#the very monster that would in turn destroy them. It's a solid concept! It fucks!

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

I’m basically in favor of alternate readings and I don’t consider it some kind of obligation to embrace the authors vision. And like in the case of SW specifically I get not always agreeing with George Lucas I mean he has written some racist shit occasionally and honestly even some of his benign concepts are kinda weird at times. Not everyone is gonna vibe with that. Still, I feel like if you’re gonna engage in analysis it is useful to acknowledge what the intention of the story was, even if to know where and why you’re re-interpreting it.

#also lol anti-satine crowd stop inventing shit to pad out your take and trying to pass your hcs off as canon. it's dumb and people do notice #anyway #despite GL's flaws I get along fairly well with many of his ideas. #it's a decent tragedy. gets good marks from me lol #and i do quite like his funky fantasy buddhism #his basic politics about democracy & fascism & resisting imperialism are not objectionable #etc #there's some stuff i don't like obviously but overall i'm happy with the story #I also would have enjoyed anakin's tragedy if it had been about the institutions of the republic destroying a boy and creating #the very monster that would in turn destroy them. It's a solid concept! It fucks! #But I like the more personal story we got too

[bananonbinary]

Holy shit there's a secret "genocide" alternate ending. It sounds super fake but it's NOT. https://youtu.be/lz_1uVYDhBA

okay so a friend already showed me a google doc about that route and it is WILD, but i hadnt seen the video. here's all my thoughts in a long reaction post:

umm?????? i was JUST speculating about who the angel could be, is it NOELLE? why is she the only one that can geno, why can't the player geno through just kris??? what does it MEAN to be able to be the angel? @ericvilas and i were talking about how this felt like noelle, susie, and berdly were the main characters, and we were just kinda...Also There, is there some sort of property that "main characters" have? the power to fundamentally change the state of the world from "zany adventure" to "fucked up horror", that we needed noelle to take advantage of? is that why we needed chara in undertale?

is "the angel" more than just a prophecy, but some sort of...RPG Game Role, that the genocidal player covets? why couldn't we fill that role in chapter one? why noelle and not susie? is it because ralsei wouldn't let us? or is noelle, daughter of the mayor, a secret Boss Monster? and the Angel has to be a human soul and a boss monster soul, like asriel and chara were?

why does NOELLE level up, but kris, the one who's soul we're in control of, doesn't?

.......

what if that's not kris' soul at all. what if we can't control them very well, and there's no Determination, because it's not a real human soul we're bonded to, just a crude facsimile created by gaster?

the similarities between being frozen solid and being turned into a statue as like, the only other thing we know of that "kills" a darkner is...i dont know what it means but its something.

wondering again if things *actually* happen when they're offscreen. did those things just happen because the player forced it through sheer force of will? Determination, if you will? and there wasn't any game mechanic to allow it, so reality itself just faded to a version where it was done?

oh, this video doesn't go all the way to the end, so i found another video that does.

DNAJSKFLNSADJKFNJKDSAL TOBY PLEASE I KNOW HES A SPAMBOT BUT YOU CANT PUT FUCKING "PIPIS" IN YOUR BAD ENDING HORROR VERSION OF THE STORY

i don't understand why us going geno lets a spambot take over. like, what about going on a murder spree that he was unrelated to gave him power?? it made sense in undertale for mettaton, undyne, and sans to become super powerful to fight us, but this is just like...Some Guy. he has nothing to do with anything.

HEY WHY THE HELL DOES THE SOUL TURN YELLOW???? is this echoing undertale's route because of multiverse shenanigans (ie, "time remembers what it used to look like" or some shit), when alphys gave us that power? because there is NO reason for us to have it here. there's no way the player would even know how to USE that mechanic without having first played undertale.

this feels like we somehow...modded the deltarune by doing geno. like it reskinned the mettaton ex fight, but like, thematically. like rather than reusing assets, it reused *concepts* from undertale and mixed them all up. but i don't know what that MEANS.

hey. hey. h e y. what does this mean dont fucking throw the undertale neutral ending at me what is HAPPENING. (also notice tho that "kris" is in the third person here. not "you." no idea what that means either)

again, it's like someone scrambled a lot of themes and disparate elements from undertale, but they make NO SENSE in this formation! it's like...a youtube poop of undertale. which is guess is appropriate for a spambot, but what am i supposed to DO with this toby????

?????????????????

oh god okay, so KRIS wanted their friends to save them from this fucking NIGHTMARE, but WE wanted noelle to come finish the job. i think that pretty firmly indicates it is indeed the PLAYER, and not KRIS who is evil here. god, poor kris. poor noelle. i am VERY suspicious now of whether closing the fountains is a good idea or not.

okay i already knew berdly fucking died at the end of this run, so this isn't a shock, but it IS startling to see an actual corpse. not turned to dust, not a statue, not frozen in place, actually just a dead body. that....i also don't know what that means.

god it feels so much worse actually to have destroyed the integrity of the game and then it just....keeps going. no one even knows the horrible things you did.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

okay so i think we're getting to a point that the Player is a genuine character, not literally us anymore. like, they have an agenda? they know somehow that noelle is important, even though we, the literal player didn't? it feels like this Entity may represent us in-fiction (like the mspa reader started out in homestuck), but in undertale the geno route was clearly like, "the version of us that dicked around just to see All The Content." this feels different. pre-meditated. they have a SPECIFIC plan, that somehow requires noelle, and jevil probably. hm. it feels like the player knows where the genocide route is going, and is doing it intentionally, even though we the audience obviously have no idea what will happen in chapters 3-5.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #dr spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 spoilers

[dodo-begone]

Ugly Fuckling

Pairing: Yandere!Xisuma x Reader

Request: mmm for requests: some soft yandere shit with any character, maybe??

Word count: 3.9K

Warning: yandere, cursing, depression (?), Anxiety (?), angst (to comfort), dissociation

Part 2 for this is Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

If this EVER looks funky/glitched (which it def is now) I have this up properly on Ao3.

__________________________________________________________

The shopping district made you uneasy. Life just seemed to course through the area. Even without anyone actually being there to give it the energy. It was cramped though; everything was practically on top of each other. Yet it gave such a homey feeling. Like everybody who made the buildings actually liked each other; they all were a representation of how everyone was different but still similar to a family. Standing in front of all of the shops made you feel intimidated. Small, insignificant, inadequate.

You start your journey through the district, looking and giving every build the attention it deserved. It was all in an attempt to imbed everything into your memory. After all, you wouldn’t be around for much longer. Someone like you, who was so alien to the server, shouldn’t just try and worm their way into such an amazing community like this. Especially when they have nothing to offer for said community.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

You hadn’t realized where you were walking until you stood in front of Grian’s barge. It was so gorgeous and well made. Grian told you how it began as a small little boat build and progressively grew to the giant floating market it is today. The story was awe inspiring; like an ugly duckling, it grew into something majestic after starting at such humble beginnings. Yet it did little to lift your spirits now. Yeah the barge started as a simple build, but it was still beautiful in its tiny state. And Grian had the talent and skill to make ginormous and intricate builds. You had neither of those abilities.

Slowly you made your way closer to the barge. At the entrance there were numerous posters all bunched together on a post. All for the mayoral campaign. They were so cute, each having a unique look. Representing their mayors very well. But Scar’s. Oh Scar’s was just elite. It was a plain wooden sign; a small but even more unique technique when compared to the others. Nothing beat some good ole fashioned petitioning. You let out a small giggle at the sight of Scar’s sign next to the others. It seemed very out of place. Seemed like a solid representation of you with the hermits. And at the same time it reminded you so much of the Dream smp.

The Dream smp… your old home. Calling the dream smp home feels wrong; you barely felt safe there, but you knew that you were wanted there. Even if just a few actually cared about you, loved you. You fit in so much better there. Your horrendous builds could easily blend in with the others or better yet, stand out amongst the surrounding disasters to look semi-decent. Yes there were actual beautiful builds, just like any other server, but they were few and far between. Those builds were under constant threat of being griefed or destroyed, just like all of the others. Yet everybody seemed mostly okay with it. They would be upset when it would be destroyed, like any normal person would. But they only had two options when presented with the rubble; pick up the fragments and rebuild from the ground up or forever abandon what was once a masterpiece.

With the hermits, there was order there. The chaos was controlled, which was an odd concept to you. Chaos on the Dream smp ran rampant, destroying anything in its path. And there even seemed to be a “type” of person that was deemed a “hermit”. Thought it was hard to pick out something that everybody had in common. But you knew one thing; you didn’t fit the description of a hermit.

On the Dream smp, everything was always on the brink of destruction and very tense. Things could change on the flip of a dime. Nothing was guaranteed. And yet you still wanted to go back there. To feel wanted, important, enough, to be validated. To be so much more than you were with the hermits. With the hermits, you were only an imposter; everything they said to or about you was a lie. Had to be a lie. Why else would you be like this super kinda and incredible person? The person they were describing wasn't even you. It was a whole different person, how could they not see that?!

Leaning against the outerwall of the barge, you slowly slide to the ground. You start a panoramic view from your new position. It only made you feel worse; you felt detached from your body. Like you were watching a movie of you and your life from an outsider’s view. But you had control of your body and could still kinda see through your eyes, which made it feel even weirder. So more like you were walking through a movie that you weren’t made for; a real person wandering the domain of a cartoon show.

A shaky breath breaks it way through your lips. Trails of tears soon start to trickle down your face, slightly obscuring the view you had. Suddenly the world becomes too big yet too small. Much duller, less important. Everything became too much yet not enough all at the same time. Soon the feeling overwhelmed you so much that you broke down into a sobbing mess. The wanted to hide your face in your hands and knees hung over you like a tsunami wave, but you knew you shouldn’t. These were your last moments and views of the hermitcraft server. Even if you couldn’t see clearly anymore. Any view was better than no view. You tried to muffle your cries; do anything to stay silent and unseen. Nobody really wanted to deal with a crying person. They just felt obligated to.

God you were such a burden on all of the hermits. You could barely support yourself with your shitty little farm. Barely any food was produced. And the hermits kept giving you stuff: ores, food, weapons, armour, just about anything you could think of. Golden carrots, golden apples, elytras, diamonds and netherite were the gifts that made you feel the worst. These were such wonderful, valuable, and useful items. Nobody would give them out for free, even to a friend. Especially as often as they did.

So you’d set out on a journey to figure out who’d gifted you stuff and return it immediately. First you just left them in a chest with a book or sign explaining that you didn’t want to accept their gift. It felt wrong that they were giving them such nice stuff. They’d always bring it back to you though. It burned your heart. Both from how sweet the gesture was and the physical pain you felt taking it from them. After a few cycles of this, people started to stop telling you who gave you that new item of yours. Even when you begged them for answers.

You had to turn to more drastic measures. Every gift you got was soon carefully investigated for any sign of who could’ve given it to you. There wasn't a way to easily get an answer from the other hermits. They had gotten suspicious of your past tactics, so you had to change your approach.

So you went with the closest guess. Even if they weren’t the one to give it to you, you’d give it to them. When the “gifter” left their base, you’d swiftly sneak in and start to put the items back in their storage. Many of them had chest monsters, so it was easier to put the items in their chests. After all, they wouldn’t really notice more items in the giant mess of items they already had. Then there were the ones with organized sorting systems. You’d search for their proper homes and place them in there. Since these people usually had big storage facilities, it wouldn't be hard to hide a few other items in there. What were the odds that they’d notice that they had a little more of an item than they last remember?

Aw who were you kidding, they’d obviously notice a whole inventory’s worth of golden carrots in their chests. But you deluded yourself into believing that your attempts worked. Believing a beautiful life was much easier and felt better than facing the less-than enjoyable truth.

When you finally calmed down enough, you went over your mental plan again. It had to be absolutely perfect. With no flaws or kinks. This couldn’t fail. Every attempt before had ended in fucking failure. You’d look so bad to the hermits if you failed in leaving again. Why did you still care about what they thought of you? That’s such a silly thing to still care about.

Each plan before had one step that’d always thwarted your leave; you always said goodbye to somebody. At first it started with a big group of hermits, but with each attempt the group got smaller and smaller.

When you’d go to say your goodbyes, the hermit you were talking to would get upset. They’d begged you to stay. Or they’d ask you to help them on this one last project. And then another hermit would ask, and then another. Until you were helping a hermit as soon as you finished a project. You were almost never alone for a while. Slowly the thought of leaving would be pushed further and further back into your mind. Until it was practically gone; only echoes of it would remain to haunt you at night. This was a continuous cycle, and you wanted it to end.

This time you weren’t going to get stopped. Having fewer people in the plan makes it easier to leave. That meant nobody was going to get an in-person goodbye. Everybody had an individual letter addressed to them from you and one for the entire server. It was better this way. They wouldn’t have the chance to stop you.

You don’t know how much time passed, nor did you really care. God you wanted to stay here so bad, yet you couldn’t. This wasn’t where you belonged. You weren’t meant to be here.

With a heavy sign, you hauled yourself off the ground and made your way to the edge of the server. Every moment was precious now, so you decided to dawdle as much as you could. Nobody was going to stop you, so you had time. After all, nobody was going to be finding the letters anytime soon.

To savor every last second on the server, you traversed by boat and foot. Yes you’d miss the elytras, but you wanted to travel the old fashioned way. The way you were used to doing it. Elytras weren’t on the Dream smp, so you needed to start getting used to not having them again.

It felt like seconds before you were at the edge. A few blinks and bam! You were at your final destination on the Hermitcraft server. It was now or never. All you had to do was take a few steps over and you would be back on the Dream smp. Yet your feet refused to move. Why weren’t they moving? This was for the greater good. Yes you wouldn’t be happy there immediately, but you’d grow used to it again.

You started to take deep breaths, trying to hype yourself up to take the final steps. It was like three steps, come on. You can do it. The trip here was longer and harder than this. Don’t let something this small ruins all the work you’ve done. God it was like you were like a walking failure. You couldn’t even finish something you started, something you wanted done. A small part of you whispered, begged you to say with the hermits. But it was soon covered by a much louder part of the mind, telling you that this was the best thing you could do for everyone. Come on, they wouldn’t miss you at all. With one final breath, you took a step forward.

