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gloriafc · 4 years

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Amazing Wife

Jack never expected to let anyone close to his heart, until he met you. You had it the instant he laid his eyes on you.

You're a surgeon, a prodigy attending. You're friends with Miranda and Ben, when she was grumbling under her breath you asked her what was wrong, "Ben forgot to grab his lunch, so now I have to cancel my meeting to take it to him." "I can take it. My shift is almost over. I'm just finishing my paperwork."

You walked into the firehouse and Jack instantly walked over towards you with his charm on. "Can I help you with something?" "I'm just looking for Ben. He forgot his lunch." As soon as you finish your sentence Ben rounds the corner, "Prodigy! What brings you here?" You quickly toss the lunch box to him, "You stressing your wife out." Jack watches the two of you interact a little jealous of Ben for the moment. He instantly perks up when he hears Ben offer you a tour of the place, "Alright. I'll bite, only if theres coffee involved."

When you get to the end of the tour Ben shows you the kitchen where almost everyone is waiting for the girl they noticed instantly caught Jack's attention. They attempt to get to know you, not expecting you to be a super human. "Why does Ben call you prodigy?" "I sort of am. I specialize in multiple areas of surgery. Fetal, peds, gynecology, neuro, and plastics."

It takes Jack a few weeks of begging to get Ben to invite to one of their outings after work. Ben gets Miranda to agree to bring you drinking with everyone.

That night Jack manages to get your number, Ben eventually telling him he couldve just asked him for her number, "But what's the fun in that without the chase."

After a few months you begin dating. And Jack doesnt know how to explain it, but dating you is different than all the other woman hes dated before you. Eventually he figures it's because you're way out of his league, but soon realizes it's because you are different from ever single woman hes dated.

He can see how other men look at you, you're young and successful, and you're hot, what couldn't they want? And normally he'd get jealous but he trusts you with his life. The times he does get jealous or you look like you're getting uncomfortable he'll grab you by your hip and pull you close and he'll refuse to let you go for the rest of the night.

After a few years you get married and he finally knows what it's like to have a family of his own, even if it's just the two of you. You manage to talk him into considering getting a cat. And as much as he hates the idea, and hates how much the cat takes up all of your attention he'd get you another one if you asked.

After being married for two years you find out you're pregnant and at first Jack doesnt know how to feel, he doesnt want to end up like the parents hes never met. But you eventually ease him into the idea and then he couldn't be happier especially when you start to show. He's slightly upset he can't lay his head on your stomach as you watch tv anymore, but he's settled for drawing random shapes on your belly and watching the random movements from your child.

Jack is amazed when hes able to feel the baby kick. He goes as far as feeling it at least once a day minimum, if his hands could permanently stayon your stomach they would.

One day the two of you go separate ways, he heads off to work as you take advantage of your day off and decide to run some errands.

When he gets a call hes talking to Dean about random things like always. When they show up at the scene they get the rundown about the scene. "Three car accident, the last cars brakes failed as they were going down the hill. It rammed into the back of a parked car, that pushed it forward. There was a person walking between the second car and the one in front of it, squishing them." Jack looks at the scene and instantly recognizes your car as the one squished in the middle. Dean does as well and instantly tries to hold Jack back, "Jack you need to calm down." "CALM DOWN! THAT'S MY WIFE AND MY CHILD!" "Hey I get that. But the call says only one person was injured besides the driver." Jack freezes seeing you pop up on the side and start looking at the person stuck between the cars.

Before you realize what's happening you're trapped in two arms, and after a few seconds you realize its Jack from his cologne. You understand immediately what he was thinking and instantly start soothing him, "We're okay. I was inside using the bathroom when it happened okay?" After a few moments Jack's back in action. You get told to stay off to the side because of any fumes that may have been released from the cars. You watch everything happen until the person starts to seize.

You quickly grab a mask and a pair of gloves before climbing over your car and climbing behind the patient. "Y/N get down." "You're pregnant." "That's not safe." "Are any of you a neuro surgeon? This person will continue to seize unless you relieve the pressure in his head, can any of you do burr holes?" When no one answers you continue, "Then I suggest you listen to the pregnant person and get me a drill."

Ben assists you, being the only person with surgical experience, as you do the burr holes. Everyone watches you in amazement as the patient slowly stops to seize as the blood build up is released. You stay behind the person, using your lap as a head rest as they start to move the car off of him. Jack makes you take his jacket when they have to bring out the saw, which gets him scolded at but he could care less, as long as he's keeping you safe. Everyone listens as you talk to the person, keeping him calm. "You two must be married." "What makes you say that?" You laugh when Ben jokes, "Their playful banter?" The guy chuckles as he mindlessly stares at the trees around him, "That's how I was when my wife was pregnant with our first child." You keep the man talking when he sucks in a breath, "How many kids do you have?" "Four. How'd you learn to do that?"

You smile at the man who's referencing to the burr holes you did. "I'm a surgeon at Grey Sloan. Neuro is one of my practices. One of the first things I learned as an intern actually." "Just one of your practices?" You let out a chuckle, "I like working with kids, so I took up pediatrics, then came fetal because why wouldn't a pediatric surgeon know how to fix a baby while it's still in the womb. Then gynecology because I might as well know how to deliver a baby. And finally plastics. Youd be surprised how many kids go through plastic surgery, especially disabled kids." The guy looks at you surprised, the fact that hes literally in a sandwich completely forgotten, "What made you decide to do all that? How'd you manage that?" You chuckle, "Grey Sloan has an amazing program and I jumped at the opportunity. It's sort of what happens when you get told you'd never be able to do something amazing. You prove people wrong and you go above and beyond." "Who told you that?" You let out a chuckle, "An ex actually. My dad wasn't too happy about that one." "What'd he do?" "My mom had to pick him up from jail for smashing every single window on the guys car."

Jack jumps in, "Her moms the one to be scared of though." You let out a laugh as the guy says, "Its always the mom. My wife would murder for our kids." You let out a laugh making the guy smile.

You ride in the ambulance, being one of the only people who'd be able to stabilize the man if he were to start seizing again, and your ride home completely totaled now. When the guy is taken away for surgery Jack bugs Miranda until she agrees to look you over, "Jack I wasnt even in the accident." "You were near it, the fumes and stress cant be good for the baby." Bailey smiles as the two of you go back and forth, "Y/N just lay on the table. You're both stubborn and we'll be here all day if no one stops you two." You give in and lay on the table as she does an ultrasound, the rest of the firehouse watch from the window in amazement as they see the baby on the small screen and they all couldn't be happier that Jack finally got his own family while they also get a niece or nephew, neither of you telling them what you're having just yet.

When the fire station has to leave Miranda is the one who offers to take you home if you're willing to wait for thirty minutes. You make dinner, Jack getting home right on time then you both continue your nights like you usually do. When it's starting to get late you find Jack looking at his laptop, eyebrows furrowed. "What's got you thinking so hard over here?" You come up behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and resting your chin on his right shoulder. "Cars? Really?" "We're going to have to replace the one that got totaled today." "Not one with... Military grade metal? Why dont you just look for tanks on sale?" "You think they have room for carseats?" You hit his arm at his joke making him laugh.

You end up going past your due date, so now it's just a waiting game for you both. As Jack is getting ready to go into work, knowing he can't sit still at all, especiallywhen hes so anxious to meet his kid, he finds you in the kitchen hunched over with your eyes closed and face twisted in pain. He immediately starts to rush over but almost slips, he sees the puddle of water on the ground and looks around confused. When he sees the wet spot on your pants it hits him. "When did your water break? We need to get you to the hospital now." You let out a groan when he tries to help you stand up straight, "When you started coming down the stairs."

Jack helps you to the car, before starting to speed his way to the hospital. He calls Sullivan on the way there, "I wont be there today. Y/Ns water broke.... shit. I forgot the hospital bag." You smile in your seat and between breaths say, "It's fine. There's. One in. My locker. Bailey has one. In her. Office. Too."

Jo and Meredith are the ones to see you enter the hospital, both immediately knowing what's happening, "Jo page Carina and get the hospital bag from her locker. I'll take her to the delivery floor."

You're in labor for most of the day, your friends stop by through the day to check on you and give their congratulations. Jack is by your side the whole time, he's a nervous wreck honestly but hes managed to stay calm until you have to start pushing. By dinner time you've welcomed a baby boy, who has very healthy lungs. Your room is filled with balloons from your friends, as you both sit watching the sleeping boy.

Before the night can end you look at the doorway where the firehouse is standing with even more balloons, along with flowers and what smells like stew. "Hey." Dean is the first to push into the room, he quickly hands you the tupperware of stew before turning to his best friend, "Where is my nephew?"

Everyone gives their congratulations as your son is passed around, "What's his name?" Jack immediately says, "Jack jr." You simply roll your eyes and shake your head before looking at the boy who's now in your arms, "Its Jaxon. With an x. Cant let Jack's ego get too big now."

When everyone is gone and it's just your small family in the room you happily lay next to Jack, now able to press your face into his neck without a giant belly in the way. As you're falling asleep you hear Jack say, "Did we really have a baby today?" You smile and kiss his neck, "We became parents today. You became a dad." You chuckle when you hear Jack huff, "That's going to take some time to get used to." "You'll be fine. We have eighteen years to get it right."

#jack gibson #station 19 #station 19 imagine #jack gibson imagine

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shegoesbyarose · 5 years

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All I Ask

A/N: This is my take on Endgame Thor. Obviously, if you haven’t seen it, DO NOT read this. Really. You’ll spoil so much.

AGAIN, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ENDGAME!!!!!!!!!!!

Words: 3.5k

Weakly proofread

Pairing: Thor x Black!OC

Song Inspo: All I Ask by Adele

Warnings: Angst, PTSD, and other elements relating to mental health

TAGS: @kreolemami @letsshamelessqueen-m @marvelmaree @nina-sj @kpizzletrash

All I Ask

"How is he?"

Naomi stilled.

She hated that question. Absolutely loathed it. What was the reasoning for it? Really. She wanted to verbalize the mental question but decided against it and continued stirring the unblended coffee.

"How’s training?"

Sam sighed and leaned forward, elbows on the table. "I could ask you the same thing."

She rolled her eyes. "Don’t start."

"Naomi."

"I don’t want to argue with you, Sam."

"I don't want you to argue with me either. I just wanna have a discussion."

"A discussion that will, no doubt, end in an argument." She scoffed, bringing her coffee to her mouth before adding. "I can’t believe that you, of all people, are questioning why I’m doing this."

"Oh, I know the why. We all do. It’s the how."

She leaned back and narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"

The Avenger mimicked his baby sister’s motion and leaned forward, lowering his voice. "Helping me was one thing, Mimi-"

"Yeah, and I did it," she quickly countered. "Why is this any different?"

"Because the stakes are higher," he stressed. "We’re not talking about a Vet, sis. This is, hell, a god-"

"No," she shook her head. "This is a man in need of help. A man that I love and am not giving up on."

"No one says that you have to. We just want you to be careful. I want you to be careful."

She turned her head and chewed down on her lip. Sam meant well. She wouldn’t be sitting there if she thought otherwise. It’d always been in his nature to look after her. He was the stereotypical overprotective older brother who was still struggling to accept that his nearing 30 sister was no longer in need of his protection.

She was a grown woman, a former S.H.I.E.L.D agent who’d worked her way up to Level 7 clearance before the infamous collapse. She’d sparred with Natasha, fought alongside the same team her brother was a member of.

She was far from inexperienced from many things in life, and helping someone suffering from PTSD was no exception.

After all, she’d done it for him. When Sam returned from Afghanistan, he was a shell of himself. Haunted by the horrors of war and survivor’s guilt, nothing could have prepared Naomi for the blowback of the trauma her only sibling had faced.

Sleepless nights, episodes of screaming and nonsensical rambling, Sam was a far cry from the jokester she grew up with, but she fought with him, for him.

Every appointment, every therapeutic assignment, every counseling session, she was there every step of the way, determined to help him find his way back, and he did.

