S1 E38
The Test
So.... Alone Together was one of the best episodes of the show so far. So to have one of the best episodes immediately be followed up by another PERFECT episode is...whew. I just got hit with peak twice.
Pearl experiences 'Gamer Rage™'.
Y'all.....how the FUCK is Garnet SO FUCKING COOL?! I swear she must be like a sponge for coolness & naturally absorbs all the coolness in the universe because that's the only logical explanation for how she's THIS FUCKING COOL ALL THE TIME.
Okay Pearl was just being Pearl here & as you all know, yes, she's peak. As always.
That's My Pearl!™
She was just trying so hard to make him feel better & it just went so bad. She's a fucking wet cat. I love her. In fact, all 3 gems were just at their best this episode. Amethyst was fucking hilarious & Garnet was somehow even cooler than she was before. No seriously I swear she actively gets cooler with each episode it's weird. How is she getting even cooler. HOW CAN SHE BE THIS COOL SHE'S SO FUCKING COOL.
I love how this calls back to an earlier episode with the sea spire. Like holy shit: So them having Steven 'fail' all the way back in that episode was done so they could set up another episode later on? THAT'S SO FUCKING DOPE HOLY SHIT. THE WRITERS ATE THAT SHIT.
Amethyst is apparently a big fan of that marble madness game on NES. Wow. Amethyst is such a 'Gamer™'.
The first thing I thought of when I saw Pearl's music puzzle dungeon should probably have been like, Dance Dance Revolution or something. But no, the thing that came to my silly mind instantly was that one part of Battle For Bikini Bottom in the mermalair stage. You know the one.
Even her dungeon is fucking cool.
Okay ngl I saw this plot twist coming the second they said they designed the dungeons but I didn't see the scene of them talking about feeling like failures coming. Seeing even Garnet, fucking GARNET, even her being so unsure? That legit fucking hits so much. And then Steven being there to give THEM the comfort? This ending made me tear up. Like actually got my eyes watering. This episode & the last one have easily been the best episodes so far. Holy shit.
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darkness to the left, a stream on the right, flowing over rocks under a distant bridge; bare trees reach over the water. the image is distorted by VCR static. white text reads:
[023] THE TEST. A CALLER MISSES AN OPPORTUNITY. THE HOST WADES IN.
listen here, or anywhere you find your podcasts. transcript under the cut:
[static, radio tuning]
[Traveling Sales Rep: Don’t touch that dial! We’ll be right back, after these short messages.] [static, radio tuning]
[click]
Hello and welcome to Thin Places Radio. I’m your host,
and it is the middle of the night. But don’t worry. You’re not alone.
[Thin Places theme]
[water sloshing and flowing] [crickets chirping] [owl hooting]
I’m coming to you in the flow from my studio, which is what I like to call this stream I am currently standing in, pant cuffs rolled up to just below my knees. The water’s cold. It’s dusk, and there were too many mosquitos when I got out of the car wherever I am now to grab the winter coat that I saw caught in the barbed wire of the fence that’s stretching across this little hill. The hood is shredded, but the lining’s still intact, and that’s what matters. The road provides.
Mosquitos don’t like running water. They look for stagnant pools to lay their eggs. I think that’s something I might have judged them for, even just a few months ago. But don’t we all need a place to lay our heads? Every night I move, like water. I thought that meant I was always changing. Maybe it did. But isn’t there something stagnant about always doing the same thing, too?
I’ll wait them out. It really is freezing, though.
[water burbles]
So… what is Thin Places Radio? Well, you can call in about anything strange that you’ve got going on in your life - feelings, omens, premonitions, hauntings.
Do you keep seeing cardinals?
Are you being tested?
Did you have a vision from the other side?
When the veil between worlds is thin, we get closer than ever to the strange and the unexplained - but also to each other. Call in, get it off your chest. Lines are open.
[click] [voicemail:]
I was in London several years ago for work, and a colleague and I were walking from a pub to dinner, and all of a sudden the woman appeared out of nowhere, uh, asking for money. Our initial response was to say no and to continue on our walk, but we reconsidered and turned around, and we turned around, she was gone - vanished. Even though it was a small, narrow alleyway that we were walking down. Was this some kind of a test? Was she a figment of our imagination? Not really sure what happened, but we've really thought about it since then.