“What’re you doing?” a voice seemed to yell. God it was so quiet. Why was it so quiet? Literally any noise was too loud now.

You stopped. Oh no, did you take too long getting here? Man you really should’ve used that elytra instead. Would’ve made this trip so much easier and faster.

Slowly you turn around to see who interrupted you. And low and behold, it’s Xisuma. He was a little ways away from you, which you were thankful for. It was surprising to see him so far away from the server though. Did he find the notes. Shit, fuck, no no no-. You really hope he hadn’t found them.

“I’m just looking around” a nervous shell of your voice answers. It sounded so empty, like the wind could easily blow it away with just a single gentle gust. You desperately look over where Xisuma’s face would be in hopes of finding out what he was feeling or thinking. That mask of his blocked it, so it was futile. But you had to know what he thought about you now. Was he disappointed? Did he hate you? Especially for how you tried to leave?

“This far out,” he spreads his arms out, gesturing to the world around y’all. It was practically deserted. There was only an island, and you two were standing on it. Ocean covered the world to the horizon. Logically you knew you had no reason to be out here other than to leave. You knew Xisuma knew as well. He had to. He was the admin, after all.

“Uh,” you frantically look around, hoping to find anything to help you get out of this tense situation. You hated this. Hated confrontation. This was a reason you left the Dream smp. “Yeah I wanted a good sight for the uh- for the sunset. Yes, the sunset! It’s so pretty when you’re so far from the mainland. Away from all the buildings that could obstruct the view.”

It took a second for your words to finally hit you, and when they did it felt like a slap to the face. “I’m not saying the builds are bad,” you desperately backpedal, trying to change the possible interpretation of your words. “I mean they’re very big. Big and pretty! Yes, very pretty! But they block the skyline so easily and the sunset and sunrise are just hidden by them. And sometimes the light pollution really gets in the way of stargazing- I’m rambling aren’t I? I’m sorry.”

You stared at Xisuma, wishing for him to give you any sign as to what he was thinking. But the black visor thwarted you attempts again; his face was unviewable with his helmet on.

Wait how could you have been so self absorbed to not notice what Xisuma is wearing. He adorned a little bee/wasp (you had a hard time telling the difference at the moment) themed outfit. It was like a whole bodysuit. And he had a little bee/wasp helmet too! Oh my gosh it was the little bee outfit he owned! The one you really liked! He was actually wearing it? The outfit you said looked really good on him? No, wait. He might just like it as well. That’s probably why he’s wearing it. Stupid, remember you’re not special. Especially to anyone. Why can’t you get that through your thick brain?

Xisuma must have seen the emotional trip you just went on. It must’ve been obvious, right? Written all over your face?

“You’re not wrong,” Xisuma starts. “The builds can be rather disruptive of a good view of the sunset or sunrise. But if you wanted a good viewing spot, you could’ve just asked me. I wouldn’t have minded showing you one.”

“That would’ve been such a stupid thing to ask,” you sniffle, barely having the strength to look him in the eyes. Well, where his eyes should be. “Going up to an admin and saying ‘I can’t see the sunrise or sunset well. Can you show me a good viewing spot’ isn’t exactly something you ask an admin. Usually it’s something along the lines of ‘hey this player took my stuff’ or ‘I’m stuck in a hole and need help.’”

Silence smothers the two of you. Your words were heavy. Made your mouth dry too. Wow is it hot out or just you? It’s really fucking hot out here.

“Again,” Xisuma breaks the silence,” I wouldn’t have minded at all. I’m here for you. For the hermits. And I’m here to help. Why do you think my help wouldn’t extend to you?”

You ponder over his question. Now that he states it like that, how can you just make up a stupid excuse? The care he showed in his explanation made you feel warm and fuzzy. Even if it wasn’t a lot. It made you feel special. Just for that moment. He doesn’t deserve a sucky lie. He deserved the truth. You owed it to him. Then you’ll stop being a bother to him and leave. Right… leave.

“Because I’m not a hermit, Xisuma,” you murmur, hugging yourself for comfort. “I don’t think I ever was. Or ever will be, for that matter.”

“And why not,” Xisuma prods, taking a step towards you. “You are a hermit. You’re on the hermit server and you have been for quite a while now. Everyone loves you. They love you so much. I love you so much.”

That question hurts you. It hurts you so much and yet you have no reason for it to hurt you this much. The statement was false and you knew it. So it shouldn’t hold this much power over you. He’s wrong and you know it. But how do you break it to him?

Yeah, break the news to him. The only thing breaking is you. Xisuma’s mask, which you had once adored, scared you. Intimidated you and made you feel inadequate. The more you looked, the worse you felt.

And so you give in. “Because I’m not one of you. I’d never be one of you. No matter what I did, it’d never amount to what everyone else can do! Grian can make magnificent builds, Scar can landscape like a god, and Mumbo can make literally anything and everything out of redstone. Everybody has something that they’re good at, something they specialize in. And me,” your voice cracks. You drop to the ground on your knees, curling into yourself. “I can’t do anything. I can’t build, can’t farm and I can’t even do simple redstone. I’m a literal dunce. I’ll never be able to do anything right. I’ll never be enough, especially on a server like this with so many incredible people like you. And everyone is so nice. I don’t deserve this kindness. I’m a horrible person. And-and I just don’t belong here. It’d be better if a burden like me is gone, out of your hair. It’d be better if I went back to the Dream smp. Where I can’t be a burden to anybody here.” You finally break down. Sobs shook your body and any words that came out after that were unintelligible.

Suddenly there’s a presence near you, giving you a hug. You flinch, but know it’s Xisuma. Who else could it be? He was the only one here with you. He lets go of you slowly, but you quickly latch onto him and hide in the crook of his neck. You really wanted some comfort. You wanted Xisuma’s hugs. You didn’t want to be left alone.

He goes back to gently holding you, quietly telling you that everything was going to be okay. And other things. Everything just went in one ear and out the other. But he’s giving you soft and steady backrubs. You snuggle closer to him. God this was like a whole comfort package! It just made you want to cry harder. And he just stays there! Letting you cry on him. He’s so nice to little ole you.

Soon you tuckered yourself out from crying. You’re so tired, but you’re still crying. Sadness just courses through you. But you’re so tired. Slowly your sobs turn to sniffle and you try to bring him even closer to you.

“Feel any better,” he tries his best to look at you after your sniffles are all that’re coming out of you. It’s really hard to look at someone so close to you.

You nod against him, too tired to answer verbally. Plus your voice probably sounds terrible and wouldn’t be able to handle answering anyways.

He picks you up, holding you close to him and walks away from the border. You’re so thankful that Xisuma is carrying you. It makes you feel so loved. And your body was so weak after your breakdown.

Soon you two are on a boat, heading back to the rest of the hermits. He’s rowing y’all home. You cuddle into him, wanting as much physical contact as you can get. You’re so tired, but you don’t want to sleep just yet. But you still doze off anyways. As you do though, Xisuma starts to talk to you.

“Thank you for staying with us. With me. I really appreciate that. I love you, remember that. I’ll tell you that a million times if I have to. I’d tell you daily, hourly. Whatever you want. Just don’t leave, please. I love you so much. It’d hurt if you left. If I lost you. But it also hurts to see you in so much pain. Oh I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner. I should've seen the signs. But I’m here. I’ll help you. I love you so much. I’ll stay with you as long as you’re with me. I’d follow you to the end and back.”

You can’t exactly hear what he’s saying, but it must be really nice. The tone of it is so comforting. Wait hold up. Weren’t you doing something. Struggling to stay awake, you mind scrambles for an answer. The border. Yes, the border! You were there. But for what? You couldn’t remember anymore. But was it important if you forgot? Oh who cares, you got Xisuma with you! You were home! That’s all that mattered.

As you finally start to drift off, you mutter an ‘i love you’ to him, finally falling into a well deserved slumber.

#tw: yandere #dodo writing #mcyt x reader #tw: cursing #tw: depression #tw: anxiety #tw: dissociation #tw: angst #hermitcraft x reader #xisuma x reader #yandere #yandere xisuma #c: xisuma #hermitship

[suumekoi]

By @mang0tree BECAUSE I FORGOT TO PUT YOUR USERNAME IN THE LAST ONE

- - - - x

hdsfjdsf helo i am Back 2 ramble abt my ideas :] uhh this might b a bit more scattered then last time bc i dont have as solid of an idea for the rest of the story so this might b more just talking abt concepts more then anything else sweats (i have ideas involving gameplay and all here too so i might fit that in somewhere)

SO we left off w/ divinus telling yuelia and the protag that he figured out lava lamp dragon (hdxkgfdg thats its name now i have decided everyone settled on calling it lava lamp dragon) can go poof between dimensions w/e it wants and theyre all just there like "well fuck this aint good" bc this means the drago can now go w/e it wants basically to get itself more energy, and the protag is just like "ok well i can go chase after i-" but then divinus shuts the protag down saying that they still dont know what this drago is abt or where it came from or even what it wants to Do exactly and that its too dangerous for a human like them 2 go after

after that the protag is walking back 2 castele with their arms crossed all >:[ bc Divinus Wont Let Them Chase After Lava Lamp Dragon, and yuelia notices and says "hey, it's nothing personal [player]... not even me and lili could stand up to that thing. i think he's just trying to look out for you." and thats not. Extremely relevant or anything i just had the idea for that dialogue in my head

yuelia splits up w/ the protag once they get back 2 town 2 go uh. Do Stuff and the protag just stands there for like 2 seconds before thinking 'ok im gonna find a way to travel 2 a different dimension Myself if nobody else is gonna help' so uhhh Commence Research Montague (i dont actually know how they figure out this thing yet ok just pretend they found an old book on it or somethin) and after looking around they find a source talking abt some sealed up treasure that probably has the kind of thing theyre lookin for oh boy!!!! but they dont recognize the location, and so they ask around 2 a few other ppl who end up suggesting they ask lili since she travels around a lot and might recognize it

and lili's doin mostly ok by this point, shes awake and can move around fine and all but ppl still want her 2 rest 2 regain Al her strength before goin out adventuring again or anythin (despite her protests otherwise jfgkdfg) so the protag goes up and asks lili if she knows abt the location they found, and lili thinks for a moment before responding that she recognized the description where what theyre lookin for might be and has a vague idea where she might b able 2 find it, and then looks at the protag all like "why are you so curious about this place?" so the protag ends up explaining what happened with divinus and how they think if they find the Thing in this Place that itll make them able 2 help stop lava lamp dragon, and lili goes like 'hm' and sits there for a minute before going "you know im going to come with you, right?"

dsjsdkf and even if the protag tries 2 argue w/ lili shes like Set on coming bc she wants to see what the fuck this thing is too, so lili gathers her gear and her and the protag sneak out of town 2 go explore spooky place ooo!!!!! so after making it thru the Place (i um. havent decided what it is yet maybe a sort of ruins or cave) at the end u notice that there Is somethin at the end there, so u go up and investigate and it turns out its some kind of funky lookin gauntlet and the protag just goes 'oh cool!' and puts it on immediately and um side note this gauntlet May be slightly cursed and you May not be able to take it off once u put it on but ykno still thinkin on that part

so ANYWAYS the protag puts on the gauntlet and lili goes "oh wow we actually Found something here! we just, uh.... need to find out what it does now, i guess." so the protag thinks for a moment, before deciding to see what happens if they hit something w/ the gauntlet, so they smack the wall w/ their hand and BOOM the wall cracks open 2 make way 2 a portal 2 an unknown world that the protag and lili end up getting pulled into

and um. this is the part where most of my concrete ideas for Story kinda end but my idea for this world was sorta like what reveria would look like if celestia hadnt come in 2 help everyone by creating lives so like. mostly nature and not much of civilization to see except for the occasional ragtag group of survivors but also ofc not just reveria itll also b its own world w/ its own unique stuff 2 it and all, i just thought itd b interesting 2 explore what would have happened if celestia never came 2 help reveria in the first place

so basically then its just lili and the protag exploring this new world, meeting a group of survivors that explain everything that happened in this world and all and u try 2 help them out before u head back (considering having something of a Lava Lamp Dragon Encounter here, not rlly a fight persay but you might spot it from afar and try 2 chase before it escapes)

after u make it back 2 castele Not Dead lili mentions to the protag she wants to look into that gauntlet they found more mostly bc shes never seen or heard of it before (and shes been a lot of places) and wants to be sure it doesnt have like Sinister Origins or anything

and basically after u unlock another world thru Story Progression ur essentially free 2 stop at any time and go back 2 explore that place, u can like go there 2 complete quests and theres also somewhat of a Side Story in each world where u can learn more abt the world and also help the ppl solve some other issue they got going on in their world Aside from the lava lamp dragon that might b planning on destroying everything (so for example in the first world their issue would be that uh. theres a lot of monsters everywhere)

the second world ive been thinkin could b somethin of a steampunk world with legally required scrappy mechanic and a tiny robot friend named beep bop bip (bip for short) and uh. the third world is the one ive thought out the least but i wanna go for some kind of Mythical foresty place, maybe with non human inhabitants like bird ppl or somethin

and then the 4th world (the final one u unlock) i want 2 b all spooky and ominous, bc thats the world that the final boss is going to happen in where u fight Lava Lamp Dragon for the last time

so that sorta. all i have in terms of ideas for now i think?? unless im forgetting something jdfgkdg but i definitely think i wanna go w/ the whole celestias sister being behind this thing bc that would be a very interesting thing 2 explore........ at the end i feel like celestias sister would b like trying 2 command lava lamp dragon but it has gone cazy w/ power and ends up not listening 2 celestias sister so the protag is just (pulls out sword) "guess im gonna have to save you from your own hubris" and UM another side note but i also do wanna include the guys from the first fl game too jdfgkd there is just a Lot and it is kinda complicated 2 try and fit everyone in when the story is sorta still a wip so they are There. Somehow

im thinkin abt that cursed gauntlet idea atm and idk if thats like. Generic or not but i feel like it would be interesting if the protag somehow just forcibly got themselves involved in this whole thing w/ celestias sister and Lava Lamp Dragon just by getting this gauntlet stuck on them jdfgdlgk but yea either way im donw now woo!! no more ramble

- - - - - - - x

The protagonist sounds quite lively in your story xD putting on the gauntlet just because it looks cool. I think the gauntlet should jump at the protag instead, or maybe it could be alive, like it came from the other dimension to search for a hero/chosen one and our protag happens to be there. It would be like yuelia/flutter and dogu.... But a gauntlet I guess xD

(Also it would cool if the gauntlet can control the protag too, like once you reach the final boss battle, the protag lost control and we have to play as our old protagonist, lili in this case. Or the other way round. I just love it when games makes us battle our previous protag. ❤️❤️)

But a dimension where celestia didn't come to reveria sounds interesting! ... there's so much you can make of it! The current characters in reveria would still exist in the other dimension but living their life differently!