Few people knew about Sam’s darkest period, but Naomi did. All too well. She’d lived through it with him, and she’d been successful.

Just how she was going to be with-

"You should at least have some backup there with you-"

She impatiently tapped her natural nails against the wooden table. "Backup? I don't need backup, Sam. This isn't a mission, and I mean, Korg and Miek are there."

"What the hell are Rocky and Bullwinkle gonna do?"

"Sam!"

"Sorry." He lifted his hands. "I just want you to keep your options open."

"What options?"

"Have you thought about bringing somebody else in?"

"Somebody like who? No one else can get through to him like I can."

"Is that a hope or a fact?"

"What do you want from me? I can’t-" She turned her head and swallowed deeply. The sob in the back of her throat was desperately trying to push its way to the surface. "I won’t give up on him."

"I know you won’t," he sighed, his eyes filling with sadness. "But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t given up on himself."

••••

I understand Sam’s concern, and on one hand, I’m grateful. It’s nice having someone who cares. Or, rather, knowing that someone cares.

Naomi sighed, lifting her head and tapping the pen against the paper. The breeze swept past her body, splashing her curls against her face. The sound of seagulls and the gushing waves of the sea served as background noise for her journaling.

I know he still cares for me, that he loves me. I feel it. It's just, it’s hard for him to express it, and I don’t fault him. How can I? It may have only been a matter of minutes for me, but it was years for him. Five.

I’m trying to help him work through five years of marinated guilt and trauma, all of which he’s deeply suppressed and "treated" in a number of inappropriate ways.

"I’m going for a walk. Would you like to join me?" She already knew his answer, but that didn’t stop her from asking.

His eyes lit up for a second, and her hope lifted. Typically, he declined right away, but there was a brief second of contemplation, and she took it. Even the most minute signs of progress were worth acknowledging.

"No, that’s alright," he politely objected, chuckling awkwardly as he rubbed at his arm. "I-uh-should stick around in case the cable man shows up."

"Of course," she smiled softly, shrugging her cardigan over her tank. Naomi moved closer to him, taking note of how he swallowed as she placed her hand against his cheek, his untamed hair lightly scratching the inside of her palm. "Well, I won’t be long."

For a brief second, I thought about kissing him. I wanted to. God, I wanted to. It’s....hard. I crave intimacy, to be close to him, to be one with him again. Sleeping in separate rooms is hard enough. I suppose the intermittent distance between us should have helped, but there’s a difference between physical distance and emotional distance.

Everything happened so suddenly. One minute, she was in Wakanda, coming to consult with T’Challa, and the next, she was on a jet going to help rescue Wanda and Vision.

Naomi received a brief rundown from Nat. Something had attacked New York. Something not from Earth. Tony was unaccounted for, and Bruce, who’d been missing for years, called and said that they needed help.

Thanos, some extraterrestrial being, was apparently planning to attack earth. His endgame? To wipe out fifty percent of all living creatures. Obviously, there was no hesitation to suit up.

And then....the notification.

"Good to see you, Bruce," she shared, going for a hug when she felt him tense. "Everything alright?"

He looked down. "There’s-theres something I need to tell you. All of you."

She frowned. "What is it?"

He hesitated, causing Steve to speak up. "Banner?"

"It’s Thor."

Completely oblivious, Naomi’s eyes lit up. "Yes?" It’d been a few weeks since she’d spoken to him. He’s contacted her to inform her that Loki was apparently still alive and had banished Odin to earth, hence him being in New York. It was a brief conversation, but he’d promised to explain everything once he returned.

Except, he never did. However, it didn’t startle Naomi. She was used to him disappearing and coming back. It was just his thing. Hers too. Not many understood it, but they did, and that’s all that mattered.

"When Thanos attacked us-"

"Wait, you were with him? Thor?" Bruce reluctantly nodded as her frown deepened. "I don’t understand. Why isn’t he here then? You are."

"Heimdall, he-he helped me, well, the big guy, escape," he responded before adding on a quiet. "Before they killed him too."

She gasped. She’d met the gatekeeper a few times when Thor had taken her to his home, and each interaction was nothing but pleasant. Even more, she knew how close her boyfriend was to the kind man.

"It was bad, Naomi. We never saw it coming...he never saw it coming."

Her head snapped up. "Where is Thor, Bruce?" He looked down. "Bruce." She watched his eyes and his hand close.

"I’m sorry."

"No." She backed away, shaking her head. "No." As her back was toward everyone else and her normally acute awareness was nonexistent because of the growing ache in her chest, she jumped when Nat and Sam came on each side of her. "H-he’s not."

"We tried, Naomi. Thanos is just-he was too strong."

"Don’t tell me that," she croaked, hunching over as she placed one hand over her stomach, the other covering her mouth. "Oh, god."

Nat comfortingly squeezed her shoulder while Sam wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to console her.

I don’t like talking about those few days. Even with them being low in quantity, I’ve never experienced such heartache. Honestly, the only thing that kept me going was knowing that I had to finish what he started. I could not allow Thanos to win. This....this was personal.

And then, right when hope was all but gone, creatures clawing and attempting to ravage my battered body.

The kaleidoscope of colors, a flying ax, and.....restoration.

I almost didn’t recognize him. The haircut. Stormbreaker, the tree and raccoon on either side of him, but I knew. I just knew.

As the ground around us shook, I watched him shout his demand for Thanos, felt the intensity of the thunder, and gasped at the magnitude of his strength, his power, as he took down more enemies in a matter of seconds than we’d done in the near hour we’d been battling.

God, how I wanted to make my way through the fighting, to be in his warm embrace, but I knew that we had a job to finish. It could wait. At least, I tried to.

She’d impaled yet another creature and lifted her Wakandan staff to kill another when she was grabbed and lifted into the sky.

"What the hell, Sam!" She shouted at her brother, trying not to look down. She wasn’t a big fan of heights. "What are you-"

They lowered to the ground and he released her, Naomi almost stumbling from the drop when she heard-

"Noticed you’ve copied my beard."

Her head snapped up. "Thor."

How he heard her, she knew not, but when he turned around and their eyes met, her feet couldn’t carry her fast enough.

"You’re alive," she gasped, arms clasped around his neck as he held her up with one arm.

"You’re welcome!" Sam shouted, completely ignored by the couple, before flying back up.

He set her down on the ground, hand still on the small of her back. "I’m sor-" Before he could finish, she took her staff and hit him on the side of his armor. "What-"

"Don’t you ever scare me like that again!" She warned, hating that small smile on his face. "Do you have-"

Thor quickly pulled her into his side and lifted his ax, decapitating a monster.

"And what is th-why are your eyes two different-" she straightened her staff, killing the creature that was attempting to attack from behind. "I can’t deal with this right now."

When Naomi went to walk away, he easily grabbed her arm and pulled her back into him, stealing a kiss, all while lifting and lowering Stormbreaker to incinerate a squadron of outriders.

"I love you," he breathed as she carefully hid her smile at how he cupped her face with concern. "Be careful."

"Says the man walking around with an ax," she teased, forcing herself out of his grasp despite her desire to stay with him. "We’ll talk later."

"Is that what we call it now?"

"Hush," she laughed, walking away to join Nat and Okoye.

"Oh wait, love, this is a friend of mine, Tree!"

That was the last time I saw him. The next time we’d interact would be five years later, and nothing could have prepared me for what awaited.

It’s been difficult adjusting. When I was "snapped," it was 2018. I was in a serious relationship with a klutzy but lovable god while managing to stay under the radar because of my status as a wanted fugitive following the Sokovia Accords fallout.

Now, it’s 2023, and I no longer have to live in hiding, but my relationship...can I even still call it that? I’m not sure, but I will because while a lot has changed, my love has not.

My heart still beats for him. I lost my father. My mother. Now, my best friend, whose death I still haven’t truly accepted. I have Sam...and Thor. I’ve been given a second chance at life, a chance I will not take advantage of.

She’d just exited the shower, her plush towel wrapped around her nude, damp body, the silk wrap around her edges still secured around the perimeter of her head.

Walking over to the dresser, she started to dig around for a sports bra and biking shorts, her preferred sleeping attire.

"Dinner is almost-" Naomi turned around. Thor’s mismatched eyes started on her face but quickly trailed down her practically exposed figure.

The darkening of his irises sent tingles up her spine. She’d missed that, the hungry way he’d look at her right before throwing her on the nearest flat surface and making her scream his name until her throat was raw.

"I’m sorry-I should have-I’m so used to not having to," he nervously babbled, making his eyes look everywhere except at her. "Is the water hot? Perhaps I should take mine now."

"Perhaps I should have waited then."

Thor finally looked at her, Naomi naturally chewing on her bottom lip. She especially missed that.

He coughed awkwardly and tried to move back, accidentally knocking a picture frame over. "Yes, well, it, probably won’t be hot anymore-"

"I don’t think heat will be an issue." She was coming on strong, and it wasn’t intentional. Truly. But she’d been doing a hell of a job with acting as though she wasn’t craving intimacy. Not even sexual. Just laying in bed together, laughing, and discussing the most random of things, that closeness.

To be with someone and not be able to really be with them....it was brutal.

"I should-"

"Hey, uhh, Ms. Naomi," Korg yelled from downstairs. For some reason, he insisted on prefacing her name with a ‘ms’ despite her multiple attempts to get him to stop.

Walking over to the door, she purposely brushed her arm against Thor’s. "Yes?"

"Which one of heating boxes did you say we couldn’t put the foil aluminum in?"

She smiled and shook her head. "The small one, Korg."

"Cool. Thanks."

"You’re welcome," she shouted, angling her body so that she was leaning against the other side of the door, facing Thor. "What-"

"Naomi." The quietness in the way he said her voice caused her to straighten her shoulders. "You shouldn’t be here. This-this isn’t what you deserve."

"I’m where I want to be, Thor," she whispered. "With who I want to be with." A beat. "What about you? What about what you deserve?"

She had a feeling what his answer would be, but still, she wanted, needed to hear it. To see where his head was.

Starring at her, he replied with a low and solemn reply. "Not you."

Shaking her head, she stepped closer. Her hands went to his face. "You’re wrong," she murmured, eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "So, so wrong."

"Thor, I know that things are different. That time has not been kind to you, that it’s been much longer for you than it has for me, but I want, I need you to understand that I am just as madly in love with you now as I was then." She licked her lips, moving closer to him, her stomach fluttering when his right hand moved to her hip. "And I am here for you, okay? Whenever. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. You may not be human, but just like us mere midgardians, you had a breaking point, and that’s okay, Thor. We can get through it, together. I’m here for you. Always."

She saw it, the turmoil in his eyes. She felt the struggle between closing the gap between them or running away. His fingers flexed against the towel, unconsciously pulling on the material, dangerously close to causing the knot to become undone.

Naomi wanted with everything in her to rid them both of the turmoil, but she couldn’t. That would be selfish. This wasn’t about her or what she wanted. This was about him. She had to meet him where he was, and if he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. She couldn’t force it.

He closed his eyes. "Naomi, I-"

"Uhh, Ms. Naomi." Korg interrupted, clearly yelling from at the bottom of the steps.

Yet, she didn’t move, her eyes glued to Thor’s."Yes?"

"You wouldn’t happen to know where the fire extinguisher is, do you?"

Her mouth dropped. Didn’t she just...

"I should go help them," Thor cleared his throat, pulling away from her, the spy successfully hiding her pain at the separation. "I’ll-uh-yes." Without another word, he exited the room.

Sometimes, I do have moments where I wonder if I’m doing this for him or myself. I want to be with him. So, so, so much, and I just don’t want that to interfere with my desire to want to help him. I just have to wonder if I can do both.

It was late, the middle of the night when she felt someone over her. Sure enough, as soon as she opened her lids she saw Korg standing over her.

"Wh-"

"No."

Naomi instantly sat up as she heard his voice from down the hall.

"He’s doing it again," Korg informed as she kicked the blankets off and pushed the pillow away. The pillow that was a poor attempt at tricking her into thinking that she wasn’t sleeping alone.

