#therentyoupay advice

[therentyoupay]

Hiiii I need help

I’m having trouble writing a fight scene between two characters in a relationship. I don’t want it to be a break up sort of fight, just a healthy spat between lovers that will make their relationship all the stronger after they resolve it. But I’m not really well versed in “healthy conflict” so I was hoping you’d have some questions to keep in mind/tips experience you could share because you’re an amazing writer 🙏🏻

HELLO MY DARLING

first, thank you so much for your sweet words. 😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏 second, i have been pondering your question for a day and a half!

i have been really thinking about it and i have some initial thoughts… but i am sure that this post will just be the start of an ongoing conversation. i think the word i have been chewing on is “healthy.” on the one hand, there are certain things that most people might universally agree as “healthy conflict” in a relationship (or nearly universally), and then there are things that are very culture-dependent (and i do not mean this necessarily in the essentialist sense, i.e., nation-state-as-culture, but also in terms of ‘doing culture’ according to family, friends, region, socioeconomic status, social rank, behaviors, etc.). and then there are things in each relationship that may be less healthy than the ideal but still healthy in the long run, in the sense that it provides space for growth; couples have horribles fights that nearly tear them apart but, for whatever reason, don’t. in my experience, both in life and in fiction, sometimes i think these can often be the hardest, toughest fights, because they have the lowest lows but the highest potential for hope/resolution/something better.

if i am thinking on what it is about these fights that make them so painful and exhausting and “i just want to find a way to fix this but i can’t see the way forward and i am going to stay because i love them but i don’t have the tools right now to get out of this hole,” here’s what comes to mind:

both people are in pain

somehow, trust has been lost to some degree

one or both people do not currently feel safe, either from judgment or abandonment… maybe both… maybe something else too

a disagreement may turn “ugly” so quickly when things that are shared in confidence are thrown back in someone’s face, or some vulnerable sticking point that is supposed to be protected is being used against them in the heat of the argument because things begin to escalate so quickly

at what point can one person step in and find a space to pause/timeout; table the conversation; de-escalate? if neither can, the fight gets worse. if at least one can… that could be the turning point for a softer resolution, even if the other person needs additional coaxing or convincing to join them in the de-escalation. can both suddenly or eventually pause and de-escalate? through humor? through a release of emotion at the core under the anger, like tears and sadness?

at some point during these fights, or perhaps after, one or both might start to feel shame… for their behaviors, their reactions, their words… how can one person bridge the gap that was created when one or both crossed a line? (or many lines?) sometimes all it can take is a hug to lessen the divide, and sometimes apologies are necessary, and plans for changing behaviors, and explanations, or any combination. so how does one (or both) handle their apology? are they both good at taking accountability and learning at this stage in their relationship? do they make good on their promises to change, or at least try? (we are human after all!)

does the resolution match the degree of the fight? if something was weaponized, has it been dismantled by the end, or is it left hanging in the air, even after the apology or de-escalation?

definitely lots to think about! i think the degree of “healthy” is going to depend on a lot of factors, and will inevitably also be influenced by your readers’ personal experiences and what they bring to their interpretations! but definitely things to potentially keep in mind: who is in pain and why? what tools do they have to resolve the pain? are they scared to solve it or not solve it (or both)? how well can they solve it at this moment in time—or later?

thank you for the ask!!!! 💕💕💕💕 good luck and keep me posted!!! i hope these are helpful. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

also, others: please feel free to add additional thoughts and considerations!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

#sanfangirl #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay advice #my love you shall build your healthy conflict skills and tools as well!!! keep building all your life!!!

[therentyoupay-deleted]

hi all

🥲🥲 my account, @therentyoupay, was terminated today while i was eating dinner.

i have contacted tumblr support but reddit says that getting reinstated is really hit or miss. i don’t trust tumblr anymore so i don’t think i will be using it after this, even if they give me my account back. i have no idea what triggered its termination.

all posts from the last eleven years, as well as my fic-only blog (@therentyoupay-fanfiction), my advice blog, my organized fandom event blogs (@evenly-matched and @jelsaweekend), and my main have all been terminated. all the tumblr-only fic, the master posts, the manifestos, mutuals who i had not yet gotten phone numbers for, and fanart—gone.

will i be able to get it reinstated? i don’t know. even if i do, i think it’s a sign that it’s time to move away from tumblr.

it feels weird. i feel okay and also a little bereft. i hadn’t used tumblr for three years at one point but it was always nice to know that i could come back to it.

not sure if there is anything better than tumblr at this point. i think it might be time to just make a website of my own; or just stick to ao3.

i’ll use this account for now as a catchall for anyone who might be trying to find me. otherwise, the surest bet, for now, is ao3 and ao3 only.