#fantasy life #submission

[aire101]

Ferrum Chapter 2

Here’s chapter two, and my apologies for how closely part of it follows Episode 1 of SAO.  After this the story probably won’t follow much of the shown canon at all, though I will probably bring in SAO characters for the boys to interact with eventually.  But in SAO everyone has the same starting point.  But with the world being as complex as it is, I doubt I’ll ever really need to follow episode events or dialogue this closely again.  Though I might get the boys involved in the Level 1 boss battle, we’ll see.

Also, please excuse any incorrect computer/programming/gaming jargon.  I’m doing the best I can. T_T

------------------

Peter was a masochist.  That was really the only explanation for his current situation.  The person had even offered to go their own way before Peter had opened his big mouth and tied them together for the next few hours.

Peter knew it wasn’t really Mr. Stark, he did.  But the avatar looked exactly like the Tony Stark that Peter remembered— before the space starvation and the new stress lines of living in a post-apocalyptic earth.  And he sounded just like him.  He had the same weird humor that fluctuated wildly between arrogance and self-deprecation.  He got Peter’s stupid science jokes and the laugh he gave when Peter growled out “FINISH HIM” during a fight with a boar was painfully familiar.  Several times he had to stop himself from calling out the wrong name, and each time left him feeling like he was repeatedly prodding a gaping chasm of a wound.

“You ok, Ki— uh, sorry… Tor?”

And then there was that.  All in all, it was a perfect recipe for emotional disaster.

“Yeah, sorry… my mind wandered off a bit there.”

“In the middle of a pvp and monster spawn zone might not be the best place for that you know.  How does this game even handle respawns?” asked Ferrum, striking down another boar with a swift horizontal strike.  It taken a bit of trial and error for them to get the hang of activating the sword skills, but once it had clicked they had made quick work of the low level spawns in the area.

“You know, for someone who managed to snag a limited release of this game you know surprisingly little about it,” responded Peter.

“Yes, I known, I’m an enigma.  Humor me and explain please.”

“We’re supposed to respawn in the nearest town I think.  Given the bugs we’ve seen so far though I’m not sure I’d want to test that at the moment.  Might be one way to initiate a logout though?” said Peter.

“I’d rather not risk it, and I’d suggest you do the same until we hear from an actual GM,” said Ferrum, sheathing his sword.  “That being said, we’ve been out here several hours now, wanna head back into town and see if anyone has heard anything?”

“Sure,” said Peter, also putting away his weapon.  They stood in the middle of a clearing with expansive views.  Most of the beasts in this area hadn’t been ones to initiate conflict, and they would have plenty of forewarning if anything headed in their direction.  So for a moment Peter allowed himself to just relax and take a proper look around the area, marveling at the beauty and complexity of the world Argus had built.  Off in the distance he could see hills disappear into the haze of the the horizon and cities raised atop impossible pillars.  In a field not too far from them there were a couple other players likewise looking out, taking in the beauty of the glistening waterfalls and towns painted in oranges and reds as sunset came over Aincrad.  

“I have to give them credit.  When I first heard about their plans for this game I was a bit dubious on whether they would actually be able to deliver on the promise.  Concept art looks great, but actually being able to code a full sensory experience into an application?  And create an entire open world with that data?  I mean, I had thought about the concept before, but the technology needed to do it always made me a bit uneasy…  It would be way to easy for someone to use it in ways it shouldn’t be,” said Ferrum.

“What changed your mind then? I mean, since you’re here now?” asked Peter.

“…I don’t know,” muttered Ferrum, sounding distinctly unsettled with the admission.

Peter opened his mouth with a joke on the tip of his tongue, something to lighten the suddenly uneasy mood—

When the deep toll of a bell rang out from the Town of Beginnings, rolling through the air with the tone of a death knell.

“Huh, wonder if they’re finally about to make an announcement?” said Peter.  “I’m surprised it took so—”

Suddenly a white light enveloped him.  In those seconds he felt nothing, completely stripped of sensory.  Just as he felt himself starting to panic, the light released him and was gone as quickly as it had came.  He found himself and Ferrum once again standing in the center of the plaza of the Town of Beginnings.  All around them seemingly every one of the 10,000 players were similarly being teleported into the square.  

“What the hell?” said Ferrum.

“I don’t know.  Pretty sure they should be able to make announcements across the whole game regardless of player location.  Maybe its an opening event?  Would explain the theatrics of it,” said Peter.

The whole square was a buzz with nervous confusion as people tried to figure out what was going on, then Peter heard someone call out above the crowd, “Up there!”

Peter looked up, and above the square there flashed a single red polygon with the word WARNING.

The sky turned red as more and more polygons spawned proclaiming ‘WARNING’ and ‘SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT.’

Peter wanted to think that maybe they had found the bug.  Maybe they were announcing a fix or instructions for the players…

But even without his spidey sense, something felt wrong.

Then the sky began to bleed.

“What is that?” asked a player to the side in horrified awe as the blood-like liquid began to coalesce into a more solid state.  Within moments it formed into a hooded figure wearing familiar blood red robes with gold trim.

A Game Master— likely an a real one this time.

The crowd of players all began to mutter speculations about the figure or the possibility of an event.

“I have bad feeling about all this.”

Peter jumped.  He had forgotten about Ferrum at his side.  He looked over at the older looking man, taking in the tight lines around his mouth, his eyes darting around the area taking everything in, but not straying too long way from the god-like figure of the GM in front of them.

Peter wished he could reassure the man like he had earlier in the day, but Peter was suddenly very aware that in this world he was no different than anyone else.  Just as vulnerable, just as powerless… What had originally been a main draw for him was now a very real weakness.  

“It would be way to easy for someone to use it in ways it shouldn’t be…”

They were absolutely at the mercy of this monolithic system…

“Attention Players… Welcome to my world.  My name is Kayaba Akihiko.  As of this moment, I am the sole person who can control this world.”

And whoever controlled it.

“Son of a bitch,” muttered Ferrum, a look of horror on his face.

“I’m sure you’ve already noticed that the logout button is missing from the main menu,” Kayaba continued.  “But this is not a defect in the game.”

A shiver traveled up Peter’s spine.  A stone of cold fear formed in his stomach.  Surely not… surely someone along the way would have noticed something so horrendous in the code…

“I repeat— this is not a defect in the game.  It is a feature of Sword Art Online.”

“But how… how can he keep us here?  Surely someone on the outside can still get us out?” asked Peter.

“It’s the hardware, Kid.  He’s fucked with the user client hardware that everyone’s brains are wired into,” growled Ferrum.

“You cannot log out of SAO yourselves.  And no one on the outside can shut down or remove the NerveGear.  Should this be attempted, the transmitter inside the NerveGear will emit a powerful microwave, destroying your brain and thus ending your life,” said Kayaba.

Immediately Peter ran through all the specs on the hardware he was privy to during his time as Tony’s intern, and came to the same conclusion Ferrum already had— this mad man was not lying.  He had disabled the safety mechanism that would keep certain powerful data bursts from frying someone’s brain.

Data bursts such as an autosave or a death respawn.

“Unfortunately, several players’ friends and families have ignored this warning, and have attempted to remove the NerveGear.  As a result, two hundred and thirteen players are gone forever, from both Aincrad and the real world.”

“Two hundred and thirteen…”

Peter turned around to see Ferrum looking on with eyes wide, his right hand grasping his left wrist as his left hand gave small spasms.  

That motion was intimately familiar.  The similarity  was uncanny…

“As you can see, news organizations across the world are reporting all of this, including the deaths.” Multiple program windows opened, most featuring various news channels running live, corroborating what Kayaba was explaining.    “Thus, you can assume that the danger of a NerveGear being removed is now minimal.  I hope you will relax and attempt to clear the game.

But I want you to remember this clearly.  There is no longer any method to revive someone within the game.  If your HP drops to zero, your avatar will be forever lost.  And simultaneously, the NerveGear will destroy your brain.”

So he was right— it was both the autosave and respawn functions that had been weaponized in the headset.  The more he thought about it, the more angry he became.  The man had taken glorious innovations in technology—some of it pioneered by Mr. Stark himself—and twisted it into a personal hell for all these people, some of them undoubtedly children.  As if the world hadn’t been dealing with enough tragedy over the last few years.  He wanted nothing more than to punch Kayaba directly in the face with every pound of his spider strength.

But he couldn’t do that.  In this world, he was just like everyone else.

With great power comes great responsibility… but without that power, was that responsibility still his?

“There is only one means of escape.  To complete the game,” Kayaba said, bringing up a digital layout of the floors of Aincrad.  “You are presently on the lowest floor of Aincrad, Floor 1.  If you make your way through the dungeon and defeat the Floor Boss, you may advance to the next level.  Defeat the final boss on Floor 100, and you will clear the game.”

The crowd, which up till now had been mostly muted in shock, finally began to shout and rumble in confusion and denial.  And from the sound of things, this monologue was just about to wrap up.  When it did, all hell was going to break loose.

He had some choices to make, and fast.

“Finally, I’ve added a present from me to your item storage.  Please see for yourselves.”

Shit.  What now?

Peter swiped down to access his storage, feeling distinctly as if he were walking into a trap.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ferrum doing so as well.

An item labeled ‘Mirror’ had been placed in his inventory.

“I’m guessing this mirror is the ‘gift,’ though now I’m wondering if he programmed the auto-drop or did it himself, and if he’s aware of my… status,” whispered Ferrum.

That’s right.  Ferrum was a GM, however that had happened.

“Do you think you could—”

But he didn’t get to finish his question, as at that moment everyone in the plaza began to shout as they were all consumed once again by white light.

When it receded, everyone had changed.

Some looked younger, most looked older.  Quite a few people around him looked to have changed genders completely.  Peter glanced back down at the mirror in his to see his Thor-like appearance gone completely, and instead his true face reflected back at him.  

So that was the purpose of the all too thorough calibration he and Ned had gone through.

“Kid,” said a shocked voice at his side.  

Peter turned around towards Ferrum, wondering who had been behind the meticulous avatar of Mr. Stark…

Only to see that Ferrum was completely unchanged.  Perhaps being a GM had made him impervious to the magic of the mirror?

“Underoos… what are you doing here, kid?!”

With those heartbroken words, Peter’s carefully constructed walls came crashing down.

. . . . .

Peter couldn’t think.  He certainly couldn’t speak.

He could vaguely tell that Kayaba had continued with his closing speech, but he couldn’t tell you what he had said.

All he could process was Mr. Stark’s face in front of him, and the name that only he had ever uttered to him.

It was impossible.  He had seen the body—the horrific scorching where the universal energies had burned through him, the life support system shutting off, the brightness leaving behind a cold husk in a metal suit—

Peter’s whole body flinched when he felt that familiar hand rest on his shoulder.

“Kid!  Are you with me?  We need to get out of here.”

In the time Peter had spaced out Kayaba had disappeared, and now the whole crowd was devolving into a panic.  People were screaming in terror and rage, several had broken down into sobbing messes on the ground.

He wanted to do something— anything to make this better.  Tell people that it was ok, they would figure this out.

But more than that, he wanted someone else to tell him that as well.

Finally he brought himself to focus on what Mr. Stark was saying.

“What do you mean we have to go— where else is there to go?” asked Peter.  “We can’t leave the game, we’ve tried—”

“Not the game, we need to get out of town.”

“What— why—”

“We can talk more later, follow me,” Mr. Stark said before running down a nearby alley.

After a few minutes they stopped, and Mr. Stark started flicking through his user interface.

“This is a fantasy RPG… you can’t tell me there are no helmets…”

After scrolling for a while, he tapped an item on the list and spawned a basic metal helmet and quickly placed it on is head, before continuing to run out of town.

“Mr. Stark!  Wait!” cried Peter.

“Don’t shout that kid, otherwise the helmet is pointless!” Mr. Stark called back.

“Ferrum… why are we heading out of town?  Its about to be dark and the only safe zone we know is here!” shouted Peter.

“The people back there are panicking, Peter.  It won’t be much longer before they start turning on each other, looking for someone to take it out on.  Between my face and the fact that some saw me in GM robes earlier I don’t want to chance hanging around for someone to put the pieces together.  Not to mention this area’s resources are going to be swamped before we know it.  Resource management is built in to the Cardinal system to maintain balance and encourage player movement and activity.  There won’t be enough to go around.”

“But if we die on the road the resources we need won’t really matter!” yelled Peter, pulling to a stop.  “There’s only so much they can do to us in town, it’s a No PVP area.  Lets just find an inn on the outskirts of town and spend the night.  We need a better plan than just running out of the safe zone at twilight.”

Mr. Stark had pulled to a stop when Peter had, obviously unwilling to leave him behind.  He looked down the alley, obviously wanting to continue on, but after a moment his shoulders dropped in an obvious show of concession.

“Fine, lets go to the outer ring and find a place,” said Mr. Stark.

As he turned and started walking away, Peter allowed himself a moment to take in the familiar gait, the way Mr. Stark always walked with his back straight and his head held high, as if he were always prepared to walk onto a red carpet, even in his most destroyed workshop clothes.