"I’ve got it," she assured, not even bothering to slide on her slippers. "Go back to sleep."

Shuffling down the hall, she slowly pushed the cracked door open and allowed herself in. Sure enough, he was laying in the middle of the bed, twisting and turning.

"Loki, no."

Her stomach dropped. It was this nightmare again. No matter how many times Loki betrayed his brother, there was no doubt that Thor loved him, and seeing him be murdered was just another trauma on the list of heartache that consumed the Asgardian.

"Thor." Naomi moved closer to the bed, crawling on the side and lightly caressing his forehead. "Baby, it’s alright."

"I can save you," Thor murmured in his sleep, fisting the blankets.

"Thor," she raised her voice, moving one hand to his shoulder to try and shake him. "Baby-"

"NO!"

Years of intense training and countless near-death experiences taught Naomi the art of calmness, something that truly carried her at that moment.

In a matter of seconds, Thor was awake, his hand wrapped around her neck as he pinned her down, one hand outstretched as he summoned Stormbreaker.

Starring down at her, she watched him pant, his eyes blinking several times before his shoulders dropped. "Naomi…."

Instantly, he released her, Naomi naturally coughing from the deprivation of oxygen.

Thor stumbled back, falling off the bed, to which Naomi immediately responded.

"Hey," she whispered, still a bit hoarse but just as concerned not for herself, but for him. "It’s okay-"

"I’m sorry. I-I could have killed you," he spoke more to himself, and Naomi hated the absolute disgust she could plainly see he was feeling with his actions. "I didn’t-"

"I was a SHIELD agent for over ten years, Thor," she reminded, walking over to him and bending down as he threw his ax on the other side of the room. "Do you really think-" She stopped as his hand reached out to graze his fingers across her neck, no doubt searching for any signs of injury other than the bruising that was probably already somewhat visible.

"I hurt you." He swallowed, shaking his head. "I hurt my people. Everyone who is around me always ends up hurt." Her eyes watered from the increasing amount of emotion, vulnerability, and pain in his voice. "I-I am a destroyer."

"No, no, no." She shook her head, ignoring what her head was telling her and climbing onto his lap. "This," she placed her hand over his that was still on her neck. "This is nothing. An extraction mission, at best."

She pushed her lips together, cupping his face, her thumb caressing her cheeks. "You are hope, Thor. How many times, how many people, have you saved over the years? You went from being a selfish and arrogant asshole to one of the most selfless, kind, and caring people, hero, earth and every other planet out there has ever had the honor of being protected by."

She closed her eyes and sighed through a closed mouth. "It’s not your fault, Thor. Do you hear me? None of it. You can’t keep blaming yourself. I don’t. Steve doesn’t. Val doesn’t…and they wouldn’t."

She wiped away the tear that fell down his face and pressed her forehead against his. "You’ve lost more than any of us, and you’ve been strong for so long, but it’s okay to not always be strong. It’s okay to not always have the answers, or make the right decisions. Nobody is perfect, and no one expects you to be. You don’t owe anyone anything else, except to yourself. To heal. To grow. To forgive.”

Naomi released a shaky breath as he wrapped his arms around her, the boldest act of affection he’d extended her way since her return.

“Stay.” She looked down at him, the sincerity in his eyes. “Please.”

She wasn’t sure if he meant for the night, or in general, whatever the intention, her answer was still the same. She was with him to the end.

“Always."

#endgame spoilers #thor #thor x reader #thor x oc #thor odinson #avengers #thor fanficition #marvel #marvel fanfiction #thor x black!reader #thor x black!oc #loki #odin #norse mythology #mcu #thor fanfic #fic: all i ask

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gg-astrology · 5 years

Note

Hey sweets, do you mind speaking about a Virgo Sun ~ Aries Moon combo when you have the time. Thank you 😘💞💞💞

Oof sweets?? 💕💕 that’s so cute! 😘💕 I hope ure doing well!!! 💕💕

[Below Cut: Virgo Sun - Aries Moon 🌴]

One thing I like about this combo is their driving force/power

It’s understated because underneath that Virgo exterior, it’s always simmering inside

You don’t really notice it until they start snapping lsjdnfksn and then that’s like-- the dam is broken and then they start laying it out on you, barking commands, letting it all out of their system in one big good flow of frustration/anger that’s unusual from their normally collected and sharp persona.

This obviously a straight-forward situation. It depends on context/situation but usually Virgo/Aries wouldn’t get mad at you (although they can get moody) the main point was--- there’s some noticeable tension between the Virgo/Aries combo that’s just fascinating to see

Like.....with Virgos there’s often a carefulness to them and that’s part of the first thing you see. It’s them trying to keep control, there’s a restless energy simmering on their skin and they’re often trying to be THE most reasonable person who quietly stays in control at all times.

Yet at the same time, the arguably frustrating energy inside the Virgo is more restless and enhanced because of Aries. Aries Moon wants OUT it wants to GO it wants to CLAIM without reasoning nor logic behind it.

Pretty much...this might not be what you might want to hear but Virgo/Aries combination their Virgo analytical aspect or archetype might be more prominent within them

The only thing different between the ‘typical’ Virgo archetype and this one is the lack of timidity--- these Virgo/Aries people often knows that power can be subtle, but confidently wield it will have much more impact

They don’t NEED to be overt to gain control over the situation, or control over power. They don’t NEED to be loud or ‘out-there’ to command attention to them when they need to be.

These Virgo/Aries people are the one who likes to be in control, maybe evaluate sometimes (*if theres something in your chart contributing to it) that they do not turn into control freaks and get upset and a slight disturbance in their normal daily alignment. Watch for slight possessiveness over people/objects/environment/habits, even if it may be well-intentioned.

These people are good at speaking with power, often those who has honest eyes and they often won’t sugar coat their words (*although with development, they can be gentle and wield them carefully too)

Their voice can be subtle in situations that requires tact, or it can get booming when they need to go there (although they’ll rarely like losing control completely, so even if they’re mad. They’re more of the type to try to control their anger than start screaming at someone -- more like criticizing them and demanding that ‘this isn’t right’)

These people can often be mistaken (by others) as Scorpios mostly because of the tension they hold inside, their power sparks this kind of undercurrent energy in them that gets evoked occasionally.

The difference between Scorpio and Virgo/Aries person however-- is that Scorpio energy is water. There’s a level of emotionality to them, which might led many to believe they may attack on the emotional level as well (appealing to other’s emotions/logic-- that’s where the ‘manipulation’ idea came from).

Whilst Virgo/Aries is all hard rationality, criticism and frustration, driven to extremes can be unreasonably out of context and trying to use their ‘judgement’ as means of objectivity/behaviour change for another person (straight-forward, pure and honest, can’t hide from themselves.

Tries to control themselves because they don’t like the part about their ‘raw/childish’ Aries. But the Virgo’s vigilance can only last as long as they bend to the Aries’s power and not break their own backs trying to keep them down)

I think for the Virgo/Aries person themselves, understanding the tension of how Virgo is a perfectionist and Aries has high ideals can be the core of the situation

Aries is about the raw self, the core self. This energy is untamed, unruly and often fearless. Childish and self-centered/assured. Virgo is careful, often calm, works hard and pays attention to what it could do, could be doing. Socially conscious and nervous/anxious.

Whenever Virgo is like ‘this is enough’ the Aries is always whispering ‘more’. When the Virgo is like ‘I could do better..’ the Aries is like ‘so what about it?’

It’s a cycle of your emotionality often egging your vitality/ego. Some frustration between the two, trying to prove each other wrong and that they could be the better counterpart.

The person themselves may have moments where they’re Aries--- laughing having fun, playful and tactile.

While another part of you may take over quickly, switching to Virgo--- who’s in control, calm, ready to communicate about the situation and figure out what needs to do.

This dual quality to you is noticeable, but also something that should be noted that it’s often separated from each other. Usually by conditions/context of the environment around you.

If it’s a high-tension situation, Virgo takes over and Aries backs it up. Making for a person who can be demanding and assertive, who maybe nervous but shuts that down in order to get work done.

If it’s a low-tension but still frustrating situation-- Aries breaks fairly easily, frustration and snapping. Letting the frustration show like a dam broken while Virgo tries to keep things in tact, do damage control even when Aries is snapping (there’ll always be a part of the person who’s unwilling to let go of themselves completely, always aware of the social context and how they can salvage any relationships, any context past that moment/point where they’re laying it out for the other person)

In no-tension situation-- the Virgo and Aries relax, can make for a witty person. Often sarcastic or snarky. Perhaps easy to laugh by unexpected things (Aries likes excitement and Virgo enjoys things done subtlety)---Easy-going, laid-back. A little more held together through innocence in their charm that Virgo lets out to show.

Part of you may be youthful at heart, childish and carefree. Letting yourself show that outwardly to others can be an awkward affair.

Without reassurance or self-affirmation, the person may regularly face problems with having particularly high self-image/expectations of themselves, yet constantly frustrated at how to get there/aren’t feeling completely aligned with themselves/their ideals.

There’s a noticeable trait in Virgo/Aries though-- and that’s usually through where they put their energy. In their productivity, they want to feel like they’ve worked hard and that they’ve conquered a challenge. They like the ‘good burn’ of feeling proud of themselves-- recognized by others for their serious nature and exactness, their driving force and power.

It stops the voice in their head momentarily, makes them feel gratification from their productivity/activities. The thing these people have to realize is that they soak up environmental tension. That’s a crucial part of their being they tend to overlook

Mostly because they tend to be self- accessive, they may neglect to think that they are rather receptive to other people/energetic tension in their environment too.

While they may pride themselves in keeping a cool, calm, accurate assessment when they are in ‘productive’ mode (whilst the tension is high) the key thing they should be looking at is that there was something that triggered them into this ‘productive/work’ mode in the first place.

They are receptive to the environment, to people and to behaviour patterns. Learning to recognize that you are intuitive/receptive to this allows you to know that you’re influenced by the stress/tension of your environment too (because the Virgo/Aries was too busy arguing they didn’t realize they had to protect themselves against this factor)

This heavily compromised the way they work, the way tension builds and the way they snap. With Virgo/Aries it’s highly likely they may get sick, fatigue or feel it physically. Because they are rather--- dense, when it comes to when to take breaks or what their body needs, they may not recognize that it’s been bogging down on them (they’re always in the conscious zone of their persona) -- until it suddenly snaps and they’re taken off-guard by how they feel/who they are/how their health is.

Make sure to learn how to guard and take precautions against emotional tension and how your body/mind reacts to it. These people rarely go into the mysticism, but if one thing more subtle could help them it’s in doing Yoga, Tai-Chi. Meditation. Learning how to get past their ‘communication/affection barrier’ when they’re relaxing, having fun and start balancing/typing their Virgo/Aries together in that area (strengthen it’s significance in their life) is also important.

Taking care of your health WILL help you balance yourself out, no matter how much these people think they can ‘work normally/be normal’ or ‘have strength’--- they will only see things from their perspective until they learn how to BALANCE

They are NOT superman and no matter how much they want to fully concentrate on pushing their energy onto something--- it is NOT productive if they don’t learn about their flaws or how to balance them in these subvert ways/methods as well (trust me it’ll help).

If you have a Cancer near you, or a Libra. Talk to them (*hopefully one that’s aware/self-developed) so that they can tell you why/how you’re being stupid and neglecting yourself in certain situations.

Human life is more than one area of concentrated efforts. More than two or three areas where they put their energy into. Human life/experience is promising yourself you will take care of ‘you’ better, and giving other areas of your life a chance to be significant.

If you need a visual reference: imagine the wheel chart. All the houses represents different things. You can occupy two houses, and have a lot of energy in those areas (or any houses your planets are in). But the rest of your houses are places where you can put your energy into as well (to learn how to balance)

That’s why we have 12 houses, so we can learn how to balance ourselves out and our energy. Your houses don’t have to have planets in all of them, it’s good to have empty ones. But it doesn’t mean it’s insignificant.