[click]
Mm. Thank you for your quandary, caller. The shorter answer is: I don’t know. But here’s the long one:
She was real. You know that she was real - not because you both saw her, but because she’s still on both your minds. But was it a test? And if it was a test, what kind of test was it?
[searching music]
I want to tell you that it wasn’t, that life doesn’t work that way - that we're not being judged and measured by every small failing we accumulate. I don’t think that life is a test, but I think that we are often tested by it. We're often weighed down by our own shortcomings.
I don’t know if what happened back then was a test, but it’s become one since then. You’ve made it one in your memory through the very act of failing it. You have measured yourself and found yourself wanting. That’s a good sign, as long as you take it with you into the future instead of getting mired in the past.
Someone told me once that your second thought is the one that matters - the one that shows who you really are, once you take a moment to think a situation through, to recognize your own biases and internal voices, and lay them aside. This is good. But sometimes the second thought just comes too late. Sometimes the apology isn't accepted. Sometimes there’s damage done. Sometimes when you turn back to do the right thing, the person you wanted to help has vanished.
And what then? Maybe, then, we stop testing ourselves. Maybe we just try to make it right the next time.
[click] [Traveling Sales Rep over bouncy, distorted music:]
- we’ll work with YOU to get you the deal you deserve. Pay what you can. Because there’s always something you can pay. There’s always something you can give. What do you want? [voice distorts] What would you hand over to get it? [pause] Call now, and we’ll throw in a free -
[click]
[water flowing] [crickets chirping]
It’s dark - really dark, now. My feet have gone numb here, and my coat has gone warm, which means that it’s time for me to keep moving. I don’t have anything miring me, here in the present or back in the past. I never do. I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
I thought it was, when - when I - I don’t know. [frustrated] I can’t remember what happened. What I’ve done. That’s the anchor in the back of my head, now. Remembering that I don’t remember. Remembering that there was something to forget at all.
[owl hoots] [the host takes a steadying breath]
Okay. I’m going to run back to my car, now, from this ordinary stream, on unsteady feet that will sting as I pump blood back into them again, and I’ll probably fall on the way there, and my feet will burn when they thaw out, and I will savor all of these sensations as they come. Wish me luck.
[water sloshes as she gets out of the stream]
[distantly:] oh, oh my god, okay, ahh-
[click]
Thank you for listening, callers, and thank you for calling, listeners. I hope you feel a little bit lighter. I know I do. As always, our number is 717.382.8093. That’s 717.382.8093. Until next time. I’ll be here.
[static] [Traveling Sales Rep: visit us at the - diner just off -] [Various Garbled Voices: the - road - provides - the - road - provides -]
Thin Places Radio is a podcast written by Kristen O’Neal and produced by Kaitlin Bruder. The voice of Your Host is Kristen O’Neal.
Tonight’s voicemail was left for us by Kevin. The SFX, music, and voice of our Travelling Sales Rep are by Miles Morkri. Editing and sound design are by Kaitlin Bruder, and the music tracks you heard in tonight’s episode are: the Thin Places theme, by Miles Morkri, and Umeed by RANA. If you have a question to ask, a story to tell, or a suggestion for the host, give us a call at (717) 382-8093. The lines are always open.
[Thin Places Theme outro]
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Baldi’s Basics Characters As Warriors Cats?
Not everyone’s here I know but I’ll get to them eventually.
And yes, I took these poses from the Warrior’s Wiki.
From top left to bottom right:
Chalkwarble (Chalkles): Warrior
Principalstar (Principal of the thing): Leader
Barepelt (Baldi) (Yes he’s a Sphinx.): Deputy
Twitchingstrike (Dr. Reflex): Medicine Cat
Sweepingrush (Gotta Sweep): Warrior
Tradewatcher (Johnny) (Yes, he’s wearing all his shop items): Mediator
Stiffenedgaze (The Test): Warrior
Cottonpaw (Arts And Crafters): Apprentice
(His mentor is Cloudybreeze, Cloudy Copter)
Close ups under the cut! Plus the actual state of my desk after drawing all these guys
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