He could recognize every familiar mannerism from their hours pouring over suit tech and web formulas.  In retrospect, perhaps that as much as his face was why he had latched onto the man to begin with.  

But the billion dollar question still remained… how?

Hopefully once they found a room to bunk in, he could work out what the hell was going on… preferably before he had a complete emotional breakdown.

#marvel cinematic universe #sword art online #peter parker #tony stark #peter parker & tony stark #irondad #spiderson #crossover fanfiction #mcu/sao #post-endgame #mostly mcu canon compliant #some variations to sao canon #tony stark has a heart #tony stark acting as peter parkers parental figure #protective tony stark #protective peter parker #ai tony stark #mcu canon compliant through endgame #will not follow the shown sao storyline too closely after Kayaba introduction speech #sao canon still happens off screen #i just won't be showing it much #ferrum #aire101 writes #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #sao fanfiction #also please don't hate me for any incorrect computer/programming/gaming jargon #doing the best i can #not beta read

[sweetlangdon]

Reckoning: Part Four (Michael Langdon x Reader)

Notes: AU of the Outpost plot of Apocalypse. A Gray accidentally finds Michael while he’s performing the ritual. Things take an interesting turn.

Warnings: Blood. So much blood. There’s blood in every part of this fic so far. Swearing. Murder. Graphic violence/gore. Blood kink. Knife play. Things get heated, but there’s no smut…yet? (There might be in the future, if I’m feeling particularly brave.)

This fic is currently in progress.

Also available on AO3.

[Repost of a previously published fic from my main blog.]

Part One   Part Two   Part Three

She recoiled as if the mark had scorched her fingertips, as if her skin had blistered in an open flame. It might as well have—he’d been warm all over; she’d felt that warmth through her clothes, but the mark behind his ear was blazing hot. She stumbled away from him until her back slammed into the wall near the doorway, hysterical laughter numbing the pain that jolted up her spine and knocked her teeth together. Her hands were shaking again.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” she said at last. “That’s just—no. You know what? This game has gone on long enough. I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to pull here, but that…I’m not…no.”

“You asked for the truth.” Langdon eyed her with slightly disheveled hair and annoyance pulling at the smirk on his lips. It was a composed sense of annoyance, which seemed like an unbelievable concept to her. She felt such a weird mix of confusion and rage and attraction toward him that she was beginning to infuriate herself, and she was sure that he could see every single bit of it.

“I gave you nothing else.” He took slow, deliberate steps to eliminate the distance she’d put between them. “When you found me, a part of you knew.” Langdon inched closer, the pointed toe of one his shoes settling between her feet. “And when you said those words back to me…you felt them, didn’t you? The power of them—of my father. Suddenly, the world became clearer…every need, every desire, no matter how dark,” he planted his hands on either side of her shoulders, “…and the very thought of it frightened you.”

What little air that had been left between them seemed to crackle, the heat that flowed from him playing across her skin. Her palms were slick with sweat again, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Langdon. She didn’t know what she hated more—him, or her inability to resist the intense, prying look he’d leveled her with.

She definitely fucking hated that he was right.

Ave Satanas. The words she’d said against his mouth, so full of rage and want, her mind hazy with it. She’d said them before she understood the full weight of them; she’d needed him to feel the words on her own lips. What the fuck was wrong with her?

“You may not be a believer—not yet,” Langdon cocked his head to the side, just a little, “but you believe in things beyond this ruined world,” he continued. “I could see it in your eyes…just as you saw it in mine.”

Lightning appeared to streak across his face and illuminate another side of him that lay hidden beneath his impeccable jawline and silky blond hair. It lasted for a moment or two; eyes shining like onyx sunken into a pale, withered face. Something hellish. A monster.

The fucking Antichrist.

She felt dizzy again. Her spine pressed into the wall, her fingers cold and tingling as panic began to race through her bloodstream. “You’re going to kill me.”

“No,” he drawled. Langdon lifted one of his hands and she felt his soft, warm fingertips wander along her cheekbone. His blood had long since dried on her skin, staining her dark red, and the scent and feeling of it seemed to leach into her soul. “If I’d wanted to kill you, I would have done it already. You gave me more than enough opportunities.”

She slapped his hand away without thinking about the fact that he could strangle her or probably break her goddamn neck with it. Fear made her angry, and anger made her act entirely on impulse.

“Then why the hell are you here?” she demanded. Langdon dropped his hands to his sides, one eyebrow raised at her outburst in a show of amusement. “You’re the reason we’ve all been miserable for the past eighteen months. Youstarted all of this shit.” She huffed out a shallow, anxious breath. The fucking Antichrist. “It’s been a while since I’ve gone to Sunday school, but I recall the Book of Revelation being a huge fucking deal.”

“So death would’ve been preferable to you?” Langdon goaded. “Torn apart by the blasts or the agonizing effects of radiation? Compared to the rest of the world, eighteen months of loneliness and servitude seems a far better alternative.” He folded one arm behind his back; he’d stepped away from her, taking the warmth with him. His tone regained some of its sharpness. “The only reason this outpost is standing is because I helped make it possible. And I’m here, as I said before, at the interest of The Cooperative. I haven’t lied.”

“You destroyed the world.” She scoffed, but she still missed the heat he carried. The anxiety in her veins had made her cold and her chest tight. A small fragment of her realized that she was only fighting him and asking these questions because it seemed like the right thing to do. That nagging thread of morality left from the old world; an effort that had become futile, now. “If you ask me, deceptive doesn’t even begin to cover that one, Langdon.”

“Humanity has already been doing that for centuries,” Langdon countered, side-stepping the accusation she’d hurled at him. “It was never going to last. We wiped the slate clean, and now it’s time to decide who will make this new world flourish in my father’s image.”

His father. Satan. How the shit did I get here, again?

Goddamn it, she really, really fucking hated that he was right.

She was so exhausted and bewildered by this whole situation that it took her a moment to comprehend that he’d fixed her with one rather expectant look. Her own laughter, all sarcasm and disbelief—the traces of hysteria gone as if the two of them had finally reached some strange level of understanding—echoed in the cavernous bathroom. Was it her own fatigue that made her slightly more open to the possibilities, or had she sold her soul the moment she accepted his challenge?

“I’m nobody.”

The coolness of the tile against her back made her shiver, so she pushed off it to take a few wary steps in his direction. Once she settled in front of him, Langdon dropped the arm that had been folded behind his back and peered at her with a narrowed gaze. She had to stop the contented sigh that almost worked its way from her throat when she fell back into the orbit of his warmth.

“A worker ant.” Venable’s words made her cringe, even from her own mouth. “I’m surprised you haven’t crushed me underneath your very expensive heel yet.”

That earned her a grin. Her stomach did another one of those involuntary somersaults, and without thinking too much about it, she dared one step closer. The hem of her dress brushed against his pants and the toe of her drab shoe knocked into his, but he didn’t move.

He leaned forward so that his breath skirted her hair. “That’s just what this place has turned you into.” Langdon took her hand and brought up so that it was level with his chest, running his thumb along the dark stains on her knuckles. His curious gaze dropped to the coating of dried blood on her skin, which seemed almost like a reprieve from his endless pursuit of her soul. As he traced a gentle fingertip across her knuckles, she clenched her jaw shut tight.

“At least consider that you could be more.” His thumb traveled down the inside of her wrist, following the path where the ribbons of his blood had soaked into her flesh and the sleeve of her dress. His voice turned low and dangerous. “I think you were made for this new world—you showed me that when you freed yourself from the old rules. You’re not the same person you were when you walked into that room; you and I both know that. But the question is,” he drew out the syllables, ice blue eyes flickering up to her own, “will you allow yourself to accept who you could be?”

Langdon hummed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. His words dropped into an almost whisper, warm breath ghosting across the tender flesh of her wrist. His lips now hovered just above the network of veins that had been concealed under a layer of dark blood, his head dipped toward her, hair cascading gracefully down his bare shoulder. She watched him inhale the remaining scent of iron.

“Chaos becomes you.”

A shudder wracked her body, and she knew he’d felt it as her fingers curled under his touch. She waited for him to press his lips to her wrist, to maybe taste the iron on her skin, but instead he dropped her hand.

Her eyebrows pulled together. “Or, I could tell everyone your dark secret.” She flexed her fingers at her side, the ghost of his touch and the warmth of him still lingering on her skin.

Langdon’s face was suddenly bright with a sarcastic grin that she wanted to loathe, but it only made her cheeks feel flushed. “As if they would believe you.”

He circled around her until he came to rest at her back, and she leaned, just a little, into the solid presence of his bare chest. She found him staring at their reflection in the mirror above the sink—Langdon, fucking perfect as always, despite the fact that he’d been stabbed in the past half hour, and there shewas…a fucking blood-stained travesty of a human being. She didn’t even look worthy enough to polish his shoes.

Maybe that was the exhaustion talking. This night had lasted for an eternity.

“So…” His words were low and rough in her ear. Heat prickled up the back of her neck. “While I’ve enjoyed the sight of you covered in my blood,” he swept a chunk of hair over her shoulder and one of his rings grazed the side of her throat, “I’m afraid I can’t let you walk around the outpost like that.”

Langdon moved away from her, and she stared at the muscles that rippled in his back as he retreated, this time without a sense of shame or a hint of rage.

“Take all the time you need.” And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him, the room so many degrees colder than she would’ve liked.

She let out a sigh. Well, shit.

In the end, she decided that taking a shower in the fucking Antichrist’s private en suite ranked very low on the list of unbelievable shit that had happened tonight. Exhaustion had made itself comfortable in her bones. And even though she thought of the blood on her as some kind of morbid trophy—she’d made the fucking Antichrist bleed and lived—all she wanted to do right now was clean herself up and sleep. Maybe for an eternity.

The cold air hit her skin, raising goosebumps as she let her dress pool around her ankles. Her bra and panties followed, and for a second she stood there in the soft yellow light of the candles, wondering what she’d do about the blood-stained clothes. Her vision went unfocused, tired and in a daze, her thoughts wandering off in too many directions. Thinking about Langdon just on the other side of that damned door and if she actually trusted him enough to make herself vulnerable with nothing but a rather thin wall between them.

And the knife.

She’d forgotten about it, honestly. It had been neglected on the floor by the shower, blood splattered on the tiles when Langdon had tossed it. The blade was more crimson than steel now. He’d been right, of course—to her deep, unwavering irritation, he always seemed to be right—she wasn’t the same. She didn’t feel the same. These past eighteen months had taken their toll, but this…it wasn’t anything she could explain. Had she always been like this? Had she always wanted to be like this? Or was it just what this strange, new world now demanded of her?

She kicked the knife under the pile of clothes.

The water ran dark red, the scent of whatever flowery soap that came standard in the outpost blossoming into the air. She watched the tendrils of red swirl in the soapy water around her feet until they vanished down the drain. The near scalding heat worked her tense, weary muscles loose.

Clouds of steam obscured the glass as she scrubbed at her skin until it was bright pink, eliminating every trace of Langdon’s blood. She melted into the warmth, eyes fluttering closed, trying to breathe after whatever the fuck had happened. When she realized she was actually falling asleep standing up, lulled into a gentle comfort by the water, she decided it was time to leave.

She shoved aside a few used towels on the floor with her foot, entirely cognizant of the fact that while she’d be one of the people washing them later, she’d used up all of Langdon’s clean towels out of spite. While towel-drying her hair, wandering around the bathroom in aimless circles, she noticed something folded over the chair in front of the vanity table. It definitely hadn’t been there before she’d hopped in the shower. Langdon’s en suite had been untouched except for the blood stains, devoid of anything personal.

Except for the coat that was now on the chair. The coat that he had somehow left in here while she’d been oblivious.

For…her?

Huh. That’s…something, all right.

She finished halfheartedly drying off her hair and then dropped the dampened towel into the pile with the rest. “Fuck it.”

After sliding her bra and panties back on, she considered the heap of blood-stained clothes and decided her shoes were the only thing worth saving. There was more identical, boring gray attire in her room; not as many as the Purples had in their wardrobes, but she could spare at least one set. She cleaned the blood off her shoes as best she could—she figured the bloodied towels were another problem for Langdon to solve—and then picked up the coat from the back of the chair.

Her stomach did another one of those obnoxious somersaults. It was an elegant coat, long and black and lined with buttons. She held it up, unfolding it to reveal the bright red lining on the inside. An equally obnoxious part of her brain remembered that Langdon had been wearing this coat when he’d first introduced himself to everyone in the outpost. She sunk into it, suddenly more alert than she’d been in the past half hour, her pulse speeding up its rhythm. It was the finest piece of clothing she’d worn in over a year, and probably the most expensive thing she’d ever worn in her life.

And it belonged to Langdon.

Was it possible that some part of him wasn’t complete hell spawn?

She pulled the coat closed and buttoned it—frustratingly aware that she was half-naked underneath it. Holy fuck, why. The fabric felt like silk against her bare skin, cool enough to provoke another round of goosebumps that broke through the lingering heat from her shower. The sleeves were too long, and her hands disappeared into them no matter how many times she pulled them back up. It smelled exquisite: rich and earthy like a rain-soaked forest with just a hint of wood smoke and something else, maybe warm spices and citrus. She breathed in deep, inhaling the intoxicating scent, recalling images of a world that hadn’t been nuked to hell. Is this what he smelled like all the time? She hadn’t had a chance to notice, what with all the blood. It was nice. Really nice.

Well. I’m fucked.

She suppressed a groan.

The knife had been left where she kicked it—there was no damn way Langdon didn’t know about it, either—and without a second thought, she wiped off the blood and stuffed it in an inside pocket. Once she gathered up her pile of stained clothes, she summoned whatever was left of her resolve in the mess of her own exhaustion and walked back into Langdon’s suite.