Empty houses can be influenced by it’s ruling sign (say Leo in 6H, so you look at where the sun is and it’s Virgo in 7H) Leo is influenced by the Sun, it’s counterpart, it’s ruler. Whatever Virgo Sun in 7H is doing in that house, the Leo in 6H energy is going to be influenced by it as well.

Anyways we’re getting off-topic, ending note is that these people may be subtle, powerful and sharp. But their immense control and concentrating power can also be their downfall if they don’t realize they’re much more vulnerable and sensitive than they are.

Especially in areas they never expected their krptonite to be in. Make sure to evaluate yourself and how you take care of you--- asking for help, or having a friend/family take care of you is also crucial. Because you can tend to ‘over-do’ yourself often.

(They remind me of people who probably came down with a flu at some point in their life, and their in-productivity makes them so miserable they probably insists they’re fine just to get to do something)

Anyways!! 💕 I hope you enjoy!! 💕 (Also check your Mars and Mercury for this one!! Those can have some influences on what your ‘triggers’ are!)

#Virgo Sun #Aries Moon #Virgo-Aries #Virgo #Aries #myblurryreality #asks

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talknerdytome67-blog · 6 years

Text

Loss

What did it mean that there were no handbooks for me? That people asked me to be strong in the face of the biggest loss I'd ever experienced or imagined? At times I felt like I didn't deserve to feel so shattered, especially in the shadow of my parents' immense loss but losing a twin is like losing half of yourself.

When I was 22, my twin brother, who was my only sibling, died. He had huffed duster while driving resulting in immediate brain death causing him to hit a tree at over 90mph. That day wasnt like any other day because a few months earlier I woke up and knew he was going to die. Just not how or when. The day the phone rang and I heard my mom say dark, foreign words like car accident, unresponsive, drugs, life support was the most impactful day of my life. In the thickness of shock, I didn't realize that the rest of my life would be measured in before and after. Before, when my family was intact. After, when I would somehow be forced to learn to live without the person I was supposed to get a lifetime with.

"Be strong for your parents," said blurs of people at Trevor's memorial service. I nodded, but inside me, something twisted. I stood in a daze as people streamed by, offering their awkward words and hugs. Be strong for your parents? I thought. How can I be strong for them when half my soul just died and I dont even know how to be strong for myself.

After

I was barely breathing. I was barely standing there. I was numb and strong was the last thing I felt. One thing is for sure I felt angry at my brother for leaving me here. For abandoning me. It's funny how I found myself consoling complete strangers over the death of my brother and yet these very people werent there for him when he was alive and struggling w addiction. Why is it that no one seems to truly care about you until tragedy strikes and then suddenly your life meant so much to them. They say things like "I didn't see this coming" "Why didn't they reach out"

In the early months after Trevors death at 22, I existed in a heavy fog. Nothing was as I knew it. I'd been forced to abandon the little life I'd once known. My friends were living their lives -- going to college, working, falling in and out of love and lust. Meanwhile, my life had stopped and I no longer recognized the world around me.

My home was filled with the cloying scent of flowers just starting to die. It struck me just then how terrible it was that we send flowers to the grieving -- here you go, another reminder that nothing is permanent, that everything lovely will be lost.

My brother's absence was heavy in the house. Though he had died in Peoria, his room was still scattered with relics: the bed he had slept in for so many years, his skateboarding hoodies hanging like shadows in the closets, a handful of videos and books. Memories pinned to each corner. His beloved Ferret Ember waiting for her best friend who was never coming home.

Having always taken comfort in words, I scoured the internet for a book for someone like me -- a barely adult whose (barely) adult twin brother had died. What I found was unimpressive: There were more books on losing a pet than losing a brother or sister, especially a twin. A few books existed for surviving children after a death in the family, but they were for small children. One memoir documented a sister's grief following her brother's death, but it was out of print.

A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant and my world took another 360* hit. I decided I needed to join a support group so I sat in a circle with a few widows and widowers, a woman whose daughter had died, and a woman whose mother had died. I was younger than any of them by at least 30 years, but I could relate to their shares: "I feel like I'm going crazy." "I'm so damned angry right now." "I can't sleep at night." "My anxiety is at an all time high"

Though the losses were different, the feelings were the same and we were all barely coping.

My parents, who adopted us at 2 would never be the same. Their pain was almost visible, as if a piece of their bodies had been cut out. I had lost myself, too, or at least the version of me that was unscathed by tragedy: an innocent version, who walked around in some parallel universe where her brother was still alive, ignorant to the incredible fortune of an entirely alive family.

My brother, my twin, my built in best friend. I miss Trevors big brown eyes. His loud laugh. He was the co-keeper of my childhood and my secret's. The person who was supposed to walk with me longer than anyone else in this life. The only other person who knew what it was like to grow up with our particular parents, in our particular home and our particular situation being adopted.

The future.

I cried for the nephews and nieces I would never have. I cried for my own daughter who would never know my brother, her uncle. How would I explain him? How would I ensure that his essence wasn't lost, that he wasn't just a figure in old photographs, a handful of stories? Suddenly i was the only person who could make my parents the grandparents they were soon to be.

I constantly grieve for all the hard times ahead when my brother wouldn't be by my side. When my parents begin to age. When my grandparents die. There would be no one to share these dark milestones with and no one to comfort me in the way he did with just his presence.

And so 3 weeks after his death Im now pregnant and despite feeling like I wanted to die from the pain and loneliness i had to stay alive. I suddenly was needing to stay healthy, to stay safe, to stay positive because I was bringing a beautiful baby girl into the world and theres no time to fall apart.

So I placed my grief on hold.

I felt like our family had been a four-legged table, and one leg had suddenly been torn off. The remaining three of us wobbled and teetered. We felt the missing leg like an amputee, each morning waking to the horrible fact that Trevor was gone and unable to stop the pain.

I wrote letters to my brother in those early months and years. At first, memories blazed through my head and I used the letters to capture them before they flitted away, gone forever: my brother walking towards me when he knew my heart had been broken and embracing me in a giant hug. The time I taught him to make snow angels in the front yard of our home, our bulkily clad limbs sliding in synchronicity under the cold afternoon sun.

Later, I wrote the letters when I needed to cry -- when the grief sat coiled and waiting in my chest, needing to be let out, released. I couldn't find the words of other bereaved twin sisters or brothers to bring me comfort, so I created my own.

One day, when I was lost in my sadness, my mom said, "You won't always feel like this. You'll have a family of your own. You'll move on." This seemed impossible in my 23 year-old new mom skin. I couldn't imagine this potential future where I lived a life my brother was no longer apart of.

But very, very slowly, I began putting my life back together. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl and I made the difficult decision to leave an abusive relationship and return home again. As time has gone on I notice my daughter has his love of music and animals and possesses the lighthearted spirit my brother had at the same age and I cant help but smile and think a part of him is in her.

Sometimes adult siblings aren't able to close the distance between them, all those shared experiences and time and space and relationships matter. They tether us, they twine our stories together. I pray that my children will one day remain close as they grow, and that they enjoy a long lifetime together and never take eachother for granted.

After nearly 9 years, the sharp shock and grief I felt in those early months and years are no longer constant but only come back in waves, especially around his angelversary or our birthday. It's hard to explain to people the survivors guilt I feel and the PTSD I acquired from watching him struggle to pass away after being taken off life support. It's hard to explain to people that the week of his death never gets easier to face and I tend to shut down and shut people out because I dont want to be a burden. I distance myself so my sadness doesnt spill into their lives.

Its taken 9 years for the pain to dull and for the words "your brother is dead" to stop pounding in my head -- but they did. Trevors absence is mostly a dull hurt, the ghost of an old broken bone that aches when it rains. I feel it more on holidays and anniversaries, when someone else close to me dies. Or when something funny happens and I go to text him and realize I cant. Because Hes gone.

I'll always wish he was still here. I'll always wonder what he would look like and what he'd be doing if he was still alive -- at almost 32, At 50. At 75. Who would he be today? Would he have gotten sober and started a family? Would his music career had taken off?

So with no other choice I continue on. Perhaps I am even strong, like those well-meaning mourners at my brother's memorial asked me to be. But my brother's loss will remain with me for my whole life -- just like he was supposed to.

I wish I knew how to explain to the people I love that the distance I create during anniversaries is done so they are not effected by my overwhelming sadness. I create distance because even after 9 years I am still learning how to cope and handle my grief and sometimes its easier to do alone so that theres no pressure to feel like you have to be happy and in a way continue healing.

I'm incredibly blessed with an amazing boyfriend who is patient and kind and incredibly handsome and perfect in every way. He has been incredibly understanding and supportive despite the distance I have placed between us lately and that's how I know hes who I am going to spend the rest of my life with if he'll let me.

I will forever be thankful for the time I had with my brother and the lessons he taught me but time doesn't heal all wounds and I am just finding ways to get by.

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nayeon-sadly-owns-me · 7 years

Text

Welcome back to part 2 for Fool's Gold if you haven’t read that or part one then I suggest you do so or else you’ll be lost. This is my own interpretations so if you disagree please feel free to tell me your thoughts!! I would love to hear them : )

Arguably the longest breakdown I’ve ever written so if you need to stop and go get a drink or a snack then go for it.

Spoilers beyond here

We come back to a love stricken Jeongyeon, a distressed Sana, and an utterly distracted Momo. This is the part where we have gradually gone from the past to the present, where innocent kisses and hugs are no longer very innocent.

If you are not very familiar with Ultraviolet, Jeongyeon and Nayeon are mortal enemies. That makes Momo’s crush on Nayeon a very big issue for Jeongyeon and an even bigger deal for Sana. Another dynamic I wish I got to see more of was Jeongyeon and Nayeon.

Jeongyeon succeeded in showing us what an angry Momo looks like, something we have seen very little of. She is valuing her own emotions instead of bottling them up, something she doesn’t do with Sana. It both shows how important Nayeon has already become considering she is willing to walk away to cool off when Jeongyeon says something bad about her. It also shows how much she puts Sana in front of herself when she never does that to her.

Of course, Sana has to keep up the charade that she only sees Momo as a friend, even in the presence of Jeongyeon. She tries to blow it of as a harmless crush because she can’t see Nayeon actually pay Momo attention. It’s a subtle jab towards Momo, a way of rationalizing her jealousy over Momo liking Nayeon in order to make herself feel better. Sana would never tell that to her face though.

We get our first interaction between Sana and Nayeon. It includes a bathroom stall and an outing message about SaMo. My guess was that Eunha and her gang had everything to do with it. It’s extremely childish and very much a high school thing to do. It doesn’t make the pain of this scene decrease any less though.

Nayeon is the one to take care of the mess although up until now we have no idea why (unless you read ultraviolet of course). Nayeon clearly didn’t greet Sana with hospitality though. She was gonna say something snarky before she notices the writing. If I had to guess, I would say that Nayeon was utterly jealous of Sana. She was the one who got to know the ins and outs of the girl she had been secretly pinning after. The girl who was currently the subject of the gossip on the wall. It’s a sign that she cares about no one finding out about this as much as Sana does.

“I’m not doing it for you.” Is the piece of evidence needed that maybe she holds that grudge against her.

Because the feeling that her crush on Momo is unattainable mirrors what Momo is feeling.

The next scene proves that Eunha did have something to do with the harassment. As someone who has watched someone be outed, it’s a personal relief to watch it end with no consequences. Even if Sana is clearly a walking rainbow with heart eyes for Momo.

It’s also the first time we see the little crush that Dahyun has on Sana. It’s a harmless little crush that probably would have died early on if the person it was on wasn’t Sana.

There is something about the mental image of Momo grinning and waving to Nayeon that makes me feel very guilt about being giddy about it. Although my primary ship is Namo, I am very attached to Samo too.

It makes the scene about Momo talking about her unrequited love for Nayeon just as painful as you know Sana feels that way about Momo. I remember reading it and feeling a crushing feeling, I wanted Sana to get her happy ending so badly because I know how this feels.