thanks all 💕💕

💕kris, therentyoupay

update: therentyoupaywriting.com ♡

#jelsa #jelsa fanfiction #snowtpnetwork #tahnorra #tahnorra fanfiction #therentyoupay #therentyoupay fics #this whole situation has been total shit but it's also resulted in getting some phone numbers from mutuals and it pushed me to finally focu #on self-marketing as a fanfic-writer-turned-phd-dissertation-writer-turned-novelist-and-nonfiction-writer #!!!! #we're calling this 'controlling what you can when things feel out of control'

[therentyoupay]

just want to quickly tell you that i really admire your dedication in completing your 'at the center' fiction, which is WOW, absolutely commendable!! ( and expanding other drabbles as well??? i'm blown away ).

although we've only been following each other recently, i hope to be like you someday and have the motivation to keep posting updates for my fics no matter how long it takes 🥹 okay that's all and have a very nice day!!

thank you!! 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏💖💖💖💖 so much!!! for your sweet comments and for the encouragement and for dropping by to leave a message 😭😭💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🙏🙏 I HOPE YOU, TOO, HAVE A VERY NICE DAY ✨

and i'd like to also take a moment to say a few words about (✨forging, fostering✨) the motivation to keep posting updates for fics (no matter how long it takes!!!!), but first, i'd also like to very briefly share with you two of my all-time favorite fanfiction WIPs (one is ongoing 20+ years, and the other is 10+) to help contextualize my response:

#1. ————

More Than Human (Words: 332,245 | Complete: No) by sbj "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." - Camus {High School AU!RrB/PpG}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 31, 2009

LAST UPDATED: June 18, 2019

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 10 years, 4 months, and 21 days

#2. ————

Re-Entry (Words: 568,178 | Works: 22 | Complete: Yes) and Re-Entry: Journey of the Whills (Words: 923,940 | Works: 59 | Complete: No) Obi-Wan Kenobi, while still a young Padawan, suffers an injury and wakes up with all of the memories, experience, training, and Force-strength of Old Ben Kenobi. {Time Travel AU!Star Wars Re-Write} by flamethrower

FIRST PUBLISHED: October 1, 2002

LAST UPDATED: December 30, 2022

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 20 years, 3 months, and 6 days

————

these WIPs are only two examples! tons of my favorite stories have spanned multiple years of progress!

mine! ————

at the center (Words: 395,094 | Complete: No) by @therentyoupay Legends and fairy tales, magic and myths, and—at the center of it all—a story of a young, future-Queen and her young, ageless-Guardian; a girl cursed with fear and a god frozen in time, and all of the reasons why seeing isn't always at the heart of believing. {Guardian AU!Jelsa}

FIRST PUBLISHED: January 17, 2014

LAST UPDATED: January 2, 2024

As of January 7, 2024, the chapter updates span 9 years, 11 months, and 22 days (happy almost 10th anniversary!! ✨)

thoughts & feelings! ————

everyone writes at their own pace, in their own time, with the best resources they have, according to whatever life stage(s) they are at 💕

~most readers generally express gratitude and understanding and patience! fandom culture (across fandoms) shifts and changes all the time, so while there are times in fandom (generally) in which the ✨entitled expectation✨ is for fic authors to "WRITE FAST, PUBLISH OFTEN," there are also times in which readers go out of their way to share beautifully encouraging messages like "even if you never update again, i am so grateful for what you have given us (so far)!" and "i will wait for this story to update for the rest of my life, and i will be happy with an update no matter how long it takes" and, often—both messages at the same time. 💖

a good skill to develop is the mental strength to withstand the not-so-nice messages while absorbing the positivity of the lovely ones! i don't post or respond to the really nasty anons i sometimes receive 👀 like the ones that accuse me of having "abandoned nearly all [my] fics"—i personally delete them immediately! anons like that do not deserve someone else's ✨energy✨. (for the first time—i think, ever?—i did post someone's confusing? rude? anon the other day [i.e., i am a hoarder who creates suffering by withholding fic updates?? i think??], but i attribute that choice to publicly post [my reaction gif to that anon] to my current Life Stage™ and my hard-earned self-confidence in the knowledge that I Can Do Hard Things. ✨ my development of that muscle has come from finishing other long-progress fanfics, and, to be honest, Real Life Milestones like going to grad school [twice] and Doing a Dissertation ✨). all in all, the motivation to keep updating is really, at its core, about having the will and the time and the mental energy and the passion to dedicate time to something that you really want to do, even through all the obstacles and nonsense, which takes mental (and emotional) strength! 💖 develop and fortify your mental fortitude! 💖💖💖💖 it's a lifelong process! ✨

and lastly, and most importantly, in my opinion... regardless of whether or not you think any potential readers might be out there (chances are there WILL BE, but that's not the point!!!), just keep writing... and write what you want, and write for yourself! whether you update in two days, or ten years, or twenty-two—do it, anyway!! 💖💖💖💖💖

LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, GOOD LUCK 💖✨ (and keep me posted lol)

#sareinadale #therentyoupay ask #jelsa #therentyoupay at the center #therentyoupay thoughts #THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE LOVELY ASK #also everyone else please feel free to chime in and add!!!! 💖💖💖💖 #therentyoupay advice

[therentyoupay]

How do you work up the motivation to continue a story you haven't written in a long time?