His attention had been pulled toward her at the sound of the bathroom door opening, half of his face caught in the pale white glow of a laptop screen. When did the outpost get WiFi?  He had one elbow propped up on the desk, his hand slowly curling into a loose fist. He was once again fully clothed in black. She didn’t miss the way his bright blue gaze took in the sight of her in his fucking coat. The way his lips curved into a smirk. The way his head tilted, and his chin rose as if in appreciation. Was it genuine, or was he just fucking with her? Maybe it was just her lustful, traitorous imagination. Maybe it was smugness, or fucking delight, because he’d helped put her in this situation.

She sighed. “Don’t.”

Langdon made an indifferent sort of gesture with his hand, but his smirk deepened. “I didn’t say a word.”

“You don’t have to.”  

He rose from the desk and crossed the room in several long strides to open the door. “I’ll need that back.”

“Obviously.” She made sure the corridor was empty before she stepped out. “No one will know about it.”

Langdon’s chin rose again, and this time she couldn’t read his expression. “Good night.”

The door clicked shut when she was halfway down the corridor. She moved as quickly as she could through the labyrinth of hallways—now more empty than they had been before; everyone had to have gone to bed by now. Not that time existed down here anymore, but she’d never felt the effects of such a weird, virtually lawless existence than she did walking through the outpost on this artificial night. She found herself both longing for the construct of time and thrilled that it no longer held any meaning. All she knew for sure was that she just wanted to fucking sleep. Langdon had drained whatever energy she’d had left.

She stopped once in her travels to burn her clothes in one of the large fireplaces; her eyes burned with fatigue while she watched the flames consume the last evidence of her bloody interview with Langdon. When she finally arrived at her room in the Gray quarters, her roommate was blissfully asleep, tucked away under the covers.

Slipping off her shoes, she padded across the room to her armoire under the dim light of the low burning candles. With a pang of reluctance that she did notwant to acknowledge in any way at all, she took off Langdon’s coat and stowed it among her comparatively dull wardrobe. It wouldn’t be in here long enough for her roommate to find it. The girl was gossipy to a fault, but she at least kept out of her belongings. Not that any of them had much to begin with.

She dressed in a plain, off-white linen nightgown that served no purpose other than to uphold Venable’s outdated aesthetic. And finally…finally, after this endless fucking night or whatever the hell it had been, she dragged her tired body to her bed and crawled under the blankets.

And she hid the Antichrist’s knife under her pillows.

@lastregasolitaria @mylippo @zeciex @lvngdvns @langdonsdemon @yourkingcodyfern @sojournmichael @gabnelson98 @rainbowrosesjas @antichristlangdxn @keavysmithxoxo @artistlunadrayne @codysfallenangels @batgirlbride @mileeyyowens @dead-witch-boy @boofy1998 @gentianea @cryptid-coalition @langdonsrapture @kinlovecody @yuriohoe04 @electricurie @marvel-rpdr-and-ahs @gallxntdean @langdonscurls @jcshadowkiss-blog @frozenhuntress67 @sebastianshoe @dixmond-taurus @bookobssesed99 @sassylangdon @queenie435 @holylangdon @weareallevilmotherfuckers-deact @langdonfern @angsty-otters-blog @denaexr @mr-langdonn @micheallangdons @lostin-fern @crazedcatcuddler @satansapostle @monsucre @ritualmichael @fernshorrorstory @queencocoakimmie @bluelancesredswords @theharvestgirloffire @punkysouls @sevenwondr  @zoebensvn @kylosbabe @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon x oc #michael langdon x fem!reader #michael langdon fanfiction #michael langdon imagine #ahs fic #ahs fanfiction #ahs imagine #ahs apocalypse #ahs apocalypse imagine #ahs apocalypse fanfiction #fic: reckoning

[kaiayame]

post s8 thoughts

the good, the bad, the mixed. 

the good

the marketplace at the garrison in ep 1! i’m a sucker for a marketplace. and allura got to go shopping!!

romelle was back! her hair was cute. 

i think the tone of the first episode was actually a really smart one to start the season on. i’m glad they jumped a few months (or was it a year?) since the end of last season. 

pidge and allura got some good bonding time in general this season. pidge giving up her game for allura was cute. and then when they were together on that planet where the olkari had lived, that was strong. 

pidge being upset about the loss of the olkari, lamenting over “how much more they had to offer us” was solid. i think they spent too much time on it, but the sentiment of mourning all the good that a people could’ve given the universe if they hadn’t been lost was solid. 

omg listen. keith and lance. literally sat together. just the two of them. watching a FREAKING sunset. and keith, in my opinion, basically said the nicest things anyone has ever said about lance to his face, and it felt like a confession of feelings from keith’s end tbh. the writers did that. they know that they did that. and it happened. it was real and so, so soft. i had to stand up in front of the tv while i was watching, clutching a pillow and screaming a bit. 

i think the amount shiro and coran were utilized throughout the story felt balanced. shiro especially has dominated so much of the story over the seasons, and even tho i love him, it felt nice to kind of have him become somewhat less of a focus. 

i think the episode where they got trapped in the ship with the monster was fun! did you see how crazy lance went when keith got stuck in that room with it?? 

the carnival episode!!! I love a good carnival setting :) i like that they all wanted to get something for allura.

the day 47 episode was also cute, imo. I thought it was clever. I loved kinkade! the overall concept could’ve gone really badly but it felt creative enough to me. I wish it had focused more on just the paladins, but still.

all of the MFE pilots actually didn’t annoy me this season, yay. 

veronica and axca had super gay vibes.

keith and axca didn’t happen! *throws confetti*

lance got called a genius by his fellow paladins! and they meant it! 

we got to see them all in their under suits and out of their paladin armor!

that short bit where Hunk made the recovered alteans food from their home world? I think that was actually more powerful and potent than the writers even intended. I thought that was really well handled and not heavy handed and had a lot of weight to it. 

the bit before the final battle with keith and lance alone at the war room table...................... prime, prime content. THEY HELD. HANDS. there was a CLOSE UP. i’m still living off of it. another “lost my shit” moment. favorite scene of the entire season. 

there was some genuinely good moments of humor. keith had some especially funny moments, i laughed out loud a few times, tho i can’t name anything super specific atm.....

it was nice that they tried to really work in the idea that unity is what’s important, and the best unity is built through love, and differences shouldn’t tear us apart and we are always stronger together, etc etc.... i think that was obviously the writers referencing our society’s current climate to some extent, so i appreciated them at least trying to touch on that, however generic and vague it was. 

they had some good new outfits this season?? it was nice to see the paladins in so many different clothes. and a lot of the garments were really cute!!

i like how often keith urged them to not give up. I think that’s another strong theme that’s existed throughout the series. it just strikes a personal note with me. i like how far keith has come as a character in general.

pidge’s mom making that flower for allura?? very sweet. 

i liked all of lance’s reactions to anyone mentioning someone having an interest in keith, haha. Obviously, i’m projecting, but still. 

i think the concept of ALL realities being threatened was actually great, because otherwise idk why they would’ve brought up there being other realities in the first place. the significant level of what was at stake with that being what the paladins were dealing with was a good choice. 

keith turning down becoming the new head of the galra. phew, thank you @god.

as always, studio mir is the lord’s animation studio and so much of the visuals were so excellent. can’t wait to see their future projects.

and honestly, it’s been fun. it’s been a fun show. it’s had a ton of problems but i cannot deny that i have seriously enjoyed watching a lot of it as a whole. 

i guess technically they did end the show on a gay kiss. 

the bad 

i’m not even that personally upset but it just goes to show how important an ending is. how a story leaves you makes such a significant impression. it’s probably the most important part of a narrative and OMG THESE WRITERS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRAP THINGS UP AT ALL, IT’S SO FUNNYYYYY.

so anyway, yeah........ episode 13.......................... what. 

like wtf was ep 13. 

what.

what even WAS THAT. PEOPLE got PAID to write THAT. 

lance became... altean? can that.... happen? also........... why???

and a farmer?? a simple life?? where did that even come from??? like sure, lance was homesick and missed rain one time. that doesn’t.... it just..... that doesn’t mean he should just be a random farmer?????? whose gf died, i guess??

speaking of that, OMG they fucking KILLED ALLURA. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WHAT A DUMB CHOICE. I’M STILL LAUGHING. I HAD NO EXPECTATION THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN. WOULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED THAT. AND YET IT DID. WTF. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH A DUMB WRITING CHOICE. HOW???

and the fact that they didn’t even EXPLAIN why honerva & allura had to do whatever it is they did????? criminal. ridiculous. 

and all that aside, allura and coran’s relationship was so important and so special and the fact the she and him didn’t get a goodbye? garbage. unbelievable. 

and to add to that, all of her goodbyes were underwhelming. shiro being like “you don’t have to thank me for anything” umm, what. yes she does. you did a lot. wtf, what was with that?

like i love allura, but also, why was the ending SO FOCUSED on just her?? And by that, i mean including the choice to kill her off. VLD has always been about the group. It just was a weird vibe to end on for many, many reasons. The ending should’ve been about her and the rest of them recognizing how they were more than just friends or paladins. They were family... like ALL THE WRITERS HAD TO DO was have them all together at the end?? I’m not even joking. That needed to be the ending, point blank...... AND THEY COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT. WHYYYY

ok moving on but still related, I HATE slideshow endings like that, in pretty much anything that isn’t a documentary or historical drama. I feel like it’s such a cop out. Writers should find confidence and end their story on a specific note. Not a series of slides.

as i was watching ep 13, tbh, the title got me excited. “the end is the beginning” made me feel like they were somehow going to get thrust back in time for a brief second to the moment they all met at the garrison, or met allura and coran, and somehow that was going to get pulled into the finale as a way they could re-establish all the destroyed realities.... so i guess this is my own fault for just hoping for something that wasn’t there, but whatever.

i think lotor and zarkon also got some really undeserved positive recognition. like, they both killed a LOT of people... some things are just too little too late. 

lotor coming “back” was also like, half assed. it was weird. it would’ve made more sense for honerva to start jumping through different realities earlier in the season “looking” for a version of her son and husband that she could be with. 

too many big robots. like..... so many different kinds of big robots. i couldn’t care less. 

as always, a lot of the fight scenes were repetitive as hell. I wish they’d been more creative and written them taking on different approaches rather than just charging at the bad guys.  

WHERE IS MY FORMAL WEAR EPISODE

sorry to hate on allurance, but like, neither lance or allura felt like their actual selves whenever they were together or trying to be a couple... it was weird and sad. Lance barely ever acted like himself this season. 

I thought they threw krolia around a bit too casually. Like she barely pops up and when she did it almost felt like the writers were like “oh yeah, i guess we should include her every now and then”

i thought allura being like “i don’t have a family” to lance was bullshit. like, hello, coran and romelle are right freaking there. more alteans are showing up every day. girl, what tf do you mean???

allura was also kind of excessively mean on multiple occasions?? she was cutting people off, being unreasonable, reckless, and kind of dark..... i didn’t really understand the sudden downfall of her character when she’d started out as this sort of insecure victim, but season after season became stronger and stronger and an awesome member of voltron. idk, it just felt out of place to make her a part of the problem for the final act. 

i wish i had......... cried. i wish they’d written at least one moment well enough that i actually got to experience at least a little bit of a tear.

adam didn’t magically come back from the dead. 

OMG and the kiss between shiro and random dude???? IT WAS SO SLOPPY, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. it was obviously thrown in at the very last possible moment because they were trying to cover their own asses about the adam thing. like, what was with that bad animation....

epilogues in general are just........ so bad. no one should do them. stop.

omg they never explained the altean colonies... 

honestly, as we kept getting closer and closer to the last episode, i was like....... they do know this is the LAST season, right??? they’re kind of running out of time??

that black entity thing should’ve been fleshed out more and had more of an actual purpose, especially because they touched on it before with the paladins of old. 

i feel like the writers just threw so many things out there over 8 seasons and didn’t actually.... resolve most of them. like, they needed to edit down sooooo much of what they were trying to do. it would’ve been such a stronger series overall if they’d just FOCUSED on the actual compelling parts of this story and its characters.

i feel zero closure tbh, lol. whatever.

the mixed

overall, i was pretty engaged for the most part from episode to episode, but i did get pretty damn bored a few times.

oh god, the leaks were real. it’s good and bad. 

lance and allura still felt SOOOO forced and awkward but at least they tried to give them some actual substance.

like I said before, yay romelle was back! but boo, she wasn’t as quirky or funny anymore :(

Slav bothering everyone was still quite enjoyable to me. i wish shiro had gotten roped into that more, tho. Missed opportunity.

Atlas didn’t feel quite as dumb... but it was still kind of dumb.

i thought honerva honestly held up as a villain. Maybe not a FINAL season villain, but meh. her motivation seemed legit enough and the lengths she was willing to go after 10k years of pain seemed real. I just..... ugh, i wish they’d stuck to her just being evil. Or revengeful. Lok tried to do the same thing with kuvira right at the end. there just... wasn’t enough time to actually do that right, in either case. Or if they were going to do it, Honerva should’ve sacrificed just herself and allura should’ve left with all the other paladins, and that could’ve redeemed her character if that’s what they were going for.

the 2nd episode that focused just on honerva was... fine i guess, but i thought they didn’t define the mixing of timelines very well. it would jump from one clip to another and i didn’t realize fully that we’d gone back in time, or returned to the present, or were seeing this important thing before moving on to another. idk, the order just didn’t work for me. 

i’m glad allura got so much more focus but i feel like keith had so many important story points throughout every season and it felt weird that he was kind of just in the background for the most part of every episode.... like if vld had a “main” character, i always kind of felt that it was slightly keith.... so i’m sad that he didn’t really get much of an ending.

and that being said, i guess this is just a negative, but i feel like keith and shiro’s relationship just didn’t matter anymore??? that was so weird to me?? it was such a focus for SO LONG, it didn’t feel good to just never address them ever. 

there was this really awesome momentum going in the first half of season 8 for this theme of “not holding on to the past / letting the old give way to the new” and they just….. totally lost it. Like, it just never came up again by the end, lol. But i liked it a lot while it was initially there. Just.... wish these writers knew how to stick a landing, jesus. 

like, that older olkari woman that pidge was trying to call out to? she probably had one of the best speeches of the season when she was telling that little olkari girl to go on and be a part of the future. that’s what i’m saying. it had good momentum. they just didn’t fully realize it :/

i think where they started to lose the narrative was in the two part episode, the knights of light ones. going into honerva’s mind seemed cool and i appreciated them trying to do a few interesting things with it, but bringing back the old paladins didn’t feel right. For some reason, I didn’t enjoy allura reconnecting with like, the spirit of her father. I felt like it was a loss that should’ve remained a loss. and yeah, just in general, having them bring up the idea of the benefits and power behind “the old making way for the new” just wasn’t supported by bringing the old paladins BACK... it felt counterproductive. i didn’t like it.