If the kisses and sex mean anything to Momo, by now anybody might come to the conclusion that Momo might be doing this because she wants to feel wanted. Being with Sana makes her feel wanted even if it’s not the kind that she wants. In a way, it might not be as innocent as it was originally intended to be.

Instead of talking, Sana proposes a party instead. This is high school after all.

Sana harmlessly flirts with Dahyun, Jeongyeon harmlessly talks about her girlfriends new friendship, and everyone else just tries to keep Jihyo from being a mess. It makes me wonder if they got caught with the alcohol when the teacher caught them.

It also makes me remember that Sana must think about Momo’s crush on Nayeon a lot considering how threatened she feels by it. Again, it feels like a subtle jab to talk about how Momo is out of her league. Not in a good way. She has twisted her thoughts into believing that Nayeon could never notice Momo, because she is Im Nayeon. It’s an unhealthy way of thinking that has grown from Sana believing she is the only one who is a match for Momo.

It doesn’t help when they spend all class turning each other on and try to have a quickie in the bathroom 5 minutes before class. Hormonal teenagers who want to show each other just how much they mean to them even if they’re just “friends”. When they’re having such an intimate and loving moment just laughing and kissing, it’s another moment that makes you really really REALLY want them to end up together. Tbh it’s tearing me apart to not root for them. You win this round Stormy.

The moment is broken up by a revelation that Bona is now solely in love with Xuan Yi, a girl who isn’t Jeongyeon. It’s awkward but it makes you realize that Bona legitimately didn’t mean to hurt her. That is until she takes the flight option and you remember just how cruel teenagers can be. Why stay when you can leave, it’s so easy right?

We get a pleasant reminder just how much of a bitch Nayeon can be, especially when it concerns Jeongyeon. They were made to piss each other off, no boundaries included. It makes sense that Jeongyeon takes her anger out on her, and it makes even more sense for Nayeon to be completely ready to fight back. It’s so mind-numbingly apparent just how different Nayeon is compared to Momo. The crush she has on her as never felt more bizarre than it did when Nayeon throws cocky words back into Jeongyeons face.

If Momo had been there, I wonder how differently it would have played out. Would Nayeon still cave because she lives for the drama, or would she have taken the high road?

We get context that Momo has been crushing on her for almost a year, it isn’t just a simple crush anymore. Sana recognizes it and so she tries to come to terms with it by telling Jeongyeon to behave. It is almost like she is saying that more to herself though. She almost gets there, but goes back on her previous words by reminding both her and Jeongyeon that Momo will move on soon.

It’s a total Sana move to cope with her feelings by seeking out the attention of others. Sana is a person who craves attention and applause because it makes her feel validated in a way that Momo doesn’t make her feel. It’s a selfish mindset as only just a few scenes ago Momo was ready to eat her out after trying to fuck her in class.

Maybe Momo has put Sana on a golden pedistal, maybe she feels guilty about kissing and touching Sana? Theres something about Momo saying she doesn’t deserve Sana that makes you feel like there is more to it. Whether it’s me over thinking it (probably) or Momo really does just love Sana that much.

I just want to say that Jeongyeon calling Mina, Mona, is still one of the funniest things to come out of Stomry’s work. It’s even better when Tzuyu gives everyone the idea that they should let Jeongyeon figure it out on her own. (Of course Mina + Bona = Mona and that sours the mood)

If I ever write about Ultraviolet, I’ll talk about the scene where Mina meets them the gang for the first time and all that goes with it.

What I WILL talk about is that Mina is the only one not caught up in her own emotions enough to notice that Nayeon looks at Momo too. Mina becomes a new outlet to Momo, one that I appreciate as a reader because it gives it new perspective. We get to see the depth of her affection when a simple shared look caused her soul to leave her body. It’s different from how she is with Sana where she is composed and in charge of her emotion.

It’s an obvious contrast to Momo’s shaken behavior where she is downright nervous at the idea of Nayeon walking towards her. She forgets how to talk in Korean and man what a cutie. I thoroughly believe that nobody can write Momo better than Stormy can. Nayeon would be a close second.

Spoiler alert: Nayeon knows Momo exists and suddenly Jeongyeon and Sana’s words lose the power it once had.

Momo is so beyond smitten with Nayeon, she praises the girl in ways she never did with Sana. With Sana it was always gentle words, but with Nayeon it’s large metaphors and hyperboles. She considers Nayeon’s presence to be in comparison to watching the universe expand because this marks the day that Momo has been changed by just such a small encounter.

Im a firm believer in the concept that even the smallest encounters can change a person’s life. Sana had hers with Momo, and Momo had hers with Nayeon.

It’s disheartening to see her two best friends naturally not share her enthusiasm because of their own reasons. This makes an impact on Momo because of how much she depends on their support. Wanting them to pretend like they’re happy is not them though, so you have to settle for what their reality is. It’s a reality where her best friends really don’t want her falling for Nayeon and it kinda hurts to see. I can’t argue with them though because they both have very sound reasons.

That impact doesn’t stay tangible for long when she has a literal run in with Nayeon. Full introduction and all. We get to see the different side of Nayeon, the kind and compassionate side. The encounter is so sweetly awkward that if you ship Namo you can’t help but grin. Momo had spent the better part of the second part being told she isn’t on Nayeon’s radar when she absolutely is. If you main Samo, this is the part that probably made the pain 10x worse, for that- here is a tissue.

It’s so naturally awkward that it really does feel realistic when Momo doesn’t talk to Nayeon while helping her with the books. When you spend so much time daydreaming scenarios and then actually have one happen, it’s a bit overwhelming. Momo does say she’s her dream girl and she means it. If she isn’t thinking about Sana, then she is probably thinking about Nayeon. Maybe those two should be switched now?

Nayeon makes her intentions known as to why she wanted Momo’s help, she wanted to get to know her. When Momo didn’t indulged her, it’s no wonder that maybe she was deflating because of false hopes. If you know anything about Fool’s Gold Momo, it’s that she’s a people pleaser.

Even if it means stuttering that Nayeon being pretty is the reason.

Nayeon has to test the waters to make sure that Momo doesn’t hate her like Jeongyeon does (and Sana although that’s a blurred line). Insight that this is why she hasn’t approached her before. Nayeon has a jealous streak, hating Momo’s friends for being able to make Momo happy is probably a plausible reason to her.

Sana telling herself not to worry about Momo being in detention screams foreshadowing.

We get more HBIC Nayeon to Softy Nayeon when it comes to realizing Momo is in the room. Going from ‘Do I really have to?’ to ‘If you don’t want to come back I can totally understand’. She is much better at being subtle than Sana even by just an inch.

They’re finally talking and it’s a positive step in the right direction for Momo. This is a girl that generally cares about what Momo has to say regardless of her cold attitude to everyone else. They say that when you’re smitten with someone, their hobbies become your favorite thing. When Nayeon shares her love for doodling with Momo, it’s like she shared a secret with her.

Momo tells her that she likes Spongebob, for anyone who has somehow forgotten, she shared her first kiss with Sana while watching an episode of Spongebob. That is why it holds fond memories despite being forgotten about.

We don’t know what Nayeon was going to say to Momo, maybe it was an invitation to see her again, maybe it was a confession? We don’t have to ponder about it for long because Momo is the one to initiate that they should see each other again. She wants Nayeon to become a constant thing in her life, much like how Sana is.

Clearly the encounter had made Nayeon feel something too the way she withdraws in order to not make anything look suspicious when the teacher returns. Nayeon makes it clear that Momo can come see her whenever she wants, it’s a heartwarming moment that confirms that Momo’s unattainable crush is actually just around the corner within reach at any moment. If only it wasn’t also the way Sana see’s Momo.

Up until now, Sana and Momo have been attached to the hip, but now Momo is starting to move away. It’s unintentional, but it doesn’t make it less relevant because it leaves Sana wondering where she’s been. They haven’t been talking and that is new for them. What else is new is that Momo doesn’t kiss Sana back.

Because of her growing feelings for Nayeon, it makes sense that she doesn’t want to engage in intimate activities with a girl that isn’t her. Except this creates a problem because Sana and Momo have always had intimacy involved in their relationship. It is what keeps Sana grounded and without that, it leaves Sana confused and doubtful. We start to see Sana’s downfall, it feels almost uncomfortable to read because we watched their relationship grow into what it is present time.

It’s very rare that a relationship forms between someone and their dream girl because we can make them out to be much more than what they really are. However, Momo has dealt with it well. She has seen her good side and has kept her expectations low so that she can see Nayeon for who she truly is. The idea of heartbreak does not faze her because she really does like Nayeon and not in a superficial kind of way.

You might not like Nayeon because she ‘ruined’ Samo, but you can’t say that she didn’t treat Momo like she deserved. Something that Sana can’t truly claim unfortunately.

Their music preference shows just how different Nayeon and Momo are. Nayeon’s taste is more soft and aesthetically pleasing while Momo likes up beat music that gets her out of her own head. The best part is that, they embrace the difference in music style and found a way to appreciate both. Nayeon creates a playlist so that she can never forget what song Momo has requested. It’s possible that she made it so that she can think about any hidden meanings that Momo might have implied when recommending them.

Nayeon drawing a heart while giving a speech about Bona telling her that she was following her heart. She is a smooth mother fucker and if Momo didn’t want to marry her then I would openly be volunteering. Momo is innocent though, especially after spending months thinking that theres no way Nayeon could ever see her like that, if at all. Nayeon spells it out and seals it with a kiss to her cheek. We don’t know Momo’s reaction, but we can guess that she probably combusted into hearts.

Another sign of trouble between Momo and Sana is that Momo didn’t even want to explain about the heart on her arm. She didn’t want to talk about how Nayeon basically confessed her feelings or how Momo must be feeling like she’s flying. It all goes back to the withdrawn emotions that Sana showed Momo when Nayeon started to become a bigger deal. When you are falling for someone, you want to be able to openly gush about it without being told that you’re stupid for it. We’re now starting to see the effect of Sana’s lack of enthusiasm. We, as the reader, know why but Momo does not.

Momo draws to distract herself, when Nayeon enters the room, she no longer needs a distraction. Nayeon has gradually become something that keeps her awake and happy, something that Sana use to claim. Momo isn’t moving on to spite Sana, but to pursue her own happiness. She doesn’t even know that her subtle actions are turning Sana’s world upside down.

Nayeon is willing to break rules if it means getting to have nice moments with Momo. She puts her title as Head Master on the line just to see her smile. Nayeon leads her to the gardens, a place where Sana and Momo once got kicked out of for picking a flower. We learn that Nayeon has a huge thing for flowers and an even bigger thing for Momo. She wants to make memories before she can’t, it’s a good phrase to use especially concerning that their time in high school will be over before they know it.

Although the flowers might die, she will still have Momo.

Back to Samo’s time in the botany club, they planted roses. It’s the same path that Nayeon took her down to. Momo now shares a memory of this place with both Sana and Nayeon. Nether memory better than the other, because at the end of the day they are both her favorite people. It’s just, even Sana’s rose doesn’t match up to Momo’s feelings for Nayeon.

Nayeon has liked her for two years, since Freshmen year if my time line is correct (maybe sophomore year, kinda hard to keep track of when the trio entered the school). It’s roughly around the same time that Momo has started crushing on her two. Momo leaves Nayeon feeling nervous and flustered, the feelings are mutual. It’s a healthy balance of equal feelings that leave them happier with each minute passing.

We get our first proper piece of evidence that Momo doesn’t see Sana as a romantic partner. “This is how it’s supposed to feel” meaning that she had never felt ‘sparks’ or whatever you want to refer the anxious butterfly feeling you get when you finally get to kiss the girl. It’s up to you to figure your own reasoning behind why Momo kept it going, I’ve already given mine.

We get our precious nervous Momo who forgets to breathe and I just love how this scene brings everything together.

What brings us back to earth is that Momo didn’t even explain to Sana that it was a trick and she had spent time with Nayeon instead. It was the start of Momo putting her own happiness in front of Sana’s happiness, if only it didn’t disturb the balance of their friendship. Sana waits for Momo in a situation where Momo would not be coming this time. It reflects this thing that they had. Sana waits for Momo to get over Nayeon and come back to her despite the fact that Momo is now happy with Nayeon and not coming back in that sense.

