head tomorrow!!!

14. Killjoy name? i dont have one. i don’t really like danger days and the whole universe kind of intimidates me

15. Are you into The Used? yes!!! bert mccracken has done more for me than the armed forces

16. Do you want any tattoos? Of what? YES!!!!! i have a lot of mcr designs (as of right now, i’ve got designs for our lady of sorrows, vampires will never hurt you, bullets in general, helena, mama, early sunsets, and welcome to the black parade). also i want a haunted house and some bats and a really stupid t-bone steak that says “tell your boyfriend” to commemorate DONTTRUSTME by 3OH!3

17. Can you play any instruments? Which? yes! but none of them are instruments that i want to play. i have 15 years of classical piano training and 6 years of saxophone from high school band/marching band

18. Favourite My Chemical Romance song? demolition lovers

19. Do you think Twenty One Pilots are emo? i dont think im educated enough to pass judgement. i dont listen to twenty one pilots and i havent heard a song of theirs in honestly 5 years. just from first impression, i would say theyre more generic alternative than specifically emo.

20. Are you into Taking Back Sunday? not really. i’ll listen if its on, but i won’t seek them out

21. Do you wear any make up? only the shittiest smudged eyeliner in the world

22. Do you have black painted nails? yes! i just painted them 2 hours ago (im not allowed to have painted nails at work but im on spring break this week so theres no work)

23. Have you got any band posters? Of what bands? i have a few mcr posters, a panic! at the disco poster, a fall out boy poster, and a pierce the veil poster

24. Do you want any piercings? yes!!!!!! i already have my septum and several ear piercings, but i want at least one lip piercing, a nostril piercing, more ear piercings, maybe an eyebrow, my nipples. i want to stretch my lobes, too.

25. What's your opinion on All Time Low? Sleeping With Sirens? Pierce The Veil? i FUCK with pierce the veil. my second favorite band of all time (im listening to a flair for the dramatic as i answer these questions). i dont like sleeping with sirens but i thank kellen quinn for his services on king for a day. i fuck with all time low (predictably my favorite atl song is a love like war because vic features)

26. Do you think it's just a phase or that you'll be emo/punk\scene forever? i take being emo too seriously for it not to be permanent.

28. Are you into Black Veil Brides? not really, but i respect the fuck out of knives and pens

29. Do you like any newer emo/scene/punk bands? Which? i love love love destroy boys. also: currents.

30. What's your favourite music genre besides emo/punk\scene? either like. folksy alternative (hozier, florence + the machine) or old school country (johnny cash, dolly parton, marty robbins)

31. Are you into Mindless Self Indulgence? not really

32. Favourite Fall Out Boy song? golden

33. Are you mostly into the so-called "emo trinity" or "emo quartet" or do you listen to a lot of other bands too? most of my listening history is my chem + bands outside of the emo trinity/quartet. i dont really make a habit of listening to panic or fob, and never twenty one pilots. mostly its pierce the veil and bring me the horizon. a lot of evanescence, too.

34. What's your opinion on Waterparks? Palaye Royale? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME? i only know one song by waterparks, so i dont really have an opinion on their music, but awsten annoys me so much. ive dont know anything by palaye royale, so i cant pass judgement. idkhow is pretty good. i dont know too much by them but i liked what i did know. i think dallon did a great job at bringing back the weird stuff that made panic! so good

35. Are you into Bring Me The Horizon? YES. ive been nonstop listening to count your blessings for two weeks now.

36. Favourite solo project by a emo/scene\punk band member? i love all of frank’s solo projects (i go apeshit for leathermouth and death spells in particular). i love hesitant alien. also i’m really digging hayley william’s solo stuff so far

37. Are any of your friends IRL emo/scene\punk? no. and it makes me sad.

38. Are you into drawing? If so, show some of your art! only kind of and none of it is good. this is something i did based on a fragment of sappho last summer.

and here’s a quick thing i did for its not a fashion statement, it’s a deathwish

39. Favourite colours and colour schemes? im too much of a revenge fucker to not say black/gray/dark red

40. What are some of your favourite lyrics? a LOT of them are from selfish machines, just a warning. “i’m wanna hold your hand so tight, im gonna break my wrist” “i’d steal you flowers from the cemetery” “there’s no room in this hell, there’s no room in the next” “another knife in my hands, another stain that wont come off the sheets, clean me off, im so dirty babe” “decapitate her and bring her head to athena, unlike her sisters she aint no deathless God” “holding on to cold hands and sunken eyes hasnt held the same charm as it once did”

41. The Black Parade or Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge? this is such a difficult question for me. the demo lovers are everything to me, but, as i have said in the past: the black parade is the best album ever written. that doesnt mean its my chemical romance’s best album though. i’m going to say three cheers (that answer will change a thousand times).