Anyway. I feel like i’m still forgetting stuff and I’ll probably go back and edit this post but yeah. Enjoyed a decent chunk of the final season. Cannot..... even believe how dumb some of the writing choices were. Will forever be slightly confused. Canon is whatever. I’ve still enjoyed this show and its characters and a lot of the amazing content fans have created for it, and it is what it is and at least it’s over and done with :]

#spoilers #so many spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron s8 #voltron #my thoughts

[makeste]

BnHA Episode 39: It’s Freestyle

Previously on BnHA: Pretty sure this takes place just after the whole “Deku goes to the shopping mall with his pals! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN -- oh. Oh, no” incident. Deku, Shigaraki is coming. OH MY GOD HE HAS AIRPODS ON. HE CAN’T HEAR US. OH MY GOD.

But of course it all turned out fine and Tomura skipped back home to plot how to destroy All Might by something something kidnapping Bakugou.

Today on BnHA: 

It snowed, and I went home from work early. So I turned on The Pool Episode of the BnHA anime because WHY NOT. 

Just FYI, I’ve only watched this once before, several months back, and don’t remember too much of it except that everyone has a very loose concept of what freestyle swimming is, and that I very much enjoyed it.

This recap will be manga spoiler-free since we want everyone to be able to have a fun time! So as long as you’re all caught up with the anime you should be good to go. I think I made a few references to the forest lodge arc but that’s it.

okay so the episode opens up in the ol’ villain bar (man I miss this place), with some All Might TV special playing, until Kurogiri switches it off

and now he’s turning to Tomura and they’re just like. staring at each other

and now Tomura is grinning and saying “I figured it out”

again, if you recall, he’s just had the epiphany that his purpose in life is to fuck up the Symbol of Peace in whatever way he can. so he’s pretty happy. I think it was Mark Twain who said, “the two most important days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you go to the mall and realize you just want to make All Might really sad”

so he’s recapping that the reason why Stain and the U.A. Wunderkinds piss him off so much is because of All Might, and All Might pisses him off because he’s always smiling “so thoughtlessly”

and now he’s running off somewhere. probably to plan the kidnapping

alone again, huh Kurogiri

he’s so cute lol

he’s looking at the photo of Izuku that Tomura conveniently left sitting on the counter, and mentally summarizing who Izuku is and what his most notable accomplishments are. because this is lowkey a clip show filler episode to ease people into the anime’s third season. but it’s pretty well done though

and now we’re cutting to Deku’s apartment, and he’s narrating about how they’ve finished their first semester at U.A. and have now started their summer vacation!

au contraire, Deku. this episode begs to differ

so he’s continuing his workouts to prepare for the upcoming training camp

I’m sure that camp is going to go great, by the way

and now we’re getting a flashback to that video of All Might rescuing people. the one that baby Deku loved so much

and he’s thinking about how All Might gave him his power. you know. just to remind anyone who’s only just now tuning in, for whatever reason. and they’re like “what is this weird show and who is this green-haired person who gives me weird Tsuna vibes”

and then the doorbell rings, cutting into his reverie!

and LOOK WHO IT IS

how do you guys know where Deku lives. and you do know that Bakugou also lives just like the next block over, yes? I mean. since you’re here and all

no one would ever do this, by the way. wear a long-sleeved black button-down shirt in Tokyo in August, I mean. but also, no one would just randomly visit someone’s house just to ring the doorbell and invite them to go someplace when they could have just texted them instead

but that is indeed what they are doing! they have come to invite Deku to go with them to the school pool! for training. wink

and now we’re cutting to Vlad and Aizawa as they plan the training camp

but before that, Vlad has a favor he’d like to ask Aizawa

“all twenty of them. in detail. but also, like, don’t take too long, though. just maybe kind of summarize it and give me a presentation that’s roughly, let’s say, about two minutes long”

and Aizawa just agrees. just rolls with it with no hesitation at all

and starts rattling off his students in alphabetical order

meanwhile my mind starts wandering and I start to wonder if Horikoshi intentionally planned it so that Izuku would come directly after Katsuki in an alphabetical list of the class 1-A kids. or if that was just a coincidence. he puts so much thought into the names that I wonder if he rejected any last names that started with an H or a P or a B just so he could do this

anyway now Aizawa is done. it actually took two and a half minutes

obviously there’s no time for that, Aizawa!!

lol and he’s interrupted by Deku, Kami, and Mineta barging in and asking if their request to use the pool was approved

you mean to tell me you guys dragged Deku all the way here and you didn’t even know if it was okayed or not

thankfully, Aizawa says that the school did indeed approve them to use the pool until 5pm

[shifty eyes] yep. endurance training. you know us. fuckin’ love to endure. and train. yessirree

there is no way he actually bought that even for a second, right?

but anyways, he’s telling them to do their best

he probably doesn’t actually care. or he just bought it because Deku was there, which of course was Kami and Mineta’s plan the whole time

and now we’re cutting to the pool, and sweet, innocent Deku genuinely believes they’ve really come here to train. “what a great idea, Mineta!”

he’s also excited because since they’re at school they can also use their quirks

which yeah, I forgot that would normally be forbidden at the ocean or at a municipal pool or whatever. for reasons which will later become apparent in this very episode

anyways, so Kami and Mineta are all, “[shifty eyes] [snrrk] that’s right! PLUS ULTRA”

I fucking love how Deku is just the ultimate rube here

meanwhile Kaminari is telepathically communicating to Mineta that inviting “the diligent Midoriya” was a good call. he really does lend legitimacy to the whole operation

Mineta is telepathically communicating back that if it had just been the two of them, they might not have gotten permission

wow they’re actually having a whole damn conversation in this manner

so now Kaminari (still via telepathy) is asking “by the way, there’s no problem with that, is there?” and Mineta is all “nah I overheard all the girls saying they were gonna meet up at the school pool over the summer break”

except he doesn’t get to the point right away, and we actually see a cute flashback scene with the girls all talking about how the school said they were supposed to refrain from taking any long trips over the summer

meaning that poor Momo had to cancel her vacation plans

sorry Momo, instead you’re just going to have to settle for being attacked by a monster with chainsaw hands, and saving Bakugou’s life. when life gives you lemons

and then they go on to plan the meetup at the pool

and there’s a scene of Mineta and Kaminari fantasizing about the girls in their cute swimsuits. but it’s tainted by Mineta’s perverted aura

and now the two of them are running down the hall heading for their paradise

ONLY TO FIND

oh right, this was the episode when I realized that Iida Tenya and Ryuugazaki Rei = maybe the same person?? I don’t know, what do you guys think. it’s just a theory

anyway so all these cuties are also here

hey hey hey indeed

because it’s The Pool Episode, Mineta. listen, we’re going to see Todoroki without a shirt. whether you like it or not

Deku says that since they were doing endurance training, he messaged everyone to see if they wanted to come

doin’ god’s work there, Deku

and like, we already knew this, guys, but Iida Tenya is fucking ripped. like, he is built. he is SOLID

I’m just saying

now Kaminari is clutching a fist woefully and saying that Deku is too diligent

but Mineta is telling him to calm down and that the girls are still here too

and they are!

hey ladies

anyway so Kaminari is annoyed that they’re not wearing bikinis, but it’s still good enough for Mineta

I don’t know why I’m detailing their antics, but I mean they are responsible for getting us here in their own roundabout way, so

anyway, now this towering Muscle God is coming up to them and congratulating them

it’s like his arms are made of Cotati metal fibers

and now he’s cheerfully lugging them off to come exercise with them

oh wow we’re doing the commercial break thing. so we’re already halfway through the episode. how bout that

so the girls are splashing around with a beach ball and having a blast, and it’s very cute

meanwhile the boys are taking a 15-minute break, and Kami and Mineta are lying on the ground already exhausted

and Iida is opening up a cooler full of orange juice

Kami is bitterly asking why Mineta applied to use the pool for endurance training when they could have gotten permission to use it for sunbathing like the girls did

meanwhile poor Aoyama is shivering and clutching his stomach, having apparently overworked himself

so my takeaway from this though is that his navel laser is waterproof. technology is so cool

Iida’s walking over to Deku and handing him a drink, and now Iida is getting all reflective on how far their friendship has come

which is of course a means of segueing to more flashbacks (of the U.A. entrance exam, and their first battle training exercise at Ground Beta)

and then at the end of all that reminiscing, Kacchan decides to make his grand entrance!

and of course since this is a filler, full Flanderization is in effect, and he’s pretty much immediately establishing his personality as Hates Everyone But Especially Deku by stomping over towards Deku like he wants to fight him for basically no reason

but thankfully this guy’s here too

and of course, Kiri’s own Flanderized personality is basically just The Bakugou Whisperer

Bakugou is all “HEY SHITTY DEKU YOU WANNA SETTLE OUR SCORE RIGHT NOW” lmao

and Deku is all “eh heh, no thanks”

BUT!

Iida Tenya has other ideas!

and now he’s raising his hand high into the air and loudly asking if the other guys want to see which one of them can swim 50 meters the fastest

yesssss Iida. somebody realizes he’s in a filler episode! time to get our pointless competition on!!

and now the music is picking up and the other guys are like “YEAH! THAT’S A GOOD IDEA!”

and the girls are volunteering to help as well! because Momo also realizes she’s in a filler!

Ojiro does not realize he’s in a filler, apparently, if he’s asking a stupid question like this

no, Ojiro, you’re just going to spend the rest of the episode swimming like normal people. pssh. as if. who tf would watch a whole anime just about a bunch of hot guys swimming. who would watch three whole seasons of that. who would watch three seasons and four movies of that. god, Ojiro

anyway, Iida is like, yes, duh, quirks

Bakugou is grinning and stomping over to Deku and he’s all “I’LL CRUSH YOU, DEKU.” because you know Bakugou. all day long, he’s just, “gotta crush that Deku!” all day erryday

oh wait, and we can’t forget about that other guy too

“why am I involved in this, I was just sitting here quietly”

so now that we’ve established how Bakugou wants to crush everyone, we’re cutting to our first race!

and it’s Mineta, Tokoyami, Kouda, Bakugou, and Kaminari

Momo’s telling them to take their marks

and of course, as soon as she blows her whistle, Bakugou activates his quirk and just blasts off to the other side

Kiri and Sero are all WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘HOW WAS THAT’, YOU DIDN’T EVEN SWIM

and Bakugou is all

which is honestly the best joke of the entire episode ngl

so then next are Satou, Kirishima, Sero, Aoyama, and Todoroki

and given what we just saw from Bakugou, it’s pretty obvious what’s about to happen here

thank you filler gods

and then Iida, Deku, Ojiro, and Shouji

and by this point you have to figure that Shouji and Ojiro already know they’re screwed

amazingly, even though Iida activates Recipro, Deku still somehow beats him to the other side. we’ll all agree this is blatantly impossible and that Iida for whatever reason just let him win. Iida would have already been at the other side of the pool before Deku could even fucking say the words “full cowl”

and now Todoroki is watching Deku help Iida out of the pool, and he’s flashing back to the sports festival when Deku broke all of his fingers in the name of love and friendship

lol and Iida’s flashing back to all that Hero Killer arc stuff

it’s so dramatic. you’re at the fucking pool guys. calm the fuck down

then for some reason we briefly cut over to the police station where Naomasa is showing All Might a slideshow of stuff that he already knows, and summing up the rest of the League of Villains’ activities up to this point

and now we’re back at the pool where the three main char -- I mean, the winners of the previous three heats, Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki, are going to race each other for first place

and Bakugou’s telling Todo not to hold back like he did at the sports festival! and Deku too!

and they’re all lining up! and their squads are cheering them on!

baby~ this is what you came for~

and Iida blows the whistle, and they all leap into the air -- !

BUT THEN

oh my god I forgot about this part

I’m laughing so hard

and everyone is all WHAAAA

and Sero is holding up his hands in confusion and he’s all “their quirks were erased?”, as though it’s a complete and utter mystery how something like that could ever possibly happen!

and then this mofo walks in announcing that it’s now 5pm

and he’s telling them all to go home

they’re starting to argue with him that they just got to the good part

but Aizawa is all

and they’re all “LOL NOPE”

so then we cut to Bakugou and Kirishima walking home, and Bakugou is complaining about how Aizawa stopped the race

and he’s thinking that he won’t lose to Todoroki and Deku

and meanwhile Deku is standing on Dagobah beach, and All Might walks up to him

and there are a few more quick flashbacks about One for All being passed down to Deku, blah blah blah

and then All Might is all “Midoriya-shounen, the training camp will be tough,” which may just be the most hilarious understatement of all time

and that’s it! that’s the episode!

I gotta say, even with it basically being just an excuse for flashbacks, I still enjoyed this ep even on the second go-around. this should be a template for all future BnHA anime filler. just have all the class 1-A kids hanging around doing stupid stuff. that’s it. I’m easy to please lol

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #kaminari denki #iida tenya #bakugou katsuki #pretty much everyone from class a tbh #makeste reads bnha #makeste watches bnha #filler bakugou's life is basically just greentext of >be me >gotta crush deku #just on repeat #is it weird that I find it really endearing #you get that bread filler bakugou

[thecartoonarchivist]

Weekly Spotlight #4

Week number 4 of the Weekly Spotlight! I apologize for the wait; I’m still working out the kinks in my schedule.