I want to point out that Momo had never once cared about who saw her kiss Sana- meanwhile, she has created a secret routine with Nayeon that involves kissing in secret. Secret being that her best friends hate Nayeon minus Mina. Kissing Nayeon weighs more than her previous kisses with Sana.

Momo ditches Sana and Jeongyeon’s movie night to go to Nayeon’s room- something she could have done any other night. It’s an act that goes without notice to anyone that this is now a serious affair. Besides the weeks of spending free time with her, or ditching class with her, this is the first time we see Momo blow Sana off. She does it without any hesitation because they’re her friends and they should understand that this thing with Nayeon is serious business. She doesn’t think about Sana’s feelings, because she still only sees her as a friend and nothing more.

“Sex is different with Nayeon. It’s better with feelings” (This phrase speaks for itself)

We’ve now entered the breaking point where Sana realizes just how fucked she is. She has to pretend like she totally isn’t in love with Momo because that would ruin the friendship (as this often goes, telling the truth might have actually saved the heartache that Sana experienced. No one ever likes to talk about their feelings out of fear though.

The downfall of indulging yourself in intimacy always comes when the other person meets someone else who isn’t you. Sana’s harsh reality is that Momo isn’t hers. She never properly was despite years and years of telling herself that she was. All those months of convincing herself and everyone else that the Momo’s crush was harmless is now coming to destroy every aspect of her spirit. Meanwhile, Momo has no idea.

No matter how close Nayeon and her get, it doesn’t lessen the fact that Momo really does love and care for Sana. When she shows concern for Sana’s well-being, we know it’s real. What we get in return though, is Sana finally bringing of Momo relationship with Nayeon.

If their friendship didn’t appear on thin ice before, it does now. We see Momo as a stuttering mess while trying to explain that she was going to tell her. Something kept her from telling her. Maybe it was the idea that with Momo dating someone she really likes then itll mean change. Nobody likes change.

Sana goes along with Momo’s happiness because that’s what best friends do.

The nail polish dilemma is a nice touch on Stormy’s part to show that despite the fact that Sana is trying to choose the right thing (getting over Momo) she still ends up picking the option that will lead her to Momo.

She gets a slap to the face when Momo comes stumbling in with Nayeon, obviously about to have sex. It’s a reminder that she isn’t Momo’s.

Party’s in the past have been used to provide a nice distraction, in this case it is a distraction made for Sana to forget about Nayeon. Momo knows her well though, knows that this party is a really bad idea. Nobody should drink when they’re dealing with a shit load of emotions after all.

Im “Head Girl” Nayeon giving Momo a hickey because she wants to make sure the student body knows that Momo is taken is a nice image. Having Sana be the one to cover it up (symbolism for the fact that she’s trying to prevent that) is kinda cruel.

What’s crueler is that Momo kissed Sana as a consequence for being picked. It’s an unintentional stab in the heart that Momo doesn’t even know she’s doing. The kiss was intended to be playful, but Sana will never be able to see it as playful. Not when Momo says she has had better kisses while looking at Nayeon. Her grasp on Momo is rapidly depleting and Sana doesn’t know how to cope because she has always had an excellent grasp on her.

They had spent years growing up together, just the two of them. Sana doesn’t know how to live without Momo being hers because she never has had to before. It’s an unhealthy attachment that is no longer innocent and is threatening to tear Sana apart at any moment.

Now Sana has to deal with being alone for the first time since she was a child crying alone in the sandbox. Lessons that she should have learned (like learning how to share and adapt) were not taught. Dahyun is there though to be the shoulder for her to cry on though. Dahyun always ends up being there for Sana when everyone else is busy in their own little world. Too bad Sana doesn’t notice this.

We get another friendly reminder that Momo did want to go make sure Sana was okay, but when the girl you love is with you- it’s hard to keep track of other things. We get a nice little moment where Nayeon admits to warming up to Momo’s friends and even Jeongyeon. Momo really does bring out the best in her.

Momo asking Nayeon if she cared that she kissed Sana shows a significant level of impact her response would have. To Momo it was just another thing to do with Sana, she probably didn’t think about the consequences until she was reminded that Nayeon was next to her and that they were kinda sorta dating. She’s worried that she screwed up with Nayeon. She didn’t even take into account that maybe she screwed up with Sana too.

We talk a lot about Sana so much that we forget that Momo is at fault too.

Nayeon hits the message home in a way that Sana had not- She wanted to be the only one to kiss Momo. If Sana had realized her feelings sooner, there is that ‘if’ possibility that things might have ended differently.

It’s easy to understand why Momo doesn’t talk about her feelings for Nayeon with her friends especially when one of them wants to have an intervention and the other is hopelessly waiting for it to fail (although she would deny it). Jeongyeon is the voice of the reader, exclaiming that Momo’s happiness cannot be real because she isn’t with Sana. Sana isn’t happy so that means Momo should break things off to make her happy- doesn’t sound right but it’s what people want.

Another thing on my list of things I want to know more about is Chaeyoung and Tzuyu and their cute dating life. Stormy im waiting.

Going back to Namo’s previous scene, Momo wants Nayeon to be her only person too. It means putting Nayeon in front of Sana. Them getting together is the step of Momo gaining independence and learning how to be someone who isn’t always tagged up with Sana. It’s endearing to know how smitten they both are over each other.

It’s also important that Momo finally talks about Nayeon to Sana and telling her that she’s taken now. If it had been years in the past, maybe Momo would have caught onto the fact that Sana really wasn’t happy for her. She wanted the conversation to end, not even wanting to hear what her best friend had to say. Even if her best friend is pouring her heart out.

Going back to Sana feeling insignificant if she is not the center of attention to Momo, having to deal with the two dating brings back the relevant feeling. I can’t say that Samo would have ended up together if Nayeon wasn’t written in- there’s too many gray areas. We just know that Sana doesn’t know how to cope with what she’s feeling because she really did build her life up around Momo. However, Momo didn’t do the same.

It’s that feeling of pain that makes her feel like pushing Momo away is the easiest thing to do.

Sana has to watch Momo hurt because of it.

It becomes a center for her self-hatred- one that she uses against Dahyun for having the nerve to bring up her feelings about Momo. The nerve of reminding her when she had just spent a night crying over her. Dahyun didn’t deserve this, she had been so good to Sana. Sana is too caught up with Momo though to see the world around her. It went from being innocent to not so innocent after 14 years of thinking about Momo and only Momo.

Momo does what she knows, that’s accept Sana for who she is and love her unconditionally. Momo is convinced that it’s all her fault for becoming so wrapped up in Nayeon that she neglected her. It’s not the reason, Sana already feels abandoned and hopelessly in love. Momo does what she can though, despite the fact that it’s not enough anymore.

We get insight on how much Nayeon liked Momo through the usage of Dahyun. Nayeon is serious about Momo, just as we watched her be.

Dahyun is able take the weight off of Momo’s shoulders in making Sana feel better. It’s another fact just how unselfish she can be.

Sana continues to spiral downwards despite everyones best interest. It includes subtly pushing everyone away when shes low because she feels like this is her problem to deal with. She neglects the fact that you can’t control how you feel nor the strength of said feelings. She blames herself is pretty much in full punishment mode now.

But she is a person that feeds off of affection and people doing things for her. It’s a characteristic that can be a vice or virtue depending on how you look at it. So she keeps Dahyun company because she goes to a lot of effort for her the way Momo use to. I’m not saying she is trying to replace Momo, but she’s trying to find a substitute regardless.

It’s alright until it isn’t.

Because she’s using Dahyun’s kindness. She tries to display affection towards Dahyun to see if Momo will look at her and realizing that she is jealous over Sana being with someone else. Momo is too busy asleep in the arms of Nayeon, but Jeongyeon is there. She knows what Sana is doing. Sana is aware herself that she is using Dahyun but she is too far gone to care. She is slowly becoming a toxic person, but not the extent that the reader would hate her, quite opposite. We still relate to her. We still want her to come out victorious. I’ve seen enough readers defend Sana’s actions and believe that Momo MUST feel the same.

In a way, we ignore the message that Stormy is trying to send by believing in our own belief that things must end in a happy ending for all characters. That’s not what this story is about though.

Another party, another opportunity for Sana to get shit face and try to avoid her issues by creating new ones. She hides that mindset with a false positive idea that she is starting to become okay again. It goes well until drunk Sana and drunk Momo are talking and Momo is being the absolute Best person by thanking her for the years of friendship.

She’s holds such a pure and powerful love for Sana and she does try her best to make sure that Sana knows it.

Sana thinks her last kiss is the peck that Momo didn’t return and it makes me wonder if she remembers the make out session at the last party. The “I’ve had better” line that broke her. It was their last actual kiss, even if it was a dare.

Drunk Sana has proven to be dumb and impulsive. She takes her pain and tries to make Momo see what she’s missing out on. It’s gut-wrenching to see that she has to use Dahyun in order to attempt this. It’s no secret that Dahyun cares about her a lot. Maybe her blushing frequently means she might be crushing on Sana on the low key. She’s nervous about the kiss, maybe she has thought about accepting Sana’s offer for kissing her before?

Sana kisses her to make Momo jealous- except Momo doesn’t even look. She’s too busy being with Nayeon, the girl who unconditionally makes her happy and has done so since they met. There is no need for either to put the others feelings before their own because there is a mutual understanding that they both need their own happiness.

Sana takes Dahyun’s caring nature and throws it back into her face. Sana disregarded her emotions and chose to act selfishly on a whim.

Sana doesn’t even contemplate the idea that Dahyun might have had feelings- didn’t even stop to think what kissing her would do. Dahyun sets her straight though in a way that nobody has gotten the courage to do yet. She hurt Dahyun- a girl who has spent her entire time in this fic explaining that she is straight and that she knows Sana wants Momo. So it’s no wonder that Dahyun responds by saying the only thing that she knows will hurt Sana. A girl who made her realize a scary truth and get heartbroken in the process.

That it’s not her fault Momo doesn’t love her back.

Too bad Nayeon heard this.

It’s something that she can’t process enough to mention it to Momo. Let alone it’s something that she shouldn’t have heard to begin with. I agree that it wasn’t Nayeon’s right to out Sana’s feelings- it’s different when Samo found out Jeongyeon’s girlfriend was cheating on her. Sana wasn’t in a relationship with Momo, as far as Nayeon knows, they had always been just friends.

You can’t tell your girlfriend that her best friend likes her too (at least not before she does it). It’s just not right, I don’t think Nayeon would know how to begin with that conversation.

Instead she chooses to keep Momo close so that she can be the one to make Momo’s heart flutter. I don’t think it’s out of a selfish need to keep Momo away from Sana. I think it’s just her way of making sure Momo knows that she cares and will be there for her when the time comes that she does find out.

We get to the end of the chapter with arguably the most cliff hanger ending to a one-shot. My own interpretation is that Momo is forgetting how important Sana is to her. I don’t think she is forgetting that she loves her romantically or that she has feelings for her- but that she has lost touch with what made her attached to Sana in the first place.

There are aspects of this fic that do not feel like it wrapped up- it’s what Stormy intended based on her tweets. We keep talking about it because we don’t have the answers (she does of course). As someone who likes proper endings, I do hope we get closure for this. I just wouldn’t hold my breath. Sometimes you just gotta let things go.

What I won’t let go is that we didn’t get closure for Sana or Dahyun. BUT. To each it’s own : )

Tl;dr Sana and Momo aren’t going to and never should end up together because it’s for the best for both of them.

#namo #Fool's Gold

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michellelewis7162 · 4 years

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Mushroom Developing

There is a large variation between the farming or expanding of green plants and also mushroom increasing. While the eco-friendly vegetations are actually furnished along with chlorophyll for acquiring the nutrients they need for development, mushrooms do certainly not have chlorophyll which has actually made it compelling for them to get their food with dependence on various other vegetation components. The text of the mushroom is actually comprised of the mycelium which is actually the little bit of threads which increase on the plant product (the substrate) through which they get their needed nutrients. Mushrooms are actually recognized to flourish on different plant materials.