42. What's your opinion on Paramore? Green Day? Blink-182? LOVE paramore. the riot! cd is a permanent fixture in my car. i fuck with older green day. like american idiot and dookie green day. i dont really care for blink-182

thank you again for the questions

#answered #sav speaks #my art #long post

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lasercruz · 4 years

Text

@quarterdollar fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call? No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1 .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔 i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding? yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery? dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile 😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting? its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

#ask #mine

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sims-psycho · 4 years

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Let's see... Basics for Andie, Personality for Maya, Physical for Alex, Environment for Luna and Misc for Billie! 😁💕

OKAY, so i realise you sent me this actual months ago, but i’m answering it now okay, ily (below the cut cuz it be looong)

What is their gender? Female

What is their sexuality? Gay

What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? Her father's brother was called Andrew and he wanted to honour him, therefore; Andie. She has a few nicknames, back home she got called ‘Little Fish’ a lot, but recently shes acquired the name ‘Siren’.

Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with? Kit is her only sibling, and even though she acts a lot younger than her age she’s actually older than him.....by about 10 minutes, and they’re really close

What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? She has fond memeories of her birth parents, although she visits them less and less now, secretly she doesn’t want them to see what she’s ‘become’. She is however incredibly close with her brother Kit, they argue and fight a lot but deep down it’s because of how strong their bond is

What would they give their life for? Literally anything. Being immortal means that you can ‘die’ for as many things/people as you want with no repercussions, which means for her at least giving her life for something isn’t as special or meaningful as it would be for a mortal.

Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? She’s single, although canonically within my story she’s also not (but I’m not going to give anything away cuz spoilers hehe)

What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Honestly, she doesn’t think about dying

What is their favourite colour? Favourite animal? Pastel pink and blue are her favourite colours; and she loves spiders and lizards

What are some of their talents/skills? She can surf, skate and ride a horse. She’s also a skilled fighter, and is pretty good at the guitar

If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? She doesn’t really think about stuff like this

How old are they? When is their birthday? Technically she’s 59 (her birthday is 7/6/1960) but she was turned by Erik in 1980 so physically she’s stuck as a 20 year old.

What do they do for fun? Literally, whatever they want, whenever they want. Mostly going out late at night, partying, feeding and being loud about it

What is their favourite food? How often do they get to eat it? Any kind of cookie dough, and she eats it all the time

What was something their parents taught them? Trust your gut instinct

Are they religious? No

Where were they born? Horrocks, WA

What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? She was raised speaking english and that’s the only language she’s fluent in. Over the years she’s picked up a few words and phrases in many different languages, but nothing significant enough to hold a conversation.

What is their occupation? It’s complicated, I guess the best way to desribe what she does is that she’s a glorified body guard/hit man

Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? No titles, but through her work she has aquirred the name ‘Siren’ which she kind of likes in a twisted way

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? Her determination and persistence

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality? Her paranoia

23. Do they get lonely easily? No, she likes being alone, and whenever she does get lonely she sits with Erik

24. Do you know their MBTI type? INTP

25. What is their biggest flaw? Her over-confidence

26. Are they aware of their flaws? Not really

27. What is their biggest strength? Manipulation

28. Are they aware of their strengths? Yes

29. How would they describe their own personality? Confident, Charismatic and Engaging

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? It depends on the situation, contray to popular belief, she’s fled more than she’s fought

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? In her own head she believes everything she does if for other people, but in reality she has tunnel vision for what she wants, and only what she wants

32. What is their self esteem like? Too high

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? Her biggest fear is probably losing control of everything around her, but she doesn’t ever see that happening so she doesn’t think about it facing it.....she probably should tho js......

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? Having the ability to make most people forget things whenever she wants means she has a very twisted definition of the word ‘trust’, but she’d only really trust Erik and Tegan with actual important things and her life, but doesn’t do that often

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? Exist in her life when she doesn’t want you too...