TIME itself, i think.

i think my fics are seasonal in that they correlate with certain seasons and with certain seasons of my life. 

my mermaid!au jelsa fic (frosted sea glass) is my ultimate summertime fix.

my lovesquare!miraculous ladybug fic (technical difficulties) is my “craving unnecessary angst due to painfully-necessary miscommunication” fic, which i tend to work on whenever i read something dissatisfying and go, “i must fix this uncomfortable feeling i have right now by writing something that i want to read myself.”

my epic!jelsa fic (at the center) is my favorite wintertime/true angst playground.

my lovepentagon!tahnorra fic (that one night) is my “oh look, kris is back in grad school AGAIN” fic. (i promise this phd and master’s in passing are the last degrees i’m getting, y’all.)

specifically, i’m feeling really incredibly attached to that one night right now because... i have just finished all of my classes for my phd program and i am, now, like tahno of that one night, writing my dissertation. 

i suddenly have life experience (blood sweat tears) that informs my understanding of his character in this fic in a way that simply was not possible for me when i first started writing it in 2012 as an undergrad (and likewise updating it as a master’s student). 

similarly, by taking long breaks from each fic and updating them over the course of five, ten years, and by hopping back and forth between fics, i feel like i am able to approach all of these storylines with fresh eyes and bring more and more life experience (and writing skill, i think, lol) every time i return to the story.

i used to get really bothered by comments/reviews/anons claiming that i’d abandoned stories if i hadn’t updated them in a few years, and i used to feel guilty about not updating as fast as other authors. 

but as much as i love when stories are written in relatively short windows (when authors can churn out entire, completed multi-chapter epics in a matter of months, which i have also technically done before), i’ve come to realize that my favorite fics are ones that have been in-progress for literal decades (e.g., re-entry by flamethrower, which started in at least 2002, if not earlier). 

so these past three years, as i’ve been focusing full-force on my phd—which, by the way, requires an ASTRONOMICAL AMOUNT OF WRITING—i’ve worried less and less about forcing myself to update fic “quickly” (or at all, lol) and realizing that if i want to finish old fics that i haven’t touched in a longtime, then i have to treat them just like my dissertation, like my doctoral program: it is not a sprint but a marathon. 

so, my advice is to keep living your life and, when you feel ready to write for your old fics, write them (and then write LIKE CRAZY, LET IT FLOW, EVEN IF IT’S NOT “GREAT,” JUST GET IT OUT AND KEEP WRITING). 

don’t worry about pushing yourself to write a certain thing for the sake of writing that certain thing if it’s going to make you want to write less. instead, write something else! (usually writing one thing leads to writing MORE and/or to writing OTHER things too). eventually, you’ll come back to the old fics, even if it takes five, ten, fifteen years, and that’s okay.

happy (marathon) writing!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

#therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay writes #therentyoupay advice

[therentyoupay]

It's me again—the anon who asked about how you got into writing and stuff. Thank you so much for taking time answering my last ask. Just one last question tho. What books/kind of stories would you recommend for someone like me who's trying to get better at writing? You are such a blessing (+your writings) and I do hope you'd live a great life. :) Thank you x100

oh snap, i am opening this one up to all of tumblr, but especially to my beta @dragonsinparis!! if anyone were to have specific recs for cool shit to read on this topic, it would be her 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼✨✨✨

in the meantime, i’d like to repeat and expand upon something that was once told to me, which has really resonated with me over the years:

first, READ ALL SORTS OF SHIT.

read beautiful, high-quality, gorgeously written prose. read stories with shitty grammar. stories with plot-holes but with great emotional gravitas, read stories that are superficial and predictable and trite and cliche and interesting. read stories with great characterization, read stories with just-okay characterization. read fiction and non-fiction and poetry and freeform and fanfiction and drabbles. read first person point-of-view and and third person omniscient and limited and goddammit even though it FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT, maybe some second person-perspective, too. read all sorts of kinds of styles and authors. read works from seasoned authors and talented authors and authors who are just starting out. READ LOTS. 

it is, of course, absolutely okay and only natural to gravitate towards certain styles or tropes or genres, and to wish to spend more time with “higher-quality” stories, in whatever such standards as appeals to you, but the ultimate point is: you can learn from anything, and you can learn from anyone. you learn different lessons from different experiences. so, at least every once in a while—why not broaden the spectrum of learning?

second, CONSIDER.

during all the reading that you do, what do you notice? it’s not always so much about what you like or don’t like, although that is, majorly, a huge deciding factor for many people in why they’d choose to continue reading a story or not. but for the purpose of this exercise, as a fellow writer, don’t let the ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ be the be-all, end-all to your decisions. instead, also consider: as a writer, what do you wind up thinking about while you read? 