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Mushroom increasing packages have ended up being significantly preferred in recent years as everyone point of view and beliefs towards fungis seems to have kicked back a little bit of - no longer are folks terrified of mushrooms and also as an alternative are actually prepared to have a go as well as try at growing their very own at home Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

Mushroom develop packages are actually restricted in fungis varieties currently (I've just viewed switch, Shiitake as well as Oyster increase packages), the button mushroom is by far the most commonly on call expand package. Many gardening stores market mushroom expanding sets, and also these establishments seem to pay attention to the most popular, taken into consideration as being actually "safer" mushrooms - the Button mushroom.

The Button mushroom increase sets are actually incredibly straightforward to make use of, even a little one might effectively increase their very own plant of mushrooms in merely a handful of full weeks! You merely need to clear the substratum right into a compartment as well as leave in an awesome moist spot till the mycelium increases totally with the block (transforming it white colored) and then cover it with the examining compost offered. Move it right into a cooler location as well as spray with water on a regular basis to keep damp. Little white rounded blobs will appear which will turn into mushrooms after simply a couple of days.

The Secrets to Mushroom Growing

Undoubtedly if you are a mushroom fanatic, you need to know exactly how to increase mushrooms. Typically, you would certainly wonder about mushrooms.That is perfectly ordinary. It will to no surprise if experienced mushroom eaters would want to expand their very own mushrooms. Mushrooms are great sources of protein.

In contrast to the common knowledge that mushroom expanding will require a massive quantity of abilities and also a focused type of approach in developing these little gems, mushrooms are actually the no-frills kind. JUST AS LONG AS their food items is given plus all the needed requirements are reached, all the producer has to perform is to hang around till it is opportunity for produce. Correct, when you live in the country side, you can expand as several as you can. Because you stay in the urban area carries out certainly not suggest you might certainly not be capable to increase your very own mushroom backyard, only. So long as you possess the area, your tool and also some spores, you can make mushrooms through batches. Identical to the country side, you generally permitted them be actually, Making sure that they possess substantial food items to eat and moisture as well as the temperature is actually only enough, your mushrooms will definitely put like little bit of white colored globs on your medium right just before your eyes!

Did you recognize that the tip to expanding mushrooms is certainly not an excellent secret? Probably when you talk to a mushroom gardener what the technique to an excellent tasting mushroom is actually, all he answers is a countenance his face. Possibly you could conclude that it has to be actually a long-kept technique that only a handful need to know.A handful, alright. But the secret is certainly not really that fantastic Magic Mushrooms Dispensary.

Are you curious what that is? All you need to possess is actually to give rise to or even have spores when you want to increase excellent mushrooms. You don't need to deal with it either. Do not think about this as some unique plant that has some special needs. Ever before been aware of the words "Popping up like mushrooms along the railway"? Effectively, that is actually essentially it. Mushrooms actually merely appear.

Other than spores and also the sort, what do mushrooms need to have?

For sure, mushrooms carry out not require lightweight thus better keep them somewhere where lighting may certainly not trickle via like in a closed container. An additional significant element to keep in mind is actually the temperature level. You need to have a steady one. Attempt not to get to 50-600F at this point.Be certain that you always keep the dampness degree constant. You don't desire to have perished -looking mushrooms.

These are actually the demands, or even need to our experts claim, the trick to mushroom increasing. As you might have observed now that the trick performs not include some odd concoction or even anything; somewhat, the trick is about having the ideal mixture of all the discussed factors. Once you receive the best formula for a certain mushroom varieties, your project will grow exponentially.

Outdoors mushroom growing in the type of a garden is one that calls for incredibly little bit of effort once the individual has actually provided the necessary vaccination to the records or any various other components along with mushroom generate. You can easily acquire mushroom expanding sets for merely a handful of various varieties of mushroom - you may obtain button mushroom increase kits and also you may receive oyster mushroom expand packages. When you get mushrooms coming from a store you may not be left behind over with exceptional compost for your garden (mushroom garden compost is one of the very most expensive as well as healthy types of garden compost as the mushrooms break down and also reuse lots of nutrients found in the substratum). In my point of view mushroom increasing sets are an exceptional technique of developing your own mushrooms and also if often they don't deliver remarkable value for money when matched up to the store cost you are going to discover so considerably coming from doing it your own self and also will perhaps take excellent honor in increasing and after that eating your very own mushrooms. They are actually understood in the crazy as field mushrooms but they are actually normally designated as the button mushroom or even the Portobello mushroom, although the Portobello varieties are typically much larger in dimension.

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edsenger · 5 years

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What Is Functional Medicine?

What is Functional Medicine? It’s true healthcare. Functional Medicine is a distinct medical model—separate and, as you’ll come to learn, vastly different from the conventional approach—one that promotes wellness and helps both prevent and treat chronic disease, the biggest health problem we face today. Although its concepts are not new, in this way, its approach is revolutionary. Functional Medicine is the future of medicine.

That all sounds wonderful, you may be thinking, but how exactly does it work, and what does it look like in practice, for patients and practitioners? You’re about to get some answers to those very important questions. Consider yourself enrolled in Functional Medicine 101.

Functional Medicine is the future of medicine, plain and simple. Find out how it differs from the conventional medical model and why it’s our best weapon in the fight against chronic disease. #functionalmedicine #unconventionalmedicine #kresserinstitute

What Is Functional Medicine? And How Does It Differ from the Conventional Approach?

Imagine you’re on a boat, and the boat is leaking. You can bail water from the boat so it sinks more slowly, but if the leaks are still there, you’ll have limited success in trying to stay afloat. The conventional medicine approach is mostly focused on bailing water out of the boat without fixing the leaks. But wouldn’t it make more sense to prevent the leaks from happening in the first place, and then fix them completely if they do spring up? There might still be the need to bail some water initially, but if the leaks get repaired, the boat becomes steadied. Eventually, there’s no more bailing required, and the sailing—or living—can resume (and it may be better than before). This is what Functional Medicine is all about.

Of course, that’s just a broad-strokes picture. To help you better understand Functional Medicine, let’s move beyond the metaphor and further compare and contrast the practice with conventional medicine.

Functional Medicine Conventional Medicine Health-oriented Disease-oriented Collaborative, patient-centered model Expert, doctor-centered model Biochemical individuality Everyone treated the same way Cost-effective Expensive Relieves symptoms by addressing cause Suppresses symptoms with drugs Preventative approach Early detection of disease High-touch and high-tech High-tech

Functional Medicine Is Health Oriented, Not Disease Oriented

Conventional medicine isn’t really healthcare—it’s disease management. Rather than optimize wellness through preventive and restorative lifestyle strategies, it focuses on managing illness once it has already occurred, primarily by suppressing symptoms with prescription drugs.

For example, if you have high blood pressure and you see a conventional physician, you’ll be given a drug to lower it. There’s rarely any investigation into what caused your hypertension in the first place. And even if lifestyle interventions are recommended, pharmaceuticals remain the primary treatment because the system isn’t set up to support you in those changes.

We can see this clearly in the following startling statistics:

Research suggests that more than half of all Americans take at least one prescription drug, with some estimates as high as 70 percent; many in this group regularly take between two and four medications. (1, 2)

Between 1988 and 2010, the number of older adults taking more than five prescription medications tripled, from 12.8 percent to 39 percent. (3)

More than 20 percent of children under the age of 18 take at least one prescription drug every month, including antidepressants and even opioids. (4, 5, 6)

Although there is certainly a time and place for prescription medication, there are several fundamental problems with basing our healthcare system almost entirely on drugs. (Not to mention, they’re expensive and add to the ever-ballooning cost of treating chronic disease conventionally, a figure that could top $47 trillion globally by 2030.) (7)

Drugs rarely address the underlying cause of a health problem.

They don’t just mask symptoms; they also suppress bodily functions, including vital ones. Thus, they can actually worsen a problem over time.

Drugs often correct one imbalance by causing another, or several others, resulting in side effects. Often, the unintended effects of a drug far outnumber its intended effects.

By treating disease with medications that mask symptoms and cause side effects in the process, the conventional care model creates patients for life. Conversely, Functional Medicine promotes health. As Functional Medicine practitioners, we aim to prevent disease from happening in the first place, and when it does, we seek to reverse it completely by investigating and then treating its underlying cause. You can think of Functional Medicine clinicians as “health detectives.” We support patients to recover their functions, so they can “graduate” from care and get back to living their lives.

How? We don’t start by looking for diseases and syndromes and collecting the evidence of signs and symptoms, but rather by first evaluating a patient’s genes and environment, including their diet, lifestyle, air and water quality, and so on. Why? We know that our modern diet, lifestyle, and environment change the expression of our genes—changes that give rise to diseases and syndromes.

It’s Patient Centered, Not Doctor Centered

In Functional Medicine, patients are encouraged to play an active and engaged role in their treatment because we recognize that behavior is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, contributors to chronic disease. In contrast, in conventional medicine, the doctor is the “expert” who provides the answers, which the patient passively receives.

As I’ve already shared, Functional Medicine treats the patient, not the disease. But more importantly, it treats the individual patient. Functional Medicine is not a one-size-fits-all approach: patients with the same problem may get a completely different treatment based on the particular origin and development of their condition. In a conventional model, patients with the same diagnosis often get the same treatment, despite differences in their presentation—a treatment that may not work well for them.

In order to provide such individualized treatment, Functional Medicine uses what I call “high-touch,” as well as high-tech, tactics. If you’re my patient, I’ll talk with you in depth, listen to you, and learn about your background during our visits, something that’s not possible in conventional care where most practitioners spend their days working through a series of rushed, almost-scripted, 10-minute appointments, rarely able to go below the surface level of a health issue.

Functional Medicine Is Holistic, Not Specialized

In conventional medicine, there’s a doctor for every part of the body, but these specialists infrequently, if ever, consult with each other. That’s because conventional medicine actually views the body as a collection of separate parts.

In Functional Medicine, we see the body as it is: an interconnected whole within a larger environment. We recognize that this perspective is needed to uncover the interrelated causes of underlying disease and chronic illness and to find the right tools, at the right time, individualized for each person. To treat one part of the body, all other parts must also be considered.

Speaking of tools, Functional Medicine is integrative, meaning that it uses the best tools from both the conventional and holistic worlds. While we typically start our work with diet, lifestyle, and behavior modifications, nutritional supplements, and botanicals, we don’t rule out medications or even surgery when necessary.

Why We Need Functional Medicine

We’re in the midst of a chronic disease epidemic. It’s hard to overstate just how serious this problem is. In fact, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to suggest that our very survival as a species is at stake.

Six in 10 U.S. adults have a chronic disease, while four in 10 suffer with two or more chronic conditions. (8)

Seven of the current top 10 causes of death are chronic diseases, including Alzheimer’s and diabetes, and chronic disease is responsible for seven out of every 10 deaths each year. (9, 10)

Nearly six million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer’s, a number expected to reach nearly 14 million by 2050; the disease kills more people than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined. (11)

More than 100 million Americans—nearly one in three—have either prediabetes or diabetes, the seventh-leading cause of death, while some 50 million citizens have an autoimmune disease. (12, 13)

As is apparent from these numbers, chronic disease is now the biggest threat to our longevity. Conventional medicine can only manage this slow-motion plague; it can’t stop and reverse it. Indeed, as I’ve written before, it was never designed to. It was historically, and remains to this day, structured to address trauma, acute infection, and end-of-life care, not to keep people healthy. Don’t get me wrong—it’s incredibly effective in these instances; if I get hit by a bus, I definitely want to be taken to a hospital. But it is hardly a powerful weapon in our fight against chronic disease. Unlike acute problems, chronic diseases aren’t simply solved. They can’t be cured with conventional medicine’s Band-Aid approach, that is, drugs and other symptom-suppressing strategies that may not even bring relief, much less a resolution.