Alrighty! So! Our weekly spotlight winner is:

*an even more vibrant drumroll!*

My Life as a Teenage Robot

I have a lot of fond memories of this show, as I’m sure many others do. Before sitting down and rewatching a couple episodes, from what I remembered about it, it was a little bit of an odd-ball. It always skirted this line of being accessible enough that the average viewer could relate to it while also being straight up bizarre enough to remember just how different this world is from our own. This show would mix the 1950′s aesthetic with science fiction concepts to cement itself, at least in my mind, alongside other animations such as Meet The Robinsons, George Shrinks! and, oddly enough, Samurai Jack. It was a slice of life, mixed with action and adventure, and some elements of horror? Which... ended up distinguishing itself from other similar “crime fighting teenagers” like Kim Possible, Teen Titans, or W.I.T.C.H. As a result, this show dealt with a lot of common problems and themes that teenagers faced in very odd ways, all under the guise of an action, sci-fi show.

So let’s have a little bit of a history lesson, shall we?

Back in the late 90′s, Nickelodeon began to host a show that was called Oh Yeah! Cartoons which has been called TV’s biggest animation development program ever. Dozens of filmmakers were contracted by Nickelodeon to create 7 minute cartoons that would be spliced together into a half-hour time-slot. This “show” would then air on television and depending on the approval ratings of the audience, these cartoon shorts would then be commissioned into a TV show for Nick. Producing nearly 100 of these cartoon shorts, this “animation laboratory” would jumpstart many individuals’ careers in the industry such as Seth MacFarlane, Vincent Waller, Dave Wasson, and Butch Hartman.

One such individual would be a man named, Rob Renzetti with a short titled, My Neighbor Was A Teenage Robot. Due to very high approval ratings, Nickelodeon commission for the show and would later on be titled, My Life As a Teenage Robot. It aired in 2003 and was eventually cancelled after 3 seasons (ironically) due to poor ratings.

So for our premise!

Jenny (or, XJ-9, as her mother calls her) is a crime-fighting, superhero robot who dreams of being a teenage girl just like other human beings. However, she has to juggle her duties as a superhero and her social life as a teenager, which leads wacky shenanigans, problems, and overall, grief  for Jenny as she attempts to fit in. She’s partnered with her friends Brad and Tuck as they tag along on her adventures, and she even has an admirer named, Sheldon, who tries to woo her in his own awkward way. She fights monsters, aliens, and a robot queen named, Vexus who is trying to recruit Jenny her robot world the planet Cluster Prime, while also dealing with the Crust Cousins who are out to destroy Jenny’s social reputation. Can a girl ever catch a break?

These episodes are broken up into 2 eleven minute segments with problems that are usually resolved by the end of the episode. There isn’t so much of a “continuity” per se, but there are episodes that reference earlier ones so while you can dive right in with any old episode you want, I’d keep in mind which one I’m choosing.

So on the whole how did this series hold up?

Well, the first several episodes are pretty shaky. Although the visuals were very unique to watch and the soundtrack was entertaining to listen to, I felt that some of the episodes weren’t all that entertaining. The problems felt fairly realistic, or at least believable for a “teenage robot,” however, it was easy to tell that the creators were still figuring out what they wanted to do with this series. What kind of character did they want to make Jenny? What kind of dynamic did they want the support cast to be like? What kind of bad guys did they want Jenny to go up against? And as a result, some of the early episodes suffered in quality. Overall, I felt like the first season, especially a lot of the first half, was simply establishing the status quo of the series. Yet, in spite of this, there were several episodes that I felt that the series really hit its stride and gave a solid balance of uniqueness and familiarity that left me both intrigued for more and very entertained with the product I’ve received.

There were some episodes that left me simply... disturbed. Two of them being Attack of 5 and 1/2 ft. Geek and The Return of the Raggedy Android. Some of you might remember the second one as the skin episode... (And if you don’t, consider yourself blessed...) With Attack of the 5 and 1/2 ft. Geek, Jenny has a screw loose in her arm and solicits the help of Sheldon to fix her problem. Having a large passion for robotics, Sheldon is not only happy to help but also becomes extremely infatuated with Jenny after she saves him. Extremely infatuated. To the point of stalking her. And showering her with unnecessary gifts. The others kids at school even laugh at her and bully her for her newfound “boyfriend.” Jenny is obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable and finds any excuse to get away from him. Eventually, she gets a call from her mother saying that there’s a gang downtown (the Lonely Heart’s Club, btw) which is causing havoc and requires her assistance. With Sheldon following her every move, the gang gets very jealous of Sheldon and Jenny’s “relationship” and kidnaps Sheldon. Jenny has to swoop in and save him, having also finally snapped at having Sheldon being called her boyfriend. She goes off, calling Sheldon creepy, a stalker, and a host of other things that are not only accurate, but legitimate concerns that any other teenage girl would have in such a situation. Sheldon is hurt and in a weird turn of events, he saves Jenny after she gets captured during her rant. The episode ends with Jenny apologizing about what she said and says that maybe they can hang out sometime... as friends. Just... friends. Sheldon goes on to be a recurring character of the series, causing a lot of shenanigans and other problems as a result of his infatuation.

Since the series ended with Jenny never establishing a relationship with either Brad nor Sheldon, many speculate as to which one she would have started dating. Although there aren’t any definitive answers from the team about who would have ended up with, the team appears to favor Sheldon as a candidate. Which... I find very problematic.

Sheldon stalked her, made her uncomfortable, and through the course of the series, lied to her, toyed with her emotions, and caused her much emotional grief. And yet, she’s supposed to apologize to Sheldon for being so “cruel” even though she was voicing some legitimate concerns about his conduct, and eventually end up with him as a boyfriend? Nuh-uh. No bueno. That’s not exactly something you should be teaching little girls. If she is uncomfortable being around him, she shouldn’t be obligated to hang out with him--- even if it hurts his feelings. And by remaining friends with him, she’s using him for upgrades her mother denies; stringing him along with the possibility of being “more than friends”; and overall, setting up an uncomfortable situation for both of them to be in. I don’t see how that’s okay to promote that kind of relationship to any kid. It’s just simple wish fulfillment and for a TV show that will be shown to children, that’s not okay. Keep it in your personal diary, or on your personal computer, because promoting this sort of relationship is extremely toxic and I don’t approve. At all.

Now... the infamous skin episode...

The basic problem of the episode is that Jenny wants to hang out at teenage hotspot called Mezmer’s. However, the owner of the shop won’t allow her in because she’s a robot. Remembering the freakish false skin that her mother designed her several episodes before, she attempts to reuse it after having received several upgrades to make it more believable. And it works! She becomes beautiful! More popular! She even gets to dance with Don Prima, the local heartthrob that Jenny has a crush on! Overall, she’s simply... normal. However, the second-skin seems to have a life of its own and puts itself on in Jenny’s sleep. It coaxes her to be more normal, to stop fighting crime, to focus on her beauty and her looks because that’s what a normal girl does. But once Brad becomes endangered by an intergalactic biker gang that threats destroy the shop, Jenny sheds her new skin and learns to accept herself for all her imperfections and unique personality traits. Because that’s what’s truly normal about her.

This episode was probably the most prominent that I remembered watching as a kid. And for a good reason too... This. Episode. Was. Horrifying! I’m not even kidding! Rewatching this as an adult, I kept thinking to myself “This is a children’s show?!?” One of the first interactions that we see with this new skin is that it claws its way up Jenny’s body while she shouts, “I can’t breathe!”

Later on, we see the exoskin crawl its way across Jenny’s floor and attack her like a snake while she sleeps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJjJmGv6ztY

(The video is pretty poor quality, but it’s the only one I can find.)

What. The. Fuck.

Oh, but it’s alright because she sheds the skin in the end and everything returns to a relative normal.

Except for the fact that the ending implies that the skin takes another victim and survives. Yeah. IT’S A REAL THING.

The message that the episode taught was great. It’s a message that teenage girls really do need to hear: that you have your own normal and that trying to be others’ version of “normal” can end up changing who you really are and up taking away all of the cool, badass qualities that make you, well, you. The problem is that this episode is so terrifying how the hell do you show this to kids?!? The fact that I remembered this episode so vividly despite the fact that I haven’t seen this show since it aired is a testament to the fact that it I probably shouldn’t have watched it as a child. I just... I’m baffled on how this got made! It’s... just... *shivers.*

I mean, questionable episodes aside, the show itself was interesting. The visuals were certainly unique and interesting to watch. The character designs were so original and iconic that going back and watching the original cartoon short, it’s kind of crazy that they weren’t always like that. The soundtrack, sound effects, even some of the voice acting was enjoyable the listen to. As I said before, it has a very 50′s aesthetic with a futuristic twist, which gives it this odd balance between feeling dated but also surprisingly modern. The backgrounds appear to be hand-painted, which is probably the reason for its dated look; I think it was a rather nice touch. I honestly have to give it to the sound effects department for being so on top of the little noises and such for every little movement Jenny made. It really created a sense of life in the character and I really did appreciate it in the small moments. I will have to say though, going back and watching this series, it didn’t exactly age as well as I had hoped. There were some nice episodes that I enjoyed but many of the episodes I found were pretty mediocre at best. Maybe it’s simply because I’ve gotten older and many of the jokes/gags just weren’t funny anymore. Maybe it’s because the characters themselves were simply 2-dimensional at best and dealt with stereotypical teenage problems. I’m not sure but really, I just wasn’t amused. Now, maybe I just need to watch more of this series as it appears to be a bit of a slow burn but really I’m just not that hype to jump on rewatching it.

If I had to rate this show, I’d probably give it a 6.8 out of 10. 

I’ll probably sit down and rewatch all of this at some point; after all, it seems decent enough. But really, if I never watch it again, I wouldn’t be too upset. It’s pretty much what I’d call “bubble gum TV;” if I want to turn on something mindless for a little while, I’d probably watch it but I wouldn’t be too invested. It’s just pretty... bland.

I think a lot of people have a bit of rose-tinted goggles when looking at this show and as such, it becomes kind of hard to criticize it. Does it deserve to be forgotten? Not necessarily. But I don’t think that it’s really as great as a lot of people think of it to be.

As for me, I’m gonna put this back in the shelves of my vault to watch one day. But when that day will be? We’ll just have to wait around and see what happens.

[Edit 11/21/118: I’m testing out a new tagging system. Let’s see if this fixes the broken links issues.]

If there are any corrections you’d like to make in regards to this post, please feel free to send me a message with your corrections and I’ll get back to it as soon as I can!

Do you remember a cartoon your friends have never heard of? Got a scene from an animated film that you’re dying to know the name to? Send your questions to The Cartoon Archivist and I’ll see what I’ve got in the vault!

#my life as a teenage robot #nickelodeon #nicktoons #TEENick #SNICK #weekly spotlight #2005~2010 #cartoons #wow this one was popular with nick #I tagged it as 2005-2010 because it premiered during those years #but the thing is that it piloted in 1999 so... #It's just got a weird timeline I guess.

[tyrantisterror]

Well Made Futility: Infinity War Thoughts

I saw Infinity War for a second time and have some thoughts.  SPOILERish thoughts, so, y’know, a cut here for the sake of those who care about such things.

I mean, I actually think this movie is better if you know what you’re in for going in, but I’m weird so what do I know.

So like... Infinity War is fucking difficult to evaluate.  It’s a movie that does something completely unprecedented in film - while we all enjoyed joking about it, no single movie crossover has attempted to weave this many VERY different stories, characters, and (especially) tones into one coherent narrative before.  It is a crossover unlike any other in film.  And it’s mostly successful!

but

I know we all like to dunk on Marvel’s films because they’re popular and make a lot of money, and all of us have an inner hipster who hates things that are successful regardless of their actual quality or content, because fuck that man we’re not normies we only like things BEFORE they’re cool.  But as a person who loves “genre” fiction - i.e. Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror, anything that isn’t set in standard reality - the Marvel movies have been kind of revolutionary.  Genre films had gotten so LIMITED before Iron Man, and it was stupidly limited at that.  We could accept that a billionaire fury who punches criminals could walk into a police department without making everyone burst into laughter, but we couldn’t accept that a strange chemical bath would permanently bleach a clown-turned-criminal’s skin.  We could accept a guy getting powers from a spider OR a guy being really good at science but not both. We could accept a guy growing claws out of his hands, but god help you if that man also wears something other than black skintight leather.  Everything had to be “grounded” and “real”, and I put quotations marks around those words because what they REALLY meant in the context of Hollywood was “boring.”

but

And then Marvel slowly chipped away at that.  Not at first - Iron Man and The Hulk were about as restrained as the superhero movies that preceded them, but slowly the movies conditioned us to accept weird shit.  Thor brought in Norse mythology and a certain kind of magic, although they dressed it up as “advanced science”, because we were in a transition and that was a concession they could make.  Captain America took us out of modern day - a risky idea, period piece action movies are never a sure thing - and also introduced the idea of a serum that can turn you into either the ULTIMATE BEEFCAKE or a red skinned skeleton man depending on your moral compass, which is PRETTY FUCKING WEIRD when you think about it.

but

Then The Avengers happened.  Before that movie came out, every conventional Hollywood line of thinking told us it would fail.  Movies with multiple heroes don’t succeed.  That’s why Batman and Robin sucked, right - too many heroes?  And Batman and Robin, why, that’s the worst film ever!  Spiderman 3 had too many villains!  You can’t have more than two super powered guys in a movie - that’s just movie law!  Having more than two super power guys is box office poison.

but

But The Avengers wasn’t.  Maybe most of you don’t remember it because we’ve had 10 years of these Marvel movies and their success seems like an inescapable fact now, but The Avengers defied expectations by being both good AND a box office success - a ridiculously lucrative one at that!  The Avengers took a huge fucking risk and it paid off.