where does the story lead you? (how can you use similar storytelling tactics to engage readers in similar ways?) is there a plot device that captures your attention? (could you create something in the same vein? how could you make it your own, for your own characters or story?) is there a favorite line? how does the author (or the authors) capture the actions and emotions in language? (what do you notice more: the feelings they evoke, or the language they use? what is more important to you as a reader? as a writer? what are the relationships between emotion and language? what are some ways that authors capture the nuances between them?)

so now you’ve made some pretty messy, particular, precise observations, and you’re probably actively thinking about the work you’re reading as not only a story but maybe also a gateway into the author’s thought processes. this in itself may not be anything new—this is, after all, in many ways similar to what we try to accomplish in traditional english language and literature classes—but perhaps by now you are also regarding all of these judgments and questions and observations with the vital understanding that you, too, are an author. by reading all of these different kinds of stories, you are also opening your writing toolbox to new tools, new ideas, new skills, new language, new new new new. some good, some bad, but lots new. they are new TOYS TO PLAY WITH.

third, GIVE FEEDBACK.

in any community of creation, feedback is vital. feedback helps us grow. i’m not referring necessarily to ‘reviews’ or ‘comments’ or ‘kudos’ or ‘reblogs’ or ‘likes’. i mean, FEEDBACK. 

give feedback, get feedback—to and from trusted individuals on whom you can rely to give you honest opinions in ways that will jive with your communication styles. people who will help challenge your decisions, make you explain yourself or clarify or okay, really, do we ACTUALLY need two paragraphs of this!?! throughout your works, which are, in reality, tiny, delicate, beautiful, strong, fragile pieces of your proud, vulnerable soul. find people who can help you see your works more clearly, who can help you bring out the better versions of them. 

and, just as importantly, give constructive feedback when you can—to trusted individuals, to strangers, to idols, to peers, to anybody and everybody. there are no barriers, no hierarchies, no perceived rankings—just writers, who all want to grow and improve and hone their craft. doing so respectfully and clearly and openly will not only provide the author you’re studying with additional resources and insights into their audience, but will also help you practice looking constructively at writing as a peer. it is worth mentioning that everyone is at their own different stages in learning how to accept constructive feedback, so keep this in mind, especially if authors choose to respond to your comments. writers are learning learning learning creatures, all of us.

not sure what to say? sometimes the simplest and smallest notes can make a huge difference. try telling a writer how a line made you feel, or if a phrase caught your attention for any particular reason (or no reason at all), or if you really liked the way a character behaved. tell authors that you liked the title they chose for a chapter or you liked the double-entendre you noticed or feel free to ask a question about something you didn’t understand. let the author know how you interpreted a situation, share your perspective, and all the while, think about how such things relate to your own creations, and how your works may impact readers of your own.

and, of course:

in general, WRITE. WRITE, WRITE, WRITE (MORE).

#hope this was helpful nonnie non♡♡♡ #therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay faq #therentyoupay on writing #fanfiction #writing #dragonsinparis #long post #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

Just curious, aside from Scriviner, is there any other word processor that you use to write your stories? I use both Google Docs and OpenOffice.

a whole bunch! here they are according to (1) type of stories, (2) listed in order of preference:

processors i currently use for fanfiction:

Scrivener. honestly, it’s my everythinngggggggg. most often, i will write it all out in scrivener, and then—if it’s gonna be beta’d—copy/paste it into Google Docs for editing. [about 90% of my fanfiction happens here.]

Google Docs: i actually don’t use google docs to do any of my physical writing. i mostly and especially love using google docs for proofreading fanfiction because it so seamlessly facilitates the flow of the author-beta feedback conversation(s). abigail and i love to beta each other’s fics on google docs because of the near effortless use of the comments. there’s also the ‘suggested edits’ feature that can be super helpful. (although we really don’t use it that much, now that i think about it.) we especially love watching the other read and beta our stories in real time. 👍🏼

TextEdit: basic processor. sometimes i just need a blank canvas and some super simple font on a page. no real need to use fancy formatting, not even italics or bold text—but the choice is there, if i want it. just words. [about 2% of my fanfiction starts here.]

Notes: on my iPhone, this is how i usually write. i’ll save it to my icloud, then copy/paste it once i get to my laptop. [about 8% of my fanfiction starts here.]

processors i used to use for fanfiction, and am still (mostly) okay with:

OpenOffice: i don’t use this anymore, but i used to love it! i especially loved loved loved that it started to remember my most frequently used words and enabled word prediction. when i used openoffice word prediction, i could sometimes bring my 105 words per minute typing speed up to almost 150wpm. i just haven’t downloaded it on my new laptop because i met my match with scrivener, tbh.

Pages: honestly, apple has made this shit so much better recently?! i used to use it on my iPad to write fic, and i hated it, but it was a necessary evil… mostly because it was included in the software. but now that shit is so impressive compared to what it used to be?! if i didn’t use scrivener and i wanted a reliable processor for storytelling, this is what i would use. 