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. She has quite a sadistic and situational sense of humour, conventional jokes don’t really make her genuinely laugh

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? She can say it without meaning it very easily, but hasn’t said it sincersly in a long long time

38. What do others admire most about their personality? Her ability to apear calm in every situation

39. What does their happily ever after look like? She doesn’t really see her life ever getting to a point where she can settle, theres always going to be something else to do. She’ll only be happy once she owns the world

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? Erik is probably the only person she fully trusts, and it might be mutal, you’ll have to ask him

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? Surprisingly it’s actually quite soft and breathy, occassionally they’ll snort, but if something really makes them laugh they just roll around with their mouth open holding their stomach, although they don’t laugh a lot (unless they’re with Elliot, they make each other howl sometimes)

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? Their hair is about the only thing they actually like about themself physically

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? Everything else

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? No scars

45. How would they describe their own appearance? Edgy

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? They’re not very good at hiding their emotions, although they think they are. They tend to bottle things up and then they explode, and they’re not very good at talking about their feelings either, much too their friends annoyance

47. What’s their pain tolerance like? Very high

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? No tattoos yet, although they definitely want to get loads in the future

49. Do they have any piercings? They have 6 piercings in each ear, a lip piercing and also a nose piercing that they don’t wear anymore.

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? Kind of stoner grunge, Alex would probably just say a lot of black and band tees

51. What is their height? Weight? They’re 5′7, and I don’t know about weight

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? Very skinny, but deceptively strong, especially in their arms and legs

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? Dark brown hair, grey eyes and pale skin

54. What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? They’ve had short hair for as long as they can remember and never want it long, might dye it in the future but can’t decide on a colour

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? They have a pretty high tolerance, they’re basically the same drunk as sober, except they’re a little more open and extroverted, but only a little. They don’t get hangerovers

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) Most of the time they smell of hemp, because thats what their body wash is

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? They definitely more of a giver than a taker when it comes to sex, mostly because of their own body image issues, they’re not a virgin

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute? Probably their general sense of style

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? They mostly just look dead inside when they relax lol

60. Describe the way they sleep. They don’t really sleep, when they do they normally just crash in whatever position they’re in at the time

61. Which season is their favorite season? Summer

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? Never been betrayed

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile? She’s very easy to make smile, but just being around her friends makes her smile naturally

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? She doesn’t get cold often, but when she does it takes her forever to warm up. She overheats fairly regularly but never for very long at a time

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? She has a very strong immune system and doesn’t get sick very often, when she does tho she can be a bit of nightmare, especially due to her wanting to just get on with things even when she’s ill, so she gets grumpy when she’s forced to just lay in bed and recover.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there? She lives in Great Bear with her mum, dad and two younger sisters. She does like it, but also can’t wait to move out and experience more of the world, it’ll always be home to her though

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? Her room is incredibly neat, and so is the rest of the house seeing as her mother is also very organized

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality? She grew up in a very loving, but also very strict household. The rules have loosened as she’s got older, but because of this she holds herself to very high standards and has a strong worth ethic.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? Like I just said, both her parents were quite strict, but also really supportive and loving. They were always willing to talk through any issues and compromise where they could resulting in her being very understanding and mature. What also added to this was the fact that she has two younger sisters that she feels very protective over

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? She loves animals, her family have a little white cat called Beanie (Luna named her as a kid and she’s basically her cat tho)

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? She does like children and is good with them. She definitely wants some when she’s older, but not now.....

72. Would they rather have stability or comfort? Comfort

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? Outdoors

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? She loves sunny days with a nice cool breeze the most. Also snow, just not not for any extended amount of time cuz she gets sick of the cold real quick. She likes thunderstorms when she’s tucked up cozy inside

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? Probably just lots of little doodles, maybe a couple lists of different things and some dress designs

76. How organized are they? Extremely

77. What is their most prized possession? Either her moon necklace Kane gave her, or her first spellbook

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend? Kane

79. What is their economic situation? She still lives at home with her parents, so she doesn’t really have to worry about this stuff yet

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl? Morning person

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood? bothered by it yes, but also used to it

82. What is their handwriting like? curved and neat

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? She’s a pretty good swimmer, but only casually, she doesn’t do it much but enjoys it when she does, she has to be in the mood for it though

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best? Anger

85. Do they believe in ghosts? Yes

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? She’s very low key with celebrations, she only really spends it with their closest friends and family, normally doing something chill like going out for a nice meal. Sounds boring I know, but she’s very intoverted and doesn’t like being the centre of attention or being around lots of people so it’s an ideal way to celebrate to her

87. What is something they regret? She regrets not being honest with her mum about why she moved away, but she also can’t even begin to think about how to explain it to her

88. Do they have an accent? British northern accent, her official voice claim is Corinne Bailey Rae

89. What is their D&D alignment? Chaotic Good

90. Are they right or left handed? left handed

91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be?

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? “Yeah, I know she’s a bit of a bitch, but she knows she’s a bitch, and you kinda gotta respect that at least”

#andie #maya #alex shift #luna steel #billie #oc's #character development #ask #answer #reply #chuskasims #<333

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