but

Then it happened again.  People assumed The Avengers was as weird as you could go.  Critics were CERTAIN these movies would peter out eventually, that they couldn’t keep doing the impossible.  One of these risks had to doom them.  And a lot of critics looked at one movie on the post The Avengers slate - Guardians of the Galaxy - and said, “That’s the one - that’s gonna be the turd.  A movie about a talking raccoon and a tree monster - two RIDICULOUS character concepts that sound more like jokes than something a studio would actually put in their action movie - along with some d-listers no one but hardcore nerds care about, all directed by a guy best known for gore-filled low budget b movies?  That’s going to kill Marvel.  There is no way that film can be good, much less a financial success.”

but

Guardians of the Galaxy was not just good, but it’s the best series within the franchise.   Yeah, fuckin’ fight me on it nerds.  (no actually don’t I’m voicing a subjective opinion in this paragraph I don’t actually give a shit about ranking movies like this)

but

Even when their movies weren’t game changers, they were still solid and fun.  Whether or not they’re your cup of tea, Marvel’s superhero movies are never worse than “good.”  Some of them are “great.”  Some, like The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Black Panther, are arguably transformatively great.  At the very least, these films taken as a collective whole have changed the way we approach Genre Films.  They have redefined what is possible - they reminded Hollywood that suspension of disbelief is a malleable thing, even if some studios haven’t quite grasped the concept yet.

but

Which brings me back to Infinity War.  Like The Avengers before it, Infinity War brings different characters from many different stories with many different tones and styles and, to an extent, genres/subgenres, and blends them into a coherent and emotionally resonate whole.  It requires you to have seen at least the majority of the previous DECADES worth of movies to work, but that’s not a flaw - no more than, say, the twentieth chapter of a novel requiring you to read the previous 19 at any rate.  Infinity War needs those previous films to function, and to its credit, it not only uses what they built, but does so in genuinely surprising ways.  You didn’t think you needed a Rocket Raccoon/Thor team up in your life, but this movie proves you did.  You also didn’t think you’d see Rocket Raccoon genuinely reach out to Thor (who, to him, is a relative stranger) and try to help him through his grief, but it happens, and it’s a legitimately interesting moment that movies both characters forward in their respective arcs.  This movie is more than just taking a bunch of toys out of a toybox and smashing them together (though yes, there are parts of it that are very much that - these are action adventure movies, after all).  Characters develop and bounce off each other in glorious and meaningful ways.  There is a weight to everything beyond the obvious, mercenary Hollywood mandate to make as much money as possible by getting fans of all these different franchises into one theater.

but

The movie even tries to rectifies some of the franchise’s most notable flaws, in particular their lack of decent villains.  You could count the number of actually compelling and interesting villains from the previous 18 films on one hand.  Thanos, the big bad of this film, finally gets us to the other palm.  His motives are understandable but NOT justified - that is to say, you can understand why a person may believe what he believes, but at the end of the film you know for a fact he’s wrong.  Thanos is a bad guy whose evil plan will destroy countless lives, but he manages not to be the cartoonish caricature of a villain whose over the top “destroy the world” motivation makes no sense.  It’s nuanced, is my point.  I don’t think he’s the best Marvel has offered us - he wouldn’t crack my top three just yet - but he’s miles above most of the competition.

BUT

So here’s the crux of my review.  When I got to the ending of the movie - an ending that, admittedly, I spoiled for myself ahead of time, because I do that for most movies ever since I got majorly burned by Jurassic Park III when I was a teen - I couldn’t stop thinking about it, because it’s... it’s a paradox.  Not just the ending, either, but the whole movie.  This is a film that both does and doesn’t work.  It is both an amazing feat and... and fundamentally broken.

And it all has to do with those 18 films before it.

Ok, so: if taken as its own story, that is to say, as just it’s own thing, not the part of a greater whole... then the ending of Infinity War is exactly the ending this story needed.  This is Thanos’s story more than anyone else’s, when you get right down to it, and from the perspective that this movie is meant to tell his story and his story alone, the ending is the only one that would fit.  Thanos gets everything he wants, at the cost of everything that mattered to him.  His crazed vision finally comes true, and the audience feels the full weight of how horrible that is. That ending - that maddening, confounding ending, where almost every hero we’ve come to love over 18 goddamn films is killed with the snap of his fingers - shows us exactly why we can’t let monsters like Thanos come to power, and how even the monsters like Thanos himself are destroyed by following those mad dreams through (a point reinforced by the cameo of a long forgotten past villain, Red Skull).

However, as I said before, you really CAN’T take this movie on its own.  Structurally it DEPENDS on you seeing those previous films.  You have to have seen them just for this movie to make sense, and to be emotionally affected by it you must also have cared about those movies and their characters.  This movie is a sum of those parts.

And as a followup to those 18 films - as a part of their greater whole - it fails.  So many characters we followed and love - Black Panther, Spider-Man, every fucking guardian of the galaxy except Rocket and maybe Nebula if we count her, just to name a few - is killed off in a literal instant.  With the exception of Loki, each of these deaths kind of renders their preceding journey pointless.  Peter Parker was just starting his journey in his preceding film - so was Black Panther, so was Dr. Strange, so were many of the others.  Imagine if Hamlet was killed in act 1 of his play - everything about him would be unresolved, and all of his supporting cast would have no anchor to the plot since the conflict they’re involved in is removed with Hamlet’s death.  You’d have to start over.  Other characters are farther along, but with rare exception, none of them had what could be called a satisfactory end.  If the deaths in this movie actually hold true, then most of the preceding 18 movies have been broken.  They are wastes of time.

Of course, a savvy person would note that literally every character killed in this movie has been cast in the next Avengers film, due out next year.  Spider-Man and the Guardians have announced movies with release dates after that one, too.  Black Panther’s sequel has been announced although the release date has not.  These deaths are highly unlikely to stick.

BUT if that’s the case, well... then this movie’s broken again, because now that ending has no weight.  Now that ending is pointless - in fact, this whole movie is, because it’s all just going to be undone by the next.  Either this film was a narrative waste of time, or the preceding 18 were.  There’s no other option.

...but...

There is, I suppose, a possibility.  A faint one, admittedly - I have no idea if they can achieve it.  There’s a possibility the fourth Avengers film could find a way to make this movie’s weight hold while still putting all those dead characters’ stories back on track.  Infinity War was conceived as a two part film story, after all, even if they dropped the “Part 1″ label come release.  No matter how much this film wants you to think otherwise, it is just part of whole - and maybe, just maybe, the second one will make the first work WITHIN that whole.

I don’t see how it can, but then, I didn’t see how they could make me care about fuckin’ Rocket Raccoon.  And Guardians of the Galaxy is, as I said, the best one.

If I were a betting man, I’d bet on this movie ultimately being a narrative cul de sac - a very well made, but ultimately pointless entry that is invalidated by what comes after it.  If that ends up being the case, then that’s kind of sad - but there’s a chance they may make it work after all, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s not to bet against Marvel.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #188 - Hercules (2014)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #304

Format: Blu-ray

1) This movie is half of the two and a half films I’ve seen in a movie theater without anyone else in it (the other two being Brick Mansions & Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping). I was in the theater with two people for the first half of the movie but they left halfway through. I don’t think they left because of the quality though but because they snuck into the theater. Either way, I’ve seen 501 films as of writing this recap and only during 2.5 of those have I been alone in a theater.

2)

Iolaus: “You think you know the truth about him? You know nothing.”

While this line begins Iolaus’ going into the pretty standard Herculean myth (the twelve labors and all), this entire idea is the basis of the film. We don’t know Hercules. Not this Hercules. Because - in what helps set this film apart from other Hercules movies - it does away with the fantasy. There are no monsters, no Olympians, no Titans, it’s just men and myths about them. And while the twelve labors are gone over in an abbreviated opening scene in an entertaining way, it’s much more interesting learning that these mysteries & myths are nothing more than human beings playing tricks. It’s a concept that immediately helps make the film more interesting.

3) Dwayne Johnson as Hercules.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Johnson was incredibly dedicated to this part, as I understand it was a dream role for him. And honestly, he makes the film. Hercules is not the hero the myth makes him out to be, although he clearly has the beating heart of a good man. But that heart is buried under a facade. A con man, a showman, a scoundrel, a mercenary who cares only for gold. But despite his efforts to convince those around him that this is all he is, it is very clearly NOT the case. Johnson plays the mythical hero with such pure emotion and honesty it’s hard not to immediately invest in his character. What is especially important is that he can play the heartache of Hercules which is always just under the surface. Johnson is also able to differentiate between when Hercules is putting on a show for others and when he’s being himself. He’s able to switch between over the top drama and honest vulnerability in a refreshing way. It’s just amazing, really.

4) Hercules could have easily been a loner with a lot of man pain in this movie, but he’s not. He’s got this incredibly rich group of family around him, a support system. It is the relationships in this group which are the most interesting thing in the film. The banter, humor, heart, trust, and kinship between these characters is the very soul of this film. Each one of them is strong and developed in interesting ways, more so than the villain even. It’s just…I’m a sucker for found families in fiction. And this is a pretty freaking good found family group.

5) I would have to say that my favorite member of Hercules’ party is EASILY Atalanta.

Portrayed by Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Atalanta is unfortunately a victim to the Smurfette principle by being the only woman in a group full of men. And while I don’t think the film passes the Bechdel test it sure as hell destroys the Sexy Lamp Test. Atalanta is just fucking awesome. She has no patience for sexist bullshit and the fact she is able to put it to bed so easily means we don’t have to deal with it in the story! An Amazon in the film (not the greek myths), she’s just really badass and tough, so although she doesn’t get as much focus as the titular hero I just love her so much.

6) I disagree with this. But maybe I’m supposed to, considering it’s said by the film’s surprise villain.

King Cotys [after Hercules says he’s nothing more than a mercenary]: “How we view ourselves if of little consequence. How others perceive us is important.”

I understand in reality people are going to treat me based on how they see me not how I see myself, but you know what? Someone could look at me and think I’m so fat fucking slob who is just going to mooch off their wallets. And I could either concern myself with trying to change that or be my own person because I am definitely NOT that.

7) Ian McShane as Amphiaraus.

Ian McShane is a bright spot in pretty much every single film he’s in and Hercules is no different. He has a wonderful sense of humor, heart, and warmth which permeates every single scene he’s in. You like Amphiaraus, you understand him, you care about him, it’s all wonderful.

8) It’s really great seeing the team dynamic in action on the battlefield. Iolaus playing up the myth of Hercules and the rest of the team watching to follow his lead. You quickly understand why they work so well together.

9) The ensuing action sequence is fun too, if not perfect. It can be slow and it cane be a bit by the numbers, but at times it’s creative and the set piece is enjoyable throughout.

10)

Hercules: “I never knew my father.”

If you accept that the legend of Hercules is just that - a legend - then suddenly this very interesting question comes up: who is Hercules’ dad? We know his mother is human but the fact his father is always absentee is choked up to the fact that he’s an Olympian. But once you take that away Hercules has the unfortunately-too-common pain of not knowing why his absentee dad ditched him. That’s a really interesting concept, I think.

11) The scene where the team each recounts how they met Hercules, how they joined his group and family, where they remember the loyalty and compassion he has shown each of them, it’s surprisingly moving. It feeds into the found family dynamic I love so much and just makes you further invested in their relationship.

12) This film’s biggest issue is that it can truly drag at times. The battle with Rhesus’ army doesn’t do enough to differentiate itself from the previous battle with the Bessi (Bessie? I don’t know how it’s spelled). It feels a little repetitive to me so I largely just zone out. Which is unfortunate for a 90 minute film.

13) HERCULES FLIPS A FUCKING HORSE!!!!

14) Unfortunately Cotys’ evil just sort of happens. There aren’t really any clues before the twist it’s just, “Oh, you know you’re fighting for the bad guy right?” And then suddenly he’s entirely evil.

15) Fuck. Yes. Atalanta!

Atalanta [after Hercules says they can leave him to fight, that whatever debt they felt they had is repaid]: “Debt? You think we follow you because we owe you? Look around, Hercules. We’re a family. All we have is each other.”

16) This line always stuck with me.

King Eurystheus [on why he betrayed & framed Hercules for the murder of his wife & children]: “I can deal with an ambitious man he can be bought, but a man who wants nothing has no price.”

17) This is pretty damn good.

Hercules has had a crisis of identity throughout the entire film. Is he the man who murdered his family, the hero the world thinks he is, the selfish mercenary he tells people he is? He doesn’t know who he is, but when he exclaims, “I am Hercules!” he decides what that means. He decides Hercules is going to fight for those he loves and for what is right, demigod superpowers or not. And that’s a pretty solid conflict resolved in an entertaining way.

18) I fucking love this.

(GIFs originally posted by @kingputaz)

I’m not much of a believe in predetermined fate, so I’m glad this film kinda just said, “Screw that.”

19)

Hercules [after Eurystheus begs for forgiveness so his life may be spared]: “You want forgiveness? [Hercules kills Eurystheus] Ask my family for forgiveness.”

(GIF originally posted by @onceland)

20) Similar to note #12, the final battle with Cotys’ army is really just filler it feels like. It would have been far more interesting if the army had immediately turned to Hercules’ side, because they do eventually do that after Cotys is dead. And the scene doesn’t do much to differentiate itself. It’s really just by the numbers, I feel.

21)

Amphiaraus [about Hercules]: “Is he actually the son of Zeus? I don’t think it really matters.”

YES! THIS! Oh my god, yes! Hercules is a hero because of the choices he makes and his actions, not because of heritage. I dig it, I love it, rock it!

The Dwayne Johnson Hercules is a hidden gem in a longline of both greek mythology movies and swords/sandals action flicks. The dynamic between Hercules and his team is remarkably interesting, Johnson is absolutely incredible in the part, and it’s a lot more enjoyable than a Hercules movie directed by Brett Ratner might be. All in all, it’s just a really enjoyable 90 minutes I suggest you watch. Just a sheer good time.

#Hercules #Dwayne Johnson #Ian McShane #Ingrid Bolsø Berdal #John Hurt #Movie #FIlm #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Mandy Patinkin #GIF #Boy That Escalated Quickly #Squealing