Microsoft Word/Office: i liked the second-to-most-recent version of this… mostly because i got it free as a graduate student with my university. i don’t know about the newest version, but i hear that it’s totally different. i appreciated having it, but never in a million years would i have bought it for myself. openoffice covered so many bases, for free! and pages, once it got updated, definitely became another attractive alternative to microsoft word. 

processors i used to use for fanfiction, and would not use again:

EverNote: i was all for this godforsaken app/website. (now that i look back on it… evernote kind of aspires to be like scrivener in terms of that ‘all-out-organization,’ but evernote really truly cannot compare; scrivener is created specifically with writers in mind.) it almost got to the point where i was using it almost exclusively to write fanfiction. and then one day a few years ago it ate/lost/destroyed over a dozen drabbles i’d written (but not bothered to save anywhere else), and i gave up on it completely, immediately. (i also reverted back to my previous ways of triple-saving everything, all the time, in various organized locations.) i am still exceptionally bitter about it. haven’t used it for anything writing-related since.

OmmWriter: i absolutely fucking loved the concept of this---the minimalism, the soft indistinct background noise/music, the gentle tapping of keystrokes, the “there is nothing else on your computer screen but THIS, right now,” i loved THE WHOLE SHEBANG. but then it came time to copy/paste/upload my fics from ommwriter to FFNET or AO3, and the realization of just how much work one must go through to properly re-format the content after its been created in the ommwriter text document (which, by the way, didn’t allow for bold or italics back when i was using it), it just wasn’t worth the aesthetic for me. i also realized soon enough that plenty of word processors offer that “full screen, no distractions, JUST THE BLANK CANVAS” view option, too. i don’t actually use that feature very much myself, but it’s nice to know that other word processors offer it. 

processors i use for original fiction:

(old school) notebooks: just for quick notes, until i can transfer them to scrivener! 

Scrivener provides such glorious organization for research, brainstorming, note-taking, and snippets of story scenes… i honestly don’t know how i was writing in any processor before scrivener?! it absolutely meets all of my personal author-needs, organization preferences, and writing style.

Scrivener: this is it, tbh. this is my everything. this is where it’s all created, researched, stored, edited, etc. [about 100% of my original fiction happens here.] 

hope this was helpful! ♡

#therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay faq #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay on writing #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

I just read all of Break the Ice (as in all three installations) and I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I'm a huge fan of Tahnorra and it was just SO PERFECT. Anyways, I loved how you posted your musical inspirations to each one (I love and listen to almost all of the songs) and I wish I could write to musical inspiration, or actually just write! Any types for a young girl wanting to learn how to write some seriously awesome Fanfic?

thank you so much!! 😍  it makes me so glad to hear that you’ve found some new music through my quick recs! (that’s often how i find great new music too, ha♥)

IMPROVING ONE’S WRITING:

to try to help give some starting points, i have a few personal answers to specifics question regarding writing, planning, and character development at my faq! (i have a few posts tucked away that needed to be added as links to the faq actually, so i will go take take care of that now, too.)  

other than that, if someone would like to get better at writing, i recommend that they:

PRACTICE.WRITE.WRITE LOTS.WRITE MORE.WRITE AGAIN.KEEP WRITING.

i am also currently obsessed with lin-manuel miranda’s quote on the matter of writing:

"And you write until the rust comes out of the faucet, and it’s clear water, and then you write down the clear water." --- lin-manuel miranda, talking about writing on charlie rose

write write write write, share your writing, get feedback, write write write write write. write about things you see, things you imagine, prompts generated randomly or by request, write what you yourself would like to read, write something you’ve never written before, write and share and read and keep practicing. ♡

#therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay on writing #therentyoupay faq #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

This may sound a little weird, but do you have a day planner or agenda that you use to help with time management? If so, would you mind dropping a link? If you don't use one, do you create a visual chart or something? I really liked your posts on time management and it's something I really need to improve on. The only reason I ask is b/c I'm want to prepare myself for when I go back to uni in the fall.

whoops this is WICKED LATE, hope everything is going well, SORRY SORRY SORRY. D: D: D: D: and hey, questions about planners are DEFINITELY NEVER WEIRD, planners are awesome, I TOTALLY GET IT.

i answered this around a year ago on @kris-advice, but my planner tactics are actually currently in the process of changing, haha. i still keep to my old strategies (see below), but now i am also adding a new layer of organization, too. i will get to that in a minute. 