It’s important to note here that just as the conventional approach doesn’t promote health in its patients, neither does it foster wellness in its practitioners.

A growing number of clinicians who started in conventional medicine are making their way to a Functional Medicine approach because, to put it plainly, the current system leaves them feeling burned out. If you’re a conventional practitioner and you’ve experienced disillusionment in your work, you’re certainly not alone. But shifting to a Functional Medicine model will allow you to provide the high level of care that drew you to medicine years ago.

Why It Works: The Functional Medicine Pyramid

Functional Medicine can stop and reverse chronic disease. As I briefly mentioned earlier, practitioners almost always begin evaluation and treatment with the foundational layer of the Functional Medicine Pyramid: diet, lifestyle, and environment. We start here because we know from clinical experience and research that these are the areas likely to have the biggest impact on the broadest range of conditions. We know from hard evidence that the mismatch between modern diet, lifestyle, and environment and our basic human biology is the primary driver of chronic disease. What our bodies need, biologically speaking, is not what our bodies get in the modern world. But when we align with these needs by consuming an ancestral diet and living a more ancestral lifestyle, our bodies respond—they heal.

That’s right, there’s science behind this approach, despite the pervasive myth that conventional medicine is “evidence-based” and Functional Medicine is not. Rest assured, if a Functional Medicine clinician tells you to reduce your exposure to artificial light in order to help manage your stress, reduce your risk of disease, or even address issues like diabetes and obesity, it’s because there’s research that supports that connection.

From Resistance to Revolution: Moving into the Mainstream?

Functional Medicine offers a methodology for addressing the root cause of chronic disease so patients can get well—and stay well—without unnecessary drugs and surgery. Sounds good, right? So why isn’t everybody already practicing this way?

The famous saying goes: “All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” For a while, Functional Medicine was ignored. More recently, some large conventional organizations have issued statements about Functional Medicine, a sign that it’s gaining traction. Although it isn’t yet mainstream, many caregivers acknowledge this new medical approach as the self-evident solution to the current broken conventional model.

The success of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine, where Dr. Mark Hyman is clinical director, has opened the eyes of many, including healthcare professionals who once doubted the potential of this medical model. The Cleveland Clinic is regarded as a prestigious medical institution, often on the forefront of the newest treatments, therapies, and diagnostic procedures.

But it’s not just “the experts” who are talking more about Functional Medicine; more patients who want their healthcare experience to be true healthcare are also seeking it out. Cleveland Clinic has a waiting list thousands of patients long. My own clinic, California Center for Functional Medicine (CCFM), has grown to include clinicians, a nurse practitioner, a health coach, nutritionists, and an administrative staff in order to meet the growing need. And increasingly, more practitioners all over the country are discovering that Functional Medicine holds the real answers—and more healthy benefits—for their patients.

Functional Medicine 201: Your Next Steps

I hope this article has adequately answered the question it began with and provided you with a good overview of this revolutionary approach to medicine. That said, there’s much more ground to cover. Want to dig deeper?

Prospective patients:

Check out my podcast, “RHR: Bringing Functional Medicine to the Masses – with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee.”

Ready to visit a Functional Medicine clinic? Use our directory to find practitioners near you.

Prospective practitioners:

Check out a recent episode of my Revolution Health Radio podcast on building a career in Functional Medicine.

See if the Kresser Institute’s ADAPT Practitioner Training Program is right for you.

Pick up a copy of my book, Unconventional Medicine.

Do you or does someone you love have a chronic disease? Have you considered a Functional Medicine approach before? Comment below and share your story.

The post What Is Functional Medicine? appeared first on Chris Kresser.

What Is Functional Medicine? published first on https://brightendentalhouston.weebly.com/

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tuthillscopes-blog · 7 years

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Bioethicist: The Climate Crisis Calls For Fewer Children

check it out @ https://tuthillscopes.com/bioethicist-the-climate-crisis-calls-for-fewer-children/

Bioethicist: The Climate Crisis Calls For Fewer Children

Earlier this summer time, I discovered myself in the center of an active debate due to my focus on global warming and also the ethics of getting children.

NPR correspondent Jennifer Ludden profiled a number of my operate in procreative ethics by having an article titled, Should we be having kids in the age of climate change?, which summarized my printed views that we have to consider adopting a small family ethic as well as going after fertility reduction efforts as a result of the threat from global warming. Although environmentalists for many years have concerned about overpopulation for a lot of reasons, We highly recommend the fast-approaching thresholds in global warming provide distinctively effective good reasons to consider taking real action to slow population growth.

Clearly, this concept struck a nerve: I had been at a loss for the response within my personal email inbox in addition to op-eds in other media outlets and also over 70,000 shares on Facebook. I’m satisfied that a lot of people required time to see and think about the piece.

Getting read and digested that discussion, I wish to continue it by answering probably the most vocal criticisms of my very own work, including research on population engineering the intentional manipulation of population size and structure Ive completed with my colleagues, Mike Earl and Colin Hickey.

In a nutshell, the assorted arguments against my views that Im overreacting, the economy will tank yet others havent altered my conviction that we have to discuss the ethics of getting children within this era of global warming.

How bad will things get?

Some comments individuals claiming global warming is really a hoax, devised by individuals who would like to control the worlds sources aren’t worth answering. Since 97 percent of all relevant experts cannot convince global warming skeptics from the fundamental scientific details, then nothing I only say can change their brains.

Other difficulties, however, require an answer. Lots of people reacted to my focus on procreation ethics by saying global warming won’t be so bad, and thus curbing individual desires, for example getting children, in the name is unnecessary fear-mongering.

Within my work, I would recommend that 1.5-2 levels Celsius warming over preindustrial levels is going to be harmful and incredibly bad, while 4 levels C is going to be catastrophic and can leave large segments of the world largely uninhabitable by humans. This is a very brief survey from the evidence for individuals claims according to things i consider trustworthy sources.

At 1.5-2 degrees C, a global Bank report predicts a rise in extreme weather occasions, deadly prolonged high temperatures and severe water stress. Food production will decrease, and altering disease vectors can create unpredictable infectious disease outbreaks. Ocean levels will rise, mixing with elevated storm severity to put seaside metropolitan areas in danger. The Planet Health Organization (WHO) estimates that in the years 2030-2050 once we achieve this degree of warming a minimum of 250,000 individuals will die each year from are just some of the weather-related harms.

Possibly a lot of us in wealthy countries (the united states who may be studying this) is going to be largely protected against these early harms however that doesnt make sure they are less real towards the vulnerable citizens of, say, Bangladesh, Kiribati or the Maldives. Actually, it escalates the injustice, because the global wealthy have taken advantage of and led to global warming probably the most, as the global poor is going to be hurt first and worst.

IMG 2 TT Its broadly recognized the global poor will disproportionately suffer the effects of global warming. Here people displaced by flooding in Pakistan this year fall into line for water. Asian Development Bank, CC BY-NC-ND

At 4 degrees C warming, the planet Bank predicts that each summer time month is going to be hotter than any current record heat wave, making the center East, North Africa and also the Mediterranean deadly throughout the summer time several weeks. Many seaside metropolitan areas is going to be completely under water, and all sorts of low-laying island nations will probably need to be abandoned. Vast sums, otherwise vast amounts of people turn into climate refugees, his or her homelands become uninhabitable.

According to these descriptions, I uphold my predictions.

No, environmentalists dont hate babies

Other critics have contended that promoting for any lower birth rate = hating babies or just being anti-life.

Clearly I do not hate babies! Im pretty wild about my very own kid, and small humans generally.

This anti-existence charge is much more interesting, but equally wrong. The idea appears to become that individuals who would like to lower fertility rates should be misanthropic, or miss out on the need for humans. However that will get things exactly backwards: A radical concern for global warming is strictly motivated with a concern for human existence particularly, a persons lives that’ll be impacted by climate disruptions.

An invaluable philosophical contribution here’s the distinction between making people happy and making happy people. After I feed a hungry person, or prevent a harm from befalling someone, I improve an individuals well-being. However when I produce a person whom I’ll then feed and stop from harm, I make an individual who will predictably be rich. Within the first situation, I added happiness around the world by helping a current person whereas within the second situation, I added happiness by creating an individual who is going to be happy. Begin to see the difference?

I, like many philosophers, think that its morally easier to get people to happy rather than make happy people. Individuals who exist curently have wants and needs, and protecting and supplying on their behalf is motivated by respect for human existence. It’s not a injury to someone to not be produced.

Actually, I’d argue that it’s more anti-existence you prioritized creating new existence over taking care of, or perhaps not harming, individuals who already exist.

Can the economy grow with lower population growth?

Another opposing argument: People are not only seen consumers they’re also producers, and thus can make the planet better.

Yes, humans are producers, and lots of wonderful everything has originate from human genius. But each individual, other things they’re (genius or dunce, producer or continue the economy) is another consumer. Which is the only real claim needed to become concerned about global warming.

The issue here’s we have a finite resource ale the Earths atmosphere to soak up green house gases without strongly disrupting the weather and every additional person plays a role in the quantity of green house gas within the atmosphere. So although humans will hopefully save us (we all do, actually, anxiously need brilliant individuals to develop scaleable technology to get rid of carbon in the air, for example), the reply to this can’t be to possess as numerous babies as you possibly can, with the expectation this raises our possibility of solving the issue. Because each baby can also be an emitter, whether a genius or otherwise.

Lastly, theres the vista that lowering fertility rates will kill the economy.

Several commenters indicate low-fertility countries like Japan, Italia and Germany, and reason that problems felt by such countries are proof the real population crisis is our shedding fertility rate. We want more babies to develop into healthy youthful producers to help keep our economic engine humming.

The reality within this objection may be the following: An economy that needs infinite growth to become healthy is going to be injured in an enormous amount of finite sources. But when it is true our economies cant survive slowing or perhaps reversing population growth, then were in certain trouble regardless of what.

Why? Its simple logic that people cannot grow the population forever. We are able to either reflect now regarding how to safeguard our economy while going after a sustainable population, or we are able to disregard the problem until nature forces it upon us, possibly strongly and suddenly.

Ill conclude with one, final thought: I do not enjoy quarrelling for any small family ethic, or perhaps a population engineering plan. Despite snide accusations on the contrary, I recieve no research funds or other incentive to make this situation. Im quarrelling these points because Im genuinely concerned about the way forward for our world, and those who will inherit it, but difficult yet civil discussion may be the crucial initial step to creating that future one we will not be condemned for creating.

Travis N. Rieder, Research Scholar in the Berman Institute of Bioethics, Johns Hopkins University

This short article was initially printed on The Conversation. Browse the original article.

Find out more: http://www.iflscience.com/environment/bioethicist-the-climate-crisis-calls-for-fewer-children/

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michellelewis7162 · 4 years

Text

Mushroom Developing

In mushroom growing, the complying with actions are actually taken and it could last for up to fifteen full weeks or even lesser relying entirely on those specie of mushroom being actually developed.

How to Grow Mushrooms From Mushroom Growing Kits

The Magical Mushroom

Beginning your company with these suggestions

1. Regular upkeep

2. Living microorganism

3. Kinds of lumbers

4. Industrial drivers

5. Various aspects possessing an influence

Developing Button Mushrooms Using a Mushroom Growing Kit

The Secrets to Mushroom Growing

Other than spores and also the sort, what do mushrooms need to have?

0 notes

michellelewis7162 · 4 years

Text

Mushroom Developing

In mushroom growing, the complying with actions are actually taken and it could last for up to fifteen full weeks or even lesser relying entirely on those specie of mushroom being actually developed.

How to Grow Mushrooms From Mushroom Growing Kits

The Magical Mushroom

Beginning your company with these suggestions

1. Regular upkeep

2. Living microorganism

3. Kinds of lumbers

4. Industrial drivers

5. Various aspects possessing an influence

Developing Button Mushrooms Using a Mushroom Growing Kit

The Secrets to Mushroom Growing

Other than spores and also the sort, what do mushrooms need to have?

0 notes