in the meantime, here are some previous posts about my current planner strategies, with links and even some visual images:

usual, everyday-use (monthly) planner | high-volume tasks, self-made planner

now, in addition to my everyday-use (month-at-a-glance) gorgeously colorful planner from paper source, i also have made a valiant effort to start utilizing google calendar as well. i’ve tried and started and stopped with the digital agendas and planners so many times, but have always drifted away from using them after a bit because i cherish having a tangible planner. the thing is, my new schedule doesn’t really jive as well with carrying around a beat-up calendar book anymore (i.e. coaching a group of beginner kayakers), so i am reaching a compromise:

google calendar: for daily outlook, updating last-minute changes (especially when my actual planner is not on hand), and double-checking immediate or short-term availability, knowing what the next day or next three, four days will bring by glancing at a small phone screen

paper source booklet planner: month-at-a-glance, long-term planning, looking for patterns and overall availability, knowing what the next few weeks will bring just by looking at a single page spread

i keep both of them in sync and updated and matching as often as possible, at least once a day! my schedule changes constantly, so it’s a bit of upkeep, but it’s really not much work at all to make sure the two strategies match. i really appreciate and value having both resources to keep on track of everything, so this will probably be my means of organization for a little while yet. 👍🏼

glad the previous posts were helpful! i hope you will find these resources helpful too, or at least will be motivated to look into other options that are a better fit for you! if you find any others, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. 👊🏼👊🏼

#kris advice #therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

Hi Kris. Just a writing advice question, if you don't mind. :) How do you get yourself in the zone to write and keep the distractions away? (By the way, I love your Jelsa Soulmate AU and cannot *wait* until the next update!

thank you, nonny!!! hope this is at least a tiny bit helpful! ♡ these are just sort of general habits that i sometimes do or don’t do, so feel free to pick and choose as you see fit, whatever works for you and YOUR WRITING ADVENTURES. 🙌🏼

EDIT: i added this to the FAQ. now you can find both:

writing, in general:

is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing?

how do you get yourself in the zone to write and keep the distractions away?

rituals for getting in the zone:

de-clutter my workspace, quickly tidy/organize my desk (clutter distracts/DEVASTATES me).

ready a drink, brew a cup of tea/coffee, refill the water bottle, pour a glass of wine, what have you, pick your fuel.

open up a good playlist on 8tracks, spotify, usually something i’ve already used/found before so i don’t waste time looking for new ones (i go searching and/or collect playlists during other times, specifically when i’m not writing)

break out a writing notebook, just so i have it at the ready in case i want to jot something down by hand instead of marking it on whatever app i have open on my phone/laptop

alert my peoples who are most likely to message/text me that i am going into the writing zone and will probably not be answering for a WHILE (literally ask anyone who tried to communicate with me yesterday, i was so inaccessible, omg).

but really, i go (temporarily) OFF THE GRID: close down internet browsers, shut off wi-fi, silence (or turn off) the phone, whatever.

review any notes, ideas, dialogue, etc. from fic planning and drafts that will be used.

BUCKLE DOWN. get pumped. 

tactics (????) for staying in the zone:

here’s some things i do that help me keep going for hours when i otherwise might have said, “that’s enough for today.” like when i just may not have a lot of time to write and i need to write a lot quickly, or like this weekend where i set a strict deadline for myself and say ‘I AM GOING TO WRITE A DISGUSTING AMOUNT OF READING MATERIAL IN A SINGLE DAY, I’M ABOUT TO FUCKING DO IT’ and i give it my best shot:

for me 97% of this is just POWERING THROUGH. like. i SIT DOWN and keep writing. but i mean it. I JUST KEEP WRITING. 

jump around, write different scenes or parts of scenes. if you’re writing a multi-chapter, write for future chapters or glance back at/re-read old chapters. see what you can pick up from looking back and see if writing future scenes can help you move the current scene(s) forward, or maybe alter the pace of the story.

if you’re stuck or blocked, it sucks, i KNOW, but just write write write write even if it’s not what you were hoping for, because chances are by the second/third/eighth draft, it very well could be. (i know this too, lol. JUST ASK MY BETAs.)

even if i think it’s shit and i scrap 80% of it out later, WRITE IT. (SIDE NOTE: seriously, don’t actually trash anything! just throw it into a scrap file for future pondering!! save everything, but store it in a different place! it’s interesting to come back to that shit later.) just write it, ‘scrap’ it if you want to/get it out of your sight, but get it out first! getting words out onto the page will prompt new ideas or show you what you don’t want after all or it will come out nice and you’ll think “huh, that actually turned out a lot better than i thought it would i’MMA KEEP GOING.” 

KNOW THYSELF AND THY WRITING APP PREFERENCES. most days i really like to use my scrivener (which i got on SUPER SALE, courtesy of abigail ♡ and her miraculous link, seriously don’t buy it full-price, okay). other days i really like to write directly on google docs. some days i go rogue/old school and write in a motherfucking notebook, even though it’s a PAIN IN THE ASS to transfer to a doc, i don’t care, sometimes you just need a pen flying across the page.

wear headphones, if you can.

call up some cheerleaders. i don’t know how it started, but nowadays when it’s time to write, i have a small group of friends who i’ll usually text/message and be like “I AM GOING IN,” and they usually respond with a variety of supportive words/emojis ( “🙌🏼👍🏼👊🏼♥”). it adds a nice level of “squad + accountability.” i don’t know if i ever really thought about it like this until now, but i definitely ‘check-in’ with them every so often (maybe every half-hour, hour, during my quick ‘breaks’) and tell them how many words or scenes i’ve written and how i’m doing and the EMOJI CHEERLEADING PARADE CONTINUES, and wow, yeah, that’s really been working out for me, THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DONE THIS, you know who you are. ♥ (ALISONABIGAILJONATHANEMILYSOCKSXRISFUCKINGRINA)

BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING, and remind yourself often of this pride because WRITING IS HARD, DAMMIT. 👊🏼  good luck!

fun fact:

soooooooooooo this ask is actually really especially funny to me now, because when i first received it seven hours ago around 11am, my answer was clearly going to be something along the lines of “OH HEY, THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY RELEVANT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YESTERDAY I HAD A HEFTY DAY OF SOLID WRITING PRODUCTIVITY AND TODAY I HAVE THE SAME EXACT PLANS/HOPES/EXPECTATIONS.” however, within five minutes of typing out that very sentence, my friend texted me and said “meet us at the sam adams brewery for a tour at noon in FORTY-FIVE MINUTES,” which means that it’s now barely 6pm and i have spent the last five or six hours drinking, so as far as distractions go… yeeeeeaahhh. 😂😂😂

BUT NOW I AM BACK HOME AND READY TO WRITE, and above are some of the tricks that i’m going to pull while i do it, because i am officially six hours later into my allotted writing time than i expected to be, and i am TRYING to FINISH A FIC TONIGHT wish me luck. 🙌🏼

#therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay on writing strategies #HOPE THIS WAS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT HELPFULLLL #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

Hey Kris! I'm new to running and want to invest on a good pair of trainers, are there any you would recommend? (:

this is SO LATE, i am so sorry! (please feel free to message me again if you have any new updates!) firstly: WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF RUNNING. 🙌

running is fun and challenging and glorious, and i’m glad that you’re giving it a try! as you’ve probably gathered, running is different for everybody, but there are a few good rules of thumb. i’m no expert, but here’s my two cents…

when it comes to buying running shoes, there are a couple of important questions you should ask yourself. any good retailer or salesperson will ask you similar ones. here are a few:

why do you want to run?/what are you running for? (ex: jogging, road race competitions, trail runs, long distance?)

how many miles will you probably be running a week/month?

what is your type/alignment? there are different foot types and different shapes of shoes to match and support each kind. a trained specialist in a sports or running store should be able to help you identify what kind of support (if any) you need.

have you had any previous hip, knee, ankle, or feet issues and injuries? the type of shoe you have could possibly depend on the answer to this question. ex: i constantly battle/ward off my runners’ knees, and how flexible my shoe is (re: literally, how easily i can bend the sole) can make a huge difference.

how do they feel when you go on an actual test run (—not just a walk)? for me, it’s not enough to just walk around the store. some places are cool enough to have functioning treadmills so you can test them out, but when they don’t have any, you can guarantee that i will be making a few laps through the coat racks, lol. i have learned a lot about my potential running shoes this way.

me: after two years of cross-country and eight years of competitive road racing (including my first marathon!), i’ve found the perfect shoe for my current needs. brooks is my personal favorite brand, especially since they are good with reducing pronation, which is my running alignment. brooks ravenna has been my favorite shoe type/style for the last half a decade! i currently have the ravenna 6, and i started with ravenna 4. 

note: due to the number of miles that i regularly run, i keep two pairs of running shoes. one for home and one for the gym! i keep track of their mileage by using the nike+ running app and retire them as needed.

hope this helped!

#therentyoupay advice #therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay on running #Anonymous

[therentyoupay]

Heeeyy! I GOT MY SAT SCORES TODAY!!! I was soooo nervous I had my sister check them for me first. And I got 1800/2400! (and your SAT advice was AWESOME!! I got a 9!!) I was pretty excited till my sister said it was 'okaayy'. Now I'm feeling depressed. Because of that and I think my Mom knows about my score because she said I'm banned from listening to music while I study... :,,( Feeling REALLY depressed... Do you think this is a good score considering I'm only a Junior in high school?

firstly—CONGRATULATIONS ON HAVING COMPLETED THE EXAM!!! honestly, that exam is a gauntlet, and you did it!!

a “good” set of SAT scores is such a weirdly concrete and subjective concept all at once. yes, you are trying to get as many points as possible in all three sections of the test to get as high a number as possible out of 2400… but your scores, no matter what they are, are also competing with other people’s scores from all over. what makes a score a “good” score? in my experience…

it is mostly a matter of PERSPECTIVE, PERCENTILES, and PROGRAM. 

PERSPECTIVE:

when i took the SATs in 2007, i had what i considered to be “okay/decent” score, which was 1930. why did i view this as “decent/okay??” well, for starters, out of the seven students in my high school friend group, i was only one of two students who did not break the 2000s, and at least three of them had surpassed the 2200s.  i was second to last in the pool amongst my “brainy” friends, so that shaped my view of my scores in many ways. your mom could be hearing other people–in the news, the neighborhood, what have you–talk about what a “good” score is, and how it’s only this or that, and “THIS IS THE WAY TO GET HIGHER SCORES, NO MUSIC” and once these beliefs sink in–whether they are “true” or not–then there could be a number of misunderstandings at play. :( and i’ll get to the no music bit in a minute–that’s a whole other topic.

the point is, if people keep tossing out numbers (like 2000+) and expectations of what’s “good” and what’s not good, then it’s gonna stick in somebody’s brain at least a little bit, regardless of the next two factors in interpreting a set of scores–which are arguably more important. 

PERCENTILES:

a score is a score is a score, and that means something, but when it’s compared to other people’s scores, it can mean something a little different. have you looked at your percentiles yet? many schools base their standards for admissions (i.e. what “cut-off” scores they will require before they consider an application) based on national percentiles.

back in 2007, i had a writing score of 700 (essay: 11) , a reading comprehension score of 650 , and a math score of 580.

my writing score of 700 placed me in the 96th national percentile, so 96% of the population who took that test scored either the same as or lower than i did. i was very proud of that one! 

however, for my math score of 580, i was in the 71st national percentile. this made me worried about my place in the competitive applicant pool for the college that i wanted. while the score itself may have been a huge accomplishment given my challenges with math, i had to look at it in comparison with the rest of the players in the game… which leads us to the next bit.

(COLLEGE) PROGRAM:

lastly, and more importantly, my SAT score created some uncertainty in the “quality” of my chances of getting accepted because i was applying to a very competitive university!! at the time of early action application, i knew i had a “decent” shot of getting in, but making the honors program would have been a “farther reach” sort of goal. make no mistake: i was still worried about getting in! college apps are stressful times, pretty much no matter what. (it should be said that it’s also grown even more competitive. if i were to apply to my alma mater again, today, in these times, with my same SAT scores—i’m not sure i’d get in on scores alone. WHICH, AGAIN, WHY DO WE INSIST AS A NATION ON—)

what colleges are you applying to? what standards do they hold? are they one of these bright, shining beacons of progressiveness that make SAT scores an optional part of the application process? are they required? what are the strengths of your scores (your grades, your QPA/GPA, your resume, YOUR COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAY!! so important) compared to the strengths expected for your intended college program or major? it’s all relative. if you are a relatively strong writer and want to go into a writing program, perhaps your scores would be considered favorably by your college (program) of choice. if you are going into behavioral neuroscience, on the other hand, and your math score is not as strong as the rest of the population that applies for a seat at that university, then perhaps even a “good” score is not enough. 

tl;dr:

what makes a score a “good” score depends on perspective, percentiles, and (college) programs. some colleges put a lot of stock into SAT scores, and some colleges don’t. it all depends on your unique situation and what you hope to do with your scores. 

as for the music business, I COULD WRITE AN ENTIRE OTHER POST ON IT tbh, but i’ll save it for now, unless you’re really curious. my quick two cents is that it may not be so much about “music” as it is about “study skills” and “learning environment” and “learning needs” and “metacognition” and a whole other slew of things that relate to these topics but may not actually relate to music at all, but I DIGRESS. 

overall, my dear anonny, i hope you are feeling better and i hope that all this was at least a teensy bit helpful, and like you said, my dear—you are a junior and have time to adjust, adapt, and raise your score if you’d like to! just remember the SAT isn’t the be-all, end-all, even if everyone else in the world (including your college application process) wants to make it seem that way. it’s literally just one big game, and it sucks, but you can learn how to manipulate it to meet your needs. that’s another story altogether, and so many people are so much better equipped to share it than i, but I WISH YOU LUCK MY DEAR NONNY, and if there’s anything else i can help with in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to ask!!

#therentyoupay advice #abigail feel free to add change counter anything etc.

[therentyoupay]

Remember when I asked you what kind of questions you liked to ask yourself when you were building your characters' romantic relationships? Welllllllll, I can't find that post anymore and I would REALLY LOVE it if you linked it again. Or something like that. I need it most now. ;) Thanks! Have a great day!!

hey, nonny! i know exactly which post you’re referring to, but i’m afraid i didn’t organize it with the writing advice tags because i didn’t think anyone would want to find it later! D: sorry! i do have these posts though…

the { rent } you pay ‘s (not-so-quick-but-surely-dirty) sort-of-guide to writing really fucking long fanfiction ; 

{ PART i } : the basics (and on beginning–sort of){ PART ii } : when i just can’t fucking seem to write (anything)

i’ve also gotten in the habit of tagging all of these kinds of posts under #therentyoupay advice. hope this is helpful!

i’ll look for my romance-based post soon!

EDIT: AHA! found it! It’s from two months ago! (please don’t ask me to look for it again, because it will never be that easy again, lololol.)

#therentyoupay ask #therentyoupay anon #therentyoupay advice